#a funny thing happened on the way to therapy

[rweiser]

Hey just wanted to say I love your sukugo/gosuku fic a funny thing happened on the way to therapy <3 honestly I wonder how do you write your dialogues of these two sillies like their banter makes me laugh lol

aaahhhh thank you so much!!! I absolutely ADORE writing dialogue especially with these two characters cause they really are so goofy imo and there’s so much opportunity for banter!

When I write my chapters, I always do the dialogue first and then fill in the rest after, so the very first draft comes across almost like a script. I like doing it this way because it helps me focus on writing conversations that flow without worrying about the finer details, and it makes me more aware of how the dialogue is moving the scene along and what parts of the conversation aren’t really necessary for the moment. Idk if it really helps my dialogue or if I just get possessed by the spirit of gosuku each time I write, but it feels like it’s helpful so…if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it I guess lol

Thanks for reading and for your kind words!!! I hope you continue to enjoy this fic 🙏🏻

[bonnvivre]

a funny thing- ch 24/25 word dump

WUAHAHAHA 4AM BABEY YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

i’ve been cookin low and slow with this one and i mean real slow like. too slow . as in 2 weeks later whoops

this one’s a real doozy so grab a snack

FIRST PAGE ON THE GOSUKU TAG WHEN YOU SORT BY KUDOS LETS GOOOOOOO major rweiser W

———————————————

ch 24

thinking abt yuuji flying down the sidewalk and megumi becoming the equivalent of a flag whipping behind him pls yuuji not everyone can keep up 😭

fred says fuck

mmmmmm crunchy cookies i love me some egg shell

yeah with cooking, you can play around with the measurements and adjust along the way, but baking is whole different beast :[ i made creme brulee for our new year dinner, my first time baking actually, and i was terrified the entire process cus one wrong step and its over (they turned out good in the end, though i wanted to leave it in the fridge longer) 

sukuna and uraume on the same wavelength love that

daww megumi just be a kid its okay 

gojo’s nicknames for toji PLS father-fushi and fraidy-guro

hehehe he technically called sukuna pretty ,, i agree

LMAOOOOO AINT NO WAYY OFC HE SABOTAGED HIM 

i feel like toji would actually do well in getting sales (if he had the proper cookies) considering he’s “a pro at freeloading off women” which leads me to believe he’s got hella charisma . 

“Fushiguro stops just before the table, one hand balled into a fist so tight, the muscles of his arm are easy to see, flexing dangerously beneath his skin.” uwwheheheerhfbud sorry

OH SHT THE GIRLIES ARE FIGHTING YOOOOOOOO AND SUKUNA JUMPING IN FOR GOJO ???? in front of the kids in a school fundraiser is crazy lmao

pinky

gojo taking bets on who’s gonna win reminded me of mei mei betting on the gojo-sukuna fight

i had a crazy amount of secondhand embarrassment going thru that hhhhhh yknow that feeling when you just wanna curl up and cover ur eyes and you’re fighting to even look back ? yeaaaaa

“Hurting people is bad. And you’re not bad!” ohh yuuji ughhh he has no idea of what sukuna was before, that he’s done more than hurt people .. children really only see the side of their parents that they’ve allowed to show them. it’s why kids usually think the highest of them, so yuuji saying that sukuna’s not bad gets me cus he’s known and seen only the best of him. but it makes me feel gooey inside cus, while everyone else sees the former king of curses, yuuji sees his dad and when he does eventually find out, he’ll still always be his dad before anything else (does this make sense i hope it makes sense im trying to make my thoughts coherent)

oh hey they’re talking abt it !

I GASPED OH MY GOD PLEAS EOLASOE APLEAS EPLAS EPALEAPSLEAPSH NOOOOOOOOO FFGGHGBBVV HITTING MY BED GRFGHJVNGRRAAGGHHFEG

im being tortured i thinj you’re trying to kill me here this is the worst case of edging ive ever had in my life (no not like that) 

post-chapter notes:

IM ALREAYD RIOTING YASTOP BLUE BALLING ME

id read real housewives of jujutsu sorcery

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ch 25

GRADE 1 ?? AS IN ONE ?? AS IN  O N E  ?? AS IN, YUUJI IS NO LONGER A PRESCHOOLER

when you said small time-skip, i thought you meant a few months later . i was wrong

aight time to update the time board: yuuji’s in first grade so he’s 6 yrs old, we’re in 2013 now (i think), gojo is 24 yrs old  23 yrs old (chap takes place during summer, bday not passed yet)

it’s 2013, he can get a 3ds now :D im gonna get him on smash bros . OR KID ICARUS UPRISING IT SHOULD BE OUT ALREADY

they should totally name the potential pet after me (jk)

OKAYYYY THATS A START HE KISSED HIM ON THE HEAD !! WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE :O now go lower. preferably on the li

oh yeah yeah definitely not together whatever helps you sleep at night man

im gonna need the bad bitches birthday bash one-shot someday with the way shoko’s bringing it up

the fact gojo’s heard the threat so many times before that he can finish it and brush it off

CANDY CRUSH  !!?!??

AWWWWWW THATS ADORABLE ;____; sukuna wanting to do something to surprise gojo’s first day as a teacher and yuuji suggesting to make a cake cus he knows his daddy loves sweets AND they spent the whole day prepping awawawawaw so cutee

they called on uraume for help too LOL poor them 

yuuji being a snitch HA i can’t help but think of my siblings

you can’t be serious gojo, not after that? people also don’t usually sleep and cuddle the homies cmon man

mother is mothering and mother is leading the herd (no but i love how he adapted to the role very easily, likely to prior experience)

whuh the fundraiser was last year ? am i overthinking the timeframe … ok im back after going thru the calendar that makes sense 👍 carry on wait hold on first semester of first grade ended so they’re on break ... summer break ?? unless this is going off of a different schooling system (oh yeah duh japan lol)

ohhh please let them meet mama-guro i can imagine the absolute shock on their faces trying to comprehend how someone like toji managed to marry someone like her 😭 bonus points if toji is much more softer around her too and the sheer whiplash of seeing him having ANY sort of loving side is enough to send gosuku into a spiral

“It’s exactly the type of thing Sukuna would never be caught dead wearing, which means Satoru must do all in his near-infinite power to make him wear it.” real

THESE THREE ARE RIDICULOUS LMAOOOOOO sorry kids your fathers are busy trying to one-up each other

“But, then again, these are just go-karts; how much damage could he really do?” famous last words before disaster

oh no

hey sukuna’s living life at least he’s having fun and that’s all that matters 🥰

not the pyramid projectiles

CONICAL AMMO !?$&7)-)26 MARIO KART IRL GONE WRONG oh my god its too late for this i need to sleep

OH MY GOD ?????? 

WHADDYA MEAN THEY’RE GONE ??????

post chap notes:

what just happened

no really what jusr happened

the amount of times i’ve said oh my god throughout the entire go-kart scene i was clutching my pearls

he recreates his reign in the silliest ways, all while wearing nice little red bow :3

nah i get it the entire first arc was dedicated to how messed up he was abt suguru so i understand the doubts but they’ve also near kissed multiple times .. unless they were super down with kissing the homies 

“I sure hope nothing bad has happened to them...” STOP

[vaguely-concerned]

the idea this game posits that just as much as or even more so than lucanis is having a demon problem, spite is currently having a lucanis problem. is everything to me. spite voice bitch you live like this???

[banana-can-do-art]

I tried to write a response earlier but bad WiFi obliterated it. Rip my past response but I think I remember most of my points so here we go take two!

Imagine if the thing that tipped Grim over the edge actually was him lacking tuna though lol. Although us getting Grim angst in book eight would be both really sad and kind of funny bc like it’s Grim lol. Silly weasel man. I think he does have a really interesting backstory to uncover though considering his mentions of a lack of memory of his past and him not knowing his parents. He seems to be connected to Styx due to the fire ears matching Idia’s hair. I think he could be an escaped or failed experiment. I think his overblot while partially fueled by him eating all those rocks may also be fueled by his trauma if he discovers some things about his past.

Kalim has absolutely internalized the idea that him being rich means he can’t possibly have problems. Meanwhile majority of NRC is very wealthy but they still have trauma. Omg NRC is classist as hell but I’ve already done that ramble lol. I think that Kalim clings onto the idea that nothing could possibly be wrong for him since he’s rich as a coping mechanism to avoid having to process his trauma. I also think that Jamil has killed people to rescue him in the past. I mean with all of the assassination attempts there’s no way that Jamil didn’t have to get some blood on his hands. Which also probably something Jamil doesn’t want to process and Kalim also probably wouldn’t want to process that people died for him. I think this because of his comment in book 5 about how he would want the people who tried to kill him to live so that they could be better in the future. Like, Kalim, buddy, did something happen?! Poor guys both of them need so much therapy indeed.

I actually think it’s a bit of a theme in Twst that the characters will direct their hatred at something in their life at people who are not at fault. Leona is upset with Cheka, Malleus and Farena over his own issues over feeling like he will never be good enough due to never becoming king. Sebek is mean to humans because of his feelings of being caught between worlds as a half fae. Azul takes out his anger at his past bullies on random NRC students who had nothing to do with it. There are probably more examples I’m forgetting.

No literally so much of the cast will have the most angsty moments and then walk it off. Like when we got to the aftermath of the first overblot with Riddle and he was sobbing on the floor I assumed most ppl would react that way bc I mean they just relieved the worst moments of their lives and almost died. But no, most of the cast is just like oh that just happens and then walks it off. Like I know Riddle is one of if not the most emotionally unregulated ppl in the cast but like I feel like that is an event that deserves some sobbing afterwards.

Guys, I need to know who the housewarden before Riddle was. Like what freak of nature was so off the walls crazy, and so unbelievably lax with the rules that even though the students are upset with how strict Riddle is, they still don’t want that guy back or talk about how they wish he could be in charge again. Like who was this menace to society?

[arrja]

When you have nothing better to do, draw papa Sukuna with baby Yuji [EXCUSE THE IMPERFECTIONS, THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS]

Inspo- a fic on AO3 by @rweiser (this fic kept me up until 4 in the morning because I had to balance between inhaling the whole story up AND focusing on my academics)

Fic name- "A Funny thing happened on the way to therapy" by Weiserr (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY OHMYGAWD)

[regrindthelensagain]

I haven't earned a single goddamn thing but i can't quit the job. company fucking town

[goofyjelly]

hi yeah okay just had a REALLY intense Star Trek TNG nightmare about the holodeck that, I kid you not, ended in the fucking goofy ass style that TOS episodes end where they play fun music and tease each other.

PICARD, I WAS FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE IN THERE- we NEED to fix Holodeck 5 😭

[bonnvivre]

A Funny Thing- Ch 22 word dump

shortening the title cus it’s a pain to write over and over, full title in the tags, link to chapter below cut (as if ppl other than the author themselves will look at this but hey)

very much a word dump i have no idea what’s going on below this cut it’s 4am im tired

————————————————

i read every single chapter out loud to myself- i like to pretend i’m an english teacher reading the assigned story of the quarter to their students and then i give an oscar worthy performance with the dialogue

ALSO GOSUKU TAG HAS BEEN ADDED FOLKS WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

yeah dr sato as you should lmao honestly i’d dedicate my entire work hours to these two mfs

“After all, she has a feeling their story is still far from over. Who knows what else may be lurking beneath the surface.” girl this is 16 yrs of LORE of course it’s not over 😭 they got BAGGAGE

4 yrs old, born 2007, we’re at 2011 now, gojo is around 22 yrs old (note for me)

OH RIGHT YUUJI WAS MANIFESTED THRU MAGIC LMAO OFC HE DOESNT HAVE DOCUMENTS

“Yuuji doesn’t have a last name.” A

oh my gkd giggling sukuna having beef w the cheater, got into indoor cycling just to best her love that for him 

also love chismosa ‘kuna, telling gojo abt the tea, kettle and all, even giving him a real time show 

“In a feat of superhuman strength-“ LMAO

god im cryimg are those full coherent sentences ??? OJ GODKM GONSN FCRUY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YUUJIIIIIIIIIII a hundred billions hours oh ur so silly

teehee their son, our son, such subtle changes in the writing but it says so much 🥹

AWHSGAFAHAGDIS I KNEW HE WAS GONNA GET THE ITADORI SURNAME IM SO HAPPY FOR WASUKE HE DESERVES HIS SURNAME TAKEN BY HIS GRANDSON OH THE JOY 

god im sorry i just bursted out laughing while i was reading i couldnt help but think of the memes WHAHSDJ dad i frew up 

damn he didn’t return the handshake that’s actually so crazy

YUUJI THROWS UP ON HIS DESK OH SHITTF AAAAAAAA DESERVED SCREW YOU PRINCIPAL IVE BEEN GIVING A SINISTER BRITISH ACCENT TO

i initially thought it was mainly about sukuna’s “tattoos” that the first two schools were wary about, but i forget that, to others, they’re a queer family and definitely back then, it still wasn’t socially accepted. not sure why it didn’t cross my mind, especially with a conservative country like japan, but i’m glad there’s some light to it as a part of the challenges they go through while navigating their relationship and their lives.

HELLO WE’RE NOT JUSY GONNA BRUSH OVER THE FACT THAT THERE WAS A SECOND TIME THEY KISSED WITHIN THOSE 4 YEARS WTF DID I FORGET THIS ???? (after chapter note: OK COOL I WASNT FORGETTING THINGS LMAO oh please i gotta see what this infamous incident may be pleaseeeeeeee)

oooooooh the romance is really slow cooking goodness my favorite om nom nomnomnom

ohhhhhh my heart….what are you doing to me, weiserr……wholesome cute family moment…….my cause of death indeed

AWWWW AN ADMINISTRATIVE BODY THAT ACTUALLY CARES FOR THEIR STUDENTS’S WELL BEINGS LETS GOOOOOOO

after chapter thoughts:

MY MOM HAS A PELOTON BIKE TOO AHAHAHAHA LOVE MORE OF ‘KUNA IN HIS MOM ERA

imagine if they came across toji dropping off megumi at school or smth (yknow if mamaguro is still alive and their lives are good), i cant even imagine the animosity gojo and sukuna would have towards him

“heyyyy guys sorry i tried to kill you and your son back then crazy times huh”

his new friend is junpei bet (watch me be wrong)

[elysianightsss]

No because girl you NEEDDDDDD to elaborate on this -> Soulmate AU. Poly!141 x neurodivergent!reader <- I will die happily

Elaboratingggggggg🤭🫠

-

You didn’t think that you’d get this far in life, many reasons spring to mind but the main one is you’re a little different than most people. You can’t cope with certain things and struggle with change. You remember growing up your family would brush off your ‘issues’ and say to just deal with it. How little they understood you.

Moving out was the best decision you ever made, the only change you have ever been happy about. It was necessary and would make your life so much easier on a level only you could understand. You could set up your space the way you like it, the way you need it. And with just you, no one would mess with your stuff just to see you loose it as it was ‘funny’ or move things to suit them better.

This way, you could live in peace.

Task force 141 had just finished a successful mission, camping out in one of the many secret safe houses as they waited for further instructions when they had sent Johnny to the shop for supplies. That’s where he saw you, in a Sainsbury’s supermarket of all places, headphones tight over your ears to block out the world while you tried to decide if the extra two, ninety-nine was worth it or not for the soothing lavender face mask you wanted.

Johnny was quick to subtly snap a picture of you and even go as far as to follow you home before bolting it back to the guys to tell them he’d finally found you. Their last soulmate.

As soon as Johnny showed them the image of you, that was it for them. They had to have you. A burning need coursing through their veins, pumping around their bodies. Nothing would ever be enough until they had you in their arms.

But as said and as they observed themselves, you don’t cope with change.

So they had to situate themselves into your life slowly, one by one.

Johnny and Simon moved in next door to you, and lived there for seven months slowly getting to know you and obviously spying on you. They gradually began to understand you and your cute quirks. They know that you eat the same thing for dinner every night, you use the same plate or bowl and wash it straight after use to make sure it is ready for next time.

You have one set of cutlery, one glass and one mug. Two pillows though you only sleep on one and use the other to hug to sleep. And to top it all off you have one recliner chair and one massive beanbag chair that makes you feel like you’re being hugged tight each time you sit on it. It gives you the deep pressure therapy you desperately need at times.

The guys found your habits strange at first but the more time they spent with you, the more they began to understand you. Understand your need for order, for repetition. And they had experienced first hand what happens when change was forced into your safe space.

Johnny had the bright idea to gift you a set of cutlery a few weeks ago so when he and Simon came round for dinner as they did every Thursday for the past four months, they didn’t have to bring cutlery and plates from their own place, it would already be there.

Simon said it was a bad idea but he couldn’t say no to Johnny, not with how happy he looked while he picked out some pretty baby blue plates and silver cutlery with little mushrooms painted at the end. He boasted to Simon about how much you’d love them while they stood in the queue to pay.

He was wrong.

After dinner was cooked you plated up the food no problem thinking the pretty plates were from their house. Then you opened the kitchen drawer only to hear the clutter and smash of cutlery rubbing together. The sound made a ringing pierce your ears, your hands reaching up to cover them. It was like nails on a chalkboard to you. The sound you heard making you panic beyond measure, your breathing out of control as you slid to your knees.

Johnny’s smile dropped and he sprung into action using the deep pressure therapy you had told him about with your beanbag chair. Simon was quick to removed the extra plates and cutlery from where Johnny had put them and take them back to their place before returning ready to help. He knew he’d need to call John and let him know you had had an episode, but helping you came first.

So you liked constant repetition. If it made you happy, that was absolutely fine with them.

Kyle got himself hired as a barista at your favourite cafe, he learned your usual and practiced at home to make sure every morning when you stopped by on the way to work to drink your coffee and sit with your laptop for twenty minutes, you’d have the perfect drink. He made absolutely sure that it tasted the same every single time. No change.

After a couple of months of smiles and waves here and there he finally got you to open up. Baby steps. A little at a time and now Kyle was taking his twenty minute break at your table while you typed up something for work. You always worked so hard. But he managed to get a few sentences out of you each time and it made his heart sing.

And last but not least, John became your new boss after your last one mysteriously got caught for money laundering. Mr Price was an amazing boss, he didn’t ask for much and was always giving you big opportunities that you’d only ever dreamed of. You had been promoted twice since he became the CEO.

You were now executive editor under him as the chief editor at one of the best publishers in the country. Pirons Classics, number two in the UK and number four in the World. To say the guys were proud that you worked there in the first place was an understatement. Their smart girl.

He called you sweet nicknames and brought you lunch everyday. The same thing, a pesto and cheese sandwich and a snack of your choosing from the vending machines. You don’t remember when it started but you were always too shy to say anything so it became a regular thing.

If you were to sit and think real hard about the situation you would realise how changes had been introduced into your life ever since the four of them appeared. But they were subtle changes and you genuinely couldn’t remember a time when these changes weren’t normal. On top of that, these four men were the only people besides yourself, that you felt comfortable, relaxed and content around.

So for the first time you don’t sit and think, for the first time you just let it happen and you don’t notice the difference.

Johnny and Simon were more involved with you than the other two. They were the closest to you currently with the status of your best friends which Johnny most certainly bragged to the other two about. You had known them for almost a year now and they didn’t exactly hide their romantic relationship but didn’t exactly flaunt it either.

You had found it kinda hot when you saw them kiss and even though it was unusual for you, you luckily managed to keep your mouth shut about it.

You had no idea they had noticed.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Things I think about late at night

-discowing was Dicks dads costume

-the mullet everyone cracks jokes about (same) was given to him my mirage

- the OG Robin costume was based on his parents and his circus costumes and now it’s black, gray and orange

- Jason Todd’s biggest fear is not living up to Dick Grayson (in Bruce’s eyes)

- Damian Wayne’s biggest fear is disappointing Dick Grayson

- DC tried to make Dick and Donna a thing (no..just no)

-Dick and Damian both have a compulsive need to pick up strays (is this Bruce’s fault or did they bond over this?)

- Tim Drake is so cool in the comics and I wasted so many years hating him cuz fanon Tim is a lil bitch boy

-Jason Todd is such a loser in canon but it works so well on him god damn

-I’m actually rlly annoyed that Steph is never a contender for nightwing I think she’d do rlly well tbh

- Steph’s backstory is way sadder than Tim’s we should absolutely talk about it more

-Lian Harper :(

-Tim is so funny when he’s just some dude who ADHD hyperfixationed his way into a “I got adopted by my favorite band” y/n self insert fic except the band was a collection of deeply unstable people who fight crime and also happens to have an IQ of 180

-

This image

- the fact that Bruce and Dick/Damian/Tim have a deeply dysfunctional relationship and I need them in family therapy

- Cass isn’t actually Bruce’s favorite she’s just the one that should be.

- the fact that Jason Todd canonically likes Dick Grayson and doesn’t like Nightwing

- the fact that Donna and Stephanie Brown aren’t friends and have never had a run together in canon (they should be- give me mentor-mentee vibes fr ong)

- Damian wants to become a doctor like his grandfathers and his mom <3

-the fact that Dick missed a solid portion of Damian’s development if you consider both spryal and the Ric arc to have happened in the same timeline

- Dick stole Bruce,babs and Damian’s super

- Garth, Dick and Donna are a sliding scale of blue to black costumes (they come in a set!!!)

- the fact I don’t have enough Dick and Garth fanon and canon content

- Jason/ Red hood needs an iconic establishing story like Nightwing year 1. I feel like Dixons Grayson is so easy to reference as like the “standard Grayson” before you add all the other (imo better) stuff from other future runs and tbh I don’t think Jason has any (if you disagree gimmie some recs)

- the fab 5 are called that in canon

- Garth didn’t have any friends pre joining the OG titans

- nightwing is on every Pride cover every damn year and he hasn’t kissed Roy or Wally yet? Sir? Plz

- Wally lost his wife and children multiple times in canon

- young Roy was bitter and wanted to compete with Robin!Dick but adult Roy wants to punch Bruce in the face bc he realizes bby Grayson was so abnormal

[void-my-warranty]

Simon who knows about your trauma, who will take it upon himself to ask for a new table if there’s a dad berating his kids nearby, or a group of overly loud business men.

He claims he doesn’t like it any more than you do, though you don’t buy it for a second. He’s surrounded by men yelling every day at work — probably barely notices it, except for the way your muscles tense and your eyes go unfocused while you try to cope with the dread.

You feel so dumb that you’re like this, that even the sound of a group of men having fun together can set you off sometimes. You should be able to go out with your boyfriend without being constantly on the lookout for loud drunks. It shouldn’t bother you when half-deaf old men try to make small talk. You’re here with Simon, you’re safe.

Maybe you need some exposure therapy. Simon would go for that, you rationalize. And besides, you trust him. He’s never raised his voice at you, never lost control or given you that frantic urge to escape. It would probably be fine, you could just have him yell nursery rhymes at you until it starts to sound funny instead of terrifying.

But you end up dragging your feet on the idea, and then one day you get in a fender bender.

Your brain takes a few seconds to catch up to why the car suddenly slammed forward, and then you hear Simon’s, “Alright, you?”

“Yeah… yeah, I’m f—“

The angry slam of a car door has your fight or flight activating, freezing you halfway from unbuckling yourself.

“What the fuck, man?” comes an upset bellow, and Simon might as well not exist from the way your sore neck whips around to assess the incoming danger.

“Keep your voice down, mate,” Simon gruffs, opening his door to intercept whoever rear ended you.

This is the worst. This is the worst—

“Keep my fuckin voice down? The light was green, jerk off! Maybe they didn’t teach you that in Australia, but that means you fucking go!”

“Be right back, love.” Simon ducks his head in to give you a quick kiss on the cheek that smushes your head to the side, and then turns up the dial on the music to ear-blasting heights, so loud that you don’t even hear the car door close behind him.

You pull your feet up onto the seat and stare at the dash, letting girly pop music drill into your eardrums and trying to ignore the muffled raised voices coming from somewhere outside.

It was just a little bump, probably didn’t do much to the car. Everything will be fine, Simon will just try to calm him down, and if he can’t, he’ll… call the police, or something. That’s the normal thing to do. You weren’t the one driving, so there’s no reason people would be mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong, you’re safe. You’re not in trouble, Simon’s not even in trouble. You’re safe.

It takes a surprisingly short amount of time before Simon gets back in the car, and then directs it out into the flow of traffic once more. You turn the music down to ask what happened.

“Ahh, nothing much. Exchanged information and went on his way.”

You frown in confusion at the glove box, which he definitely didn’t come back to get any papers from.

“It wasn’t our fault, right?”

“Course not, love. He apologized and everything, don’t you worry.”

Simon’s hand pats your knee a few times in a comforting way, and you finally let yourself breathe a little. If only you were as good at diffusing difficult situations as Simon. 🩷

Drabble masterlist

[coco-loco-nut]

Father’s Day

pairing: max verstappen x reader

summary: max is dating an international star

a/n: i literally had this idea last night and had to write a short blurb, i promise i am writing other stuff tho 🫶

masterlist

————————

y/username happy father’s day, daddy. i love you and your big…

maxverstappen1 anything to share with me?

y/username not pregnant, just letting everyone know how turned on you get me

maxverstappen1 love you too, schat

user12 anyone else not getting it, like she is so hot and he is 😬

y/username you know that one barbie scene with the rock? that’s my maxie. also if you think he’s ugly, that’s fine, more of him for me 😍

user98 Y/N BARBIE FAN CONFIRMED

y/username priority 1: old barbie movies priority 2: max

user3 ON THE MAIN?

user33 PR monster got her, I really wanna know what she was about to say

recordlabel we don’t… we actually want bleach for our eyes

redbullracing we will share our bleach if you send us demos of her next album 👀

charlesleclerc Go on, finish the sentence, I dare you.

y/username his big heart, ego, ass, trophy case, therapy bill from childhood trauma, i could keep going on but i don’t want to make you feel emasculated

user62 okay, but like how did he bag her?

y/username he has incredible rizz, and look at him🤤

“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you grin as Max lays on you lap, looking up at you with his beautiful blue eyes.

“You aren’t pregnant, Schat,” he laughs, your fingertips gently scratching his scalp.

“We could change that, get some practice in for after the wedding?” you watch his eyes widen as he quickly sits up.

“Practice makes perfect, why don’t we practice now?” Max suggests, picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom.

Your wedding is small, only some close friends and family in attendance. The ceremony takes place in your backyard, no reception beyond a dinner afterwards.

Despite both your respective fame levels, you didn’t want anyone knowing of the marriage. Fans still thought you were dating, so when you got a positive pregnancy test, you were extra careful.

Max was grateful that you had a private recording studio in the house, for when you needed to drop the album. You didn’t mean to choose the surprise drop date to be at the end of your pregnancy, nor Father’s Day, but life worked in funny ways.

“Happy Father’s Day, Maxie,” you softly say, handing the little bundle off to Max.

“This is the best present, he’s beautiful,” Max hold back tears as he holds his son close to his chest.

“I’m not sure if I will be able to top this next year,” you laugh a little, your tiredness making an apparent after a long labor.

“You should take a nap, I’ll be okay with him,” Max runs a hand though your sweaty hair. To him, you’ve never looked more perfect.

“I have one thing to do first,” you yawn, pulling out your phone. Max slides into the hospital bed beside you, you immediately nestle into him, his warmth enveloping you.

instagram

y/username SURPRISE! midnight rain is out now! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it for the past four years. There is so much in my life that happened, so enjoy my journey through heartbreak, love, and growth. I want to quickly thank Max and my team for making this possible 💙

user1 AHHH this is so good, but didn’t she and Max break up? Why is she thanking him?

user3 dude, i think they are married, did you listen to everything else

user4 yeah, she had some songs about marriage, but she hasn’t been at any races since last year

user10 did y’all see the statement saying there won’t be a tour for the album?? crying in the club

user11 Okay, but Robin?? secret child??

maxverstappen1 endlessly proud of you, schatje

user5 we get it bro, she wrote Dress and The Alchemy about you

maxverstappen1 our little robin decided to hatch 💙

danielricciardo So happy for you and Y/n, mate. Big day for the Verstappen family, can’t wait to hold the little guy!

y/username he will love his Uncle Danny

y/username he’s perfect, just like his daddy

redbullracing what a gift for father’s day! sending our gift to you 💙

user42 guys, y/n’s song credits changed…

user21 OMG MAX AND Y/N ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A KID???

[undead-cypress]

Strohl and Hulkenberg are so funny to me as a duo. They're the exact same type of people - they NEED to pledge their life to a liege or they'll start ripping up your couch like an understimulated shepherd dog. However they go about it in polar opposite directions. (Early-game story spoilers ahead, mid-game gameplay spoilers) Hulkenberg had her life purpose taken away years back and comes to realize hyperfocusing probably isn't the optimal way to go about it, so she expands her horizons to do her duty better. Strohl had no will to live until joining the assassination plot, and then it fails so bad he resolves to hyperfocus so hard the classes he unlocks can only do one thing, critical slash damage really really well

Hulkenberg is the formal knightly one but she delights in mucking around and would rather fist fight people than think. But then she demolishes you in chess and teaches you tactics while Strohl, the familiar casual guy who's a lot more stategically minded is the one always sharpening a sword and implying if anything happened to you, seppuku may be on the table - Gallica this is so scary play encounter music - my courage has increased

It all clicked when I saw their third tier classes are paladin/dark knight and samurai. Ohhhh you guys are henchmen. You wanna be henchmen so bad. They're the exact same kinda guy but are completely baffled by everything the other guy does. They have everything in common and nothing in common. They both think they're the normal one of the group. They have completely different ideas about how to best do their jobs but they simply must beat the shit out of each other on the deck daily or else they might have to actually go to therapy. I need an early 2000s team up/roadtrip action movie with these two where Will is faking being kidnapped to draw out the bad guys but Gallica didn't tell Strohl and Hulkenberg because their bad acting would immediately give it away and they proceed to absolutely demolish the metaphorical furniture of the house of Euchronia looking for the world's most specialest lil' captain. Do you see my vision 🤌

[blondeaxolotl]

Finally dropping a ref sheet for my yuusona, say hi to Yuu/Ebi

undercut if you want to hear me yap about her a bit

Yuu, or Ebi is a giant monster shrimp (non-magic user). Where she came from or what her homeland is currently unknown. But it's safe to assume she comes from a place populated by mostly sea monsters like her.

Despite being a monster (maybe similar to Grim?), Ebi seems to have a more calming and sensible personality when compared to Grim, only reacting strongly when something seriously bad is going to happen (ex: someone almost fucking dying) or when she's over-exaggerating to just get a reaction out of someone. Surprisingly, when she arrived to NRC, she had a more irritated reaction knowing full well she was somewhere she didn't belong, and complained under her breath about "missing work and getting family worried for nothing". In other words she seemed to have known she wasn't in any true danger when she arrived, thankfully. Ebi also appears to be naturally caring for others, immediately taking in with living with Grim at Ramschackle (and eventually becoming his caretaker basically), and helping Ace and Deuce out with whatever issues they're having without hesitation (issues being either preventing them from almost being expelled or just help with simple homework). This soon enough became an on-going thing with majority of the students, and according to Ebi it's because;

"I grew up in a large family and have always taken care of my younger siblings. It's in my duty to help and take care of those who need a hand to come pick them up from the ground, even if they didn't ask for it."

It didn't help that Ebi was already older than most students there, being closer to Leona's age, she started to view and treat a lot of students as if they were her younger siblings. And like it was meant to be, this quickly made her earned the title of "Big Sis Ebi". Making it known that she was someone who the students could trust and come to for both help and comfort. This meant there were a lot of visits at Ramschackle, (especially from the ones who overblotted GULPS) but fortunately, this just made Ebi feel more at home as it reminded her of her actual siblings back at her homeland, so she doesn't mind these visits (Grim on the other hand not so much).

Also yes, just like any older sibling, this does mean Ebi started to mess and tease the ones she viewed as younger siblings a lot. It ain't a true sibling bond without at least a wee bit of sibling rivalry 👌 (Rip Ace he's the most common victim to this).

ANYWAY, okay enough yapping, when I first created Ebi she was just a silly gag I made when I first got into twst.

But when I actually started to put effort into her I at first didn't know what to do since most yuusonas I know of were shipped with other characters. But I didn't want Ebi to have anything romantic with any character, I decided what better way than to basically make her the older sister figure everyone comes to when they need help? I thought it's both funny that characters are looking for comfort from a literal giant fucking shrimp, but also twst characters genuine just seem to lack a lot of comfort because Jesus fucking Christ all of you need therapy and a hug, no matter if it's by a shrimp or not 😭.

Okay yeah, that's it for Ebi if anyone has any questions about her or her dynamics with other characters, feel free to send an ask in my inbox 🦐.

[alexiroflife]

"phobia"

i literally can't stop writing for this mf, flufffff :(

satoru gojo x reader

Synopsis: you are an incredibly talented sorcerer, but your deadly fear of spiders tends to interfere with your daily life every now and then. it doesn't help when you happen to encounter a curse that looks just like one

to sum it up: satoru is always there for you to kill a spider when you need him to

WC: 2,764

Warning(s): arachnophobia, icky spiders

The burden of a Jujutsu Sorcerer was taxing beyond comprehension, which of course was why it paid so well.

Sorcerers were expected to give their lives each day within the battlefield, watching as their comrades and the people they were expected to protect die left and right at the hands of the morbid amalgamations of human beings’ worst possible fears, anxieties, doubts, and other nasty negative emotions.

To be a sorcerer was to sacrifice oneself, to accept death before it inevitably took its toll on those around you, and then eventually, on you yourself. This was why sorcerers were expected and trained to be strong, fierce, and with perhaps a few screws loose in their heads to allow them to plow full force into danger with no fears and no regrets. 

Sorcerers were meant to be fearless.

And in many ways, you truly were. You were a first grade sorcerer, more than capable of handling yourself in the face of adversity. You were proficient, quick on your feet, merciless when you had to be, and above all, you were confident in your abilities, which was just as important of a trait to have as a sorcerer as courageousness. 

You were a proud woman, content that you could put your skills to good use by aiding those who were weak and helpless, by saving as many lives as you could alongside your colleagues at Jujutsu Tech. 

You were a damn good sorcerer too, only, there remained a small matter that often seemed to creep up on you at the worst of times. Something you had tried desperately to overcome through years of training, therapy, private meetings with Yaga, and more. Something that had been clinging to you since the very moment you were born, and something you were still somehow unable to completely escape well into your twenty-sixth year of life. 

And that was your deathly fear of spiders.

You admitted that it was silly, that to have made it this far within the world of sorcery after having encountered more horrors than most people could imagine, a little fear of spiders was completely absurd. You knew it didn’t make any sense, that this fear of yours was beneath you, but that didn’t stop you from shrieking horribly and seeking shelter each time you saw a spider crawling along the wall of your apartment. 

You knew that you should have had more patience with yourself, for there was no way of conquering a fear if you refused to acknowledge it as valid, but come on. You were a grade 1 sorcerer for god’s sake, a professor at Jujutsu High teaching students to cast their fears aside to focus their emotions and energies into properly honing in on their techniques, yet you still couldn’t get over being squeamish any time you saw those little demons hurdling their way over the earth. 

In your mind, they were far worse than curses, a source of terror that must have been executed. 

Nevertheless, you kept your fears to yourself for the sake of your occupation and reputation. The only person who knew anything about this vulnerability of yours was your boyfriend, Satoru, and even he found it funny at times to tease you about such a small thing in a world plagued by monsters and curse-users. He had seen you slice open a curse all the way down the middle of its body with a blank face, blood spattering in all directions, but spiders were what got you. 

While he poked fun, he still harbored an understanding that beneath the hardened exterior sorcerers were forced to put up, you were all born of flesh and blood just as any other living being on this planet. 

Satoru was quick to rush to your apartment whenever you called him screaming, standing atop your bed and jumping up and down on your cushions in fear upon catching sight of one of those nasty things. He would throw your door open, catch you in your rather comical position, and hold back a fit of laughter upon seeing you.

“SATORU, SHUT UP AND JUST KILL IT! PLEASE!”

“Calm down, pretty, it’s not gonna hurt you,” he would say, a sickening smirk gracing his gorgeous features. “You’ve faced much worse things than this.”

“I don’t care!” you’d sob. “Just kill it please!”

And once he was finished picking on you, he’d hurry to your aid, approaching the bug in the corner and flicking his finger, rendering the creature dead. 

Then afterwards, he’d always hold out his arms for you to jump down into them once you determined it was safe, cooing into your ear as you threw your arms and legs around him, his hand holding your head. 

“You were so brave, baby. Good job, you got through it.”

It was humbling, to say the least, for the strongest to witness you in such a weak state, but despite Satoru’s teasing, he still took you very seriously. He didn’t diminish your strengths or your worths because of a simple fear. Hell, he had fears that he had buried deep within his gut that only you could drag out of him, and that was okay. Satoru poked fun, but he never judged his precious girl for feeling. 

After all, he enjoyed the fact that you were comfortable enough to let him see you in such a light after long days of having to be strong, just like him. He liked that he could help you with this one thing, even if it meant teleporting into your room at two in the morning on a work day. As long as he was taking care of you, he didn’t care less what you needed. When you needed him, he would be at your aid within a heartbeat. 

And in this moment, you really, really did need him.

Yaga had sent you on a quick solo mission to eradicate a few low grade curses at a nearby summer camp facility while most of the other sorcerers were busy with training or on leave for other missions. It was a quick and easy task for you, granted that your grade was much higher than those of the curses you would be exorcizing.

Only, what Yaga failed to inform you, and likely did not know or care about, was that one of these particular curses was unlike the rest. While you easily winded through the three other creatures, the very last one at the end of the corridor caught you by surprise. 

Your face was hardened as you whipped your head around, sensing the presence of the last curse within the space. Once your eyes landed on the source of the cursed energy, however, your face dropped and your eyes shrank in terror.

There before you cowered a three foot tall dark purple curse which took an arachnoid shape, with an array of beady red eyes atop its head and eight hair legs digging into the wood of the floorboards. Your heart dropped and your mouth ran dry, your body freezing in its tracks. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t think, you couldn’t do anything. Of all the first grade curses you had come across in your lifetime, this grade 3 creature would be the very first thing that stood between you and seeing the light of day.

The curse hissed, chattering its chelicerae-like mouth as its legs tapped restlessly against the floor, sending a horrid shiver up your spine. You were stronger than this, braver than this, you knew you were, but your legs had gone to jelly and your heart was pounding in your ears. Perhaps if you had been given a warning ahead of time. you would have been able to approach this threat differently, but instead, much to your shame, you took off in the opposite direction once your legs willed you to move. 

You could hear it crawling after you down the hall, screeching out nonsensical sounds as it rounded the corner to follow you. You were quick to duck into the first room you saw, slamming the door shut behind you and pressing your back against the surface. You searched the room in a panic, which you discovered to be a dorm, and ran to take cover in a closet in the corner.

You trembled, sinking down to the bottom of the platform as heavy, panicked breaths wracked your body. This was pathetic. This was humiliating. You were better than this, but god, this fear, those damned spiders would always get the best of you, despite how hard you tried to help it. 

You were trembling, squeezing your eyes shut as whimpers spilled from your quivering lips. That thing was so big, bigger than any spider you had encountered, and while you understood it was a curse, it looked far too real. 

You didn’t know what to do. You had to finish this mission, and the principal wouldn’t accept a sorry excuse about you being too afraid to exorcize a curse because it looked like a spider for an answer as to why you would come running back to the school. It sounded ridiculous! Especially for someone with your skill. 

You could hear the creature running up and down the halls erratically, its gross legs clicking against the walls. You pressed your lips together tightly, wrapping your arms around yourself. You wanted this to stop.

Hesitantly, you reached into the pocket of your uniform to shakily pull out your phone. You breathed out heavily, on the verge of a panic attack, trembling fingers dialing your boyfriend’s number with his. You lifted the phone to your ear and listened to it ring.

Then it clicked.

“Hello? Baby?” Satoru’s comforting voice spoke into the phone, a sigh of relief escaping you. “What’s up? You done with that little mission yet?”

“S-Satoru?” you whispered, voice trembling harshly. Immediately, the sorcerer on the other line knew something was off.

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” his tone dropped with urgency. “What happened? Are you okay?”

You pursed your lips again, muffling a pathetic sob that was prepared to break past your mouth. You scrunched your eyes closed, the confined space doing very little to ease your nerves. Satoru could only hear the choked whines that left you, and he was on his feet, captured with instant worry. 

��Baby, talk to me. I need to know you’re okay. Tell me what happened. Where are you?”

“T-The…” you stammered, struggling to get it out.

“Deep breaths, pretty. Breathe.”

You gulped, knocking your head back against the wood, taking a moment to release a few sharp breaths. “The camp,” you managed to whimper. 

“You’re still there?” he asked, almost incredulously. “Did something happen? Were the curses higher grades than you were told? I’m on my way right now.”

“No, i-it’s,” you shook, pressing your phone to your forehead. “It’s- a s-spider…”

There was a pause as Satoru processed what you were saying. “A spider?” he repeated. “What do you mean?”

“The last curse,” you exhaled. “It’s a spider, Toru, it looks like a damn big ass spider,” you rambled. “I’m so scared, I'm sorry, please come help me.”

“Oh, baby,” he sighed. “I’m coming, don’t worry. Stay where you are, I’ll find you.”

You nodded rapidly, scrunching your face as tears pricked your eyes. “M-kay.”

You tucked your phone away and within exactly two seconds, you heard a whooshing sound from outside, followed by the screech of the curse. You heard its legs clatter along the walls once more before another tormented, animalistic cry, and then there was nothing. 

You waited silently, hugging your knees to your chest as footsteps ascended. “(Y/n)?!” you heard Satoru’s voice through the walls, and your shoulders slumped with alleviation. You heard the door to the room open and you slowly reached up to the closet door handle, creaking it open to peer outside.

There, you saw your boyfriend standing in the doorway, gaze finally landing on you beneath his blindfold. The moment he saw you, he dropped his arms, pained by the sight of you curled up in hiding out of fear. “(Y/n),” his gentle voice breathed out as he stepped further into the room, extending his arms in that same manner he always did when comforting you.

The second you saw the motion, you were breaking. The reality of your weakness came crashing down on you, and your lips wobbled as you climbed out of the closet and fell into his warm embrace. You shook against him, embarrassed, petrified. You were the partner of the strongest sorcerer of the modern age, and this was what you were. Powerless at the will of a low grade curse.

“It’s alright, baby, I’m here. Please don’t cry, pretty. It’s okay, I got you,” he murmured against your temple, pressing his soft lips to it then to the crown of your head as you buried your face in his chest. 

“Satoru,” you sniffled into him, clinging to the fabric of his black suit as he wrapped you into his warmth.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” 

“I-Is it gone?”

“Yeah, baby. I got rid of it. It’s all gone, don’t worry,” he whispered. He hated seeing you like this. Normally when you faced spiders, the interaction was far more lighthearted. You would screech, sure, but you had always recovered fairly quickly after he had killed one. Granted, you had never encountered a spider as big as the one that you just saw, but Satoru was aching upon  witnessing how rattled you were by this thing. “You got the rest of them, baby. You did so good, you know that? My strong girl.”

He was so loving with his praise as he eased you down from your high, rubbing your hair and pressing his palm to your waist, letting you know that you were safe with him. 

“M’sorry,” you mumbled into him and he looked down, pulling away slightly to hear you better and to get a look at your face. He tilted your chin up so that you could look at him, your eyes glossy and your brows pinched.

“What are you sorry for, pretty?” he asked you genuinely, heart clenching as he smoothed his thumb over your flushed cheek. 

“Cause,” you sniffed again. “I should’ve been able to handle this. It’s so stupid. I dragged you here to get rid of something so small.”

“Hey,” he said with firm tenderness, holding your cheek so that your eyes stayed on his. “Don’t do that.”

“B-But, I should be able to-”

“Stop. I won’t listen to you beat on yourself for being afraid,” he shook his head. “You’re so strong, (Y/n). You always have been, but we all have our weaknesses and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Says you,” you muttered, guilt catching your eyes. “You’re the strongest.”

“And you know better than anyone that that’s just a title,” Satoru said earnestly. “Yes there’s truth to it, but none of that takes away from the things that keep me up at night. Just like your grade doesn’t take away your fears.”

He traced the curve of your jaw softly, lifting his free hand to remove his blindfold and tuck it into his pocket. You watched as his white hair fell over his face and his sapphire eyes washed over you, displaying his loving, concerned, understanding gaze. 

“But that doesn’t mean we’re not strong. It’s okay to be scared as long as you know I’m here to help you, and as long as I know you’re here to help me.”

You could feel a lump building in your throat as he gazed at you and he curled his brows, jutting out his bottom lip slightly. 

“Don’t look at me like that, princess, you’ll make me cry,” he said, catching your face in both of his large palms as your hands moved to delicately hold his wrists. “C’mere, baby,” he whispered, drawing your forehead to his lips. The sorcerer then kissed the bridge of your nose and the edge of your brow before letting you fall back into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his torso as he held you close.

You melted into him and closed your eyes. “Love you, Satoru,” you murmured into him.

He kissed your head again, resting his cheek atop you. “I love you, too, (Y/n). Let’s get you home and all cleaned up, yeah?”

You nodded against him, thankful to the universe that the man you loved made being vulnerable feel like a gentle, welcoming, consuming form of unconditional love. 

But, fuck, did you hate spiders.

[icaruspendragon]

I dropped out of college at the end of my last semester because according to my therapist dalton i'm "hard-wired for self-destruction," because I have control issues. early on I somehow managed to convince myself that I couldn't be subject to the future's uncertainty if there is no future that requires relinquishing control or whatever.

anyway. it's four years later and I have two and a half years of therapy with a trauma specialist under my belt. and in two weeks time I'm being incredibly brave and going back to finish my degree.

I'm sure some of you may be wondering, "what's your degree in?"

english literature and professional writing.

and of course the people in my personal life are proud of me for going back. but a lot of them also think it's kinda funny, too.

and it's not like they think it's funny in a mean way or anything. they think it's a bit funny because in march of 2023 I wrote and released a silly little book. a poetry collection about love, grief, searching, sacrifice, absolution, and what lies in between.

the book is called lazarus rises (amongst other things) and was created because I watched season four episode one of hit cw show supernatural, "lazarus rising" a few too many times and then decided to get real weird with it.

the book itself isn't why some folks think me going back is funny. it's because my silly little book is a bestseller.

I'm a college-dropout-turned-bestselling-author-turned-college-student-once-more.

like this situation is literally a fanfic au in the making, right? and as a lover of both a silly au and tomfuckery, I've decided I'm not gonna mention it. as a lover of stories and literal bestselling author, I cannot in good faith do anything other than keep it a secret.

who am I to deny someone a "my life is a fanfic" moment?

I have no choice but to sit back and see what happens.

and boy am I excited to see what happens