#i think i've just been too much of a perfectionist

[sysig]

i want to go on a big and elaborate date with papyrus SPECIFICALLY bc of the way u draw him bc he’s so bbg cutie patootie

PapyrACE 💚💜 Happy Valentine's Day!

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[sashayed]

i've been making a lot of bad art lately which is one of the world's most healing activities but if you have perfectionist tendencies you really have to commit to volume (if you make ONE bad painting it's just a bad painting whereas if you make 20 it's a meditative practice!). unfortunately we live in a one bedroom apartment and now we have to commit a significant portion of our storage to bad paintings. i would recycle them but unfortunately i need spare bad paintings to weave together into bad papercraft!!

anyway so i decided to move my bad artmaking into a new, smaller sphere and make bad linocuts. and let me tell you. if you are trying to get past thinking "my art should be good," linocut is a wonderful teacher. everything can be going great and then you exert slightly too much palm pressure and WHOOPS! sliced the face off. luckily the craft is so niche that negative self-talk can't really stick to it. i'll think something like "everybody else's linocuts are perfect. nobody else fucked up their linocut of a hot lady sphinx." and this is such a patently bananas sentence that i can simply laugh fondly at it and continue hacking away at my little rubber square. recommend

[noxtivagus]

reading some short stories for literature rn n i'm just. in awe of life.

[let-roman-bite-someone]

i know i've said this before but i'm so tired of people acting like Patton is the general embodiment of morality. as if he is the personification of the legal justice system and everything he does must be good and fair™.

folks, Patton is Thomas's morality. remember what Virgil said in the Q&A episode?

this applies to all of the sides. every single one of them.

Remus wouldn't be the same for everyone, different people have different types of intrusive thoughts. Logan wouldn't be the same for everyone, different people have had different levels of education, different forms of intelligence and different applications of logic.

but the funny thing is, i never see people criticize the other sides for being too representative of their title. they don't reprimand Virgil for making Thomas anxious because that's his job. they don't bash Roman for being a perfectionist. but for some reason, people expect Patton to be a saint who does no wrong.

it's emphasized so clearly in multiple episodes that the sides are the result of Thomas's upbringing specifically. Patton is simply the moral code that Thomas's parents and on a larger scale, society, had taught him.

“Patton was so accepting of Virgil but he couldn't accept Remus or Janus!”

yeah. because it's easier to deal with anxiety than it is to deal with intrusive thoughts. don't get me wrong, anxiety is definitely a serious issue. but Thomas's anxiety never went directly against his morals, if anything, Virgil's perspective aligned very much with Patton's. being anxious about say embarrassing yourself in public or not getting your work done in time is not as morally concerning as having thoughts about murdering your brother.

but Thomas, like many of us, grew up with no one to tell him what intrusive thoughts are or how to deal with them. when Patton was chastising Thomas for having these thoughts, that's just Thomas beating himself up over something he can't control.

the same goes for Janus. Patton had a hard time accepting Janus because Thomas had learned to always be selfless since when he was younger, and Janus was challenging that point of view. when Patton was pushing Thomas to be selfless, that's just Thomas pushing himself and feeling guilty at the thought of focusing on his own needs.

i feel like people think that Patton is actually Thomas's father figure or something. i understand if he reminds you of someone toxic in your life and it can be uncomfortable to watch. but while it's good to relate to the media you are consuming, it's also important to view things in context.

Patton is not a person, he's not an individual who has the freewill to do what he wants. he is only Thomas's morality and what his morals are heavily depends on what Thomas was taught and how he was raised.

Patton cannot control the morals that Thomas had learned. he can only try to implement them in Thomas's life and unless Thomas himself decides to unlearn some of the unhealthy ideals that he has internalized, Patton cannot go against his nature. he can only do what he has been programmed to do, with the knowledge that he has.

[the-applepi]

Pretty boy doodle

hey uh, it's been a minute.

It's not like I stopped making art or fell out of love with haikyuu (god, no, my autism could never). I've just had the pleasure of working on other projects, and for once I'm not just making art for myself and y'all. I've become much less of a perfectionist too, I think, and I'm actually okay with sharing some of my "unpolished" work... I think.

I think I'll even get to watch the movie with friends (cool) :)

Thanks for sticking around

[beautyconsumer]

(I see you've redone your blog again) but anyway JayGrant is sooooo the friends that make a marriage pact as kids. And Jason thinks it's a joke but Grant is SO serious. 20 years later Grant breaks into Jason's apartment and is like "so I've noticed you're not yet wed-" and Jason is like "I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD WHAT THE FUCK!" And Grant is like "Irrelevant. I need you to update your hand measurements to get the ring resized."

I did! I want it to represent what's going on on this little corner of Tumblr of mine hehe thanks for noticing!

Also!!! ASASGDJFG "I need you to update your hand measurements to get the ring resized." Meaning he already has a ring and has been constantly measuring Jason's hand throughout their childhood/teenage years, lmaoo I imagine Jason sitting there while Grant measures his hand going "lol you still on that?" While Grant very much is.

Jason being pulled the uno reverse card for once and being in the other end of "I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD WHAT THE FUCK!" is so freaking funny.

Jason is still reeling on the fact that Grant came back at all, cause he had given hope he would. Jason sees his own resurrection as a curse so seeing Grant reviving gives him a new perspective and of course Grant goes, "We're soulmates, actually."

And Jason kind of believes him. Wants to believe him too.

Jason is —other than surprised Grant came back at all— is like "You meant it???"

Because he's on board, HEAVILY so, because he gets to marry the first crush he ever had, the very hetero guy who would mess around for shits and giggles, and make him flustered and red faced every time he'd throw hypotheticals at him: "I would treat you better than anyone else", "If you married me we'd never spend our nights sleeping"

All of this is especially funny immediately after Grant's resurrection, because Grant is fully convinced he came back for that one reason (it's actually way deeper than that but his obsessive streak is not gonna wind down for a while.)

Grant goes over the top with everything, the ring, the weeding, the preparations, his rich kid upbringing along his entitlement and hedonistic nature (that only amplified when he came back from dead) makes him a nightmare for anyone who gets on his way of making the Wedding anything less than perfect. This also goes along with me headcanoning him as a perfectionist (having your parents criticizing your shit since ever will do that to ya) bridezilla Grant says who lmao

And if we're going with the family dynamics...

Adeline Kane clutches her chest and almost has a heart attack because she finds out her son is alive Through a freaking Weeding Invitation.

Joey as well and his brain is balancing from wanting to beat the shit out his brother for making them go through this to go hug him and demand to be his best man.

Respawn, Alex, Rose and Wintergreen are invited as well, if only to cement the fact that Slade is very much not invited. He still shows up, though.

Jade is the bridesmaid, or best woman, or however it is. Grant shows up one day and is like "Bitch I'm getting married, you're the bridesmaid," she sighs, looks at his choice of a husband, sighs even more heavily and then they go shopping for the wedding.

The batfam on the other hand, Bruce and Dick are the ones who are having the hardest time.

Bruce is happy at first that Jason is settling and getting married, but then—

"Married to who?!"

Dick is sweating bullets, "Jason, you're still young, you don't have to settle for this one just yet!"

"No, I gotta."

Babs walks him through acceptance. When he recovers he drops Jason hints (as in, big passive aggressive hints) of him being the best man.

Jason lets him in tension for a while, at least until he decides who's gonna be the best man because he's not the first one to not-ask.

Meanwhile Steph and Tim pipe in, "can we plan your bachelor party?"

Damian is happy he gets to spend time and meet his half brother's family, (Respawn) and Jason will be there too I guess.

Jason is very much shoving in their faces, "I'm getting married before any of you losers."

Talia and Harvey are invited as well much to Bruce's dismay.

Bruce gets surprisingly along and is very supportive with Grant while he's in one of his bridezilla episodes because yes, Grant is right: Jason’s wedding deserves the best of the best.

Grant gets very intense about it too, hence, mark Jason down as scared and horny.

Slade, on the other hand, gets whiplash because Addie was just like that on their wedding.

[junvibing]

Artfully Yours

pairing: art major renjun! x fem!reader; youtuber!renjun

warnings: lots of art and ramen, renjun is very much in love, college

summary: Renjun wants to get you something special for your birthday. He has two problems though: 1. there's not much time left, 2. he's a perfectionist. But hey, at least Chenle gave him the perfect idea. Now, he only has to finish in time and hope you'll love it.

wc: 12.5k

a/n: I've been working on this on and off for around a year lol. Anyways I really like it and I hope you do too! Leave me feedback haha this is my first long fanfic and honestly it's special to me :') <3

song recommendation: Like we just met - nct dream

credit for art inspo: matlagesilke3 on pinterest

The second Renjun got home, he prepared to spend the rest of the day working on a drawing. Since it's due for tomorrow's Drawing II class, he really needs to put his energy into finishing it today. His art projects are often accompanied with him staying up into the nights to perfect them. Sometimes while painting his thoughts drift away and he starts thinking about other things. This tendency surely adds to him staying up late but for today he hopes he’ll be able to finish before midnight. That’s why Renjun starts gathering his materials quickly before sitting down at his desk. His room is a little messy but college is stressful and an art major is no exception. Especially since he is somewhat of a perfectionist but he couldn’t imagine studying anything else other than art. For as long as Renjun can remember, he was always interested in it. The way colors dance on the paper, the way they blend into each other or how he can create anything he wants and get lost in the process - he just loves it. One of his favorite things is to try out different art mediums and see how they work, how comfortable he could get with them and if he’ll resort back to them in the future. Over the years, he discovered that he loves painting with oil paints and watercolors the most as they bring him great joy and the best results. Both mediums can be tricky at the beginning and it wasn’t much different for him when he started out but proper practice helped a lot. However, Renjun also enjoys drawing on his tablet, which is especially useful if he wants to post his work online. 

In his opinion, art is meant to be shared and what better way is there to reach lots of people than sharing it online? That's why he had started to post his art on Twitter when he was still in middle school. Whenever someone retweeted his art, he felt so elated, it pushed him to continue sharing his work. In high school he even started exploring with posting videos on YouTube, all related to art of course. Jisung, his classmate and one of his best friends, had encouraged him to just go for it and soon enough his other friends had joined in. Thinking back to his very first YouTube video, Renjun lets out a chuckle. Dang, I was so nervous. Shaking his head, he continues sketching. The thing is he never used to show his face on Twitter, it was all about his art and creativity but with the encouraging words of Jisung and his other friends, he dared to show his face on YouTube, alongside his art of course. The first video Renjun ever posted was of him drawing Moomin fan art. Over the years, his channel actually gained quite a bit of attraction and while in high school, he would often daydream about making money with his artwork even though he knew his parents wouldn’t really support him in pursuing such a career. As far as Renjun knew, his parents wanted him to get a “real” career. But he spent most of his free time either with his friends or sketching, drawing and painting. 

I still do that. Renjun sits at his desk, room dimly lit and pencil in his right hand. But y/n’s in the picture as well now. He grew up with art and it accompanied him throughout his ups and downs. He loves being creative, that’s why he had decided to go through with applying for a fine arts major when the time came around. However, his parent’s opinion and support was important to him. So at the time, he had a serious talk with them. Renjun knew they only had his best interest at heart. Naturally, they want him to be successful in life and it’s important to his parents that their only child has a good and comfortable life. They imagined for him to pursue a high paying, high status job like being a lawyer. His parents couldn’t picture how studying art would provide him with something like that. To them, pursuing an art career was too unstable, too risky. But Renjun managed to show them different ways in how he actually could be successful with it. He would do internships, could go into graphic design, could become an illustrator or go as far as to become an art instructor. There are different paths he would be able to take that would pay him well and hearing that eventually convinced his parents. Of course, Renjun had been overjoyed about that. He still is actually. All his life, art was one of the things that brought him the most happiness and his parents supported him in pursuing it as a career. What else could he wish for?

Turns out, there really was something else he could have wished for. He only knew it after you entered his life though. Renjun occasionally thinks back to how you two met. Out of nowhere, his mind sometimes drifts to the first time he saw you. Just like right now. The window in his room lets little light shine through, the sun is almost fully set at this point and the only other light source is the lamp on his desk, illuminating a bottle of milk and a few pieces of fruit. Renjun’s project for tomorrow is a still life, an art depiction of inanimate objects. It is pretty normal for him to drift off when he was monotonously sketching away, which is exactly what he is doing right now. His pen glides easily on the paper in front of him while he thinks back to his second semester. Renjun never really used to be a person who obsessed over relationships. His mind was filled with other things like ideas for art videos. In fact, he actually used to be the type who didn’t believe in love at first sight, which Jaemin thought was crazy by the way. But you kinda proved Renjun wrong. 

He still remembers the day clearly. It was fall and Mark invited you to come hang out with the boys. The dreamies, as Haechan likes to call their friend group, were still great friends even if they didn’t see each other everyday like they did back in high school. Mark actually mentioned your name before, it wasn’t your first time hanging out with the boys either but the few times you were with them, Renjun couldn’t make it, so he only officially met you in his second semester. Crazy, almost two and a half years ago. He can still remember exactly how he reacted to seeing you for the first time. The second Renjun’s eyes landed on you, the things and people around him somehow were moving in slow motion. To say he was intrigued by you would’ve been an understatement. You looked so mesmerizing, smiling at whatever Jisung was saying while the evening sun hit your face in the most beautiful way. Renjun felt like he was looking at the prettiest painting he ever laid his eyes on. All the beautiful, intricate art he saw over the years didn't compare to you and he immediately wanted to introduce himself. From that day onwards you joined his dear collection of things he loves to draw the most. 

It actually didn’t take long for Renjun to ask you out as there was no way he would be able to let you slip through his fingers. Over the years, your relationship has been going strong. Just like art you've become a constant in Renjun’s life that he wishes to never lose. With time, he even introduced you on his YouTube channel. It took a little convincing but after a while you were able to put your shyness away and join him in a vlog. Renjun smiles, thinking back to your first video together. Back then, he had decided to participate in the challenge of drawing under a blue light and you tagged along in his vlog at the beginning. It was fun for both of you and Renjun’s subscribers enjoyed seeing you guys together. The comments were flooded with how cute the two of you were and requests for you to join him more on his channel. But for today, Renjun's plans don’t include any art challenge. It’s time to finish this still life. He needs the day tomorrow for something else, something more important. 

The next day, with a fresh mind and his still life finished, Renjun prepares for a different project. There is still a bit of time left before he needs to get to class, so he wants to use it to start before it's time to turn in his still life. Renjun has something special planned for you. Your birthday is just around the corner and he had been unsure on what to get you. Last year he got you a beautiful necklace with a butterfly charm. “To show you my appreciation” is what he had said when putting it on you. Renjun never wanted to stop feeling warm and fuzzy inside when he was with you. For this year’s gift, he was thinking about decor for your dorm room since you moved recently. Yet for some reason, whenever he was strolling through stores, keeping an eye out for a suitable gift, he felt like nothing fit perfectly. You don’t really need a new rug or pillows. Your room is already decorated with various plants. Just getting you a few scented candles like Mark suggested was too plain. Getting a mug was out of the question as it’s not special enough for you. Not to mention a mug technically isn’t decor. Although it could be. However, Renjun wanted to get you something special, something that shows he put thought into it and when speaking to Chenle about it the other day, he suggested the perfect idea: painting you a picture. 

Naturally, Renjun drew small pictures for you over the course of your relationship and you cherished every single one of it but he never created a proper painting for you. Almost outrageous, how come he never did that for his girlfriend? Even Jeno did it at some point for his girlfriend. Or tried at least. Nevertheless, she loved it and Renjun still remembers your reaction actually. You and her go way back, having met during middle school. Naturally, you only ever wished the best for your best friend. So of course, seeing her that happy about Jeno’s gift, had put a smile on your face. You even laughed a little, seeing her show it off to the others. Thinking back, that should’ve been Renjun’s first clue to paint you something for your birthday. But at least he came around now, even if it is a little overdue. As soon as he had decided to paint you something to put on your wall, he had brainstormed for ideas. His still life project got in the way so he couldn’t start earlier but today is finally the day he can turn his draft for your gift into the beginnings of a painting. Last week, Renjun sat down and thought about what he wanted to paint for you and since the painting is supposed to fit your room well, he had decided to go with an enchanted forest. He feels like it would complement the various plants in your room nicely. A dark forest with colorful sparks throughout would be the perfect eye catcher for your plain white dorm wall. He had decided to draw two particular trees to accentuate the centerpiece of his painting: a magical path that’s curving to the right. Renjun feels very confident about the idea, so much so that he had decided to film a YouTube video around it: “Painting for my gf’s birthday”, where he documents the process of his painting and captures your reaction to the present. 

That’s why he sits in his chair right now, camera on his desk and films himself. His subscribers will surely enjoy seeing this. “Hi painters, so my girlfriend’s bday is just around the corner and I’ve been struggling quite a bit with finding a gift. I can’t just get her an ordinary gift, you know me. So I was thinking and searching and man almost gave up but my friend literally saved the day.“ Renjun salutes to the camera. “谢了, 哥们.“ ”So anyway, I decided to go with his idea of painting for her, hence this video. I was brainstorming in advance and already did a vague sketch of my idea.“ Renjun holds his sketchbook into the camera so his viewers can see the enchanted forest. “You can see it’s supposed to be a forest. I wanna add different colored sparks to it and make the path here a blueish white to give it a fairy, enchanted type of feel.” Renjun traced the path with his finger and then mentioned two particular trees. “The big trees in the front that bend over and form a heart accentuate the magical path nicely. I also added a little pond. I really like it and I think y/n will like it as well.” Renjun adjusts the camera to show his canvas and him. For the next thirty minutes, he hunches over his desk, sketching his draft carefully onto the canvas. Since this is supposed to be the centerpiece of your wall, Renjun bought a big canvas last week. It is supposed to be an eye-catcher after all. As the time passes and he finishes sketching, he stands up to look at his work. “Okay that’s good enough.” Renjun looks into the camera. “I’ll stop for now cause I have class in about forty minutes. But I’ll see you later tonight when I continue. Y/n’s bday is literally in 9 days and you know how it goes with oil paints, long drying times. So I need it to be done one day before her bday, meaning there’s no time to slack off.” Renjun takes the camera into his hand and smiles before moving his hand in front of the lens. “Only the best for my babe.” 

Hours later, Renjun is setting up his camera again. After his last class for today, art history, he got some lunch with the boys in the dining hall. Mark and Haechan had class though, so the group wasn’t complete. The boys catched up a little but Renjun didn’t want to spend too much time eating. There was still a project awaiting him at home after all. That’s why he only had a small chicken salad. Jaemin talked about how his professor has been kicking his butt with reading assignments for class and to be fair, Renjun could understand. There was just something unpleasant about having to read two 15 page papers about the causes and consequences of the French revolution. But Jaemin chose to major in history education. Although Renjun knows it’s not Jaemin's fault for having an unpleasant professor. Chenle, however, hadn’t been that interested in his friend’s distress. “Glad I don’t have to deal with that”, is what he had said. “Yeah, you need to deal with statistical models dude, gross” Jaemin really doesn’t like math. But, the boys were all able to agree that college workload is a lot, whether one studies education or economics. “Chill guys”, Jeno had taken a bite of his pizza slice, “Jun, how’s it going with y/n’s gift?” Well, Renjun still has lots to do, which is why he had used that opportunity to briefly explain his progress and bid his friends goodbye to go straight to his dorm.

“I’m back, people. I turned in a project and I had art history today which wasn’t so great. It has the touch of being boring sometimes but it’s okay, let‘s continue.” Renjun turns his camera to show the sketch he made earlier today. “This is what we’re working with. It’s time to bring some color into this. I don’t wanna waste much time, so let’s begin.” He pulls his easel out and places the canvas on it. The camera is pointing at him and the canvas again but this time he is standing in the middle of his room. After opening a window, he starts with mixing light gray and dark brown. Oil paints don’t have the nicest smell, so it’s good to have a window or two open while painting. This way, Renjun can maximize the time he is able to paint before getting a headache. “Since I don’t have much time for this painting, I’ll use a fast drying medium. Hopefully this way the painting will be dry on time for y/n’s bday.” Renjun starts with a medium sized brush to paint a thin layer of light gray on the middle of his canvas, where fog would later shine through the trees. The next step is to use brown to block in the general shape of the trees. The two bend trees forming a heart take up quite a bit of space on the left and right side of his canvas. Later on, he wants to spend time on the details to tie everything in. Renjun, like most artists, finds it better to start with the general shape of things and work himself up to the smaller, more detailed parts of a painting. 

After almost two hours of painting, he takes a small break to get a snack. I should still have a pack of ramen left somewhere. Of course, only if his roommate Jay didn’t eat it. After locating the ramen and preparing it quickly, Renjun places his camera in front of him. “As you can see, I took a break guys. I’m sitting in the kitchen right now since I don’t want to expose myself to the smell of the paint unnecessarily. I only have a little bit of the background left. So, I think I should be able to finish in about twenty minutes or so.” Renjun turns his camera off to continue eating. Conveniently enough for him, you video call him while he's still eating. So, he wasn’t rushed to get out of his room to hide his painting from you. Renjun answers your call while positioning his phone against the fruit bowl on the table. “Hi babe, hold up.” After his phone is stable, he smiles at you. “How was your day?” Seeing Renjun after a long day makes you sigh and smile at him. You just wanted to see him and hear his voice for a while to feel better. “Exhausting, I had so much class today and work was a mess.” You pout. You work at a coffee shop downtown a few days a week to save up some money. Sadly, more often than not, you have to deal with difficult customers. “I’m sorry to hear that, love. Did you just get home?” You nod. It is way past nine in the evening and you were ready to go to sleep in a bit, ideally with Renjun cuddling you but that won’t happen today. “Jun, how come you’re eating at this hour?” You know he doesn’t usually eat this late as he doesn’t like to go to bed with a full stomach. Renjun quickly tries to come up with a plausible answer. He doesn’t want to tell you that he spent a good portion of the day painting your gift. “I had a bit of a light lunch today, went out with the boys but didn’t eat too much.” That technically wasn’t a lie either. During lunch he was eager to go back home to paint your gift but the boys insisted he ate at least something before spending hours on it. Renjun and you spend the next ten minutes talking, before he sents you a kiss through the camera and you hang up for the night. 

After washing his bowl, he goes back to his room. He could feel a headache approaching but was determined to finish the background today. Soon enough, around thirty minutes later, Renjun picks up his camera again. “I’m finished with the background guys. This is how it looks so far.” He turns the camera to show the canvas in detail and zooms in a little. At this point, it looks like a simple foggy forest with tall, leafless trees. Renjun will worry about the details later, for now this is good enough. “Quite simple but that’s fine for today. Hopefully it’ll be dry by tomorrow so I can continue after classes. See you then.” Renjun quickly changes into his pajamas and brushes his teeth to go to bed but not before making sure to keep his window open. 

Wednesday morning comes around and Renjun wakes up in his chilly room. He doesn’t mind it that much since he needs to get to class soon anyway. His Wednesdays are usually packed with classes. But thankfully, they are ones he mostly enjoys, Ceramics, Contemporary Art, Digital Media and lastly Painting II. After quickly eating breakfast and getting dressed, he was ready to start the day. Today, Renjun and you are actually planning to get lunch together. Wednesdays and Fridays were set dates where you would either hang out in between classes and snack on a few things or eat lunch together. Renjun loves doing small, simple things with you like snacking on sandwiches together. Since you’ve been busy lately with your part time job at the coffee shop, he hasn’t been able to spend lots of time with you. He made an effort to show up at your workplace every other day or so but seeing you for fifteen minutes just wasn’t enough, which is why he looked forward to today. As soon as his fourth class finishes, he makes a beeline to the door. 

You were supposed to meet next to the library and just as agreed he sees you standing there, smiling down at your phone. You’re wearing one of his hoodies and jeans, quite simple but you still manage to look great. As if you had a feeling he was coming your way, you look up. Renjun kisses your cheek, “Hi love, missed you.” He holds out his hand for you. Putting your hand in his, you start walking towards a convenience store nearby campus. “Junnie, how was class? Did you manage to finish your charcoal drawing from last week?” A few weeks ago in Painting II, Renjun's professor introduced the topic of shading with paint. His professor gave a deadline of one week to turn in a small charcoal drawing and today they had the first hour of class to finish it. The assignment was only intented to be a supplementary technique though. It would help to understand contrast and value as a basis for shading with paint. Charcoal isn’t a medium Renjun uses often, so he chose a somewhat simple object to draw, a vase full of your favorite flowers, tulips. “Yeah, I managed to finish it within the last ten minutes. The shading was a little tricky though. I’m not too satisfied with it but you know my perfectionist self.” Renjun smiles sheepishly. You know he takes his art seriously and has a tendency to focus a little too much on the details. Sometimes he would ask you to have a look at this work since your input helped him and over time he learned that looking at his art with a fresh set of eyes always worked. Nevertheless, in your opinion, he always manages to create something that was beautifully executed.

On the way to the supermarket you tell him about your day, how boring class was and how your professor gave you tons of reading material for the next class. Renjun knows you have a thing for reading, hence your English literature major but he never understood how you were able to survive reading so much for your degree. He enjoys reading from time to time but having to read pages upon pages of who knows how old literature and analyzing it all in class never had much appeal to him. Nevertheless, he listens attentively to you and after you both get some snacks that Renjun kindly carries, you walk back to campus to your favorite spot near the economics department. Just a few minutes away from the main building were a few benches looking out at the gardening club’s flower field. You and Renjun love to sit on one of them and enjoy the beauty of different flowers together. Thankfully, one of the benches isn’t occupied so you both can sit down and enjoy your break together. Every year, the gardening club arranges their flowers in different themes. A few months ago in summer the theme was “beach sun set”. For this, their flower field basically consisted of flowers in three colors: blue, orange and yellow. Since the season has already changed, a new theme is in place at the moment. This winter, the gardening club focussed on winter themed food by using white and red roses arranged in a way that looked like a candy cane and so on. Renjun likes the idea of different themes, it was nice to see the club have fun with being creative. In a way they're creating their own art. 

An hour later, Renjun walks you to your next class and squeezes your hand lovingly before making his way home. He is happy that he got to spend some quality time with you, even if it wasn’t very long. While walking back, he is mentally preparing a list of what he needs to paint next for your gift. Since the background was finished and hopefully dry, the next step would be to go into more detail by giving the trees more depth, properly outlining their roots and branches. Renjun also wants to add more color accents to the trees by painting green and slightly bluish leaves. He wants to mimic moon light shining through the forest. It would cast onto the leaves of the trees and give them a light blue tint. As soon as Renjun arrives home, he continues filming his painting process. “Hi painters, I’m back for the next round. Right now it's Wednesday afternoon, meaning I have exactly 6 days left for this painting to finish, so it can still dry in time. Let's go!” The next hours of Renjun’s day consisted of his open window, the smell of oil paints and color on his fingers. At one point, he did actually take a small break to eat, even his roommate Jay made an appearance. Renjun gets along just fine with him but both prefer to stay in their respective rooms, meaning they don't see each other often. He literally is just his roommate, still a cool guy though. One time Jay even asked him for some art advice. Renjun didn't really imagine him to be the type of guy to be interested in art, but turns out he wanted to try out something new. Of course, Renjun was happy to help and advise. Maybe this time for his painting he would ask Jay for his opinion. 

Thursday flew by him it seemed. Renjun got in and out of class, worked on another assignment and met up with the dreamies. He didn’t continue to paint on the canvas because it was still too wet. Time is worrying him a little bit since the paint takes longer to dry than he likes and he still needs to do quite a bit. But he'll push through. Renjun is determined to finish your gift one day before your birthday and there's no way he'll give you an unfinished painting.

The next day, your Friday lunch break falls short because of an essay you have to finish. However, this gives Renjun more time to perfect his painting for you, which he feels like he really needs. He spent so much time working on it, yet he still isn’t satisfied with the outcome. In fact, he feels like the painting was nowhere near being finished in time. There is something about the way he placed the sparks that he doesn't like. The thing is, he can’t really pinpoint why exactly he doesn't like it. They just aren't really “flying” in the air well enough. Some are too close together, others too far apart. In a way it doesn't look natural enough, but that in itself doesn't make any sense, cause no normal forest has such sparks flying through it. Renjun was expecting them to deepen the magical feeling of the forest, but for some reason he couldn’t portray that feeling onto the canvas in a satisfactory way. Regardless, a few spots shouldn't be enough to give him the feeling of not liking the placement of the sparks overall, right?

To be frank, he is very frustrated. So, at one point he decides to vent to his camera. “I know I’m too nitpicky. But I just want it to look perfect for y/n. I also know she will like my painting regardless. Heck, she probably wouldn’t mind if I doodled her something as a present. But I want it to be deserving of being in her room. I want her to love my painting and me to like it as well.” Renjun wipes a hand down his face. “Maybe I’ve been on this for too long. It’s already past 7 pm and I’ve been working on this painting since I ate lunch. Or maybe time is just stressing me. There are only a few days left and I still need to work on the details.” Renjun decides he needs a break, a fresh breath of air. Maybe the oil paint smell is messing too much with his ability to create. Whatever the case is, he decides to go by your workplace and see you. Your smile would definitely help him feel better. 

As soon as you see Renjun walking through the door of the coffee shop, you have a smile on your face. Your work day is slowly coming to an end and even though most customers today weren’t that difficult to handle, working a long shift naturally tires your body out, which is why it's a pleasant surprise to see your boyfriend. “Junnie, what are you doing here?” Seeing you standing behind the counter smiling at him, gives Renjun a warm and comfy feeling. It was like all of his worries evaporated into thin air as soon as your beautiful face smiled up at him. “Hi love, came to see you. I needed a fresh breath of air.” You walk around the counter to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, the rag still in your left hand. As expected, his insides are feeling fuzzy again.

You’ve always had that effect on him. Renjun didn’t really mind holding your hand in public or you leaning on him, but kisses, even if only on the cheek, are something intimate to him, so he only really initiates them in public if he really misses you. Otherwise they are kept for when you two are in private. “Trouble with painting again?” Renjun smiles sheepishly. Of course, you would figure him out. But he doesn’t mind and fortunately, you don’t know what exactly he was painting. “Yeah, I think I’ve been on it for a bit too long. You and a nice cup of tea will surely help.” Renjun isn’t a big fan of coffee, he preferred drinking tea over coffee any day. Whenever he comes around the coffee shop you work at, he either orders tea or just some pastry to snack on, sometimes both if he feels like looking at you a little longer. Often Renjun thinks about how pretty you look and about how he could watch you for hours. He realizes that thought might be creepy but you didn’t mind when he told you about it one day. It’s him after all, not some stranger. 

You quickly wipe down the table before going behind the counter again to prepare his drink. Today, Renjun chose to drink lemon tea. Being the nice girlfriend that you are, you gave him a small cookie on the side as well. Sadly, he can’t spend much time talking to you as new customers come in. That‘s why he sits down at a table and enjoys his tea and the cookie. How nice it would be if we could just sit on my bed and talk. Or rather on her bed, can’t have her seeing the painting. Occasionally, he looks over to see you wiping down tables and you wink at him. He was right, a tea and you definitely help to calm his mind. Renjun spends about twenty minutes in the coffee shop before he gets up and gives you a sweet goodbye. It is time to return to the dorm and continue his painting.

For now, he plans to continue with a few details of trees. Maybe having a fresh look at the sparks tomorrow is a better idea. Not counting today, 5 days were left till your birthday, which meant he effectively has 2 to 3 days left to paint since oil paint, even with a quick drying medium, still needs comparatively long to dry. After working for about half an hour on the details of the trees in the back, Renjun feels a little better about his painting. He takes this as an incentive to end the day with a positive feeling and grabs his camera again. “Okay guys, I’m calling it quits for today. It’s about 8 pm already. I think it’s better to tackle the sparks tomorrow. ” Renjun quickly shows the current state of his painting before he turns off the camera. 

The next day is a Saturday, meaning Renjun has all day to paint and he wakes up with a good feeling. He quickly eats breakfast and immediately wants to get to painting, so he sets up his camera to further film his painting process. It’s time to focus on the sparks. The ones he already painted were in different colors, namely pink, yellow, blue and red. But looking at his canvas with a fresh set of eyes, he realizes they were not bright enough for his liking. They aren’t really sparkling. Maybe the feeling he got last evening of them not “flying” in the forest nicely was caused by that. He needs to paint in such a way that they look like they were actually sparkling. Renjun has the revelation that he needs to add highlights to the sparks. Adding highlights to them would ensure that the sparks stand out more against the forest, making them more interesting and giving the painting a more refined look. He likes that approach. Maybe he can even place the highlights in such a way that it would have the effect of letting single sparks look more apart from others. This way his problem of the placement of some sparks would be solved, at least to some extent. 

For the next hour Renjun works on adding enough highlights and blending around the sparks. He also adds a few more sparks to the forest. Taking a few steps back from his canvas, he regards the result. This time, Renjun definitely likes it a lot more. The sparks look nice against the dark forest and shine in different colors. It felt realistic and he was happy with the outcome so far. He grabs his camera, “Finally guys, I managed to paint the sparks in a way I’m satisfied with. I had the realization this morning that I needed to add highlights to them and I'm happy to report that it was a good idea.” Renjun shows his viewers the current state of his painting. “I’m thinking of continuing with the details of the two bent trees in the front. I only have a few days left to paint and I still need to work on the details of the pond.” Renjun puts his camera back on his desk again, before facing the canvas. These two trees still need leaves and defined roots. He wants to make them look like they are quite old.

Basically, Renjun spent the rest of his day painting, except for the occasional toilet and food break. After hours in front of his canvas, his head hurts. His bedroom is cold because of the opened window, yet he still feels the effects of the oil paint. Whatever. I need to continue at least a little bit more. At this point, the two trees forming a heart are finished. Renjun added a few bushes to the forest as well and moss around the pond. Since he had decided to make the path leading to the pond a blueish white, he worked on that as well. This way, it seems like the moon lights it up. Of course, he also needs to add highlights to the crown of the trees. He thinks about whether to make them a different color, but ultimately decides to go with the same blueish white since it ties in better with his concept of the moon shining down on the forest. Renjun wants to finish that part today, before calling it quits for tonight. It should take him under half an hour to finish this detail and then he can enjoy a bowl of ramen before going to bed.

The following day, Renjun can’t really continue working on his painting since it needs to dry, so he mainly spends the day working on his art history essay that is due for Tuesday’s class. He already had planned it ahead, which is why he had mainly focused on his painting for you yesterday. Since it needed to dry for him to continue, Renjun can use today for his assignment. He needs to write an essay about the way leadership and power gets depicted in art. For that he had to choose a picture to analyze and write about. Renjun knows he is pushing it a bit late but since he doesn’t plan to work on anything else today, he figures it’s fine. He’s sure that he can finish the assignment today and if not, he still has a bit of tomorrow left. It is only supposed to be four pages long anyway. How hard can that be, right? Well turns out a little harder than he had thought. Renjun spends around three hours in front of his laptop before he decides to take a break. I really should eat something. After all this writing his brain needs energy and a break. Standing up from his desk, he turns around and his gaze falls on the canvas in his room. Renjun inspects it carefully from a distance and actually likes the result. Of course, it still isn’t finished. He definitely needs to add a few more details. The bend trees need to look more interesting and realistic. A few more details on the trees in the back would be good. Maybe I also should add a few more sparks-– his finger twitches. There is nothing more that Renjun wants in this moment than to grab his brush and continue painting, perfecting your present. But right now is not the time. He shakes his head lightly. Still needs to dry. 

Trying to get his thoughts away from the painting, Renjun decides on what show to watch while he eats something. Surprisingly, he has been enjoying a Chinese drama you recommended lately, but maybe watching the next 40-minutes episode isn’t such a great idea with an unfinished essay sitting on his desk. So he decides to just watch a YouTube video. Twenty minutes later, Renjun sits at his desk again and continues with his essay. That’s basically how he spends his whole afternoon. Around 6 pm he is actually almost finished with the essay. That’s why he decides to get up and go into the kitchen to make some ramen. He knows that he ate a little too much ramen throughout the week but they are really just so convenient when he doesn't have much time to cook. 

However, on the way to the kitchen, his doorbell suddenly rings. Renjun isn’t expecting anyone, his roommate might have but Jay doesn’t come out of his room to open the door. So when the bell rings a second time, Renjun opens the door. To his surprise, it’s you. You stand there, smiling at him, dressed in an oversized jacket and plaid pajama pants, a small handbag on top of your right shoulder and a plastic bag in your left hand. As usual, you look cute and cozy but Renjun can’t really concentrate on that. He only stares at you. Why is she here? Did I miss something? And then it hits him. He curses in his head, you’re here for the movie night you both agreed on last week. Seems like amidst all the painting and college he forgot about it. Good going Renjun. You tilt your head a little to the side, “Baby, are you going to let me in?” Renjun’s mind immediately goes to your gift. Damn it, the painting’s still in my room! He can’t possibly let you see it. In panic, Renjun turns his head back, looking into the flat. He needs to come up with some kind of excuse right now, on the spot, “Love, babe, give me like 2 minutes okay, my room’s kinda messy”, he looks at you, his hand already resting on the door to close it. “Jun, you know I don’t care about that”, you step forward, laughing a little but he holds his ground. “No really, just give me like 5 minutes”, Renjun doesn’t give you any time to properly react and closes the door. 

Quickly jogging into his room, he looks around. He only needs to hide the canvas, his paints and brushes aren’t a problem. But where should he hide it? Behind the closet? No way, too risky. The kitchen, no it’s right next to the front door. And then it hits him. Jay! Carefully grabbing the canvas, Renjun quickly goes across the hall and knocks on his roommate’s door. “Listen dude, my girl’s just outside the door but I can’t have her see this painting. Can I please hide it in your room for a few hours?” Fortunately, Renjun and Jay get along well. “Oh yeah sure” Jay points to the corner next to his dresser, “you can put it there dude” Renjun quickly puts the painting down and thanks Jay like three times before he goes to get you. “Okay love, you can come in.” “Thank you for being so gracious, your highness” You jokingly bow down before entering, Renjun shakes his head, closes the door and grabs your hand. You do sometimes have this amusingly bizarre streak. “How come you suddenly felt the need to tidy up your room for me? Hiding something?”, you tease him. Renjun almost scratches his head. Surely, if he would’ve done that you would be more suspicious of him. “It’s just messy babe. I want you to be comfortable.” Humming, you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. It sure seems like he didn’t expect you to come over today though. “Did you forget our movie night, Junnie?” Renjun smiles apologetically and nods, “Sorry love, promise, next time I won’t forget.” He squeezes your hand. Renjun normally isn’t the person to forget your dates. Spending time with you is one of his favorite things to do but even he can sometimes forget. You don’t mind, he’s also just human. Besides, you know Renjun had a couple of deadlines lately. 

Entering his room, the familiar sight of art materials, a few soda cans and an easel greets you. Renjun keeps his room mostly tidy except for whenever exam season hits and he has to deal with many art projects at the same time. Renjun’s habit of spending too much on details leads him to making full use of the deadlines, which in return stresses him out so much that he doesn’t bother a lot with cleaning. To you that’s fine, you aren’t much different in that aspect. Besides, why add more stress to exams by worrying about whether your room is clean or not. You make your way to his bed and put your handbag down, your gaze finding the empty easel in the middle of his room. That usually means he's working on something. “Jun, what have you been working on?” Renjun’s gaze quickly follows yours. Dang, should've put that away! Okay, just say something. Quick! “Ahh love, you know I have a few projects due soon. I’ve been spending a lot of time painting.” Renjun sits down next to you, nodding as if he was trying to reassure himself that he wasn’t caught by you. But technically he didn’t lie. Quickly trying to change the subject, he grabs your plastic bag. Before coming over to Renjun’s place, you quickly got a few snacks at a convenience store. “No movie without snacks right? Oh and I got you some ramen as well, Jun.” He looks inside the plastic bag, it contains chips in two different flavors, some gummy bears, his favorite ramen and pretzel snacks. “Thank you love, I should still have some soda in the fridge for us.” Renjun stands up and takes a step in the direction of the door but halts as you grab his wrist. “Jun, can we prepare the ramen now? I’m actually quite hungry, I haven't had dinner yet.” You’re hoping he agrees as the last thing you ate today was just a piece of toast a couple of hours ago. After your eight hour shift at work today you worked a little on an assignment before buying the snacks for tonight. Renjun immediately agrees, laughing a little. “Sure, I’ve literally wanted to make myself some ramen before you rang the bell.”

After cooking the ramen and grabbing two soda cans, you’re sitting on Renjun’s bed while turns off the lights before he grabs his laptop. Since he knows how much you like to have a few scented candles lit up while watching a movie, Renjun also does that before sitting cross-legged next to you and putting his blanket over you both. Turning on the third Harry Potter movie, you cuddle up to him and enjoy the evening together. Three weeks ago, Renjun and you had decided to rewatch all HP movies and so far you both enjoyed it very much. It’s been years since the last time you watched them, so you figured doing it together would be fun. That’s why you’ve met up with Renjun once a week for movie night, snacking away your worries and college stress for at least the few hours that you spend together with him. Sitting together under the blanket and just spending time together with him is one of your favorite things to do. It doesn't matter if you watch a movie or drink tea together, you just enjoy spending time in Renjun’s arms. How can you not? Renjun is just so good to cuddle. That’s why you always end up putting your head on his shoulder, hugging him and it’s no different today. Your head is resting on his shoulder and his arm around you. 

From time to time Renjun gives your body a little squeeze and feeds you snacks. He also sneaks a few glances at you. Seeing you so comfortable around him, makes his insides feel warm. So cute. He might love you a little more every time he sees you like this. You aren’t wearing any makeup and aren’t dressed up, yet you manage to make him attracted to you nonetheless. There is just something so attractive about you being your true self around him, not caring about how you look in your pajamas or how much you snack. Suddenly, Renjun feels the urge to kiss you. If only you weren’t so focused on the movie, “My love”. You hum as an answer, eyes still glued on the laptop screen. “Look at me please.” You lift your head off his shoulder and Renjun just looks at you lovingly. While you slowly sit up, he can only think about how you really are the most beautiful woman he set his eyes on. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, he slowly leans in. Renjun believes there is nothing better in the world than moments like these. Moments where everything fades into the background and only you two seem to exist. Moments where he can be very close to you and his lips can meet yours in a loving and intimate way. Your lips are soft and smooth in such a way it feels like kissing the clouds. Your hand naturally finds its way into Renjun’s hair. His right hand cups your cheek while his lips move slowly against yours. His other hand rests on your waist and after a loving moment, Renjun tilts his head a little more to the side, deepening the kiss. His lips still taste a little of the ramen you two had earlier but you don’t mind. Kissing him is always great. In a sense, kissing him is like drinking a cup of hot cocoa on cold winter days. Renjun’s kisses give you comfort, warmth and a sense of belonging like you’ve never felt before. Even in very passionate moments, where kissing him stole your breath away, Renjun is caring and gentle. Just like now as he holds you a little closer, loving you a little more. His hand, previously on your cheek, moves down, stroking your waist. Slowly he pulls away, hands still on your waist. “I love you.” Truly, you’re one of the people that make him the happiest. Smiling, you lean into him to place your lips on his one more time, portraying your love for him. “I love you too.” Putting your head on his shoulder again, you notice the movie is still playing. Both of you return to watching and enjoying it further. 

Around halfway through the movie, the cozy atmosphere and dim lit room actually make you sleepy. You did have a long day today and after a while, Renjun notices your lack of comments and snacking. Turning his head to look at you, he sees you fast asleep on his shoulder. Not wanting you to be cold, he places the blanket further up your body and tightens his arm around you. Renjun is unsure about waking you. Since you don’t need to work tomorrow morning, you could sleep over today. It’s been quite a while anyway since the last time you slept over at his place. To be honest, he kind of misses falling asleep with you next to him. However, if you are to sleep over, the painting will need to stay in Jay’s room for the night. I guess I could ask him. He probably wouldn’t mind. Renjun decides he would ask. So he slowly begins to move your head from his shoulder, hoping you won't wake up. He really tries to be careful but apparently isn’t careful enough since you slowly start to wake up while he tries to lay your head down onto a pillow. Slowly sitting up, you quietly mumble his name. Your hooded eyes find the laptop screen still playing the movie. “I’m sorry love, didn’t wanna wake you” “It’s okay. When did I fall asleep?” Renjun smiles, “I’m not sure, some time ago.” “Oh”  “Yeah, oh” He laughs a little. “Do you wanna sleep over, love?” You nod, you can just leave in the morning since you don’t need to work until the afternoon shift begins. Renjun and you decide to just wash up and relax in his bed. He doesn’t need to finish the movie and you’re so tired, you probably would’ve fallen asleep again anyways. Closing his laptop, you make your way to the bathroom he shares with his roommate. Renjun always has a toothbrush prepared for you even if you didn’t sleep over most nights. It’s pretty cute and someway along you also started to pick up that habit of his for whenever he would sleep over at your dorm. That didn’t happen so often though since you share your dorm room with another girl. It’s definitely more comfortable to sleep at his place since he has a room to himself. 

While you’re in the bathroom, Renjun quickly makes his way to Jay’s room and knocks quietly. In hindsight, he could’ve also just sent him a text but whatever, Jay already opened the door. “Hey man, y/n’s gonna sleep over. Is it okay if the painting stays with you tonight?” Jay doesn’t have a problem with it. It’s just in a corner anyway, so the painting doesn’t really bother him. Having solved that problem, Renjun makes his way back into his room and starts to put the snacks away before getting you a shirt and sweatpants to wear for the night. Just in case she wants to get out of her pajama pants. Shortly after, you enter. “Here love, you can get changed if you want while I brush my teeth”, Renjun points to the clothes on the bed that he neatly laid out for you. You’ve always liked sleeping in his clothes, somehow it’s another kind of comfy. Maybe it’s because they always smell like him and how is a girl able to resist that? “Thank you Jun”, you quickly kiss his cheek before he leaves the room. Looking around you notice that Renjun already blew out the candles and sorted out his bed. After quickly changing your clothes, you grab a corner of his blanket and slip under it. 

Not even three minutes pass before he opens the door to his room. A soft smile makes its way onto Renjun’s lips as he sees you already comfy and ready in bed, waiting for him. Seems like the tiredness is slowly creeping up on you again. My poor baby. It's not even 9:30 and she’s ready to call it a day. Renjun quickly turns off his light and gets in bed next to you. You turn around to face him and his arm automatically wraps itself around your waist, pulling you a little closer. You place your hand on his chest while your head rests on his arm. Renjun slowly strokes your hair, soft eyes looking at you in the dark. After a few minutes, you snuggle a little closer to him. Cuddling him like this makes you even more sleepy. You nuzzle your face into his chest, giving him the perfect opportunity to lay a sweet kiss on top of your head. Renjun rests his cheek against the top of your head. Little words are exchanged as you welcome the comfortable and sleepy atmosphere. Except for your breathing, your heartbeats and the occasional sound of the blanket shuffling, the room is silent. You love moments like these. You love when Renjun cuddles with you, when you can feel his arms holding your body closely and his soft breath against your hair. You’ve always had a soft spot for his hugs anyway and being so close to him that you can listen to his heartbeat while feeling the warmth radiating from his body gives another level of bliss. You actually want to stay awake a little longer, want to consciously feel his body for some time more but it’s getting progressively harder for you to stay awake and Renjun sees how you struggle to. He murmurs against your hair, “Close your eyes, love. I know you had a long day” You feel another kiss on your hair and mumble an “I love you” to him before closing your eyes and letting sleep take over you. You barely manage to hear him say it back before you fully fall asleep.  

Opening your eyes the next morning, Renjun’s sleeping face greets you. His hair is kind of messy and his shirt got pulled down a bit, exposing part of his collarbones. Renjun’s arm rests on top of your hip and your feet are touching. Watching him for a few minutes, you get lost in your thoughts. There’s just something different about him in this relaxed state. It's like all the world’s stress and pressure can't get to him, like he can truly be undisturbed and there’s nothing in the world less than peace and happiness that you wish for Renjun. You know he has tendencies that make his life, especially his college life, a little more difficult than it needs to be. But honestly who knew an art major could be so demanding? You used to have this picture in your head of an art major being easy. After all, the students only need to paint stuff, right? Yeah, not exactly. Because of Renjun, you were able to glance beyond surface level and it turns out, studying art is harder than it seems. Renjun has written exams, almost weekly mini art projects for his classes, he needs to hold presentations and when exam season comes around his room is piled up with different art materials for his creative projects. It truly seems like you have to love art to study it or else you will drown. Renjun gives his all for college and you love that for him but him being a perfectionist adds another layer of difficulty to his degree. Sometimes he really needs to relax. That’s why you like seeing him resting so much. He can shut the world out and doesn’t fry his brain with details of his unfinished projects. You get to see him recovering from all the work he puts into his passion. 

You regard Renjun‘s sleeping state for a little while longer. The sun falls beautifully on him, partly on his face and hair. It highlights his slightly puffy face that he tends to get in the mornings. Your hand unconsciously reaches out and begins to stroke his hair slowly. Feeling your hand caressing his hair, Renjun stirs a little and sighs. It’s a very cute sight. Slowly opening his eyes after a few minutes, he smiles at you. Tightening his arm around your waist, you exchange a small kiss. Spending the morning with Renjun is usually a calm and loving experience. He likes to take his time in the mornings whenever he can, especially when he’s still a little sleepy. So you both spend a while wrapped in each other's arms with quiet murmurs to not disturb the morning quietness, taking in the warmth of one another before slowly getting out of bed to get ready. After eating breakfast together you need to leave to go home. Since you didn’t plan on spending the night, you plan on making a stop at your dorm, changing into a different outfit and maybe reading a little before going to work today.

As soon as you left, Renjun got his painting from Jay’s room. Today is the last day he can work on it since the painting needs to be dry for your birthday. After spending the last evening with you, Renjun feels quite good this morning. He feels like he can finish the painting in time and that he’ll like the outcome. The painting still needs details to the pond. It hopefully won’t take more than two hours. After that, Renjun still needs to add finishing touches to your gift. He starts with the pond by adding light blue highlights and a few branches that touch the water before letting the paint rest a little. In the meantime, he moves on to the finishing touches of other parts of the painting. Renjun had planned on spending the majority of today to finish your gift. Unfortunately, he can’t varnish it yet because it needs a few months to properly dry before he can put the varnish on top to fully seal it. However, for your birthday it will be enough for the painting to be dry to touch. After adding a little more detail to the trees in the background and defining a few of them a bit more, Renjun continues with the two main trees forming the heart. He decides to add some moss to the tree barks. 

However, after regarding the thin layer of moss he painted, he isn’t really satisfied. It seems a bit too flat for his liking, so he decides to try a different approach and goes to the kitchen to get some coffee. Maybe adding a few sprinkles of ground coffee into the paint will create a more natural finish. After trying it out on a paper and liking it, he uses his mixture of paint and coffee for the moss on the canvas. Looks pretty good. Being satisfied with the moss, Renjun takes a few steps away from his canvas to have a look at the pond. It doesn’t necessarily look bad but there’s still something he doesn’t like. He feels like it's kind of looking boring, which probably is because of a lack of details. That’s why for the next hour or so he spends his time perfecting the pond. In a spur of inspiration, Renjun also decides to add shadows of little fish inside the water.

Just in time for a small food break, Renjun finishes with the painting for now. He decides to come back to it after eating a bowl of ramen to regard it one last time before deciding if it’s really finished or not. Twenty minutes later, after he finished eating, Renjun stands in his room with crossed arms in front of the canvas. The window is open again, still his room very much smells like oil paints. His shirt and hands have paint on them, he truly looks like an artist in this moment. To him, there’s something strangely satisfying whenever he gets lost in painting so much that his hands and clothes show the proof. Renjun is satisfied with the outcome. It looks great. Exactly how I envisioned it. Finally. The forest looks enchanted, mysterious and doesn't have too much or too little detail. It looks like a forest one could stumble upon in a fantasy world and that’s what he was going for. She will surely like it. Smiling, Renjun starts to collect his art materials to clean them.

But suddenly, he gets a thought. I totally forgot to film! He quickly gets his camera and presses record. “Hi painters, it’s the last day of painting. Tomorrow is just for drying and then it’s y/n’s birthday. I actually already finished the painting but forgot to film it. Sorry about that. It's around 5 pm right now. Last night, y/n stayed over so I couldn’t wake up extra early to finish it. But it’s okay, I finished anyway. Have a look at the result.” Renjun turns his camera to show the canvas. “This is the finished product. I added details to the pond and some finishing touches today and I made some spontaneous decisions that turned out really well actually. ” He zooms in on the moss. “For the moss I added ground coffee into my paint. It gives it a more realistic finish, maybe give it a try some time.” Renjun laughs a little, “I think I might use this hack more often.” He turns the camera to show himself again, “I’m super satisfied with the result and actually very happy that I got finished in time. Although I wouldn’t recommend that you guys start a project this size in such a short time frame. Honestly, it was quite stressful. But I’m glad I was able to pull it off and I know for a fact that y/n’s gonna like it. Thank you guys so much for watching!” Turning his camera off, Renjun let out a happy sigh.

He didn’t immediately start editing the video though. It’s really time to take a break. Renjun just finished a big project and wants to celebrate. That’s why he quickly cleans up his room and video calls the dreamies’ group chat. Haechan is the first one to pick up “Look who came back from the dead.” Renjun laughs dryly and right after Mark joins the video chat, “Yo whats up?” Soon enough all the dreamies join and Renjun tells them about how he’s finally finished with the painting. Of course they want to see it, which is why Renjun switches to his phone’s back camera. “Dude, that looks so cool!” “I think she’s definitely gonna like it” “How come you never paint me a pic like that?” “Are you my girlfriend?”, Renjun deadpans. Haechan sulks a bit, “No.” “See. Now anyways, do you guys wanna hang out tonight?” It’s been a while since all of them hung out together anyway. “Yeah, we could try out that new Mexican restaurant near my place.” Renjun likes Jeno’s idea and everyone agrees, except for Jisung. “Guys, I have to finish an assignment by Wednesday. Can I join a bit later?” Mark reassures Jisung that his assignment was more important. “For sure dude, work on your assignment. We’ll save you a spot.” An hour later, the dreamies are sitting in the restaurant, going over the menu. Renjun thinks it’s nice to spend time together again, catching up and joking around. 

After Jisung joins, the whole group is complete and they spend the evening eating delicious food and talking. Renjun knows that he shouldn’t spend too much money there but stressful days of assignments and the painting is coming to an end and he wants to enjoy himself. That’s why he goes for dessert even when he was kinda full already. It’s okay, I deserve it. Soon, the relaxing evening comes to an end and the boys part ways. The day after tomorrow they’ll meet up at Jeno’s place to celebrate your birthday. You know it's a bit strange to celebrate your birthday at Jeno's place and you were a little hesitant at first. Of course you and Jeno are friends because of Junnie and your bestie, but not that close. Originally, you had planned to just hang out somewhere in the park but the weather has been kind of on the colder side lately. But, Jeno assured you that it’s fine. He's living alone, meaning he has enough space to host your small birthday get-together. Having some people over is nice anyway and he knows most of the people you invited. Besides the dreamies and your best friend, only two other friends of yours were expected to come. So it’s really fine for Jeno. Not to mention, his girlfriend, your bestie, would probably be somewhat upset if he said no to you. You were the person to introduce them after all. 

The next day Renjun slept in. His to do list doesn’t include much for today, mainly getting some nice wrapping for your gift. He also plans on visiting you at work again. It’s going to be a pretty simple day but he likes that his day doesn’t include any stress. Tomorrow, the day of your birthday, he’ll buy you some flowers and your favorite chocolate before meeting up with Mark. He was so nice to offer Renjun to put the painting in his car and drive to Jeno’s place together. This way he won’t need to take the painting on the subway. Renjun is pretty excited for you to see his gift. Of course he knows that you would like it but he still looks forward to your reaction. Since Jeno’s place allows for more room, Renjun plans to show up a bit earlier to decorate the place tomorrow. He excluded you from decorating on purpose and had said he was gonna handle it and so you let him. That boy can be stubborn. Renjun wants to keep his painting out of your sight for as long as he can. 

So when he and Mark arrive at Jeno’s place with your gift on the day of your birthday, Renjun puts it in Jeno’s bedroom. He knows you aren't gonna go in there, so it’s a safe spot to hide it. After making sure the painting isn’t gonna slip while he’s away, Renjun starts to prepare snack bowls and places your cake into the fridge, before helping Jeno and Mark with some balloons and a happy birthday sign. There wasn't much to prepare since you just want to spend your birthday relaxing with your friends. So soon enough, the three of them finish and around 6 pm everyone you invited is gathered on the floor around Jeno’s couch table, playing some board games and catching up. Throughout the day, Renjun films a few moments of your get-together. He wants to include your birthday party but especially your reaction to his present in his video. As the evening passes you turn to karaoke, singing songs from ABBA to Little Mix. At one point Renjun even starts to serenade you. He puts on quite a performance, singing Hot by Avril Lavigne and you totally enjoy it. It’s pretty funny actually, he’s pointing in your direction and dancing around. It’s nice seeing him so carefree. You’re kinda tempted to join and serenade him but he won't let you outperform him anyway. Besides, Renjun really has a lot of energy to spend. It’s already 8 pm, gifts still haven't been exchanged and he’s excited but also somewhat nervous for your reaction. He hopes you’ll love the painting as much as he does. However, there’s a part of him that fears he chose the wrong thing to paint but he tries to ignore that voice. You’re gonna love it, he just needs to keep on reminding himself of that.  

To say your reaction didn’t disappoint would’ve been an understatement. Renjun actually managed to hold himself in check till he was the last one left to give his gift. You really like the gifts you got this year. From a new book to new skin care you’ve been eyeing for a while, your friends put thought into them and that’s what counts and makes you happy. Two of your friends left half an hour ago, cause it’s kinda late already. The boys spontaneously had decided to sleep over at Jeno’s place, so it’s only you, your bestie and the dreamies left. “Okay, time for the finale”, for some reason, Haechan is very excited for your reaction to Renjun’s gift as well. He secretly plans to take pictures of you two. Earlier today, he also appointed Jisung to take a video. “Give me a minute, love. I’ll get your gift” Renjun squeezes your hand, giving you a smile. You look over at the boys and they just have smiles on their faces. It’s obvious that you’re gonna like the painting. Really, Renjun doesn’t have anything to worry about. A minute later, he comes back with the painting in wrapping paper. He chose one with a leaf print on it. It looks nice and maybe it could give you a bit of foreshadowing on what the gift entailed. “Happy birthday, love” Renjun sets the painting down, holding it in place and signals for you to open it. “I hope you like it” 

It’s clear that his gift was some kind of painting. Knowing Renjun, you guess that he actually painted it. “You painted for me?”, you place your hand on the gift. There was a certain smoothness to the wrapping paper. Renjun murmurs a small yes and the thought alone that he had painted you something this big was enough to make you tear up. He must’ve spent hours on this, hours just to make you happy. Sometimes you question how you were so blessed to have someone like him love you. Renjun really is giving his all to make you happy. Slowly, you unwrap the painting. Piece by piece different colors shine towards you, greens, some darker and some lighter, brown and little colorful spots. As soon as you unwrap the gift completely, you have a proper look at the painting and almost can’t believe your eyes. It’s so beautiful and perfect. You would’ve never expected such an amazing gift from him. You can’t believe Renjun would spend so much effort just for you. He put so much detail and love into the painting and it feels like you could see that from a mile away. This was the most thoughtful gift anyone ever gave you. You couldn’t possibly describe the meaning this holds for you. It’s so mesmerizing, the way the colors dance on the canvas, how he managed to portray feelings into his painting and really make it come alive. In a way it feels like the gift expresses how much Renjun loves you. 

You’re so overwhelmed and touched by the painting, the hard work and love he must’ve put into it that the only thing you can do is let out a sob. Renjun definitely didn't expect that reaction. His eyes widen and he starts to panic inside. No no no, she hates it? I should’ve chosen something else, damn it! Your hand naturally finds its way onto your mouth, more tears rolling down your cheeks while you admire the painting for a few moments more. You know Renjun has always put thought into the gifts he got you, but this really is on another level. The amount of devotion he put into making this is unbelievable. You've never seen more beautiful art than this painting and he did it with his own two hands.

Renjun’s wide-eyed gaze finds Mark’s but he also doesn’t know what to do. It’s like Renjun’s worst nightmare comes true right in front of his eyes. How could I be so stupid! Damn it! I was so sure she’s gonna like it. “Baby-”, Renjun’s ready to apologize and go buy you a better gift immediately but you don’t even give him time to finish his sentence. Throwing your arms around him, you hug him tight. “Thank you, thank you.” Four simple words and Renjun’s world stopped crumbling. He is beyond relieved. It’s like all his panicky thoughts leave his body instantly. He lets out a small laugh, hugging you back and smiling into your shoulder. You actually like it, like really like it. “It’s so beautiful. Thank you so much” Your heart almost can’t handle the thought of Renjun giving you something so precious, so beautiful. “Baby you almost gave me a heart attack.” You lean back a bit, mumbling a small sorry before placing your lips onto his. Renjun’s lips were soft and smooth like always. His kiss makes your stomach flip. He’s truly yours, not going anywhere and loving you like no other guy ever has. Renjun’s arms tighten around yours before you tilt your head a little, deepening the kiss and soon enough you hear a mixture of complaints from the boys. “Okay, what the heck” “Ew, leave that for later guys” Renjun blushes a bit, pulling away slowly. He really isn’t used to doing that in front of the boys. Pecking his lips one last time, you loosen your grip and just smile at him. “Dang,” Haechan looks at the pictures he took of you two kissing, “I really need to learn how to paint”.

a/n: excuse any painting process parts or art major parts that might be inaccurate haha, oh and if you wanna request something, I'm open to hear your idea :)

[rideofthevalkyriess]

home sweet home | chapter I

🌿 Pairing Small town au! - Doctor!Gojo Satoru x Teacher&Painter!OC/Reader; Doctor!Gojo Satoru x Dancer!Utahime Iori

🌿 Summary Satoru, or more formally known as Dr. Gojo was a great doctor from the big city. He lived a life that everyone thought was perfect: he worked at the city hospital, lived in a beautiful apartment in the center and was engaged to Utahime Iori. However, he had a big secret that he hid from everyone, which is that Satoru was actually already married to his childhood friend who he left behind in his hometown. And now, it's time for Gojo to face the past and the choices he made, especially his beloved wife.

🌿 Words 4.7k

🌿 Warnings [+18], smut, mature themes, angst, cigarettes and smoking, drugs, drinking/alcohol, adultery, commitment issues, marriage problems, divorce, death, illness and chronic disease, miscarriage, family drama, angst with a happy ending; (more to be added)

🌿 Author's Note Welcome to the first chapter of my new series!! I was inspired by one of my favorite comedies, Sweet Home Alabama. It's not the first time I've written, but it's the first time I've published, so please be patient. I also gave the reader a name as this makes writing easier for me. I hope you enjoy!

Satoru Gojo's life had fallen into chaos and it was entirely his fault.

But no one who knew him would claim that, as he was deceptive and good at keeping up appearances.

To the people who know him, Satoru, or more formally Dr. Gojo, is a great doctor in the city of Boston, his speciality being cardiology. He work in the city central hospital and live in a newly renovated old flat near Beacon Hill. 

In his free time, he plays basketball and enjoys learning languages, most recently German. Satoru didn't have a large social circle, as most of his friends were in the world of medicine. And according to these same friends, Gojo was choleric, perfectionist and impatient, which made him a difficult person to approach; but deep down, he just took his job very seriously.

The news that the hospital nurses were gossiping about was this: Dr. Gojo was engaged to Utahime Iori and they were going to get married the next summer. 

Such gossip was always accompanied by the story of how they met. It was a night when Gojo was on a night shift and Utahime was admitted to the emergency room with a knee injury caused by a fall while dancing. She was - and still is - a dancer by profession and well known for it. It turned out that it was Satoru who attended to her that night, and after a very promising diagnosis followed by release, the two exchanged contacts. 

Their relationship developed ardently and quickly, like the rhythm of the great city of Boston. It had only been a year since they met and they already had a wedding date set, much to the delight of Utahime's wealthy family.

However, his relationship with Utahime and the gossip about him were of little concern to Satoru. In fact, there was one secret that kept his mind occupied during the day and robbed him of sleep at night, and that was this: He was already a married man. 

And well married, to his childhood friend whom he had left behind in his old and  insignificant - in his eyes - hometown. 

But no one in Boston even dreamed or imagined that Dr. Gojo had such a deep and striking stain on his past as that of a failed marriage, so he secretly met with Hiromi Higuruma, a lawyer who specialised in divorces. 

Specialised or not, the truth was that Higuruma was a shark when it came to his clients and was the best lawyer in his law firm - and the most expensive too. It was he who discreetly prepared Satoru's divorce papers and encouraged him to take the papers personally to his wife, much to his client's displeasure. 

“You know, Dr Gojo, I think it would be a good idea if you handed over the divorce papers in person and had a heart-to-heart talk with your wife. I think you two must have a lot to discuss.” Higuruma advised as he gave him the papers. 

“I can't think of anything we need to talk about.” Satoru contested, looking away towards the office windows. It was storming outside and the wind was howling.

“Believe me when I say that divorcing couples always have something to say to each other. How long has it been since you last spoke? Two years? Maybe three?”

“Two years and a half.” Gojo quickly corrected, making the lawyer frown.

“...Well, think about my advice, will you? And you'll see that things will work out.”

That evening, when Satoru returned to his flat, he discovered that although the divorce papers were light, the weight they represented in his life was overwhelming. 

He put them down on the desk in his bedroom, and there they stayed for a few weeks, robbing him of his peace and sleep. 

Until one night, he decided to put an end to his misery - and insomnia - and return to his hometown, Fairview.

In the early hours of the morning when Gojo made his decision, he was very agitated. He emptied half his wardrobe, even though he only intended to be out of the city for a week. He vacuumed the entire house, even though he had a maid who could do the job for him. And he washed the car, even though it was spotless. 

At dawn, Satoru called his fiancée to tell her of his decision, while he prepared the food for the trip, which was going to be a long one. And upon hearing her fiancé's decision, Utahime was less than pleased.

“Why? Why all of a sudden?” She asked alarmed through the phone. 

“I want to visit my family before we get married.” Gojo replied quickly, while preparing the sandwiches and a salad. “That way I can announce the engagement to them.” He concealed it. 

«Ah, but that's where you're wrong, Uta.» Satoru thought to himself. «If you knew what was waiting for me in Fairview, you wouldn't say something like that.»

“Some things have to be said in person.” Gojo hid, as he finished preparing his food and carried his bags to the car.  “Don't worry, I'll be back in a week.”

And although Satoru had made a promise to his fiancée, it would be broken for the most unimaginable reasons. 

“I swear I'm going to get grey hair before I'm forty if you continue to get on my nerves like this.”

“But that's a good thing, we will match.” He joked, sitting down in the driver's seat of the car with a smile on his lips. 

“That's not funny.” Muttered Utahime. “Drive slowly. And watch out for wild animals.”

“I will.” Satoru reassured her. “I'll let you know when I arrive. I love you, Uta”

She didn't reply, but she didn't have to. Gojo knew her feelings, which were now a mixture of love and anger. He knew that she found it difficult to reveal her emotions, which often led to misunderstandings. But deep down, she loved him and was very worried about him. 

When the call ended, Satoru turned on the car and pulled his vehicle out of the carpark of his apartment.

The nervousness that had plagued him all night had ceased after talking to Utahime, whose voice always calmed him down, no matter what her mood. More calm, Gojo had the chance to enjoy the cool morning breeze and appreciate the beginning of spring.

The big city was as busy as ever. 

Traffic and shops were in full swing early in the morning, and this was the pace of life that Satoru admired, liked and desired.

As Satoru left the city centre and headed for the suburbs, the city rush diminished. But it was still beautiful in his eyes, because it was an interesting mix of the urban and the countryside. Big and small houses, with perfectly tended gardens and families straight out of a soap commercial. Perhaps one day, when he grew old, he would experience that lifestyle.

When Satoru left the populated areas for the motorway, he saw little more than green forests just awakened from the harsh winter. 

The rest of the journey remained like that, accompanied by the trees and the radio, playing classics from the eighties and nineties. 

Gojo knew he was in town the moment he spotted a large wooden sign painted in white, announcing "Welcome to Fairview, land of sailors and crabs", much to his displeasure and annoyance.

It was dusk by the time Satoru reached the center of the small town that had once, long ago, been his home. 

Near the beach, he saw the theater built on a pier, suspended over the sea. There he had unique memories of his teenage years, where life seemed easier and simpler. Satoru also appreciated the cathedral, illuminated by the fiery colours of the sunset, in the heart of the city. 

And deep in his heart, Satoru knew that he missed his town, but at the same time, it was this very community that made his spirit and heart sick. 

However, this was not the time for him to feel sentimental and nostalgic, as there were more important matters that called him to reason. 

Satoru drove to his old home, which he had bought together with his wife in their first years of marriage.

The house itself was nothing luxurious. In fact, it was a very old cottage, located at the entrance to the forest that surrounded Fairview. On arriving at the house, Gojo decided to appreciate - or rather judge - the place that brought back so many memories.

Although the house was small, its grounds were so vast that they followed the forest. Close to the cottage, there was a small lake with a newly built pier, which gave the place its charm. A small greenhouse was built on the other side of the lake, with walls and roof made of glass, supported by white painted steel.

The cottage was still exactly as Satoru remembered. Small and tall, painted white and decorated with reddish bricks that matched the thatched roof. The windows and door remained the same, made of light wood and very traditional. 

On the porch of the house, illuminated by fairy lights and decorated with a very nice garden table set, a dog was lying down resting peacefully when he heard Satoru's footsteps. 

The dog, a German shepherd, quickly lifted his head and his eyes went wide, like lamps, when he saw Satoru approaching the porch. With his ears raised towards the strange man, the shepherd began to bark quietly, like a whisper, warning him not to go near the house. 

Gojo, on seeing that large, unfamiliar dog, was startled to think that his wife no longer lived there. His wife wasn't the type to like such ferocious animals and this dog was very different from the beagle she used to own. 

“You're not Maple.” Satoru muttered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

As soon as Gojo had spoken, the dog got up and started barking loudly, warning its owner that there was an intruder on the property. He reflexively moved away and decided it wasn't wise to approach the beast. 

Realising that he wouldn't be able to reach the front door, Satoru decided to try the back door, which was always unlocked. As he walked to the back garden, he noticed something that made him hopeful again. In the garage, which was always open, was his wife's old car, a 2000s platinum-coloured Mercedes that had belonged to her mother. 

The interior of the house remained the same as he remembered it. The floor and doors were made of oak wood, which matched the coffee table and shelves occupied by books and trinkets. The sofa was large and cream-coloured, as were the old walls. The ceiling was adorned with vertical wooden beams the same colour as the floor. And in the center of the room was a very old fireplace made of white stone with a stove in its interior.

A picture frame with a photograph from their honeymoon was carefully placed on top of the fireplace. Satoru smiled slightly and carefully picked up the frame to take a good look at the photograph he hadn't seen for years. 

The photo was taken in Greece, near the Aegean Sea, on a very hot summer's day. Gojo remembers that his wife felt very happy that day, in her translucent white beach dress and her hair blowing in the wind, as she searched for shells and whelks in the sand.  And he also remembers his wife complaining about the sunburn she got, later in the evening. 

“Satoru?” A female voice spoke, drawing him away from his memories. 

Gojo put the photograph back where it belonged and turned to face his wife, with whom he hadn't spoken for over two years.

With his discerning eyes, he judged and admired her from top to bottom.

To Satoru's eyes, his Emma looked very different and at the same time very similar to the one of his memories. She was wearing a light blue painting apron, all stained with paint, as was her face, which had traces of oil paint. Her blonde hair was quite long, down to her waist, and tangled into a braid. Emma appeared to have lost a lot of weight and her face was more defined and tired, with dark circles under her eyes.

For Emma, if it hadn't been for Satoru's height and unique silver hair, she wouldn't have recognised him. 

«Is he taller? No, he's stronger.» It was the first thing she noticed. The truth was, since his departure to Boston, Gojo looked herculean and healthy. The second thing Emma noticed was his beautiful, captivating eyes, and how much she missed having them around. Eyes embellished with delicate silver lashes that made him look divine. 

But, in the back of Emma's conscience, there was a small voice telling her that her husband hadn't come back for the best reasons or because he desired her again. 

«I know you want something from me, I just don't know what it is. Yet.» She reflected, as she watched Gojo smile widely.

“Hello honey, how have you been?” He greeted her teasingly, leaving Emma perplexed.

“What are you doing here? How did you get into my house?”

“Through the back door. You should be more careful, anyone can get in that way.” Satoru explained, slowly approaching his wife. 

“You've got a lot of nerve telling me that when you've just broken into my house! Through the back door!” Emma said, raising her voice as she pointed in the direction of the laundry room. 

“I know, that's why I'm warning you.” The man teased, boldly sitting down on the sofa.

Emma sighed at his audacity and put her hands to her head, trying to keep calm and avoid committing an offence.

“What are you really doing here, Satoru?”

Gojo, still sitting on the sofa, reached into his backpack and pulled out a set of papers, placing them on the coffee table.

“I want a divorce, Emma.” He revealed in a serious, firm tone of voice, which made Emma smile and relax. 

“You wish.”

«Ah, so that's what your visit is all about.» Emma thought, relieved, as she left the room and went to the kitchen to wash her hands from the ink. 

And Satoru, who didn't appreciate her response, stood up and followed her quickly.

“You don't have to make this any more complicated than it already is, honey. There are three copies, one for me, one for you and one for the lawyers.” He retorted. “I even made sure to tick it to make it easier.”

Emma looked at the papers in her husband's hands and didn't know whether to feel upset that he had insinuated that she was slow, or that he had shown up years later asking for a divorce.

She started laughing in disdain and disbelief.

“What?”

“You've got a lot of nerve for coming home, three years after you left, asking me for a divorce.”

“Are you complaining now?”

“Not really, I just expected something more extravagant coming from you.” Confronted Emma. “I'm not signing those papers. They're not in my interest.” 

Out of frustration, Satoru started rubbing his hands over his face, trying to moderate the throbbing pain in his head. 

“Come on Emma, why do you have to be so stubborn? Don't you want to leave this phase of your life in the past and start again?”

Emma, who had just washed her ink-stained hands, was furious at Gojo's words and accidentally broke a mug that was lying in the sink, causing the German shepherd to start barking anxiously outside. 

“I don't remember you asking my opinion or worrying about me when you left. Or when you decided that Fairview was no longer your home. You made that decision all by yourself! My God, Bear, shut up!” Emma scolded nervously.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the kitchen.

“Sorry, he's nervous because he doesn't know you and we're arguing.” Said the woman with a tired tone and looking away from her husband. 

“What happened to Maple?” Satoru asked, looking at the dog, who was also staring at him through the window.

“She died in her sleep. You weren't here…” 

Gojo stared at his wife patiently and saw that her eyes were watery, as if she was about to cry. He could tell that Emma was still suffering. And even Satoru couldn't help but feel sad about the death of Maple, who had been a good and special dog and was present in many of their memories.

From the window, it was evident that the sun had hidden and the night reigned outside. Looking at his wristwatch, Satoru realised it was already late and grabbed his backpack, preparing to leave. 

“I'll leave the papers with you, make sure you sign them.” 

Emma went into the living room and leaned against one of the pieces of furniture, admiring him again.

“If you leave it here, I'll put it in the fireplace.” Warned Emma with a provocative little smile, which made Satoru sigh and put his backpack down on the sofa. 

“Why do you have to be so difficult?” He grumbled. “All right, until you sign them, I'm not leaving.” Gojo said, shamelessly sitting down on the couch.

“Careful, that sounds tempting to me.” Emma teased, approaching him. “Go stay with your mother. I'm sure she doesn't know you're in town.” 

Satoru remained in silent and that was all Emma needed to hear. 

“Satoru, please.” 

He just handed her a pen, which made her even more frustrated.

“Do as you wish.” She said with a long sigh and turned away from him. 

But Emma wasn't someone who gave up easily or declared defeat after a lost battle. 

Cunningly and discreetly, she picked up the landline that was resting on one of the tables in the living room and locked herself in the bedroom, making an unusual call. And there she waited, until she began to hear loud sirens and flashing lights.

“I hope you've got something striped in that bag, it'll come in handy.” Emma joked, leaving the bedroom to the living room, where Satoru had been sitting on the sofa until then.

“Why would I-” Satoru complained, but stopped the instant he heard the deafening sirens of the police car. “You called the police? You know very well that the chief hates me!” 

“And with good reason.”

Few stories of rebelliousness could surpass those of Satoru during his teenage years. He was someone who collected achievements like a stamp collector. But despite the wide variety of stories, none surpassed the night he drank too much - as he never had in his life - and stole a car owned by Masamichi Yaga, the chief of the police of Fairview. 

What happened that night remains a mystery, but Gojo recalls rallying the car up a hill away from the town. By the end of the night, the vehicle was completely wrecked. Yaga never found out who had committed the crime, but he had strong suspicions.

“Hey Emma, I heard your call on the radio.” Satoru would recognise Suguru's sweet, concerned voice anywhere. “What's happened?”

“The intruder is in the living room. You can take him with you.” Emma explained, making Suguru confused and wrinkling his forehead. 

Geto walked heavily to the living room due to his uniform and the tiredness of a long day's work. But all the fatigue and exhaustion quickly disappeared when he ran into his old friend Satoru.

“Satoru?!”

“Hey, it's been a while.” Greeted Satoru excitedly, and moved to give his old childhood friend a strong hug. 

After a long hug and a few pats on the back, they separated. Emma enjoyed the reunion of these two tall, strong men, and felt nostalgic about her youth. Until Suguru decided to ask the question of millions. 

“You look well. Where have you been?” Suguru asked, making Emma and Satoru look at each other intensely. 

“Boston.” Gojo said, looking at Emma. “From what I see, you're still a policeman.”

“Yeah. They pay me well to walk around the city.” Geto jokes, fixing his uniform. “My God, Em, you scared the shit out of me. You know how worried I get about you living alone in such an isolated place.”

“Suguru, be a little more professional. You're handling the suspect of a crime.” 

“She doesn't live that isolated. On the way here I saw that they had built two new housing developments nearby.” Satoru replied, leaning against the back of the sofa.

“Still, she's a woman who lives alone in the middle of nowhere.” Suguru reminded him. “She's vulnerable here.”

“Vulnerable? Haven't you seen the wolf she has outside?”

“Excuse me! Firstly, Bear is not a wolf but a German shepherd. Secondly, I don't understand why I'm the subject of this conversation. And thirdly, Suguru, please, get him out of here!” Protested Emma, pointing her finger at Gojo.

“She's right Satoru, you can't force your way into a house.”

“But I didn't break in, I came in through the back door.” Satoru revealed with an insolent smile, causing Suguru to look in disbelief at Emma.

“Really? I already warned you to lock the doors, Em. You should be more careful.” Suguru reminded with a firm voice tone, making Emma feel ashamed. “As for you, this isn't your home anymore, you can't come and go as you please, Satoru. I will have to escort you out.”

“Use the handcuffs, please.” Emma says with a teasing manner. Gojo gave her a perplexed look.

“Suguru, if you can get her to sign these papers, I'll let you run me out of town.” Satoru suggested with a smile on his lips, staring at his wife. 

Emma recognized that cheeky grin, full of insistence and the threat of turning lives into a living hell.

«No one so arrogant should have such a charming smile.» Emma thought, looking away from her husband.

“Papers? What papers?” Suguru asked, as Satoru grabbed the documents and handed them to the policeman. 

“This is a private matter, Suguru.” She said, feeling uncomfortable as she watched Geto read the documents.

“A divorce application?” Questioned the policeman, looking bewilderedly at Satoru. He then turned to Emma, still surprised. “I thought you'd taken care of this.”

“Me too…” 

“Clearly not.” Satoru objected. 

“If you two are still married, it's his house too, Em. This is a domestic dispute.” Geto said slowly.

“...He didn't hit you, did he? If he did, I'll take him to the police station.” Suguru declared, leaving Satoru with a tense expression and a furrowed forehead.

The two men stared at her, tense and suspicious of each other.

“No Suguru, Satoru never hit me.” Emma confessed, to the relief of the two men. That was the truth, and although Gojo had many and countless flaws, being violent certainly wasn't one of them.

But the mood for nostalgia had cooled and an uncomfortable silence settled over the living room. 

“Well, you two have a lot to catch up on. I'd better go.” 

“Suguru, wait! Please don't do this to me! Take him away!” Emma asked anxiously.

“You make me crazy! Sign the damn papers!” Satoru asked Emma.

“There's nothing I can do. The law is the law.” Geto said, pointing at Gojo. “And he hasn't done anything wrong.” 

Nimbly, Emma moved and stood between Suguru and the front door, blocking his passage.

“Please, Suguru!” Emma begged, rubbing her palms together. “If you won't take him to the police station, at least get him off my property. I can't get stressed out.” 

Suguru looked at Emma closely and saw that she was desperate and distressed, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.

He let out a long sigh and scratched his forehead with his thumb - as he used to do.

“Satoru, I think we should go out and have a drink, what do you say?”

“Wait, are you kicking me out? You can't do that.”

“No, I don't have the authority to do that. I'm giving you advice, because you're being an ass.” Suguru responded, with Emma glaring at the two men. “It's getting late, and I'm sure this discussion can wait until tomorrow.” 

Gojo rolled his eyes and bowed his head, before grabbing his bag and heading out the back door without saying another word. Meanwhile, Emma and Suguru look at each other smiling once again.

“Thank you.”

“Just be careful. And lock the doors and windows of the house, please.” Suguru warned before going out through the front door to the porch where Bear was.

Geto petted the head of the German shepherd, that wagged its tail happily. Bear had known Suguru since he was a puppy and enjoyed the biscuits the man gave him.

Suguru opened the door and let him in, as it was already cold outside. Fairview might have a mild climate during the day, but it's nights were always freezing, with sharp winds. 

Satoru was leaning against his car, enjoying the night. The full moon's moonlight, delicate and shiny, reflected like silver dust over the garden lake. A light fog rose near the forest and in the trees, he could hear owls hooting and flying. 

Despite the cold, it was a lovely evening.  

“Nice car.” Suguru said, lighting a cigarette.

“Thanks, it's a BMW X7.” Satoru answered, still frustrated. He turned round and saw the patrol car. “Yours isn't too bad either.” 

Both remained silent.

“Have you got a place to stay yet?” Suguru asked, taking a drag from his cigarette.

“I'm going to spend the night at the hotel near the beach.” 

“Aren't you staying with your mother?” Geto asked, but Satoru didn't answer. “Does she know you're in town?”

“No. I didn't tell her…”

Suguru let out a long sigh and smoked again.

“You should visit them. Megumi talks about you all the time, he misses you.”

Gojo took a deep breath and looked down at his feet, crossing his arms tightly. Geto looked at him with an arched eyebrow.

“Look, a new bar has opened in town. What do you say we go there for a drink and catch up?” Just as he finished speaking, the radio in his uniform sounded, alerting him to a new occurrence. “Looks like we'll have to wait for another time.” 

“Hard day?”

“Yes, a very busy one. You must have brought the chaos of the big city with you.” Joked Suguru, finishing his cigarette and dropping it on the floor. “Well, I should go. It was good to see you.”

 “You too. Drive safe.” Satoru reminded, because Suguru was a driving maniac. Geto laughed and shook his head as he remembered something.

“Hey, there's a reunion of old friends this weekend. Just people from school and college. Do you want to come?”

“ I don't know if that would be a good idea.”

“It's nothing formal, just a casual get-together of old friends. We'll have dinner at six at Shells n'Roses and then go to a bar for a drink. It's Saturday, in case you change your mind.” 

Satoru nodded slightly and the men said goodbye with a pat on the back. 

However, even after Geto left, Gojo remained. In the company of the lake and the moon dancing on the water, he rethought his life and his choices. What his life was and what it could be. 

From the window, Emma saw Satoru and, although the man seemed eternally beautiful, with the silver moonlight shining on his white hair, she noticed that he seemed melancholic and quiet compared to who he used to be.

Although compassionate, the woman still felt furious and betrayed by her husband's actions and decided to close the curtains and continue her nightly routine. 

She had already experienced too many emotions for one night. 

Author's Note - Thank you for reading my story and feel free to comment or talk to me! Soon I will post this story over on AO3. If you want to be added to the taglist, please comment on the series masterlist. Bye~

🏷️ @kalopsia-flaneur ; @tojideckmuncher ; @hauntedcrownpost ; @nervousnightthing ; @slowlyshycomputer ; @kazehayaaa ; @blushedcheri ; @eolivy

[vodika-vibes]

Something Goes Bump In The Night

Summary: Months after you find Fives on Kamino, you and he start looking for answers as to why he's alive.

Pairing: Wraith! ARC Trooper Fives x F! Twi'lek Reader

Word Count: 3659

Prompts: Fixing each other's clothes, "Shut the kriff up and eat your shitty ration bar." and "You make me feel safe." "You really shouldn't"

Warnings: Violence, Fives attacks the reader without meaning to, the word sex is mentioned twice in regards to the reader doing Spoogle (space google) searches, Reader is described as a blue-skinned twi'lek with ear cones.

A/N: So, this story is brought to you by the many, many, many pictures I've seen of Fives with a y-incision. Also, I played around with wraiths a little bit. Because I wanted to.

In the months that Fives has been living on your ship with you, you’ve come to learn a few things about him. 

A, he’s something of a perfectionist. You’re much more of a “good enough” type of person, especially when planning jobs, but he gets all bent out of shape if you don’t have a whole plan from infiltration to escape.

Ironically, he doesn’t seem to have a problem with improvising if the plan goes wrong, which is more confusing to you than you’d like to admit.

B, he’s messy. Since he was a soldier, you thought he would be a neat freak. But he’s not. He’s careful about ensuring his mess doesn’t get in your way, but you’ll find his datapads and models strewn around your ship rather than consolidated in a single place.

C, he’s clingy.

Look, your ship is small. Tiny. Built for one person and an astromech, maybe. It’s certainly not built for an adult man who is built like a brick wall and another person (namely yourself).

So you quickly sussed out that you and Fives were going to have to share a bed. It was a little weird, that first night. You’ve never shared a bed with anyone before, after all. 

But the following morning you woke up with him curled around you, his arms tight around your waist. Like a giant, clingy blanket. And, despite what you said to him that morning, about him being clingy, you’ve grown to enjoy it.

Your family isn’t really the “touchy” type, and Fives curling around you every night is the closest you’ve had to a hug since you were a child.

Which…is depressing, if you think about it too hard.

So, you don’t.

There are other things you’ve noticed about Fives, things that you make note of in your tablet, but would never mention to him. He has moments of extreme violence, never directed towards you, but towards other people.

He’s fiercely protective of you, to the point of murder.

And he’s afraid.

He’s so, so afraid of finding out what the Kaminoans did to him. 

You rest your chin on the palm of your hand and watch Fives move around the kitchenette with an absent sort of interest. He’s always hungry, Fives. Most of your money is spent on making sure there’s enough food on the ship for him.

“You’re staring,” Fives notes as he sits at the bar across from you.

You shrug, unconcerned, “I’m thinking.”

“Oh, is that why I was smelling smoke?” He teases something unnatural and inhuman glittering in his eyes. It should scare you. It should. But this is Fives.

How could you be afraid of Fives?

“You know me,” You joke back, “My brain is just three tookas on a treadmill—”

He grins at you, a lopsided smile that’s actually insanely attractive. It’s really not fair. How dare the Kaminoans choose Jango Fett as a template and not some ugly bounty hunter?

Wait…you’re getting distracted.

It takes you a moment to put your train of thought back on track, “I’m thinking,” You say as you point your ration bar at Fives, “We should hit up Jedha.”

He pauses, his spoon halfway to his mouth, “Why?”

“They have a collection of weird shit. Maybe they know what’s going on with you.”

Fives lowers his spoon back to his bowl and taps the rim of his bowl thoughtfully, “Are you sure you want to steal from Jedha?”

“Steal?” You press your hand to your chest in mock offense, “Fives! I do not steal! I merely…borrow things.”

He points his spoon at you, “And tell me, moonbeam. Have you ever returned anything you’ve borrowed before.”

“I returned your shirt!”

“Yeah. Because we live together. And you kept the sweatshirt.”

“I look amazing in your clothes.”

“You’re a twi’lek, you’d look amazing in a paper bag.”

You point at him, “That is a harmful stereotype.”

“Uh-huh,” He actually takes a bite of his oatmeal, “Remind me, what did you do for a living before you decided to become a thief?”

“I am a recovery expert—”

He raises a single brow and you huff and cross your arms, “I may have, possibly, been an exotic dancer. At a club that only hired twi’leks.”

“Thank you for making my point for me.”

You narrow your eyes at him, “Anyway. I think Jedha will have some of the information we need. Or, if nothing else, they can point us in the right direction.”

“I thought you decided that I’m a zombie.” Fives asks.

“Well, I thought so. But I’ve been doing some research online—”

“Oh boy.”

You glare at him, “I’ve been doing research,” You repeat, “And aside from a, truely concerning, number of people who would be okay with fucking a zombie, I have determined that you can’t be a zombie. Because you’re too smart.”

“Can we rewind to the point where people want to fuck zombies?”

“No. We can’t.”

“Come on, moonbeam,” He grins at you, “What did you see?”

This time, you pout at him, “Shut the kriff up and eat your shitty ration bar.”

“I’m eating oatmeal,” He counters smugly.

You reach across the table to steal his bowl, only for him to smack your hand with his spoon, “Rude!”

“Make your own oatmeal! I’m not sharing.”

“I let you sleep in my bed!”

“Our bed Moonbeam.” He wraps an arm around his bowl protectively, “Anyway, you were saying about Jedha.”

You mournfully eye the ration bar in your hand, and then shove it to the side, “I think you’re a spirit of some kind.”

“I’m solid.”

“I don’t know, Fives. This is why we need help!”

He watches you steadily for a moment, and then shrugs lazily, “Alright. We go to Jedha. You want to go set the heading?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You spin on the chair and hop to your feet to head to the cockpit. Then you pause and step around the bar to wrap your arms around Fives from behind. You rest your chin on his shoulder for a moment, “We’ll figure it out, Fives. I promise.”

You see a small smile out of the corner of your eye, and his hand lightly presses against your cheek. I know. I trust you. You’ll figure this out. His touch seems to say, and you tighten your arms around him for a moment, before you release him. 

“Right. Jedha! Hopefully, the Empire hasn’t destroyed it yet. Or, if they did, they didn’t destroy the information.” You mumble to yourself as you leave the room.

Fives scowls as he looks around Jedha. They’re too late.

Nothing is left standing.

He glances at his moonbeam and feels the stirring of rage at the look on her face. She looks crushed.

He swallows the rage with difficulty, there’s no one here to lash out at. There’s no Empire here. No pirates. No Cartels. Just him and his moonbeam. A gentle breeze washes the scent of her over him, and it helps quell his anger enough that he’s able to speak.

“There might still be something left.” He offers.

She turns to look at him, her wide eyes glassy with tears, “How can you say that? There’s nothing left!” She gestures to what was once a bustling city at the foot of the temple. “They…destroyed everything.”

He’s going to kill the Emperor. And all of the Admirals. And probably everyone who’s ever worn an Imperial uniform.

How dare they make her cry.

Fives takes a deep breath and lightly sets his hand on her shoulder, “Don’t give up hope yet. We haven’t actually looked yet, have we?”

She sniffles and wipes her eyes, “Do you really think we’ll find something.”

“Well, if we don’t then all we lost is time.” Fives replies logically. He smiles at her when she turns to look at him, and gently adjusts her headwrap, pulling it down over her earcones. 

A tiny smile lifts her lips, and she presses her hands over his, “I suppose there’s no harm in looking.” She murmurs, she scans his face for a moment and then a small furrow appears on her brow, “I upset you. I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, “Not your fault. I’m controlling it.” One of his hands falls so the backs of his fingers brush her cheek. “I suppose this ruins the plan we made.” He gestures to the ruins.

“Well…makes it moot, I suppose.” She replies as she tears her gaze from his face to scan the former city. “...do you think anyone got out alive?”

“I’m sure they did.” He lightly squeezes her shoulder one more time, “It looks like there’s a path through the ruins, shall we?”

“After you,”

He flashes a small smile and starts down the steps with his moonbeam hot on his heels. 

It takes time for them to work their way through the ruins. They have to backtrack several times after stumbling over roadblocks that Fives determines are too unsafe to climb over. 

Eventually, they make it to the former temple.

There are several openings and Fives checks all of them, before bringing her to one in the back, “According to the schematics, the archives used to be on this side of the temple.” He explains, “This opening should be the easiest way to get there.”

“Alright. Are you going first or do you want me to?” She asks.

Fives shoots her a look, “When have I ever let you go first?”

“Never, but there’s a first time for everything.” She grins at him, and he shakes his head before he smooths his hand over her head.

“I’ll go first, you can come after me when I tell you it’s safe.”

And that’s exactly what happens, Fives lowers himself down on the rope and makes sure that the area is safe, before shouting up that she can join him.

She descends the rope much faster than him. But then, his moonbeam is a thief, so she knows ropes a little better than he does. Fives makes sure that she’s secure on her feet before he looks around.

The Temple really is little more than a ruin.

Honestly, he doesn’t expect to find anything useful here, but he has to look. If only to keep her from feeling guilty.

“Alright. So the Archives were that way,” Fives nods at a collapsed hallway, “But I think if we go this way we’ll be able to find a way around.”

“Sounds like a plan,” She replies as she steps towards the opening in the wall that Fives indicated.

He stops her with a hand on her chest, “Why don’t I go first, see what I can see. Make sure that there’s actually a way through before we start poking around.”

“I can help, Fives.”

He chuckles and lightly kisses her forehead, “I know you can. But I’d like you to stay here. Maybe make a map?”

She blinks, “Oh! That’s a great idea!”

“I’m full of them.” He counters with a grin.

“You’re full of something, alright.” Fives’ grin widens. The fact that she’s sassing him means she’s slowly getting over seeing the aftermath of the massacre.

Good.

He hates it when she’s sad.

It should be illegal.

Fives waits until she pulls her headset out of her pocket and slips it under her head wrap, and he doesn’t move until he hears the familiar crackle of her comm coming to life in his ear.

“Alright, moonbeam. I’ll call out directions as I move.”

“And I’ll mark them on my tablet.” She finishes with an agreeable nod as she sits on a rock, “Just be careful. Just because nothing has killed you yet, doesn’t mean nothing will.”

“I’ll be careful. I promise.”

An hour later, his moonbeam’s comm crackles to life, “—Who are you?” And Fives’ blood runs cold. 

He never considered that someone else might still be in the temple. He never considered it, so he didn’t look. 

“Wait, what are you…Hey!” There’s a sharp squealing noise of her comm being destroyed.

And that’s the last thing that Fives remembers.

You try to back away from the men that are slowly circling you.

Try being the keyword here, as there are five of them and only one of you and they have you completely surrounded.

“Who are you?” One of them, the leader most likely, demands as he aims his blaster at you.

“Who are you?” You counter, pulling bravery from…somewhere.

“I asked you first.”

“I was here first.”

“Do you always talk back to people pointing blasters at you?” Another man asks.

“Yeah, Pretty much.” You swallow hard. Fives is coming. You know it. Maybe if you get these men to leave you won’t have to witness the massacre that is Fives lost in a rage. “You should probably go.”

“Is that right?” One of the men, holding a snipe rifle (which seems excessive to you) asks sarcastically.

“My partner—”

“So you are not alone.”

Fuck.

Kriff.

“It’s fine.” The last man says, “We still outnumber them.”

“True.” The first man stares at you through his helmet, “Wrecker, tie her up.”

“Got it, Hunter.”

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wrecker? Hunter? Those are clone names.

That or really bad call signs.

“...you’re clones?” You yelp as you take a step back.

The men pause, and then helmets come off and they move so that you can see them properly.

“We might be clones,” One of the men, paler than the others with cybernetics on his head, says coldly, “But you’re a graverobber.”

You ignore his words, staring instead at the handprint on his chest plate. “You’re Echo.” You say numbly.

He falters, “How can you possibly know that?”

“Oh Force, you’re Echo.” You whisper. “You! You have to put the weapons down! You have to!” 

“Why should we do that?”

“Fives is going to kill you.” You say bluntly. Matter of factly. 

Echo’s face twists, “My brother is dead.”

“Yeah, he got better.” He doesn’t believe you, and slowly you take a step away from him when you hear, what sounds like, wailing. Goosebumps rise on your skin, and your lekku twist in discomfort. They can’t hear him.

They won’t hear him until it’s too late.

And Fives—

Dear Fives. Sweet Fives. Kind Fives.

He’ll never forgive himself if he kills his brothers.

And so, when the wall bursts open revealing Fives in a deadly rage, his form constrained by his armor, you know what you have to do.

He lunges at Echo, who is closest to you, and is the most obvious threat towards you. And you lunge forward as well, placing yourself between Echo and Fives.

“Fives! STOP!” You shout, spreading your arms wide to shield Echo as best as you can.

He can’t hear you. You know he can’t hear you.

But you have to try.

A strong hand wraps around your throat, and Fives slams you to the ground as if you weigh nothing. Pain blooms across your back and the back of your head.

Something sharp pierces both of your shoulders, and you bite your tongue to stifle your scream of pain. Though there’s no stopping the pained tears rolling down your face. 

You’ve always been a baby about pain, it’s fine.

Slowly, painfully, you reach up and pull Fives’ helmet off, allowing it to fall to the side. His eyes are blank, there’s no recognition in his gaze, and his teeth have grown to the fangs that always appear when he gets like this.

“Fives,” You speak his name calmly and clearly as you reach up and gently press your hands against his icy cheeks, “Fives. It’s just me. It’s just your moonbeam.”

Slowly the wailing subsides to a level that doesn’t make you want to claw your ear cones off, but his hand is still around your neck, and your vision is starting to spot. 

“Fives,” You repeat his name, “You need to let go.”

His grip tightens, and you gasp for breath. It’s getting hard to stay conscious. 

“Fives,” You rasp his name, “Safe. No danger.” Your hands are still pressed against his face, but you’re starting to lose consciousness. Force, you hope he doesn’t kill you. That will destroy him.

Just as you’re about to pass out from lack of oxygen, his grip around your throat loosens and you start coughing. There’s sharp pain as the nails in your shoulders retract, and Fives collapses on you, unconscious and human again.

You wrap your shaky arms around him, “It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.”

“What the fuck?”

Suddenly you’re reminded that you’re not alone, and you blink, hazily, up at Echo. A stricken, horrified, looking Echo. “It’s fine.” You say, “Everything’s fine.” 

It’s a lie. A horrible, awful lie. 

But you have to believe it.

You have to.

Fives wakes up slowly.

His head hurts, his entire body hurts.

It takes a moment for him to remember that someone was threatening his moonbeam and his eyes snap open.

He’s about to sit up when a gentle hand cards through his hair, “Easy there, Fives.”

He blinks at her, twice, and then looks around. They’re on the ship?

“I thought…what happened to Jedha?”

“We’re still on Jedha, just back on the ship.” She says smoothly, though her voice sounds rough. She’s wearing one of her sweaters, though the shoulders look bulkier than normal.

He sits up, slowly wincing in pain. “What happened?”

She opens her mouth to say something and then hesitates. “Nothing important.” She finally says, and Fives knows that she’s lying to him.

Memories flash in front of his eyes, faster than he can keep track of.

But he sees her, tears streaming down her face, his hand around her throat. His name, calm and collected, falling from her lips. 

He reaches out with a shaking hand to lightly grab the collar of her sweater, and he tugs it down.

There, stark on her pale blue skin, wrapped around her throat is a hand-shaped bruise.

His hand.

“What did I do?”

“It was an accident.” She says lightly taking his hand in hers and allowing the material of her sweater to hide the injuries from him, “It was an accident and it wasn’t your fault.”

“I tried to kill you.”

“It was an accident,” She repeats.

“What else did I do?” He demands, “Tell me.”

“I have a few…minor stab wounds.” She says with a sigh.

“Minor? Or all the way through.”

“It’s not you’re fault.” She repeats, “Not any more than any other time. You can’t help what you are.”

“A monster?”

She moves so she’s sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands moving to cup his face, “Fives, I’ve never thought that.”

“You should.”

She sighs and gently strokes his cheeks, “With help from my new friends, we managed to get into the archives, and I found a lead.”

He stares at her, “A lead?” Fives repeats, feeling as numb now as he did the day he woke up on Kamino.

“I think you’re a Wraith. Or a Wraith adjacent.” She explains, “We have to go to Zakuul to learn more.”

“Zakuul.” He feels like Echo, repeating everything that she’s saying. “You should leave me here. Where you’ll be safe.”

“No.” Her answer is immediate, “No. Fives, I’m not afraid of you.” She smiles at him and brushes a curl from his forehead, “You make me feel safe.”

“You really shouldn’t.”

She sighs and leans in to press her forehead against his, “If it helps, someone else will be traveling with us from now on.”

His gaze snaps to hers, and he feels the stirring of jealous possession burning in his gut.

“Don’t be like that,” She chides lightly, “You’ll like this one.”

“I doubt that.”

“I’m hurt, vod.” Fives jolts at the familiar voice and turns his gaze towards the doorway, where Echo is leaning against the frame. He has a small smile on his lips, though there’s something sad in his gaze.

“Echo?”

“Rex told me you died.”

“I saw you die.” Fives counters.

“Yeah well, looks like we both got better.” Echo jokes lightly, “I’m going to be hanging out with you two for a bit.”

“That’s…” Fives pauses, “Because I tried to kill her.”

“It was an accident.” She repeats, and Fives is sure that she’s going to say that a lot in the coming days.

“Because you’re my twin and something is wrong.” Echo walks over and lightly rubs Fives’ head, “Come on, did you think I wouldn’t help my little brother?”

“We were decanted at the same time.”

“And yet, Rex says I’m older.” Echo grins, “Now, baby brother,” He ignores Fives’ glare as if it’s not even there, “You need to rest.”

“Me? I’m fine.”

“Fives,” His moonbeam says his name in a sigh, and Fives frowns at her.

“I’m fine! You’re hurt.”

“You both need rest,” Echo announces, “I am going to do some research on where this Zakuul place is, and then we’re going to comm Rex for a bigger ship—”

“What’s wrong with this one?”

“It’s too small for three people. Hell, it’s too small for two people, and I refuse to share with the pair of you.” Echo says bluntly, “Anyway. You two rest, and I’ll handle everything for a bit.”

And then Echo is gone, allowing the door to snap shut behind him.

The bedroom is silent for a moment, and then Fives jolts when his moonbeam crawls over him and squishes herself between the bulkhead and himself, “There, now we can rest.”

“...you really don’t hate me?”

She releases an explosive sigh and pulls him down so she’s able to wrap herself around him, her head tucking under his chin, “How could I hate you? You’re Fives.”

And somehow, without her saying it, Fives hears exactly what she means.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

How could he not? He feels the same way.

@bad4amficideas

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@pinahallowsevecloneparty

[almostyours]

"    [...]   i've been seeing a lot of tweets and tiktoks from angels saying that x character is just like x hiraeth member,  and honestly,  i thought it’d be fun to make a video about it for all you losers who want to know if your favorite anime character or whatever matches up with any of the members.    [...]    like,  not too long ago,  i watched this parallel edit of geto and poppy with mitski's abbey,  and man,  what the fuck?!  that was as messed up as that one kaia’s working for the knife edit.  the power of life-changing edits…   "   —   august  2,  2024

TLDR.   a  quick  CHARACTER  STUDY  of  the  hiraeth  members,  using  actual  characters  from  other  media  as  references.  narrated  and  explained  by  popular  youtuber  and  angel,  bestie.  template  credits  to  user  @/aqualvng.

POS.   optimistic,  hardworking,  passionate,  loyal,  ambitious NEG.   overbearing,  stubborn,  overly  idealistic,  emotionally  guarded

LESLIE  KNOPE,  parks  and  rec.  

"   [...]   i think this is what happened.   imagine mama and papa hiiragi binge-watching parks and rec and thinking,  yeah,  let’s just make our own version of leslie.  i’m telling you,  leslie is basically kaia—  super charismatic but,  like,  in that way that’s a little overbearing but you still can’t help but find it endearing.  i mean,  everything about leslie is this perfect blend of being super driven and sweet,  and it just screams kaia to me.   "

TOMOE  MAMI,  puella  magi  madoka  magica.   

"   so,  if you think about it,  mami and kaia are like two sides of the same coin.  mami's got this super mature,  collected vibe,  right?  and even after everything she's been through,  she still manages to be this caring,  protective figure for everyone around her.  that's basically kaia in a nutshell if we consider how hard it was for her to debut.   [...]   no matter what happens,  she stays strong and keeps looking out for everyone,  just like mami.  it's that mix of being graceful under pressure and still having so much heart that makes them so similar.   "

MIZUNO  AMI,  sailor  moon.  

"   kaia is totally the sailor mercury of the group.  just like ami,  she's always the voice of reason,  the one who keeps everyone grounded when things get crazy.  sailor mercury’s got that calm,  logical vibe that balances out the rest of the team,  and that’s exactly how kaia rolls too.   "

ALPHONSE  ELRIC,  fullmetal  alchemist.   

"   everyone says that kaia gives off major alphonse elric vibes and i agree!  just like al,  she's got this really gentle and kind nature,  always looking out for everyone else and keeping the peace.  even when things get tough,  alphonse stays strong and focused,  never losing that caring side of him.  [...]   she’s basically the heart of the group,  just like alphonse is for edward.   "

KOCHO  SHINOBU,  kimetsu  no  yaiba.   

"   kaia reminds me so much of shinobu from demon slayer.  she's got that calm,  almost serene vibe that keeps everyone around her grounded.  but just like shinobu,  you can’t help but feel like there’s more going on beneath the surface.  kaia's so composed and collected,  it makes me wonder if there are things she’s keeping to herself...   "

OTHERS.   yuuji  itadori  jujutsu  kaisen,  joy  inside  out,  maizono  sayaka  danganronpa  series,  amy  rose  sonic  the  hedgehog,  monica  geller  friends,  navia  genshin  impact,  pam  beesley  the  office,  debra  morgan  dexter,  aisha  winx  club,  diana  prince  wonder  woman,  kanroji  mitsuri  kimetsu  no  yaiba,  nate  archibald  gossip  girl,  aerith  gainsborough  final  fantasy

POS.   compassionate,  determined,  kind,  hardworking,  loyal NEG.   assertive,  aloof,  self-critical,  perfectionist,  stubborn

EDWARD  ELRIC,  fullmetal  alchemist.

"   ed and poppy are both super funny,  and they’ve got that quick wit that keeps things entertaining.  ed’s got this hilarious anger that pops up whenever someone mentions his height,  which just adds to his charm and reminds me when poppy said she didn't like when her members teased her because of her height.   and who knows,  maybe she reacts the same way as him!   [..]   but underneath all that humor,  both of them are incredibly determined.  ed’s always putting in the work,  no matter how tough things get,  and poppy’s right there too—  funny and playful,  but totally serious when it’s time to get things done.  they both know how to balance humor with hard work,  and it makes them really stand out.   "

BLAIR  WALDORF,  gossip  girl.   

"   queen b and poppy are like two peas in a pod—  both super stylish and ambitious,  always bringing their a-game when it comes to fashion and getting what they want.  they’ve got that sharp sense of humor that makes them fun to watch,  but let's be real,  their ambition can sometimes rub people the very wrong way.  they know how to work a room and get things done, but not everyone is a fan of how they do it.  it’s that mix of charm,  wit,  and a bit of ruthless drive that makes them very similar,  even if it doesn’t always win them friends or fans.   "

MUICHIRO  TOKITO,  kimetsu  no  yaiba

"   my boy tokito and poppy both have this cool,  nonchalant vibe that makes them seem pretty aloof at first.  but once you get to know them,  you realize there’s a lot more beneath the surface.  muichiro might come off as distant,  but deep down he’s super kind and cares deeply,  even if he doesn’t always show it unless it's with people he really trusts.  i think poppy’s got that same energy—  she might seem detached to non fans and casual listeners—  she does hold the ice princess title,  after all...  but she’s actually nice with an interesting humor.  it’s that mix of seeming indifferent on the outside but being truly kind on the inside that makes them so similar.   "

SUZUMIYA  HARUHI,  haruhi  suzumiya  no  yuutsu.

"   [...]   haruhi’s got this whole quirky,  controlling side,  always wanting things her way because of her vision and interests,  while poppy isn’t quite as intense—  but who knows?  there's still that spark in poppy where you can see a hint of haruhi’s need to steer the ship.  both of them have a knack for getting people to follow along,  even if they do it in different ways.  [...]  it’s that combo of charisma and a touch of unpredictability that makes them so captivating.   "

TIFA  LOCKHART,  final  fantasy  franchise.

"   i think that they are surprisingly similar when they’re in their comfort zones.  both of them share a mentality of blending strength with charm.   [...]   tifa is open and nurturing,  always ready to support her friends while kicking some serious butt.  poppy,  though more reserved and i doubt she can go around kicking butts because she’s an idol and she's under a contract,  has that same underlying vibe.  if you think about it,  poppy might actually mesh well with someone like cloud,  but her personality and mentality are really close to tifa’s.  it’s like they’re two sides of the same coin,  each showing their unique flair but with a fundamentally similar approach to life and relationships.  plus,  poppy literally looks like her!   "

OTHERS.   suuguro  geto  jujutsu  kaisen,  winry  rockbell  and  roy  mustang  fullmetal  alchemist,  veronica  lodge  riverdale,  yae  miko  and  tighnari  genshin  impact,  maka  albarn  and  death  the  kid  soul  eater,  tomioka  giyuu  and  kocho  shinobu  kimetsu  no  yaiba,  kagura  gintama,  rei  hino  sailor  moon,  daria  morgendorffer  daria,  homura  akemi  puella  magi  madoka  magica,  li  syaoran  cardcaptor  sakura

POS.   laid-back,  resourceful,  insightful,  confident,  passionate NEG.   immature,  impulsive,  lazy,  overzealous,  egotistical

JAKE  PERALTA,  brooklyn  nine  nine

"   they are like kindred spirits in the world of not taking things too seriously.  both of them have this laid-back,  sometimes immature attitude that makes them incredibly funny and relatable.   [...]   even though they might joke around and not always be the most serious,  they’re absolute pros at what they do.  they can be goofballs,  but when it comes down to it,  they’re still incredibly skilled and get the job done.  their ability to balance humor with top-notch performance is what makes them very similar.   "

KOMAEDA  NAGITO,  danganronpa  series.

"   [...]   both of them have a way of captivating everyone around them with their unique charm.  nagito’s got that edge of unpredictability and a touch of madness,  but yvan,  while definitely charismatic,  is not on the same level of insanity…   but who knows...  still!  their magnetic personalities and ability to be both compelling and a little bit unpredictable make them quite similar.  they’ve got that special something that makes them stand out, even if yvan's a bit more grounded compared to nagito’s crazy ass.   "

STICKS  THE  BADGER,  sonic  boom

"   sticks and yvan have this blend of quirky energy and unpredictability.  both are known for their eccentric and offbeat personalities,  always keeping things interesting.   [...]   they might express it differently,  but both share that ability to captivate and make us laugh with their one-of-a-kind charisma and off-the-wall energy.   "

IZUMI  KONATA,  lucky  star

"   both of them are so relaxed and easygoing that it sometimes gets them into trouble.  konata’s lazy tendencies and carefree attitude often lead her into all sorts of misadventures,  and yvan shares that same chill demeanor,  though there might not be quite as extreme since they are an idol and have to work,  y’know?...   in a way,  konata could almost be seen as a parallel to yvan,  while kagami,  with her more driven and serious side who is known to scold konata because of her laziness,  fits poppy perfectly.  …you guys remember that one video where poppy was scolding yvan during isac,  right?   "

FURINA,  genshin  impact.

"   they have this strikingly similar vibe when it comes to their outward personalities.  both come across as charismatic and confident,  always putting on a great show.  but underneath that surface,  it feels like there’s a lot more going on.  i am not overanalyzing yvan,  before anyone starts!   "

OTHERS.   ling  yao  fullmetal  alchemist,  bart  simpson  the  simpsons,  rengoku  kyojuru  and  kotetsu  kimetsu  no  yaiba,  sonic  the  hedgehog  sonic  franchise,  black  star  and  patty  thompson  soul  eater,  hirasawa  yui  k-on,  mabel  pines  gravity  falls,  shaggy  rogers  scooby-doo,  naruto  uzumaki  naruto,  gina  linetti  brooklyn  nine  nine,  klee  and  bennett  genshin  impact,  kyoko  sakura  puella  magi  madoka  magica,  lumpy  space  princess  adventure  time,  morgana  persona  5,  phoebe  buffay  friends

"    [...]   and yeah,  i hope you enjoyed this silly little video!  just a reminder,  this was made purely for entertainment.  i’m not trying to overanalyze,  force a trait into them,  or read too much into their personalities because that’s not right.  we don’t know these girls personally.  we’re all just fans here.  we don’t know shit,  and that’s something we shall respect.  this video was just for fun,  to have a little laugh,  and to connect our favorite characters to them.  so,  yeah,  i hope you had a good time hanging out with me while i did my makeup!   [...]   see you next time,  besties,  and don’t forget to leave a little likey like and a comment down below!  bye bye!  stay hydrated and keep being everyone’s besties!   "

[bigtrashdad]

An honest admission about Delaware Pastoral

I want to preface this by emphasizing that the comic is NOT ENDING. This is more of an open conversation about making comics, and what feels like an inevitable burnout. I've reached a complete standstill with DelaPast. When I began posting this comic in 2020, I was positively bursting with drive to complete this story, which has slowely but surely dwindled. This isn't the first time this has happened. I was making a comic from 2014-2018 that let out an excruciatingly slow death-rattle after 53 pages, (which if you do the math, averages about 13 pages per year, in theory). and was eventually just abandoned.

I love comics, and I love making them. I also think it's an extremely strenuous process that takes so. much. time. I'm a perfectionist through and through, and I tend to expect way too much of myself, while also having the attention-span and patience of a gerbil. A very real part of me is ashamed DelaPast hasn't progressed further, and that I've been neglecting it for so long. All while undermining the fact that since this comic's conception I've completed a bachelors, masters and pedagogy degree. I got an email the other day that the website domain is about to expire, and I considered just letting it slowly vanish into the abyss. To just upload the finished script and let people read it for themselves and imagine what could have been. But it wouldn't be fair to anyone who enjoys this comic, to all the work I put in to it these past four years and kind of stupidly, the characters I've come to love so much. But I do need to officially take a step back and seriously reconsider how I'm going to make the comic going foward. This story has always been a dialogue-heavy, actionless, two-hander, which has been an absolute nightmare trying to make "exciting" through storyboards. I might reformat it entirely to be more text heavy, or figure out a way to save more time on each page. Regardless, it's time to finally admit that DelaPast is officially taking a hiatus until further notice. I don't know when it will be back, or how, but it WILL return. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading Delaware Pastoral so far! Elliott and Wentworth will be back soon, I promise :) For now, feast your eyes on this unfinished page, as a little treat.

[nordidia]

I need to preface by saying that the following words are fully complimentary bc when I read it back I realize it sounded kind of insulting and I really really like your work (that's two reallys)

I find that in the... year (?) I've been following you you've inspired me as artist in a lot of ways. You've encouraged me to represent my genuine self in my art more, you've encouraged me to draw for myself more than other people, and, most importantly (and the reason I'm sending u this) you've encouraged me to post unfinished work more. I'm a perfectionist and I get really anxious about starting a comic or drawing but never finishing it, because I think people will think my work doesn't have the heart put in if I never finish it. But you post a lot of art that's kind of "unpolished", and I LOVE it. I reread your raph comics everytime I'm sad and either need cheering up or something I can relate to in that moment. I've never doubted the heart behind your work just because it's a sketch, and it's inspired me to post more, which inspires me to CREATE more. So thanks for being an inspiration, even if you didn't mean to. <3

oh im gonna cry /pos

this means alot to me,,, i realised a while before i got into tmnt that when i stopped caring too much about how well done or polished my comics looked, it was easier to focus on the purpose and expressions. the less lines, the more purpose each single line has. one line can change the entire face, expression, intent behind it. and i really like that!! i decided then to instead brand myself as a "sketch artist", it's more comfortable for me! the love people have for my art also proves to me and everyone else that art doesnt have to be incredibly complicated or intricate to get the message behind the art out.

i really appreciate this, like REALLY REALLY (that's two reallys)

im happy i can influence you to be kinder to yourself and your art, perfect doesnt exist, draw it!!!

i've been pretty mentally stumped comic/art-wise for the past year, but its really nice to hear that my posted art can continue to bring comfort, until i find the time/energy/motivation to draw and post more turtles <3 thank you so much

[velnna]

i fucking LOVE your art so much. I've been trying to learn how to draw myself and it's been going... lets just say badly. do you perhaps have any tips for other artists, especially beginner ones?

Thank you! I've been drawing my whole life so it's hard for me to put myself in the shoes of a full beginner, BUT learning art never stops and I've got a long way to go myself so I'll just give some "tips" that have helped me evolve.

The "finished, not perfect" mantra is always a good one. I used to be a perfectionist and overthink art to the point that I was never satisfied with how it looked and sank a lot of time in. Moving past that mentality to a more "well at least it's done" one really helps, and as you add to your pile of "finished" things your confidence grows too.

Be your biggest fan is a good one, too. Draw what you like because you like it and want to consume it yourself, in a sense? I'm not saying it's not good to consider how others will perceive your work but I think (especially as a hobbyist) it's important to make sure YOU'RE the first one to look at it and go "hell yeah"

And generally speaking, from my experience: you can absolutely stay in your comfort zone for as long as you need, if that's what makes your brain click. Eventually circumstances or boredom might force you out • High resolutions are overrated - it's easy to get lost in details and miss the overall shape or composition of a drawing if your canvas is too big. I draw tiny as shit and it helps me a ton • Playing around with brushes makes a HUGE difference to me and is definitely worth the time to find one that suits your style. Using a brush that doesn't feel right kills my motivation easily, while using a brush that feels great has the opposite effect (in digital art at least) • working smarter not harder is always a good idea lol

[zarvasace]

Shatterproof four splitting and all the colors spend their day with different other links? Maybe Blue with Wind and Wild, Vio with Wars and Hyrule, Red with Time and Legend and Green with Sky and Twillight! (just suggestions, you can mix and match them up maybe?)

I like these suggestions! :)

Just under 1k words—

---

“On your mark,” Wind says, “get set…”

Blue glares at the grassy ground, his muscles taut and brimming with energy. It's been several long weeks since Four split, and he's pent-up. Beside him, Wild’s heel shifts against the ground. 

“Go!” Wind slashes his hand through the air, and Blue and Wild take off. 

The route isn’t long, just across the clearing and back, so Blue is optimistic. It feels so good to stretch out, even if his pain is at a mid-level today. His feet pound against the tall grass and the hard dirt beneath, and though he tries, Wild pulls ahead. 

On the way back, Blue’s foot catches in a divot, and he goes sprawling. He scrapes his elbows but manages to stop himself before he flies too far. The world stops rolling. He stares up at the cloudy sky and sighs. 

Wild skids to a stop. “Blue! You okay?” 

“Fine,” Blue calls back, rolling up to sitting. And then, with a secret thrill of joy that he would never hold over any of the others’ heads, even if they know he feels it, he stands up. “I think I'm just out of practice. And your legs are longer anyway, freak, so you have an unfair advantage!” 

“Hey,” Wild protests, but he laughs. He hasn't made it to the other end of the clearing yet, worried for Blue. Wind raises his eyebrows when he meets Blue’s eyes. 

Blue walks calmly over, letting himself limp just a little. He laughs along with Wild. “It's just been a while since I ran, that's all.”

“Yeah, okay, I'll give you that,” Wild shrugs. 

And then Blue takes off again. He runs the last five or six steps to their designated finish line. “HA! I WON!” 

“Now that's unfair!” Wild says, jogging over. 

Wind collapses into laughter. 

---

At this point, after so many lessons and a lot of practice, Vio is only slightly better at signing than Hyrule. He's very happy for Hyrule, of course, but it does rankle his pride just a little, so he takes up Warriors on his invitation and joins the next little lesson. 

As he observes Warriors and Hyrule have a half-silent conversation, it becomes obvious that their communication is less about learning actual sign words or grammar and more about figuring out how to adapt it for the two of them. Everything Warriors says has to be in contact with Hyrule’s skin, one way or another, so Vio doesn't catch most of that. 

But Hyrule’s signs are pretty normal, since Warriors can see them, except for one thing. 

“That—” Vio starts, then bites his tongue.

“What?” Hyrule says. “Was that wrong?” 

“Um, only in that your spelling is… off.”

“It doesn't matter,” Warriors shrugs, hands flying. “I've figured out his phonetics.”

Vio makes a face. “Wars says it doesn't matter, he knows what you're saying anyway, but the perfectionist in me is frustrated.”

Hyrule laughs. “Sorry. I haven’t ever, you know, learned letters before. I figured I was getting some of it wrong.”

“You know,” Vio says thoughtfully, thinking back to his books at home, “I know there's a type of writing that was developed by people with low vision. I don't know much about it, but I know it exists in my time. I wonder if we could find some of it.”

“Oooooh,” Hyrule says, his eyes widening. 

---

Red picks another dandelion at the base of its stem, close to the ground. “And then you use your fingernail to make a little slit by the flower, like this! You can't make it too big, though.” He demonstrates, smiling at the way both Time and Legend lean in to see better. 

“And then…” He slides the stem of his next dandelion through the hole in the first. “Ta da!” 

“So pretty similar to a normal wildflower chain,” Legend says, copying Red and starting a dandelion chain of his own. “Do you ever put knots in it?” 

Red hums, considering. “No, I think these stems would break. They're tough but don't bend very well.”

“Sort of like Legend,” Time says, smiling. 

Legend huffs, but he can't hide the little smile of his own. “Sure. Whatever.” 

When Red finishes his dandelion chain, he loops it around into a crown and drops it right on Legend’s fluffy head. Legend returns the favor, putting his own dandelion chain on Red’s head, except it's a bit too wide, and it falls to his neck instead. 

Legend’s snort-laugh starts off a round of laughter that Red and Time can't easily shake. 

---

Twilight pulls out the shopping list again, adjusting his hold on the bag that sits over one shoulder as he does so. “So is that everything?” 

“Hm?” Sky says, looking back over at Twilight. “Oh. Yes. I think so.”

Green catches up, weighed down a little by a supply pack of his own on his back and the fact that even using crutches, he’s a bit short. “Wait, no, Wind needs a belt, and I need some more brass rivets.” 

Sky snaps his fingers. “Right, rivets! Hey, Wind didn't say anything about a belt… did he?” He glances at Twilight, who shakes his head.

“Wars keeps inventory,” Green explains. “And I noticed.”

Twilight puts away the shopping list. “Sounds like a trip to the leatherworks, then.”

Green eyes Twilight as he passes. “You could use a new sword belt, too. Let's see if they have anything with the D-rings. If not, I'll make one.” 

“Thanks, Green. What would we do without you?"

"Suffer."

[berlingotesque]

What are your ships for Batim? :D

VERY GOOD QUESTION- I know my answer should be rather straightforward but I feel I have to put some context to my answers since they may seem contradictory/paradoxical otherwise, so bear with me-

Sammy x Norman : Well. I think that one was pretty obvious, anyone who's seen more than 3 of my posts knows that I'd die for these two. They're just so PERFECT for each other, from their complementary personalities to the fact that their relationship allows us to delve deeper into batim's historical and social context. Sammy and Norman have one of the few relationships that develop the most during the game's lore : Norman originally complains vehemently about Sammy's frenetic behavior, only to end up lamenting to Buddy and Dot how 'Sammy isn't the same anymore'. What's interesting about this statement is that he says it in relation to Sammy's strange behavior : clearly, the two men have grown close enough for Norman to differentiate Sammy's extravagant habits from his ink-influenced behavior.

Furthermore, Sammy is a very gray character morally, a perfectionist who is extremely socially maladjusted (surely due to the fact that he's coded on the spectrum and autism wasn't properly diagnosed at the time), naturally ostracizing him. For his part, Norman comes from a rural background (which surely earns him the animosity of the people at the studio, given the historical context and the fact that he could very well be poc) and also seems ill at ease socially : to me, it's fascinating to see two characters excluded from their peers because of differences they can't change (being autistic or poc and gay) getting closer to each other, to the point where Sammy, who is deeply misanthropic, naturally compliments Norman by describing him as very bright. To me, Norman is the perfect partner for Sammy : ready to apprehend him as he is, since he's completely free of social conventions, without taking any shits from him.

I think Sammy and Norman can really get the best out of each other, during a historical period when being different was strongly proscribed. I think I'd have trouble enjoying Batim as much without their dynamic at its heart (considering how narratively rich it is) : Norman is Henry's confidant, Sammy is Joey's, both remain morally gray deuteragonists fundamentally opposed to the ink machine, while remaining fascinated by its powers. And who wouldn't love a good old enemies to lovers ending tragically with the unwitting murder of one by the other ? After all, Norman's main flaw is that he's too curious for his own good, and it was Sammy who inevitably led him to his doom..

Allison x Tom : what more can I add. She's everything. He's just Tom. I've always been drawn to characters/ships with a vibe completely opposite to the vibe of the work they originally came from, and the 'turning poison into positivity' energy that Tom and Allison bring to Batim has always fascinated me. In a world as tragic as their own, I find it touching to see these two find beauty in all the ugliness and manage to ask themselves 'what if we were happy after all ?' It's really striking and brings a narrative richness to the work, since they directly mirror what failed with Sammy and Susie : Allison is perfect, but that was never what was at stake in Tom's eyes. Tom was looking for humanity, not perfection, and he managed to go beyond the image of the muse to discover a friend, unlike Sammy with Susie. They're literally Romeo and Juliet but, well... Not dead.

Joey x Henry/Henry x Linda : oh boy. These three... Let me get it straight right away : Henry and Linda are perfect for each other. She's exactly what he needs to be happy : she's present, patient. There's no denying that he loves her immensely. But Joey... oh Joey is undoubtedly Henry's soul mate. The subtlety is that Joey can't bring him the stable happiness Linda can : Joey tugs at him, pushes him over the edge. He knows exactly what to do to push him beyond his own limits. The love Joey offers Henry is an uncomfortable but unconditional one, one that would allow Henry to go beyond what he thinks he's capable of achieving because no one knows Henry better than Joey ! And let's be honest, Batim only exists because Joey refuses to move on, to live his dream without Henry in it. He's stuck in unrequited love and refuses to learn to live with it. And that's the tragedy of this trio : Henry sincerely loves Linda but is truly himself with Joey, which prevents him from hating OR loving him (And Joey exploits this information by remaining extremely toxic and convincing himself that he can wear him down lmao). Henry is stuck with this dilemma : Existing peacefully with Linda or living painfully with Joey. And that's why I love the dynamic of this love triangle : because there are no solutions that will satisfy everyone.

Joey x Sammy : okay, don’t get me wrong : these two are HORRIBLE for each other. Does Sammy periodically want to quit just to piss Joey off? Yes. Isn't Joey's fascination with Sammy intimately tied to his refusal to forget Henry, who was a genius like Sammy? Yes. Nevertheless, it's impossible for me to read The Illusion of Living without feeling embarrassed and like I'm reading Joey's diary : whether you ship them or not, Joey is practically canonically smitten with Sammy. I sincerely don't think Joey and Sammy can sustain a healthy relationship with each other, but oh boy, surely that won't stop me from exploiting their bizarre obsessive love-hate relationship, where it's hard to determine whether they're going to throw hands or make out.