#i think i've become so detached from feelings idk

[folkloregirlfriend]

i just feel like. i'm happy with my own company or i have very high standards for relationships with people because i don't like anyone and people piss me off very quickly and i let go of them soooo easily it doesn't even matter to me

[astrobydalia]

🪻Lavender Observations🪸

it's pisces season my dudes so here's my fave pisces aesthetic... this music video really spoke to my pisces moon soul so I wanted to pay homage to it. As always enjoy the observations!

work by astrobydalia

.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

🪻✨Capricorn risings are very full of themselves to be honest. They have an overall pleasant reputation and are loved (Libra 10th+Cancer 7th) but for some reason they're actually very individualistic and conceited deep down, like they think of themselves as being 'on other level' than others. I think this is because their shadow revolves around their ego (Leo 8th house) and we all know they love status but unfortunately fame and popularity tends to change them and/or take out their toxic traits (Scorpio 11th house). Basically they’re the type to become extremely entitled individuals just because they’re successful

🪸✨The virgo placement urge to have a harmeless and innocent personality/reputation while also engaging in the most unholy, taboo and sometimes immoral activities behind the scenes............ iykyk

🪻✨I’ve noticed Geminis are what people think Aquarians are??? Idk Aquarius placements are the most chill and unproblematic people I know and typically don’t make any fuss out of their “quirks” or opinions, they’re just living and vibing them on their own. Geminis on the other hand are the chaotic manic pixie girls/boys or the mad scientists with the most random and out of pocket interests and ideas. They always be leaving me like ‘wtf are you talking about?🤨’ They’re also opinionated af and will jump into controversy pretty easily.

🪸✨Oh! And Geminis are WAAAAAAAAYYY more detached than aquarius dude. Geminis are air AND mutable, for them it is extremely easy to move on and detach from things

🪻✨All the people I've met who's had cosmetic procedures done (botox, plastic surgery, fillers, etc) always had libra placements and/or Neptune aspecting the ASC. Overall Venus and Neptune influence is big in people who wanna look like a glossy instagram filter

🪸✨Chiron in the 6th house are HUGE control freaks due to feeling like reality overwhelms them too much, they feel like their life is never sorted out. They are also the type to overwork themselves with pointless things or hyper fixate on short-term goals cause it gives them a sense of control

🪻✨Capricorn placements are attracted to ambition and independence. It is not so much about age difference that they look for, but rather they like it when someone has their own things going on for themselves and has solid life values that they stick to. Capricorn's love language is supporting your ambitions and you doing the same for them so.... they need to see potential in you and with you

🪸✨Libra+Scorpio placements are VERY envious people and tbh I've seen this in everyone who has this mix regardless of how developed they were.... The type to befriend/get close to people they're secretly jealous of to either ruin them or get a taste of what they have. Seriously these natives are never happy with just themselves they're always focusing on how good others' things are

🪻✨People with fire in their big 3 HATE it and get defensive when other people make unsolicited assumptions about who they are or when people assume they can know the native better than the native knows themselves. It’s hard for them to brush that kind of thing off, they don’t like to feel like people are ‘appropriating’ their identity. The type to be like “you don’t know me or my story so stfu”.

🪸✨All of the Scorpio moons I've met had at least a phase in their life where they had a very unhealthy relationship (scorpio) with food (moon)..... They always seem to turn to food when going through a hard time but in a very self-destructive way

🪻✨Sagittarius is as much of an escapist as pisces. They both crave for things to be good, positive and unserious (Jupiter)

🪸✨I’ve noticed women with personal planets in Aquarius usually have very thin and sparse eyebrows and usually enhance them with makeup

🪻✨Natives with Mars in Capricorn are SUPER hairy. A very thick and stunning head of hair and/or noticeable and abundant body/facial hair. Their hair is usually deep and dark as well

.・゜゜��� ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

🪸✨Scorpio Moon men I’ve noticed are attracted to a woman who is a bit cold, mean or is not easy to get to her because it makes him feel like she can handle him and his intensity. They’ll likely commit to a woman that captures his heart in such a way that he knows she can potentially hurt him more than he can hurt her. Deep down they wanna be the softer one in the relationship cause they’re a water moon after all

🪻✨I personally never had any 2nd house synastry relationship that actually involved money (except for business relationships ofc). Instead people who had planets falling in my 2nd house always make me feel like a million bucks frfr 🥺 They made it clear that they valued my opinion, my talents, qualities etc (essentially they valued all I had to offer which is 2nd house themes) and also made me feel like they favored me in many ways, like I'm a part of their top priorities, one of their 'faves' and wouldn't let me go easily. I have to say this turned pretty superficial in some cases on both sides, with 2nd house synastry there's a tendency to think of the person in terms of what they can offer be that money, time, services, advice, skills....

🪸✨That been said, you're more likely to be hired or promoted by people who have their planets in your 2nd house because they value your talent and skills. The best feedbacks I've gotten were mostly from clients who had their planets in my 2nd house

🪻✨Cancer Jupiter gives a very loving and caring husband that will totally adore you and provide for you both emotionally and financially. Husband is bound to be highly emotional and sentimental as well, the type to make it obvious to the world that he is truly in love with you. This is Jupiter's exaltation so this placement really gives Disney's Prince Charming vibes fr

🪸✨I've also noticed Scorpio Jupiter gives a similar kind of husband^ but less Prince Charming and a more 'dark fantasy novel'. This placement is giving Edward Cullen’s “your scent is like a drug to me” vibes when it comes to your husband

🪻✨With debilitated Jupiter (Virgo, Gemini, Capricorn) you might get a husband that is kinda detached and could even be distant or indifferent depending on other aspects or positions. Best case scenario is they love and support you but they are just not good at showing affection for some reason and might provide in more practical/straight forward and less sentimental ways. Again, house position,aspects,degrees, etc will give nuance

🪸✨I find Virgo and Aquarius are so similar in that they’re kinda judgmental of people and also tend to be very detached and analytical

🪻✨A crazy amount of athletes and fitness people have debilitated Mars

🪸✨I've also seen a lot of YouTubers, podcast hosts, etc have Sun-Mercury conjunction which makes a lot of sense lol

🪻✨Moon/Venus in Scorpio/8th house natives have a 'I hate everyone but you' kind of love. They really do have a level of misanthropy in their personality but it's low-key amusing

🪸✨Couples that have this best friends and partners in crime dynamics always have 3rd house synastry, I haven’t really seen 11th house as much… The 3rd house creates a fraternal understanding in a couple, two keen minds thinking alike (Gemini, twins, etc)

🪻✨I’ve actually observed 11th house synastry is pretty messy??? It creates connections (any kind) that are a bit all over the place tbh. You really don’t know if you’re gonna be together forever or fall apart tomorrow. You haven’t talked to each in years now one of you is reaching out like nothing happened and both people are keeping it chill the whole time specially the planet person. I guess this dynamic is okay between friends, colleagues or acquaintances (which is what this house rules) but when it’s a romantic or more intimate relationship…. Like I said it’s just messy, not necessarily bad, it be can refreshing and exciting but it has to be your cup of tea (I assume Air venus/mars people will dig it). You’re always wondering what’s next with this person, it feels like the sky’s the limit. I’ve seen this synastry a lot in couples who make odd decisions in the relationship that make people often question if the couple is actually serious about each other like that or not like being engaged for too long, etc

🪸✨Capricorn moons are extroverted or at least they easily pass as extroverts in social situations. They really stand out to me for having a very defined public persona that they’re mostly known for but they’re not really like that in private at all, you’d be surprised for better or for worse lmao

🪻✨"My love language is all of them" = Leo Venus

🪸✨Virgo placements are just as talkative as Gemini placements, they ramble just as much (Mercury). The difference is Virgo’s speeches are usually more thoughtout and eloquent like a presentation they’ve practiced a hundred times, in fact they tend to talk about the same stuff and repeat the same jokes, themes and rambles in most conversations because they like to stick to what they know (earth). They’re 100% the type to give you an unsolicited lecture on whatever it is they’re interested in. Gemini’s speech on the other hand is usually more spontaneous, random and chaotic, they tend to brainstorm out loud and enjoy finding new ideas in conversations (air). They’re more likely to wonder, play with ideas and ask ‘what if’ questions cause they like to explore the possible connections of different things

.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

🪻✨Pluto-asc aspects/Pluto in the 1st house/Scorpio rising come across as the cool girl/boy. They always have some unattainable energy to them that people secretly look up to and this admiration often translates into jealousy

🪸✨Aries in the big 3 always have something with their forehead. Either they have a big forehead or they have a sacar there etc

🪻✨Capricorn placements work hard and party HARDER. This results in them having a rather fast-paced life style honestly

🪸✨Istg Virgo Moons got a stick up their ass. In their minds they are judge, jury and executioner and never give people grace or just the benefit of the doubt. I don't doubt they're soft deep down but damn they can be very very stubborn and they can get mean easily.

🪻✨Best Virgo placement imo is Virgo mars, I’ve noticed they tend to channel the best traits of virgo (constructive criticism, self-accountability, collaborative, understanding but know what they don’t tolerate)

🪸✨When I first joined Tumblr I read an observation that said Aphrodite (1388) conjunct Mars creates injuries or scars from beauty products and that is SO true! I have this and I've burnt myself several times with curling irons and laser hair removal gadgets

🪻✨All the people I’ve met who loved country music, country life style and that sort of cowboy aesthetic mostly had Sagittarius placements 🤠🐎 (myself included lmao)

🪸✨People with Virgo+Scorpio placements are the most intimidating people I've ever met. Imagine the nitpickyness of Virgo mixed with the intensity of Scorpio.... yeah... not the best at going easy on others or letting people in. Don't test them, they have a “get away from me you fucking scumbag” energy whenever they’re upset or simply dislike something and are the hardest to please. They are very sensitive deep down tho, very sweet and selfless if they genuinely like you.

🪻✨Sagittarius is the master, teacher, guru and guide so it makes a lot of sense for the Sagittarius Pluto generation to be hung up and obsessed (pluto) with influencers, life coaches, etc (sag)

🪸✨Moon in the 3rd house natives tend to make vey quirky movements and gestures with their mouth/jaw when they speak or they're very expressive with their mouth like they may grimace or pout a lot

🪻✨Cancer Mars men are huge mamas boyzzzz!! The type to be completely dependent on their moms/wives to even fry an egg and provide overall home security. They will marry a dominant woman who is fully or mostly in charge of the house and family stuff

🪸✨Speaking of, men with domicile or exalted mars (Aries, Scorpio, Capricorn Mars) can be huge assholes if underdeveloped. If immature they can channel toxic masculinity since mars feels very comfortable here it could go a bit overboard and give fuckboy vibes. The type to be very controlling, inconsiderate and always feel entitled to sex

🪻✨On the opposite end, men with debilitated mars (Libra, Taurus, Cancer Mars) are super chivalrous and often present themselves as very polite, thoughtful and modest. Very popular among women for sure. They can be players and have huge ego too if not mature but even then their energy is very inviting

🪸✨Fire moons process their feelings by letting things out in the moment as they come either through anger, humor or simply speaking their mind. They can often appear rude when expressing something that they feel very strongly about but they'll always value authenticity above anything else

🪻✨Earth moons process their feelings by creating a course of action. Like they internally make a plan for things they will do in oder to make themselves feel better, fix their issue or fulfill their needs on a long-term/permanent basis. They could develop a whole personal system or life style that caters to their emotional needs

🪸✨As we all know Air Moons process their feelings by rationalizing their emotions. Ironically, this can make them lack some emotional intelligence because they put so much focus on their feelings making sense that they don't allow themselves to feel their feelings and figure out what genuinely feels right for them

🪻✨Water moons process their feelings by fully owning their emotions. They find comfort in the mere validity of their own feelings which is why they often have this tendency to victimize themselves, blame others for their issues and constantly look for sympathy

🪸✨I’ve very very very often seen Sagittarius/Jupiter in 7th house, Sagittarius Groom/Juno/Briede creates age gap with spouse!!! As mentioned, Sagittarius is the master and guide of the zodiac so with the influence of this sign in your marriage you are bound to have a teacher-student dynamic where either one of you has much more life experience specially in relationships

.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡.・゜゜・ ・゜゜・． ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡

work by astrobydalia

[sabahs-stuff]

Manifest appearance change. (Weight loss/gain)

(Success story)

❏First and foremost, Yeah, I know you shouldn't let go of your manifestation. Like detaching from your manifestation bla bla..

However, I have noticed that actively affirming appearance change is difficult for me because I love looking at my reflection in the mirror all the time. And I've to constantly remind myself to affirm. Every time I affirm, one of my inner voices started stating the opposite.

I weighed 47kg (I'm 5'3; I know it's the ideal weight, but I wanted to gain a little more). It was difficult for me to eat more. I believe it was about April 14 or 15. I decided to quit trying to eat more. I started to joke that I was gaining weight without eating,"are u kidding me? I'm eating nothing and also skipping dinner these days, so how tf am I gaining weight?" Some of my friends even laughed at me.🙂

Then, out of nowhere, my sister began complaining that I had gained weight, then few days ago I went to the doctor for a checkup, and they also measured my weight, it's 51KG now. Mind you, I skipped a lot of meals and wasn't eating at all. It was during the Mercury retrograde. I was quite depressed and saddened also someone so close to me died. But it took me like 10 days to gain 4kg. If that's not shocking idk what is.

So, this is what I did (��_•)

Reminder : "If you could make yourself believe that you have the exact appearance you desire, it would change"

Every time I ate, I told myself, "I should be dieting." And look at what I'M doing. I should start working out before it's too late. And that is all. Then I didn't even affirm anything during the day, ( I believe that if you make your brain believe that you're prettiest little creature on the planet and your existence is a service to the humanity then that's how it would be. And my toxic trait is that I believe my presence is a blessing to the humanity.😂

every time I looked in the mirror, I said, "Wtf? I'm gaining weight . "Shit, I need to diet." And trust me when I tell you at that exact moment your brain is going send you a thought "Stop lying; you're still skinny bitch"

But don't forget that you get to select what happens in your reality. If your mind wants to offer you lemons, make lemonade.😂

I said, "Yes, that's correct. If I want to lose my weight I need to affirm I'm still skinny" and I kept on saying "I need to lose weight or I'll gain more weight" just tricked my brain into thinking that I'm chubby and attempting to manifest becoming skinny. And I didn't focused on the end goal; I wasn't obsessed with it; I didn't give a damn about it, but whenever I noticed a little change, I freaked out as if something terrible had happened. And believe me when I say I freaked out it was Oscar worthy😂

I Remember, the first thing I noticed was that my arm was looking a bit chubby. I was screaming and even fake crying, 😭 "Damn this is embarrassing, I need to work out, I'm gaining weight." I then searched and downloaded weight loss workouts online.

Trust me I was living the moment 😂. literally living in the end. It was easy at the time because my brain was literally blank. I had no feelings or emotions, so I fed my brain whatever I wanted, and it ate every thought I gave it. I'm happy with my weight now.

I'm now 51kg this is just a photo I saved from Pinterest but this is my Desired type-

Here are some tips:

Your appearance is constantly changing with your affirmations and beliefs. So don't doubt whether this is going to work or not. 

Your manifestation will take time, depending on you and your beliefs.

And about mental health, I would post about it later, but it's important.

The more you visualize, the faster it will become a reality.Visualise everything; literally, everything you want, VISUALIZE 🙌 stay in your head

The amount of things I changed and manifested in my life is crazy; it's different for each person. But it took me a year to fully understand manifestation. So give yourself time. Spend time with yourself; the better you know yourself, the better you'll get in manifestation. Best advice: talk to yourself (in your head, of course, or others would think you're crazy, lol 😹.)  gossip with yourself; if you want to be tall tell yourself that you're tall and stick to it refuse to let go. ✊🏻

Hope you like it. It's my first ever post but clearly not the last 😉 feel free to ask any questions. 🩷

[4dkellysworld]

hi! wanted to start of by saying thank you for all that you do. you are the only one who's active that i follow out of the 4dbarbie 'universe' (lol i can't think of another word than that 😆)

there is something i wanted to ask that i've always been battling in my head. to practice surrendering/detachment, one must let go of circumstances and outcomes, but sometimes i feel like it's impossible to do that. idk if it's because of the lack of trust that i have in this knowledge or the fear of doing so and losing control leading to a worser outcome. maybe a combo of both aha. but this becomes very prominent when it's during deadlines or important work functions. sometimes i think if i didn't work or if i wasn't a student id have an easier time detaching.

but that's where i am at now. ive read loads of books, blogs, reread them but idk why i just fully put the pedal on it. i tried to go for a day without thoughts and letting that sense of doership but i think i was so stuck on the outcome that i was instantly out of this detachment phase. eeek so sorry for this long rambly ask but what is your advice on this if you don't mind me asking 😅 i just feel so lost 😵‍💫

Thanks but I'm not really on here all that much so I don't know if I'd call myself 'active'. I find it helpful to have periods where I'm less engaged with social media in general but I basically come back when I feel a spontaneous 'calling' lol so here I am now!

My advice would be to firstly, just try observing or noticing the thoughts/feelings/experience whenever 'strong attachment' comes up, don't force yourself to detach or fight it, simply just observe/notice it for what it is without adding any dialogue/labels/stories to it or engaging with the mind. This can be enough at times. You're just noticing you're already detached and it's just the thought/story itself that makes you feel like you're attached. If this doesn't help, then consciously choosing to let go of that thought/story should do it (see next step).

Secondly, start small with things that feel more achievable when it comes to letting go - you don't have to be perfect at it from the start. E.g. when you barely miss the bus/train on the way to work, when you're running late and run into another obstacle, or someone in public was rude to you for no reason - things like that where often there's a knee-jerk reaction but if you bring yourself back to present awareness, it's easier to make a conscious choice to let go of it all compared to things that have more deeply rooted attachments to. It's having an acceptance that you can't do anything about it (it is what it is), it's out of your control so you're willingly choosing to just let it go and there's a real freedom in that. It gets easier the more you practice and live this way. Drop all expectations. Just try practicing this for a while before you try to go all in.

Third, this isn't something I learned from reading but something I came intuitively to practice. It helped me personally and blu-ora also talked about it. Yes it's all about trust. This helps if you already have some working intuition/knowing or faith in a greater intelligence that all of Life operates on, it doesn't matter what you call it.. God, Universe, Self etc. Basically it's easier to let go when you trust that it will be taken care by God/Universe/Self. And it's easier to trust when you already do trust, not because you have to but because you genuinely choose to. If this isn't something present yet, you can build it up by focusing on practicing the previous step, as you let go of small things and decide to trust that things will be okay, as things turn out to be okay, the trust will build. The key is to not have any expectations, just have an underlying trust/knowing/understanding that things will be taken care of without your active involvement/control even if you don't know how things will unfold and you don't need to worry or fear it so it's okay to let it go and move on. Again, start with small things that feel available and then as it builds, the trust will serve and allow you to let go of more and more, including things that previously felt impossible to let go of. Be like Dory!! I recommend watching Finding Nemo and Finding Dory because besides being fun stories, it's about having trust and faith even when things feel lost and hopeless (I find spiritual meaning in most things I read/watch now lol).

Fourth, let go of all the 'it would be easier if ______' thoughts, it is what it is. It doesn't help having thoughts like that, we all work with what we are dealt with (which is just what we chose for ourselves on some level).

Lastly, this was mentioned in step 3 but let go of all expectations. I was watching part of a video on a summary for the book Atomic Habits and it mentioned something that I felt could be applied to spiritual practices too. See this handy graph below. Basically, most people have expectations on progress being linear when they start something new while most often progress when starting out is more like that curved line, and at the start it often feels like no progress is made at all, it's almost imperceptible. This is what leads to most people quitting before they see any substantial progress, because their expectations don't line up with actual results which leads to the valley of disappointment, and they falsely believe they're not getting anywhere or won't get anywhere. Even the masters said to let go of all measuring of progress and results and just focus on the practice itself in the present - the results will take care of themselves. It's the expectations and constant measuring of progress that hinder progress.

[brucewaynehater101]

With the tim hanahaki disease, do you think he'll ever get his emotions back? A lot of fics I read do give them emotions back

The prompt being discussed is from this earlier ask!!!

Hmm.... So, my initial direction with this is a cool Lazarus Pit idea I've seen.

There are some cool AUs where Tim gets dunked into the pit at some point and thus gets a version of Pit Madness (whether or not Pit Madness exists is up to the material).

In a few particular Pit Mad!Tim AUs, Tim's Madness presents itself as coldness and detachment. Instead of becoming angry, he's unable to express care or be distracted from his goals. He becomes callous, cruel, and distant from loved ones.

This was the idea I was working with for this hanahaki disease AU.

Tim gets dunked by the Pit and loses his ability to love others or care beyond his goals (he wants to protect people/his family, but he can't feel love for them).

This leaves a ton of options open. Does Pit Madness ever fade? Is Tim able to learn to control his Pit Madness so that the coldness/distance is more of a flare-up than a constant state? If the Pit Madness fades, does the hanahaki return?

I'd be down to explore any or all of these options ^^

On the other hand, I did see a cool reblog for this AU idea, however, where Ra's decided to perform the emotion removing surgery on Tim while taking out his spleen.

That is a completely valid and separate take for this. Idk much about emotions returning after the surgery, but I'm guessing it would be like tonsils? Tonsils can technically grow back after you remove them, so maybe whether emotions return is an unpredictable phenomenon?

Tons of angst :)

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

I know the answer could possibly be a spoiler but

Is Janus meant to be a villain or not??? I'm assuming they are because they literally admitted to MURDERING clones we didn't see because they were "genetically inferior" (obvious disgusting behavior) and have generally been an extremely toxic presence in the lives of the other characters. but you've been giving kinda mixed signals?? I know there's nuance but I'm. Worried. Because I've seen commewnity artists reveal some very ableist and/or abuse-endorsing behavior/beliefs under a friendly facade and it's concerning me. I don't think YOU would do that, but a surprising amount of people completely missed the message of the first pokemon movie so. Idk I'm worried.

Firstly, if anything I create comes off as ableist and/or abuse endorsing that is ENTIRELY unintentional and does not reflect my views at all. Apologies if you feel that way but know it was never my intent to give off that vibe.

Under a read more because this got a bit long…

To put it very simply, Janus is not meant to be a villain. Janus was never meant to be an antagonizing force and if they come off as such then that is a failure on my part. I’ll do my best to address your concerns but again apologize if my explanations don’t clear it up 😔

Please keep in mind Janus stems a lot from the original translation of the first movie, where Mew does see clones as inferior beings. I won’t deny that originally this was Janus’ mindset when first introduced. This isn’t a view current Janus holds and I need this to be understood. They’ve grown since their introduction.

Though yes Janus did hold this view, it’s become very complex given their nature. Janus is parent to all life, even clones. They weren’t happy about the clones existing, but this stemmed a lot more from humans and their intentions which, more often than not, have never been good.

On an semi-related note, despite being more aggressive towards human made clones due to what corruption humans could pass onto them, Janus was shown to be (at the very least since they had not gone through any development yet) tolerant of Mnemosyne, even respecting their desire to live peacefully and offering to train them so they would be prepared when the mittens came.

Apologies if I am wrong, but I’m a bit confused as to what you mean by them being an extremely toxic presence. While admittedly Janus is not the traditional kind and bubbly many seem to expect from Mew characters, they haven’t gone out of their way to be an extremely toxic presence. If anything they’ve taken a more neutral/passive but positive leaning position. They’ve helped Mnemosyne, they’ve helped Calliope, they’ve helped Bellatrix, they’ve begun to put forth the effort to actually be in their son and granddaughter’s lives despite their rough history. Janus is trying to be better.

Unfortunately Janus is a character I fear I will never be able to portray correctly because they have a viewpoint that no one could ever hope to experience/understand. They’re old, older than time itself. Their perception of time and morality are complicated, yet at the same time they’re so detached from the mortal experience that they’re like an infant when it comes to their understanding of the complexities of life. However they’re allowing themself, through becoming involved in those complexities via the Mirage Island crew, to grow and learn.

I understand if you hate Janus for what they did and do not forgive them, I’m not asking that of you. All I ask is that you understand Janus is a deeply complex character, but they were never meant to come off antagonistic towards the Mirage Island crew, especially at this point in the story.

[faunandfloraas]

my unpopular opinion, i think flat earth is totally plausible. i've seen theories where there are like 20 other continents outside of the 7 that we know. our 7 are completely surrounded by a strip of land, obviously forming a circle, called antarctica. it's forming a wall of sorts, blocking our 7 continents from the 20 other contents on the other side and our 7 continents are trying to keep those other 20 a secret from it's inhabitants for some reason... why else would every country agree to make it illegal for normal citizens to travel to antarctica? they're either doing something they don't want anybody to know about, they've discovered something they don't wan anybody to know about, or they don't want anybody to know about the world outside of our 7 continents. i know there's like proof from space and whatnot that the earth is a sphere, i do believe that but i still feel like flat earth with more than just 7 continents logically makes sense.

i also think the american moon landing was faked. countries were in a race to get to the moon first and the american government faked it so they could say they got there first.

i also believe cats are aliens, there was a race of cat aliens that came to earth and helped egyptians build the pyramids and that's why they worshiped cats. the tops of pyramids were their space crafts and that's why the pyramids do not have their tops anymore, because the cat aliens left earth in their space crafts but they left domesticable cats behind.

octopus are also aliens, they have alien dna.

i whole heartedly believe that they replaced biden with a lookalike, you can see subtle differences (and not subtle differences, nobody becomes president with detached earlobes only to end their term with attached earlobes). also the american government has been taken over by a species of lizard alien/people, other countries governments (like russia's) as well.

avril lavigne was also replaced by a lookalike.

now some honestly more believable ones... i think yellowstone is going to erupt within the next few years, taking out entire middle section of the united states. i wouldn't say it's due for a cataclysmic eruption, volcanoes can't be predicted like that. but the magma levels have risen 3 inches per year for the past 3 years.

the san andres fault is also due for a major earth quake, one that with change the united states (at least) forever. the entire west coast of the country is going to fall into the ocean which will cause a huge tsunami either to the united states or it will travel as far as japan, taiwan, and the philippines... possibly even indonesia, papua nuew guinea, and australia - plus all the smaller islands in between.

i actually don't know if these would be considered unpopular opinions but they're my opinions and idk how many other people believe any of this is true.

[itgr]

ITGR and the Aromantic and Asexual Spectrum

aka a long, pretentious, non coherent, semi analytical ramble I took a month to make about ITGR and how aspec coded it feels to me. Brought to you by someone who re read the series three times in the last nine months

I was originally going to write about how aspec coded every character feels individually in reference to this post but then I realised, I've always found that ITGR as a general narrative and comic had aspec vibes and I couldn't pin point why until recently. So I wrote this analysis (?) dissecting different patterns I noticed with characters and the general narrative themes and why it just feels aspec to me.

Obligatory disclaimers and preface: I will be using "aspec" as a shorthand term for both the aromantic and asexual spectrums (I will use "acespec" when talking about the asexual spectrum and "arospec" when talking about the aromantic spectrum specifically). I'm not trying to claim any of this was intentional on the part of Grave or trying to speculate that Grave is secretly aspec. I know a lot of the things I view as aspec coding could be explained away by a character's trauma or implied mental illness but I'm going to be largely viewing things through an aspec specific lens for the sake of this specific analysis (also aspec people can have mental illnesses or trauma that can feed into eachother and that doesn't take away from the fact they're aspec or vice versa).

This is all just a very aspec centered interpretation of ITGR and I'm not trying to claim it's the "correct" or "only" way to interpret the comic (also i will be sprinkling in aspec headcanons here and there and you will just have to deal with that, sorry <- some characters dont have specific orientations that come to mind for me. they're just somewhere on the ace/aro spectrums/hj). Some of this is based on 'evidence' in the text or like narrative implications and framing and the other half is based on vibes/hj and, I can not stress this enough, just because I headcanon a character with a specific label doesn't mean I think the character would ever use that label or even know what that label is. It's more about finding a term I think generally describes how I interpret that character as experiencing attraction

Word count: 4869

Part 1 : ITGR and the Performative Nature of Love and Attraction

Idk, there's just something about the way love and attraction are represented in this comic that feels aspec? Unlike a lot of other stories, I've read, ITGR kind of portrays love and attraction in such a detached manner I can't quite describe, especially early on. Love's ironically not romanticised and is either portrayed as something fucked up or as something performative with some exceptions (more on those later). Let's start with the examples in which attraction is portrayed as performative, starting with the most obvious example: Satan.

Satan spends most of his time, taunting and toying with his reapers in a number of ways with various levels of flirtation, with Scarlet being the one he flirts with the most. He makes a lot of passes and allusions to love with her because he likes toying with her and is really possessive over her. In some scenes, especially early on, he comes across more like a jealous ex-boyfriend than he does a boss. The way Satan acts around Scarlet and Brook is so interesting because I honestly dont believe Satan actually wants to be worshipped or that he has any attraction to Scarlet. He's just a bored million year old being who's trying to have fun, and he's doing whatever he thinks will make them uncomfortable because that's fun to him. This becomes more apparent with the fact that the only time we ever see him be uncomfortable is in Episode 94 when he's meeting with Ashe. Ashe (at this point) is someone who practically worships him and treats Satan how he implies he wants Scarlet or Brook to treat him. And he hates it.

Its so interesting that when Satan's given something he has been implied to "want" this whole time, he absolutely hates it and is uncomfortable. Which signals to me that he doesn’t flirt with Scarlet or mess around with Brook because he genuinely wants them to submit or because he actually wants Scarlet to fall for him. He does it because he enjoys the fun of getting reactions out of people and he likes being entertained. He likes the chase but I don't think he'd be happy long term if they ever actually completely submitted and did everything he claims he wanted. Something about the way Satan does sexual and romantic coded things in a performative way without actually wanting anything feels so aspec coded to me (diversity loses! the worst person you know is acespec and aromantic coded!).

The other most obvious example to me is Azrael (I have a separate already semi written ramble about the general queer coding in Azrael's character, but that's for another day). He's probably the other only character in ITGR that is as openly flirty as Satan and despite that, all of his scenes flirting with people just convinces me he's not interested in the people he flirts with😭. All his scenes flirting with Celeste and Bernadette feel performative and hollow because of the fact that he doesn't seem to be genuinely interested in them romantically or sexually. He knows how and when Celeste and Bernadette are going to die and I think flirting with them is either a way for him to either please them and make them happy before they die or a way for him to entertain himself or both. Like his interactions don't read to me as "Oh guy flirting with women because he wants to date them/have sex with them because he thinks they're hot." They read to me as "guy who wants to have such much fun as he can and explore as many possibilities as he can with people he knows are going to die." His entire date with Celeste was essentially a way for him to learn more about her and almost 'test' the extent of her loyalty to God because he was curious. When Bernadette dies, there's no romantic element to him comforting her at all, despite the fact he spent so much of their interactions flirting with her.

The only other person we ever see him 'flirt' with is the princess from his time being alive and even there, at no point do we get any narration of how he feels about her or any comments about having feelings for her. It's heavily implied he was only being romantic with her by agreeing to marry her because he wanted her to have one good thing before she died so her death wouldn't be as painful. I have a theory/interpretation that to Azrael, there's an inherent relation between flirting and death and that he only flirts with people if he knows when they'll die (even if the flirting isn't genuine on his part). This idea is supported by the fact that post season 4 and Nyra destroying his ability to see the future and how she'll die, he doesn't flirt with her at all (which also more evidence that his interest in her was never genuine). Anyways, because of the performative nature of his flirtation with different characters, he's aspec coded to me (and he likes men but that's for another ramble).

I think the other example of a character expressing attraction only to reveal romance/sex isn't what they're after is surprisingly Wrynn? I have less compelling case for her compared to the others but I find it interesting that it would have been very easy to just make her in love with Ashe in a conventional romantic and sexual way but no. She doesn't want to date him. She wants to go back to being one with him (something something love as consumption but we don't have time for that). Episode 182 sets them in such a specific way (by giving them a lot of romantic and sexual tension and also an almost kiss) but even then, the reason she's doing all of that is so he can eat her and they go back to sharing a body because that's probably what an ideal relationship is like to her. I guess to me, having a character have so many signifiers of conventional allo (aka not aspec) attraction only to reveal they're actually not after sex or conventional romance and more into their own unconventional form of romance (if you can call it that) feels very aspec to me.

I've just noticed this consistent pattern with characters performing acts to signify attraction only to subvert that but either implicitly or explicitly showing that sex or romance isn't what they're after and it'd be one thing if it was one character (i'd still argue that this hypothetically character would be aspec but it'd be an isolated case) but the consistent pattern is borderline fascinating to me? It just creates such an interesting narrative and almost world? In a lot of media, romance and sex are just considered normal or expected but here, in ITGR, they're really not. Characters can perform attraction but that doesn't take away from the fact that more often than not, they're usually interested in something else and I dont know, I've always found it interesting.

Part 2: ITGR and the Horror of Attraction

I feel like a lot of media treats romantic relationships and attraction as generally good things that can be fucked up but usually when it is, it's framed an isolated event and I find it interesting how ITGR highlights a lot of the more fucked up aspects in romance and relationships. ITGR doesn't frame love as something inherently good or benevolent and I think there's something about that just feels aspec to me. I'm not trying to say romance or sex are inherently bad or fucked up. I just think that, like with anything, there is a certain amount of horror that can be drawn from and created from the concepts of attraction and I feel like the potential horror of romantic relationships (not necessarily even abusive relationships. Just the horror that can be drawn from the concept of being in a romantic/sexual relationship or being in love), or the ways love can be warped and turned into something terrifying is something that stands out more to aspec people than allo people if that makes sense.

I feel like ITGR frames love and attraction as something capable of being bad and hurting people as much as anything else. Jordan, the first sinner Scarlet ever kills, uses romantic flirtation as a weapon to lure women and kill them. It highlights the darker flipside of flirting and how flirting, something very common in romantic and sexual situations which is usually seen as positive or alluring, can be used to lower someone's guard and commit harm and violence. The reversal of using something romantic/sexual that is usually used to make characters look cool or charismatic only to use it highlights how dangerous it can be in a specific context has aspec undertones to me.

Another example is how ITGR deconstructs parts of the tsundere trope in Chase's past in Episode 15 and showcases the darker aspects of being in love. Here, love isn't framed as a good and positive emotion, it's framed as something fucked up that can leave you vulnerable to abusive and harmful situations because of the ways it can make you idealise someone which can make you blind to their abusive behaviour. I find it interesting how ITGR deconstructs some parts of the tsundere trope (aka a trope where a character acts cold and hostile to their love interest but gradually opens up) by showing how someone who is constantly mean and demeaning and physically abusive to you can be harmful. I find it interesting specifically because I feel like tsundere characters' hostile actions are sometimes justified by people using the fact they're in love, which implies that just because they're in love, it justifies them hurting someone, therefore framing love as a benevolent force that can excuse certain bad actions as long as they're for the sake of love. (BTW I feel like saying: I don't think the tsundere trope is a bad character trope. I think it depends on the execution and just find the way ITGR handles it to be interesting T-T). In this episode, ITGR instead implicitly claims that love can't justify bad actions, which further its grander treatment of viewing love as an emotion as any other, instead of putting it on a pedestal or treating it with extra importance like a lot of other media.

I think the other main example of ITGR highlighting a fucked up side to the concept of love is Liam's entire character. Liam's spiral after he realises Ana is dead is both terrifying and tragic. Liam killing an innocent man so he can be with her takes something that in some contexts would be seen as romantic (the fact that someone would be willing to go to such great lengths for someone they love) and twists it to an extreme to highlight how terrifying it is that love can be so all consuming that it warps someone's values and makes them do terrible things in the name of love. I feel less strongly about this but I also feel like there's something mildly horrifying about the fact that he's willing to do this for someone might not returns his feelings. Something about him assuming they were meant to be, despite never asking her, kinda also hits that "love as something horrific" horror spot but I feel like that's a weaker point.

ITGR just consistently frames love like another other emotion that has the capacity to do harm and in contrast to the way most media places extra importance or goodness on love and relationships, ITGR views it in a very detached perspective that feels very aspec to me and I hoped I managed to express that idea with these examples.

Part 3: ITGR and OOPS! THE MAIN COUPLE'S REALLY QUEERPLATONIC AND ASPEC (coded)!

Okay so up to this point, you might be thinking "Wait, what about Scarlet and Chase? They're the main characters and they're in love and are explicitly sexually attracted to each other" and to that, I say "Well yes, but no, but yes"/lh. I'm going to preface this by saying that this is probably going to be the most incomprehensible and hard to explain part of this analysis (?). When I said there's a few exceptions to ITGR framing love as something performative or fucked up, they're one of the main examples (I WROTE THIS BEFORE VER AND EVERETTE OOPS). Chase and Scarlet's romantic and sexual feelings for eachother are framed positively and tragically, you're supposed to be rooting for these two little doomed by the narrative dorks. That being said, they're both aspec as fuck 😭 sorry, not sorry, the aspec agenda doesn't end I'm afraid. I'll start with Scarlet because my interpretation of her is a lot more based on tangible evidence (while Chase is half based on vibes tbh/hj). She reads to me as demisexual and some flavour of arospec (greyromantic or even demiromantic). I think it's largely the fact she doesnt really seem to experience sexual attraction towards anyone, including Chase, until way later on. You could argue it didn't even start appearing until after she left the 9th layer (so it took her 25+ years to start experiencing sexual attraction towards someone she has romantic (?) feelings for). I know that you could probably argue that it's a trauma thing but that doesn't take away from the interpretation (demisexual people can have trauma and still be demisexual).

I feel less strongly about her being greyromantic but I still feel like that's another possible interpretation. It's mostly because I can't really see her being attracted to anyone? I think I know why scarlets orientation is hard for me to pin down. I think it's because I can't really imagine her being interested in men or women?? Like, I'd make sapphic jokes about her but I honestly just don't think she'd be interested in women. Or men. Honestly I feel like she's not attracted to any gender. If she ever is "attracted" to someone it's because they're someone who gets close to her and she's grown an attachment to them. Like she'd still be in love with chase if he was a girl. But also, I don't think she's attracted to any specific gender or any gender in general but also has the capacity to like any gender and I feel like calling her pan just doesn't fit so. Um. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed my unlabelled Scarlet side tangent. All of that being said, her not really feeling attraction for anyone except one person and it has to be someone she's formed a pre existing strong bond with…. Yeah. Need I say more/hj. (The unlabelled demisexual arospec Scarlet agenda is real)

Now onto Chase, also known as the vibe check. I'm going to be honest, something about him screams aromantic allosexual to me in a way I can barely convey. I think it's maybe the way when he talks about his ex, he talks about how hot she is, instead of talking about what parts of her personality attracted him to her. Also, I might be projecting but something about him canonically having a lot of failed relationships also just kind of contributes to the aroallo vibes I get (I'm not saying every aroallo person is going to inherently have dysfunctional relationships but I am saying it's not an uncommon experience for aromantic people to have a lot of past relationships that didn't work out due to "something" feeling off. Gestures). There's also the fact that while Scarlet takes a while to show any overt signs of physical or sexual attraction towards him (I was gonna say, this is except for her blushing when she sees him shirtless in Episode 13 but I went back and no she doesn't so demi Scarlet is so real), he does it a lot sooner than her and I don't know, there's something about how his feelings for her derive more from the fact he sees her as his equal or even above him while he struggles with human connection and attachment with most people and how his expression of romantic love isn't really conventional which feels very aromantic and queerplatonic to me. I guess I've always interpreted Chase having queerplatonic feelings for Scarlet that are romantic adjacent (Not saying all queerplatonic relationships are the same as romantic relationships, it heavily depends on the people in the relationship and how they feel and I just think Chase seems like a romance favourable aromantic person who'd label their queerplatonic feelings as romantic <- I don't think any of these characters know what the aromantic spectrum is, much less what queerplatonic relationships are. I just feel like, if we wanted to be technically, Chase's feelings for Scarlet, to me, aren't really romantic but I think he'd feel comfortable labelling them as such. I hope that made sense). To be fair, in a comic where like, over the half the main cast is heavily coded with at least one cluster b personality disorder/hj (I might make a post of how many characters in this comic have cluster b coded traits or symptoms as someone with two cluster b disorder but that's for another day), it makes sense that a lot of the connections and attachments characters make feel unconventional because a lot of these characters have issues related to attachment but even that, I'd argue that doesn't take away from the aspec reading.

Ever since I started reading ITGR back when season one and two were coming out, I'll never forget just. Not seeing the romance between Scarlet and Chase at all and being jumpscared when it became overtly canon because there was always something about their romance that felt, for lack of a better word, empty (NOT IN A BAD WAY) to me? And I just couldn't articulate what it was about their interactions and romance that felt so off and unconventional to me until now. I think it's partially also because of the way all their romantic scenes pre the season three finale focus more on affirming how much they care about and are attached to eachother as people, rather than how "in love" they are? And also the way their main forms of affection is hugs or physical touch and there's not really any "OMG O////O ARE WE ABOUT TO KISS???/!??@?@?" moment. Even in Episode 42, when we get a bit of a kiss tease, there's not blushing on either of their ends and Chase is talking more about how much he cares about her as a person and how much he's come to respect her and how even he, someone who in a way views himself as superior to most people and tries to position himself as someone worthy of deciding what's just and what isn't, has come to view her the ultimate judgement and he respects that (THAT WAS MORE INTIMATE THAN ANY LOVE CONFESSION BUT WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT). And even when he says he wants to see her in the eyes when she kills him, it's more about wanting to see her as a person before she dies. There's love there but it feels different than romantic love to me. Like, it's so intimate and unconventional and something about how we're four seasons in and they haven't kissed yet and the way their entire relationship is written and the way they express love and attachment to eachother has major queerplatonic undertones to me.

There's just something about how the main romance in this comic has a surprising lack of emphasis on romance. Anyways, I love my little murderous aspec people in a romantic QPR/lh.

Part 4: ITGR and The Aromantic One and the One That Wasn't (aka ITGR and the Devastation of Amatanormativity)

Amatanormativity is the common belief and societal assumption that everyone desires to be in a monogamous romantic and sexual relationship and marriage and it has caused a lot of pain to a lot of people but aspec people specifically (it's similar to heteronormativity and gay people). There are two examples of ITGR critiquing amatanormativity and highlighting how much pain it can cause, one indirect and one direct. Critiques and depictions of the harm amatanormativity causes are generally hard to find in most media and are mostly confined to media explicitly centered around aspec people and that's why it's actually surprising to me that (while I don't think it was intentional at all), on top of all the aspec undertones ITGR has, it also directly and indirectly critiques a societal expectation that inherently hurts and deeply affects aspec people.

I'm actually surprised I made it this long without talking about Brook at all. That being said, there's actually one character I need to talk about before I talk about him: Ana. Despite Brook being the explicit and more blatantly canon example of an aromantic character, Ana's backstory indirectly represents a common issue aspec people face. I know it's later revealed by Liam in Episode 48 that the man Ana married was a man she hadn't met prior but I still think there's a way to interpret her backstory through an aspec lense (Misogyny definitely has a part to play in Ana's backstory but I don't think misogyny being a factor takes away from an aspec interpretation of it and vice versa). There's just something quintessentially aspec to me about Ana's horrified face in episode 11 when we see her and her fiance as she remarks that she "didn't feel anything".

Her entire life fell apart because her abusive parents pushed amatanormativity onto her. It's the way she literally tries to tell them she doesn't want to get married or have children (implying she was happy being single and pursing her writing career) and they dismiss her and call her stupid and tell her that every woman wants to get married. They dismiss the notation anyone (any woman specifically) could be happy without marriage, or a relationship. Ana decides to do what they say and I know it's never explicitly shown but I think she wanted to believe they were right and that she'd develop feelings for her husband and be happy eventually if she just conformed and did what they said. It's possible she could have felt like she was wrong (or. broken/hj) and that she wanted to believe that marriage would "fix" her and make her happy (because society and amatanormativity consistently pushes the idea that marriage = happiness) and that would explain the horror in her face when she realised she didn't feel anything. It's also further supported by her line "Where was that happiness I was promised?". Her parents, society and amatanormativity literally kept telling her that she couldn't be happy if she stayed single and childless and sold her the idea that getting married would fix her and make her happy and that destroyed her life and, regardless of if Ana was supposed to represent an aspec struggle, it still stands as indirect commentary on how amatanormativity can hurt people who don't want to be married (or in relationships) (semi related but I personally headcanon Ana as aroace or arospec asexual ^^).

And with that said, let's move onto the only actually canonically aspec character in this comic: Brook, who's canonically aromantic. Also Brook being aromantic is canon regardless of it's explicitly said or not. I could go on a whole tangent about queer representation and the double standards between other queer rep and aspec rep when it comes to needing authorial intent to be seen as "real" rep but the short of it is that Brook's aromantic, not only because he said he's not interested in romantic relationships but because, on a fundamental level, he doesn't understand what romantic feelings are like and how they work. He's confused by the concept of romantic feelings, because he doesn't feel them. I don't think there's another way to interpret that. He's literally textbook aromantic. I'm not saying that trauma hasn't maybe influenced that and vice versa but you can be aromantic and have cptsd. I also feel the need to debunk the idea that Brook's time as reaper "made him detached from romantic love so he's not really aromantic" because that doesn't make sense. Yes, Brook's time as a reaper probably made him even more detached from human connections than he already was but there is no indication that he felt romantic feelings before being a reaper. He quite literally shows no interest in romance at any point in the comic, even before he died (also, again, while his lack of general ambition in anything could be interpreted as the product of some kind of neurodivergency or mental disorder, but that doesn't mean he can't also be aromantic). The fact he doesn't understand romance to begin with heavily implies he's never experienced it and doesn't experience romantic feelings in general, hence that he's aromantic.

Now that that's established, I want to talk about how ITGR depicts the feeling of isolation that can sometimes come with being aromantic, which in itself is kind of caused by amatanormativity. There's several scenes in the comic (Episode 176 being the most obvious example) where Brook laments getting attached to Chase and Scarlet because they're in love (well. Wellllllll, adajcent anyway/hj) and he feels like he'll never mean as much to them as they mean to eachother. He feels like because he's not romantically with either of them, he'll never the first priority to them (I personally headcanon as Brook having mild queerplatonic feelings for Scarlet but its not relevant right now and we don't have time for that). I feel like it's very common for aromantic people to feel isolated as a lot of their friends gets into relationships and because of how romantic relationships are seen as "superior" and it's nice of ITGR to represent that in a way. I feel like we do sometimes get canonically aspec characters in media but usually, if they're not the main main character, we don't really get much about how being aspec affects their lives and relationships? Or what their specific relationship to being aspec is? I feel like a lot of media ignores the complexities of being aspec which is why I really love Brook as a canonically aromantic character. While in most media, the aspecness of a character is more of a footnote and is usually treated as a label that's simply slapped onto a character, Brook's aromanticism doesn't exist in isolation and it directly ties back to several parts of his characters. It informs some of his feelings and thoughts. It feels like something tangible. I think it says a lot about how the writing that Brook is written so much like an aromantic character and his struggles with not feeling romantic attraction are treated with complexity that I genuinely forgot it's not explicitly ever said he is aromantic. I don't know, I really like him as aromantic rep.

Part 5: Bonus Headcanons + Conclusion

I didn't have any specific sections to put these headcanons in so I'm just going to through a bunch out there. Ashe is so greyromantic and greysexual to me. Like he definitely had feelings for the wife he's implied to have had when he was alive but I like to think he doesn't really feel attraction outside of that one specific person. Nyra screams arospec asexual lesbian to me. That's it. Send post. Need I say more? (I'm never getting over how her date with Azrael just convinced me that neither of them are attracted to the other's gender/lh). Oddly enough, I don't have that many headcanons about Bernadette. I'd say she could be ace? Vibes anyway. Scarlet's unnamed childhood best friend is so aroallo to me (vibe checked). I wrote a lot of this before Ver and Everette's interactions were revealed so you can either interpret them as the token allos or they can be acespec as a treat/hj.

With all of that done, thank you to anyone who actually read this whole thing. I am so sorry I'm insane/lh. I hope you enjoyed hearing out this interpretation. I feel like this analysis (?) has finally allowed me to be able to articulate why ITGR has always read to me as an aspec heavy piece of media despite only one character being canonically aspec, it's a combination of several things but mostly just the way the comic views love in such a detached and unglamourised way compared to a lot of other media. Love and attraction are still in the comic but the forms of love we see are unconventional. It kind of creates a world where genuine love and attraction aren't really the default, like out of the most openly flirty characters in the comic, most of them have ulterior motive and their flirty is performative and I find that so interesting. I don't think this is necessarily the only way to interpret a lot of the characters and themes but I hope I've opened your eyes to the aspec ITGR reading ^^

[mcytegg]

hihiii okay idk if you want a yap sesh in your askbox so PLEASE feel free to delete but roshambo hyperfixation is insane and i take every chance i can get to yap but . your post about how easily ro gets lonely made me jump up and down i was going to find smth you wrote to be like wow this was so right but the entire thing was so right i SCREAMED but . okay. im very big on personality types but im trying to avoid using any confusing enneagram-exclusive language but ro has always been the epitome of an enneagram 5 (specifically a sx/so 5w4) to me . copying this directly from the enneagram universe website but "Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation." fives a lot of the time are very mental types which makes them especially hard to read at times since it doesn't matter what they want to do, it matters if they have the confidence to want to actually do it. i think with ro confidence is a big part of what he chooses to do, which is why he sticks by people who he's confident he knows (mapicc) . one thing I've noticed with ro is that he almost . grows into himself based off of how other people receive him which is why i think he's a sx5. again stealing a quote from the personality database bc wording is my greatest enemy but "Ichazo called the SX5 'Confidence' a need for someone to feel safe with, a person of refuge[1], an excessive demand for trust and to be able to trust and love" . sx5's are also often more intense than other 5s, and have a tendency to want to be more emotional than the typically reversed way 5s are portrayed . okay i am so sorry if this makes no sense im writing it in a daze of random confidence and a want to talk about this .... again feel free to delete and throw rocks at me if i got anything wrong okay tytyty

OKAY IM FINALLY ANSWERING THIS, i am so sorry it took me so long bc i am VERY happy to hear u yap i just keep forgetting to reply 😭😭😭 but tysm for sending this, i appreciate it a lot 🛐

i am actually actively listening to the song from the sleeping at last written abt 5s as i answer so i can Immerse myself AND YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!

everytjing ur saying makes perfect sense dw like after watching bacons stream last night . rewatching zams castle buildimh stream where ro built the fuckass strip club . and then comparing it to how he acts in large groups and like one on ones w people he isnt as familiar w like jumper and rek, there IS a difference in how he behaves and interacts w certain people. he seems more withdrawn and almost more reserved/tame in larger groups and when interacting w people he doesnt typically interact w, whereas he is. like That w people he already knows he trusts and understand what hes like.

and like to me the difference boils down to how he seems to feel most confident and much more open in certain ways w mapicc and zam specifically. they are like.....of everyone in the server they know him the best and he knows they know what to expect from him. just like he knows what to expect from them which is def part of why no matter what hes just always the most openly "himself" w them.

it isnt that he dislikes the others or doesnt feel comfortable at all w everyone else in the server, he just seems to have a set few people who he feels more comfortable expressing himself in a more open way w. for better and for worse LOL.

[eemamminy-art]

my mental health is so not good right now. I have this feeling like I'm just so annoying and unlikeable, and also like no one believes me when I try to say I'm in a low place.

I've had to be independent and trying to survive ever since losing my parents a decade ago. My natural state of being is just hyper alert and idk how to not be like that anymore. I am also trying to constantly downplay how bad I feel because when I've been honest with how bad it is, people have become speechless and avoidant at times. It's easier to just pretend it's not that bad, especially when I still need to keep going in order to survive. But then when I need help, like now, it feels like no one takes it seriously. It makes me want to just detach and withdraw, but wait, I can't do that because I am in survival mode and-- yeah. you get it.

I think about that comic that's like, a cup with a chip on it just living with being chipped forever, while the cup that shatters is put back together. I can hold myself together so obviously I don't need help. I'm so independent and managed to take care of myself so far, so obviously I don't need help for that either.

I know it's always bad for me this time of year but I'm just struggling so much. But I'm also still functioning-- I still get my work done on time. I still follow through on my commitments. I still answer pings and emails as needed. I don't let my life crumble around me because I can't let that happen, I don't have a safety net, but outwardly that must mean it's not that bad. Surely.

When I'm trying to hold it in and just keep going like everything's fine, I just make things worse. I feel aches in my body from how tense my muscles are at all times, I find myself being prickly and clipped over very small things, I find myself crying over stuff that shouldn't be a big deal. And it just feeds this notion of feeling like I'm unlikeable, because when I react like that, of course no one would like me. It's just self-fulfilling in that way.

[matheoxs]

hi! i'm the anon who sent the post about the void and feeling depressed abt the 3d. thank you so much for your reply, it really made me feel better! genuinely appreciate it so much.

to answer ur question, no i don't overconsume content or stuff like that but i did constantly think about it conforming whenever i paid attention to my 3d which you're right, made me become pretty obsessed with it. BUT since i sent u that ask, my mindset has shifted even more to being completely detached from my desire so now i dont think abt it conforming, i just simply know i have it. i figured this out when i realized all of the 3d is just a dead mirror so i shouldn't care abt it.

but i don't think i explained the depressed part enough, when i mean depressed abt the 3d and sad abt it, it's not that i feel that way bcs it hasn't conformed, but i just feel that way bcs i've realized none of it matters?

like realizing that everything will change bcs it's just me pushed out is such a crazy fact?? i have no motivation to physically do the things i have to do here bcs i know it'll change. for example, me and my mom had a little project going on that i ran, but i've completely pulled away from it bcs i know it's gonna change when i go the void. it makes me sad seeing her reaction to it (which yes ig i assumed would happen), especially cause i loved doing it before, but i dont see any reason to do it now. like whats the point of anything here??

i'm just kinda doing the bare minimum to get by now and THATS whats depressing. i just dont care anymore abt what goes on. which on one hand is good? bcs i genuinely know the 4d is the real reality and im completely detached from this fake one. but on the other hand it just makes mentally being in this 3d hard sometimes.

idk if i necessarily want to fix this mindset, but i'm just wondering if you've ever pulled away from ur 3d like i have? idk if i'm explaining it right and sorry for the long asks, i just genuinely really appreciate your posts! you're my favorite blogger thank u for being real 🫶🏽

It can be weird and sad to realize that the 3D is just a reflection of your inner world. It might make you feel like nothing matters in the 3D. But just because the 3D is influenced by your thoughts and beliefs, it doesn't mean your actions and experiences here don't have any value or meaning. It's important to find a balance between being detached from the 3D and still engaging with it in a meaningful and fulfilling way.

Find meaning in actions in the 3D world, even if it's just a reflection.

Have goals even small goals and pursue them even if the 3D may change.

Don't let 3D knowledge disconnect you from your experiences.

Your 3D is as real as your 4D

and thank you very much, my love ❤

[piracytheorist]

A few things about young [redacted]

The manga has only "teased" his appearance, up to the point that the anime has gotten, with no clear pictures of his face.

It's either not fully shown, or shown from too far of a distance to make for a "clear" picture. Maybe this last one could fit, but it's definitely no HD stuff, and that's deliberate.

Instead, the anime went like "we took these to forensics and told them ENHANCE"

the contrast between those two pictures, my god

Like, look. I'm sure there was a deliberate choice behind not showing him clearly at this point in the manga. But... I don't know if it would have hit harder in the anime if the first show we got of him was with half his face hidden.

Manga uses different techniques. You're meant to look at each panel for a few seconds, especially one as heavy as this. There's other details that catch your attention and make you realize the gravity of the situation - mainly, the dirt and the blood on this small child, with the sleeve of his shirt torn and an injury peeking underneath - that you don't need to fully see his devastated face to get the message. In fact, hiding his eyes is like it's leaving it to us to imagine how hard he's crying - and with the way it's presented, no-one is going to imagine anything mild.

Instead, anime uses other techniques, and seems to have toned down the violence (censorship issues, I guess?). There is no clear show of blood on him, though his shirt is torn in the exact same place. The smudges on his face match the ones on his shirt, and with the destroyed buildings around him you're more likely to think it's dirt and dust rather than bruises and blood. To make up for that, it uses animation to show this poor kid bawling and shaking with sobs in the middle of ruins, all on his own, while his hands keep hopelessly grasping and letting go of his shirt. Hiding his face would only confuse the audience, making us question why, what's the narrative importance behind us not seeing his eyes?

Now as to the second (and timeline-wise, earlier) flashback, I think it's very important that the anime tried to hit for the contrast; little [redacted] sleeping soundly in his mother's lap, then Twilight waking up in Yor's lap and freaking the fuck out.

Warm colours in the flashback to cold colours in the present. Flushed cheeks to a face half-dipped in shadow. Leaning on someone to jerking away from someone. Safety and trust to alert and distrust.

Idk man I just think that anime has the disadvantage over manga when it comes to how long you see something. In manga you can look at a panel for however long you like; in anime you may not have the option to pause, and even if you do anime is not supposed to be watched by you pausing every few seconds. And this contrast up there is important; it cannot be blink and you miss it, you need to see it clearly, you need to understand how the little boy that felt safety in his mother's arms became a man that doesn't feel safe closing his eyes next to someone even for a few minutes.

Even when it's clearly depicted that this someone reminds him of the safety he felt back then.

Sometimes, anime has to be in-your-face. There are times it cannot afford subtleties and vagueness.

So instead of doing what the manga did - showing his young self from afar and with very few details in order to communicate how detached Twilight is from that boy - the anime went HD on his face to point out the contrast between who he was and who the circumstances of his life forced him to become.

(And honestly, I don't think anyone complained)

(Anime-only fan here (idk if that's what you'd call me when I've clearly read the manga up the point the anime has gotten but that's what I call myself), don't spoil me for the (rest of the) manga)

[livlepretre]

I was wondering when did Elena exactly become accustomed to the horrific actions of her vampire suitors? I know it must’ve been a gradual change, but my guess is that after she was rescued from her 3 year exile, she must’ve acknowledged the fact that she must accept to live with these murderers without being phased or bothered (as long as she’s not the focus of the violence) in order to enjoy her life to an extent. Like to me, in FE 64 it seemed like her moral compass was so unbalanced compared to the usual (maybe it seemed like that to me because we had to wait a while for the update but idk) - it was clear that one of the main themes of this chapter was to emphasize the mental change Elena has underwent since the beginning of the story. Would you be able to give us some insight?

Also how are you how are you doing? I’m planning on starting to read 100 years of exile and some of your other book recommendations cause I need to get my mind off of this fic in order to not torture myself on waiting for the update. 💝💐

Quite a question.

I think a lot of this actually starts on the show before the point of canon divergence.

In episode 7, she slaps Damon because of how "[he] hurts people"-- this, to me, is an expression of Elena's baseline sense of morality-- a very normal, well-adjusted disgust against harming others, and a willingness to take and articulate a moral stand-- and to back it up with force if necessary. She does her best here, and she also does her best a few episodes later to try to stop Damon from opening the tomb-- in large part to prevent the tomb vamps from escaping and wreaking havoc, if I recall correctly. (If I don't, forgive me: it's been like a decade since I've watched season 1).

(actually, this probably means I should go rewatch season 1 now)

By the end of the season we get some unnerving hints at things. She's not too torn up by Stefan attacking that girl at the founder's ball. Isobel gives her that warning about the path she's on so long as she has a Salvatore on each arm.

then: she forgives Damon for murdering her brother. HUGE red flag. Yes, it was undone, but he still did it.

She also moves on from Caroline eating that guy in 2x02 like it was just a small misdemeanor. Remember, it's Bonnie who cares that that happened, Elena just wants to move on with helping Caroline adjust.

then, in Kill or Be Killed, Damon, Caroline, and Stefan are responsible for the murders (and consumption!) of the Sheriff's deputies. Elena literally does not bat an eyelash. It's astonishing. I feel like SO much more weight should be given to this, because she literally hangs around while people she presumably knows at least as acquaintances get murdered. but she pretty much just moves past it because the ones doing the murdering are her friends and beloveds.

We have tons more examples-- classmates getting dropped like flies, acquaintances getting killed and eaten-- she's less and less affected by it.

I think she has a horror in the beginning of Fairytale Ending by the scale and the gruesomeness of the vampire attacks she witnesses-- but a lot of it is also tied up in her feelings of powerlessness. She tried to help Sasha and Zoe. They both died. Klaus promised her not to kill Matt-- so he had Stefan do it instead. But even in those early chapters, with things like the head detaching and rolling across the parlor floor, or the party where Stefan drains all of the guests, or any other incident-- she's not really thinking about the specific horror of those people dying. She's thinking about her jealousy, her relationship with Stefan, how she pities him and feels so upset on his behalf; she's analyzing her power dynamics with Klaus, and Rebekah, and the sexual dynamics between Klaus, Rebekah, and Stefan.

The only REAL horror she seems to have is when she kills that witch-- because that is the first murder on her hands-- and later, when she sets up Klaus to murder their way out of the compound in chapter 22.

She gets over it, but it does stick with her.

Like, she can and does cope by reminding herself of what they would wish to do to her.

There is a lot of bloodshed after that, at the Abattoir when they return, but she's by now got skin in the game in terms of finding the bloodstone, and she's seen a lot, and it's only the ones she loves that she actually cares about.

That's why Tyler's torture haunts her. She loves Tyler, and his torture was her fault.

She faces this directly within herself that summer in exile with Rebekah-- she realizes that Rebekah's out hunting, sometimes, and she decides not to be upset about it. It definitely took her exile and loneliness and emotional catharsis and survival to get to this point, and it did transform her. She talks about this explicitly around the time she arrives in New York-- she tells Klaus that their hunting won't bother her and points out, with Rebekah confirming, that she never complained a peep about it over the summer.

So by the time she's in New York, she's definitely observing a lot of their predatory behavior, fully aware of where it's going, and she's not especially affected by it. Like, there is still revulsion there, still unease and horror, but it gets less and less with time.

I did want to bring this transformation in Elena into focus in this last chapter, which is why it's brought up numerous times, but really, she's been on the road to this level of non-concern for quite a while. Hopefully, if you ever plan a reread, with the chapters back to back rather than spaced months (or years!) apart, this will gel more fully and feel more gradual.

And! did you ever read 100 years of solitude? because! that is just so my very favorite book of all time!

[hikennosabo]

musing about tesla (trimax vol 7)

idk, i feel like this deserves its own post, because i've been thinking so much about her.

cw for... discussion of everything that comes with the tesla territory under the cut.

so, after conrad accepts vash and knives, knives is fully confident that they can get along with humans. and in THAT moment, he sees tesla.

now, in tristamp it said she was alive, but i'm not sure if she's also alive in the manga...? (schrodinger's girl...) i mean i know the report says her "physical functions have ceased," but i ask because... is this a choice she made? like, we know plants can communicate telepathically, so is that what she's doing? showing vash and knives a vision leading them to the truth? or is this like... a ghost/remnant/lingering memory of her (something like in the previous volume when vash saw a vision of knives killing conrad after knives had already left)? because if she is alive... this is the only thing she's ever done - ever been able to do - by her own will. the only action tesla takes, the only agency she has. she wanted the twins to know the truth.

the actual report on tesla is just... i don't even have the right word for it. cruel. detached. clinical. inhuman. calling her a subject and a specimen. they even acknowledge that she's sapient, yet they carried on with the experiments. it's just fucking cold.

like. no wonder rem was so keen on keeping the twins a secret. only she and conrad opposed the experiments, and the other four (i'm assuming four even though we only see three) continued to torture this little girl. (sorry for the crude diagram lol)

the report totals 229 days - seven and a half months - and they never once thought of her as a person. a "question of ethics" was brought up at the day 100 mark (presumably thanks to rem and conrad) but they never change the language they use for her. even on the page i used above, where they're all remembering what they did to tesla, it's not clear how much they regret what happened, or if they wouldn't do it again given the choice. rem certainly doesn't seem to trust them. and in the brief time we see these people, they joke around, show emotions, act human as they are, one of them even hugs rem before going back into cold sleep - you would never guess the depths of the cruelty they were (are) capable of.

i've decided i love tesla and i want to know everything about her. who she would've been as a person. her likes and dislikes. times when she laughed and times when she cried. all taken from her. she could have grown up and helped raise vash and knives. she was never allowed to be a person. she was never given the choice of how to feel about humanity - all she knew was torture. we'll never know her, and vash and knives will never know their sister. all they (and we) have is a cruel, clinical report. tesla herself was never able to know either.

knives's hatred and desire for revenge, as twisted and cruel as he would become himself, was fueled by his anger at her abuse. truly, she is haunting the narrative. a ghost of what could have been. a character defined by absence.

[julymarte]

remember that server that warned me and deleted my posts cause i was underselling and stuff?

MIND YOU I AGREE THAT UNDERPRICING IT'S HARMFUL TO THE BIGGER PICTURE BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT THAT today i tried to apply to their art seller role (that was removed from me back then) and i found it so....detached??? let me elaborate to apply for that role you need to send a form where you show your listings and send proof of payment for at least one of your commissions and provide said commission to certify you are not a scammer , i was already feeling a bit uncomfortable sharing payment informations even if i had nothing to hide and the client's data would have been censored like....bruh but still...i was unsure if the kofi order documentation was enough or if they wanted the screenshot from paypal with al the other data of the transaction(cause that's what they normally request people to submit) so i asked about that but i unfortunately had happened to send my material in the incorrect way so when i got the response from a mod via an automated bot reply not answering my question i was confused so i went to the chat and asked if i could talk to a human and they said oh just write to the bot and???? so i just remade the form asking the question inside the form again...seems like i got in but everything was super cold like i'm totally in for formal things, i am fine with professionality but that felt...like... the whole server is operated by the bot system...i understand that it's a big server but... right the other day i was talking with a couple of friends how the art community is freezing.... it's not just about the advent of AI but also about the fact that people have stopped interacting with art as something another person made but as if they are consuming a product and no one is on the other side that server is about selling a product. tou have to lower your prices cause you are struggling? i don't care raise them cause you are ruining the market, you have a problem? ask the bot or other social medias completely ruled by algorithms?? people stopped interacting with art as they used to just a few years ago, there are less comments less human interaction people leave a like and leave, i'm on several servers and only in few of them people actually have a positive interaction among eachother, i've been trying to make conversations or ask for ideas in my own server too but the more impersonal something is the more willing people are to take part like several people voted for a poll that could have been left unanswered if it was just a simple question... it's so depressing and alienation tbh... and part of the reason why my creativity is dying everything has become a product, you have to think about your audience, you have to think about the time you post, the format, you have to create a package ready to be consumed just to hope to be seen by someone that will say something to you....mind you i'm an introvert with social anxiety i don't like talking to people it stresses me out but i'm a human being and being social creatures is in our nature... idk i'm just rambling at this point but eh.... sad....

[1800duckhotline]

i feel like most horror fans can't go 5 minutes without being ableist in some fashion its so god damn hard to interact with people who like this genre too

it is maddening honestly like i think the horror of the lack of power that can come with disability is very real especially in our current society. it can be a good thing to talk about in a horror story. but god damn, like, referring to scarring and injuries and in general differences one can sustain irl as "Body horror" feels so detached from reality. i think so many people dont even stop to realize that it can be so dehumanizing to the disabled person affected, or people, lol. it's been definitely normalized to a very scary amount to regard realistic differences (especially in faces and heads) as body horror

and im not even referring to purposefully unrealistic exaggeration like idk, m/ndela catalogue's, bc that reaches a point where it's "fantastical" enough or cartoony to be like yeah ok, this is body horror because it goes beyond what human limits are like. but burn victims, people who sustain injuries from acid, and in general people with different facial conformations which can be results of genetics or illnesses are not body horror and require as much respect/awareness as your average person. like i would imagine it feels othering

tho i speak from the pov of someone who's been living with a disabled person for years now, and while i dont have that specific kind of situation myself, i've become more sensitive to this stuff lol anyways youre right anon. sorry for the ramble. but its unfortunately true.

in the specific topic of m/uthw/shing, taking aside what i think of curly's personality and attitude pre-crash, post-crash he is disabled... and part of the point of the game is how this condition of his is taken advantage of while he cannot do anything himself as an amputee because he is, realistically, still suffering his injuries!! jimmy being a dick is part of the point but with this & other topics ill reserve myself from rambling about it feels like people are just not understanding the story at all!! like, the least you could do is not dehumanize curly (and fairly enough most people ive seen don't do this, but it takes me so little for me to be pissed off lately. this is why i try to not tag my posts so people dont see them). bare minimum. the bar is in hell dude