#i think i should eat sawdust

[nyancrimew]

factt check : the post above is true by real amaerican patriots ✅

[comediakaidanovsky]

the vibe today is that i have dutifully brought a lunchbox to work but i have spent the entire morning dreaming about the shitty kebab from the only bodega within walking distance of the office

[tradgedyinwaves]

First Choice - Part 4

Part Four of this Poly141! x fat!reader tw: social anxiety, self-doubt, drinking, more touchy-touchy, reader thinks about sexual acts

In celebration of 200 followers, this part has way more than 650 words. More like 1600. :)

Conversation flowed easily with them despite their sole focus being on you. At some point, Kyle’s hand had drifted onto your thigh, fingers pressing into the flesh gently. John’s arm had slipped from the back of the booth and now rested around your shoulders. You couldn’t be sure, but it seemed Johnny couldn’t keep his feet still and kept tapping yours under the table. The only one who couldn’t seem to relax was Ghost, sitting almost across from you. 

His eyes never left you and he mainly seemed to communicate in grunts. At least, he was drinking this time, his glass now empty of his own whiskey. You were careful not to drink too much, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of these beautiful men. But it didn’t keep you from relaxing and feeling the warmth of the two next to you. 

Pulling out your phone, you checked the time and groaned. “I really should be going. It’s been great,” you announce, looking to Kyle to move so you could slide out from the booth. “Aw come on. We’re having so much fun. Just a wee longer?” Johnny asks and you turn to him, finding yourself giving in almost immediately. Damn the puppy dog eyes. 

“Only a bit longer,” you concede and relax back into the seat. This time when Kyle’s hand lands on your thigh, it’s higher and the heat is searing through your jeans. You let out a soft sound, biting your lip as his hand starts slowly caressing your thigh up and down. He’s not even looking at you when you look up, already deep in conversation with Johnny about some sports game you had no clue about. 

John’s arm settled back over your shoulders, pulling you slightly closer so his hand hovers over your breast and you can feel the hair of his arm on your bare collarbone. Your breasts jiggle slightly with your laugh when Johnny makes a joke and you don’t miss the way his pupils dilate ever so slightly before darting back up to your face. He, at least, has the decency to blush, the faint pink color tinging his cheeks. 

When the crowd in the bar starts to thin out and you realize even your friends have left for the night, you’re yawning in your seat and now leaned completely against John with his thick arm draped over your shoulders. Kyle’s hand is now tucked between your thick thighs, the side pressed as tightly to your core as he can get it and you hope to whatever higher powers that be that he couldn’t feel the radiating heat or the damp spot that had soaked into your panties. 

“Okay, okay. I really do need to go now. My friends aren’t even here anymore and that’s saying something,” you chirp, suddenly very awake and aware that you’re in an almost empty bar with four men you’d only met that night. They all look at you like they’d rather eat sawdust than let you go and you feel a warmth creep over you. 

“Ahw, bonnie, we couldn’t let you go home on your own. Let us take you home,” Johnny chimes in, soft smile and kind eyes that hold a hint of something else in them. You swallow, looking between each of them. Your gaze lingers on Ghost for a while, noticing the man’s eyes had almost never left you.

“Yeah, alright. Let’s go. It’s not a far walk,” you reply, biting your lip at the reckless decision. These men could be serial killers and you were just inviting them to know exactly where you live. “Why don’t you let Johnny and Ghost take you home? Kyle and I can follow in our truck so they’re not stuck walking back here,” John offers, a warm smile curling up the thick mustache. 

At this point, you’re ready for bed and just want to get home. “Sounds good to me,” you reply though the words are manipulated by a yawn. All of you shuffle out of the round booth, both Kyle and John kissing the top of your head like they’d known you for years before disappearing out the door. You wrap your jacket around you again, pulling the zipper together over your belly and getting a little frustrated when it gets caught up on your shirt. 

“Lemme,” Ghost grumbled, stepping up to you and taking hold of the jammed zipper. It’s the first time he’s spoken all night and it almost stuns you how deep and growly it is. Your breath hitches as he grabs the zipper, yanking on it and subsequently making your breasts bounce as he accidentally pushes against them. He gets it undone and you mutter a bashful ‘thanks’ before turning on your heel as you finish zipping it up to your throat.

You know they’re meant to be escorting you home, but you’re out the door so fast the two men have to jog to catch up. Johnny’s arm wraps around your waist, fingers pressing into the pudge of your stomach in a way that makes you want to shrivel up. You don’t like anyone touching your stomach, but you’re warring with yourself on whether or not to move his hand, to show that kind of discomfort in front of these men. 

You choose to do so anyway, wrapping your fingers around his and lifting his arm up over your head and ducking under it, dropping it at his side. Johnny looks down at you with a furrowed brow. “Don’ like it when people touch you, do you?” he asks as he shoves his hands in his pockets. He doesn’t look bothered that you’d removed his arm, but your anxiety rears its ugly head and makes you worried you’d offended him. 

“It’s not that I don’t like being touched. It-It’s…complicated. I-I don’t want to talk about it,” you manage to stammer out before picking up your speed. It’s not like you’re going to shake off your two guard dogs whose legs are easily longer than yours by several inches, but you take off anyways. 

When your building finally comes into view, you slow your pace and breathe a soft sigh of relief. Your bed was so close, just a few more yards and you could get rid of the guard dogs and curl up in bed. “Well, this is me. Thanks for bringing me home. I really appreciate it.” You were grateful that they’d walked you home. It wasn’t safe this time of night to be wandering around in this part of town. 

“We’re walking you to your door, bonnie. Wouldn’t want someone to snatch you up between here and there,” Johnny stated, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You wanted nothing more than to sink into the scent of him, warm and tingly to the nose like oranges and nutmeg, but you shook your head and backed up to the door of your building. “There’s really no need. My neighbors are great.” Lie. Absolute fucking lie. Nestor at the end of the hall on the first floor would, no questions asked, rip you from the hallway if he saw you alone. A chill went down your spine and you conceded the moment you looked into Ghost’s eyes. You didn’t have a choice if they were escorting you all the way up. 

You turned and opened the door to the building, looking down the hall to make sure Nestor was in his apartment before slipping in and letting the boys in behind you. You headed to the elevator and punched the up arrow, biting your lip as you tried not to wither under the intense stare of the man in the mask. The elevator had been the selling point for you. It was the only place within your budget that had an elevator and you weren’t about to walk up five flights of stairs multiple times a day. 

The lift dinged and you stepped inside, Ghost and Johnny slipping in behind you just to stand with their bodies pressed against your back. Unintentionally, you leaned into them before your eyes widened at your own movement and you straightened so your body pulled away slightly.

The doors dinged and opened allowing you to step out onto your floor. You headed to your unit, digging for your keys in your purse. With a ‘aha!’, you pulled them out and shoved the key into the doorknob, unlocking it. “Would you guys like to come in? I might have some whiskey left?” you offer, turning to look at them. You didn’t know why you were inviting them in, but the sense of safety you had around them had you desperate for them to stay. 

“Sure, lemme text Price and Kyle where to come. Go on in, Si-Ghost. I’ll come in in a minute,” Johnny stated, already pulling his phone out and going to stand next to the window at the end of the hall. You opened the door and allowed Ghost in, leaving it unlocked so the others could join once they arrived. 

Heading into your kitchen, you stood up on your tippy toes, reaching up so you could pull out five of your good glasses. You were looking for the last one, but it was just out of your reach. Suddenly, you felt what could only be Ghost against your back, pressing you against the counter as he leaned over you to grab the glass. 

The heat of him against your back has your thighs clenching together while you watch his thick digits wrap around the glass and you wonder briefly what they’d feel like inside you. He takes a step back once he has the cup and holds it out to you. 

You turn back to him while trying to fight off the blush coloring your cheeks. You murmur a thanks and wrap your own fingers around the glass. 

Of course, that would be when the other three burst loudly through the door.

I wasn't intending for this to become a whole story, but it's really stuck with me over the last week or so.

<- Part Three Part Five ->

[wingedjellyfishflight]

A Forgotten Birthday

"How old is y/n then?" The new recruit is always trying to flirt with Soap by asking him gossip and facts about the team.

"Twenty-six." He answers her so easily. It feels like a stab to your heart all over again.

"Twenty-seven." You correct, voice conspicuously devoid of emotion.

"No, your birthday isn't until May, and it's..." His face pales. He whips around to look at you. "We missed it. How did we miss it?" You shrug, not meeting his eyes.

"Some things just aren't important." Your food tastes like sawdust. You give up trying to eat and toss it in the trash on the way out. Maybe hitting the gym will help. No, you know he's going to tell everyone, and you don't want to deal with their pity-filled stares and questions about making it up to you now that they've finally remembered.

Running the trail system near the base is a favorite of yours normally. Today, it isn't relaxing, but anger-inducing. You were on a mission in a forest just like this across the world for your birthday. It was almost two weeks after the day that you got back, and you eagerly waited for the surprise party that Soap, Gaz, and Price always set up for each person's birthday, but... nothing. After three weeks, you gave up all hope for one and steeled yourself to give nothing away. Can't let them see you hurt over a stupid birthday. Can't make the team lose focus or lose your own. You're an adult, after all.

Zoned out, you don't realize how far you have run until it's nearly too dark to see the path. Sitting on a stump, you give in and have a cry about the whole thing. Self-pity taking you over for just a few minutes. Wiping your eyes, you startle when a hand touches your back. You leap up and move to a defensive crouch only to see Ghost's balaclava looming out of the darkness at you.

"Luv, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing. Just, I don't know. Needed a cry, I guess. Didn't think anyone would see me."

"You certainly didn't see anyone. I've been running behind you for nearly five minutes. I could have been anyone. You need to be more aware of things." Your hurt and confusion turns to anger at the lecture he is spouting off.

"Ya, I guess I do need to be more aware. Clearly, I am the problem." You stomp away from him, starting back to base, muttering to yourself about transfers to other teams who might care more. Ghost wraps his hand around your arm and pulls you to a stop.

"What, I make one comment, and you're just going to quit on us? What is actually going on, pet? Someone piss you off or something? Do I need to knock teeth out?"

"I... everyone forgot," you mumble. Ghost glances around to ensure you're alone and tugs you against his chest, rubbing your back. "I was in the shit and when I got back, nobody remembered my birthday." He freezes, hands cradling you.

"They forgot? How could they forget? Your birthday is always at the beginning of the mission season. I thought you guys had it when I was down range. I was gutted to have missed it. Sent you flowers as a sorry." His grip tightens to an almost painful level, and you grip back, remembering the beautiful bouquet that had been left for you without a note. "We will just have to make Soap and Captain pay for forgetting then." You glance up and see his eyes glimmering at you in the moonlight.

"We should probably find our way home first."

"Home, that sounds good." His phone suddenly goes off, making you jump. "Group text. 'SOS emergency meeting. Do not tell y/n.' They ain't even tryin' to be subtle at this point." He guides the two of you down the path, walking quick and assured. Within minutes, he is getting an avalanche of phone calls and texts to the point that he is tempted to throw it into the woods around you, but you turn it off and slip it into his pocket for him.

"Last time you threw one and broke it, Captain said he would glue the new one to your hand, and I'm pretty sure he was serious." Ghost ruffles your hair.

"That was a private meeting, Luv. How did you hear him say that?"

You scoff. "You'd be lucky if the entire fuckin' base didn't hear him tell you that with how loud he was shouting." He just chuckles and guides you both home. He drops you off at the women's barracks and storms into the team meeting, slamming the door into the wall.

"Finally you show up! We forgot y/n's birthday and we are planning a party to make up for it."

"No. You are not."

"What?! We can't just ignore it. We forgot! It's been months!"

"You're not going to force her to accept a pity party to make you feel better about what you did."

"Ghost, I know you hate parties, but she still deserves to know we care."

"So, show her. Before she makes good on transferring out. But no party. I will handle her party from now on since you fucks can't be trusted to remember." He walks out without another word, the room behind him in chaos.

"Why is he acting like he didn't forget, too?" Gaz asks incredulously.

"Because the bawbag didn't. He sent the mystery flowers that made her cry. It was right after he got back from down range. Can't believe I didn't catch it earlier."

Price stubs out his cigar. "So, no party. And she is thinking about leaving. We really cocked this one up, boys." He stands and walks to the door, pausing on the threshold. "No flowers, no gifts. Make it up to her. And Soap," he turns to look the Scottish man in the eye, "sleep with one eye open. Ghost is absolutely going to make us pay for making her cry." He walks away, no pep in his step, now.

"Cry? How does he know she cried?" Gaz seems baffled by the Captain's surety.

"Course she cried. Everyone does when they are forgotten or abandoned."

"Ghost doesn't, though. We never celebrate his birthday."

"We being the key there, mate. Remember last month when she shoved a new set of gloves and a mask at him? Told him the ones he was wearing were manky as fuck. That was his birthday gift." He runs a hand through his hair. "Anyway, I'm off. Need t'think about how I'm gonna beg forgiveness from both of 'em."

[the-fiction-witch]

...Because he knows I love You

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Flirty

Requested: y/n is a maid again and she helps Jack she's a very sweet girl, but Sneed likes her and like flirts with her a lot and Jack gets jealous bc he's in love with her.   Warnings: Aggressive unresponsive Unwanted Flirting (Lil Rapy)

I knocked on the little wooden door waiting a moment or two for a response,

"Come in!" He called, 

So I smiled and headed with my tray in hand, I shut the door with my foot and saw Jack Dawkins lying in his bed barely awake yet, but this was normal he had a habit of lingering in his bed longer than he should. 

But I greeted his weary face with a wide smile. "Good Morning Dr Dawkins," 

He forced a smile "Morning Y/n," He yawned,

"Breakfast time," I smiled setting the tray down on his table "Toast, eggs, bacon, and I managed to sneak you a few sausages, and an orange" I explained, and I jumped a little as I felt arms snake around my waist and he pulled me down onto his knee making me squeal a little with giggles,

"What would I do without you?" He smiled resting his chin on my shoulder 

"Starve," I giggled jumping off his leg and starting on my work to clean his room and organize everything, 

"I wouldn't starve," He said getting up and slipping his trousers on "I have the tools to cook, you're not even meant to cook for me but you still do."

"Well if I didn't you'd live off toast and milk." I laughed putting his clean laundry away and handing him a clean shirt for the day,

"Nothing wrong with toast and Milk," he said slipping his shirt on, snapping his suspenders over his shoulders and sitting to eat his breakfast 

"Alright," I rolled my eyes making his bed and leaving his waistcoat there for when he was done "Eat your orange" I told him

"I don't need it," he shrugs 

"Jack. Eat your orange. No more bacon till you eat your orange it's good for you." 

"Fine," he rolled his eyes eating his orange as the last thing he ate for his breakfast, "Thank you y/n,"

"You're welcome." I smiled, "Now, what tie are you thinking today? green? blue? your fancy blue one?" 

"Green I think, did you get the blood out of it?" He asked coming and slipping his waistcoat on, 

"Did I get the blood out of it? that's a stupid question to ask the best laundry girl in the world." I pouted playfully throwing him it and he only just caught it,

"True, I don't know why I asked" he chuckled "Humm?"

"What?"

"Have you been letting my clothes out without telling me again?" he asked adjusting his waistcoat as even now it was done it wasn't hugging him quite how it usually did. Immediately I noticed the problem the cinch at the back had come undone. 

"Would I tell you If I was?" I chuckled 

"Are you?"

"No, here." I smiled fixing the back cinch for him 

"Oh. Thank you."

"You're welcome," I smiled "You have that surgery today don't forget," I reminded him as I finished up with his room 

"I won't forget," He chuckled

"Good, I'll see you later. Soup for dinner?" I suggested taking the tray with me to the door 

"That sounds perfect." He smiled "Uhh Y/n?"

"Yes, Jack?" 

"...It's nothing, you get on."

"Alright, see you later," I smiled before I hurried back down to the hospital kitchens and started work on laundry and dishes. 

I hurried myself up to the theatre with my equipment, Jim was setting the theatre up still putting sawdust all over the floor, and Hetty working away setting the place up as people filed in desperate for blood. I did my best to stay out of everyone's way and soon enough the boys emerged. 

Jack Dawkins and Rainsford Sneed, came out of the prep room ready for surgery to the cheers of many visitors. 

"Gentlemen! The royal hospital somewhat... begrudging presents Dr Rainsford Sneed and the much celebrated Jack Dawkins!" Jack paid up the crowd enough to make me giggle especially when Sneed glared at him "Now we have a good one for you today, the leg, and two smallest toes were shot off in a fight, your wife wasn't it Mr Petrov?" He asked but of course, the man was in too much pain and panic to answer luckily hetty nodded, "Now the wound is heavily infected and has crawled up the leg meaning we are amputating today just below the knee." He explained "But the big question... who cuts?" He flipped his lucky coin and Hetty caught it in her hand before revealing it "Me." he smirked and the crowd went wild.

I almost didn't trust him, he always won when they used his coin, I could have sworn it was weighted or something. But they made prep for the operation. For a moment he playfully whirled his knife around and made eye contact with me, he smirked and winked at me making me blush "Time me." 

It was an utter rush I couldn't deny watching him work, so fast and smoothly with everything he did that in less than thirty seconds it was over. 

He took the applause and the few tips, and Hetty took the man to the ward to rest. 

So I began my work My first job was to take the bucket with the now amputated limb out to the box where we always put them, Before returning with my scrubbers, brushes, brooms and such. I took all the bloody sawdust away to be disposed of and began to scrub the floor. 

"It's not ladylike." A voice spoke up making me jump as I sat up a little seeing Dr Sneed leant against the wall watching me clean, this was pretty normal Dr sneed seemed to have this illusion that every lady in the hospital desired to be in his bed and would fight every other girl for such an honour, Underestably I did not. But that didn't stop his... attempts at flirting. I honestly wondered if any ladies fell for this sort of stuff?

"Humm?"

"Being knelt like that on your hands and knees, scrubbing" he smirked, 

"Well, It has to be done." I shrug returning to my scrubbing trying to get the blood strains off the floor, 

"The scrubbing has left you with a hole in your dress Miss y/n."

"A gentleman would look away Dr Sneed" I said just trying to get my work down and ignore whatever it was he wanted,

"He would" He nodded "You seem comfortable?"

"Comfortable?" I asked getting more water from my brush, 

"Comfortable on your hands and knees." He smirked, 

"Well, lots of cleaning to do" I shrug "You boys do know this floor is meant to be grey right?" I laughed,

"You must spend a lot of time on your hands and knees."

"I do. lots to clean."

"Dawkins have you like that a lot?"

"What?" I perked up, 

"Does Dawkins have you like that a lot?"

"His room is often messy" I nodded,

He smirked coming over standing where I just cleaned so he stood in front of me looking down at me "So you are on your hands and knees a lot in his room then?" 

I glared half at his words and half at him walking where I just cleaned! "Dr Sneed, I do not like what you are implying." 

"Liar." He smirked "You know... my room is pretty dirty too. I could do with your visit tonight."

"Well maybe if I get finished early" I answered continuing with my work but he continued to stand in my way so instead of scrubbing around him I scrubbed over his boots with my cold dirty water, 

He glared at me for doing so but I just smiled up at him "Insobordinante little thing aren't you? I see why he likes you" he smirked slapping my ass as he walked out my way, "But a pretty thing like you should stay the night with a man, not a boy."

"You're both boys," I laughed, "I'm partly convinced you boys are vampires. You both seem to have a taste for blood" I chuckled taking my bucket to empty it and get some fresh water, 

"Why don't you stay a while? just you and me?" He smirked wrapping his arms around me, 

"No thank you Dr sneed."

"Aww come on just Rainsford," He smirked,

"Why would I do that?" I glared trying to move away,

"You call dawkins Jack?"

"Cause he's nice to me."

"I can be nice to you" He smirked trying to kiss me but I shoved him away,

Just then the theatre door opened and I saw Jack there, I was happy it was him almost like he'd come to save me, so I shoved needs hands away. He looked so angry like he was about to deck sneed in the face, not the first time I've known him do that. 

"You want something Dawkins, Miss Y/n and I were just getting a little more acquainted" Sneed smirked 

Jack left angrily and I was so confused, 

"There, nice and alone again" Sneed smirked trying to grab me but I threw the contents of my bucket all over him covering him with dirty, bloody, wash water. I dropped my bucket and rushed up to Jack's room seeing him having loosened his tie and pacing around angrily.

"What the hell!" He yelled

"What?"

"Sneed! fucking Sneed! Really?"

"Ohh will you calm down I threw my wash water on his head."

"You what?" he asked already calming down a little 

"Yes. he was being weird and flirty and grabby so I threw my wash water on his head."

"He was flirting with you?" He glared

"If that's what you take of that sentence Jack yes."

"And you were flirting back?"

"God no!"

"No?"

"God no! it's sneed. Snivelling, slimy, sneed." 

"Oh." he nods "I uhh I thought for a moment-"

"What? That Sneed and I were flirting?"

"Sorry, I just... I heard you giggling and him talking and... I saw you alone I just..."

"Jack, were you?" 

"What?"

"Jealous?"

"...Maybe a little." he sheepishly admits

"Why on earth would you be jealous? of what?"

"Of... Sneed getting to be alone with you."

"You're alone with me on a daily basis? we're alone right now?"

"Yeah but-"

"But what?"

"But... you're not giggling and I don't have my arms around you, you know it's different when we're alone."

"And you jealous of me throwing my water bucket over his head?"

"No. I'd really rather you didn't." He said, "It's hard to explain y/n."

"Jack, yes or no, Were you jealous Sneed was alone with me?"

"Yes."

"Were you jealous he was flirting with me?"

"Yes."

"Were you jealous Sneed got to cuddle me? I was unwilling in this cuddle but that's not the point."

"I was jealous he got to hold you."

"Were you jealous he slapped my ass?"

"He slapped your ass!"

"Yes, he did."

"Bloody dick."

"I know. but were you?"

"...A little bit yeah."

"Why?"

He didn't answer a moment "Because... I know how he thinks about you."

"How does Sneed think bout me?"

"He likes you. that much is obvious. He's always talking about how... pretty you are, how cute you are, how much he wants to... Do things to you."

"Pervy Dickhole" I sighed 

"I know." He sighed "Half the time I think he only does it to piss me off."

"Why him saying he liked me piss you off?"

"...Because He knows I love you." He spoke up.

"You- you what?" I asked in absolute shock.

"I let it slip one day after surgery that I... Was falling in love with you. the first time I said it, been... feeling it a whole lot longer though."

"You're in love with me?"

"Yeah..."

"Why?"

"....what do you mean why?"

"Why? Why would you love me? You're a doctor, I'm a maid hell I'm not even that I'm a hospital chore girl, you're an ex-navy surgeon and insanely handsome, I scrub blood and shit off a hospital floor and I'm not even technically qualified for that! And you know I look like a scrub shit of a hospital floor." I explained "You could literally go into port right now and find a wife within like twenty minutes. why... Why would you want ... me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he said taking my hands "You're sweet, you're beautiful, you can sass me better than any woman I've ever met, you cook and clean for me even when you don't have to, you force me to eat fruit and veg even when I don't want to because you know its good for me, you even do all my laundry and take my clothes out for me without me asking you, you take such good care of me, I don't care what your job is, or how educated you are, I just care that you give a shit about me. And I love you. I couldn't ask for a woman any better than you."

"You really mean that Jack?"

"Of course I do."

"I... I never knew you felt that way about me." I blushed "I- I love you too."

"You do!"

"Of course, I do, why do you think I take such good care of you? I want to make sure you are happy and cosy. Because I care about you. You don't have to worry about Sneed next time he tries anything I'll punch him. I just want you, Jack." I smiled hugging his chest

"I just want you to my darling" He cooed kissing the top of my head "You don't worry about Sneed... I'll deal with him. Do you want to stay here with me tonight? So you safe and we could... maybe cuddle a little?"

"I'd like that very much" I smiled giving him a sweet soft kiss, he happily kissed back with a wide smile 

"I adore you y/n."

"Aww I adore you too Jack." I smiled kissing his nose "Now. I shall go get your dinner." I began trying to leave but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to his chest kissing me again

"No. We. Shall make dinner. You heat the stove up, I'll go get stuff for dinner."

"Alright," I smiled, "Don't just leave the veg behind because you don't want it." I warn him 

"awww you saw through my plans!" He complained 

[cherr-22]

TNGDH 31

“Demonic beasts that look like this can be boiled and eaten. The boiling takes a while, but it will be much better in terms of nutrition and warmth.”

The maids and knights gathered in a circle around me and took notes.

Fortunately, they nodded in understanding despite my crude explanation. They discussed what other demonic beasts could be eaten like this as well as what other kinds of stuffings they could use.

‘I think this is enough for explanations. The duck baeksuk should be done by now.’

I rubbed my sore shoulders and checked the system window that popped up.

[‘Summon’ will be canceled in 5 minutes.]

‘Looks like I won’t be able to taste test it.’

I told my goodbyes to the workers I became closer with and headed to the warehouse in the corner. As I went in and closed the door, I heard Kyle’s voice from a distance.

“You’re late.”

I smiled at his voice looking for me as the white light enveloped my body.

*

To live an hour like a day was tiring. I sighed on top of the sawdust.

I didn’t know how long I slept since I used ‘Summon’, but when I opened my eyes, Kyle was tearing pieces of duck baeksuk into my food bowl.

―Squeak. (What are you doing.)

“Sorry for waking you up. But this is good timing. Eat while it’s still warm.”

Kyle placed the bowl in front of me. I looked at the disheveled appearance of the baeksuk I made.

‘Hmm. It cooked well.’

Baeksuk should be boiled for a long time to be delicious.

I held the meat that Kyle shredded with both hands and took a bite.

The soft flesh with a greasy texture melted in my mouth. I think this tasted better than a regular duck. I wonder if it was because it had more exercise as a demonic beast?

As I mindlessly devoured the meat, Kyle gently stroked my forehead with his index finger and smiled happily.

“This food was invented by him. How did someone so brilliant come here?”

―Squeak squeak. (I came here by dying, man.)

“I have to return this favor properly, but I don’t know what would be good.”

―Squeak squee-, squeak. (Give me money. Money is best.)

I ate all the baeksuk with not a single leftover as Kyle contemplated seriously. Perhaps because of my small body, my stomach felt like it would explode after eating only a handful.

I stretched my arms out. Kyle watched me as if he thought I was the cutest thing in the world and put me onto his palm to carry me out the study.

“I don’t think I have been paying attention to you for a while, so let’s sleep together tonight.”

Kyle laid me down on a handkerchief beautifully embroidered with flowers. He then laid down next to me and stroked me endlessly.

Just when I thought I was going to become a hairless hamster, he ended up closing his eyes first.

‘He must’ve been very tired.’

Anyways, I wonder if his arm is okay?

I stood up and inspected Kyle’s arm. It was still covered in bandages, but he didn’t seem to have any major problems using the arm.

His tough hands were filled with numerous cuts. I massaged them hoping that they’d heal a bit more faster.

Be healthy.

You must be healthy for me to stop worrying.

*

The Northerners were quick to learn new things, as they were veterans who already had experience in making something from nothing but dry land.

They also had good adaptability. Not only were they already making the baeksuk I taught them yesterday, they were also finishing up making the parkas. Teaching felt very rewarding.

Today again, I boiled the duck and even made porridge in front of the knights who caught the duck. As a delicious smell filled the kitchen, the surrounding people began to crowd here.

“Oh…… wow. This… this is really delicious?”

“How could we have never thought about eating like this! It’s a lot better than frying, don’t you think?”

“Please cook like this from now on. Also here, you can eat it more deliciously if you scorch the rice.”

This was the kind of food the owner of my rented room in my past life liked. I once made it for them because I was indebted to them, but they ended up coming to me often to make it for them.

It should be delicious. I’ve been working part-time in a restaurant for years. I know how to cook most dishes decently, at least.

“I suppose you could use the leftover meat to make jerkies. Oh, and, continue to make quilted clothes with the duck feathers.”

I sat next to the maids who were sewing besides a basket full of the demonic beasts’ feathers. The maids greeted me warmly.

The welcoming atmosphere made me feel good.

‘How long has it been since I did something with others like this?’

I developed the game almost by myself, and after graduating from school, I had to leave my uncle’s house to become independent. After my parents passed away, I had no meaningful memories of being with other people. I was busy working part-time in college and taking classes.

‘I sure lived a boring life.’

I put the feathers between the fabric and moved the needle diligently.

The thickly sealed fabric could be used as clothing or as cushion. From afar, they looked like blankets.

I smiled happily and looked at the people around me.

Then, a system window blinked before my eyes.

[‘Summon’ will be canceled in 3 minutes]

“…….”

Already?

I jumped up from my seat. The attention of the people who were once chatting harmoniously suddenly focused onto me.

I laughed awkwardly and made an excuse.

“Something urgent came up, so I’ll be leaving first.”

“Already? You should stay a bit longer!”

“It’s quite important so…”

I turned around and was about to leave when―.

[You have opened up the possibility of a prosperous life for the residents of the Blake estate.]

[Hidden quest, ‘Godfather of the North’ achieved!]

[Miracle Value has increased.]

[Current Miracle Value 21.0%]

[A passive effect has been achieved. Anyone who is a member of the North will favor you.]

[The duration of ‘Summon’ has been extended.]

[‘Summon’ will be canceled in 62 minutes.]

The system windows popped up all at once, then disappeared without even having me a chance to touch it. Smiling with utmost satisfaction, I turned around and sat again.

“……Weren’t you going to go?”

“Oh. I was given extra time.”

One of the maids looked at me strangely and then suddenly turned back their head. I made a confused expression on my face upon seeing that and inserted the needle into the fabric once again.

But…… what was it. Was it just my imagination?

The other people who had been chatting before quieted down as if cold water was poured on them. Just like kids who played during the night study time and then pretended to study when the teacher came in……

At that time, a long shadow fell over my head.

“You guys sure look like you’re having fun.”

It was Kyle. So you were the culprit.

I tilted my head back and lifted the fabric I was working on. Then, I spoke in a calm voice.

“Would you like to do this too? Or do you not have this kind of dexterity.”

The surrounding remained silent. Kyle smiled lightly and supported my back. He put his arm around my knees and lifted them.

“Sure.”

“……No. Why are you lifting me up?”

“I’ll have to borrow you for a moment.”

“Why!?”

Kyle carried me away without answering me.

I felt discontent until I realized his destination. ……Are you serious? Is it the study? Why are you so obsessed with the study!?

‘System! Open the store, the store!’

[☆*:.。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆]

[!Nut Store!]

Forget the sparkly neon sign. I hit the Love Love Corner like a mad man with sweat falling down my forehead.

[╰（‵□′）╯]

Okay, okay. Next time I’ll press the button only once so hurry up.

[Love Love Corner~❤]

I chewed my nails nervously, looking back and forth between the study and the system window.

‘……So how many Hearts did I have again?’

Didn’t I use a lot last time?

[Currently Possessing Hearts ｜ ❤×52]

“…….”

I slapped my face.

From my memory, the replica hamster lasted 30 minutes and costed 100 hearts.

Alright. I admit this was karma. I shouldn’t have bought the damned hamster clothes and the yarn. This was why people have to save money in case of emergency.

I trembled, cursing my past self. Kyle looked down with a puzzled face and asked, “Are you hurting anywhere?”, but I just shook my head.

Let’s calm down.

There may be a way out of this predicament.

[Replica hamster to soothe the loneliness (Duration : 30 minutes) ｜ ❤×100]

The purchasable items were in blue, and the non-purchasable ones were gray. Of course, the replica hamster was colored gray.

Now. Let’s make it half the price just for today. 50 Hearts for 15 minutes. How’s that? You could adjust it right?

[ಠ﹏ಠ]

It was a difficult expression.

I smiled nicely and started rambling to the system.

‘Think about it. It’s your loss if I get caught.’

I don’t know why you are even helping me, but isn’t it because there’s a benefit to it? Whether it’s Miracle Points or Hearts, wouldn’t it be good if I were to spend more?

[￣へ￣]

Truly a disappointing response.

Then what else could I do. I’ll have to change my methods.

I licked my lips and smiled softly. When persuading someone, impressions were important. Wasn’t there a saying that you can’t spit on a smiling face?

So I clasped both my hands together with a bright smile on my face and muttered softly.

‘Would it be faster for me to bash the button and break the store, or would it be faster for you to give me a discount?’

[(°▽°)]

The system paused for a moment as if it were thinking and let out a [……Loading……] window before opening the renewed shop.

I waved away a series of dissatisfied emotes. Those weren’t important right now. I was in a hurry.

While I was looking for the replica hamster, Kyle has already arrived in front of the study. Luckily, I made it on time.

[‘Replica hamster to soothe the loneliness’ has been added to your inventory!]

I felt a sense of relief and looked up. I made eye contact with Kyle.

“……Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Your expressions were amusing, so I was wondering what you were thinking.”

“…….”

I opened and closed my mouth without being able to say anything back, and in the end just let out a cough.

Kyle was about to say something, but someone passed by and bowed to him. Seeing his clothes and the book in his hands, he seemed to be a magician.

“Tomorrow afternoon, I will come see you in the study, Your Highness.”

“Alright.”

Hm? Why are they meeting tomorrow? What is it? Magician?

I fixed my gaze at Kyle hoping to receive an explanation from him. He opened the door using his shoulder and entered the study room.

“Cashew hasn’t been growing much lately, so I asked a magician to take a look at it. I can use magic myself, but I am not skilled enough to fine-tune the details or to see others’ magic. It would be best to leave this to the experts.”

“……Oh. Oooh.”

If my life were a rollercoaster, the only path it would go was downwards. No, rather than a rollercoaster, this was more like a bungee jump. A jump with its rope cut off.

How could you do this to me?

I wanted to say that it would grow on its own even if it wasn’t injected with mana…… should I say that to him now? No, no. It would be suspicious if I told him this late.

‘Hey. System. Would it be alright for me to accept the mana into my body? Will anything happen?’

[¯_(‘0’)_/¯]

……Understood. So you don’t know anything either.

I got down from his arms, sighed, and carefully placed the replica hamster into the nest.

I don’t know anymore. What happens, happens. It’s already difficult for me to solve the misfortune in front of me right now.

“Now, where is our demonic beast.”

As I pretended to look for the hamster carelessly, Kyle came over and grabbed my hand that was scrambling through the sawdust.

“Didn’t you say it would get surprised if you searched for it like that.”

“Ah, yes…….”

Kyle gently held the crying replica hamster in his hands and inspected it for a while. This needlessly sharp bastard.

I praised the replica hamster excessively to redirect Kyle’s attention. Wow! Our demonic beast! Wow! You squeak so well!

Fortunately, I was able to have him sit down for tea before 15 minutes passed. I also gave him needles and fabric to teach him how to make quilts.

Please spend your time with this from now on. Don’t bother the hamster for no reason.

--------------------------------------------------------

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

[qiutls]

TNGDH 016

There was a commotion upon our arrival. I could feel dozens of eyes staring at me and Sen followed by murmurs of the aristocrats at the banquet.

This kind of attention is too burdensome and... No, let's just forget it, thinking about how taxing it is, is also troublesome.

The guard continued to look at the back of the invitation and looked at me like I was some weirdo.

'Belial Serena Minehardt.'

I'm someone who came with the invitation of the prince, so of course, they're not letting me in and choosing to make a spectacle out of this.

"Wait here for a moment."

"I already gave you the invitation, what do you mean 'wait'?"

Sen who was awkwardly fiddling with her exposed neckline due to the structure of the dress and her tied-up hair, asked irritably.

"You're saying you received this from the prince himself?"

The guard continued to say in a flat tone, as if seemingly knowing Sen.

"A maid and an unknown person came to the banquet with the prince's invitation. Do you think it's believable? What if you guys stole this invitation and caused havoc in the banquet? It's going to be a pain in the ass to solve the situation."

"How could that be? It's true that I gave that invitation to them. Will you be responsible if there's any problem?"

"Yes, yes, I will handle- Y-your Highness!"

The guard who was originally continuing to talk down on us, bowed his head in a hurry.

Coming from the back, Belial who was dressed in vibrant clothes walked towards us with his arms folded. If you said it was a tiger coming straight towards us, I would have believed you. Right now, he doesn't look gentlemanly one bit.

Belial's green eyes narrowed at me and then glanced at Sen's and my clothes.

"It fits you well. Do you like the clothes I prepared?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

I answered frankly.

"It fits me really well to the point that it's a bit strange."

How could you have guessed it so accurately with just your eyes. Are you a pervert?

"It's because I have a good eye, by the way, why haven't you gone inside yet?"

At this point, the guard could no longer stop us from entering the banquet. It was best not to get in the way of aristocrats.

He gave way with an embarrassed look, and only then did Sen and I enter the banquet hall. The person behind us didn't have an invitation, yet it was impossible to stop him from entering the banquet hall.  Just how thick is his face?

"...Wow."

Honestly, the banquet hall was amazing. I even wondered if all the money amassed from the north had been poured into it.

The grey ceilings and walls, which originally had felt desolate, were brightly lit up and gave off a pleasant feeling. There were countless people walking around and each table was filled with food and alcohol.

'It's definitely a once in a year luxury.'

I heard that a crowd of people came from the capital, no wonder, if I also experienced this, I'd come back again. Considering the money these aristocrats spent in the North during the festival, it's considered more of a bold investment than a waste.

I looked around fiddling with my uncomfortable stiff neck.

'...An hour. Can I make it in an hour?'

The time limit was more generous than before, but that doesn't mean I should be relaxed.

If I'm unlucky the chandelier might fall off as soon as I leave the banquet hall. I glared at the innocent ceiling.

[ Here's a surprise event for just you!  ٩( ᐛ )و ]

Ack! You scared me.

I backed away with a start, surprised at the screen that suddenly showed up in front of me. Can't you let me know first before showing up!

[ ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡ ] Ah... The system can't even knock...

"Anyway, what's this damn surprise event?"

[ Celebrating the miracle value reaching 10%! From now on, you can use the 'Nut Shop'! (However, all items are one-time only. ※) ]

What shop? Nuts? Nut shop?

'...Why? The walnuts I didn't eat are buried in sawdust at the study though...'

[ Should I show you the items? ]

This kind of explanation, maybe its different from what I'm thinking?

I glanced at the surroundings making sure no one was paying attention and nodded slightly so it didn't show. Sen seemed to be busy talking to Belial, and Kyle was occupied as the host of this grand banquet.

I went to the table full of food and began to take whatever looked appetizing.

Soon, items from the 'Nut Shop' appeared one after another in the system window.

[ Pecan Pie in the air, consumes 4% miracle value, purchasing this item can grant you flight for 10 minutes. ]

[ Chameleon Pistachio cookie, consumes 3% miracle value, purchasing this item can grant you invisibility for 30 minutes. ]

[ Detoxifying Chestnut bread, consumes 2% miracle value, purchasing this item can neutralize all kinds of poison, you can even relieve hangovers with it! ]

'...No, wait a minute!'

I'm not paying for it with money nor nuts, but miracle value? Isn't that too mean. This miracle value is my lifeline!

There was a series of other items below, but most of them were very useless.

Anyway, if there's anything I need that much to use the miracle value, I need to use it well... But not right now, I only have 11%.

"Wait."

At that time, there was an item that caught my eye.

[ Long-lasting Acorn cookie, consumes 1% miracle value, purchasing this item grants an extension of 1 hour for the skill "Summon." ]

An item that increased the skill's duration.

So you're taking away 1% miracle value, and only adding up to an hour? Aside from that, I can only buy it once? It's so not cost-effective!

"I'm gonna go crazy."

I can only hope I wouldn't need to buy it.

"Whatever, let's eat first."

That's right, even in Geumgangsan, eating is priority. I've been starving all day, I think I'm going to die of hunger if I don't eat now. I began to eat the food I piled up on my plate, savoring each bite.

*Geumgangsan is a mountain in Busan that's famous to hikers, basically its a very intimidating hike and Shu is comparing that mountain to the currently troublesome situation.*

After all the chandelier in question still hung peacefully at the top of the dance hall, yet no one was dancing. Belial was talking to other aristocrats, and Kyle... Wait is he looking towards me? That's impossible!

I stabbed the fork right through the fish in my plate and placed the meat in my mouth. The sour and sweet taste spread through my tongue.

'Hmm. That's delicious.'

The fish meat was juicy and savory despite being out in the cold.

I also tried the salad with some grilled vegetables, and dried plums while I was at it. I thought the texture of tomatoes would not be enjoyable as it is soft, but it also adds flavor as it was grilled thoroughly.

"I thought dishes would be a little bland in the North, but it's unexpectedly flavorful."

I guess it's because all the meat is juicy. Magical beast meat, which were neither beef nor lamb, was fried crispy on the outside and dipped in sauce. When I took a piece and put it in my mouth, it felt like the meat was melting at how tender it was.

...I was a little curious what kind of meat it was, since it was more tasty than I thought. But I somehow feel like I shouldn't know. There is indeed a saying, that ignorance is bliss.

[ (00) ]

Don't say anything! If I don't eat this now, when will I ever get the chance to eat it?

So while others chatted in moderation, I ate hard. When you're thirsty, there's plenty of champagne to go around, then you can eat again. When you feel like your sugar level is dropping low, enjoy a cream cake as dessert. After that, you can start from the beginning and drink soup as an appetizer.

'Hmm. It's probably fine to eat this much.'

Isn't it known that it takes 2 hours to fill your stomach during a buffet. Well, at least that's what I remember. I've only eaten for around 30 minutes, I have a lot more time.

I dipped a piece of bread into the chocolate sauce and accidentally made eye contact with Kyle as I put the bread in my mouth.

Seeing his eyes full of concern, he must be thinking that he wants his hamster to eat as well as me. Don't worry~ I'm eating quite well right now, aren't I?

"You-"

...Huh? What's this.

Kyle's expression looked unusual.

He slightly raised his hand to stop the crowd gathered around him from talking and excused himself. He took large strides towards me.

I thought the distance between us was quite wide, but with his long legs, just a few steps brought us closer in an instant.

"...Me?"

For a moment I could feel the northern wind blow at my neck, giving me goosebumps... Don't tell me.

"Have we met before?"

Of course we did. But you probably can't remember it properly because I was wearing a maid's uniform. I answered half-heartedly and avoided his gaze.

"I don't think so, Your Highness."

I hope you think so too.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Then, Kyle's crimson eyes flashed dangerously.

'Ah... You're not falling for my lies, aren't you?'

There's quite a few people here, so let's move on and forget about these insignificant memories. Come on, it's not like announcing you caught a pervert in front of this many people is a good image.

And in the first place, I'm not a pervert! I'm a victim too, okay?

"That companion-"

No! That's not me!

I hurriedly stretched out my arms to cover his mouth. What are you saying ah! Companion what? You're talking nonsense! And right now I'm a human okay, not a companionship hamster!

Kyle stared into my eyes, what his gaze meant was clear, 'Look, we have met before, haven't we?'

...You clever bastard. So that was a trap?

"Ehem, won't you say the food here in the North is quite delicious?"

I stepped back, pretending I didn't care about this meeting.

"I think I'll have one more plate."

But Kyle clasped my arm, stopping me from moving. He was only using one hand, yet he prevented me from taking another step. Ack, you're so strong, I guess you're not the leader of the North for nothing.

Still, this is wrong! I don't have an excuse, okay? I was wrong, but I was desperate and made a mistake. Like I said, I wasn't confessing my love okay, I was saying that I'm your pet hamster. It just got cut off at the most important part. Ah I'm going crazy!

"Haha, let me put this plate down first."

At times like this, ignorance is the best!

That's right. I don't know anything.

I tried to wriggle my hand free from his grasp once again.

"Hm, it seems like my guest is in trouble."

Belial looked at me, and then at Kyle's grasp on my wrist. A big smile was plastered on his face.

Kyle looked at Belial grimly, as if he wanted to punch him at this second, but instead released me slowly.

It's a nice situation. I'm afraid if I were in my hamster form right now, Belial's head would've been cut off already.

"Did you just say, your guest?"

"That's right, grand duke, this person, is someone special to me."

As I hid behind Belial, Sen came quickly, distributing flowers amongst us. White and red flowers with petals that were sturdier than other flowers were given to the guests. It seems like a type of camelia that grew in the Northern lands.

"The flower presentation is commencing soon."

Sen whispered.

"After the flower presentation ceremony, the main dance will start. Have you attended the ceremony before?"

"...No."

"The meaning of white flower is respect and the red one is love. Usually the people of the north give the white flower to His Highness, Kyle, and the red flower is given to their lovers to request for a dance, or to confess to someone they adore."

I nodded as I listed to Sen's explanation. I noticed the large basket near Kyle's seat. Since the people of Blake's estate typically give the white flowers to Kyle. The aristocrats also show courtesy by giving him their flowers. It was common sense to show respect to the leader of the land after all.

'I... I already promised to give this flower to Belial and not Kyle.'

Just then, I could feel Kyle's gaze over Belial's shoulders. What's wrong with you! You're gonna burn a hole into me.

"Everyone! The flower presentation ceremony starts now!"

With the announcer's declaration, I felt two pairs of eyes fall on me.

...Ah.

I'm doomed, again.

t/n : thanks for the support everyone! up to chapter 19 is available here, early update since i wont be available at 11 am ^^

[armandfucker]

Fic Drabble I might finish tomorrow

When he awoke to immortality, one of the only things Daniel was upset about was not being able to taste anymore.

At his core he was a hedonist; whether food, drugs, drink or sex, he wanted it and he wanted it to excess.

His appetites hadn’t changed with the dark gift but the cravings for food were unattainable. He woke up in his coffin thinking about a cone of cherry gelato he had in ‘98, the way the melted cream ran out the bottom of the cone and he had to lick it off his hand. He thought longingly of the chicken soup of his childhood that his grandma made and his mother could never quite recreate. The cravings didn’t lessen despite him trying to eat food and each mouthful tasting like sawdust and sand.

If Armand hadn’t fucked off, he would have asked his maker how to stop them. Drifting memories were returning to him like scents on the breeze. He could remember Armand telling him about the food he ate as a human, in his masters grand palazzo. Daniel couldn’t remember if Armand ever mentioned craving that food after being turned. He’d never attempted to eat the food he bought Daniel although he would sometimes delve into his mind to watch the associations that food would domino through his thoughts. Daniel didn’t think this was down to Armand wanting human food, just that he loved delving into human brains to see how they ticked.

It pissed him off that, months after his turning, Daniel was still wishing for Armand.

He couldn’t help but wonder what Armand would say to certain questions, what he would think of Daniel’s hunting techniques or what he would think of Daniel falling off the wagon. Why did he care? Armand certainly didn’t.

Armand had followed him back to New York after he’d split with Louis. Daniel’s memories had been returning in slow pulses after the revelation of Divisadero Street. It was as though Armand had knocked a hole in the mental dam that was keeping the memories contained. Images and feelings appeared in his mind as though they had always been there. Each one slid into place like replacing a library book onto its assigned shelf, filling the gap between its neighbors perfectly.

He should have known to expect Armand to come, especially after remembering the chase across Europe, especially after remembering Pompeii.

But he’d been so focused on the past that he hadn’t even considered Armand coming after him. Two weeks after he’d returned home, two weeks into writing feverishly and putting his memories back into place, Armand came for him.

Like the gremlin he was, Armand sat on the edge of his bed, silhouetted against the orange glow of the window. His claws teased along Daniel’s jawline and his breath brushed Daniel’s hair as he whispered “There you are, my boy.”. Daniel didn’t say anything. He didn’t have a chance to, Armand had already bit down with paralysing speed.

Daniel doesn’t remember the rest. He remembers coming back to himself, drenched in blood. He’d crawled to the bathroom and into his bathtub, sobbing through bouts of pain worse than he’d ever imagined.

When he awoke, Louis was there. And Armand was not.

[aziraphales-library]

Hullo! Got any fics about Crowley being in a relationship with Jesus? Blaspheme me, babes!

Hi! Here are some Crowley/Jesus fics...

Once Before by i_am_a_hog (T)

“Your turn,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes. “What does the J stand for? Anthony J-“ he looked at Crowley expectantly. Cold fear ran through Crowley; if Aziraphale asked this, he wouldn’t stop before Crowley had completely revealed himself. His throat was closed up, but he managed a grin and forced out the first word he could come up with. “Janthony.” Aziraphale looked baffled for a moment before he raised his eyebrows. “No,” he decided and reached for Crowley’s hand.

The Pain Sent From Above by i_am_a_hog (M)

“You’re not of my kind,” Jesus said. There was a smile, curling around the corners of his wine-stained lips. Crowley could have protested, tried to uphold an illusion he knew pointless, but he gave in easier than he should have. Because Jesus felt familiar, as if the feeling of trust had become a person. “I don’t think anybody is quite your kind,” he replied, breathlessly, as his fingers trembled against his thigh.

Dan Brown Has No Goddamn Idea by EightMinutesToSunrise (T)

THE GROUPCHAT: Me: Not to get Weird but Crowley is sometimes a woman and uh Me: Mary Magdalene dressed... Like That Me: I dont know what im doing Honestly but Crowley bullshits the prostitute story because when he shows up around jesus as a downtrodden woman looking for redemption, calling herself wicked, everyone just assumes... SO ANYWAY I, WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT JESUS THAT'S NOT IN JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR, GOT PRESSGANGED INTO WRITING THIS I dunno guys it's angsty, sometimes cute, they don't even bang onscreen, it all ends in tears

Travel Opportunities by amelia (E)

Crawly tries her best to tempt the new prophet, Jesus, but who’s seducing whom? “I climbed all the way up this damned hill to see you. At least you could offer me something to eat.”   “Ah–I expected you to be the one bringing offerings.” There was an awkward silence. “What kind of host are you?” Crawly taunted him. “Why don’t you miracle us up some bread from these stones?"   This is a story of how the demon becomes known as Crowley, how she does Mary Magdalene a favor, and how she distracts our favorite fussy angel.

Hisses and Sawdust by ineffablymanic (T)

A heartbroken demon on a healing journey befriends a carpenter. or What if two unearthly beings met and thought the other was human? or What would you do if you realized you were accidentally flirting with your ex-bosses sacred offspring? or The author tries her damnedest to imagine what it would be like if an occult being decided to become more mortal

- Mod D

[mrhaitch]

HIHI Mr. Haitch! Sorry for not sending in any asks… I’ve been opening my phone, thinking to myself “hm maybe I send in an ask”, typing about half of it, then passing out in bed. Every single time it doesn’t save and at this point it’s kinda annoying so I decided to write this as fast as possible as to not fall asleep while doing so :). Anyways the week has been a WEEK. Kinda drama ish but too much to type so we won’t get into it but the only hint you get is that I’m pining over someone I reaaaally shouldn’t be pining over.

What animal do you think represents you best? I imagine people not as who they are but what they are associated with in my mind so you to me are like a big buff English teacher who in my mind looks like a buff version of Hedwig the owl

Name one thing you regret doing this week? I regret going to bed so late yesterday and still waking up at the asscrack of dawn.

Favourite thanksgiving food? (I don’t really celebrate it especially since it’s American thanksgiving and I no America but mine is always mashed potatoes)

FUN FACT: THERE ARE GAY PENGUINS!!! THEY CAN RAISE CHILDREN TOGETHER!!! DOLPHINS AND OTHER BIRDS CAN BE GAY TOO 🥺🥺🥺😫😫😫❤️❤️❤️. They’re adorable. They are more likely to be gay in captivity like zoos because it gives them more time and energy to be explorative with that and even though I think this is pretty well known I thought it was cute so I had to say it.

You have my sympathy, this has been a week.

1. Hard to say - I like most animals. Haitch used to compare me to a cat, so maybe that? Definitely not buff though.

2. Lost my temper with a couple of students this week. One seemed determined to get kicked out on his first day (and succeeded): he verbally abused some of the girls in the corridor, abused some of the other students in class, and then went for me. I had called him out on the others, gave multiple warnings, and now has the dubious honour of being the first (and so far only) student I've ever kicked out of class. He is not coming back. The other was a girl with considerable anger issues who I've otherwise got a good relationship with, but she ended up forcing my hand with her behaviour yesterday and I had to put my foot down with her. Not a good week.

3. Not a thing in the UK, at all. To the extent I don't really know what Americans eat during the holiday except, maybe, turkey. Which I view with disdain - no good ingredient should require that level of work to stop it from becoming tasteless sawdust when you cook it.

4. While that's very sweet, I have a horror of penguins and dolphins. Bottle nosed dolphins are known to kill their own young for personal amusement. And, well, the existence of Adélie penguins proves there is no God.

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

A Swallow's Symphony In Spring (1/19)

Chapter 1 - Come Wander Quietly

Masterpost | Next ->

----

Warnings: bad parenting

Word Count: 3255

----

Summons to breakfast with his family had never meant anything good in Roman’s household. At least, they never meant anything good for Roman himself, he was fairly certain his parents saw things differently. 

Usually, his parents used the breakfasts as a way to tell him the most recent ‘good’ news - news that Roman almost never agreed was good. Occasionally it was things he could deal with, most of the time it was things that would make his life just that much more difficult, like their decision to get rid of his old handmaiden, who had supposedly gotten too old for her job. They’d told him that they now expected him to get up, wash and dress on his own from that point forward. It wasn’t like he’d been helped all his life with those things or anything, just because they didn’t want to expend money on someone new, it had taken him a painful while to adjust. 

So no, this breakfast summons, a week before the anniversary of his brother’s passing no less, was not a good thing by any possible stretch of the word. 

“Ah, there you are, Roman,” the Queen said, voice prim and proper as she snapped her fingers at his seat, wordlessly commanding that he sit down. Roman did so as promptly as he could without being improper - a skill well learned over the years, “Your father and I have something we must discuss with you.”

Roman’s father sat opposite him, neither the king nor the queen had touched the breakfast buffet elegantly laid out between the three of them. Roman knew well enough that he couldn’t eat until they did, no matter how hungry he was. His father looked rather unimpressed with the situation.

“What is the news?” Roman asked, probably a little later than he should have. He hadn’t realised they were waiting for him to ask before telling him what the weekly burden on his life would be. 

His father cleared his throat, “Well, considering you no longer have a maid and have clearly been struggling with adjustments, alongside our wish to keep you safe-”

Yeah, right, Roman thought and didn’t say. He knew his parents didn’t care about his wellbeing, just that he was alive, well behaved and expressed the correct opinions when asked. 

“-the Queen and I have come to the decision that it is in all of our best interests that you are assigned a personal guard post haste,” The king finished. 

Roman felt his heart drop to his stomach.

“Indeed,” the Queen continued, finally reaching for a pastry, her movements dainty and careful. “We do not want you to be in danger, nor do we want you able to cause trouble. We believe a personal guard is the best solution. What do you think, Roman?”

Awful, Roman thought, but once again didn’t say. This is awful, horrible, the worst thing you’ve done yet. “It’s a great idea, mother,” He said instead, “I would be very grateful for protection - do you already have someone picked out?”

“No need to get so ahead of yourself,” The Queen said, pausing to take a dainty bite of her food, “Eat first, we will discuss the specifics afterwards.”

“Yes, mother,” Roman said, barely suppressing a sigh with years of practice.

There was a reason Roman’s parents always announced these things at breakfast, at least in Roman’s mind, and that was because the lovely food the chefs had prepared for them now simply tasted like sawdust in Roman’s mouth. The dread at the prospect of being followed and watched and reported on every minute of every day was pooling in his stomach and made it hard to eat anything. He was forced to, though, his parents wouldn’t let him leave until he’d finished his share.

Announcements like these would typically sour the rest of the day for Roman too, no matter what he was doing. They especially liked to give these announcements on Roman’s very few free days - because then he couldn’t even train through the frustration. Now his plans to sit and draw in the gardens were ruined. Roman couldn’t draw when he was worked up like this. 

“Throughout the week,” The Queen explained after they had all finished eating - a timeframe that felt like an eternity for Roman - “Potential guards we have picked out of our most recent lineup of new recruits will be presenting themselves to you, you will pick one of them.”

Roman would take such a small hint of relief. Even if all of these potential guards were hand picked by his parents, Roman would at least get to choose between them. Hopefully he would be able to work out which of them would be the least unpleasant to be around.

“They will guard you at all times,” The Queen continued, “Aside from during your training and lessons, and they will report back to us just as your teachers do, to ensure your safety and integrity remain intact.”

Roman almost let his emotions show on his face, though he was quick to make sure he remained stoic and composed. All the time? Did that mean they’d be ‘watching over him’ whilst he slept, too? Would he not get even a single moment of peace? Surely that would mean… his parents would certainly find out about things he didn’t want them knowing if that was the case. 

Roman was doomed. 

—

“I just don’t know what to do, Thomas,” Roman cried as he paced the small study back and forth. His advisor - a man named Thomas, who was surprisingly kind for someone appointed by Roman’s parents - “How am I supposed to choose a guard? Do I get to read their application letters? How will I know who I am supposed to pick?”

Roman couldn’t truly vent about his problems, not to Thomas or any of the staff. It seemed whenever he tried it would always get back to his parents somehow and the staff member would be punished or fired. This - venting about the trivial part of the issue - was really all he could do. It only helped a little, but at least it helped.

“I suppose I could request your parents allow you to read the candidate’s letters?” Thomas offered, “But really, sire, I wouldn’t panic so much, you’ll get to meet each of them in person through the week. Just see who you feel to be a good fit. You’re a good judge of character, Your Highness, I think you can do it.”

It may not be the thing that was really causing his turmoil, but Thomas’ reassuring words did help at least a little. Roman breathed a sigh of relief, “If you can, that would be wonderful… but don’t press them for it if not, I wouldn’t want you getting into trouble.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” Thomas said, bowing his head as he took a note, “The first candidate will be here tomorrow at nine, make sure you are ready for them.”

Taking a deep breath, Roman nodded. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about waking up on time, since he was more than certain he wouldn’t be able to get any decent sleep tonight regardless.

—-

It had been four days, Roman had seen twelve people come through the throne room and not one of them had stood out to him as someone Roman would be willing to have hanging around him all the time. Three of them had actively scared him, though he supposed being large, muscular and menacing was something a guard should be. They just hadn’t sat well with Roman. Five of them had looked downright mean. The looks on their faces angry or condescending, Roman thought he wouldn’t be able to stay sane and put together if he ended up with one of them. The others had simply felt off in a way Roman couldn’t hope to describe. 

And then, on the second last day Roman had to choose, there was him. ‘Pretty’ had been his first thought, which he had quickly brushed off. He couldn’t be thinking like that. 

The guard was, of course, dressed like the others had been, though this one wore a cloak with a bird pin attached over his armour. He wasn’t obviously muscular, though he was tall and held himself in such a way that made Roman sure he would deal with any threat swiftly and effortlessly. Shaggy black hair almost hid the way his stormy grey eyes darted around the room to land on him, lounging in his throne. He attempted to exude the energy his parents liked him to have - an energy that made it seem like he had no cares in the world. He wanted this guy to think Roman didn’t care that he was here in the slightest. 

“Which one is this?” Roman barked to Thomas, who sat a little ways away from him, a scroll on the side. He noticed the guard frown out of the corner of his eye.

“One of the Aynesworth’s old Guard, Sire,” Thomas replied, quickly flipping through his scroll. Roman hummed with a nod, turning to look back at the guard, who had since kneeled on the plush carpet.

“Rise,” Roman commanded, the guard did so with a slight shake - Roman wondered if he was nervous, he could understand why - but most of the other guards had either been uncaring or looked down on him, this difference was interesting to him, “Will you introduce yourself or shall we continue to stare at each other?”

“Wynter,” The guard said quickly - “Um, Virgil, Virgil Wynter, Your Highness.”

Very nervous, it seemed. Roman thought that might be a good thing, though. At least it was different. Roman couldn’t help but notice more about him as minutes went on - he was thin, too thin, like he hadn’t had enough to eat. The way his eyes darted around seemed to be something he did with nerves, always checking his surroundings. Roman supposed that vigilance was a good quality in a guard, though this man didn’t hold himself like any guard he’d ever met. 

“This one,” Roman said, looking back over to Thomas, who looked surprised at the outburst. Roman was a little surprised too, but something drew him to this stranger.

“Are you sure, sire?” Thomas asked, Roman frowned - if he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have said that, “Don’t you want to meet the others?”

“No,” Roman said, tone a little too sharp, a little too petulant. Roman hated the way he himself was acting.  “He’s the one I want.”

Sighing, Thomas noted something down on his scroll and looked back towards the guard, who was now just standing there in the middle of the room - Roman couldn’t help but think he looked incredibly out of place, “In that case,” Thomas grabbed his attention back, “I shall let the Queen and King know immediately - and have letters delivered to the other potential guards post haste -” He stood up, making his way over to Wynter. Roman watched as Thomas whispered something to the guard before heading to a side door tucked away in the back of the throne room. 

Now that they were alone - aside from the guards posted on the throne room doors, of course - Roman’s eyes found this new guard again. Once again he looked him over, trying to figure out what was so off about him. There was just something that didn’t quite fit into the mould his parents had set out. All of the other guards he’d been presented with were at least somewhat similar. Wynter wasn’t. Roman wondered if there was something else about him that had made his parents pick him out. It was in his favour, certainly, but it still didn’t make sense. 

Now that he was done with choosing a guard, Roman wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to do now. As far as he was aware it meant that he would be free until the end of the week - he wasn’t foolish enough to think that his parents wouldn’t just schedule more training instead. 

“Your highness,” Said a small page boy, who had appeared by his throne without Roman’s notice and was now offering him a piece of parchment with a note on it. He took it, and the page bowed and scurried off as Roman read it. He sighed.

“Wynter,” Roman called in the most commanding tone he could manage as he stood up and walked over, “The Queen approves of you and requires we spend the afternoon in each other's - company…”

Company? Roman re-read the note with a frown, that made no sense at all - why would his mother want them to spend time together? Last time he’d gotten to know a member of staff she’d been taken away. 

“Yes, Your Highness,” Wynter said with a polite bow of his head. It took a few seconds for Roman to realise why the Queen wanted them to talk - she had hired this guard to spy on him, after all, and she was more likely to find things out if Roman trusted Wynter enough to tell him things. Roman almost groaned aloud. This was going to be painful.

Eventually, after much deliberation, Roman decided that he needed to do as she said. He wouldn’t get away with not talking to Wynter, after all, Wynter would tell her he hadn’t. “So-” he started, not quite anticipating how awkward that would sound, “Would you like to see the gardens? They’re lovely this time of year," he asked. Wynter looked a little surprised, but made an aborted move to shrug before stopping himself.

“I cannot control where you go, Your Highness,” He said, ducking his head so that Roman couldn’t look into his eyes. Roman frowned. 

“I am asking your opinion, Wynter,” Roman said back, a little bit more harsh than he would’ve liked - he hated acting like his parents. He was really hoping he would be able to get Wynter somewhere he could talk to him a little more genuinely - if not entirely. Wynter gasped - barely a sharp intake of breath, but Roman noticed - he shifted awkwardly and Roman couldn’t fathom what was so wrong.

“Um…” He said, looking away, Roman simply waited for an answer and wondered why he was so nervous. “Yes, your highness, the uh- the gardens sound like a great idea.” He says it like he’s forcing the words through his teeth. 

Well, Roman thought, he best not dwell on it. He already knew having a guard was going to be awful, so it didn’t matter. He only nodded before clapping his hands twice - a signal for the guards on the door to open it for them - before silently leading the way through the castle back outside. The entire way Roman was aware of Wynter watching him, following behind like a shadow and making Roman feel uneasy and all kinds of bad as they went.

Outside, Roman began to give Wynter a tour. The gardens were one of his favourite places in the castle - and they looked especially lovely in early autumn - so he spent a lot of time there. If they were supposed to make conversation, Roman thought it would be fairly safe to simply talk about the gardens. All the while he kept an eye on Wynter and maintained his facade of indifference and poise even though he was incredibly excited to talk about all of the interesting kinds of flowers and plants they had here. This place was practically one of his only windows to the outside world, of course he loved it, but he couldn’t just say that. 

About halfway through his attempt at a nonchalant and uncaring tour of the garden, he started noticing Wynter frowning and almost glaring at the plants when he wasn’t looking. Turning, Roman raised an eyebrow, he wondered what had Virgil disliking the garden so obviously.

“Do you not like them?” Roman asked, making a gesture to the flowers around them, Wynter went to say something, but Roman could already see the lie forming on his tongue, so he held up a finger to interrupt, Wynter jumped, “Be honest.”

“The gardens are… objectively, beautiful, sire,” Wynter said slowly after a long, tense moment. Roman narrowed his eyes, but Wynter continued, “But… despite its beauty, I can’t help but think there could have been a better use for all the money spent here.”

Roman had to lean closer to hear the end of his sentence with how quietly he’d whispered it. Wynter glanced around, eyes darting around as if he was expecting other guards to jump out of the bushes and drag him off. Frowning, Roman watched his new guard - with his lowered head and slightly vacant expression - and tried to work out what on earth was going on. 

“What… whatever do you mean?” Roman asked, tilting his head a little. The gardens had been expensive, yes, though he didn’t know exactly how much had been spent on them, he just wasn’t sure why Wynter was complaining about it. He realised abruptly that he must’ve said the wrong thing, though, when Wynter whipped around, pure rage on his face for just a second long enough to make Roman flinch away before he seemed to immediately calm down completely. It was almost as impressive as Roman’s own mask. He couldn’t fathom why he was so upset. 

Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down, Wynter spoke again, “Well, I- suppose, maybe the money may have been better spent improving… um… quality of life, for the townsfolk?”

“Why would they need that?” Roman asked with far too little thought put into his words first, even he knew it this time as he said it, and oh look, there was that raging anger again, “Aren’t they all already happy? I thought-”

He trailed off, letting the both of them fall into silence since Wynter didn’t seem to want to respond to him. Eventually, Roman gave him a look - wanting an answer - and he sighed, “No, they’re not happy,” He said, clasping his hands together in front of him, Roman felt like he’d been slapped. “Many people in the kingdom are suffering.”

Instinctually, Roman thought Wynter must be lying, trying to get to him, why would his parents - much less Thomas and the rest of the staff - lie to him about the state of the denizens of their kingdom? Everyone in the castle said the kingdom was doing well, why should he trust this guard who he’d just met twenty minutes ago? “Surely you lie,” Roman said, turning up his nose, “That cannot be true.”

There was a long silence then, and after a while of staring at each other with no real effect on either part, Roman gave up and turned away, resuming his walk around the garden. This time, however, he neglected to continue his tour, he didn’t feel much like talking now, and Wynter seemed to share that sentiment. They didn’t talk again the entire afternoon

After they’d left the garden, Roman resumed his more princely persona entirely. He’d let his guard slip just a little out in the garden, now his walls were right back up. He decided he wouldn’t interact with Wynter unless he really needed to - and that was really just to snap orders at him. If Wynter was going to be rude and lie to him, Roman saw no reason that he should be nice in return. He was also… well, still terrified that anything he did would get back to his parents now.

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Masterpost | Next -

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Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @littlerat2 ( if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

I'm only tagging you guys in this post so as not to spam, but all chapters of this fic will be uploaded to tumblr by the end of today.

[regretevator-headcanons]

if mark could eat i think hed genuinely enjoy having sawdust in his food. get him out of the kitchen hes putting sawdust in the rice krispy treats

i also think he snores rlly loudly

also i feel like he can "bristle" where little bits of wood on his body stick up and he gets all pokey. like how a porcupine raises its quills except its a bunch of splinters

THE BRISTLE THING IS SO CUTE just a little guy

also if you haven't seen this post (read on the smosh channel) you should because it makes me so angry and this post reminds me of it

[gettingcomfortable-inmyskin]

It would appear I've lost 13.1 pounds. Though my body fat percentage hasn't changed. Which means I'm likely losing muscle. I KNOW I need to either get back to the gym with free weights or take 30 minutes for a session of resistance bands training at home but for some reason I just cannot motivate myself to do so.

I still have to literally force myself to eat. There's no desire, no hunger pains (usually), no cravings. I've found that chicken now tastes like sawdust when I try to eat it. That's disappointing for a couple reasons - 1, I love chicken (or at least used to) and 2, chicken is a cheap protein and with me being unemployed we definitely need to tighten the budget.

My guys at the nutrition/supplement store I go to assure me that I can preserve my muscle mass and lower my body fat percentage just by increasing the protein. So I'll start there I guess. But I really REALLY need to get back on my strength training. I know I'll be happy once I just fucking DO IT. I always feel great after a workout, it's just getting the drive to do it that sucks for me.

I feel like some of my clothing fits differently. But I'm still not feeling any real sense of excitement considering I'm still 20 pounds heavier than I was when I was at my kickboxing gym and maintained a 6 days a week workout routine. I don't think I'm going to feel any excitement until I'm under 200.

I should probably make a few "smaller" goals so that I don't get too discouraged with how slow this is all going. Like I know my end goal weight is somewhere around 140. But that is SO far away that I need a shorter term goal - which is to get under 200. That's only 17 pounds away.

[intruderzim]

diet culture is such utter horseshit. why on earth should pasta not be consumed and enjoyed. (aside from allergens and true intolerances) why deprive yourself of one of the most human ways to connect with the world around you: enjoying food. and emphasis on ENJOYING, not just eating sawdust protein bars to keep your stupid flesh body alive so you can put more sawdust in it. humans have cultivated and created and experimented with all kinds of foods and ingredients over centuries and you’re gonna sit there and tell me to avoid pasta cuz it has Carbs in it?? do you fucking know anything? about anything? that carbs are your bodies’ preferred source of energy?? that there’s no such thing as a Bad macronutrient?? that the demonization of carbohydrates is fucking ridiculous, and how insane it is that these people tell you to avoid rice and anything with dough and bread and like 90% of every cultures food on earth?? makes you think huh! fuck you diet culture fuck you diet industries fuck you fuck you fuck you. this food was not made to hurt me, it wasn’t made to hurt anyone. this is meant to be shared and enjoyed and loved. i don’t think anyone meant any harm for inventing bread and it doesn’t make you a criminal to enjoy a slice.

[dragonmasterhiccup]

Furrowing her brows, she stepped forward into the forge. "It's only been an hour. She's nearly the same as she was when you had last seen her." Freya tapped her arm, trying to compose herself. "Don't act dumb either, you actually went and got her.. all of that stuff?" She narrowed her eyes, walking closer to where he stood with her arms folded.

Not liking the distraction, Freya swiftly took the broom out of his hands, lightly glaring up at him as she spoke: "Listen here, Hiccup. I'm not letting you see my sister because you're Mr. Nice Guy. I'm gonna take you to her because she requested it." She accusingly pointed her finger at his chest while continuing, "I, for one, would have kept you far away from her like I said I would." She was close enough to see his freckles again, as well as the shades of green that his eyes held, before she stepped away and gave the broom back to him.

"You've got sawdust in your hair, by the way." She muttered, turning to Blaze once more - who was watching with perked ears. "Ayla wants to say thank you for what you did." Without looking back, Freya mounted the sand wraith, tapping behind his ear as he began to head back to her home.

Once she was at the front door, she hopped off Blaze and begrudgingly left it open for Hiccup to step through, stomping on the stairs that led to her younger sister's room. "She's probably eating all of that bread already.." Freya sighed, knocking on the door before she spoke, "Ayla! Hiccup's here--"

Unexpectedly, the door opened and the young girl quickly ran towards Hiccup, wrapping her arms around him as she smiled, ignoring her runny nose. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Her voice was muffled as she hugged him, not letting him go even as her older sister groaned out of irritation.

"You're supposed to be laying down! What're you doing!?" Freya tried grabbing her but Ayla stepped away, hiding behind Hiccup as she held onto him, a smirk tracing her lips as she silently challenged her. "Only if he gets to stay!" She retorted back, still remaining in her spot as she coughed.

Shaking her head, Freya kicked the wall and leaned her head against it once she was done. "Fine.."

"I should have seen the signs. The least I could do was get what she'd need to feel better."

He continued cleaning up, letting out a frustrated groan when she took his broom. "Hey!"

"She...she did?"

He stared into her amber eyes, feeling his face grow warm.

Taking the broom back, he stayed frozen in place, before ruffling his hair to get the sawdust out. He looked over at Gobber, who waved a hand. "Oh, just go. You're done here for the day."

------------

He followed Freya at a safe distance, thinking she might just punch him if he got too close, and made his way up the stairs to see Ayla.

The first thing he said as Ayla hugged him was, "What are you doing up? You ought to be resting!" But he hugged her back all the same.

It seems all the kindness went to Ayla in their family, he thought to himself.

As she hid behind Hiccup, he stood up straight, not wanting to get in the middle of anything.

Oh...he could stay?

He quickly turned to Ayla, "You heard her! Hurry, get back under those blankets, rest up so you can heal up!"

Hiccup stayed in place, though, waiting to see where Freya would sit before he sat down as well.

He decided to tread very carefully. She was already angry and irritated, he did not want to make it worse.

[unofficialvulturecultureproblems]

nice seeing you post again!! i have a question that’s been eating at me for a few months…. i have a somewhat vintage squirrel taxidermy hanging on a wall and every day there’s gritty dust on the cabinet underneath it. i think it’s bug residue but i have no idea what kind. the piece isn’t in terrible condition but the last thing i want is a bug infestation. is the piece salvageable at all?

Does it look like sawdust is collecting underneath the mount?

If so, you've probably got beetles (more specifically, their larvae) in your mount.

Other signs to look out for include lines or tracks in their hair from the larvae moving in a straight line, rice-krispie looking shells on or under your mount (casings), and hair slippage or even falling off in clumps.

Common pests that infest taxidermy include common clothes moths, case-bearing moths, fur beetles, varied carpet beetles, furniture beetles, and larder beetles. Finding the difference between which one you have won't matter too much though for how to treat your mount.

I've had beetles in one of my mounts before, it happens, and thankfully there's ways of dealing with it:

Put your mount in the freezer. Some say to do it overnight, some say do it for a week, others say a month. So I couldn't tell you how long you should keep your mount in a freezer, but your goal is to kill the larvae, so whatever amount of time feels right for you go for it.

You can also lightly dust your mount and the area around it with dichotomous earth. The trick is a thin layer of it, as thicker layers aren't as effective. This will dry out any critter with an exoskeleton and kill them. It can be hard to get it where it's needed for taxidermy mounts though.

Covering your mount in some borax can also kill bugs that ingest it. Be careful doing this if you have pets or kids who may be around the mount, since borax isn't good for us to ingest either and affects the kidneys.

Putting the mount in a garbage bag, spraying an insecticide inside there, and closing the bag and letting it sit for 24 hrs is another common method. Take all the necessary precautions recommended for bug sprays if you chose to do this, and make sure to air out your mount in a well ventilated area or outside if you do this.

Manually brushing out the hairs with a stiff and densely bristled brush can help remove any eggs, especially if you suspect moths to be at play. Brush with the hairs. Think of it like brushing out lice on your own hair. Cleaning the mount by using a shop vac or other high velocity dryer to blow off any dirt, dust, and possibly eggs or smaller bugs outside is also recommended.

There's also products that you can get, like Mount Saver and Mount Protector, which will target the bugs affecting your mount. Spray liberally, you can do the bag method like you would with other insecticides, and let the fumes do the work.

I hope this helps! Good luck, hopefully your mount will be bug-free in no time.