#i think i probably should feel excited but i also used to fuck on the first date and so idk what that changes

[lesbiangiratina]

I buy csp i fuck around with the model feature for about 3 hours i give up i sketch a single vaguely miserable testament bust in like 10 minutes and i close my computer

[jorvikzelda]

This may be a good and normal thing but I have absolutely zero regrets about having purchased the laptop last night. Like all day yesterday and even as I was buying I was going oh god should I should I not but now I’m not even having second thoughts about the huge display lmao

[i-luvsang]

i hate being on the verge of tears in public !!! and it’s about fucking kpop i need to get a grip!!!!!!!$;73&38&2$.!’$/$3!/‘j$€{€!{£&jhhdjdhwijwgeieiehhejeiddggdneiwiwhuwjeieuebidnejskaowhhrbdieiruruidieieiehndozi&$:$£7:)3&k$$;$&jhdhiahJh

[eversncenewyork]

went on my date last night

[spaceyaemonds]

pairing: dr. jack abbot x reader

sum.: jack’s working days, and you need a new desk for your office at home. (poor summary :()

warnings: age gap (jack is late 40s, reader is 23), unplanned pregnancy, jack is divorced, not a widower. minors DNI

notes: this part is more of a jack centered filler. chapters will start getting long with the next part. sorry if this isn’t the best, i rewrote it probably six times, but needed a bit of filler before i get more into the dramatics. in the next part, reader meets dana and robby, and she and jack have their first serious disagreement. i’m very very excited!!! unedited. any feedback is extremely appreciated, it helps keep me motivated. especially reblogs/comments/asks!

wc: 1k

prev next

Jack is working an unplanned series of rare day shifts following your first appointment. As a result, he spends more evenings with you in your apartment than alone in his own.

He never stays the night, just long enough to watch you start to doze off before doing your dishes and folding the blankets in your living room.

You read a lot. Most times you end up reading out loud to the baby, and by extension him, while he pretends to watch the news from the other end of your couch.

He’s unsure if he should, but he likes the way it feels. Sitting on your couch with you after eating whatever you made for dinner.

He hasn’t told anyone at work. It’s really not their business and they don’t need to know. But the picture from the ultrasound is burning a hole in his wallet.

And he’s pretty sure Robby’s caught on to the fact that his mind has been preoccupied.

Not that he lets anything distract him from work, but he checks his phone a dozen times an hour when it used to not even go on the floor with him, and he also makes a point to call you when he knows you’re at lunch to check how you’re doing.

You aren’t together. And he knows that. But there was some sort of shift in your relationship after your first appointment a little over two weeks ago.

He can see Robby hovering out of the corner of his eye as he types up his patient’s information, “Do you plan on actually saying something or are we just going to sit here with you awkwardly trying to work up the courage to say something?”

Robby sighs, “You’ve been acting, different, lately,”

Jack stops typing, “Is that a statement or a question?”

Robby moves a little closer, “I just mean, despite being temporarily moved to days, you don’t randomly show up on night shift to check in. You’ve also been checking your phone, a lot. I just want to make sure everything is okay,”

Jack looks at Robby for a long minute before sighing and pulling out his wallet. He doesn’t have to look very hard for the picture before handing it over to Robby.

Robby looks at it for a second before looking back at Jack, then back at the black and white photo.

“What is this?” Jack huffs out a laugh.

“As a medical professional, I find it extremely concerning that you’re asking me that,”

Robby gives him a glare as he hands it back over to him, “Fuck off,”

Jack holds his hands up in a mock surrender as he puts the picture back in his wallet, “It’s complicated,”

“Complicated,” Robby echoes, “Brother I hate to tell you this but that looks a little more than complicated,”

Despite their claims of not being best friends, they know each other, and their baggage, on a deeper level than most people.

“Yeah, well, we’re working it out,” A ghost of a smile appears on Jack’s face when he thinks of you and the baby.

“Who’s the other half of this ‘we’?” Robby looks genuinely curious, “I didn’t even know you were seeing someone,”

That question has Jack stopping in his tracks. That’s part of the complicated.

Not that he’s embarrassed, he doesn’t think you or your situation could ever embarrass him.

But he knows how it looks, with his rapidly approaching his foryt-seventh birthday and the fact that you just turned twenty-three not even five months ago.

“Well, I’m not. Not really?” It comes out more of a question. The tone of Jack’s voice makes Robby look at him, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

“What? You mean to tell me you have a single one night stand in, what, probably six years, and you managed to get some poor girl pregnant?”

The laugh that leaves Robby at the end of his question makes Jack wince, the double meaning of his words lost on him.

“Yeah well that’s just half of it,”

Before either of them can say something else, Jack’s phone rings, he doesn’t even look at it before answering as he walks away from Robby.

“Hey, you okay? Normally I’m the one calling you,”

“Yeah, I just wanted to let you know they finally approved for me to start working from home full time starting on the first,” Your voice shows your excitement.

You had mentioned two nights ago that you’d been looking for an excuse to work from home since you started your job, and you felt like the baby would be a good enough reason for your boss to agree.

Apparently she did.

“Well that’s just great, honey,” He fights off a smile, you’re buzzing with excitement.

“I do have a question, though,” You’re still excited, but he can tell you’re a little nervous now.

“Anything.” You don’t even have to ask. Whatever you need, he’ll take care of it.

“I have to get a new desk, mine is too small for the set up they’re sending me home with. Can you help me get it put together tonight?”

“Yeah, yeah of course I can do that. Are you going to go pick one out now?”

You hum, “Yeah, I have to take these monitors home first, but then I’m going to go look for a desk,”

He paces for a brief second, stopping in front of his locker.

“Do you want to come here and switch vehicles with me? It may be easier to put the box in the truck bed than try to fit it in your car,”

He’d prefer to go with you, but he knows he can’t just leave in the middle of the day.

“Are you sure?” You sound extremely shocked he would even suggest it.

“Well, yeah. Unless you don’t want me driving your car around,” He says it like a joke, but he wonders if he should’ve thought of that before offering.

“No, no. I’d actually love to swap. That sounds like it’ll be a lot easier. I’m heading home with my equipment now, but I can be there in like thirty?”

“Sounds good, I’ll leave my keys with Dana in case I get busy. She’s the charge nurse, just ask Lupe for me or her, whoever isn’t busy,”

[webbluvrsugar]

okok, how would rafe treat virgin!reader during her first time?

-🕯️

a/n: aaaaa thank you so much for going all the way to resend your ask! I just loved this and I wanted to do it properly T-T

okay okay, I need to brainstorm about this cause HEAR ME OUT!!!

season one rafe: definitely doesn’t have as much care for you as he should, you probably met him at a party and started fooling around before you finally mention you’re a virgin — he’s startled, but doesn’t mind have virgin pussy for the night. If you really managed to catch his attention, I think he’ll prep you just to see ‘how tight you really are’ because he’s not that sure if you’re bullshitting him or not. Will definitely fuck you on a couch or a bathroom, will be a bit careless and it’ll probably hurt.

season two rafe: you met him through a friend of a friend, it’s more likely that he’ll play with you around a bit, be a bit mean and way more frat-boy likely before he finally decides to kiss you, I think he’d do it everywhere so it’s really up to you, when you confess you’re a virgin, he gets way more excited because now he’ll have something to brag about to his friends, he’ll prep you but he’ll also be rough with you even his movements are a tad bit more calculated.

season three rafe: this time, i think you guys met at a random party but he actually took interest in you, didn’t fuck you there, — he tried not to — somehow got your number and went on a few dates with you, started dating you and after just a few months he’s already started suggesting having sex and when you told him you’re a virgin, he’s way more careful this time, will take his sweet time with you and make it something special.

season four rafe: similar to season three but he’ll be a bit more bold, he’ll eat you out with more confidence and be a little more vocal, he’ll coax you and teach you, and when the pain stopped and you got used to the feeling, you’ll try a few different positions.

a/n: hope you liked it!

[azzibuckets]

letters from dallas part 1

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

a/n: in which i neglect all the other series and fics im supposed to be writing to send more angst ur way <3

lfd masterlist | main masterlist

May 1, 2025

Dear Azzi,

It fucking sucks here.

I know I’m supposed to be thankful for this opportunity. And I am, I swear. My teammates are nice. Arike’s been showing me around downtown. Nai and Lyss are funny. They’ve adopted me, called me their child. They remind me of us.

My therapist said it’s good to write down my feelings. Not sure how she’d say if it was letters, letters to you, but hey, something is better than nothing.

I saw a trailer for Frozen 3 last week and I thought of you. I hope you’re doing well. I called KK the other day. She was so excited - I felt bad. I haven’t been as good as I wanted to be with talking to our team - well, your team now - but it hurts too much knowing that they get to spend every day with you and I can’t. I asked her about you. She seemed hesitant to tell me. But I kept nagging her and she told me you’re good, spending a lot of time reading and stuff. Said they finally got you off Colleen Hoover. She wants me to move on, I can tell. It’s killing both of us, how I can’t let you go. But I guess writing these letters and stuffing them in my closet are how I’m trying to get my closure and deal with my feelings, so maybe this will help.

You’re on my fucking mind all the time, and I wish you weren’t. I miss you so bad sometimes it hurts to exist. If you saw the amount of melatonin I take every every night just to avoid you in my dreams, you’d probably yell at me.

Love,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June 7, 2025

Dear Azzi,

Have I mentioned that Drew hasn’t been talking to me? He blames me for our breakup, and he misses you like hell. I do too.

I played like shit in the game yesterday. I can’t believe we lost to the Sparks. It was nice seeing Cam again though. I don’t know if you remember, but it’s our anniversary. I saw that you were at the soccer game with the girls. You looked really good, really happy. I guess it doesn’t affect you like it affects me. And I know that should make me like, mad, or jealous. But I’m glad at least one of us is healing?

Honestly? it sucks having to see your face all over social media. It sucks even more whenever I go on my Instagram page and you’re all over it too. I could be salty and delete all of it, but that would start too much drama. Besides, that would mean deleting like half my posts

I wonder how Jose and Jon are doing. Jon unfollowed me the other day. That one hurt pretty bad. I miss my little brothers, and I miss your parents.

Love,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

August 28, 2025

Dear Azzi,

Yesterday was a fucking shit show. Honestly, I didn’t expect you to even show up when I heard you guys were coming. It was weird, seeing you in the audience. It was everything I’d always imagined, you coming to my games, but it also made me feel sick, knowing this is what could’ve been. What should’ve been. I was nervous the last quarter thinking about what to say to you after the game, but god, Azzi, you couldn’t even look at me. I tried to talk to you after the group pic but you disappeared.

Maybe it’s a good time to tell you that Katie and Tim were at my game last week, against the Mystics. I’m gonna be honest, when I saw they were there, I avoided them, and I’m not proud of it. I ran to my car straight after the presser but somehow they found where I parked and were waiting next to it?? If this was a different circumstance I would’ve laughed.

All they told me was great game before I started crying. I don’t even know what came over me. But your mom hugged me and that made me cry even harder. They told me I was their daughter no matter what, and they loved me. I wrote it down as soon as I left because I didn’t ever wanna forget.

Azzi, we didn’t even marry each other like we promised, and I still feel like we left a broken family. I didn’t mean for this many people to get hurt, for this many relationships to shatter because ours did.

It makes forgetting you so much harder, and that’s what pisses me off. That I’ve injured my knee and gone through months of rehab and moved across the country to a brand new city, yet this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

From,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 2nd, 2025

Dear Azzi,

I was calling KK again and I didn’t ask about you this time. I think I’m making some progress.

Arike keeps trying to get me with some of her friends, but it still doesn’t feel right. I think I need a little bit more time.

From,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 20, 2025

Dear Azzi,

I turn 24 today. Damn I feel old. I’ve spent a third of my life now loving you.

From,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 22nd, 2025

Dear Azzi,

I just got your present in the mail. You didn’t have to. I love it. Thank you.

- Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

November 11, 2025

Happy birthday big head. I think you probably received my gift by now. I debated on writing a card, but you didn’t write me one, and I’ve decided to leave the cards (haha) in your hand. So I’m just following your lead. I hope you enjoy 23.

- Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 7, 2025

Azzi,

Hell of a game yesterday. Proud of you. National player of the year performance

- P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 5, 2026

Az,

LET’S FUCKING GOOOO. Shit, man. Two peat natty champs??? Unbelievable. My hands are tweaking out, I can’t even read my own handwriting. I knew you could do it, Az. Thank you for not forcing me to wear irish merch..I never look good in green like you do

- P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 13, 2026

Azzi,

Drafted to the Sky????

See you so fucking soon

Nice fit at the draft btw

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May 16, 2026

Dear Azzi,

Fuck, the way you smiled at me after that game. Maybe I’ll have the courage to finally text you. I know it’s probably not the best idea but…I still regret everything. It’s been a little bit more than a year and it still hurts as bad as it did the first day. Is this normal?

Love,

Paige

[lildiva00]

pt. 2 of Virgin Choso!! if you havent read the first part read it here and part 3

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Virgin Choso who looks at your abandoned bag in the corner of his small living room. Standing in the little apartment he moved into recently, chewing on his lip anxiously. Should he text you? you’d realize it was gone eventually, and when you give him a call to tell him, he could pretend he hadn’t seen it. It’s not because he doesn’t want to talk to you, the opposite really, but hes scared. He’d probably be weird and act awkward if you two were ever alone, if you came to retrieve your bag from his home.

You and Yuji had been at his apartment earlier that day to help him move his furniture around. He’d heard the doorbell ring and when you had finally ascended to the top floor were he resided, Yuji had given him a brotherly hug, patting his back. And you,

You.

it’s the second time he sees you after he realised what he felt for you, and it’s getting increasingly hard to be around you. Especially when you keep putting on those adorable little outfits. He can’t focus, he can hardly breathe. Yuji, that idiot, knows that fact better than even Choso himself, seeing right through his brother. Which is why the boy had invited you today to help him. To torture Choso, to make him crack.

But Choso wasn’t weak. He could hold his composure. Even when Yuji walks past him and whispers, trying to hold his laugh, “maybe cut back on the staring a little today, she might actually notice this time,”

And now he’s here, all his furniture in the right places, but your bag in the wrong. You’d went to the gym he remembers, which is why you had it with you.

When his phone rings a minute later, his heart starts beating faster, already? he calms down a little when he sees it’s Yuji who’s calling, but his ease is cut short when he answers.

“hello?”

“hi Choso, it’s me,” its you. He can hear people talking and laughing in the background, probably you and Yuji’s new friends from your Jujutsu College. “my phone went out so i borrowed Yuji’s to call you,” you say sweetly, and before you can continue, a voice way louder than yours comes through the line, “she forgot her bag on purpose!!” Yuji shouts from next to you, before someone in the group can shut him up,

“not true…” you say awkwardly and laugh “but uh, is it okay if i come and get it tomorrow after my shift? it’s gonna be a little late though, sorry for the trouble,” he can feel that tugging in his heart, he’s excited to see you again, even if it’s only because of your forgetfulness. “it uh…it is no trouble,” he says quickly,

“thank you Choso…ill see you tomorrow,” and with that you hang up, and Choso is left with the silence of his apartment and the bustle outside of tokyo city.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

He’s sitting on the couch with your bag propped up next to him, did you really leave your bag here on purpose? why would you have done that? did you want to see him too? he sighs, wishful thinking.

He stands up from the couch and the movement makes your unzipped bag fall to the floor with a thud.

He looks to the floor, bends down to put the bag back when-

oh. fuck.

Laying on the ground is your used gym clothes, a big hoodie, some shorts, a top and also…

a pair of your used panties.

he freezes, his dick jumping at the sight alone. Theyre baby blue, with a little white bow on the waistband. fuck. no. don’t.

he picks them up.

He’s only just learned about sex, about relationships and about…pleasuring himself. And he’s already a massive pervert.

what would you think of him if you knew? if you could see him right now? desperately jerking himself off on the couch, whines and groans spilling from his lips, drool sliding down his mouth. your perfect little panties wrapped around his hard cock.

He watches as his pre cum makes a mess in them. he wants to make a mess with you. He wants to see you wearing nothing else than those same panties around him,

he takes them away from his dick and brings them to his nose. And when he breathes in the scent of your pussy, He cums so hard his mind turns blank.

And it hits him when he comes down, that hes disgusting. And your panties are ruined.

how can you make him feel like this. Without any cursed energy. without beating him into the ground. youre just existing, And that fact alone makes him feel so…weak? why does he feel weak?

He decides then that he needs to tell you, Its been building up in his chest for months. He needs to tell you that hes in love with you and that he would do anything for you.

he needs to tell you he wants to bury his face in your little cunt.

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

thx to everyone whos been leaving notes<33 part 3 coming!!

[nerdy-novelist017]

i'm so in love with your little bunny series and i'm so glad you're writing for benny! i was wondering if you could write something about reader being a yapper, always talking a lot about things with so much excite and benny finds this the most cutest thing ever, but one day someone says that she's annoying for that, which makes her feel very self conscious and she starts to think that benny might feel the same since he's a very much quiter person, and benny assures her that is not the case? just fluffy and comfort to warm my heart <3 thank you already!

Anon, this is literally the cutest request ever omg!!! Thank you for the request, I had so much fun writing this! I paired this as another one shot for my Benny x Bunny series, hope you enjoy!

Word Count- 2k+

Summary- See request above.

Sweet Talking (Benny Cross x Shy!Reader)

You pressed a kiss to Benny’s cheek, whispering to him that you’d be right back as you stood and made your way around the bonfire. You pulled Benny’s jacket tighter around you to fend off the chilly evening air on your trek back to the house. The night was still young, the sun having just set an hour ago and these bikers would be up until the sunrise, all having caught their second wind from the race held earlier in the fields. The loudness of the bikes and the sheer excitement from the crowds was something you were still trying to get used to, but you found that you actually liked talking to these people. Once they included you in their conversations and picked topics that you could relate to as well, you found yourself talking a lot more than you ever have in your life. They laughed at your jokes, they called out to you when they saw you approaching, they really seemed to just adopt you into their club. You supposed, in the beginning, a majority of that was from Benny probably intimidating some members into being nice to you, but regardless of that, they still seemed to enjoy your company and your silly stories and random facts – especially the women of this club. 

Stepping through the back door, you were immediately greeted by the scent of cigarette smoke and booze, things you were also still trying to get used to. Several members were lounging on the couch, smoking and talking as you passed them on your way to the kitchen. You went to the fridge, opening it and lowering yourself to search for a cold pop for yourself. Voices filtered into your vicinity from the adjacent dining room. Just as you grab another beer for Benny, your ears perked up when you heard your name being said in passing and you froze behind the refrigerator door. 

“–She does have a sweet piece of ass on her though,” a male voice, sounding muffled most likely by a cigarette hanging from his lips. You smiled to yourself, biting your lip. You probably shouldn’t be listening to this, but curiosity rooted you to your spot as you tried peeking over the door to catch a look at who was speaking. 

“Jesus Christ, you can’t get her to shut up anymore.” another voice replied, much deeper and raspier than the first. “I miss when she would just stand there shaking like a leaf, all nervous and quiet.”

“Would it even be worth it to hit that? C’mon man, she’d gab your fucking ear off during it, totally kill the mood for me.”

Your smile slowly at their words, heart sinking. You should get up and leave, you told yourself. But you couldn’t force your legs to move.

“I’d put that mouth of hers to work on something else,” the first man said, chuckling darkly. You squeezed your eyes shut at the insinuation. 

“Don’t know how Benny–boy puts up with it. I’d have to gag her just to hear myself think–”

You stand abruptly, unable to listen to anymore of their hurtful words. Using a bit more force than you intended, you slammed the fridge door shut, the glass bottles rattling harshly inside from the force. Tears stung your eyes as you rushed back through the living room to the backdoor. You paused once you rounded the side of the house, sniffing in order to keep the tears at bay. They were just drunk assholes, you tried to tell yourself. Who cares what they think of you? 

But a few traitor tears escaped your lashes at the thought of Benny finding you annoying too. Benny– that quiet, easy-spoken man who you loved with everything in you. That quiet man who maybe didn’t like how you squealed with excitement when you saw someone you knew from across the room. That quiet man who maybe didn’t like when you giggled loudly at jokes told around the bonfire. That quiet man who was your exact opposite.

******

Benny could tell there was something wrong the second you came into view again, your figure illuminated by the orange flames of the bonfire as you moved to sit back down by him. Your hands were shoved in the pockets of his jacket, head tucked low. And beside him? It was rare that you didn’t sit on his lap anymore. 

You handed him a beer and he tried to catch your eyes because was that tears he saw coating your lashes? But you avoided his gaze, instead curling into his side and that’s how you stayed for the rest of the night, quiet as a mouse, until you eventually tugged on his sleeve and asked if you could go home. The ride home was also weird. You didn’t tap his shoulder and point to things that interested you like you normally did on the back of his bike. You stayed glued to his back, silent. 

Benny watched, brow furrowed, as you went about your nighttime routine in silence, the house you shared no longer filled with your usual chatter. He sat on the edge of the bed, wracking his brain with the possibilities of you being upset with him. (The silent treatment was often a go-to method of torture you used when Benny pissed you off) but he was at a loss. Something had to have happened when you left the bonfire. Anxiety spiked through him at the thought that maybe someone had done something to you, but no, you would have told him. He made you promise to always talk to him if someone at the club was bothering you. 

You changed into your nightgown and Benny’s heart squeezed at the sight of you avoiding his gaze once again as you turned and began brushing out your pin curls in the mirror. 

“Did you have a good time tonight?” he asked, unable to bare another second of your silence. 

“Mh-hm.” Came your short reply.

Benny swallowed. You were definitely upset. “You seem . . . quiet.”

That was definitely the wrong thing to say because you’re shoulders stiffened for a moment and he thought you might turn around and throw your brush at him. But instead, you responded in a small voice, “Just tired.”

He frowned. He’d seen you when you were tired, this was something else. He tried a different tactic. “Tell me about your day, Bunny.” 

You shrugged. “Not much happened.”

“Well, tell me about it. I wanna hear it.” He tried to catch your eyes as you put the brush down and stepped away from the vanity.

“Well, maybe I don’t wanna talk about it? I just want to go to bed, Benny.” you tried to move past him to go to your side of the bed but Benny reached out gently tugged on the hem of your nightgown, stopping you.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, looking up at you. 

You nodded, but still refused to make eye-contact.

“What’s wrong?” he questioned. “Did someone do something to you tonight?”

You shook your head quickly and relief swept through him. “No, no. Nothing like that.”

His hands slid up to your hips and he pulled you closer to him. “Talk to me, Bunny. Please. I don’t understand what’s wrong.”

You swallowed, chin wobbling slightly. “Nothing happened . . . I just–I overheard some guys talkin’ is all.”

He remained silent and you continued hesitantly. “When I went to get a drink . . . they didn’t know I was there. And–and I should have left as soon as I heard them talking but . . .”

“What were they saying?”

You clenched your jaw and gave him a distressed look. 

He squeezed your hips encouragingly. “What were they saying?”

“It doesn’t matter–”

“It does to me,” he was quick to say. 

“They . . . they were talkin’ about how I talk . . . a lot. They said it was annoying. They were saying crude things about using my mouth for . . . other things.” you said slowly, voice wavering and you looked down in embarrassment.

Benny nodded and breathed out of his nose, counting to ten in his head to cool his suddenly white hot anger which bloomed in his chest. He had worked so hard to get you to feel comfortable around the club, to get you to come out of your shell and now someone had something to say about his girl—his sweet shy girl—talking? “Who was it?”

“Oh, Benny–” You pulled back from him. “Don’t go saying anything to them!”

“Why not?” He planned to do much more than talk to them.

“Because!” you cried, your voice going an octave higher. “That would make it worse! Besides, they’re–they’re right anyway.”

“Right about what?” he asked, bewildered at how they could possibly know you like he did.

“Well, I do talk a lot. A–and I know it can be annoying for someone who’s a lot more quiet.” 

“Annoying?” He laughed at the inaccuracy of that statement and you must have thought he was laughing at you because you took a big step back from him, out of his reach.

“I just don’t want to embarrass you,” you murmured, looking down at the carpet below you. 

Benny’s stomach fluttered apprehensively. There had been only a few times in his life where he wished he was better at talking, at communicating his feelings. He wanted to console you, to reassure you, that you could never be annoying or embarrassing to him. He wanted to tell you just how much you gave him purpose and helped him in his life. How you were his life. This was one of those times. 

He rose from the bed and approached you passively, trying to gather his thoughts. “I like when you talk. When we spend the day apart, I look forward to hearing about your day and what you did and what you saw while I was gone. And when we’re riding and you point to the little things like the flowers on the sidewalk or the sunsets, I like that. I really like that. And when you tell stories, you get so immersed and you start talking with your hands, I like that too. You’re so friendly to everyone, no matter what they look like or how well you know them and that’s one of my favorite things about you. You talkin’ could never embarrass me, Bunny, because it’s one of the reasons I love you.”

Tears welled up in your doe-eyes and he swallowed nervously. “Why are you crying?”

Suddenly, you were pressed so tightly to his chest, face burying into his shirt, hands holding onto him with such grip that Benny stumbled. He recovered quickly, wrapping his arms around your small frame.

“Oh, Benny,” you choked up. “You’re so sweet!” 

He wasn’t so sure about that, maybe only when it came to you. He sure as hell wasn’t going to be so sweet to those guys that spoke about you like that. He’d take a trip tomorrow to visit them personally, but for tonight, he belonged to you. He’d discovered that about himself from your relationship, from you. Even though he wanted to do things right when he wanted to, he couldn’t always. That’s what love was, putting others’ needs before your own. And tonight, you needed him, so he would be here.

His hands found your jaw and he tilted your head back to press a kiss to your forehead. “Will you come lay with me and tell me about your day?”

You nod, sniffing and Benny nearly melted at the smile you gave him. That was the smile he’d come to recognize as the one you had reserved for only him. Soft, sweet and totally perfect in every way. He pulled you gently back to bed and relished as you curled up against him. His heart was filled with warmth as he listened to you chatter on about your day and your friends and your thoughts, anything that came to mind. He’d ask questions every once in a while to keep you going, but he mostly stayed quiet, because to him, you were so captivating and cute. You both talked throughout the night, you slowly getting lower and lower into his side until finally falling asleep, your conversation temporarily paused until the morning.

-Tag List-

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[quarterlifekitty]

reader who doesn’t mind when the tf141 boys don’t shower cause they like the stink.

I’m sorry I’ll shut up now

Please never shut up. Say whatever you want forever.

cw: scent kink. Unsanitary. So nasty

I think Gaz has the highest standard of personal hygiene on the team (his beautiful skin doesn’t come for free), and his usual instinct is to shower. He’s the kind of person who can’t relax feeling gross. So while he loves you, man is probably gonna keep showering all the time. He does think it’s really funny when you ask if he’s showered yet and whine when he says yes.

Soap is one of those people who’s like “fuck the shower” every time he’s not in the shower but once he gets into the shower he’s like “fuck being out of the shower”. Anyways I personally believe he also has a major scent kink and he’s almost too comfortable being unwashed and sweaty, and he totally embraces you liking it. Always asking you if you wanna get a good whiff in before he showers after a workout. As long as you return the offer…

Ghost is one of those people who doesn’t shower sometimes just due to apathy, sometimes self-loathing, so he has a complicated relationship with your love of his stink. Honestly, you leaning into his side and just burying your nose in his skin like an addict is like his alarm of “I’ve taken this too far, I should probably shower”. World’s weirdest grounding technique.

Price is using that against you. You’ve given him a bargaining chip. So yeah, he’ll hold off on a shower, but you have to do something he likes in exchange…. Maybe you’ve gotta let him eat your ass (which you’re not usually a fan of) or let him have you collared in public (embarrassing).

König thinks it’s cute that you like his man smell. Honestly, any kind of fetish you have for something of his is cute to him. He just loves that there are things about him that you’re obsessed with, no matter how weird they are. God knows he’s obsessed with so many parts of you in a fetishistic way. Man is totally excited to come home unshowered, because he likes you clingy.

Nikolai views it as another avenue of devotion, of dependency. And like everything, he uses it to dominate you. It’s something that can be given in reward or withheld in punishment. He’ll call for you after he’s done a lot of work in the hanger or garage, anywhere that he’s currently practicing mechanics, and have you sit on his lap on the couch, face buried in his neck or his armpit while you give him a pussyjob. Lets you lick the sweat from his balls before he puts his cock down your throat. Who said that.

[solifloris]

Thinking about messing with the boys. About how when we say we want to give them a blowjob, and they're excitedly anticipating it, cocks eager and hard and just twitching for us, we do stupid shit like literally blow air on their cockhead or into their bellybutton. But we make up for it well after they give us the silliest pouts/sulky faces at our antics 👀 (nonnie here is 31yo I promise 😭)

── no omg anonie... i GET YOU ??? SO FUCKING MUCH ??? this triggered a brainrot in me because messing around with them would be SO FUN... what with all the teasing they do to us, they should get their own kind of payback! 😤

caleb would have likely been surprised you'd mention it at all. he's more of a giver, than anything else—but the mere thought of having you suck him off would appeal to him the moment you suggested it. it's only unfortunate that you're a tease about it, but he probably expected it, anyway—you always teased each other, after all, whether out of bed or not. of course, not that expecting it could stop the impatient curses from falling from his lips, a telltale sign of how affected he was by it. maybe, if you teased him a little too much, he'd probably snap—fuck your mouth like he intends to, and perhaps, teach you a lesson for making him wait. but, whatever the case... he will use your pretty mouth to get off. i mean, you offered, right? it would be rude if he didn't make the most of it! "haah, you're a tease, pipsqueak. should'a just��fuck—taken it in when i told you to—"

rafayel? he would be so FLUSTERED but also so. fucking. pissed. you wouldn't hear the end of it! he'd be sulking, alright—complaining to no end, straight up accusatory in his tone the more you tease him... except, unfortunately for him, it would only make you tease him more. more than whatever silly antics you'd started with, you'd have a mission make him so sensitive under the slightest of your touches, and he'd be shuddering. it wouldn't take long after that for him to begrudgingly start begging you, and then, god, the moan he'd let out when you finally take him in would be so heavenly. he'd immediately lose all restraint and start rutting into your mouth, moaning your name, singing praises lf how good it feels and how well you take him... "f-fuck, princess—plea—please, 's so good—"

xavier would be a mess. it wouldn't even be the teasing, he'd get hard the minute you suggest giving him a blowjob at all. it's almost like he's waited for the moment you'd offer one, and you could almost giggle at the way he would draw in a breath, eyes wide and attentive when you slowly pull down his pants. his cock would already be leaking when you take it out—so responsive. he would twitch at every little touch, letting out soft, quiet whimpers when you'd tease him, only looking at you pleadingly... but he wouldn't complain, and he'd be patient, and then you'd reward him for it. his head would be thrown back with a shaky gasp when you finally wrap your lips around him, his fingers threading through your locks to guide you into a comfortable pace. the tips of his ears would be red, his eyes shut, mouth falling open in breathless pants—and boy, it'd be a sight. it'd be an experience—for you, just as much as it would be for him. "a-ah... just like that, angel... s-so good... so good for me..."

zayne, in the first place, always enjoyed watching you take him, and you knew that offering to suck him off would excite him. but how you got the courage to dare tease him at a was beyond the both of you. his gaze would remain steely into your own, eyebrows quirked up in a silent dare... it would be inevitable to have this courage of yours falter, and you'd allow him to massage his fingers into your scalp, guiding you into the rhythm that he wanted. low grunts would fall from his lips, and even if this had started with you offering to make him cum, you'd find yourself completely at his mercy. his words and his hands would coax you to take him all the way into your mouth, soothing you through the rocking of his hips and the feeling of having him press deep into your throat. "mmm. that's a good girl, sweetheart. so nice and deep, just the way i like it."

⁺₊ / an: AUGH... thoughts of giving them head... suddenly i want it so BADLY

© rose-tinted-kalopsia. all rights reserved. do not: steal, copy, repost, reupload, modify, or claim any of my works as your own, regardless of credit given. absolutely do not use my works for AI training and other related purposes.

[eternalxvenus]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ broken promises pt. 1 ࿐ྂ

summary: Rafe promised to take you out and spend your birthday with you, but you don’t hear from him all day and then suddenly he shows up at your door trying to explain. (angst version to my first birthday girl blurb) (title changed for series — previous title “birthday girl angst version”)

cw (for whole series): 18+, rafe x f!reader, mentions of drug use, angst, eventual smut, violence

wc: 0.6k

notes: honestly i’m thinking about making this particular blurb a series but i’m not sure though

You woke up on your birthday excited to get your day started. Your boyfriend Rafe told you the day before he would pick you up for brunch, and then you would spend the day doing whatever you wanted.

By the time you showered and were ready to go, your stomach was growling, prepared to have some delicious food. You checked your phone and saw the time read 10:45. Rafe said that he'd be here by 11:00.

30 minutes later, you hadn't heard anything from Rafe, so you decided to call him. Each of your calls went straight to voicemail. You were starting to get worried, so you decided to check social media and see if he may have posted anything. You clicked on Kelce's close friend's story and saw a party happening at his house. A few videos later, you saw one of Rafe doing coke off the table in front of him.

Your eyes start to water. He had promised you that he would stop doing drugs when you guys started dating. You knew it made him irritable and hard to be around. It also made him forgetful, which means he was probably high out of his mind somewhere and probably doesn't remember he promised to take you to brunch. Or the fact that it's your birthday.

You wipe the few stray tears off your cheek, careful not to ruin your makeup, before calling Sarah, inviting her and the pogues to have breakfast with you at your place. When you asked her about Rafe, she said she hadn't spoken to him and didn't know where he was.

-

The time was currently 10:22 pm, and you had just gotten home from your birthday dinner with your family. Rafe was supposed to be there too, but you had to lie and say he hadn't been feeling well. You could barely enjoy yourself. You still hadn't gotten so much as a text from him.

You slipped off your heels, but before you could make it up the stairs there was a ring at your doorbell. You opened the door to see Rafe standing there with flowers in hand.

"What do you want, Rafe?" You really didn't want to sit around and listen to his excuses.

"Baby, I'm sorry, really. Just please let me explain."

You scoffed but leaned against your doorframe, prompting him to keep going.

"Okay, so Kelce was throwing this party, and I wasn't going to go, but everyone kept messaging me saying I should at least swing by and everything since they hadn't seen me in a while. I went and it was supposed to be no more than 15 minutes, but things got out of hand..."

"Yeah Rafe, things got out of hand as in you stayed at the party and started doing fucking coke? Out of hand as in you got so high you didn't text me all day, on my birthday, while I'm worried sick about you?"

Rafe's eyes widened, obviously not expecting you to know about that. He outstretched his hand that was holding the flowers to you. "Baby I... I'm sorry. I can take you shopping to make up for-"

You smacked the flowers out of his hand and he flinched. Your voice was shaky as tears pooled in your eyes. "No Rafe! Money isn't going to fix this. Obviously, I'm not important enough for you to keep your promise. Getting high means more to you than being there for your girlfriend."

Before he could speak again, you slammed the door in his face and made your way upstairs even as he started to talk to you through the door before moving on to blowing up your phone. You blocked his number and went to bed, unsure of what was next for your relationship.

part 2

likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

© All Rights Reserved. Do not repost, modify, or claim as yours.

[heyhihellosworld]

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬

Carlos Sainz x reader

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Smut, feeling guilty about sexual thoughts, age gap, I think that's it?

Notes: Heyyy, Carlos??? Hope I read this request right! Probably changed it a bit. This is more from Carlos perspective than anything else

Request Don't know if you are taking any requests or not, but how's best friend brother's with Carlos Sainz when suddenly having ons with the reader and Carlos been wondering how having her in his bed

Pt 2 here

Carlos breathed in the familiar hot air as he stepped out of his car and onto the gravel of his family home. He had finally touched down on home ground and planned to spend the majority of his summer break here.

He smiled to himself as he watched the big house and the green grass. He loved this house, he loved their summers and he was excited to spend some down time with his family.

Ana and y/n should be there already, Blanca maybe but she could also arrive later. His parents weren't home, he knew that already but they would come in an hour or so.

Someone was home at least judging by the open porch door and small talk coming from the other side of the deck.

Carlos walked over the grass, trying to see who was there but he opted to take in his bags first. He had just stepped into the big hallway when he saw a figure from the big window. Ana was there and.. who was that? All he could see was a beautiful woman, hair moving in the wind and a beautiful figure on the deck. Carlos swallowed before moving away, it was rude to stare.

Who was that? Was that.. no it couldn't be Y/n, could it? But who else would be here to stay for the summer. It was always Y/n.

Carlos' mind ran on high speed as he tried to process who else it could be because this was certainly not the Y/n he remembered. No, last summer you had been this, very cute sure, but nerdy little girl who had barely graduated school and was now working at the downtown café whilst studying in university.

You had always been sweet and cute but he had never ever seen you as attractive. No this, this was surely someone else. Maybe one of Blankas work-friends. It could not be you.

Carlos forced the thoughts away as he marveled into the house, his house. It was hot, summer and he was settling for some downtime before the next part of the season began, that was the focus he reminded himself of.

He opted to start on food, eyes flickering back to the garden to try and get a look at whoever it was out there but they had disappeared from the kitchen view. Maybe that was for the better actually.

"Carlos!"Carlos flinched at the sound of his name, too deep in thoughts to realize someone had entered the open kitchen from the patio-doors in the living room.

He turned around with a wide smile as he recognized your voice opening his arms to hug you which you welcomed with a giggle.

His face fell however when he looked at you after you had stepped away. What the fuck had happened over winter?

The before young, teenage-looking girl had really grown into a young looking sure, but gorgeous woman. Face more mature-looking, smile as captivating as always and your body. Carlos had to force himself to look at your face as you were dressed down in only a small skirt and a bikini-top from having been sunbathing and swimming all morning.

Fuck it was you, how?

He quickly averted his eyes from your body to look at your face

"Hola Y/n" he smiled warmly as you hugged him in greeting. "We thought you came but we didn't see you" you smiled as you watched the counter top that was filled with ingredients. "Sorry, I planned on going out but..."

That Ana came out was perfect timing because Carlos had no idea how to finish that sentence. "Carlos! Why didn't you come out to greet us?!" she scolded as she wrapped her brother into a warm hug, Carlos stuttered, what he wanted to say, or the reason for it was not something he wanted to say at all so instead he shrugged. "I was about too" he said instead , ignoring the look Ana gave him and the food on the counter.

Ana dropped it quickly, the excitement of seeing her brother taking over the weird behavior and she soon proceeded to ask him a million questions but it was all like usual with the Sainz siblings.

You were happy, content in stretching out on the sofa and listening to their chat during the evening and when the night came you gladly welcomed the soft bed in the Sainz's guest room.

-

Carlos wanted to hit the person of his family that had suggested a boat day. He loved being on the boat and he loved being with his family and the boat was a tradition in your summers. You used to take the boat out to a small little island only an hour away and spend the day swimming, laughing and grilling before going back home in the evening when the light had already gone away and the city lights illuminated in the water.

However the only thing he could concentrate on all day was you in your tiny little bikini that barely left anything to the imagination. If he was realistic it was a normal bikini, but it was still tiny and he could barely keep his eyes off of you.

When you had been exiting from the water with your hair drenched and dripping with a huge smile on your face he had stared so long that Blanca had hit him in the back of the head with a scolding look and Carlos had coughed, looking away feeling guilty.

It was a nice day, the sun grilling your skin and everyone was happy that summer had finally arrived. Carlos' parents grilled over the open fireplace as everyone settled down, chatting lowly and laughing.

He enjoyed it, laughing and joking with you and his sisters, chatting with his parents. Swimming in the hot sun. It was a great day but when the time came and you decked the boat and walked up to the villa Carlos felt like he would snap off the tension in his body.

-

He still couldn't really grasp it, couldn't grasp how attracted he suddenly was to you.

He groaned as he collapsed down on his bed, his head in an awkward position against the headboard. He let out an annoyed groan and flopped down in an ungraceful movement.

He felt annoyed, tight like a string as he tried to sit more comfortably. He was hard in his sweatpants and that annoyed him more than anything else. He felt ridiculous, like a teenage boy watching a pornmagazine for the first time. All this for only a little bikini, it was ridiculous but he couldn't help it, couldn't make it go away.

He closed his eyes, groaning when the only thing he saw in his head was just in that stupid little bikini. He couldn't help it when his hand crept down his body, his mind telling him it was wrong but the satisfaction he felt when he finally wrapped his hand around his cock pushed away all those thoughts until the only thing he could think about was dirty dreams.

At first the pictures were more okay, if there were something like this in picturing his sister's younger friend while jerking off.

It was you, in that bikini you had stropped around in all day, your smile and your elegant figure. Then it was your lips, then it morphed into your lips wrapped around his cock and from there on he was screwed.

He pictured how you would look as you sucked him off, he could picture the look in your eyes as you would’ve licked over his tip, he could almost hear the sounds you would make as he pushed your head that slight bit further.

He pictured laying you down on his crisp white sheets, pictured how he would pull your legs apart, could hear your moans in his head.

He could almost taste her on his tongue, see her face contorted in pleasure. His mind wandered further and further away from reality as his hand moved up and down his shaft. He would feel guilty, he would feel so guilty afterwards but right now, at this moment he only felt pleasure and his thoughts only added to his arousal.

It was wrong, he knew it, but he didn't feel it. It felt fucking amazing, the pictures, the imaginition he had made him harder than he'd been in a long time.

He pictured your face as he would fuck you, imagining how hot you would feel around him, how tight you would be. He pictured the sounds you would make as he made you orgasm, the picture stuck in his head as he finally released with a long groan, head falling back as the relief finally washed over him.

Only then did the realization hit and he felt disgusted over himself. The cum on his skin added to the sick feeling in his chest. It was not normal. It was disgusting. Jerking off to Ana's best friend who was many years younger than himself just because he'd find out she'd been growing curves. He felt a tight feeling in his stomach, like he would need to throw up. He hurried into the bathroom and jumped into the shower like he was on fire.

His skin was red where he had roughly scrubbed the cum of his skin and he felt slightly better when he dressed in clean clothes and shook the water off his hair. Maybe it was okay.

The guilt however came back full force once he saw you on the sofa with Blanca, gossiping and laughing. He had to look away to swallow the lump in his throat that had formed.

-

You were sprawled out in one of the outdoor chairs next to Blanca in the hot sun. You had just been taking a dip in the ocean and was now drying up on the big deck of the Sainz's house.

"Do you think Carlos has anything against me?" you asked Blanca randomly, noticing the way she jerked up in her chair to give you a wild look.

"Que?! Carlos loves you silly" she waved you off. Summer at Sainz, anything with the Sainz's had been always consisting in your life. You and Ana had met in kindergarten. She was two years older than you but somehow you had stuck together throughout school and then throughout adulthood. You had spent every summer since then here, in the amazing villa with her family. You had traveled with them, watched Carlos's races, you had been a part of them forever so maybe you understood her wild look but still. It had felt like something was bothering him these first couple of days. He had been acting slightly... stiff around you.

"I know... I don't know why but it's just.. he has been so awkward with me, barely spoken to me alone" you shrugged and Blanca hummed. "I think Carlos is having a bit of a crisis" Blanca grinned as she leant back in the soft chair

This time you sat up to give her a look. "What do you mean? Is something wrong with his racing?"

Blanca laughed and shook her head with a huge grin on her face. "No, not about racing" she calmed

"I think little Carlos is having a crisis about how gorgeous you have become" she smiled before adding "You have always been gorgeous, but over the winter..." she made a face expression as if to express the change and you giggled, it was true. You had matured in your body a lot over the winter, felt more comfortable, more secure.

"I don't think that's it though" you hummed, waving it off. Carlos was a formula one driver, he could basically chat up and model he wanted, and have the most gorgeous girls. He had many options, he would never choose you, his sister's friend.

"I think it is, I've catched him staring a bit too long and often. And every time I catch him with a slap on his head he looks extremely guilty"

You giggled at that, leaning back into the seat "I'm pretty happy with that reason to be honest" you smirked at Blanca who shook her head with a grin on her face "Watch it"

-

The next few days were fine, he still got a semi everytime you walked around in your mini bikinis and those shorts that showed all of your ass but he tried to control himself, felt he succeeded okay.

It was on the fourth day he snapped again. You had been taking a walk from the restaurant you had eaten at and stopped to buy ice cream and take a dip in the ocean.

You were yet again wearing only your bikini top and those tiny shorts that felt unnecessary to even have on because they didn't hide anything in Carlos's mind. Your hair was once again wet, dripping down your back and then it was the ice cream.

He knew it was just in his head, but it felt like you were provoking him, licking the tip of it in such a way he almost wanted to moan.

When he came back home he immediately walked up to his room and into the shower. He couldn't stop the images of going wild. Once again you were on the floor looking up at him with those big innocent eyes and licking the tip of his dick just as you had been the ice cream.

He could feel the tip of your tongue, could hear the small sound you surely would make at the taste of his precum that was pearling at his tip, he slid his thumb over it, imagining it was your tongue and he moaned loudly. He gripped his cock harder, slowly moving it down, imaging it was your mouth sinking down on him. The picture was so hot he jerked in his hold.

He sped up eventually, eyes closing to savor the filthy imaginations that were playing in his mind, like a slideshow. He could feel your touch, hear your voice and see you. It was all too much and he soon came over his hand, for the second time thinking about you.

He sighed as he let the water run down his body, cleaning him up and he let his head fall back against the tile. Maybe it was what it was. He would move on eventually, not get hard at the mere sight of you. It would be fine.

Carlos didn't fight it anymore, there was nothing he could do about his body's reaction. He sighed deeply and shrugged to himself. He lost the battle and he was really fucking attracted to you. Maybe that was just how it was now. 

[moonstruckme]

hello mae ! could i ask for an apple pie with any of the marauders with these prompts?

“a flea market wedding dress” & “hands stained with pen ink”

it would also be alright if it’s just the first one if ever you don’t feel like writing with two of them in mind !

- 🧸 (i always forget to sign off with this 😭)

Thank you for requesting <3

cw: some non-sexual nudity (it's hardly mentioned only really implied)

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 749 words

“Do we need eggs?” Remus asks from the other room. 

��I don’t think so.” You zip the dress up in the back, relishing in the smooth feel of the fabric on your skin. It fits like it was made for you. “I’m not feeling very eggy lately. Our last ones went bad.” You smile at yourself in the mirror, going to show Remus.

“It just feels strange not to have eggs…” he trails off as you come into view. It’s not your appearance that surprises him—you’ve been showing off your finds from the flea market since you got home—but the dress itself. “That’s pretty.” He sounds a tad breathless. “It’s, um. It’s white.” 

“Yeah,” you laugh, “it was someone’s wedding dress, once. Isn’t it nice?” You give him a little twirl. “I think if I take out some of the layers in the skirt it could be cute for summer. Very flowy.” 

“Very.” Remus caps the pen he was using for your grocery list, amusement coloring his tone. “You look lovely in it, dove. You know everyone will think we’re getting married when you wear it out, though, don’t you?” 

“With the way you dress?” You grin. It worsens when he stands, coming over to you with a grin of his own. “Doesn’t seem likely.” 

“My jumpers are very dapper,” he says, smiling into a kiss. 

You hum noncommittally, and he gives your middle a playful warning squeeze. A quick peck to your lips, then another, longer and sweeter. You set your hands on his chest, feeling the soft material of the jumper he’s wearing now. 

“I don’t know,” you tease, looking down at your contrasting outfits. “I think—oh, Remus!” 

You move away from him, but the damage is done. Two smudges of ink remain on your dress where his fingertips were. 

Remus is quick to follow your gaze. “Fuck.”

“It’s okay,” you say, even as your heart sinks. 

“No, dovey, I’m so sorry.” He looks like he wants to reach for you again, but he looks at his hands and swears instead. “I can—wait one second.” 

He goes back around the counter, and you hear the sink running. 

“Really,” you say, “it’s fine. It was only a few quid.” 

“No, but you were excited about it. I think I can get it out.” 

“It’s ink, Rem, it’s…” 

You trail off as he comes back around the corner, soapy dish sponge in hand, and presses it to your dress. 

“What…” You move your arm out of the way. Remus settles a hand on your hip, holding the both of you steady as he bends closer to your waist. He swipes the sponge over the fabric with a concentrated furrow between his brows. “Are…are you washing me?” 

“I’m getting the stain out.” 

“I don’t think soap is going to do it, honey.” 

The look your boyfriend casts up at you is equal parts loving and exasperated. “It usually works for me. This isn’t my first time getting ink on clothes.” 

That, you can believe. The writing in Remus’ notebooks is always smeared, the culprit to be found in his inky hands. Sometimes you swear he gets black and blue stains up to his elbows. You’ve no clue how he manages it.

“Now we only need to put baking soda on it, and it should come out.” He gives your dress one last good scrub with the sponge.

“Right,” you say hesitantly. “So should I just lie down for that, or…” 

“I probably should have had you take it off first,” Remus admits. “I panicked, a little bit.” 

You laugh. He looks relieved to hear it, some of the guilt easing from his expression. “That’s my fault, I guess.” You unzip the back of your dress, trying to step out of it without disturbing the stain. 

“No, I think it’s all still mine,” Remus says, but he takes it from you.

Once he’s done arranging it in the sink and piling it with baking soda, he comes back to you, slotting a hand behind your ear and letting his fingers slip into your hair. 

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He kisses you. 

You roll your eyes. He knows you can’t be cross at him when he does that. 

“You just didn’t want me to be better dressed than you,” you say, though there’s nothing but fondness to be found in your tone. 

“You’re always better dressed. As you’ve said, the bar isn’t high.” 

“Oh, shut up. You know I like your jumpers just fine.”

[loveesiren]

𝖢𝗋𝗈𝗌𝗌 𝖬𝗒 𝖧𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 (𝖯𝗍. 5)

Choi Seunghyun x f!reader x Kwon Jiyong | Masterlist

a/n: I told myself I'd rest tonight and not write but here we are. I also said I wouldn't ddrink but I did that too hahaha so enjoy I guess? I'll probably regret posting this in the morning. (As always, I'm using them as characters. I do not believe they are this way in real life) Watch me reread this in the morning and realize it's trash lol

summary: A vacation to Jeju island is a relieving break for most of you. Except Jiyong... (Idk why I even write summaries lol I suck at them.)

warnings: drunk editing and writing lol, language, smut, angst, Seungri is in this but he doesn't have a big part in the story, Jiyong being a dick kinda

wc: 3.2k+

A month later, life had settled into something that resembled normalcy. You and Seunghyun were still going strong, and work had never been better. Jiyong had slipped back into his usual rhythm, throwing his signature taunting jabs your way, his smirk sharp yet distant. You told yourself it was a good thing—that he was finally moving past it. That he had let you go.

And you were grateful for that.

Or at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

When you returned to the doctor, you didn’t hesitate. Birth control was non-negotiable. You refused to feel that kind of fear again—the heart-pounding, breath-stealing moment when you thought everything had changed. Still, a small, treacherous part of you had lingered on the idea of a future with Seunghyun. A family. A life. But you had locked those thoughts away, stuffing them into the back of your mind where they wouldn’t fester. Where they wouldn’t hurt.

You deserved this vacation. A chance to finally breathe, to let go. YG had planned an entire week-long getaway for BigBang and the staff to celebrate another successful year. Seven days in private villas on Jeju Island—sun, ocean, no stress. You were nothing but excited.

You had chosen to stay with Seunghyun, rather than with the girls, wanting to thank him for everything. For his patience. For his love. He had never been pushy—not after the abortion, not when you had shut yourself down for weeks, not when your smiles hadn’t quite reached your eyes. He had simply stayed, letting you come back to him in your own time.

And you had. Or at least, you were trying.

But Jiyong. Jiyong was a different story.

When you stepped onto the pristine sand, Seunghyun’s arm wrapped securely around your waist, a sharp gaze burned into your back. Jiyong’s.

“This is fucking amazing!” you cooed, eyes scanning the endless blue horizon. “What should we do first?!” The options sprawled in front of you—snorkeling, volleyball, drinks, a club, the ocean. It was overwhelming, but in the best way.

Seunghyun chuckled, nuzzling into your hair. “Let’s drop our stuff off first, then we can do whatever you want, baby.”

You turned to him, warmth bubbling in your chest at the way he carried both suitcases, your own completely forgotten. “EEEEEEP! I can’t wait to see the villa!”

Seunghyun’s laughter was soft, admiring, as he let you drag him forward.

Jiyong barely noticed the way his gaze followed you until Seungri’s palm clapped against his shoulder.

“Yeahhh, Hyung’s a lucky man,” Seungri murmured, watching the way your hips swayed, the way Seunghyun’s fingers dug possessively into your waist.

“Don’t look at her.” Jiyong’s voice was sharp, cutting him off and slamming the back of his hand into his chest.

Seungri winced, rubbing his chest where Jiyong had smacked him. But he didn’t argue, simply following his Hyung toward their shared villa.

-

You stepped onto the balcony, taking in the scenery around you. The salt in the air, the waves crashing against the sand. You were in paradise.

“What do you think, Jagi?” Seunghyun’s arms snaked around your waist, grounding you.

“This is unreal,” you admitted, melting into his embrace.

His lips pressed gently to your hair, lingering. “Can’t wait to spend this week with you.”

You turned in his arms, wrapping your hands around his neck, looking up at him—at the man who had loved you through every storm. “I love you.”

He didn’t hesitate. His lips met yours, soft at first, then deeper, desperate.

“I love you… so much…” he whispered against your mouth. His hands traced slow patterns over your hips, thumbs dipping beneath the fabric of your dress. “Y’look so pretty in the sun…”

A breath hitched in your throat. You wanted him. Needed him. But the sun was still high, and there was still dinner to attend.

Reluctantly, you pressed your palms against his chest, pushing him back just enough to break the moment. “We should get ready for dinner…”

His lips were slightly swollen, his eyes dark with something unreadable. But he nodded, taking a step back, running a hand through his hair as he composed himself.

You hesitated.

“Babe?”

He turned to you, brow lifting.

“Tonight?” you asked, voice teasing, but the invitation was clear.

Seunghyun grinned. Before you could react, he scooped you up, throwing you over his shoulder, his grip firm on your thighs.

Your giggle rang out through the villa, light and free.

For the first time in months, you almost believed it.

Almost.

But outside, beyond the villa’s glass walls, standing at the shoreline with a cigarette between his lips, Jiyong watched.

And he still wasn’t moving past it.

-

The warm evening breeze carried the salty scent of the ocean as you and Seunghyun made your way down the moonlit beach. The silk of your sundress clung to your skin, shifting with every step as the fabric danced in the wind. His strong hand rested low on your hip, fingers tracing delicate circles through the thin fabric.

The sand was soft beneath your bare feet, and the rhythmic sound of the waves felt like a melody meant just for the two of you. Your long waves cascaded down your back, catching in the ocean breeze, golden strands glowing under the lantern lights that led to the dining area.

Jiyong sat in the distance, a cigarette burning slowly between his fingers, the ember flaring with every deep drag. But his focus wasn’t on the ocean, nor the stars scattered across the sky.

It was on you.

His mind betrayed him, dragging him back to the nights he had you trembling beneath him, your body arching as he tangled his fingers in your hair, pulling your head back to mark the delicate column of your throat. He could still hear your breathless moans, the soft whimpers you let out when he buried himself deep inside you, stretching you open, filling you completely.

God, he could almost feel you even now.

He bit the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood.

Because now, you weren’t his.

Now, Seunghyun was the one whispering in your ear, his lips brushing against your skin, his palm resting dangerously close to the curve of your ass. Seunghyun was the one earning that sweet little smile of yours—the one Jiyong used to chase.

He swallowed down the bitterness clawing up his throat and took his seat at the table. Directly across from you. He swallowed his pride.

Because as much as he wanted to take you right there in the sand, to remind you exactly how he used to fuck you so deep you forgot anyone else existed—he couldn't.

Because his best friend looked at you like you were his whole world.

And Jiyong couldn’t take that from him.

-

Dinner passed in a blur of laughter, drinks, and idle chatter. But Jiyong barely heard any of it. Not when Seunghyun’s hand slid higher on your thigh, his fingers disappearing beneath the fabric of your dress. Not when you leaned into his touch, the corners of your lips lifting just slightly as you nibbled your bottom lip.

Jiyong clenched his jaw, his grip tightening around his drink. He forced himself to look away, to strike up a meaningless conversation with Seungri. Anything to distract himself.

But then—

“I love you too…”

Your voice was soft, but Jiyong heard it like a fucking gunshot.

His fingers twitched, but he didn’t move. Didn’t react.

Not on the outside. Inside, though? Inside, something snapped.

-

By the time dinner was over, your need for Seunghyun had reached a fever pitch. You barely made it back to the villa before your hands were on him, your lips crashing together in a desperate, feverish kiss.

The door shut behind you with a click, but you barely noticed.

Your fingers tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his head as his hands roamed your body, cupping your ass, squeezing your thighs, gripping you like he wanted to leave bruises.

The ocean breeze rolled in through the open porch doors, cool air ghosting over your flushed skin as Seunghyun backed you toward the bed.

His mouth was hot against your throat, nipping, licking, teasing. His hands made quick work of your dress, sliding the straps down your shoulders, letting the fabric pool at your feet.

You were already soaked, aching.

“Fuck, baby…” he groaned, his fingers trailing between your legs, teasing the damp fabric of your panties. “You sure?”

You hummed, pressing a kiss against his jaw before stepping back. A playful smirk curled your lips as you pushed him onto the bed.

“Lay down,” you whispered.

His eyes darkened, his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he obeyed.

Your fingers worked quickly, unzipping his pants, yanking them down until his cock sprang free—thick, hard, already leaking precum.

You licked your lips.

“Fuck, you’re so big…” you murmured before taking him into your mouth, wrapping your lips around his swollen tip, teasing him with slow, deliberate strokes of your tongue.

Seunghyun groaned, his head falling back against the pillows, his fingers tangling into your hair as you took him deeper, hollowing your cheeks, letting him hit the back of your throat.

“Shit—baby—you—gah—” His voice was wrecked, strangled, his hips bucking ever so slightly as you swallowed around him.

His grip tightened, pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail as he watched you take him, your nails digging into his thighs, urging him to let go.

And when he did—when his hot release spilled down your throat—you moaned, swallowing every last drop before pulling back with a soft pop.

Seunghyun’s chest heaved, his pupils blown wide as he gazed down at you—on your knees, his cum dripping from the corner of your mouth.

“Fuck,” he groaned, already hard again. “Come here.”

You obeyed instantly, crawling up his body, pressing your lips to his, letting him taste himself on your tongue.

“You took your pill, right?” he murmured, his teeth tugging at your bottom lip.

“Mhmm.” You smirked, shifting so your soaked core rubbed against his cock. “I’m ready, Daddy. Fuck me…”

Seunghyun cursed, flipping you onto your back before positioning himself at your entrance. He guided you down onto him, stretching you inch by inch until you were completely full.

“Ah, fuck!” you gasped, your nails digging into his arms as your walls clenched around him.

“You okay, baby?” he rasped, voice strained, barely holding back from thrusting into you.

You nodded, adjusting, rolling your hips experimentally. The stretch burned—but god, it felt so fucking good.

“So big…” you whimpered.

Seunghyun groaned, grabbing your hips, rocking you against him, helping you move.

“How’s that feel, baby?”

All you could do was moan, barely able to form words. You were already a fucking mess.

“Fuck me, Seunghyun,” you finally panted, desperate.

That was all he needed.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you against his chest before thrusting up into you, hard and deep.

Your cries filled the villa, high-pitched and breathless, your fingers digging into his back as he fucked you relentlessly.

But what you didn’t know—

Was that Jiyong could hear you.

And see you.

From the beach, he sat in the perfect spot, half-hidden by the trees. The doors were open. The lights were on.

And there you were.

His best friend’s girl.

Getting fucked senseless.

By him.

Jiyong’s jaw tightened as he dragged a hand over his mouth. His cock throbbed against his jeans, aching.

Those pretty whimpers—he remembered them too well. The way your walls fluttered around him when he pushed you to the edge. The way you trembled when he whispered filthy things in your ear, coaxing you into another orgasm.

God, he missed it.

His fingers curled into fists, nails biting into his palm as he forced himself to look away.

But the moment he heard you cry out in pleasure, finally reaching your high.  He knew that sound all too well. His control finally snapped.

He stubbed out his cigarette, pushing to his feet.

“Seungri,” he called, walking past the bonfire where his bandmates were gathered.

“Yeah, hyung?”

“Let’s go.”

Seungri blinked. “Go where?”

Jiyong’s expression was unreadable.

“To the club,” he muttered, his voice low, dangerous.

“Hyung, are you—”

“Let’s go,” Jiyong cut in.

And just like that, he disappeared into the night, the bass of the club calling him toward anything that would make him forget, Seungri following close behind him.

“Hyung, what happened?” Seungri slung an arm around Jiyong’s shoulders, his voice teetering between genuine concern and drunken curiosity. “Was it Y/n?”

Jiyong’s jaw clenched. “Shut up, Vi.” His voice was rough, laced with something dangerously close to pain.

Seungri knew better than to push. “Okay. Let’s get some alcohol in you.”

Jiyong didn’t argue.

The club was packed, pulsating with bodies, flashing lights, and the heavy bass of music that vibrated through the floor. The second they stepped inside, they were swallowed by the attention—swarms of women pressing against them, men watching from the sidelines with envy. Jiyong smirked, letting himself get lost in it.

This was who he was. G-Dragon. The icon. The king. The untouchable.

And for a moment, the ache inside him dulled under the weight of cheap validation.

Fans bought him shots, eager hands reached for him, and he let them. He let the alcohol burn down his throat, let himself be pulled onto the dance floor, let soft fingers trail over his skin. The scent of expensive perfume filled his lungs, the heat of bodies grinding against him, the hum of admiration—it was all familiar, all comforting.

For a while, it worked. He almost forgot about you.

Almost.

Until she appeared.

A girl—bright-eyed, breathless, her hands nervously fidgeting as she approached.

“Jiyong, can I—”

Fuck. His breath caught in his throat. She looked just like you.

The same soft waves in her hair, the same tilt of her chin, the same big, doe-like eyes that he had once memorized every detail of.

For a split second, his heart clenched.

And then, without thinking, he cut her off.

“You wanna come back to my place?” The words left his lips before he could regret them.

Her eyes widened, then sparkled with excitement. “I—yes!”

He threw an arm around her shoulders, steadying himself as the alcohol swam in his bloodstream. Before leaving, he cast one last glance toward the corner where Seungri was sitting comfortably, girls draped over him like ornaments.

Jiyong lifted his hand in a mock salute.

Seungri barely had time to raise a questioning brow before Jiyong was already stumbling out of the club with his makeshift version of you.

-

The walk back to the villa was unbearable.

She talked too much. Her voice was too high, too eager.

But Jiyong bit his tongue, letting the illusion settle. Letting himself pretend that the words spilling from her lips were yours.

For a fleeting second, he could almost imagine you scolding him, snapping at him for being reckless, for drinking too much, for dragging another random girl back with him like he hadn’t already been ruined by someone else.

That’s what really got him going.

That’s what made him grip her wrist a little tighter, pull her along a little faster.

Finally, he swiped his key card, the villa door swinging open as he all but stumbled inside.

“Are you okay?” she asked, a tinge of concern in her voice.

He exhaled sharply, blinking at her. He hated how wrong she sounded.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he muttered. Then, bluntly, “Do you wanna fuck around?”

Her breath hitched. “Oh my god… I get to fuck G-Dragon…”

He winced. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“God, shut up. Just come here.”

She obeyed instantly, falling to her knees in front of him.

His hands worked quickly, shoving his jeans down his hips. His cock was barely hard, his body fighting against him because she wasn’t you.

She hesitated only for a second before wrapping her lips around him, warm and wet.

Jiyong gritted his teeth, shutting his eyes.

He imagined your lips—so soft, so eager, the way you would look up at him through your lashes, that innocent yet filthy gleam in your eyes. He remembered the way you used to hollow your cheeks, the way you’d moan softly just to tease him, the way you’d take him all the way down until he couldn’t think straight.

He curled his fingers into her hair, gripping just tightly enough to push her deeper. She gagged slightly, but he didn’t care.

He wasn’t here for her.

His mind was a whirlwind of memories—your pretty whimpers, your swollen lips, your breath hitching as he whispered filthy things into your ear.

“God, fuck yes…” he groaned, his grip tightening as his cock finally hardened in her mouth.

But it still wasn’t enough. He needed more. He yanked her off him suddenly, barely looking at her.

“Do you want to fuck?” he asked, voice void of emotion.

She nodded eagerly. “Yes, please…”

“Get on the bed. Hands and knees.”

She scrambled to obey.

Jiyong turned toward the bedside table, grabbing his wallet. His fingers found the condom he kept tucked inside, his mind screaming at him—this isn’t her. This isn’t her. This isn’t her.

But if he let himself think about it for too long, he might lose this fragile illusion.

He rolled the condom on, positioning himself behind her.

And then—

He pushed in.

The sound she let out made him cringe.

Too high-pitched. Too fake. Too not you.

His stomach twisted.

His hand shot forward, covering her mouth before she could make another noise.

“Shhh.” His voice was a warning. A plea.

She muffled something against his palm, but he didn’t hear her. He was already far away—back inside his mind, back inside his memories.

His thoughts betrayed him, flashing with images of you tangled beneath him, moaning his name, dragging your nails down his back as he fucked you raw.

He squeezed his eyes shut, clinging to the image of you earlier that night—the way you had sounded, the way you had looked, getting fucked by Seunghyun like he was the only man in the world.

It should’ve been him.

“Fuck, Y/n…” The name left his lips in a groan, before he could stop it.

The girl stiffened beneath him.

“I’m not—” she started.

“Shut up,” he snapped.

And then, with a few more desperate thrusts, it was over.

Jiyong pulled out quickly, his chest heaving, his head a fucking mess.

He barely looked at her as he sat at the edge of the bed, running a hand through his damp hair.

“I didn’t even cum!” she whined, exasperated.

“I don’t care,” Jiyong bit out, his tone ice-cold.

She scoffed, gathering her things in a huff before stomping out of the villa.

The second the door slammed behind her, Jiyong exhaled sharply.

He ripped the condom off, tossing it into the trash.

Then, without another thought, he made his way to the bathroom.

He flipped on the shower. Running warm by the time he stepped in.

He pressed his palms against the cool tile, letting the water scald his skin, his head hanging forward.

No matter how hard he scrubbed, how hot the water ran—

He couldn’t wash you off of him.

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[itoshiexx]

blossoming love

synopsis: sae is not good with words, so he communicates with flowers instead. / or, every time itoshi sae gave you a bouquet in significant moments.

pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 2.9k | warnings: fluffy fluff, tiny bit of angst if u squint, rin and sae’s relationship isn’t fucked up, kinda proofread, ooc sae maybe? i love him tho, its really just three thousand words of him talking about love

notes: this idea has been on my mind for a while since i adore the language of flowers, and even tho sae is probably ooc, i really liked the final result ♥ also i'm trying a new layout so lmk if y'all like it~ and finally thank u so much for 2.5k followers, i love you all sm!!

masterlist

i. sunflowers for a confession

never has itoshi sae been so painfully aware of his flaws and limitations quite like the day he realized he liked you as more than a friend. because, even though he wasn’t the type of guy to wait for the universe to give him everything he wished for, anyone within three miles could see how absolutely awful he was at communicating.

so that was the dilemma: how could he express his feelings to you if the words just didn’t come out?

“flowers.”

“huh?”

rin was sitting at the couch in their parent’s home, a paused horror movie on the tv. sae didn’t even notice he started mumbling and spilling his secret crush to the younger itoshi, and the tips of his ears went red at that. he was supposed to be the smooth, suave, aloof kind of guy that gave his little brother some love advice, and not the other way around.

(not as if any of them had some kind of experience. emotional intelligence didn’t really run in the bloodline.)

“just give them flowers, nii-chan. did you know each of them has meanings? it could help you express yourself.”

“you mean like… the language of flowers or some shit?”

rin rolled his eyes, but nodded.

“just try not to use ‘some shit’. i don’t think they’re into that,” he joked, and sae could only grimace and send him the middle finger.

but as much as he didn’t want to admit, his brother was right. you were special, and you deserved the best he could give — even if it wasn’t much. he was going to learn how to be better for you, but meanwhile, the language of flowers should suffice. 

the first time you receive a bouquet from itoshi sae, they are beautiful blooms of sunflowers, expressing his adoration towards you. the small card that comes with it has a simple question:

go out with me?

ii. white gardenias and the start of something new

your first date with the pro-footballer is something simple yet sophisticated, a dinner at a famous restaurant he rented just for you two. the dim lights make everything more romantic, and your heart is beating so loud you’re afraid sae might hear it from the other side of the table. despite the euphoria that leaves you nearly breathless, you manage to talk during the night while he mostly just listens.

itoshi sae is not familiar with dates — not actual ones, at least —, so to say he was nervous was an understatement. however, he hid it well behind his nonchalant persona, even if meant avoid talking just so he didn’t fuck things up. 

sae was never a talker, anyway. and it was long ago he figured he’d rather listen to the sound of your voice and drown in the image of your sparkly eyes every time you were excited about something. 

when dinner is over and sae drives to drop you home, you’re a little shocked to see him take another flower arrangement from the floor of the backseat, just hidden enough so you didn’t notice during your ride. the petals are a pure white color with beautiful twirls, and you can’t help but gape.

“is that… is that for me?”

sae wants to scream, because of course they are for you — who else could they be for? as if he’d ever look at anyone when you’re the brightest light shining on his life.

inevitably, you’re all itoshi sae can see.

“they are gardenias,” he simply says, fighting the heat that climbs through his neck. he pushes the bouquet a little more towards you. “they made me think of you.”

your chest swells with affection, and the sweet aroma of the blooms mixed with sae’s perfume makes you a little dizzy. you only realize how close he is when his nose touches yours, hands grazing your left cheek as if you’re something fragile that he’s scared to break.

but he kisses you anyway. his mouth is delicate against yours, trying to convey his longing as a complement to the flowers on your hold.

when your lips part and you finally say goodbye, you’re certain that sae has blossomed an entire garden in your heart. starting with the white gardenias that mean new beginnings, affection and a revelation of a secret love. 

iii. blue hyacinths for an apology

sae knows how much of an asshole he can be. contrary to popular belief, he knows how sharp his words can feel and how mean his voice can sound. even if he wasn’t exactly self aware, his brother rin would sure be able to spit it to his face every time they argued. 

it wasn’t like he always meant it. sure, he didn’t care about his behavior towards the media or people he found particularly annoying (pretty much everyone), but there were people in his life that he cherished; people he didn’t want to hurt. the thing is, itoshi sae was just really, really awkward when it came to his own emotions, and he was the worst at saying how he felt. 

it’s a few months into your relationship that sae learns he would rather never play football again than make you cry. it’s a silly argument, really — he doesn’t even remember what he gets so worked up for. maybe it’s jet lag that makes him lash out on you, but it doesn’t really matter when he sees your eyes glisten and a little sniffle comes out of your lips.

“i’m s-sorry,” you say, uneasy in a way that makes his stomach churn. he wants to wipe that expression off your face, and beat himself up for being the one who put it there. 

him and his stupid ass mouth, as rin would say.

“what? why are you saying that?” his tone is more exasperated than he intends to, and god, why can’t he just shut the fuck up?

“i didn’t mean to annoy you or make things harder… i know you’re tired from your game and i… i’m sorry, sae.”

he should be the one apologizing for being an idiot, he knows; but the words are so foreign to his system that sae doesn’t even know how to put the letters together. it’s only when you pick up your stuff and leave his apartment without another word that the pro-player is shaken out of his stupor.

“fuck,” he curses under his breath. “fucking hell, sae.”

he hates that he hurt you, hates that he doesn’t know how to fix it and hates it even more that his little brother lectures him on the phone later that day, when he calls to vent.

“you already were a shitty brother, so don’t be a shitty boyfriend too,” are rin’s exact words. 

okay, ouch. kinda stings, but he figures he deserves it.

it’s almost 9pm when sae goes to your house, two bags of your favorite treats resting on his forearm while he holds the carefully chosen bouquet. the surprise on your face when you open the door makes his heart reel, though the glimmer of happiness is what makes it all worth it.

“i messed up”, is what he says as soon as he can before you decide to kick him out. “i didn’t mean to snap at you like that and… i’m sorry. i never want to hurt you.”

you take the blue hyacinths from his grasp and look at them fondly before smiling, and sae thinks the sun is shining again. he’s eternally grateful you understand the sincerity and the regret that comes from those tiny petals.

iv. red roses and the epiphanic awareness of love 

journalists from all around the world are well aware of how much itoshi sae hates interviews. it is always pretty clear with the bored — if not extremely annoyed — expression on his face and the rude answers that make anyone break a cold sweat. he doesn’t like stupid questions (all of them) and much less when the press tries to meddle in his personal business. 

it wasn’t new to be asked about his romantic relationships, and this particular topic was something that made sae scowl and diss whatever nosy, lukewarm journalist decided to pry to earn a penny. by now, everyone knows that inquiring if the midfielder is dating anyone is forbidden territory.

still, the media keeps trying to find small loopholes in what they really want to know, questions safe enough to not enrage the itoshi. it’s one of those that makes sae’s world come to a halt in the middle of a press conference in italy.

“itoshi, can you tell us about the things you love most in life?”

his brain instantly shuts down, and suddenly, sae is no longer in a room with hundreds of microphones and cameras shoved on his face, but instead in a cozy little picnic at the beach with you by his side.

if he was being honest, sae never really thought about things like love for most of his life; and not just the romantic one, but love as a whole. sure, he knew he loved his parents and his little brother, but they were parts of his life he didn’t choose, almost as if those feelings were meant to be there ever since he was born.

thinking about his life growing up, he could never really tell if what he felt was ‘love’ or just ‘like’. did he love soccer? did he love salted kombucha tea? did he love the beach? or were all these things temporary fulfillments that could end at any minute? this feeling was such a difficult concept for sae that he never bothered to actually search for answers. 

but you’ve been dating for seven months now — and sae simply knows, as a universal truth written down his bones, that the feelings he has for you are too otherworldly to fit inside the mere perception of ‘like’. liking you doesn’t do justice to the way his heart leaps and his chest is filled with happiness and peace and anxiousness and euphoria all at once whenever he thinks of you.

it’s the strangest epiphany of the century, he thinks, but that is the exact moment itoshi sae is sure you are the sole definition of love. 

he loves you. he loves you the most in life.

and even if life is hard, because the world always is, loving you amongst this chaos is the easiest thing sae has ever done.

so when he comes back from his trip and you stay over at his penthouse, he tries to demonstrate this overflowing feeling when he touches you and kisses you and makes you fall apart just to put you back together. and when the morning comes and you paddle to the kitchen for breakfast, he is there holding the prettiest bunch of classical red roses with the faintest blush on his face. 

you’re beautiful even with your unruly hair and bleary eyes, and sae is certain he will never get tired of seeing you smile for him. 

with his throat clogged with emotion, the words don’t come out. but you take the flowers in your gentle embrace and kiss him with such fondness and infatuation that he can’t help but wish you understand the deep, unconditional love he feels for you.

“i love you too, baby.”

and thankfully, you always do.

v. pink camellias for longing

longing wasn’t a feeling sae was particularly used to. 

when he left japan at the ripe age of 14, the first few months were especially harsh, since he was in a foreign country with a totally different language and culture. sae found himself missing the place he grew up, not so much for the place itself, but for the comfort its familiarity could bring. he missed rin, too. 

but as time passed and itoshi sae transformed, he stopped viewing japan and everything it had as his home, solely becoming a wandering soul in the big, cruel world. the athlete, then, longed for nothing but to be the best. 

however, he realized that life as he knew would never be the same after falling in love with you, for those feelings were strong as tidal waves, all-consuming and capable of changing everything in its course. 

everytime he was away, sae really fucking missed you.

“how long will you be gone for?”

even before he left. 

“…a month.” 

his voice is low and slightly hesitant. you’re together on the living room couch, watching a shitty rom-com movie that sae hates but always watches because it’s your favorite. his arms are around you while your back rests against his chest, and he feels a little dizzy — whether it’s from your sweet perfume or the fear inside of him, he doesn’t quite know.

though he will never admit it, the midfielder is always scared whenever he has to leave for longer periods of time. because what if you get tired of him? what if you start feeling so alone and neglected you end up hating him? the thought alone is enough to make him want to throw up. 

you turn around to face him, and the little pout of your lips suddenly has him feeling sick. 

“so long? you really have to?”

he sighs, because yeah, unfortunately, he does have to stay that long to follow the team along the season. even if he’d rather stay with you and just fly near game days.

“yeah. i’m sorry, mi amor.”

sae lets you turn around fully and adjust yourself on his lap, each leg sitting comfortably around his hips. both of his hands are immediately holding on your waist, as if afraid you’d disappear if he didn’t. 

“don’t apologize, handsome. i know it’s your job. i’m just gonna miss you a lot.”

he has the urge to kiss your sullen look away, and it’s exactly what he does. his lips touch yours with the same tenderness they always do, but there’s a certain urgency in the way his mouth moves and his tongue carefully glides with yours, as if he’s trying to convey just how much more he will miss you.

because although no one would ever believe him, he always misses you more.

“i wish i could stay here with you,” he says when you part, and the little bashful smile you give him makes his heart soar. 

“but you love what you do, though.”

yeah, but i love you more. the thought is something that has been plaguing his mind during the nearly two years you’ve been together, because sae never expected to have something — or rather someone — who would become his entire world quite like how you do. it’s frightening and dreadful and not what he wished for himself, but sae can’t say that he hates it. there’s nothing about you or the gentleness of your love that he can hate.

that’s why when the time of his trip comes, a beautiful bouquet of pink camellias is placed on your kitchen island, and you know it’s his way of showing his longing for you.

vi. amaranthus and the promise of forever

even if many people disagree, sae knows he is always right. it’s how he knew you were the one even before he had you, and more so even before he realized he wanted you. somehow, it’s always been a truth his mind couldn’t ignore.

it’s on a lazy sunday morning at your shared apartment that itoshi sae is taken by a sudden urge of asking you to marry him. 

there’s nothing extraordinary about the scenery; just you making him a snack after waking up from your — now shared — 3pm nap, hair tied in a bun, swaying your hips while stirring the food on the frying pan. he hugs you from behind and rests his head on your shoulder, nosing at the crook of your neck in an attempt to absorb all that you are. you giggle with the ticklish feeling, and the warmth that spreads through his chest somehow doesn’t feel weird anymore.

somehow, it’s now something he deeply cherishes. sae can only describe being with you as pure bliss.

and he’s always been selfish, a true egoist to its core. it’s why he’s faced with his deepest desire to have the honor of spending a lifetime by your side, if only you’ll have him.

he’s had the ring for a while now, hidden behind several socks in his drawer. it might as well be the time, he thinks; a lazy sunday afternoon that has nothing grandiose. sae was never one for big gestures anyway.

so when you both finish eating, sae tells you he’ll be out for a jog, and you just hum with your pretty smile. his heart is beating abnormally fast when he goes to the flower shop, and by the time he’s back home, he thinks it might just explode.

but this… you are it for him, he’s certain. the same way he was certain four years ago, when your love started to blossom until it became the prettiest garden.

and when sae is down on one knee asking the most important question of his life, ring box in one hand and the bouquet of amaranthus on the other, the teary smile and whispered “yes” you give makes him certain that, no matter what, your love will be eternal.

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