#i think i might have depression
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I'm not making it to 2026!! Merry Christmas!!!🥳🥳🎄
#merry christmas#im not okay#i think i might have depression#not sure tho#i feel so incredibly sad it's not funny anymore#i need a hug from my mum
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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progress is incremental bUT ITS PROGRESSING
#Kastor#myart#myocs#i love both gremlin faces so he might change between them sometimes#though preferring the masked version more often#no idea how the clothing situation is gonna go#aLSO hI I THINK MY ACNE MEDS HAVE BEEN AFFECTING MY DEPRESSION MORE THAN I PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT#IM ALMOST AT THE END OF MY TREATMENT AND IM JAZZED FOR IT TO FINALLY BE OVER#HOPEFULLY I'LL FEEL MORE MOTIVATED TO DRAW#AND COMPLETE THAT ONE COMMISSION#hmmmmmm i need to make that weakpoint blend in better
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BAD DOGS!!!!
#pjsk#pjsk fanart#akito shinonome#toya aoyagi#akitoya#RARE ARTWORK FROM ME#i think i might stop posting on X as it gets more and more ridiculous... thinking of changing my IGNs across everywhere also#been very busy with life i just battled severe depression for a year im better tho i went for therapy#hows everyone#i want to draw kh too but recently i have been not feeling so inspired.... might have to play the game again
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💘
#this might be the most scribble thing I post here yet bahahahahahahahahahahaaha#I still like how the hands turned out even though I didn’t finish them😇#but it’s pretty messy and the hands might be the only part I like🥲#but since this blog is my art journey documentation here you are#I was pretty busy today so no good art but maybe tomorrow we’ll see#I am preparing things to FINALLY answer my asks🥹#& if you tagged me in anything I actually have been meaning to respond!!!!!!!! my notifications are the WORST and so confusing on here😵💫#and I’m technology grandma…#hope u all have had an amazing day !!!! 🫶#my brother in law has been fishing and catching SO MANY sargo#(sargo = sea bream for the animal crossing playing English speakers😙)#AND ITS LITERALLY SOOOOOOOOO DELICIOUS !!!!!#i cook it in the weirdest way possible#you just have to gut the fish and cut off its fins etc#then you put it in a wet salt bed and cover it up…cook it for 30 min…AND VOILA ITS DONE !!!!!#I don’t add any spices…NOTHING…and this fish literally has the taste and texture of crab covered in butter#LIKE…😳 it might be my favorite food/fav thing to cook these days bc it’s so easy and fresh caught fish is just delicious😫#well that was my grandma cooking show of the day👩🍳#now you know how to cook sargo a la sal 👩🍳#also going back to the drawing🥹 I just love these two so much…#I love thinking of sweet moments…most of my angst is confined to writinc😆#the chapter I’m writing right now is SO ANGST DEPRESSING (sorry Eloise)#it will get better…I promise…#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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Methinks its time to move back home actually
#i talked to my aunt about it and honestly like. i might as well#im broke im in a bunch of debt i have no access to medical insurance so i cant get therapy im alone depressed and my bills are always late#and ive been stuck in my apartment for months bc of this ridiculous registration shit for my car#so as much as i dont want to sell my car OR move im. thinking about it now#like at least id have the house almost to myself since my sibling moved out#and i could make the upstairs my own pretty much. plus ive been meaning to jelp renovate up there so#why not#plus i can save for tattoo stuff properly#i just feel like im giving up i was trying to prove i could care for myself and#I feel like ive proven km incapable pf being an adult bc of this it sucks#but at least my ma and my aunt are willing to help me as i figure shit out. im lucky to have them#mag.txt
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I’m sorry - is that a picture of Eddie (and the side of bucks face from the kitchen scene TM??!!!
On bucks fridge???
Also pictures from mays graduation I see you!!!
#I am obsessed with the fridge pictures#I need to see Eddie’s fridge because I think it might be bare right now#because buck and Eddie have swapped story arcs right now - buck in his depression era and Eddie finding joy#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#911 abc#evan buckley#fridge theory#fridge magnets#fridge magnet theory
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"Dick was an angry kid", "Dick was full of rage when he was Robin", "Jason was the happy Robin, not Dick"
Look at me in the eyes and explain to me how this sweet, playful, mischievous, kind and thoughtful kid is an angry child.
He was not an angry child. He does not deserve to be labelled as such.
You know what Dick Grayson was, though? He was a child with feelings. A kid that experienced all kind of emotions corresponding to the situation he was in.
I'm not telling you he was never angry and that he was always a happy-go-lucky kid. But is ridiculous how there's so much insistence on this idea that he was full of rage and his only mood was anger.
"But when his parents died-" When his parents died he was, above all, so fucking heartbroken. Yes, he was angry, because it wasn't fair. He shouldn't have lost everything in one night. He shouldn't have had to watch the bodies of the two persons he most loved in the world fall and break. He was just a kid. Of course he's going to feel anger after that. But that's not the only thing he felt. He was sad, too. And in spite of that tragedy, he could smile and feel some happiness as well.
Calling him an angry child is very insensitive, in my opinion. Is that how you call a child grieving his parents and processing loss?
Dick Grayson wasn't full of rage. He was full of life. He was full of the strength to keep going, of the love his parents left him, and of the pain of loss for a while. He was full of good and became someone who'd prevent more tragedies like his from happening. And there was anger, yes, but it was never what drove him to be Robin.
#don't mind me just rambling here once again about the angry robin dick grayson allegations#I get in comics like dark victory everything looks more gloomy and dick might look more angry than usual#but you have to consider how YOU would feel had you just lost your parents#once tony zucco is out of the picture you'll see a much brighter dick grayson#and I think many of you confuse being depressed with being angry#robin dick grayson#dick grayson#robin#nightwing#dc comics#dc#the angry robin title should not exist and I'll say that as many times as necessary#batman
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i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.
idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.
#sorry i'm rambling i'm a little depressed rn (hah) and i've been thinking about murderbot again#at least writing this got me out of the adhd/depression paralysis :) yeah this might be self-indulgent so what#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#𓄿#i just love martha wells' writing for things like that#and i love murderbot as a character so very much#also i'm pretty sure some of this could be read in a way i did not intend#i'm not trying to say that depressed people have the option to just not be depressed#or that it's as easy as going “okay well i can either care or not care... i guess i should care! done!”#listen i know it's not like that; i know that first hand#but murderbot had just enough energy and fight in it to try and it had people in its life that cared about it and helped it#and it managed to get out of that deep dark hole#and we see it struggling with trauma etc in the later books#things are not magically better#just yeah#okay imma add#tw depression#tw suicide#(this is not about suicide though; this is about sitting on the couch while the dishes and the laundry pile up#and watching netflix because getting up and taking care of yourself and calling a friend or going outside are too difficult)#(but i can see how this might hit a little close to home if that is something someone's struggling with&better safe than sorry)#also sending lots of love to everyone who this resonates with
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what do you mean ‘what happened in india between john and paul?’ THIS is what happened in india between john and paul
#i can’t watch this scene without thinking of Them#it’s no use paul. paul we’ve gotta have it out. i have loved you ever since i’ve known you paul#i jest i jest#but sometimes i think this might not be too far off#other times i think it was more to do with blowjobs and internalised homophobia or depression and john’s fear of abandonment#or all of the above#who knows yoko! but i do love a bit of speculation#i can never quite decide how i think it happened or even how i view paul’s side of things in their relationship#mostly i think if older paul could go back he’d love john in whatever way he could#they’re very ‘right person wrong time’ in that sense#paul mccartney#john lennon#mclennon#john and paul#the beatles#beatles rpf#what happened in india#little women
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HIIII!!!! I love how you coloured that panel with All might it looks really cool ദ്ദി(。•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊ May I suggest this panel from when All Might and Stain first met? Or any other panel from their meeting :D
Coloring random MHA manga panels day 3 [Request]
#all might#yagi toshinori#hero killer stain#mha#bnha#my hero academia#manga coloring#I'm not used to cold tones but I think I did it pretty well#The translation is slightly different because I got the panel from another website to have better quality ❤️#Toshi looks so depressed but cute here 💔#My first request#thank you!!!
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I just explained this to someone and I thought I'd make a post for it on here too.
Shrouds in Percy Jackson are like this right?
But their siblings decorate and make them out of silks with decorative embellishments on them?
The empty ones are burned after a quest to symbolise that the person they were made for came back from a quest ALIVE.
The lack of cemetery at chb shows that when they burn Silena, Charlie, Luke, Lee, Castor, everyone's shrouds, they have their bodies in them. They're being cremated.
#which is horrible to think cus while you're on a quest your sibs are preparing for your possible death. which ig is a coping mechanism?#`i know your worring about your sibs possible death why dont you make them a burial shroud! if they come back alive we burn it with them!`#`what if they don't come back alive?`#`....ummm well still burn it`#castor and pollux#lee fletcher#michael yew#charlie beckendorf#silena beauregard#luke castellan#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#pjo hoo toa#now some might get taken home idk rick never says. it is a kids book he can't out right say it ig#rick riordan#now i dokt think decorating burial shrouds is a an mythology thing or greek thing i think its a 'shit we have to destract these kids from#thinking about the possibility of their siblings death! uhhhhh...... decorate a cloth with us? two birds one stone?'#thing. which is depressing but fair it gives them something else to work on instead of worrying#camp half blood#chb#dont quote me on ancient burial rights but cus idk#the last olympian#the lightning thief#the sea of monsters#the titans curse#the battle of the labyrinth
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it's not good for the job search to have a fundamental, bone-deep certainty that the world will always punish an honest attempt >:|
#robin processes emotions on main#this is the result of my dad being unemployed and/or getting pushed out of his jobs five different times in my childhood#long and depressing story short: he got fired five times for being too autistically blunt and unwilling to lie on behalf of his clients#and every time he lost a job we had to move#and it left me with this just. utter certainty that I will be fired#and/or fail at my jobs#it's a very cold calm certainty#until I think about going out and trying anyway. and then it's a ''oh um um let's think about something else''#it's hard for me to even think about it because it's too scary and my mind sends me in any other direction because I start#physiologically feeling like I'm dying :)#btw this is all just me reminding myself that my anxiety isn't stupid; it comes from literal childhood insecurity#I Don't Actually Think it's true. I Hope it's not true. I just feel in my bones that I'm gonna be homeless someday#google search: how to convince your bones that we might be okay? how to tell your bones we have a chance if we'll take it#ENOUGH midnight rambling. bedtime for robin
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me: we are Not going to worsen our life while in a minor depressive episode
the brain: :/
#two things i will now overshare about in the tags:#the number and severity of symptoms i am exhibiting that indicate uhhhhhh#an anxiety disorder that i Don't have. don't want to have please. i fear this.#anyway I'm getting outnumbered. but i am still convinced I'm making it up so anyway#2. bro when u catch a glimpse of ur friends on social media#and the lives they're living and their successes and accomplishments#and ur like damn. yall living out here ?#(and also like. damn. yall feel like u deserve to celebrate yourselves?)#(yall don't feel like a horrible dessicated corpse most of the time emotionally?)#yall is not part of my vernacular i feel the need to say this#hurgle says things#2024 was supposed to be my mentally well year. who the fuck is this#like my depression we are chill i know her. we talk we discuss. we're okay#this new beast though who has been festering in here. i want her to move out............#but i think she might have already set up all her furniture...... and I'm hiding in my room#do u get my metaphors#anyway I'm fine bc I'm used to living like this but i am. unwell.
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T'Pring and Stonn from the @startrekswimsuitspecial
#T'Pring#Stonn#T'Pring/Stonn#star trek#tos#st tos#star trek tos#'Ready to go home?'#bea art tag#As the world drags me kicking and screaming into the Depression Month I look into my locket (where I've put Summer for safekeeping)#Anyway. I love T'Pring so much - thinking about her again bc I saw a post that said it would have been more logical for T'Pring#to just have sex with Spock. I disagree!!! Since her goal was not to have sex with or marry Spock. In fact she was fighting#for any way NOT to do that! So it would have been quite illogical indeed!#You the audience who loves Spock might think 'why didn't T'Pring just be pragmatic and have sex with this essential stranger every#seven years for the rest of their lives? It's a win win bc Spock stays alive without having to fight Kirk and T'Pring gets all the money an#power she desires' but you the audience have forgotten the fact that T'Pring's desire is not money or power and is instead a divorce#Rather telling that the 'logical' thing for a woman to do in you the audience's opinion is ''just'' have sex with a man for HIS sake#instead of rejecting him for her own#If you believe T'Pring's actions to be illogical/incomprehensible#perhaps consider whether you are actually thinking about T'Pring and not Spock
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