#i think i might be overthinking it all though
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hellenhighwater · 14 hours ago
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Hi Hellen I was wondering if I could beg some thoughts/advice from you! I've been rotating an idea for a while now of making a coin/token for my dnd group - I haven't the digital tech to 3d print/etch etc. So I was thinking clay would be my best bet to bringing the concept to life. All that being said, if YOU were to make a coin, how would you go about it? Would you build it up from scratch? Would you use a pre-made mold as a baseline? Would that be cheating?? I might be overthinking this project as a whole. ANY thoughts would be much appreciated - I absolutely adore your work!
Absolutely doable! I don't work with polymer clays, but they're an option if you don't have kiln access. Ceramic coins are an option if you've got access to a kiln or if you're willing to do the microwave kiln thing, which (insanely) does get hot enough to melt glass or fire low temp clays and glazes. That does require a dedicated microwave, which you can probably find secondhand. I've never used one and you might want to do some safety research first.
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From a fabrication standpoint, you're going to want a round cookie cutter, and you can either hand carve the coins or make/buy a stamp. Hand carving is time consuming but the best option if you want every coin to be different. If you want them all to be the same, then a stamp makes sense. Powder your clay (rolled into a flat sheet) with cornstarch and do the same to your stamp to ensure it doesn't stick; any leftover cornstarch will be burned off in the kiln. Your stamp can be made from clay! You can carve your design into a piece of clay in reverse, fire it, and use that to press the design into unfired clay. You can get custom clay stamps for about $20-$30, if you want a clearer custom design, and rubber stamps are an option too, though they don't give as much depth.
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If you're doing kiln fired glazes, you can really only do one side of the coin, unless you do coins with a hole in the middle and fire them on a high temperature nichrome jewelry armature, like this. You can glaze both sides (but not the center hole) and fire them hanging on these rods like big flat beads.
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Photos are just pulled from Google, I didn't go to the studio today and that's where my stuff is
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starryylies · 5 hours ago
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Simon's reaction his s/o saying "waiting for it still marriage" but turns out she just wasn't ready to show her body ( tho she likes it but yk second thought about it) , but still wants to get fuk by him
Hii thank you for this ask!!
This ask hit close to home. I feel the same way honestly 😭😭
I’m so sorry on how late the response is. I hope you enjoy though!
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You’d told simon pretty early on in the relationship that you wanted to wait until marriage.
Simon was perfectly fine with that because that indirectly meant you saw him getting married to you.
It was a Saturday afternoon and you thought Simon had gone to pick up some groceries while you were laying on your shared bed, on a call with your friend
You were expressing how you feel like a liar since you’re basically hiding the truth on as to why you don’t want to have sex with simon.
Simon being the sneaky fuck he is decided to evesdrop because he was suddenly nervous as to why you don’t want to do it with him if marriage is not the reason.
He started overthinking, feeling as if he isn’t attractive enough for you to actually have sex with him.
But his train of thought was halted when you told your friend that it’s because you don’t know if he will react pleasantly to the way your body looks and also because he’d be the first person to see it.
Simon was dumbfounded, like he genuinely didn’t understand where the fuck you’d even get the idea that he won’t like your stunning and perfect body, He knows it’s stunning and perfect because he’s staring at it almost all the time
but the first person to see it thing really inflated his ego.
Simon wants to burst in your room and confront you but he stops himself to hear what you have to say next
You tell your friend you’re scared he might find your body disgusting and unattractive.
And that’s when simon decides he’s heard enough and decides to barge into your room.
“Hey si, what’re you doing home so quick, did you get the groceries?” You’re startled by his sudden appearance and start worrying if he heard your conversation
“I never went”
“ were you evesdropping on me?” You ask hurriedly
“Yes” he says with a blank face.
You really don’t know how to reply to that but applaud his honesty from inside
“Love, I needa speak to you”
“I don’t get where you’ve gotten this idea from but ya really need to get rid of it” he says curtly
“You don’t think I’ve tried?” You groan out
“Well not hard enough.”
“Simon!”
“Okay sorry, but trust me luv. I’ll be the lucky bastard who’d get to see you and trust me there’s no way in hell I’d ever think of it as any less than the best”
“But si, it’s not like the girls on insta and TikTok”
“I don’t have social media”
“Fine then it’s not like the girls in porn”
“Even you know I don’t watch porn, find it fucking terrible and hilarious. Don’t know how ya wank to it honestly.”
You’re left speechless.
Simon seems to catch onto that and then continues to say,
“And love trust me, we don’t have to do it if you’re not ready yet. Whenever and wherever you are, I’m ready too” he gives you a soft pat on your head, tracing his fingers down to your cheek and giving it a soft pinch.
“So wherever?” You joke, giving him a toothy and mischievous smirk.
“In the fuckin’ backseat if ya want to baby” he laughs out, his deep chuckle reverberating in your spine.
“I love you si, thank you for not being an ass about this”
you give him a soft kiss which takes further by making it more intense, his mouth gobbling yours and sounds of soft moans in between flooding the room.
Oh and your friend on the call is stuck hearing all that as well :)
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bapeach · 2 days ago
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Boombastic
Just a short story while I try to get back into writing. Don't love it, but it's better than nothing 😁 Constructive criticism is always welcome. Find my masterlist here :)
Pairing(s): Nika Mühl x female!reader  Word count: 1.3k+ Summary: You catch Nika watching TikTok edits of you.
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When you enrolled in UConn, your only plans were to play basketball and get a degree. You didn’t care about making friends or getting a girlfriend. You only really wanted to play ball, but you knew you needed to have a backup in case something happened and you could never play again. So a degree in communication it was.
It’s not like you struggled making friends, you just didn’t ever have your own little friend group. You hopped from group to group, always a friend to everyone, but never letting anyone get too close. Well, that was before you came to university. If you really thought you were going to be able to only be teammates with your basketball team, you thought wrong. Joining that team means joining a family. And thank God for that. You loved those girls to pieces and were happy to call every single one of them your best friends.
You were especially close to Nika, however. Which was a good thing, seeing as she was also your roommate. And maybe you also had a tiny crush on her, but no one needed to know that. Sure, you two playfully flirted with each other all the time, but that was all just a joke. To the Croatian, at least. You meant every single thing you said to her. Things like how she was the prettiest girl you’d ever seen, how her smile could light up the darkest rooms, and how if she were yours, you’d treat her right.
There are moments when you think she might like you back. The way she looks at you isn’t the way friends look at each other. Friends also don’t blush the way she does when you lean in close to mutter a compliment. But then you start overthinking it and make yourself believe that you’re just imagining things. Because there is no way that the goddess that is Nika Mühl will ever like you.
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You hum your favorite song to yourself as you walk through the hallways. You’d just gone out for some errands and were on the way back to your dorm. You wonder if Nika is already there or if she’s still with Paige. You hope she’s home, maybe then you two could finish the show you’d started a while ago. You quicken your step a little as you near your dorm. When you open the door, you take a step inside to see Nika already on the couch, her back towards you. 
A grin appears on your face as you quietly put your stuff down on the table next to the door. You open your mouth to say something, but you know that wouldn’t do much. Nika is wearing those annoying headphones that you complain about at least once a day. They’re great for the person wearing them, the sound is clear, and outside sounds are completely muffled. They aren’t so great for the people around them, though. You can clearly hear everything the wearer is listening to, while they can’t hear you yell at them to turn it down.
You start taking off your shoes as you hear the song playing on Nika’s phone. You smirk a little as you recognize the music. Boombastic by Shaggy. The song has been all over your fyp all week, so you figure the brunette is scrolling on TikTok. Your face scrunches up in confusion when you’ve finally taken off both shoes. The song was playing on repeat. “I swear to God if she’s watching an edit of herself to that song,” you think to yourself as a mischievous grin grows on your face.
You walk over and pause behind her, watching her phone from over her shoulder. Your mouth drops open as you see yourself in the video. A smirk appears on your face as you watch Nika play the TikTok over and over again. You see that she’s already liked it and has it saved to one of her folders. You shoot forward, snatching the phone out of her hands as you quickly back up.
The brunette bolts up as she looks at you with wide eyes, her cheeks blazing red in embarrassment. “Y/N, give me back my phone!” She huffs. She tries to take it out of your hands, but you hold your arm away from her as you look at her cockily. “Damn, I look good,” you hum, pursing your lips.
“Y/N, please,” she begs, looking at the floor. You tap her profile as you check out in which folder she saved the video. “Oh. My. God… You have a folder with 102 edits saved of me?” You laugh in shock and amusement. The Croatian girl burns an even brighter red as she stops trying to steal the phone from you, having accepted defeat. She sits back down as she puts her face in her hands. “Shut uppp,” she whines.
You look away from the phone towards the brunette, your smile softening. “God, she’s adorable,” you think. Nika huffs as she hears you take a screenshot of the number and send it to yourself. She wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole. Once you’re done, you throw the phone next to her, not looking as it bounces against her thigh.
You grab your own phone, saving the screenshot before opening your TikTok. After a few swipes, you put your phone back in your pocket as you look at Nika with a grin. Feeling her phone buzz, the brunette grabs it and unlocks it to check your message. She stares at the picture you sent for a few seconds. It was a screenshot of your own TikTok account, a folder with her name on it visible. The number “253” on display.
“You… you have 253 TikToks saved of me?” She says as she looks up at you, her eyes wide. “102 is a rookie number. I thought you liked me?” You tease as you cross your arms. She rolls her eyes as you walk over, a smirk forming on her face. “253 of me? People are gonna think you have a crush on me, Y/N/N,” she grins. You grab her hand and pull her up from the couch. Her cheeks flaming as you pull her against you. “Hmm, and so what if I do?” You say with a low voice as you grab her chin. 
“I’m not sure I believe you,” she replies, looking up at you with doe eyes. “Is that so?” You mutter, leaning a little closer to her. “Mhm… Why don’t you show me how much you like me?” She mumbles back. She barely has time to finish her sentence as you pull her face towards your own. You kiss her hard and deep as you grip her a little tighter. When you’re out of breath, you back up a bit and smirk. “How was that for proof?”
She rolls her eyes at you, a grin on her face. You soften a bit as you look at her. You move your hand to cup her cheek as you rub your thumb across it. “I really like you, Niks,” you say, your voice barely louder than a whisper. You don’t care about the fact that you’re looking at her with vulnerable, desperate eyes. You needed her to know. 
She grabs your face in her hands, pulling you close. You stare into her eyes, only being a few inches away from her. “Then why haven’t you asked me out yet?” She murmurs, her lips a small pout. You look at her in adoration and a hint of regret. “I’m sorry for being too scared to… Let me make it up to you? Dinner at 6 tomorrow?”
She grins at you, pulling you in for another kiss. “Deal.” You beam a wide smile at her before smirking. “So… Do you often watch TikToks of me on repeat?” You let out a deep laugh as Nika slaps your shoulder, pushing you away. You grab her wrists, pulling her back against you in a hug. “You’re a jerk,” she mutters against your chest. “Yeah, but you love me,” you reply, feeling her smile against your shirt. “Hmph,” she huffs, but squeezes you tighter.
You suppose those damn headphones aren’t so bad after all.
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ylangelegy · 10 hours ago
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true hate’s kiss 💋 chan x reader.
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★ first seen in svt x reverse tropes. dedicated to @chanranghaeys and, of course, the birthday boy himself. word count: 905.
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It started with the ribbiting.
The first time it happened, Chan had thought it was a hiccup. Some weird sound caught in the back of his throat. But then it kept happening, and happening, and happening, and no amount of water could fight it down. 
What a horrifying thing to realize— that he was slowly but surely turning into a frog. 
It’s the type of fuckass situation that Chan thought only existed in fiction. He’d seen the Disney movie, of course. He even gave it four stars on Letterboxd. 
To have it happen to him, though? Insane. 
All because he’d gotten into a spat with someone at the park. He’d thought the old hag was crazy when she screeched about being a witch, when she waved a stick at him and claimed he could only be cured by ‘true hate’s kiss’. Not true love, mind you. True hate. 
There was really only ever one person that Chan loathed with every fibre of his being.
You’d understandably been skeptical when he came up to you. In hindsight, starting off with “I need you to kiss me” may have not been one of his stronger openings.
“This is a weird way to confess,” you had shot back, and he laughed so hard he thought he might cry. 
He called you delusional. You retaliated by slamming the door in his face with a scathing remark of “Enjoy being a fuckass frog, then! Ribbit ribbit, bitch!”
‘Ribbit ribbit’ he has been doing, much to his utter distaste. The trilling has been driving him mad. He’s convinced his palms are getting more clammy by the day. And is it just him, or is his skin taking on a more greenish tint? 
Chan swallows what little pride he has left and does what he has to do: He grovels. 
He gets on his knees and grits out pleas for just one kiss. (No tongue, even, he says, unless you want some. That earns him an upside smack to the head.) 
He promises to leave you alone for a week, a month. That’s not enough; he can tell by your stoic, unwavering expression. 
“Anything,” he blurts out. “I’ll give you anything.” 
It’s a dangerous thing to promise, but it’s what lands. “Anything?” you repeat, tilting your head to one side. 
You’re the perfect picture of everything he’s despised. Composure, ridicule, smugness. 
Chan shifts from down on the ground, his knees pressing into the cool wood of the floorboards. “Anything,” he confirms with the solemnity of a man accepting a death sentence. 
You feign like you’re thinking about it, fingers resting at your chin. The litany strikes up in Chan’s head. A chant of I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I—  
“Deal,” you say. 
He blinks. Dread shivers down his spine, though it’s quickly replaced by something more akin to relief. Better one bad kiss than be a frog for life. 
“Okay.” His words are an exhale as he scrambles to his feet, drawing himself up to his full height. “Alright, then.” 
Chan has never been more grateful to be a couple of inches taller than you. It’s always been the topic of his jabs, and now it gives him both literal and metaphorical leverage. 
“Let’s make this quick,” he grumbles even though he’s in no position to be making demands when he’s the one cashing in a favor. He can only hope and pray that the anything you might want is somewhat reasonable, that it won’t shatter his already wounded pride. 
You roll your eyes. He bites back a snarky remark on the tip of his tongue. 
Chan rests his hand on the column of your neck, because if he’s going to do this, he’s going to do it right. Don’t overthink it, a voice in the back of his head wryly advises, and so he doesn’t. 
He squeezes his eyes shut and leans down, bracing for the worst. I hate you, I hate you, I hate—
—green apple lip balm. 
The refrain screeches to a halt. Chan never thought he’d use the word ‘soft’ to describe you; he knows you for your rough edges and sharp wit. Nothing about you is subtle or mellow, most especially when it comes to him. 
And yet. 
You’re not even touching him. You haven’t laid a single finger on him, and yet Chan is holding his breath like he’s underwater.
When your mouth parts ever so slightly— he doesn’t have the time to analyze that, to wonder if it’s impulse or pleasure— he responds in kind, his tongue briefly tracing over your lower lip. 
His earlier jab must register in your mind because you begin to pull away, your part of the deal fulfilled. The feeling of loss is instant. 
Don’t overthink it, his conscience had yelled. He didn’t realize it might translate to Don’t think at all. 
Chan’s fingers flex at your neck. If kissing you felt like being underwater, being apart felt like gasping for air. 
Gone is the chorus in his head. Why did he hate you, anyway? 
He doesn’t have to say a thing. His body acts for him; instinctively, he leans forward, chasing your lips for another kiss. 
(Later: A doctor’s visit reveals that the ‘ribbiting’ was, in fact, hiccups. An electrolyte imbalance, the attending tells a mortified Chan. Might be good to drink Gatorade. 
When Chan’s first thought is the apple-flavored variant, he knows he’s screwed.) 
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crescenthistory · 1 day ago
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Hey Carina congratulations on 2k!! Such a wonderful milestone for a even more wonderful writer I'm happy for you it's more than well deserved
Perhaps I can ask for an Argue? I thought of the prompt 6 from List B the Bookshop AU with Regulus and muggle reader just for the twist inside Reggie's brain baby definetly doesn't know how to act around muggles but is smitten by reader at first sight
thank you so so much my love<33 you're an angel
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i will ARGUE for prompt 6 "bookshop au" with regulus black
carina's 2k celebration
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cw: fem!reader, use of y/n, muggle!reader, references to walburga and orion's great parenting (abuse + discrimination), shy!regulus, implied overstimulation, exposure therapy
wc: 1.3k
Sirius insisted that part of deconstructing everything they had been taught growing up was emerging yourself in the muggle world.
While Regulus thought that logic was sound when they were sitting in his living room, talking everything through over a glass of wine, he most decidedly did not think so anymore. He was taking his first stroll down a strictly muggle street in Central London and though he would not admit it, he was beyond stressed and overwhelmed. 
He kept overthinking, second-guessing everything he did and whether it would give him away too much, hand constantly itching for his wand. Regulus felt naked, exposed, and was two seconds away from tucking tail and running back home to Sirius to promptly tell him exactly what he thought of this plan.
It was something he had never thought much of before as he would always just spell away any annoying sounds, but the noise level around him was deafening to the point where it genuinely hurt. Becoming increasingly desperate to get away from the sound and hide in a corner where he could apparate without being seen, Regulus began scouting for a place to hide. An alleyway, a quiet shop – anything.
When a wooden sign stood out to him in the sea of neon lights, with something scribbled about books, he knew he had found the spot. 
Sidestepping the many strangers in his path, Regulus reached for the narrow door and pushed it open, all but clambering into the space.
The bookshop was a stark contrast to the outside world, to his relief seeming more like something he might find in Diagon Alley than Oxford Street. There were small glowing orbs on grey wire strung up around the ceiling to soften the light, all the furniture was wooden and dark, and several plants decorated the space to liven it up.
At the very back, past all the beautifully decorated shelves, was a desk that he currently saw only a tuft of hair poking up from behind. On instinct, Regulus took a step closer to see what it was when the person rose back up to their full height, holding at least five books in their arms.
“Oh!” you exclaimed as you saw him, nearly losing all the books you were holding. He jumped too, clearly not having expected to see someone, despite being the one fleeing into your shop. “So sorry, darling, I didn’t hear you come in.”
Regulus tried to get his vocal chords working again. “That’s quite alright, my apologies.”
You waved him off with one hand as you rounded your little till to walk up to a semi-full shelf and begin putting the books into it. “No apologies needed around here. What can I do for you, love?”
Your voice was so melodic, almost lilting through your sentence as if you and Regulus were old friends, as if you knew him. He wondered how that was even possible, if you could be a witch in disguise using legilimency on him.
When you turned your head to look at his awestruck expression with an entertained smile, he realised that was certainly not the case — and that he had yet to answer your question.
“Sorry, no, I, uh–” Regulus had to stop himself to gather his thoughts, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose a bit abashedly. “No, sorry, it’s just my first time in this… neighbourhood and I got a bit overwhelmed by all the noise.” He pointed with his thumb over his shoulder to the treacherous, big and confusing world outside.
You pressed your lips together as you smiled, almost as if you were holding back an even bigger one. You nodded in complete understanding. “It’s rowdy at this time of day, even for us seasoned veterans.” You kept talking as you walked around your shop, fetching a ladder to fix something at the top of the shelf he stood by. “You are more than welcome to hide away in here with me, no pressure.”
Part of Regulus was terrified at the thought of being alone in a room with a muggle that he had to keep this huge secret from – it was different than with Ted, because at least he knew about magic by the time Regulus met him. You had no idea and the thought really messed with his head. More importantly though, part of Regulus was terrified at your offer because you were painfully pretty and he was too much of a stumbling mess to be trusted around you right now.
Yet a simple glance over his shoulder told him that there was no way he was heading back out there right away. 
With a sigh and his slumping shoulders, he resigned himself to his fate. He closed his eyes in defeat for a few second before turning them back on you, accompanied by a small and probably shy smile. “I would really like that, thank you…”
“Y/N,” you supplied at his pause. “And it’s no problem, it’s usually during rush hours that I have the most time to kill anyway. Those who head out for books are usually the ones wishing to avoid that chaos.” You gave him a knowing wink as you climbed back down the ladder and stowed it away in favour of bringing out a paper box filled with more books.
“You… this is what you do?” Regulus asked as he took in the place, almost in awe. “You get to just spend every day surrounded by books?”
You looked at him with a curious smile, almost as if he asked a very obvious question. “Yes, it’s quite neat, isn’t it? I organise the shelves and various seasonal collections, I dust and keep everything clean and I sell books to passerbys. There’s much worse gigs to land.”
“Sounds like kind of a dream, actually.” He had never seen a bookshop that wasn’t kept running mostly by magic. Watching you unload the books yourself and organise them, floating around the small shop with an inherent elegance was magical in itself. “I assume you’re a reader, then?”
Finally a topic he might be a bit more steady on. Until this, his only interactions with the muggle world had been through its literature. As he scanned the shelves while you worked around him, he saw various titles and names he recognised. He basked in the atmosphere of them, in how this was going quite well despite his previous shaking fear. 
You laughed heartily. “Of course, I think that has to be part of the application you send in. I trust you’re the same?”
You gestured vaguely to Regulus, presumably making some comment on how he was dressed. He didn’t quite have the muggle social cues to decipher it, so he just smiled nervously and nodded. “Yes, though I have mostly only read classics. You know, old philosophers and the like. I would like to expand my taste.”
Upon that comment, you stopped in your work to lean against a bookshelf and study him. A small smile was sneaking around your lips. “I never did ask you your name.”
“It’s Regulus. Regulus Black.”
Any hope that you might have been a witch disappeared when the name invoked no response in your face. Yet, Regulus was finding that so far, it really was no huge problem that you were a muggle. There was still some connection to be found, and you most certainly were not any of the words leftover from Walburga rattling in his brain.
“Well, then, Regulus,” you drawled with your gaze happily trained on him. “Care to have your taste expanded today?”
There was no hesitation in his smile. “I would love to.”
You had no idea to what degree that sentiment rang true for him.
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harvestmoth · 1 year ago
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Lo. Love your Rejuv art. Just wanted to ask if you have more ideas for the au where nothing goes wrong (lie) for Pokémon Rejuvenation.
thank you!! and im sorry to say i do not! im very bad at coming up with ideas but i would love to hear others ideas on anything, though i will say when i started posting about it i had a brief thought of flora, florin, and talon taking melia and the protag with them to terajuma when they cheak out the tyluric temple as like a way for them to. get to terajuma. but idk how well thatd work out continuity wise. or what the whole terajuma arc would be like because of it
#thinking about it makes me sad though melia wouldve never met crawli thats so sad to me.. the buddies…#anyway uh#something something i was originally thinking of it like. everything that happens still sorta happens just out of order kinda ? maybe ??#i dont really know ….#i still really like the idea though so maybe hopefully i can think of something to jot down#that and i. dont know if blacksteeple would even.. happen ?#like as in akuwa town would be fine and saki val and adam are still there i guess ?#because xen didnt attack goldenwood forrest and the protag never shows up to goldenleaf#oh and the caratos mountain thing never wouldve happened#so they wouldnt really need a reason to keep akuwa town held captive. but idk about the ss oceana passengers#maybe theyre still there… i have no idea how they would escape though#though as a whole earlier i was thinking of it as like a . what if melia never went back in time. kind of thing ?#but thats mostly from the favt that i cant. really think of any way spacea and tiempa could corner her like they do in amethyst cave#idk i think i need to play love lies finally to maybe understand certain things that are making me unable to really think about it#namely those evil androids who are kind of like the whole reason anything and everything bad happened . i think. idk.#the overall timeline of things is whats getting to me#i think i might be overthinking it all though#oops#oh okay maybe i do have some ideas this is more than i thought i had. sorry#im very unsure about everything though! and no idea how id draw any of it!#thank you again for saying you like it though :] maybe ill be able to come up with something randomly in like a couple months or something
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weird-unlimited-ramblings · 2 years ago
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I feel like what hurts me most about Sparrow being all “I’m not proud of you” isn’t that he said it, cause I could already kinda guess that from the first scene.
It’s just that normal doesn’t seem to have had any inclination of it prior. Like, to him that’s just his dad being his dad. Not his dad trying to nudge him into being more normal.
And that’s exactly why Normal believes his dad hates him (at least in my mind). Cause as humans we are built to remember the bad as a way of survival, and normal probably can only think about the times he’s seen his dad cringe and how he’s so stupid for just thinking his dad was worried (even if he was worried and not in fact cringing.) like every memory gets corrupted with this new realization. When Teeny won the mascot contest was your dad actually smiling at how happy you were or was he just avoiding a scene, Did he actually enjoy watching those anime movies with you and hero when you were little or are you misremembering, was your uncle trying to warn you that you shouldn’t trust when your dad says he loves you, and so on and so on.
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thatsgonnaleaveamark · 9 months ago
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whyy are concerts so expensive and not close to me ಠ╭╮ಠ
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littledesertfox · 3 months ago
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Kinda thinking about whether I should post some of my art on here should I find the time to draw again ... on one hand I think it'd be nice to share it, but on the other hand I'm worried that somehow, people who know me from my regular account will stumble across this one and recognise my art style, and I'll be called out/cancelled because they probably won't understand this community🤐
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quatregats · 10 months ago
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Have been contemplating creating so many Hornblower things in which playing cards are a narrative device/motif that I forgot that CS Forester didn't actually ever do that with them
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morningmask27 · 4 months ago
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Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime
#morningtalks#Ask to tag#<- I have no clue what I'd have to tag this tbh#But for the story.#Me and my friend (crush) are walking at two am after quite the night. I am fully sober but she's got a few drinks and is just tired now#Like we're walking in silence she's just done type of tired#(part of me worries I was too in love with her tonight but I will do my best to rationalize it as Her Being Tired and not my fault somehow)#But yeah we're walking there and we see/hear a bunch of guys that are clearly not on their first drink#They plan to go to the bar we were so I'm glad we left but they are full on far right singing slogans about getting the leftists out#We cross each other on the street and they immediately begin asking us if we're lefties but then they see my pins#And the fact that we're two girls walking alone and assume we're both lesbians#Ify I obviously am. I have Pins lmao but my crush is not (?)#But yeah I had heard their slogans from afar and had already grabbed my scissors discretely in case something happened#I was genuinely just getting myself ready to fight them all just to leave my friend a chance to run if possible#But I was genuinely scared for her (and also for me but I have a bad habit of prioritizing others' wellbeing and especially here)#So they think we're lesbians and immediately start yelling they don't like lesbians and some other hurtful stuff#But it didn't fully enter my brain. I genuinely don't care#But I was still very afraid they DO something#Luckily they just walked away and we were left in peace but I was genuinely ready to do literally anything to not let my friend get hurt#By these men#I might see her a bit tomorrow. Probably not a lot but we'll see each other#And she doesn't seem to mind too much (she thought we'd see each other next week for class obviously and said “til next week”#(translated quite literally))#I thanked her for the evening still but I genuinely think she just needs to sleep and I don't have to overthink everything that happened#In the end#The first hours of the night were AMAZING though. Genuinely never been closer to her than there I adored every second of it#(and the other people were fun too but. She. Yano)#Anyways I have a thing at 11 I'll go sleep before being fully dead for that thing#But I might genuinely have a delayed reaction on those last events tomorrow#But now I gotta sleep too
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cosmogyros · 1 month ago
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#i think getting nearly firecracker-bombed the other evening affected me more than i realized at the time#because this has been by far the worst new year's ever for me#in the past i was never more than mildly annoyed by it and even enjoyed the midnight fireworks climax#but i think i might have actually gotten a bit traumatized by that experience two days ago#and hadn't acknowledged it to myself / processed it. as today/tonight has demonstrated#it's past 3 a.m. now and i'm still crying too hard to sleep#and my whole body has been shaky for the past... 10 hours. or so.#even though the fireworks at midnight weren't really that bad at all#not even close to being as terrifying as the three explosions earlier this evening#which in their turn were easily outdone by the street explosion on saturday night that deafened me#i think i may be having a legit delayed trauma response to that now#re-triggered every time a firework goes off near me#i've never been someone who feels much fear#i feel stress and anger and discomfort and i worry and overthink sometimes#i've done a lot of things in my life while thinking 'well. this might be about to kill me. but we all die someday'#and never till this weekend did i feel terror on this level#(a technically unjustified terror too. bc inside my flat i'm almost 100% safe. so that again suggests a trauma response)#i don't think i've ever cried from sheer fear for my safety before#and every post i see saying 'happy new year' makes me feel sick bc it reminds me of this horrible weekend#it's wild how my lifelong feelings about fireworks could change so completely in the course of just three days#for the first time in my life i feel the need for one of those drugs that blunts your emotions and helps relax you#what is that... xanax or something like that? how do you get it? do you need a prescription?#i feel like a doctor would just scoff if i told them that NYE fireworks traumatized me so bad i need medication now#i've been trembling for hours. i'm so tired. i wish i could sleep#*three days ago
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evilmagician430 · 2 years ago
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picking him up by the scruff of his neck like a kitten cat.
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sparklyseblos · 1 year ago
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i swear tumblr drafts are like my best friend i have SO MANY drafts, i literally just rant there or have posts i haven’t posted for whatever reason
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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i shld sleep oh my god
#🌙.rambles#i am somehow not rlly sleepy despite barely having sleep but my head does ache slightly. but just a few more stuff left in this week n#i'll properly rest for a bit ! bcs next week even though we're gna have a break ofc there's like.. prom n then that vacation right after T_#gna be fun but i'm. definitely gna be rlly tired. n.. nah i need to stop overthinking abt sm stuff#just. anxious that i might end up being too shy. usually in social events like that i realize i#end up pushing myself a bit too much n then it ends w me just putting on a strong facade#i'm worried too i think bcs two of my friends haven't.. reconciled yet? so. yeah it is possible i may have to deal w some stuff during prom#fuck. i'm just. worried abt a lot of things in general. but i'm mostly overthinking it. everything.#sigh in general i'm being too harsh on myself again. wtf maybe it's the sleep-deprivation or smth bcs ik i'll manage it all#i believe in myself n know i'm capable but. it's just.. overwhelming rn i think. n it. hurts bcs it's like before in a way..? n like my wol#i wonder. what we'd all do if we were hypothetically given the chance to be able to do whatever we wanted in a day n have whatever we want#without changing the reality we have now or yeah no consequences at all. just a lil day in an alternate world we could control#if you were to choose for yourself n only for yourself what would you do?#sob ig i relate w rinoa too bcs of that strong facade part. i wrote that for my wol too#but like even w all that in the end uh. every time i read these sort of stuff it comforts me deep down#bcs i remember back then when i rlly just had my family#that.. loneliness. i write abt it a lot huh. not that i'm exactly seeking for something. maybe before bcs i didn't talk w my friends anymor#but now i suppose it's just something painfully constant. but not really too#i can't.. put it into words rn n i'm low on sleep. but i rmb just daydreaming to myself back then of my wol's development though#from heavensward.. sorta hiding herself n having to be strong for others. though she so desperately just wants to let her guard down#n be free yk. a break from all her responsibilities n rest.. she's young after all. but while i do relate with that it's still#yk particularly w the context of my wol being yeah the warrior of light in ffxiv. but. i rmb writing of how then that was being strong for#her. n.. yeah she was healing from stuff then. that's hw. but in stormblood ooh i wrote here that she put her emotions to the side#bottled them. became more serious n i tied that w being a samurai main back in stb w duty stuff help this connects well but it's funny#hesitant in heavensward to trying to do things more on her own in stormblood to.. accepting it all in shadowbringers#shy/quiet was more in hw while being serious/calm was in stb. raghhh i rmb my notes well in 2021 but i'm so afraid to look at like#the stuff i wrote last year 💀 but. oh my this is embarrassing but i do like how i even just dump my thoughts. it's bittersweetly beautiful#maybe i'm trying to accept everything at once or yk putting too much pressure on myself to improve holistically.#like.. i want to write before i grow older than my fav charas yk? n then just think of lots of stuff too n.#be productive. study. n idk just more more more in general but i could be less harsh on myself. yeah
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leafwateraddict · 1 year ago
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Ive been losing my mind over this for the past thirsty minutes
1. Yes they have to fight, 2. Tell me who’s fighting who in the tags! (I’ll add the most ridiculous combos in a reblog)
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