#i think i did something shitty or annoying before tho

[aromanticannibal]

im rereading old discord dms and tell me why i completely forgot i apparently got dogpiled in a server once??

[poppy-metal]

poppyyyyy i’m gonna cry not the thing i sent you being turned into an au and i have no more ideas for it 😭😭 this is hell. all i have to offer is this ( https://pin.it/4XElozLiD ) is nepo brats wedding dress in my head and it was one of those ones that’s shot by vogue and like sponsored by harry winston and they have a breakfast at tiffany’s themed rehearsal dinner like just a massive networking event essentially that she only agreed to bc she REALLY wanted artashi to see and react and bust down her door to beg for her back. also love the idea of a shitty marriage, i imagine it’s like when blair got married in gossip girl and she thought everything was perfect (on the outside at least) and then when they had their first dance he essentially was like “play your fucking part and this will be so much easier for you” and she was like oooooh shit what did i do 😐 called tashi in tears and she charters her a plane and lets her stay at their penthouse for a few days…..i wanna sit on their couch in a big gown with tears streaming down my face and have them take care of me even tho they’re pissed :( doesn’t mean they wanna see me hurt this badly :( need to try to apologize through sobs and have art say we’ll talk about this in the morning as tashi brushes hair off my forehead and pauses like she’s gonna kiss it :(

OR you could have her freeze up after he pops her little perfect marriage delusion and have her go along with it for months, maybe there’s a fan account that follows your every move that tashi checks daily on a burner. she notices the dwindling amount of times you’re seen with friends, essentially the only time you’re seen now is with that man by your side. over the months your personality snuffs out entirely, looking to him before you speak, smiling along to whatever he says. people make jokes about how your PR team finally broke you. one day art is standing in the corner of their living room, face twisted up, doesn’t look up when tashi makes an inquisitive sound. walks over to her and turns his phone around to show her a photo of you walking hand in hand with your husband into a restaurant, faint bruises up your arm, hair covering your eye intentionally. she stares at the phone with no reaction. finishes getting ready to go, says she forgot something as they get in their car and runs upstairs and barely makes it to the bathroom before she throws up. you’ve changed assistants by now but she finds their information within the hour, loosely threatens them with telling her where you’ll be for the rest of the day, rolls her eyes hard when she hears a “they” instead of “you”. doesn’t change anything she has planned. she makes a call to her legal team after hanging up with your assistant because there’s no way your husband will let you out of this without a fight, one that she’s prepared to hold your hand through the entire way. she shoots her husband a text and lets him know to get the guest bedroom ready.

AUR.

i think..... both can happen. you run to tashi as soon as the wedding is over - still in your dress, though its ripped in places - show up on her doorstep because you know the code to the gate - shivering in the cold and when the door opens tashi is looks so soft. like she'd just gotten ready for bed. hair a little damp and curling at the ends. a pale peach robe tied around her waist. she's beautiful.

she doesn't look happy to see you. "what are you doing here?" said so coldly. like you're not welcome. and why would you be? its so different to face her anger through miles and miles of distance. all you've wanted for months was for her to just - notice you. give you attention. you'd even say sorry, take the blame, take every word back, if she'd asked. but she's looking at you like you're an annoying reporter. a nuisance shown up at her door.

you break down in tears. full body sobs that have you kneeling at her door, at her feet, head in your hands as you shake with all your bottled up emotions. "i messed up." you choke - "i - i - i - its all wrong - tashi - "

you can't speak through your tears, heaving through wet flem in your throat. she'd have every right to toss you out. you wondered how pitiful you looked right now, crumpled like this. still in your wedding dress. your new husband probably buried in some other woman for the night. he wouldn't miss you. you didn't want to go to your new home with him.

you feel warmth at your elbows. tashi's hands, cupping you. "come on." her tone isn't warm, but its lost its chill. she tugs you up. "come in - you'll get fucking pneumonia out here."

she brings you in - one hand at the small of your back to guide you. you sniffle. look around. her home still looks the same. familiar. you're brought to their big expansive kitchen - where art had been scrolling through his phone in sweats and a simple cotton shirt - finishing off a bowl of fruit - when you come into view his fork pauses in the bowl. his expression is completely unreadable. but its not very welcoming.

he looks at tashi, dismissing you. you try not to flinch.

"what's this about?"

tashi leaves you at the kitchen island to open the fridge. she fishes out a bottle of water and brings it over to you. "drink this." she tells you. to art she simply shrugs. "dont know." and she looks at you. "what's this about?"

you struggle to open the bottle. your hands trembling. after a few failed attempts art rolls his eyes, yanks the water from you and opens it with one twist of his wrist around the cap. quick and easy. he slides it back over to you and looks at you blankly.

under both their stares you feel the weight of all the months between you. all the shit you talked about them on social media. the things you'd said.... your bottom lip wobbles. eyes filling with tears. "im sorry." you say, softly. you cant think of what else to say. "im - im sorry for coming - i- ill go."

tashi reaches out. you're startled by how strong her grip is on your arm. her nails almost dig into your flesh. you welcome the sting. a show of emotion. even if its anger. her claws coming out.

"no." she snaps. "you dont get to show up here after the shitshow you've made of this year - in your fucking wedding dress - sniveling like some sort of damsel at our home and then just leave." she points to a stool. "sit. explain why you came."

her tone leaves no room for argument. you find your ass in the stool before you even realize you'd made the conscious decision to move there. like a doll on her strings. it'd always been easy to take her orders.

you try to explain but you're pitiful at it. you keep crying when you bring up your husband - the way he'd treated you. how trapped you feel. how you came here because - despite everything, this was your safe space - you'd never seen it any differently. and you knew, no matter what, tashi would answer the door when she saw it was you on the other side.

they're quiet after that. art works his jaw like hes rolling thoughts around in his head, but his distrust is obvious. you know if he'd been the one to see you at the door, he'd have never answered. that knowledge hurts deeply - to know he's completely detached himself from you. that you'd lost him. his care and his love.

you wondered if you'd be thrown out regardless but tashi rubs at her temple. suddenly looking very worn out and tired. "this is a fucking mess." she says and your stomach twists. you were always complicating things for them. being a burden. she drops her hand. looks down at you like you're a puzzle with a few pieces missing.

you guys are the missing piece, you think.

"you can stay the night." she finally settles on, shares a look with art who looks like he wants to say something about that but she silences him. "we'll talk more about this in the morning. you need..... you need to get out of that god awful dress. and too sleep."

art watches tashi guide you to their guest room with a frown. he doesn't like this. tashi is such a strong front on the outside, but she was alot more vulnerable than people realized. and you'd really hurt her. you'd hurt both of them, but arts feelings..... they didn't matter here. at least, not to him. he could shove down the heartbreak and the anger and the betrayal and everything else he felt about you to make room for the world of hurt tashi was going through. he had to be strong for her. and you being here - showing back up - pouring salt in an open wound - god. you were such a selfish fucking brat. always had been. he used to find it endearing. now he just wanted to throttle you.

in the guest room - tashi helps you out of the dress. her knuckles skim down your spine when she unzips you. kneeling down to help you out of your heels. you hiss when she turns your foot - assessing the blisters. "jesus." she huffs. stands and gets you some of her things to wear. a soft tank top and some shorts. arts boxers, actually. you flush when you put them on, under tashi's watchful gaze. she points to the bed when you're done, a silent command.

you sink down onto the comforter. bite your lip when she comes back into the room with a jar of ointment for your feet. "here -" she sits next to you, and a waft of her scent hits your nose. sophisticated and clean. she props your foot on her lap as she gently rubs the cream into the abused skin. you swallow, as you watch her. this gentleness. you'd missed it.

all your life you'd been 'taken care of' but only in the most clinical of ways. you had all the money you could want, maids to pamper you if you wanted, but it was nothing compared to being...... treated like a human. being cared for by someone who actually cares about you intimately.

"stop doing that." tashi says. she doesn't look up from her work.

"doing what?"

"looking at me like that." she tells you. she finishes and cups the lid back on the jar, and she looks at you. brown eyes.... sad. "we're not - " she breathes. shakes her head. "you can't look at me like that."

you scoot closer to her on the bed. she doesn't move away. "its the way I've always looked at you." you tell her.

she glances at you. glances down where your - her - shirt has slipped off your shoulder and its bare. so close to her mouth. she'd pressed alot of kisses there. left alot of marks.

"things have changed." she tells you. "you know that - you're responsible for it."

you place a hand on her thigh, just under her robe. lean in. "i know and im sorry." you slip to the floor then, on your knees before her. "i didn't mean any of it." you tell her, looking up at her. "i miss you, tashi. i miss art. i miss - us. i - i want you back."

tashi looks down at you. her hand comes out and she catches a strand of your hair between her fingers. rubs it. "you're married."

"I'll leave him."

her eyebrows jump. "you've been a very bad girl to me and my husband."

the way she says it.... bad girl. familiar warmth pools between your legs.

"i know." you whisper. "and im sorry." you lean more forward, and her legs slide open - her robe inching up her thighs. she watches you. heat in her eyes. she still wants you. yes. "let me make it up to you - to you both - i will - you know i can."

she studies you for some time. then she parts her legs wider. "show me, then. show me how sorry you are."

you dont have to be told twice - ducking your head down - diving between her soft thighs - you moan when you discover she's not wearing any panties. your mouth finding her pussy already wet and slick.

more wet than usual - but when you pull back - her hand comes down - tangles in your hair to keep you pressed against her bare cunt. you look up and meet her eyes as you allow your tongue to investigate - "that's it." she purrs. "you know what to do with that tongue -"

you gasp when you part her folds - a warm flood of salty fluid pouring into your mouth. a zap goes through your body at the realization.

arts cum.

she sees you realize it and bites her bottom lip. rocks herself into your face. "he's been so pent up lately." she tells you, hooks one of her long legs over your shoulder. "and its your fault - so -"

her nails dig into your scalp - "clean it up."

you do. whimpering into her pussy as you tongue the remaints of her husbands cum, scooping it into your mouth and swallowing greedily. you missed his taste so much. you wish he was here, pushing you into her pussy. slipping a hand down your shorts to pet through your wet slit. he'd make you eat every last drop before he sank a finger inside.

when everything is gone, tashi adjusts her grip. using you now. rubbing her clit against your nose and working her hips against your mouth exactly how she likes it. "fuck." she pants. she looks down at you and both her hands cup your cheeks. her thumbs rub into the skin. "pretty girl -" she breathes, and you whine, "this is what - fuck - what your mouth should be doing - instead of running off online -"

her grip turns vicious - her movements more forceful. properly fucking your face with her pussy. you just lay your tongue out and take it.

"you're such a goddamm brat." she hisses and her clit pulses as she starts to cum. "but - god, i missed you. yes -"

you lap up everything she gives you. eagerly. her hands carding through your hair as she comes down. she sits up, detaching your lips from between her legs and you look at eachother, lost in a moment together.

her fingers trace your wet mouth. and you part your lips for her instantly. looking up at her like shes a goddess - because she is. she strokes across your tongue with her fingers. your eyes flutter as you start to suck around the digits. mouth blessedly full. you bob your head up and down them, taking her past the knuckle.

your teeth catch on her wedding band and her breath hitches when you swirl your tongue around it. her mouth parted in wonder - like she cant believe you're really here again.

this is where you should be. always. at either her or arts feet. taking some part of them inside you. its what you're meant for. not money and wealth and jewelry but this. this, this, this.

tashi pulls her fingers back suddenly. her ring clicks against the back of your teeth.

her face shudders. closes off.

"that -" she licks her lips. "that shouldn't have happened." she stands, and you fall back on your ass. look up at her dumbfounded.

"tashi -"

"a mistake." she retightens the sash around her waist. rubs a hand down her face. looks down at you. winces. "don't cry."

but how can you not?

"but we just.... you said -"

"do you really think head is enough of an apology?" she tells you, and that tone is back. the cold one. she crosses her arms. "god, you've dragged my name through the mud. the damage you've done to arts career - we had to take a break, did you know that? he missed matches that could have changed his life. all of that, on hold, because you decided to throw a tantrum because what -" she laughs. "- you couldn't handle a break up? grow up."

she shakes her head. lips pressed tightly together. she cant look at you. if she sees your watery eyes she'll fold again. take you into her arms and forgert the past year entirely. fall back into bed with you and make you cum over and over until you were nothing but the shaking mess she missed seeing. god, she'd just cheated on art. fantastic.

"I'll help you get a divorce if thats what you want." she tells you, already walking away. "but after that? we're done. for good, this time."

the click of the door sounds like a bullet in your ears. you stay kneeled on the floor for a long, long time.

and the next morning - when tashi goes to wake you up. she finds the room empty but a note left on the bed. she almost doesn't want to read it. art is in the kitchen - making breakfast for four. because as mad as he pretends to be for her sake, he still thinks about you. cares about you. misses you as much as she does. it'll break him to learn about what she'd let happen - but only because he didn't get a chance to feel you one last time himself.

tashi was really the selfish one.

she picked up the note. read it.

i want you to know meeting you in that coffee shop was the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm a spoiled rotten brat, i know. but you taught me to be more. you let me into your life. gave me another person to love in art, and you both took care of me and treated me better than i deserved. im truly sorry for how things ended. and im sorry for how i acted after. i was hurt. i thought you didn't care about me. that maybe you never did. and i lashed out. im sorry. im taking back all my statements in an interview next week. i hope it can restore some of the damage I've done to you and art. you're two of the most wonderful people I've ever met. and im lucky to have fallen in love with both of you. im not divorcing my husband. i think maybe i can try to make it work. you dont need to worry about me, either of you, you've done enough of that. I'll be fine. love - your tinkerbell.

the note flutters to the ground limply. art calls that breakfast is ready.

tashi isn't hungry.

[fasolabean]

warninggg this is a long one ,,,

(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)

So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).

But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?

Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah

I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.

But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.

Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???

Idk man. I really try to  make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.

Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??

TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(

[freakinator]

funny thing about how i view the conflict in todays stream is that i view flame and wemmbu in very separate ways despite them doing essentially the same thing

in flames case:

i view his betrayal as ultimately a tragedy, their history all thrown aside due to a combination of wounded pride and genuine upset

if yall didnt see his chat for this stream it was actually really, really bad, like his chat is genuinely so fucking annoying oh my god and is a really good demonstration of why i think streamers should be mean to their chatters sometimes to so i actually wasnt at all surprised that he was so upset but i thought hed log off instead of acting out like this

he wanted respect but literally ruined the months long work of one of the few ppl that were willing to trust him over something that couldve been resolved if he just waited until september, but at the same time i can kinda understand why he was being so impulsive considering again his chat is Really bad, but at the end of the day that really shouldnt have been something you took out on one of your few allies like???? bruh even mocked zams storytelling as if he didnt do thee same shit as well 😭

honestly one of the reasons i was sad about his betrayal is cause it kinda sounded to me like he was genuinely about to cry at first??? maybe im just making shit up tho and he def stopped sounding like he was gonna cry after blowing up the spacewaffles tower lol

in wemmbus case:

i feel no pity for this man, he wanted conflict wherever he can get it and he got it! i think hes a lot like zam in that he just wants some attention and most importantly something to do but whatever happens to him next is his own fault lmao, i respect his honesty tho like hey he sucks but he knows what hes about at least lol

the fact that he still kept trying to get a commission from zam (or at least guilttripping him about it for lack of a better word) like bro i know you wanted to do a capitalism morality dilemma arc with zam but read the room my guy 😭

maybe hes at least a little mad that zam kept turning him away despite the fact he accepted a commission from mapicc of all ppl but like. bro. theres a reason zam called him a nightmare customer lmao

that being said you can tell hes not used to going this overboard considering he offered to help repair the tree when zam got upset lmao

idk i just thought his evilness was kinda funny, still hope he gets his shit kicked in spectacularly tho!

its funny, despite being acting like the shitty no reading comprehension version of abyss he gives me the exact same feeling of schadenfreude i did for minute back in s5 and i believe part of it is his mockery of lore and weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict particularly regarding zam

by weird complicated dismissal of moral conflict i mean both he and minute both tried to convince zam to see ''their side'' and ''reason'' but coming at it from an angle that completely misunderstands zam and when zam points it out they dismiss it and act like it means nothing because of their ''objective'' view of reality, spoiler alert! its not objective at all and they refuse to understand things from zams perspective cause they think hes just being unreasonable or something

idk overall i think their motivations for doing things are just kinda... shit lol

like ik theres some pretty obvious parallels that can be made with s5 here but the difference between the og players and flamebu aside from the lack of style and drama is that the og players waited several months before they started acting out the way they did and when they did start acting out tgey always made sure evryone who wanted to get involved Actually got involved rather than doing it while everyone was away plus their opps werent their own allies (except maybe pangi depending on how you look at it)

[artsy-waffle19]

Rating dynamics between characters in Dead Boy Detectives that never actually interacted that much or at all, for absolutely no reason.

- Starting off with probably the most reasonable as number one: Charles and Monty.

I absolutely adored the quiet bitchiness between these two. Not a word was said and everyone could see they can't stand each other now make them solve a case together. Bonus points if they actually bond over shitty parents or the fact that they're basically different flavours of the same person. Solid pairing I give it a 7/10 and I would love to see more of them in s2.

- Up next we got number two: Jenny and The Cat King.

I genuinely don't know why everyone is sleeping on this pairing, this is a comedic goldmine and i will not take any criticism on it. I mean...goth & slut is such a funny concept for a duo and I REALLY want the two of them to be forced into solving some kind of minor case. If we want to ramp up the chaotic energy we should absolutely add Maxine into the mix (bonus points if she's a ghost and becomes besties with CK) 9/10 i love it.

- After the strong one let's go with a chill one for number three: Tragic Mick and the dandelion sprites

Just imagine them, in their silly jar on the counter of the shop and trying to insult him and cussing out his customers. Imagine people entering the shop, trying to buy something and being forced to listen to his tragic backstory while getting roasted for their haircut at the same time. Fun concept but not my fav so I'll give it a 5/10.

- For number four we've got: Edwin and Kashi

I feel like this could actually be an incredibly funny combination. All-time-trauma-olympics-winner and Guy-who-got-swallowed-by-a-giant-fish-and-refuses-to-let-it-traumatise-him. The more thought i put into this, the madder i get that this wasn't actually in the show this could have actually had some super interesting influence on Edwins character development and it's a comedic goldmine. Confident 10/10 would love to see it.

- Next up is number five with: Monty and The Night Nurse

Either they would get along great or one of them would start crying. Generally I think they would be a team that Gets Shit Done and I, for one, would love to see it. All in all it's pretty similar to the Niko and NN dynamic tho so I give it a 7/10.

- Number six iiiiisssss (drumroll pls): Night Nurse and The Cat King

I know both of them were mentioned before but fr this is hilarious. Either he would end up dead or she would quit her job immediately, no inbetween. They don't have much conflict besides annoying each other to the death so there aren't that many possibilities to elaborate on the dynamic but it would have been a funny side dialogue in the show. I give it a 7/10 (bonus points if we throw crystal into the mix, simply because she would enjoy frustrating the shit out of the other two and I need that kind of content in my life).

- Last but not least with number seven, we've got Esther and Maxine

I feel like they would become best friends. They would get along ✨flawlessly✨. Not necessarily because they have much in common but simply because they match each others freak and would feel very validated. Imagine them, having a girls night and gossiping about crazy shit they did due to a relationship gone wrong. Honestly flawless I would have loved seeing Maxine as an evil goon. (Bonus points if she ends up getting a crush on Esther, who thinks it's incredibly entertaining). Can't find any minus point in this so I'll give it a 10/10.

feel free to add ur own to this

[phyrestartr]

Easy Prey (An Underestimation) | Miguel x M!Reader

Brother's BFF Miguel! x Male!Reader W/C: 3.2k

#NSFW, college party, cringe dirty talk, butt plugs, bussy loading, alcohol usage, pot usage, vaping, reader is a little shit, miguel gets got, fluff, it's kinda cute tho, consensual sex, car sex

--

"Who is that?" Miguel asked over the howl of party-goers and blasted music. He held his shitty beer in one hand, and a weird concoction of juice, something and…something suspicious in his other hand. Lyla really knew how to embody college in her get-togethers. 

Sebastian glanced at who Miguel gestured to with the tilt of a chin, and he burst into drunken laughter. 

"Dude. No. Nooo no no, nope. That's–nope," he answered, very helpfully. "Just very no." 

Miguel rolled his eyes as his best friend's girl kissed her man, and stole away Miguel's chance of learning just who the alt weirdo lounging on the couch was. Christ, people in love were so fucking annoying. 

"Why, what's his baggage? Drug dealer? Academic dishonesty?" Miguel took a deep drink from the red solo cup and grimaced. "Fuck, what the hell is in this?" 

Sebastian let his girlfriend kiss his neck as he finally gave Miguel an answer. "That's my little brother, dipshit. You remember (Name)? I've only mentioned him like a thousand billion times." 

"Huh." Miguel sipped his beer this time. 

(Name). 

Yeah. Through the haze of booze and the boom of the bass, Miguel did recognize that name. He didn't know you had such a pretty face, though. 

Seb smacked his friend's shoulder. "He's sooo off-limits, dude, so off-limits." 

Miguel scoffed, brandishing an arrogant smirk on his handsome face. "Says who?" 

"Says me, you fucking whore–you're not going to stick your horse dick in my baby brother, you got that?" And he sounded serious, but Miguel didn't really care much. "Hey, hey, if you fuck him, I'm gonna rip your cock off and shove it up your ass and then light you on fire, Miguel. I'm so fucking serious."

"Baby," Seb's girl cooed, "why don't we go wind down a little, huh? I think you need to lay down and cool off." 

"Yeah, go lay down, Sebby," Miguel chided.

"I–but I–okay, I'm gonna go do a 'lil nappy nap," he started, letting his girl drag him away from his arch nemesis, "but when I come back, you better've not cum in my brother, you hear me, O'hara?" 

"Bye bye, sweet dreams," Miguel called instead of answering. He downed the cursed solo drink as soon as Sebastian was spirited away and made his way over to you. 

Miguel more or less brute forced his spot on the couch next to you, pushing between you and some other guy that was getting too handsy with his prey. The other guy threw half-assed complaints and curses at Miguel, but one simple condescending glance had him backing off. Hah. So weak. 

"Woah, you really just–just made a spot for yourself, hey?" You said, earning his attention back. "Kinda hot. Really hot. You're hot." 

Miguel smirked as he looked you over. He liked the sound of your voice, and the lazy, relaxed gaze you met him with. Normally, he didn't go for the softcore scene type, but the black nails suited you, as did the ring showcasing your septum. 

"Couldn't ignore a damsel in distress," Miguel leaned in to say before he slipped his arm along the back of the couch. "I'm Miguel. Miguel O'hara." 

"Cool. You fuck guys?" You licked your lips and, oh god, was that the gleam of a tongue stud he saw?

Excitement bubbled in Miguel's gut. "Straight to the point, huh? I like that." He finished off his beer and set the can down to focus on you. "I fuck anyone with a pretty face."

"Oh. Wow. Damn." He watched your leisurely fingers touch all up and down his body. The firm pushes and soft pinches were left in the right places, like you'd done this before to other men. Miguel figured he was probably the best specimen you'd ever laid eyes on.

And then you kissed him like it was the most natural thing in the world. Somehow, it did feel natural, like you'd been dating for years and had done this a million times before, but still drowned in the excitement of one another. 

Miguel anchored one hand to your waist while the other freely travelled from your shoulder to your neck to the side of your face. He jolted when your fidgety hand slid down to his clothed cock and gave a hearty squeeze. Damn, you really were straight to the point. 

But the way you kissed was another story--you took your time, licking deep into his mouth and prodding behind every tooth to commit Miguel's mouth to memory. You made the sweetest noises, too, reacting to however Miguel decided to taste along the top of your mouth, how he bit your tongue lightly to stop it from leaving him. It'd been so long since Miguel had a partner like you. 

"Let's take this somewhere else," Miguel whispered into your skin while his hands started to wander to your hips, your waist, your legs. "Unless you're an exhibitionist freak." 

"Woooah, you'd fuck me right here if I wanted? And they say chivalry is dead." Miguel laughed something genuine, only cutting off when you kissed him. "But no, no, I like gettin' messy in privacy." 

"Then let's get messy."

Miguel picked you up and hoisted you over his shoulder. The choked half-laugh, half-squawk you let out earned you a sharp slap on the ass as he stole you away to eat you whole, like a jaguar dragging its kill up into a tree for a little privacy. 

He could navigate Lyla's house easily, expertly dodging the flailing limbs and spilling drinks of party-goers as he searched for somewhere quiet to take his prize. But every room he checked had its own lust-crazed college students busy fucking or about to get things started. 

You piped up from your spot on Miguel's shoulder, though, suggesting the perfect place to fuck: your truck. 

"Pretty big," Miguel commented as you both rushed to fold down the back seats to make more room for playtime. 

"Mmmn, I like big." You slammed the boot closed before shuffling back to him. "Bigger is better." 

Miguel grinned wolfishly before pinning you down. "Glad you understand." 

You helped him pull everything off of you from the waist down before you yanked him back in for another sloppy, drunken kiss. His hands, broad and calloused from years of lifting weights, felt up every inch of exposed skin, from your waist, to your thighs, to the powerful curve of your calves, and back up again. Admittedly, he didn't expect you to be in-shape. You weren't built like your brother, a buff, tall meathead; you were built more like a runner: slim, toned, agile.

"Wait, wait, wait," you gasped when Miguel's kisses started migrating lower and lower. The man looked up at you, brow quirked, impatience tugging down the corner of his mouth. "I wanna–" 

"Nope," Miguel cut in.

"Whaaat? I just–'M not allowed to feel you up–? I wanna see your muscles," you whined.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Don't care."

Miguel ignored your drunken complaints while he focused on getting you prepped and ready for his own satisfaction. Sure, he liked letting his prizes fawn over him, obsess over his muscles and leave feverish touches on his tawny skin, but time was of the essence; who knew when your brother would roll up and ruin things? 

He leaned back up and stuck his fingers into your mouth for a few, rude thrusts before yanking them out and easing your legs open so–oh. 

A twinkling, pink, heart-cut gem winked at him in greeting, and a jolt of excitement went straight to Miguel's straining cock. He swallowed as he watched it flicker and gleam with every little shift of your impatient hips. Part of him wanted to leave it in. But the worse side of him wanted to yank it out, and give it something to hold in. 

"What's this?" He asked, patronizingly as he gave the plug a bit of a tug. "Guess you are a freak, huh?" Miguel asked in a rich, smokey tone. 

But instead of getting embarrassed and shrinking away like he expected, you just wiggled your ass tauntingly. 

"'S a buttplug," you said matter-of-factly. "Wanted to get laid t'night." You reached your mischievous hand down between your legs and drummed two fingers against the crystalline base. "Stuffed lube in first. Makes hookin' up fast 'n easy," you explained as you gripped the heart and started to tease the plug free. Miguel's hand caught your wrist before you could get very far. 

"And people call me a degenerate," he laughed. Miguel pulled your hand away and took over, watching with rapt attention as the silvered metal plug started to emerge. "But you're just…somethin' else." 

You mewled softly and your thighs tensed the slightest bit when the plug slipped out before a generous amount of lube oozed from your emptied hole. Miguel eagerly scooped it up with his fingers and pushed it back inside. Knowing him and his size, he'd need every last drop. 

"People call you a degenerate?" You said through a snorted laugh. "Why? You're like–you're so–" you gasped in the same way a 90's horror final girl would when you caught sight of The Thing being pulled from Miguel's pants, "--b-big. Wow. Big. Can I take a pic?" 

"What? What do you–can you–no, Christ." He sighed as he stroked himself with your slick and didn't waste much time with foreplay or warming up before mounting you again. "Think you might be worse than me after all, you know that?" 

"Probably am." You squirmed a little under his body as he caged you in, his thick arms bracing on either side of your head, and his hard, heavy chest looming above you as he got his massive frame comfortable in the trunk of your truck. It was insane to think that, even with the seats down and nothing in the way, Miguel still almost didn't fit. Part of you kind of thought he might weigh more than the car, too. Hm. 

But finally, finally, Miguel dragged the hot tip of his cock against your soft, pliant entrance before jamming himself inside with a blissed-out sigh. 

"Fuck," he breathed before pulling out the slightest bit and pressing in deeper again, and again, and again, until he bottomed out. His nerves flared when your hand slipped down to your own weeping length and stroked yourself, selfishly chasing your high with no regard for Miguel. 

He scoffed, and bitterly refused to hold back. The pace started off brutal and fast, Miguel using you the same way you were using him. Annoyance fuelled his tempo. He didn't know why your lack of giving a shit aggravated him, but it did. And he didn't like it. 

But when he finally got a breathy, thin gasp out of you, he smirked. 

"Oh? Finally something out of you. Tch." He folded you in half and hiked your legs over his solid shoulders to drill into you harder. Another small sigh fuelled his ego. "You like that, huh? You like being bent up, outta sorts, fucked by a stranger at a party, huh? That get you off?" 

The ladies always crumpled under his heinous words and dirty talking; their expressions warped into something pathetic and embarrassed, they'd make the worst discount pornstar noises, or they'd cum right on the spot. It was a great thing, a beautiful thing, something that Miguel prided himself with quite a bit. 

So why were you shaking with bottled laughter? 

Miguel's eye twitched. "What's so funny?" 

"Y-you just–you talk like you watch too much porn–! I'm just s-saying, man, this is kinda wild." A confusing mix of laughs and gasps punched out of your lungs as your back started to arch. "I-It's making it hard to cum–" 

"Shut up, just shut up–you're making me regret this," Miguel bit out, trying to hasten his pace to finish up and leave you in the dust. "I didn't know you were so fucking annoying." 

You moaned sweetly as he nailed that sweet spot of yours perfectly, before never hitting it again. "Awe, boo hoo, gonna cry 'cause I think your dirty talk's cringe? Life is sooo hard–" you squeaked as he pulled back and out abruptly. Your legs clattered to the ground and you barked out another hyena laugh as Miguel moved to tuck himself away with the most unreal sour expression you'd ever seen. 

"Hey, hey, hey, don't give up," you cooed. "Come on, you know you wanna finish the job. I'm so submissive." 

"I fucking can't with that fucking annoying fucking mouth of yours," Miguel grumbled before spitting bars of Spanish at you. 

Feeling a rush of energy, you tackled him as well as you could in your truck, and managed to wrestle that hulk onto his back. He was glaring at you when you finally managed to straddle him, but in a sort of embarrassed-mad way, not a real pissed off look. Still, you had to test the waters. 

"Off," Miguel said. 

"Woah, woah, woah, I can do the whole dirty talk thing if you want," you bartered. 

"No. Off." 

"Come on," you whined before leaning down to his ear and dropping your voice down into a dripping dark chocolate, "you're such a good boy, Miguel, let me treat you right." 

And with a greedy little wriggle of your hips against his stiffy, Miguel was doomed. 

"Fucking–fine, you little–" but he couldn't finish that thought, not when he suddenly found himself plunged back into your tight heat. 

"Bah, come on," you prodded as you rocked your hips at a selfish, primal pace. "Say it if it gets you off." 

With a mind of their own, Miguel's hips jolted up to meet your downwards momentum, and a near animalistic cry hoarsely tore through your throat. And once again, Miguel couldn't help the jerk of his pelvis grinding up against you–you were proving to be too much. 

"Fuck," you gasped. You stroked yourself again, now faster and with the broken tempo of your chaotic coupling. "You like being dominated? That it? Told what to do 'n then get some praise for being so, so good?" The laugh you let out could only be labelled evil. "Mmmn, that's hot." 

But Miguel couldn't speak, not through his mind blanking bright white every time your bodies crashed together. Even when he tried to speak, only gasps and pathetic moans and pleas slipped out of him, suddenly begging you to fuck him harder, to make him finish, to let him cum inside of you and mark you as taken for the night. Reality felt so far away and numb, even when he knocked his head against the ground as he came.

You felt his nails bite your sides as liquid heat filled in the space where Miguel couldn't reach. Miguel's teeth clenched together with an audible clack as you laughed at him, riding him for all he was worth, using him past the point of over stimulation without a care in the world. 

"Shit," you moaned quietly, then chanted it over and over, breathing faster and harder as you pushed yourself towards the edge. But you were a little shit, so of course you scrambled to push up Miguel's shirt just before you finished, just in time to streak sticky white webs of cum onto those well-defined abs of his. 

Miguel finally caught a break. He held you in a vice grip, not trusting you to behave while you both calmed down and fought to steady your breathing. Your fingers trailed across his stomach and abdomen, tracing the dips and curves of hardwork and dedication, and also smearing trails of your spend on him. 

"I've decided. I hate you. So, so much," Miguel said. He let his eyes fall closed again as he accepted his fate. 

You laughed, more amused and playful than mean and mocking this time, and drummed your fingers against his sticky skin. "Yeah. Fair. Kudos to you for being a good sport, though." You paused for a moment. "Wanna get high?" 

"Yes." 

Shockingly, you were quite good with the aftercare; you took it upon yourself to clean the both of you up with a plethora of wet wipes, paying special attention to the mess you'd made on Miguel's stomach and leaving no trace behind on him. As for yourself, you stuffed the silver plug back into your ass and called it a day, only really needing to clean up any sin that'd escaped your insides. 

You both more or less got dressed, and then you hit the vape. Miguel wasn't a stranger to Mary J, but he didn't often vape. He was used to messy blunts rolled by idiots like your brother, but admittedly, he kind of liked this more. 

"It's not bad," Miguel remarked as he examined the silvery pen. "Lot less…y’know." 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get what you mean." You stretched languidly across Miguel's lap, and plucked the pen from his fingers. You took a deep, lazy drag while your newfound friend exhaled a cloud of vapor. "Smoke works better for hot boxing, though. Blunts do, I mean." 

Miguel hummed, lost in the haze of his thoughts, warmed by the buzzing in the back of his skull and your weight across his lap. His fingertips dipped beneath your clothes, absent-mindedly seeking comfort in the heat of your body in his lap. His broad palm pressed flat against your stomach, and you rested your smaller hand over his. 

"You think the, uh, the chick who owns this place is gonna freak if I crash here?" You asked before crafting a few smoke rings. "'M toootally fucked up. Driving's a no-no." 

"Lyla won't care," Miguel said with a yawn. "She's a witch, but not a psycho bitch." 

"Hah. You know her?" 

"She's basically my sister. Unfortunately." Miguel huffed and shook his head.

"Oh, cool, cool. She's fire. Like her. Really chill, but in, like, a smart way," you rambled. 

"Pretty good way to put it." Miguel smiled. 

"Yeah? Yeah. I'm kinda smart sometimes, too. Not super smart, but, y'know, selectively smart." You nodded and stretched again with a yawn. "That's how I bag hot guys. Like you, I guess. But this was more fun. You're more fun 'n a better sport than most guys I mess with." 

Miguel stared at the foggy windows. Fun. That's what he was thinking, too. He never had the chance to smoke a joint or indulge in aftercare with most of his one night stands, but it's not like he'd gone out of his way to make that happen, either. He'd never really had a partner mock him either, though. You were kinda weird. But in a good, fun way. 

"Yeah. I had fun," Miguel admitted. When his eyes slid back to you, you were grinning, and a sweet dusting of strawberry powder lit up your soft cheeks. Miguel couldn't help his own smile. 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"Oh. Cool, cool." 

"Wanna go out with me?" The question caught Miguel by surprise, too. He didn't really commit to people. He didn't really become exclusive with people. But hey, people changed. 

You fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. "Mmn, what's in it for me?" 

"Bragging rights." Miguel smirked. "You know how many people want me?" 

"Hmm." 

He huffed, now, your skepticism doing a number on his ego. "I–well what do–you'd get dick, big dick, get chauffeured around, I'd pay for dates–" 

"Would you go see a musical with me if I asked?" 

Ah. The ultimate test. 

"...Yes." 

"'Kay. We're gonna go see Grease tomorrow night–uh, tonight. Technically." 

A grin split Miguel's face and ached his cheeks. "Alright." 

You smiled back. "Alright." 

"Just don't tell your brother." 

"Lame."

[s-rosie]

JAVERY HCSSSSSSS #2

hiiii!!! i hope everyone is doing wonderful and taking care if themselves, with that said, i hope you like these!

jameson can rub avery’s stomach in just the right way, it gets rid of her period cramps

they make each other those aesthetic, cute, and meaningful gifts when the other is feeling shitty

they tried that “you need a hug” trend when the boyfriend jumps on the girlfriend’s back, and avery fell over and hit her nose (jameson then felt so bad, he gave her so many cuddles and kisses)

they have onesies that are stitch for jameson and angel for ave

they sing musicals together and assign each other characters to play

i hc that ave has hormone problems, so jamie will help her by holding her hair when she throws up, holding her when she gets dizzy, and giving her cuddles (not me projecting again 💀)

in their room, they have a whole corner filled with cute stuffier

they take long drives sometimes and just talk about life and scream sing their fav songs

jameson once pulled ave into a closet (😏) and oren was going crazy trying to find her because he thought she was kidnapped again (they then had to sit through a 20 minute lecture)

everyone online calls them “america’s favorite couple”

jamie loves going shopping with her and he has good fashion taste, so he will help her find outfits

one time nash told them to get a room, so jameson was like “fine maybe i will” and avery was like “fine by me” as a joke (not really) and nash was mortified

xander once dared them to play 7 minutes in heaven, and it got a bit heated

they went on a trip to nyc, and jameson taught avery how to ice skate at rockefeller rink because i hc he plays hockey

i hc ave is allergic to metal, so jamie covers all of his rings and jewelry with a clear coat so she can hold his hand, and he always makes sure to gets her hypoallergenic jewelry

they are both obsessed with combat boots, especially doc martens

they have spa dates before big events to make sure they look ✨fabulous✨

jamie and avery are the best at just dance, like if they team up against you you know its over for you

after “activities” (😏) jamie will carry her wherever she needs to go until she can walk

ave always takes the blankets and makes herself a burrito in the blankets (jamie acts annoyed but he obviously finds it adorable)

jameson loves olives, but ave hates them (the olive theory)

one time at the beginning of their relationship, she got overwhelmed by jameson touching her so she pulled away, and he felt like he did something wrong. she assured him it was ok and she just got overwhelmed so they made a secret tap that ave can do on jamie’s arm so he knoes to let go and give her space (though, she uses the tap less and less now)

at their wedding, jamie cried seeing avery walk down the isle, causing her to start crying and they met at the alter a bawling mess

they always hype each other up and stand up for each other no matter what

since i think it is pretty much cannon that jameson does nascar at this point, before his races, ave gets really scared that he will get hurt, so she will tell him things like “don’t die” and “if you die, ill kill you” and he just laughs and tells her he will be ok

at any event that either of them do, the other always brings them a gift pertaining to that event

ave is SUPER tickle ish, and jamie will tickle her sometimes until she cant breath (she pretends she hates it, but jamie kbows she loves it)

thank you so muchhhh! i hope you like these as much as i enjoyed making them. please give me some recommendations as to what yo make next. i will be busy for a while, so if i post few and far between, just know that i will be back (tho i will post more then that) so if i dont get to your request right away, just know i will eventually. thank you 😊

[i-trash-about-things]

Eddie's shitty sense of humor strikes again.

A random blurb that came to me after reading some headcannons about Eddie's childish sense of humor

777 words (nice). Suggestive but nothing happens. Reader has hair long enough to tug. GN!Reader and Ed are best friends. Swear word count: 4. English is not my first language! Sorry if something doesn't make sense and feel free to correct me! (Repost because Tumblr flunked the last time I tried posting this)

If you wanna be Eddie Munson’s friend, you’ve gotta learn a few rules. Handle his guitar with care, or else he’ll bash it in the side of your head. If W.A.S.P. is on, you do not skip a single song.

You know all of these, better than anyone with you being his best friend. His partner in crime, the one that always gets him out of trouble– or gets into trouble with him.

But there’s one rule you know better than all of the rest.

Eddie is nothing if not a damn clown.

Loud, potentially annoying, and will crack a joke like he can’t hold it back. Be it an awkward one liner at a funeral, a sarcastic remark in the middle of class or a genuine good joke in the middle of a campaign– His mouth is moving faster than his brain, and all that leaves his lips is absolute tomfoolery.

You know it, your friends know it, all of Hawkins knows it.

And an example of this behavior is that fact he can’t see any one of his friends bending down to fetch whatever fell without pretending to hump against their ass, groaning and moaning so exaggerated you never know if you wanna laugh or cringe.

Shameless.

It is kinda funny when Gareth gets all pissy afterwards, tho.

But, even though you and Eds have been friends for the good part of 4 years now– he never did this to you. Not because he didn’t want to or because it’d be weird, but because he just never had the chance.

You, differently from most people, doesn’t tend to bend down to reach something. You just crouch. Or kneel, when the moment calls for it.

It’s just something you’ve been doing since forever, so you’re more used to it. Mindless, instinct, really.

But the past few weeks, you think Eddie’s been trying to get you to bend down– like he wants to get a completion prize for humping everyone in the Hellfire Club (with the exception of the sheepies, duh). He drops his pick mid practice, asks for you to grab a figurine stacked on the box near the foot of his bed– anything, just to get you to bend over.

So far? No such luck.

But Eddie isn’t anything if not committed to the bit. So, one day, the opportunity shows itself for him and he takes it.

It wasn’t even on purpose, really. He was just getting ready to go out, both of you gathering your coats by the front door of his trailer so you wouldn’t freeze your butts off–

“Oh, hey– wait.” Your hand leaves the sleeve of your hoodie, instead reaching for him to stop moving. Your face is down, eyes on the floor, and he raises an eyebrow. “I think there’s something stuck to your shoe. Hol’ up.”

And before he has the chance to freak out in worry if it’s a spider– you’re kneeling between his feet, tugging on whatever it is stuck to his sneakers.

And, like a match dropped into gasoline, he sees his chance and goes for it.

You don’t have the chance to raise your face before you feel familiar fingers tangling into the front of your hairline, tugging your head up roughly– and Eddie let’s out an exaggerated, throaty groan, half-heartedly moving his hips that are eye level to you.

“Mmph! Oh, fuck yeah, sweetheart, just like that!” He cackles, biting his lip and tilting his head back for that extra effect… But pauses when he doesn’t hear you laughing or groaning in annoyance at his shenanigans.

So he looks back down… And something about the smirk on your face makes his heart skip a beat.

Despite the crude and sexual joke, you don’t look embarrassed in the slightest– much less uncomfortable, which was Eddie’s original fear. No… No, you look amused.

Smug.

There’s something about the way your eyes are halflided, full of mirth as you look up at him from your spot by the floor. The shit eating tilt to your smirk has a shiver running down his spine, and his grip on your hair instinctively loosens. Amused, confident even– even while literally kneeling by his feet.

Jesus H. Christ.

“You’re a dumb ass, Munson, you know that?” You say, the slight tilt to your words hinting at an affectionate tone that has him swallowing the dryness on the back of his throat. He almost doesn’t hear you over the sound of the blood rushing from his head down south.

“I live to entertain.” He hears himself say, and for once he thanks the fact his mouth moves faster than his brain.

[lovelyhan]

HI LOVEEEER

I have a blurb for inflection point 👀👀 SOMETHINT MORE HOLY BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE HAD A SHITTY ASS WEEK!!

Jeonghanio and Seungcheol are just chattin away on their couch and reader comes home hella annoyed bc of work even tho jeonghans like "🤨" and then its just comforting bc reader just drops mega f bombs everywhere to a point where both men are terrified.

ANAGWAYS U DONT HAVE TO RESPOND I JUST HAD A IDEA 🫶🏼🫶🏼 LOVE UEYEYEYE

⟣ when you're having a bad day ⟢ wc: 1.8k words tags: fluff, sooo much fluff, cuddling

All you could think about after this shitshow of a workday is your wonderful cloud couch at home.

Not only does it provide maximum comfort during your...more risqué activities with either or both of your boyfriends, but on days much like this one, you can just sink into the plush cushions and let them swallow you whole. Almost like you're floating on a fluffy cloud—hence, the namesake.

You were mortified when Jeonghan finally spilled just how much money Seungcheol invested into that sofa. It was probably three—no, four times more expensive than the king-sized mattress he'd gotten for the three of you a year ago. Then and there, you realized that your first love has developed quite the eye for home furniture, and decided to make good on his paychecks by purchasing only the best of the best.

But the net worth of your cloud couch isn't the issue here.

When you shut the door behind you, the idle background noise from that sitcom Jeonghan has taken a fancy to these days flits to your ears—somehow easing the tension in your shoulders. He had to stay home because of a fever that's been running since yesterday evening. While that resulted to you having to cover for your boss' responsibilities for the day, you were glad to know he's been resting up just like you insisted all morning.

Jeonghan was particularly stubborn about using up a sick leave because one of the company's more insufferable clients scheduled a meeting with him today—one that apparently can't be pushed back a day since he's flying out of the country tonight.

So, like the outstanding employee and girlfriend you are, you reassured your boss-turned-lover to just relax, and that you and his secretary, Joshua have got it covered.

Besides, you've been in this business with Jeonghan for years. How bad could he possibly be?

"Whoa," Seungcheol pipes up from where he's buried under a fluffy comforter with Jeonghan on the couch. "You look like shit, babe. What happened?"

"Seungcheol," Jeonghan kicks his leg, and you don't miss the nasal quality to his voice. Your lover's miffed expression then morphs into something more hospitable. when he turns to you with a smile. "Hey, sweetheart. How was work? Not too difficult without me?"

You answer their questions by collapsing on the vacant spot right next to Jeonghan, a whine caught in the back of your throat as you buried your face his sweatshirt. He smells like laundry detergent and Salonpas—a far cry from his usual expensive colognes, but it fills you with a sense of quiet satisfaction, knowing you get to see him this vulnerable.

And Jeonghan can also see how vulnerable you are right now.

"He's so..." you trail off for a moment, the words lost on you because of how pissed off you are. "Why are we even considering doing business with such a fucking creep?"

Seungcheol tenses from the other side, rising a little to furrow his brows. "I know I don't usually ask about the specifics, but is this about that new client of yours? Did he do something weird to you? Am I going to have to beat someone up?"

Jeonghan sighs, easing a palm across Seungcheol's thigh over the comforter. "Cheol, calm down. If Mr. Seo has a type, it's definitely not our princess over here."

"What does that even mean?"

You huff before tucking your legs to your chest and shifting your weight into Jeonghan. You know you probably shouldn't be putting too much strain on someone who's sick but you can't help it!

"That weirdo wouldn't stop eye-fucking Joshua during the entire meeting! I bet he was even happy that Hannie wasn't with us today 'cause there was no one else that could tell him off. Joshua isn't exactly the confrontational type either, so..."

Jeonghan presses his lips together before making you rest your head on his shoulder, stroking your hair to placate you somehow. "But you're the confrontational type, right? Why didn't you show that asshole his place, hm? You've seen me do it dozens of times."

"In case you're forgetting, I'm just a regular employee, Hannie." You roll your eyes. "If I talk back to him, he might just have me fired."

"Who gets to hire and fire people in the office again?"

"...You."

"And do you seriously think I would fire my favorite employee?" Jeonghan teases, leaning down to plant a kiss on your nose. "You give the best head underneath my desk, love. What makes you think I'll let you go so easily?"

Your reaction is immediate, and Jeonghan lets out a soft chuckle when you peel yourself away from his embrace to relocate on Seungcheol's side—glaring at your boss as you grab tightly onto the football star's arm.

"Look what you did," Seungcheol laughs before nuzzling your hair affectionately. "As much as I want to know what that feels like, there's a time and place for everything, Han. Don't her feathers look ruffled enough?"

You let out a petulant noise, making a show of tilting your chin up with indignance. "Yeah, Hannie, haven't I gotten enough shit today?"

"Aside from the not-so-discreet Mr. Seo," he starts before getting up to pad over to your side so that you're sandwiched between your two lovers, "what else has gotten our baby so pissed off today?"

You puff out your cheeks, face souring at the mere thought of recalling everything that happened since you walked out of the door to your house today.

Since Jeonghan was sick, you convinced Seungcheol to stay at home to take care of him, despite the latter insisting that he drive you to work. You promised that you could manage, and that you sort of missed commuting to the office anyways.

That's your first mistake because you had no clue that the trains were down today, and you had to stand in a long line at the taxi bay, since none of the city buses pass by any areas near your workplace. You were already running a bit late as is, so you couldn't afford to walk either.

Today, you were an hour late for work when you've never been tardy your entire life (except for that one time your boyfriends tag-teamed you too intensely on a Monday morning, damn these men). In your attempt at apologizing profusely to Joshua—bowing a full ninety degrees and everything—you ended up knocking over his iced americano in the process.

The drink splashed all over an important document Jeonghan's secretary had been going over before your arrival, and that was honestly the first time you saw Joshua look like he wanted to strangle someone in the years you've worked alongside him.

It certainly did not help that you were supposed to meet that creep, Mr. Seo immediately after that altercation. Even if you managed to strike an acceptable deal with him after a few compromises, you could practically hear Joshua silently pleading for god to just kill him with lightning right then and there.

He must've been having just as bad a day as you are.

Your domino effect of misfortune carried over until lunch time when the nearby taco joint got your order mixed up. That happens pretty often though, and on a regular day, you wouldn't have minded, but with how terrible things have gone today, you ended up breaking down in a public bathroom.

As you animatedly recount the day's events, your two boyfriends listen intently. You're completely oblivious to how they slowly and quietly eased you into a more comfortable position on the couch—your back resting against Seungcheol's chest while Jeonghan props your legs on his lap.

"It was just a shitty fucking day," you complain, tears stinging the back of your eyes. You're not sad. You just tear up very easily whenever you're too stressed for your own good. "I hated that Hannie wasn't there. I hated the commute. I hated ruining Joshua's day. And I hate Mr. Seo even if he's bringing us a ridiculous amount of profit in the next few months."

Your rant makes you sound like a kid who got denied the toy she wants at the department store, and you hold your tongue at the realization. Seungcheol shakes his head before grasping your chin with his hand, turning your head so that your eyes would meet.

"Baby, I'm sorry we weren't there for you." He wipes the moisture from your eyes before pressing a long kiss on your lips—one that you immediately melt into. When Seungcheol pulls away, you even find yourself pouting.

"Trust me, I would've filled in Jeonghan's shoes for the day if I knew his absence would take this much of a toll on you," he reassures.

Jeonghan shakes his head at your lover's admission before nuzzling the crook of your neck. "Mmm... I don't know about that, Cheol. You might make the company go under within five minutes of talking to any of our clients."

Seungcheol scowls at him, and you stifle a quiet laugh. Can't argue with that. You and Jeonghan know very well that the way Seungcheol deals with problems is a bit too...aggressive for a corporate setting. He's better off channeling all that frustration in the field.

You jolt a little when Jeonghan circles his arms around your waist, peppering your neck, jaw, and cheeks with kisses that have you laughing at his ridiculousness. He only stops when his face is directly in front of yours, and you can't help the way your heart flutters when his lips curve into a handsome smile.

"Thank you for covering for me today, princess," he breathes, nuzzling your nose with his. "I can't kiss you on the lips 'cause you might get sick, too, but I hope you know how much I love you."

"I don't mind getting your cooties," you tease before leaning closer to kiss the corner of his mouth. "I love you, too, Hannie. But god, I can't imagine how you deal with our clients firsthand. It's one thing to watch you talk to them, but it's another to be the one making the important decisions on the spot."

"And you wonder why I make so much money," he chuckles.

Behind you, Seungcheol taps your thigh to call your attention, and you glance back at him with curious eyes.

"Jeonghan said he wanted to watch a bunch of Land Before Time movies when you got home, but we haven't decided on where to have dinner delivered from yet," he explains, leaning forward to press his lips to your temple. "You got any ideas, beautiful?"

Just like that, the day's stress has gone up in smoke. Though your beloved cloud couch certainly adds a degree of comfort you direly needed, cuddling with your two boyfriends is what ultimately quells your less-than-stellar mood. Even if the stream is lagging a little, and Seungcheol is getting crumbs and grease all over the comforter...

You wouldn't have it any other way.

⟢ end notes: this ended up WAYYY longer than expected. i can't even call it a drabble anymore but bc i've been having a shitty week myself too, i had to channel that all into this lovely request that anon slid into my ask <3 i miss inflection point jeongcheol so much and writing smth fluffy abt them for a change is such a breath of fresh air HEHE i hope more of you send in prompts like this!! i enjoy cooking them up so much~

p.s. check the series masterlist here!

[beanghostprincess]

Usopp: They're probably talking about me. I bet Sanji's telling him about that time I poked him in the eye when trying to kiss him. Ohh God what if my dad is showing him embarrassing baby pictures.

Yasopp: what if I'm too clingy? I want to spend time with him and be next to him all the time, but I don't want to come off as annoying. I'm just scared of being alone.... but also scared of intimacy at the same time.

Sanji: that's normal. Like you want to leave them before they leave you. Before they hurt you, I get that. You can only get burned by people so much you just expect it every time. Deep down you know that they would never hurt you but ........hehehe and it's so funny because you're so scared to love and be loved but you fall in love

Yasopp: fall in love so easily yeah....... Usopp is staring at us. (Waving) Hi usopp :)

Usopp: |_•) °°°{they're talking about me}

They are having the deepest of conversations about how they do not know if they're worthy of Usopp's love and they're extremely concerned he will end up getting tired of them-- Sanji telling him about WCI and opening up and Usopp telling Sanji all of his regrets and that he is so so glad Usopp is not resentful. And they're growing closer but Usopp genuinely thinks they are talking embarrassing things about him.

And then they just-- Spend hours talking only about Usopp and how much they love him and I can imagine both of them smoking and drinking together during the party and,,, When they are done and everyone needs to go to sleep asap (Usopp was too worried to drink tho) Usopp carries a very very drunk Sanji to the Sunny and Usopp asks him "What- Uh- Had fun with my dad?" (<- His ass is extremely anxious).

Sanji just hugs him tight and keeps saying nonsense and stumbling between his words like "Mmmmm he was alright. He is- He is very sad. Did you know your father is very very sad Usopp? He loves you- He loves you a looot. I thought he was a shitty guy but your dad is cool. Also, I love you and your stupid face. You are- You are very stupid. Hey, did you know you are the love of my life mmmmmmmmmmm This is comfy. Your dad has. A shitty family. Did you know that? You didn't. He is. He is just like me. Mm. Because we love you. A lot. You- Gorgeous idiot. I like it in your arms. I want- I want to cook-"

"No, you need to sleep" (<- Trying hard to hold back his laughter and incredibly obvious blush)

"Noooo,,,, But I want- I wanted to cook,,, Let's make. A soufflé."

"You want to make a soufflé now?"

"Your dad said he didn't like-- Sweet stuff, But we like you and- And you are very very very sweet, dear,, So I'm making him a soufflé-"

And this just keeps going until Sanji inevitably falls asleep and Usopp can't sleep because he just processed everything Sanji has said and he really does need to have a conversation with his dad-- But at least they get along, so that's something.

[ilovemason19]

Change. - Mason Mount

pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

summary: You’re about to go out but your boyfriend wants you to change your outfit or you’re simply not going anywhere.

warnings: angst (gets fluffy at the end) mason being a dick&toxic, him calling reader a slut/whore (3times ig), reader taking a pill because of a headache, lmk if i forgot something!

word count: 1,8k

requested: yes

a/n: this is so shitty, enjoy tho :) also feedback is very much appreciated, tysm!

-

Tonight you’d go out with your friends as agreed.

You dressed up nicely in a short, tight, black dress which barely covered your chest meaning your boobs were popping out. You took your jacket from the wardrobe just about to leave you hear a voice from behind you.

“wow. wow. wow. where are you going?” your boyfriend asked.

“i‘m going out i told you yesterday you forgot?” you responded kinda annoyed by his question.

“yea i forgot” he laughed ironically.

“k. i‘m leaving bye!” you shortly responded -already annoyed by him- and opened the door slightly.

“close the door i‘m not done talking yet.” he said angrily.

“what do you want mason? i‘m already running late.”you bragged, rolling your eyes at him while turning around to face him

“i don’t care if you’re running late answer my question.”

you gave him a confused look not knowing which question he was talking about.

“where are you going?” he repeated.

“god.” you sighed “i told i’m going out with the girls maybe first to eat dinner and after that to the club as usual.” you responded in detail not wanting him to question what ‘going out’ meant.

“you spend lots of time in clubs, did you know that?” he said smiling at you

“hm you think so?” you asked to provoke him a bit.

“yeaa” he eyed you up and down not happy with what you’re wearing. “go change your fit.”

“i’m not changing mason.” you laughed, looking him straight in the eyes.

“and i’m not letting you go out like this so go change or you simply won’t go out.” he said looking at his phone now.

“what do you mean like this?” you looked at him waiting for a response.

he looked up from his phone with a serious expression on his face “like a whore.”

your lips parted, mouth open in shock. what did he just call me you think to yourself.

“so go change i’m not telling you again.” he repeated.

“fuck you i’m not changing i don’t care” you said angrily fisting your hands.

“yea alright go out like this, like the slut you are letting every man in the club see your tits.” he said shamelessly without thinking.

“you know what. that’s exaaactly what i’m gonna do'”you gave him a light smile, turning around to open the door again.

“don’t you dare go out like that y/n” his tone serious eyes glued on you.

“oh my god why can’t you just leave me alone” you wanted to start crying not understanding what his actual problem is.

“don‘t make me tell you again.” he spat out thru gritted teeth.

You dropped your bag on the floor rushing past him upstairs to your shared bedroom.

Your boyfriend following you straight away you slam the door shut right in his face. “what is your problem.” he asked opening the door as if he wouldn’t be the problem.

“what my problem is? more like what is your problem mason' you looked at him, tears filling your eyes.

“i just don‘t want my girl to go out like a whore and getting eye-fucked by every single man in the club.” his voice got louder.

“what is wrong with you mason” staring at him with blurry eyes and a hurtful expression on your face.

“change. now.” his last words before walking out and slamming the door.

Your eyes felt heavy due to your tears but you didn‘t want to cry otherwise your make up would be ruined and you were already running late. You swallowed the lump in your throat, facing the ceiling trying to get your tears away.

After coming down and changing into some trousers and a tight long-sleeved shirt -which wasn’t open at all just tight- you went downstairs and saw your boyfriend sitting on the couch.

His gaze moving immediately to the stairs, considering your new outfit. 'now you can leave.' he said looking back to the tv and smiling to himself.

You picked up your bag, putting your jacket on and leaving without saying a word. You‘re more than annoyed by his behavior.

As soon as you got into the car you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket. You thought it was probably just one of your friends asking where the hell you are.

Taking your phone out and seeing nothing other than your boyfriends name on the screen

Rolling your eyes back at his message ‘be home by 1.’

Why does he always has to act like this. You sighed tossing your phone on the passenger seat and drove out the driveway.

-

After the time passed you arrived home again. Of course it wasn’t 1am.. well let’s just say you had way too much fun at the club and completely forgot about the time he told you to be home -as if you were going to listen to him-

Grabbing the keys out of your handbag, you slowly tried to open the door in hope he’s already in bed sleeping, not knowing that you arrived home by 3 and not 1.

You heard the tv as soon as you opened the door, you immediately knew you fucked up. You stepped in and closed the door behind you, hanging your coat in the little wardrobe and putting your shoes in.

“oh look! someone actually found her way home.” your boyfriend said turning around to look at you.

“yea, thought i wouldn’t” you sarcastically smiled at him.

“didn’t i say you should be home by 1?” he asked looking back at the tv.

“well seems like i didn’t carel again giving him a light smile as you walked towards the stairs.

Your boyfriend sighed, getting up and following you upstairs.

“Stop talking to me like that.” he said.

“Why would I?” you replied with a stern expression on your face.

“Why would you? Alright talk to me like this and see where it gets you.' he smiled at you.

“I genuinely don’t understand your problem mason.” you uttered.

“i told you what my problem is y/n” he declared eyes burning thru your soul his look as serious as never.

“guess i can’t go along with that.” you shrugged your shoulders and pouted your lips.

“guess i just have to burn all your clothes then and maybe just hold you hostage?” he said in a mocking tone, shrugging his shoulders as well.

“are you insane mason.” it wasn’t a question more like a statement

“who? me?” he said laughing. “no baby i’m all good but i think you might be” he tried to blame you for his jealousy.

“you can’t be serious right now. you must be joking.” your voice sounds clearly confused not knowing what is wrong with him.

“so why are u late?” he said leaning on the door frame and crossing his arms over his chest.

“cause i felt like coming late.” you responded opening your closet to pick your pyjs

“give me a proper answer y/n. I’m not asking again don’t fucking play with me, I don’t have any nerves for your shitty little games so just answer my question.” his voice got even louder now.

You stayed quite not wanting to keep up with his dumb arguments, in fact you hated this side of him a lot it just makes you never wanna go out with your friends cause you don’t wanna get in any fights with you boyfriend who normally wasn’t like this until it came to going out. He is a very kind and loving boyfriend actually never wanting to hurt you or make you feel sad in any way. But he still managed to hurt your feelings even if that isn’t his intention.

“Answer me.” his voice echoed against the walls.

Tired of arguing you gave up “i don’t know i’m sorry.”

“ohh now you’re sorry? do you actually think a sorry makes up for this?” he stares at you waiting for you to respond

You couldn’t look him in the eyes “mason please i’m fucking tired of you. Every single time i go out you’re like this. Can’t you just leave me alone i’m not even doing anything just because you’re insecure yourself doesn’t mean you can let it out on me.” you said now with a shaky voice.

He knew you were on the verge of tears so he tried to calm down because he didn’t want to make his lovely girlfriend cry.

“look y/n its just i don’t know. I’m afraid.” he said with a soft voice now.

“afraid?” you looked at him your tone confused and your vision blurry

“yea. you look so stunning and sexy every man on planet earth would get on his knees for you.” he said kinda admitting his jealousy.

your gaze softened at his words as you chuckle “mase you know i only love and want you. i don’t care who’s on his knees for me. i love you and no one’s able to change that.”

“i’m sorry for my behavior love” he responded hugging you tightly now, your head on his chest hearing his heartbeat and smelling his perfume which always makes you go nuts.

You looked up at him starring into his brown alluring eyes in which you always get lost. He cupped your face coming closer for a kiss.

“i’m so sorry for acting like this.” eyes locked on yours.

“it’s okay i know it’s not your intention but please change this mason i seriously can’t keep up with your behavior anymore.” you pleaded with puppy eyes.

“i’m working on it sweetheart.” he said kissing your forehead “i’m trying my best.”

“let’s head to bed i’m so tired and my head hurts like hell.” you complained

“had too many drinks?” he laughed.

“no it was your screaming” you said seeing how his smile immediately dropped. He felt so bad for putting you thru this

“i’m sorry babe. wait i’m gonna get you a pill” he ran downstairs to the kitchen.

In this time you undressed yourself, put on your pyjamas and went to bed. Your boyfriend came back with a pill in his left hand and a water bottle in his right.

“here you go.” he handed them to you kissing your forehead.

“thank you masey” you responded taking the pill and resting your head against your pillow.

Your boyfriend tugged you and himself under your shared blanket, showers you with kisses all over your face and neck while cuddling you against him.

“good night beautiful.” he said tugging a strand of your hair behind your ear, kissing your head.

“good night mase” you said back closing your eyes while held you close to his chest and played with your hair.

“i’m never gonna make you feel like this again i promise.” he regretted it so much, he’d never forgive himself for the amount of times he acted like this.

[kitthepurplepotato]

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Bakugou Katsuki’s daily shenanigans!

Chapter one: Bakugo is having a good day. At least until his precious secretary resigns and finds himself in the not-so-caring hands of a “menace” instead. ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~Genre: Mostly Comedy and Slice of Life. BAKUGO X READER. Might contain enemies-to-lovers, fluff and a hint of angst here and there. POV might be alternating between Bakugo, Reader, Kirishima/friends and Storytelling as this will be a series of one shots connecting to each other.

Other ships in the story: Kaminari x Jirou, Deku x Todoroki

Warnings: Swear words, bullying (in a comedic way) and all the typical Bakugo bullsh*t. New warnings on every chapter.

About the Reader: I don’t want to spoil too much as the reader comes to light in the second chapter but she is going to be Bakugo’s new secretary. She is a fierce woman with no filter, who worked as a hero in another country before coming to Japan. More info in the second chapter.

While the story is a Bakugo x Reader story, the story focuses on Bakugo and his shenanigans, so there might be chapters where the reader isn’t around.

About the writer: English is my second language, please be nice if I make a mistake. I probably will.

Feel free to request a topic! Anything can happen in this AU. (I don’t do smut tho)

There will be a taglist on this one as well, so don’t be shy to ask to be added to it!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Teaser:

Wait a fucking minute.

This isn’t a nightmare.

Bakugo must have died and this is his personal Hell. He was pretty sure he saved enough people in his short life of 25 years to make up for his terrible behavior towards people, but seems like it wasn’t enough to get him on a luxury yacht in Heaven.

Mr. Katsuki’s soul has left his body. He didn’t know how to react to this shenanigan.

He still hoped this is a prank; he quickly checked his phone to see the date in case it’s April’s fools today.

But it’s bloody March.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Chapter 1: Bakugo Katsuki and the case of the leaving secretary.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Bakugo Katsuki wakes up to the most ordinary day ever.

The sun is shining through the burnt holes of his ruined curtains, the birds are annoyingly chirpin’ and singin’ by the window, because Katsuki swears all the birds hate him so much they even decide to fly up to the 10th floor on his perfectly clean balcony just to annoy the shit out of him every morning.

From outside perspective, you would think Katsuki is a “little” grumpy today.

But this is really just an ordinary day for him.

Katsuki is never grumpy. It’s just that everyone else around him is an asshole.

What happened to the curtains, you ask?

Well, let’s go back in time a bit.

~ 2 days ago ~

This day was indeed an ordinary day, or may I dare to say, a good day for Mister Katsuki.

It was his last day before his one day off as the Number Two hero.

Not even the annoying sounds of the birds shitting all over his balcony could ruin his mood. Not even the constant buzzing of his phone could make him angry. It did not matter. He has a motherfucking day off tomorrow.

As mister Katsuki opened the door to his own agency which is literally next door to his own home, he made sure to be nice and say hi to the usually buzzing Kirishima, and he made sure not to comment on the lack of clothing he is wearing again. Not this time.

It didn’t take him more than 5 seconds to realize that Kirishima is not buzzing today. Instead, Kirishima looks rather terrified.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Shitty Hair, did you break the coffee machine or what?” He asked. Well, what else can make Kirishima so terrified if not the lack of caffeine in his system? He basically lives on coffee and steak. There isn’t much to this guy, at least in his humble opinion.

“Hanako-chan is waiting for you in the office. She has something to tell you.” Blurted out the redhead, slowly but steadily leaving the office building. He wasn’t subtle about his leave. He fucking fled the scene like a criminal.

If Kirishima’s coward retreating wasn’t enough to make him tremble from fear, the fact that the usually busy building was somehow completely abandoned definitely made his skin crawl.

He’s the fucking boss, Goddammit, he knows this is not normal.

Is Hanako-chan secretly a spy and is this how he dies? By the hands of his beloved secretary who is like a second mom to him even though there is only a few years between them?

Oh, his dear Hanako-chan. Mister Katsuki might be an absolute ass to the whole world but he would die for his adorable secretary. Hanako-chan always knows how to make him calm down after a stressful morning. She brings his favorite tea, gives him a pat on the back and this man is as good as new, ready for the challenges of the day. He thinks she has a calming quirk but Hanako-chan insists she is just “like that”.

You don’t just tame a wild animal with so many issues just by being nice though.

Mister Katsuki thinks Hanako is full of shit.

With that said, Bakugo made his way to his office with sweaty hands. He is ready for everything.

“Katsuki, my darling!” Said the woman, with the usual friendly smile on her face.

Hanako had a really weird phase in the last few months. Her usual preppy clothing was exchanged for baggy sweaters and leggings, she came in to work looking like she just threw up in the outside bin before coming to work, and Katsuki swears she gained some weight as well, which is no problem, obviously, but Hanako wasn’t the type to let herself go this much in such a short time.

The blonde was really confused by the sudden change, especially knowing that Hanako-chan was freshly married to her boyfriend of 10 years.

Was she unhappy? Did he treat her different now that they are married? Is something bothering her? Is it him?

It’s definitely not him. He is an angel. It must be Kirishima. It’s always Kirishima.

“I know I made you worry a lot in these past few months, and I am sorry. We decided to keep this a secret from you until last minute, so you can sleep well. You are really important to me and I’m sorry for keeping secrets from you.”

Katsuki must still be in bed, having a nightmare, he thought. There is no way his one and only Hanako-chan just admitted to such a “crime” as keeping secrets from him. And who is “we”? Who is the other culprit?

Whoever that person is, they are going to die a horrible death by the end of today.

No one fucks with Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.

“With that said, I need to tell you something” She said while looking at her tummy with tearful eyes.

Does she have a stomachache? Is this what this is about? She wants to go home today and rest?

I mean, he might have a short fuse as a boss (and as a person), but making such a drama over a sick leave is a little bit much.

“I am pregnant. And this my last day here with you. I am going on a family leave from tomorrow, Kirishima-kun already has a new secretary ready for you, she’ll be arriving any minute.”

Wait a fucking minute.

This isn’t a nightmare.

Bakugo must have DIED and this is his personal Hell. He was pretty sure he saved enough people in his short life of 25 years to make up for his terrible behavior towards people, but seems like it wasn’t enough to get him on a luxury yacht in Heaven.

Mr. Katsuki’s soul has left his body. He didn’t know how to react to this shenanigan.

He still hoped this is a prank; he quickly checked his phone to see the date in case it’s April’s fools today.

But it’s bloody March.

Maybe If he lays down on the sofa for a nap he’ll wake up in his own bedroom. Yes, this sounds like a plan.

So Katsuki did what he thought is the best in a situation like this; he laid down.

He stayed silent. He wasn’t sure what to say anyway. Should he congratulate her? Or should he just cry and beg her to stay?

Honestly, he really wanted to cry right now and that’s not something he says lightly. Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight never cries. Except when his favorite secretary leaves him for a little snotty brat, apparently.

As the blonde slowly realized he is indeed awake and he is making an absolute fool of himself on this lovely Monday morning, he heard someone snickering around his office door.

As Mister Katsuki turned around to look at the creature who dared to laugh at his misery, his eyes lock with a shaken up Kirishima.

Next to the trembling redhead was… a menace.

“Did this woman just broke the High and Mighty Dynamight?” The menace snickered like the whole office wasn’t looking at her with eyes that screamed “STOP RIGHT NOW IF YOU WANT TO LIVE”.

She was aware of the situation.

Oh, she was absolutely aware.

“I thought I applied for a secretary position? There might be a misunderstanding here, I’m a terrible babysitter.”

Oh boy. Oh boy.

Saying things like that to an already grumpy Dynamight is one thing, but grinning at him while looking into his eyes with zero remorse?

The End Of The World has arrived.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Now let’s go back to our grumpy Katsuki and his burnt curtains.

Needless to say, the poor curtains did nothing to anger the blonde, yet ended up dead on the spot after his “sudden” early finish on that lovely Monday morning.

But those weren’t the only things Katsuki burnt that day; the door knobs, the sofa, the toast he tried to eat after coming home, not even Kirishima’s unbreakable left ear could hold up with Mister Katsuki’s anger.

As Dynamight slowly rises from his bed that suspiciously smells like burnt wood and cotton, he puts on the first thing he can find in the pile of laundry he was supposed to do yesterday and leaves his flat without even looking in the mirror.

Because everyone can fuck themselves today, and tomorrow and for the rest of the future.

Mister Bakugo Katsuki is done with everyone’s shenanigans.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

NEXT: Chapter 2: Meet the Menace.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Thank you guys for reading, I hope you enjoyed this nonsense, haha! The whole style might not make sense yet but with more chapters coming the more you’ll see what I’m trying to do here :D

As I said in the beginning, feel free to tell me your thoughts and requests!

If you have any questions about the series, send me an ask or a comment!

The taglist is open to anyone, so don’t be shy! Have a lovely day! 💜

[lastoneout]

So my neurologist actually did something right for once and gave me some ambien to help me sleep while I'm on the steroid pack since I already have insomnia and steroids make it WAY worse, and I was really excited because this is legit what I've been wanting a doctor to do for like over a year now...but it didn't really help me sleep, at least not as well as the weed does.

I could possibly just need a higher dose(I am known to be very resistant to these sorts of meds, it takes like twice the normal dose of propofol to put me under) or maybe the steroid is just so powerful the meds can't make a dent in it(which I'd believe since I'm really sensitive to steroids and the weed ALSO doesn't help me sleep as well when I'm on them), and also it's really hot and humid right now which makes it hard to sleep in general AND I just got my bc implant put in which is making it hard to sleep since I have to be careful with my left arm and I like NEED to be able to switch what side I sleep on cuz my shitty arthritic joints don't like staying in one position for too long...but this is a bit of a let down ngl. I was really excited to be able to sleep and then maybe use this as proof that I can be trusted with sleep medication and I could finally stop having to spend damn near $100 on weed gummies every month and a half just to Sleep At All but like...hnnnn.....

Idk, when I see my primary I'm going to beg her to send me to a sleep specialist again bcs the weed is NOT sustainable it's already expensive and on top of that I am absolutely building up a tolerance which means I have to take more to sleep and thus spend more money and it's so fucking annoying. I've already made a lot of progress in the trauma department too and that hasn't really helped me sleep better which leads me to believe this is def a result of one of my other medical issues, I def think a sleep specialist is the best bet rn.

The plus side tho is she gave me 15 ambien and I only have three days of the steroids left, and my arm should be healed better in the next couple of days, so I should have a chance to test the ambien without the dual whammy of the arm pain and steroids wrecking my system, and if even that fails well that's a 15 day T break for the weed which honestly I really do need so like there's that.

Also since I have a bunch of new followers quick FAQ/rundown before anyone gives advice:

I have bipolar disorder type II and adhd and severe chronic pain from fibromyalgia, arthritis, and hEDS. The adderall for my adhd isn't the problem, I actually sleep WAY worse without it. I don't drink that many caffeinated beverages and I especially don't drink them basically at all when I'm on steroids so that's not it either. At least a little of my insomnia is due to trauma and not having a dog currently, but I can't adopt another one right now for numerous reasons, and EMDR has helped the trauma nightmares/anxiety let up quite a lot but that hasn't helped me sleep. I can't take CBD it makes my brain feel like I'm hooked up to a car battery. I also can't smoke bcs asthma so unfortunately I am stuck buying edibles which are very expensive. Insomnia isn't on the medical marijuana criteria in my state so I can't even make it cheaper that way. Melatonin does nothing. Benadryl also does nothing. Exercising before bed also does nothing. I can't do yoga(hEDS) or meditate(adhd). Cutting down on screen time before bed doesn't help and I already spend as little time in my bedroom as possible during the day so my brain keeps associating being in there with sleeping. Listening to music/a podcast doesn't help. Sleepy teas and nice baths and all that before bed doesn't help. I have a weighted blanket which does help a little, but sucks bcs it traps heat like a motherfucker, but I'd sleep worse without it so yeah. Also I can't make my house any cooler/less humid because I'm renting and it's old and shitty and doesn't have real air conditioning and the little portable ac unit + dehumidifier is trying but like...it's not enough I'm still hot and sweaty all night.

I am on hydroxyzine and nortryptraline and they don't make me even a little tired. I cannot take SSRIs or SNRIs on account of the bipolar and the fact that I'm just really sensitive to stuff that messes with my serotonin, even when I'm on a mood stabilizer, and the only med that I can stand that does serotonin stuff is the nortryptraline and it's also the only thing that helps my pain so switching it to something else isn't an option. I build up a resistance to seroquel really fast which makes my insomnia infinitely worse in the long run so I don't see the point in taking it. I have tried basically everything my psychiatrist can think to give me outside of narcotics, which led to her straight up telling me to my face she just can't help me before clarifying that apparently narcotics are somehow worse for me than not sleeping so she won't prescribe them even if they might help. I don't snore or wake up gasping for air so I know I don't have COPD or sleep apnea.

Literally the only thing that has ever made sleeping easy is weed(and opioids but those don't help my pain and have so many hoops to jump through so I don't wanna take them anymore), specifically indica with CBN, but it has to have THC in it I've tried pure CBN + CBD gummies and they don't make me tired they just make me feel weird 'cuz of the CBD.

So yeah. I am up shit creek without a paddle and I really quite desperately need to see a sleep specialist. I appreciate advice but like believe me, I've tried just about everything I can think of and none of it helps. I just naturally have really bad insomnia. And it sucks.

[readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure]

Hi!! P, 13 for Billy! Angsty but with a happy ending, please! Thank you!

Here you go, anon. 💕

This one is set while Billy is still a Marine.

P. Fighting/almost breaking up 13. 'What happened to us?'

----------------------------------------------

It all started with a really shit day. One of those days where everything that could go wrong did go wrong and all you wanted to do was to crawl into bed with your boyfriend and have him hold you for a while.

But you couldn’t. Because your boyfriend was thousands of miles away, in a desert somewhere in Afghanistan.

So, when you logged on to your scheduled Skype call, your mood was already dismal.

Usually getting to see Billy in any way you could was enough to brighten your mood, but today the low-quality picture and clunky signal just served as an unwelcome reminder of how he wasn’t there with you.

You needed him, and he wasn’t there. Just like he hadn’t been there all the other days you had needed him over the past several months. And all the months of his last two tours.

You were immensely proud of him for his service and would never ask him to quit the Marines for you… but it was hard being left behind. It was lonely.

In retrospect, you should have sent him an email and rescheduled your Skype call, claiming to be sick or something. But you had thought you could power through. You had thought that Billy would make you feel better.

You had thought wrong.

He had quickly noticed your sour mood, which only made his own mood sour in turn, and soon you found yourself in a heated fight while Skype kept freezing on your angry expressions.

‘Is it too much to want to enjoy this time together?’ said Billy in an angry whisper. He didn’t have the luxury of yelling, something that satisfied your petty side. ‘After all the shit that goes on here, I think I deserve a break and a chance to chat with my girl.’

‘We’re not together, Billy,’ you reminded him. ‘We’re on whole different continents. I love you and I’m proud of you, but you can’t expect me to always be okay with that.’

‘You’ve never had trouble before.’

You let out a bark of disbelieving laughter. ‘I’ve never let you see it before,’ you corrected. ‘I can’t count how many times I have cried myself to sleep because I missed having you next to me. Every Valentine’s Day and birthday and Christmas. Every shitty day that would have been made better with just one hug from you.’

‘That’s not my fault,’ he said through gritted teeth. ‘I had already signed up when we got together. You knew what you were getting into.’

‘So I’m not allowed to miss you?’

‘No.’

You stared at the screen in shock. That had not been the answer you had been expecting.

Billy seemed to realise his mistake straight away, and he groaned as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. ‘That’s not what I… Look, my tour is over in a few weeks. Then none of this will matter.’

‘Unless the tour gets extended like the last one.’

Unless you don’t come home at all, you didn’t say.

‘Then we’ll just have to deal with it,’ he sighed. Something caught his attention and his gaze drifted to above the camera. He let out an annoyed growl and then looked back to the screen. ‘I gotta go. People are waiting to use the computers.’

You nodded, knowing that there was nothing you could do about it. You weren’t going to deny other people the chance to talk to their loved ones just because you and Billy were fighting.

‘I… I’ll see you soon.’

When the call ended, you finally let the tears fall down your cheeks.

----

Billy didn’t get the chance for another Skype call after that, and the only communication you had was emails which were kept short and succinct.

Only a few more weeks to go. I know.

Mission went well. I’m glad.

Got overlooked for the promotion again. I’m sorry.

Frank says hi. Hi Frank.

What happened to us?

That last message went unanswered.

But you would get your answer soon enough you supposed. By some miracle, Billy’s tour hadn’t been extended, and he was probably already on his flight home.

The thought made you equal parts happy and scared. You had missed him so much and couldn’t wait to see his face in person again… but what if this fight was not something you could both get past? What if the next time you saw him was also the last time?

It was those thoughts that had you stress-cleaning, and you were just about done with the kitchen when someone knocked on your front door. You almost ignored them but decided better of it when they knocked again.

‘All right, I’m coming,’ you grumbled as you made your way to the door.

Your annoyance disappeared the second you opened it.

There, on your doorstep, was Billy, dressed in a suit and holding his duffle bag in one hand and flowers in the other.

‘Why didn’t you use your key?’ you asked dumbly before you shook yourself out of it and stepped aside to let him in.

He gave you a small smile as he passed you. You caught a whiff of his cologne as he did, and your mind finally caught up with the fact that he was really there in front of you.

He was home.

Billy put his bag on the floor near the wall and then turned back to hold out the flowers to you.

You took them silently, and then immediately chucked them away as you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you could.

‘I’m so glad you’re okay,’ you cried into his shoulder. You could deal with the fight and the distant emails and the unanswered questions later. Right now, all that mattered was that he had made it home again. ‘I’m so glad you’re home.’

Billy’s arms wrapped around you, making you cry harder. ‘Me too, baby,’ he whispered, and he pressed a kiss to your temple. ‘It’s so good be back for good.’

That had you pulling away, but Billy didn’t let you get very far. He only gave you just enough room to be able to look up at him. ‘For good?’ you asked, hope welling in your chest.

Billy nodded and reached up to wipe the drying tears from your cheeks. ‘I’ve finally got enough saved up to get out. I’ve been emailing the bank, and I think I can get a small loan to set up Anvil at last.’

Anvil had been his dream for a while now, but you hadn’t realised it had been so close.

Your smile could have rivalled the sun at that moment. ‘I’m so proud of you,’ you said.

You wanted nothing more than to kiss him senseless, maybe drag him straight to the bedroom, but the fight still lingered at the back of your mind, telling you that he might not want that.

Something must have shown in your eyes, because Billy suddenly cupped your cheeks and crashed his lips to yours, dispelling every one of your doubts.

You would get past it. You were going to be okay.

You clung to the collar of his shirt like it was a lifeline, even after the kiss ended.

‘I’m not leaving you ever again,’ he said, voice suddenly more serious than you’d ever heard it. ‘No more missed birthdays or holidays.’

You shook your head, feeling silly for the things you’d said all those weeks ago.

‘I’m sor-’

Billy cut off your apology with another kiss, this one less impassioned and more tender.

More loving.

‘Me too,’ he whispered once he had pulled away again. He rested his forehead against yours, and you both closed your eyes, relishing in the fact that you were both together.

You were both still together.

‘You asked what happened to us,’ he said. ‘The way I see it, the only thing that happened is we became stronger than before. Because now we know we can get through anything.’

Tears pricked at your eyes again, but you didn’t let them fall.

You couldn’t agree with him more.

[synthetic-sonata]

i just consumed so much sparklecare content and made an au of my oc pink . say hi to razzle (b) dazzle(d)! he is now everyone elses problem.

more info under da cut

he's very similar to uni in some ways, and that isn't intentional i've had pink for a WHILE. they would b good friends tho. i gave him mega-sads instead of ultra mega-sads ( normalest sentence ) just to differentiate. Bc i do not want ppl to call him a clone of uni they are very much diff people just with the same sort of outward flavor.

speaking of which he probably has more afflictions i just didnt know how to sparklecare-ify having ADHD and probable BPD. nor did i rlly want to make terms for it. likely has a physical affliction as well before coming to the hospital i just didn't know what to give him

he has two prosthetics! one prosthetic arm, one leg. yes, this obviously means those two limbs were removed from him somehow. most people assume and theorize the staff at sparklecare did this during a surgery, but... pink gets very dodgy about this topic and never answers it in a clear way.

due to him being very sociable and easy to get along with he's friends with most patients . sort of like a Hospital Celebrity. he's known and he's cool and he's chill so ppl like him.

also i'm not sure if it matters but the bro and scatterbrained art is pulled from the official website, which is prob obvious

his favorite holidays are palentines day and kissmas and its obvious. loves anything associated with love and that whole aesthetic.

either has the default rainbow armband or the ITP band ( he's usually pretty compliant .. mostly out of fear. he does and will join or help escape attempts sometimes tho )

sleeps a lot. possibly narcolepsy possibly just not that ( like. napping a lot or depression naps or naps bc hes dissociating and or understimulated. )

more traits that fit him that i couldn't fit in da sheet:

creative

he's often found doodling idly or singing and making music in his spare time. he's expressed a desire to become an idol or an actor in his future. ( referencing how canon pink/razz is an idol robot lol )

sleazy/flirtatious

honestly this one is a give or take but it's a trait he eventually has. he definitely flirts with people often and casually. whether or not he actually sleeps around is a give or take though because i can see it either way, but, probably. he has an Allure to him. and he's. hypersexual so i mean yea.

egotistical/self-absorbed

this one isn't super bad, but he hypes himself up a lot and compliments himself casually. it's mostly to make him feel better about himself... but he does sometimes put other people down in order to put him up. it's always jokingly, at least... mostly, but it can become a problem later down the line. it doesn't feel good to be called lesser to someone!

tech-savvy

he's probably edited videos and audio a lot. and is or wanted to be a streamer/youtuber.

outgoing/extroverted

outgoing and affectionate are sort of hand in hand for pink. although, he has a very high social battery.... somehow, and is always around people or talking to him. he's also pretty impulsive.

affectionate

sometimes overly so. he'll even be affectionate or call people nicknames who he really should be at odds with - this includes staff. he's incredibly chill with most of the staff, or at least seems to be... giving them all nicknames and talking with them as if they were casual friends ( they aren't ). or it's to annoy them. it's not really clear with razz, ever.

presumably, this is a bad way of coping with how shitty people treat him by acting as if they're his friends - or something.

sensitive ( if you told razzy you hated him or smth he'd take it super personally but he'd come off as not offended but he'd think about it way too much. surprisingly he doesn't do this with like threats. he's numb to threats almost entirely )

conflict avoidant ( mostly explained in chill but they prob should be separate things there just wasnt enough space lol )

soda/sweets junkie

juvenile

he casually swears a lot and says a lot of sex jokes or things like that. Very casually, once again.

dissociative

his response to anything traumatic is usually just being really zoned out and dissociative after - due to this people think he doesn't really have a proper response to trauma. he does! people just don't think the zoning out counts as one! he has others, but he tries to hide any other trauma response for when he's alone.

fear of hospitals/medical stuff/etc

surprisingly, this didn't happen after being admitted to sparklecare, but it very much didn't help. goes hand in hand with claustrophobia and a lot of other fears he won't admit to. he's gotten numb over time. it still messes with him badly, but that mostly shows in the form of him dissociating... or in rare cases, having a panic attack. he only really shows emotion when he's in very very bad mental health or alone. at the very least he has people to talk to - if he didn't, he'd likely have completely broken by now.

thats a lot of things and i could probably find more to describe him but yea. He should prob also be more saturated n simplified but ehhhhhh. My oc my funny my silly he gets to slightly bend rules cuz he isnt in the comic its fiiine.

( plus its kinda symbolic of how many people in universe would see pink as surprisingly mentally well-adjusted and fine considering the situation he's in, which reflects in him not being 100% saturated. but he is. it just doesn't show outwardly )

[our-queerplatonic-experience]

hii sorry if this is too venty or depressing or whatever but i really need help

ive been in a qpr with my partner nagisa for like 3 months (weve been friends before that for a few years) and i love him so much ive never wanted anyone in my life more than him. but i am deathly afraid of being a bad partner, and i am even more afraid of him leaving me for someone else even though i know thats not realistic.

he asked one of our ex friends if he could complain to them about something in private and for the rest of the day i felt anxious and sick and guilty like i just killed someone. i cut this friend off mainly because i was so jealous and spiteful (didnt say that tho i feel guilty) (also he was a really shitty person and made me really uncomfortable but it was mainly cuz i was jealous)

whenever im not talking to him my brain shouts to me that im ignoring him and im a horrible cold monster who just has him as a battery to feed my sick desires or whatever the hell that thing tells me at night. whenever i talk to him too much my brain shouts that i look desperate and clingy and i am annoying him hes probably sleeping! but it hurts less than feeling cold. so thats why i try to text him as much as possible. it almost feels like a compulsion, that im not actually texting him because i care and im talking to him so i personally dont feel like shit (ok that made me feel awful to type out but Fuck whatever)

i am not a bad person i really love my partner ive never loved anyone more than him hes the only person i really connect with on a deep level anymore and i think we genuinely have some sort of spiritual bond because of how often we share the same emotions and think the same thoughts at the same time. but i dont really believe in spirituality shit so whatever

he actually has the same issue (but seems to have figured it out better than me) with me and my friend, and it actually made me hate myself so much i have stopped talking to that friend because i dont want him to feel any percent of what i do. when he isn’t there to talk to me i feel alone and abandonded and like my arms have been cut off and like im living without a 3rd dimension. i feel like a normal person when im with him. he is the only thing keeping me sane. i would drop all my friends if he wanted me to

whenever im not talking to him i feel like im neglecting a bird in a cage even though i know he doesn’t need me that much

whats funny is that i dont worry about being a bad person in any other aspect of my life i literally do not give a fuck whether im a bad person because i always justify everything i do in my mind and i cant find a single bad thing ive done. other than the intentionally bad shit i did, of course, i did that stuff to kinda.. give myself something to feel bad for and so i dont feel like im fully a perfect person? hard to put into words

so yeah i guess you get the point! i really need some sort of advice. ive told him this but not really the full extent behind it, just the jealousy and vague mentions of the fear of being bad. i am worried that my anxiety of being a bad partner is leading me to be a bad partner

damn... okay i don't know a lot about this but it sounds like you might be developing a codependency. you should definitely communicate all of this to your partner so you can work together to lessen your anxiety. you also should probably go to therapy but i don't know if that is accessible to you right now. i'm sorry i don't have much else to say but hopefully someone in the replies can also help