#i think i am now at peace with him
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#what made you change your stance anon#lmao you guys act like you know what I think or feel#i criticise and say what I feel like I have to say because I have opinions and I don’t like some stuff#i decided to take a huuuuuge step back from fandom#i don’t interact with anyone anymore and I don’t engage with much content#i decided it was better for me to not know#and i saw what being an opinionated person in this fandom means#it means you’ll feel alienated and you’ll get a lot of hate#and quite frankly it’s not what im here for :)#im not trying to appeal no one. the people who know me on here already know my stance and what I stand for#plus I dont hide#you mentioned babygate and I dont think I have changed my approach to it#but i dont think we’re moving forward with that. it’s not going to change or stop or anything#i have to accept that that horrible stuff will stay longer than I will#(one of the last moment of struggle for me was the chickengate iirw and costed me a looong list of block and hate messages)#i think i am now at peace with him#i am healthily recovering and now im doing much better#i really like him and his music#i like going to his shows and I really think he’s genuinely a nice guy#and i think that’s it. i don’t feel safe sharing my opinions on here anymore#only here for fics and personal stuff :)#hope you have a nice day!
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shhhh
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#tortured megumi fr three and a half draws in a row so now he can nap with his bf as a reward#thanks fr always being such a good sport megumi gomennnnnn#it's always a bit jarring going back 2 simple fluffy pieces after weeks of the heavier stuff#bc on one hand it's nice 2 just draw sth cute. but on the other hand i am like what am i supposed 2 Yap abt now!!!#wym they r just cuddling wym there is no Lore#the only thing abt this piece tht digs a bit deeper is th fact tht - unbeknownst 2 me while i ws sketching -#the pose ended up w them in the shape of an anatomically correct heart#patting my subconscious on th back fr that one . itfs heart imagery my beloved#also yuuji Koala itadori the absolute psychopath 100% th type 2 sleep in a hoodie without overheating . poor megumi smh#not only does he have 80kg of Boy practically On him but all th added heavy fabric on top of that#he may look peaceful here but best bet this boy is not getting a full 8 hours#maybe in its own way this too is a hina tortures megumi draws#i think he'll forgive me tho smile. he'll forgive yuuji too
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After telling Home he forgave him and begging him to come back to eat the food Peach made him, the last thing Peach said to Home before Home returned to his body was a plea for Home to come back for Pang.
Home isn't just a sugar daddy.
He is Pang's best friend.
When Home and Pang thought they lost their best friend, these normally loud and theatrical characters became quiet.
Because they are the same.
Which is why Home noticed what was happening with Pang even when her own brother didn't.
People mistake Home and Pang's behavior for silliness and dismiss their contributions, but Home and Pang actually try really hard all the time to fix problems even if their approach is out of the norm.
They are besties and siblings.
And Peach knows that Pang has already lost enough family.
So Peach made one last attempt to get through to Home by reminding him that even if he didn't want to come back for Peach, he had to come back for their little sister.
Pang and Home understand each other without having to speak a word.
They get each other when nobody else does.
And Peach knows that.
So even if the boys were actually upset with each other, they don't want to see Pang upset.
She just wants the best for them.
And they want what's best for her.
Pang has two brothers who love her dearly.
So much, in fact, that they both came back for her.
#peaceful property#I am unwell about this show#it's all I think about#my brain is on two modes: jack and joker and peaceful property#that's it!#everything else is confetti#pang and home are best friends#and the best siblings#home really inherited a sister and a boyfriend thanks to these ghosts#pang isn't just his sister-in-law#she was the final push for him to get back in his body#I need the last four episodes now before I go crazy!
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„Es ist auch interessant beim Fußball, es ist immer noch ein Spiel. Stehste da einmal richtig, machst das Tor. Das sind genau diese Momente. Das Glück muss auf deiner Seite sein, da muss einfach so viel zusammenlaufen. [...] Es gibt auch Momente, wo ich sag, ‚Okay, wär vielleicht zu einem anderen Zeitpunkt besser gewesen.' Wenn ich ein bisschen älter gewesen wär, noch ein bisschen mehr Erfahrung. Aber im Nachgang– im Finale zu sein und zu spielen, ich mein, was gibt's Besseres für einen Fußballer?“
2014 FIFA World Cup Final | Maracanã Stadium | Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, 13 July 2014
Germany 1 – 0 Argentina
Götze 113'
#football#World Cup 2014#Germany nt#Mario Götze#Mario Goetze#POOKIE💕#can't stop thinking about that quotes post (you know the one) where he outlines how much of a not good tournament this was#and how this goal was more curse than blessing esp bc his career went downhill afterwards (and how that's exactly the reason why Benny's#so glad it wasn't on him)#and apart from the fact that he is the cutest in the docu I am so so glad he has made his peace with all of this#I love how he talks about it all now#also LOVE how he attributes most of it to luck and chance and Jogi & co are all like nah that was pure skill❤️#(it's both ofc but damn. a beauty)
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collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#yakuya#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival kuya
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 61
Chapter; Highlights (okay the entire chapter is a highlight)🤣
As requested @mysterylilycheeta I NEED TO SQUEAL IN WYVERN FANGIRL WITH YOU NOW CAUSE OH M GOODNESS THIS CHAPTER ON SO MANY LEVELS I JUST AHAKWIHUHFEJLZXBKEKA
Agony was a song in Lorcan's blood, his bones, his breath.
Every step of the horse, every leap she made over body and debris, sent it ringing afresh. There was no end, no mercy from it. It was all he could do to keep in the saddle, to cling to consciousness.
To keep his arm around Elide.
She had come for him. Had found him, somehow, on this endless battlefield.
His name on her lips had been a summons he could never deny, even when death had held him so gently, nestled beneath all those he'd felled, I, and waited for his last breaths.
And now, charging toward that too-distant keep, so far behind the droves of soldiers and riders racing for the gates, he wondered if these minutes would be his last. Her last.
She had come for him.
Lorcan managed to glance toward the dam on their right. Toward the ruk rider signaling that it was only a matter of minutes until it unleashed hell over the plain.
He didn't know how it had become weakened. Didn't care.
Still Elide kept urging the horse onward, kept them on as straight a path toward the distant keep as possible.
No ruk would come to sweep them up. No, his luck had been spent in surviving this long, in her finding him. His power would do nothing against that water.
The farthest lines of panicked soldiers appeared, and Farasha charged past them.
Elide let out a sob, and he followed the line of her sight.
To the keep gate, still open.
"Faster, Farasha!" She didn't hide the raw terror in her voice, the desperation.
Once the dam broke, it would take less than a minute for the tidal wave to reach them.
She had come for him. She had found him.
The world went quiet. The pain in his body faded into nothing. Into something secondary.
Lorcan slid his other arm around Elide, bringing his mouth close to her ear as he said, "You have to let me go."
Each word was gravelly, his voice strained nearly to the point of uselessness.
Elide didn't shift her focus from the keep ahead. "No."
That gentle quiet flowed around him, clearing the fog of pain and battle. "You have to. You have to, Elide. I'm too heavy-and without my weight, you might make it to the keep in time."
"No." The salt of her tears filled his nose.
Lorcan brushed his mouth over her damp cheek, ignoring the roaring pain in his body. The horse galloped and galloped, as if she might outrace death itself.
"I love you," he whispered in Elide's ear. "I have loved you from the moment you picked up that axe to slay the ilken." Her tears flowed past him in the wind. "And I will be with you ..." His voice broke, but he made himself say the words, the truth in his heart. "I will be with you always."
He was not frightened of what would come for him once he tumbled off the horse. He was not frightened at all, if it meant her reaching the keep.
So Lorcan kissed Elide's cheek again, allowed himself to breathe in her scent one last time. "I love you," he repeated, and began to withdraw his arms from around her waist.
Elide slapped a hand onto his forearm. Dug in her nails, right into his skin, fierce as any ruk.
"No."
There were no tears in her voice. Nothing but solid, unwavering steel.
"No," she said again. The voice of the Lady of Perranth.
Lorcan tried to move his arm, but her grip would not be dislodged.
If he tumbled off the horse, she would go with him.
Together. They would either outrun this or die together.
"Elide-"
But Elide slammed her heels into the horse's sides.
Slammed her heels into the dark flank and screamed, "FLY, FARASHA." She cracked the reins. "FLY, FLY, FLY!"
And gods help her, that horse did.
As if the god that had crafted her filled the mare's lungs with his own breath, Farasha gave a surge of speed.
Faster than the wind. Faster than death.
Farasha cleared the first of the fleeing Darghan cavalry. Passed desperate horses and riders at an all-out gallop for the gates.
Her mighty heart did not falter, even when Lorcan knew it was raging to the point of bursting.
Less than a mile stood between them and the keep.
But a thunderous, groaning crack cleaved the world, echoing off the lake, the mountains.
There was nothing he could do, nothing that brave, unfaltering horse could do, as the dam ruptured.
Rowan made himself stand there, to watch the last moments of the Lady of Perranth and his former commander. It was all he could offer: witnessing their deaths, so he might tell the story to those he encountered. So they would not be forgotten.
The roaring of the oncoming wave became deafening, even from miles away.
Still Elide and Lorcan raced, Farasha passing horse after horse after horse.
Even up here, would they escape the wave's reach? Rowan dared to survey the battlements, to assess if he needed to get the others, needed to get Aelin, to higher ground.
But Aelin was not at his side.
She was not on the battlement at all.
Rowan's heart halted. Simply stopped beating as a ruddy-brown ruk dropped from the skies, spearing for the center of the plain.
Arcas, Borte's ruk. A golden-haired woman dangling from his talons.
Aelin. Aelin was—
Arcas neared the earth, talons splaying.
Aelin hit the ground, rolling, rolling, until she uncoiled to her feet.
Right in the path of that wave.
"Oh gods," Fenrys breathed, seeing her, too.
They all saw her.
The queen on the plain.
The endless wall of water surging for her.
The keep stones began shuddering. Rowan threw out a hand to brace himself, fear like nothing he had known ripping through him as Aelin lifted her arms above her head.
A pillar of fire shot up around her, lifting her hair with it.
The wave roared and roared for her, for the army behind her.
The shaking in the keep was not from the wave.
It was not from that wall of water at all.
Cracks formed in the earth, splintering across it. Spiderwebbing from Aelin.
"The hot springs," Chaol breathed. "The valley floor is full of veins into the earth itself."
Into the burning heart of the world.
The keep shook, more violently this time.
The pillar of fire sucked back into Aelin.
She held out a hand before her, her fist closed.
As if it would halt the wave in its tracks.
He knew then. Either as her mate or carranam, he knew.
"Three months," Rowan breathed.
The others stilled.
"Three months," he said again, his knees wobbling. "She's been making the descent into her power for three months."
Every day she had been with Maeve, bound in iron, she had gone deeper. And she had not tapped too far into that power since they'd freed her because she had kept making the plunge.
To gather up the full might of her magic.
Not for the Lock, not for Erawan.
But for Maeve's death blow.
A few weeks of descent had taken her powers to devastating levels. Three months of it
…
Holy gods. Holy rutting gods.
And when her fire hit the wall of water now towering over her, when they collided —
"GET DOWN!" Rowan bellowed, over the screaming waters. "GET DOWN NOW!"
His companions dropped to the stones, any within earshot doing the same.
Rowan plummeted into his power. Plummeted into it fast and hard, ripping out any remaining shred of magic.
Elide and Lorcan were still too far from the gates. Thousands of soldiers were still too far from the gates as the wave crested above them.
As Aelin opened her hand toward it.
Fire erupted.
Cobalt fire. The raging soul of a flame.
A tidal wave of it.
Taller than the raging waters, it blasted from her, flaring wide.
The wave slammed into it. And where water met a wall of fire, where a thousand years of confinement met three months of it, the world exploded.
Blistering steam, capable of melting flesh from bone, shot across the plain.
With a roar, Rowan threw all that remained of his magic toward the onslaught of steam, a wall of wind that shoved it toward the lake, the mountains.
Still the waters came, breaking against the flames that did not so much as yield an inch.
Maeve's death blow. Spent here, to save the army that might mean Terrasen's salvation. To spare the lives on the plain.
Rowan gritted his teeth, panting against his fraying power. A burnout lurked, deadly close.
The raging wave threw itself over and over and over into the wall of flame.
Rowan didn't see if Elide and Lorcan made it into the keep. If the other soldiers and riders on the plain stopped to gape.
Princess Hasar said, rising beside him, "That power is no blessing."
"Tell that to your soldiers," Fenrys snarled, standing, too.
"I did not mean it that way," Hasar snipped, and awe was indeed stark on her face.
Rowan leaned against the battlements, panting hard as he fought to keep the lethal steam from flowing toward the army. As he cooled and sent it whisking away.
Solid hands slid under his arms, and then Fenrys and Gavriel were there, propping him up between them.
A minute passed. Then another.
The wave began to lower. Still the fire burned.
Rowan's head pounded, his mouth going dry.
Time slipped from him. A coppery tang filled his mouth.
The wave lowered farther, raging waters quieting. Then roaring turned to lapping, rapids into eddies.
Until the wall of flame began to lower, too. Tracking the waters down and down and down. Letting them seep into the cracks of the earth.
Rowan's knees buckled, but he held on to his magic long enough for the steam to lessen.
For it, too, to be calmed.
It filled the plain, turning the world into drifting mist. Blocking the view of the queen in its center.
Then silence. Utter silence.
Fire flickered through the mist, blue turning to gold and red. A muted, throbbing glow.
Rowan spat blood onto the battlement stones, his breath like shards of glass in his throat.
The glowing flames shrank, steam rippling past. Until there was only a slim pillar of fire, veiled in the mist-shrouded plain.
Not a pillar of fire.
But Aelin.
Glowing white-hot. As if she had given herself so wholly to the flame that she had become fire herself.
The Fire-Bringer someone whispered down the battlements.
The mist rippled and billowed, casting her into nothing but a glowing effigy.
The silence turned reverent.
A gentle wind from the north swept down. The veil of mist pulled back, and there she was.
She glowed from within. Glowed golden, tendrils of her hair floating on a phantom wind.
"Mala's Heir," Yrene breathed.
Down on the plain, Elide and Lorcan had halted.
The wind pushed away more of the drifting mist, clearing the land beyond Aelin.
And where that mighty, lethal wave had loomed, where death had charged toward them, nothing remained at all.
For three months, she had sung to the darkness and the flame, and they had sung back.
For three months, she had burrowed so deep inside her power that she had plundered undiscovered depths. While Maeve and Cairn had worked on her, she had delved. Never letting them know what she mined, what she gathered to her, day by day by day.
A death blow. One to wipe a dark queen from the earth forever.
She'd kept that power coiled in herself even after she'd been freed from the irons. Had struggled to keep it down these weeks, the strain enormous. Some days, it had been easier to barely speak. Some days, swaggering arrogance had been her key to ignoring it.
Yet when she had seen that wave, when she had seen Elide and Lorcan choosing death together, when she had seen the army that might save Terrasen, she'd known. She'd felt the fire sleeping under this city, and knew they had come here for a reason.
She had come here for this reason.
A river still flowed from the dam, harmless and small, wending toward the lake.
Nothing more.
Aelin lifted a glowing hand before her as blessed, cooling emptiness filled her at last.
Slowly, starting from her fingertips, the glow faded.
As if she were forged anew, forged back into her body.
Back into Aelin.
Clarity, sharp and crystal clear, filled its wake. As if she could see again, breathe again.
Inch by inch, the golden glow faded into skin and bone. Into a woman once more.
Already, a white-tailed hawk launched skyward.
But as the last of the glow faded, disappearing out through her toes, Aelin fell to her knees.
Fell to her knees in the utter silence of the world, and curled onto her side.
She had the vague sense of strong, familiar arms scooping her up. Of being carried onto a broad feathery back, still in those arms.
Of soaring through the skies, the last of the mist rippling away into the afternoon sun.
And then sweet darkness.
#Chapter 61#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Elorcan#Aelin Galathynius#Chaol Westfall#Rowan Whitethorn#Fenrys Moonbeam#Gavriel#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 61 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Agony was in his very blood-Summons-She had come for him-Let go.No.Always?-She came this far-THANK YOU ELIDE-The voice of Perranth#My lady-Together till the end-if only the horse could Fly-A prayer-Made himself watch-But Aelin-hell yes-So he might tell the story#Not forgotten-For her friends-To get Aelin-Where was she?MY HEART-The shaking was her-The springs-He knew-Three months#Every single day-But for Maeve’s meant for Maeve-she knew he’d know-his power the counteracting-GET FUCKING DOWN-She had not given up#A thousand years for here months endured & one moment-Spent here-To save them-Burnout or Blessing-UTTER Awe-A miracle#A curse to enemies-All of them really-she drained the bank & there he was-THE FIRE BRINGER-glowing blinding white out for the world#she became the flame-Master of death-heir of Fire-Nothing remained-That’s what was eating her alive-Its grief but more-she was still—#capturing flame-She didnt want2lose it either-It was all of it-But also Aelin had a plan-be glad4it-They would save them she didnt need it#Back to Aelin-She began fighting-Quiet-Fell to what he knows-Sweet darkness-the power dive#No.#You know it’s bad when Rowan’s prayingWhen even Yrene is praying but not save to give peace&painless ends but Aelin’s off to save the day#Not for the Lock not for Erawan. But for Maeve's death blow. & now to save Elide; Marion would be proud#the way he’s thinking about I’ve gotta get Aelin out of here#Into the burning heart of the world. — the world shuddered#Aelin I am a god Galathynius-The raging soul of a flame-thats her-shed made the final descent right then for Elide-Rowan plummeted for her#Spent here to save the army that might mean Terrasens salvation-not2kill2spareNoblessinNocurseMiracleWomanA war won-friends held him up#One hell of a rumor-Gentle from the north-Malas Heir-she had sung to the darkness&flame&they had sung backthe same story#GETDOWN.Back into Aelin he was there there how did he get there so fast?sweet darkness 1 last time
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yo I can't believe people are being weird on the TToffoli pride post? or I can, but egh tumblr. anyway I'm SO jazzed for him being around yeah!! I found an article saying: 'Toffoli should also be the perfect role model for Celebrini, Smoth, and company, and that’s no exaggeration. “He’s a pro,” one league source said. "Toffoli is a really good guy. Lots of fun. Will be good for the young kids,” an executive said. “Great room guy,” Scout No. 2 said. “He's the best guy ever,” Scout No. 3 said via text. “Awesome HUMAN for the young guys to be around.”' and it sounds like he's got the good vibes to slot in with our old guys too! I'm really hype for this season :D
it costs ZERO DOLLARS not to clown on the sharks...like i know EYE clown on the sharks but i pay taxes in san jose so it's my right as a resident to talk shit...mayor matt literally said "it's legal to clown on the sharks if you paid my salary this year" in his last email blast..... anyway this made me really really emo bc in my humble idiot opinion the sharks have been missing that veteran locker room joie de vivre that brent burns had in spades that i think did some heavy lifting after joe pavelski left and logan couture was trying to shoulder the entire locker room alone. i think they were hoping mario ferraro would be the locker room joy guy but you can't like take away burnzie, put cooch on ltir for an entire season and then take away hertl too and expect mario, who is barely not a rookie, to still keep his head up...like he needs a guide...a role model...someone to set the tone...he is only 25!! he's just a lil guy!!!! and i think tyler toffoli is gonna be the person to step into that hole that burnzie left and do a lot of that heavy lifting while leadership is still being sorted out and let mario like, be a young guy and just enjoy hockey again. like i really think tyler toffoli is gonna be so good for the rookies, that's been proven across multiple teams and i'm excited to see it, but i think he's going to be really good for the guys who have been grinding it out in this org without joy ballast for a long couple of years now. (i guess at this point that's. just mario and pickles. maybe cooch if he's alive. haha. oh ariana we're really in it now 😭)
sorry to make this answer about mario ferraro, unfortunately most things in my life end up being about mario ferraro. but tl;dr YEAH i'm so excited to have tyler toffoli!! our first shark at pride ever!! good role model and locker room guy!!! may this joy continue for the next four years!!!!
#and when pickles hands the cup to cupcake in three years...i'll be sobbing my brains out. know this#cage replies#anon#thank you for this ask i really was sitting here like huh...what if i just rolled over and died#but having contemplated mario ferraro...i am now at peace#well no i'm not at peace i'm 😶 doing the math on how old mario was when i wrote brent burbs. i think i de-aged him a couples years too#but i FEEL better#prepared to face the rest of the week. it's what tyler toffoli would want for me surely
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wooimbouttamakeanameformyselfere
#so deadpool and wolverine huh#i come before you now to humbly offer my sincere apologies to one channing tatum#for the last ten years i have ragged on him as gambit#i didnt like his movies i didnt think he had the vibes or the physique to pull gambit off#i am here to announce that i was wrong#bc man can he do gambit#the voice was literally perfect#my only gripe is i wish they did his eyes properly#but at the same time i think it was a meta reference to wolverine origins#bc his eyes only changed and were correct when he used his powers#other than that and a bit of a change to his cowl he was perfect#i also need to admit that i was a bit of a doubter about deadpool in general bc i wasnt really into the second one#and was worried about the studio change and that the entire thing would be too meta and jokesy#instead it was a full on love letter to pre mcu marvel and the end credits literally almost made me cry#but the r slur joke really ground it to a halt huh couldve lived without that#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool spoilers#d&w spoilers#marvelous#peace was never an option
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my dog might die tonight
my mom's depressed and emotionally exhausted, to the point she slurs her words and feels like a zombie most days
has said to my face she doesn't want to fix it
that soon her mom will die and me and my sister are grown so...
we don't need her
and my dog's old and sick
in pain
at the vet getting oxygen and medication
to see if he'll make it through the night
and thank god he's there, so he doesn't have to suffer
but he's not next to us
he might die alone away from us
i think there's some poetic bullshit there
he would die in pain by our side
but he has a chance to survive away from us
and if he doesn't make it till the next day he'll die alone, but without pain
i just want to take everyone's pain away
but I can't
i can't fix it
it's not up to me
i can't do shit
#i was already expecting it#my dog's old#and he hasn't been well for a while now#it's fine#just want him to go in peace#i'd like it if he was comfortable near the people he loves#but like as long as he isn't in pain i'm happy#it's everything else that's making me have a breakdown#i was already tired and mentally unwell before learning WHY my mom had been like this#when she finally fessed up about the depression/exhaustion it took away the weight of not knowing how or why she got like that#but it's not easy hearing your mom basically says she wants to die#don't worry my sister already scheduled an appointment with a psychologist for her#she also got tests done to see if she had signs of dementia and shit#and she's working where i am right now#and i can see how hard it is for her#but i can't do much to help her#and i can see how everyone else is kind of done with her#but she isn't incompetent...she's smart and a good worker#but her brain is fucking cooked and i dont think she should be working#by now i'm literally just venting#in the tags#and just ignore this#ignore me#this was just a long time coming#everything is fine#mine
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I am actually Very Concerned now about how they are going to handle the Inquisitor in so many ways, mainly because I do not just want two cookie-cutter attitudes towards Solas... like if your Inquisitor was an f!Lavellan and romanced him are her two settings going to be either Still Pining After All These Years or Woman Scorned and Out for Revenge...?
#my f!lavellan is OVER him! totally apathetic towards him romantically now she is at peace... i dont want her to be reduced to either falling#over herself and forlornly glancing at him#or in the alternative being the He Is Irredeemable Bc He Hurt Me type like ugh#perhaps the complexity of where my solavellan left off could never be adequately portrayed so i am going to be disappointed regardless#my m!lavellan tho... he has pined for his best friend every day since losing him.#dorian is tired of hearing about this bald badly dressed man#i think i need some kind of tag for my own characters but im not good at this yet so i'll talk to myself in tags
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after a day of contemplation im no longer as much of a hater <3 unraveled you seem.. fascinating
#not looking forward to the keefe inner monolouge still but!#i think the human perspective and potential human characters will be really fun!#and the whole perspective of his emotions slowly numbing sounds cool :)#my first instinct is to be a hater but i think this book has potential actually :) i dont think shannons the type to do a money grab#if she says theres important shit!! theres probably important shit!!#that also adds a new aspect to this because its like. if theres important shit. why didnt keefe tell sophie.#trust issues? sokeefe breakup book 10?#lmao anyway i am going to try and go into this book with an open mind#i think what annoyed me most yesterday was just. the keefe takeover of the series.#i dont really like how the plot has turned toward keefe instead of sophie but i can get over it :)#i dont even really dislike keefe? i just dislike the sheer amount of him in the later books compared to the other characters#i dont dislike sokeefe either! just the amount of it in both books and fandom#but i will get over my hater instincts. i am a lover from now on.#sorry this was rambly. peace and love and unraveled amen.#kotlc
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alright this is just the mad ramble of a brain fresh off of episode 8 but currently what i WANT to see happen in the final four episodes is. kan is working towards revenge and either the mysterious guy she's working with (who is presumably someone from the community of her old neighborhood) actually is a little evil but kan still has good intentions OR (preferably) he only seemed vaguely evil because of the way we were introduced to him now, but it's intentional, because it seems like the show is trying to trick us into taking the rich family's side and sympathizing with them at every turn at the moment. they're getting all this hate, they're such sweet people, they don't know what they're doing wrong. this is true for home, who is generally clueless and doesn't understand where his wealth comes from, but uncle somkid definitely Knows (and... i'm not convinced he's happy home survived? this got lost in the muddle a little but i'm pretty sure that response to the news on the phone was not a yay <3 one), and of course so does the lawyer (mr. big), but we all knew the lawyer was bad news from the start. then there's granddad, who i'm pretty sure is also a bad guy knowingly, but he thinks he's doing it For The Family (and his grandson, etc) so of course he doesn't see himself that way, and this Family Curse he's talking about essentially seems to be "nobody likes us, oh boohoo, we're so misunderstood" when what they seem to have done is flatten a neighborhood where people were living to gentrify it/build some construction project that made the family a lot of money. so now home, who knows his grandfather as this nice loving silly guy with a lot of jokes, is on the task to lift his family's Curse and restore their reputation - but what does that mean? fighting the bad guys, who are the people who had their neighborhood razed to the ground? so. what i WANT is for home-peach-pangpang to work on this task of home's for an episode or two while actively trying to oppose kan, who they think has gone to the dark side, until they realize she is the one fighting the good fight even if she's going into it very hard - and either she makes amends for that itty bitty murder attempt (though i don't think she meant to hit home with that at any point), OR we'll learn it was never her work in the first place and this was another misdirection, which i honestly think makes more sense perhaps. i could fully imagine the next episode giving us another twist that tells us it was uncle somkid behind the accident, because again, we know he's doing bad stuff, he's been too kind and cool, and he didn't seem particularly happy to know home survived - AND he was the one trying to get home to drink alcohol before telling him to get into a car. either way though. parts of this episode seemed dangerously set up to be a plot that goes "these rich people aren't so bad, they don't deserve this hate" but dear god, i hope i'm reading this right and that's not where we're headed, because not only would that make less sense, it would also be unhinged (and very sad) if they went for that note with this series. i think we're good though. i do think we'll probably be okay.
#though that does not mean i am not incredibly scared to see the end of this. final episodes leave such a loud impression#and they're historically not gmmtv's strong suit. 🤞🤞🤞 though#i realize now that i didn't even mention kan's hospitalized father in this but i'll be honest. i whispered 'yes!' at that reveal#because it seemed like the most obvious answer. i'm not sure what happened to him but i think the vibes are obvious#*#peaceful property
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ok actually i don't think i'll ever forgive @favvnsongs for making me ship washilon bc now i am all consumed that the fact that wash DIDN'T KNOW epsilon survived the implantation process LIKE
and the SECOND that he found out that he was alive he rebelled from pfl and took off to go save him with the intention of sacrificing himself in order for epsilon to survive i cannot with these two
#first of all im joking favvn i just really didn't use to think of them that much and now they consume my every waking thought#still screaming at 'i was /sure/ they deleted him' like AHHHHHHHH#also wash in such agony the whole season about how awful ais are only to literally drop everything to go die for epsilon is so crazy#AND THEN WHEN EPSILON SEES HIM HE IMMEDIATELY TRIES TO KILL HIM LIKE WHAT#wash in s7 when epsilon has been saved but literally hasn't come back to help him like wash did for him: alright fuck this guy now#actually really highlights his s7 villain arc bc yes hes silly in it but also he would go against everything he once cared about#in order to finally get any form of freedom and a chance at peace#wow i am so emo about this i could go on for years#rvb#red vs blue#epsilon ai#agent washington#washilon
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perhaps an unpopular opinion, and not to shade anyone else’s reactions, but i felt a profound and overwhelming relief that build is not going to be in 4 minutes(/maybe not going to be acting for now?). i understand that it’s a tough pill to swallow because he’s an immense talent who deserves success, but it’s also so good to hear that he’s prioritizing himself and his happiness and giving himself time and space to heal. he’s barely had any time at all since the scandal and even less time since the settlement and it was an incredibly traumatic, INCREDIBLY public ordeal he went through. saying that he doesn’t have the ability or desire to step into another character’s shoes, when he had his sense of self so brutally torn apart, judged, and found wanting by a worldwide community, is strong as hell of him and i’m fucking proud of him for understanding that he cannot give himself to others if he doesn’t protect everything he has to give.
#i love him and i think this is the best outcome of things for right now#and i understand a lot of people will need to grieve what’s been taken#but i hope in the end everyone can make peace with his choices#because they are right for him and as fans the least we can do is respect his humanity and autonomy#build jakapan#who i am so proud of right now
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now. beloveds this is not NEW news but I've just had crystal clear confirmation re: the boy (not that it wasn't clear before, but now it's glaringly obvious that he DOES love another girl and this IS reality) and :') you never know how delusionally hopeful you are until such a thing happens!!!!
#i am horribly sad but in a distant and vaguely ironical sort of way because it really shouldn't have surprised me lol#anyway the sweet one just told me about his plans to ask the girl he likes out this winter and i gave him advice because he asked for it#so there's that!!#i think it was very sweet of him to trust me enough with this however he ALSO asked me to keep him accountable for asking her out#this is horribly ironic in a really funny way#you're asking. me ??? to make sure you confess to the girl?? whom i know for a fact is not interested in you???? and whom YOU'RE almost c#certain is not interested in you???? boy howdy#anyway that's all the news i have on the songbird front i am peacing out#to study for my midterms now and also pray because i really need to#lol i love that on top of this to think about and puzzle over i also have another 100 pages of medieval german poetry to read#respectfully! i hate this!!!!#the waiting room chapter
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FINALLY have wrestled my brain into sitting down and watching Good Omens and it is, in fact, very good!! Incredibly good!! Absolutely in love with it ♥️♥️♥️
It does, however, hurt terribly
#as a queer with hella religious trauma fucking OW 😭😭😭#Aziraphale is exactly who I used to be#and Crowly is so much like who I am now#'I only ever asked questions' yeah me too 😭#i really thought i'd kinda made peace with my religious trauma but it turns out i very much have not 🙃🙃🙃🙃#i'm like 2 eps into season 2 currently but i do know generally what happens and I DO know how it ends#and it breaks my fucking heart bc I'm going to be so upset with Aziraphale but I'm gonna understand him better than I want to#bc fuck if I didn't think I could fix heaven once#i really hope that when that line of thinking comes crashing down around him spectacularly#it doesn't do so in a way that kills any hope and makes him act apathetic as a defense mechanism to pretend it doesn't hurt#bc Crowley and I are already here and I want Aziraphale to avoid that#and it sucks and Aziraphale is too good to end up like this I want him to be ok 🥺#Crowley was too good to end up like this too but he's already here so I just hope he can heal better than I apparently haven't#idk I'm in love with this show and these middle-aged gay men but I'm also incredibly fucking triggered lmao#like ow mr gaiman good job but also kinda fuck you but also please I'm trusting you to give this a good end
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