#i think i also just project my own sibling thoughts onto them lmao

[tothewheel]

trying to articulate my sam and dean thoughts but it is just nottt happening. the crux of it is i think fandom is so extreme about their relationship on both sides of the spectrum. either they are actively killing each other and need to never speak again or they're passionate lovers. do people here not have siblings

[yanderespamton78]

sometimes i feel like toby fox made spamton and the addisons especially for people to hyperfixate on. everything about them seems so perfect for people to go rabid about its insane to me

for one, spamton himself pretty much counts for 4 people, those being addispam, big shot spamton, in game spamton, and spamton neo. now sure you mostly see people going rabid about in game spamton but ive seen plenty of people who are obsessed with a version we dont get to see on screen

secondly, even the main in game spamton himself is kinda up to interpretation. loads of people characterise him differently. if i compared two aus to eachother theyd often be very different and depending on the ones i chose could be almost like 2 different people, and then if i compared those to in-game spamton, theyd still be very different. also since you dont see addispam and big shot spamton on screen you dont even know what they acted like so again basically you can make your own guy to fixate on with a few prompts as to what he was like

dont even get me started on the addisons. now im biased as fuck here seeing that ive been fixated on the addisons for like 6 months now (send help) but toby fox basically gave us 4 templates for us to have fun with. sure based off of in game dialogue you have a bit to go off of when it comes to their personality (pink being an asshole and blue being caring for example) but even then every addison in every different au is slightly different and i have never seen two addisons turn out exactly the same. ALSO you dont even know the relationship these characters have to spamton meaning you can have them be siblings, you can have them be friends, or you can ship them based off of what you enjoy. OR you could just ignore them altogether (which a lot of people do lmao)

also another thing is the fact that you dont necessarily need to have your addisons' personalities just reflect off of spamtons. I mean the main 4 addisons give you enough to go off of to make your own, and you are given cyber city, an entire fantasy world for you to put them in. cyber city again is up to interpretation, some people have it be like a normal city, some people make it a utopia, some people make it a hellscape. the choice is yours!!

and even then in game spamton is so versatile. he is perfect for angsty stuff, fluffy stuff, or jsut silly stuff, and none of it is out of character. you couldnt really make an angsty spongebob edit could you, itd be weird and out of characer and no one would take it seriously. but also you couldnt make a silly walten files video, sure people do but its out of character and wouldnt actually happen canonically. but spamton on the other hand. hes the kinda guy who you can draw holding a wallet in his mouth like a cat and generally being silly but also you could draw him sobbing at the bottom of dumpster and neither would be out of character!! AAAA

also extra thing i thought id add but his backstory is also very up to interpretation, like i dont think ive ever seen two people who think spamtons rise and downfall went exactly the same. sure everyone has the same general idea of how it went but some people believe in acid theory, some people believe in puppetification theory, some people have a mix of both, some people have their own idea of how it went down, and with that you can project different parts of your own trauma onto whatever happened to him.

ok sorry that was so long thank you for reading my very biased ramble about why spamton is perfect byeeee

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

Curious if you think Johnny, peanut, and Lola have/had siblings or if they're just only children. Personally I always hc johnny and lola as only children but felt that peanut had a younger sister who passed away.

why hi anon!!! this such an interesting question, thank you!!

i remember reading that hc, yep!!

i hc all the three of them, however, to be only children (i think they're the only greasers that i do??). in fact, for all three of them, this fundamental isolation is their childhood is, in the way i read it, what shaped some of the way they socialize and influences a lot their interactions.

as for johnny, the thing is that his parents were both in the drug dealing circles of new coventry, hence why they were in prison for a while- his father was actually pretty important in the neighborhood, while his mom mostly helped and did other legal jobs (which is also why she got out earlier). and johnny learnt both how to be a man and how not to be a man from his father- he taught him strength and roughness and to never take a hit but punch harder. but he also taught that johnny didn't want to hit his woman, didn't want to leave the house for a smoke to cool his head when she was crying and threatening to hurt herself because of him, didn't want her to be his slave.

in this framework, i think that him having, say, a brother would sort of... scatter the relationship his father has with him, the attention and, almost, the pressure to be worthy of being treated as a peer. which is something i really like to read for johnny. and i also like the idea of him having had his mother as the only woman in his life, before lola. call him a mama's boy, but he learned to take care of his mother before he even questioned how to deal with an eventual girlfriend. so he has learned to take care of the people he has around himself, such as peanut, almost in a way that replaces a paternal figure as protector of the house. but also internalized some very specific notions about masculinity and virility that he totally projects onto the relationship with lola.

ultimately, i think, the whole point is that the way he lives the relationship with lola in particular is basically a result with having grown up with the only reference in his house of close human interaction as his parents, and having to sort of step up where they lacked in the sole spousal relationship.

with peanut, my hc is that his mom had him when she was very young, sixteen years old, and she was... basically on her own, really; the boy she had had him with had fled as soon as he had a chance, her dad was on the other side of the ocean and her mom was basically mia (i still have to figure out the logistics of this, since, when i first elaborated it, i forgot for a while that Laws Existed, LMAO, and i was already too far in the creating process to change that), so she had to raise him on her own. and peanut spent most of his childhood in his living room, waiting for his mom to come back home, watching the vhs she had rented for him and reading the motors magazines. it's there that he fell in love with greasers, crushing on marlon brando and james dean, the shiny motorcycles and the raw leather jackets.

he basically had to live with himself, you see. also bc his mom, so young and unprepared, was very overwhelmed most of the time, and- i did post a quick snippet of a scrapped chapter of my fic already, actually, so you can get a broad but more detailed idea of their relationship if you want!! either way, point is. larry had to learn to tend to himself at a very young age, dealing with the loneliness and his own sensitivity, running from eventual kids of the neighborhood, who liked to take advantage of him being much smaller than most of them, trying not to take up too much space and upset his mom.

so of course, when he met johnny, older, proud, powerful as a sun, promising to take care of him, it felt almost unreal, something he never thought he could have wished for nor something he thought he deserved. some kind of care and protection hed never learnt to receive, and that he hang onto for dear life because suddenly... he wasn't on his own anymore.

(sometimes parents are just Contextual Objects. other time they are fully fleshed ocs with a backstory and a whole personality. turns out despite everything immacolata romano is really my child and i am so so fond of her and id have soo much more to say abt her relationship w peanut. but i digress)

and lola- i'll admit, shes the one i bounced back and forth about the most, in trying to imagine her family's situation. (in fact, if you see any reference to her family in my older fics/post, no you dont) at some point i even considered the idea of her having a much older brother who would sort of fill in for some absent father figure, but then i scrapped it. i think that, in her case as well, having grown up alone with her parents' relationship as a reference makes potentially much more sense than any other possibility i considered.

lola has a quote, in which she says "i'm so old, my life is almost over!" when... she's just?? sixteen??? seventeen??? i think it's because, see, her parents got married and had her when they were young, maybe nineteen or twenty- yknow, as soon as it was legal for the both of them without too many loopholes. however, the relationship was very unbalanced and fundamentally deteriorated, perhaps not from the beginning but very soon. her father being dominant, violent, arrogant and such. and her mother has always been bitter, subdued but angry and resentful at her husband, at the golden expectations she had, at her womanhood and, of course, at her daughter. she's always seen her as living proof of her own wasted beauty and youth; but, especially as soon lola started growing up to the age at which girls start being looked at by the boys, which we unfortunately know how soon it is, saw in her what she felt she'd lost. so she'd often remind her how lola was the reason why she is now a ruin of a woman, why she went from a beautiful and promising girl to an old and unattractive hag.

again- her being the only child helps focus on her the kingpin of this dynamic, especially on her mother's part. so lola grew up knowing what can happen to women, what remains when the fairytales of the princess marrying the prince crumble with the remnants of childhood. she realized at eleven, twelve years old how men were starting to look at her in the street and she knew what the next step would have been. she was reminded every day of her life. so, when she walked into bullworth, into the relationship with johnny, all she knew is that she wouldn't have ended up like her mother. knew that she wouldn't have fallen in love, wouldn't be tricked by the sweet words and the dreamy gazes. and she knew that she had no weapons to defend herself but the very thing that could've otherwise been the death of her, that being the male attention. and finding a way to use johnny's attention specifically, with his blind devotion mixed to the obliviousness, to her own advantage... well, that's what her whole arc is about, isn't it.

as i write this, i'm starting to realize that her having, perhaps specifically a brother, might function as a tool to highlight the difference in treatment between her, a daughter, and an eventual son. however, i stand my case that i really like the idea of this whole dynamic of her parents and her mother in particular resting on her and her only, creating this sort of... tunnel vision in which her very isolation in front of her view create her idea of how the world works.

thank you so much for the question!! it was a lot of fun to answer + it helped me make some order among some concepts i had in my mind <33

[bazooka-overkill]

MR SANDMAN BRAINROT EUEUUUGGHHH

okay yay brainrot won the poll. also i might psot dragon chan headcanons requested by wallet becuz yaaaaaayyy

uhhh also i dont really gaf about timelines. so if something doesnt line up time wise. ignore it. shh

ermmm cw for child fighting!! mr sandman didnt have the best middle school experience

BAZOOKA'S THOUGHTS:

i need this man so badly PLS MR. SANDMAN ONE CHAAAAANCEEEE

who typed that omg…

GENERAL SANDMAN INFO (canon + headcanon)

full name: isaiah joseph banks

birthday: april 12th

age: 31

height: 6’5” (197 cm)

weight: 284 lbs (129 kg)

origin: philadelphia, PA, USA

gender: cis male

sexuality: bisexual (might be in denial lmao. men say theyre fighting demons and the demons r bisexuality LMFAO)

family:

victoria banks, mother, alive

george banks, father, alive

no siblings

HEAD CANON TIME:

- insomniac. goes between sleeping for 11 hrs during the day and not sleeping at ALL, also explains the eyebags in his TD

- incredibly horrible sleep schedule. stems from his childhood

- also stems from his childhood but not exactly the best at socializing w other people

- somehow is friends w glass joe. don't ask me how it works they just ARE (and they may be a little. fruity.)

- has one of those light up squishy things that u hit to change the color. yeah he either fucking SLAMS that thing or gently pats it when he wants to change it. it’s a bunny for anyone curious

- goes thru the 5 min nap to the 5 hour nap pipeline. “oh im just gonna take a small nap,” then wakes up w the blankets all over the fucking room, the god damn windows r open, he’s somehow upside down, etc etc

- him and the ref have beef after his TD victory animation

- was one of those kids that would be on his knees near some mulch playing w the roly polies on the playground. he'd have like 20 in his palms in 5 minutes

- if u catch him right when he wakes up (like. RIGHT right when he wakes up) he accidentally calls people “baby.” it’s a habit he picked up from his mom and he’s pushed it back into his mind, but it slips when he isn’t exactly thinking (totally not projecting my own habits onto him guys)

- adding to the above that the person who originally found this out was glass joe. take that as you will

- he sends some of his boxing money to his parents to support them (he’s a mamas boy LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE)

- doesn’t exactly search for a relationship, believes that when he decides he’s ready for one the right person will find him

- gets dragged into world circuit outings by either super macho man or aran ryan. on the rare occasion it’ll be soda. one time they all went bowling and sandman watched aran ryan throw a bowling ball like a fucking baseball and it broke the ceiling

- knows how to make a MEAN philly cheese steak. will be mentally freak out (positively) if someone mentions they’ve never had one before. if he wasn’t so stoic he would be jumping up and down and going “YAAAAAYYYYY🎉🎉🎉” becuz he finally gets an excuse to make one for someone

- has 100% almost broken the world circuit ring's ropes (see his intermission animation in contender)

- his locker in the locker rooms is either completely spotless or dented to hell and back. bonus points if theres like. a fake succulent in there or some shit

- luvs animals. takes pics of cool animals he sees anywhere

origin backstory thing under cur bc its long

origin:

isaiah joseph banks, known as his boxing alias mr. sandman, was born on april 12th to victoria banks and george banks in the Doylestown Hospital. born to loving parents, isaiah grew up as an only child.

isaiah learned to keep to himself and care for himself very early on, as both of his parents were usually at work. they worked hard to provide for isaiah and themselves, but always put their son first. they

the time they spent at work would be made up at home, albeit this time could never be fully made up for a young isaiah. he had spent more time with babysitters and nannies than his own parents. of course, isaiah knew his parents loved him, but all the bonds that were supposed to be formed hadn’t; the time frame had passed.

the time they did spend together was… memorable, really. not in a bad way, but every moment— every waking minute— made isaiah into the man he is today.

every night, when his mother was home early enough, she would sing him a soft lullaby. when she wasn’t, his mother had recorded this lullaby onto a tape for him to listen to. this lullaby was the song that made mr. sandman: Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes. it wasn’t a typical children’s lullaby by any means, but by god he loves that song— present tense intended.

then, a problem arose: school. starting middle school is one thing, but isaiah found out how cruel children could be.

isaiah was big, to put it lightly. five foot six at age 12 was enough ground for bullying, and being dropped off by a few different babysitters/nannies in the morning only added to the ammunition.

with how big he was, the bullying never went farther than verbal harassment. soft giggling every time he talked in class, glances from across the classroom, the bullying was subtle except for the occasional direct blow to isaiah.

his boxing interest began when he was thirteen, where his parents enrolled him in a self defense class that revolved around boxing and the sort. they had found out about the bullying from the babysitters, as isaiah had been reporting what they had been saying to him. there, young isaiah learned the basics of boxing: dodging, punching, and jabs had been added to his arsenal.

isaiah had always relished in the safety of knowing that he’d never get attacked at school, but unfortunately this was false.

it was brutal really; the poor boy had been caught in the bathroom and was attacked from behind, slammed his face into the sink, and assaulted from there. it took around two minutes for teachers to hear the commotion, but they were two minutes too late.

there, isaiah was brought to the hospital. no one truly knows the full extent of his injuries, minus his parents. if you look closely at mr. sandman, his top teeth are a little crooked.

nothing exactly eventful happened other than he moved schools, and everything was smooth from there.

his boxing career began to take off when he was 17, when he met an old babysitter of his— one who had taken care of him up until he was 13. he had become a boxing coach and offered to take isaiah up as a student.

if you ever ask mr. sandman in an interview about his boxing idol, he’d most likely say his coach. that man taught him nearly everything he knows, and even taught him the dreamland express move that mr. sandman is most known for, albeit modified.

mr. sandman picked up his alias when his coach told him about the WVBA and their boxers. it was almost inevitable he’d choose mr. sandman in honor of his mother.

he had his first fight at age 18, where it went swimmingly well. records of this fight have been lost to time, but, according to word of mouth, mr. sandman nearly killed the poor man.

i gotta be honest w u all idk how to continue this. umm mr sandman meets a wvba recruiter and then uh yah.😁😁😁

[appleblocks]

My good friend Fantom made me realize that like,,, yall probably have no idea what is going on in my au at all

And I apologize for that! I get so involved in my own mind that I forget to actually make informational posts

So below I'm writing some info about my au and the characters in them!! :D Focusing on the 'main cast' which are the protags of my fic Fresh Life!

and also I will touch upon the recent shiping ive been doing of the characters

As for my other au, it kinda stems from that first one, but it is a Next Generation AU. I'm currently writing a fic for it, and the premise of the au as a whole is quite simple: the (mostly) cannonical kids of the hermits and lifers grown up and having their own adventures! <3 I'm a sucker for Next Gen aus, and this adoration started back in my MLP days lmao The au follows Hermes (Empires 2), Tiny Tom (Empires 2), Grumbot (HC 7), Jrumbot (HC7), and Jeremy Jr. (SOS smp) in their lives as young adults, exploring their friendships and their familial relationships, and my fic Fresh Life (name derived from the term Fresh Meat) follows them experiencing their first Life Series together, with the return of the Boogeyman and a new Canary :3 I'm currently writing Chapter 1 and I'm writing it in 'Sessions', so each chapter will be the span of 1 mc session, roughly. I have multiple tags for this but the main ones are #next gen au and #project fresh life!

Description from a previous ask ^^^

This au and fic (and future Empires based fic) follows the many fictional kids of the lifers, hermits, and emperors of the MCYT sphere I watch and fin entertaining, but I've adapted them so much to what I wanted that they very much like ocs to me ;w; but it feels weird to make them fully ocs because of how connected to the original world and characters they are in my mind and it makes me really sad to let go of all that to make them ocs of some kind.

I didn't inicially intend to ship any of them, cause I thought people would think I'm weird, and some probably do think that. But I'm doing it in the sense of character exploration, and imagining how they would act and feel in deeper connections and relationships (non romantic term)

Hermes and Grumbot to me are genuinely good friends, even best friends. Of course Hermes and Tom also are best friends, but that stems from the fact that they're siblings through Joel.

Hermes and Grumbot, to me, have a lot more possibility for a deeper connection than Jrumbot and Tom, because honestly Jrumbot and Tom know each other more because their brothers are friends than anything else, and so I started gravitating towards Hermes and Grumbot's friendship and relationship a lot more.

They are all friends and hang out whenever, along with the other characters that I haven't posted much about yet like Hillary, Jonn, Mandy Mane, etc. (but I will post about those more eventually)

They all care very much about each other, but to me Grumbot and Hermes in this AU are a lot closer than others. Hermes doesn't expect anything from Grumbot in the way that others might, so Grumbot is able to feel a lot less stress and relax a lot more around him. ( <- this is derived from the fact he was made with a purpose and then stored away when his efforts failed ) And Grumbot is very protective, in his own way, even if he's mean and murdery in the Life Series context he could and would drop everything to protect Hermes and the people he cares about.

I'm mostly just defending my character exploration now but yeah TwT it's late and idk what to do but I wanted to maybe clear some things up and provide some more insight into things

Also, for those that remember me saying Grumbot is aroace, that still applies!!!! I'm very much putting my own experience of aroaceness onto him and his deeper connection with Hermes does not negate that! I'm in a relationship too rn and I still identify as aroace, it's a spectrum, so i hope thats okay ;w;

[sunny12th]

2, 6, 8, 15 for dany!!!

Under the cut <3 ty for asking

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Dany is never what anyone expects her to be, narratively and from a meta standpoint. We don't expect a female character, far removed from the main point of magic in the story, to find her own magic and be a destined hero. We don't expect a child rape victim to have a lusty, consensual, and fun romance with a side character. She was not expected to survive khal drogo or the red waste. She was not expected to pivot at every turn and find a third way. And we didn't expect the very real consequences to come from her actions in slavers bay. No one expected the wide spread consequences across Essos from her actions - a slave revolution brewing. No one thought we'd get to see what might happen when a revolutionary character actually commits to the revolution and then has to handle the fallout. That feels so rare to me. She exists so far removed from what the average fantasy reader, or reader in general, would expect to find in a book and I think the fandom takes this for granted sometimes.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Not going into detail but- isolated childhoods with not very good siblings, messy family history, and a whole heaping of desperation. Looking back, it's pretty blatant why I latched onto Dany when I first read agot back when I was like 14/15. Projection and cathartic healing babeyyyy 🔛🔝

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

In another ask, I said that I hate when the fandom uses Dany's family/ancestry as evidence for her impending madness. Along with that, I also really dislike the notion that Dany should have not acted at all to free the Unsullied and other slaves because she didn't have a clear enough plan to handle the fallout. This idea that, because she couldn't do this Perfectly she should not have done it at all. For obvious reasons lmao. One reason I like Dany is that doing nothing goes against her character and usually leads to negative consequences for her, as in Meereen.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

I'm not overly invested in any of Dany's ships tbh. That being said, my fave is Dany/Jhogo. I am probably one of 3 people that like them. grrm is an excellent writer when he cares to be one but he didn't care for the Dothraki. Why are none of the bloodriders allowed any interiority or ... personalities. Or anything that might let them feel like distinct characters that warrant the level of proximity and relevance they have to Dany. 'blood of my blood' - was this supposed to mean something? Because it couldve meant a lot! especially to a character like Dany, with no blood relations and desperate for family. Besides Jorah, the bloodriders and her dothraki handmaids are the characters she spends the most time with since book one.

Anyways, Jhogo has a bit more personality than the other bloodriders, he's 'of an age' with Dany (all the bloodriders are around the same age), and it just has so much potential. The royal guard/royalty trope but outside the culture we usually see this is. And!!! They've seen each other literally at their lowest. They survived the red waste together, sacked cities together. Jhogo is held hostage for her right now, along with Daario. I can't pull up the quote right now but Barristan remarks that Jhogo is indispensable to Dany, or smth like that, in his POV chapter. They grew up together, learned how to be strong together. If grrm had cared, they couldve been a top tier romance. It wouldn't have felt rushed or like they were pulled together through fate. Could've just been two lost kids growing into love. But this wouldve required grrm putting effort into the Dothraki characters and he's made it abundantly clear that he doesn't feel the need to do this.

[hikennosabo]

now that i've marinated in trimax's ending, i wanted to reflect a bit. i definitely don't have it in me to write a full review or anything lmao, but... it was a really incredible story, and i had a great time. i don't think i've ever cried this much over a manga, lol... usually i cry over audiovisual media. even all my crying about one piece has mostly been over the anime. other manga i've cried over off the top of my head have been different types of crying, if that makes sense (like crying over shimanami tasogare because the queer themes hit home, not because i was overly invested in & emotional about the character arcs). other manga like devilman and csm hit me emotionally but i didn't necessarily shed tears over them, and if i did certainly not as much as i did trimax lol.

i (predictably, if you know me, i love characters with complicated sibling relationships) latched onto knives when i watched tristamp... he is definitely hard to like in the manga sometimes, but his character arc is fantastic, so i ended up starting and ending this journey crying over him LMAO. i really really love all the characters in this story, except for like... the cartoonishly evil one-off bad guys and, as we all know, chapel. lmao. most of the characters are likable in one way or another, by some combination of being cool, strong, charismatic, funny, etc... just being complex and fantastically human, which is only natural in a story about human nature.

and of course i need to give a huge thank you to @trigunbookclub, @revenantghost for organizing, @trigun-manga-overhaul for the incredible scans & translation, and everyone in the tag for making this such a fun experience!

i loved reading everyone's posts, it really helped fuel the brainrot, and writing my own posts ended up being A Task but also fun. even though i feel my posts were mostly an exercise in inventing new ways to portray crying and screaming over text as opposed to everyone else's thoughtful observations and analysis LOL. and participating in book club kept me reading at a good pace, otherwise i either would have binged the whole thing in like 2 weeks or gotten distracted and not finished, so thanks for keeping me on schedule lol.

this is not the last you'll see of me in the tag, i still have art (memes) i want to make, there are a LOT of things i want to draw, a potentially (relatively) big project in my brain which i have no guarantee i'll get to lmao, plus character/ship playlists if i finish them, and maybe some other posts as i rewatch tristamp and 98 again. and i've still got to read multiple bullets ofc.

also i was holding back on following people because i was trying to avoid spoilers (which i failed at anyway because i have no self-control), but now i can follow people in the tag sooooo hello and sorry if you see me going through your trigun tags

[areislol]

I heard you were asking for angst ideas, and I might have one. Not the super in your face angsty stuff, but something that can hit just as hard imo

Someone mentioned a spoiled bratty sister as an add-on to the abuse parents idea, so may I present to you an add-on to the add-on: protective older sibling (perhaps a brother to even things out). In my head, this brother would be the exact opposite of bratty sister, probably older than both the sister and MC, and he probably goes through the same BS that MC has to with their parents (oldest sibling disease is no joke that boy is probably burnt out and neglected and still would take the brunt of it for MC's sake). They probably leaned on each other a lot growing up until the brother left or moved away for one reason or another. This is where the angst comes in: due to him leaving MC to fend for themselves, this would lead to abandonment and trust issues, which MC could project onto the cast. Doesn't want them to leave her but doesn't want to rely on them in case they do.

This would also leave the door open for this brother to come back into MC's life. I imagine he's very protective of them and clocks the cast's mild yandere red flags a mile away lol In my head he'd try to convince MC to correct their behavior like they're cats in desperate need of a spray bottle - that or he'd just call them out himself. And this would add tension to everyone because no way is the cast gonna be cool with this guy getting in the way even if he's just trying his best, but at the same time they can't be nearly as mean to him as they might be to the bratty sister because MC actually really cares about him and missed him a lot.

I know there's a LOT of different moving parts and ideas and thoughts I kinda just spewed into this. These were actually ideas I had for my own Creator AU reverse isekai (inspired by you!!) that I know will never see the light of day lol so go wild! Take what you want, adjust how you see fit! Maybe MC fits more as the oldest and deserves the oldest child disease instead lmao or maybe there is no sister or he never left- I could literally go on forever I'm gonna stop now lmaooo can't wait to see more from you! And even if you don't end up using any of these ideas, hopefully, I helped get the creative juices flowing!

PS. if you got a very similar ask from me like 2 hours ago, I typed one up and then the screen died I have no idea if it sent or not so here's another one just in case lol

oh my days this is AMAAZING HOLY WHAT??? i read ALL of this and i love so much, especially the older brother idea!! i've always wanted an overprotective older brother but you know, I AM THE OLDEST LMAO

i could def see reader's older brother coming to visit her once a couple of months since you know, money, he wishes he could visit you every day/week but since his job is so far away, problems you know.

i love this idea sm i will definenetly make a chapter out of this for sure!! i'll give you credits as well don't worry <3 i enjoyed this idea sonmuchcs i'm going to DEVOUR it.

and if you ever decide to start a reverse isekai'd series/fic please tell me!! i would love to read it and reblog the shit out of it <3 with this idea i can conclude that if you ever do start a reverse isekai'd fic your ideas are going to be AMAZING!!! trust me, if you really want to it and your brain is flooding with ideas i would say start a draft! and if you end up liking it then maybe start thinking of actually publishing it.

if you dont mind me asking.. if you got some more ideas, angst or not, i would love to hear it from you!! again, thank you so much for this i enjoyed your ideas so much!!

take care anon <3

[angelpinkpasta]

sigh I was just gonna reply ‘they’re kinda complex’.. but wrote all this instead. here’s an analysis on their relationship bc its been on my mind for too long n its getting ridiculous LMAO. I had the time🤧:

Olly and Paisley knew each other since they were literal babies. Paisley struggled making friends growing up as she was very shy, and this worsened when her mother, who she loved and connected with so dearly, passed away. The only person there for a long time other than her dad and sibling was Olly - her close childhood best friend, making communicating with him not so hard for her. their memories mean a lot to the both of them esp her. For Paisley, this rlly was her closest and most important friend. Loosing him would be like loosing her only accepting friend - a major person from her past. (There is liann too ig but I’m not sure if they’re knew each other as kids?). Just to mention, Paisley is someone who stays close to the past (the annex, her mom, her childhood treehouse, it all means so much to keep that part of herself with her. Olly is a huge part of that.).

It seemed that she was in awe of what he did to help her with the annex. Might've even developed a crush - she loves her childhood best friend for how impactful he has been in her life. So when he started to act a lil off, she was confused, maybe a little blind to what he was making her do. Even when he started talking too much about his excitement for Ley-la, she still tries to be there for him. Doing what he likes most will keep him around (putting on that show whether she's comfortable or not) and she just genuinely cares for him. She couldve easily talk to him (she seemed comfortable w him before the leyla thing happened), but after the both that and annex situation she might've been in denial about his actions. He was being so thoughtful, surely he didn’t mean wrong now. She already lost her mom, she cannot lose her only close friend too. Idk what I'm trying to explain lol. just. just hear me for a sec guys. she’s afraid of losing him. ((SPOILER// even literally hiding when he’s around… maybe she’s afraid of making him mad, which eventually means losing him?? he kinda toxic uh))

Olly, as the lil shi he is /j, is still also complex. He grew up with a working class family (friends lore) so i assume his parents were not around him so much in his childhood. Him and Pais were neighbours so he would spend his time with her and her family. He found her mom a very inspiring person, kindhearted and loving seemingly unlike what his own parents had time to give him (so he empathized for what paisley was going through after losing her mom). What gave him attention were the costumes he enjoyed making, maybe boosting his family money a bit. So he sees himself as someone who could make dreams come true if he just gets to work on it. Boom.

Like Pais, his childhood friend does mean a lot to him (maybe not as much as her, but he still brings up their childhood here n there). When it comes to his possible feelings for her... it could be one thing or another.

Possibility One: ok uh. he doesn't have a crush on her. He thinks he does. He is fruity. He just has internalized homophobia and is projecting that onto paisley who he thinks he likes. Might explain a bit of his blindness towards her, thinking he is doing what a guy would do for his girl to love him, but messes it up. ("Oh I'm doing something she would love so it's working out right???"). Might explain his fear that Zac would take her away from him. help.

Possibility two: he does love her. This might act be more accurate just based on him caring bout her while also blushing and getting all shy around her that one ep. Also his reaction to her preform. Or his jealousy of Zac. Anyway. He initially really wanted to do this for her, but it was also a huge interest of his own for a long time too. he thought if both of them get what they want, esp her, they would both be happy. And together forever. He kept that in mind somewhere but fame rlly got to him, he ended up caring bout that more.

I mean. Olly gets confusing. There were times it just seemed he was blind... and some even manipulative??? When you rewatch the scene at the lunch table, where he gives her those eyes, and when she says she can't dance, he then talks about his costumes. Then knowing how kind Pais is, she immediately encourages him (probably feeling bad knowing what he's been through in his childhood, wanting him to finally have his moment.) and it distracts her from even giving that talk. He either didn't mean for this... or knew her feelings right there and just wanted to get his way, to make her go for his perspective. There was also that scene before he yelled at Zac (bro should chill😭) and claimed 'we’re in this together' despite the fact she said she 'can't do this alone’. She is in a struggling state, and he seems either unaware, or very aware and trying to get her on his side. anywayz

I dont wanna spoil much so I’ll leave it here. uh. all I’ll say is that i dont think their relationship is set in stone, i think there’s a chance they can improve it, but based on that ending there’s also that side that just seems bad for the both of them if they dont work it out. In this essay i will

im just rambling.

I wonder how many still ship Olly & Paisley after S2

It's clear that Olly cares more about his fame than Paisley's wellbeing.

[cosmictulips]

You've got a friend in me (PAC) 🧸🤠

this is a PAC about who is coming in to help you with your journey. this may also pick up on who is already helping you with your journey. Inspired by the movie : Toy Story!

as always if you wish to tip your reader you get a fun reading out of it.

there's a list of other PACS that I've done already that are...themed base I suppose lmao. I honestly have a lot of fun with these so, lets go. it's pretty simple.

Pick a Gif! and we'll see who is around you or is coming in to help you on your journey. ... this may also just end up being how your friends see you lmao.

... so yea these are small af. lmaooo. 1,2, 3

Pile 1's

Knight of Cups, Strength, 03 of Wands, Wheel of Fortune, 10 of Wands , the Star, 10 of Pentacles, King of Swords

okay, so there's a few ideas running through my head. first, this could be people at a distance from you. like coworkers, managers, family members that you may not know all too well. these people feel like silent supporters. they defend you when you're not around and are honest to the gods, trying to look out for you.

these are people that feel impacted by you somehow. I really do think these are not people you would normally think of. like a mother you may not have the best relationship with. or a cousin you haven't spoken to in years. a coworker that you only see...well at work lol.

Get the gist here? the people who are supporting you, would I guess... be considered secondary characters lol. just the everyday people you run into. they see you as someone who is chasing after their own dreams and someone who is very strong and courageous.

they see you as a go getter. and they want to give you a helping hand. some people may not say things in a soft way. they can come across as the king of Swords here. cold, ruthless, logical. but they don't mean to be as rude as they are.

they can just see what steps may lie ahead and they want you to know in advance. these are also people who may project onto you a little. they see the dreamer in you. they see the advocate, the doer. and they project onto you what they wish someone had ...said or done for them.

but just know, you are protected and guided by the many faces you see. in your life, there are no coincidences. every person you meet is meant to teach you something.

Pile 2's

06 of Wands, the Hanged Man, Ace of Cups, Page of Pentacles, 03 of Wands, 02 of Pentacles, 04 of Cups, Page of Wands, the Hermit

okay. this person feels older than you. for some of you this is an older sibling, for others it's a parent, and for others it's a grandparent. someone older. than you. someone who has been through the trials of life and have come out the other side.

I feel like for someone this could be a teach or a guidance counselor as well. either way it is an older person lol. and they have gone down the same path that you are on now. they are compassionate, a little lost in their own thoughts, and very sentimental.

they know the struggles of life, but they also know the successes. and they see you as someone who is just getting out there. someone who is exploring the world around them and you're trying to be cautious.

I think... they want you to be a little more open. falling and failing is a part of life and they are here to help you in any way that you can. but I think anxiety or fear in general is stopping some of you. and they may try to push you out of your comfort zone.

they want you to know that they are very proud of you. they always will be. and in this lifetime, you need to learn how to be proud of yourself. don't be afraid of making tough choices, and trying new things that scare you. there's this... sense of feeling insecure or indecisive.

that is why they are here. to help you make the best choice. let them help you ;)

Pile 3's

the High Priestess, the Star, 10 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, 04 of Wands, 02 of Cups, the Hermit, Queen of Cups, King of Wands,

You guys are my intuitive group, ain't ya? you guys have a team of guides behind you on the other side. deities, ancestors, spirit animals. whatever you want them to manifest as, they will come to you. this is a strong gut feeling that comes to you. deja vu, tarot readings, those angel number things.

this is also close friends and family. this is someone who is kind of bossy lmao. but also, someone who loves you so deeply. SO SO deeply. a mother, a sister, a lover.

I almost feel like you guys are the ones who get messages at just the right time and you do it for others as well. you take what you have learned, and push it forward. and that's why the universe is always whispering to you.

Learn what you have used in isolation and step forth into the comforting arms around you. these people will not leave your side. and those who have and are trying to come back, realize that people can change and grow. and... these people, these guides, see you as someone with a lot of power and a lot of potential.

these people can see the happiness that awaits for you. the abundance. and they want to at least walk beside you as you go forth.

[gerardspuppy]

Melkor for thé ask game ?

Honestly I hc that none of the Ainur really have human genders/sexualities but I'll approximate :)

Sexuality Headcanon:

Bi. He'll fuck anything with a pulse.

Gender Headcanon:

No one knows what his gender is but whatever it is it must be just as freaky as the rest of him.

A ship I have with said character:

Mairon, ofc. I also really ship him with Varda, I think they were childhood sweethearts until everything went south.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Gothmog and Thil. I need these three to have the craziest friendship ever, blowing things up and killing people left and right 👍 They're basically the American high school bully and his two henchmen stereotype, but with more murder.

A NOTP I have with said character:

I've seen a lot of people ship him with Nienna which really doesn't work for me tbh. I prefer to think of them as siblings.

A random headcanon:

He was supposed to be the way he was, Eru just didn't tell the rest of the Valar. He's the catalyst for everything that happens in Arda, so he was supposed to be crazy and evil and all that fun stuff, but because he was so different to the rest of the Valar they all thought Eru had messed up while making him and he was some crazy defect, and they kept their distance from him because of this. That was never the case. I don't really like actual redemption arcs for him because of this tbh, I've always thought that, while he can suppress it, the violence and anger is a core part of his personality. If he wanted to coexist with the Valar, I suppose he could figure out a way to let all that out in a more productive way (on a certain consenting Maia, for example...). But it's always gonna be a part of him, no matter what. It wasn't a mistake.

General Opinion over said character:

Can you tell I project onto him lmao. He was my favorite character when I first read the Silm (and still is) - like, c'mon, a guy who rebels against his father/god by blasting his own music? that was like catnip for baby punk me.

[bread-writes]

I would like to request a Lookism one please

ok so:

The reader is like a single mom and after a couple dates eith either the lookism boys or girls she decides that she want's them to meet her baby (who's like idk 1 ig you can change it I dint mind) how eould some of them react to their s/o having a kid?

you can do what ever characters! (but can one of them be Vasco? You can have whoever else!)

OooO that sounds interesting!

I’ll be combining it with this request since it’s pretty similar.

Writing under the cut!

CW: Children, Single parenting, Mentions of abuse and kidnapping (mild)

Vasco, Samuel, Jake, and Sinu Finding out The Person They're Seeing is a Single Parent

Euntae Lee

he probably would’ve never found out you were a single parent until you told him

he just assumed that you were busy with your life

never questions when you had to leave a date early after getting a notification on your phone

after a few dates or so when you’re finally comfortable enough, you take him to see your child

inviting him to your home was easy enough, you suppose

he’s a little confused on why you’re insisting on meeting up at your home, but is actually very excited to see what your home life is like

is taken aback by the sheer amount of toys littering the ground

you apologize, clearly embarrassed by the mess

the babysitter turns to greet you, surprised and a little terrified by the man at your side

however when they see your interlaced hands, they understand almost immediately, excusing themselves after handing your child back to you

if Vasco was shocked before, he’s definitely very very confused now

upon seeing him, your child would freeze before whimpering and sobbing

dropping his hand, you coo at your child, gently brushing away their tears whilst gently bouncing them in your arms

“...Is that your little sibling?”

you softly shake your head, refusing to meet his questioning gaze

the gears start to turn in his head; from your early exits to the toys on the floor

this was your child

he’ll stare at you for a moment, his eyes shining brightly with an emotion you couldn’t quite name

he’s mesmerized by how quickly you were able to calm the child--your child and is captivated by pure amount of love your gaze holds

after your child calms down, they’ll stare at Vasco for a moment, protectively clinging to the fabric of your sweater

their gazes sends cold shivers down Vasco’s spine

would they hate him?

do they find him scary--

he’s broken from his thought as a small babble makes its way to his ears

your child reaches out to him, their grabby fingers grasping onto his clothes

he stills for a moment until you let out a soft laugh

he watches as you allow your child to latch on to him, the soft smile on your features sending butterflies throughout his stomach

yeah, he could get used to this

Samuel Seo

definitely one of the more suspicious ones when it comes to your secret 

he won’t question it as much if you tell him you’re okay or to stop being so nosey

but, to be fair, when have words ever stopped him?

he won’t do much, just a little digging

which lead him to the fact that you live with someone else

a someone that you’ve never told him about

however, that’s not the part that surprised him

what surprised him was that the other tenant was a minor; listed as your dependent

how he found this out, you’ll never know

he’ll confront you about this

you weren’t happy to see him snooping around in your life, but you eventually sigh before taking him to your house

the babysitter was surprised to see you back so early, but handed you your child nonetheless

Samuel’s eyes would flicker between you and the child, noting the striking resemblances between you and the child

unsure of his feelings, he would excuse himself before making his leave

to be honest, he’s terrified

he’s never been the best when it came to familial relationships

from a young age, Samuel was exposed to violence which blossomed into a few dangerous habits

ex: nearly losing it whenever he’s interrupted

he doesn’t want to project said habits onto your child and potentially lose you; the only one who’s been able to put up with him

when he comes by the next day, you raise a brow as you open the door but usher him in anyway

your child just stares at him and he stares back

it’s just really awkward until you step back in

you move to pick your child up only to be stopped by your lover

he bends down and picks them up underneath their arms, lifting them up lion king style before continuing to stare at them

“This is fine... I suppose.”

Jake Kim

like Vasco, Jake is an idiot who probably never found out you were a single parent unless you told him

there’s also the fact that he’s also extremely busy and wouldn’t question your random disappearances

the way he found out you had a child was actually an accident, really

you were just taking your child for a small stroll in the park when Jake spotted you

he was concerned as to why you were hunched over and what currently had your attention

as he approached, the light coos of your child began to fill the air, mingling with your laughter

a hand on your shoulder caused you to flinch, quickly turning to face the person

your eyes widen as your eyes land on none other than Jake, subconsciously trying to shield your child from your lover

when he sees the child the first thing that goes through is mind is whether or not you kidnapped this child

no, like, seriously

“...Did you kidnap a child?”

“Wha-- No! Why would I kidnap my own child?!”

it takes a moment for your words to sink in 

but when they do, Jake’s eyes are wide with disbelief and you’re covering your mouth 

your child only stares, unable to read the tense mood between their parent and the giant man

when Jake shakes himself out of his daze, he sighs

at first you think he’s mad at you

that is until his arms wrap around your waist and he nuzzles his face into your shoulder

you can feel his lips pull into a smile as he continues to hug you

“You didn’t have to hide this from me. I would still love you regardless if you had a child or not.”

Sinu Han

he strikes me as the kind of guy who would already know but would want you to be comfortable enough to share it with him

when you do, he’s over the moon

...even if it was just a slip of the tongue

he’s so charismatic that you won’t realize what you said until you see the gleaming smile breaking his face

“I’m glad you’re finally trusting me.”

you blink up at him, “You knew?”

he ruffles your hair his unwavering smile sending butterflies fluttering in your stomach

“Of course I knew!”

when you offer for him to meet your child he’s so happy he almost immediately dragging you to buy gifts your child

even if you tell him that it’s fine and that Big Deal’s already tight on funds he’ll insist that he buy a gift because this is your child, after all

yeah, Samuel’s definitely pissed with his sudden splurging, but says nothing to his boss

definitely doesn’t stop him from glaring at the pile of toys and onesies  Sinu bought for your child

Jake on the, other hand, is just concerned

he knows his boss could be weird at times...but was it really necessary to buy three versions of a single cat toy?

upon actually meeting your child, they just instantly click

almost as if they were his child all along

not going to lie, you were pretty jealous

but as long as the to people you cared most about in your life were happy, who were you to be sad?

i- uhhhhhhh I’m back??? Definitely not my best work... especially Samuel’s part, so if you aren’t satisfied with these feel free to shoot an ask! Again, so sorry for disappearing off the face of the Earth like that... 

Edit: LMAO NOT ME FORGETTING TO ADD TAGS FJDIHFJOIDKJFNODKL

[stuffedsand]

Anyways hihi. I answer my own question. For context I was introduced by my sibling and watched some videos out of order before watching the voice trailers and song trailers. Anyways let's go

First character i "latched onto" (got super interested in) was actually mahiru!! Hence why she's still one of my favourites lmao. I Love You was a. A ride. And it's what truly got me interested in milgram. She gets to share the spot with muu tho for after pain and inmf being the first songs I listened to courtesy my sister :)

Oh also I remember that when my sister showed me after pain and asked me if I thought she should be innocent I said no because "she reminds me of a classmate/neg" which. I was right. But also the funniest way to procure an opinion on a character. Iirc the real reason was that I caught Bad Vibes from some of the lyrics' phrasing but idk.

Oh and I remember watching ily and being. Concerned. She'd earned an inno since I got into the project to the end of her trial lmao.

I think I also was interested in MeMe? Though not enough for it to leave a suuper lasting impression. From what I remember the last songs I listened to were Magic and Harrow cuz I didn't have time to listen to the whole playlist constantly + was more interested in the t2 songs overall

My current favourite(s) are obvious to everyone on this blog probably. Shidou n Kazui. Im constantly realizing more reasons why I subconsciously was so interested in their characters but I'll go for individual traits that made them stick out to me

Strange to say but the reason I was interested in shidou was the death penalty thing. And the fact that he was inno t1. I thought that was hilarious from a "fictional media" standpoint that the whole fandom decided to just. Not give him what he wanted. Even if it seemed he deserved it.

I believed the organ harvesting theory for at least 2 months. I think. Which makes it funnier that he's my favorite and makes it obvious that apparently the way to make me interested is to be inherently kinda funny. Cuz listen "organ harvester" is kind of funny ok. And it was funnier that he was innocent.

After the change in theory belief he makes me unreasonably sad but also intrigued in what caused such an extreme reaction and belief. Maybe this makes me strange but hey there's a reason I shouldn't study psychology )it'd make me too powerful)

Kazui was actually cuz of the gay kazui theory pre Cat release cuz I thought that was a funny, strangely substantiated theory that I assumed Cat was gonna disprove so I spent much of pre-Cat-release spinning around the theory till it was disproven. It wasn't it actually got more substantiated imo which makes it verrrrry funny to me.

Also because he makes me unbelievably sad all the time. Like what the fuck if his murder is what I think it is that's. Tragic. Tragic and realistic and aidbsusvdaugh.augh. also if it is what I think it is I get to point at kazui and go he just like me fr. Horrible.

Also Cat has a banger mv like hooooly shit. One of the best mvs so far imo.

Fun things that both have in common is that.

1) I generally disagree with the most common theory surrounding their murder in trial 1 specifically (organ harvesting theory, cheating theory)

This, ironically, makes me more insane Abt them cuz I get alllll the time in the world to think about what I think of them myself instead of using fandom interp. Encourages critical thinking (JOKE). I also get to then see someone's wildly different interpretation and get a whole different perspective!!!!!! Win win it's like peer reviewing. I might not agree with who I read the posts of but honestly I don't care much it gives me stuff to talk, think and jokingly complain to my friends about

2) their mvs have soooo many things and small details to point out that either give you a further insight to their murder or an insight into their character. It's so fun I love going frame by frame to see small details and symbolism. Like. Down to single 1 second frames or the line colours (haruka gets my attention for this too but that's a different post) or how the expressions can be read and. Look I take literature for a subject I'm bound to be attracted to these types of symbolism and to having the ability to pick up the smallest thing and make something out of it. Hell even in half how there are some moments I can't yet fully interpret that's what keeps me invested!!!! Wanting to see what happens!!!! What the next mv will reveal!!

3) on the point of symbolism!!!!!! They have my favourite forms of symbolism actually, flowers and theatre imagery. I once spent 3 hours searching up flower meanings for an art piece for my sibling like I wasn't even invested in the series it was for but she gave me flower ideas nd I ran w it. I'm in drama club. Love for theatre imagery is a given.

4) their songs SLAPPED and no one can tell me otherwise. That's the point that's it.

5) funny point but they continue the trend of me relating to/getting really interested in, in my friends words, "the kinda fruity middle aged to old people" which was the funniest description of my favourite character tropes???

6) oh yeah they're really easy to make fun of. That's what I need in a character.

7) also kind of a. Strange. Point. But I have a fascination with characters who explore the themes of grief and guilt over what isn't technically their fault (ie. Character doomed by the narrative:"this must be the concequences of my actions") and both shidou and kazui fit perfectly into that. Shidou is mourning his family but thanks to that feels guilt over the grief he's caused others. Kazui is mourning his wife whom he believes he's, in some way, caused the death of. They make me insane.

8) continuation of a briefly touched on point but their vagueness is one of the more intriguing things to me. Most of the other characters, while definitely nuanced and vague in their own ways, feel less so compared to these two to me. Cuz like kazui's whole deal is wanting us to find his lie, so we don't truly know what's up yet. Shidous thing is so. Confusing to me in a good way. Partially cuz, like mahiru, he seems to have a bit of a warped view of reality that directly relates to his crime. Maybe it's the liar imagery, the knowledge that they're keeping something hidden, that makes me want to look more closely and interpret the smaller details. Or I'm just insane.

Yeah I'm probably just insane. I have recently made Observations that a certain mutual will be hearing me go insane abt next week. anyways I'm gonna finish my homework goodbye milgramblr.

Send me your blorbo essays and dw if it's strange or long or "cringe" because dude look at mine. I will not and cannot judge because I am insane and j accept going crazy over characters

Ooh actually. People in the milgram tag tell me who the first character you latched onto was. And then tell me how you got attached to your current favourite. +Generally why they're your favourite. No word limit give me your blorbo essays plsplspls

[blookmallow]

hi i binged through all of salad fingers for the first time in like 8 years and im fixating again here are. My Theories. pls talk to me if anyone else has Thoughts or wants to discuss things. this is really long i am sorry :’ ) 

also shout out to the salad fingers wiki for helping me keep track of details and also for this 

-----

thought: salad fingers is not violent on purpose he did not mean to kill that kid 

this is less a theory and more “if you slander my boy with accusations i will Get you” but listen. i see people going “but he mURDERED A CHILD!!” because of the oven incident but listen. listen to me. he didnt mean to and cannot be held to the same standard of morality and understanding consequences as a. person who isn’t..... in whatever situation and mental state he has going on

- yes, the kid getting trapped in the oven was his fault. but it was not intentional or malicious and i sincerely doubt he understands what happened or why. 

he was asking for help reaching the fish (there’s no reason to believe he wasn’t just genuinely asking for help. he tears up in gratitude. theres no evidence of him Tricking People Maliciously in any other context i do not believe he would do that) and was distracted by the rusty nail, causing him to let go of the door. it wasn’t “he cares more about rust than about a child’s life” or something, i dont think he can actually hold “hey look at that i gotta check that out” and “i need to hold the door open so the child doesn’t get hurt” in his head at the same time, rust is his favorite stim/an impulse thing that takes over everything else and his perception of reality and the things going on around him changes very quickly and easily. more on that later. but the important point here is it wasn’t a malicious plot, or a neglectful careless action, he literally did not realize letting go of the door would cause harm 

he stabbed himself accidentally with the nail and passed out for a while (the fact that he immediately bled that much is concerning too, he probably has hemophilia which is. a medical condition outside of his control, as well) and after all that he had completely forgotten about the child altogether (and says “i must have dozed off” so he doesn’t even understand he passed out. and might not remember the nail thing in the first place) 

we don’t see what happened after this, we don’t know how he responds when he investigates the fish and inevitably finds an unexpected charred corpse in there, but i guarantee he won’t remember why its in there or understand that its a corpse. we dont see it again so its. entirely possible he didnt recognize it as a person and either just disposed of it or, uh, ate it. but if he did, it wasn’t with the knowledge and comprehension of it being A Corpse or the memory of how it got there 

theory: on salad fingers and memory / comprehension of death and consequences 

more on that subject

- we see him frequently doing things and then immediately forgetting he did it or forgetting what was happening. he accidentally squishes the bug (which also was not malicious or intentional, he intended to pet it but just. went too hard) and has no understanding either that its dead, or that he killed it. she has gone flat and gooey for some unknown reason. that’s strange. she needs to go have a wash, that’s no way to be. 

he eats the jeremy fisher puppet at one point and then immediately goes “where have you gotten to??” 

he even briefly forgets hubert cumberdale’s name and immediately comes up with another one without realizing it, and then later goes back to hubert cumberdale again with no mention of barbara logan-price 

he refers to the same little yellow guy as “young child” and also Auntie Bainbridge later on. he keeps up the fantasy of... whatever the fuck yvonne was being his child for a pretty long time but then when he arrives at “auntie bainbridge” ‘s house he suddenly forgets why he’s there, and even apparently forgets what yvonne is and uses  ‘her’ as a window rag instead and never mentions it again (I also don’t think she was in the sandwich at the end either. it’s hard to see but the sandwich contents are vaguely brown and theres a visible lump in the black goo behind him. i like the idea that the lil yellow guy made the sandwich for him) 

salad fingers is constantly subconsciously adjusting his reality to fit Whatever Makes The Most Sense At The Time and does not consistently remember things (sometimes even major things. he remembers his puppets the most consistently and still even forgets hubert’s name) or have a concept of cause and effect 

i think he possibly has some sense of recognition, “I’ve seen this person before,” but doesn’t always remember Why he knows them, and his mind just automatically fills in the blank with whatever makes sense to him. he doesn’t remember who the yellow guy is, but knows he knows them Somehow, so, ah, of course, it must be auntie bainbridge out for her sunday stroll :) and he knows he’s there for a reason, but not what that reason was, so he decides it must be time to clean the windows 

- milford cubicle was already dead when salad fingers opens the door, but he has no idea that hes dead. this isn’t even a cause for concern. my, he must be tired, that’s all. he kept milford there until he rotted away, too, so there was never a point where he realized anything was wrong (until he became skeleton. more on That later too) 

- he finds a corpse buried in the yard and rather than confronting the confusing and alarming reality of that situation, why it must be kenneth, back from the great war! at no point does he understand kenneth is definitely dead

theory: kenneth vs glass brother

i think he really did have a brother named kenneth who probably died in the war. could be some subconscious connection between “recognizing” a corpse as his brother, but i dont think he realizes any of that. i think the glass family is probably a trauma based hallucination, but a... well, reflection. pun not exactly intended lmao. on how his real family was and how they treated him

i dont think glass brother is the same brother as kenneth, since salad fingers interacts with them completely differently 

kenneth is a corpse that salad fingers projects a personality on and speaks for, while glass brother seems independent and malicious toward him. i think he had a good relationship with kenneth (so, when salad fingers imagines that he’s here, it’s cause for celebration and he’s projecting onto something inert and “safe”) and also had another brother (who was probably his twin) who bullied him and acted violently, so when that trauma resurfaces, he hallucinates a vicious Other that he cannot control or speak for.

it also tracks that the abusive brother was his twin - he sees himself reflected in the mirror, and something in his own face reminds him of that lost brother until it “becomes” him

he refers to kenneth as his younger brother, and sees him as a being that does not look like him, while glass brother is literally his reflection, so it would make sense if he had one identical twin and one younger brother 

ive seen theories that he had a real sister named bordois too, but i think him calling the bug “little sister” was just. a term of endearment or one of his little odd language quirks, he seemed to be talking to it more like a pet than like a sibling 

theory: regarding mable

- ok people are saying salad fingers killed mable at the picnic but i Really Don’t Think He Did

we never see him acting out violently when he gets scared. he tends to try to escape situations that stress him out, he shrinks, he cries, he goes into his cupboard (which is. incredibly upsetting given the fact he was almost definitely abused by his family) 

he takes on a kind of Authoritative Tone often, he gets sort of ruffled up and disdainful toward things, but that’s not what he does when he’s scared

when he’s actually distressed (rather than irritated) he tends to break down and retreat. this includes when other independent beings act in ways that unsettle and upset him 

so i dont know where the “he freaked out and killed her” idea is coming from. he suddenly goes from outside at the picnic to having a breakdown in his house so. he most likely just ran 

i think the Only time we see him act out violently is when he decides he has to punish marjory for not getting a haircut like he asked - he tears her hair out, but for me that scene was particularly concerning because it was so unlike him. that was an anger response, not a fear response, though, and he tends to be harsher toward things that he’s actually controlling (I don’t think we ever see him decide to Discipline something that was independent from him other than the horses, and he didnt hurt them) 

ordinarily when something irritates him he just goes “hmph! so distasteful. how rude. i shan’t have this behavior, you know” but doesn’t really actually do anything about it, and moves on

anyway we never see mable again so i think either he freaked out and ran away and she just didn’t come back, or he scared her and she ran away, or both 

there’s a dress visible briefly when salad fingers is making his Flesh Boy which could be mable’s (he did comment he liked it) but it’s not 100% clear, and that doesn’t necessarily mean he KILLED her for it. she could have changed into something else and left it somewhere and he found it. she could have died under unrelated circumstances, and salad fingers found her - he doesn’t comprehend death, so. probably he decided they’ve made amends now and she’s given him her dress as a token of friendship, or something 

i dont think it really looks that significantly like hers but the fact that it stands out so distinctly from the rest of the Pile could mean something 

but i just feel like if he had killed her we would’ve seen her corpse again, he doesn’t have a concept of murder, or death at all, or consequences, and his memory doesn’t hold out that consistently, so if he killed her, he probably would have calmed down later and then forgotten what he did and came up with a new way to explain the corpse in front of him - oh, how rude of me, mable’s here dozing right off and i havent even offered her a blanket. let’s get you to bed

like, he probably would have dragged her home with him, with the intention of being a good friend/host to his guest, not understanding what happened. he kept milford cubicle around a really long time  

it wouldn’t be like him to have any concept of hiding the evidence

speaking of milford 

theory: regarding milford cubicle 

salad fingers keeps milford’s corpse around until it starts rotting, and then after a very confusing series of events, the corpse is suddenly a skeleton, which surprisingly alarms salad fingers considerably, and then he goes out to find a whole bunch of himselves eating various bits of gore. they give him a present, which is a hat very clearly made of milford’s skin 

my conclusion: salad fingers, in some kind of dissociative fugue state, skinned and ate the remains of milford cubicle himself and turned the remaining skin into a hat. he also saves some of it to make hubert cumberdale (the real boy) later as well, probably forgetting where it came from. he does not realize he’s done this or remember doing it, so his scrambled mind tries to make sense of it with other selves eating unknown flesh, and a lovely hat appearing (which he doesn’t seem to notice is made of flesh) 

you can also see milford’s original name tag in the drawer later on when he’s building the flesh boy, so. he kept that after the mysterious disappearance of milford’s flesh, apparently. more evidence that that skin is probably also his

some other scattered thoughts regarding the most recent string of episodes and salad fingers’ mental state: 

ive been trying to figure out what the fuckhell happened with the yvonne incident and everything that happened in the birthday episode

im really concerned for salad fingers’ health and mental state, as it seems to be deteriorating 

some yvonne theories ive seen:

1. he ate the burned corpse of the kid who died in the oven, and it made him very sick, which ultimately resulted in a charred mass he couldn’t digest - he steadily gets worse, until his body finally ejects it (yvonne’s “birth”) and after that his health starts to recover again. since the oven incident happens really early on, all the times he mentions his stomach being upset after that until he becomes deathly ill would make sense, so i think this is plausible 

2. the hair he found in the cupboard was actually a parasitic worm that grew in his stomach after he ate it and became yvonne. i think this is Possible, it is a really strangely wormy looking hair, but it doesn’t move and he mentions stomach pains before this, so it seems less likely to me 

3. i also saw the concept that salad fingers is a trans man who suffered a miscarriage at some point in his past and yvonne represents that, and i can definitely see where the idea is coming from but i do think something really physically happened to him in the present time, i dont think it was all a trauma-based hallucination, since the yellow guy reacts to the black ooze and something was definitely making him severely ill 

so. i Don’t Know what the fuck that was about but i think the burnt corpse theory makes the most sense 

on that note: there’s a lot of cannibalism imagery in salad fingers 

we have no IDEA where he’s getting food from. im pretty sure its been confirmed that he is Not a zombie, we see him bleed, pass out, sleep, etc so it seems like he must be a living person who has ordinary needs. but we see him eat... his own puppets. hairs. sand. the soup glass mother instructed him to make, which made him very sick. he has a working oven but doesn’t seem to have consistent access to water. he had a fish somehow but who knows where it came from. it’s very likely he doesn’t get food often and some of his hallucinations and mood swings could be caused by starvation (and when he does eat, it’s things that are outright inedible or probably not good for him) 

the burned corpse disappears and is never mentioned again (though salad fingers is very sick afterward). milford’s flesh disappears and salad fingers violently hallucinates multiple selves gorging themselves on unknown flesh

and what concerns me the most about that is that he loses a lot of time in that episode 

he passes out in the woods and when he wakes up, it looks like a shit ton of time has passed

we don’t know how much is reality and how much is his warped perception, but it looks like a tree has grown and his physical condition has deteriorated 

he looks really, really unhealthy and haggard for the rest of the episode 

i think he had a huge dissociative episode and lost possibly weeks of time, probably due to starvation, and he ate milford cubicle and very possibly other people as well 

so my question is. how often does this happen to him

and what happens to him during that state? does he become violent and dangerous without being aware of it when he returns to himself again? or has he just been ravenously scavenging corpses when he gets desperate enough? 

its possible dr papanak is another personality he has, one that’s “buried out in the woods” that he becomes when he’s in a really, really bad mental and physical state 

he looks much better in the next episode (though that’s also when he has his outburst with marjory. could be that he’s still staving off the violent urges/hasn’t fully come back to himself after the last incident) and I’m really hoping the fact that he was able to finally stand up to his family (at least in some sense) and smash the mirrors could mean he’s making steps toward recovery after whatever the hell all that was 

there’s not really much space to do anything with his life or get much help given the circumstances but watching him slowly losing himself even more is Awful :( 

i hope we get more episodes im so desperate for more information now 

lastly, some random observations 

i tried to read this newspaper and it looks like it’s actually written in french, which is interesting given that salad fingers seems to be british (but fond of france, and seems to speak french or at least knows one phrase) 

i wonder where he got this, or whether it ever meant something significant to him

theres a lot of evidence that he can’t read (takes no notice of the “harry” nametag and immediately names him something else, “reads” a letter that is actually a newspaper clipping in another language he’s holding upside down, “writes” a letter that is just scribbles) so i dont think he learned his one french phrase from this or anything but, still. vaguely interesting. maybe he has been to france before and brought this back with him for some reason. maybe he’s actually in post apocalyptic france and was just originally from england. We Don’t Know 

theres a weird little face in the. heater? whatever that is in the background for a second and i dont like it  

salad fingers leaves horace in charge, but then sees him (as a live horse) in the woods, but then comes back to find him both still on the shelf (as a toy) and in the room (as a live horse, now with his, uh, surgery scars) but doesn’t seem to notice this and doesn’t comment on it 

i dont know what the hell that means other than possibly his reality is even less consistent and logical than usual/a reflection on his mental state deteriorating 

[selfwriting-sugarquills]

70 Fred Weasley headcanons in celebration of 700 followers:

(plus an extra one, for the heck of it lmao) 

You guys, thank you so much for 700 followers! I appreciate every single one of you and writing for the twins has been such a blast so far, much to the thanks of all of you <3 

Find the 70 George Headcanons: Here

Fred has always been really good at sleight of hand stuff, as a kid, he could do card tricks with ease, steal baked goods from his mother’s kitchen and later on since his allowance wasn’t exactly anything to brag about, he’d steal sweets from honeydukes' on Hogsmeade trips, with the help of George, he’s not proud of it but in his defence, he was a stupid teenage boy at the time. 

Fred is incredibly competitive and will hold onto anything you challenge him to for way longer than you might think. He’s definitely the type to “race you” anytime you’re headed to herbology, care against magical creatures or Hogsmeade together.

As the man himself said in the deathly hallows, Fred doesn’t like the idea of a big grandiose wedding ceremony, he’d prefer something more low-key and simple, where the focus is more on having fun and celebrating instead of neat seating plans and meticulously chosen decorations. Some flowers and booze will do, he’ll provide the fireworks - In essence, he only needs his S/O and the rest he couldn’t care less about. 

George may be better at cooking, but Fred makes a damn good pancake and he will forever pride himself on that. 

Fred is the more jealous, overprotective twin. He’s aware of this and tries his best not to let it go to his head but he can’t help it. 

Fred snores, I’m pretty sure it’s canon that both twins snore, but Fred is louder and, as mentioned in my last headcanon post, a very heavy sleeper meaning it’s more difficult to get him to wake up so he can stop, your best shot is trying (and probably failing) to turn him over. 

Fred is also a very restless sleeper, he’ll toss and turn, and occasionally dream about quidditch. I’m saying you might want to be aware that he might confuse you for a bludger in his sleep, don’t worry though, he’ll always apologise profusely and make it up to you with a lot of kisses (and maybe a bit more than that, if you’re keen ;)) 

Fred has an extensive caffeine addiction, which is unfortunate cause he’s quite hyper already but he can’t function properly until he gets his coffee in the morning, and then again in between lessons/at lunch and then again late in the afternoon. Sometimes, if he needed to write an essay that was due, he’d drink coffee at like nine pm. He knows he won’t be able to sleep because of it, please, Y/n, he’s accepted his fate. 

I personally always imagined the twins as having ADHD, idk why it just fits their characters. Fred is for sure the more outwardly fidgety and intrusive, this gets less and less with age, as it does for a lot of ADHD people, his inability to focus remains the same though. 

Fred loves being outside, he’s the first of the Weasley siblings to suggest a game of quidditch or just going outside for walks, hide and seek in the woods near their house. He absolutely loves taking his dates on walks in parks or at the beach and when he has kids he plays with them in their yard, building snowmen etc. 

Fred probably suggests at some point that the whole family should go camping, and he’s actually really fun to camp with. He’ll tell the best scary stories by the campfire. 

In regards to children, Fred wants a lot of kids. Like at least three but would be willing to have more if his s/o wants to. He just really likes the dynamic of a large family since that’s what he’s used to. 

Fred’s favourite flavour of sweets is anything sour, the sourer the better, because of this he can handle it really well and he loves handing people some of his ridiculously sour candy and watching them squirm. 

He also really likes spicy food, he’s a bit of a daredevil so don’t challenge him to eat anything because he will eat a whole chilli and nearly die. 

 You know he’d be really casual about it too, lol, like sweating and crying but just leaning on the counter like “*pant* what? hot? no not at all *deeeeep breath* I can ha-aw-rdly taste it!” 

One thing about Fred is that he’s oddly squeamish, like seeing his brother’s ear blown off isn’t so bad (if you don’t take into account the emotional trauma that is), but a needle for a blood sample or a vaccine? oooh, he’s gonna need a big juice box and a cookie and his s/o’s hand to hold if he’s gonna make it through. He also has a thing about leeches. One time at Hogwarts they were mentioned in a lesson and he thought he was going to faint the entire time. 

Fred’s broken five bones over the years, four are from quidditch: his left arm and two ribs, and then the other arm from trying to do an elaborate stunt on the stairs in the burrow and falling down two flights. 

Fred loves to sing karaoke (because I cannot get that damn clip of James singing karaoke out of my head) though he particularly enjoys doing a very poor job on purpose. 

Fred is such a good liar that on several occasions he’s given presentations in school and gotten good marks for them despite having bullshat his way through the entire thing. 

Like seriously, he’s that guy in the group project who only looks at the slides like five minutes before the presentation and then just turns on a full charming newscaster voice on the professor to the point of them being genuinely convinced (albeit a little confused) that what Fred’s saying is true. 

This is also why Fred loves playing card games like poker: he’s really good at bluffing. 

Speaking of poker-face, he’s really quite good at teasing in public (if you’re into that sort of thing *wink*) because no matter the dirty deeds he might get up to under a table, his face remains as regular as always (safe for a little smirk to his lover every now and then) 

Fred always wanted to learn an instrument, he thought it’d make him cooler when he was a teenager, as an adult, he just really wants to recreate that clip of the trombone-playing dad with the sunglasses, or maybe serenade some cows with jazz or something. 

Fred was never a big fan of the uniform thing, so he always tried to make it his own, whether that be tying the tie differently, or having his sleeves rolled up; it’s not much but you gotta take what you can get when you’re literally dressed the same as everyone else. 

Fred might make fun of his dad’s interest in muggle things but secretly he loves it too. He has spent a lot of hours in the shed with Arthur, assuring everyone that it was just to have some quality time with his dad but he would still pay close attention when Arthur explained things to him. 

Fred had a whole business of selling candy from Honeydukes’ and joke products from Zonko’s to second and first years before he and George started dabbling with their own products, he could get you a butterbeer too but it’ll cost you an extra three galleons. 

Fred really likes glitter, George has a thing for lace, anything that glitters on his s/o makes Fred weak. If you want to get your way just put on some glittery eyeshadow or lipgloss and watch him spin. 

Since he loves things that glitter and gleam he loves buying his s/o jewellery, he loves seeing them wearing them as little tokens of their relationship. 

Did someone say slight possession kink? oops not me

Fred is incredible with numbers, this is pretty much canon and has been explored but I’m just amazed at this boy’s wit AND intellect. I have a slight headcanon that if he ever goes on a proper first date with someone where a bill is involved, he impresses his date by calculating the tip after just a glance.

Even if Fred has a longstanding reputation of not caring about school, when he has kids he does want to help them with any coursework over the summer and Christmas breaks, he’ll even study up on his old books just to be able to help out in any classes he didn’t take/didn’t pay attention in. 

Fred would, in general, be an amazing father. He’s goofy and playful most of the time, though he’s serious and incredibly caring whenever his kids are in a bad mood or have problems. He knows that he’s not the most outwardly emotional of the twins but he makes sure his kids know they can always talk to him about anything. 

Fred is incredibly messy. His room is usually a cry for help and he only cleans it when it gets to the point where it distracts him from focusing on work. 

No worries though, his S/O doesn’t have to do all the housework for him, he’ll do it. He just needs to be reminded that he needs to every once in a while. 

Fred has a really bad temper, he doesn’t know where he gets it from but he tends to get angry easier than George, though Fred is better at letting it out so it doesn’t continue to bother him. 

His bad temper does mean that he used to brawl more with siblings as a kid, and it wasn’t unusual to see him with scrapes and bruises as a kid, much to Molly’s dismay. Fred didn’t mind though, he thought it made him look tough. 

Fred is more likely to get caught sneaking around because of his brash nature, he tends to forget just how quiet you have to be to avoid Mrs Norris in the corridors. 

Fred is certainly not an early bird but his favourite time of day is, in fact, the morning when the sun’s coming up. He only knows this because of Wood’s ridiculously early quidditch practices but there’s something about the way the world looks when it’s bathed in soft golden light that just hits different to Fred. 

Fred is a great team player, as much as he seems like he’s more selfish than George, if it’s regarding a team activity (like quidditch or a battle of sorts) he’ll completely lose all focus on himself and only try to ensure other’s safety and victory. This is also why he plays as a beater, he’s not afraid of getting hit at all when he’s focused on getting the bludgers away from his teammates. 

So if his s/o ever needs it, he’ll be there to help with anything: Needs to take a day off from work to take care of his sick s/o? no problem. Needs to stay up with his small child because his s/o is exhausted and needs rest? On it. Something as small as carrying groceries or books, making a cup of tea when the other is busy or doing the dishes is all on the list of things that Fred will happily do for his s/o, and often without having to be asked, he’ll just do it. 

Fred’s boggart is seeing his family members and/or his s/o hurt beyond what he can save. Essentially his worst fear is being helpless when he needs it most. 

One of those times was when George lost his ear. The first night when George was lying practically unconscious on the couch with blood everywhere was the worst night of Fred’s life, he truly felt so anxious and helpless and angry that he vomited and ended up passing out next to the couch after staying up till sunrise watching his brother like a hawk. 

He didn’t just sleepwalk when he was younger, he also often experienced nightmares, it’s only George, Molly and Arthur who remembers anything about this. 

They got less and less the older he got and he assumed that he’d never be bothered by them again until after the second wizarding war and the battle of Hogwarts. 

I don’t like to headcanon that he dies cause he didn’t and that’s final lol. I do, however, headcanon that Fred still gets hurt, since everyone in the explosion beside him seemed to sustain minor injuries, I just think that to even out with George losing his ear, he hurts his leg and needs a lot of retraining/a walking stick. I think that’d be a more fair/unfair ending for Fred who’s always full of energy having to have to adjust to living slowly for a little while (not permanently, I couldn’t do that to my boy). 

The boy has anxiety sometimes, ok. (just let me project for a second)

He didn’t know how much tension he usually holds in his body until he drank alcohol for the first time and felt his entire body loosen up and was like “huh this is new.” 

He doesn’t use alcohol to deal with it though, he prefers just talking to George about whenever he feels is stressing him out and that helps. A massage from his s/o to loosen him up doesn’t hurt either. 

Fred prefers to talk to his dad about his problems more than he prefers to talk to Molly, generally. 

His favourite body parts on his s/o: Shoulders, hips, hands. 

He loves to kiss, just in general, but he also loves kissing his s/o’s nose, forehead, neck, shoulder, etc. as little gestures of affection. 

He def. has a bit of a size kink, he loves being taller than his s/o. 

If Fred could have any pet he wanted, he’d probably want a dog, the bigger the better. He doesn’t think he has the time for a pet though. 

It was his idea to start breeding pygmy puffs, it’s the closest he’ll get to having a pet. 

I don’t know why but I feel like when Fred and his s/o are expecting and his s/o goes into labour he just panics. loses it, drops the binkie as we say in Denmark: Freaks the fuck out, if you will. He’s definitely the pacing and wringing his hands together type, though he probably tries his best to keep himself composed and chill during the whole thing whilst simultaneously hyperventilating. 

Fred doesn’t cry often but he sure as hell wept with pride when he held all his kids for the first time. 

Despite the notion that the twins often slip in a joke version of a sweet treat or something similar amongst the snacks at parties, Fred is strongly against tampering with drinks. He knows the connotations it holds and he doesn’t want anyone to be afraid they’d put something in it. If he wants you to test out their truth serum or a love potion, he’ll just ask you flat out and if you don’t want to, he’s not going to continue asking. 

Most of the detentions Fred has gotten from Snape come from times he’s spoken back to him when Snape’s been giving another student a rough time. He doesn’t regret it one bit. 

 If you ask Fred what his proudest accomplishment is, he’ll probably say that it’s having had enough restraint to not punch Umbridge in the face every time he saw her. 

On the note of Umbridge. It wasn’t her detentions with him that got his blood boiling, it was when she punished little kids (a la Nigel) for doing practically nothing, he understands that to an extent and by comparison, setting off a bunch of fireworks inside a building would harbour a harsher punishment, but making twelve-year-olds bleed for running in the halls or playing music or just doing things that twelve-year-olds will inevitably do, is something Fred doesn’t understand. That year pretty much any kid younger than him, or anyone who was too afraid to stand up for themselves, became Fred and George’s little siblings, and they’re very protective older brothers. Umbridge can vouch for that. 

He struggles with a lot of insecurity in his relationships, he always puts on a front of being extra funny and outgoing when he’s in a new relationship because he’s secretly afraid that the way he is isn’t good enough and that eventually, his s/o will see through him and leave because they don’t like the softer, more serious side of him. 

Fred is the godfather of all of George’s kids but is also the godparent of Hugo, Lily and Lucy. 

Fred loves business meetings, he sees them as a good challenge to practice his smooth talk. 

Fred spent his first salary from the shop on the most expensive bottle of champagne he could find and a new suit. 

Fred tried to get into whiskey, feeling like it’d make him a cool business owner type of man, so, with his second salary, he went out and bought a fancy-schmancy bottle of whiskey and the whole getup with a bottle and some cool glasses, and then invited Lee over to try it with him and George. 

They did not like it. Fred thought it tasted like what he imagined gasoline tastes like so they mostly used it as decorations, not having the heart to mix it with something. 

Fred doesn’t necessarily like PDA, it depends on what you mean. He likes being secretive. Pulling his s/o into an empty classroom, nook, hallway, secret pathway etc where anyone could wander in at any time and snogging her senseless is one of his favourite things to do. 

Fred knows how good he looks in his quidditch uniform and will absolutely use it against his s/o. (they’re gonna get spicy from here on so read with caution if you're in public)

Fred prefers giving more than receiving oral. 

He has a lot of energy, did you not think that would rub off (no pun intended) on his sex drive? He can go pretty much any time and place, and typically last at least two rounds. 

Also, his favourite position is having you on top. Okay, I'm gonna stop now. 

[bardicbird]

hi I’m thinking about cad again and self projecting or whatever so I’m just gonna ramble on my thoughts abt his childhood and shit

(i don’t know if this is going to be especially triggering, but i am discussing my interpretation of his backstory, which includes)

//angst// //dissociation// and //weight mention/body image// so be safe :]

so like. this boy grew up as the ‘weird one’ in the family until his younger sister was born, and i take that to mean a couple different things. first of all: weak boy. we already know he had some troubles being born but like,, sir you are a stick. he’s also a lot paler than his siblings, and has the white hair. nothing to ,, alienate him exactly, but when you’re a very perceptive person like cad, you tend to latch onto small reactions and treat them like utmost truth. i have my own personal headcanons for his neurodivergency, but either way he definitely grew up a bit more offbeat than his family, leading him to sort of settle into a slightly muted version of himself. he wasn’t,,, hiding himself from them, or lying outright, but the really weird thoughts were pushed down and saved for when he was alone; he also ended up dying his hair.

being in a big family is weird, especially as the sensitive and perceptive kid. you tend to notice others emotional states easier, and because of that, end up trying to help in your own ways. but, when you’re the one always helping and being the ‘nice kid’, it’s hard to show your own vulnerablility. we know cad said he had a ‘small house’ (which. yeah gross) but i also take that to mean that he didn’t really get a lot of space to himself ! there wasn’t a lot of time to just. let himself go and feel something, especially with the push to meditate until tranquility, which is a lovely thing, but can also cause you to avoid problems instead of talking them out. it was a small house; someone would hear him if he cried.

and then, people started leaving. and cad, not the youngest but the one chosen to stay behind, was left alone. for ten years. he probably replied heavily on routines: tending to the grove, making tea, checking for any visitors, making more tea, grab something small to eat, check the status of the forest etc. of course, people did come to see him sometimes, but they were all mourning. the only contact he had with anyone (aside from the few ventures out for supplies) was with people who were depressed, angry, and needed his help to guide them. he spent all of his time either alone, or helping terribly sad people. he couldn’t even talk to the foliage, as it had slowly been corrupting.

spending your time around depressed people makes you depressed. especially as an empathetic and sensitive person. at some point, probably not too far into his isolation, he started running on auto pilot. tend the grove, make some tea, help people, sleep a few hours, wake up and do it all again tomorrow. when Taliesin introduced him as ‘not necessarily healthily thin’ i just,, whoo yeah that’s a boy who’s already naturally skinny, but forgets to eat because he’s literally. been alone for ten years... eventually, when the nein found him he seemed,, dissociated, to say the least. part of this is probably just cad’s general demeanor, but he was stopping halfway through sentences, switching topics, forgetting his own words. he wandered off some point in the middle of a conversation with nott to look for flowers. it was almost like he didn’t fully register that they were there, and when he did venture outside the grove? almost immediately got overwhelmed as hell.

and then he adjusted. gradually. he still isn’t fully comfortably in this group, but they feel like a family. a family that cad could be more truthful to than his own parents,, because, other people were offbeat here. they thought he was nice, and they needed his help. another group of mourners,, but this time it was a little different. he wanted to stick around, and the idea of going home, back to his family felt.. wrong. he loved his family, and he missed them, but he felt like a watered down version of himself before meeting the nein. if he had to go back, get used to the family routines again, be seen as the younger, weird brother would it feel right? he was needed, with the nein, they thought he was wise, and accomplished. something he never really felt at home.

I’m going to stop rambling now bc i feel like that’s enough for one post but god. i didn’t even talk about his relationship towards death, or how he views faith as an escapism from choice and consequences, because he’s so afraid that he’ll do something wrong so he just asks the wildmother instead .. can u tell I’m hyperfixated lmao