#man this was a lot of writing
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Just three freaky flatmates sharing their views on men. Two of them are having flashbacks too!
#they've been feeding each other's kinks since day 1#logan shares his deepest desires a lot more easily when he thinks wade can't hear#wade shares his when he knows that logan can hear#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#james logan howlett#blind al althea#poolverine#deadclaws#peanutbub#old man yaoi#imagine your otp#otp prompts#writing promt#marvel memes#mcu avengers edits#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#deadpool x wolverine#mischievous thunder
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HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!
#tiger tiger#ludovica bonnaire#remy bonnaire#jamis arlesi#This comic has been on my radar for *years* and I only recently - finally - sat down to read it. And by god is it amazing.#I don't want to spoil anything! But if you like amazing art and character writing *and* high seas adventure? READ TIGER TIGER.#If you asked my who my favourite character is I could not tell you. I truly like them all!!!#I even like the sleezeball who has less charm than a dead rat. He's *my* darling little rat man. With every disease.#A special shout out to my lad (he is the lad of all time) Jamis Arlesi.#Who - upon walking into frame makes me go 'Sir! Is your bosom too heavy? Do you need a new bra? My hands are free on Thursdays!'#And Ludo! My lass! I love her dearly! Every page made me more fond of her.#Book smart and uses it in very good ways! Naive enough to think it is all she needs! Learns a lot and stays kind through the horrors!#I could go on and on but...you...the person reading this...you *are* going to read it - aren't you?#So I'd hate to spoil you any more! Go read Tiger Tiger! Do it! For the sea sponges!#Rumour has it they are also freshly divorced. It was messy. Sea sponge needs a distraction. That could be you. Distracting that sponge.#You wont know until you click that link and start reading!
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high spice tolerance, my ass
(old man smut)
#storytime: I've been sitting on these drawings for months bc I wanted to write the interview and post them with it#but oh lordt it's an endeavor and a half bc the questions they ask on that progrum are incredibly unique and precise#I'd have to think up a lot of lore#and research a ton of stuff for the replies#and also I'd have to think up AU sean hotones but that's easy I'd just give him a full head of hair#I have ONE question and answer written down and maybe one day will write more who knows#he's one of the bitches to bring in a friend (emotional support husband & bestie stepkid who squats in his NY place anyway)#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#act verse#old steddies#man's 90% eyeball 10% scribble tattoos
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DPxDC Changeling AU pt.2
This idea got me in a chokehold, so I'm here to add more.
I'm sticking with the 'Talia outplayed the fae in order to acquire 2for1 deal of babies' for this one and probably for any later continuations.
Damian knows his brother is not human. He knew it from the very beginning since no one bothered to hide the fact. Yet Danyal grows up just like any other human baby, acting like a child he is supposed to be. He trains by Damian's side, he eats just like everyone else, he likes the stories and lessons their Mother teaches them both.
But Damian knows. His brother is no human. He sees it in the way Danyal tilts his head like a curious bird, in his swift, flowing movements that remind him of snakes, in his eyes that reflect the moonlight in a way cat's eyes do. He knows it by how some of the assassins lose their names to his brother and how Danyal never lies but also never tells the truth.
More than that, he sees it in the way Danyal smiles. Others would call that smile a mischievous one, but Damian sees no mischief in there.
He sees amusement.
And it drives him up the wall.
So he trains. He works harder than ever to prove himself better. He is worth not just simple amusement, he is the Heir, the Son of the Bat, he demands respect, even from his brother. Danyal will never take his place - not that he even could, Grandfather would never allow an unpredictable being to become the next Demon Head.
And he learns, from his Mother and from the old books, and sometimes from Danyal himself. He learns of customs and rules, of names and wordings, of odds and debts, and of tricks and riddles.
Damian has his own pride, and he wants to show it to his brother. To see the amused smile fade from his face, to make Danyal understand he is not just a weak mortal who's been simply allowed to exist beside his brother.
He wants to defeat Danyal.
And one day, he does.
Danyal is on the floor, and there's no smile on his face. Instead, in his eyes he sees the calm tranquility of a lake, frozen to the bottom, as he looks at Damian. And Damian? Damian grins, victorious at last.
Yet it is only after Danyal stands up and leaves a soft, cold and barely noticeable kiss to his forehead before disappearing in the shadows, that Damian realises:
His brother never asked to have his name.
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#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp#damian wayne#damian al ghul#danyal al ghul#fae#changelings#twins au#fae au#i'm in love with this au#btw danny did steal a lot of names in loa#he tried to steal ra's but the man never gave him the actual name#the tricky bastard#after this danny just leaves#no one can find him#he is a fae#you cant find him if he doesnt want to#cork writes#cork prompts
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss#sqq#lbh#my art#which is honestly just to say that i've finished the other two print books i was reading#and am now prepared to leap feet first into svsss bk4#i succeeded in holding off for an entire two weeks. i have the conviction of a wet paper towel.#lets see bk4 was described as - what? - an ''angst and smut pile''??#i am very much looking forward to this#i was promised a story with my snake boy#because i am very much not over zhuzhi-lang's fate so this had better be A REALLY NICE HAPPY ONE FOLKS#anyway have sqq and lbh cuddling and reading as i project on them#i like to assume that as time goes on sqq is able to relax his persona a bit more around lbh#i think he should get to cuddle and bitch about shitty novels#but man sqh is really the ONLY source of any books that have an even slightly modern cadence/style i have a feeling sqq would be very keen#though if i'm being honest i really wonder if sqh could ever bring himself to write fiction again#if you're A Writer it tends to be hard to RESIST you just get an itch to tell a story#but also like... the fear that all of this could happen again... or that the characters you're creating might be REAL and SUFFERING...#yeah... i honestly suspect he can't write anymore and that it honestly probably sucks a lot... but for the sake of this joke he is :P
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Missed drawing these two too
Bonuses
#rendoc#still thinking about them a lot#always#hermitshipping#sorry for the weird empty area in the first one. It was my attempt to make it take up less of people's timelines#this art is so embarrassing lol but man I like when Doc's drawn as a big goat man I have no defense I plead the fifth#or well at least it becomes embarrassing when its. shippy#whatever Tumblr people are usually cool so here goes!!#I am 99% a fluff and hurt/comfort person. Idc how frisky these guys get in fanon all I can ever think of is fluff sorry#Also contemplated implementing Doc's accent into the dialogue but I am forever paranoid of offending someone lol#idk how to write accents etc but you guys will make it sound fine in your heads I'm sure#hermitblr#tubby art
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Misfortune Teller
tldr: An older Danny, apprentice to Clockwork, does a lot of field work across dimensions, resetting the timeline, queuing future events, and who knows what else. Occasionally, he warns people about such upcoming possibilities, to set them on the right path. How, you might ask? Well in this case... as a wandering fortune teller.
Crack-fic (oh god, it's getting long and my logic brain won't let it remain as crack) where Danny becomes Clockwork's apprentice after getting his GED. Living his infinite afterlife to the fullest. Inspired by this tumblr post.
Working for Clockwork had been... interesting so far. At first, Danny got frustrated by how vague and cryptic Clockwork was. He'd just shunt Danny off to some ancient time with a few words, his own time medallion (Danny carried it everywhere with him now), and then pop back into the portal, leaving Danny with only the faintest idea of where to go.
Eventually, after enough time (ha!) spent around Clockwork, Danny figured out that it just basically meant that he had free reign and to do whatever he wanted. Because if he went on the wrong path, (like that one time in Pompeii when he had almost caused the volcano to explode a few years too early), Clockwork would just pop on by, say another few cryptic words, and then it'd all be fine and dandy, or as he liked to say, "All is as it should be... Now stop practicing your wail by an active volcano."
After telling Jazz about that (it was supposed to be funny, not concerning), she just sighed and shook her head, with a forlorn "think before you act, Danny!" but hey, it'd turned out fine so far, so who cares how he does what Clockwork asks him to do, as long as it gets done, right? Even if it's with a liiiiitle more mischief than strictly required.
Besides. Danny was the one who had been doing time shenanigans across millennia, not Jazz. And he thought he'd been getting pretty good at it too! He'd actually started giving himself a different made-up background for each universe he visited. Sam and Tucker were helping him keep up with the identities on a spreadsheet, so if he had to go back to one he'd already visited, he'd remember who he'd said he was supposed to be.
---
He was on a call with them one evening while haunting Jazz's apartment, doing just that, when he felt a familiar tingle in the back of his throat, as well as a heightened awareness of the seconds passing by, that always accompanied his mentor's appearance.
Sam was talking about his past stint posing as a god of death when he cut in. "Hey- sorry to interrupt, Sam- Clocky's here, guys, I gotta dip."
"Aw, come on! We hardly talked any this past week since you passed your certifications, man," Tucker complained.
Danny rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yeah, yeah. Partly on you too though, you've been caught up outside of class, and Sam's schedule is nearly the opposite of yours."
Sam hummed in agreement despiter Tucker's scoff.
Danny missed hanging out with them as much as they had in high school, but hey, life goes on. Or at least, theirs did, to college. After finally flunking out of Casper High, he'd taken some time to get used to his responsibilities in the ghost zone, and when he had, he realized that he didn't really have much enthusiasm or timeleft for his human life.
And he didn't really want to go back home either.
But Jazz had made him tie up any loose ends before he noped-off to god knows where, which frankly, he had to thank her for. Getting his GED took a few years, but it was an accomplishment that could be attributed to Danny Fenton, no ghostliness required. Then he was able to let that tether go free.
Pulled out of his musings by a few more grumbles from Tucker, Danny said his goodbyes, promising to call the next time they were all available.
After hanging up, Danny swiveled around, anticipation already lighting up his eyes an ethereal green.
Clockwork, for his part, had been waiting patiently through Danny's lengthy goodbyes. Although he supposed that it tracked for the watcher of time to be patient. With his job, it'd be a nightmare if he wasn't.
"Phantom," Clockwork spoke, calm as always. "I have some tasks I need you to complete as my apprentice."
And Danny, always ready for adventure, didn't need him to explain any further. "Sure! When do you need me to be?"
Clockwork smiled at that. "I am fortunate you are eager. Follow me."
---
Danny popped into existence in this universe with a burst of cold air and static electricity. He found himself hovering by a clocktower above a sprawling, gothic city. Smog and light pollution obscured the stars above him, to his disappointment. He comforted himself with the fact that he'd probably have all the time he wanted to fly someplace less populated to see them later.
He started off by familiarizing himself with the city. As he flew, he followed the trail of power and met the resident city-spirit, a spooky- but kind underneath- woman draped in black lace, who told him her name was Gotham. He spoke in length with her about this universe, its heroes, and her knights. On that, she was very enthusiastic... or at least Danny thought she was, her projected emotions belaying much more than her gloomy exterior. She told him how her knights had been through a lot and would need some guidance fighting the darkness that pooled in her deepest corners, smiling with too much glee, filling lungs with fear, and terrorizing with cold hard bullets.
Danny could sense that the dangers she spoke of were growing in power, ever slowly. The longer they shadowed people's minds and hearts, an intangible thing grew that lent them more otherworldly pull than their physical forms had right to hold.
That must be what he was sent here for.
But... they were weak, pitifully so for him, infinite king as he was. And besides, he wasn't here in that sense. He was a messenger, a simple apprentice. And he could do this however he wanted.
Cue his talk with Lady Gotham, and subsequent idea to arm her knights. With what? Well, he figured knowledge would be a start. Flying high above the city invisibly, Danny noticed a sea of colors and lights by what appeared to be the city's pier. He flew down, noting that it appeared to be the setup spot for a travelling circus or carnival of some kind.
He considered what to do. One of Lady Gotham's troubles was a madman clown, right? Well maybe he'd be attracted to his ilk here... and with the danger came the knights. Maybe he could catch one of them here?
Danny was floating around at the entrance and beginning to formulate a plan when a flyer caught his eye. Looking for a mystic to read fortunes. URGENT!
Hadn't Clockwork said something about fortunes? And he hadn't made an identity in this universe yet...
A mischievous smile crept across Danny's face, splitting it in two with far too many teeth.
---
Half a city away, a man in all black, perched on the very same clocktower that Phantom had Appeared by, shivered as he felt an ominous premonition about his sanity in the near future...
Said man quickly opened his comms to check in with his many, many kids. Yet even after hearing back from each, he still felt apprehensive.
Somewhere even further, Clockwork laughed.
---
And that's how Danny found himself seated at a fortune teller's booth at a pier in Gotham, two days later, for the Tricksy Traveling Circus's grand opening.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#mine#is-this-even-relatable writes#is-this-even-relatable prompt#writing prompt#i wanna write this#prompt#prompt for me#I welcome anyone who wants to add to it#this is the first time I consider to be actually writing something#I wrote this all in one sitting just now#it WILL be continued... ideally#I am just busy and would rather post a lot of short blurbs than wait and do one long post#reposting this as its own post and removing the other as a comment on the inspo.#I was planning for this to be crack but I can't just let sleeping dogs lie#man fml my dumb brain always wants an explanation for things and can't accept “just because” which would be wayyyy easier
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swear to god if I read another motherfucking fic where these vampires pause to get the lube I am going to have a fucking mental breakdown and chew holes in the walls. i have had it up to here. this is an intervention. this is a come-to-jesus moment. what are you doing. are you thinking about your choices. why are you making them have sex like they're humans instead of weird fucked-up vampire sex. look into my eyes. can you please consider your worldbuilding choices and make ones that are less excruciatingly boring. look at me. you're being the softest beigest pillow if you make them use human lube. i'm serious. i will die on this hill.
fight me in the comments if you disagree or you feel huffy about this, i don't care. come at me, bro, i own the night.
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#none of you will be able to handle chapter 4 of Different For Vampires#you wanna see weird? oh we're GETTING weird#i am in the denny's parking lot ready to throw down about this i'm so fucking serious guys#at this point i feel like i am the patron saint of Weird Supernatural Sex In Fandom#like my one job is to wander into a fandom 15 minutes late with starbucks and look around like :||||#and then announce in public that supernatural beings don't need human lube so why are y'all writing it that way#you're allowed to have them use human lube if it's an exciting scandalous kink about Human Sex#that's the only reason i can justify for it#FREE YOUR MIND MAN!!!!!!!!#like you get me?????
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I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️
#i talk sometimes#art talk#i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately#also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!!#I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me?#i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details#and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself.#it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that#instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder.#i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!!#i just luv art man!!
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I need to chew both of them like a stress toy
#senart#solarballs#i hate them i hate earth (proceeds to draw only them for the rest of the day)#ANYWAY HC#earth changes his clothes a lot but he usually wears tshirts. Or he would just wear same thing until it felt uncomf to be wearing it#its either new outfit every earth day or the same fit for a whole week theres no in between#i have so many thoughts about him man why does my brain always pick these kinds of characters#AND LUNA IM SO SORRY YOUR DESIGN IS SO BLAND 😭😭 ILL DO YOU BETTER NEXT TIME#sigh i totally dont have favorites#i ll write more later man im so hungry rn i cant thinkmn
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Why do you (as in the royal you) as a member of a fandom,, seem to believe that things need to be,,, canon??? in fanfiction??? why would? that ever be? if you wanted to read pure canon, you could,,,, idk,,, read canon? pick up the source material,,, and if you wanted to read pure canon fanfiction just search the ‘canon compliant’ tag. that’s how ao3 works. so silly.
#was it canon when sherlock holmes and his little gay boy kissed on the hogwarts express? prolly not i wouldnt know#i’m not in that fandom#discourse#<- prolly#dcu#batman#would tag the character this is abt but many would hate me if i did that im afraid#batfam#fandom#fanfic#batfamily#batfanon#dc comics#fanfiction#tim drake#timkon#damian wayne#batkids#superfam#they’re involved#like ‘there should be more canon compliant works’ valid criticism there r not a lot#but ‘i hate that anyone writes fanfiction that’s ooc or inaccurate to canon’ is giving old man screaming at clouds energy rn
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Bonus:
It's sin o'clock with the multiversal soulmates
#wade and logan worship each other#they spend a lot of time showering each other with their love and affection#their love is soft and soothing#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wade wilson#james logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#peanutbub#old man yaoi#imagine your otp#otp prompts#writing promt#marvel memes#mcu avengers edits#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#deadpool x wolverine#mischievous thunder
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People will claim that Shen Qingqiu is an unreliable narrator which (ignoring the fact that the story is in 3rd POV) is true, but they make the claim in reference to his thoughts and feelings about Luo Binghe (false) when they should be making it about how he views himself. Cause why is this man so casual about the fact that he became a leading instructor at a prestigious school he just happened to waltz into because he was bored? Why did it take an extra to learn that he actually spent most of Luo Binghe’s time in the abyss doing missions off the peak to run from his grief? Why did we have to find out that, due to their bullying of Luo Binghe, he was every Bai Zhan Peak disciple’s worst nightmare from Shang Qinghua???
#svsss#the thing about sqq#is that a lot of the most memorable main story segments write him like a damsel#and then the extras come in and are like ‘this man has a JOB’#‘he has CHILDREN to raise!’#‘he has MOUTHS to feed!’#ain’t no shrinking violet mourning widow to be found round THESE parts#real men bury their grief with WORK
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Y’all I hate when Miguel is portrayed as the “silent brooding” type in fics. Like yeah he had his brooding moments in the film but canonically he’s so sassy. Literally always has a comeback (maybe not super witty) and yeah he might be a bit awkward and mopey but he’s not shy or quiet. Irritated and grumpy maybe but not silent. He’s a talker and he’s got some sass. Just look at how he talks with Lyla, Peter, and Jess.
I also don’t like when he’s portrayed as “unreasonably cruel”. If that were the case, Peter B. and Jess would not have stood behind him and supported him all those times before the Miles incident. You can tell he really cares deep down when he:
• Lets Gwen join the Spider Society despite his reservations because he knows what it feels like to lose family
• Keeps Lyla around even though all she does is tease him because if he was a jerk he wouldn’t have wanted to put up with that and would have just shut her down instantly
• Carefully holds and watches Mayday while she’s with him instead of recoiling from her
• Tries to patiently explain the spider-verse canon problem to Miles and you can see the sympathy yet determination in his eyes when he tries to reason with Miles about the sacrifices of being Spider-Man
• Shows Miles his most vulnerable and heartbreaking moment as a way to connect with him
• He regularly calls for backup and works in a team instead of just going on his own which shows how much he trusts and appreciates his colleagues
I just wish we could have seen more of his normal interactions with other characters when he’s not dealing with high pressure situations.
(Edit: Yeah he got crazy scary during the Miles chase scene and kicked Gwen out at the end. I’ll admit he’s got a temper. But he was desperate guys. It was life or death to him and linked to his trauma with losing Gabriella. He literally thought another universe would collapse again if he didn’t do anything to stop it, making it partly his fault. It wasn’t just a pride thing. He felt like there was so much at stake and that’s why he went ballistic on Miles, just to make him listen.)
#wow didn’t mean to write this essay but obviously I have some things to say about migue#he’s under a lot of stress and pressure#give him a break#miguel o'hara#across the spiderverse#spiderverse#spider verse#spider man 2099#atsv miguel#miguel headcanons#atsv#Miguel essay#miguel spiderverse
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CATACLYSMIC ☾
INFO: 5252 words..... dr ratio x fem! reader SYNOPSIS: You hate him, of that you're certain. You hate the man behind the alabaster figurehead, and you want to see him unravelled, but you don't know exactly what you do to him. WARNINGS: um alcohol and one kiss. also some swearing but mostly fine AUTHOR'S NOTE: rising from the grave to bring to you this thing i found this in my drafts from who knows how long when I was obsessed with this man (still am). someone help. i can no longer write this much for one fic. what was i on.
Veritas Ratio made it no secret that he despised those who lived in ignorance. He openly shunned those who were stupid enough to turn their eyes from knowledge – they’d be beggars in due time. They didn’t know how the world was governed, and ignorant fools would play victim to fate’s cruel touch.
With this philosophy of his, you often wondered whether or not his ivory figurehead would soon burst with the tumultuous storm of the man’s self importance. You wondered what would lie underneath. Surely, the divine makers would’ve allowed balance in his creation – surely, his face was horribly disfigured in exchange for such otherworldly intelligence.
He was both delightfully astute and horrendously ill mannered at once. Brighter than your entire class combined – your entire university combined, no doubt – but his pretentiousness was overflowing, and you believed he was in dire need of being put in his place.
Arrogant and pretentious were two of the words that came to mind when someone mentioned Dr. Ratio, and you were sure you weren’t the only one who refused to worship his word like the gospel. In turn, he seemed to despise your very existence, as if you were merely a faded annotation in the footnotes of an ancient epic. Vandalising a work of art. A moustache on the Mona Lisa. Circe in the Odyssey, if she’d welcomed sailors with open arms, allowing them to degrade her as they would a common concubine, not a descendant of the gods.
Yet instead of sharing the witch’s beguiling, seductive nature, you only shared her mortal voice. Thin, reedy, quiet, compared to the booming voices of gods. The voice of Veritas Ratio. Your achievements could only pale in comparison to his, and it took everything within you to clap politely as he received his third – fourth? (you weren’t intent on keeping track) – diploma.
God you hated that man. You’d muttered as much under your breath countless times.
“Dr. Ratio is fine. No need to worship me.” he’d once corrected. But the attempt at humour was lost on you as your classmates began to laugh. The divine makers likely brought him into existence just to spite you. Oftentimes, you fought your urges to hurl the nearest textbook at his caricature head and watch the plaster crack, fall to the floor, and reveal his disfigured face.
Not that you’d seen it before – lingered around him enough to see it disappear.
His scorn held no favourites, and certainly not when it came to you. He’d openly dragged your work through the dirt a couple of times before, and it was only a matter of time before he did it again. His words were scalding, leaving burns across your thin skin and leaving your mouth tasting of ash. Your voice, faint and human, fell quiet at his ‘gospel’.
If it weren’t obvious, the hatred was mutual. He’d never admit it outright – he was far beyond these meaningless, trivial things such as immature hatred – but you felt his scathing glare in your soul, even through that perturbing headpiece, and that was enough.
“Have you found it?”
You turn around, meeting the cold, blank, unseeing gaze of his caricature head behind you. It was disconcerting to say the very least, but no one else had asked him about it, so you never pushed him further. None wanted to invoke his wrath, no matter what circumstance. It was a miracle neither of you had exploded at each other yet, but you suspected that he’d gladly put aside any type of loathing he harboured for you so that this project would get done faster.
You were happy to oblige as he took the lead. A free credit was a free credit. But you did have your limits.
“Nope. The text is ancient. I doubt this library has it.”
“Nonsense.” he clicked his tongue, glancing to the side. “I’m asking the professor. Go work on your part.”
Patience is a virtue, as you keep reminding yourself.
“Sure. Let me know if you find anything.” you say instead of the retort that sits on your tongue. False niceties and biting, underhanded remarks. This charade was entertaining, at the very least.
How did everyone love him? There had to be people like you who shared your dislike towards that conceited scholar. With a long suffering groan, you took a seat at one of the plethora of tables in the university’s library, clicked your pen and began to write.
Maybe the reason he despised you so was because of your ideas, arguably the opposite of his own way of thinking. Where his twisted logic, rearranged rationality and pulled apart natural reasoning to formulate new material, you cut and stitched the work of others together to create your own emulations. (Frankenstein's monster. Was that a cliche? For Ratio, it probably was.)
He’d likely scrap what you’d written as soon as he returned, but that didn’t stop you from trying to spite him anyway. You hoped your readings wouldn’t go to waste as you recorded your findings, then started to draft an outline for your project.
The scratch of paper became white nose, your hand struggling to keep up with the pace of your mind – was it even worth it? He’d likely call it worthless, snatch it from you and throw it into the recycling bin, then start writing his own outline. It only angered you further as you frowned at the page, wondering how he’d approach the project.
The thump of a heavy tome on the wooden desk snapped you out of your sombre thoughts.
“Here.” Ratio took a seat at the chair opposite of yours, brushing the dust off the thick text, leafing through its yellowed pages. “I told you they’d have it. You just need to search better.”
You offer him a tight smile. “Noted.” More false niceties, more flat remarks.
Then the figurehead disappears in a blink, and you nearly drop your pen. He barely pays you any mind as he runs a hand through his hair, flipping through the text. You’d heard the rumours of the handsome face beneath the statue, but you’d never have imagined him to be so disgustingly perfect.
Statuesque.
His deep violet locks looked unbelievably soft. His crimson eyes showed laser focus as he scanned the text in front of him, ignoring you completely as he noted something down. After a brief silence where you skim over your outline and he presumably attempts to decipher the undeniably unreadable and ancient text which you were opposed to reading in the first place, he turns to you with a sigh. “What did you do while I was gone?”
“I wrote an outline.” you hand the papers to him begrudgingly, fidgeting with the pen in your hand. You don’t meet his gaze, afraid that his calculating gaze might see too far into your soul.
“This?” his distaste seeps through his tone. You don’t need to look at his face to know that he’s frowning.
You say nothing as he skims through your work, twirling your pen between your fingers.
“...It’s not the worst thing I've ever read.”
Your eyebrows shoot up.
“It’s not good, either.”
You scowl at him.
“I can salvage it.” he nonchalantly throws it back onto the table, returning to the text at hand.
You want to shove his grotesquely perfect face into the book. He really was put on this earth to spite you.
“Don’t just sit there. Go look for texts on criticism of our stance.”
You don’t know how you’re going to find the patience to survive this project. If anything, it irked you further to find that there wasn’t some monstrosity hidden behind that figurehead. In everything he did, he seemed to be inventing new ways to get on your nerves. However, unbeknownst to you, Veritas Ratio held you higher than you gave yourself credit for. He believed your ideas to be invigorating. Refreshing, almost. A welcome reprieve from the same reiterated, chewed, swallowed and regurgitated approaches that your other classmates had.
You weren’t like the rest of the mindless, studying machines at the university. You could be brilliant, and it annoyed him that you didn’t know this. He’d admitted as much to himself before, but he’d never tell you. But it was still not good enough for his standards – far better than what the imbeciles in your class could’ve come up with – but still far behind him. Or so he kept telling himself.
Days passed by without a word from either of you. You were content to write your part in the solitude of your dorm, and he seemed perfectly content mulling over whatever he’d found in that indecipherable ancient text. By the time you’d nearly finished your part, he decided to meet with you once again to share your findings.
His definition of deciding to meet with you meant simply cornering you after class and asking you to follow him.
You started to protest, but he’d already turned and briskly walked out of the classroom, so you groaned and followed after him, winding up in the library again. This time, in a secluded corner with the late afternoon sun pouring through the window, illuminating the small table and workspace with a warm glow.
You wondered how he wasn’t winded after trekking across the entire campus. You certainly were. His muscled build suggested that a mere leisurely walk couldn’t possibly have tired him out. What did he eat? Was he what Nietzsche had in mind when he wrote of the Superman?
“What are you doing? Sit.” he gestures to the seat across from him, and you sink into the armchair, taking out your papers. His headpiece disappears once again, and your breath catches in your throat.
His hair cast a faint shadow across his face, and his eyes seemed to glow. As you leaned in closer, you realised there was a thin ring of gold around his pupils.
“Are you done with your part?” he demands, breaking you out of your trance.
You silently hand over your drafts, watching his eyes flit across your paper. His eyebrows furrow slightly, eyes narrowing, but he remains quiet. Were his eyelashes always this long? They created an indistinct shadow on his cheeks. His skin was pale, fair. Not the sickly kind of pale you thought he’d be. Did he exercise? You wouldn’t be surprised, with all your classmates always fawning over his broad, strong chest and narrower waist.
Was it your imagination, or were his cheeks slightly flushed? It might have been the light.
“It’s deplorable.”
Your heart sinks in your chest as you sit back against the armchair.
“Your ideas are rudimentary. Have you been reading at all?” he sighs, holding his head in his hand. “No matter. I can fix it. I don’t need you to do anything anymore. You can go.”
You stay seated in shock, unable to move. You’ve heard the anecdotes of people crying over being scolded by him, but was he always this harsh?
“You know it’s a group project, right?” you begin before your better judgement can decide against it, “My work is just as important as yours, it doesn’t matter if you think my work is ‘deplorable’. I’m in the same class, I take the same course, I learn the same things as you do, you don’t get to look down on me no matter how stupidly smart you are.”
He raises an eyebrow, unamused. “Why not?”
“Take that stick out of your ass, Veritas Ratio. Get off your high horse.” you snatch your papers out of his hands and take your leave, ignoring his calls of your name.
Were you dramatic? Yes, but not without reason. Given Ratio’s reputation for prioritising academics over everything else, you suspected that it wouldn’t take long for him to find you, either.
You were so wrong.
More days passed with no contact. He didn’t seem to be affected by your dramatics, and never once batted an eye in your direction unless necessary. It seemed your hypothesis of him inventing new ways to get on your nerves was on the track of being proved correct. But if you didn’t do something within the next few days, you trusted him to turn in the project without your name on the paper, resulting in a zero.
He was just as stubborn as you, and though you were nothing compared to him in actuality, you were so close to grabbing his face and forcing him to look at you for who you were.
Seemingly, even in the battle of wits, he seemed to emerge victorious.
“Ratio.”
He barely glances up, engrossed in his writing. “What?”
“Are you done with the project?” Biting the bullet stings your teeth and left a bitter taste on your tongue.
“No. Not yet. Why? You’re finally going to help?”
“Are you going to stop looking down at me?���
The library is nearly empty. The sun is barely a sliver on the horizon, and the voices of students float down the corridor beyond the grand stacks of books, yet you’re here. Why do you bother? Are you really that desperate for his validation?
“Are you going to keep writing such reprehensible work?”
You glare at him. “Guess not.” you turn on your heel.
“You’re absolutely infuriating.” he sighs, leaning back in the armchair. “You’re not aware of what you can do, are you?”
You glare at him. Your chest stings.
He looks at you, then. Truly. His complexion relaxes, and he rubs his temples. “Sit. Let’s go through your part.”
“Why?”
“I mulled it over. Your part is brilliant.”
Your eyes widen.
“But your expression and research is appalling. Have you learned how to write academically at all?”
You’d never simultaneously wanted to slap and kiss a man at once until today. “What happened to getting off your high horse?”
“I got off it. Now sit and listen, I won’t repeat myself.”
You supposed that was the closest to an apology he’d ever give you, so you sat. It pained you, but you did. Besides, he had called you brilliant – your part – but still, you couldn’t force the smile from your face as you listened to his instruction.
“Your ideas in your introduction are well formed, but from there, it all goes downhill. You have to reorder your logic for it to make sense, and we will be deducted points if you don’t elaborate on the principles of your concept first.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “So how would you do it?”
“For one, I’d restart completely and get straight to the point.”
You sigh exasperatedly. “Show me, then, if you’re so good.”
His eyes narrow at you, but he says nothing as he motions for you to come closer.
The librarian was likely too scared to kick either of you out after closing time. Your arguments were heard by all of your neighbouring desks, and whenever there was a break in conversation, it seemed as if everyone held their breath. There was pin drop silence except for the two of you – but neither of you realised it.
He was blunt, and had no idea what you were thinking, but perhaps this is what entrapped him.
You, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about how he had called your ideas brilliant.
You quickly learn how good of a teacher he is. Maybe it’s his forced patience or once-in-a-millenium genuine praise that spurs your decision, but you find yourself so willing to prove yourself, and he finds himself willing to help.
Maybe this wasn’t so bad.
“Just fix it, stop arguing with me. I’m right.”
“Why? Do you know every single thing about our topic?”
“No, but I have four degrees and more experience than you.”
“Jackass.”
“Change it.”
You grumbled another insult under your breath, yawning as you scribbled out the section you wrote and began to reword your thoughts. The sudden quietude was jarring, and as you looked around, you realised the overhead lights were off, the only source of light from the lamps illuminating the desks.
“Is everyone gone?” you ask, sitting up straight and stretching.
“Who cares? Finish up, then we can head back.”
“Fuck you, give me a break. I don’t write at the pace of a robot.”
“Then learn.”
“Fuck you too Veritas Ratio.”
“Expand your vocabulary while you’re at it.”
“Why are you so intent on irritating me?”
“You get irritated easily. Not my problem.”
“If you know I get irritated easily, why do you keep provoking me then? Do you want me to hate you more?”
He seems to pause. Minisculely, almost unnoticeable had your gaze not been trained on him for the past few hours. He had a habit of pausing and furrowing his brows when you said something slightly out of line.
“Just finish the paper. You talk too much.”
You sigh and get back to work as he leafs through his own research.
Amicable silence passes. The night is alive outside, gleaming and glistening with the touch of benevolent gods and whispers of long gone wishes – pearls stitched by fate’s knowing hands.
“I’m done.”
“Show me.”
You pass the paper to him as you watch his expression carefully.
Crimson eyes flit across your work, gold ringed irises flickering in the scarce light. If you could capture the way the light reflected in his eyes in a jar, you think wishfully that you’d stare at it forever; Until the light died out, or it decided to escape the ephemeral glass confines.
But you’d never admit it out loud. It was wishful. If Veritas Ratio could read minds, he would undoubtedly reprimand you.
He clears his throat, and you snap to attention, swatting away your fantasies of stealing and bottling evasive light.
“It’s good.”
You wait for him to speak further, but he says nothing. “Just good?”
“Well, by my standards, no, but for you, it’s good.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I mean,” he leans on the table, forearms flexing. “That you’re finally starting to live up to your potential.”
“Huh?”
He blinks. “What do you mean?”
“What potential?”
He shakes his head absently, almost in disbelief. Forget light, you’d barter with the lady of fate to let you preserve this moment in a frame so that you could glimpse this expression forever. You’d never seen him so dumbfounded and awed at once – you doubt anyone ever has. He’d always been a man of knowing, and whatever he didn’t know, he would find out. Nothing was ever a “maybe,” or a “probably,” it was always absolute. It had to be absolute in his philosophy.
You happened to be the one exception.
“You’re not aware of the potential you have?”
“You think I have potential?”
“Aeons,” he murmurs under his breath, before standing and gathering his belongings. “I’m going to bed. See you in class tomorrow. We’ll finish up then.”
He leaves before you have the chance to question him, but as you slump back in your armchair, you can’t help but smile.
Potential was as close as you’d ever get to a compliment from Veritas.
—
The lady of fortune and lady Themis looked him in the eyes and saw their mortal emanator at his birth. He’d never been certain what he was made for, but he never let it burden him. Things like these weren’t made for him to ponder, that was up to the dreamers and inventors.
He was a being of logic. A doctor of calculations and reason, and everyone knew him as such.
But he simply couldn’t figure out what it was about you – your naive gaze or that pout that absently curved your lips – that had your words and scent and eyes lingering in his mind like a vengeful phantom.
You were the being of all chaos and irrationality, but you were so bright. Unhoned, rough and unhewn. A gemstone shining with impurities but shining still, casting a beautiful mosaic cast across the ground with indecipherable shapes and patterns.
It was deplorable. He hated you for being on his mind, and hated you even more for your wasted potential. He hated how you stared, how his cheeks would redden from the intensity of your gaze, and how he’d have to pretend he was unfazed, because he couldn’t afford any distractions.
You were the being of his undoing, he was sure. You were brought into existence to spite him, to bring an unaccounted variable into the equation of his being, and present a causality dilemma for all he was.
He wanted you gone, but he wanted you closer all at once.
He hated it.
It wasn’t common for him to sleep in either, so when he woke five minutes before class was supposed to start, he cursed you with all the spite in his heart and rushed to class, clutching papers from the night before, still imbued with traces of your lingering fragrance. Just how long had you pored over those papers for your smell to latch to them? It should be impossible. Fate was clearly against him.
Fate brought you back together as he entered the brimming lecture hall, and the only vacant seat was the one next to you.
“Did you get the papers in order?” you asked, glancing at his dishevelled state. The Dr Ratio you knew was never dishevelled, but this was the closest you’d ever seen him to it.
“Yes. Just write your name on your bits and sign the sign off sheet and it’s complete.”
You take the paper from him, scrawling your name across your work, then handing it back.
With your project finally submitted, you could breathe easy again – never endure his biting remarks and criticism again.
But as the class progressed, you realised you were in trouble.
The professor was merciless. He flicked through the presentation on the new topic with haste, rushing through new concepts, formulae and calculations with record speeds. You’d nudged Ratio, whispering for help, but he rolled his eyes and kept his stare attentively on the presentation.
You wanted to slap him.
Was he tolerating you because of the project? Was he going back to cold stares and dismissive glances?
You wouldn’t allow it. Not when you were so close to discovering the man behind the alabaster figurehead. As soon as the professor signalled the end of the lecture, a collective sigh was released from the class.
You turned to Ratio, and he was already staring at you.
“What was it you wanted to say?”
“Tutor me please.”
He raised a brow. “Why?”
“Because you’re smart.”
“Pick someone else, then. I don’t see why I should.”
“You asshole, I’ll buy you lunch if you tutor me.”
He frowns at you as he begins to leave. You trail after him. “Please?”
He sighs deeply. Like a man burdened with the weight of his own world on his shoulders. Byron’s brooding, romantic hero, in his melodramatic glory. “Fine. Stop annoying me.”
You smile. “Thanks. Meet you at your dorm after dinner?”
He sighs again. “ Don’t be late or I'll lock the door and go to bed.”
He watched the seconds tick by in agonising motion – a man awaiting his sentence, but also his reprieve. Is this what his classmates felt before they took tests? It certainly seemed like it. Relief was on the horizon, and yet great suffering was imminent. He’d never known the feeling until now.
But as they say, the harder the rain, the sweeter the sun, and he wasn’t about to relinquish his quest to decipher you.
It seemed mutual as he paced in front of his front door, having eaten dinner at the cafeteria early to mentally prepare himself.
When your knock finally sounded at his door, he sighed, checked his watch, then reluctantly opened the door.
You were a picture to behold.
Hair slightly damp from a shower, drowning in loose, oversized clothing. It was all painfully domestic to see you walk through his doorway, scanning his living space. In the back of his mind, he thought it felt right, but he shook his head.
You were messing with him again.
Two could play that game.
“Take a seat.” He pulled out a stool from his kitchen island. “Want a drink?”
“What, like alcohol?” you huffed.
“Are you an alcoholic?”
“Only if you want me to be.” you shrug, setting down your notes on the bench.
He sighs exasperatedly, already berating himself for agreeing to this. He never agreed to tutor anyone. Why were you the exception? You shouldn’t be.
His hypothesis: you were trying to get something out of him. A way to cheat the class, his academic favour, something hedonistic, even. It seemed plausible enough, but you listened intently as he explained the concepts the professor spoke of in the lecture, asking questions and actively engaging with his explanation.
It didn’t seem like there was any ulterior motive. So why was he letting you break his rules and defy his nature?
“God, why didn't the prof explain it during that lesson? Everyone struggled.”
“You’re not smart enough to understand his concise methods, then.” he huffed.
“You’re too smart.”
“You’re not smart enough.”
“Smart ass,”
“Get back to work. You did that question wrong, by the way.”
You groaned. “Where?”
He was so caught up in your quarrels that he didn’t notice the time grinding away at the pestle. It was nearly midnight when you’d finally caught up with that day’s classwork, and he sighed in relief.
“You understand?”
“Yes. You don’t have to worry now.”
“I won’t. Now get out.”
“No drink?” you frowned, pretending to sulk at his expense. He simply stared at you, getting up from his stool and walking to the fridge.
Remarkably, he pulled out two beers.
“Don’t speak. If you do, I'll regret allowing you over again.”
A smile befell your lips. “I’m not saying anything.”
“I don’t like the look on your face.”
“Wipe it off then.”
A frown. His new hypothesis: you were trying to seduce him for better grades, more tutoring sessions, or for his own downfall.
“Drink and leave.”
“If you say so.” you take the chilled bottle and drink. He watches your throat move, and he thinks of himself as pathetic as he drinks as well, wincing at the bitterness.
“Do you live by yourself?” you ask, head propped onto your hand.
“I do.”
“Are you lonely or something?”
“No, people are irritating.” Like you.
“What a ray of sunshine you are.” You’re not much better.
“I don’t have to put up with any idiocy.”
“If you say so.”
Quiet passes as beer fizzes in the bottles, golden liquid sloshing at the sides of the glass.
One thing you learn that night is that Veritas Ratio, the famed multiple time valedictorian of your university, is an extreme lightweight. His cheeks become red quicker than you can finish your bottle, and he starts to grumble nonsense under his breath.
“You’re really smart, you know?” he suddenly says after mumbling something about quantum physics.
“What was that?”
“You’re really smart. Really smart. Impressive.”
“Really?”
“Yes, you idiot, how many times do I have to repeat myself?” he leans on the bench, not entirely aware of his surroundings as he does so. He squints at the ground.
He’s a cute drunk, you realise begrudgingly.
“Thanks, Veritas. You’re smart too.”
“I know.” he drinks from his bottle again, swirling the dregs. “But I can’t figure you out.”
“Hm?”
“Why are you acting like this?”
“Like what?”
“Do you hate me?”
You hesitate for a moment. “Yes.”
“Then why are you like this?”
Your eyebrows raise.
“You’re making me irrational. I can’t figure it out.”
“...Sorry?”
“You should be. You know, I was nearly late to class today because of you. You kept me awake.”
“Really?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking. Thoughts. And things.”
You laugh at his predicament, draining your beer and gathering your things. Trying to leave before he said anything that could turn the encounter south.
“Wait. Don’t go.” he slams his palm onto your notes, determination in his eyes.
“I need to go to bed.” you say as if scolding a child.
“I need to figure you out. You’re still an enigma to me. The anomaly of my behaviour. Is this your intention?”
“What are you talking about? You’re drunk.”
“I can think. I can move. I can see fine. I’m not drunk. Answer me.”
“Maybe I'm just so mesmerising to you.” you joke, but his brows furrowed in thought.
“Maybe.” he retracts his hand from your notes, and you stow them away into your bag, slinging it onto your shoulder before he can do anything else.
As you’re halfway to the door, he pushes you against the wall.
You never realised how tall he was until then. How much of a height difference you had, or how muscular he was. He had to have worked out on a daily basis. The pungent smell of alcohol lingered on his breath, and his cheeks were tainted with deep red as he searched your gaze.
You decide he’s officially lost his mind, but who were you to complain?
“Are you mesmerising?” he whispers, eyes trailing down your face, examining and analysing, his hand tracing down your body with those slender scholar’s hands.
“You tell me.”
Then he grabs your face and mashes your lips together. The kiss is rough, biting and rushed. You freeze for a sliver of a second before returning it, letting him decide your allure with his own devices.
He pulls away almost too fast, lips kiss bitten, breath fast.
“You’re a siren.”
“Am I?”
“You’re going to ruin me.”
“What a weak man you are, if it only takes one woman to ruin you.”
“I hate you.”
“Really?”
“I hate it because I’d probably let you.”
“Are you a masochist?”
“Not in my right mind. I’ll wake up and regret everything, but it’ll all be the same, fundamentally.”
“So what’s your conclusion?”
He still has you pushed against the wall, caged within himself. “You were put into this world to bring about my destruction.”
“How? Why?”
“You’re my opposite. Brash, naive, carefree.”
“Are you normally this analytical of people?”
“No, which supports my point.”
“I see. So you’re going to let me ruin your image?”
“No. I hate you for it.”
“Let me go then.”
He wordlessly steps away, and you stumble to the door.
“So what are we?” you ask, turned away from him. You can’t see the way he drinks in your visage like a starving man, and the small, sober part of him is grateful for it.
“Polar opposites.”
“I mean who am I to you?”
He’s silent for a while, so you turn back to him to find him leaning on the wall, gazing into space.
“Veritas?”
“You’re my undoing. A catalyst, maybe, for my downfall. But there must be balance, right? So what are you?”
“What am I?”
“I don’t know.”
You knew then that he was beyond reason. Was this what you did to him? You took some sadistic pride in seeing a man such as himself reduced to a mumbling, questioning, incoherent mess. You were somewhat pleased with the effect you had on him., but you could never let him know this.
He crumpled to the floor, back to the wall, clutching his head in his hands. “I’ll figure you out.”
“Sure you will. Goodnight, Veritas.”
“Night.”
Your smile was brighter than the morning as you left his apartment, embracing the night’s welcoming chill.
written by @atlaswav , published 15th of July 2024
#☁️. writing#hsr x reader#dr ratio#veritas ratio#hsr#hsr ratio#hsr dr ratio#hsr x y/n#dr ratio x reader#dr ratio x you#ratio x reader#veritas ratio x reader#veritas ratio fluff#WHY DOES THIS MAN HAVE SO MANY FUCKING NAME VARIATIONS JESUS CHRIST#veritas ratio hsr#veritas ratio x you#honkai star rail#honkai star rail dr ratio#i hate the ending a lot but it makes sense to have it ig idk FUCK idk idont know#okay back into hibernation#(studying)#(why the fuck would i study)#hsr x female reader#fem reader
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