#i think everyone should describe themselves in swords from now on

[chaos-monkeyy]

🦋

but only because I misread it as swords, so describe yourself in three swords, please.

Plain, basic, but still aesthetically pleasing and pretty sturdy. A good everyday, functional sort of sword.

2. Bit jagged at times, not always the friendliest sword to be around. Gotta be careful how you handle that sucker.

3. Fuckin' tired, man

[dullorangepulp]

P4 & P5 Femc's, Suzume Asakawa & Rei Kurusu!

Info under cut

I wanted to try my hand at creating hypothetical femc's. Not like genderbends of the protagonists (though i always love seeing those), but entirely new characters with different personalities, kinda like Kotone Shiomi from p3p.

I had 3 main philosophies I tried to stick to when designing these gals; they should hypothetically be easy for the player to project themselves onto, they must have the opposite colour scheme of their male protag counterparts, & they must have the opposite personality of their male protag counterparts. Just like Kotone!

I'm kinda bad at explaining, sooo I'll just try to walk u through my design process. Let's start with Suzume!

for Suzume, since purple is the opposite of yellow, i decided to give her a purple colour scheme. Since purple is often associated with royalty, I thought she could be based on the himedere archetype in anime! & what else is the most himedere-hairstyle other than twin curls?

With her design now defined, I moved onto her personality. Im aware it's kinda a debate as to whether or not persona protags have personalities, but personally? i think they do, since they're characterised somewhat consistently across the animes/spin off games (chadrukami & joker having tons of troll dialogue options in p5 strikers come to mind as popular interpretations), so for the sake of making suzume more interesting, let's just say she has one.

Suzume is elegant, prideful, posh, regal, classy, vain, arrogant, & snooty. She takes a lot of pride in her appearance, & loves being the center of attention. Which, considering she's the leader of the investigation team, gives her the perfect excuse to continue stroking her massive ego

In the TV world, Suzume fights with a fencing sword. She accepts her role as the team leader very quickly, & leads her team in a way that can only be described as very.... um.... "authoritative". The best way I can describe her style of leadership is like this; she gets the investigation team to do most of the work beating up shadows, & then she swoops in to get the last hit & steals all the glory! She sucks so much, i love her <3

Suzume always strives to be the best at everything ever. She needs to be better than everyone around her, she always needs to win, because no one likes a loser. & if she's the best, most charming, charismatic, prettiest, & talented girl on planet earth, surely people will HAVE to like her, right? Surely, everyone will HAVE to turn to look at her.... right?

Despite how much she tries to hide it, underneath that perfect princess-like facade is a vulnerable & insecure girl who thinks she needs to be perfect all the time to make up for how unspecial she truly is. She grew up alone & detached from everyone & everything around her, which caused her to be isolated from the world around her. She's basically just drifting through life until she arrives in Inaba. Her princess-like attitude is a mask she puts on to try & get people to pay more attention to her. In Suzume's mind, all attention is good attention. Doesn't matter if people think she's the sweetest angel on earth, or a huge bitch, so long as they look at her. So long as she sticks in their minds forever. So long as they never forget about her again.

Also, she sucks at cooking. Like, she's really bad. Cooking is the one skill she just cannot seem to perfect. She tries to hide how bad she is, to great comedic effect, but. People find out eventually. & uh... it may or may not end with the entire investigation team getting food poisoning. Suzume's cooking is so bad she makes Yukiko look like Gordon Ramsey by comparison.

Ok enough about her, let's move on to Reirei!

Green is the opposite of red, so while I deffo wanted her to be green, i didnt just want her to be green. I wanted her to have more colours so that she wouldn't look too boring. So, I decided that the secondary colour could be pink! This gives her the spring colour palette, which I think fits her very well. I know pink is already one of Kotone's colours, but hey, surely she wouldn't mind sharing. it is caring, after all

Rei has basically the same backstory as the og protag. She was a normal girl, living a normal life, until she was arrested & falsely accused of assault for protecting a woman from a violent drunkard. But the difference between Rei & Ren is in how they cope with being sent away on probation. While Ren puts on the mask of an unassuming, stoic, & shy boy who tries to avoid conflict, Rei has a different approach. She elects to completely lean into people's perception of her, & dons the mask of a tough, ruthless, cold-hearted delinquent. Her design is specifically inspired by sukeban fashion, which actually hasn't been seen since the 80s , but I thought it was fitting for Rei. Plus, I actually have a reason for why she dresses in an outdated fashion style.

The true Rei Kurusu is extremely shy. So shy she can barely talk louder than muttering. She's always been very socially anxious & hates putting herself in the spotlight. She used to hide her face behind long bangs to avoid looking people in the eyes, before she cut them to look more tough & unapproachable (she still mostly avoids eye contact though). Due to her immense shyness during childhood, she didn't have any friends. She grew up with a fairly limited view of the world, & as a result, is behind on a lot of modern trends. This is the kind of girl who only plays retro games on an old console, & who actually still thinks female delinquents in japan dress as sukeban. Yeah, she's kinda stupid. I still love her tho <3 my stupid little gal.

While her inability to look at people when they're talking may come off as rude, Rei doesn't mean any harm by it. She always tries to be nice & polite to everyone, even those who are mean to her, she just... can never seem to get over the hurdles of actually interacting with people beyond simple pleasantries. She always holds people at an arms distance, never wanting to let them in.

Anyways, her facade fools everyone save for only a few; her fellow Phantom Thieves. As the leader, Rei doesn't want to hog any of the spotlight or glory. She thinks the other members are far more skilled, strong, & talented than her, so her leadership style is basically to give orders from the back, while letting everyone else get their chance to shine. She's fairly hands off, only stepping up to the challenge if her team is really knocked down, forcing her to take over & finish off a Shadow with her shinai. Otherwise, her amazing teammates can handle it themselves.

Also, Rei constantly apologises for the smallest of things. Knocking a glass over, or stepping on someone's foot, or just slightly bumping into them, she's always quick to blurt out a "Sorry!" first, even if she's the one who got bumped. Doesn't really help her keep up her delinquent persona, though, so her classmates fairly quickly figure out that she's not actually that threatening. Deep down, she's actually just a really sweet dumbass. A female himbo, if that's even a thing that exists.

ok thats all bye

(doodle reqs open!)

[creetchure]

In Attack of White Knight!Azrael

A few days ago, I reread curse of the white knight by sean murphy, and that comic has awakened feelings of rage within me that make me feel a little coocoo and has reminded me just how much I love Jean-Paul Valley/Azrael and the way both Denis O’Neil and Dan Watters have written him. The following is a vaguely structured version of the rant I gave my friend about it.

To me, one of the most important things O’Neil has done during his time writing Azrael/JPV was making them deeply, completely, human. During the original Azrael run, Knightfall, and then Azrael Agent of the Bat, JPV/Az have done bad things, sure, but they’ve never been treated as a full on villain, used only to move the plot of the heroes forward. We got to see exactly how and when they got to the point of being an antagonist, and at least from my point of view, it always was at least to some level sympathetic. JPV/Az are a RAMCOA system, and I personally headcanon that their psychosis is a PTSD symptom rather than a disorder on its own, as it only seems to appear after Azrael gets triggered and memories of becoming Azrael surface, bringing the buried trauma with it. It’s something that affects them clearly all through their appearances before their death, and now again in Waters’s writing of them. They have delusions, they’re paranoid, they hallucinate their father and a knight templar in the sky asking them to kill a man while they struggle not to, and they’re still not treated like a villain by the narrative. Like an antagonist, yes, but not a villain, as is recognized directly by the characters, both in Knightsend and afterwards. 

And then, there’s Sean Murphy. Sean Murphy did not bother reading Jean-Paul Valley/Azrael’s wiki page. Sean Murphy did not bother trying to know what JPV/Az’s character was even about. Instead, he built a one dimensional villain on the sole basis of “guy who believes he’s an angel, heavily religious”. Mind, that isn’t even an accurate way to describe Azrael at all. While O’Neil’s JPV/Azrael is a young man desperately trying to cope with trauma bad enough for him not to remember, and trying to keep the angel in his head in check so they pose neither a danger to themselves or anyone else, Murphy’s is a middle aged evangelist soldier with lung cancer. While O’Neil’s JPV is alone, has no support system to speak of to rely on, as his father is dead and he visibly has no friends, Murphy’s clearly has people around him in Michael and Gabriel, who, frankly, should have pulled him out of it. By all means, Murphy’s Azrael should be both medicated and in therapy for psychosis rather than enabled by his friends to believe himself an angel and wield a flaming sword. Where O’Neil’s Azrael still chose to do good even as it was a fight against themself, even as everyone told them to do otherwise, Murphy’s is, much like the rest of his book, edgy to be edgy. 

Now, O’Neil’s run is long, as has its ups and down, and I do understand that Murphy might not have had the time or want to read through it, though I’d argue Knightfall should be mandated reading for anyone looking to call back the Azbats suit. However, Murphy not reading comics has lead to many other egregious errors which could have been fixed with even the slightest bit of research. And I do mean a single Google search would have done the trick for some of them. It truly goes to show just how little Murphy actually cares about the source material aside from Snyder’s Batman movies when he allows for Jason to be the first Robin without thinking twice about it, or about how to fix it, or when he makes Renée Montoya out to be a character only to never even call her by her first name more than once, or when he makes Barbara an entirely out of character mess. 

O’Neil and Quesada have poured so much love into Azrael and it honestly makes me angry how little respect Murphy has for their work and their character. He is, to me, one of the best characters to come out of 90s comics, and Murphy could not be bothered to read a wiki article about him, or to spend an hour reading Batman Sword of Azrael – which would have been enough for a more solid grasp of the characters, and is truly only four issues long. To me, JPV/Azrael is one of the superheroes who goes through the most shit, on a personal level, and is the most human in his reactions, which is why seeing him turned into a caricature, if you could even call it that, is so shocking, as it’s incredibly easy to imagine his real reactions in the comic. He is not a villain. Many people like to bring up the panel of Robin where he chokes Tim Drake in the Batcave, but none of them seem to be willing to discuss what came before or after, the reason why any of it even happened at all. The truth is, JPV/Az banned Tim from the cave because they doubted their ability to protect a Robin as Batman, and Tim, as he kept on returning, eventually got to the Batcave and JPV/Az snapped and put the fear of them in him ; it was never meant as more than a scare, and is an action taken in a stressful moment for JPV. Though it doesn’t make it right, the context does make me sympathetic to the circumstances. At that point in time, JPV is trying to fit in Batman’s shoes while said man is away, fighting for control against Azrael, losing time when he loses that fight, feeling like he’s losing his mind as he starts to see his father and Saint Dumas, and trying to keep his head up while he’s swallowed by the mantle of Batman which Bruce knew full well would drown him. 

It’s a horrible time. Bruce admits it himself later on, it was something he knew could break JPV. Yet, through it all, JPV doesn’t kill. He lets a serial killer die, yes, but he only does so as he’s arguing with hallucinations of his father and Saint Dumas, both ordering him to kill. And even still, his only fault is in inaction, and not the murder he is later accused of. Through it all, JPV doesn’t give in. And in White Knight? In White Knight, JPV is a sad old man with cancer who’s being a little BITCH about it. 

O’Neil’s is a better character in the 4 issues of Batman: Sword of Azrael than Murphy’s in the 8 issues of Curse of the White Knight. 

[eleiyaumei]

Poll response: Gender in Hakuōki

A few months ago I made a poll asking about how you feel about how Hakuōki portrays/handles gender and this is my response to it.

First of all, I’d like to thank everyone who voted. This was intended as a poll about your feelings, i.e. personal impressions, and not meant to find out the “truth”. I’d like to encourage everyone who wants to elaborate on their impressions to do so and for those knowledgeable about topics like Historical Accuracy, to publish posts about these in order to spread knowledge and potentially clear up misconceptions.

Secondly, to the person who asked/chose the option: “Why do you care about this?”

I care about this because every person has their own relationship to gender – indifferent or not – and my relationship to it clashed so hard with Hakuōki’s in KW/EB that it gave me gender dysphoria. I wanted to know how other Hakuōki players/fans reacted to it – not to judge them, just to understand them better.

Thirdly, I want to lead the way and tell you about what I feel in regards to how Hakuouki treats gender. To be exact, I’d like to discuss the appeal of the franchise’s fem MC with the leading question:

Whom is Chizuru for?

Oh, and before I start:

Please don’t judge people for (not) being okay with Hakuōki’s treatment of gender. Everyone has their own experiences and reasons for feeling these ways. Reducing it to “internalized misogyny” is generalizing and redundant.

(BTW, internalized misogyny (or sexism) can influence both sides of the coin:

PROs can be okay with the conservative gender roles in Hakuōki because they were taught this is the way men and women are and should be and they’re comfortable in these roles.

ANTIs can be not okay with them because they were taught femininity/womanhood was inferior and weak and they don’t want to be seen that way.)

Now, I hope I can illustrate the ways that make us feel what we do in regards to gender.

1) Chizuru is for “Not Like Other Girls™ but also kinda still like other girls” girls and women

Snappy (and provocative to some) way to say:

Chizuru is for girls and women that struggle with their femininity/girlhood/womanhood but still identify with it.

Perhaps they don’t like makeup or feminine clothing, perhaps they don’t like hyperfemininity (i.e. wearing pink, skirts, dresses, accentuating their fem* body characteristics, going shopping etc.). In some areas, they might think of themselves as unfeminine but in others, they’re able to fulfill what’s expected of girls and women (e.g. having sex only in romantic relationships, marrying a man, starting a family, being a housewife or stay-at-home girlfriend).

Despite not matching with 100% of their gender’s expectations, they still want to be seen as a girl or woman and not as man or stereotypical lesbian or whatnot. And they want to be desired and respected specifically as a girl or woman.

Most Hakuōki guys, especially Harada and Hijikata, acknowledge that and that’s appealing for girls and women as described above.

And then there’s...

2) Chizuru is for people that don’t care about gender roles and expectations

Androgynous-looking, cross-dressing, sword-wearing, living-in-a-men-dominated-world Chizuru is appealing for Gender-Non-Conforming, trans*, non-binary, genderfluid, genderqueer people and others.

I was raised by a gender-non-conforming woman who builds sheds and does housework, whose income feeds the family, who wears colorful but gender-neutral outfits, whose arms are muscular, chest rather flat but body still feminine, who did karate and handball, who likes women like Whitney Houston, Sigourney Weaver/Alien’s Ripley and Downton Abbey’s Dowager Countess of Grantham, who loves the military not for the “hot masculine men” but for the discipline, weaponry and combative prowess... (I don’t like the military but I see where she’s coming from.)

What I meant to say was: The way I grew up influenced my view on gender. My education lacked a focus on gender roles and expectations, with my mom constantly defying them and my dad not being fond of (hyper)femininity. I wasn’t told that fighting was only for boys and men so I never felt bad for being interested in it. I never questioned my gender identity because no one seemed to care about how feminine or not I was.

The game developers did not include the wishes of players who wanted to fight in a samurai visual novel. They added a singular training scene with Kondo, not to teach Chizuru swordfighting but for the player to develop sympathy for Kondo so that they’ll feel bad once he’s executed.

They could have fixed this easily by including the options to fight so every player that wanted to could do so and those who didn’t could have not done it – and accompanying both options should have been no or neutral consequences so as to not tell players that they are wrong to choose one option over another. Or if they are positive/negative consequences, make them adhere to the respective love interest. (Like how saving Harada at the end of KW does not give you affection because it hurts his masculinity/does not fit with his preferences for his future wife.) Easy fix to make everyone happy, no? Instead of hating the game (experience), we can instead come to the conclusion that we like one love interest less or more.

Also, I want to address this statement I saw:

“The way Chizuru is portrayed is nice to see because women should not have manly qualities in order to be seen as strong.” (*This is no direct quote.)

Yes, you’re right. Feminism is about not forcing roles and behaviors onto people depending on their gender, physical attributes etc., and it’s also about not privileging one gender (expression) over another.

But, do you know that a lot of people in the manosphere and other patriarchal spaces use this sentiment to enforce traditional gender roles and exaggerate the masculine attributes they see in popular media (like Shadiversity sees in Princess Peach in the new Mario movie) and claim that popular media only portrays “strong women” as having masculine attributes, often without convincing arguments? I just say this here to spread awareness so that you don’t fall for manosphere conspiracy theories and such.

Especially when we look at otome games, most fem MCs adhere to traditional fem gender expectations and this is okay (while also often criticized in reviews) but this makes any strong feeling you have towards not wanting Chizuru portrayed in ways you associate with masculinity seem over-the-top. Like, don’t you think that there are otome game players out there who want their MCs to be different from the majority – for whatever reason? It’s great you can see yourself in these fem MCs or you just like seeing such fem MCs but please acknowledge that you are not the only otome game players out there and others might feel differently from you.

(I hope you’re not coming from a place of seeing otome games as ‘one of the last bastions of traditional femininity/gender roles’ because gatekeeping this whole genre of games and forcing each game to adhere to certain standards relating to gender is not fair to anyone [and arguably sexist].)

Another reason why some people are frustrated with Chizuru or with the treatment of her by characters and the franchise as a whole has to do with what X talked about in their critique of the Hakuouki anime series:

Set-up and pay-off.

KW sets up Chizuru as a cross-dressing young woman with a sword, who has basic knowledge in sword fighting, proves herself to be able to protect herself sufficiently (in the test by Saito and Okita), wants herself to be useful and not a burden on others.

So it feels forced, illogical, maybe even ill-willed whenever KW/EB puts Chizuru in compromising situations where she does nothing but scream and cry and has to be saved by others which fuels her self-loathing and feelings of being a burden but she never asks or is being offered to be trained nor does she become able to defend herself in the long run. There are singular scenes of her training but it never pays off. (If she was never set-up to be swordfight-savvy enough to protect herself, her always not being able to protect herself would be justified and not (as) frustrating.) And even in Okita’s EB route, Chizuru wants to fight, Okita allows her to, she kills a man, then has to be saved from another and what does Okita say to Chizuru, who clearly wants to fight by his side? That she has to leave everything to him – without offering her to teach her even though he is a kenjutsu prodigy and instructor. Set-up: Chizuru wants to fight. Pay-off: She fights and kills a man ONE SINGULAR TIME. Like, at least adhere to the Rule of Three... (Or do you think this adheres to this rule: 1) Chizuru proves herself to Saito and Okita, 2) she saves Okita from Kazama, 3) she kills a soldier? Well, it’s at least not enough pay-off for me.)

EB especially spends a lot of time describing in excruciating detail how much Chizuru suffers from guilt and self-loathing, thinking herself a burden on anyone, and how is this resolved? By the love interests saying some phrases about caring about and loving her, needing her (as emotional support...pet, tbh), kissing, sometimes sleeping with her and/or marrying her. She is never given a character arc for growth/change because the love interests are always prioritized over her.

(And she is so goddamn passive in 'her own story'... I would argue that Hakuōki is not about Chizuru, it's about the love interests. She is the Watson to the Sherlock Holmes.)

[abeinginsand]

swiftli + anxiety 👀👀👀

Thank you for the ask, cookies ✨ :D ---

All six teens are setting up camp for the night in what they used to think was Faerun or often now called 'Old Earth'. Dood and Scary are setting up the fire while Lincoln and Normal set up the tents. Lastly, Hermie is setting out the bedrolls with Taylor. Each pair is making good work of their tasks, various conversations going on as they work together. Most of what Taylor and Hermie talk about is musical and anime related with a few thinly veiled pain level questions mixed in there. They both weren't the best at watching over themselves but recently they settled on forming a pact to keep an eye on each other. Hermie insisted on calling it a pact and Taylor didn't mind--sounded pretty cool and mysterious after all.

Eventually all tasks are complete and the teens share a few snacks while sitting around the fire. They all agree to watch the campsite in shifts throughout the night with Scary volunteering to take first shift.

When she wakes Taylor up to take over, she says nothing happened outside of a few birds and other forest creatures wandering around. That's good news and he quickly gets up, ready to start patrolling. He keeps his cane in one hand and his other sword in his right hand as he carefully looks around the perimeter. The first hour is as peaceful as his friend described. The second hour is different. Their taking a moment to lean against a tree and resting their legs, when he hears three distant noises in this order: A howl "Stay right there!" The sound of crushing and tearing He can't see any silhouettes from where he is, the sound coming from the far distance. The ranger stands up fully, eyes glowing a bright red in the dark as he watches and listens for anything more. He holds his sword upward, readying to strike and grips his cane's handle, preparing to pull the sword out of it too if need be. Except, nothing happens after that. Heck, everyone takes a shift (except Dood) and no one even hears anything strange outside of him either! Every later report should have relieved Taylor. Instead, he kept wondering if whatever the source was--was waiting for some reason to strike again when everyone was comfortable. He stayed up all night, had too. Pretending to be asleep but secretly listening as shifts passed. Come the last, early morning shift, exhaustion nearly dragged him away, eyes drifting closed...

A howl "Stay right there!" The sound of crushing and tearing His mind quickly reminded him why he should stay awake. To make things even worse, recounting that 'stay right there' made him realize that voice sounded similar to Willy's too. They still hadn't met up with him again so far but they all knew it could happen at any time.

What if it was this time? Even if it was, the teen swore to do all his could to prevent anyone getting ambushed or hurt again. This is how Taylor ends up being one of the first people to get up. He's still patrolling the camp perimeter, his bedroll folded up and tucked back into his bag. He can hear the others starting to wake up and opts to continue pacing instead of greeting them. There's the smell of food and echoes of groggy good mornings next. He keeps his eyes on the distance while taking a step forward to do one more circle. But stops when someone puts a hand on their shoulder from behind. Reflexively, he grabs the hand and puts his weight into a toss that sends the person tumbling right over him. He doesn't manage to catch himself though, knees betraying him and sending him to the ground too. He uses his cane to prevent a complete face plant. Grits his teeth next and juts his sword at the fallen person's throat. His skin feels like he's on fire, pupils turned to narrowed slits and the edges of the back of his hair now engulfed in demonic red and orange flames. "Tay...Taylor, wait! It's me. Just Link. Breakfast is ready and I noticed you were gone. Hermie mentioned you were over here, so I said I'd come get you." "Oh." The ranger stares for a few minutes, blinking slowly, blade tip only an inch shy of his best friend's neck. Link doesn't look afraid, only concerned. There is a bag of mini muffins in one of the soccer player's hands too. Other hand now on the blade and moving it out of his face. The sword lowers easily now that Taylor's aware of who he almost sliced and diced.

The cautious teen still feels hot, too hot, and tense from nerves. His knees are hurting from the fall and arms as well from tossing someone much taller than he is. On any other day, the teen would celebrate successfully pulling off the move. With no sleep and the compulsion to patrol more, all he does instead is look away from his friend again and over to that familiar point in the distance. Its not any different than before but could be soon. Or maybe it wouldn't change, things could be fine, everyone else seemed to think so after all. Lincoln is standing the next time he looks back over and helps him get back up. "We really should go back for now." "I'm not done though." "But, listen to me, you should get something to eat before we go." "Well, I think I need to keep watch more instead, okay? There were weird sounds and someone was out there....What if its the Mayor or Willy or both!" Its only when he hears an echo of his own voice and sees Link's now widened eyes that he realizes he shouted that response. Taylor feels nauseous right away and looks down to his own hands with frustration. He squeezes the colorful grip on his cane and closes his eyes. Tried to think of something calming or distracting and he latches onto arguing with Hermie yesterday. It was a disagreement over some musical lyrics that truthfully neither of them fully remembered. Then, that train of thought gets him thinking on the pact again and he takes another breath. Within a few minutes of this, flames now wrapped around his tail, horns, body, and in his hair disappear like blown out candles. He opens his eyes again. Link's still there, staring at him with one hesitant hand reached out. Taylor musters a muttered apology for the shouting and takes his hand. Neither of them say much else outside Lincoln's own apology. The awkwardness wrapped around them as they walk back to camp in silence. Taylor's....tired and Lincoln is afraid he'll say something that might upset him again. Its obvious something's off to everyone else too when they walk over. Taylor sits down between Hermie and Lincoln. The uncle and nephew--cousins--siblings--have a little whispered exchange that the soccer player can't quite make out. It ends with Taylor sharing a packet of muffins with the actor though so Lincoln's is relieved. Breakfast is quiet for the next few minutes until, surprisingly, Dood breaks the silence with an assortment of corny, very dad-like jokes. Including a few with the classic two part set-up. Only the eldtritch teen forgot to give anyone a chance to answer until Normal explained that part. Apparently, Scary had shared a joke book with her recently. One of Terry Junior's old favorite books. Dood's earnest delivery of the jokes manages to get a few laughs even from Hermie. Taylor hadn't laughed at all, instead, he only contributed a bit of snoozing, having drifted off while leaning against Lincoln's shoulder. Hermie took the rest of the muffins from now lax hands, gave Linc a warning type of look, and went to go talk with Normal. The curly, brown-haired boy pointedly ignored the look and carefully moved Taylor around so that his head was resting in his lap. The teen smiles at some of Taylor's murmured sleep talk, making out a few character names and random desserts. When a morning breeze passes through some minutes later, he softly lays his jacket over his companion like a blanket and hopes whatever good dream he is having continues.

[immediatebreakfast]

Marmion round two!

The poem seems to (for now) mostly focus on lord Marmion's arrival to the castle, and the impact of said arrival has upon the subjects, and more specifically the soldiers.

Moreover, lord Marmion did not arrive alone, with enough company to indicate how his lordship leads his people. Yet, the way these are numbered, and described could be seen of how Marmion is guarded yes, but not too guarded as not to give the impression that his status makes him a delicate noble in need of a lot of protection.

Behind him rode two gallant squires, Of noble name and knightly sires: They burned the gilded spurs to claim; For well could each a war-horse tame, Could draw the bow, the sword could sway,

First, there are two squires behind lord Marmion. Both of them are highlighted in their abilities for combat, and their noble birth. Yet, even when these squires are put right behind Marmion for protection, the poem wants us to know how they are gallant in both combat, and romance. Telling, with adjectives like courteus and actions like dancing, that the squires are not only warriors, but gentlemen as well.

Four men-at-arms came at their backs, With halbert, bill, and battle-axe: They bore Lord Marmion’s lance so strong, And led his sumpter-mules along, And ambling palfrey, when at need Him listed ease his battle-steed. The last and trustiest of the four, On high his forky pennon bore; Like swallow’s tail, in shape and hue, Fluttered the streamer glossy blue, Where, blazoned sable, as before, The towering falcon seemed to soar.

Second, four men (also armed) follow the squires while guiding Marmion's mules. The remark on the fourth one is very interesting since it mentions the falcon imagery again, but this time unlike Marmion, this falcon is "soaring" in between the blue of the essemble instead of being "trapped" in gold. What could this mean when a person of lower rank wears the same symbol as a lord, yet on the person the symbol is "free."

Last, twenty yeomen, two and two, In hosen black, and jerkins blue, With falcons broidered on each breast, Attended on their lord’s behest: Each, chosen for an archer good, Knew hunting-craft by lake or wood;

The count of lord Marmion's people went from six to twenty six in a matter of paragraphs. These soldiers are described mostly with their abilities in combat by mentioning the weapons they are prolific in, a very interesting choice since one would expect the mentioning of their fighting ways. Yet, I think this could also Illustrate how many weapons they mastered under the eyes of lord Marmion. A bow, a boar spear, a sword, their belts.

Tis meet that I should tell you now, How fairly armed, and ordered how, The soldiers of the guard, With musket, pike, and morion, To welcome noble Marmion,

I was making fun a little bit of lord Marmion's request of being received with trumpets, laughter, and glee... And it happened! Everyone in Norham organized themselves exactly how Marmion wanted, and the poem even remarks how this celebration is something that not even the castle itself had seen. Everything went to the letter, and with descriptives like thundering, flourished, and even telling how the sound made angels scatter.

Welcome to Norham, Marmion! Stout heart, and open hand! Well dost thou brook thy gallant roan, Thou flower of English land!”

What a chant to receive the lord. What an entrance for this man. I can even hear the voices of everyone yelling this at the top of their lungs.

Two pursuivants, whom tabarts deck, With silver scutcheon round their neck, Stood on the steps of stone, By which you reach the donjon gate, And there, with herald pomp and state, They hailed Lord Marmion: They hailed him Lord of Fontenaye, Of Lutterward, and Scrivelbaye, Of Tamworth tower and town;

Then, after the introduction two pursuivants (junior ranking officer) present lord Marmion, and what I can assume are all of the many titles he has won through kin, and conquest.

Now, largesse, largesse, Lord Marmion, Knight of the crest of gold! A blazoned shield, in battle won, Ne’er guarded heart so bold.

I don't know why, but even if this chant is complimentary of Marmion as a knight, it somehow feels like an omen of how that bold heart may be the one causing things.

Overall, even if this canto doesn't keep on with describing lord Marmion, it tells us how he is a leader by describing his army. Look at him all gallant, and brave, so his people should reflect his image. He makes sure that his essemble has the delicacy of dancing in a hall, and the might of holding a sword. A very knightly view given, and exalted by abilities, and blue.

[alyjojo]

January ⛸️ 2024 Monthly - Libra

Whole of your energy: 9 Swords

For the preshuffle, you can’t see the path ahead of you, and there are a lot of things you feel you don’t know or understand, but you’re trying to be patient and “let the pieces fall where they land”. Some of you could be thinking of reuniting with someone that’s attractive & fun, but are they reliable? Because you want something serious, or you are and want someone to match your depth. In meditation, it was day, night, day, night, and you’re moving from watching tv to doing sudoku at the table, to work, to sleep, to tv again, it’s like a monotonous cycle where you’re constantly “busy” but more like you’re trying to keep yourself distracted. Meaning, if something came in and jolted your heart 💘 into action, you’d no longer have an obsession with sudoku, you’re just bored.

9 Swords above 4 Cups, these two cards pretty much cover the vibe here. It’s just blah, everything is blah, overthinking, mental prison, feeling dissatisfied, apathetic, and bored. Either you’re avoiding someone or they’re avoiding you, it’s like you/they don’t want to end the connection officially, or directly discuss things, because what’s the point? If you’re not avoiding someone. then you’re avoiding spending money, meaning a lot more time at home. Sudoku. App games. Nonogram Color is my jam, personally. Could just be a case of the winter blues for those up North, the social scene is empty, people are busy, everyone is broke, half stopped eating gluten for New Years, etc.

What’s going on in January:

The High Priestess:

She who knows the truth. Queen of Wands is the person being avoided, for that story, and there is no real communication between you. If you’re married, someone could be keeping secrets. Whoever is in this energy is in 2 Swords, they think about leaving but feel like they can’t, or they shouldn’t, or they’re stuck because of xyz…essentially keeping themselves stuck. 8 Cups is on their mind a lot though, or yours, and it’s being kept quiet and ignored until it’s an actual decision being made. Or not. For some this is just you, or what you’re needing, 4 Cups doesn’t make a decision, they lose opportunities because everything is “blah”, all four cups aren’t IT, is it even a loss? You’re feeling stuck but you’re not feeling the confidence, attractiveness, social charm & enthusiasm or drive that it would take to get yourself back out there, away from whatever has you stuck right now.

The Devil:

This is what’s keeping you stuck, I assume it’s a relationship, but what kind idk. Could be marriage, work, someone you look up to like a parent or older sibling, could be anyone, that’s put you in this frame of mind. The Devil has us in chains, moving in toxic cycles over and over again until we realize it and stop. This cycle is about working together after difficult experiences, 9 Wands. Or actual battles, painful experiences, then they want to cooperate, or expect it. Like you owe them that, if a person, or that could be your way of behaving that’s toxic, apply however. 8 Cups at the bottom again, you just want to leave it behind. Or switch the roles, someone wants off the merry go round to nowhere. Like there’s no need for 9 Wands, painful perseverance, if it doesn’t exist at all, and why should it? This could describe addictions or toxic behaviors that don’t add anything and only take away from what could be a decent relationship - 3 Pentacles. This could also be someone you work with, making the dynamic harder to just overcome, we don’t tend to be as blunt or cut & dry with casual acquaintances, and one could be stepping all over your boundaries.

4 Cups:

You don’t even care anymore. Sudoku. Constantly juggling work and sleep, pretending you’re busy, pretending you’ll get back to them or call them when you are free, you’re making it clear you’re not really interested in this anymore. It’s also possible that this is the major change in you this month. The main energy can be you stressing out whether someone is cheating or not, are they talking to other people, are they flirting with Bob?? With this row it’s complete apathy, fk it, let Bob have them if that’s even a thing, you don’t even care, and don’t know why you ever did really. Or switch that, if someone is pulling back that’s why, they’re done being upset about this, back and forth and back and forth.

King of Swords:

Oi. Well this is damning for some of you, here are the mind games. King of Swords is an intelligent person, worldly, experienced, he’s seen some shit and knows the answer to just about everything in the most logical & detached way. He can be pretty cold, but not mean, it’s just either black or it’s white, period. Clarified by The Emperor, this is a boss personality, an authority, here’s how we are doing things and here’s how we’re not doing things. It’s about 50/50. For half, this person sets rules and boundaries for their own benefit, like “do as I say not as I do”, essentially mind games centered around control and “who is the boss”, seeing as they’re the self proclaimed boss. For the other half, this is the person being fkd with, they’re standing up for themselves through any bs mind games or perceived power trips, and putting an end to that, enough is enough. Could be you on either side of this. Could literally be your boss, and they’re open to communication but will do what they’re going to decide is right and that’s that.

The Chariot rev:

No progress, no movement out of this situation, 8 Cups officially comes out to clarify that this is playing on your mind but you don’t actually leave it behind. I asked for advice, 6 Pentacles rev is breadcrumbing energy, just enough to keep you hanging on, 2 Swords showing confusion, indecision, ignoring, there’s a major lack in *real* communication…and 5 Cups. You don’t want to hurt them, but they’re not really giving you anything worthwhile either. Or switch it. For someone it’s definitely a boss, maybe they won’t let you take sick time, vacation time, they don’t listen when you suggest improvements to any toxic bs going on, or they’re part of the bs gang so what can you do? No matter the situation, the Divine Timing Oracle is very positive for you, hopefully you won’t be blocked by a rev Chariot for too long. Have faith things are as they should be, or this Oracle wouldn’t come out.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Libra, Aquarius, Pisces, Cancer, Capricorn & Taurus

Oracle: ✨

30 Divine Timing ⏱

How often do you feel that you want things in your life to change NOW? Not two years from not, not even two months, but: Right. This. Instant! Seldom do we see the whole picture of why our lives are unfolding the way they are. We don’t need to. What we need to do is surrender to the way things are right now. This doesn’t mean to not take action when a situation is untenable. What it means is to let your life unfold before you so that you have access to all the information, all the lessons, and all the people you will need to go where you are headed. Divine timing is at work in this situation. Try not to fight it. Instead go within during meditation and ask the questions you want answers to: “why not now?” “how can I best prepare myself?” “what lessons do I need to learn prior to the change I want to see?” You will get answers.

We enter into January as:

The Emerald Stone 🧩

“The heart knows what the eyes cannot see.”

There are times when things happen to us and no explanation is possible. Often our journey brings us full circle, leaving many of us to wonder why. The Emerald Stone is inviting you to follow through in whatever is before you. Going back is not an option. Forward movement will change your entire perspective on life - for the better. You may now be able to hear something that you have been told many times. Your reward will be a closer relationship with yourself. If Emerald Stone sparkles for you, it is with the understanding that you are now developing a new perception of things. The Stone welcomes you out of the dark and into your heart.

What is to be learned in January:

Salmon Chairs 🌷

“Come sit in my chair and feel my love”.

People, places and events are being drawn to you beyond your wildest imagination. Aim higher, for you will draw even greater experiences into your life. It is time to step up to the next level. All “things” are energy and will be drawn to you when you allow your energy to grow. The Salmon Chairs is being brought to you as a gift, to raise your faith and self esteem. It is a gentle and profound change in the way one relates to themselves, and the world. We create the life we feel we deserve. Often we feel we must do something to prepare, yet Salmon Chairs says “Stay in the light of truth, meditate, and relax - if you drink in the light and allow spiritual wealth, you will be surrounded by material wealth.” This is about subtle action, and receiving is an action. You are being told to sit still and receive the bounty that is coming to you. Salmon Chairs can also signify a love relationship in the wings, it’s your choice to receive it. It may also be a present relationship that’s moving to the next level, both spiritually and physically.

Salmon may be a lucky color 🩷

[dearsnow]

THE BROKEN AND THE BASTARD

- you find your fate, your love, your stars outside of the feast thrown in honor of your family. (jon snow x fem!lannister!reader, small hurt + fluff, THE FIRST STEP IN THE RELATIONSHIP OMG), part of the standstill collection

word count: 1,167

STANDSTILL: The arrival of the Lannisters and Baratheons in Winterfell has caused the world to quiet for just a moment- a moment long enough to last lifetimes.

a/n - !!!!!!!!!! IT HAPPENED!!!! more to come with this series :) also the link on “standstill” takes you to the masterlist if you want to read the other parts + context for this

You feel horribly out of place among the rest of your family. Your father has given you solace in moments like these, in that you shouldn’t let the whispers of others define your abilities. How you shouldn’t give them ammo, but instead carry your definition as a shield. His advice can’t protect you from everything, though; it surely can’t protect you from yourself.

Swarms of thoughts fill your head, none of them good. This party, this feast, you need to leave. You’re not welcomed. You don’t belong. They’re all staring at you, all of them. You can’t escape it. You love your father, but you will always be his. His mistake. Your grandfather’s greatest disappointment. Leave, now.

You rise from your seat and slip out the door. No one seems to notice your absence.

It’s outside in the bitingly cold air you find Jon. He has his sword in hand, swinging furiously at the poor straw dummy that holds everything he could ever hate. He’s dressed plainly, as you’re wishing you were. The thin sleeves of your fancy dress do nothing to stop the nipping of the wind.

Music wafts from inside the castle, all but eating the sound of your footsteps. You stand quietly for a moment. Observing. Watching as he finally notices you and leaves his sword.

“You should be inside. The feast is for your family, after all.” He rasps. His eyebrows are furrowed in what you can only imagine is the frustration of not belonging. It’s a feeling you know well.

“I’m not meant to be in there,” you whisper. “And I noticed you were missing. So I came to find you.”

He shakes a few early snowflakes out of his hair. “There’s enough guards in there. You would be safe.”

“It’s not my safety I worry about. It’s how they look at me. Like I’m but a peasant child serving cups to the small council.” Your voice strains. It’s horrible, how their eyes pierce you as though you did something wrong by simply existing. “I’m the imp’s poor daughter. That’s all they’ll ever see. I decided that not being there at all is better than being a jester, serving the purpose of a joke to be told then passed over.”

He nods. He can feel his heart ache as you describe his own experiences; being stared at and brushed aside, like your parents are all anyone could ever think of you as. There is nothing he wouldn’t do to be seen, truly seen. Seen as a Stark, a good man, worthy of something. Anything.

“I’m not allowed in the feasts. The most I can do is sit in the corner with a plate as I watch them eat, watch them talk, watch them do everything I wish I could. In the parties I’m allowed, I get the stares as well.”

The dark night does nothing to hide the storms of sadness etching themselves in your slight frown. You can see the familiarity in his eyes. Of course. He’s a bastard, and you’re the broken Lannister. Your life story must surely hit close to home. You’re so similar yet so different.

Stars twinkle overhead. Coldly, at first, though their light slowly warms your spirit. If you look closely, there’s something written in each one; the secrets of the universe, laid out for everyone to see. All you need to do is tip your head up and read.

The open air is nice, Jon thinks. There’s nothing but opportunities in the sky above. He takes one for his own.

A warm hand places itself on your hip, and you look down. Suddenly, you see. You know. You can feel the innermost workings of the man in front of you, clear as a sunny day. You put your hand on his shoulder, and you know he sees you too. You thank the stars for your sight, for letting you into the heart of someone you’re sure despised you just a month ago. They’ve given you more than you could ever ask for.

The music, muffled only slightly from the castle walls, carries you. You sway slightly to the rhythm, letting him guide your steps. There’s a small smile on his face, and your lips follow suit. The music picks up, and so do your movements.

You’re breathless, spinning and laughing and sometimes stepping on his feet, though he doesn’t seem to care. The ground beneath you flashes by in a whirl of browns and grays before you feel a hand resting on your cheek.

“Can I?” He asks, his dark eyes saying everything he cannot. His hands suddenly feel very heavy on your skin.

You nod. Sparks fly from the stars, twisting and turning your fate as he gently leans in. As his lips brush yours, everything feels right. His stubble against your chin, his hand cupping the back of your head, and yours wrapped around his shoulders- the cold wind itself can’t cool the heat working it’s way across your cheeks.

You break apart after a long moment, though in your mind it was far too short. He stares at you for a moment, his face a map of warring emotions. You stare back.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” You question, reaching up to brush a lock of hair behind his ear.

He hesitates. “I’m just your guard. I may come from a noble family, but I’m…” he trails off before seemingly coming to terms with what he’s about to say. “I’m the Stark’s bastard. You shouldn’t be with someone like me.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll love you from today ‘til the moment you leave for the Wall, probably far after that as well. Any dwarf is a bastard in his father’s eyes, and from what I’ve seen, it carries on to his child as well. We’ll be the broken and the bastard.”

There’s a moment of silence as he takes in your words. “I can’t do that to you.”

“Oh, but you already have.” You smile, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. He pulls his hand away from your face to touch his own, running his fingers over where your lips were. “I’ve fallen. Are you going to pick me up or not?”

He looks up to the sky, undoubtedly searching the stars for the answers of the universe. He seems to find what he’s looking for.

He scoops you up like your weight is but a feather on the back of an eagle, spinning just a bit to the music still playing in the background.

“Of course, my lady. I can’t just leave you, can I?”

“You absolutely cannot.” You sigh, sinking into his arms. The moon watches as he sets you down and you get to work braiding his hair and telling him all about the secrets of your stars, and he oh-so quietly tells you his. It smiles, content in it’s place. There is nothing greater, it decides, than the love of two comets paving the path to something better.

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

Taglist (comment to join): @peaked-in-third-grade @hueanhdang

[mixelation]

i feel like posting something, so here's one of those "everyone is impressed with sakura!!" scenes but it's from a wild AU

the AU is wild in that it's an AU of another AU. the "main" AU is one i've posted snippets of before (here and here), where Sakura is Kakashi's apprentice. The main gist is that Kizashi dies saving Kakashi's life and asks him on his death bed to watch out for Sakura, and things spiral out of control.

This is from an AU of that AU where Kakashi and Sakura transmigrate into a NEW AU where Minato lives. Yes yes, shut the fuck up, it was summer 2020 when I started this and my life was weird. The main points of this is AU are: Minato survived but Kushina didn't. The Uchiha coup didn't happen but ""someone"" massacred everyone but Itachi and Sasuke. Itachi is.... team 7's sensei 0:)

This scene is from a team lunch at the Namikaze house.

***

“Are you seriously talking about different types of soap?” Naruto asks, sounding offended. 

“What else would we talk about?” Minato asks, bemused. 

“Something cool,” Naruto replies. “What’s the point of you having cool ANBU guys over if you just talk about soap?”

The other genin seem similarly unimpressed with the conversation. 

“Maa, we can talk about something cool,” Kakashi tells him. “For example, I recently bought a cast-iron pan.”

The genin quickly excuse themselves off the back porch and into the yard. They start a game disguised as training, where Sakura and Naruto test Sasuke’s new sharingan with various ninjutsu, trying to get a hit in. It’s mostly Naruto trying to overwhelm Sasuke with clones while Sakura hangs back, occasionally substituting out with a clone to try and take a jab at Sasuke. 

Kakashi watches them out of the corner of his eye while Itachi describes some sort of misadventure with the mission office. That’s a pretty good formation for Sakura, Kakashi thinks, especially if he figures out a good finishing jutsu for her…

“Who did you say you talked to?” Minato asks, frowning. “New teams should be getting priority for D-ranks.”

“Tsk, tsk, Sensei,” Kakashi interrupts. “You said no work talk.”

Minato sighs, a grin tugging at his lips. “You’re right. I’m getting out the sake.”

“I don’t…” Itachi starts, but a drink is poured for him nonetheless. Naruto shrieks in dismay as his real body narrowly avoids being set on fire by Sasuke. Minato pauses for just a fraction of a second, glancing over at his child.

Itachi stares in dismay at his cup of sake while they chat. Kakashi is reminded almost painfully of his time on Team 7, before Minato was the Yellow Flash and when they had down time to just talk. It’s not the same, of course, because Itachi is nothing like Rin or Obito, but it’s still something that Kakashi had previously thought he’d never have again. He’d never appreciated it when he had it, and he wishes he could stretch this moment out forever. 

Minato is cut off mid-sentence when Naruto abruptly screams in actual pain. 

Here’s how it went down, as far as Kakashi can tell: Sakura, carefully pacing around the fray of Sasuke versus several Naruto clones, had determined which Naruto was the real one based on past patterns of behavior. When Naruto had charged in to take Sasuke on with his own body, Sakura had decided to give him a hand by substituting out with his hitai-ate, positioning herself on Naruto’s shoulders and therefore above Sasuke and angling to smack him in the face with the broad side of her sword. 

She hadn’t been expecting Naruto to suddenly yell and jerk in pain, though, and she slips. Sasuke is also distracted by Naruto’s yell and does nothing to dodge the sword, now coming blade-first at his shoulder. Sakura moves to correct herself, looking panicked, and she doesn’t get to find out if she was about to accidentally stab Sasuke or not because Kakashi flash-steps over and yanks her back. 

“What did I tell you about being reckless with a sword?” he asks her.

“Sorry, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura tells him sheepishly, dangling by her armpits from Kakashi’s hands. 

Itachi, on the scene as quickly as Kakashi, has not stopped his brother from falling over. He does, however, offer him a hand up. 

“What even happened?” Minato asks, perplexed. He’s squatted behind his son, also fallen on his ass, examining the back of his head. “You’re bleeding.”

“I don’t know!” Naruto replies. “Sakura, what the heck.”

“You need to tie your hitai-ate properly,” Minato scolds, gingerly touching the back of Naruto’s head. Naruto’s hitai-ate is in Minato’s other hand, because the Namikaze house is so littered with Hiraishin seals that Minato had been able to grab it out of the air before teleporting to his son’s aid, all before Kakashi had even gotten his hands around Sakura’s arm. “Another ninja can’t grab it with substitution if it’s secured--”

“Dad, I know,” Naruto cuts him off. “I know how to tie my hitai-ate, you know!”

Minato looks down at the hitai-ate in his hands. It’s indeed tied correctly, with several gold hairs sticking out of the knot. 

“Did you tie it into your hair?” Sakura asks, affronted. “How was I supposed to know--”

“Sakura,” Kakashi cuts her off. 

Sakura twitches but apologizes for ripping Naruto’s hair out. She seems unconcerned about hurting Naruto physically, but her apology does turn gravely, comically genuine about the hair. If Naruto had yanked out Sakura’s hair, Kakashi is not sure even Minato would be able to save him from her wrath. Hair is very serious business for her. 

“Am I bald?” Naruto asks, sounding horrified, and Sakura’s eyes widen in horror. Sasuke snorts. 

“It’s not like you can look any worse,” Sasuke tells him with a smirk. Naruto sticks his tongue out at him, and Sakura relaxes. 

Now that it’s clear no one has been seriously injured or emotionally scarred by hair-pulling, the genin collapse into juvenile name calling. Minato stands, turning his son’s hitai-ate over in his hands with an oddly curious look on his face. The hitai-ate is still knotted at the back, with several of Naruto’s golden hairs sticking out. 

“Did you not notice extra resistance?” Itachi asks Sakura with a tone of disapproval. “You shouldn’t rip things off your allies like that.”

“I thought…” Sakura waves her arms in a sort of helpless gesture. “I noticed it was on better than Kakashi’s, but Kakashi doesn’t tie his right.”

“Oi,” Kakashi objects at the same time Naruto squawks, “So you just ripped it off my head?!”

“Maybe that’s your finishing mood,” Sasuke says, crossing his arms and turning his mocking smirk to Sakura. “Just substitute yourself with someone’s hair--”

“Sakura,” Minato interrupts, and everyone goes quiet. “How did you do that?”

Sakura shifts nervously. “I’m not sure what you mean?” she says, voice carefully polite. “It’s just the substitution jutsu…”

“Most people can’t move something that well-attached,” Itachi tells her. He sounds dismissive, like he thinks this limitation is due to a lack of effort from other people. Maybe to a genius like Itachi, being able to push the limits of the substitution jutsu is just a matter of practicing it. Kakashi had, being a genius himself, been conceptualizing Sakura’s experimentation about the same way. 

...although, now that Kakashi thinks about it, he’s not actually sure he could dislodge someone’s properly attached hitai-ate with the substitution jutsu. At least, not on the first try. He forms the hand signs. 

“Sempai,” Itachi snaps, whipping his head around to frown at Kakashi when he tries to take Itachi’s hitai-ate.

“What’s her range?” Minato asks, even as he shoots Kakashi an annoyed look when Kakashi tries it on him next. 

Neither Kakashi nor Itachi answer, currently distracted by trying to substitute with various pieces of the other’s uniforms. Neither of them are successful. 

“What are you two doing?” Sasuke, sharingan still active and eyes darting between them, asks.

“Sakura,” Minato tries next, apparently fine with his shinobi trying to pull petty pranks on each other instead of listening to him under these circumstances. He shoots her his friendliest smile. “Can you substitute out with my hitai-ate?”

Sakura stiffens, and Kakashi drops his attempts to take Itachi’s shoes. 

“Respectfully, I’d rather not,” Sakura says flatly. Kakashi puts a hand on her shoulder, and Itachi yanks so hard at his weapon’s pouch that he has to shift his stance ever so slightly. 

“What’s going on?” Naruto asks, leaning his head back to blink up at his father. “Can I have my hitai-ate back?”

“I’ve just never heard of anyone using the substitution jutsu like that,” Minato says mildly, handing Naruto back his hitai-ate. 

“Yeah, Sakura-chan is really smart, you know!” Naruto agrees. 

Sakura’s face is pink. Kakashi is sure it’s more from the Hokage’s words than Naruto’s. 

Naruto picks at the knot of his hitai-ate, looking forlorn as hair falls from it. Minato very deliberately puts his hands together in a hand sign, and then suddenly Itachi is staggering back and Minato’s weight is on Kakashi’s shoulders. 

Kakashi’s eyes are bare, his hitai-ate now on the ground where Minato had been standing. Sakura has done this to him countless times, which is about the only reason he stays on his feet. It’s a close call though, as Minato is a full grown man and not a preteen girl, and he also did that so quickly Kakashi didn’t have time to brace himself. Kakashi does some embarrassing teetering, and Sakura yelps in surprise and jumps back. 

“Oh, interesting,” Minato says. “You really don’t tie your hitai-ate very well, Kakashi.”

“In my defense,” Kakashi replies, trying to keep his cool with the Hokage squatting on his shoulders, “I do have to take it on and off a lot.”

“Hokage-sama, please,” Itachi hisses. His hitai-ate has been jerked to the side slightly by a failed attempt from Minato, but it’s still in place. 

“Sakura, can you substitute out with Itachi’s hitai-ate?” Minato asks, leaning his elbow on the top of Kakashi’s head. “I can’t seem to get it.”

Sasuke’s eyes are darting furiously around the whole group, trying to demystify the Hokage’s interest. Even Naruto looks suspiciously around as he re-ties his hitai-ate. 

“Uh,” Sakura replies. “I’ve never… tried…?”

“Go on, then,” Minato prompts. Kakashi can practically hear the smile in his voice. “I promise you won’t get in trouble.”

Sakura only hesitates a few moments. Itachi crosses his arms as his student appears on his shoulders. Sakura looks less sure than the usually gleeful look of chaos she reserves for Kakashi, and Itachi levels Minato with an unimpressed look. 

Minato, however, is clearly entering whatever excited fugue he gets into when he’s developing new and horrible fuinjutsu experiments. 

“Alright, Sasuke,” Minato continues in his best sensei voice. He drums the top of Kakashi’s head with his fingers. “Can you tell me what Sakura is doing that I’m not?”

Or, perhaps, Minato is having flashbacks to being a jounin sensei himself, because he’s clearly now guiding Sasuke through analyzing the situation with his new doujutsu, instead of Kakashi who has his out and has had it for years. 

Sasuke looks taken aback for a moment. Then he straightens and says, “I’m not sure. I can’t… really see in that much detail yet.” He shoots his brother a look, as if asking if that’s normal. Itachi just tilts his head. “Sakura’s using a lot less chakra than you three, though.”

“Ah, so maybe us old folks are doing too much,” Minato says, and he shifts on Kakashi’s back. 

Sakura very awkwardly and gingerly slides off of Itachi's shoulders. 

“It’s not like moving a big object,” she says. “It’s like-- um. The difference between pulling the headband harder and undoing the knot.”

“Hmm,” Minato replies, like this metaphor makes perfect sense to him. 

“I don’t get it,” Naruto says loudly. “What’s so interesting about-- DAD!”

Minato is suddenly holding his son under one arm. Kakashi snatches Naruto’s hitai-ate out of the air. 

“This is some really impressive chakra work, Sakura,” Minato says, even as he grins cheekily down at his pouting son. 

Sakura doesn’t preen like she would if Kakashi complimented her. Instead, she looks more quietly pleased, her cheeks going pink and a smile tugging at her lips. 

[fannish-karmiya]

Is Wei Wuxian's Cultivation Actually Harmful to Him?

Throughout Wei Wuxian’s first life, he frequently argues with Lan Wangji over his cultivation. Lan Wangji believes that his cultivation will harm him and eventually destroy him, while Wei Wuxian insists that he has everything under control. Many readers take Lan Wangji’s warnings at face value, leading to the common fandom perception that demonic cultivation (more accurately, the ghost path) is inherently harmful to Wei Wuxian and that he should indeed give it up.

But does the text actually back that up, when we examine Wei Wuxian’s use of his cultivation? While Wei Wuxian does experience a few losses of control, I would argue that they are far more due to circumstances than anything else, and not a sign that the cultivating with resentful energy is inherently harmful to a cultivator’s body or that loss of control is an inevitable conclusion.

Preconceptions

Lan Wangji is the character who most often tries to tell Wei Wuxian that his cultivation is harmful. Immediately when Wei Wuxian returns from the Burial Mounds and meets Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji again while torturing Wen Chao, Lan Wangji expresses concern:

One against two, Lan WangJi still refused to back off. He gazed at Wei WuXian, “Wei Ying, for cultivating an evil path you would eventually have to pay. Throughout time, there has not been a single exception.”

Wei WuXian, “I can pay.”

Seeing how unconcerned he seemed to be, Lan WangJi lowered his voice, “The path would not only damage your body, but your heart as well.”

(Chapter 62, Exiled Rebels translation)

Now, Wei Wuxian’s path (guidao, the ghost path) is brand new. He invented it, being the first person to ever successfully cultivate using yuanqi, or the resentful energy of dead humans. So why does Lan Wangji speak so assuredly of the harm it can cause?

The term ‘cultivating an evil path’ is telling. Wei Wuxian’s cultivation is a new path, but there are other dark paths of cultivation which exist. The Nie sect’s sabres are an example; they absorb the killing intent and evil energy of the yao and guai they kill, and over time their sabres become more and more powerful but also lead the wielder closer and closer to an inevitable qi deviation.

Of course, Lan Wangji is not aware of the Nie sect’s technique, which is a strictly kept secret, at this point. Nie Mingjue only seems to have told Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao because they were his sworn brothers. But there are surely other paths like this which are publicly known.

We know about other dark rituals which are not part of Wei Wuxian’s ghost path, after all, and ‘backlash’ is a frequent risk, either due to making the user vulnerable or failing to fulfil the contract one agreed to.

The body sacrificing ritual which Mo Xuanyu uses, for example, will cause backlash if you fail to keep up your end of the deal.

It was an ancient, forbidden technique. Compared to an array, it resembled a curse more. The caster of the array injures themselves by creating incisions on their body, and draws the array and writes the incantations using their own blood, finishing by sitting in the center of the array. They can then summon an extremely villainous ghoul and ask for it to complete their wish. The price to pay was to offer their body to the evil spirit, with their own soul returning back to Earth.

This was the forbidden technique opposite to stealing another’s body—offering one’s body.

[...]

The difficult part was that, as soon as the evil spirit has taken over the body of the caster, the contract is sealed by default. The evil spirit must grant their wish, or else the curse will cause a backlash. The spirit in possession of the body will be completely annihilated, never to be born again!

(Chapter 2, Exiled Rebels translation)

Interestingly, the harm here is to the ‘evil spirit’ if they fail to keep up their end of the contract. Well, also the caster who gives up his or her life in exchange. At any rate, this sort of thing seems to be a frequent risk of dark cultivation techniques. The paperman technique is also quite risky:

The good thing was that Wei WuXian had once learnt a certain technique of the dark arts—the paper metamorphosis.

Although it was indeed useful, it had a number of restrictions as well. Not only was the time strictly limited, the paperman must also return as it were, after it had been released. There mustn’t even be a single scratch on it. If, on its way, it was torn apart or broken in any way, the soul would receive the same degree of harm—from a year of unconsciousness to a whole lifetime of lunacy. Thus, one must be extremely careful.

(Chapter 47, Exiled Rebels translation)

This seems to be a frequent concern with any dark technique, which probably is what led Lan Wangji to believe that Wei Wuxian’s new path would be similarly dangerous. It’s also very worth noting that he grew up in Gusu Lan, which is known for being even more judgmental towards dark cultivation than other sects.

He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.”

Jiang Cheng stared at Lan WangJi, cautious, “Second Young Master Lan, all of us understand the Lan Sect’s ways.

[...]

Wei WuXian had been angered as well, “Lan WangJi! Do you really have to make this difficult at such a point in time? You want me to go to the Cloud Recesses for the GusuLan Sect’s confinement punishment? Who do you think you are, what do you think the GusuLan Sect is?! You really think that I won’t resist?!”

(Chapter 62, Exiled Rebels translation)

While many people speak negatively of Wei Wuxian’s cultivation path, Lan Qiren is particularly virulent when Wei Wuxian first proposes the theory as a teen:

Everyone in the room was stunned. Lan QiRen sprang to his feet, “The essence of exorcising demons and annihilating ghosts is to liberate! You do not study the methods of liberation, and even think about increasing their energy of resentment! You reverse the natural order, and ignore ethics and morality!”

[...]

Another book came flying from Lan QiRen. He spoke harshly, “Then, let me ask you again! How do you make sure that the resentful energy only listens to you and does not harm others?”

Wei WuXian ducked while speaking, “I haven’t thought of it yet!”

Lan QiRen raged, “If you thought of it, the cultivation world would not allow your existence! Get out!”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

Due to their father’s seclusion and their mother’s imprisonment, Lan Wangji and his brother were raised by Lan Qiren. With his uncle having such a black and white view of such matters, it’s understandable that Lan Wangji would absorb that and struggle to reconcile the Wei Wuxian he knows and loves with the man who is cultivating an ‘evil’ path.

With his own sect and family so negatively inclined towards Wei Wuxian’s cultivation, I think Lan Wangji was primed to see every behaviour of Wei Wuxian’s through this lens. Similarly, the audience hears the younger Lan Wangji repeat these warnings so many times that I think many readers wind up believing him, too.

Confirmation Bias

However, I think much of this is actually a case of confirmation bias. Lan Wangji is predisposed to see Wei Wuxian’s cultivation as harmful, and is actively looking for signs that it is; he winds up correlating all sorts of things to Wei Wuxian’s cultivation as a result.

He does so when he visits Wei Wuxian in Yunmeng:

Lan WangJi, “Last time, during the hunt on Phoenix Mountain, have you noticed certain signs?”

Wei WuXian, “What signs?”

Lan WangJi, “The loss of control.”

Wei WuXian, “You mean me almost getting into a fight with Jin ZiXuan? I think you got something wrong. I want to fight with Jin ZiXuan whenever I see him.”

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

Which is true! Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixuan just do not get on at all. And if we go back to Phoenix Mountain, it’s clear that this was a perfectly ordinary fight:

However, Jiang YanLi didn’t turn around. Jin ZiXuan was even more enraged. He caught up to her in just three strides and was about to grab her hand when a shadow suddenly flashed before his eyes. Before he could see who it was, he received a blow on his chest. Jin ZiXuan swung his sword across and backed away.

When he finally could see, he raged, “Wei WuXian, why is it you again?!”

Wei WuXian blocked Jiang YanLi behind him, raging as well, “I haven’t fucking said it yet—why is it you again?!”

Jin ZiXuan, “Attacking because of nothing have you gone mad?!”

Wei WuXian struck with his palm, “That’s exactly what I’m doing! What do you mean because of nothing? What are you doing trying to grab my shijie just because of how ashamed you are?!”

Jin ZiXuan dodged to the side and returned to him a sword attack, “If I don’t grab her should I let her walk randomly around the mountain alone?!”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jin Zixuan is described as being ‘enraged’ and tries to grab Jiang Yanli. He’s clearly being very hotheaded here himself. What brother wouldn’t be enraged after this, especially given Jin Zixuan’s pattern of speaking of Jiang Yanli derisively?

Earlier, Lan Wangji had forcibly kissed Wei Wuxian while he was blindfolded, and yet he didn’t display any loss of control or temper problems then.

(I also think this ties into how people tend to judge Wei Wuxian more harshly due to his lower social class; he’s often no more brash and arrogant than his peers, but because he’s the son of a servant only he is judged for it. Look at Jin Zixuan pulling his sword on a man who no longer carries a sword! He isn’t criticised for that. But I digress.)

Lan Wangji also believes that Wei Wuxian’s cultivation is doing him spiritual harm, using evidence such as Wei Wuxian’s unwillingness to carry his sword or receive spiritual energy to help him heal:

Suddenly, he felt an itch at his throat. Blood began to rise up his chest. Trying to restrain it, Wei WuXian coughed a couple of times. Seeing that Lan WangJi was going to grab his hand again, Wei WuXian dodged, “What are you doing?”

Lan WangJi, “Your injuries.”

Wei WuXian, “No need. Why use spiritual energy for such a small wound? It’ll get better after some sitting around.”

Lan WangJi didn’t waste any words with him, grabbing for his hand again. At this point, two people came from outside of the cave. Wen Qing’s voice sounded, “Get better after some sitting around? Did you think I’m dead?”

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

He observes this back when he visited the Burial Mounds in the day, and many years later tells Wen Ning that this was the conclusion he drew:

Wen Ning turned around. He couldn’t help but ask, “Young Master Lan, you don’t seem too surprised about this. Did you… Did you know about this as well?”

“…” Lan WangJi managed, “I only knew that his spiritual powers were somehow impaired.”

But to think this was the truth.

(Chapter 89, Exiled Rebels translation)

Working with incomplete information (since he doesn’t know that Wei Wuxian has no golden core, he instead assumes that he is being harmed spiritually by his cultivation) and a pre-existing bias against demonic cultivation, Lan Wangji viewed Wei Wuxian as someone who was bound to lose control at some point, and everything became evidence to prove what he already believed.

Loss of Control

However, I think it’s arguable that the instances where Wei Wuxian loses control are not an inevitability of his cultivation path. Instead, they occur in extremely dangerous combat situations where Wei Wuxian has no allies and is being besieged by hundreds or thousands of enemies.

I want to go over three instances where things go sideways for Wei Wuxian with his cultivation in his first life: Wen Ning’s awakening, the ambush at Qiongqi Path, and the battle at Nightless City.

Now, I wouldn’t even describe Wen Ning’s revival as a loss of control. Wei Wuxian had spent months trying to revive Wen Ning, and in the end he wound up waking up while Wei Wuxian was down in Yiling, not at the Burial Mounds to keep the situation under control. It’s like an unwatched pot boiling over.

Wei WuXian, “Didn’t I say not to touch the talismans on him?!”

Wen Qing didn’t even have the spare seconds to be surprised that Lan WangJi was here. She answered, “Nobody touched them! Not a single person went into the Cave! He tore them off on his own when he suddenly went on a rampage. Not only the ones on himself, he destroyed the restriction seals at the blood pool and the Cave as well! All of the fierce corpses in the blood pool got out. Wei WuXian, go save Granny and the others. They won’t be able to hold up much longer!!!”

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Honestly, it’s hard to know based on this what caused Wen Ning to wake up or to return to consciousness. My suspicion is that Wei Wuxian’s efforts had worked, and he woke up with a lot of excess resentful energy he needed to work off; hence going to beat up all the other fierce corpses in the Blood Pool.

After this, Wei Wuxian takes measures to ensure that Wen Ning doesn’t lose consciousness again. For the next year until the ambush at Qiongqi Path, there are absolutely no incidents, and Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian go on night hunts together frequently.

Things only go wrong during the ambush.

Wei WuXian laughed coldly, “You’re seeking your own death!”

As he finished, Wen Ning raised his hand and tore off the red string that hung a talisman at his neck.

After the string snapped, his body wavered, and the muscles on his face began to twist. Marks that resembled black cracks crawled up his neck to his cheeks. He suddenly lifted his head, letting out a long, inhuman roar!

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

So Wen Ning wears a talisman which presumably suppresses his resentful energy, and which he must remove in order to fight at full strength. After Jin Zixuan shows up and completely fails to de-escalate the situation at all, Wen Ning kills him:

Wei WuXian was suppressing a blazing flame of hatred. His voice was cold, “Jin ZiXuan, move away right now. I won’t touch you, but you’re not going to provoke me either.”

Seeing that he still refused to yield, Jin ZiXuan suddenly lunged forward, as if trying to hold him down, “Why can’t you just back off for once?! A-Li is still…”

Just as he reached toward Wei WuXian, he heard a strange, heavy noise.

The noise was almost a bit too near. Jin ZiXuan paused in surprise. He looked down and finally saw the hand that pierced his chest.

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s pretty clear that Wen Ning saw Jin Zixuan lunging towards Wei Wuxian and interpreted him as a threat. As objective observers, we can see that this is actually quite understandable, if tragic, and realistically could have happened similarly in a mundane setting with no magic. But Wei Wuxian of course would start to feel doubt when something so terrible happens:

He was clearly controlling Wen Ning properly.

Even though he activated Wen Ning’s rampage mode, he should still be able to control him.

He’d clearly always been able to control him perfectly.

He didn’t want to kill Jin ZiXuan at all.

He never had the intention to kill Jin ZiXuan at all! It was just that moment. He didn’t know why, but all of a sudden he wasn’t able to control it… He had suddenly lost control!

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

Wei Wuxian had always been able to control Wen Ning perfectly before. Honestly, it’s not a surprise that his control was looser in a situation like this; he’s in the midst of an ambush where 300 people are trying to kill him! Realistically, Jin Zixuan bears some responsibility in his own death, too. When you’re trying to negotiate a ceasefire, you don’t fail to give the target of the attack any assurance of his safety and then lunge for him threateningly! Of course Wen Ning saw him as a threat and acted to defend Wei Wuxian.

Later, Wei Wuxian observes that during his ‘rampage’ state, Wen Ning draws his guidance from Wei Wuxian’s impressions of people:

Listening to him stutter as he apologized over and over again, all of a sudden, Wei WuXian felt extremely ridiculous.

It wasn’t Wen Ning’s fault at all.

It was his own fault.

When on a rampage, Wen Ning was nothing more than a weapon. The person who created the weapon was him. The things it listens to were his orders as well.

At that time, with all the tension and the killing intent on top of how Wei WuXian had never hesitated to show enmity toward Jin ZiXuan in front of Wen Ning, when he was unconscious, Wen Ning recognized Jin ZiXuan as an ‘enemy’ when he attacked, carrying out the order of ‘exterminate’ without a second thought.

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

I actually think that if Wen Ning had killed, say, Jin Zixun, Wei Wuxian would simply have seen it as a case of self-defence and accepted it as that. It’s the fact that Jin Zixuan is the husband of his foster sister (and the one person there he didn’t actually want dead) which turns this into such a tragedy.

The intensely stressful situation in the aftermath of Jin Zixuan’s death is the only time we ever see Wei Wuxian express doubt in his own abilities or regret choosing the ghost path:

With the child’s cries coming to his ears from afar and the scared siblings who were at a complete loss as to what to do in his eyes, Wei WuXian felt his heart sink lower into darkness. He asked himself, Just why have I been locking myself up on Burial Mound all these years? Why do I have to go through all this? Why did I choose to walk this path in the beginning? Why did I make myself like this? What do others see me as? Just what have I gained? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad? Have I gone mad?!

If only he didn’t choose this path in the beginning.

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

I think that during this period, Wei Wuxian was under an immense amount of stress. He was the sole protector of 50 people who the world wanted dead, and he had to be strong and confident for them at all times. Only during his initial panic after Jin Zixuan’s death does that confident front break down and show us just how much the stress must have been wearing on him:

As he thought and thought about it, Wei WuXian suddenly broke into tears.

His voice was submerged in a deep helplessness, “… Can someone tell me… what I’m supposed to do now?”

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

I honestly think that if Wei Wuxian had had someone to lean on and share responsibility with during this time, it would have helped him so much.

In the past, there were only others who asked him what to do. Now, though, he was the one asking others what he should do, and nobody was able to give him an answer.

[...]

Wei WuXian raged, “You can shut the fuck up! It’s already pandemonium the way things are right now! You two can stop adding more trouble onto my platter. Give yourselves in my ass. Did I tell you to do this? Take it out!”

(Chapter 77, Exiled Rebels translation)

Later on, at Nightless City, Wei Wuxian’s loss of control is directly tied by the narrator to his worsening mental state:

The more Wei WuXian panicked, the less control he had. The corpse ignored his command and instead lifted the sword in its hand, slashing it down at Jiang YanLi!

Wei WuXian had lost it, dashing as he shouted, “Stop it, stop it, right now, stop it!”

(Chapter 78, Exiled Rebels translation)

He manages to calm himself down and get back under control:

Jiang YanLi sighed, “A-Xian, you… you should stop first. Don’t, don’t…”

Wei WuXian hurried, “Yes, I’ll stop.”

He took up Chenqing, placed it by his lips, and began to play. He only managed to steady his mind with great effort. This time, the corpses finally stopped ignoring his commands. One after another, strange gurgles echoed in their throats as if they were complaining. Slowly, they bent down.

(Chapter 78, Exiled Rebels translation)

Only when Jiang Yanli is killed by a cultivator aiming for Wei Wuxian does he decide, in his grief and rage, to put the Yinhufu together again:

Yet, no matter the criticism, the blame, Wei WuXian could no longer hear any of them. As if governed by another soul, he reached out and took two objects from within his sleeves. Before everyone’s eyes, he put them together. One half on top and the other below, the two objects snapped into one, letting out a resonating clang.

Wei WuXian placed it on his palm and raised it high into the air.

It was the Stygian Tiger Seal!

(Chapter 78, Exiled Rebels translation)

We know that after the Bloodbath of Nightless City, as this battle comes to be known, Lan Wangji takes Wei Wuxian back to Yiling. However, Wei Wuxian is in a very poor mental state (most likely due to stress, exhaustion, and trauma), and only regains awareness a few days later at the Burial Mounds.

This is when he decides that the Yinhufu is a weapon which he should never have created, and determines to destroy it.

After using it for the second time, he finally decided to destroy one half of the seal. Before he could completely destroy the other half, the siege at Luanzang Hill happened, and it had since then been beyond his capabilities.

(Chapter 30, Exiled Rebels translation)

So Wei Wuxian was actually able to successfully destroy one half of the seal, and start work on the second, in the three months between Nightless City and the First Siege.

Toward his own creation, Wei WuXian was confident to say that even if the sect that got hold of it, made a temple for it, and offered it incense every single day, the remaining half of the Tiger Seal was just a piece of scrap iron. However, Lan WangJi told him something shocking—it appeared that Xue Yang could rebuild the other half of the seal!

Although Xue Yang was young, he was also quite clever, a bizarre eccentric. The LanlingJin Sect discovered that he could use the remaining half of the seal to roughly piece together the other half. Even though the recreated version wasn’t as powerful and couldn’t be used for as long, it could already result in terrible catastrophes.

(Chapter 30, Exiled Rebels translation)

I gather that the first half, he completely neutralised. The second half had not been fully drained of power when the First Siege happened. We never see the First Siege, but I think we can hazard a guess that once the Wens were massacred, Wei Wuxian knew that it was all over, and decided to destroy the second half of the Yinhufu so that no one there could get their hands on it. It is likely the backlash from improperly destroying/neutralising the Yinhufu which led to his corpses turning on him and ripping him apart.

Wei Wuxian does confirm that some sort of backlash killed him:

Wen Ning whispered, “Sect Leader Jiang, Jiang Cheng, brought a siege upon the Burial Mounds. And he killed you.”

Wei WuXian, “I’ll have to clarify this one. He didn’t kill me. I died from a backfire.”

(Chapter 43, Exiled Rebels translation)

“That’s merely hearsay. Although Jiang Cheng was one of the main forces, he did not give Wei WuXian the final blow. Because he cultivates the Demon Path, Wei WuXian’s powers had backfired and he was ripped to pieces.”

“Hahahaha… That’s karma! The ghost soldiers that he created are like unleashed dogs, biting everyone that they come across. It serves him right to be chewed to death!”

(Chapter 1, Exiled Rebels translation)

While the vast majority of information in the prologue is revealed later to be lies, Wei Wuxian does confirm this. Strictly, the ‘ghost soldiers’ were probably his fierce corpses. ‘Ghost’ or ‘Gui’ is used in Modao Zushi’s magic system as a catch-all phrase for dead humans, whether they’re actual ghosts (incorporeal spirits) or reanimated corpses. We know that Wei Wuxian was using huge numbers of fierce corpses to act as guards at the entrance to the Burial Mounds and protect the Wens, after all.

Wei Wuxian’s Second Life

So the risk of backlash is confirmed as a threat when using guidao and other dark cultivation techniques. However, it seems that they either have a clear contract which has to be fulfilled (like in the body sacrifice ritual), or a clearly defined risk which can be mitigated or prevented entirely through careful use.

It’s notable that Wei Wuxian is in control of his cultivation far more often than not, and in his second life we see absolutely no losses of control from him. This is probably down to a few things, one of them being greater experience. He also is no longer working alone; Lan Wangji is nearly always at his side or very nearby, which removes the intense stress of trying to fight against the entire world alone.

Honestly, I can’t even pull up any instances of Wei Wuxian struggling to control his cultivation in his second life or being even mildly harmed by it; there are absolutely none. We only ever see him dealing with mundane exhaustion, stress, and physical injuries.

He recovers very quickly from performing Empathy with Nie Mingjue:

Hearing this, Wei WuXian instantly pulled himself out!

He was still the thin paperman, stuck to the helmet that sealed Nie MingJue’s head. He had tugged loose the knot that tied the iron shells over Nie MingJue’s eyes, revealing a bloodshot eye, opened wide with anger.

[...]

There wasn’t much time left. He must return to his corporal body immediately!

Paperman WuXian flapped his sleeves, flying out as though he were a butterfly.

[...]

A while later, once his soul had returned successfully, Wei WuXian immediately took a deep breath. He raised his head, opened his eyes, and suddenly stood up. Yet, having not expected his body to still be disoriented, he felt dizzy and leaned forward. Seeing this, Lan WangJi caught him in his arms. Wei WuXian lifted his head once more, and the top of his head collided with Lan WangJi’s chin. With a thud, both of them grunted in pain. Wei WuXian rubbed his head with one hand and felt Lan WangJi’s chin with the other, “Ugh! I’m sorry. Lan Zhan, you alright?”

His chin having been stroked a couple of times, Lan WangJi lightly took Wei WuXian’s hand away before shaking his head. Wei WuXian tugged him, “Let’s go!”

(Chapter 50, Exiled Rebels translation)

After this, he is stabbed by Jin Ling and winds up spending four days unconscious in Cloud Recesses. I’ve seen it suggested that his short bout of hallucinating after he wakes up is due to harm from his cultivation, but I firmly disagree. He’d been unconscious for four days after being stabbed!

He immediately let go, almost wanting to roll away. His movement was so large that it hurt the wound at his stomach. He exclaimed an ‘ah’ as he scrunched his brows, finally remembering that he was still injured. Amid the stars before his eyes, Jing Ling, Jiang Cheng, Jiang YanLi, Jiang FengMian, Madam Yu… Many faces spun around in a large circle.

[...]

Only having ensured that his injuries were indeed fine did Lan WangJi finally let him go, “Four days.”

Jin Ling’s sword stabbed right through. The wound hadn’t been shallow at all. How it healed within four days without even leaving a scar behind meant that high level medicine of the GusuLan Sect had to have been necessary. Wei WuXian thanked him, mocking himself along the way, “I’ve reincarnated but somehow I’ve become even weaker. I couldn’t keep going after just a single stab.”

(Chapter 63, Exiled Rebels translation)

After being a bit muddled upon first waking up, he’s fine. He was also dreaming about his past while unconscious, which is why he’s described as seeing all these faces ‘amid the stars before his eyes’. The flashbacks in Refinement and Poisons-Evil are both framed as Wei Wuxian sleeping and dreaming about the past, and he’s thinking about them as a result; he’s not portrayed as actually hallucinating and thinking they’re really there.

Wei Wuxian is very drained by the events of the Second Siege and faints twice afterwards. However, it’s worth noting that during the Second Siege, he didn’t really use resentful energy (he couldn’t, as all the corpses there were under the control of the Yinhufu); he used talismans, which only require a small amount of spiritual energy.

Wei Wuxian even specifically states that Mo Xuanyu’s body is very weak, refusing to use Suibian before the Second Siege:

He wore it by his waist and didn’t seem like he was going to use it. Seeing how Lan WangJi looked at him, he fiddled with his hair and explained, “I haven’t used a sword in so many years. I’m not used to it.” As he spoke, he sighed again, “Alright. The real reason is that my current body is low in spiritual energy. Even if there’s a high level sword, it won’t be able to make the best use of it. And so, it’ll be up to HanGuang-Jun to protect the delicate man that I am.”

(Chapter 68, Exiled Rebels translation)

Wei Wuxian collapses due to exhaustion on the boat ride to Lotus Pier:

OuYang ZiZhen, “HanGuang-Jun, why did Senior Wei collapse?”

Lan WangJi, “Fatigue.”

Lan JingYi was amazed, “I thought that Senior Wei would never get tired!”

(Chapter 84, Exiled Rebels translation)

He collapses again during the fight at the Jiang ancestral hall:

Lan WangJi, “Wei Ying?!” His low voice rang within Wei WuXian’s ears, echoing endlessly.

Wei WuXian was starting doubt if something happened to his ears, “What’s wrong?”

He felt something streak down his face, but reached up only to retrieve a handful of scarlet. Accompanied by throbs of dizziness, blood continued to drip down his nose and his mouth, onto the ground.

[...]

Having come to the conclusion that Wei WuXian was only in a temporary state of unconsciousness due to extreme fatigue and anger, Lan WangJi finally tore his gaze away.

(Chapter 88, Exiled Rebels translation)

When he wakes up in Chapter 90, he feels unwell but recovers fairly quickly:

For a long while, he couldn’t figure out what was happening. Only when he saw the splatters of blood on Lan WangJi’s left sleeve, like a string of plum blossoms resting on snow, did he finally recall what happened before he passed out from anger. His expression twisted at once as he suddenly sat upright. Lan WangJi went to help him, but the ringing in Wei WuXian’s ears hadn’t stopped yet.

[...]

Lan WangJi knew that he wasn’t feeling well. Silent, he didn’t ask anything. He lay one hand on his back, sending him a warm thread of spiritual energy.

[...]

Looking around, Wei WuXian suddenly exclaimed, “I’m hungry.”

Lan WangJi looked up. Of course, Wei WuXian wasn’t hungry at all. He had just eaten three pies at the vendor in front of Lotus Pier’s gates. Lan WangJi only ate one, however, and it was the only thing he’d eaten in the past two days. The matter was on Wei WuXian’s mind.

(Chapter 90, Exiled Rebels translation)

The narrative again directly links it to exhaustion, not to anything more ominous than that:

In the fight at Burial Mound, Wei WuXian exerted too much energy and stamina. Both his mind and his body were strained for too long. A few hours earlier, Jiang Cheng angered him so much that he almost bled from his qiqiao.

He only recovered after a long time of rest. Although he didn’t feel too bad right now, if there was something he missed and he pushed himself all the way to Lanling, it was hard to tell whether or not an accident would happen at a critical moment. On top of that, he wasn’t the only one straining his mind and body in the past few days. Lan WangJi didn’t rest for a second either.

(Chapter 91, Exiled Rebels translation)

As said, there simply isn’t any proof, based on Wei Wuxian’s second life, that his cultivation is doing him harm, nor does he ever lose control of it.

This definitely indicates to me that Wei Wuxian’s losses of control in his first life were related to the circumstances and not an inevitable risk of his cultivation path.

In Conclusion

I actually suspect that Lan Wangji himself came to the same conclusion; he only ever gently warns Wei Wuxian to be careful when using dark techniques during his second life:

Lan WangJi let the paperman wriggle on his ribbon for some time. Just as he reached out to take it down, the paperman slid its way down as fast as it could. No matter intentionally or not, it bumped its head once against his lips.

Lan WangJi’s movements paused for a moment. Using two of his fingers, he finally caught it, “Do not fool around.”

Softly, the paperman rolled its body over his slender finger.

Lan WangJi, “You must be careful.”

The paperman nodded and flapped its wings. Clinging flat onto the ground, it climbed through the door slit and snuck out of the guest room.

(Chapter 47, Exiled Rebels translation)

He still does have some level of distaste for Wei Wuxian’s cultivation path, I would argue, due to the way he instantly latches onto the idea that Wei Wuxian would never have turned to the ghost path if not for his lost golden core:

“…” Lan WangJi managed, “I only knew that his spiritual powers were somehow impaired.”

But to think this was the truth.

Wen Ning, “If not because of this…”

If not because there really wasn’t a second path to walk on.

(Chapter 89, Exiled Rebels translation)

But the discussion of Wei Wuxian’s feelings on his cultivation is one for another day.

At any rate, I doubt that Lan Wangji is only holding back his feelings on the ghost path due to wanting to avoid any more fights with Wei Wuxian. After all, he spent 13 years mourning him. If he still believed that Wei Wuxian’s cultivation was going to eventually kill him, I doubt he would accept it so much more readily now.

I think the lesson he learnt, after looking back and thinking on the past a great deal, was indeed that Wei Wuxian would not have suffered such losses of control if he had had anyone to rely on in his past life. So now Lan Wangji always stands by his side and ensures that he will never reach such a state of desperation again.

[aleki-lives-here]

I want to do an unstructured infodump about it, and there's nothing that can stop me. So, behold, the very objectively bestest book in the world,

"Dancing with Aute"

I don't even know how to describe it. It's got ✨𝔳𝔦𝔟𝔢𝔰✨, okay. A badass alien (with long expressive ears! Wings! Weird anatomy! Even weirder magic!) on a quest to stop a war, which she plans to do by learning about humans her species is planning to genocide in revenge for the genocide they had done on her species first, and then somehow making them form an alliance before everyone starts killing everyone.

How does she accomplish it? By getting married, of course!

The love interest is introduced in the very beginning as the officially worst person in the world. He let the genocide happen! Terrible, terrible person! But oh, he's actually kinda pretty, and a healer, and somewhat respectful, and is willing to help, and has she mentioned yet that he's the most handsome man alive? His skin is all sparkling "like millions of rainbows dancing around him" and he's also really badass and the best in rare kinds of magic. He also has a ✨𝔳𝔦𝔟𝔢✨. A pretty man with zero emotions on the outside and all the hopeless love inside. And, also, enemies to lovers. The guilty pleasure I get from shitty romance? That started right there.

The book is filled to the brim with philosophy that sounds indefinitely profound when you're fourteen. The characters talk, a lot, and then talk more and more and more. The MC is an outsider, pointing out how weird humans are. How weird the way humans think and divide the world into categories is. How beautifully bizarre the way they structure society and relationships and everything is.

I don't think it's that well done, truly. The aim was, I read in an interview, to create a character who was as far from a human as possible. There's a lot of talking about it, while she acts and thinks completely human. The strangeness of the alien species is just for the show, but what a show it is! I adore the vibes. I adore the whole "outsider being constantly confused by what humanity thinks is rational". My undiagnosed neurodivergent ass could not avoid falling in love with this kind of vibe.

(Also, it's called "Dancing with Aute". It's an obvious coincidence but I can't stop laughing about it for a few years now. I was doomed. It was a trap set up specifically for me.)

Ah, also! You see how I've been calling them "aliens"? Weird word for what obviously is a fantasy, right? I mean, the mc's got wings! Long ears! A sword! Magic!

Yep, well, you see: it's actually set in our world a few millions of years from now (the Earth and our modern culture is part of the world, and it's important because the author put lyrics of songs and poetry and quotes from philosophy books in the text, and that was how I discovered a few of my favorite bands I still listen to; as one does), space travel definitely exists, but also travel across the multiverse, and the long eared weird species are actually humans who spent those millions of years evolving in some weird place.

How weird? Think: moons and stars randomly flying around in between forests and rivers in an endless empty space with winds somehow breaking all the laws of physics so that the author could write about how a straight line isn't the shortest way between two places. The species of evolved humans -- I should probably give their name, they're El-in, they are not elves -- lives in giant flying trees in space.

There are also dark El-in. Who live "below" the normal El-in, in Aute. Which is a place. And also their goddess. And also the philosophical concept of the Unknown. There are special El-in whose whole job is to dance with the unknown (Aute. That's the title right here!) to learn it. They do it by changing themselves, morphing into what they try to understand, until they are this thing. Losing themselves is always a danger in the process. They can change everything about themselves, you see -- the form, the memories, the reactions, the beliefs, the emotions, it's their entire thing!

(My high-masking undiagnosed teen self had no chance. It was the first book in my life that felt like it Got me.)

The whole story is about MC and her whole society dealing with Trauma™ and trying to move on from it. Fun! The author is a literal psychologist who wrote it when getting her degree, she was really into the stuff she studied and it shows. It feels like a story someone had the time of their life writing. Also, the first story. Gods I love the first stories people write! They are often so, so raw and honest and personal. It's beautiful.

I am looking through the book right now and I feel like screaming and kicking my legs. I love this story, with all the talking and slow action and romance that makes me want to roll my eyes and all the dozens of titles and names and words that I remember struggling with the first time around because half the book made no sense before I started it for the second time and finally pieced together the worldbuilding that was given in too many words that maybe made it look more complicated than it really is. I love it. so much. I don't think I'd enjoy it half as much now as I did in my teens, but I refuse to ever call it anything but my favorite book, because it was an Experience that I remember way too well to ever stop loving.

I don't even know where I was going with this! I just wanted to talk about it, and the fact that nobody knows about this book is a Terrible Crime against me personally! What can you all say for yourself! Can't you just learn a whole other language to read a mediocre fantasy/sci-fi thingy with nothing but ✨𝔳𝔦𝔟𝔢𝔰✨!

honestly, sometimes I feel like I would gladly translate this whole thing if I knew somebody would like it and enjoy it as much as I did

I won't, actually. I just wanted to scream about it a bit and put it away for another year. And it's definitely going to happen another year

Do you know that feeling when you remember your forever favorite book (my love to it doesn't say a thing about its quality, btw) and just want to talk about it with someone, but there are literally just a dozen people who read it in the last year (according to every site it still can be found on), and no fandom whatsoever (I don't think it ever existed), and it wasn't even translated into English!

I want to inflict my pure love of this story on someone, but there's literally nobody who knows about it! It's so unfair!

[wutheringmights]

Can I be greedy and ask for all of the boys ? And any characters you have strong opinions on? Pretty please? With lots of cherries and chocolate on top? ( for the ask meme ofc)

Anon, I'll finish up all of the boys in the Chain just for you. And trust me, I have an Infinite Amount of Strong Opinions. You have no idea how Opinionated I Am.

If anyone is coming in late to this, here are the boys I have done already and a short summary of my thoughts (click the hyperlinks to get the full Opinion):

Warriors: he's best when he's the trashy anti-Link, and I like him so much

Twilight: kind of boring, but I have a soft spot for him anyway because you never forget your first

Wind: should have been aged up a little so that he can have that identity crisis I'm craving

This... gets long. Really long. 3-hours-of-work-long. Before you read, please note that even when I speak negatively about something, it’s not to diss anyone who does like the thing. I’m not vague posting or being passive aggressive. This is all written in good humor and good faith. 

That being said, let’s a-go!

-Sky-

What I love about them: He has one of the best character arcs of all the Links. I love that he starts off being lazy and kind of a jerk, but grows as a person because he wants to save his friend. And I love that he's truly the most courageous Link. He has no other successful hero of past or legacy to lean back upon to reassure him. He walked into that fight with Demise with no assurance from anyone that he would succeed. Yet, he does it anyway. Because he's a true hero and someone had to be one. And he's rewarded with a curse that he does not initially take seriously. He thinks he's saved everyone, yet he's cursed his spirit, possibly his bloodline, and his entire legacy of the kingdom of Hyrule into a doomed cycle of destruction. All because he dared to face evil incarnate. I love him.

What I hate about them: You know how I called Twilight boring? I should have saved that critique for Sky. LU Sky is actually the most boring interpretation of his character. All of his negative traits? Gone. All of his positives? Also gone. He's the blandest version of himself, and like Twilight, I now feel like I gotta add some spice to him to make him more interesting while still keeping him recognizable. Even so, he's still one of my favorite Links.

Favorite Moment/Quote: When he kicks Twilight's ass at sword fighting. That's stuff is *chef's kiss*

What I would like to see more focus on: You would think that there would be more angst out there about him realizing that he's actually been cursed, but it's still kind of hard to find. He's the Cursed Knight! The beginning of a terrible legacy! Imagine meeting a bunch of heroes for the first time, and instead of being relieved at having someone who understands your experiences, you're filled with horror at realizing that your victory was a false one. You didn't win. Your spirit will never be at rest. Imagine dealing with that realization for the rest of your life. You could never be at peace.

What I would like to see less focus on: I love that he loves his wife, but he's more just the fact that he's married, y'know? I would like to see a little less blind devotion to Hylia and Zelda, and more complicated feelings about being manipulated into being the hero.

Favorite pairing with: Sun/Link/Groose OT3! I have no reasoning behind this other than I like Groose and Groose definitely had a crush on SkSw Link.

Favorite friendship: I won't answer Groose again even if I want to, so I'll say Warriors. I cannot begin to describe how elite this friendship would be if you gave it a chance. They're just two boys dealing with unique positions of leadership and responsibility. They would probably even bond over being shitheads at different ends of the shithead spectrum. It's so good, okay?

NOTP: Ghirahim. I'm not too adverse to this one, but the ship hinges on whether you can redeem Ghirahim or not. In my opinion, Ghirahim is awesome because he's such a fun villain. Redeeming him ruins the fun.

Favorite headcanon: I have a whole life story planned out for Sky. Basically, he lives to be close to 500 years old by the power of the Triforce. He is the Link throughout the Era of Chaos who banishes the Dark Interlopers to the Twilight Realm and seals the Triforce in the Sacred Realm. He actually seals himself in the Sacred Realm as well to keep the Triforce safe, and he fought Ganondorf in when he broke in. Sky, like Time and Wind, does not get a happy ending.

-Four-

What I love about them: Four is origin of the heroes of Hyrule being known for being children. What a legacy to leave behind. He's such an interesting case of an incarnation of the Hero's Spirit, too. He fought Vaati, and he did his job so well that Demise's next incarnation had to be Ganondorf. Four did his job the best out of everyone, and it came at the cost of creating a magic sword that changed him permanently. I like to think that the Four Sword was not meant to split him, that it was a mistake he made with the design. And it's sad, isn't it? You made a defective sword, and like any good sword, it has a symbolic double edge. It gifted you with so much, and yet he can never be the same again. And his story is never well-remembered because it is overshadowed by the Links who fought the King of Evil. He's does so much, yet his legacy is underappreciated.

What I hate about them: I want to prepare you for this Opinion, because I know it's unpopular. Are you ready? Okay. I don't like the Colors. I'm sorry. I want to like them, but they don't interest me at all. Because they are parts of Four’s personality, they have to be one-note archetypes which does not make for exciting storytelling. I also haven't found a fic yet that has been from Four's POV that did the internal monologue of the Colors in a way that wasn't a pain in the ass to read. Maybe if someone can figure out how to do the Colors in a way that doesn't feel like a drag, I would like them more. But in the end, I think Four himself is more interesting than the Colors.

Favorite Moment/Quote: The fact that he didn't want to touch the Master Sword because he doesn't trust magic swords. That is every I need to know about his opinion on his own adventures.

What I would like to see more focus on: I want more of Four as Four. It's getting harder to find content of Four being his own person first and the Colors second.

What I would like to see less focus on: Four being the Colors first and his own person second. There is something about viewing Four as this cover identity for the Colors that doesn't feel right. There's a balance that needs to be strike between his ability to split, how that affects his every day life, and his own identity of being Four. I think I may have read one fic that hit that sweet spot for me, but still.

Favorite pairing with: Shadow. I'm such a sucker for befriending and falling for the enemy. That is all.

Favorite friendship: Dot! Their friendship is super cute. I like the idea of them being super close when they were younger and struggling to keep the friendship going as they age due to how much their paths in life diverge.

NOTP: This isn't necessarily a Four or an LU problem, but people who ship the Colors together? Bro. C'mon.

Favorite headcanon: I'm torn between two different Four and the Master Sword headcanons. On one hand, Four thinking that the Master Sword is just legend until he meets Sky and everyone else is just a fun idea. He sees the legendary sword for the first time and his mind is blown. On the other hand, I also like my Four with a side of hubris. What if he had the option on his quest to draw the Master Sword himself? What if he could tell that if he did that, the consequences would be terrible. He's not sure what would happen, but he knows it would be terrible. So he decided to make his own sword instead to disastrous results. Wouldn't that be tragic or what?

-Time-

What I love about them: Last winter, I did a two hour powerpoint for my friends about the Legend of Zelda timeline. During that powerpoint, I was rating every iteration of Link. What I said about the Hero of Time then holds true to my thoughts of LU Time now. Time is the original Link, more so than Sky in the lore and Legend/Hyrule in real life. Every other hero is a reflection of him. So the fact that his story is about the loss of childhood and the tragedy of that is incredible, and you can see those themes reflected in every other game. Moreso, he’s the only Link with a confirmed tragic ending. Not only does he end his life unsatisfied, but his adventure is failure on every timeline. In the adult timeline, Hyrule is swallowed by the sea. In the child one, Ganondorf returns again. In the fallen timeline, Hyrule fell. I like the idea since that the games themselves are the legends that are past down about each hero, Hylians have also remembered Time as a tragic figure. Yet, they also remember that the happy moments for his life come from small acts of kindness. Even someone as sad as him finds joy in helping others, even if it’s just to small deeds that will not be heralded as grand heroic quests. It’s beautiful.

What I hate about them: This is more about Mask than Time, but Mask is not an adult in a child’s body. He did not rewind time in Termina enough to be considered mentally an adult. He’s a young teenager at best, and that’s me being generous. He is a child who was forced to be an adult and despite the gods being done with him, he cannot conceive of ever having a childhood again. So he can say all he wants that he’s an adult, but he is not. That’s just what he thinks he is.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Anytime we get a flashback to him being a younger adult is great. I want to see more of his in this his early adulthood.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think I just want more of Time being... not a bad leader, but being an imperfect one. I honestly think he’s only the leader because he’s the oldest and enough of the heroes recognize the title of Hero of Time. But he is not the leader type, and he is struggling to keep it together and has to defer to Twilight and Warriors for help a lot. 

What I would like to see less focus on: I’m not the biggest fan of Dad!Time for any of the Links. He’s not emotionally ready for it. And I think he defaults to treating the boys like adults because that’s how he wanted to be treated when he was their age. 

Favorite pairing with: Malon. He has this great partnership of equal respect with her and it’s just. So good.

Favorite friendship: Linebeck. I know. This exists only in my head. But if these two ever meet, you cannot convince me that they would not get along swimmingly. It would be so good (once Linebeck gets over his crush on Time and stops hitting on him, of course).

NOTP: Child Timeline Zelda. Let me explain: I fully believe in Bi Time supremacy, and when in OoT, he definitely had a crush on Sheik. However, one of the worst parts of rewinding time and being in the child timeline is that Zelda is a completely different person now. They may have been friends in the other timeline, but her life experiences are completely different now. She is not the same person as he once knew. And it’s tragic to know someone as who they could have been, not as they are.

Favorite headcanon: After Termina, Time spent a lot of time with the Nabooru because out of everyone he knew, she’s the only who took him seriously even as a child. She has big older sister energy, and he considers her a part of his family. However, being treated as such made it easier for him to ignore his issues and put off his healing process by a few years.

-Legend-

What I love about them: Veteran of Heroes! What a freaking title. I love that he keeps on finding adventures, and that he keeps hustling. Even if he complains about never getting a break, you can tell that he loves helping others. He loves being on the road, never settling down, and finding adventure after adventure. Honestly, if any of the Links had a calling to be a hero, it’s him. Is he tired? Sure. Is he a little jaded after having saved Hyrule and a bunch of other kingdoms multiple times? Yes. But at the end of the day, he likes being a hero. This is who he is. His complaining is not genuine; he just plays the martyr because, at this point, he’s earned the right to.

What I hate about them: If you can’t tell by now, I have a, uh, different interpretation of Legend from popular canon. Fandom Legend is not right to me. He is unrecognizable. It is hard to write him because I feel like I have to balance what other people think Legend should be versus how I think he is. The people who are big Legend enjoyers probably feel the same way about my version of Warriors, and that’s fine. I’m not going to gel with every character and I don’t expect everyone to gel with how I see characters either. It’s goes both ways, y’know.

Favorite Moment/Quote: I like how subtly he tried to approach the Wolfie problem at first, trying to ask questions and get more proof before confronting Twilight. It’s a good touch.

What I would like to see more focus on: If I had to choose one thing, it’s this one throw away line about him never wanting to settle down. I’m telling you, folks! He likes his lifestyle! And did you see him when he does presenting the origins of the hero? He’s not bitter about being a hero! Legend is moody, but he is not angsty about the whole hero thing. Have fun with him please!

What I would like to see less focus on: If you can’t tell by now, Legend is my least favorite Link. There is a lot I want to see less of, but just to name one thing, it’s the headcanon that Fable is his sister. I live and die by common born Link, and whether he’s a legitimate heir or the royal bastard, I am more than bored with the persistent Prince!Legend content.

Favorite pairing with: Marin. It’s a good tragic story and I like it well enough. She’s cute, and he’s cute with her.

Favorite friendship: Warriors. I’m with everyone else on these two have peak sibling energy. They tease and pick on each other, but only they are allowed to mess with each other. They’re each other’s bully, and it’s always good to see.

NOTP: I do not have enough energy to have a lot of strong opinions about Legend’s romantic relationships, but I will mentioned that I have lost a lot of love for Ravio recently and am liking seeing him with Legend less and less. I have no better reason for this than the fact that I finally played ALBW and hate how many of my hard earned rupees he’s taken from me by withholding important, lifesaving items. Rat bastard.

Favorite headcanon: Remember my headcanon about him being the coolest bad boy folk hero on the block because everyone thinks he kidnapped Zelda? Yeah, I still stand by that one. I did good there.

-Hyrule-

What I love about them: If there is any Link that I would call a gutter rat, it is this one. I struggle a bit to talk about Hyrule since his games gives us so little, but in the end, I always fall back on him being a hero of the people. He is the one who has nothing and relates the best to people who are at their lowest. Yet, he is still a hero. He earns the right to be a hero because he helped Impa in her time of need. He’s selfless and competent. Even if he never got a traditional education, I bet he’s wicked smart too. He is the Link that symbolizes all of the parts of the Triforce the most. And, god. I cannot talk about him without mentioning the blood sacrifice part of LA. It’s such a cool concept, and I cannot imagine what it must be like to go from being the rough and tumble, win-at-all-costs fighting to protecting yourself first because if you don’t, the consequences are disastrous. It’s paradoxical, and it must be such a different mindset to fall into. But it must also be a blessing in disguise since now he has a reason to finally care about himself.

What I hate about them: Who started the Hyrule is innocent headcanon? Come over here because we need to exchange some words. If there is anyone who would be a realist and know how the world works, it’s this guy. And while we’re here, who came up with the Hryule is always lost headcanon? I also have some words for you. And you know what? WHILE WE’RE HERE, who let him be named Hyrule? I’m have more than choice words for you. His name scheme is the bane of my existence and the express reason why I don’t write him more. God.

Favorite Moment/Quote: That one panel where he takes utter delight in Warriors hiding from his scorned lovers? That is a central pillar in my understanding of Hyrule.

What I would like to see more focus on: Again, his relationship with other people. Even if his games are lacking in NPCs, we know from lore that he’s a good guy who will jump in to help others. He must know plenty of people, and I want to see who exists in his world with him. 

What I would like to see less focus on: I have an on-going joke with my brother that certain characters are Catholic, even if Catholicism does not exist in the world of the thing we’re watching or playing. Of course, we’re not being serious. we’re just joshing around. So imagine the gut punch I feel whenever I see people say Hyrule is Christian and realize that they’re being serious. I just can’t take it seriously.

Favorite pairing with: Aurora. It’s cute and I’m a sucker for that hero and royalty dynamic, especially when the hero is a peasant. It’s so cheesy, but I love it.

Favorite friendship: Legend. But not the way everyone else pairs them up as the grumpy one and the sunshine one. I think of it more as them being the pinnacle of boys being boys. They’re shitheads. They do stupid shit together. They both have a dark sense of humor. They joke that they’re practically the same person sometimes.

NOTP: uhhhhhhhhh.... Is he paired with anyone else?

Favorite headcanon: I love the idea that he just likes his way of life and refuses to accept anyone saying otherwise. Legend wants to teach him to read? Sorry, but he’s never had to read before in his life so he’s pretty sure he’ll never need it anyway. Want to participate in the treasured Hylian tradition of piercing your ears when you come of age? Why would he ever do that when a monster could rip those earrings off? He’s stuck in his ways and it frustrates everyone else to no end, but he has no interest in ever changing.

-Wild-

What I love about them: When I was 9, I spent my time online on Legend of Zelda forums. I remember one of my forum friends saying that they wanted a Legend of Zelda game where Link lost. And I think of that friend whenever I think about Wild. BOTW Link is the best Link that has ever been. He is the epitome of every trait we associate with any Link. He’s smart and sassy. He’s hard working and kind. But underlining all of that is the fact that he’s still the one who failed. If Demise’s Curse in SkSw is the set-up, the Great Calamity is the payoff. And I haven’t even talked about how confirming him as being non-verbal before the Calamity does so much for his characterization. I don’t even know where to start or how to articulate it. By game storyline alone, Wild is one of my favorites.

What I hate about them: You guys knew this one was coming, but I’m going to have to say it anyway. Fandom Wild.... not good. I’ve said it for half of these boys so far, but god is it true. I have a way I see Wild that is rarely done in the fandom. Fandom Wild has a lot of the traits I also see in Wild, but to all of the extremes. I will mention one thing in particular as being a pet peeve, and it’s how some people headcanon him as always being nonverbal. I know what they’re trying to do, and I think they’re on to something, but they’re also missing the point of what BOTW Link’s character arc is. I just wish more people would forget fandom and work more off of the games for how to characterize him.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Weirdly enough, my favorite moment is when he got mad at everyone for making fun of his Gerudo outfit, so he dumped Goron Spice in his cooking. It’s encapsulates a part of his character I think a lot of people forget about.

What I would like to see more focus on: I think he has a really complicated relationship with his past. He said himself that his old self felt like a different person, and I think that should be explored a lot more. That idea actually fascinates me so much that instead of CTB, I almost wrote a character study fic about Wild. His emotions are not as simple as feeling guilty about letting his friends die and not preventing the Calamity. His emotions would be so complicated and because I don’t have the time to explore it, someone else needs to do it for me.

What I would like to see less focus on: There is a weird fascination with Wild having memory loss and essentially being like a kid again. And this feels infantilizing to me. It honestly bugs me a lot every time I see it.

Favorite pairing with: I can’t decide between Zelda, Mipha, and Revali. They’re all different dynamics and they’re all good.

Favorite friendship: Paya. I firmly believe that Paya is Wild’s best friend. I am the only one in the world who believes this. But I am also the only one in the world who is correct. 

NOTP: Wild is good with everyone. Good for him!

Favorite headcanon: An essential scene of my Wild character study I will never write is one where his horse dies. He goes into shock and walks back to Kakariko to talk to Impa. But once he goes to her, he breaks down in tears and has an absolute melt down over the horse. And Impa sagely says, “It’s not about the horse, is it?” She’s implying that he’s actually mourning the loss of his friends, Hyrule, his life, everything-- but through his tears, he keeps tell her that she’s wrong. He barely remembers them. He doesn’t know them. He doesn’t have any feelings about them. He just really loved that horse. But Impa refuses to listen to him, just repeating over and over again: “it’s not really about the horse.”

And that’s it! That’s all of my opinions! I know a lot of my opinions are polarizing, but everything I said is in good faith, and I am not trying to diss anyone for how they approach these characters.

I welcome you to send me your Opinions on the Links, even if it’s just to disagree with me. I’m cool with it, and I like knowing what everyone else thinks!

[ursaminortarot]

Pick-a-card Reading

I did another pick-a-card reading, this time focusing on love and romance. Also, if this is relevant to you or resonated with you at all, can you leave a comment with your astrological sign and which pile you picked? If you know your moon, rising, and venus, could you leave those as well? I have a theory I want to test.

The piles you can pick from are:

Pile 1: Hyena

Pile 2: Swan

Pile 3: Frog

Pile 4: Lion

Pile 5: Fire Ant

Pile 6: Black Egg

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 1: Hyena

Wheel of Fortune, 5 of Wands, 3 of Swords reversed, Soulmates reversed, Wisdom Ace of Swords, 8 of Pentacles reversed, Father of Swords reversed, Co-create, Vision 10 of swords, 10 of Wands reversed, The Moon reversed, Go the Distance, Bond Knight of Wands reversed, 9 of Swords, The Sun reversed, Regenerate, Message Knight of Cups, 8 of Wands reversed, 6 of Swords reversed, Yin reversed, Achievement Bonus Cards: 3 of Pentacles reversed, 3 of Wands reversed, Death, 5 of Cups reversed, 6 of Swords

You haven’t had the best of luck with your past relationships. You’ve dealt with heartbreak and disappointment and that’s made you skeptical of love; and if you ever believed in soulmates, you don’t anymore. The positive to all this pain is that you’ve learned a lot about yourself and how to assert your boundaries. You’re the type of person to throw yourself into work as a distraction. Keeping yourself busy to avoid processing your emotions is something that can only work for so long. You need to focus less on work, it’s preventing you from doing the work you need to do in order to move on. You may even begin having dreams about your most recent relationship until this is done. Ending negative cycles can be a difficult and daunting task, but in this case it’s necessary. Otherwise you won’t find your peace. You are healing, it may not be progressing at the speed you want, but these things take time. You were meant to find this message: “there’s light at the end of the tunnel”. Healing isn’t linear, so don’t feel defeated after a hard day, week, month, or even a hard year. At this moment, you should focus on finding harmony within yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 2: Swan

The Chariot, The Tower, Ace of Wands reversed, A leg Up, Poised, Death, Reflect 3 of Cups, Temperance reversed, The Chariot reversed, Co-create, Regeneration, Deceit 5 of Pentacles reversed, Page of Wands, Temperance reversed, Time to go, Protect Page of Wands, Two of Swords reversed, 9 of Pentacles, Why? reversed, Tick-tock reversed, Luck 4 of Cups reversed, Queen of Wands, 6 of Wands reversed, Breath, Come to the Edge, Terra, Vision

I get the feeling that you don’t have a type, or if you do it’s always changing. Sometimes you can be a little rash with love and this can get you in trouble. You’re the kind of person who will turn someone’s world upside down - and then you ghost them. You haven't always been this way. At one point you were in a serious relationship, and for some of you, possibly engaged or planning a family. This relationship didn’t end well, it was a very messy break up. I get the impression that you were likely cheated on. You end relationships so quickly, and sometimes harshly, because you would rather hurt the other person than risk being hurt again. You haven’t felt safe with a partner in a long time, but the problem here is that you don’t stick around long enough to develop the level of trust that you want to have within a relationship. What you need to do right now is spend time alone, dig deep, and really think about what it is that you want. Do you even want a relationship right now, or are you just looking to have fun? You’re not very grounded at the moment, this is a contributing factor to your restlessness. If you can, take some time to enjoy nature and find your center. If you’re the kind of person who likes to party, you’re being asked to slow down and pace yourself.

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Pile 3: Frog

[Before getting into the reading, I’m getting a distinct feeling from this pile. Either, you’ve never been in a relationship or you don’t have a lot of experience with them.]

The Moon reversed, Knight of Pentacles, The Hanged Man reversed, Building Blocks reversed, Balance The Empress, Queen of Swords reversed, Ace of Cups reversed, To Be Fair, Achievement 5 of Cups reversed, King of Wands reversed, 10 of Wands reversed, Milk and Honey, Simplicity 3 of Cups, 4 of Pentacles, The Tower reversed, Higher Power, Sol 2 of Cups, 6 of Pentacles, Daughter of Cups reversed, Never-ending story, Transformation Bonus Cards: 8 of Wands reversed, 7 of Wands reversed, Clean it up reversed

You’re very cautious or picky when it comes to relationships. There are a lot of fears present here, but we’ll handle them one at a time. There’s a fear of not finding stability or being trapped. You want everything to be fair and equal in a relationship, but this can make it difficult to ask for what you want or need. You don’t want to be too much, but you also don’t want to be giving more than you’re receiving. You hold yourself and other people to high standards, some might say that they’re impossible to meet. You know exactly what you want in a partner, and that makes you afraid of disappointment.  It’s not that you need to lower your standards, but you need to realize that it’ll be difficult to find someone who meets all of your expectations. If you don’t want to wait until that person crosses your path, or if you don’t even believe that they’re real, then you’re going to need to discern what standards are a necessity and which one’s are preferences that you can go without. People like being around you, because you have the ability to put them at ease. You built up this skill and put a lot of work into it. You have this need to make sure others feel safe when they're with you. You don’t want others to feel like they can’t be themselves around you, because you know how awful that can feel. You can connect with people on a deep level very easily. This is what’s frustrating for you, because if you can bond with people so easily then why haven’t you found your person? You are an extremely lonely person, but you need to accept that things will progress at their own pace and you need to get comfortable being alone.

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Pile 4: Lion

Queen of Swords, Queen of Pentacles reversed, 2 of Pentacles reversed, Soulmates reversed, Deceit The Fool, The Page of Cups, The Fool reversed, Poised, Breath, Sleep 10 of Cups, Six of Wands reversed, The Magician reversed, Here and Now, Cycle 3 of Pentacles, High Priestess, The Chariot reversed, Not for you, Exchanging Gifts, Bond The Hermit, Justice, Daughter of Wands reversed, Go the Distance, Wisdom Bonus Cards: Ace of Swords, Ace of Swords reversed

You’re a very strong and intelligent person, but you can be cold and calculating. You’re at odds with yourself because you want to be softer. You are a hopeless romantic at heart, but you can’t bring yourself to express it. You restrain that softer, more romantic side of yourself to save face. You don’t want to look stupid, but you also want to do all the sappy, silly lovey-dovey shit. You have a very creative side to you and you could use that as a way to explore your softer side. You don’t have to share your art with anyone, but it could help shift the way people perceive you. It could make it easier to express to people that there’s more to you than the cold front you’ve been putting up. Finding balance is key. You are analytical & calculating, but you’re also romantic & nurturing, and you need to find a way to exist as both, or you’re never going to get anywhere.

You should focus less on the future. You’re so worried about having this perfect fairytale ending, that you’re just getting in your own way.

You see the world in a very unique way and you don’t think you’ll meet someone who understands how you process and think about the world around you. You have a lot of conflicting feelings right now, and that’s okay, it’s human. You can’t be perfect all of the time.

 Also, you need to chill, you’re taking this way too seriously. Love, romance, and relationships are supposed to be fun. Go meditate in a forest or something, run away to the mountains, just find a way to relax. I can’t fully describe with words the extent of the uptight/tightly-wound energy I’m getting from you. 

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Pile 5: Fire Ant

7 of Cups reversed, 3 of Wands, Daughter of Swords, Truth be Told reversed, Simplicity The Empress, 10 of Wands reversed, 5 of Pentacles reversed, Observer reversed, Go the Distance, Deceit 2 of Wands, Queen of Swords, The Hanged Man, 9 of Swords reversed, Soulmates reversed, Fork in the Road, Healing Queen of Cups, King of Wands reversed, Ace of Swords reversed, Building Blocks reversed, Exchanging Gifts reversed, Balance   3 of Pentacles reversed, Queen of Wands reversed, Death, 8 of Pentacles, Poised reversed, Sol

You’re juggling a lot emotionally and I feel like you cope with these feelings through art. You are highly perceptive and you have a piercing gaze that can see through everybody’s bullshit. You value truth above anything else in relationships. You see so much that it makes it difficult for you to feel. It’s not that you don’t have feelings, it’s that you break everything down to the smallest detail and your feelings stop being feelings and become observations and data. You’ve become overly analytical and it’s getting in the way of potential relationships. I feel like you are this way because you saw something in someone once and you ignored it, and then you really wish you hadn’t. You thought that you had a future with someone who thought of themself as kind of a sacrificial lamb, so to speak. This person could not take accountability, everything was someone else's fault, and most of the time, they blamed you. Even though most of it was self-inflicted because they didn’t know how to say no and just went along with everyone and everything. Your view on relationships and love has been changed by this experience. The good news is that you’re starting to heal, but you’ll likely never see love the same way and you won’t be able to trust people as readily as you once did. You still believe in love and romance, for other people, but not for yourself. You don’t believe that you’ll ever be able to share that much of yourself with another person again. You have this ‘once was enough’ energy to you. If you want romance in the future, which I’m assuming you do because you’re reading this, you need to work on rebuilding the parts of yourself that got damaged by that relationship. Put yourself and your healing first and maybe, one day, you’ll be able to open yourself up to the prospect of romance again. Nothing’s impossible. This lack of confidence you have in yourself is starting to impact your professional life. You need to find yourself again, and that’s not going to be easy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 6: Black Egg

[This reading is all over the place. I can’t tell if that’s because I was tired after doing the other 5 readings or if it’s because you, the person who picked pile 6, are someone who has energy that bounces from one thing to another very quickly.]

Wheel Of Fortune, Ace of Pentacles, 4 of Wands reversed, 6 of Pentacles, Treasure Island reversed, Sol King of Wands reversed, 6 of Swords, Justice, Mother of Swords reversed, Chop Wood, Achievement 5 of Pentacles, The Hierophant reversed, 6 of pentacles reversed, Father of swords reversed, All that Glitters, Bond 3 of Swords reversed, 10 of Wands, Son of Wands reversed, Daughter of Swords, A Leg Up, Arcana The World reversed, Death reversed, Ace of Wands reversed, 2 of Wands reversed, Blessed reversed, Air

You’ve had a rocky love life up until this point. All you want is stability because that’s something that has been lacking in your life, you need a balance between the domestic side of a relationship and having the freedom to be able to go off and do whatever you want. You don’t want to be pinned down, and yet, you want to pin someone else down. You need to allow potential partners the freedom you’re asking for.

You’ve gotten some bad relationship advice in the past. Someone told you that you need to be something you're not, or at least pretend to be something you’re not. The problem with this kind of thinking is that once your partner discovers that you haven’t been entirely truthful with them, they're not gonna want to stick around. Because, you know, people don’t like being lied to. 

You’ve had your heart broken in past relationships because you felt like you couldn’t turn to your partner for help. They were someone that asked a lot of you, but wouldn’t reciprocate. 

You’re an intelligent, and perceptive person, but you’re also incredibly passionate and a little head-strong. So, sometimes you don’t think before you act and that’s been a point of tension in past relationships. You want to rush everything, but there are no shortcuts in love. You need to slow down or find someone who can match your energy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that readings with 30ish cards take me about an hour to do, so why was I surprised that this took me 6 hours? 

I don’t know how much of my personality to let show throughout these kinds of readings. I don’t want them to be dry or too detached, but at the same time people probably just want to know what their piles have to say.

[The decks I used were the Modern Witch Tarot, the Wild Unknown tarot, the Earthbound Oracle, the Wisdom of the Oracle and the Wild Unknown Animal Spirit oracle.]

I feel like these were too specific to apply to a lot of people, but also not specific enough. So, if you want a more personalized reading check out my Etsy shop.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/UrsaMinorTarot

[koravelliumavast]

Well that’s a new one: Amazon Cosmere reviews Mistborn edition. (Snippets of two reviews)

Breeze, Dox, Ham, Clubs, most of Kelsier, and most of Marsh could be deleted from the book and you wouldn't be missing out on anything. You can skip most of the chapters of Kells and his "crew" bantering, and you won't miss a thing. That's the biggest problem with this book. Beyond that, the book actually has some above-average qualities that make the book a worthwhile read - IF you've already read all the better books in the same vein - (Wheel of time, {does op know that Brandon finished wot???}the first few Sword of Truth books, and I'd also recommend the Foundryside series) If you're going to read this book, I recommend you skip any text that features dialogue coming from Dox, Breeze, Ham, and Clubs. Oh, and also skip every passage where the characters are reading the Lord Ruler's journal, or where they're reading the history books. What an insulting waste of time. And none of it matters in the end. Oh, and skip all the first-person text at the beginning of every chapter because none of that crap has any bearing on the story either.

•••

Okay, Allomancy as an explanation for super-powers is new as a concept but so what? It turns the cast of very paper-cut out characters into the typical super heroes with one special magic trick or, rarely, into the super-super special hero with all the abilities roled into one stomach lining. The novel was also trying to be a slick super-crime such as Oceans 11's in its plot but obviously Sanderson doesn't have much insight into the sort of brilliance required for the supreme criminal mind nor much knowledge of the intelligence methods used by a totalitarian government. The meetings of the supposedly super-thieves were as dull as dishwater to read, a gloss-over of basic facts and illustrative of such shallow thinking that I was as bored as if it was a meeting with a low-level accountant. The conversations were as completely uninspired as the characters, their "plotting" so empty of sophistication or subtlety, and so full of holes, that I was unconvinced that these guys were really as slick as they were described; it certainly wasn't demonstrated.

Then the actual action had them doing things that even the most amateur of subversive criminals would never consider. One of my pet peeves, Sanderson either doesn't think about what the "opposing" forces might be doing in reaction or he succumbed to the "stupid enemy" contrivance. For example, the entire core of the elite team visit together the site of a hit by the dread Inquisitors, a place that was hit because they'd met there or because Vin, now a part of the team, had lived there; and they all show up to expose themselves in a world where, supposedly, everyone will rat out everyone else at the drop of a dime! But, not to fear, the totalitarian regime that made the hit has neglected to stake it out to watch who turned up to check out the mess afterward! And none of the crowd of spectators actually informs on them, either. It was juvenile mistake and I couldn't help but think that, trying to write this sort of plot, Sanderson was completely out of his depth. He should at least have read a few espionage and crime novels and gotten a clue before trying to write one himself. This team wouldn't have lasted five minutes in fiction, never mind real life...

•••

That said, I find it nice to read somebody acknowledge the fact that if you mistreat your comrades, they'll leave you. Granted, one of the 'heroes' said that. However, that was the only sensible "nugget of wisdom" aside from Slazed speaking about religion, or Ham trying to find a conversation. Speaking of Slazed, his name changes from time to time. {??? No it doesn’t}

On the other hand, there are several flaws. First off, for someone who's supposed to be insane, Keelsier sure does admit that a lot. Yeah, it should go without saying that unhinged people DON't do that. (That's coming from someone who's seen a stranger start squeezing her finger. So, his friend had to explain that the man thought her knew her.) Also, glares and flat stares don't even begin to look the same. That's unless you have some reason for being able to discern facial expressions.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Curse-breaker (Chapter 2/4)

- ao3 -

“If you can’t find him, that means it’s not meant to be,” the Nie sect leader said, and perhaps looked a little relieved somewhere beneath the grim scowl that had replaced the easygoing smile he had once had. “Let it be, then. Only…”

“Yes, Sect Leader?”

“I want our borders shut,” he said, his gaze distant, his hands tucked behind his back in stiffest formality. “Let no cultivator pass through; no scion or servant of any other sect, large or small.”

“Sect Leader…?”

“I don’t care what it does to our reputation,” he said, voice flat. “I don’t care if it hurts our commerce, makes everyone laugh at us as cowards – I don’t care about anything like that. That he’s well enough to evade us does not mean he is out of danger. If anyone else should find out…”

He shook his head.

“I have failed him enough already. I will not do so again.” He turned his head to stare at his subordinates. “Shut it down. All of it!”

They saluted, and went to enact his will.

-

Lan Wangji hadn’t been especially impressed with the Nie sect at first.

They were loud and constantly moving yet also guarded and standoffish, as if they couldn’t decide if they wanted people to pay attention to them or to leave them alone. He initially had thought it was arrogance the same way as the Jin sect, wanting to be looked at without wanting to admit it, but after some observation he’d realized that it really wasn’t like that at all. It was a little more, he thought, that they were naturally outgoing and extroverted, innately social in nature, and had to keep reminding themselves that they actually didn’t like any other people.

Certainly that was the impression the Nie sect heir gave off.

Nie Huaisang was Lan Wangji’s age, but he was much less accomplished – he talked a lot, smiled a lot, was a lot, and yet Lan Wangji didn’t think he’d ever actually said a single thing that really mattered. Lan Wangji hadn’t thought much about Nie Huaisang at all other than gritting his teeth and acting as his escort on the Nie sect’s first visit to another sect in years and years, thinking that if Nie Huaisang was any example, the Nie sect’s fearsome reputation for being as straight and unsubtle as their sabers was all a bunch of nonsense. Maybe he would have gone on thinking that, too, except that on the fourth day of their visit he discovered that Nie Huaisang listened as well as talked.

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang said at one point, smiling. “Could you repeat that?”

Lan Wangji hadn’t really been paying attention, and he certainly hadn’t been speaking – he looked at Nie Huaisang in askance, wondering if he’d accidentally said something he wasn’t aware of.

“Your father,” Nie Huaisang clarified, and Lan Wangji tensed. “How often is he in seclusion?”

Lan Wangji frowned, cautious – that was a secret, of course, one of the family secrets. Everything behind what happened with his parents was secret. “Quite often,” he temporized. “He’s trying to focus on his cultivation –”

“That wasn’t what I asked,” Nie Huaisang said, cheerfully cutting him off without making it seem like he was doing that. “My da-ge says that he heard from – from somewhere, anyway, that he wasn’t just in seclusion often but always. He says that your father hasn’t used his sword in years, leaving it to rust on the wall, betraying all his old principles of swordsmanship.”

Lan Wangji bristled, thinking that it was an insult, but Nie Huaisang was looking at him, face open and sincere and, for once, serious, and looking over his words Lan Wangji had to admit there was more truth to it than lies. And wasn’t his uncle always saying do not tell lies?

“It’s not his choice,” he said, trying to defend it even as he wondered who was the da-ge that Nie Huaisang was referring to, since he was supposed to be the only heir of Qinghe Nie. “He has to be there, because of –”

He stopped.

“Because of what?” Nie Huaisang asked. His eyes were too sharp, too knowing, and suddenly Lan Wangji was sure he already knew. “Because of the broken sword buried under his house?”

“…my mother’s,” Lan Wangji said, and knew that he had admitted too much.

Except maybe keeping secrets the way he was supposed to wasn’t actually what he was supposed to do, because Nie Huaisang nodded and said, “My da-ge wouldn’t like that.”

Then he went back to his father and said something about how his da-ge wouldn’t approve of what was going on and the next thing Lan Wangji knew, Sect Leader Nie was striding through the Cloud Recesses with a terrifying scowl, going straight up to the house where Lan Wangji’s father was in seclusion and tearing the door right off the hinges.

“She’s dead already,” he bellowed, voice echoing right down the bones. “You should save your care for the living, or else you’ll blink and next thing they’ll be gone. Gone right along with the dead you’ve already lost. Don’t you dare throw away your chance the way I did!”

After that, all of a sudden, Lan Wangji had a father again.

-

“There are rumors, you know,” Lan Xichen said.

He was having tea in the garden in the small teahouse just outside of the Nie sect lands in Qinghe, the place where the Nie sect usually received its visitors now that the Unclean Realm and most of its surrounding environs were shut off from the world by fiercely patrolling guards. He was with Nie Huaisang, who barely stopped talking, and Lan Wangji, who almost never started; ever since the day old Sect Leader Nie had forced Qingheng-jun out of seclusion and back into the world, they had been the most unlikely pair of best friends he could have ever imagined. Whenever they were together, they fit together like two improbable puzzle pieces that should never have been separated.

When he was with them, Lan Xichen always felt a little lost, a little alone – like there was someone else that should have been there, too, someone who fit with him just right the way they fit together.

Perhaps, he thought, reflecting on what he had heard, there really should have been.

“About what?” Nie Huaisang inquired politely.

“The Unclean Realm,” Lan Xichen said, even though that was obvious there’d be rumors about that – there’d been people trying to sneak into there ever since it had been locked down, even though the Nie sect had announced that they’d imposed orders permitting any trespassers to be killed on sight, no excuses allowed. It hadn’t made that much of a difference; everyone wanted to know what they were hiding. “The – inheritance thereof.”

“Oh?” Nie Huaisang fanned himself lightly. “How interesting. What do the rumors say?”

“That you have an older brother,” Lan Xichen said, and noted with interest that neither Nie Huaisang nor Lan Wangji seemed surprised. “That he’s the real heir of Qinghe Nie. And that he’s…”

“That he’s what?”

“Subject to a curse,” Lan Xichen said, feeling bashful for even saying such a thing. It sounded like a children’s story told in the nighttime, not like anything a cultivator ought to be speaking of.

Except Nie Huaisang smiled a little, his eyes curving into crescents in a grim sort of humor, and he said, “Well, they’re not wrong.”

-

“I trust that this is an illustration of the reason we have rules against spreading rumors,” Lan Qiren said mildly, and noted that Nie Huaisang looked thoroughly abashed for once.

It didn’t happen very often: Nie Huaisang was in many ways utterly shameless, as shameless as his father had always been. As shameless as his mother, who Lan Qiren had met only twice, had been when in search of a snack, and given that woman’s force of personality (and, for that matter, appetite), that was saying something.

“I wasn’t expecting them to start talking about breaking the curse,” Nie Huaisang said bitterly. “I didn’t mean a curse like – like a kid’s story, or something! I just meant, you know…”

The qi deviations, he did not say.

“It could be seen as a curse, if you look at it in the right light,” Lao Nie agreed. He didn’t seem especially perturbed by the fact that his son’s conversation with Lan Xichen had been overheard and then spread out everywhere, nor that the secret of his eldest son’s improbable survival was being gossiped about all over the cultivation world. “It’s quite a reasonable way to describe it, really.”

Lan Qiren shot his old friend a frown. “I trust you’ve heard the rest of it, too?” he asked tartly. “They’re saying that you’d let the entirety of the Qinghe Nie go to whoever succeeded in breaking the ‘curse’.”

“Who says I won’t?” Lao Nie asked, and Lan Qiren turned to him fully to stare: he couldn’t be serious.

Lao Nie caught his glance and shook his head, and in the light he didn’t look grim and angry, the way he always was these days; he looked tired, and sad, and broken. “Oh, I’m quite serious, my friend,” he said. “If someone could bring me back my son, I would give them my head off my shoulders in a heartbeat.”

He was speaking hypothetically, Lan Qiren knew, and yet – with a sinking sensation in his heart – he knew, too, that they weren’t sitting somewhere as secret as he would have liked for a conversation like this. He knew that others had probably heard what Lao Nie had said, and instead of understanding that he was expressing regret for what had happened to his son, they would think…

Well.

They’d think a lot of things.

“Think of your health, instead of your death,” Lan Qiren finally said, shaking his head. He’d been helping Lao Nie for years now, fighting a rearguard action against Lao Nie’s own inevitable qi deviation, trying to win enough time for Nie Huaisang to grow up old enough to take over properly, but it was getting harder each visit, the treatment less effective, the healing slower.

It would not be too long now.

“They’re the same thing,” Lao Nie said, shaking his head. “I should have lost my life years ago, instead of losing him his…it’s been so long, Qiren. Every day I wake up is a day I live for him, not for me – living the way he would want me to, doing what he’d approve of. It’s the least I could do. If someone could bring him back to me…someone, anyone, anyone at all…”

His gaze was distant, and sad. Terribly sad.

“What Qinghe Nie? What Unclean Realm? What inheritance?” he finally said.  “There’s nothing I wouldn’t give for that. Nothing at all.”

-

Wen Ruohan was the first.

For some reason, Lao Nie hadn’t been expecting that, though perhaps he should have – the reason he’d first started liking Wen Ruohan so much all those years ago was purely because of how shameless the man was, arrogant and careless of the world in the way only the truly dangerous could be. He’d liked that aspect of his back then, and when he wasn’t lying to himself, he knew he liked it still.

But this?

This was too far.

“How dare you?” he roared, and there was a red haze over his vision of the sort that he knew boded extremely ill for his long-term health. “My Unclean Realm is closed – do you think that you would be welcome? You, of all people?”

Wen Ruohan had forced his way right up to their gate, bringing with him a small retinue rather than the invasion force Lao Nie’s elders were always a little concerned about. As a result, he was now surrounded, surrounded and outnumbered, but he did not seem afraid.

Detestable man.

Lao Nie hated him now. He hated him as much as he’d once liked him.

He hated that he couldn’t hate him more.

“I’m here about the curse,” Wen Ruohan said, and Lao Nie stared at him, utterly speechless. “You did say ‘anyone at all’.”

“You want Qinghe Nie?” Lao Nie asked blankly, though of course he would – Wen Ruohan’s ambitions to take over the entire cultivation world were hardly secret. No, even if that was the first thing that came to his lips, Wen Ruohan’s blatant overreaching wasn’t actually what surprised him.

No, what surprised him was –

“You know it’s not a curse,” he said.

“I do,” Wen Ruohan said, and when he lifted his eyes to meet Lao Nie’s, Lao Nie was surprised to find them bloodshot. Not the familiar sort, the qi deviations of rage the way all Nie sect leaders went eventually, but rather a sort that was even more common than that.

Grief. Sorrow. Guilt.

Regret.

That last one was a word Lao Nie would previously have put money on Wen Ruohan not knowing.

“You said ‘anyone at all’,” Wen Ruohan said again, and it occurred to Lao Nie that that was the part that Wen Ruohan had quoted, the part he was stressing: not the inheritance, not There’s nothing I wouldn’t give, but just that. Anyone at all, Lao Nie had said, and he’d meant it, too. Anyone at all meant anyone.

Even Wen Ruohan.

“Since when do you care?” Lao Nie asked. “You were the one who did it.”

“I did it,” Wen Ruohan admitted. “I was angry at you. I’ve been angry at you for years. I thought I’d cleansed myself of all feeling before you dug the heart out of me, and yet you treated me lightly, giving me only as much of yourself as you wished. I thought that if I could only get rid of you, I could seal my heart up again and be none the worse for it.”

“You would’ve gone mad,” Lao Nie said, feeling irritable. “I told you time and time again, the path of clarity is a dead end. No man can live without feeling emotions. Sorrow may try to trick you into thinking it’s preferable, but in the end...”

Wen Ruohan smiled, humorless. “Sorrow can be very convincing. But that’s not what you asked – you wanted to know why I was here.”

Lao Nie crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, then?”

“You’re still here,” Wen Ruohan said. “My heart is not dead. And I – I nearly murdered a child.”

That brother of his, Lao Nie thought, and he understood.

But what good would his understanding do?

“I have to try to fix it,” Wen Ruohan said. No, not said – he was nearly begging. “Lao Nie, you said anyone. I did it, I acknowledge it. I was wrong. I regret. Let me have a chance to try to fix it.”

“There’s no fixing it,” Lao Nie said, and turned away. “You ran a fool’s errand, Hanhan. He’s not even here.”

[dmsden]

Make It Mean Something - Making PC deaths meaningful to the other players

Hullo, Gentle Readers. Sometimes the dice are not in a player’s favor. Sometimes three death saves come up awfully fast. Sometimes a death happens, and everyone’s sitting around the table uncertainly, not sure how to react. It is that moment that daddydeputy raised in their Question from a Denizen. They asked if I had any thoughts on “How to make pc deaths more impactful and growthful for the others (and perhaps themselves?)”

DD, it’s a tricky balance to strike. On the one hand, you want the game to have real and dangerous consequences for the actions the characters take. On the other hand, the death of a beloved character can really upset a player or even crash a whole campaign. My players are very mature and accepting of the consequences (although they’ll pull out all the stops to try and stop it from happening to one of their own), but not everyone can be, even if they say they are. Sometimes you don’t know how the death of a character is going to affect you until it happens. I think of myself as a very mature player, but if a character as dear to me as Skittle, my mouse pooka from Changeling the Dreaming, died, I suspect I’d be devastated.

Some campaigns have a very revolving door attitude towards death. Oh, you died? Here’s a revivify spell, or a raise dead spell, or what have you. Other make it harder, possibly keeping those spells out of the hands of the players or requiring skill challenges for raising the dead (a la Critical Role). I suspect DD is wanting to lean more towards the latter, so let’s look at some ways to really make death matter.

Run lower-level campaigns: At low levels, death is a lot more difficult to overcome. By the time you get your fallen friend to a temple, the window for Revivify is long over, and who can afford the diamond for a Raise Dead spell, even assuming you can find a cleric who can cast it for free for you? But most NPC temples I’ve run in my games have been willing to cast Raise Dead for free if the PCs will undertake a quest on behalf of the temple. In a situation like this, the dead PC’s player could potentially play a cleric or paladin of the temple sent along to help, or the temple might cast raise dead in advance and take an oath that they will fulfill the quest. If the temple doesn’t trust them to keep their word, there are always geas spells to make sure of it.

Limit access to spells that return the dead: Maybe not every god grants the ability to raise the dead to their followers. Maybe diamonds are hard to find in your campaign. Whatever the path you take, you can make certain that death isn’t just a revolving door by making the spells difficult to cast. Maybe the deity will only grant the spells to their cleric once the party fulfills a quest or defeats a monster that has been plaguing the faithful. You could change the material component from a diamond to “the deity’s favor.” Casting the spell expends the favor, so now a new service to the deity would be needed before the next chance of casting it.

Make return from death uncertain: One of the things I really like in Critical Role that I intend to adopt in my next campaign (and I even know how I’m going to make the change make sense in my campaign world) is that returning from death via Raise Dead is by no means a certain thing. The Critical Role has a skill challenge like system in which up to three people can contribute to the ritual to return the dead by entreating the dead person to return. If people all want to use the same skill, such as Persuasion, the DC for the second and third people goes up. A PC might be coaxed to return via Performance, Persuasion, Intimidation, Deception...I’d even allow rolls like Arcana for magically coercing the dead spirit to return or Religion to remind a Paladin that their duty to their deity is not yet fulfilled. This had led to some dramatic moments in CR, and I definitely intend to put together my own system for my next campaign.

Make return from death limited: You could very easily put together a system that limited the number of times the same spirit could return from the dead. In older editions of D&D, returning from death required a “System Shock” check, and the body might not survive the attempt to reunite it with its spirit. If you wanted something similar, you could make a system in which one of your attributes represents your ability to return from death, even using Revivify. I would like base it off of your Constitution or Charisma score. You can return from death a number of times equal to 1+your Constitution or Charisma modifier (minimum of 1). That way, characters can die at least once and come back, but it can’t happen dozens of times.

Make the way someone dies directly affect their afterlife: For some players, this will really matter. I once had a ranger who despised dragons in a campaign. He found a dragonslaying sword, made it his business to get the party to face dragons, etc. When he finally died, it was facing two dragons to buy the party time to escape from a canyon where the dragons were in danger of TPKing them. He was killed, but he wounded both dragons quite a bit. The party managed to kill them, and they recovered the body. The ranger’s player absolutely had no intention of coming back from the dead. “How on earth would my character have a cooler death than that?” the player laughed. “That was perfect.” I described how he was received into the afterlife of his culture as a hero, and he was very happy with the end of the story for his ranger. To draw this along further, what if how a PC dies affects their standing in the afterlife? If they die in a super cool way, maybe they get a high place of honor in Valhalla, or whatever you use. A PC who then dies fighting a lich or saving innocents is likely to receive a heroes welcome. This might be preferable to them than going back to life and then possibly getting killed by a trap or a bunch of orcs. This then makes the heroic death more palatable and desirable.

However you decide to make death impactful, I strongly recommend letting story trump rules for dramatic purposes. Technically, a character who has failed three death saving throws is just plain dead, but what fun is that. Instead, consider the possibility of having them be beyond saving instead. Let them be briefly conscious, either to beg the others to find a way to save them (think Spider-Man in Avengers: Infinity War as he gets “dusted”) or to tell them that their death is welcome and to let them go (a la Theoden in Return of the King). I remember a Werewolf game where a beloved PC was dying and telling her beloved pack how much she cared for them. There were many real tears being shed around the table, including by me as the Storyteller. Giving the PC a chance to speak and interact, even though it’s not part of the rules, gave the group a moment that I know I personally will never forget.

The biggest piece of advice I can give is that you must make sure your players are onboard with this. If you want death to be more powerful, impactful, and difficult to return from, DO NOT spring this on your players mid-game. This should be something everyone’s aware of, not something that comes as a surprise. Let everyone know during Session Zero; make sure everyone is okay with it, and, if not, be prepared to either back off from the idea (or else find a different player who’s onboard.) Like the X-card, be prepared to modify this even mid-campaign if someone shows that maybe they’re not as okay with losing Damathran Darkwarden as they thought they were. In the end, it’s just a game. It’s not worth hurting feelings and losing friends over.

I hope that helps, DD. Thanks for the question!