#i think about this a lot and consider deleting my blogs like daily

[nipuni]

Time for an old school blog post, Hello!

Just various updates about life and shows and clothes and some photos! Adding a read more cut because I talk too much 😊

Happy equinox everyone!! The mild weather has been wonderful for daily park walks. We have been taking our meals outside as often as we can to make the most of it before summer scorches the land and all life. The longer days allow for a lot more wandering too but the imminent return of the heat is also making the longing to move up north worse by the day. We miss the choppy ocean and seaside cliffs 😭 We love the silence and the rain and the nippy sea breeze!! it's like being suspended in early spring for half the year and a rainy autumn the other half, Ideal if you don't mind humidity, but that's what wellies and flat caps are for. We have been looking for properties to rent to show up everyday so for now we lie in wait.

Speaking of nature, a few months ago we discovered a free app called Plantnet that you use to take and upload photos of plants, trees, flowers and it will identify them for you. You keep a log with their locations and can share them too to help contribute to each local biodiversity database. It feels like a pokedex for plants. There are many apps like this one to choose from too. It's been so fun learning what all these plants are called and memorizing them! I recommend it, is like a little educational side quest to take on while stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. This is not an ad I promise lmao I just think it's neat! kind of sad feeling the need to clarify that.

This weather is also making me want to start making outfit posts again! It's been so long since I made any!! my winter wardrobe is mostly long wool coats or capes and boots so the inspiration wasn't there but now I'm ready to pull out all my stuff back from under my bed storage and experiment again 👏 I've also been meaning to share some of Nicolas outfits for ages too so there is more variety, could be fun!

Speaking of clothes, lately I've grown more and more frustrated with how poorly most clothes fit me to the point where I'm considering learning how to make them from scratch. I usually have to take in the tops and hem the bottoms but most things I try on are just built weird even if I fix the size, or maybe I'm built weird! I think it may be both. Nicolas also said he would love to learn along with me so we will probably embark on that adventure soon. OH and on a short tangent, I got myself a sort of binder-like top that flattens the chest a bit and I'm loving it! I'm very flat already but what little bust I do have has always bothered me when I dress and I've found I feel a lot more comfortable in this type of top. I'm glad I tried it out so if you feel similarly you may want to give it a go too, see how it feels!

On the media side of things we have also been watching more of David Tennant's work. We are still very much in love with him to an embarrassing degree, you can probably tell if you follow me anywhere, my likes on twitter alone give me away alksjdf and Nicolas isn't any better! if he used social media his would look the same lmao.

Since my last report we have watched and absolutely LOVED "There She Goes" we already want to watch it again honestly. The family dynamics for all his characters are always so real and refreshing!! Their relationship with their wives especially are always so believable in every series we've seen, the comfort and camaraderie, the banter and just friendship! You can tell they enjoy each other's company, it feels true. I love it so much!!

We also watched "Inside man" which was..a very stressful mess but David was incredible as always, also very hot and very pitiful which is always great, and Stanley Tucci was on it! so that's also fun.

Then we rewatched season one of Good Omens and the first 4 seasons of Doctor Who, with all the extra content like the Confidentials, deleted scenes, video diaries and more, they are just so good!! our list of favourite episodes keeps growing, season four is incredible, we are loving all these seasons even more the second time around!! Now we are probably going to start watching either Classic Who or Torchwood, along with more of David's work. We were trying to pick what to watch during dinner the other day and Nicolas was like 'damn, David is not in this though, I miss him' and lmao same so now we just watch one show without him and one with him right after to cope 😂

OH we have also been doing more historical reenactment! Since the last one in the 20's we jumped back to Regency times. We have been putting our outfits together for a ball soon and hopefully another one in autumn in the UK 😊 1800 is the farthest back in time we've been yet so it's been fun doing research, finding pieces and learning the dances in class but also very hectic. I'll share more about this soon!

Then we also have a couple of 1900 events coming soon, so I'll be sharing more Edwardian looks as well, our favourite era!!

Anyway I think that's all for now, thanks for reading to whoever is doing so!! I know this is long and not a popular blogging format anymore but I enjoy it a lot, maybe some of you do too 🥰 I will reply to some messages soon, I'm so sorry I'm so bad at keeping up with those!! I've read them all and cherish every word 🥺 Thank you for supporting my art and shenanigans as always!! I hope you have a great week!!

[lunarubra]

Little update...

First, I want to apologize in advance—this is going to be a bit long, and I’ll be venting about a lot of things. Sorry for that.

So, I realize almost no one noticed this, and that’s partly because I’ve been quiet about it, trying to process everything before doing anything.

I took a few days off from Tumblr to figure out if I was just overreacting or being overly sensitive. I even debated whether I should take down all my stories, delete my blog, or just keep one. To be honest, bullying isn’t new to me; I’ve dealt with it most of my life.

Over the past few days, though, a blog—or possibly a group of blogs—started bullying me and attacking what I’ve published, to the point where they reported my Chapter 7 to Tumblr, which led to it being taken down. That chapter contained smut, and apparently, I didn’t follow the guidelines by not marking it as mature content.

But what really hurts is that these people "discovered" through my stories that I���m Muslim and Arab. Since then, I’ve been bombarded with racist, disgusting messages. Even after blocking them, I kept receiving more, to the point where I had to disable anonymous asks.

I’ve reached out to Tumblr and appealed the removal of Chapter 7. Hopefully, it’ll be restored, but I’ll have to mark it as mature content. Which, let’s be honest, feels a bit ridiculous considering no one else seems to be doing that and they’re getting by just fine—but then again, they’re not being harassed by a group of Zionists.

So, what’s the point of all this? Well, here it is: Are you done? You don’t like that I’m Muslim—what a shocker. You think I’m a terrorist, that the only "good Muslim" is a dead one? Fine. But just ignore me. When I started this blog, I made a rule for myself: stay away from politics. I wanted a space that was mine, where the only thing that mattered was obsessing over our fandom. I needed that. A place where, at least here, I didn’t have to worry about what it’s like to be a Muslim in the Western world.

And yes, I know this situation isn’t the biggest deal in the grand scheme of things. A bunch of insults about why I shouldn’t exist and getting reported for one chapter isn’t earth-shattering. But it’s just another place where I can’t pretend to feel safe. Even here, in my own little corner, playing with my "characters", if my characters aren’t white and Christian, it’s somehow a problem.

I understand what real problems are. My aunt is Palestinian, from Haifa. Do you know what that means for my family? It means every day, we hear news about people we know—or people my mom, my uncle, or my aunt knew—being killed or trying to flee for their lives. I get these updates daily. So forgive me if I wanted at least this space to be free from Zionist insults. Just leave me alone, for fuck's sake.

From now on, anyone who thinks Muslims should die, who labels me a terrorist, or who tries to explain how Israel is just "defending itself" will be blocked.

Sorry for the long post, but I needed to get this off my chest.

[kanene-yaaay]

The Time

Heya heyaaa

Oof, thing feel really serious when I put a title javagcwwuvwdodj but! It's a proper moment to use a title here, I think. After all, I came to say goodbye.

Yeah, who would think ahfwtwcev

I have been thinking and pondering about this for some months now, since June when That Stuff happened and I had to jump away from here and uhhh it feels corny to say that but a lot of things changed to me and I changed a lot together with everything too.

So, I think it's my time to let this blog go. Not because I feel bad about it now or anything but... I am no longer that attached to tickling to maintain it. It's still cute, playful and comforting, but it is now a part of a lot of other things that are just as cute, playful and comforting to me.

This blog had a good run and I'm incredibly grateful because of it. Six entire years, if I am not mistaken, and I won't delete it anytime soon so the numbers will keep going! For as long as it wants or it is allowed to. All my fics, my headcanons, my rambles and reblogs will stay here because I don't want nor have the heart to delete it. There are such amazing, wonderful and well created arts and stories in this community that deserve all the attention and all the screams.

And! Talking about that! The people! I would like to say the biggest and most heartful thank you that you could ever imagine. Full of big hugs and smiles. I've met awesome people here that I will forever hold dear in my heart. Thank you for the company and the fun and for being so lovely and inspiring to me, all of you. It doesn't matter if we talked for years or minutes, thank you very much. It was so cool! @oliviaischillin1204, @august-anon, @flames-tstuff, @soft--valentine, @honeydew-sillies, @carrie-tate, @trashyswitch, @rosileeduckie, @squeaky-n-blushy, @why-not-a-tickle-blog, @thetickleeraven, @a-fluffer-nutter, @fluffyskies, @just-open-the-fridge-yo, @fluffystuffies, @ijustliketickling, @veryblushyswitch also everyone that is no longer in the community. If you see this, I remember you! Big hug!

And thank you so much for all of you that supported my blog and my work in any and every way. Commenting, reblogging, liking, sending askys about it... It really meant (and means!) a whole lot to me and Def is one of the reasons that kept me creating for so so long and so so much. It was the reason I stopped feeling so self conscious about my English and helped me to try new things and scenarios. Please accept this cookie as a token of my appreciation 🍪 I love to see all of your rambles or just your icon appearing on my notifs.

Also, how could I ever forget the artists and writers that make this community such a fun and colorful space? All the thanks and all the screams and rambles to all of you. Creating is so hard and yet you just come here and do such a wonderful job! How dare! I still think about your creations in my daily life, believe me ahcwgwxwhwcwfcw @ticklepinions, @intheticklecloset, @jettorii, @ssnicker-doodles, @giggly-squiggily, @simplysmilingdrew, @tiklart, @otomiyaa, @verynickelpizzarascal, @fbpanimations and much much more, tbh all the beans that I got shy to tag kjhgfdefghj

Hmmm, I think that this is what I wanted to say. To be honest, writing fics w tickling in it still feels comfortable and cool, so I will probably appear from one year or other to post something and vanish again ahfwtwxwowyq but yeah, can't really say that there will be much interaction besides that. I had that Big Post full of arts and fics that I love that I wanted to post before going but no energy dfghjhgf maybe one day I will finish it and post oh well

Anyway. One of the things that I always tried to bring here was that every creator should have at least one nice comment soooo if ! You think about me or this blog! Consider giving a comment or a quick rb to some artist/creator/blog that you really like, bet it will bring a smile to the bean's face! :D

Okay, okay, enough of rambling. It was incredible. Thank you! Hope you have a lovely week and don't forget to be kind, take care and drink water. Byee <3 <3

[siffrin-gimmick-blog-number-37]

Greetings and Salutations, everyone! Allow me to properly introduce myself.

My name is Zeisty King — aka the random individual behind this silly little blog! I mainly go by just Zeisty, though (seeing as I treat the "King" part as a surname).

My main goal for this blog is to doodle Siffrin from In Stars and Time (as well as other characters sometimes) so I can get used to a new tablet and set up, while also having fun with it!! Hence why I named this blog the way I did and why I don't mind calling the art I post here "messy," especially considering half of them are sketches anyway!

I may make mistakes from time to time and some results may be wonky, but that's okay! It's all a part of the learning process!! And is not limited to forgetting how anatomy works; I put two hands on the wrong way in one post once and I have to accept the fact I did that.

REOCCURRING GIMMICK BLOG TAGS:

#main blog to gimmick blog — anything from my main blog that I've reblogged to this one! I don't think I'll do it a whole lot, but I just wanted to let you know that happens and that they may contain spoilers when it does.

#not quite a daily — on occasion, doodles that don't count as a daily (but are still silly enough to be shown off on this blog) will be posted here! I don't think I'll do it too much, but don't be surprised if you see any doodles that aren't dailies from time to time.

#personal reblog — anything I've reblogged from myself once, twice or even thrice! I sometimes do it to make sure you haven't missed a post from me, or if I have something else to say about it.

#siffrin gimmick blog asks — as of posting this introduction this week, this is a new one! These are any questions you lovely folks wanna send in through this blog's askbox, and that I've answered.

#siffrin gimmick blog doodles — self explanatory! These are any drawings/doodles I've made for this blog, dailies or otherwise! I aim post here every day, though I sometimes won't on account of my memory or out of respect for certain events. Or if I need a break. I am only one goober, after all.

#siffrin gimmick blog rambles — any thoughts I need to say or anything I need to inform you will be under this tag! They won't contain art, so this one and any others like it are the exceptions.

#siffrin gimmick blog suggestions — got any suggestions for me to draw? Along with the ask tag, this is a new one as of this week! Any ideas you have for me to draw will be slotted under this tag! Be careful not to send in any spoilers, as I refuse to draw them six days of the week.

#siffrin gimmick blogs angsty sundays — this is the only time I'll intentionally post spoilery, angsty and/or serious art! I'll make sure to tag them as such so you can avoid them. I just wanted to give you a little head's up that I'll also reblog spoilers and tag them as well. :3

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

-My main blog is @electrozeistyking! You can find me reblogging my gimmick blog doodles there, along with any other stuff I drew not meant for this one (and stuff other people made)!! It's not exclusively ISAT stuff though, obviously.

-I swear quite a bit and do not tag them when I do. It'd probably be a hassle for me if I did, so if you're not cool with that, feel free to block this blog! You absolutely don't have to interact if you don't want to. I will tag other serious stuff/triggers, though! (Except this post, seeing as it's the introduction and it's important folks don't miss it. Sorry!)

-I'm not guaranteed to accept every suggestion or answer every ask sent my way. In the case of suggestions, there is a chance I won't be inspired enough to draw it for you; in the case of asks, I might not know what to say. And other possible reasons, if they ever happen to come up.

-I see every ask sent my way, so please try not to send the exact same Ask/Suggestion more than once! I promise I'm either formulating a response, figuring out how to draw your suggestion, or I was forced to delete it (in regards to the following note).

-I don't want this blog to overshadow you, so I'll unfortunately have to force myself to delete your ask if it has nothing to do with this blog in particular or ISAT. That's why I recommend you send it into my main blog instead!

That's it for now! Thanks for reading, and for hanging around this blog with me! :D

[jewish-sideblog]

Hi, Australian Jew here.

Sending this anonymously because I'm not openly Jewish on Tumblr, however I am considering doing so in the short-term.

I'm sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask you a few questions, if you're open to it (feel free to ignore this if so). Just so you know, I'm asking the same questions of the Jewish bloggers I follow who post regularly - both those who blog about the current Israel/Palestine situation, and those who identify as Jewish but post mainly fandom/other content.

Do you or have you receive/d abuse for being Jewish, or for your stance on the war? If so, how often? How do you respond to any hateful messages? Do you post them publicly or answer them privately? How much would you say your mental health is/has been affected by any messages, or by the content you see on your feed? Have you developed any strategies for handling social media during this time?

Thank you for reading. :-)

Shalom, Aussie chaver!

This is a question I've answered privately a couple of times, and I'm kinda surprised I haven't talked about it more publicly before. Thank you for the opportunity!

Before October 7, I mostly received microaggressions for being Jewish-- especially within goyishe queer communities. That sucked, but nothing I couldn't shake off. Since then, as I'm sure you can assume, it's been a completely different beast. This blog alone receives weekly hate mail, and that can increase to multiple daily death threats if a post I make starts to circulate. Some of that abuse is under the guise of anti-Zionism, but a lot of it is pure bare-bones mask-off antisemitism. 95% of the time, I just delete them and move on with my day. It's difficult to read them sometimes, of course. But there has never once been a hateful ask in my inbox that amounted to even a remotely reasonable critique of my character, of my posts, or of my identity. So they get trashed.

My coping skills for mental health on the internet right now boil down to two things. The first is that, for every death threat I get in my inbox, I get more thank-you notes. I hardly have a big following here, but it's clear that the people who follow me appreciate what I do here. Knowing that I bring more hope, strength, and truth to my Jewish community is what gives me the strength to brush off the hate mail.

My one real strategy for handling social media is the Queue. Oh, G-d, I love the Queue. I'm honestly only on tumblr for like an hour twice a week. It keeps me from the despair and the doomscrolling while still letting me post several times daily. I think my Queue is 50 posts long right now so I could stay offline for two weeks and not have to worry. The side effect is that I often reblog posts which are a week or so old, but as long as I remember not to cue breaking news, it's not that big a deal.

[starrycometmoth]

It's time to make a new intro again, the old one feels a bit crunchy!!

HIII!! ¡HOLAAA!

☆ My name is Echo/Minori (call me whichever), I'm agender and use they/xe/moon/star/bean/boo pronouns!! I'm just an adult who's very obsessed with pjsk and pokemon (shout out to p:eg and mouthwashing too cuz I like those too, along with other stuff)!! I have two lovely platonic girlfriends who I love dearly (Luna, my love ❤️, and June, my princess 🩷)!! ¡Estoy aprendiendo español, así puedo hablar un poco también! ^w^

☆ I love MMJ a normal amount (<- got called "MORE MORE JUMP! pilled" by their friend). I also really love Leo/need and Mizuki!! I also love the dynamic of the Hinomori siblings a very normal amount (I DO NOT SHIP THEM NOR DO I CONDONE THAT)!! :3

☆ My posts just gonna be a bunch of randomness, mainly art, rambles, and vents (if vents make you uncomfy, please feel free to block me or anything)!! Currently I'm in shambles, so we've got a LOT of rambles and vents (I delete most of my vents tho).

☆ PLEASE INTERACT IF YOU LIKE THESE CHARACTERS: Minori Hanasato, Haruka Kiritani, Airi Momoi, Shizuku Hinomori, Shiho Hinomori, Mizuki Akiyama, Diana Venicia, Anya (Mouthwashing), Daisuke (Mouthwashing), Penny (Pokemon), Kieran (Pokemon), Gangle (tadc), Rosalina (Mario)

Under the cut will be my DNI, tags, other blogs, and whatever idk-

☆ DNI (unless I interact first): homophobes, transphobes, abelist, basic DNI criteria. No proshippers/darkshippers, especially sibling/sibling or minor/adult (if it's like 18/17 that's fine, but I mean like 14/39 or something). People who don't support OC x canon or self-shipping, just let people be themselves. NSFW accounts/people who constantly reblog NSFW, that stuff makes me really uncomfy. DNI If you're constantly making hate posts towards my comfort characters (list above the cut), as dumb as it sounds, if I see hate on them it genuinely hurts me and I just can't do that. People who don't support or sexualize age regression/pet regression, again, just let people be themselves. Basically, DNI anti whatever you call "cringe" or people who believe in "cringe," being cringe and weird is fun.

☆ Ships I don't like: Yes, desafortunadamente, even tho I am a multishipper, there are ships I genuinely cannot stand to see because they make me uncomfortable. I'm just gonna list out the ones for my current fandoms, there are ones from other fandoms, however I'm not listing them here considering they won't interact unless I specify. Anyways... Shizuku x Shiho (I've made that pretty clear I think), Drayton x Kieran, Jimmy x Anya. Please DNI if you like those ships.

☆ I have a roleplay account of Minori Hanasato, @minorinrin-mmj !! I also have an account where I post photos of Diana Venicia every day, @daily-diana-venicia !! Not a blog, but I also have a pronouns page if you wanna check it out!! Also my pjsk friend code is 495680891558027267!!

☆ Gonna explain my tags, they're all linked in the actual tags. #echo 📎💚 is everything I post (no reblogs, even if I make a rant on it or something). #little echo ☁️✨ is similar except it's posts I make while age regressing (which isn't too often). #Lumi Hinomori is about my main OC, Lumi (every iteration of them, however the name came from their pjsk counterpart). #HaruLumi (Lumi x Haruka) and #BrightStarShipping (Lumi x Penny) are their ship tags. #The Lyrical Bane is a tag for an old Pokemon AU of mine, Mochi Mayhem: The Lyrical Bane (MMTLB), I'd say it's what got me to start posting here more often, because I'd do rambles about it here and link them to my Pinterest posts. Speaking of Pinterest, #Pinterest repost is my tag for any of my posts that I originally posted on Pinterest before putting them here. #echo's fun!! au will be for my AU based on the MMJ song FUN!!

☆ idk what else to put here so I'm just gonna end it here, I'm sure there will be many updates to this HSJAKA

☆ Just don't be a dick, let's be nice to eachother and have fun!! I wanna be a nontoxic safe space for people <3

Have a lovely day!! <3

[tekutiger]

Post 3 for the day about games 😅😇

First thing I'm going to say here is, if you consider getting this one, do NOT get it for the Switch. Get it for the PC. It is massively buggy on the Switch and there is so much drama regarding the bugs and fixes that it's kind of a mess. But it's genuinely a great game. I'm hoping they get all of that resolved but like all things- it's something that's going to require time.

This isn't the first game I've seen this with, and I'm positive it isn't going to be the last.

That being said...

😅

Only reason I haven't logged in yet today is because I've been writing blog posts all day and doing chores, lol.

My story with this game is a bit of a roller coaster. It might even deter some people and if it does that's fine. I'm going to be completely transparent here.

I attempted to play this at the beginning of last year, iirc? For around 9-ish hours and I found it so incredibly complicated with all of the craft stations that I just couldn't get into it. This is coming from someone who plays FFXIV on a near daily basis and has played other games like FFVII, Ragnarok Online (live and p-servers), Sims 4, WoW, DDLV, and like 20+ other small indie games I can't recall atm- not that those have insanely complicated crafting systems but they're not one-click craft systems either.

Simply put, I dropped it because I had other games that made more sense. But a friend of mine had this on their wishlist so I bought it for them this last Christmas and I noticed another friend of mine had also bought it. The friend I had bought it for was very enthusiastic about playing it so I was like "okay... I guess I should try re-learning it again!". I logged in... but all of my things had poofed- including my farm, lol ��� It was just an overgrown mess of trees, rocks, and weeds. I don't even know how that's possible. I went to reddit and I guess this happened to several people in some patch a while back in July (2024) or something and it was a freak-accident that should have never happened- just some dozen of players were affected by it. Go figure, lol.

👆�� This is basically what my "farm" looked like after I attempted to clean it up thinking "maybe if I clean the area it's supposed to be on, it'll come back"... yeah no. That didn't work LOL. (I was also an angel previous to this and tried to remake my chara to an elf and it just shoved me back on the same plot with the same items and pet so that was confusing)

I decided at that point I needed to remake my character again but this time delete my old character because it was taking from my old character data somehow? I had no clue what was happening here, being totally unfamiliar with this game...

The good news is- I got my NEW elf and my NEW farm up and running and everything is smooth now.

This game is really cute though, in that it has seasonal events, a main story plot (that I haven't completely finished yet), multiple towns, characters you can romance (and even date/marry), lots of decorations, many pets and mounts, toggle settings so you can choose your play style. If you want to be casual or don't want to worry about HP, you can enable invincible. If you don't want to deal with the seasonal crop nonsense like pests stealing your stuff or crops freezing in the winter- you can turn that off.

Second important point I'd like to make is that this game is a bit slow to start, or get going. But after you get the snowball rolling, it'll avalanche, so don't give up on it. And all those crafting stations- take time to scroll through them and learn what they have and do. Don't do what I did the first time and craft ALL of them ALL at once like a dummy and get overwhelmed with them, lol 🙃

Third, those seasonal bosses that come to wreak havoc on your farm; you have the option to ask for help from people in the town. It's in the dialogue box. I think I skipped this the first time, I know other people skip this too, and then get frustrated and stop playing because there's an elementari on your farm throwing out all these things you have to remove taking away time from all of your normal tasks. Don't put yourself through that if you don't want to and ask for help, lol. But if you want to, by all means 😅 (There's also a setting to turn the seasonal bosses off, but then you miss out on some items.)

I don't want to spoil major plot points of the game but I had to show off the cephalopods and the helpful watering ghostie. The other two shots I just like a lot 💖

Here's some of my decorating 😊 The art studio is for Jun, he loves his plants so I made it very plant-y 🪴🎨. The kitchen cafe is more for my character 🍵🌻. If you play and marry Jun, the sunflowers will make sense.

I have several other areas to decorate but 40 minutes being the maximum you can set days to be kind of makes that a bit difficult for me 🫠 (personal problems, lol, I'm a slow decorator)

I do kind of wish the game's wiki was updated. They stopped updating it at some point. And the Reddit mods are no longer active but people are currently trying to get new mods in. This game and its community is very much still active- it just needs some tlc.

[actorsmask]

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

I may be a bit late for this post, but nevertheless, I still wanted to make it.

But no, I am NOT quitting this blog. I am NOT quitting tumblr in general!

Ok now that that’s settled…

My New Years letter to you all!

Warnings: VERY LONG….

I just want to say that I am so incredibly thankful for all of your support on all three of my blogs(even if some are more well known than others). Last year, when I had first formatted this blog, I was just a simple anon with an assigned emoji that terrorized a Gepard and Sampo blog for the fun of it. And to make them kiss, but we all knew that already. But back then, I never thought my blog would grow so much, and turn into a safe space for me to create and enjoy my OCs and interests with others.

Tumblr, as cheesy as it sounds, has actually changed my life. I’ve met so many people on this app, some that I talk to daily as well, people that I consider some of my best friends. My ride-or-dies. It may have only started with two people, but then it grew to four, then the Jarilo server was made. It was there that I got to meet so many more people, make even more connections, able to help expand more on Blythe thanks to their help, and have fun times in general. Rethinking on those times fills me with indescribable joy, and I’m glad that those joyous things happened to me.

Of course, there were bad things bound to happen throughout the year. I will not divulge as it is very old news though. But unfortunately a chain of events led to the deletion of the Jarilo server I mentioned above, and the loss of a few friends. As well as some revelations on who really are my friends and people who aren’t really to my preference of character. Those times were stressful, and while I wish things could’ve gone differently… You can’t really travel back in time to the past, right? So while I regret some things that happened, I’m glad that I am still able to remember the goof instead of dwelling on the things that made it go away.

Now you probably want me to talk about Blythe, right? Blythe, say hi.

“Hi.”

Wow, so energetic… Anyways.

As I said, this blog used to be a substitute for an anon blog, since I was tired of forgetting to turn on anon in asks. It also made rp’ing easier, as things had started to get more serious with more events happening(which were admittedly, mostly started by me), and it was easier to reblog instead of constantly sending asks. But I never really considered Blythe’s lore until the Sampo I was rp’ing back then announced an event where he would be leaving Belobog, for reaching what I think was 50 followers at the time. I then made a post regarding the event so we could rp, and things had gotten heated between Blythe and Sampo! But back then, the name Blythe wasn’t even thought of. It was just ‘Ahanon’, as I was named by the Gepard and Sampo blog. Due to my emoji, the 🎭, and it seeming like Aha. So they combined it with Anon, creating ‘Ahanon’.

The server was still active around the time, so I was able to talk to the mods clearly about the rp and what could happen for our characters. Characters? When had I started thinking of my blog as a character and just not myself? It was that specific thread that had started to make me think more about what this blog could really be. How Ahanon and Sampo talked to each other in the thread made it seem as if they had a bond of sorts, so what if I made them their adoptive sibling? Taken in by him? A good start. I developed their personality more through role play, which helped a lot. I recommend it for new OCs, especially if you get to talk to ur rp partner during.

Back to the topic. Then I realized that I needed to make a design for them, so I got some picrew I liked and colored in the parts that I wanted to change about it. Admittedly, I had no idea what I wanted to show in their design. I hadn’t made their lore yet, I was going off the emoji I signed off for them and my impression of them during rp and in general. They actually started out to be rather tall, and eyes similar to Aventurine’s(before his drip marketing, btw). Then I commissioned a friend to draw them, as I wanted more than some poorly colored in picrew that didn’t properly fit my vision of Ahanon. So I told her what I wanted, and she absolutely delivered.

It helped me really look at Blythe. Seeing the proper design somehow made it easier to make their lore. Ah, their lore…

Honestly, I don’t remember the ideas that made me come up with their lore. And I don’t know where I came up with the idea of Maeve either, but I do remember how I made their home planet. It was because of the fact that their first design had eyes similar to Aventurine’s, and there had been a lot of theories regarding how he could be related to the Order. While he isn’t(as we know of), I thought that maybe that could be the case for Blythe. Maybe the reason they got teardrops on their face instead of the usual diamond and spade was because on their back was a birthmark. A mark that their people were born with. For what i based it off on, it was old England. Which is why all names for the planet is in Old English(i used a translator). I havent gone much into its design, but think of it as England in the 1800s.

Blythe themself has really changed my life. In one of the most best ways possible. It gave me something to do in my free time, something to bond over with others, helped me find new friends through their interactions, and helped me rerealize how much I love HSR as well, despite its flaws. And Blythe helped open a path for me to make two more OCs. For MHA and for Genshin, and I love them both just as much as I love Blythe.

Of course, this wouldn’t have been possible without all 116 of you that followed Blythe, and the 30 that followed Vera, and the 4 that followed Manami. Thank you all so much for sending love their way, and for sending me so much support as well.

I’ll be sure to make more and more content for all of them. I have a list of the things I’d like to write for them HAHAHA

So, once again,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

[noblehcart]

Guess who's baack? Its me with a new take on things and tired of running my blog the way I was. SO FIRSTLY, thank you all so much to those who commented and liked my hiatus post 💕💕 I felt so terribly horrifically alone, scared and felt like I was just spiraling into i don't know what and all of the lovely comments and likes on that post helped me immeasurably so thank you all.

I want to give an especially big shout out to @myhiraeth, @leadtohell & @lordofthestrix for reaching out even further to make sure i was okay even after that post because I was just in a seriously bad place and because these lovely people were continually checking in on me. These three I consider my closest friends and phenomenal writers so please go check out their blogs and hit up the muns because they're truly some of the loveliest nicest people on the site.

As for this blog there will be some shifting, deleting and change ups. I will be closing ranks a bit more, especially around to those that did reach out in some manner of way to check on me. Something I realized over this time is that I write best with friends and friends who write back with me. I get not everyone has time to write and be on tumblr, that is not what i mean by writing, I mean simply conversing with me. As I've said before I don't need you to actually thread with me just...talk with me. Plot with me. Tell me about your day. Talk with me about whatever crossed your mind. I write best with friends I trust and who trust me. It does not mean communication has to be on the daily, its whatever generalized communication we set it up as or whenever something pops into mind, but that's how I write and that's how I write best. Me being on this site is getting increasingly difficult and so I am trying my damnedest to stay on, but I can only do so in the company of friends. Friends who check in on each other and write with each other and think of each other and their muses. That's the environment I want to cultivate during my time on here.

I still have an insane IRL going on that is intensely private so that means my time is also hectic, but I am the kind of friend who will try to check in on you and think of you and your muses if you are close to me. However that interest will diminish and drop the less and less I see invested into me as well. I am no longer the sit and wait friend, I am the 'im as invested in you as you are in me' and therefore whatever writing experience you want to cultivate with me requires involvement. I may lose 'friends' or followers and that is fine. I completely understand, but this shift of life that I'm experiencing has brought me to this point of exhaustion of always being the friend who stays and waits. If you want to come write with me then please come write with me and if not that is entirely fine.

But I want my writing partners to be my friends and for the large part most of you ARE my friends because that is what truly develops the best plots, writing and fun and why I love being here with you all.

TO DO LIST:

delete majority of drafts (i need a fresh start with the upcoming year)

unfollow people ( a lot of inactive or people who i dont write with)

revamp old characters (luka mikhailov; i'm tired of letting him sit in the wings)

remove muses (Inej Gh.afa, gleb vag.anov, Dr. Henry Mo.rgan, Chri.stine Chapel , Christi.ne Da.ae , Farazeneh Shir-Del, Gabby Christ.ensen, Ana Mcclain, Paul Chauv.elin, Cassian, Gwyn Ber.dara, J.ason Todd, Nest.a Arc.heron, Ela.in Arche.ron )

add new muses (iris winnow, etienne ainsworth, esme lennox)

create new sideblogs for specific muses (Inej ghafa, gleb vaganov, the ivanovs?)

new mumu blog to be decided?

[silksongeveryday]

I just want to quickly say please don't push yourself to try to fulfill every request !! we all really appreciate what you do and the fact that you're even taking requests to begin with is really cool of u !!! and if ur ever feeling overwhelmed don't hesitate to close requests, those ppl who are pressuring you to get to their request can just deal with it :T and thank you again for providing us coping fans with art to fuel us every day, ur awesome

First off, I want to thank you for being super understanding and appreciative of what I do! The fact that so many of you here have been supporting this blog so much has been a big highlight in my life recently. :)

That being said, I’d like to explain a few things now that we’re on the topic if you don’t mind!

About requests:

There are a few reasons that I usually keep my requests open that I think I would like to explain. One of these reasons is that sometimes I can’t always come up with very good ideas on my own all the time. Taking requests from everyone here in this community can help me draw ideas I would have never thought of and for that I’m grateful. Another is that I personally feel like taking requests builds a sense of community and gives me a chance to connect with all of you. I’ll be honest, I’ve been in quite a few fandoms and some of them were quite toxic. So to see that a majority of my experience here has been very nice has been refreshing in a way.

Now this doesn’t necessarily mean that I should feel obligated to do requests all the time. It’s just that I find them more fun than my ideas most of the time so that’s why there’s more of those than stuff that I’ve come up with.

The main rule that I’ve set for myself is that if I don’t like the request, I simply delete it. If someone repeatedly pushes for their request to be done I just simply ignore it or block that person if it’s too much. This is so I can keep this a comfortable experience for both myself and everyone else who follows this blog. Thankfully this doesn’t happen very often. This actually only happens with like a couple people which is why I haven’t really said anything much about it until now. It hasn’t really bothered me to be honest.

I also do close requests from time to time just to slow the flow down. This is so it doesn’t get too overwhelming since I do have a lot of requests that come in. As of posting this, there are like, 30+ requests that I haven’t done yet? But it’s not a big deal to me personally. I have a whole day to complete a 5 minute doodle so I’m sure I can take that tiny bit of time out of the day to do something so simple. That does mean waiting for your request might take longer, but I’ve already kinda talked about that haha.

Being overwhelmed:

Speaking of being overwhelmed,

Also I should clarify that I’m not really that overwhelmed by requests as you might think. I’ve had my fair share of overwhelming moments with similar scenarios like this and this is nothing compared to those. I knew what I was potentially getting into when starting this account so I knew what to prepare for ahead of time if it ever got to this point. I guess bad past experiences really can benefit you sometimes.

Now that doesn’t mean that I’m not overwhelmed at times! There will be a few moments that running this blog feels a little bit overwhelming but those moments are very brief. And in most cases those moments are usually worrying if people will like my doodle for that day or not. Or if I forgot to post that day lol. But generally speaking it’s nothing too worrying. I consider myself fairly good at keeping a level-headed attitude about this.

I’ve also had a few people both here on tumblr and other platforms say that they think I’m gonna burn out from doing this. Whether they mean this because Silksong hasn’t had any news for so long or because they’ve had no experience with a daily account, I’d like to assure you that burnout has a very low chance of happening for me. I’m intentionally putting semi-low effort into my doodles to avoid putting too much energy to this. Otherwise I’m absolutely sure I would have burned out weeks ago. If anything, I’m fully prepared to be posting to this blog for as long as a year assuming nothing happens along the way to prevent that. (*cough* like Silksong *cough* *cough*) If everything stays as is, then I’ll be here for a while.

-

Overall I’d just like to say that I’m under no pressure at all and all of this is just in good fun.

I think I mostly said everything I wanted to, but I hope I made myself clear about all this. If I missed anything I’ll probably talk about it on my main blog, @miizori.

And anon, you are a great person for being so considerate about this! You guys are just as awesome! My biggest takeaway from doing this is that I’ve had a good experience overall and it’s been really fun to interact with the community. I’ve also been enjoying watching my gradual improvement drawing my favorite characters too. If anything, it’s refreshing.

Most all of thanks for reading this! I look forward to posting more doodles to help everyone (myself included) with coping lol

- miizo :)

[ojcobsessed]

hello, have you heard about the writers' guild of america strike happening? and now it's looking that the actor's guild may go on strike too? do you think that will affect the filming of surface season 2?

hello. yes i've been reading a lot about the ongoing 2023 wga strike as well as the seemingly imminent screen actors guild strike too.

i have already had a couple of people asking me about this in my inbox (not sure if it's the same person if so sorry i will only be responding to this one unless something new happens because they're very similar questions) so here is what i know as of right now.

as we know due to oliver's now-deleted instagram story from earlier today, surface s2 began filming this week in london, england.

an instagram follower theorized to me that maybe they were able to get started shooting s2 during the wga strike "because they had all the scripts for s2 finished before the strike started" or that perhaps they were able to hire uk writers to work on the show.

if the former is the case then while it's technically true that they can legally proceed with shooting, it also means that they can't make a single solitary change to any of the scripts until the strike is over and must shoot every single line exactly as written.

any change in dialogue or scenes is struck work and considered scabbing and anyone caught doing it including actors, will be banned from ever joining the wga.

that's a big problem for shooting because things change daily on sets and under normal circumstances scripts get rewritten daily. actors sprain ankles and have to do a scene sitting down or a character hase to be written out altogether or a planned shots don't work, locations weren't able to be secured in time or things simply don't sound right when said out loud. a thousand things can happen and none of that can be changed without writers during a strike.

if however they hired uk writers to finish the scripts or be on call for rewrites then the entire production is in violation of wga rules (source) as its an american production that would normally fall under the jurisdiction of a wga contract.

to be clear international writers themselves aren't prohibited, per se, from accepting the struck work, but doing so means that they'll be strictly banned from ever doing any paid professional film or television writing in america for the rest of their careers. that anyone would risk that for surface seems... unlikely to me. but then i'm not a tv writer.

as for the screen actors guild, their national board just voted today to ask their members to authorize a strike as well, which, yes means that the production of surface will grind to a screeching halt when that goes into effect.

an instagram follower asked if i was sore oliver was a current member of sag. yes i'm sure.

this is a screenshot of a search for "surface" from the publicly searchable production database on sagaftra.org:

as shown surface is under sag contract and if/when sag-aftra strikes, then the entire cast must strike as well, including oliver and gugu. as its a sag-aftra production everyone on it with a principal role must either already be or become a member of sag -- even if they're not american citizens and even if they are filming abroad. though oliver has likely been a sag-aftra member for years now, seeing how all of netflix and nbc's productions are the same.

for the record this blog is 100% pro-labour and my personal feeling is that if these contract negotiations mean we have to wait a few months for stranger things ands severance and hacks, all of which have already shut down in solidarity with the strike, we can certainly wait a few more months for another season of surface.

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t good with pictures, for Archive Purposes Only, I will add the most important bits of the/rest of the full post and have also checked/updated/added the source links to the best of my abilities.]

"Harry and Louis are only closeted publicly.

In their daily lives they live together, and their friends and family, and probably even close colleagues, know about them.

You have to remember that there are different ways to be closeted, and fandom as a whole seems to be taking the very strict “they can’t be themselves, they are living a lie” type of idea. It’s the most common one where they are just constantly pretending to be heterosexual, they don’t tell anyone they’re gay, it’s this big secret no one knows about, and when celebrities talk about it, they’re always like “it was such a relief to get it off my chest, for someone to finally know”. But... that’s not the only way to be closeted.

There are a lot of people out there who have come out to their family, their friends, and they live their life ... gayly. That’s not implying going out to a club, or cruising, or even announcing they are gay daily in every conversation, it just means going about your day with this awareness inside you that you are gay. That you are not operating in this world as “the default”. You are, just by existing, being gay. Your queerness is so much a part of you, that if you were a character in a book, your epithet would be “the gay one”. They are... openly gay.

But because they don’t announce they are gay daily, or even to every person they know, they are still closeted. The easiest example of this are people who are closeted at work. They don’t talk about their spouse. They might even actively choose not to mention it (I’ve done this even, because I worked in fucking fiber optics construction and could tell if I said shit, I would be tormented). But they have a family, they live their life as they want. They are “closeted”... but they live their lives VERY differently than someone who has no support.

And I think we should consider that this is the exact same situation. Harry and Louis are choosing not to talk about their spouse, or their personal life... at work. It’s only with us. Strangers.

Just like [...] a normal person chooses to be closeted at work, so too can a celebrity. And that’s not to diminish the fact that that kind of forced closeting happens. I actually have a pretty good idea of why it can be such a big misconception, that leads to this kind of thinking.

It’s because, I think we can all agree, that at one point Harry and Louis were forcibly closeted. They were two cute teenage kids who lived out the first six months of their courtship on reality television. And then immediately got thrust into their dream job - a wild fucking world of fame that they couldn’t even begin to fathom. They teased each other, they [revelled] in the taunting, and the play acting. Hell, they [possibly] even... sorta enjoyed the lying, thinking they were getting one over on everyone. And then that was quickly taken away from them.

They were forced to stop interacting with each other. They were forced to lie. We have pretty good evidence that Louis had to lie to his sisters, probably to his extended family. His friends. He needed people to believe he was with Eleanor, because anyone could leak a story about him, because he was so famous, and his management didn’t give a shit about protecting them yet, so they wouldn’t block stories that came up. Louis and, more than likely, Harry were at one point very close to the strict closet that the [general public] thinks of when you think of closeting. This was the reality of 2013 to 2015 One Direction.

That is not what it is now. And for a VERY long time in fandom, from 2011 until, hell 2019 or 2020 I want to say, the only other side of the closeted coin was a full reveal. Coming out to EVERYONE. Coming out to the public. And I do think that for a long while, definitely during One Direction, and maybe even through 2016, Harry and Louis wanted to “Come Out” to everyone. They wanted to give that part of themselves to the world. The Vogue photoshoot. The big interview. I think it was a very idolized time.

But that’s not reality anymore. They’ve changed. Society has changed. Parasocial relationships are a named thing now. The question of celebrity culture, and the right to musicians personal lives are coming up more and more. They are out to their family and friends. It’s very obvious Harry’s team knows he’s gay, same as Louis. And their families. People they work with, who know them, might pick up on things, might even see them with each other, but they aren’t being told outright.

Idk it’s just... when I think about people being entitled to someone’s closet, or assuming that being closeted speaks negatively about the person who is choosing to stay closeted, I think about the fact they are expecting someone to come out to STRANGERS. Do you know how terrifying that is?

Their families know. Their loved ones know. They own houses together. They vacation in Italy and Jamaica. They have a joint bank account, and one specifically for art. They probably smoke weed and make out with each other at social gatherings with their teams because they’re grossly [exhibitionistic], like... they are living the life.

Why isn’t that enough? Why do we - strangers - have to be invited?

Again, I fully admit that at one point in time Harry and Louis were closeted when they didn’t want to be, and told they couldn’t come out by people who had authority over them, and it was baked into “image clause” language in their contracts. Because they now both are “independent” (Harry has a distribution deal, and Louis is with BMG) there is a chance the “image clause” is no longer a thing that is stopping either of them from coming out. If that is the case they still could choose not to come out, and that would not change anything about who they are as people. It wouldn’t make them scared, or less, or anything but two gay people living gayly who don’t want to be out in at work.

TL;DR celebrities are humans who don’t have to tell the general public they are gay because the general public are strangers"

A Post on Being Closeted

I’ve had a few anons recently messaging me about their thoughts on when Harry and Louis might come out and that’s fine but something has been kinda churning in my stomach, making me a little off, and I finally figured out why. It’s the way closeting, and their decision to come out or not, is talked about. Things like “I thought they were too proud to stay closeted” or “I just don’t see them as the type who would want to stay closeted” and I just… I really, really need to hammer something home.

Keep reading

[talenlee]

Alt Text and Habituation

I’ve been trying to consistently put alt text on images here on my blog.

I don’t, if you’re curious. I mean I didn’t. I have, for basically two months now, been trying to comprehensively add alt text to things. If you go back to just November last year, I think you might find images just don’t have alt text.

A part of this was bad advice, from the actual system for adding alt text. If you check the media library for wordpress, it includes a note about alt text that says something to the effect of ‘if this image is not necessary for the article, don’t put alt text.’ And I thought that yeah, actually, largely, my images aren’t. That doesn’t excuse the times I show cards, or make the image the subject of the paragraph, and certainly not the times I just dump a graph in there, but the bad advice made me think by default I didn’t need to do it, so I wouldn’t do it.

The other thing was I just didn’t think of it. It was a habit I didn’t have. And honestly, there are a lot of habits that add a few seconds to things that you can think maybe are easy to do, but you had to build those habits. Using Mastodon regularly on kind.social and posting on cohost. My daily magic cards became part of it – I think it might have been a whole year of typing out alt text every day that got me in that habit. But I was only doing that because I had an image I wanted to post every day in the form of my custom magic posts, and those I could determine an alt text for them very easily.

That meant the habit got built a little at a time and a lot of the alt text I use now is stuff like ‘an icon of a thing.’ Sometimes I take to giving the vibe of an image. Sometimes I’ve tried making a joke.

Understand that with this habit came a lot of discouragement. The way people talk about alt text on mastodon makes me not post pictures there aside from the once-a-day custom magic card. The kind of people who get very mad about alt text and accessibility features enough to yell at me, a stranger, about it, are the kind of people I read once, then mute because I can’t address structural concerns while they yell at me about them and all I can do is my best. Haranguing strangers doesn’t help me build the habit. The environment is volatile, and honestly, kind of cruel about alt text. It’s not enough to post it, you have to do it right, and you can’t discuss its limitations or difficulties without being attacked.

Consider: If the only way to do alt text would be to go back through my blog of ten years and have to alt text everything as the first thing I did, it’d never happen. It just wouldn’t! There’s an enormous archive that doesn’t necessarily load reliably, it’s a huge pain in the ass and probably a full time job’s worth of work for some time to go do that, and with no practice at alt text, it’d probably look bad and be unhelpful. Taking the current (bad) situation and making it overwhelmingly hard to make it not much better is not helpful.

I want to build better habits, I want to do a better job of the things I do. I don’t avoid alt text because I want the internet to be a worse experience for people who use screen readers.

You build good habits a day at a time but part of that means that there’s got to be a version of the habit you can do every day.

It’s now been a month or two of dedicatedly doing it, and I’m writing about it now because one of the biggest hurdles in the whole process was alt-texting all 380+ cards for my daily Magic: The Gathering custom cards. This was a single huge task, but it was also a new task. It presented to me a puzzle, and I had to find a way to solve it that worked. I’m just going to list what I did, roughly, and show you what it took to get that project set up, and then what that led to.

That was not a small task! I’m glad I did it, I feel good about having done it, but wew lord it was not easy! And now, bonus, to complicate it further? If I want to edit a card – or worse a handful of cards – I have to delete that file, upload a new version, then go through and replace all the times that card gets referenced!

This is a big task, but doing it made all smaller permutations feel easier. Alt text feels easier to remember because hey: I don’t have to do that again.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[rentalboos]

Admitting you hated everybody when there are several people who care about you and are hoping your doing ok and have posts asking if your ok (from blogs you interacted with nearly daily) really goes to show how little you thought of the people who thought you were friends. It hurts knowing you never liked anybody that used to talk to you or was friendly to you.

Anon, I was being sarcastic, that's why I added the "that's why I spent 2 1/2 years of my life in that fandom" and the emoji! Sorry, I'm still getting used to using tone indicators, I guess that might've helped in this case.

Of course I liked plenty people in the fandom, otherwise I wouldn't have wasted my time there. I join fandom for connections and creating together and not much else.

Sadly, a lot of Persona 5 fandom was clout-chasing and elbow out mentality that went on behind the scenes and I did not care for and that did actively start making my last couple of months very miserable. I was not the only person suffering from that - there were several accounts I interacted with nearly daily, that were thinking of dropping out of the fandom as well for what shit went down behind people's fake smiles.

I don't hate everybody. I honest to God barely hate anybody. I can't give you perfectly rational reasoning either, all I can say is that when I deleted my Twitter, I felt relieved and I have waited for a while now for loneliness and sadness to kick in and it just doesn't. It's not about singular people, it's about wanting a clean break and to get out of a very bad dynamic, that dragged me down to the point where I was genuinely becoming depressed.

As for people wondering if I'm okay - I'm doing better than I have been in months, but I did not see what posts people might make about me because despite what other anon might imply, I am not checking Twitter at the moment. No one has reached out to me, no one has contacted me, all people have done is try to follow me here quietly. And no, I did not recognise any of them specifically, if I did, I would certainly not block every single one of them and consider them individually. I just saw them having Persona pfps and figured they're here because they expect Persona content that's not going to come.

I'm sorry you're sad about this. I the only thing I can give you, genuinely, is that I was having a shitty time and now I'm not and that's just a line I need to semi-enforce for my well-being right now. I mean you see the shit people throw at me after weeks of not even being present on their timelines and just vibing in my own little corner with Good Omens, Thoschei and Danganronpa lol At a certain follower count, people seem to think they're entitled to me and entitled to tell me how I get to behave, who I get to cut off and how I get to feel and that's just... sometimes too much even for our strongest soldiers.

[whatifsandspheres]

I lost one of the better analogies I had for my perception and views on love when my old tumblr got deleted. I don't remember the exact words. It was something about how much care and patience goes into tending a garden and growing one's own fruit. Funny now... I've been following lots of new gardening blogs and I've been seeing so many of these women saying things like "spent $1,500 to get this shitty little $0.63 pepper," and it's like... Wow. This trend people have been band-wagoning... It's... Wow. You don't get it. And I know some of it is sarcasm and self-deprecatory, but at the same time it's a bit arrogant and pompous. Because... You don't NEED to spend all that money if you're doing it for the right reasons. They probably aren't the type to even have considered guerilla gardening or using vacant lots. It's like a sort of status symbol or virtue signal. And it's not all of them, obviously, but it blends together, and it's a lot like what I criticized about the whole "love" thing. Shortcuts, wanting to just have the fruit ready to enjoy without having to put in any of the care and effort. I think it's a bit shallow and fickle. I'm surrounded by that. Every day. Attitudes like "you can just BUY that," should I want to grow my own food, or plant trees from seeds I collected myself from trees I remember and streets I walked on. The dipshit the neighbors let jump over my wall and bleed all over my house trespassed again a few months later and when I reminded him he had damaged my apple tree in his drunken stupor he just flicked his insecure masculinity through his wrists and dismissed it. My father also did when I asked him to observe the difference in pruning technique that I was taking to the butchering that the neighbors had damaged the trees in the park with. Hack and slash, slash and burn, back in the town my house is in in the tropics. Scoffing ad mocking that I even began to establish a food forest, all it would take is someone to flick their wrist and that would be gone too. So "love," for me? In this life? I can't imagine it. I won't settle for what's possible. You'd be insane to think it's enough. I want more than a consolation prize. I want more than breaking even. If I'm as much sheep as all these herds, then I'm a sheep that's seen a bit further outside the corral/fence and I can die at peace knowing how rare that is among the rest. Knowing that I didn't undervalue it or undersell it to "the best I could get under the circumstances." They're weak. They're puny. A dime a dozen. By choice. Daily choice after daily choice.

[pillowbugs]

"fellas, is it identity theft to write a first-person account of your IRL job?"

remember that ingo was known for doing detailed writeups about trains before the battle subway in this au. post-hiatus, one of the most common requests for a writeup was of course the battle subway. it only made sense - who better to explain it than its founder, who was already known for some of the best writeups in railfan circles? while he was reluctant at first, at risk of sounding like he was explicitly advertising his own services, he eventually caved and did a few on various aspects of the battle subway: the rolling stock, gear station, etc. part of the appeal was giving people a glimpse at what was going on behind the scenes, and fans of the battle subway and trains alike absolutely loved it.

one of this writeups was a look at an average day for those working on the battle subway. besides interviewing his employees (and giving them free rein over their statements with a written statement from him that there would not be any consequences from him or emmet for criticism), he also detailed his own job and experiences. of course, his own account was in first person because third person felt weird, considering that theoretically, everyone who would see his writeups already knew about his position so he had no reason to be pretentious about it. no one could foresee, however, how much this particular writeup would blow up. not only were people who followed his blog reading it, many, many other fans of the battle subway ended up seeing it as well (through searching for content about the battle subway presumably), which includes much of his fanbase from his position as a subway boss.

notably, he didn't even advertise the writeup on his official account. in fact, he has explicitly tried to distance his official account and his personal blog as much as possible in case he had a strong opinion that would go against the official line of the battle subway - he wouldn't be able to post it officially as an employee, but as a notable concerned railfan, it's fair game. this separation will come back to bite him in the ass.

so one day, a fan of subway boss ingo, let's call them sbnoirfan1234, found this wonderfully written writeup, by the passionate railfan Conductor I, who is using first person to depict a day in the life of a subway boss. this rather ruffled their feathers, for a certain reason, detailed in their angry comment:

"STOP RPING REAL PEOPLE. subway boss ingo is a REAL person with REAL thoughts. pretending to be him for the sake of clout is disrespectful and insulting and IDENTITY THEFT. delete this writeup now and APOLOGIZE."

of course, everyone else in the comments proceeded to clown on sbnoirfan1234, mostly with some variation of "do they know?". finally, ingo himself stepped in:

"If I might clarify, I am, in fact, the very same Subway Boss Ingo whom you are worried about my 'roleplaying' as. I am writing about my own experience, as myself, in my daily life. I appreciate the attempt to defend my honour, but don't worry, no harm was done to myself by writing this."

with an official response, one would think that the matter was over, and sbnoirfan1234 was appeased - nope, they doubled down.

"there is no way you are actually him. make a more believable lie next time."

"I believe there are videos of myself from years before the Battle Subway began operations over on my brother's blog here, with my face in full view. You may check - I am credited under this particular blog."

"those are absolutely FAKE. you're too friendly and loud to be him. subway boss ingo is SERIOUS and SOLEMN and PROFESSIONAL. unlike a clown like you who commits identity theft and doesn't apologize when called out."

most people absolutely roasted sbnoirfan1234 for sticking to their belief even in the face of a lot of irrefutable proof.

"ingo fan finds out he's not actually edgy, more at 11"

"who's going to tell them conductor was always friendly?"

"bruh literally go watch the battle subway interviews. ingo is actually quite enthusiastic in those. listen to him talk and try telling us truthfully that he is in any way solemn."

unfortunately, not only did sbnoirfan1234 insist their interpretation of events was correct, it got to the point where they rallied a few other subway boss fans to send harassing messages to the Conductor I blog, as well as other blogs he had worked with before, including emmet's.

in response, ingo made a statement, on his official account this time:

"This is not something I would usually post - on this account, that is. However, there have been multiple cases of harassment targeting my friends, my brother and especially myself over the last few days, regarding a post I made on a personal blog of mine. Why am I using this account to talk about this incident? Because I believe the people responsible only listen, if at all, to what I have to say on this one.

[...] First of all, harassment of others is never okay. No matter what reason they may have earned your ire for.

In this case, the initial harassment started over someone assuming my personal blog, Conductor I, was roleplaying as, well, myself. The dogpiling of the person who made that assumption was quite mean-spirited, and some of it verged into outright bullying, which is also wrong.

However, that person's response, being to send hateful messages not only to myself but also many people who were not involved to begin with, is completely unjustifiable. It attacked people who were completely innocent in the situation for no reason besides their association with me. It's wrong and hurtful. And for what? To fuel some twisted pleasure from watching people crumple?

[...] If there is one thing I hope people take away from this incident, it's that it is wrong to harass people. It has no use besides making people feel hurt. I shall say it simply and explicitly - don't harass people.

And, if there's another thing to take away, whatever people do in their private time is frankly no one's business so long as it doesn't hurt others."

in the end, there was a large outpouring of support for the harassed blogs, not least because a large portion of them were fairly famous with their own fanbases. sbnoirfan1234 deleted their account quietly, but still lived on as a meme within ingo's fanbase.

however, this didn't really solve any issues with the fanbase; instead, that sbnoirfan1234 was a subway-only who happened to be extremely loud about their ignorance caused a major backlash against the entire faction, further splitting fans of the conductor blog and the battle subway. those who fervently held that Conductor I was the 'true' ingo felt vindicated, and became more vocal and zealous, to the point of notoriety among the greater fanbase. it was a turning point for the fandom; not necessarily a good one, however.

idea: submas au(?) where pre-battle subway, both of them were already somewhat known on the internet, but for different reasons. maybe not super famous, but definitely notable in their various circles.

let's say emmet has a blog / vlog (iamemmet) where he and a couple friends (elesa, burgh, etc) just mess around and battle and stuff (think online / showdown battle videos on yt except they're actually irl). he does talk about trains sometimes, and is visibly excited whenever he does, but most of his fans are there to watch him battle more than anything.

meanwhile, ingo runs a train blog (Conductor I) where he posts long and detailed writeups of virtually anything to do with trains. he is known to be quite passionate, and has gotten into various extremely heated arguments with other railfans on internet forums over the merits of certain trains and railfan etiquette. maybe he collabs with other blogs covering other topics run by his friends (e.g. trains vs planes annual debate feat. highflyinggirl (skyla), starlight express review feat. spectralscribe (shauntal), etc). overall, though, he's fairly guarded regarding his personal life, and most of what people know about him, excluding his train-related opinions, is from whenever he collabs with other people.

they have collaborated with each other before, so people absolutely know they're twins. there is a running joke about how emmet's fans might actually know more about ingo than his own fans, simply because emmet is much more open with his personal life and inevitably that includes a lot of stuff involving his brother.

so one day, they both announce that they're taking an indefinite hiatus from their blogs because of a project. after almost a year of speculation - oh, look, there's a new battle facility in unova! wait, these guys look familiar... and it does happen to be a facility integrated into the subway...

so of course, their existing fans congratulate both of them on their new positions, everyone's celebrating. both of them do return to posting on their blogs after things have settled a bit more (albeit less frequently than before the hiatus, because they have a job now). however, with their newfound mainstream fame, comes a gigantic new wave of fans from the battle subway.

and this is where things get incredibly messy within the fandom. maybe less so on emmet's end - he's quite open on his blog about being a subway boss, and vice versa, and he acts more or less the same way on both accounts, so within his fanbase, the question is just "when did you find him?" because he's been the same throughout. he is emmet. that's it. though, there is of course still a bit of fan elitism from those who found him before the subway and know all the "deep lore" about him.

ingo's fanbase, however, is an absolute bloodbath. there are actual factions. the two most notorious are the subway-onlies, the ones who are most likely to be called fake fans by the rest because they're only interested in his persona as a subway boss; and the conductor purists, who only enjoy his blog and forum presence but not his irl job, and think he has gone downhill after achieving mainstream success. in fact, many of the subway-onlies don't even realise ingo has a 'personal' blog, or any social media presence besides his official account as a subway boss, while the most diehard conductor purists have disavowed the battle subway because in their minds, it's taking attention away from the blog.

a big reason for the divide is that ingo gives a very different image on his blog and as a subway boss; a passionate, friendly railfan who can be quite verbose especially in roasting people online, versus the professional, polite facility head with a serious demeanour. many fans who found him through the subway are surprised at the content of his blog, even if most of them also love seeing this side of him. a certain subset of the fandom is very insistent that the blog shows his 'real' personality, while his being a subway boss is entirely an act.

in short, big fanbase = problems. many people looking in are genuinely terrified and confused as to whatever the hell is going on in there. there is Drama. get the popcorn.