#i tend to have a problem with TV shows because they'll just be like
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 2 months ago
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s5 episode 6 thoughts
(wipes away tears) my tummy hurts
so, i broke my own rule, and watched these next 2 episodes back to back. like i mentioned before, in some ways i am very happy i did this, to experience the sadness all at once rather than dragging it out over 2 days. but now that i have to edit and post these, whew boy. it’s going to be draining.
i wonder how the actors felt about these plot points of constant sorrow? do you think it got draining after a while? do you think they too wanted a break?
anyway. let us go back to 3 hours ago, when i was more innocent, younger, freer.
so, last episode had its ups and downs, and the episode before that was near perfection. i know a little about what happens in this one, and i’m ready to be hurt.
(author’s note: she was not, in fact, ready to be hurt)
i shall refrain from any further comment, beyond the fact that i am reading the episode description… scully must be utterly shocked to think that her sister had a secret child!!!
oh, and it’s a christmas episode? which i think is a little early since i’m watching this in november, but i’m sure it made sense when it aired. i’ll have to mentally get myself festive.
anyway. let us begin. i’m excited. 
(author’s note: i should not have been excited)
the scully family is visiting someone! scully observes that this woman is huge. which is actually hilarious. queen of speaking her mind.
ohhhh it’s bill’s house, and bill’s wife tara who we are meeting!! scully is unsettled because it is the exact same layout as their childhood house on the naval base :( i bet that feels super weird, to be in a place exactly like your childhood home, but yet not it
oh no, maggie is really sad because she misses mr. scully and melissa :( scully seemed to want to talk about it, but her mother darted away
(these guys definitely subscribe to that john mulaney bit about being irish: "i'll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, i'll die")
now the phone is going off, and she wants bill to answer it. but it’s for her???? 
a mysterious voice: “she needs you, dana. go to her” (proceeds to hang up)
this answered no questions at all.
she uses her special FBI privileges to trace the call!! and bill takes her to where she needs to go. which is….?
a house?
there are a lot of cop cars and ambulances at this here house. AND WHO IS THIS RUDE MAN TALKING TO SCULLY???? (later revealed to be named detective kresge)
“no offense, scully fbi” “i’ve been here thirty minutes, guarantee you no one’s called out to you or anyone else” <- UM???? i will throw hands. disrespect her at your own risk.
he explains that the phone is off the hook which. okay. so yeah, that would make calling difficult. but you don’t have to be a dick about it.
oh……. i see what has happened here… mrs. roberta sim is dead, and it’s a suicide. 
(was actually pretty shocked at how they just. showed her in the tub like that. damn. it was a lot)
bill is freaked tf out. “what’s going on? they’re joking about you getting a call from a dead woman” <- woah woah woah who are these first responders who have time to MAKE FUN OF SCULLY WHILE ON A CASE!???? bill, i give you permission to sic ‘em. put all that rage to good use
OH MY GOD, SHE THOUGHT THE VOICE ON THE PHONE WAS MELISSA??? 
(spooooooky intro…………)
is she going to call mulder about this, or will this be a special scully alone christmas episode that makes me weep like a baby? let’s find out!!!!
she is back at the sim house with mr. sim and detective kresge, who says there was an outgoing call around the same time scully received that mysterious message, even though the phone was out. he claims it must have been some sort of glitch. hmm... suspicious.
she cannot stop staring at this little kid, though…
at family dinner, scully must excuse herself to make a phone call. she calls mulder!!! who is running in to pick up!!! did he just get out of the shower, or did he just come inside or something, because he has a funny hat on? anyway, she doesn’t say anything, just hangs up on him once she hears his voice. 
ohh :(
she must have been trying to see if the phone was really working... so she called the number she knew by heart and the person she knew would pick up... i will cry
back at the dinner table, bill’s wife tara's baby is kicking, and she’s talking about how she can’t wait to have more children. scully looks like she is being sucker punched.
i mean it hasn’t been addressed, but i’ve assumed that she’s come to the conclusion that kids are not really on the table for her after we found mulder with all of her eggs. which is still crazy, btw. has he just been holding onto them? or did he give them to her offscreen? 
tara says this line: “i can’t help but think that life before now was somehow… less” <- OKAY THAT WAS A RUDE THING TO SAY AND YOU’RE GONNA MAKE SCULLY CRY???? LOOK AT HOW SAD SHE IS???? what the HELL???
way to sit there and straight up tell your sister-in-law her life is a boring prelude until she has kids. which she cannot have. so her life is going to be, in your words, a prelude forever. because god forbid a woman have a life without a child. or if she wants one and cannot have one, her life will be unfulfilling. tara, i get that you're in a busy space mentally rn, you are sick in the head for that.
despite tara saying something so out of pocket that i would have simply left the table, scully pulls it together with smile, gets through dinner, and starts washing the dishes. because she is a trooper.
maggie comes in and asks what is the matter. and scully LIES and says "nothing". i don’t get the impression these two are big on talking about their emotions.
but she does that mom thing where she puts her hands on her hips and scully spills; she doesn’t even have to finish the sentence and her mom understands and is hugging her, saying she’s so sorry.
OH MY GOD, SHE’S CRYING??? and her voice is wavering and she tells her it’s okay but “i just never realized how much i wanted it until i couldn’t have it” <- OH MY GOD. i knew this was coming but it still hurts.
SCULLLLYYYY WHYYYYY. the way she says she is okay, when she so clearly isn't...
so she’s stuck sleeping in this room that is going to be a nursery, which just seems insanely cruel….. 
as she drifts off into sleep, we get a flashback of baby her with her brother, saying he’s going to cook her rabbit into a stew!! not very kind. now where did she put the rabbit? is it a real rabbit or a plush friend?
it seems he is in the basement. NOOOOO, it is a real baby bunny, and she put him in a lunchbox... he died and is filled with maggots!! NOOOO. oh poor baby scully just wanted to keep her rabbit friend safe.......... :(
i would guess that this is one of her earliest memories associated with death. and now we know that bill has always been mean.
this must be some sort of traumatic experience mixed with a nightmare because she is also seeing that little girl from earlier at the sim's house… just watching her in the basement, hunting for the rabbit…. but such a terrible nightmare is interrupted by a phone ringing 
it is her cellphone at 2:30 in the morning!!!! it’s the same voice as before saying "she needs your help"!! she asks the voice why she is calling her... but is met with silence
she goes to the sim's house and explains that yet again the call was traced to their house, which he claims to have no explanation for. and mr. sim tells her to get the fuck out basically, which i understand he has had a really terrible day, but it still feels cold :/ just slamming the door on her face like that 
creepy child is watching her leave…. ominously...
detective kresge is here, and scully wants everything he has on the roberta sim case. he says there is no case, it was just a simple suicide. she says please let me see whatever it is you have, for the sake of the season. which works on him, actually. i did not think it would.
ohhhh, that is going to be a photo of her wrists in the evidence pile. again, not really pulling any punches here.
detective kresge says that there was a domestic disturbance at the house the week before; it wasn't a very happy house. and roberta sim had some medicine in her system. scully finds a photo of the daughter in her purse, which she asks to borrow. which he probably thought was weird as hell.
it seems she is going to compare it with her own family photos. there are pictures of melissa in japan as a kid, and this emily child looks identical!!! 
now she is furiously typing into a computer, looking for birth records. she cannot find any records on emily because she was adopted. so she’s calling someone from work
oh... she needs the full information from her sister’s death :( 
another flashback?? or nightmare? hard to tell. little scully is walking down to a casket at church, seeing the blood from roberta sim dripping from it.
ah, must have been a nightmare. bill wakes her up. he asks her what she’s doing and she’s sneaking about saying there is some unfinished work she has. 
detective kresge is still being a dick as she goes and asks him for more help on this case. she thinks it was a murder!!! OHHHH she slams him over the head with the chair of facts and logic: how tf could the phone be off the hook if mr. sim called the police when he found her????? checkmate.
and she DEMANDS an autopsy. queen of getting things done.
well, she is going to do that autopsy herself. and she doesn’t find any evidence of pills in roberta sim's stomach!! this dude doing the autopsy with her is also being a dick. why is everyone so mean to scully all of the time? i have said it before and i will say it again: i can throw hands
she finds a needle puncture in roberta sim's foot!!! it was meant to be overlooked. ohohoh, something is afoot here.
so they go to mr. sim’s house and he starts yelling at scully right away, saying it is her fault that he is being investigated, and what do they find but a NEEDLE!!! he claims it is for daily anemia injections for his daughter. scully lets him know that they are going to check that claim out. 
there are people out front watching her????? when she sees them, they leave. ummm.....
so she sneaks back into bill’s place at night to find the reports she ordered on melissa and the mysterious daughter emily. and the DNA tests match up perfectly!!!!
maggie enters!!!! and she asks where she was all day!!!
she tells maggie to sit down… and explains how the two sets of DNA match. 
(very dramatic fade to black as scully tells her emily is melissa’s daughter)
she is now explaining to maggie that according to the tests they ran, there is a 60% chance that melissa is emily’s mother. and it lines up with the time that melissa was running up and down the coast, and no one knew where she was!!! maggie is shocked because she is sure melissa would have told her if she was having a baby. i can imagine that this is hard to hear.
maggie isn’t listening, however, and tries to explain that scully is still connected to melissa, which is why she is projecting this child upon her... ?????????????????
(i think she is trying to be supportive of scully's grief, but also writing her off as irrational, which feels like a slap in the face. girl... she did not hallucinate the gene testing out of sadness ???)
(i am 90% sure that scully is the only one in this family that actually goes to therapy. because the reactions of her family seem to indicate this)
a flashback scene to teenage years, where young scully and melissa are shaking presents before christmas, trying to figure out what they are. OHHHH IT’S HER FAMOUS NECKLACE…. and maggie, who catches them in the act of their crime, puts it around her neck, saying it means god is with you and watching over you. but then it turns into a vision of herself. oh poor scully and her terrible flashback nightmares :(
the detective is here to see her. they found huge bank deposits from mr. sim!!! one was deposited- from his wife- after she was dead!! and they’re all coming from a pharmaceutical company!!!! this is deeply suspicious…
emily is a patient at this clinic, where they were allegedly treating her for a rare type of anemia. key word: allegedly
oh this is really juicy. mrs. sim wanted to pull her from the trial, but the pharmaceutical company made payments to keep her involved. and this doctor- dr. calderon- says he gave that medicine they found in roberta sim's system not to emily, but for mr. sims, who said he was suffering from migraines!!!
mr. sim HATES to see them coming, and he is now under arrest for REAL.
scully takes emily and puts her into her carseat. and emily grabs her necklace!!! scully looks deeply amused. 
OH MY GOD, SHE GIVES HER THE NECKLACE???? she must be really convinced that is melissa’s baby for her to part with the necklace. it means she wants god to watch over her……… she is so sad as they drive away
bill is having a navy christmas party while scully sits there sadly. bill summons her to the kitchen. he wants to know what her deal is!! 
MAGGIE TOLD BILL ABOUT HOW SHE THINKS EMILY IS MELISSA’S BABY??? mrs. scully CANNOT keep a secret to save her life omfg....
“she called you from beyond the grave to tell you that? sounds like something that partner of yours would say” <- bill, you can count your days.
“it does not matter where that phone call came from. what matters is that there is a little girl who needs my help” <- YOU TELL HIM!! she must do the right thing, always and forever
“this isn’t about any little girl, dana. it’s about you. it’s about some… emptiness, some void inside yourself that you’re trying your hardest to fill” <- okay this is it. bill, i hated you before, but if i were her, i would go no contact at this moment 
(as i edit my notes, i am all the more shocked by his cruelty and his unending ability to somehow get more patronizing when you think he has reached his peak. just a nasty guy, this bill scully. "some void inside yourself" genuinely fuck off)
“bill, i don’t expect you to understand, but i am not going to stand her and justify my…”
(her telling him off was interrupted by a phone call)
OHHH, SIM CONFESSED TO THE MURDER!!! then why did the witnesses lie about seeing him at the doctor’s office??
she leaves bill’s dumbass party to go deal with this, but the men from before who were watching her are there at sim's jail cell too!!!!
she gets out of her car and runs after them, but you cannot outrun a car… detective kresge claims those men are his lawyers, and they had to have only visited him for 10 minutes tops
OH SHIT. mr. sim tried to hang himself!!!! or did he......
scully comes back “home” to bill’s house, and he runs into her, saying he was about to go over to the neighbor's house with some cookies. she tells him that mr. sim is dead, and whoever it was that did it also framed his death as a suicide. so she must be thinking it was those guys from the car who were watching her that did it, because they had just come in to talk to him. and perhaps that those same men were responsible for the "suicide" of mrs. sim.
bill says he has to show her something. what could he possibly have at this time?????
OHHH.... it’s a photo of melissa right before the child was allegedly born, and she does not look pregnant at all. scully points out that you can have a baby without being pregnant, but bill is not having it.
oh my GOD??? he says she’s making this child into melissa’s daughter to fulfill her need? and he claims to understand, but warns that she is only going to hurt herself??
scully is a better woman than me because i would have packed my shit and left right then and there. actually, i would have left a WHILE ago. holy hell. let’s all ignore the science that the doctor did, right? because scully’s just some cRaZy gRiEVinG wOmAN!1!!1! bill honestly could not be more patronizing if he tried. that baby of his is gonna have a terrible home life.
someone is here to see her from the county to talk about the adoption (later revealed to be named chambliss). scully put in an application for adoption!!! oh my god???
chambliss says that her application isn't looking good, because she’s single, unmarried, never been in a serious relationship (and what the fuck kinda impact is that going to have on her ability to raise a child??? is one parent's love not enough?? or are they worried about her dying and emily being an orphan or something??), and in a dangerous occupation (okay, that reason actually makes sense). they’re rejecting her, and she’s crying, saying she’s questioned her priorities since she got cancer
“ever since i was a child, i’ve never allowed myself to get too close to people. i’ve avoided emotional attachment” (yeah girl we can tell…)
“perhaps i’ve been so afraid of death and dying that any connection just seemed like a bad thing. something that wouldn’t last” stop. stop i’ll cry. you love something so much and it dies anyway. like that bunny in the lunchbox.
“but i don’t feel that anymore” tears. in my eyes.
ohhhh my gosh, chambliss points out that emily would need constant supervision, that her condition is incurable, and while scully may have experience with terrible illness, she would have to relive it through the eyes of a child. and scully says she thinks she’s ready. chambliss says they’ll review her final application, and they shake hands, saying merry christmas.
so would she just??? leave the FBI?? to raise emily?? is that even possible at this point in time? or would she stay in the FBI and have to hire like the highest quality daycare of all time? i feel so bad for scully, but i don't see how this could work...
scully sits down, and is taken back to a chat with melissa years ago, before leaving for quantico. her dad is telling her that she is making a mistake, but melissa reminds her it’s not his life.
(god, her dad was mean too)
“but you know, when i started med school, it felt so right. it just seemed like that’s where i was supposed to be, and… then, by the time i graduated, i just knew it was wrong. but now the FBI feels right, and… what if that’s wrong, too?”
(and we can, and SHOULD, analyze this to hell and back. but right now i am tapped into the plot, so this might be something i come back to and write a thinkpiece on)
melissa says “there is no right or wrong. life is just a path. you follow your heart and it’ll take you where you’re supposed to go”
scully replies: “i don’t believe in fate. i think we have to choose our own path”
“well, just don’t mistake the path for what’s really important in life”
“which is what?” 
“the people you’re going to meet along the way. you don’t know who you’re going to meet when you join the FBI. you don’t know how your life is going to change…. or how you are going to change the life of others”
oh melissa... how i miss you... and she didn't know who she would meet...
ohhhh, tara wakes her up the next morning :( and it’s christmas :(
but before they can open presents, someone from the FBI is at the door with something for scully……
bill tries to sign for it and the FBI courier says no, we need dana. lmao. put him in his place.
so she opens the file and...
AND SHE TELLS THEM THAT IT SAYS SHE IS EMILY’S MOTHER????
(to be continued)
(punches wall)
okay, so i regret the words i typed earlier about me being excited for these next two episodes. WHYYYY??? why was i excited for this!!! i was a simple FOOL. i knew what was coming. and i know what is to happen next!!!
i am going to be SICK!!!! considering breaking my own rule and watching the next episode right now….. oh my gosh. wait. wait. let me try and get some more of my own thoughts out first, so that if i do go and do that, i can make them coherent….
fuck. all of them were so mean to her and she was RIGHT. everyone needs to STOP BEING MEAN TO HER. bill, i HATE YOU. maggie, you at least tried, but you SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED HER. 
man. man i cannot sit on this like i usually do. apologies, but i must continue at ONCE.
her grief………
it has been 12 hours since i watched this episode and i have somewhat gathered my thoughts. scully just feels this constant need to do the right thing, even if she doesn't know how to do it. i'm just shocked at how she was willing to drop everything and adopt this girl she thought was born to her sister, and i am shocked by the fact she remains civil with her family when they treat her like a fool. scully is by far a better person than me. but at the same time, i'm not *that* shocked, because we have always known how intense her moral compass is.
so, it was an episode where it was just scully. and while i am always deeply thankful for such an episode, it usually does come with some intense pain.
i literally cannot imagine how she must have felt hearing that she has a child she never knew about. i mean, emily was 3!! that is 3 years she was out in the world and scully had no idea!! and to have her autonomy taken from her entirely... i just cannot wrap my brain around it.
while this episode was very good, i do not think it is one i would rewatch anytime soon for sheer levels of emotion. and boy, i did in fact go ahead and watch the next one right after, something i had vowed to NEVER do, but here we are... i hope to get both of these writeups posted today so i can experience all the emotions in one weekend and then release them into the wind. except, of course, i am sure they will haunt me forever.
(melissa's love coming from beyond the grave to give her those phone calls... the ghost of christmas past... her paranormal experience leading her to family... wahhhhh)
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eddiegettingshot · 27 days ago
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now im curious, as someone who ships them what are things you think they'd need to overcome?
so i don't have anything that i think for sure they'll have to deal with because i simply do not know what is happening. but i can think of some potential stories + facets of Them that could be the underlying cause of strife in their dynamic. this is so long sorry in advance
classic workplace relationship stuff. like ok they practically have to do secret relationship hijinks which is Funny. however maybe they're keeping it a secret to avoid one of them having to transfer (as much as i love fujo bobby). alternatively maybe fujo bobby lets them stay together but after they get together their easy acceptance of the risks they take doesn't feel so easy anymore. i actually think it would be CRAZYYYY good if they turned the classic assumption on its head and it's BUCK who's anxious about things happening to eddie (given their history and the way buck has responded in the past this makes sense 2 me but whatever the specifics don't matter). omg maybe one of them passes on some kind of promotion or opportunity without talking about it because whatever bathena is made of buddie is the same idk. maybe their relationship just gets in the way of them doing their job somehow in ways i cannot currently envision.
obviouslyyyyy chris is something they'll have to think about. and parenting in general. theoretically chris could respond badly to them dating but that would be lame. i'm way more interested in seeing them try to navigate defining buck's role in chris's life and having inevitable problems rise out of that despite all three of them feeling positively about the change. buck has been a father figure for most of chris's life but he does not actually parent him. chris's abandonment issues are tied pretty specifically to shannon leaving him and his dad ... how do buck and eddie get through buck and CHRIS having actual issues for the first time possibly ever??? is buck even confident about taking on the actual parent role? is eddie actually ready for his family dynamic (which has been him and chris against the world for like, a decade) to change in a formal way? it's easy when they're best friends but that's because eddie doesn't see them as a real family unit, which comes with certain obligations and expectations. he's not thinking about those right now but he tends to struggle a lot and over-correct when he does have to take them into account and i don't think buck would know what to do with that, especially given his. ummm. insecurities.
kind of in the same vein but like they will have to think about the future. at some point. i get the sense that neither of them have thought about what they want (ACTUALLY want) their lives to look like in a concrete way beyond just "i am happy and loved and not dead and chris is happy" for a myriad of reasons. kind of in the same vein as above—do they want more kids? me personally i am enamored by the idea that. well eddie loves being a father. buck loves children but he has never thought of himself as a father or gotten close to being one. i would LOVEEEE to see him grapple with anxiety over this now that he's with someone he might actually have kids with. marriage? eddie has a lot of hangups around his being a bad husband. this is actually the thing he was worried about when shannon told him she was pregnant—he didn't know if he could be a good husband. is that something he's dealt with? buck knows eddie's baggage around this is complicated and he's also very aware of his own impulsive history. this show is basically fanfiction so i can see them wondering in turn if their relationship is going at the Correct Pace and hitting the Correct Milestones but not like. talking about it. careers? with the caveat that this is tv so they play fast and loose with policy. if they want to keep working together they may need to forego promotion. alternatively what if one of them gets a job offer elsewhere (that they obviously won't take because neither of them will ever leave LA) ... are they willing to make that move? etc. etc.
their families may have opinions. about their relationship. which hasn't been an issue thus far for either of them but well they are soulmates so the evil buckleys and evil diazes have the potential to cause problems in some way. (pretty much all the other couples have had in-law issues or non-issues at some point soooooo).
in general, both buck and eddie let their own wants take the backseat and are not particularly forthcoming communicators (although they're better about it with each other than they are in their actual relationships and i imagine they will continue to be way better about it). buck tends to be a passive people-pleasing partner, and eddie is far more decisive and willing to steer a relationship—it's just that he doesn't tend to operate off of his actual desires, just his fabricated internal compass. i think it would be interesting if they bumped up against each other in this way somehow because being together has caused a blind spot to develop where they used to be able to read and evaluate each other with a lot of clarity BUT because it's Them and they know each other they can actually work through it... whatever it is... and GROW. i just think that given that these tendencies are pretty much what led to the failure of all their other relationships it would be good to address them and show. that they are not only soulmates but working to build something that lasts.
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chaoticbug · 21 days ago
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when I say the 911 fandom has a misogyny problem I mean it to say its very telling how fans of this show will blame every problem with it on women.
The amount of blame Kristen Reidel gets for "leading to the show getting cancelled" when in reality 911 was the number one show on FOX and the network just didn't want to pay for it because it's expensive to produce. That's why ABC bought the show, because it was still a hit and they were willing to spend the money that FOX wasn't (Also in my person opinion, seasons 5-6 were way more cohesive as seasons of TV than season 7 and 8 so far. )
Just because a female show runner makes a decision you don't personally like doesn't mean "she ruined the show" (especially when she is responsible for a lot of the things you love about the show (Like Ravi actually having plot relevance and getting fleshed out as a character, Henren begins among other things) but don't want to give her credit for those plot points)
Or the fact that anytime someone brings up Ryan Guzman's history of racism and antisemitism people blame it on his ex wife. I don't know how to tell you this, but grown men can make their own decisions. Yeah his ex wife also may be a terrible person but that doesn't make Ryan Guzman any less culpable for insisting it's ok to say slurs and comparing vaccines to the holocaust. He said those things! It is not "his wife's fault" that he said racist things. Be serious, let him take accountability instead of brushing it off and blaming it on women. Him getting divorced doesn't mean his actions don't have an impact anymore
And let's not forget that women in this show are never treated with any depth and are always seen as evil or a mother in this fandom. Some people in this fandom can't spare any nuance for the female characters. They'll blame Maddie for Buck's abandonment issues and issues in childhood, ignoring that she was a victim too, and then creates hundreds of Maddie Bashing fics. All female love interests are interpreted to be incredibly evil for simply just existing and their existence is "ruining the show." When people criticize the Buckley or the Diaz parents they tend to only blame the Margaret or Helena and say that Phillip and Ramon are just "going along with it" and again being treated as the victim of their wives instead of grown ass men with agency.
(and then of course if a woman isn't being perceived as "pure evil" she is being treated as only a mother/caregiver to the male characters which is what I see constantly with fandom descriptions of Maddie/Athena/Hen. If Hen is lucky she also gets to be seen as a gaydar and nothing more, forgetting all the really interesting aspects of all three of these female characters in order to cater them to men)
This fandom will bend over backwards to blame women sometimes and it drives me nuts
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Can I ask from this ask game for Sherliam or Hualian (all of the questions)? Thanks 🧁
https://www.tumblr.com/comingfromastatechampionasshole/119898100247?source=share
I have the strongest feeling that I did this or a very similar ask game pretty recently with the same ships but I can't be bothered to go looking for it so let's do this! And I'll do both ships because these things are fun haha 😊
Sherliam:
1. Which one is the better cook - Sherlock
2. What their love letters look like - Sappy af.
3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope - They live to be 98. Sherlock dies like three days before Liam.
4. What they do on date night - Liam sets up elaborate puzzles and codes and schemes for Sherlock to unravel. Sometimes this can take days. "Date night" is whenever he figures it out and then they have sex about it.
5. How many kids they'll have - None, they're just really cool uncles to the Watsons' kids and assorted street children etc
6. How they decorated their bedroom - The decor itself is just simple and cozy: warm carpet and dark-coloured wallpaper and heavy curtains so it's a nice place to sleep. Sherlock's nightstand is a cluttery disaster and Liam's just has a book or two neatly arranged.
7 Which one is the worse driver - Sherlock
8. What they argue about - Sherlock's drug habit
9. Which one swears more - Sherlock generally, Liam in bed
10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other - Oh I've definitely done this before, haven't I? I wonder how similar my answer now will be to my last one. 😅 They watch crime shows and documentaries together. Liam hides how much he likes romcoms and Sherlock hides how much he likes trashy reality tv.
11. What their first impression was of each other - we have this canonically
12. What they do for their anniversary - see date night but even more elaborate and involving travel throughout the US or continental Europe depending on during/post timeskip
13. Which makes a bigger deal of birthdays - They both make a big deal of the other's birthday and pretend not to like fuss being made over their own
14. What nicknames they call each other - We also have this canonically lol
15. What they would change about each other - only the ways they tend to hurt themselves whether physically (Sherlock's drugs etc) or emotionally (William's self-hatred and self-sacrificing). They're both getting better.
Hualian:
1. Which one is the better cook - Objectively Hua Cheng, subjectively Xie Lian because they both have so much fun when he cooks
2. What their love letters look like - they just chat in the array when they're apart, but Xie Lian does like to leave Hua Cheng little notes when he has to leave and Hua Cheng leaves Xie Lian extremely artistic doodles
3. Which one outlives the other, and how they cope - They live happily together until the heat death of the universe
4. What they do on date night - every night is date night with these two but sometimes they do go into Ghost City and eat at a restaurant (menu carefully vetted by Hua Cheng) and then snuggle up and chat for hours
5. How many kids they'll have - either none or like twelve lmao
6. How they decorated their bedroom - Puqi Shrine and the hut on Mount Taicang are just humble but comfortable. The bedroom is Paradise Manor was initially done how Hua Cheng assumed Xie Lian would like it: a lot of white and gold and light. But over time and with multiple affectionate squabbles it's become more blended. It's turned into something of a home decor disaster, but it's comfortable and theirs.
7 Which one is the worse driver - Xie Lian
8. What they argue about - canonically, Xie Lian's habit of solving problems through self-sacrifice/self-harm
9. Which one swears more - Xie Lian lol
10. What TV shows they watch together, and which ones they hide from the other - They watch martial arts movies together. Xie Lian is secretly obsessed with Hell's Kitchen and Hua Cheng watches a lot of musicals.
11. What their first impression was of each other - Again, we have this canonically. I do like how comparatively little of an impression Hong-er initially made on Xie Lian. It feels both realistic and appropriate that a teenager's reaction to a small child would essentially be "Oh whew, glad I saved that kid! Anyway!"
12. What they do for their anniversary - They go somewhere away from everyone else, probably Mount Taicang, and spend a few days just utterly wrapped up in each other, making love and talking and cooking together and doing all the little chores of the place in absolute domestic bliss. Which is not far off from their usual day-to-day
13. Which makes a bigger deal of birthdays - they're tied
14. What nicknames they call each other - we have this canonically
15. What they would change about each other - Xie Lian would make Hua Cheng understand how beautiful and loved he is, and Hua Cheng would completely erase Xie Lian's impulse to throw himself in harm's way
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bonny-kookoo · 2 years ago
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Jungkook: Love-Bites (1)
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In which the relationship between you and Jungkook is just something special.
Tags/Warnings: Dog Hybrid!Reader x Idol!Jungkook, DDLG themes, sub/little headspace, soft dom!Jungkook, fluff, minor angst, established relationship, based off of this ask
Chapter length: short
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You're dead asleep with your head on his thigh, arm held hostage as your personal cuddle buddy while the rest of himself sits comfortably, watching his TV show. It's in moments like these, after having bathed with you before dressing you in your comfiest pajamas, that he tends to remember how far you've come since he's taken you in.
Because years before, a scene like that was something he himself thought might never happen.
In the beginning, he'd worried a lot about you. He could see that you were interested in everything around you; everything in his apartment seemed interesting, and most of all, you seemed to want to interact with him and be close all the time. But due to what happened in your past home, you always only sat somewhere secluded, trembling with the inner fight of whether or not to do what your brain told you, or listen to what your past had taught you.
And for a long time, you would rather let your memories lead than him, trust misused to such a degree that you couldn't find it in yourself to give him any of what was left of it.
But he'd been kind, understanding, patient. He showed you that the world never had to be scary, no matter what headspace you're in. He'd proven to you that there's nothing wrong with you, that there's nothing to fix.
He'd created an environment for you to heal in.
Jungkook remembers your first meeting vividly. He'd sat in the waiting area of the ER for info on his bandmate Jin's accidentally broken finger when he first met you. You'd been hiding underneath the seats, and your caretaker had explained to him that you're simply a 'troubled case' with an embarrassed face.
"Isn't there a way to make it easier for her?" He'd asked, looked around for someone he could maybe talk to. "Maybe bring her into a more secluded area? She looks so terrified.." He'd mumbled, unable to look away from where you'd squeezed underneath the chairs. Jungkook had always been someone with a different view on hybrids- he never understood why they had to be treated as 'lesser'or plain weird monsters, when they themselves were created by humanity in the first place.
"Its fine, really!" The caretaker had said. "She'll stay here overnight anyways."
"May I ask why?" He'd wondered, noticing with a smile how you seemed to now crawl closer to him, interested- but still scared. With a clear gaze that told the caretaker that she should just talk to him and not scold you, he'd let his hand lean down for you to maybe inspect- his suspicions correct, as you take it as an invitation to get to know him on your own terms.
"Oh, behavioral problems. She seems to have trouble sleeping, but since she doesn't talk, we don't know if it's a brain issue or just trauma." The caretaker explained, surprised how easily Jungkook had managed to get you interested and distracted from your initial fears.
"Oh my, let's hope they'll figure it out." He nodded, before looking down to where you had started to look up at him. "Isn't that right? You should only have good dreams. Sleep is important." He explained, not even sure if you were able to understand him. But it seemed like you did, because while you didn't come out of your hiding space yet, you did keep your gaze on him mostly. "I'm gonna get something to snack on. Is there something I could bring you two?" He wondered, and the caretaker waved him off before leaning down to you.
"Would you like anything?" She asked, not expecting an answer, and you didn't give one. "Maybe you can walk with him, show him what you'd like?" She tested, and much to her surprise, you actually dud seem to consider it, looking at Jungkook's back then bare hand, no ink yet to be seen on his skin. With a smile he'd reached out-
And you'd taken his hand, letting him lead you to the vending machines, later on eating the granola bar sat on his thigh. It had all just somehow immediate felt natural to the both of you- as if you'd known each other already.
It wasn't surprising to anyone that Jungkook eagerly asked for contact information of the care center you had been staying at, uncaring for any consequences of the company or his career, only focused on you. He remembers the scolding he'd received from all sides, many scared he'd rushed a decision he's gonna regret in the future, others worried for the fate of his career if it was ever revealed that you even existed. And yet, he didn't back down. He knew what he wanted, and for the first time, he pushed through. This had been his decision, and he had been ready for the consequences.
And by now, he knows you're his soulmate.
You stretch in your sleep and turn a little, body and face relaxed as you dream softly- or maybe not at all. He enjoys watching you like this. Calm, comfortable, without worry. As it should always be.
Because with him, you don't have to fear anything. With him, you'll be safe.
He promised, after all.
And he intends on keeping that promise.
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hood-ex · 1 year ago
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How did you like mutant mayhem? who was your fav
Loved it!! I had SO much fun watching it!!
The turtles getting their groceries from shipping containers/trucks?? Brilliant! Love that take!
I was pressed when I read that Leo was going to have a crush on April, but I actually didn't mind it in this case. (Even though I 100% prefer for them to just be best friend's/family and would never want to see April with any of them). Like Leo being such a nerd made it work plus April didn't show any interest in him, so it didn't bug me like I thought it would. Now if they try to turn that into something in the future then we're gonna have a problem, but it being a one-sided thing that Leo will hopefully grow out of (quickly!) is fine.
Speaking of April, I LOVE this version of April, and I love how they switched up the reporter thing a bit with her being super anxious to be on air bc it made way for some character progression. I do tend to prefer her being quite a bit older than the turtles, but I feel like her being a teen like them works in this universe.
Also, I love it when Leo is characterized as a nerd who says cringey/nerdy things sometimes and they delivered on that beautifully here with his speeches. It's veryyy 2k12 Leo vibes. Fucking loved it. Especially loved it when Leo actually had an amazing rousing speech during the Superfly fight scene and then after Raph complimented him on it, Leo started geeking out about how cool he sounded LOL. Obsessed.
"GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO!" I started screaming when this started playing!! Secret of the Ooze reference let's gooo!
The milking... THE MILKING... the nipples and the milking!! Mikey and Raph got milked!! That running joke killed me. Also, since Mikey got milked first, I couldn't help but compare that to 2k3 when Bishop was going to use a saw to cut into Mikey's carapace while all the other bros had to watch. Althouuugh... ngl, I kinda wish Raph had gone a little more berserk over Mikey getting milked since he's so protective, but I understand they were trying to keep the mood light even though... it was... a torture scene... so uhhh... anyway.
"6 N' THE MORNIN' POLICE AT MY DOOR!!" 😂
"He's molly-whopping me!" LMFAO I was wheezing
All the bros singing BTS for Donnie's sake, and Donnie being like, "You guys don't even know the words..." HAAA
I love it in every iteration when Splinter gets involved to save his boys and this time was no different. Hell yeah feral rat dad!!
Mikey and Mondo Gecko, hell yes!! Bro, when the explosion rocked all the turtles and Mikey was disoriented?? The way his eyes looked after that?? Yeees!
THEIR SHELLS CRACKED 😱😱😱!! That "I'm gonna crack you like pistachios" joke killed me though
WHEN THE NEW YORKERS STARTED HELPING THEM TAKE DOWN SUPERFLY YESSSS LET'S GOOOO!!
Mikey or whoever telling Raph he needed therapy ALSKDJA
All the mutants living in the sewers with the turtles?? Full House vibes!! With Bebop and Rocksteady there idk kinda weird but I guess it works for this version of them.
I could not with their high school fits like 😭 April please take them shopping 😭
All in all, I thought it was super fun and I couldn't stop laughing the entire time. There was still kiiinda more of a Leo focus this time around, but it wasn't nearly as much as the Rise movie, so I'm glad it felt more balanced between each brother (and thank god we didn't have to sit through another Leo vs. Raph type of beef thing).
I think in terms of characterization, Leo was definitely characterized the best and felt IC. I feel like there could've been a bit more development for Donnie, Raph, and Mikey. Donnie had his anime/kpop thing, Raph had his love for violence, and then Mikey... there wasn't anything super defining about him other than maybe the fact that he signed up for the improv team try outs. But honestly, I'm not that mad at it because I'm sure they'll get more fleshed out in the TV show that's coming in the future. Now that they're attending school, I do kinda hope that Donnie takes some kinda robotics/woodworking/science classes because I'd love to see him develop the skills he's always depicted with.
As for my fav, I mean, it should be noted that Mikey is always my guy and that I'm usually going to focus on him the most in every scene, but other than him, I'd say Leo. I also really enjoyed April, Splinter, and Superfly though.
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hotchs-big-hands · 1 year ago
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Today turned out to be Pretty Bad™ stuck down very awful bad memory lane and I just wanna clarify to ppl why I may not always answer dms/asks etc. I've only really told one person on here the big details about this, and I won't go into all the details here either but it'll be enough to explain why. I hope anyway. Idk why I'm doing this.
I'll give a quick tl;dr here because it is long and also goes into very triggering topics such as self harm/suicide.
Basically I used to have a very close best friend, who I'll call shithead, back in early 2018 until late 2022 who extremely manipulative, emotionally abusive and just very overall toxic. If you've ever seen me refer to a "shithead" in tags or whatever then its about the person imma talk abt here. I was essentially the person they turned to to talk them out of doing things to themselves, if you get me. As well as a lot of other stuff. Ended up getting therapy (but not for the right reasons tbh) and also got a bad coping mechanism where I tend to not talk to people, I keep my distance and its smth I wanna tackle but it's difficult. So if you haven't heard back from me it's not cuz I don't like you, I am fighting with my brain. Also I kinda question if I actually am a good person or not because of stuff that I did in retaliation to this person.
I'll get into details now under the cut but yeah don't read if self harm/suicide/toxic dynamics are something you don't want to hear about for whatever reason.
As above, in early 2018 I used to have a different fanfic blog for a different fandom. I won't go into detail about which fandom and what the blog was but it was fairly popular. This is how I came to be friends with them. And like at the beginning it was fucking great! We became fast friends and we had a lot of shared interests. They introduced me to a lot of games, TV shows etc. But that's also where the problems started.
They were one of those types of fans. The "very possessive over certain characters" type of fan. If they liked them and had a crush on them then you couldn't do the same cuz character belonged to them. Which at the time I didn't rly like but I used to be friends with someone in high school who was also like that about characters so I assumed it was just a thing ppl did. However, it escalated to if I had a character I liked then they'd for some reason not like them and in fact hated them. This was kinda draining cuz they never wanted to talk abt stuff I liked, without actually directly saying so. They'd just shit talk them the whole time or say they hate them. So I stopped talking about what I liked. Later, they'd suddenly really like said media or characters and only then was it fine to talk about them. But in turn they'd be possessive and if I said oh okay I'll step back from them they would make me feel like I was being stupid because "no they didn't say I couldn't like them".
Anyway thats not rly the worst of it of course, the actual bad stuff is now so again, final warning for self harm/suicide. Will square off the triggering sections.
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They struggled with their mental health a lot. Like a lot. I'd be there for them to listen, offer help and support because I like to take care of ppl and make sure they'll be okay. Except it escalated to them using me to talk them out of harming themself and killing themself. And this was almost everyday/night. And need I just say they were an hour ahead of me as well btw. I went to university in 2019 originally and by December I was completely burnt out because I spent every day and night making sure they didn't fucking do anything to themself. I got at most 2-3 hours of sleep a night if I was lucky and I stopped doing my hobbies and uni work because I just had no drive to do them anymore. It was clear I was also suffering mentally. I was suicidal and thinking of harming myself as well (and unfortunately I did do so a couple times). But I prioritised them. Everything was triggering for them, and I mean that. I had a long list pinned to my wall of everything I was to avoid mentioning because it would trigger them.
They never took care about my own mental health btw, which I'm not saying they HAD to but I know it was because they just didn't care. And they said as much too. They said because they are autistic they have no empathy and therefore do not feel anything about my mental health. So I suffered basically alone.
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I dropped out of uni in early 2020 and in fact went home the weekend lockdown began in the UK. Things were not good. I was still trying to be support for shithead, I went to therapy and started medication for the wrong reasons. I wanted to get better so I could take care of them. Which like. Never do that. Never go to therapy so you can be someone else's therapist. Go to therapy because YOU want to be better for YOURSELF.
We were in in a bigger friendship group spread across a few discord servers and they all broke down one way or another. One instance there was an argument between shithead and a bunch of others who were comparing who had it worse during ww2. The others were Americans but were also of Jewish heritage with family who were affected by the holocaust and shithead lives in a country near where the holocaust happened with relatives who went through a famine. Either way it was just not gonna be a good conversation. Shithead left, I stayed and like I already don't rly talk to people much in groups because its overwhelming but I did do a little bit. Someone who was friends with shithead and still in the server told shithead I was talking to the others and in turn I basically betrayed shithead. Hindsight I wish I had just left the server ages before and like maybe j shouldn't have talked to the others idk. I regret it either way and think abt it a lot.
Another few shitty things I did in response to how shithead would treat me is giving them the silent treatment, giving short answers etc. I wanted them to feel bad, but it would round back to me being told I'm a coward and horrible to them. Which maybe I was but frankly I was scared of them.
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Things began to rly break down when they showed me their fresh self harm wounds, blood and all, because they were "bored". I didn't talk to them for a few days and their apology wasn't much of an apology, more just making excuses again (aka I have autism so it's not my fault). I started talking less and less because by this point my brain had had enough ig and began to close off from them and just ppl in general.
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In 2022 I finally returned to university and thats also when I finally stopped talking to them. A few months ago I finally blocked them on everything. However, I still struggle with communication and don't rly do it much. It's difficult to maintain friendships and I don't trust easily. I plan on going back to therapy whenever i can because this is just unresolved. But yeah idk I'm sorry to everyone who I haven't responded to, or take a long time to respond to.
One thing that is good tho is that like, after shithead I didn't enjoy anything. I didn't rly watch or hyperfixate on anything. But last year around this time I came across an Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader fic and I've been obsessed with him since!! And now here we are, got a blog and everything for a fandom finally after so long :) so it's not all bad.
But yeah that's why I struggle keeping up with messages and asks. Idk if anyone is gonna read this but if you've read this far then thank you and you mean a lot. Big hugs to yawl and I hope yawl have a lovely day, and if not then please take it easy 💖💖💖💖
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hfjonewiki · 13 days ago
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i'd like to ask in genuine curiosity about how you felt bot's writing was performative? it's been a hot minute since i've seen season 3 but i enjoyed how they were written (as a trans person seeing my experiences in theirs), i want to know what your thoughts are on it
i don't even know if it's a problem with bot specifically or just a symptom of the show's tendency to be very heavy-handed with what it's trying to convey (because hooo boy does it struggle with that), but something about how bot's story is an ALLEGORY for the trans experience while also being incredibly un-subtle with what it's supposed to represent really bothers me. their arc focuses on them wanting to be someone other than a bow homunculus, while the writers beat you over the head with the fact that THIS IS SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT BEING TRANSGENDER. THIS IS AN ALLEGORY FOR THE TRANSGENDER EXPERIENCE. like. you can just make them transgender? they already qualify, given that they were built with a female body but chose to identify as nonbinary. you don't need to hide it behind Metaphor. did all of the actual tv cartoon work the boys have done cause them to subconsciously try and make the show censor-friendly. i also know the show (and especially s3) tends to skew younger so it might've been written that way for the benefit of the Youngin's as an introduction to the concept, but eughhh. something about their entire arc just feels like a desperate attempt to win a "you did good trans representation" badge instead of being written out of an actual desire to depict what being transgender is like. maybe they just felt guilty over how they handled paintbrush pre-alternate reality show and wanted to play it as safe as possible. i'm probably just being pessimistic though, and if bot made any other trans viewers felt seen, i'm happy for them :^)
also it's kind of fucked up how they kind of glossed over that bot was built to replace a dead person. like, they're way too chill about that. they could've shown them grappling with the guilt that would come with defecting from a purpose like that instead of staying the way they were for everyone else's benefit, but they don't. maybe they'll explore that in s4 or whatever comes next, but for now it feels like a major missed opportunity in favor of the world's least subtle transgender allegory.
anyways bot inanimate insanity vs mizuki project sekai. whos winning the "worst fumble of an actual attempt at good trans rep" off
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alarrytale · 8 months ago
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Hi, so I'm not saying that heterosexuality doesn't sell. It's proven that with TS and Harry etc. But I do think the industry is a bit out of touch with what young people want. I'm a teacher and there are still young people who are attracted to heartthrobs but it's not the default anymore, like it used to be back in the day with boybands and mass hysteria. There are more young people now who are looking for interesting artists/actors who challenge gender norms and social norms, and they tend to be queer artists. Queer artists are seen as more desirable than straight artists, they're more interesting! That's why we get queerbaiting now. When an artist CO there will be people who will immediately support them because they want to support minorities like queer artists. Young people are also becoming more progressive and want to support progressive artists. So yes there is still demand for heartthrobs but there is so much demand for interesting artists. Male hearthrobs are often closeted and they have zero personality because they're a blank slate for women to project on. But they're also so boring!!!! They would be so much more interesting if they could CO and be themselves, but I get that it's easier said than done. The only thing is that I don't know how gay men will fare. Sexually fluid and bisexual men can be very desirable to young women as they're more interesting than straight men but a gay man will put an end to their fantasies so I'm not sure about that. But there are also straight women who love gay men. They love these gay tv shows. So I don't know what the answer is here. Ideally it would be better if the industry brought in some straight young men to target women instead of closeted gay men. When Harry stunted with Olivia he gained lots of older women as fans as they think that he's interested in 'milfs'. Do you think that will make it harder to come out? Because as a whole, older women aren't usually as progressive as younger women. They might not take it so well.
Hi, anon!
I think an audience responds well to someone who's authentically themselves, and like you say, have a personality and are desireable. If you're interesting, rule-bending and original you will be regarded as cool and gain attention. I think people are drawn to what's relatable, what's deemed as cool among peers and what you can project onto. Not just heterosexual fantasies, but you live your life through the artist or celebrity. You want to look like them, behave like them and be them. You want to have their freedom, talent, money and be as sexually attractive as them.
If you as an artist or celebrity manage to still be relatable and be regarded as cool, i think being gay/lesbian is no problem. Like i've said before, unless you do a personality transplant i think you'll be okay.
Harry's target audience aren’t milfs. Too many milfs as fans and you'll loose the younger females. You don’t want to drool over the same man as your mum. If the milfs don't take it too well when Harry comes out, then good riddance. They'll be replaced easily.
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copperbadge · 2 years ago
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So, my roommate (and because limited space, me) has been watching Chicago Fire as of late, and OH MY GOD YOUR CITY LOOKS TERRIFYING!
Is TV doing it an injustice in the name of TV, or is my Canadian self never, ever visiting Chicago.
Honestly I haven't watched any of the Chicago [Franchise] shows in years, and I never really watched regularly, so I'm not sure if the terrifying is because of all the disasters, or because they're not showcasing the city visually very well, or if there's just a lot of crime being portrayed....
I think there are probably a few contributing factors, though. For one, you're seeing a show centered around people who respond to disasters, so you're gonna see a lot of disasters :D We don't...have that many disasters, generally. Well, possibly we do but they're spread out around the city, you know? I have not personally witnessed a disaster of any kind in quite a while.
Two, while we like to invite TV and movies to film here, we don't actually make it super easy. So especially with a TV show, which has a smaller budget and not as much goodwill because they'll be around a lot longer, they tend to film in areas of Chicago that don't have a lot of people or don't have a lot of people willing to complain. So you get a lot of footage near vacant lots, under train tracks, in chicagoland alleys, depressed areas of the city, etc. You are definitely not seeing the city at its finest. I think there are actually some pretty strict rules about filming in parks, especially, so you rarely get to see our many gorgeous parks!
Chicago does have a fair amount of crime, that much is true. We have a problem with poverty, a problem with gun violence, and a problem with racial inequity, particularly in areas of the south side. That said, the high incidence of violent crime is generally confined to a pretty small region of the city. By and large Chicago is actually quite safe to be in. I'm out in the city, on foot, at all hours, relatively frequently; I used to run regularly at 3am and the worst I ever encountered (other than the pigeon incident) was drunk drivers going the wrong way up Michigan Avenue.
And of course Chicago is famous for its crime -- both the crime it has now and its history of grift, violence and bootlegging, political corruption, et cetera. So media that is explicitly set in Chicago tends to want to play that up, the same way media in the 90s and early 2000s played up violence and ugliness in New York long after New York had begun drastically lowering its crime rate. Chicago's a tough town! It's fulla crime! It takes a real hero to live here and do the right thing! blah, blah. It's an unearned reputation.
Anyway. You should come to Chicago! We're actually extremely lovely as a city, and we are very friendly as a people. Stay in the loop or South Loop, go to the Art Institute and the Field Museum, stroll around Grant Park, head north to the Lincoln Park Zoo or south to the Museum of Science and Industry, go to Wicker Park to see the hipsters and go thrifting or go to Fulton Market to get a gourmet meal. Come to my own beloved Printer's Row for our Litfest! Don't let the fire trucks fool ya. :D
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zilodak · 4 years ago
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I'm relatively new to your blog so I apologize if this has already been answered (I couldn't find a recent ask on it and couldn't find a FAQ page to make sure I wasn't asking something that'd already been asked) but may I ask how you get character face shapes down so accurately? Even your sketches seem like they have highly accurate character facial proportions down to a science, and I was wondering if you use any specific methods for that (such as Reilly or Loomis method for head-drawing) - 1/2
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No need to apologize, I've never been asked this before!
So to answer your ask, I think it's important that I tell you that the characters I draw on my blog are characters that I have been drawing non-stop for more than a year, so I'm kind of used to their facial structures as far as like ease goes.
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So it's just natural progression at that point.
On top of that I keep a bunch of references of them, including their 3D models and multiple Pinterest boards. For example, the reference I used for the middle one was this:
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Nowadays I don't really use 3D references and when I do, it's only loosely based on them. But when I started out, it was a great tool for me to learn face structures and difficult angles. I have files of me tracing the models' faces and then drawing them from scratch, that I haven't shared online because they were for me to practice, but those really helped me with studying faces and how they look from different angles. For the third one, the only thing I really referenced was myself and my expression (as well as some face features i.e. my nose and eyes). As my style and understanding of facial structures progressed, I became more comfortable giving Daud some of my Southwest Asian features while also trying to keep him recognizable (e.g. his hair, his ears, his narrow chin).
The greatest thing to come out of these exercises and fanart is that now I have a good grasp on faces just generally. My OCs now don't look flat and all of those 3D studies really helped me understand proportions and feature placements better. So my advice to you would be to just practice with 3D models if you can, the trick is to really think about what you're doing tho, and pay attention to proportions and structures.
For expressions, I really just use myself as a model, or go to Pinterest and search up what I want. Usually, I don't need Pinterest for this though, my parents will just walk into my room and look at me doing all kinds of facial expressions in front of my mirror. Sometimes, TV shows are REALLY good expression references too! Some good references might just come at you from the places you least expect them to.
As for my sketches... they might look clean but they're not my initial sketches. Often I will have multiple layers, and I usually tend to just clean up my sketches instead of doing lineart, it just ends up giving me a more natural look at the end.
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No matter who you talk to, they'll say that my initial sketches are incomprehensible, but as long as the sketches makes sense to you then there is no problem! I usually find that loosely sketching the idea before it disappears from my fleeting memory helps me capture the mood, no matter how bad it looks lol. I then try to rationalize it but drawing the face by creating the circle first and then the cheeks and jaw, as well as the ears. I then go onto sketching the features which I will then clean up for the final version.
I think that coloring the face is just as important as sculpting the sketch. Light sources and shadows can help really articulate certain features and show the face's depth better. For that I usually use this tool right here as reference!
https://www.artstation.com/artwork/GX3Ax1
It's free and it's super useful!
I hope that this answers your question a bit!
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fedonciadale · 3 years ago
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An ask to shake things up a little from That Other Topic: You and I both loved the WoT tv show, but nothing's perfect, of course, so what would you change about it if you could? What do you think could have been done better? Is there anything you're hoping they'll improve on next season? I want to hear your thoughts!
Hi there!
I'll talk gladly about that!
I wouldn't change that much to be honest, mostly because there are quite a lot of things that we'll have to see how they develop in later seasons. And there are changes I'm definitely very happy about.
My main problem was pacing. I think the season should have had 10 episodes and longer as well. There were some things that were underdeveloped and difficult to understand for Non book readers. Take Padan Fain! He was shown several times following the EF5 but it was too short to stand out. So, I don't know if show watchers even got his importance.
I know the actor left but I would have introduced the next Mat actor for episode 7 and 8. It was noticeabke that they tried very hard to work around that and it didn't quite work. Padan Fain had to confront Mat, Perrin made no sense.
I would have had Nynaeve heal Egwene in episode 8, not the other way round - or if Egwene really used the 'flame of Tar Valon' weave show that it was something super special and not normal channeling.
I'm a bit torn about the fact that they haven't introduced yet in detail that the True Source has two halves - Saidin was mentioned only on the age of legends cold open. And as much as the gender essentialism of the True Source is problematic in itself it is a huge part of the world building. And Moiraine mentioned only once that women and men can't see each other channeling. It's not easy to find a way around the male-female binary but I think it could be done : it could be too dangerous for humans to touch the source as a whole and that is why they can only touch one half. (The counterpart of the One Power the Dark One's Power is only one and it's too addictive - so that makes sense). Then you could have men tending to Saidin and women to Saidar (maybe especially if they have the spark) but enbys or trans people (people who can choose to learn) could choose. That's my solution anyway and I wonder how they will tackle that problem. It's a rather important part of the story that Rand needs a teacher after all. And that he is not exempt from going mad. I certainly would keep that in the show women and men seem to be equally strong.
In general I'm happy about how they handle romance. Lan / Nynaeve was one of the few ships I liked and it is now even better! Not sure about Perrin / Egwene though. On a rewatch I saw it but I'm not sure where they are going with that. Otherwise they can only improve on the romances in comparison to the books and they already did!
For my part they could just have scratched Min. Sigh. She's part of the show though and there is hope they just skip her attitude towards Egwene (which I hated so much in the books). I guess I'll never like her but I may be able to tolerate her. Lol. If I could change the polycule without enraging the fans, I would make Elayne and Aviendha bisexual, let them both have a crush on Rand (and get their one night stands) but I'd let them end up with each other and Rand either on his own (everybody really thinks he is dead) or if it can't be helped with Min. Actually anything but that weird male fantasy Jordan wrote....
I think it's reasonable to expect that they merge book 2 and 3 for the next season. Book 2 is still very much centered on Rand and he's barely there in book 3. If they want to keep making this an ensemble it makes sense to try to combine book 2 and 3 - it would help to reduce repetitive duels as well. We could end season 2 with Rand holding Callandor... That would be nice. The girls could escape the Seanchan mid-season and still end up chasing dark friends in Tear (you don't reall need the Seanchan to vanish completely. Moiraine could regain her strength in a fight with one Forsaken! Perrin could meet Faile already.
There's still so many thoughts! I can barely wait for season 2!
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erensnubs · 4 years ago
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𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕
Oikawa x F! Reader
Chapter 1
Word count: 1.9k
RANDOM POST:
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You let yourself be held by Matsukawa with Hanamaki's legs thrown over yours. 
"Mrs. Darcy ....Mrs. Darcy…. Mrs. Darcy ....Mrs. Darcy," Mr. Darcy says to Lizzie on the T.V screen. 
Hanamaki sniffles, "Yo I thought this was gonna be cringey but I'm crying right now." 
Matsukawa nods, silent tears rolling down his face. You smile a little and both pat them affectionately.
"Pride and Prejudice, will always be timeless. The book and the movie. I honestly think it's great either way. And Mr. Darcy is just UGH perfect," you say sniffling yourself and resting your head on the pillows. 
It's been 1 month since you arrived at Aoba Johsai, and you settled in with Hanamaki and Matsukawa as your "in school friends". You've been hanging out together now, and even more so because of volleyball practice and you being manager. 
You got close enough to each other that now you were bundled up with blankets, with Hanamaki laying on you and being held by Matsukawa. Popcorn, chips and candy are laying on the ground everywhere with CD's stacked up on the ground. 
"Bro this is actually a good show," Hanamaki says looking up at Matsukawa.
"Yo can you be quiet because I'm trying to process this shit," Matsukawa says and you start laughing. 
"Okay okay, the next movie is called…." You say searching through the pile.
"....10 Things I Hate About You!" You say pulling out the CD and sliding off the couch. 
"What's this one about?" Hanamaki asks, "Is it like a history one like the one we just watched?" 
You scoff, "No, this is totally different. It's a highschool one. I'm not going to explain it because it's confusing so just watch it." 
You put the CD in and the TV starts up to play the movie. You walk back to the couch as Matsukawa scoots to make some room. 
"Yo, [Name], tell me when the movie's actually starting because Iwa and Oikawa are texting me right now and say they wanna talk," Matsukawa says sliding off the couch. 
"You too Makki." 
Hanamaki looks at Matsukawa weirdly, "Wait why? I wanna watch the movie." 
Matsukawa shrugs his shoulders,"Just come over for a bit, it'll probably be short. You cool with that [Name]?" 
You nod. You weren't surprised that Oikawa and Iwaizumi wanted to talk to them. They were friends for a while and what you gathered from their perspective, you sort of ruined their whole dynamic. 
Especially Oikawa. The volleyball captain, despite your best efforts to try and communicate with him as manager, he'd make up some random excuse or fakely answers your question with that annoying sarcasm and perfectionism that everyone seemed to buy. 
Other than that the man literally glared at you, staring spears into your eyes when you caught him looking. You wish you could talk to him about it but it was made very clearly, he didn't like you "stealing" his friends. 
"Wait so you're from?" Matsukawa says at the lunch table. 
"I'm from [Country], but my parents moved here in Japan for my 1st year of highschool for business and because they move around a lot I've been staying at my Aunt's. I went to Karasuno for a while, then my parents decided I should enroll here," you say, picking at your lunch. 
Matsukawa smiles, "Hey that's pretty cool, our volleyball team is actually having practice with them! Soon I think.... I'm not sure. I can ask Oikawa… wait! He's here!" 
Matsukawa and you turn to the tall man, with the brown locks. 
"Oikawa! Come sit with me, [Name], and Hanamaki today! You too Iwa!" 
The two men came over and now you were sitting between Matsukawa and Hanamaki while facing Oikawa and Iwaizumi. 
Oikawa gives an indifferent stare at you for a split second before resuming a happy disposition. 
"Who might you be?" He asks. 
Your body physically retreats back because he made it seem like he does know you, but wanted to take a stab at you. 
What the fuck is his problem, you think. 
"It's [Name]. And you're Iwaizumi and Oikawa?" 
Iwaizumi nods, before Oikawa cuts him off icily, "Yeah yeah. I guess what I'm asking is what are you doing here at the volleyball table?" 
Ok so he DEFINITELY doesn't like you and Iwaizumi seems to sense this because he shoves Oikawa's shoulder. 
He pulls Oikawa by his arm and abruptly stands up, "God, I apologize about that. Me and Oikawa are going to sit somewhere else." 
And with that you were left with a confused Hanamaki and an equally confused Matsukawa, struggling to comprehend what happened. 
You've been meaning to talk to Hanamaki about this, but you decided against it. You shouldn't be meddling in their affairs anyway. They were friends longer and Oikawa was probably just having a bad day. You assured yourself with baseless rumors about how Oikawa was a happy-go-lucky boy who was talented, smart and kind to others. Surely he couldn't be bad? 
The stares, condescending smirks, and judgemental stares said otherwise. It was as if he gave everyone special treatment, except you. And you really didn't know why. 
Until today, you're gonna eavesdrop on their conversation. 
You tug on Hanamaki and motion for him to lean into you. He complied and you whisper in his ear. 
"Hey just for fun can I listen to the call? I promise I won't make any sound," you say and beam up at him. 
Hanamaki pulls back from your face and laughs, "Sure you're too freaking cute to say no to anyways. Mattsun! Can [Name] listen in? Just for fun?" 
You turn to Matsukawa and say, "I promise I won't say anything or make any sounds." 
Matsukawa smirks, "I don't really care. It's probably about homework anyways." 
You and Hanamaki share a devil-like smile. Something unspoken was between the two of you, and you both concluded that this conversation was most definitely not about homework. 
Suddenly a voice picks up on Matsukawa's phone and he puts it on speaker.
"Hey? What do you guys need?" he says, calmly. 
Iwaizumi's voice cut through, "Nothing just, Oikawa's a little upset." 
Hanamaki jumps in, "Wait why?" 
Iwaizumi sighs, "He's not telling me, but I think he's upset that you guys are with [Name] and not hanging out with us. Which is weird because we literally hang out a lot together and this is sort of like a once in a while thing right?" 
You slap your hand to your face and Hanamaki buries his face into your shoulder, trying to stifle your laughs. 
Matsukawa clears his throat, "Uh yeah? So what do you want us to do? Want us to invite you guys over? My parents aren't home so I don't think they'll mind having you come over." 
Oikawa's voice, clear as day rings through the phone. 
"Oh so a GIRL is alright at your house?" 
Your eyes widen as you share a look with Matsukawa. You were tempted to grab the phone and give the guy a piece of his mind but Hanamaki grabbed your wrist. 
"Man, chill. This is one of the only times she can come over. And I didn't think you would care so much about her, when you literally have girlfriends left and right," Matsukawa says, earning an approving look from you. 
Iwaizumi talks, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure Oikawa hates her guts because of some of the attention she's getting- 
"Am not!" 
"-because she's the new manager, new student and she quickly became friends with you two and the team…" 
Then Iwaizumi suddenly whispers, "Or Oikawa thinks she's interesting and you know.." 
Hanamaki looks at you and you jerk your head to the phone. 
"Uh… what do you mean?" 
You hear Iwaizumi slap himself in the forehead, "He thinks she's interesting romantically dipshits." 
Matsukawa snaps his fingers, "Oh he wants to fuck her?" He looks at you and wiggles his eyebrows. 
You furrow your eyebrows and flip him off. 
"What no? I mean I guess? I don't know…" 
Hanamaki looks at Matsukawa questioningly. And this time, you didn't know what it meant. 
Hanamaki barely mouths, "But doesn't he-" 
Matsukawa glares at him with a "let's continue this conversation later" look. 
"Uh alright Iwaizumi, I'm gonna let you go now… byeeee", He says. 
"Wait Mattsun no-". 
You stare nonchalantly at the screen, "Well you know that was…" 
Hanamaki finishes,"Interesting? No more scandalous." 
You punch him in the arm, "Wow did watching a Jane Austen movie expand your vocabulary? Maybe we should ask our English teacher to watch period pieces for our class.” 
Matsukawa laughs, “And hear this man’s ANNOYING crying! In class? Hell no.” 
Hanamaki scoffs, “First of all shut the fuck up Mattsun, and second, I see what you did there. Turning the attention to me.”
He looks back at you and you give a disinterested look. 
“Sure, but it's not really anything new. I’ve had plenty of people who hated me at first actually wanted to get to know me. I can’t blame that. People tend to do that when they encounter something new," you tell them. 
"I don't blame Oikawa for being, I don't know, a bitch to me. I did kind of steal some time away from all of you to hang out together." You shrug the volleyball jacket Hanamaki gave you back on and look at the boys. 
Matsukawa sighs, "Don't think about it too much [Name]. He's probably stressed and stuff about volleyball and all his school things. And honestly don't hook up with him, he's sorta a player." 
You nod and turn your attention to the T.V, but you can't ignore the weird look Matsukawa and Hanamaki give each other before finally settling in and watching the movie. 
MATSUKAWA POV: 
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He sees Hanamaki not so subtly come back to the couch, but [Name] doesn't mind the intrusion. 
Truth be told, Matsukawa did care for [Name], but not as much as Hanamaki did. To him, [Name] was just another friend he could vibe with. For Hanamaki, it was much more. 
He didn't exactly know Hanamaki's motives with [Name]. He knew they were somewhat platonic, but he couldn't tell for sure. 
As for Oikawa… yeah that was clueless for him. He didn't want to agree right away with Makki, his pride wouldn't allow that, but he was right. Oikawa did find [Name] interesting, romantically. 
He saw it in the way his eyes would immediately trail over to her when she walked to class. How Oikawa would cover his face "casually", when she would randomly waltz around the room with him. When Oikawa would purposely wait a while and then join the lunch line so he could go near [Name]. Sometimes, Matsukawa could literally see Oikawa undressing her with his eyes when she was at volleyball practice and she was running back and forth getting water bottles and towels, sweat covering her like sheet. 
He noticed and kept them to himself. Matsukawa Issei didn't owe anybody the information he had. So he kept it to himself. He really didn't have to tell anybody. 
So that's what he did. Like how he's probably going to keep this information and statements from Iwa and Makki to himself as well. He won't confront Oikawa about it, nor will he meddle with Oikawa's relationship.
But what he will do is subtly give you hints about what's going on. He thinks you're a smart enough girl, that once he gives you the directions you'll figure it out. 
As to why he wants to do it. He doesn't know. Perhaps, you've grown on him. 
Yes. Perhaps you did.
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IMPORTANT INFORMATION TO DISCLOSE
[Name] is used to men's lewd behavior because they will do ANYTHING to sleep with ANYBODY she thinks 
Matsukawa and Hanamaki trust [Name], but not enough to give her The Look 
Matsukawa and Hanamaki know something that [Name] doesn't. 
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 Prev/ next
Taglist: @saladskittles @tanakasimpcorner
A note from Chef Tina: I used pics art for the random posts!
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elaineiswithyou-blog · 3 years ago
Note
Greetings! Can I get an Overwatch matchup please? Have a nice day! 🥰
Fandom: Overwatch
What’s your age?: 16
Sexuality: Straight
Gender I.D: Female
Likes:
Reading Books
Writing
Playing video games
Watching true crime documentaries
Watching movies/tv shows (I mostly watch horror, action and sci-fi movies)
Listening to 70's, 80's and 90's music.
Boxing
Learning about Technology
When it's raining outside.
Dislikes:
Spiders. I have arachnophobia
Toxic and Narcissistic people. Some of my family members are very toxic and narcissistic.
Hobbies:
Listening to music
Writing
Watching True Crime Documentaries.
Playing Video Games
Studying
What are you like/ what’s your personality:
My MBTI: ENTJ/INTJ, Hogwards House is Gryffindor and my love language is Acts of Service.
Okay, so I'm basically the stoic type. I don't really laugh or smile when I'm outside. I'm a reserved person and sharing my feelings and thoughts to someone weirds me out. Unless it's someone whom I love the most. When I'm in my house, you can see me giggle or laugh like a maniac. I have a bit of dark humour and Sometimes, I laugh at the wrong moment. It sucks and it got me into trouble multiple times. I'm very dominant and arrogant. Sometimes, a little annoying since I get clingy when uncomfortable. I'm a hot headed person, so it's very easy to make me angry. Sometimes, I get a little insensitive which hurts others' feelings. I really didn't mean to do that. It just comes out of my mouth when I'm in a salty mood. I'm also dominant and Independant. I have the "I don't give a sh*t" attitude. I don't involve myself in any drama. I love peace and quiet. When people see me for the first time, they'll either be scared of me because I have a resting b*tch face and dominant and sarcastic attitude OR they'll think of me as a super sweet shy girl. If someone stares at me, I'll stare at them back and make them uncomfortable. I'm very hard working and I have goals in my life. There are times where I overwork myself which makes me grumpy afterwards. I don't wanna talk to anyone. I'll just go to my room and play video games or watch YT. I'm very supportive, loyal and protective of my family and friends. I'm not really good at emotional support, but I'm really good at solving their problem. When I'm in my house with the ones I'm super close to, I do a lot of weird stuff. I'm a weirdo and it's something that not a lot of people will think of me being when alone or with my close ones. I'm a little out of touch with romantic stuff. I try my best though. I'm a huge nerd/geek and I'll start rambling about my interests to someone. They wouldn't understand, but I still do it for some reason.
Where are you from*: India
Favorite color*: Black, Purple, Red and Blue
Favorite animal*: Wolf, Tiger, Lion, Elephant and Horse.
Favorite sport*: Basketball
Favorite food*: Anything Spicy. (I mostly like Mexican and Indian food).
Do you have a pet*: Yes, a cat and a dog
Do you have any mental illnesses*: Anxiety
Do you have any physical disabilities*: No
Do you have any siblings*: Yes, a sister.
If so, what are they like*: She's very intelligent, level-headed, charming and charismatic. It's fun to be around her and she's very protective of us (only if we earn her trust as she has trust issues) She's also a good friend and she's practising medicine.
Do you speak any foreign languages*: Malayalam and a little bit of Hindi
Reading, writing, watching movies or playing videogames*: All of them!
What’s your job*: Student
What’s your dream job*: Scientist
I’d match you with Jack Morrison/Soldier 76. You guys are both very serious and stoic people. You run a very tight ship together, sort of like mother and father though you are much more lenient with the rules than he is. When you two fight, however, you both get really nasty and tend to avoid each other for a few days which can be kind of stressful to the others. Eventually, you and him make up, mostly when he quietly plays your guy's song(two oruguitas is a great pick) to convince you he isn’t mad anymore and just wants to make amends. You and him are both out of touch a bit when it comes to romance but his favorite thing to do with you is just sway with you to music.
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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years ago
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Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Nine
Words: 4.1k
Warning(s): explicit language, violence, explicit sexual situations, substance abuse, mentions of assault
Tag List: @unknownoblivion  @edwardtriggerhandzz  @haileynicoleseavey17  @cierrasixx19  @oskea93  @mgkobsessed  @sharon6713  @itsametaphorbriansblog  @miriampraez  @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx  @rebeccaphillips14  @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie  @tamedhearts  @divaanya  @6ixx6ixx  @ratedrkohardychick91  @floregrohlssard  @oldschoolimagineblog  @thanks2pete  @abaldboi  @liith-ium  @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels  @ytwahsog  @scarecrowmax  @random-internet-user-4471  @solohqrry  @sparxx27  @kaitieskidmore1  @cruecifymesixx    @meetthesixxter   @sublimeprincesswasteland  @arianareirg  @girlnight-terror
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I hum along to the Christmas music softly playing over the speakers of the grocery store as I walk down the aisles, pushing my buggy, looking at the different types of cereal. 
Nikki doesn't like sweet cereals aside from Captain Crunch, so I just grab a box of it before heading to grab toilet paper and paper towels, along with some eggs, and head to the checkout line, my attention stalling on a tabloid on display. 
"Nikki Sixx & Vanity: Their 'Friendship' Timeline," it reads, a picture of Vanity and Nikki plastered on the front...I exhale sharply.
I can't believe it's been four months since Vanity aired out their dirty laundry on TV. 
That means Duff and I have been together for three and a half months...
I'm quickly backing up and walking to the sexual health section, examining the many brands of pregnancy tests. 
I grab the cheapest and go back to the line. 
"I told them not to put those out," my cashier states to me when it's my turn, as she sees me give another glance to the magazine with my husband and his mistress on the front.
When she gets to the pregnancy test, she clears her throat. 
"Celebratory or...?" She asks, swiping the test. 
I pretend I don't hear her. 
I shut my trunk, my arms wrapped around grocery bags as I step to the front door, of the house, the sun setting through the neighborhood, and I sigh heavily as I grab my key. 
I haven't been home in a couple days, avoiding Nikki as much as I can, but I know we need groceries in the house and I know he hasn't left to get any, and even though I'm done with him, I don't want him to starve or something. 
Opening the front door, the house is a wreck just from a glance, and I quietly shut the door in case he's asleep, and head to the kitchen.
I quickly stop in my tracks when I see through the dim light, coming from the single lamp in the foyer, figures moving in the living room, a light littering of giggles flittering through the air…
I turn the lights on, nearly dropping the groceries to see eight girls in lingerie, girls at least in their late teens, piled on Nikki—and Steven—lips swollen from making out with each other and euphoric glows casting over all of them. 
I'm at a loss for words. 
Nikki and Steven just look at me, Steven looking like a guilty kid. 
"Is that your wife?" One of the girls straddling Nikki asks, looking at me, wide eyed. 
"Ex-wife." I correct her. 
This is where the story tends to get misconstrued. If you ask Nikki or Steven what happened, they'll tell you it went down like this…
"Vivian put the fuckin' gun down!" Nikki yells at me as I hold his shotgun, the girls screaming and scattering like roaches while he and Steven run to the backyard as I pump a bullet into the chamber and fire off, missing them by a couple inches as our wall by the back door is blown to hell, chasing after them and emptying the gun in our backyard whilst trying to shoot them. 
What actually happened…
"Get out of my house." I tell the girls harshly and they look at me, pissy. 
"If I want them here, they can be here." Nikki argues. 
"They're babies, Nikki!" I shout, and the girls all defensively simultaneously let out their ages, ranging between 18 to 20, but I honestly don't see how some of them are over 17. "Then let me see your ID." I tell them. 
"We came to hook up, we didn't come to get interrogated." One of them states. 
"Okay, well, you've had your fifteen minutes with Nikki Sixx so you can get out of my house." I repeat.
"Fuck off!" She exclaims to me and I raise my brows. 
Fuck it. 
I go to our bedroom and grab what I need, and I don't give anybody a warning before firing off shotgun shrapnel into our glass ceiling, shards of mirror raining down as I hear the girls holler and cry out in fear, scampering to the door in their heels, and once the gun is unloaded, I look in the living room and see fluffy black and blonde hair peek up from behind the couch, their eyes bugging, pupils taking up most of their eye.
When the cops showed up, I said I accidentally fired into the ceiling while trying to clean the gun. They were fans of Nikki so they didn't give us a fine for public disturbance, and they didn't ask why eight girls were in our lawn in lingerie, either.
"I cannot believe you." I grit through my teeth when Steven blocks my entrance into their rehearsal studio, his heavy panting clouding the words trying to come from his mouth. "Did you run here?!" I exclaim and he nods, still trying to catch his breath, still trying to get his apology out that I can't even hear because he's talking but not saying a word due to his breathing. "Moron." I hiss, shoving him out of my way to get inside. 
"Viv, wait!" He musters out, following me. 
"Fuck you!" I shout. 
"Vivian, please, let me—" he gasps for breath some more. 
"—I hope you're having an asthma attack or something, I really do, dumbass, I really do." I march away from him and he grabs my wrist, a pathetic look on his face. 
"Look—"
"—No, you 'look,' I refuse to be the little bitch that just lays on her back and let's everybody fuck her to hell with their bullshit. It's gross and it's disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself for even being apart of it, Steven, because I thought you wouldn't do that shit to me. Just 'haha it's so hot to do stupid shit that'll hurt Vivian,'" I mock his voice, and he tries to talk again, "No, just shut up and go suck on Nikki's balls some more because I don't think those teenage girls did it enough!" I turn on my heel go to find the guys. 
"You're not mad about their age, you're mad Nikki didn't give a fuck." He gets out, taking deep breaths and I stop and turn to look at him, rolling my jaw. "You're jealous, and you know you are, and it's okay and normal to be, Viv, I know you still—"
"—Know I still what, Steven? Hmm? Love him?" I furrow my brows, stepping to him, my heels clicking on the floor when I get face to face to him, our nose nearly touching, my voice shaking with anger as I say, "He could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a single fuck because he's been dead to me for months. And as of right now, you are to. So don't come at with me trying to strike up some empathy for a person I feel absolutely apathetic about." I sneer quietly, turning. "And stay away from teenagers. I don't care if they're eighteen or nineteen, they're still fucking kids."
I grind my teeth together as I leave him standing in the hallway before I try to go into the girls bathroom, only for it to be locked. 
"Damn it." I mumble, holding back tears, glancing at the door of the boys bathroom. 
Without shit given, I open the door and walk in, seeing Izzy standing over the toilet, cigarette in his mouth, peeing. 
He glances over his shoulder and looks at me. 
"Viv." He says the best he can, smoke puffing past his lips. 
"Izzy." I reply, sitting my purse on the sink, digging through it. "Sorry, the girls bathroom was taken." I mumble. 
"No problem." He replies. "Not like you haven't seen it before." He adds and I roll my eyes. 
"Unfortunately." I sigh out, grabbing the box with the pregnancy test in it. "Hurry up, please." 
He looks at me to say something smart back, but looks at the box and his face falls. 
"Jesus fuck, Viv, what do you have that for?" He asks me. 
"Okay, I know you went to high school in Indiana and their version of Sex Education was just ways to stick your dick in a pickup truck's tail pipe without getting carbon monoxide poisoning, but when a man and woman have sex, they have a risk of procreation." I tell him. 
"With Duff? " He asks me with a confused face. 
"No, I got Bret Michaels and Willie Nelson to cum in a cup and I mixed it together and went from there." I sarcastically hiss.
"Fuck you, smart ass, I was asking a legitimate question." He zips his pants back up and steps aside for me. 
"Yes, with Duff. I haven't had sex with Nikki in months." I tell him. 
"Sorry, I didn't know if you were doing them both or what." He shrugs and I glare at him. 
"No. I'm not." I inform him, pulling my dress up and my panties down. 
"Okay, that's my cue." He says, turning away from me, in reference to my naked bottom half. 
"Not like you haven't seen it before." I repeat what he said earlier and he chuckles, going to open the door. "You're leaving?" I ask him, quickly, and he looks at me.
"Yeah?"
"I need support." I tell him, honestly sounding scared and he leans his head back and rubs his eyes. 
"Vivian, babe, I can just go get Duff—"
"—No, no, he doesn't need to know I even think I'm pregnant." I state, panicked. "Look, it'll take a few minutes but I can't wait for the result by myself, it'll drive me up the wall." I plead with him. 
"Well, what if you are pregnant, are you gonna tell him, then?" 
"I-I don't know." I admit. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there just, please, stay in here with me."
He lets out a heavy breath before nodding, rubbing his forehead. 
"Alright, alright. Just piss on the stick because I'm missing rehearsal for this." 
It was an agonizing wait, but once Izzy glanced at his watch and said, "alright, it's been long enough," I felt like it had only been a few seconds. 
"Maybe we should a wait a little bit more." I suggest.
"Viv, it's been ten minutes. You already put it off once before, come on, now. Cowgirl up." He tells me. 
"Okay." I breathe out, anxious, rubbing my lips together and shakily reaching for the test before quickly snatching away. "I can't do it." I say to him, shaking my head. "You look at it and tell me." 
"Vivian—"
"—Please?" I beg, giving him my best puppy dog eyes and he lets out a breath and reaches for the test, looking at it, nodding a little. 
"Well, Stripey, we're at the bridge, how're you gonna cross it?" He asks me, handing me the test, and I see a perfectly shaped "+" on it. 
I started to panic, and think irrationally, as I do when I'm backed into a corner. So in my panicked state, the best thing I saw for me to do, was...
"You are fucking insane." He tells me sharply, leaning against the sink. "Like evil insane." 
"Izzy, I don't know what else to do aside from just get rid of it or hope and pray I miscarry, and that's kinda fucked." I explain, holding back tears. 
"You want to fuck Nikki and just play it off as his—that's more fucked up than praying the damn thing away!" He whipser yells. "And what about Duff? What the hell happens to him when you pull that shit?" 
"I don't know, Izzy, alright? But he doesn't need a kid to worry about when he's just starting to get a taste of what he's wanted for years, now, and I don't want to—"
"—He's going to be fucked up with the idea of you still screwing Nikki when he's under the impression that you two are gonna be this magical little fairytale of unicorns and sparkles and love and shit, Vivian!" 
"I know, but I don't know what else to do!" I reply in the same tone. 
"Oh, my God." Izzy exhales smoke from his fresh cigarette. "You can't tell me this shit. You shouldn't have even let me know about this because now I'm a fucking accomplice to your batshit crazy scheme." He scolds me. 
"Izzy—"
"—You are the fucking devil, Vivian. Axl was right. You are the actual devil." 
"Well, you tell me what to do, Izzy, because that's the only thing I can come up with!" 
"Why does it matter if the child is Nikki's or not, you two are getting divorced anyway, so why does it matter if it's somebody else's?" He questions, and I stay quiet. "You are filing for divorce, right?" 
More silence. 
"Oh. My. God."
"Izz—"
"—Will you quit incriminating me with you when you do stupid shit?!" He lets out, slightly panicking. "Now im gonna be fucked sideways if they find out I knew and never said anythi--why the fuck were you even screwing Duff if you weren't a thousand percent sure you were gonna leave Nikki?!" 
"Because I thought I was but no—"
"—Izz, you alright?!" 
"Duff." Izzy  mouths to me. "Shhhit." 
"Answer him." I mouth back. 
"Yeah, man, I'm good...just really, um, fucked on that pizza from earlier!" He lies as I shove the pregnancy test box back in my purse along with the test, and zip it up. 
"Okay, dude, just making sure!" Duff replies, the sound of him walking away letting us know the coast is clear. 
Just to make sure Izzy sticks his head out of the door, and glances at me. 
"Go," he motions and I do. "Last door on the left of that hall." He adds and I go in that direction, opening the door and seeing Axl, Duff, Slash and even Steven has joined them. 
"Hey," Duff's face lights up when he sees me, and be puts his bass down as I walk to him. 
He wraps an arm around my waist and leans in, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips. 
"Hi," I smile when he pulls away, looking into his eyes, while I can see Izzy staring at me from the corner of my eye, taking a drink from his cup with this look on his face like I've just killed his best friend. 
I honestly might if I'm not careful. 
Once their rehearsal is over, it's around 5:00pm, and my stomach is killing me. 
"Can we get food?" I ask him, my hand in his as we step to the parkinglot. 
"No, I'm just gonna let you starve." He sarcastically lets out and I cut my eyes up at him. "Where do you wanna eat?" He asks next, letting my hand go so he can grab his pack of Marlboros and settle one between his lips, lighting it, before grabbing my hand again. 
"I don't know." I shrug. 
"I thought you said you're hungry." He says next. 
"I am—that doesn't mean I know what I want to eat." I add and he just looks at me. 
"Do you want a burger?" He suggests and I wrinkle my nose. "Okay...chicken?" Again, I don't look pleased. "Dennys?"
"That's fine with me." I nod. 
"Thank God." He sighs. "My car or yours?" He asks next. 
"Doesn't matter." I tell him. 
"Alright, we'll take mine." He says, stepping to the passenger side, opening the door for me without a second thought. 
"Aww," Slash says as he comes out of the building, teasing Duff from behind his shades and his own cigarette. 
Duff just smiles and flips him off, walking to the driver's side. 
"I'll see you later tonight, man!" Slash calls. 
"Alright!" Duff says back, shutting the door, fumbling for his keys to put them into the ignition. 
"You guys are going out tonight?" I ask him as he cranks the car. 
"Yeah, you can come." He offers and I shake my head a little. 
"Um, I was actually gonna go visit with Sharise and Skylar for a few hours, tonight." I tell him. 
(Pt. 79 CONT.)
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cancellablex · 4 years ago
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Hi, not sure how specific a prompt you want, but I was thinking maybe first kiss, or first time? Thanks!
Thank you so much! This was lovely! Just a little short thing, went with kiss, hope you like it! fluff! cw. g’cest!
**
find it on ao3 | prompt me!
Foil (PG-rated)
The problem was, Liam was a romantic.
Through and through he absolutely saw how things could be and not what they actually were. He didn't see the illegal-immoral-wrong of whatever the hell they had been doing for over a decade, he just... fuck knows, thought they were starcrossed lovers overcoming the odds or whatever. He thought they were going to be taught about in school, probably.
"One day, people will tell our story, right, the real proper story... they'll need to know when it started!" Liam slurred on the other side of the line, at 2:37 a.m. on a fucking Tuesday.
Noel would blame himself for letting Liam be raised by TV but there was no point in doing that now. He tried to sound casually annoyed, that was his one shot before this whole thing spiraled. "That not gonna happen. You need to lay off the drugs if you think it will. Go to bed."
"I'm in be--" *click*. *ring*. Before the second ring starts Noel has already picked up the phone and heard Liam finish his thought. "I'm in bed."
"Great, then sleep." There was silence for a couple of seconds and Noel almost thought he'd managed to talk sense into his little brother for once. But no.
"I can't sleep. It bothers me that I don't remember, like." Obviously, he had not.
Noel sighed. It shouldn't matter, but it was neverending with Liam. "You don't remember because we don't have a first kiss, Liam."
"Oh." It was a tiny sound, a quiet little high-pitched thing. It should have been his cue to hang up and leave Liam to deal with his delusions on his own. But the thing is, Noel knows when it'd be cruel to brush off Liam.
"I kissed you for the first time when you were a day old, Liam. We don't have a first kiss because we've always loved each other." It's a lie. Noel was asked to kiss Liam the day after he was born and he refused because the baby looked like... well, like a newborn baby. Red, and not-quite-real. He kissed him two days later, though.
"That's different, though. Them baby kisses, they don't count." Noel would be offended because the kid didn't bother acknowledging the cheesy sentence he custom built for his comfort but it was true. He can hear his brother breathing on the other side of the line and he doesn't really know how to fix this.
What was their first kiss, really? Was it when Liam got beat up after stealing a bike when he was 14 and Noel didn't know how else to comfort him?
Was it when he went away for a year with Inspiral Carpets and during their hug goodbye Liam kissed him on the mouth, close-lipped and tear-stained without a word?
Was it when he came back and Liam was making toast and he jumped on him and kissed him all over while hooting?
Was it after that fated first gig of Liam's he saw, calling him shit, finding Liam devastated in the alley, muttering to him "You're good, yeah? You are good." while Liam tried to squirm away?
Noel knows perfectly well which was his first Liam kiss. (Right there, in the alley). He just doesn't think Liam feels the same way.
After a moment he says, "Tell them school children it was Loch Lomond. It's the one that counts because it was the first time anybody else knew."
It takes a moment, but Liam replies. "No, that's not right. Bonehead saw us before that."
Noel splutters and chokes. Mind racing. That could mean anything - why had Bonehead never said anything? "When?!" He near-shouts.
Liam is calm as anything, "In the alley that one time you came to see us and said we were shit. Before... everything. We were smoking together all sad and then you showed up and slammed me against the wall and started snogging me... you don't remember?"
Noel remembers to count to ten. Like the cardiologist suggested. He speaks precisely, which tends to leave everyone docile and polite and make no difference when it comes to Liam. "Well, then that's the one. I'm unplugging the phone. Good night, Liam."
Liam, of course, ignores the whole thing and manages to say "What about our first fu--" before Noel makes good on his promise.
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