#i take no responsibility of what my brain conjurs
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tinderbox210 · 6 months ago
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mostly-imagines · 3 months ago
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I Missed My Funeral
jason todd x reader
aka you learn what happened to jason
warnings: detailed discussion of how jason died, this is not so happy but i can promise you my jason angst will always have comfort
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You wonder if your nightmares are accurate.
Your brain is probably just conjuring up every worst case scenario it can fathom, but maybe there’s truth to one of them. You hope not.
It’s something you haven’t been able to keep out of your mind these past few weeks, and everything seems to remind you of it. When you see his guns, when you’re using a knife to cut up dinner, when you see a car crash on the news, or even when you walk past a fucking pharmacy. The thoughts are everywhere, all the time.
Even as you lay in bed, head on his chest, your mind keeps on drifting where you wish it wouldn’t.
You know he died. He never said it out loud, but you’d seen his autopsy scar plenty of times. You’d always refrained from asking questions, he seemed nervous enough the first handful of times he was around you with his shirt off. Enough time has passed that he’s comfortable being shirtless around you, even okay when you touch his chest. The decrease in boundaries has granted you more solace in one another, but it’s also caused your mind to go wild with possibilities. 
Even now, as you lie against his bare chest, you can’t keep your cat-killing thoughts away.
“You’re being quiet,” He comments, not accusatory, just factual. 
You snap out of reverie, “Sorry, I—”
His hand soothes up and down your arm without pause, “Don’t be sorry. What’s going on?”
“I just…” you look down, thinking over your words. “What…what happened to you?” You ask quietly.
He goes still. 
You immediately regret bringing it up, sitting up from his chest to meet his eyes, “I’m sorry, I don’t need to—”
He shakes his head. The slightest response from him shuts you right up. “No, it’s…it’s okay. Probably should’ve said something by now.”
He nudges your head back down to his chest and you oblige, trying to relax your body against him again. It’s a difficult thing to talk yourself into when his isn’t any more relaxed.
“I…you know I used to be Robin?” His voice is low, hesitant.
You nod.
“Well…I made a mistake—a few mistakes. I wasn’t as careful as I should’ve been and I walked into a trap.”
You’re sure he’s placing more blame on himself than he should, though you don’t know enough to fight him on it yet. You wrap your hand around his forearm that drapes across your chest, a silent affirmation that you’re here with nothing but support and reassurance.
His breath stutters, “The, uh…the Joker set me up and…well, he killed me.”
You don’t want to ask how. You don’t want to know how. But you feel like you have to and it’s selfish and you know that but you can’t leave just it at that. 
It’s a barely audible whisper. You’re not even sure Jason could fully hear the word, but he understands the intent anyway.
His next exhale is shaky, “Yeah, um, that’s the rough part.”
Your head twitches. “That’s the rough part?” You breathe out, scared to hear what’s next.
You can’t see from this angle, but Jason’s eyes are welling over, trying desperately not to let tears fall. It takes him a moment to prepare himself to verbalize the next part. 
“He…he be—” he stops himself. “…He hit me with a crowbar. A lot.”
Oh.
You can physically feel your chest sink.
That’s worse than all the horrifying scenarios you’d built up in your head. That’s…he was beaten to death. For trying to help people. 
You don’t want to leave him in the silence for too long, so you ask the only thing you can think to. 
“How old were you?” 
He drops his head to press his mouth against your head, like he’s trying to ground himself. “Fifteen,” He murmurs into your hair.
Oh.  
You flip over so you’re chest to chest with him and hold him tight. “I’m sorry.”
He wasn’t expecting you to say that. The very very few times he’s had anything even remotely relating to this conversation, the revelation is always met by silence. Or worse.
But you’re sorry. No one’s ever said that to him before. About anything, but especially this. What does sorry even mean in this context? You didn’t do anything, are you sorry for asking? Do you…do you feel bad for him?
He swallows hard, “You’re sorry?”
“Yeah,” You say, furrowing your brow. “You’re a good person, Jay. You’re a really good person and…you didn’t deserve any of the shit that happened to you. Especially that. I hate that you’ve been through so much and I’m sorry.”
He refuses to blink but the tears are threatening to win anyways with nowhere else to go. 
He shakes his head weakly, “It was my own fault.” 
“Jason,” you say seriously. “It was not your fault. You were trying to help someone, weren’t you?”
It takes him a moment to respond to that. “I—yeah. Yes. My mom. My birth mom.” He takes a breath, “He, uh, he was blackmailing her and I tried to help her—I tried. But she gave me up to try and save herself…it didn’t matter in the end.”
While you didn’t know about the history with his birth mom, you’d been sure he’d died helping someone. That’s just who he is—whether he knows it or not.
“There was a bomb and it…” He lets that bit trail off. “I don’t remember the explosion. I think I passed out before it happened.”
He doesn’t remember the explosion. But…
He does remember the other part.
You have to drop your head into his neck so that he doesn’t see the way your eyes well up. 
“Please know you’re a good person. Please,” you plead. “You’re the best person I know.”
“But…” his breath comes out shaky, “No one…no one did anything.” 
The tears fall now, and in spite of the fact that he hasn’t let himself cry in front of anyone since he was ten, he doesn’t feel the usual burning impulse to hide. Not from you.
His voice breaks as he says, “He killed me and he didn’t…”
You sit up straight again and hold his face in your hands, looking him in the eye. “That’s not your fault. Whatever Bruce did or didn’t do, it has nothing to do with you. It’s all about him.”
You gently wipe his tears with your thumb as the weight of his head drops forward, leaving your touch the only thing holding him up.
You know he has…problems with Bruce. You know his death is a sore subject among them for more reasons than the obvious. You also know the Joker still lives and breathes today and there’s some sort of rule or agreement that Jason isn’t allowed out on patrol when he’s loose. 
There’s clear trust issues there, on both sides, but you’ve always had trouble figuring out what exactly Bruce had done to leave Jason so closed off. It pushed him away from his family and caused potentially irreparable scarring to his ability to trust other people. It actually makes a lot of sense that this is what caused the rift between them—you’d been thinking maybe Bruce was the reason Jason died or he couldn’t stop it, but this…this is a different kind of damaging. Fuck, no wonder Jason feels like he doesn’t belong in his family. 
You take a heavy breath, “You’re important. You’re important to me and whatever moral roadblocks Bruce couldn’t get over doesn’t change that—it has nothing to do with how good you are.” 
You’re definitely crying now but at this point it doesn’t matter. It’s more important for him to hear this than for you to pretend like this isn’t as horrible as it is.
He doesn’t look up at you but you can see his own tears dripping off his face. You don’t see him cry very much at all, and definitely not like this.
You sniffle, “Do you wanna switch?”
He nods against your palms and lets you out of his hold to sit up as he shifts lower on the bed and wraps his arms around your torso. You weave one of your hands in his hair and stroke softly. The other rubs soothing patterns on his back, feeling the heaviness of his breath under it.
You kiss the top of his head, “I love you. So much.”
He holds you tighter, murmuring “I love you,” into your chest.
It’s quiet for several minutes after as you both process the words said.
You’re the first to pipe up again, “How did…”
He exhales, “Ah…it’s a little complicated…”
He wants to talk about it another time. That’s fine by you.
Another silent minute passes before, “Bruce isn’t…he’s not a bad…we had a lot of problems after I came back. Both of us. Took a while to get over ‘em.” There’s a beat before, “Still getting over ‘em.” 
You nod, continuing tracing onto his back. His voice is clearer again, stronger.
“Is that why you don’t like being at the batcave?” you ask.
“No,” he murmurs. “It’s ‘cause he keeps the suit on display.”
You look down at him, frowning. “What suit?”
“The robin suit.”
You pause.
“That robin suit?”
He nods.
…what
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for clarification bc i think i thought this was canon oh well
🔮🕯️the reblog witch bids you do her bidding 🕯️🔮
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aliteralsemicolon · 4 months ago
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Wait until you like me again - 18+
See part 1 | Part 2 of We can't be friends (wait for your love) | See part 3
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The decision to resign puts a lot of weight on your shoulders. A takedown gone wrong makes it the least of anyone's concerns, especially Spencer’s. You’re not willing to let him back in; it feels too little, too late.
Spencer Reid X Fem! Reader
DISCLAIMER This story is NSFW and contains graphic depictions. It is intended for mature audiences only, minors do not interact!  You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read. Part 2 was highly requested and I’m sorry it’s taken so long to finish.
WARNING Panic attack mentioned, slight PTSD depictions, drugs (GHB), Case details (very poorly thought out). Violence: canon typical - strangulation, drugging, guns/gunshots. Proceed at your own risk.
Word count: 10.3K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.
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The most annoying part about making a decision in haste is the clarity of the situation when the dust settles. It’d taken Hotch just over two minutes to message you after you’d sent your email. 
From: Boss Man 🕶 👔 My office, first thing tomorrow. 
You didn’t take into account that you’d have to explain your sudden resignation to your unit chief, or that you’d need to think of a good enough goodbye to lessen the hurt of abandoning your friends. These are people you consider your found family; you’re leaving behind years worth of bonds with no proper warning or closure, in a measly few weeks. Your reasoning had to be good enough to convince them that this was for the best. 
To convince you that this was for the best. 
You’d spent the whole night in tears, racking your brain for an excuse, because ‘the person you care most about in this world and unrequited love of your life telling you that he didn’t want to see your face was a pathetic reason for discarding your life’s work. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t think of adequate justification. Even as the sun rose and you made your way through your pre-work routine, nothing came to mind. 
“You can’t love me.”
Any time you tried to conjure up a defence your thoughts would wander back to Spencer. Too many words had been exchanged between you and your former best friend in the span of four months and not a single one of them properly explained why he was so butt-hurt. He loves you too much, but doesn’t want you to love him? That’s your understanding, at least. 
“Please don’t come back here. It’s hard enough at work, I don’t want to see your face in my personal time too.” 
Since you’d left his apartment the previous night, you’d been cycling through all the stages of grief in record time. Spencer once told you that people tend to remember more negative memories than positive. He was right. You couldn’t recall a lot of your happier memories with him. All you could think about was the two conversations where he’d hurt you in ways you never imagined he would. 
You’re not sure exactly what part of you snapped at that moment, all you knew was that you were done making him the centre of your universe. Spencer Reid played no part in your decisions moving forward. He was not the reason for your departure with the BAU, a lie you made sure to relay to Hotch during your meeting with him.
“I’m just surprised, that’s all. Where is this even coming from?” He inquired from across you, hands folded neatly against his desk.
“I just think it’s time for me to try new things, you know?” It was a pathetic excuse, but less pathetic than the actual reasoning. 
“I try not to interfere with the personal lives of the team, but this is just so…sudden. I have to wonder if this has to do with Spencer?”
“This has nothing to do with him.” You go out of your way to avoid saying his name, suspecting you might taste poison. 
Hotch’s brow raises, as if his brain has been alerted to key information, head marginally tilting to the side like it does when he catches a lie. He doesn’t say anything, eyes narrowing in on you in stoic fashion. You feel like a petulant child that’s about to receive a scolding from their father. 
“Hon–Honestly…Hotch, I just–”
Three rapid knocks cut you off, the door to the office swinging open without waiting for a reply. 
“Sir, Hello, I’m sorry to interrupt but it’s an emergency. That case we were consulting on for Anchorage PD?” Garcia bursts into the room, slightly discoloured and more panicked than normal. “Well, five more bodies were discovered. Two of them pre-date who we initially thought was the first victim.”
“Garcia, tell everybody to meet on the jet ASAP. We’ll debrief on the flight.” Hotch orders abruptly standing from his seat. “You and I can finish this meeting later. This case is now our top priority, wheels up.” 
Emily, Rossi and Derek were already in their seats when you boarded. You secured your go bag in one of the overhead compartments and temporarily took a seat next to Derek. 
“How bad do you think this one is gonna be?” Derek sighs, dreading the horrors that await your arrival. 
“We’re up to thirty six bodies and counting. Whoever this unsub is, they’ve been at it a while. So, bad.” You answer honestly. 
“Speaking of bad, is everything okay?”
“That was not even remotely smooth.” You scoff. 
“I’m just asking as a concerned friend.” He shoots his hands up in defence.
“What happened to the days where we at least tried to mind our business. You know, at least asked each other about our weekend plans before jumping into interrogation mode.” You roll your eyes and smirk. 
“Heyyy, woah– no one’s interrogating anyone.” Derek chuckles. “What are your plans for the weekend?”
It wasn’t long before everybody had made their way on the jet, Spencer being the last one. You didn’t notice his arrival, too engulfed in your conversation. He definitely noticed you though. The sound of your giggles caught his attention the second he was in ear shot. He didn’t like how warm he felt at the sight of your smiling face. What he disliked more was that he could instantly tell that it wasn’t a genuine smile. 
He quietly made his way to his self assigned seat on the couch, trying his hardest to focus on anything but you. Every laugh that Morgan coaxed out of you bothered him. Spencer’s agony only ended once the jet had successfully taken off. 
“Alright let’s get started.” Hotch declared and everybody moved to gather around. 
With all the details laid out by Garcia through the monitor, everybody began stating facts and suggestions. You wrapped up soon enough and retreated to an isolated seat in the back of the jet. It was an almost eight hour flight, seven of which you were planning to use to come up with a solid plan to announce your departure. Life always has to throw a wrench in your plans though, because the lack of sleep from the night before caught up to you and you dozed off almost immediately. Had you any energy left in your body, you might have been privy to the eyes that were on you. 
“She didn’t say anything as to what the meeting was about?” JJ hushedly pries from her raven haired co worker in the cramped kitchenette.  
“No, but Garcia said that ‘the air in his office was really tense’.” Emily relays, her fingers mimicking quotation marks. “Did Hotch say anything?”
“No. He just gave me his usual dry look and told me to focus on the case.” JJ rolls her eyes at the thought and leans back against the counter. 
Despite being the FBI’s most decorated task force, the agents of the BAU weren’t strangers to workplace gossip. You’d just entered the bullpen this morning when Hotch frantically summoned you to his office, not even giving you time to set your things down at your desk. Witnessing the events sparked a guessing game sparked amongst the team. 
“Is it something we should know about?” Sitting across from Hotch, even Rossi succumbed to his curiosity. 
“Dave you’re not normally one to pry.” Hotch smirks, keeping his eyes on the case-file laid out in front of him. 
“No I’m not. But with the events of the past few months...” Rossi sips his coffee, staring at his younger superior expectantly. “...there’s been some talk Aaron.”
“Talk?” Hotch meets Rossi’s eyes.
“Mhm.” Rossi nods. “Apparently you’re transferring one of our two youngest members because they haven’t been able to put their differences aside.”
“I’m not transferring anyone. Where did this come from?” The alarm in his tone makes Rossi snicker.
“Office drama. You know how it is. And while you may not be transferring anybody,” he sets his mug down and looks towards where you’re sound asleep. “I’m guessing somebody is leaving. Hence this morning's meeting.”
“We’re not supposed to profile each other, you know.” Hotch sighs. “I’d appreciate it if you could keep this contained. I haven’t had a chance to properly discuss this with her yet and I think she’d prefer to break the news herself.” 
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As you had predicted the case was by no means an easy one. On the first day everybody was split into groups to follow up with the M.E, victims’ families and examine the crime scenes. All the evidence and information gathered wasn’t enough to narrow the profile any more than the generic: male, mid thirties to early forties, hates women. You were now three days in with no viable leads. 
You were especially frustrated because you felt that you weren’t working as well as you could. The stress of your announcement was taking its toll, you were unable to properly converse with your team out of guilt. Hotch sent everyone back to their hotel rooms with the idea that you would start fresh tomorrow. Normally you would room with Spencer, but lately JJ and Emily have been taking turns rooming with both of you. This time you were with Emily.
“I think this may be the first night we’ve gotten to turn in early.” Emily yawns as she dramatically stretches her limbs.
“I’m just glad we got to turn in at all, for a while there it looked like we may have to pull another all nighter.” You force a giggle, exasperated.  
“You okay?” She doesn’t miss a beat, taking the opportunity to ask about your uneasiness. 
“Yeah, fine.” You smile, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. 
“You’re going to snap at some point, you know?” She examines your closed off posture, trying to figure out a way to get you to open up. “Something’s clearly wrong. Talk to me.”
“We’re all on edge right now. It’s this case.” You hope that you’re being convincing enough. 
“It's more than that. You’ve been distant from everybody.” Emily briefly thought back to the Ian Doyle debacle, recognising all the signs of somebody preparing to run away at any given moment. 
“I’m aware that I’m not working to my full potential–”
“That’s not what I mean and you know that.” She steps closer to you. “I can’t force you to tell me whatever’s actually on your mind, but I would really appreciate it if you would. I hate seeing you so…detached. Not just from us, but from yourself.”
It’s the empathy in her voice instead of the usual sympathy that finally cracks you. Tears pool your eyes and you sink to the floor. Emily sits down next to you without a word. She tries to pull you in for a hug but you push away. 
“Please don’t.” You sob. “I’m sorry.”
She squeezes your knee to relay that she understands and retracts her hand. Your discomfort with physical touch was another thing you had in common with Spencer. It was just a personal preference for you, unlike his germophobia. He was the only person you were actually comfortable with in terms of touch, but you couldn’t fault others for not respecting that boundary when you’d never verbalised it. 
“I’ve been trying to figure out the right way to tell you guys, but I don’t think there’s any way this gets easier.” You recompose yourself after a moment. “I’m, um, leaving.”
You expect her to get upset with you, but find her unfazed. 
“You don’t look surprised.” 
“Well it’s not entirely surprising. I mean given everything that’s happened.” 
“So you’re not mad?”
“Why would I be mad?” She leans back with her mouth slightly open. 
“Because I feel like I’m abandoning you guys.” You heavily exhale. 
“You’re not abandoning us. You’re doing what you feel is right for you. I mean, am I happy about it? Definitely not. But I know better than anyone why you feel like you need to do this. And it’s not a decision you have to justify to anybody.” Emily reassures you. 
“How do I tell everybody else?” You push for more advice.
“However you feel most comfortable doing it. It doesn’t have to be some big announcement. You can casually break it to them whenever you get the opportunity. They’ll understand.” 
“Thank you, Em.” You genuinely smile this time, eternally grateful that she’s managed to take some pressure off your shoulders.
“Now while you’re in a mood to share…if you wanna talk about something else–” She attempts one last time to get you to talk about Spencer, sensing that the mood lightened a bit. 
“Nice try.” You laugh as you rise to your feet, offering your arms out to her to help her stand.
The following two days were a lot easier on you, mentally. You took Emily’s advice and disclosed your news individually to each team member, each of them more understanding than you’d anticipated. You were surprised to learn that Rossi was already aware, assuming that it came with being a profiler for as long as he had. Derek and JJ did try to talk you out of it initially, but accepted your decision in the end. You still had to talk about this with Garcia, but felt a lot more at ease with mostly everybody knowing.
Except Spencer.
That thought lingered in the back of your mind. You still love him, it’s not something you can just turn off. You shake it off and divert your full attention to the case. Four more bodies had been discovered and with them, a new pattern to the killings. The unsub was devolving. You and Spencer were the only ones at the precinct when the last murder was called in. Meaning you were stuck working on the geographical profile with him while the others were out chasing new leads. 
Realistically, only one of you was needed to build the profile and decided you were going to let him do it. You quietly sat in the furthest seat possible, trying to make yourself invisible and hoping that this would keep him busy enough to not talk to you. The whole week, you hadn’t uttered a single word to him unless it was absolutely necessary for the case. It was as if he didn’t exist, even if he was standing right infront of you. Spencer, on the other hand, spent the whole week prodding you for any reaction he could get. Anytime you made suggestions and he happened to be in the area, he tried to one up you.
At times it felt like he was purposely seeking you out, despite his brutal proclamation five days ago. Every attempt to rile you up failed. The most acknowledgement he got from you was a few scoffs and glares. He hadn’t even realised he was doing it, until Derek asked him point blank what his problem was. He didn’t have an answer, but now that he was aware of it he tried to go out of his way to avoid it. 
That didn’t last more than a few hours. The fact that he had to consciously avoid talking to you pissed him off, especially because he couldn’t stop. You pretending like he didn’t exist pissed him off even more. The one time he took his eyes off the board in front of him they landed on you. You were busy scribbling words in a file, trying to get a head start on your paperwork. 
“Do you plan to help at all?” He sneers, noticing that you looked a lot more relaxed than you did at the start of the case. 
You snap your head towards the board behind him. A rough venn diagram was drawn on a map of the city, small tacked notes labelling prominent buildings in the area. 
“How am I meant to help?” You question, darting your eyes between him and the board out of confusion.
“You’re asking me how to do your job?” He taunts, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes.
You dramatically groan, throwing your head back. 
It’s hard to believe that he’s a man of logic in moments like these. There have been far too many in the last few months. You bounce off your seat and head over to the board. Spencer stays glued in his spot and your body accidentally brushes against his as you try to get past. He watches you take off some notes and add on new ones but doesn’t register what you’re doing at first. He’s too intoxicated by your scent. His hand runs through his hair as he steps back in an effort to regain his composure. His teeth grit and his jaw tenses momentarily, he hates that you have the ability to do this to him. 
“What do you think you’re doing?” The pitch of his voice raises and his ears are burning.
“What do you mean?” You roll your eyes, shrugging your arms, sarcasm laced in your words. 
“Don’t try to act all dumb!” He berates, shaking his head. 
“Don’t try to act all smart.” Your eyes roll again. Spencer was slowly starting to wear down your apathy. 
“I am smart.” He scoffs. Your blood boils, this trump card is becoming too repetitive.
“Savour that, it’s the one good thing you’ve got going for you!” You finally snap. 
“You’re UNBELIEVABLE! The first time you bother to answer me all week and it’s just to argue?” He’s trying his best to refrain from yelling.
“Oh! You’ve been trying to start an argument all week and now that I’m giving in you can’t take it?! Actually, why have you been trying so hard, Doctor? I was under the impression that you can’t even stand to look at my face!”
He dryly swallows, unable to respond immediately. The reminder of his words makes him internally cringe. He never meant to say them. It was the most efficient way he could think of at that time to hurt you. Spencer hadn’t anticipated the sheer amount of will power it would take to stay away from you. You seeking him out made it infinitely harder. His fake disdain was a defence mechanism, he was hiding behind hatred to get the job done. 
“YOU–”
“Alright, that’s enough!” Hotch loudly cuts him off. 
Neither you nor Spencer noticed the teams return during your squabble. You’re slightly embarrassed, wondering how much they’ve witnessed. Spencer turns away from you and looks to the blank wall on the other side of the room. You look to the floor and bite the inside of your cheek. 
“Care to explain what’s going on?” He grills and you feel like a petulant child receiving a lecture from your father. 
“She wasn’t doing her job!” Spencer complains. “And when I brought it up she messed up my profile!”
“God you’re insufferable! It’s called ‘narrowing the profile’, Spencer. Maybe if you did it properly, I wouldn’t have to.” You retort. 
“Hey!” Hotch scolds.
It falls silent for a second, awkward glances finding their way around the room. Rossi breaks it first. 
“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you two were bickering toddlers instead of FBI agents.”
You make eye contact with Morgan trying to hold in a laugh and it makes you snort. 
“We will discuss this later. Let’s focus on the updates we’ve gathered.” Hotch dismisses due to more pressing matters at hand. 
“After talking to friends of the latest victims, I can confirm that they were all last seen in the same club.” JJ pipes up first.
“And the dumpsites are all less than twenty minutes away from there. He’s definitely not holding them anymore.” Morgan adds.
“That has to be where he’s choosing his victims. Did the medical examiner find anything new?” Hotch asks.
“Traces of GHB.” Emily replies. “We don’t know how he’s administering it into their systems, but my guess would be through the drinks.”
“Gamma-hydroxybutyrate, mostly known as GHB, is a party drug that produces feelings of euphoria, confidence, relaxation and sociability. Side effects of GHB can include drowsiness, vomiting, mood swings, dependence, as well as more serious symptoms of unconsciousness. When mixed with alcohol the risk of overdose increases as it can cause respiratory collapse leading to coma or in extreme cases death.” Spencer’s about to continue but quickly recognises that it’s a tangent he needs to cut short. 
“Wait JJ what club were the victims last seen in?” You inquire, walking closer to the map.
When she relays the name it clicks. 
“That’s smack in the middle of the comfort zone.” You point at a small red note labelling the building. 
“So how do we catch this guy? I mean the club would be packed and we don’t know what this guy looks like. The profile tells us that he would blend in, nothing would stand out about him.” Morgan subtly suggests a string operation.
“Except for when he’s alone with the object of his rage. Which in our case would be the women he’s using as surrogates. He'd be possessive, become clingy, hold on too tight and once those advances are rejected he’d fly into blind rage.” Spencer exclaims without realising the weight of his input. 
“Yeah…but he has a very specific type.” Rossi hesitates. 
A fact that everybody had been avoiding the case because of how close it hit to home. 
You’re his exact type.
“No.” Hotch shuts down.
“Hotch, think about it. I mean this guy is not slowing down. A sting might be our best bet to stop him before he kills again.” JJ shares Rossi’s hesitation.
“It’s too risky!” Spencer blurts, making it clear he’s against the idea. 
Everyone begins to chime in with their input, but you stay silent and think it over. None of them wanted to put you in this position, but you’d seen the bodies and what he’d done to those women. What he’ll continue to do to other women if he isn’t stopped. It was a no brainer on your end. 
“I’ll do it!” You announce amidst the chatter.
It comes to an immediate halt, all eyes shifting on you.
“What?” Spencer scoffs.
You can tell that he’s genuinely surprised by the small hitch in his voice. Emily sceptically calls your name, posing it as a question. 
“I’ll do it.” You reiterate, taking care to seem as confident as possible.
“Absolutely not! The odds of this going wrong are way too high!” Spencer howls with a little too much passion. 
“Reid’s right. The unsub is way too unpredictable.” Hotch debates.
“JJ has a point, think about it!” You argue. “We know for a fact that he’s going to strike tonight. Sending me undercover as bait is better than staking out the place and waiting for him to target a civilian!” 
“Okay so let’s send somebody else!” Spencer contests, his tone prayerful. 
For a split second, you see your best friend again. He’s showing more regard for you now than he has in months and it makes your heart sink knowing it won’t be forever. Still, you try to reason with him while he’s there.
“There’s no time! I fit his type. This is our best option.”
“No, this is stupid and dangerous. You’re not going in there!” He’s gone again. 
“That’s not your call to make!” You snap. 
“Hotch no!” Spencer tries again.
“Kid, relax! This isn’t her first undercover mission.” Morgan attempts to calm Reid. “Plus we’ll all be there in case anything goes wrong.”
“Statistically–”
“For God’s sake forget the fucking statistics! People’s lives are at stake!” You loudly end his tangent before it can begin. 
“Alright, everybody calm down!” Hotch speaks up, making it a point to stare down Spencer. 
He’d made his decision and Spencer can only stare back in disbelief, too breathless to argue. 
‘Like Morgan said, we’ll be there watching over you, along with some local law enforcement. You won’t be wired, but we’ll have a fail safe just in case you need backup earlier than expected. We don’t have a lot of time. Let’s get to work.” The unit chief asserts. 
Before anyone can make any further moves, Spencer storms out of the room. JJ runs after him, assuring Hotch that she’ll take care of it. The rest of you break off to your assigned tasks, preparing for the operation that night. 
“Spence! Slow down!” She yells, chasing him all the way outside the precinct. 
He’s breathing too fast, practically on the edge of hyperventilating. He pushes his hair back with both of his hands, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. 
“Spence what the hell is going on with you?” JJ pants, reaching out to touch his shoulder.
“Me?!” Spencer yanks himself away from her. “What the hell is going on with all of you?! You’re all insane for allowing her to do this!”
“She’s a grown woman and a trained agent! This is her decision. She knows what she’s getting herself into.” JJ reminds him. 
“Well it’s not a very smart decision! She shouldn’t be making decisions this…this reckless!” He shrieks. 
“Okay you need to calm down!” JJ sternly states. 
“Jennifer, do not tell me to calm down! She’s about to make herself a direct target for a psychopathic sadist and you’re all just letting it happen!”
“So what? Should we let some innocent woman become his next target?” 
“No! I’m not saying we should– just– why does it have to be her?!” The emphasis on his last word gives him away, JJ picks up on it instantly. 
“That’s what this is about? C’mon you know better than this.” She relaxes her shoulders. “Spencer, we all care about her. We all want her to be safe. And she will be as long as we separate out feelings from–”
“Feelings? This has nothing to do with how I feel–”
“Okay stop! Stop! God!” JJ huffs with pauses between her words. “I am so sick of this! This is clearly about your feelings. The past four months have all been about–”
She smacks her hands against her face as she takes a deep breath, a display of frustration. 
“Listen to me.” She commands, exhausted from the back and forth. “It’s clear that you two care deeply for each other, whether you’re willing to admit it or not. Neither of you will talk about whatever it is that’s caused this rift– fine! But don’t you think it’s time to bury the hatchet now that she’s leaving?”
Spencer freezes. 
“...Leaving?” He repeats, taken off guard. 
JJ takes a moment to read his expression. 
“She didn’t tell you?” JJ mutters, still scanning his face. 
“What– what are you…” He can’t find the words, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tries to process her words.
“She’s resigning, Spencer. She’s leaving the FBI.” JJ can’t hide how she’s surprised that you haven’t shared this with him. 
“No, that's not possible. She loves this job. Why would she leave?” Denial is his first response.
Spencer thinks over your possible motivations and can only land on the obvious. You’d only leave if you grew to hate the job. 
Did he do this? Did he make you hate it?
“We were all surprised when she first told us, I mean, it came out of nowhere.”
“We?” He rubs his temple, anticipating a possible migraine from the bomb that just dropped on him. “How long?”
“What?”
“How long have you guys known?” He balefully sighs, trying his hardest to not misplace his anger. 
“It’s hard enough at work, I don’t want to see your face in my personal time too.” 
He had no one to be angry at, but himself.
“A day? Maybe two? She told us individually. Honestly with this case I haven’t had time to wrap my head around it.” JJ honestly reveals. 
So not long. Maybe you were still making your way around to telling him? You wouldn’t just leave without so much as telling him, would you?
A few months ago, Spencer would’ve confidently answered no. Today he was sure that you would. He so badly hoped that he was wrong. 
“Spence, look, we can talk about this later. But right now, you need to make sure you’re able to stay objective. Can you do that?”
He nods relentlessly, tucking his hair behind his ears. A habit he adapted early in life. It was an indicator of the gears turning in his head. JJ gives him a few more minutes outside before guiding him back in to help with preparations. Spencer absentmindedly performed his tasks, but all he could think about was you. 
You’re leaving and he’s the only person you hadn’t disclosed this information to. Abandonment was a feeling he was all too used to, but he never imagined that you’d abandon him. He knows that he can only blame himself, but he still can’t help the irritation that’s creeping in his veins. 
Even as he straps up his hidden bullet proof vest hours later, he can’t push the sentiment away. You were setting yourself up as bait for one of the most dangerous types of serial killers. On top of purposely putting yourself in direct line danger, you were leaving without telling him. He would’ve showed up to work one day and you’d be gone.
Right now he stands just a few feet away from you and you don’t look toward him once. No one would be able to guess that you’re undercover. It’s amazing how you’ve managed to transform yourself from supervisory special agent to a regular socialite and party girl in a couple of hours.
If he could overcome the hurt he feels at the moment, he might see how breathtaking you look. Then again, you always appear breathtaking to him. Before he knows it, he’s walked right up to you. You don’t feel his presence looming behind you until you bump into him when you turn around. 
“Shit Spencer!” You jump, mostly because of the nerves from the upcoming night. 
He’s about to say something but you beat him to it.
“Don’t start! I’m not in the mood.” You brush him off and disappear out of sight.
It was like that for much of the preparations. He’d muster the courage to try and talk to you, and you’d walk away. Much like how Spencer would avoid you when your friendship first fell apart. 
“Everybody in position?” Hotch inquires through his ear piece. 
“Affirmative.” Morgan gives the greenlight for your entry into the club. 
You made your way to the bar, making it a point to sit alone. You didn’t have to wait long. Archie Carter, 36, cheated on by his ex fiance before their wedding. She ran away with another man because Archie failed to keep his sadistic traits hidden and it scared her off. Torturing and murdering women who looked like her was his way of giving her a real reason to be scared. 
This was all information Garcia found after it was nearly too late. He’d managed to get you on the dance floor, subtly injecting you with the GHB. You didn’t even feel him do it. To everybody else it just seemed like you were playing your part really well on the dance floor, when in reality you were struggling to stand up. You couldn’t give out any signals and he was able to slip you away into the back alley under the noses of five FBI agents. 
It was Spencer who’d found you fighting for your life against Archie’s grip around your throat. Spencer, who put the bullet in Archie’s head after being unable to talk him down. Spencer who kneeled above you, begging you to come back as he began CPR. If he’d found you any later you might’ve been gone for good. 
Pissed was an understatement.
At the piece of shit that almost ripped you away from the world. At Hotch and the team for not listening. At himself for being right. Not you though, for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t pissed at you. He was terrified. Both for you and for almost losing you. 
You had to stay a few extra days in Anchorage, bound to your hospital room. The team refused to fly back without you, each of them taking turns to keep you company. They all felt an immense amount of guilt but you reassured them that it wasn’t their fault. Your tongue grew tired of reminding them that this was a part of the job. Rossi joked that it was a good thing you were leaving it all behind in that case and it stung more than you were willing to admit. 
In your brush with death you came to the revelation that you didn’t want to leave, but hearing Spencer’s voice lull you back to him confirmed that you needed to. You couldn’t bring yourself to hear him talk everyday and not be the person he was talking to. It was why you had basically barred him from visiting you during your recovery there. Seeing his face was more than you could handle at the time. Not seeing yours weighed on him, because he needed to see if you were okay.
Physically, he knew you’d be fine once the doctors confirmed it. Mentally, he knew all too well of the repercussions that came with almost dying directly by the hands of an unsub. You’d been discharged and cleared fifty eight hours after you were admitted, and the team was ready to fly back a few hours later. All the signs of being less than okay were there. He recognised them as soon as he saw you board the jet. 
Besides the obvious bruises collaring your neck, there was some minor swelling that lingered. That wasn’t his biggest concern. It was the smile plastered on you when you put on your ‘I’m okay’ act for the others. Your eyes, like always, gave you away. You were already trying to sweep everything under the rug. Less than a few minutes after take off you isolated yourself in the back. You’d been doing that a lot in your recent cases. 
It irked him how everybody just let you. He decided right then that he wasn’t going to. He didn’t care how much you hate him, he was going to ensure that you came out of this truly okay. You were mindlessly staring out the window, counting the clouds, listening to the music playing through your headphones. You tried to ignore the feeling of being watched. You’d felt like that since you came to, in the alley. 
It took you a second to understand that you were actually being watched, turning to find Spencer in the previously empty seat across from you. 
“You’ve gotta stop sneaking up on me.” You snark, ripping off your headphones, still recovering from the small jump scare.
“Sorry.” He chuckles out of habit.
You unintentionally smile at the sound and find yourself staring in his eyes. 
“Are–” He falters as he thinks the question over in his head. “Is there anything I can get you?”
You’re taken aback, not expecting those words. You had a script prepared to waive off questions about your well being. He knows you better than that, throwing you off course as usual.
“What do you want?” You grumble, accepting that you couldn’t get past him.
“I want to know if there’s anything I can get you.” He repeats in a low tone. 
There he is again. The Spencer you know and love. Your heart threatens to leap.
“If this is to clear some guilty conscience, don’t bother.” You verbally guard yourself. “I’m fine.”
It would be a lie if he said his reasoning was completely selfless. He was hardly able to keep away from you without feeling like he was drowning, but it was nothing compared to how he felt when he thought he may have lost you forever. The feeling didn’t last very long, he was able to revive you within a few seconds, but never feeling like that again would be too soon. 
Spencer believed in two things; statistics and facts. One fact he refused to ignore any longer is that he couldn’t live without you. He quietly opened that satchel that still clung across his torso, fishing out some pain killers and an unopened water bottle. 
“I know you probably forgot to take yours out of your bag.” He ignores your previous comment and slides the items across the table to you. 
Your gaze lingers on the items in front of you, but your hands stay folded in your lap as you piece everything together. 
“You know.” You whisper. 
“Were you going to tell me?” He gulps after a beat of silence. 
“Does it matter?” You're quick to respond.
“I wanna hear it from you.” He’s just as fast. 
You look up from the leaf of pills, he’s already surveilling you. It’s a short lived staring contest because your focus shifts behind him to Hotch, who’s observing this encounter from the kitchenette on the other end. Spencer continues waiting on you for a response but you stand up, ready to walk away. It dawns on you when you see your supervisor that technically you hadn’t officially resigned yet. The paperwork never got started because this case took priority and that was a detail you needed to sort out right away.
“Don’t go.” Spencer pleads when you take your first step.
Was it a request to sit back down or to stay with the BAU? You didn’t bother to clarify, he had no right to ask for either. 
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You let out a deep, exasperated sigh as you lie curled up in your warm sheet, scowling at the floor beneath you. It seemed that the universe (your friends) had it out to delay your departure as much as possible. It’s been four days since your return from Anchorage and you’ve been stuck in your apartment since Hotch dropped you off here. He’s ordered mandatory time off for your recovery, meaning the paperwork has to wait. 
You could be using this time in a more productive manner. You could be searching for a new job. And a new place to live. You should be trying to figure out where this new place would be. You never actually thought that far ahead. In your haste to run away, you forgot to plan your next steps. You’ve convinced yourself that you can’t do any of it until the forms are filled out. 
The ‘universe’ isn’t the only thing delaying you. 
If you really wanted to, you could have everything emailed to you. You can have it done online, but there are two major problems. The first is pretty straight forward; you’re not ready to leave. You know that this is the best course of action for everybody, but your brain and your heart are at an impasse. You’ve dedicated years to this job because you love this job. Unfortunately, you love Spencer more, which means that staying is going to drive you to hate your job. 
The other reason is slightly more nuanced and you don’t want to think about it, opting to let your impasse be the reason for your lack of motivation to do anything other than bed rotting. It’s not as bad as it seems, it’s more self care than anything. Your body’s telling you it needs to rest and you’re simply obliging. Plus, it couldn’t be that serious if you still had bursts when you had to keep up appearances. You have to be okay if you’re able to force yourself to open the front door for your coworkers when they come to check on you. You really weren’t that miserable if you managed to smile and laugh for their short visits. 
And it’s not like you’re truly rotting. You showered quite often, you actually just had your second one today. You were definitely okay if you could manage to keep up with hygiene. It’s not excessive, you need to scrub the purple away. You know that’s not how it works, but you can’t stand to look at the parts of your neck where his hands were wrapped around. If you close your eyes for long enough you can still feel him squeezing until–
You’re okay.
No, you’re irritated. The incessant knocking on your front door won’t stop no matter how much you ignore it. You were relieved when evening came. It meant that normal visiting hours were over and you could rest today. If it wasn’t any of your usual visitors then it had to be stranger. The thought made you uneasy, you hesitated to answer it at all. 
You can’t live in fear all the time. 
The door eventually opens and Spencer sees you for the first time in days. He actually tried to check on you earlier, but Penelope insisted everybody stick to her roster so you don’t get overwhelmed. The circles under your eyes were almost as dark as his, you hadn’t been getting much sleep. The swelling around your throat was almost all gone, but the bruising wasn’t healing like he expected it to. 
“Spencer…what are you doing here?” Your voice is hoarse. 
“I brought take out.” He gently dangles a bag of food in front of him, his voice high, but quiet. 
You can practically smell the contents of the bag, nostalgia hitting you like a ton of bricks. It was your favourite thing to order on the days he’d come over for movie nights. Before Spencer showed you a side of him you didn’t know existed. It felt like a taunt, like he was twisting the metaphorical knife he plunged in your heart. It made you sick.
“I already ate.” You lie, mustering a dull smile on your face.
Spencer swallows and bites the inside of his cheek, not taking his eyes off you. Trying to think of the best way to call you out without causing you to shun him. 
“We can do something else until you’re hungry again.” He gives a tight lipped smile and raises his furrowed brows, like he’s pleading for you to accept his offer.
“I don’t think I’ll be hungry anytime soon.” You awkwardly laugh– well it’s close to a laugh if not for your strained vocal chords. 
“Can I come in anyway? We can put on a movie.” He’s using the voice he used to when trying to comfort you or convince you of something. Soft, low, steady. It’s a stark contrast to the voice you’ve been hearing for the last ten days. 
Please don’t come back here. It’s hard enough at work, I don’t want to see your face in my personal time too.
Tears threaten the composure you’re working so hard to maintain.
“Why are you really here?” You sigh, unable to stick with the pleasantries. 
“I told you.” He emphasises the bag of food in his hands again. “Take out. Maybe a movie–”
“Cut the shit.” You assert, harshly. “You can tell Penelope that you came to see me so she gets off your back, but please stop pretending like you care.”
“That’s…is that why you think I’m here?” His shoulders drop.
“Isn’t it?” You bite, your door now wide open as you lean against it for support. Your legs are aching to curl into your chest again. 
“No.” His reply is short and clear, leaving no room for misinterpretation. “I’m here because I want to be here.”
“Why? There’s nothing in it for you.” You scoff, blinking from confusion. “Unless…is this some sick game? Seeing me like this– knowing that I’m– are you trying to gloat?”
“Gloat?” He repeats in almost a whisper, the hurt in his voice evident.
“Relish, rejoice, rub it in, I don’t know. You’re the walking thesaurus.”
He can tell from your lax posture that you're amused. Your back is against your door, hands behind your back and you’re leaning forward a bit as you stare at the ground. Not caring that your words cut deep.
Is this how low you think he is?
“Why would I be enjoying this?” His hopeful smile drops entirely as he tries to understand you. 
“Call it epicaricacy.” You shrug. 
“Epicaricacy?” He mumbles in a whispered tone, like he’s trying to process what you said.
Deriving pleasure from the misfortune of others.
Your eyes roll from how slow he’s acting and you have to hold yourself back from repeating the definition out loud.
“Do you honestly think I enjoy seeing you like this?” The change in pitch stings a bit. 
“No, I don’t think you like seeing me at all.” You half smirk up at him, sadness evident in your eyes. “Which brings us back to…why are you here Doc?”
“That’s not true.” He cringes, ignoring the second part.
“Not true?” You wiggle your brows sarcastically. 
“Not true.” He reaffirms, sighing deeply. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” 
“You’re sorry.” You scoff again, shaking your head.
“I know that I’ve been unreasonable–”
“Unreasonable?” The tip of your tongue rolls against the back of your teeth, bewildered at his sheer audacity. 
“A dick! I’ve been a dick.” He corrects himself, desperate to have you hear him out. 
You tighten your jaw, inhaling lightly through your nose and your brows are raised as high as they can go. 
“I was hurt. Okay? I wash lashing out, but, I–” He takes a deep breath to stop himself, wanting to get to the point. “I know that I’ve been acting otherwise but, I care about you. And when I found you back there…I just…I know what you’re going through, even if you won’t admit it. I don’t want you to go through it alone.”
Your expression softens as he speaks. Of course he knows. He knows you better than anyone. For a moment you consider allowing yourself to break down in his arms, like you would have once. It’s jarring, Spencer reverting to his former self after he saved your life. The comfort swiftly bubbles into anger. All your attempts for reconciliation were met with so much hostility before. It took you almost dying for him to care. It feels too little too late. The only thing you can think of as he stands next to you is all the ways he can further hurt you if you let him. You push off your door and stand straight, giggling bitterly. 
“Spencer, go home.” You say with the same bitterness. 
“Please–”
“Go home! I don’t want your pity!” You yell. It feels alleviating. “Do you honestly think that  anything changes just because you saved my life? Do you think it erases everything that’s happened in the past few months? Because it doesn’t! Things can’t go back to how they were simply because you feel bad that I almost died. It’s not a flip you can switch. You don’t just get to start caring!” 
You're heaving and he can only stare at the ground. He knows you’re right, except for the one crucial error in your speech. 
“I never stopped caring.” He mumbles.
This fucking idiot.
Enraged, sad, frustrated, confused; all emotions you’ve been suppressing that are now fighting to show at the same time. You take a step closer to him and he meets your eyes again. You can see that he’s holding back tears, same as you. It fuels you in a twisted way. You have an opportunity to hurt him the way he hurt you and you don’t let it go to waste.
“Don’t come back here. It’s hard enough at work to see your face at work, I don’t want to see it in my personal time too.” 
You can’t stay to see the effects of his words thrown back at his face, your heart’s threatening to burst from how fast it’s racing. His jaw locks from how tense he is. He knows exactly why you said it, but it’s still hard to hear. You turn around and rush into your apartment, shutting the door on his face, leaving him standing there. You don’t make it too far inside, collapsing on the wooden floor with a choked sob. 
That didn’t make you feel as good as you thought it would. You hoped that maybe if you could make him feel at least a fraction of you’re feeling, you’d hurt less. It was more than just getting back at him for everything he’s done. You were unknowingly trying to punish him for what Archie Carter did too. It didn’t make you hurt any less, but at least you felt less alone in your hurt. 
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He didn’t come back for the rest of your time off. Everybody continued to follow the roster, showing up on their days and bringing you ‘get well soon’ goodies. Penelope even invited herself over for a night's stay once. You didn’t have the heart to say no, but you found yourself counting the hours until you’d be alone again, free to wallow. The only respite you got for the next week was on Spencer’s days. You could expect to be left mostly alone, only a bag of take out accompanied by an eerily fitting quote sitting outside your door. 
You hate to admit that those were your favourite days. You had a chance to breathe and he somehow knew exactly what you needed to hear. You gave the food away in protest and the quote would go straight in the bin (once you read it). One final psych evaluation later you were cleared to come back. Not that you needed one since you didn’t plan to stay for long. It was really just a formality. By the time you returned only a few faded bruises remained, easy enough to cover with concealer. 
“You’re back! Ooh, it’s so good to see you!” Garcia was the first with a warm greeting and a tight hug. You reciprocated to the best of your ability. 
“Good to have you back, Pretty Girl.” Derek’s second, walking you through the bullpen as you make your way to Hotch’s office.
“Enjoy it while you can.” You giggle in reply. “Is Hotch in yet?”
“I see someone can’t wait to leave us.” Emily jokes, feigning a hurt look. You roll your eyes.
“Yeah, he’s expecting you.” JJ laughs, slapping Emily’s arm playfully. 
“Thanks JJ!” You smile and they all watch you disappear behind the door. 
“So it’s official? She’s really leaving?” JJ questions through a half-hearted smile. 
“I asked Rossi and he said that Hotch is gonna ask her to stay until we find a replacement.” Emily replies, still eyeing the door. 
“How did you get Rossi to admit that?” JJ turns to the raven head, questioningly, and Emily smiles coyly giving no response. 
“Am I the only one who thinks this whole thing would end once they make up? I mean come on, we all know she’s leaving because of him, right?” Morgan looks at Spencer, who’s nose deep in a file at his desk. 
“Yeah, but we can’t help if they refuse to talk to us about it.” Emily sighs, hanging her head back. 
The three dive deeper into their discussion and you’re none the wiser from inside the cream-coloured walls of Hotch’s office. As per protocol, he’s just finished informing you of what’s next and you’re kind enough to accept his request to stay until they find a replacement. You definitely said yes because you want to make the team’s transition easier, not for any self indulgent reasons such as you not being ready to leave. 
“Just return this to me once you’ve filled it out.” He instructs as he hands you a file containing your resignation forms. 
“Thanks Hotch.” You smile, grabbing the file. 
You begin heading towards the door when he stops you by your name. 
“I understand that you’re set on this decision, but I am sad to see you go.” It’s insane how many emotions this man can get across while maintaining a blank expression. “However, if you change your mind at any point, let me know.” 
“Thanks Hotch.” You playfully scoff, appreciating that even he has to try at least once. 
If one more person tries though, you might scream. It wasn’t easy, pretending that you weren’t crumbling inside. The extra pressure doesn’t make it any easier. You leave his office, closing the door behind you and approach your desk. The resignation forms are put aside for later as you still have to finish your case report from Anchorage. Part of you wanted to put it off until the last minute, the other part wanted to get it over and done with as soon as possible. 
“Coffee?” Penelope chirps, holding out a mug filled with the hot beverage. 
“Thanks Pen.” You smile up at her, taking it out of her hands. 
“No problem.” She smirks mischievously and trots off. 
A strange lady, but your strange lady.
Upon your first sip you almost choke it out. It was perfect. Exactly to your liking. Which would be a good thing, except only one person knows exactly how you like it. Back when you first joined, you learned how popular coffee was with all the employees. You felt out of place because you weren’t a massive fan of the drink and you avoided too much sugar because it made you feel sick. You soon discovered that you liked it a lot more with honey instead. It was a weird preference, but it worked for you, making it sweet without overpowering your senses like sugar did. 
You never declined a cup when offered by your colleagues, not wanting to dishearten them. It was Spencer who caught you sneaking honey into your cup when you thought no one was paying attention. He never mentioned anything to you, but the next time he returned with a cup to offer, you couldn’t help but the smile that adorned your face for the rest of the day. It was why you dedicated yourself to morning breakfast runs for him, memorising his coffee order as a silent thank you. Neither of you ever talked about it. 
You spin your seat around to find Spencer engaged in conversation with Rossi. You consider walking past him and dumping the beverage in the sink to make a point, but it was a welcome energiser for the dreadful task at hand. Plus you aren’t wasteful. You spin back around and decide to accept it just this once. 
When he’s sure you’re no longer looking he sets his sights back on you. A small smile forms across his lips when he sees you drink the coffee. He honestly expected you to throw it away. He feared that if he was the one to deliver the mug, you’d throw it on him. It was why he convinced Garcia to do it, bribing her by promising to buy a round of drinks on the next night out. 
“Kid, are you even listening?” Rossi scolds in an incredulous way. 
As the hours pass, your frustration grows. You couldn’t get yourself to write the details of the case. Your mind refused to think about it. You had hoped that taking breaks would make it easier, but everytime you returned to the page your head went blank.
“Need some help?” Spencer asks, spawning next to you.
“Christ, Reid!” You blurt, startled. “I thought I told you to stop doing that.” 
“Sorry.” He chuckles as if on cue. 
You glare at him expectantly. He doesn’t say anything, glancing between you and the unfinished case file, waiting for an answer. 
“No thanks.” You keep it short, hoping he takes the hint. 
“Let me know if you do.” He doesn’t. 
“You wouldn’t even be the last person I’d ask if I did.” You snark. 
“But you would eventually?” He stays calm, almost playful. 
Smart ass. 
You choose to ignore him, be the bigger person and all that. Even though he wasn’t antagonising you. 
“Thanks for the coffee.” It’s forceful gratitude. You weren’t feeling grateful, but you still had manners. 
“You’re welcome.” 
“Don’t make it again.” 
“I will not.” He grins and walks away to his desk. 
You act like you don’t know he’s watching you work. Looking up often to find you stuck on the same page. Even if he knew that you know, he didn’t plan to stop. What he does know is that you’d never directly let him help you. He doesn’t care. There weren’t any new cases this week, so a ton of paperwork was to be expected. It’s taunting enough to write down details of your own assault, the extra paperwork would only add more stress. You’re too busy trying to push through the mental blockade to notice the sudden influx of files on his desk and the efflux on yours. 
What you didn’t miss was how the next cup of coffee you were offered was just as perfect as the one from before. 
“I thought I told you to stop with the coffee, Reid.” You lightly slam the paper cup on Spencer’s desk. 
He leans back in his seat and chews on his lip with an entertained smirk. 
“And I did. That’s not from me.” He’s earnest with his response.
“Oh, so JJ just happens to know my coffee preferences all of a sudden?” You sarcastically retort, crossing your arms.
“No.” He crosses his fingers across his lap. “I told her how you like your coffee when she said she was going on a coffee run.”
“And why did you do that?” You play along, unenthusiastically. 
“Because you told me to stop doing it.” He states in the most casual way possible. 
This was getting you nowhere. It was naive to think he’d let you spend your last few weeks here peacefully. Scratch that– he was being peaceful. Too peaceful. A new tactic to get under your skin?
“Stop. It.” The delivery of your words is slow and emphasised. 
“Stop doing exactly what you’ve told me to?”
You bite your tongue and glare at him. His face, shoulders, arms, everything, is relaxed. You can’t even argue with him. You take a moment to consider how bad it would be if you bashed his head in with the back of your gun. Then you take another to critique how easy it is to pass the psych evals. They should really think about the consequences of using questions the BAU wrote on actual BAU agents. 
After that day you went back to ignoring him. Any time coffee was offered you’d decline altogether. If he attempted to try and talk to you, you’d respond with yes or no for the sake of professionalism. This didn’t deter Spencer though. He gave you your space but kept a close eye on you, continuing to try and ease your burdens from afar. Exactly how he used to. 
This only lasted until the next case came in. Specifically until you were back out on the field, where he perceived you to be in high amounts of danger. You tolerated it because it gave you comfort, not that you’d ever tell him. Having Spencer by your side made it easier to deal with the reality that there’s little you can do if another incident like Anchorage occurred. 
Plus focusing your energy on ignoring him kept the flashbacks away. Or it did, until the take down. You once again found yourself in danger from an unsub, only this time the situation was controlled. All guns were pointed at the killer, except for the one that was pointed at you. The plan was simple: you talk down the unsub, take him back to the station and talk him into exposing his partner. 
Everything was going according to plan, until Spencer realised that one of the cops in the room was his partner and he was about to shoot you. Nobody understood what happened before the situation calmed down. Spencer had fired the first shot towards the dirty cop and immediately tackled you to the ground, shielding you from the hail of bullets that followed after. All you remember clearly is freezing up, clinging to the man on top of you. One moment you were screaming out, trying to make sure that he was okay and the next you were back in the alley behind the bar, fighting for your life. 
You didn’t comprehend anything until the panic attack subsided but Spencer was fine. His vest caught the bullets. Both unsubs were dead. Rossi and Prentiss came to the realisation the same time as Spencer and were quick to react. And you weren’t in the alley. You were in Spencer’s arms as he led you away from the scene when it was safe. 
When you snapped out of it the medics had cleared him of any injuries. He tried to approach you during your check up, but you shoved him away, unable to even look at him. The only thing you remember clearly is Hotch sending you all back to your hotel rooms before tomorrow’s flight back. You should be asleep right now, if not from the exhaustion of today’s events alone, then from how long you spent reassuring everybody that you were okay. 
You couldn’t sleep. Not when so many thoughts were occupying your headspace. This is the second time Spencer’s saved your life, in the span of roughly a month. The first time he’s put his life in direct danger to save yours. Had it not been for his vest he would be dead. The more you linger on it, the angrier you’d become. You were also wearing a vest, you would’ve been fine. What he did was unnecessary and reckless. 
What if the bullet missed the vest? Entered through the side? What was he thinking?
You were mentally fighting the urge to barge into his room and yell at him for his stupidity, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go to him. What happens to him is not your problem anymore. You aren’t going to let your guard down just because he’s an idiot.
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Spoilers: BAU! Reader, Reader almost dies, Reader and Spencer are pissing me off, bc they’re so dumb, angst, hurt no comfort, Reader gets a little revenge.
AN - Before you comment ANYTHING, there is one more part. It’ll be posted a lot sooner than this one was. Writing this made me realise how limited the English language is. There’s only so many words to use and ways to write them. If either part sounds repetitive at times, it’s not my fault!!! Casual reminder: I am not Spencer Reid. I don’t have an IQ of 187. Any facts I make him spew could very well be bull-shit and he only spews them for the purpose of the story. I also have no knowledge of how the FBI works and lack a ton of common sense. A lot of things were made up for the purpose of this story.
If you comment you garner good karma for yourself and that could lead to you meeting MGG someday (I’m not liable if this never happens), think about that... 
Thank you for reading!
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yandere-daydreams · 1 year ago
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Not-So-Scary Moments With The Yan. Genshin Boys (Sumeru + Fontaine Edition).
Characters: Alhaitham, Neuvillette, Kaveh, Tighnari, Cyno, and Wriothesley.
Word Count: 2.7k.
TW: Borderline Shitposting, Prolonged Imprisonment, Varying Levels of Emotional and Physical Abuse, Codependency, Mentions of Stalking, and Unhealthy Relationships.
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Alhaitham
It took Alhaitham about ten minutes to drag himself out of bed, his staggered footsteps audible through the thin walls of his apartment.
It took twenty for him to haul himself through his morning routine – water running somewhere in the distance and porcelain clattering against marble countertops as he washed his face and tried to work some life into himself. Alhaitham usually wasn’t so lethargic, but he’d had a rough week. There’d been a sudden influx of paperwork for the Akademiya’s sole scribe, and every second he didn’t spend buried under new legislation and requests for increased budging was, instead, dedicated to one of his many personal research projects. By the time he’d gotten home last night, it’d been all he could do to make sure you hadn’t starved to death and drag himself to bed.
He usually would’ve kept you waiting for a few more minutes, but an agitated grunt marked an end to his normal patterns. In a moment, he was braced against the doorway to his own study, his eyes narrowed half-hearted towards where you sat in his leather-padded chair, your feet propped on his desk. There was an book open in your lap – one of his, something about metaphysics and ley line abnormalities and how both tied into the Inazuman politics. He eyed it wearily before speaking, his voice still deep with exhaustion. “Where did you put my hearing aids?”
His tone was accusatory, his irritation visible. You put on your sweetest smile. “Where did you put my novellas?” you signed, thinking for a moment before adding, “Bitch?”
“They aren’t ‘novellas’, they’re—” He cut himself off with a scoff. “They’re filth. I don’t want you rotting your brain with smut.”
“The plots are very—”
“The plots are half-baked excuses for paper-thin characters to fondle each other in locations you can tell the author didn’t take the time to properly research and—” His gaze flickered to you, his frown deepening. “Why are you smiling like that?”
“You’ve read them?”
There was a long beat of silence.
Finally, he let out a labored sigh. “The dozen or so I couldn’t be bothered to throw away are in a cabinet underneath the kitchen sink. It’s locked – the code is your birthday. Now, where are my aids?”
“You fell asleep with them on last night,” you said aloud, abandoning his glorified textbook and pushing yourself to your feet. His hand shot to the side of his head, finding the metallic cuff only slightly displaced by having spent the better half of the night on his head. As you passed him, you paused, pressing a kiss into the corner of his scowl and pretending to ignore the muffled groan he let out in response.
Neuvillette
Of all the sights you thought you might see after arriving in your wonderous new nation, the Iudex of Fontaine standing over your drained bathtub with a look of potent remorse written across his expression was not one of them.
You’d imagined yourself strolling through the walls of the Opera Epiclese in vivid detail, been able to picture exactly what you might’ve seen standing below the Tower of Ipsissimus or above the bottomless pit that was the entrance to the Fortress of Meropide, but even after you’d found yourself in the smothering care of Monsieur Neuvillette, you never would’ve been able to conjure this sight. He usually insisted that you bathe together, going so far as to have an in-ground tub that could’ve easily been mistaken for a hot spring installed in his (until recently neglected) personal residence to better indulge the habit. Thankfully, the trial he’d been presiding over had run long today, and you’d been able to save yourself an hour of his calloused hands running over your body, of his eyes burning into your skin with a nearly inhuman focus. You knew he’d be disappointed. Irate, even, depending on how his trial swung.
You hadn’t expected him to be so… sulky about it.
Half-lidded eyes, a slight pout tugging at the corner of his lips as he lingered idly in the doorway between your shared bedroom and the in-suite bathroom. Steam and silence laid heavy in the air – the latter you were eventually forced to break as you fiddled with the hem of your robe. “I’m sorry,” you muttered, hoping more to break the tension than to make him think you were genuinely apologetic. “It was getting late, and I didn’t know when you were coming home. I didn’t think you’d take it so personally.” When he didn’t respond, you braced yourself for the worst. “If you’re angry, please say so. I… I’d rather get this over with now, if it’s all the same to you.”
His expression softened. He let out an airy sigh and, with only a moment of hesitation, closed the space between you. “I’m not angry.” A pair of lean arms wrapped around your waist, his face soon buried in the crook of your neck. You heard him inhale, and did what you could to suppress the shudder that ran up your spine at the thought of him basking in your scent. “I’ve just been… looking forward to it, I suppose. Your taste relaxes me.”
Immediately, you went rigid. “My… taste?”
“Mhm.”
“Neuvillette,” you started, very slowly, giving your own mind time to catch up to the dread slowly building in the pit of your stomach. “Have you been drinking my bathwater?”
He was quiet for a not inconsiderable amount of time.
Finally, he pulled away from you just far enough to speak. “…no?”
For your own sake, you decided to believe him.
Kaveh
“Kaveh.”
“Not now, treasure.”
“Go to bed.”
“I will, in another hour.”
“You need to get some sleep.”
“I’ve already told you – I’m fine.” He narrowed his eyes, expression contorted by concentration. “Knight to B4.”
“Kaveh,” you repeated, leaning across the table. “You were showing me your blueprints.”
“Oh.” He blinked several times, looking over the sheet of blue paper marked with chalk drawings and near indecipherable hand-writing. “Were you impressed?”
Your frown irked, but you swallowed back your exasperation and pushed yourself to your feet. Slowly, you took him by the hand and, when he failed to protest, guided him out of his own seat and towards the room you were usually restrained to, when he wasn’t home. He’d kept himself awake for the past two nights, every moment of the past forty-eight hours devoted to finishing his proposal for a wealthy commissioner’s summer mansion before its upcoming deadline and, now that the coffee had been drained from his system and his adrenaline had been given time to fade, he was practically a shell of a man – all dark circles and hunched posture and disheveled blonde hair.
Sleep deprivation was, by far, the worst thing he could inflict on himself. At least he was happy after he drunk himself into oblivion. This was just depressing; as miserable for him as it was for you.
With a dutifulness you shouldn’t have had to show to your lover-turned-stalker-turned-captor, you brought him to his bed and watched as he collapsed onto it, what little strength he had to hold himself up immediately dissolving. With a sigh, a roll of your eyes, you turned to leave, but a hand lashed out from the crumpled heap and caught you by the wrist. “Stay with me?” His voice was muffled by layers of sheets and blankets, but clear enough. “Please?”
Usually, his bids for affection were met with bitter neutrality or, on your worse days, spiteful condensation. Usually, you would’ve torn yourself out of his hold and made sure he knew that he’d ruined any chance of living out his little domestic fantasy the second he decided his obsession was worth more than your happiness. Usually, you would’ve hated him that much more for daring to ask.
But, he could barely hold his eyes open and when you failed to immediately recoil, the sloppiest, most lovesick smile you’d ever seen plastered itself across his lips. It was his turn to pull you forward, this time; to drag you onto his bed and into his chest. With a satisfied sigh, he slotted his chin against the dip of your shoulder and draped his arms around your waist – an old position. A relic of better times you’d never been strong enough to completely dicard. “When it’s time to draw up the plans for our home,” he mumbled, only half-audible. “I won’t so much as breathe until its perfect.”
You opened your mouth, but didn’t say anything.
He’d already fallen asleep.
Tighnari
He glanced once at the thick packet of ink-marked parchment you’d slammed in front of him before looking back to you, his expression disparaging. “And this is supposed to be…?”
“A custody agreement,” you answered, grinning. “Alhaitham put it together during his last visit.”
“We don’t have any kids.”
“It’s for Collei. If I ever leave you,” and, to be clear, you would be leaving him, as soon as you figured out how to get away from a man who poisoned your tea whenever you so much as suggested entertaining a future that didn’t include him, “I want weekends and summers.”
“She’s nineteen.”
“Which is why we’re letting her pick who she wants to spend holidays with.” You tapped the front page with your knuckles. “Honestly, dear, if you weren’t going to so much as read the documents, we could’ve scheduled this for another day.”
His ears twitched, his tail sweeping across the floor in irritation. “Even if this was legally binding – which, by the way, something assembled by a scribe would not be – I would never give you weekends. That’d be too much travelling for a girl in her condition, and I don’t want her to feel like she comes from a broken home. Moreover, according to Regulation #531 as passed by the Grand Sage last year, you would have to get Collei’s signature before—”
“Check page twenty-seven.”
You watched him scowl as he thumbed through the pages. A second later, his ears flattened against his scalp, and he took to muttering under his breath. “Traitor.”
“If you don’t want your aggression towards the dependent party used against you in court, I’d suggest you sign on page four, seventeen, and thirty-two.”
You left his villa half an hour later with a with a new imprint of his fangs on the side of your throat and a signed document in-hand.
Cyno
“You have kidnapped me.”
“Technically, I was only—”
“You’ve blackmailed me, imprisoned me, and tortured me.”
“You can’t still be hung up on—”
“You’ve branded me with your name, forced me into your bed, and made me play out all your delusional, fucked-up fantasies—” You took a deep breath, pursed your lips. “—but if you show up to a black-tie event wearing that, it will be the worst thing you’ve ever done to me.”
He looked down, as if considering his attire for the first time. He was in his usual uniform – which was to say, shirtless and barefoot, his hair windblown and a fine layer of sand still coating what little he was wearing. You could only be thankful his polearm wasn’t slung across his back, but you knew he’d make it past the door without it. “The way I dress has never been a problem before.”
“There’s a difference between hunting down rouge scholars and going to a banquet being held by a literal god. Archons, Lesser Lord Kusanali herself might be there.” You gasped, dragged your hands over your face. “Everyone who’s ever gone to the Akademiya will absolutely be there.”
For all his many faults, he could never stand to see you in pain. There was a brief delay, a moment of unsure shuffling, then his arms were wrapping around you, his chest slotting against your back has he pulled you against him. “It’ll be alright,” he muttered, speaking into your shoulder. “If anyone so much as attempts to insult you—no, if anyone tries to talk to you at all, I’ll strike them down in the blink of an eyes.”
His comfort was stale, but you forced yourself to relax. At least enough to speak. “You know,” you mumbled, letting your hands drift to your temples. “Dehya was hired by an up-and-coming scholar, a few weeks ago. I’m not sure how long her contract was, but there’s a chance we’ll see her tonight.”
There was a beat of silence, then another.
“Cyno?”
“I’ll change.”
Wriothesley
You could hear him trudging up the metallic stairs to his office; his footsteps heavy enough to drown out the soft music flowing out of his century-old gramophone. His head emerged from the curving staircase, first – his hair somehow more disheveled than its usual state of barely-tamed chaos – then his chest, his tie undone and his collar terribly mangled, as if he’d spent all day indulging the worst of his nervous habits. He was baring his teeth, his pale cheeks flushed with anger and his eyes narrowed into a pointed glare. It wasn’t quite the reaction you’d hoped for (in your wildest dreams, he would’ve managed to sink his beloved fortress before he ever reached you), but it was close enough.
You moved to stand, to greet him with the warm embrace he usually demanded, but he was already in front of you, already pinning you to the back of the lounge you’d been splayed across with a single fist planted less than a hair’s width above your shoulder. “You,” he growled, leaning in close enough for his breath to fan over your skin. “Do you know how many journalistsI had to deal with today? They were everywhere. I couldn’t go a step without tripping over some— over some glorified tabloid.”
“So, your meeting with Monsieur Neuvillette went well?” His scowl deepened, and you let out your most faux innocent laugh – a chiming, bubbling thing he’d never been able to stand. “You shouldn’t scowl like that, love. All those photographers will have to find a new model if you manage to give yourself frown lines.”
He jolted, but forced himself to shut his eyes, to let out a long, ragged breath. When he did face you again, he’d regained a degree of his composure – just enough to meet your smile with his own tight-lipped grin, more teeth than anything. “I’ll let you off easy if you tell me how you did it now. Before I decide it’d be faster to strangle an explanation out of you.”
“I didn’t break any rules, if that’s what you’re worried about.” You paused, folded your hands over your lap. “It was all thanks to our great and benevolent duke. Contacting people outside of the fortress has gotten so much more efficient ever since you decided prisoners should be able to send letters without administrative vetting.”
He buckled visibly, his shoulders falling as he lean towards you, his face soon buried in the dip of your shoulder. “You’re gonna be the death of me, sweetheart.” There was a raspy chuckle, a hand on your thigh, squeezing just hard enough for his anger to shine through the playfulness of the gesture. “I think I’ve earned the rest of the day off, and I think you’ve earned—”
The door to his office swung open before he could finish, a masculine voice calling up from the voice below only a moment later. “Your grace, t-there’s a reporter here to see you! She says she’s been told not to leave until she speaks to your partner!”
“That’ll be Charlotte,” you half-sung. “She seemed like such a nice girl in her letters. It’d be a shame to keep her waiting.”
When he failed to answer, you brought up both hands and cupped his face, cooing as you used your thumbs to quirk the corners of his mouth upward.
“Just remember to smile for the camera this time, alright?”
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bunnycvnts · 8 months ago
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new bf!rafe getting babied while he’s sick & falling deeper in love
*+:。.。  。.。:+*
his room was dark despite being midday, thanks to the blackout curtains shielding an array of windows lining his bedroom walls. you tiptoed carefully into the room, easing the door shut gently with your foot, your hands occupied by the tray of goodies for your sick boyfriend. on the tray was a bowl of soup, tissues, two cool washcloths, and a freshly refilled water bottle.
earlier that day, it didn’t take long for you to realize rafe had come down with something. he had been moodier than normal, sneezing and coughing unnecessarily loud, and his nose had been rubbed raw from toilet paper. you ushered him quickly into his room, telling him to nap while you ran out to grab a few things. the trip took longer than you’d thought, and by the time you arrived back to tannyhill, the boy was out cold.
rafe felt the bed dip with weight, and a groan left his lips. his eyes fluttered open and closed repeatedly as you took his temperature. “‘m fine, babe. seriously. jus’ have a cold or something.” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, the thermometer showing a whopping 101.5 temperature, indicating a fever.
“mhm, i know. just humor me. will make me feel better knowing you’re getting some rest.” you knew how he was. he wouldn’t do anything for himself, but if it meant doing it for you…well, he could manage that. anything to please his girl. rafe nodded his head slightly, prompting you to carry on with your nurse facade.
offering the warm soup, he was quick to deny it, claiming his stomach was turning, and he definitely didn’t have any sort of appetite, so you left it on the tray resting on his desk. a moan of relief followed the cold cloth resting against his forehead and sliding down his skin.
“feels nice,” he grumbled out. your lips formed into a pout, as if you were looking at a sad puppy. he was just so cute, you couldn’t help but lean forward to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “i know, baby.”
rafes mouth upturned at the petname, always a sucker for verbal affection. his brain felt like mush, and he wasn’t entirely sure that you weren’t some figment of his imagination. a moment of weakness, leading him to conjure up someone who knew how to relieve some of the pain he was feeling and make his heart melt at the same time.
you helped him sit up, slipping some medicine into his mouth, followed by water to help him swallow it down. his chest was bare, a light sheen of sweat sweeping across his skin. you were quick to grab the second cloth and gently run it down his chest, cleaning him off and easing the heat he felt. goosebumps rose on his skin at the cold cloth, despite his moans of relief.
his eyes had remained mostly closed, peaking at you sometimes when you’d stop touching him, wondering where you’d gone, but each time he was met with a sweet kiss to his cheek and another swipe of the cold cloth among various areas of his skin. his heart felt heavy with love as you cared for him, gazing at you each time you turned away to grab different items for him. you were like an angel, swooping down and holding his heart in your hands, bringing it back to health.
when the cloth ran warm from his heat, you placed it back on the tray, so you could use it again later after running it under some water. your hand met his forehead, trying to gauge his temperature, even though you already knew what it was.
“my poor baby, bet you feel so icky right now.” you pouted down at him, watching as his cheeks flushed deeper.
“stop it. i’m fine.” his words did nothing to stop the smile forming on his lips. he was a sucker for your sweet words. he forced his eyes open to look at you, raising his arms out to gesture you in.
“baby, you have a fever. i know you’re too warm; cuddling won’t help.” despite your response to his gesture, it didn’t take much to convince you, which you proved as you lay next to him when he grumbled at you. rafe rested his head on your skin, feeling the coolness of it against his cheek. “just for a sec, promise. jus’ a second.”
you laid there for the rest of the night, as he had quickly fallen back asleep on you. your soft skin and scent, which he loved so much, provided more comfort than a cool washcloth or some warm soup ever could.
taglist: @sunkissedrafe
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womanmanipulator · 7 months ago
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prove your love
spencer reid x bau!fem!reader
synopsis: lila gives your boyfriend heart eyes. when he’s assigned to stay over at her place you’re pissed. when spencer comes home, he makes sure to show his love for you. SMUT!!! minors dni
warnings: dom/sub, praise kink, oral sex (fem receiving), piv, various positions, overstimulation, pet names such as trouble, sweetheart, love, etc. very cheesy.
~
you slip your heels off in the hall with an aggravated huff. ‘look on the bright side, the case is over.’ your brain tries to tell you but the many sights and experiences of lila disrespecting you and glaring at you wasn’t going to leave your brain anytime soon. meanwhile, spencer got the opposite treatment, compliments, heart eyes, and lingering handshakes the entire time. she even slipped him her number, that little—
“hey,” spencer says, knocking you out of your thoughts. he can tell your brains conjuring something up. he can practically see the cogs turning in your head. “what’s got you so worked up?” he asks, taking a step towards you. his hands settle on your hips then travel to your lower back. he smiles down at you.
“nothing.” you dismiss, light and airy. trying to act unbothered. “why do you think i’m mad?” you question back, a little too defensive for your liking. “are you asking me to profile you?” he grins. you don’t get the chance to speak before he starts, “for starters, you practically ripped your heels off and threw them, you’re all tense, your fists were balled up and i can tell your thinking hard about something.” he exaggerates.
“you’re wrong because i am perfectly fine.” you state matter of factly. brushing his hands off you and walking to the bedroom. he follows after you. “holding in emotions, specifically anger, can have detrimental effects on one’s mental health. the constant internal struggle to suppress emotions can lead to even more stress, anxiety and even depression.” spencer explains. you just hum in response, searching in your closet for something comfortable, your mind doesn’t stop running about stupid lila though. he watches you. it wasn’t uncommon, he loved to observe you. most of the time it was just to see your pretty face while you were in thought but other times he liked to study your behavior and learn your routines. spencer liked to do it with you.
“you’re staring,” you comment. “i can’t help it.” he flirts. “oh please, did you tell lila that too today?” you let slip. you flush. glad you aren’t face to face with spencer right now. “that’s what this is about?” he chuckles. “cmere,” he says. you stumble over to the bed and he pulls you onto his lap. “you know i love you right?” he says. you nod. not looking at him. “so much, like i am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you, or whatever bella said.” he makes a twilight reference. you were the one who forced him to watch it. you giggle a little, meeting his eyes. he smiles. “there’s my girl.” he murmurs. your heart swoons. his hands settle on your waist and he leans in. you kiss, it’s almost like a breath of fresh air. when he pulls away, still keeping close he speaks. “i think i need to prove how much i love you, hmm?” he hums. “you don’t need to.” you mumble. “but i want to, please?” he pleads. you don’t protest for long. “okay.. if you must.” you giggle. he smiles. he’s so pretty you feel like your going to explode.
as he places you on your back, unbuttoning your shirt, he starts to spit out another fact. “did you know men are more jealous of sexual infidelity than emotional?” he asks. “women are actually the opposite, they get more jealous with ‘emotional cheating’ than sexual.” he takes his time, you always loved how smart he was. it turned you on.
“i wasn’t jealous,” you say. “oh really?” he snorts. slipping off your shirt. “yeah.” you say. he instructs you to lift your hips so he can slide your pants off. “mhmm..” he says. eyes focused on your body, he’s too distracted to make a smart comment. “she was pretty, i guess.” you try to say. lila was gorgeous. he just chuckles and shakes his head. not bothering to comment. he dips down and kisses you. nose accidentally bumping against yours and teeth clashing. it was messy, just how you liked it. “what was that thing about kissing and shaking hands?” you ask, just to hear him talk.
“the number of pathogens transferred from just a single handshake is staggering. it’s safer to kiss,” he says into the skin of your neck. “that’s interesting, tell me more.” you smile. he groans. “i can tell you all about it later, can’t i just take care of my baby now?” he smiles. “baby? what happened to trouble?” you grin. “you are trouble,” he sighs. lovingly of course. you giggle as he kisses down from your neck to your collarbone, then unbuckles your bra without struggle. pulling it off. he trails down to your tummy, pressing little kisses here and there. making you antsy. he reaches the spot you need him most and smiles into your skin as you squirm a little. “patience, trouble.” he says. he plants a firm kiss on your hipbone and pulls your panties down with one hand. “you’re so pretty,” he smiles. eyes flickering to your face. “all mine, hmm?” he hums and you nod enthusiastically. he chuckles and thumbs experimentally at your clit.
you press your hips up into his touch, leaning into it. chasing that feeling. he smirks, inserting two fingers slowly. he paws at that spongy spot within your walls. you let out a quiet moan and spencer doesn’t deem it good enough, he starts punching at the spot. abusing it almost. this pulls another moan out of you and he speeds up the movements on your clit. you almost see heaven as you arch your back, eyes rolling back. he leans down, attaching his lips on your clit and sucking harshly. thank god you weren’t standing because you would’ve doubled over with how strong your orgasm was. you try to get the words out but only pant. spencer can tell, “gonna cum, trouble?” he asks. then continues his attack on the bundle of nerves. the coil in your belly snaps, climaxing with his name on your lips.
the sound of your slick fills the room as spencer works you through your organism. eyes trained on your pussy. his fingers are pulled out, given a quick lick and suddenly his mouth is on you. lapping and drinking up your release like a man starved. “spence, wait— gimme a minute-“ moan.
your begs fall on deaf ears as he’s absolutely lost in you. there’s no pulling him out. you reach your hand down and bury it in his hair. pressing your hips into the bed to escape the overstimulation. trying to tug him off, he doesn’t listen though. moaning into you when you pull on his hair. the vibrations make you even more sensitive before, his nose brushes up against your clit as two strong hands come to hold you down on either side.
you moan, tears pricking in your eyes from the overstimulation. everything’s magnified by 10. the obscene sounds of your pussy fill the room as your poor clit is abused, spencer’s tongue prodding into you, milking you for everything you have to offer. the familiar hear fills your belly and you can feel the coil start to unwind. “spence—“ you sob. cumming again. riding against his face. you can feel that bastard smirk against you as he greedily laps up your release. “you’re okay,” he coaxs. finally pulling off of you. he presses a kiss to your mound then pulls himself up, he kisses your cheek. then wipes the stray tears on your cheek.
“hi pretty,” he says with a smile. your eyes meet his and you smile, a little dazy. “you have something on your face.” you say, remaints of cum. “do i?” he chuckles. he wipes it off with the back of his hand and kisses you. you can taste yourself on his tongue. “love you so much,” he mumbles against your lips. you don’t get the chance to respond before he’s kissing you again. a little tongue slipping in as he gets carried away. he messily kisses the corner of your mouth, then latches onto your neck. he works at his zipper, multitasking.
begrudgingly, he pulls away from you, slipping down his pants and kicking them off haphazardly. you tug at his shirt and he takes the hint to pull it off. undoing his tie and throwing it somewhere. when he FINALLY takes his shirt off you get to run your hands along his torso giddily. “y’so pretty,” you mumble. “this isn’t about me, it’s about you, trouble.” he says. slipping off his boxers. his cock slips angrily against his stomach and you almost whine. he leans down and kisses you as he slowly pushes in. the stretch burns but is bearable. “i know. its okay,” he whispers. he presses to the hilt, nudging against your cervix. you feel full, his hand slithers down and presses against your lower belly. “mmphh.” you whimper against his lips. he devours the sound and keeps his lips on yours as he starts to thrust in and out of you. pulling his head back to see your face every so often as the tip nudges against that sweet spot. it’s torturous how slow he’s going. you’re so overstimulated, tears start falling out of your eyes.
he smiles down at you, picking up the pace a little. his face contorts and he lets out a moan. you involuntarily clench at that and it punches out another sound. “trouble— can’t keep doing that.” he slurs. the wet sounds of him shoving your slick out of you fill the room as your hips collide. teeth and noses brush together messily and he’s practically devouring you. everything’s happening so fast. before you know it you’re coming again, his name recited on your lips. he works you through it, slamming into you with a feverish pace. you constrict around him and he’s not long after you, pressing himself as far as he can into you and coming. he’s whining,
you pant, he’s collapsed ontop of you. buried in your neck. tears roll down your face. “good girl, good job. taking me so well.” he praises breathily. taking? “..taking..?” you say. “don’t you mean took?”
“we aren’t done.” he lifts himself up from your shoulder, pushing his glasses up. the both of your climax leaks around his dick and spills out of you slowly. “i can’t!” you start to cry as he pulls out, he presses your knees to your chest and shoves himself back in. so much for catching your breath. “you will,” he says softly. beginning to thrust in and out of you, he’s so deep you feel it in your stomach. “that’s it, my good girl huh?” he praises into your neck, a pang of arousal shoots through your body and you can feel yourself get wetter. “spence—“ “none of the whining, you can take it.” he says. he bites at your jawline. you moan loudly. everything feels so good, it’s too much. he reaches down and starts to rub figure eights into your clit gently, a contrast to the brutal pace he had going. “there ya go, taking me so well.” he murmurs, pulling his teeth off and kissing gently. “ah- i- gonna.. cum.” you force out. almost forgetting how to talk. “let go baby.” he says. your back arches, eyes rolling back, clinging to him as if he was the one keeping your grounded. he follows after, shooting cum into you with a whimper and a “nngh.”
it’s unreal. you see stars.
when you come down from your high, your sat on spencer’s lap, dick still intact. you sob, falling into his shoulder and clinging onto him. “i can’t spence.” you sniffle from the overstimulation. if you had to come again you’d probably scream. you’d also scream though if he pulled out.
“the world record for most female orgasms in an hour is a hundred and ah- fuck, thirty six” he says as you clench around him. “i think you can.” he smirks. you push his glasses up.
you bite back, “nerd.”
-
that’s it
not proofread
i’m sick asf rn 🥰
2K notes · View notes
catboyieejeno · 2 years ago
Text
nct dream reaction ¡! ❞
"i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
content: smut, cursing, mature, pet names (baby, babe, doll, etc.)
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18+ ! minors do not interact
masterlist
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ mark lee
mark had spent the last few hours hunched over the soundboard, paper and pen clutched in hand as he racked his brain for something, anything that would make the verse he was writing not entirely dull. but it was so hard to think, to conjure a single logical or productive thought, when you were sat right beside him, doing what you were.
your fingertips are scratching at his scalp, right above the nape of his neck. meanwhile, your other hand busies itself on his thigh, nails tracing random shapes over the material his sweats. frustrated, tired, and in a haze of unorganized thoughts and ideas, mark rolls his head back into the palm of your hand with a low hiss.
“something about this verse doesn't sound right,"
"i think you've just been looking at it too long," you press your lips softly into his cheek and he sighs at the feeling.
"maybe," hums mark, "i just want to finish already,"
"what if,” you whisper, “you take a break for a few minutes, that way you can look at it with new eyes, find out what’s wrong with it.”
the feeling of your breath on the shell of his ear makes his hair stand on end. the bare minimum— that’s all you have to do and you have mark’s head spinning, analyzing whether or not your alleged ‘break’ really implied something else. immediately, he feels the blood rush to his-
what is he doing? he needs to keep working on the song.
he shakes his head. mark readjusts his pants, but the gesture doesn't go unnoticed by you. you're quick to catch the way he fixes himself and wipes the sweat off his palms. “babe,” he tries.
“yes?” your voice is sweet and airy, resembling a pant, with fingers lightly trailing his waistline.
“baby.” there’s an underlying warning to his tone this time; nevertheless, you can sense the bit of desperation he fails to hide.
with your thumb, you lift the waistband and slip your hand inside in one smooth motion. at the same time, your lips attach to his neck.
"i need to finish the song," his head tilts to make space for you, contradicting his words, and you smirk against his skin as you feel him gulp.
"you need a break, baby,"
"mmph," why did you have him so hooked, "no, i need to work-"
"then work," you place your hand on him over his underwear, "no one's stopping you,"
you're giving his bulge a squeeze, teeth grazing his neck, when mark mentally thanks the heavens that he's sitting. otherwise, he's sure his knees would've given out.
"yeah, but," he gasps, "i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ huang renjun
"jun,"
renjun hums in response, not looking up from the book on his chest. he's lying down, eyes scanning the text on the pages while his other hand rests on his stomach, fingers bouncing mindlessly.
with a pout settled on your bottom lip, you sit beside him on your knees, practically begging for any bit of his attention.
all of your attempts to divert his focus away from that damned book have been overlooked. you tried changing your shirt, toying with your bra, and nothing. he didn't even bother to try and sneak a glance when you pulled up your skirt, flashing your pink panties at him.
it was all getting rather annoying.
daringly, your place your hand over his, maneuvering it slowly down until you stop right over his crotch.
"tsk tsk," he moves his hand back up, "what are you doing?"
"junnie," you mewl, fingers tracing the outline of him.
he remains unmoving until you decide you've had enough. when your hand goes into his pants, his lips part slightly, sharply drawing in a breath, and his eyes finally break away from the page to look at you. they're wide open in shock.
"i've been trying to get your attention for the last 20 minutes,"
"well, you should've just asked." he laughs, sounding a little cocky. your eyes narrow at him when he speaks again, "i'll make it up to you, baby," when he goes to close the book, you stop the motion of your wrist, a devilish idea coming to mind.
"no,"
"what?"
"i want you to keep reading," you say matter-of-factly. he's taken aback when your strokes get bolder and you feel him getting harder in your hand, "since you didn't want to pay any attention to me, you can keep reading."
"but i wanna make you feel good-"
"keep reading or i'll stop."
renjun picks up his book hurriedly and flips it open to where he left off. this time, when you pull your shirt off, his eyes are roaming your skin rather than the words of his novel, shallow breaths leaving his parted lips.
he's fully hard now, a flustered mess, uttering whispered pleas of your name.
"baby, that feels so-" he whines quietly.
"focus on your book."
"i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck." his hips buck up into your hand, book falling to the side as he comes into your fist.
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ lee jeno
about five minutes ago, you were cursing the day you ever let your boyfriend talk you into working out with him.
jeno is normally sweet, shy, affectionate, considerate, but for some reason, when he steps through the doors of the gym, he discovers each and every new way to push all of your buttons.
he’d try to… encourage you throughout your routine, which resulted in you guys bickering the whole way home because he “just couldn’t let you do it at your own pace.” that, or he’d all-together forget about you until he was done with his own work out, headphones plugged in and blasting for 2, sometimes even 3 hours.
tonight, he had dragged you to a small gym that he claimed had less people, for your comfort and his privacy as an idol, and while that was true, you couldn’t help but think to yourself, of course there’s going to be less people— no one is at the gym at two in the fucking morning.
now, however, you’re leaning against the wall, fully over even attempting to finish your work out, watching as jeno does his usual bicep curls in nothing but his tiny black shorts and a matching tank that is skin-tight.
his jaw is locked and tense, face twisting as he strains while pulling up the weights during the rep. sweat makes the ends of his hair stick to his forehead, and when he’s done, he huffs, chest heaving. even the way he grabs his water to gulp it down is messing with your head.
yeah… maybe you didn’t hate the gym that much.
you don’t know what’s different about today, but you’ve been rubbing your thighs together for the last 30 minutes, hoping he’d announce soon that he’s close to done. when that moment never comes, you take matters into your own hands.
“hi, jen,” you stride over to him, a sly smile playing at your lips.
“hey, pretty baby. i’m almost finished, i just have to do-“
blatantly disregarding what he was talking about, you lean in until your lips are kissing the corner of his, “i can’t watch you work out anymore,” you whine, “it’s driving me crazy,”
confused and oblivious as ever, jeno pulls his eyebrows together, “well, i’m sorry, i thought you liked coming here with me-“
“not that kind of crazy, love,” your hand grabs his, guiding it between your legs, “the kind where i want you to bend me over any piece of equipment in here.”
“w-wha-well, i uhm-“
he swallows thickly when you bring your other hand into his shorts, grabbing his dick and pumping it a few times. his hand stays between your legs, though he doesn’t move.
“baby, i promise,” he pants, “this is my last set and then i’m taking you home and we can-“
“why can’t we do it here?”
“are you insane? what if somebody comes in? i have-shit- i have one more set and- ohh, aah-“
“jeno?”
"i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
jeno’s arm flies back to lean his weight against whatever machine is behind him, trying to stay upright. his fingers finally start moving, rubbing some much needed friction to the spot between your legs. his brain has become mush in less than 2 minutes, lost in the pleasure that you’re giving him. his work out is long forgotten as he groans out your name.
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ lee donghyuck
"you can't sleep with your makeup on, doll," hyuck grumbles, "stop fighting me on this,"
he straddles your lap to keep you from wiggling around, hovering over you with a make-up removing wipe wrapped between his long fingers.
his cheeks are a delicious shade of red, shiny from the sheer layer of sweat that covers his pretty features. he looks boyish and unruly, hair falling messily over his glossed-over eyes as they stare into your own.
your face is surely mirroring his, flushed from all of the drinks in your system. what started as a date night with your boyfriend ended with you having close to a bottle and half of wine each, not that you’re complaining. his body is warm above yours, clouding your judgement more than the alcohol ever could. greedily, your hands wander up his thighs.
hyuck is rambling and slurring distractedly, using the scented wipe to gently swipe away the remnants of product from under your eyes, "it's not good for your skin if you leave your makeup on, you know that-" you can't even focus on what he's lecturing you on because his lips are stained red from the wine, and he seems to have been licking them, given how wet they are.
"hyuck, baby."
"-yes?"
you pucker up your lips, "give me a kiss."
he complies with a cheeky smile, mouth molding obediently against yours. he lets out a throaty moan at your affection.
your fingers fly to the button on his jeans, undoing them. hyuck quickly pulls back, “baby, let me take off your makeup first,”
“but i wanna feel you,” you mumble innocently, hands reaching for the hem of his underwear.
“oh, believe me,” as maliciously as ever, he tongues his cheek, eyebrows wiggling, “you will.”
working as fast and gently as possible, he continues to wipe your face, jaw tightening as you grope him, “hmm, y/n.”
“what’s wrong, baby?”
"i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck." his head falls into the crook of your shoulder and he shudders at the feeling of your cool hands wrapping around his base. under your palm, you feel him twitch, but hyuck is determined to remain unfazed and not engage in your little game until he’s done.
he composes himself and sighs. another wipe is taken from the pack, softly cleaning your forehead and cheeks.
“shit–alright,” he seethes as you squeeze his tip. hyuck tosses the wipe aside, grunting. your boyfriend roughly grabs your face with one hand, making you stop your teasing, “all done.”
instantly, he leans in, letting his lips meet yours again. this kiss is more lustful than the last; it’s sloppy and needy, and when he pulls away for air, he stays so close that he practically breathes his next words into your mouth, “i should’ve left your makeup on so you could watch me ruin it.”
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ na jaemin
it's unfortunate that you're a light sleeper, seeing as it makes it quite difficult for your boyfriend to do something nice for you.
this morning, jaemin had woken up an hour before you usually do with the intention to surprise you by making breakfast and delivering it to you in bed.
he had everything worked out: he set his alarm on his phone and kept it tucked under his pillow so he could rush to silence it once he woke up, hoping that you'd continue to sleep undisturbed. from there, he rolled out of bed as quietly as possible, tip-toeing out of your bedroom and into the kitchen to make you the best breakfast-in-bed ever.
everything was going according to plan, until now. he had just scooped the first bit of pancake batter into the pan when the padding of your feet alerts him of your presence. your arms wrap around his waist, nose nuzzling into his back.
like a child who didn’t get his way, jaemin whines out and stomps his feet a bit, "babe, you weren't supposed to be up yet.”
"i felt you get up, jaem," you laugh, "let me help you-"
"nope! you're not allowed to do anything. this was supposed to be a surprise,"
"alright, fine."
when you try to pull away to get ahead on the dishes, jaemin's hand drags you back in, right to where you were on his waist.
well, if he won't let you let you help in the kitchen, maybe you can help a different way.
mischievously, your teeth graze his back and shoulders, hands sliding under his shirt to feel the muscles on his stomach, which immediately tense at the contact of your cold fingers. when your actions elicit a reaction from him, a small knowing scoff that told you that he knew exactly what you were up to, you continue your efforts, trailing down to loosen the drawstrings of his joggers.
"oh, yeah," he hums when you touch him. no more than a second later, the free hand that isn’t busy flipping pancakes comes down to wrap over yours, guiding it up and down on his length, “you’re so naughty.”
"i just wanna repay you for getting up early to make me breakfast,"
"if you keep going," he whimpers, "i might end up wanting something else for breakfast," jaemin's chest is heaving at this point.
"the food's gonna burn," you half-heartedly warn, mercilessly continuing your pace.
"well, it just might 'cause i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
there's a clattering noise when the pan is pushed back and off the heat, the spatula dropping onto the counter as jaemin pulls your hand and his from his pants.
he quickly flips off the stove and turns to you, hands wrapping around your thighs to pick you up, situating you on the empty kitchen island.
“breakfast can wait.” he mumbles, then captures your mouth in a kiss.
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ zhong chenle
“chenle.”
“the game’s almost over,”
“chenle!”
“there’s 10 minutes left!”
“you’re watching highlights! you can literally watch those whenever!”
“now is also whenever!” he cleverly retorts.
okay, think. that’s the third video he’s watched in a row, the third time he’s fed you the same explanation and promised that this highlight video would be the last.
so, think: how can you get him off his stupid phone?
“you wanna watch your highlights? okay,” you shrug, sitting beside him on the couch.
“okay?” he asks, as if your previous statement is entirely foreign to him, and truthfully, it is. you had never given up so easily before. in fact, chenle had grown to love the banter. half of the time, the only reason he really insists on watching his highlight clips for so long is because he loves to watch you yearn for his attention.
“yep.”
“i’ll be done after this one,” he reminds you, watching closely for your reaction.
you nod nonchalantly, “right.” and give him a forced smile.
you give him a few seconds to get back into the video before you bring your hand over to his thigh. as expected, he doesn’t say anything, continuing his act in hopes that you’ll go back to urging him to shut the video off.
but this time, unlike the others, you remain just as stoic, sneakily inching closer and closer. it’s only a matter of time before he catches on, so you reach over in one motion and undo the button of his pants, putting your hand inside.
oh. so that’s your play?
you catch onto the way his eyes widen for a fleeting moment, but he’s quick to cover it up.
gently, you rub him, leaning in to leave kisses on his cheek, the kind that are so light and soft that they invite goosebumps to spread through his neck and arms.
he resists all urges to shudder or succumb to your touch; instead, he opts for taking his bottom lip between his teeth, a last measure to remain sane as you pleasure him. he can’t care less about the highlights anymore, but he’s stubborn and refuses to lose, so his eyes stay locked on the screen although his thoughts are entirely elsewhere.
you’re supposed to beg for him, not the other way around.
but that’s easier said than done, especially when you’re palming him, pre-cum leaking from his tip as his mind wanders off the game, clinging to everything that is you.
chenle squeezes his eyes shut for a second.
“what’s the matter?”
“nothing.” he says through gritted teeth.
you keep toying with him, bringing your other hand to the button of your own shorts. at this, chenle’s eyes snap over and he mentally curses, blowing air through his nostrils harshly.
his fingers are turning white from the way he’s gripping his phone with so much force. every stroke of your hand is wearing him down, bringing him closer to his climax, but he doesn’t want to finish yet, not before he’s been inside of you.
“chenle, baby, you’re not even watching-“
“yeah, i know, that’s because i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
ੈ♡˳
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ park jisung
“and then, if you press these buttons, your attack upgrades and deals more damage…”
if you’re being honest, everything jisung has said about his new switch game, which he’s explaining to you with so much interest and passion, is going in one ear and out the other.
it’s not that you don’t care, you do! you’re more than happy to sit and listen to him go on about something he’s excited about, but you simply don’t know what’s gotten into you today.
all you can seem to focus on is him.
his lips are plump, looking softer and more kissable than ever, and you think you may pass out when his tongue darts out to wet them. now, they’re glossed over, just like his pretty brown eyes that reflect the video game screen from the console resting on his chest.
your leg lies across his body, unable to keep still with the ache starting to flourish at your core. you’re practically grinding on his thigh and he’s oblivious as ever.
the fingers that hug his waist have now developed a mind of their own: they dance over his stomach and travel south until they make their way under jisung’s waistband.
“what-“ he clears his throat to cover the way his voice cracks, “what are you doing?”
“what are you talking about?”
all of his muscles tense up, “with your, uhm, hand?”
“oh,” you feign surprise, batting your eyes with innocence as if there could be no another reason your hand was holding his crotch, “it’s warm, my fingers were getting cold,”
he nods rather awkwardly, mumbling something that implies he understands and tries to continue with his explanation.
key word: tries.
his speech is a mess and a nervous sweat has broken out on his forehead. he’s even begun to explain things about the game wrong, spewing out nervous laughs in between weak apologies.
as hard as he’s trying to keep his act together, there’s one thing that blatantly gives him away. under your hand, you can feel him getting hard, and he knew it, too.
the entire time he’s talking, he’s growing harder and harder in your palm and you just cant resist moving a bit.
“aah, that feels-“
“so, what does that character do, again?”
jisung blinks at you with wide eyes, an look of disbelief on his face. after a pause, he answers you quietly.
“they—mmh, they shoot these uhm-“
you nod teasingly, “uh-huh?”
“these fireballs that-“ defeated, he groans out, “baby…”
“woah, fireballs?!”
“baby, i’ll tell you about the game later. right now, i-“ he sets the switch aside and you pout in false disappointment.
“what? why?”
"because—i can't focus with your hand down my—oh, fuck."
ੈ♡˳
3K notes · View notes
14thgalerie · 1 year ago
Text
you know other women?
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• pairing: theodore nott x reader
• now playing: my kind of woman by mac demarco / sad girl by lana del rey
• word count: 1.2k
• genre: smut (suggestive)
— not proofread again. i just wanted to write a short one because i haven't been in the mood to write anything and it feels shitty. also this is the last time i'm writing something like this, i just wanted to try it out. took the idea from this request!
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“You’re the most jealous woman I know!”
There was silence for a moment. Your thumb and pointer finger slipped under his chin and grasped it gently, making him look up at you from his seated position. Your stormy eyes were a bit darker than normal. His heart skipped a beat at the close proximity you were in now. 
“You know other women?”
Theo didn’t utter a word, his silence speaking volumes, proven more by the tremble in his lower lip. 
“Theodore.”
He pulls back from your touch. Eyes fixated on the intricate natural curves of the grains of the wooden floor. Tracing every line. Ignoring the pulsing beat that hammers against his chest. He does this for what internally felt like hours that they didn’t even look like lines anymore. It looked like something else, indecipherable.
“I am talking to you and if you don’t look at me for another second longer…” Your voice trails off in a terrifying tone that makes his head tilt up in less than a millisecond.
“Answer me.”
“Well…of course I know them, but that doesn’t mean I talk to them, you know?” The twitch in his speech is noticeable even by the breeze that passes through the open window. The unbothered, amused tone that he tried to emulate is useless as you remain standing there unimpressed.
Still, and locked in on him like he was a prey. Almost daring him to make another slip of the tongue. 
His mouth hangs open while he flounders in his position, his brain wracking for anything to save him from whatever it is you seem to be planning in your mind.  
“Y/N. Darling. You do know that, right? Just like how you’re the only woman that I even let near me?” 
Compared to earlier, he finds a sense of confidence to look you directly in the eyes. When you make no move to recognise this, he takes it as a sign to continue.
“And I was only playing with you earlier. It didn’t mean anything other than a simple teasing to get you riled up. It was just in the heat of the moment.” He said tremulously. Well aware that he looked and sounded like a mess, spilling whatever his mind could conjure up.
Not a part of him could pinpoint exactly what it was you were thinking, but one thing he knew was that he wouldn’t be spared. But frankly? He couldn’t help but feel a sense of nervous excitement coursing through him.
A tiny voice inside his head inviting him to keep on with the constant rambling that surely worsened his sentence. 
Deep in his thoughts as he tries to expel them, he doesn’t notice how you have come closer, now standing a mere arm’s length away from him. 
“You are mine only. It’ll do you well to remember that.”
The only response his body allows him is a timid nod as you press your thumb on his lower lip, pulling it down. They make a path of tingles as it travels along the sharp features of his face drawing out a whimper from him. 
His breath catches in his throat as your hands tighten around the velvety strands of his chocolate-brown hair, tugging it until he is forced to meet your gaze.
“Your touch, your gaze, they are mine. Only I will hear the way you pathetically beg.”
Nothing more is said as you lean down and, surprisingly, gently press your lips to his. The familiar pair that he has craved since it last touched his hours ago. He ignores the slightly cracked skin; dry from the screaming match you’ve been at for a while.
It was slow. Passionate. Desperate. It fueled a fire deep within the pit of his stomach, travelling downwards.
His hands are wild and rough as they grapple at whatever part of you they can touch; your hips being its choice. But despite this amusing attempt to regain control of the situation, he remains vulnerable to your touch. 
When you pull away from him, unknowingly, he follows your movement, chasing after that addicting warmth. One that you generously gave as you moved to leave a path of open-mouthed kisses along his jaw. 
You don’t pause in your actions as you move your legs to sit on either side of him, his hands mindlessly moving along your lower back to secure you in his lap. Something that sends tingles straight to your core.
His insides were burning him from the inside out, flames consuming him. Intensified as you move towards a sensitive spot, rendering him into a groaning mess under you.
“You wanted this didn’t you?” You taunt playfully, a sly smirk forming in the corner of your mouth. “Tried to provoke me to give you attention?”
To which he tries to deny with meaningless words as his body contradicts them. Thrusting upwards to meet your cruel torment. To feel a sliver of relief in his tightening trousers. His hands, which moved to your hips sometime between your teasing, helped guide you in the back-and-forth motion against his groin. 
“Look at you.” You whisper against his ear, biting his earlobes lightly. Tracing your fingers along his chest, drawing lines and curves. “Can other women have you writhing like a deprived man also? I’d be so delighted to see if they can even come close.”
He stares at you as you draw back with wide, unblinking eyes, and a slackened jaw as heavy exhales pass through his ajar lips. “No.”
“I don’t care for them, I just want you, please.”
Forgetting all sense aside, leaving it for future him to figure out, his lips found yours again. Tongue delving to explore the hollow of your mouth, while his hands continue to move you just to feel that fire blooming in his core finally be released. It seemed that maybe you were gracious enough to let him do it, despite the obvious act of disobedience that you punished him for.
The moans that were like music to your ears were pathetic enough for you. Getting louder that he had to push his head against your chest to muffle the sounds that others outside must have heard already. You run your fingers through his hair, something that always pushed him off the brink of his high. 
In his desperation, he never forgets about you and draws his dominant hand between your bodies straight towards your clothes core before you roughly grasp his wrist and toss it aside.
“No touching.” You warn. “But-“
“You don’t deserve to.” You curtly retort. It was pathetic, the way that his hand itched to disobey you but he knew that he was pushing the boundaries too far already.
“Just as you deserve this.” You declare, his eyes widen in bewilderment as the weight on his lap is lifted, leaving him with only the pitiful feeling of emptiness. “What-”
You remain silent, casually strolling towards the locked door, indifferent to his wide-eyed desperation and his fumbling hands that seem to forget what it’s supposed to do. The a slight tremor in his voice as he calls for you.
“See you at dinner.”
“You can’t just leave me here, love, please.” He says, a hint of desperation at the end. 
“You don’t make the calls, Theo.” You say, unwavering, while he sits there helplessly. You weren’t going to give him a punishment that he would like, no.
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masterlist
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flopsxii · 2 months ago
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regular customer - various genshin characters !
in which these various genshin characters are your regulars at your small, quaint cafe. of course, it is very possible they have acquired feelings for their favourite barista ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱
ft. lyney, kazuha, hu tao, bennett, freminet & xiao 𝜗𝜚࿔
no specified gender <3
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𐔌 lyney !
“c’mon, y/n! one more trick and i’ll be out of your hair.” lyney whispered before showing off his cards in his hands. “i have a queue lyney, can it wait till later?” you inquired, whilst taking the next customers order with a bright smile on your face. lyney pouted at your response, “what if my trick made all these customers disappear?” he asked, an excited glint in his eyes.
“then i’d have to shut the coffee house, lyney!” you exclaimed, as you rushed around the small space, getting drinks of all different flavours ready for the people of fontaine. “hmm, i guess i can wait till it quietens down…” he mumbled, before sipping his coffee and almost staring you down.
“i didn’t know boba or matcha would be such a craze in fontaine… did you?” he asked, noticing a handful of people walking out with your new speciality drinks. “well, i wanted to bring an inazuman touch with me… it was a 50/50 chance of people liking it, i’m just so glad people do! maybe i’ll travel to each nation and bring a speciality back with me.” you explained to the magician.
the cogs in lyney’s brain started rotating, maybe he should bring you back a beverage recipe from snezhnaya. he wondered how happy you would look if he revealed a drink recipe from nowhere, what a trick that’d turn out to be…
“mmm, that sounds like a marvellous idea! where would you go first?” lyney asked before finishing off his drink. “probably liyue… i’ve always wanted to visit!” you responded, whilst handing more drinks to customers.
“how about after i return from snezhnaya, we go to liyue together?”
𐔌 kazuha !
he technically wasn’t a regular. he’d frequent your quaint little cafe everyday for months and then he’d disappear into thin air for longer than he had been there. he’d smooth talk his way out of your questions everytime, “oh you know, i follow where the wind takes me.” he’d reply with a small smile or he’d conjure up a haiku on the spot to woosh your questions away. either way, you’d always end up forgiving and forgetting.
he had been gone for 3 months now and each day you wondered if this was the time he’d never come back to visit the cafe. maybe it was possible he found a coffee house in a distant land he preferred more. your chest felt heavy at the thought, ‘surely not… kazuha always comes back…’
you were knocked back into concentration when a customer appeared in front of you. “i’m so sorry to keep you waiting! what can i get for you?” you asked, hoping that making drinks would easily distract your thoughts from the samurai. “a strawberry matcha please, y/n!” they requested with a smile. i nodded, getting to work brewing the matcha, “so, anything new?” i asked yachi, another one of my frequent customers. “oh… same old, i’ve just been helping my father around the store. and you? have you seen your samurai yet?” she asked, a small smile playing on her lips.
“kazuha’s back?” i asked, spinning around the face her to inquire more. instead of facing yachi alone, i was now faced with kazuha himself. “i apologise for being away for so long, y/n. i hope you’ve been well.”
both hearts hammered away in separate chests, “i’ve been wonderful kazuha, and you? how were your travels?” i inquired, whilst finishing yachi’s drink and allowing her to have the matcha on the house.
“i enjoyed journeying… seeing new lands and meeting new people. however, i never could find another coffee house that gives me a sense of home like yours does.”
𐔌 hu tao !
it’s like she does it on purpose. everyday, you’ll end up spilling multiple drinks when hu tao jumps out of nowhere and scares the life out of you. but it’s ’all good fun’ as she reminds you each time.
“c’mon, y/n! didn’t mean to actually scare ya!” she laughed, almost keeling over from how funny she was finding the situation. you pulled your lip between your teeth as you started wiping up the boba you had spilt all over your worktops.
“yeah, yeah, tao. i’ve heard this all before.” you replied snarkily. “did you want a drink or just to kill me? you’ll have to wait many more years before you can plan my funeral hu tao.”
she hummed, gazing over the menu before coming closer to the counter. “got anymore boba?” she inquired, a playful grin on her face as she watched you clean the spilt boba. “i think you know the answer to that.”
“bummer… i was really feeling boba too! no matter, im perfectly content with your company, hehe~” she giggled, resting her chin on her palm. a blush rose to your cheeks at her bold statement, “i’ll just get you a green tea, hu tao. would that be alright?” you asked, hoping the funeral director couldn’t see how red your cheeks are.
“mmm… that’d be wonderful!” she cheered before jumping behind the counter. you poured her green tea, added a slice of lemon and just before she grabbed it, hu tao came impossibly close; “you know, your cheeks remind me of red lacewing butterflies, hehe! so cute! anyhow, best be off… things to do, people to see, zombie children to seal away… see you later, my butterfly!”
𐔌 bennett !
he always turned up with new plasters cluttering his skin, dirt on his cheeks, the occasional cut or bruise… but always with a beaming smile on his face. you weren’t sure if this was his usual demeanour or if he simply loved your beverages that much. but never the less, you appreciated his custom all the same, even if you were worried every time he burst through the cafe door.
“you’re injured again, bennett.” you observed, as he approached the counter, a blush rose on his freckled cheeks. his hand rose to rub the back of his neck sheepishly, “my commission didn’t quite go to plan…” he explained, whilst his eyes darted around your various chalk boards filled with different drink options.
“you know, there’s always one thing that can cheer me up after a messy commission, y/n!” bennett exclaimed before taking out his pouch of mora. “mmm… could it be your hot chocolate?” you asked, already beginning to prepare bennett’s favourite drink.
“you know me too well, y/n! what would i do without you!” bennett smiled once again before placing some mora on the counter for you. “take a seat bennett, i’ll bring it over for you.” you smiled before resuming and finishing bennett’s drink.
bennett hoped you wouldn’t feel his eyes on you as you made his drink. he almost felt bad making you do the same drink at the same time everyday but he couldn’t help himself. if he didn’t order something, how would he be able to speak to you and see you everyday? somehow, you had become part of his daily routine, no matter if his adventures went pear shaped or not, he knew no matter what, he’d see your smiling face at the end of everyday.
he hoped one day he’d be brave enough to confess his feelings, how you lighten up his day and his mood each time he came in… until then, he was more than happy with your small talk, his perfectly made hot chocolate (with all the trimmings, of course) and being able to just see you.
𐔌 freminet !
it had taken freminet around two months to gain the courage to order from you. you had noticed the blonde boy sitting in the back of the cafe, keeping to himself; occasionally the magician lyney and his assistant lynette would sit at the table with him. however, today he was alone and now fumbling over his words.
“hi, freminet! how have you been? i haven’t seen you recently.” you smiled, your hands placed on your hips. freminet kept his eyes towards the floor as a rosy pink blush spread across his cheeks like wildfire. “ive been… just fine, y/n. busy diving and with my siblings.”
“well i’m glad any time i get to see you.” you reassured the blonde boy but all your words did was make his face go almost crimson, you giggled at how shy he was.
it’s true, freminet had caught your attention the first day he had came in. you still remember it clear as day.
the door creaked open and there stood a blonde haired boy with a diving mask held at his side. when he finally looked up and his eyes widened in disbelief at your appearance, you had completely gone limp from the sight of his pretty eyes. it was as cliche as it sounds but somehow it was perfect to you.
ever since then, freminet had visited whenever he could, even if he didn’t speak to you or order anything. sometimes you would give him a drink on the house, after all he would end up sitting there for hours just reading or gazing into space. there were times where his siblings would order something for him and drop devious little hints in your ear about their brothers feelings.
freminet’s appearance had made coming to work everyday unpredictable and exciting. you had a crush and it made your heart pound everyday in anticipation for his arrival.
𐔌 xiao !
it was most certainly a surprise when a certain adeptus visited your coffee house. he was uninterested in your beverages and instead demanded a cuisine you didn’t even offer. however, you bent over backwards trying to please him and cooked him his desired dish anyways.
xiao appreciated your effort even if he decided to leave it unsaid. he decided next time he visited the coffee house, he’d order from your normal menu and definitely not force you to do something special for him.
however, next time he popped by your coffee house and begrudgingly ordered a black coffee (the only one he knew of), he was surprised to find you had given him a portion of almond tofu as well.
it surprised him, why would you go out of your way to cook him a meal when one, he didn’t even pay for it, two, last time you made it he hardly seemed grateful and three, you hardly knew him.
maybe you were trying to gain his custom in the most degrading way possible or maybe you were just that nice. either way xiao was grateful that you entered his life, even if he hadn’t made the most positive impression.
“here’s your tofu, xiao! i adapted the recipe but i do hope you still like it. oh! and i made you a new drink, let me know if it’s okay… if you don’t like it, i’ll make you your usual.” you smiled reassuringly, before placing down the bowl, a spoon and his beverage.
xiao smiled thankfully before digging into his food. it was a slightly different taste from the usual almond tofu recipe, xiao was sure he’d hate it if someone else made it, however, he loved it because it was made by you.
despite having so many questions and conversation topics, you decided to leave him be. xiao had always liked his own company more than others and it was best not to force him into being sociable, it never ended in the way you wanted.
however, what you didn’t realise was during the time you served customers, xiao had already disappeared off into the night and had left a bunch of qingxin flowers in the middle of the table, tied together with a neat lilac bow.
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a/n — i hope you enjoyed my first genshin post!! <3 mwah
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justporo · 8 months ago
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Guilty as charged
A/N: So I saw this post about pre-vampirism law school Astarion by @lavendarr00 today and immediately my brain conjured up this idea of having a sort of friends with benefits arrangement with law student Astarion (to both of your benefit ofc) and I couldn't stop dreaming... So have this quick drabble before I move onto other writing...
~~~
You were repeating the same question for the third time to Astarion.
He answered for the third time - and still got it wrong.
The elf rolled his eyes. “This is useless, I need a break,” he pouted and let his head fall back, leaning back onto his hands, careful not to knock over the stacks of books, rolls of parchment and scattered notes.
You just enjoyed the sight: how his chest heaved when he took another deep and dramatic breath in, how the muscles in his arms moved, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A sight to behold. But unfortunately looks were no characteristic that helped one to pass law school.
The two of you were sitting on the polished wooden floors of Astarion’s small but luxurious dorm room, studying for the bar exam - or some of you were.
This was the final challenge you had to pass, then you would finally be done with school.
“If we’re taking another break, we will never get through all of this,” you muttered and motioned towards all of the material surrounding you.
Astarion replied with a pained noise, head coming around again to watch you.
“Have mercy on me, my love,” he begged and threw one arm dramatically over his face.
“Astarion, tell me how you will pass the bar exam if you’re not at least trying to study,” you scolded him and watched as he gave you his best puppy eyes - the gold in them glinting.
“But I am trying,” he moaned and then sat back up again. His hands shot forward to grab your wrists still holding the book you had been reciting questions from.
“But we can’t all be as smart and scholarly as you, darling,” he murmured and dragged you towards you. “Or as beautiful. Or… distracting.”
As much as you tried to make a face at him for wanting to distract you, you failed. You lightly giggled as the beautiful elf pulled you onto his lap.
Sometimes you wondered if he had solely sought your friendship so you could help pull him through law school. Not that you minded. But then he really wouldn’t have needed to fall into bed with you - frequently. You would have helped him only because you liked him and enjoyed spending time with him. Not that you minded the time spent in his embrace at all as well.
Somewhere between you first arriving at Baldur’s Gate’s esteemed law institute where you had met Astarion - who always seemed to have a sharp quip or cheesy line on the tip of his tongue - and now, you somewhen had formed the habit of repeatedly falling into the elf’s arms and tangling in the sheets with him.
Neither of you had been seeking a strict commitment so this semi-exclusive companionship you indulged in was as much of a bond you both could work with.
How things would develop once you both left law school neither of you had addressed yet.
Maybe tomorrow you would bring it up. Maybe when you would have both passed the exam, celebrated with drinks and your friends and you would have undoubtedly found your way into his bed again.
But now, there were other things to focus on.
“How exactly is this going to help you study, Astarion?” you asked as his hands were wandering up your thighs and his gaze had fallen to where your chest peeked through the laces of your top. You couldn’t help but arch your back a little - make the sight a little more alluring to him.
He noticed and threw you a haughty glance and smirk, one eyebrow cocked teasingly.
“Oh, I don’t know if I’m being quite honest. But I want to test out a theory of mine,” he murmured as long, elegant fingers wandered up your body, immediately making it hard for you to focus on anything else.
“And what’s that theory?” you almost moaned in response and shifted your hips to get even closer to him. The movement bringing the delectable advantage of creating delicious friction for both of you.
“That you will stop bugging me about this damned exam once I have you naked beneath me,” he explained in a low, breathy voice as his fingers were already starting to unlace your shirt.
“Anything to get my clothes off I see,” you replied with a last rest of your wit before Astarion pressed his hot lips to yours and truly made you forget about really anything else. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you leaned into the kiss, drinking it all up desperately. Until the elf broke the kiss again, the gold specks in his blue eyes glinting mischievously.
“Guilty as charged, darling,” he murmured with the smirk you had gotten so used to and adored so much.
Then Astarion pushed you onto your back, knocking over books and scrolls. He immediately followed, lowering his body onto you, tangling your fingers with his before he pressed down your hands on each side of your head and showed you just how much of a convincing case he could make if he wanted to.
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missmeinyourbones · 1 year ago
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ahhh congrats on your milestone leah!! you deserve it all and more!
oh my god all these prompts are so good and you write everyone so well, how can we choose? for your event, may I suggest eren and "this this the first time i've felt the need to confess." or "it's okay, we're the best of friends."
ty for hosting this! I can't wait to see everything you come out with ٩(⌒‿⌒)۶
FIRST TIME I'VE FELT THE NEED TO CONFESS (e. jaeger)
a/n: drunk eren and dd reader, mutual pining but eren is shameless and reader has class, LOSER CORE EREN, reader referred to as "ma'am" once in a teasing context
L’s MIDNIGHTS EVENT!
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If anyone saw this situation out of context, it might be funny. But in content—your context specifically—it's nothing less than a headache.
Because you've been saddled with the pleasure of driving home an absolutely trashed Eren, pulling him by his collar to your car as he whines and thrashes with objections.
"One date," he repeats, plopping dead weight into the passenger seat of your car and looking up at you with clouded eyes.
Your response is expected, "Nope."
Eren opens his mouth, but before you can hear whatever bullshit he was conjuring up, you shut his door and walk over to the other side of the car.
Without fail, as soon as you open your door, he's continuing his pleading.
"Just dinner? That's literally all I'm asking for, just one dinner where—"
"You know," you interrupt him as you slide into the driver's seat, "you're a sloppy drunk."
You watch the thought process (or lack thereof) in his mind as he smirks and leans his seat further back, "Drinking isn't the only thing I do sloppy if you—"
"Don't finish that sentence."
Eren's eyes travel in amusement from your blushing and aggravated face to where you turn the key in the ignition and white knuckle the steering wheel. He huffs and kisses his teeth, before defeatedly joking.
"Too far?"
You don't speak, but the glare you shoot him says enough. He holds his hands up in defense and turns his attention to his window.
Silence takes over the car for a few peaceful moments and you don't bring yourself to question it, because Eren not talking is a whole lot better than Eren talking. Not only talking, but asking you out—something he's never thought to do before in the entire three years of knowing you.
Between your own exhaustion and his pathetic alcohol tolerance, you're almost positive you can write it off as nonsense. That is, until Eren opens his big fat mouth up again.
"What if I beg?"
At a red light, you rest your forehead against the steering wheel in exasperation. You hear him borderline giggle as the action gently beeps on your horn.
Your voice comes weak, "Since when do you even want to ask me out? Are you that off your ass right now?"
That changes something in him, because even though he is off his ass right now, he's wanted to ask you out when he was sober about ten times over by now. It's not his fault he's never gotten the courage to do so until now. Right?
"No, fuck no, I—" he stumbles over the slurred syllables as his brain fogs, "I mean, I am drunk, yeah. But I've been far drunker."
Comically, you stare through him, as if he doesn't have a single thought in his puny little brain. When the light turns green, you turn away from him and start driving again, suddenly far too calm for his liking.
"Believe it or not, that doesn't make me feel any better."
Eren rubs his blurry eyes with a calloused hand. "Shit—yeah, I know, okay? Just, hold on. Let me start over, 'cause I do really do wanna buy you dinner and—”
"Why now?"
"Not now," he states matter of fact, "when I'm sober and know where my wallet is."
"No, Eren," your voice is soft now, humiliated. You won't even look at him when you weakly whisper, "Why are you telling me this all of a sudden?"
He takes pride in the way he holds your stare for all of three seconds, before turning down and looking at his shoelaces.
"This is just the first time I've felt the need to confess," he mumbles.
You deadpan, "The first time?"
"Yup."
"There were other times you kept it to yourself?
"Like two whole years worth, yeah," he huffs under his breath. "But I wasn't gonna lead with that because that sounds lame and this makes me sound more manly and suave."
The car hums beneath him when he hears you laugh, and his drunk mind can't tell if it's out of pity or honest amusement, but he likes the sound of it all the same.
Though your words might be meant to sting, the delivery is silky when you tease, "I'm driving you home because you can't handle your liquor. Nothing about you is manly or suave right now."
He nods along obediently, "Okay, sorry."
Turning his attention back to the condensation dripping from the window, he suddenly speaks so gently that you'd think he was sober if you didn't see what he drank tonight.
"If you don't actually wanna go out, you can just reject me already. It's fine."
Now it's Eren who won't meet your eye as you're pulling up to his house on the corner of the street. Throwing the car into park and tapping his bicep, he slowly sighs, a bit embarrassed but too drunk to actually care.
"Tell you what," you breathe, and you're surprised Eren's neck doesn't snap on impact with the speed he turns to face you. You bite your cheek at his desperation and exhale, "If you wake up in the morning and still want to take me to dinner, then we can talk about it tomorrow."
"Yeah?" you swear you can physically see the light reenter his eyes at your simple words.
Nodding, you smile. "Yeah, but for now, get your ass in your apartment and drink a shit ton of water."
Gently shoving him, Eren gets out of the car. In the slightly drizzling rain, his eyes never leave yours as his lanky legs stand up and he salutes in a corny way, "Yes, ma'am."
You reach over the middle console to pull his door shut, but before you can even grab it, he's reaching for the handle and holding it open.
"Wait—!"
"What now?" exasperation crawls from your throat.
You watch unimpressed as he pats down all of his pockets before meekly whispering.
"…Do you have my house keys?"
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theblueflower05 · 1 year ago
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So I’m at work feeling particularly yuck(it’s okay I have a vacation coming up) and I don’t want to be in this office anymore-
So I escaped into my brain and conjured up maybe the most delicious maladaptive day dream ever.
Ao’nung x reader x Neteyam-
But the reader is human.
A human who was sent on the second wave to Pandora. And experiment of sorts. She sold her body to science and got a surgery that makes her able to breath Pandoran air(listen, logistics don’t matter)
She turned on the RDA and set out to warn Jake and the other rebel scientists about impending doom.
Blah blah blah.
She ends up in Awa’atlu with the crew.
And she can’t deny the hot rush of overwhelmed butterflies she gets when she catches the Matkayinan Prince staring at her.
Ao’nung is a slut. He loves pleasure; giving receiving it you name it. He’s slept around a lot and he’s very curious about the pretty little sky demon with wide hips and thick thighs. He wants to see what her full breasts look like when they’re not caged by her tawtute clothing-
Neteyam is having none of that shit.
He claims it’s because it’s on him to keep an eye on you like his dad had commanded back when you’d first come to them in the forest. You’re just another responsibility.
It has nothing to do with the fact that he’s been obsessed with you from the moment he met you. That the idea of another Na’vi trying to mate you makes him sick to his stomach.
Circumstances happen. Shit goes down.
Somehow you find yourself being courted by two fully grown, blooded royal male Na’vi.
And it’s like.
A lot.
A lot a lot. They’re overbearing and devoted and you’re just a human girl who’s always had intimacy and commitment issues.
All the attention feels as good as it does scary.
You get gifts of all kinds; jewelry and clothing, food by the pile. Pretty little trinkets that glow and glitter.
Ao’nung takes you to special secret places on the island. Goregous waterfalls and hidden tide pools.
Neteyam takes you on magical ikran rides, you soar above the sherbet clouds.
When you begin pushing them away- not able to choose and deciding that really it’s best that you’re alone anyway.
They form an unlikely alliance.
They both want you. They’ll just have to share.
Now here’s where it gets good.
Imagine these huge hulking beautiful men telling you that it’s okay. You don’t have to choose. You can have them both- as long as they can have you in return.
I could faint just thinking about it.
Starting a physical relationship with them?
Finding out that human pussy apparently tastes nothing like Na’vi women- you’re tooth rottingly sweet and potent and addictive to them and you find yourself with your legs spread and a big head forced between your quivering thighs on the regular.
It’s so much. Na’vi have insatiable appetites and stamina that is literally unbelievable.
As time goes on you learn about the two men.
Ao’nung is deceptively sweet. He’s a caring lover. All service top-y and devoted. He wants you to feel good. He wants you to have whatever you want. He spoils you absolutely rotten. Is pussy whipped from the jump. He is his daddy’s son.
Neteyam? Is mean in bed. He’s demanding and passionate. He loves overstimulation(both receiving and giving) sex with him always leaves you a bawling mess.
Both of them have that first born son chip on their shoulders. They’re more alike then they think they are. Every time you point it out they scoff.
More day dreaming-
Somehow you get kidnapped by Quaritch and Co and omg. The lengths your boys go to to get you back is actually terrifying?
And so hot?
Ugh.
This is my new fave imaginary scenario. I think I’ll escape into it for the foreseeable future byeeeeeee
Also @cinetrix I blame you for this. That new Ao’nung pic you posted has fucked me UP.
I do not have the time to write this but I want to so badly😭
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mo0nfairy · 2 years ago
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😍😍 OMG, I'm gonna be needing a part four to that Leon post stat.
(Love your writing it's amazing just like you are) ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎
part 1. part 2. part 3.
tw :: re4 spoilers, obsessive!leon, yandere!leon, violence, knives, tasers, guns, explosives, framing, murder, abuse of power, death of a character, physical restrainment, noncon touching, thoughts of suicide, being knocked unconscious, shit goes down basically.
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⸺ thank u, honeybaby !!!!! i've been vv busy these past few days, but this man has been HEAVY on my mind. i've also been listening to playing dangerous by our lord and savior lana del rey on repeat and it had my brain conjuring up some ideas... (also this part is long so buckle up friends)
you see, you've been praying everyday to earn back those damned memories that slipped from your mind 6 years ago. but in a attempt to do so, all you can feel is a gun against your head, an explosion against your body, and dust permeating your lungs. all before the classic cut to black welcomes you. no crying mouse-ley, no crying guard-dog. just empty darkness. through the abyss, however, you are now able to unveil memories that were buried deep within you. and whether the return of these past events is a good thing or not is up to you.
you remember a late august evening. the cool air and descending leaves would calm you, but your current circumstances prevent you from any serenity. an anonymous tip to the RPD claimed that you were in possession of illegal substances. and somehow, those said drugs had magically appeared into existence within your home. this leaves you here, being driven to the station by the officer of the month, marvin branagh. despite everything, you're grateful marvin was the one to arrest you. you happen to favor him and his basic understanding of boundaries, as opposed to a certain mutt you know far too well.
it's safe to say you've now got quite the reputation in the RPD with how much trouble you get into. and especially with how quickly the problems seem to fade away. you're being escorted through the station until another officer complains to marvin about some kids with fake ID's. he leaves you by yourself at an empty desk with one hand cuffed to the armrest. the desk right beside leon's. you look to the blonde beside you. his head is rested against his arms folded upon his desk, deep in slumber. his cheek is squished against the surface of his arm, pushing his lips out into a duck-like pout. your mugshot peeks out from beneath his sleeping form. you swear through his unintelligible murmuring, you hear a gentle whimper of your name. marvin had mentioned during the drive how he was up all night looking through your case (wouldn't be the first time), but you can't find it in yourself to feel bad for him. you don't trust him. even several years ago, something within you has always prevented you from trusting him.
you fiddle with a mr. raccoon toy as 20 minutes slowly tread by. completely overcome with boredom, you peak over leon's shoulder to see your case file beneath him. maybe you could find something useful inside, like the bastard responsible for all these false claims. using your free hand, you manage to slyly slip your case folder from under his weight. not without a quiet whine of "no, y/n/n... don't leave me..." good god, was he cuddling your mugshot? (it would be the closest he could get to you physically, after all). you ignore him entirely, thanking the heavens that this man is such a deep sleeper.
opening the file, you find standard information about your case. you read through the notes leon left behind, which causes nausea to then stir in your stomach. he jotted down his worries of your case closing and not being able to keep you in the station any longer; there was ideas of any potential loopholes in the system he could take advantage of and prove your innocence. beside his rambling, there was a long list of certain ways he can frame you for crimes to reel you back into his clutches. what in the actual fuck? and just when you thought this situation couldn't get worse, you find he used pictures of your friends at the shooting range, bullet holes piercing through their paper faces.
you read through the evidence in shock, until a sickeningly-sweet tone gasps your name and pulls you out of your trance. you look over the folder to see those familiar blue eyes peering into yours. leon lights up like a golden retriever with a bone when he wakes up and you're the first thing he sees, metaphorical tail wagging and all. to dream of you and to be the first thing he sees when he opens his eyes, it is pure heaven! only, instead of the early morning, love-drunk haze within his dreams, he is instead met with the heartbreaking look of horror on your face. his eyes trail down to see you holding his notes and his heart sinks to the pit of his stomach. no, no, no, it wasn't supposed to be like this! it was never supposed to be like this! you were supposed to fall in love with him! you are supposed to be with him forever!
you are supposed to love him! you have to!
and you thought you've seen the worst, you thought you reached the bottom of the iceberg. but you were so, so wrong. it had been 2 weeks since you learned the truth about leon. since then, you were able to find solace within an old friend, claire redfield. not only do you adore her, but the layer of protection she had given you when you complained about the clingy cop on your hip was just the cherry on top. without leon, these 14 days were the most peace you have felt in what feels like months. you didn't know how the man who acted like he needed your presence more than air felt about this sudden separation. and to be completely honest, you didn't really care.
now, with your arm hooked around claire's, you two walk home after a night out in raccoon city. you're repeating old inside jokes and clutching your chest in heaps of rib-straining laughter. everything is full of high-spirits until you notice a certain cop car sitting in the street. claire enters your estate first, guarding you protectively while you follow her footsteps. you find (you guessed it!) no other than leon kennedy rummaging through your belongings. and the look on leon's face when he sees you with someone else is nothing short of pure anguish, sheer betrayal. he is jealous — so much so that it practically suffocates the room. you've seen plenty of emotions expressed by leon and the consequences that followed, but you've never seen first-hand what jealousy may compel him to do. considering the pictures of your friends he used as target practice, you feel as though the outcome won't be any good.
claire breaks the silence, "you disgusting pig! i'm calling my brother down here and he's gonna kick your-" her roar of anger is cut off with a sharp groan.
leon stands, taser gun in hand, as the electrodes strike into claire's body. she then falls to the ground with a loud thump, her form convulsing from the electric shocks waving through her. rushing to her side, you attempt to help her. but, you then cave into yourself when leon walks over in three large strides. and you now realize he is absolutely terrifying when he is jealous. his voice drops to a low husk as he demands you tell him who the fuck this is, a major contrast to the bubbly-puppy you're grown familiar with. you are left flabbergasted and are unable to mutter even a syllable.
you aren't even granted a mere second to compose of yourself before leon pulls a knife, plunging it deep into claire's chest. a scream of pure terror erupts from your throat. you're painted red as he relentlessly stabs your best friend, curling yourself into a corner and hiding your face in your arms. through your tear-stained vision, you see the lifeless body of claire and leon standing above her, huffing with fury like some blood-thirsty creature. something in his gaze perceptibly softens when he sees you, so scared and feeble. and it shatters his heart. after all, leon would take every life on planet earth just to see your lips curl into a smile, even once more. but, nothing could have prepared you for the words that would then leave his mouth.
he turns his body cam on. "y/n l/n, you are under arrest for the murder of... whoever this was. you have the right to remain silent. anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." you stare at leon entirely flabbergasted, but you're too exhausted to fight against him.
he bends down to you, light whispers of "you're ok, it wasn't your fault" and "i've got you, sweet angel" doing little to comfort you. with his gentle hands against you, leon proceeds to cuff you with the same softness you would use to handle a baby bird. and you let him take you away, because you are too caught up in looking at your best friend who was laughing with you just minutes ago now dead on the ground. you cry to yourself in the backseat of the cop car the whole way to the station.
by the time you get there, you are entirely in a state of shock. tears of dread stream down your cheeks, but your face is nothing short of emotionless. you are so caught up in your head, you don't even notice the whispers of other officers there. they gossip about how considering your track record, it's no wonder you'd end up here for good. a sharp glare from the man guiding you through the department is enough for them to shut their mouths. you're then brought into an interrogation room, with cameras off and no other presence besides you and this mad-man at your beck and call.
cuffed to a chair once again, leon locks the door behind him. he then drops to his knees and ties his arms around your waist, burying his head into you. it takes several seconds for reality to hit you, but you soon realize he is crying. and if you weren't restrained currently, you would've pushed him off and made him suffer a fate far worse than what claire endured. now, the two of you are sobbing together, but for entirely different reasons. you, full of grief over someone you love being murdered just moments ago. leon, full of agony over how the gleam of emotion he was so infatuated with left your eyes. all because of him.
you muster enough strength to plead to the blonde, your voice coming out through hoarse, slurred sniffles. but much to your dismay, your cries fall on deaf ears. if only leon had more morality than he did love for you.
"i'm so sorry, y/n, i just needed to hold you. even for just one last time” he picks his head up to look at you, face breaking out in a pitiful smile. “and i can't lose you. not again.” he grabs hold of your hands from behind your back and begins caressing the digits of your fingers. and the contrast between his smile and the crazed look in his eyes has you shuddering in apprehension.
"you're stuck with me to the end."
your eyes then flutter open to see a blinding white light; you begin to hear the quiet chant of a monitor beside you. where the hell am i? despite your current confusion, all you can think about is how you grieved for your best friend in the grimy cells of the RPD, how everyone turned into undead creatures just a week later, and how leon protected you from anything as small as a paper cut. you remember how several zombies overpowered him and how you took advantage of the opportunity, running like hell away and out of raccoon city. you remember the burning of your lungs, the rain on your skin, the hope of getting far, far away from this nightmare. you also remember the fear you felt when umbrella snatched you into their possession, to where you would soon forget everything that happened. including leon kennedy.
you're in the present now, as you can tell by the sheepskin jacket around your form and the hospital bed you're laid upon. it takes you too long to realize that you're safe, out of the hellhole that is los iluminados. looking down, you find a gun sitting by your hip (leon made the declaration that if you were to never wake up again, he wouldn't hesitate to end it all right then and there). you shift your train of sight to see leon at your bedside with his head in his hands while his entire body trembles with trepidation. the sight of this lovesick maniac at your side causes you to spring forward with a harsh gasp. his heartbeat skyrockets at the sudden occurrence. you're alive, and leon can't stop the tears of relief that fall from his eyes.
"hi, pretty... i'm here, you're safe now..." the smile on his face is borderline terrifying. his hands cup your face, practically clinging onto you like a lifeline.
"i remember... i remember everything..." the statement is entirely said to yourself, your gaze distant and not entirely there.
his eyebrows scrunch upwards, gaze softening (if it can even soften more than it already has). leon then pulls your face to his and molds his lips against yours aggressively, desperately. it isn't soft, sweet, or romantic in any sense. it is inexperienced, but overflowing with raw passion, need, and obsession. he only stops when the two are you are breathless and gasping for air. a dreamy sigh escapes leon's lips once he parts from you, gazing into your eyes as if you were something holy (which you are, obvi, but i digress). leon is so horrifically, irrevocably, disgustingly in love with you. and you can feel everything in his all-too overwhelming kiss.
he then engulfs you and melts into your arms like a noodle in boiling water. his light-headed, lovesick laughter fans against your neck. leon somehow pulls you impossibly closer to him, almost as if he were trying to morph the two of you together. it is too much; he is all you can feel, smell, touch. but, without a sliver of strength in your body, you are entirely vulnerable to him and his captivation.
"ashley... she didn't make it..." there’s a certain tone in leon's voice you can’t explain, but you shudder beneath it, anyway. he tells the information softly, but his voice is full of too much exhilaration to be normal. with these newfound memories, that dread returns to your stomach at the thought of what leon is capable of. what leon may have done to ashley while you were out cold.
through the abyssal darkness, your wish has been granted. you have now retrieved all lost memories.
and now, you know why you never were able to trust leon kennedy.
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the end !! hehe, thanks for the fun ride babes.
HOWEVER……….. this is surely not the end of my resident evil stained brainrot. so i will not be continuing this series, but i will most certainly be pouring out everything in my RE-obsessed brain. only if u would like to see it, of course. if u do, pls send me some asks!! and thank u again !!!
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konigs-left-pec · 8 months ago
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After like 6 months, I've FINALLY decided to let this heap see the light of day. Colonel!König is still ruining my life (specifically domColonel!König...I'm totally normal about him and 100% on my knees and chewing through my cage.)
mdni: smut, v fingering
Masterlist
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König had just returned from a month-long stint in the Middle East and was still fully geared up, shedding dust all over the living room rug when you decided to throw off your robe, revealing his favorite strappy black lingerie. His tired blue eyes widened almost comically in surprise, though that feeling was quickly overtaken by burning lust as he drank you in, fatigue pushed to the side just like he was about to do to the dainty translucent cups hugging your breasts like a second skin.
And then his phone rang.
"König..." Your sigh was a warning, a pleading whine to let it go to voicemail just this once.
"I'll be quick, liebling." He promised, kissing your forehead sweetly and pulling the still ringing phone from his pocket, "Go wait for me. I'll be along in a few minutes."
You complied, albeit not without a grumble or two beneath your breath as you stooped to snatch your robe off the floor before heading to the bedroom. You wanted - no - needed his hands, his lips, his cock. Anything that he would give, you would take. You wanted the darkest parts of him to consume you, the parts that offered only pain blighted pleasure. You would thank him for it.
Your claim to the Colonel's time was peripheral, of course, and those optimistically promised few minutes had evolved into a half hour of you squirming unsatisfied in your shared bed, palm crushing the delicate lace of the open gusset framing your pussy, fingers struggling to reach the spot you needed most. Physical touch not nearly enough, you turned to fantasy, trying to conjure the weight of his body above you and the punishing glide of his cock. You didn't even hear the door open nor the click of it closing behind him as he stepped into the room.
"What are you doing, schönes Mädchen?"
Gasping, you floundered, finding yourself unable to articulate under the intense scrutiny he fixed you with nor to stop the futile way your fingers kept moving in and out of your soft cunt, muted squelching noises filling the deafening silence between you. Foggy with pleasure you notice he'd removed his tactical gear, dressed only in his fatigue pants and a gray tee stretched over the broad barrel of his chest.
His left hand was skimming lightly up your leg and by the time he got to your mound, you were trembling like a leaf in the wind.
"You've been bad tonight, liebling..." his fingers gently pried yours free from your messy quim, taking their place in a lazy plunge in and out that had you gripping the sheets, "I told you to wait for me..." He popped two of his sticky fingers into his mouth and your brain fizzled, "How do you think I should handle this, hmm?"
You need to come. He's tapping gently against the intricate lace framing your needy cunt; you grit your teeth and open your eyes (when had you closed them? ), realizing he's expecting an answer. You knew what he wanted to hear.
"I need to be punished, sir."
It comes out breathier than you intended, you can't seem to get enough air with the way he's staring into your eyes; his own pupils dilated, pitch black engulfing his normally bright blue eyes until only a sliver of color remained. He only hums thoughtfully in response, removing himself completely from your person (you swear your cunt actually weeps at the injustice here) and stands beside the bed, arms folded across his chest as he waits for you to join him.
"On your knees then, meine frau."
Your breath skitters in your chest when you notice the way he's straining against the seam of his trousers and you stare pointedly, reaching to press your palm against the heat there. He inhales sharply through his nose, a hairline crack in his indomitable control before he bats your hand away, repositioning them on his hips, wordlessly encouraging you to sink to your knees.
He peers down at you over the swell of his chest, pulse leaping against the strong line of his throat despite the calm and steady breaths he's taking in. You want to be a brat, make him answer for keeping you waiting, but you also want him to rail you into the carpet until your knees bleed; an answering pulse throbs between your thighs and you clench around nothing.
Guess that settles that.
"Show me how obedient you can be for me."
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baddybaddyadardaddy · 1 month ago
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HELLO, IT IS I, BACK WITH ANOTHER UNHINGED POST ABOUT WHY ADAR AND GALADRIEL SHOULD FIGHT SAURON TOGETHER, HOW THE SHOW HAS SET US UP FOR THE "BATTLE OF THE EXES" AND WHY I WILL BE SUPER PISSED IF IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN.
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I appended this to another post, but in response to "What was Galadriel thinking watching Adar do his Uruk funeral ritual," I think the answer was clear.
She was thinking of Finrod.
She was thinking of standing over her brother's dead body, mourning for her lost loved one that Sauron stole from her, and she's realizing that Adar feels the exact. same. thing.
Sauron has taken from both of them what they love most.
She's realizing that she and Adar are on the same mission.
They have the same enemy. And the same goal.
S2Ep2 hints that it would be unwise for Galadriel to face Sauron alone. Gil-galad says it's a bad idea, since she's already been susceptible to Sauron once. Galadriel's repsonse:
"Supposing I was not alone?"
In context, she's pitching him to let Elrond accompany her on her journey. But I think that moment is foreshadowing that there will be someone else at her side when she has the actual fight with Sauron, and I contend that person can ONLY be Adar.
Again, identical quests/goals. I laid out in this post how intentional the show has been about making the mirrors to one another/both sides of the same coin/represenations of dark and light.
They are also the ones who have been most victimized by Sauron. They have both been deceived, as discussed on their dinner date.
It's PERSONAL, for both of them.
It's also personal for Sauron.
Worth noting: it also isn't the first time this triad has been in conflict with one another.
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In this scene in S1Ep6, both Galadriel and Adar were both under Sauron's deception. Galadriel thought she was aiding the King of the Southlands, and Adar thought he was... well... just some dude, who by his own admission he really didn't recognize.
My hope is that S2 is setting them up to have this ultimate climactic battle with Sauron where they can both go in with eyes open.
SO NOW FOR THE INSANITY.
As I mention in the previously referenced post, I think "The Last Temptation" signals that there is a third player in the fight between Galadriel and Sauron. Based on all the thematic evidence, as well as the objects we know appear in the fight, Adar's sword (by all appearences), Nenya, and Morgoth's crown, I think all evidence points to Adar.
So here's an completely unhinged breakdown of The Last Temptation track, and what I think is playing out. (I'm not an expert in music, I'm just going off of what I hear as a lay person. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, but for now, I'm just getting this theory out of my brain. Take it for what it is: pure, unleaded speculation.)
The track begins with the Ring theme. Fairly obvious-- we know Galadriel is in possession of the Nine heading away from Eregion.
We then get an urgent build into Sauron's theme and ostinato. Almost as if he's in pursuit.
At 1:07, a new theme begins that we have not yet heard before. It's heavy, urgent and percussive, with a choir. I believe his is a new musical motif for a transformed Adar, because I think Nenya will give him some degree of healing from his corruption-- a key reason why we haven't seen him in ANY promo materials yet for Episode 8. But ALSO. Watch the brutal way Adar fights in S2Ep7 and then imagine that while this bit plays. BAMF.
There is a brief flash of Eregion around 1:23... I'm not entirely certain what to make of that, perhaps Sauron conjures some image of either Celebrimbor's death or the city burning?
Then we're back to the percussive Adar theme, COMBINED with Galadriel's theme. These blend perfectly together. So my guess is they're both locked in combat with Sauron here.
Then things start to get tasty.
Around 1:58, we get another variation of Sauron's theme in a high, solo voice. I think this is where Sauron really starts to manipulate both players. This first bit I think might be a manipulation of Adar (the high solo Sauron theme is reminiscant of S2Ep1 in the North). But then Galadriel's them briefly cuts in-- perhaps she's distracting Sauron? Re-engaging him to stop his manipulation of Adar?
So what does Sauron do? He turns his manipulation on her. At around 2:30, Halbrand's them kicks in, in what we can only assume to be a RUDE AS HELL vision.
What cuts through that illusion at about 2:55? ADAR'S THEME.
So then we have, until about 3:20, Adar's theme, racing strings underneath that I read as being connected with Sauron (not musical enough to tell you for certain, but it feels like it races in a similar way to some of his other themes), and GALADRIEL'S THEME, which kicks in at around 3:09. We're really in it now.
Then there is a 10-second build, which breaks out at 3:30 into the Nolwa Mahtar theme. It sounds triumphant, like maybe Adar and Gal have gotten a handle on things... but THEN. 3:47-- the triumphant theme falls apart, collapsing into the eerie, high solo Sauron theme. This, I believe, is where Sauron bests Adar. If I had to guess, I'd say it's a good bet Sauron fatally stabs him here. The music here is very reminiscant of S2Ep1 when Sauron was lying on the ground being stabbed by the orcs, so there's that mirroring effect there.
This is directly followed by a slower, mournful variation of Galadriel's theme. She's lost her ally in the fight, she is now, in fact, left to face Sauron alone. Which we know, from Gil-galad's comment earlier, is a dangerous place for her to be.
Cue Sauron's theme, full men's choir and sinister, at 4:30. He knows he's winning. At 4:43, we hear something that sounds to me (again, not musically trained, vibes only) like Galadriel's ostinato but warped/distorted somehow. Like Sauron is again fucking with her mind, or possibly physically wounding her. I think she could be fighting another vision, or another attempt for him to steal inside her mind and kick her when she's down.
But then there's another little build, and it sounds like we hear the "tinkling" ring sound-- this, I believe, is when Galadriel will retake Nenya from Adar, because we next get another build, which breaks out into Galadriel's triumphant theme yet again. As far as what's happening here, I can't quite say. Galadriel obviously doesn't win this fight outright, because presumably Sauron is going to abscond with the nine... but it sounds like something makes him retreat or perhaps vanish as his theme diminishes around 5:56.
Then, around 6:00, we get Galadriel's theme, slow and mournful, played on a solo harp. (IF WE'RE GETTING AN ADAR IS CELEBORN REVEAL, I'M CALLING THIS NOW: IT'S GONNA HAPPEN HERE, because there was definitely a solo harp playing when she reminisced to Theo about her husband in S1Ep7.)
Regardless, I think this could definitely be a moment between them where he is fatally wounded and she moves to comfort him. There is a creepy sounding moment around 6:24... but it could also be Nenya at work. Then there's an uplifting bit that begins, and eventually morphs into Elrond's theme.
So I think perhaps EITHER Galadriel heals Adar successfully with Nenya, or his wounds are too fatal and he succumbs, having completed his story arc with the redemptive act of giving her the ring back/fighting at her side against Sauron. Either way, Elrond will find them at the end, and see that Adar played a critical role in helping Galadriel fight Sauron. It will be revealed that Sauron stole away with the nine, but that Nenya is protected and restored to its true bearer, so there is still hope.
The Sun Yet Shines.
anyway, let me know what y'all think!
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johns-prince · 11 months ago
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I Don't Know (Oh Johnny Johnny)
After listening to this "forgotten" song by John and Paul on repeat, with excruciating scrutiny of trying my darndest to make out the lyrics.
This song is approximately recorded around 1960, could have even been 1959, and I've read it was apparently recorded when the group was going by the Silver Beatles. Also, apparently recorded at Paul's house? I'm not sure.
Whether you think it's just them fooling about, simple improvising and nothing at all, I think if they were going to take the effort to record it, it had to mean something.
Even if some or half of it is "improv," it still sounds like a conversation between the two.
It's not unlike them to use music to communicate and express personal thoughts and feelings, wants. There's also nobody else there... it's just them.
Just a couple of the clearer lyrics from Paul at the start:
"Hey now Johnny Johnny, oh Johnny Johnny, oh Johnny Johnny, oh Johnny Johnny, Oh God, Johnny boy, how are we gonna tell them?"
"Oh Johnny boy you wore me out"
It also sounds in one line Paul is singing, "Well you got me!"
Then John starts up.
And I know some people claim the start for John here is him saying "Well little boy" but I have to say that doesn't match up with what I've heard.
Doesn't sound anything like boy, but it does sound like John is saying, "Oh little darling, packing my shoes.. " can't make the following bit before, "cuz I'm losin' you"
"I'm going to see my sister soon. She don't want to see me I don't know really what I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do."
Now you've got Paul again:
"Well Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, when I call you Johnny, well Johnny Johnny oh Johnny, when I'm calling you..."
"Well I don't know what I'm going to tell them..." okay, these lyrics are really difficult to decipher. Maybe it's just my brains attempt at conjuring coherent words from the incoherent sounds, but, what follows this sounds ALMOST sounds as if Paul is telling him what he'll tell the fellas, about thoughts regarding John (I've still got thoughts of you/I'll still have thoughts of you/or, I'll still vouch for you)
Then the closest thing to ever getting to hear what Paul McCartney sounds like when pleading:
"Please Johnny, please Johnny"
John's response is:
"Well I'll tell the fellas I'm traveling with you"
And funnily enough, it's John saying, "I don't know what I'm gonna to do when I tell my mother we're gonna leave town." Of course if this is recorded in 1958/1960, Julia is no longer around...
Paul reiterates this though, confirming it, "Yeah we're gonna leave town."
Paul continues with this dogged line, I can catch a couple of "we gotta leave, we just gotta leave, we gotta leave right now."
Then—
"Take the next bus out of town, then we won't let nobody down!"
It's a conversation about getting out, breaking out, starting over just the two of them... With some interesting mentions of family and friends finding out, about something, with them, between them? And disappointing everyone, causes family to turn them away.
The reason couldn't have just been that they were wanting to become famous musicians together, right? I don't think that alone could be it considering Mimi nor Jim, or Julia or John's sisters, ever turned them away or shunned them because of this dream they were already chasing by this time.
The song progresses to where it sounds as if John has reservations about leaving, he's not as confident about the plan as originally thought.
Paul keeps singing the "we gotta leave, get outta town." I caught a "don't hold me down."
John starts repeating "I don't know" which results in Paul repeatedly calling out, "Oh Johnny Johnny Johnny oh Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny..." Again, it's almost like pleading, "How could you not know? We have to go, we have to leave town, you can't tell me “I don't know” now. Don't do this now."
Now, I will say this, the full lyrical interpretations of this song, while I commend others for trying too, hold too many issues for me to agree upon their validity. I don't catch any "I love yous" and the such, but I think what I have caught, and how John and Paul are singing to each other and with each other here, alone, as teenage boys chasing their dream, is enough to convince me still that this song is so intimately about them, their relationship, and what they dreamed of doing together.
Running off, getting out and creating music together. Running away together. The song technically foreshadowing this honeymoon-esque trip of John and Paul doing just that when John turned 21, and with 100 quid took Paul on a trip.
Two teenage boys not knowing what to do, lamenting over something, something getting out to their family that would cause them to be turned away and to cause disappointment. I don't necessarily attribute that to them chasing the dream of becoming famous musicians together, but it could be. It could be many different things. Could just be me overanalyzing...
The end of the song is a lot more scrambled, difficult to make out, but it sounds like both John and Paul are back to both agreeing to the fact they need to get out, leave town, together.
Also imagining the fact they probably looked something close to this while thumping around and singing this song in Paul's house, alone together, gives me feelings.
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