#i still owe them an epilogue... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

delulustateofmind · 20 days ago

Text

Long Distance - The Epilogue

All good things come to an end, and sometimes you earn that fairy tale wedding.

Blurb, Part One, Part Two, Part Three, End :)

TW: Slight Angst, Rude parents trope, language barriers, switch to Japanese to English. FLUFFY : HAPPY ENDING!!

WC: roughly 10k

Ever since you left—left him at the airport—you hadn’t heard from Satoru.

No texts. No calls. Not even a single notification on Discord.

You stared at the ring sitting on your desk, its once-brilliant diamond now dulled under a thin layer of dust. Beside it was the small snow globe of Tokyo he had given you, its tiny cityscape frozen in time, just like the memories of your time together.

The glow from your PC cast long shadows over the desk, and your gaze drifted to the Minecraft launcher icon on your screen. It had been months since you last logged in. You probably owed an absurd amount of rent in that small, pixelated towny server—the same server where it all began.

You wondered if Satoru still played. If he still logged in late at night, planting those ridiculous, mismatched crops he always insisted were "aesthetic" while teasing you for being too organized.

But you didn’t dare log in to check.

A month passed.

And then another.

The ring stayed where it was, untouched and unboxed. You couldn’t bring yourself to put it away. To hide it meant pretending it never happened, and pretending was something you were terrible at.

Your life went on in fragments. Work, sleep, occasional moments of laughter with friends—but nothing felt whole. It was as if a part of you had been left behind in that airport, still clinging to Satoru’s tear-streaked face as he begged you to stay.

It was late one night when the first notification came.

A faint ping echoed from your phone, breaking the silence of your room. Your heart leapt as you grabbed it, half-hoping, half-dreading.

A single message blinked on the screen:

青眼の白龍:

“Hey… are you there?”

Your breath caught. It was the first message you’d seen from him in months, and the sight of his username alone was enough to send a wave of emotions crashing over you.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, unsure what to say. Every possible reply felt too small, too inadequate to bridge the chasm that had grown between you.

Before you could respond, another message appeared:

“Sorry. This is stupid. I just…”

“I miss you.”

The tears came before you could stop them, spilling onto your cheeks as you clutched the phone tightly.

It took you a few minutes to compose yourself before typing a reply.

“I’m here.”

The typing bubble appeared almost instantly, and his next message came through faster than you expected.

“I needed to work on some things before I could reach out.”

Your chest tightened, and you hesitated before typing again.

“Satoru, I…” You paused, deleting and rewriting the words several times before settling on, “I miss you too.”

A few days later, you finally worked up the courage to open Minecraft.

The familiar loading screen greeted you, and as you entered the server, you braced yourself for the emptiness you expected.

But when the world was rendered around you, you realized it wasn’t empty at all.

The town was still there, its quaint buildings and sprawling fields just as you remembered. And in the distance, near the little house you had built together, was a figure in familiar white leather armor, standing by a new structure you didn’t recognize.

Your heart raced as you approached.

The new building was a small chapel, simple but beautiful, with pixelated flowers lining the path to its door.

Satoru’s character turned to face yours, his usual goofy skin replaced by something more formal—a pixelated suit.

青眼の白龍:

“I made this for us.”

Your hands trembled as you typed back.

“For us?”

青眼の白龍:

“Yeah. In case you wanted to get married… here. Or in Stardew. Or Animal Crossing. Or real life. Wherever you want.”

Tears blurred your vision as you stared at the screen, the ring glinting faintly in the corner of your eye.

For the first time in months, you felt like you could breathe again. Like the distance between you wasn’t so insurmountable after all.

And as Satoru’s character took a clumsy bow before stepping closer, you smiled, finally typing the words you’d been too scared to say out loud.

“I’d like that.”

You stared at the Discord notification, the little pop-up hovering on your screen. An Excel spreadsheet attachment.

青眼の白龍:

“Can you hop on a call?”

In-game, his Minecraft character crouched and uncrouched repeatedly, moving closer to your own as if mirroring his real-life restlessness. You hesitated for only a moment before clicking to join the call, your heart pounding so loudly it drowned out the little jingle of the Discord ringtone.

“Satoru?” you said softly as the call connected.

The sound of his voice on the other end nearly undid you. “Hey,” he said, his voice rough, quieter than you remembered. “Open the sheet.”

His English sounded more stilted, more foreign than usual, the confidence you’d grown so used to stripped away. You wondered if he’d stopped practicing in your absence—no daily calls, no teasing corrections.

Your hands trembled as you opened the attachment. Rows of neatly organized text filled the screen, and as you scrolled, your breath caught.

Four apartment listings. Three job applications. And at the bottom, a house listing.

“Satoru…”

“I… ah…” He paused, searching for the right words. “How do you say… I want you to move here.”

Your chest tightened as his words hit you.

“So I took the initiative,” he continued, his voice faltering slightly. “Teaching job… teaching English. A job at my family’s hotel, assistant role… And a job at an international school.”

You scrolled further, seeing contracts already attached, pay highlighted in bold. The effort, the thought, the sheer amount of planning he’d put into this��it was overwhelming.

“I found apartments for us,” he went on, the hurt in his tone unmistakable. “My place… too big. I like being close.”

Your vision blurred with tears as you tried to focus on the spreadsheet, each carefully linked document pulling at your heart.

“I toured them,” he said softly. “Linked are photos.”

Tears spilled freely now, and you couldn’t hold back the quiet sob that escaped your lips.

“The house though,” he added, his voice quieter, tinged with something raw, “it comes with a shop at the bottom. An apartment above. I will pay for you to do whatever you want with it. Bookstore, cafe, tutoring center… you can even become a yakuza member, and I’d support you.”

You let out a watery laugh, your shoulders shaking as you wiped at your face.

“So please,” he murmured, the vulnerability in his voice breaking something inside you, “just… come to me.”

For a moment, you couldn’t speak, the weight of his words and the love behind them pressing down on your chest. You stared at the screen, at the tiny, crouching character that mirrored the man waiting for your answer on the other end of the call.

“I don’t deserve you,” you finally choked out, your voice trembling.

“No,” he said firmly, his tone cutting through your tears. “I don’t deserve you. But I’m trying. I will keep trying.”

You took a shaky breath, staring at the ring on your desk, the snow globe beside it, and the spreadsheet glowing on your screen. Your heart ached with how much thought and effort Satoru had put into this. It wasn’t just a plea—it was a plan, a future laid out neatly in rows and columns, each detail a reflection of how deeply he wanted you there.

But reality came crashing down as the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Satoru, I can’t just… up and leave.”

The silence on the other end of the call was deafening.

“I mean,” you stammered, tears pooling in your eyes again, “my job, my family, my life here… I can’t just drop everything and move across the world like it’s that simple.”

His soft exhale carried through the call, and when he spoke, his voice was low, careful. “I know it’s not simple. I know it’s asking a lot.”

You could almost hear the tension in his shoulders, the way he was likely running a hand through his hair the way he always did when he was trying to stay calm.

“But,” he continued, switching to Japanese, his words trembling slightly, “君がいないと、どこにいても空っぽなんだ。(Without you, no matter where I am, it feels empty.)”

You pressed a hand over your mouth, trying to muffle the sob threatening to escape.

“Satoru,” you whispered, “it’s not that I don’t want to. I just…” You trailed off, the weight of everything crashing over you. “What if I get there, and I can’t adjust? What if it’s too much? What if I make the wrong decision?”

“Then we’ll figure it out together,” he said immediately, his voice firmer now. “If it’s too much, we’ll fix it. If it’s the wrong decision, then I’ll make it right. I’ll make everything right.”

You shook your head, even though he couldn’t see you. “It’s not that easy.”

“It doesn’t have to be easy,” he said, switching back to English, his accent thick but steady. “I just… want to try. I want us to try. That’s all I’m asking.”

The words hung between you, and for a moment, all you could hear was the soft hum of the computer and the faint sound of him breathing on the other end of the call.

Finally, he spoke again, quieter this time. “You don’t have to decide now.”

Your breath hitched, and you gripped the edge of the desk tightly.

“Take time,” he continued. “Think about it. But… don’t throw it away. Don’t throw us away. Please.”

Your tears spilled over as you stared at the spreadsheet, the apartment listings, the job offers. The life he was building for you, brick by painstaking brick.

“I’ll think about it,” you said finally, your voice trembling.

His relief was audible, even through the call. “Okay,” he murmured, his tone softening. “That’s all I ask.”

Neither of you said anything for a long moment, the silence heavy but not unbearable.

“I miss you,” he said finally, his voice so quiet you almost didn’t hear it. “So much.”

“I miss you too,” you replied, playing with one of the knick knacks on your desk.

After you ended the call, you sat there for a long time, staring at the ring, the snow globe, and the spreadsheet on your screen. Your heart felt like it was being pulled in two directions, the weight of the decision pressing heavily on your chest.

Would it be a mistake to up and leave?

The question haunted you, whispering doubts in the quiet moments when you let yourself think too much. But chances like this… chances like him don’t just happen.

Love doesn’t just happen, and people don’t love like he does—not the way Satoru does, with his boundless energy and sincerity. He had carved a space for you in his life, in his heart, and in his plans, and no matter how much you tried to reason against it, you kept coming back to the same conclusion: you wanted to try.

You spent the next week discussing it with your family. They asked questions, expressed concerns, but ultimately, they saw the way your face lit up when you talked about him. Your dad grumbled something about “city boys” but added, begrudgingly, that it was your life to live.

Occasionally, you’d talk with Satoru. He was kind enough not to bring it up, giving you the space you needed to process. Instead, your conversations drifted back to the easy familiarity you’d missed so much. You began to sleep on calls again, his soft breathing in the background lulling you into a peace you hadn’t felt in months.

And when the deadline for your teaching contract came, you didn’t sign it.

You packed up your classroom, the memories of each lesson and every student tucked away in boxes marked Fragile. Boxes that will be left at your parents. And then you stared at one last box sitting at your front door, adorned with haphazardly placed Fragile stickers and taped-over Minecraft decals.

To: My Minecraft GF

From: Your Minecraft BF

The words made you laugh despite yourself. He really was a loser when you thought about it—a ridiculously sweet, lovable loser.

You snapped a picture of the box and sent it to him, expecting he’d already be asleep given the time difference.

But your phone rang almost immediately.

“You got it!” Satoru chimed brightly, his voice so full of joy it made your heart ache. “良かったね (Good, right?)! I was kind of worried it wouldn’t get there in time.”

You hummed, lifting the box and carrying it inside your apartment. The sound of it made him pause.

“Satoru, what is this?” you asked, setting the box down carefully on the counter.

“Mmm,” he mused, his voice softening with a teasing edge, “just things you’ll need for when you move here, obviously!”

Your heart stuttered at the ease with which he said it. “You sent me a box of… necessities?”

“Yup!” he said, laughing softly. “I took the liberty of doing all the hard stuff. Moving here is めんどくさい (a hassle), you know? Paperwork, bank accounts, utilities—it’s insane. But don’t worry, I’ve got it all figured out.”

You smiled faintly, running your fingers over the tape on the box. “You’ve really thought of everything, haven’t you?”

“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “You deserve the easiest move ever. I just… want it to be perfect for you.”

The emotion in his voice caught you off guard, and you blinked back the sudden sting of tears. You weren't sure when you started becoming a crybaby around him.

“Satoru,” you whispered, your voice trembling slightly, “you didn’t have to go through all that trouble.”

“I wanted to,” he said simply, his tone so earnest it made your heart swell and pound in your chest. You almost feared it would burst. “I want you to feel like this is your home too. Not just mine.”

You swallowed hard, leaning against the counter as your fingers traced the edge of the box. “Thank you,” you said softly.

“Open it!” he encouraged, his excitement palpable. “I want to hear what you think!”

You laughed quietly, grabbing a knife to cut through the tape. “Alright, alright, I’m opening it.”

Inside, you found a mix of practical items and Satoru’s signature quirks: a guidebook to navigating Japanese bureaucracy, a prepaid Japanese SIM card, a set of keys on a keychain shaped like a tiny Minecraft diamond sword, and—because it was Satoru—a plush whale shark.

“I saw the whale shark and couldn’t resist,” he said sheepishly. “I thought it could keep you company on the plane.”

You laughed, holding the plush to your chest as your tears finally spilled over. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you love me for it,” he teased, his voice soft but confident.

You sniffled, nodding even though he couldn’t see you. “Yeah,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I do.”

The line went quiet for a moment before he spoke again, switching to Japanese, his tone lower but filled with raw emotion.

“じゃあ、帰ってきて。(Then come home.)”

And so you did.

The moment you walked out of customs, the chaos of the bustling airport seemed to fade into the background. There he was, standing tall and impossible to miss, with his white hair practically glowing under the fluorescent lights. He held a hand-made sign that read “Welcome Home, My soon-to-be Wife” in messy, oversized English letters. The corners of the sign were adorned with doodles of hearts and what you thought were supposed to be doodles of the two of you, though Satoru’s artistic skills left much to be desired.

You froze, your chest tightening once again. It wasn’t just the sight of him—it was the way his bright blue eyes immediately found yours, as though he’d been scanning the crowd for no one but you. His lips stretched into a grin, so wide and boyish that it tugged at something deep in your chest.

“Y/N!” he called out, waving the sign enthusiastically and nearly hitting an unsuspecting traveler. His voice carried over the noise, his accent still heavy, but the sound of it warmed you in a way that made the past months of waiting melt away.

You wove through the crowd, your carry-on dragging behind you, until you were close enough to see the subtle flush on his cheeks and the slight tremor in his hand holding the sign. “My flight was on time, you lunatic,” you said, a smile tugging at your lips.

“Details,” he replied, his grin widening as he tossed the sign aside and pulled you into his arms.

The hug was overwhelming, his warmth engulfing you as he buried his face in your shoulder. You could feel him take a shaky breath, and his voice came out softer now, almost reverent. “会いたかった。(I missed you.)”

Your throat tightened, but you managed to whisper, “I missed you too.”

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his hands still resting on your shoulders. His blue eyes scanned your face as if to memorize every detail, and then, with a teasing smirk, he said, “Did you cry on the plane? Thinking about me?”

You rolled your eyes, smacking his chest lightly. “Not even a little.”

“Liar,” he said with a laugh, grabbing your carry-on before slinging an arm around your shoulders. “Come on. I’ve been waiting for hours, and I’m starving. Let’s go home.”

The car ride was quieter, the hum of the engine filling the spaces between soft words and lingering glances. Ijichi, ever the patient (forced to be) assistant, focused on the road while Satoru made himself comfortable in the backseat.

He leaned against you, his head resting on your shoulder as his hand slipped into yours. His fingers toyed with yours absently, like he couldn’t quite believe you were real.

“You tired?” you asked, glancing down at him.

“うん、ちょっとだけ。(Yeah, just a little),” he murmured, though the way he clung to you said otherwise. “Not tired—just… happy. You’re here.”

The simplicity of his words made you smile softly. You squeezed his hand, leaning your head against his. “I’m here.”

As the car wove through the streets of Tokyo and into the quieter outskirts, you felt peace as you ran your fingers through his snowy white hair to which he hummed.

When the car pulled up to the house, you couldn’t stop the small gasp that escaped your lips. It wasn’t at all what you had expected. Nestled at the end of a quiet street, the traditional Japanese home stood with its sloping tiled roof and wooden lattice windows, surrounded by an overgrown garden that seemed to be fighting to reclaim the space. The setting sun cast a golden glow over it, illuminating the imperfections—the peeling paint, the worn steps leading to the entrance—but also the charm that made it feel alive.

“It’s… old,” Satoru said, scratching the back of his neck as he stepped out of the car. He glanced at you, his expression a mix of excitement and hesitation. “Needs some work. A lot of work, actually. But I thought…” He trailed off, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“You thought what?” you asked, stepping out and taking it all in, the scent of fresh earth and the faint buzz of cicadas filling the air.

“I thought it could be ours,” he said softly, his gaze darting away from you. “You know, something we build together. Like a project.”

Your chest tightened as you turned to him, taking in the nervous way he kept glancing at the house and then back at you. You stepped closer, slipping your hand into his. “It’s perfect,” you said, your voice steady.

The tension in his shoulders melted as he squeezed your hand, his grin breaking through. “Yeah?”

You nodded, smiling. “Yeah.”

He exhaled deeply, his free hand brushing through his hair. “Good. Because I might’ve, uh, skipped a step or two when I bought it. Like asking for your opinion first.”

You laughed, giving him a playful shove. “That’s pretty on-brand for you.”

“Hey, what can I say? I’m a man of action,” he teased, his grin widening as he tugged you toward the front steps.

And he was a man of action. That much had been proven in the whirlwind of lawyer meetings, paperwork, and sleepless nights that had led to this moment. Somehow, he’d managed to cut through the red tape and jump through the countless hoops required to make you not just his wife, but also a Japanese citizen. A home-owning Japanese citizen. A future business owner.

The weight of it all pressed on your chest for a moment, the enormity of this new life making your stomach twist. But before you could spiral too deeply into your thoughts, Satoru gave your hand another tug, grounding you with the warmth of his touch.

“Come on,” he said, leading you toward the private entrance tucked beside the storefront. “Wait until you see it. You’re gonna love it.”

The apartment sat atop the shop, its entrance marked by a small, well-worn door that opened to a narrow staircase. He pulled you along with an almost childlike eagerness.

The stairs creaked as you climbed, and when you reached the top, Satoru paused, fishing out a set of keys from his pocket. He fumbled with them for a moment before pushing open the door, stepping aside to let you in first.

“Welcome home,” he said softly, his voice laced with a mix of pride and vulnerability.

As the two of you walked into the apartment, the weight of everything you were stepping into became more real. The wooden floors creaked under your feet, and the air smelled faintly of cedar and something older. The tatami mats in one room were worn but still beautiful, and the kitchen, though outdated, had a charm that made you picture quiet mornings and shared meals.

“This kitchen,” Satoru said, leaning against the doorway, “needs upgrades. Like, a lot. But I already have plans. Fancy ones. Don’t worry—I’ll handle it.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You’ll handle it?”

“Of course,” he said, his grin widening. “I’m a very handy husband, didn’t you know?”

“Sure you are,” you teased, rolling your eyes as you ran your fingers along the wooden countertop. “It really is beautiful, Satoru. It feels like home.”

His teasing demeanor faltered for a moment, replaced by something softer. “That’s the point,” he said quietly.

But before the conversation could deepen, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He sighed, pulling it out and glancing at the screen.

“Family?” you asked gently.

He nodded, his expression shifting. “Yeah. I told them today.”

Your stomach twisted. “Do you want me to…?”

He shook his head quickly. “No. You don’t need to hear this.”

He stepped out onto the porch, his voice low at first as he spoke into the phone. But it didn’t take long for the conversation to escalate.

“お母さん、聞いて。(Mom, listen.)” His voice was firm but calm, though the tension in his shoulders was clear even through the doorway.

“結婚した？(You got married?)”

“Yes,” he said, switching briefly to English before reverting to Japanese. “僕たちはもう夫婦だ。(We’re already married.)”

“私たちに何も相談しないで？(Without consulting us at all?)”

“相談する必要なんてないでしょ。(There was no need to consult you.)”

Your heart sank as you stepped closer to the door, hearing fragments of the conversation.

“伝統を無視していい理由にはならない。(That doesn’t mean you can ignore tradition.)”

“伝統って？僕の人生を誰か他の人に決めさせることが伝統だっていうの？(Tradition? You mean letting someone else decide my life for me is tradition?)”

The silence that followed was deafening before his father’s voice broke through, lower and colder. “彼女は一体何を持っている？お金？地位？名誉？(What does she have? Money? Status? Prestige?)”

Satoru froze for a moment, his hand tightening into a fist. “彼女が持っているのは、僕を愛してくれる心だけだ。(What she has is a heart that loves me.)”

You swallowed hard as you realized how much he was standing up for you—how much this moment might cost him.

When he finally ended the call, he stepped back inside, his face flushed with frustration. He looked at you, his expression softening as he muttered, “怒ってる。(They’re angry.)”

You hesitated, wringing your hands. “私のせいで？(Because of me?)”

“違う。(No.)” He stepped closer, his hands finding yours. “これは僕が選んだことだ。君を守るのは僕の責任。(This was my choice. It’s my responsibility to protect you.)”

“But they’re your family,” you said softly, your voice trembling.

He let out a breath, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “君も僕の家族だ。(You’re my family too.)”

His blue eyes softened, and the tension in his face faded as he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “心配しないで。(Don’t worry.)”

You nodded, about to speak before he interrupted.

“Now,” he said, breaking the moment with his usual grin, “let’s go figure out what’s for dinner. I’ve been married for, like, two minutes, and I already feel like I deserve a good meal.”

You laughed, swatting his arm as he pulled you further into the house. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love me for it,” he teased, his voice finally light again as he led you toward the kitchen.

After settling into your new home, you and Satoru decided to explore the neighborhood and find a place to eat. The evening air was cool, carrying the scent of blossoming flowers as you walked hand in hand down the quaint streets. Street lights began to flicker to life, casting a warm glow that reflected in Satoru's bright blue eyes.

You stumbled upon a cozy, traditional restaurant tucked away on a quiet corner. The wooden exterior and noren curtains gave it an inviting feel. Inside, you were seated at a low table near a window overlooking a small garden. The soft murmur of conversation and the clink of dishware created an atmosphere of serene intimacy.

At dinner, Satoru was already whining about how much he desperately wanted a big wedding, his voice rising dramatically enough to draw glances from nearby tables.

“I’m just saying,” he began, his lips pouting as he leaned closer, “we deserved better than a courthouse wedding. It’s terrible how many loopholes foreigners have to go through to get here.”

His fingers laced with yours on the table, his thumb brushing over your knuckles absentmindedly.

“You deserve the big cake, the beautiful dress, the embarrassing 叔父 (uncle) who drinks too much—all of it!” He hummed softly before lifting your hand to his lips, planting a tender kiss on the back of it.

You couldn’t help the way your cheeks warmed at his words, the sincerity in his tone catching you off guard.

“First,” he continued, his expression brightening, “we’ll get that little shop of yours sorted. I’ve already talked to contractors—”

“Satoru,” you interrupted gently, glancing away from him.

He paused, tilting his head curiously as he studied your face. “Too fast?” he teased lightly, though there was a flicker of concern in his eyes.

You hesitated, your voice quieter when you finally spoke. “We got married on a whim. What if this is just a honeymoon phase?”

Satoru had always been the type to jump head first into things. This wasn’t going to be any different for him.

His grin faltered for a split second, but then it returned, softer this time. “A honeymoon isn’t supposed to be a nightmare,” he replied, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “You’re cruel, my wife.”

Before you could respond, he brought your hand to his lips again, this time pressing a flurry of featherlight kisses along your knuckles.

“Satoru,” you hissed, pulling your hand back slightly, “people are staring.”

“Let them stare,” he said with a wink, his voice dropping to a soft murmur as he leaned closer. “I don’t care who’s watching. You live in my thoughts, in my dreams—you’re everywhere to me.”

Your breath hitched as he sat back, his expression unusually serious. “I’ve never known love to feel like this,” he admitted, switching to Japanese as his words grew more raw. “君がいると、初めて本当に愛を知った。(With you, I’ve truly understood love for the first time.)”

You looked away, overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze, but he reached out, gently cupping your cheek and turning your face back toward his.

“I am so sure about this,” he said firmly, his eyes never leaving yours.

For a moment, the noise of the restaurant faded away, leaving only the two of you in your little world. His thumb brushed your cheek as he smiled softly, his voice dipping to a whisper.

“Trust me, Y/N. This isn’t a phase. It’s us.”

You felt your chest tighten, the doubts that had been bubbling at the edges of your mind beginning to dissolve.

“I’m just scared,” you admitted, your voice barely audible.

“I know,” he replied, his tone steady. “But I’ll keep proving it to you. Every day. For as long as it takes.”

And so you both had little life moments that ultimately led to your big day.

Like IKEA.

“We could have gone to a department store,” Satoru whined, stretching his impossibly long legs out as he sat cross-legged on the floor. His white hair was already sticking up from where he’d run his fingers through it in frustration.

“We’re saving money,” you replied, pulling out the infamous IKEA instructions and flattening them on the floor.

“Not saving time,” he shot back with a teasing grin, leaning back on his hands as he watched you. “But if my wife wants IKEA, then my wife gets IKEA!”

You rolled your eyes, nudging him with your foot. “Don’t start. This was your idea too.”

“Was it?” he hummed, pretending to think. “I feel like I was tricked into this.”

Five hours later, the two of you sat in front of a half-built entertainment center. You both looked disheveled—Satoru with his sleeves pushed up, his hair a wild mess, and you with a pencil tucked behind your ear.

“This… should not have taken five hours,” you muttered, glaring at the pile of screws still sitting in the box.

Satoru groaned, resting his forehead against the edge of the unfinished piece of furniture. “We’re paying for the assembly next time.”

“I told you to follow the instructions!”

“I did follow them!” he shot back, switching to Japanese mid-rant. “でも、これめちゃくちゃだ！(But this is ridiculous!)”

He reached for another screw, cursing under his breath as it refused to cooperate. You stifled a laugh at his frustration, which only earned you a dramatic glare.

“You’re laughing now, but you’ll be crying when this thing collapses under the weight of all my consoles,” he huffed, gesturing toward the collection of vintage Nintendo systems and the PS5 sitting nearby.

“Your consoles?” you teased. “Pretty sure half of those are mine.”

He smirked, his irritation melting away as he looked at you. “Fine. Our consoles. But I’m still blaming you if this thing falls apart.”

When the entertainment center finally came together, you both sat back, exhausted but victorious.

“Not bad,” Satoru admitted, inspecting the finished product. Then, with a mischievous glint in his eye, he leaned over and kissed your temple. “Still hate IKEA, though.”

“Me too,” you said with a laugh. “But admit it—it’s kind of nice, isn’t it? Building something together.”

He smiled, his teasing tone softening. “Yeah. It is. But we could have just built something in minecraft too.” To which he earned a slap from you.

Then there was your first argument.

It wasn’t about anything catastrophic, but it felt significant nonetheless—like a crack in the foundation you were building together. And though the language barrier between you was smaller than it had been when you first met, it still had a way of making difficult conversations even harder.

“I just don’t understand why you don’t open up!” you exclaimed, your voice bouncing off the walls of the apartment. “Some days you’re as open as a flower, and then others you shut me out completely!”

Satoru stood by the kitchen counter, his hands braced against the edge as he avoided your gaze. You could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his jaw tightened as he processed your words.

“I’ve noticed how exhausted you’ve been lately,” you continued, your voice softening slightly. “You’ve taken on the family business and you’re still teaching night classes at the university. You can’t keep going like this, Satoru.”

He muttered something in Japanese under his breath, too quiet for you to catch, before finally straightening up. His voice, when it came, was sharp and fast, the words spilling out in rapid-fire Japanese.

“君に全部を話すのは簡単じゃないんだ！家族の期待、仕��のプレッシャー、全部が僕を押し潰しそうで…(It’s not easy to tell you everything! The expectations of my family, the pressure from work—it feels like it’s crushing me!)”

“Slow down, please,” you interrupted, holding up a hand as your frustration bubbled over. “I can’t keep up when you talk that fast.”

He rolled his eyes, muttering another string of Japanese before slamming the door as he left the room.

You stared at the now-closed door, your heart pounding as anger and confusion swirled inside you. “So we’re acting like children now,” you muttered under your breath, your voice dripping with irritation.

The silence that followed was deafening, broken only by the faint creak of the floorboards as you paced the living room, occasionally glancing at the shut kitchen sliding door.

It took nearly an hour before the door opened again.

Satoru leaned against the doorframe, his hair disheveled and his expression guarded. He held something in his hands—one of your favorite mugs filled with tea.

“飲む？(Drink?)” he asked softly, holding it out to you. His English wavered slightly as he added, “For… peace?”

You hesitated before taking the mug, the warmth of it grounding you. “Thanks,” you muttered, glancing up at him. “Are you ready to talk now?”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “ごめん。(Sorry.)”

“For what?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For… yelling,” he said, his words slow and deliberate as he switched to English. “I… don’t talk about my feelings well. In Japanese or English. It’s hard.”

You nodded, sipping the tea as you waited for him to continue.

“家族の期待はすごく重い。(The expectations from my family are so heavy.)” He switched back to Japanese, his voice quieter now. “そして、自分の弱さを君に見せるのが怖い。(And I’m scared to show you my weaknesses.)”

You frowned, setting the mug down as you reached for his hand. “I’m not here to judge you, Satoru. I’m here to support you. But I can’t do that if you keep shutting me out.”

He looked down at your joined hands, his lips pressing into a thin line before he nodded slowly. “I know. I’ll… try. Really.”

You smiled faintly, squeezing his hand. “That’s all I need.”

He met your gaze, his usual teasing grin returning faintly, though the hint of uncertainty in his eyes betrayed him. “So… we’re good? You still love me?”

“Depends,” you said, raising an eyebrow, crossing your arms for added effect. “Are you done slamming doors like a child?”

Satoru winced dramatically, running a hand through his messy hair. “Ouch, low blow,” he muttered in Japanese, “でも、たぶんそれは正しい。(But maybe that’s fair.)”

You raised an eyebrow further, watching as he tilted his head like he was weighing his options.

“Okay,” he said finally, his hands raised in mock surrender. “No more slamming doors. Promise.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, pretending to think it over before relenting with a small smile. “Good. Then yeah, we’re good. And I still love you. For some reason.”

He lit up at that, his grin widening into something more familiar, more Satoru. “For some reason?” he repeated, feigning offense as he leaned closer. “Excuse me? I am incredibly lovable, thank you very much.”

“Debatable,” you teased, but the warmth in your voice undercut your words.

He smirked, his teasing tone softening into something more serious as he reached out to cup your cheek. His thumb brushed lightly against your skin as his voice dipped, switching to Japanese.

“君が怒っても、俺はいつも君を愛してるよ。(Even when you’re mad, I always love you.)”

“Then maybe don’t give me a reason to be mad next time,” you whispered, your lips twitching into a smile.

“Deal,” he said with a laugh, pulling you into his arms. “But only if you promise not to glare at me like that. It’s scary, you know.”

“Scary?” you scoffed, but your laughter was muffled as he buried his face into your shoulder, holding you tightly as if to make up for the earlier tension.

“Terrifying,” he murmured against your skin, though the smile you could feel against your shoulder told you he didn’t mind one bit.

Yet, you still had your difficult moments with him. Moments like meeting his parents.

The Gojo family estate was vast—almost intimidatingly so. It was the kind of place you’d only ever seen in dramas or movies, with sprawling gardens, traditional architecture, and the faint, soothing sound of water trickling from a nearby koi pond. The scale of it was breathtaking, but it also made you acutely aware of just how far removed this life was from your own.

“You have your own bathhouse and hot spring?” you asked, staring at the steam rising from the far end of the property.

“What? You don’t?” Satoru teased, his grin smug.

You rolled your eyes, smacking the back of his head lightly. “You’re impossible.”

He chuckled, rubbing the spot where you hit him. “Careful, wife. They might be watching,” he said, glancing around dramatically.

Your stomach tightened at the reminder of why you were here. His parents. The people who had made it clear over the phone that they were less than thrilled about your marriage.

Satoru must have noticed the shift in your expression because he immediately stepped closer, his hand finding yours. “Hey,” he said softly, his teasing tone replaced with something gentler. “It’s going to be fine. They’re… difficult, but they’ll come around. Eventually.”

“And if they don’t?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“それならそれでいい。(Then that’s fine.),” he said firmly, his blue eyes meeting yours. “君は俺の家族なんだから。(You’re my family now.)”

When the two of you finally entered the main house, it felt like stepping into another world. The polished wooden floors gleamed under the soft light filtering in through the shoji screens, and the faint scent of incense lingered in the air.

His mother was the first to greet you, her sharp gaze sweeping over you like a scan. She was poised and elegant, every inch the matriarch of a powerful family. Her lips curved into a polite smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“これが奥さん？(So, this is the wife?)” she said, her tone clipped but not outright hostile.

You opened your mouth to respond, but Satoru stepped in immediately, his arm slipping around your waist.

“そうです、お母さん。(That’s right, Mom.)” His grin was disarming, but his tone carried a hint of challenge.

His mother’s eyes lingered on you for a moment before she said, “少なくとも見た目は悪くないわね。(At least she doesn’t look bad.)”

Your stomach churned, but you managed to bow politely. “ありがとうございます。(Thank you.)”

She raised an eyebrow at your response but didn’t say anything further, instead turning toward Satoru.

“悟、私たちの期待を知っているはずよ。(Satoru, you should know our expectations.)”

“知ってるよ。(I know),” he replied smoothly. “でも、僕の選びに自信がある。(But I’m confident in my choice.)”

His mother’s lips pressed into a thin line, but she said nothing.

Dinner was tense.

His father sat at the head of the table, his presence quieter but no less imposing. He said little, but the disapproval in his gaze was unmistakable. His mother, on the other hand, seemed determined to test you with pointed questions and subtle remarks.

“あなたは何ができるの？(What can you do?)” she asked at one point, her eyes narrowing slightly. “家族に貢献できる能力はあるの？(Do you have any abilities that can contribute to the family?)”

You opened your mouth, but Satoru cut in before you could speak.

“お母さん、そんな言い方やめて。(Mom, don’t talk like that.)” His tone was light but firm, the edges of his grin sharp.

She turned her attention to him, sighing dramatically. “悟、こんな女性を選ぶなんて、あなたらしくないわ。(Satoru, choosing a woman like this—it’s so unlike you.)”

His grin widened, though his hand tightened slightly around yours under the table. “それが僕の魅力でしょ？(That’s my charm, isn’t it?)”

Later, as you and Satoru strolled through the serene garden, the tension from dinner lingered like a faint fog in the crisp evening air. The koi pond reflected the moonlight, its ripples breaking the stillness, but your mind was far from calm.

“Well, that was… something,” you said, glancing at him as you walked side by side.

“See? Not so bad,” he replied casually, though the slight slump of his shoulders betrayed him.

You raised an eyebrow. “Your mom basically said I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“And she’s wrong,” he replied immediately, his tone firm as he slipped his hand into yours. His fingers interlaced with yours as if to ground you.

You frowned, glancing at the ground. “But what if they never accept me? What if they always look at me like I don’t belong here?”

He stopped walking, gently tugging on your hand to make you stop too. When you looked up at him, his expression was soft but teasing, his blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his lips curving into a grin. “Even if they hate you, I’ll keep you around like a little Pokémon. My little Pokémon.”

Your lips twitched as you tried to suppress a laugh. “Your little Pokémon?”

“Mm-hmm,” he nodded solemnly, leaning closer as his grin widened. “I’ll carry you around in a Pokéball if I have to. Feed you berries. Make you fight other Pokémon for me.”

You finally burst out laughing, swatting at his arm. “You’re ridiculous!”

“But it worked, didn’t it?” he said, his tone smug as he straightened up and began walking again, still holding your hand.

His humor, silly as it was, had a way of making the world feel lighter, more manageable.

“Seriously, though,” he said after a moment, his voice softening. “I don’t care what they think. You’re my wife. My partner. That’s all that matters to me.”

The sincerity in his words made your throat tighten, and you gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Thanks, Satoru. For always making me feel like I belong.”

“You do belong,” he said firmly, his grin returning. “Now, come on. Let’s see if I can find another reason for you to smack me tonight. It’s becoming my favorite sport.”

You laughed, shaking your head as you let him lead you deeper into the garden, the tension from the evening melting away with every step, maybe moving to japan wasn’t so bad.

The shop came together slowly. What started as an empty, tired space transformed into something warm and inviting, with walls freshly painted in a color you both agreed on after hours of debate and laughter. The floors, once scuffed and dull, were polished until they gleamed, and the large windows let in sunlight that danced across the room in golden patches.

Satoru was there every single day. He showed up with coffee in the mornings, his hair messy and his grin wide, and stayed until the late hours, determined to see the shop come to life. He insisted on helping with everything—painting walls, unpacking boxes, even assembling shelves, though you’d banned him from building furniture unsupervised after the IKEA incident.

“Careful with that,” you said one afternoon as he attempted to hammer a nail into the wall for a shelf.

“I am careful,” he replied, pouting slightly as he adjusted his grip. “You don’t trust me?”

“Not when it comes to tools,” you teased, earning a dramatic gasp from him.

He placed a hand over his chest, his blue eyes wide. “You wound me, my love. My dear, sweet wife, doesn't her manly husband help her?”

You threw a pencil at him that he dodged with a boyish giggle. You loved your little idiot.

The grand opening was a whirlwind of emotions. From the moment you flipped the sign to “Open,” the little bell above the door jingled nonstop as customers poured in.

Satoru was your biggest cheerleader, practically buzzing with excitement as he handed out flyers outside.

“My wife’s shop!” he announced proudly to anyone within earshot, switching between Japanese and English as he grinned from ear to ear. “She’s amazing! You have to come see it!”

Every time a customer entered, he followed them in, gesturing around the shop with exaggerated enthusiasm. “見て、全部彼女のアイデアだよ！(Look, everything was her idea!)”

You caught him once talking to a group of teenagers, pointing to a shelf. “That one? I built it. With these hands. For her,” he said, dramatically placing a hand on his chest. “Pretty romantic, huh?”

You rolled your eyes at him from behind the counter, but your smile betrayed you.

That night, after the last customer had left and you’d flipped the sign to “Closed,” the two of you sat behind the counter. The shop was quiet now, the soft glow of the overhead lights casting a warm light over the space.

Satoru leaned back against the counter, watching as you counted the day’s earnings. His expression was relaxed, but his eyes were filled with pride.

“Successful first day,” he said softly, breaking the silence.

You nodded, setting the stack of bills aside. “It went better than I expected.”

He leaned closer, resting his chin on your shoulder. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

You turned to look at him, your heart swelling at the sincerity in his voice. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” you admitted.

He grinned, pressing a kiss to your temple. “You could’ve, but I wouldn’t have let you. Watching you build this…” His voice trailed off for a moment, and he sighed contentedly. “I’ve never been more proud of you.”

You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them away, leaning into his touch.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “For everything. For believing in me. For doing this all for me.”

“Always,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer. “I am the best husband, after all.”

And finally, the big day came.

Two years of building your life together in Japan. Two years of pushing through challenges, laughter, tears, and countless shared moments that made you stronger. And now, the day you’d dreamed of was here—your big wedding.

What you weren’t prepared for, though, was the overwhelming anxiety of it all.

The Gojo family name carried weight. As the heir, Satoru’s life was always under scrutiny, and this wedding was no exception. A small fortune had been spent on the event—no expense spared. The guest list was a who’s who of Japan’s elite, from business tycoons to celebrities, and social media buzzed with headlines like “A Cinderella Story: Gojo Heir Marries Foreigner” and “Love Beyond Borders: The Gojo Wedding”.

The sheer magnitude of it all made your hands tremble as you adjusted the flowers in your bouquet for what felt like the hundredth time. You fidgeted with your dress, smoothing the fabric and taking a deep breath as you stood at the grand doors to the altar.

Your father stood beside you, his arm steady under yours. He grunted softly, giving you a small, reassuring smile, though you could see the glint of unshed tears in his eyes.

“You ready, kid?” he asked gruffly, his voice thick with emotion.

You nodded, though your heart felt like it might leap out of your chest. “I think so.”

The music swelled, and the grand doors slowly creaked open.

This was it.

The sunlight streamed through the ornate stained-glass windows, casting colorful patterns on the polished floor as you stepped forward. The room was a blur of faces—guests turning to watch you with awe and admiration—but none of it mattered.

Your eyes locked on Satoru.

He stood at the altar, impossibly handsome in a tailored suit that fit him perfectly. His broad shoulders were relaxed, but his hands clasped in front of him betrayed the slightest hint of nervousness.

The moment he turned to look at you, everything else melted away.

His pale blue eyes widened, the teasing sparkle you’d grown so used to replaced by something softer, something raw. His boyish grin faltered for a moment as his gaze traveled from your face to the delicate details of your dress and back again.

Then, just as you reached the halfway point, his grin returned—but softer, warmer, and tinged with vulnerability. His lips parted slightly, and you watched as he blinked rapidly, his shoulders stiffening.

Gojo Satoru, the man who could laugh through anything, was holding back tears.

You bit your lip to stop your own emotions from spilling over, focusing on your steps as you walked down the aisle. When you finally reached him, your father placed your hand in Satoru’s, his grip firm as if passing you over was the most important thing he’d ever do.

“Take care of her,” your father said quietly, his voice gruff but thick with emotion.

Satoru nodded, his usual bravado nowhere to be found. “Always,” he replied softly, his voice trembling ever so slightly.

When you turned to face him fully, he squeezed your hand gently, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soothing motion.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. Then, switching to Japanese, he added, “世界で一番きれいだ。(You’re the most beautiful in the world.)”

The ceremony was stunning—flowers perfectly arranged, sunlight filtering through the venue in golden hues, and soft murmurs from the guests creating a gentle hum of anticipation. But everything faded into the background as Satoru stepped forward, your hands in his, the warmth of his touch grounding you in the moment.

He cleared his throat, his usual confident grin replaced by something far more vulnerable. His pale blue eyes met yours, filled with emotion, and as he opened his mouth to speak, you could hear the nervous tremor in his voice.

“If I… uh…” he paused, his tongue darting out to wet his lips before he tried again. “If I had known I was going to meet the love of my life on some… some family-friendly Minecraft server…”

He stopped, a soft chuckle escaping him as he switched to Japanese without realizing it. “本当に信じられなかった。(I really wouldn’t have believed it.)”

The crowd chuckled gently, but his gaze never wavered from yours. He switched back to English, his accent thicker than usual as he struggled through his nerves. “I… I thought life was enough. Being the best at everything. Being by myself. Accepting that there were dreams I… couldn’t reach.”

He swallowed hard, his voice trembling slightly as he slipped back into Japanese. “そう思ってたんだけど…君と出会うまでは。(That’s what I thought… until I met you.)”

His grip on your hands tightened, his thumbs brushing over your skin. “Until I met her. My wife,” he said, his voice breaking slightly on the word. “My wife who left her hometown. My wife who… who came here to build a life with me.” He stopped, blinking rapidly as tears gathered in his eyes. “My wife who…挑戦するたびに強くなる。(Who becomes stronger with every challenge.)”

A soft sniffle escaped him, and he let out a shaky laugh, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand before returning it to yours. “I can’t wait to… uh…” He faltered, switching back to Japanese as his emotions overtook him. “歳を取るのが楽しみだ。(I can’t wait to grow old together.)”

The guests leaned in, captivated, as he tried again in English, his voice raw. “To have… sick days with you. Laying in bed… with runny noses. Soup… soup warming in our kitchen.” His laugh broke through the emotion, and he sniffled again, blinking back tears.

“I can’t wait to… to have little arguments… and big ones. Ones that show how much we… we care.” His lips quirked into a wobbly smile, his eyes glistening. “I can’t wait to… to go to bed with you every night. And wake up to you every morning. With the sun shining through the window.”

He exhaled shakily, his voice softening as he continued in Japanese, the words spilling out like a confession. “君に似た子供が欲しいな。(I hope our children look like you.)”

You heard the crowd gasp softly, their emotion mirroring his as he continued, his voice thick with tears. “I can’t wait to live the rest of my days with you. 君だけだ。(You’re my one and only.)”

You couldn’t stop your own tears now, your heart aching with how much love and vulnerability he poured into every word. Something that was so unlike him.

He hesitated, his voice a trembling whisper as he leaned forward just slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. “Are you… ready for forever?”

You nodded, your voice breaking as you whispered back, “Ready.”

The officiant’s voice was a blur, the moment surreal as Satoru finally leaned down, his lips brushing against yours in a kiss so tender, so full of emotion, it felt like the world itself paused.

The applause, the cheers, the tears of the guests—all of it faded into the background.

And with that. You had landed your fairy tale ending.

A/n: I tried to really showcase domestic bliss but also the challenges of a new relationship and the challenges of moving in after a long distance. I cut out A LOT, this series rots my brain. I could continue it for ages, but I fear that all good things must come to an end to stay good, and I'd like to work on some other characters. Thank you all for taking the time to read the fic and leave such nice comments. Truly had been a wonderful journey.

Some more thoughts nobody asked for, but it's information that I feel like needs to be elaborated.

Who fell first?

Reader...but Satoru fell extremely hard. It was when he ended the call that he had to do math problems just to keep him from texting you. He didn't realize it at first though.

Do they have kids?

Yes! 2-3 actually, Gojo family ends up coming around to the reader after everything. Especially when the kids are born. The mother becomes a bit softer. Though Satoru doesn't trust them with overnight babysitting, he leaves Suguru or Nanami for that. Gojo does end up leaving teaching, but when his kids get older, he does go and do experimental demos in their classes. 100% takes fewer business trips. If they're longer, he tries to make them a family vacation. Unfortunately, he does his best to give his kids a normal childhood, but with the family name, they do have to go to private school.

Why no smut:

Was originally going to be yandere, but I wanted something fluffy to work on. This is why I didn't include smut. However, I imagined the reader having no experience, so when things did come down to it. Satoru was very gentle and reassuring the whole time, so much that she slapped him for it after he said, "Is this okay?" For the hundredth time.

Again, thank you all for reading. 🩷

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #jjk #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo fluff

148 notes · View notes

ghost-proofbaby · 1 year ago

Text

twenty four hours (modern!eddie munson x fem!reader)

HOUR TWENTY FOUR

in which you and eddie win the bet.

→ tropes: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, slow burn

→ warnings: strong language, upside down does not exist, minors dni

→ wc: 7k+

→ a/n: oh, holy fuck. holy fucking shit. i have no words, because i know it's not really over yet (we still have an epilogue, friends! don't forget that!) but... i did it. i finished another fic. that's just... insane?

thank you to everyone who has been so very kind and supportive of this fic. i owe you all the world. i'm sure i'll either make a sappy post between now and thursday, or i'll get extra sappy in the a/n on the epilogue, but for now - please know you have all my love. <3

masterlist.

spotify playlist.

◁ previous part, next part▷

24:00 ─────────────── ㅇ 24:00

DINGUS: hey, i facetimed them for last hour’s proof. had to work out when they wanted me to head over and pick her up.

BIRDIE: both still alive? both still well?

DINGUS: so it seemed.

ARGYLE 😎: what a relief! I knew they had it in them

JOHNNY BOY: They still have to last one more hour.

NANCE: They’ll last the hour. Have a little faith, babe.

JOHNNY BOY: Still don’t like the fact we’ve just started calling them instead of requesting the photo proof. I mean, how do we not know they’re lying? Did you talk to both of them when YOU called, Nance?

NANCE: Yes, I told you guys that.

NANCE: Besides, you guys already know that Eddie hates having his picture taken. We’re lucky we ever got picture proof to begin with.

DINGUS: also i JUST facetimed them??? physically saw them?? your lack of trust in me and nance kind of hurts jon

BIRDIE: @NANCE hey can you call ME babe next?

HOUR TWENTY FOUR – 4:00 PM

“Hey there, love birds. Glad to see you didn’t kill each other.”

Steve.

You wait for Eddie’s arm to leave you, for him to put space between the two of you, but he doesn’t. He keeps you pressed flush to his side as if the sudden arrival of a friend doesn’t make the slightest bit of difference.

“Hey, Harrington,” he even casually greets first.

He’s making no move to get up off the floor.

Just a little bit longer. Let me sit here and live in this moment a little bit longer.

“Munson,” Steve nods to Eddie before setting his sights on you, “Doll. Nice to see you, kind of glad I’m not having to fish you out of the canals.”

You feel it — Eddie’s arm tenses behind you ever so slightly at Steve’s nickname. Clearly, it’s still a sore spot for him to work through.

“I was feeling generous,” Eddie shrugs as if he hadn’t just revealed a flash of jealousy to you. You’re not even sure if he knows that you felt it. But it was there, in the slightest tightening of his grip and the flexing of his bicep behind your shoulder.

“Generous? I think you were feeling friendly,” Steve waves his hand between the two of you, as if he thought he was pointing out the obvious.

If he thought this was close, he’d faint at the imagery of you on the kitchen counter, Eddie’s face between your legs as he begged for you to let him touch you.

Just as you had noticed Eddie’s jealousy, he notices the way you suddenly heat up, shifting in your seat ever so slightly. That pull on the corner of his lips tells you all you need to know. You kind of hate how easily the two of you can finally read each other. You kind of love the way he’s looking at you as if he’s thinking the exact same thing.

“Do I get my free punch now?” you finally speak up, tone flat as you muster a glare in Steve’s direction. You’re forgoing all polite and pretend oblivion.

Every single one of you here knows what happened. The bare bones of it, at least.

Eddie looks at you curiously, “Excuse me?”

Steve only grins, holding out his arms as if welcoming you, “Take your best shot.”

You stand quickly, and Steve even flinches. He clearly had thought it was all a bit, but you were deathly serious. After the night you’d had, you wanted to punch something, anything.

“Hold on,” Eddie fumbles to follow you as you stand in front of Steve, your eyebrow cocked as you pause, “Hold on, why are you punching Harrington?”

“Oh, I don’t know. ‘She’d never go for me, why would she go for you?’” you remind him, and fully expect for hurt to flash across his face. Instead, merriment continues to tug on his lips, “That ring a bell?”

“It might,” Eddie drawls, slowing down his movement to stand more casually, no longer in a rush to break up the fight. His eyes flash with something, with some sort of affection as your hand curls into a fist threateningly and you continue to glare daggers at Steve, “‘S cute to see you defending my honor, sweetheart.”

Your knees almost physically wobble. The nickname that once struck such anger and irritation in you has become your favorite thing, something that can so easily elicit such a physical reaction. Any taunting has dissipated from his tone when he falls from his tongue now. Adoration takes its place.

Steve looks between you two for a second before his face twists up, “God, I think I liked it better when you two hated each other.”

“Never really hated each other,” Eddie corrects Steve, but his eyes never leave yours.

“Right, must have slipped my mind.”

One of the questions that had been torturing you has now been answered — Eddie would, in fact, be acting differently around your friends. It’s almost enough that you feel no need to punch Steve.

Almost.

“Where do you want it?” you tear your gaze from Eddie, looking back to Steve now expectantly, “Cheek? Nose? Chin? Jaw?”

Steve’s eyes widen. “My God, have you just been dreaming of this moment for the last hour?”

“I have.”

Eddie leans back against the wall, still watching and still smirking as he crosses his arms.

“I know Eddie’s your boyfriend now but-“

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you correct him quickly, but something inside of you twists at saying that.

He wasn’t your boyfriend. You two had just agreed you’d need time apart before even thinking of exploring what this new chapter will bring you two. So why does it feel so wrong? Why do you suddenly feel like a pathetic teenager, desperate to bestow some cheesy title upon her crush?

Eddie nods when you suddenly look at him, as if he can read your mind, “I’m not her boyfriend. Just… her scary dog.”

Scary dog privilege. And God, does that moment feel light years in the past now. Years ago rather than hours ago. His promise to protect you suddenly rings truer now. If you ever did find yourself in trouble, you knew he’d answer your call. You knew now why his protection only extended to you. You finally, finally understood.

“Scary dog?” Steve squints at Eddie, and his judgmental demeanor has fully returned, “What the fuck does that even mea-“

He doesn’t get to finish the sardonic sentiment. The slap of your palm interrupts him.

“Ow!” he yelps out, head snapping from the force of the hit and hands already coming up defensively.

Eddie pushes off the wall the moment Steve’s hands are up in the air, “Lay a hand on her in retaliation, Harrington, and I’m breaking your arm.”

All the joking, cocky demeanor has faded. Like he had said — scary dog privilege. It applies to more than just pricks at the bar.

“I’m not,” Steve grumbles, rubbing at the red imprint now singing his cheek, “Jesus Christ, I said a punch.”

You fight a smile, “I don’t know how to throw a punch.”

“I can teach you,” Eddie pipes up, now standing beside you, hovering in your orbit.

“Don’t-“ Steve puts out a warning finger, “-encourage her. I only said you could punch me because I knew you couldn’t throw a punch!” he continues to cradle his face, now pouting at you, “Do you feel better now?”

You only answer with a triumphant smile. Because your palm is stinging, and you know violence isn’t the answer, but yeah. You do feel a little bit better.

“I don’t,” Eddie hums. He only has to take one step forward for Steve to back up, throwing out defensive eyes as he narrows his eyes, “Think I deserve to get a slap in, too, Stevie.”

“Fuck that,” Steve spits, eyes wide with genuine fear that makes you want to giggle, “You do know how to throw a punch. If I’m letting you get a free one in, I deserve twenty four hours notice.”

“Then consider this your notice.”

Is this what I had always been missing out on?

You always knew Eddie was playful with everyone, had witnessed how he joked with friends, but you’d never been included. The thought that this was the new normal makes your heart nearly burst. To be on Eddie’s side finally, to be in his good graces properly, makes you feel as if you belong more than any private movie night with Steve or impromptu dinner date with Robin. More than any night out with Nancy. More than any smoke session with Argyle, and more than any literature debate with Jonathan.

It’s as if Eddie was the missing link. You never felt you belonged, because you’d always ached for your rightful spot at his side, not just amongst the group.

The three of you stand in a makeshift circle and every single one of you smiles. Even Steve, through his slipping pout and swollen cheek, is grinning.

Suddenly, it’s not quite as heavy as it once felt.

Everything has changed. Leaving now is not leaving forever.

“I’d pay to see that,” you comment, taking a daring step to bump shoulders with Eddie. His eyes meet yours, his dimples come to life, and suddenly — you’re home, “Think I can get a front row seat to you beating Steve’s ass?”

Steve starts to protest but Eddie only nods eagerly, “I think that can be arranged.”

“I am once again reminding you two that I liked your screaming matches more than whatever this,” his hand flails, motioning to the way you two are standing closer to one another than you are him, “whole teaming-up-against-me bit is.”

“We’re not dating,” you’re reiterating as Eddie laughs out, “Stop being a crybaby.”

You look at one another again. Another foot in the door of your newfound home, another look into your new place to rest your head. It’s as if you’re just now realizing you’ve spent the entire year missing Eddie, even as he was right there in front of you.

“Well, God save us all when you two are finally dating,” Steve mumbles with a shake of his head.

“If-“ Eddie starts to correct, but you stop him.

It’s not an if when it comes to you two dating, you decide. It’s a when.

“I’ll send a gift basket when the day comes,” you snark. The look that Eddie sends you could heal every wound ever left behind, right then and there.

You’re home. When Eddie throws his arm around your shoulders and Steve rolls his eyes at you two (affectionately, even if he’d deny it), you know you’re home.

—

But then, you actually do have to go home.

You try to put it off. The three of you occupy Eddie’s living room for a while, Steve complaining about the way Robin woke him up endlessly throughout the night and how he never did finish that assignment due in his English Literature class. It reminds you that life will continue on; you have to go back to work and school, deal with daily annoyances that should seem bigger than all that’s happened with Eddie tonight, but they don’t. They all seem minuscule now, really.

“Do we still have to send photo proof?” Eddie asks once Steve’s tirade has waned. You’re sat between the two boys, Steve’s body turned almost completely to face the two of you while you and Eddie slowly sink back into the cushions.

You’re sure if Steve knew the activities that had taken place on this couch, he would not be sitting so comfortably. If at all.

Steve sighs at the mention of the bet, “You probably should. Jonathan’s been antsy about it the entire time. Me and Nance tried to cover for you guys, lying about calling and stuff but-“

“Why would you lie?” you inquire, uncurling a bit from your overly comfortable position to stop from falling asleep and actually participate in the conversation.

“Because, unlike the other idiots,” Steve gives a pointed look at you and then Eddie, “We had a hunch about what was going on here. And it’s about time, by the way.”

You think over his words for a second before you look at Eddie with sudden embarrassment, “Have you- Oh my God, have you been telling Nancy what we’ve been doing?”

“What?” Eddie sits up straighter, looking just as panicked, “No. No, absolutely not, I-“

“What have you guys been doing?”

Both of you ignore Steve as Eddie continues on.

“-just spoke to her on the phone once or twice. But I didn’t give her any details. Have you been telling Steve what we did?”

Steve, still being ignored, repeats himself, “What have you guys been doing?”

“Absolutely not,” you scrunch your nose at the thought of being that honest with Steve. You loved him, truly, but not enough to tell him about those kinds of things, “I’d rather sleep in the canals than tell him.”

“What have you guys been doing?”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up, and he mockingly stabs himself, “Ouch, sweetheart.”

“Not like that,” you backtrack, but more casually as the worry of Steve and Nancy knowing the truth, “I just meant-“

Eddie interrupts with a hand on your knee and a smile on his face, “I know what you meant. I’m just fucking with you. I feel the same way with Nance.”

“Guys?” Steve grows further impatient, “I- What the fuck did you guys do? Oh my God, is it even safe to sit on this fucking couch right now?”

“You don’t wanna know,” you say.

“No, it isn’t,” Eddie says.

It earns him a slap on his stomach as he leans over in laughter at the way Steve launches out of his seat.

“You guys- No. No fucking way,” Steve brushes at the back of his jeans, as if they’re contaminated, “Nope. No way. You’re just fucking with me, Munson.”

“Am I?”

Another slap lands on Eddie’s shoulder as he laughs harder.

“Steve,” you turn to your friend, trying to smile sweetly, “Sit back down.”

“No.”

“You just said you don’t believe-“

“We should get going,” Steve insists through his blush, “You two should take your final picture and we should get going.”

Eddie finally stops chuckling, leaning back up and against the armrest, his ankle cross in front of your shins as he stretches his legs out and sighs, “God, you should see your face right now, Harrington.”

Steve’s scowl deepens, “It’s not funny. Take the fucking photo so we can go.”

You make no move to dig out your phone, because you know. You know once you take this photo, you’ll be leaving, and this will all be over. Once you step foot back into that hallway, time apart begins. Learning how to navigate this new unknown with Eddie begins. It terrifies you, it saddens you, it exhausts you. You hadn’t been prepared for this part of the night.

Even before the confessions, you hadn’t given much thought to the ending of the twenty four hours. You’d assumed it would end in bloodshed and a larger than life fight, probably before the clock even ran out. You’d never assumed it could end in laughing, inside jokes between you and Eddie, in something not only bitter but also sweet.

“Phone, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers as he leans forward and holds out his hand with the palm up, “Before we traumatize the poor guy any further.”

“I will wait in the car, I swear to God-“ Steve starts to protest as you finally dig your phone out of your pocket.

You’re looking down, unable to meet Eddie’s gaze in fear of him picking up on your faint sadness, as you mumble, “Get your panties out of their twist, Steve. Jesus.”

Eddie snorts at that, right as you pass your phone over.

Steve doesn’t comment when you willingly tell Eddie the code to unlock your phone, or the way you let him hold it rather than you. He doesn’t comment on the arm that Eddie seems to constantly keep around you now.

He’s doing it while he can. Cherishing being able to hold you at any capacity before you leave and the distance begins. The time apart you two agreed upon won’t be for forever, but it still kills a buried part of him that had just begun to sprout roots again. A thing made of hope that he planned to tend to this time around.

“So, how do we wanna do this?” he asks in a strained tone, as if asking that question and throttling you two closer to the finish line physically pains him.

You hope it pains him, selfishly, because it pains you. “No idea.”

“We’ve gotta make it a good one.”

“We do.”

Eddie suddenly lights up with an idea as his thumb sweeps across your screen, opening your photos’ app and scrolling up to the first picture you two had taken at the beginning of this night.

“Up for a trip down nostalgia road?” he teases, wiggling his brows as he holds the phone up for you to get a clearer view of the picture.

Eddie, flipping off the camera and scowling. You, hardly smiling with a pathetic thumbs up.

“Yeah,” you breathe out, nodding slowly.

It’s unspoken, what happens next. The camera app is opened and Eddie returns your phone to your grasp. The two of you resituate to mimic the photo as closely as possible while Steve fiddles with some of the items on Eddie’s entertainment center.

You stretch out your arm, put your thumb up into view, blink away any tears burning the back of your eyes. Eddie’s hand has taken position as well.

You snap the photo before you can think too hard on it.

“Think that’ll be the winner?” Eddie curiously asks as you immediately bring the phone close to your face, swiping to view the snapshot just taken. And when you do, with the refreshed memory of that first photo, your heart physically aches.

Almost an identical image. At a quick glance, it’s the same Eddie and the same you from the first one. But the similarities fade the moment you look closer. Eddie isn’t scowling, not genuinely – those damn dimples are even making an appearance as his eyes were squinted up in a valiant effort to fight off the smile he wears now. And your smile, your smile, is no longer half-assed. It’s something real, something full, something even a bit sad. The same face you wear when saying goodbye to an old friend and trying to hold back any tears until their train has long since left the station. You can almost physically see your vines in this photo wrapping around the two of you, clinging so desperately to avoid any separation. Time apart. You’re regretting suggesting that now.

It’s a cute photo. A photo of two friends, if you could call yourself and Eddie that now.

“All done?” Steve interrupts the moment, both of you and Eddie only staring at the photo. You take a peak at him out of your peripherals, and you can see it written plainly on his face – he’s feeling all the same emotions as you. Something sad, something nostalgic, something reluctant. “Not to rush the process but… I may or may not have a hot date tonight to get ready for.”

Eddie tears his gaze from the photo, “A hot date?”

“A hot date,” Steve nods, a boyish grin gracing his lips, “And I’m picking her up in… t-minus…” he pauses, checking his watch, “Three hours.”

“Smart move. Charm her before I rearrange your face and all.”

Steve throws his head back in a groan, “You two won’t be letting that go any time soon, will you?”

“Nope,” you chime in as you swipe to open up the groupchat, not offering Steve a single glance until you’ve sent off the final addition of photo proof to the rest of your friends. You consider adding some sort of sarcastic comment, some well earned bragging and a boisterous told you so, but you don’t.

It doesn’t feel like you’ve won. Leaving this apartment, this battleground, with all the new bruises and healed wounds you’ve acquired over the span of the twenty four hours doesn’t taste like victory. Really, it tastes like… nothing.

There’s no victory, no solid ending for you to cling to. It’s simply ending and there’s still thousands of words you have to say to Eddie. You need more time, another twenty four hours, to fill with every single thing you never told him. More casual confessions of honesty, more hours wasted in his bed, more insignificant bickering to partake in. It’s all on your tongue and desperate for attention, and yet, you know you can’t succumb to it.

You have to go. It’s the last thing you want to do, but you have to.

Steve checks his phone when it buzzes with the notification of your message you sent and opens his mouth, no doubt about to comment on your lack of words with the message, but you’re already standing. It’s like ripping off a bandaid. You need to get it over with, get out of this apartment before you decide you’d rather sink right into these couch cushions and decay just to ensure you never have to really leave.

Eddie’s quick to follow.

“Let’s go,” you say to Steve, grabbing up your bag, not looking at Eddie at the risk of losing all composure.

Neither boy fights you, following you right up to the front door. Steve leads, opening it back up as reality slams you in the chest. As if there’s an invisible barrier here, and you know that in crossing it, you’ll be leaving a piece of yourself behind in apartment 2C.

Leaving now is not leaving forever.

But it sure does feel like it.

Steve awkwardly looks over your shoulder at Eddie, some silent communication you only see his half of as he shrugs and does a timid wave, turning to leave.

One foot hangs midair, your toes beginning to push through that barrier, when Eddie grabs you.

“Hey,” he breathes as he wraps his fingers around your bicep, forcing you to turn to face him. You let him, your body moving to his accord but your eyes still not meeting his, “You good?”

You take a deep breath in through your nose, “Me? Yeah. Yeah, I’m great. I’m… I’m good.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive?”

“Will you look at me, then?”

Reluctantly, so very reluctantly, your eyes meet his. Big, brown doe eyes. This close to them, you can see the way they shine to match yours. You both probably look insane to Steve right now, but you don’t care. Between the sleep deprivation and all the emotions you’ve had to experience over the last day, the tears are well earned.

You almost reach out and kiss him. You almost press up onto your toes and put your lips on his, almost pour every emotion you’re feeling in the moment into a far from innocent peck.

But you don’t.

“We did it,” you croak blandly, “We won the bet.”

As if the Universe is screaming in agreement, you can hear a chime in the distance signifying the hour. Probably the church you recall passing in the middle of the night when the two of you had ventured off to the parking garage. It almost feels as if it’s mocking you.

“We did it,” he echoes as his grip on your bicep loosens. You expect him to let it fall back to his side, nearly begging out loud for him to retract his touch from you so you don’t do something stupid like stay.

You swallow down thick emotions, just like molasses, “I guess I’ll see you around, yeah?”

Time. You two needed time apart.

“Yeah,” he sighs, as he does the one thing you had somehow hoped he wouldn’t yet yearned for ardently – the hand that had wrapped around your arm now cups your cheek, thumb stroking your skin so softly, you nearly melt in his doorway, “I’ll see you around, sweetheart.”

It doesn’t taste like victory, yet it doesn’t taste quite like loss. It’s bittersweet.

You still don’t kiss him. And he doesn’t kiss you, even as his touch against your cheek lingers so heavily before he pulls away.

You cross the barrier and find you were right. You feel that piece of you tear off and flutter to the ground, and you begin to wonder when you’ll have the chance to come back and reclaim not just it, but Eddie.

—

Steve didn’t speak much on the drive back to your dorm, and you’re sort of grateful.

If you were a good friend, you’d ask more about his date. You’d get him giddy as he spills the details about this girl and his plans for the night, chastise and tease him all in good fun. You’d be smiling and making plans for coffee tomorrow morning so he could tell you all about how the date went.

But you’re not a good friend.

You sit in your silence the entire drive, and you pick at your nails, and you selfishly stay focused on Eddie. On all of your own qualms and all your own issues, worrying about what comes next and already feeling your chest tighten the moment you start to think about when see you around will come.

The two of you never discussed that, did you? There was no discussion of just how much time was needed apart.

Steve shifts the car into park in the west lot, right outside your building, “Alright, stop making your cuticles bleed for two seconds and tell me what’s wrong.”

Your hands pause exactly as he requests, caught red-handed. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Something’s obviously wrong. I told you to go get him – and yet, he’s still not your boyfriend.”

“It’s complicated,” your voice finally breaks. There’s no tears this time, just confusion and desperation clawing at your throat.

Because, was it complicated? Was it really?

The last year was what had been complicated. All the pretending and the fights and the tension. All the false beliefs and all the lies overlapping with one another. That was complicated. But this? The feelings you harbored and finally acknowledged for the boy you just left behind?

That wasn’t really complicated.

And Steve knows this, you can hear it in his sigh, “I think that’s the issue.”

“What?” you turn your head towards him, scrunch your brows, even your breathing and try to shoo away the image of Eddie’s wet eyes.

You wish you would have kissed him.

“Look, i just think you two keep making things complicated when they should be simple-”

You didn’t want to hear it. Childish as it might be, you do not want to have to hear this speech. Because you know Steve’s right.

“I’ll see you later, Steve.”

“Wait-”

You don’t wait. You slam the door in his face once you’ve got your footing outside of his car, truly earning your title of bad friend.

Awful. You weren’t just a bad friend, you were an awful friend.

And yet you can’t think on it, leaving it be until you had the time to properly dwell on how you’d apologize later. All you care about now is getting inside your dorm, moping and being miserable on your own. Your strides are longer and faster than they were even when you’d backtracked to Eddie’s apartment, determined to get behind closed doors and to properly mourn all that had been gained and all that had been lost in the last twenty four hours.

Twenty four hours ago, you were reluctant to even step foot in Eddie’s apartment. And now, it’s the only place you really want to be.

Luck refuses to be on your side as you slam into your dorm room, sweaty and tired and just fucking emotional, only to find your roommate there. There will be no dramatic crying, no cinematic scene with your back pressed to the door as you fight back sobs, it seems.

“You look rough,” is all she notes, sparing you a second glance before she returns to whatever she was tasking on at her desk. Her makeup, you think.

Good. Maybe she’ll be heading out, leaving you to suffer alone like you wanted.

“Yeah,” is all you can answer her as the door clicks shut behind you.

Rough’s a good way to put it.

“Think you’ll be here tonight?” she asks, still distracted, “Troy and I are hanging out today – he spent the night here last night, by the way – and if you’re gone again, I was thinking about inviting him back over. Only if you’re cool with it, or already have plans, though. Our RA has this final and I didn’t even have to sneak him in last night-”

She continues on her rambles, never looking your way as you drop your bag onto your bed, and quickly lift yourself to lay right next to it.

Normal. You were having to go back to fucking normal. Your worries were no longer revolving around Eddie or making it through the next hour, no longer preoccupied with keeping your friends up to date in order to ensure a payout of five hundred dollars – now, you just had to worry about boys named Troy and possible room checks by your RA. Finals to be taken, essays to be finished, shifts to be covered at the diner so you’d have enough cash to go out with your friends next weekend.

You should be relieved. But it all just feels impossibly heavy.

Your roommate catches on quickly, and when you only reply to let her know you’ll be here tonight, she stops talking. She focuses on finishing her makeup and gathering her things, hardly even offering you a goodbye as you shift to curl up more comfortably in the center of your mattress.

You should also know better than what you decide to do next. You can’t help it, though, as you tug your phone out of your pocket and unlock it. You don’t listen to the voice inside your head that screams stop as you click on your photos’ app. Ignore the animal inside that whines as you scroll, and you click on the very first photo of you and Eddie.

It’s painful, but you have nothing better to do in your solitude. You don’t linger on the first photo too long, still being fresh in your mind, before quickly swiping along.

The set of matching photos you and Eddie took of one another, black and white socks covering touching toes visible in each one. You nearly laugh at the Darth Vader figurine both of you took turns holding. You nearly cry when you realize you were, in fact, smiling in your photo. A small one, a forced one, but there nonetheless.

The selfie from the bar, your amaretto sour and Eddie’s whiskey & coke lifted towards the camera. The way both of you had tried to look annoyed, over exaggerated and furrowed brows paired with pouting lips. Your thumb swipes subconsciously over the photo for a second too long, and you’re startled when you realized it was a live photo. The moment after the photo was taken, Eddie’s eyes had moved to look at you. And in that live photo, you watched every ounce of annoyance evaporate. Leaving behind something you recognized now. Leaving behind eyes sparkling with a brief glimpse of adoration.

There’s something else you better recognize now in the next photo. The picture you’d taken when Eddie had locked himself into his room, only opening up long enough to insist you took the photo, the one that guaranteed you your money. You had been right – there was a flood of regret on his face. You hadn’t imagined it. But you had also been wrong; he was never looking at your own rotted vines and mourning them; he was looking at his own, tethered and shredded, regretting that he had ever taken an axe to them. You don’t press down to see this live photo. You don’t want to witness that door slamming in your face again.

The two photos taken in his bed. The one in which both your faces are scrunched from the flash, in which you can see the physical wall between you two. And the one in the dark, where you both wear tired smiles, unaware of the night to come.

The photo on the bike, a helmet mostly covering your blushing cheeks, but not Eddie’s.

The photo from the parking garage, meant just for you two.

The photos from Betty’s. You don’t linger on the one of you; you do linger on the one of him.

Each swipe only makes your heart ache more viciously, painful and sharp reminders of the night you had had. You don’t have to press down on another single photo to witness the live outplay of it – each memory is running through your mind in real time as you retrace your steps of the night. Twenty four hours, twenty four steps. With each photo, you watch yourself grow more relaxed, watch smiles come easier without your awareness and finally pinpoint all the care Eddie had been looking at you with the entire time.

You notice the lack of photos from the last few hours. You nearly scorn yourself for it, but there had been no time. There was no time for memories frozen in time amongst all that hard honesty and those sacrilegious revelations.

Except there was one more moment in time frozen for you. You’re quick to exit the photo app finally, leaving behind that picture of Eddie with full cheeks only to open up your text messages.

Your text thread with him. Filled to the brim with bad pastry jokes and underlying need. You remember that urgent want to comfort him, to remind him he was enough. To erase all the hurt and all the old scars caused by a life from before your time with him you still hadn’t become fully privy to.

You’re still rereading the last message, bet you wouldn’t say that to my face, when suddenly a new message appears.

EDDIE: Make it home okay?

Space and time. They are the last things you want, that you need from him right now.

YOU: yep. my roommate just left.

EDDIE: Is your dorm bed as comfortable as you remember?

YOU: like sleeping on a cloud.

You wish you were still in his bed. You wish you were back at the beginning, with him rather than all alone.

EDDIE: Oh shit, you’re trying to sleep? Sorry

EDDIE: I’ll stop bothering you and leave you to it. Sweet dreams.

No, you nearly scream at your phone screen, come back and bother me. Bother me for the rest of my days for all I care.

You’d never sleep another wink if it meant having him. You remember what you told him about starting over, starting fresh. And maybe taking a much needed nap would offer that. Maybe sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time would be the smart choice, letting you awake with a clearer mind and better intentions.

But you don’t want that. The animal inside still clings to all that has happened.

Something about that makes you brave.

YOU: i never said that, and you’re not bothering me.

EDDIE: Didn’t you say you wanted a nap earlier?

YOU: that was earlier. i’m wide awake now.

An internal battle continues to take place. Your mind whispers liar, knowing damn well that if you put down the phone and turned your cheek to bury into your pillow, you’d be out like a light within seconds.

EDDIE: Ah. I see.

You fiddle with your thumbs for a second, stomach churning as you try to come up with a response to keep the conversation going. Technically, when you had said the two of you needed time apart after all that had happened, it should have meant interactions like this as well. Texting each other was not offering each other space.

But he’d started it. That was on him.

YOU: do you remember what i said about space? and starting over?

EDDIE: I do. I’m not very good with giving you space, it seems.

YOU: well, considering you’re on the other side of town, i’d say we’ve got the physical sense of space down.

There’s a pause in his replies that causes you to sit up. A falter. You curse him for not having a smartphone as well, for not having the privilege of being notified whether he was just taking his time typing or if he had put the phone down. You really hoped it was the former, practically wished upon every star that that was what was happening. You hoped he was glued to his phone as you were yours.

Maybe he still had that photo he’d taken a few hours ago, the one you swore you’d heard him take as you dozed off. Maybe he was still staring at it like you had done with all of your photos.

EDDIE: About that…

You stare at the message, the hidden meaning behind it completely lost on you.

YOU: About what?

EDDIE: I’m not home right now.

Your heart clenches.

YOU: You’re not?

EDDIE: I’m not.

YOU: Eddie, where the hell are you right now?

Your mind reels with all the possible choices. He could be at the bar, at the parking garage, at Nancy’s place. He could be anywhere.

But then he only sends a picture in response, and you know where he is.

You nearly topple into three other students from how you sprint down the hallway. You don’t even grab your key to your dorm room, skipping the elevators and nearly throwing yourself down the few flights of stairs in haste. You don’t care how your lungs cry out, you don’t care how your thighs burn, you don’t care how your shoulder aches from how roughly you slam open that front door of the building. You don’t care about the strange looks you get on your way out. You don’t care about the odd angle you twisted your ankle in on that last step.

The only thing you care about is the boy standing there, helmet off and balanced on the seat of his parked motorcycle that he leans on, arms crossed as his eyes light up at the erratic sight of you.

You don’t even check for any traffic in the parking lot as you make your way to him.

“I’m sorry,” he calls out once you’re close enough to hear him, “I know we said give it time and shit, but you left, and I just-”

He doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence.

When you make it to Eddie, you’re in no business to carry anymore regret with you. This time, you don’t just yearn to kiss him, to wrap your arms around him, to pour out all those emotions you were feeling across tongues.

You do it. You kiss him, uncaring for all the stares of fellow students. He nearly falls backwards into his bike from the force of you colliding against him, but he’s quick to catch himself as his hands find your waist.

“You-” you pull back, gasping a bit to start to scold him before his lips follow and interrupt you, “Fucking-” Push and pull. You retreat, and he follows, “Idiot.”

His hands squeeze around you, tugging you a stumbling step closer so that your chests are flushed against one another.

“I am,” he mumbles against your lip, the tip of his nose grazing over your cheek as he refuses to let anymore distance be put between the two of you, “I am a fucking idiot. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

His hands cradle your face and he kisses you this time, reaffirming that he felt everything you had. All those words you hadn’t said, all his own admissions he’d withheld, spill between clashing teeth and eager lips. He takes your breath away, shamelessly, greedily. And you let him. You offer all the air that’s left in your lungs up to him on a silver platter.

When the two of you finally pull apart, eyes opening wide and foreheads pressing tightly to one another, he’s grinning like a fool.

“So, I had a better idea than time apart,” he murmurs, “What if we just… start over?”

“Start over?” you question wearily.

He nods, “Yeah. Just… Just pretend this last year and all our bullshit didn’t happen. Start fresh. Let me not be a massive dick this time.”

His hands drop from your face as he takes a step back, taking you in fully. You want to shy under his gaze, but instead you can only melt. His fondness is a warmth like no other, capturing you by the crown of your head and pouring down over you in waves.

“Okay,” you finally agree, feeling your own cheeks spread and ache in a lovesick smile. Coming home, that’s what this felt like. “Okay, we can start over.”

“Great,” the homecoming warmth only spreads as he straightens up his posture. A very serious look overcomes his face, laced with determination for a brief second until he relaxes it into a friendly smile, doleful eyes meeting yours as every single flower he had ever planted in your chest blooms like a spring morning. He sticks his hand out, nearly making you snort, “Hi, I’m Eddie.”

You can’t help it. His front door is open, a warm glow within welcoming you.

You ignore his hand entirely as you impulsively reach up and interlock your fingers at the nape of his neck, tugging him into you for another kiss.

He pulls back far too soon for your liking, but his hands have also found their spot against the small of your back, “Do you greet all the new strangers you meet like this?”

You roll your eyes, “Shut up.”

He pulls you back in for a chaste peck, and it tastes like home.

“I like you,” you whisper into the limited space between the two of you, “I mean it. I like you so fucking much, Edward Munson.”

He grins, cracking your chest wide open with hope, “The feeling’s mutual.”

taglist: @catherinnn @haylaansmi @gaysludge @paprikaquinn @manda-panda-monium @audhd-dragonaut @blushingquincy @hellkaisersangel @eddieslittlewh0re @ajkamins @prettyboy200 @munsonzzgf @blue-eyed-lion @digwhatudug @madaboutjoe @wickedslashdivine @sweet-villain @somespicystuff @big-ope-vibes @jadequeen88 @sylviin @emma77645 @notbeforelong @lolalanaie @lo-siento-ama @happy-and-alone @micheledawn1975 @aysheashea @moon-huny @munsonswrld @bambipowerblueaddition @averagestudent03 @bakugouswh0r3 @mattefic @mxcheese @bietchz @nativity-in-black @stezzil @vngelis @coley0823 @folklorebau @luvmunson86 @theherothesavior @keene200213 @hargrovesswifee @m-chmcl-rmnc @cherrymedicine13 @iunaelumen777

taglist is now closed.

#my writing #twenty four hours #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #this feels so surreal to post jesus christ #thank you guys genuinely for all the love #i will be making a sappy post before i post the epilogue on thursday #i just #wow #yeah #i did it #again #i finished a fucking fic

1K notes · View notes

crappymixtape · 1 year ago

Text

because of you • part one

PART II • PART III • PART IV • PART V • EPILOGUE // REQ -> @sattlersquarry ❝ an enemies to lovers fic with Steve? 💙 maybe they have to put aside their differences to fight upside down stuff and realize they actually have a lot in common 👀 • 18+ | ( 2.1k – little bit of king!steve, mostly angst with a dash of fluff, enemies to idiots in love, steve x reader )

B E C A U S E O F Y O U • P A R T O N E 🎶 good girls ( john carpenter remix ), chvrches

“Why is she even here?”

“Steve!”

A loud smack cut the air in two as Robin slapped a hand against Steve’s shoulder, rendering the rest of group there in Max’s trailer silent.

Your arms were crossed tightly over your chest, cheeks burning under his gaze, lips twisted into a scowl and trying hard to hold back the daggers you wanted so badly to throw at him.

“She doesn’t know what the hell we’re up against! How’s she supposed to–“

“Steve, none of us knew either, cut her a break.”

“Cut her a break and then what? We all get eaten by a fucking melted people monster?”

“That’s not fair–“

“It’s fine! It’s fine, Nancy,” you cut the girl off, standing quickly from your spot on the couch.

They’d been talking like this since you showed up. Like you weren’t right there in the room with them and honestly you kind of wished you weren’t anymore.

“I need some air,” you grumbled before giving Steve a pointed glare and shouldering open the front door.

The air outside was crisp as you sat down on the front stoop. Not a cloud in the sky and sunlight washing everything in soft golden light, but it all still felt so dark. Like it was harboring thick shadows. Long, spindly, and pitch black. Waiting to wrap their twisted fingers around you.

Waiting to dig into you and squeeze tight.

Waiting to lift you twenty feet into the air and snap your bones like twigs.

Waiting to leave you for dead.

And here was Steve fucking Harrington asking what right you had to be there. Asking what purpose were you gonna serve amongst this “holier than thou” joke of an army. Steve, Robin, Nancy and Eddie had already gotten their asses handed to them by what they’d called demobats, Steve arguably needing serious medical attention, and they wanted to go back? It took everything you had to not leave right there on the spot.

Hell, maybe you should, you thought for a minute. You didn’t owe them anything, especially Steve, but you did owe it to your best friend. The one who basically had a hit out on him. The one who wouldn’t hurt a goddamn fly, but all of Hawkins had already decided he was guilty and you weren't about to leave him.

Eddie.

❝ SO SAVE YOUR BREATH, GIVE A LITTLE OF WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT – DO THEY KNOW SOMETHING I DON’T? ❞

You met him two years ago under the bleachers at the Homecoming football game. It seemed like the perfect place to smoke the joint you’d messily rolled in the car right before you’d come into the stadium and apparently you’d been right, but someone else had already laid claim to it...

“Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but this is kind of my spot.”

He’d been all black leather and denim. Dark curls and clove. Silver rings and chains and heavy boots and maybe you should’ve been more intimidated, but the smile lines at the corners of his mouth gave him away.

“Don’t see a sign anywhere,” you’d shot back, no hesitation. Looked over at him all skeptics and attitude and took a long drag from your joint. Blew the smoke off in his direction and it made him grin like an idiot.

“Been sellin’ weed down here for like…the last three years so–actually, yeah. What the fuck, man. Someone owes me a sign.”

...And that was it, you were a goner. Laughing mid-toke and coughing so hard you cried and it made him feel so bad he gave you a baggy for free. Eddie "the freak" Munson and you – best friends.

Skipped all the stupid dances and football games with you. Paraded around the lunch room like an idiot with you. Threw fries back at the jocks for you when they called you a loser and sat on the floor in the bathroom with you when you cried.

So fuck “King Steve” Harrington.

You had every right to be there, probably even more than he did and you were gonna tell him to his face, but—

“Can I sit?”

The sudden sound of someone else made you jump.

“Jesus, Eddie.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled and sat down next to you. Gave you a sidelong glance and a small lopsided smile. “He’s really not so bad–”

“You’re joking. Right? Tell me you’re joking.”

The boy hummed, dropped his gaze down to the rings wrapped around his fingers and twisted the one on his thumb.

“He doesn’t want me here. None of them do,” you grumbled, frustration fed further by his non-answer and it pulled his eyes back up to you.

“Hey now, that’s not true–”

“Yes it is! Even Nancy looks at me like a kicked puppy.”

That pulled a laugh from him. Made him scoot closer to you and bump his shoulder into yours. “Listen, sweetheart,” the nickname made you soften, but you tried to keep your scowl in place, “We’re all in over our fuckin’ heads, hm? And Stevie boy…he’s seen some shit. He’s just trying to–”

“Just trying to what? Be a complete dickhead about it? Mission accomplished.”

Eddie sighed and roughed a hand over his face. Rested his elbows on his knees and laced his fingers together. He knew what you felt because he’d felt it too. Knew what it was like to get laughed at and mocked in the lunch room. Knew how it was supposed to be between him and the other boy. Hell, he nearly cut Harrington’s face off with a broken bottle a few days ago, but one thing was clear.

Change was possible and Steve Harrington was proof, he just wasn’t great at showing it.

“Alright. He could be less of a dick,” he conceded, propping his chin in his hand and looking at you with his big brown eyes. How could you be mad at that?

You mumbled under your breath about that not being the only thing, but fine, okay, only for you, Eds.

Reaching over he flicked at your fingers and looked at you from under his curls with a stern pinch between his brows. “He’s helping me, sweetheart. They all are. Shit, without them I’d probably be in jail already. Or in Carver’s trunk,” he tried a laugh, but it fell short at the end with the weight of his words and it made you grab at his hand and squeeze it.

“Shut up,” you chided softly, no heat behind it. The anger that had been swelling in your chest all but extinguished.

Silence settled between the two of you then, heavy and tinged at the edges with worry. With everything that was at risk and it started to gnaw at the pit of your stomach. What if you couldn’t fix it? And even if you could, this Vecna asshole was about to end the world anyway so what the hell did it matter?

How were a bunch of kids going to do anything about it?

“Ahem,” the door knocked into your back and jolted you back to earth. Pulled a gasp from you and when you looked up over your shoulder you felt your anger return ten fold. “We’re leaving, geniuses,” Steve announced, pushing at you with the door.

“Least you know you’re an idiot,” you mumbled under your breath, standing up from your spot to glare at him at eye level.

“Real cute,” Steve shouldered past you on the stoop, took the last two steps in one go and turned to face you both as he landed on the grass. “For you, Munson,” he said, throwing a mask at Eddie, “Courtesy of Mayfield.”

“What’s that for?” you couldn’t help asking as Max appeared at your side and pointed so casually – too casually – at the mask.

“Gonna steal a Winnebago. Get that on, dingus. Let’s go.”

“Nice,” Eddie grinned up at the red-headed girl and yanked the mask on over his head, “Thanks, Red.”

“Let’s go,” Steve urged, waving his hands at everyone to get out of the house and you felt your heart racing.

“Steal a Winnebago? Eddie. Fuck that–”

“Honey, I’m already a wanted man–” Eddie cut you off and readjusted the ridiculous looking mask a bit. “–c’mon,” he said, tugging at your belt loop to get with it.

“I–that doesn’t mean you can just steal–”

“We’re way past that,” Dustin chimed in, shoving past you just like everyone else, “Besides, if the world’s gonna end anyway, what’s it matter?”

Shit. The kid had a point. It was probably fine. It was just a trailer. Maybe you could give it back afterward? You needed it more than they did. Right?

“Dammit,” you grumbled under your breath, now the only one still standing around. “Wait for me!”

❝ THEY TELL ME I’M HELL-BENT ON REVENGE, I CUT MY TEETH ON WEAKER MEN, I WON’T APOLOGIZE AGAIN ❞

The first time you ran into Steve Harrington was sophomore year. In the hallway before Click’s class. You were cramming everything into your bag, but struggling with your history book when you heard it coming.

Tommy Hagan’s stupid laugh.

Your stomach sank, eyes glued on your things and trying to ignore it. He was in your science class the year before along with his ditzy girlfriend Carol and they always made sure to get a spot in the back just to make out.

“Need some help?”

When you finally looked up at him he’d stopped right in front of you, the grin on his lips sharklike as Carol smirked out from under his arm. Another boy you didn’t know was standing just behind them wearing a stupid member’s only jacket, half unzipped, and had hair that sat perfectly in place. Too perfect.

“That looks heavy, hm?” Tommy said grabbing your book, voice all saccharine sweet and sharp around the edges. Flipping through the pages he pulled a face, clicked his tongue and weighed it in his hand, then made a show of dumping it on the floor. “Whoops. Sorry!” he half-laughed and your cheeks burned.

“Bite me, Hagan,” you snapped back, bending down to grab your book, and it only made his grin grow wider.

“Ooo. She’s fiesty today, Stevie. I like it.”

And then he chimed in. Stevie. The had-to-be-douchebag that everyone called 'King Steve.'

“Probably on her period,” he said scoffing a laugh, all confidence and bravado and the look on his face was so smug. Thought he was so clever and funny and when you finally turned around it was to take the two steps up to him in one.

“Really? My period? So original.”

It made him swallow hard. Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he blinked back the flicker of surprise glinting in his eyes. He took a quick glance at Tommy like he didn’t want to disappoint him and then hardened his expression. Crowded down over you and nodded.

“Explains you being such a bitch.”

And it took the air from your lungs. Stuck in your sides sharp like a knife and you felt your throat tighten as Tommy and Carol snickered, but you wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction. Not here.

“Yeah. Bet you wish you had an excuse for being such an asshole,” you cut at him and it pulled an Oh shit! out of Tommy as he doubled over laughing, Steve’s mouth dropped open in shock.

Your feet couldn’t carry you away fast enough as you shoved your book in your bag and turned to leave, but you refused to run. Refused to let them see weakness, and as Tommy yelled down the hallway after you about tampons you raised a middle finger high in the air to punctuate just how much you hated them all.

Eddie met you in the bathroom after that, the one nobody used on the other side of school, and you told him everything. He let you have the joint he had tucked behind his ear for emergencies, listened to you and told you they weren’t worth it. Especially not Steve. Because even though Tommy started it, Steve was the one who dug in. Could have left it alone but didn’t and that was what really got you.

How obvious it was he knew how shitty they were being, but went along with it anyway because he had to maintain his status. Had to uphold how ‘cool’ he was and keep the line in the sand drawn between him and ‘the freaks’ like you.

So he wouldn’t get a second chance.

And he wasn’t worth your time.

Not then and sure as hell not now.

[ NOTE: THIS IS PART ONE OF A THREE PART SERIES, PART TWO AND THREE TO COME SOON ]

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist ♥️ reblogs and comments keep me going, friends! ily! ♥️

1K notes · View notes

sorceresssundries · 6 months ago

Text

Rolan's Epilogue Letter

Because we deserve one!

Dear Hero,

I write to you from the balcony of Ramazith’s tower. Below me lies a hopeful, resilient city, bruised but healing, with citizens going about their lives - lives they owe to you. A calm breeze rustles the pages of my book, and I can hear the laughter of Cal and Lia - which grows brighter and clearer each day. We have settled here comfortably, no longer needing to look over our shoulders. There are no torches or pitchforks; and the only shadows that follow us are our own.

I have taken to teaching a few spells to the refugees who have found their way to our doorstep. Some have a rudimentary understanding of spellcasting and glimmers of potential. They even go so far as to call themselves my ‘apprentices’ - though perhaps it is too early to claim such titles. I am teaching them spellcraft, and they are teaching me patience - a difficult lesson, but one I am enjoying for the most part. No matter how slow their learning or how many mistakes they make, I shall not be quick to anger. I may not be the most natural teacher, but I promise they will never know what it is like to have an instructor who relies on cruelty. They will be students, not victims.

Unfortunately, you were correct in your prediction that the tower would come under threat, and I am afraid our defences have not been as effective as hoped. The internal security mechanisms were no match for young Tieflings with sticky fingers and a penchant for mischief. After a few minor breaches, I offered them food and lodging in exchange for their knowledge of our security flaws. As a result, the tower and Sorcerous Sundries have never been safer. I am still missing a couple of amulets, but have been willing to let the matter drop.

I hope your journey has led you to your own peace. Should you ever require a refresher in magic, or simply another opportunity to meddle in our lives, this tower is always open to you.

The Master of Ramazith's tower Your friend,

Rolan

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 rolan #rolan #the rolan empire #the rolan bakery #holy rolan empire

365 notes · View notes

haine-kleine · 5 months ago

Text

i thought the ending couldn't be more disappointing and then this japanese tweet proved me wrong

because all of this is true. Ochako and Izuku will never forget Toga and Tenko and half of their epilogue was about this, however messily done. Ochako dedicated herself to creating better conditions for people like Toga, because she saw how badly Toga was suffering and despite failing to save her and give her a brighter future, she committed to building that future on her own, selflessly gifting it to others. Izuku had failed to save Tenko despite wanting to, and this weights on his conscience eight years later, and will continue to haunt him in the form of Shigaraki's ghost watching him, not letting him forget himself in the happy ending of joining his hero classmates and achieving his dream.

it's still messy and unfaithful as fuck, but at least these two endings still show that the consequences were there. the unfair deaths of the villains weren't simply swept under the rug and forgotten after a few sad talks about them.

and the thing these two cases share in common? Ochako and Izuku really didn't owe it to Toga and Shigaraki to save them. they didn't. they were hero kids thrown in the middle of the war these very villains waged on them. they both were younger than their respective villains, they both were hurt by these villains, they had no prior history with them, and having shared a few conversations was enough to make them emphasize with and humanize the villains. nothing that happened to Himiko and Tenko was inflicted on them by Ochako and Izuku, and yet just seeing that, hearing about that was enough to ignite sympathy in their hearts. because, you know, they are heroes. they are there to save people from suffering. and even when those people are the ones actively hurting them and their friends, they are mature enough to set that aside and attempt to save their human lives.

enter the star of the show, the only character in this story who despite having committed truly villainous acts, is allowed to go consequences free without a single care in the world. Enji. the person who had single-handedly fucked Touya up to the point his mental state was too messed up even for AFO to deal with. he had given life to this baby, and he was constantly made aware of how badly his attitude is affecting this child by Rei. and he couldn't be bothered to do anything for him, not even to look at him. the fire on Sekoto was 100% Enji's fault, not only because he couldn't be bothered to come visit his son on his day off when Touya had asked him to, but also because the number two hero on his day off was too slow to come to the forest near his house to save Touya from the fire or from All for One. this makes Touya being kept under AFO's care for the following 3 years Enji's responsibility, as he was the only one who could have saved Touya from AFO. even after Touya wakes up from his coma and immediately runs to his house as fast as he can, it's Enji's behaviour alone that makes him decide against making his presence known to the family for the following 7 years. this excuse of a father can't even mourn the death of a son he explicitly blames himself for in such way that won't make his entire existence feel meaningless to him.

and after Touya reveals himself to Enji personally as Dabi? he proves that he still hasn't changed at all and utterly fails to do anything about the situation while Shouto has to repeatedly remind him of it. not only was he procrastinating, the narrative was coddling him the entire time, with the support of other heroes and sidekicks, who despite being shown the truth about Enji, choose to ignore it. even the family he has been abusing for years, the family who was mourning Touya together, joins their efforts to support Enji.

Touya's only desires were to be seen and to be heard. both went unanswered, as after showing the world the unfiltered truth of the misery his father had caused to him, the world covered their earths and turned away. after showing himself to his family, they keep looking at Enji, not at him.

even at the very end, the end of the family's hell is more about Enji than about any other character. he is the only one allowed to talk about his feelings in depth, while the rest of them are reduced to barebone imitations of their previously established characters used as props for supporting Enji's character resolution (with the exception of Touya, who is physically unable to speak for longer than 5 minutes a day anymore. wow). even Natsuo cutting off Enji is less about the latter being a horrible excuse of a father and more about Enji's great stoicism accepting everything the family throws at him with a heroic face. Rei's character no longer makes sense because exactly a month ago her mental state and the trauma inflicted on her by this very man didn't allow her to face him at all. and now she is suddenly okay with becoming his caretaker? why is she taking her responsibility for Touya and not talking about Enji's responsibility at all? this was a man who had abused her so badly she had a psychotic episode. you don't just shrug off things like this. you don't sit in a psychiatric ward for ten years after that, waiting to be let out and jump on the first chance of making yourself useful for your abuser. you don't set aside the relationships with the children he had hurt and he had made you hurt to devote yourself fully to your damn abuser. someone take this poor woman out of this Stockholm syndrome relationship.

at this point Touya not being allowed to die is the worst offence, because the survival wasn't granted to him to heal. it was given to him for the singular purpose of making Endeavor look slightly less bad. Enji never even talks about failing to save Touya (and neither is Shouto allowed to). if you wanted to save him, then him being stuck immobile and isolated from the world with only months left to live is not 'the time Shouto gave us with him' it's a failure. he's not your damn pet, why is the narrative making him into one?

Touya had wanted to die. Shouto points this out, Touya himself talks about it. Enji was the one who didn't want him to die. he also didn't want to die himself. somehow, his desire is the only one that is fulfilled, while even Shouto's dream of eating soba with his older brother goes ignored.

and afterwards? Enji happily moves on from this with the new family he had found for himself, while Touya's childhood desire of his family looking at him is fulfilled in the most grotesque way possible. and the family's dream of having a home away from Endeavor? not a chance lmao

#man i can't deal with it anymore #NEED a fix-it #where Touya never talks to his family ever again #if this is the reunion Hori decided to give js #bnha #bnha spoilers #todoroki touya #dabi #todoroki tei #todoroki shouto #anti endeavor #bnha critical #salt #you would think enji was based on hori's higher up with the way the narrative is giving him private lap dances

191 notes · View notes

elodieunderglass · 4 months ago

Note

I am absolutely wild and feral over HDM (legit like, daemons fit SO well. I'm watching dunmeshi wondering where Laios' dog went) and super curious if you do plan a sequel or other fics following this AU??

(In reference to the His Dark Materials / Dungeon Meshi fusion fic)

thank you so much for this question I love this question god!!!! Thank you thank you thank you

God sorry about HDM being delayed, I’m going through hell over it at the moment. It’s meant to end a little after the dragon, then a timeskip epilogue, with special coding so that you can read it two different ways, depending on whether you want spoilers for the manga/season 2. (My idea is that you’ll click a button to reveal/hide it, and the spoiler-free epilogue will be like found poetry.)

Firstly, if you or anyone else would like to take the concepts/characters in His Delicious Materials forward for themselves, you must do this. You don’t need my permission (but I’d love a link! so I can read, scream, reblog, comment, link to it, etc. there is also the “inspired by” setting on ao3 so we can link works directly to HDM, forming a collection for anyone who reads one and wants more.) I don’t own any of it! We are all just having fun! YOU can be the sequel you want to see in the world! If your heart feels a way forward, then follow your heart!! A daemon AU is really about revealing character and I find them really inspiring, like adding a whole engine to a story idea.

If I were to write something to follow up, I do know what the sequel WOULD be! It would be a sort of Discworld novel about the slow social revolution occurring in the half-foots as a chain reaction to Bee settling as a weasel, all occurring behind Chilchuck’s oblivious and unhelpful back. Pushed into a sort of bottleneck of sparrow- and mouse-souls, and marginalised to the very edges of society, half-foots are precarious and endangered. Chilchuck is mostly eating a ham sandwich unhelpfully in the foreground, and at the end of the story looks back and sees to his bewilderment that his people have found a way forward (they don’t have a Shire or a Chosen One, but they do have a goddamn functional worker’s union and their own collective dignity.) kind of Discworld-commentary-comedy, kind of a loving argument with Tolkien, kind of Sharpe hostile-and-awkward-protagonist-POV-doesn’t-know-and-wouldn’t-believe-that-his-men-genuinely-love-him, kind of about the experience of parenting, and kind of gently warmly political BUT FUNNY so it would be ok. but feel it would be too much of a stretch of people’s patience and the original materials’s intentions to call it fanfic. Too many OCs needed to carry the weight, too little reference to the other Dungeon Meshi characters, almost too little “payoff” for what would be a full 70k word work. So maybe to let the story breathe, it would be better worked up as original fiction?

(Plus, that is actually an actual novel: if people write their own novels and manga about orc coffeeshops and dnd parties, I could just write my own too: wait but how do you know if you should?)

Anyway, that is an entirely separate kettle of weasels and my own cross to bear! If your heart cries out for a sequel the best way to manifest it in the world is to write it!

If you feel that A Weasel Heart In Defiance feels like it would scratch that itch, here is a bit that is mildly relevant to Dungeon Meshi, which is Chilchuck and Bee starting to work away from home while the girls were still small. You’ll probably see what I mean from it.

About seven of the village children, including his own three, had a snake in a wooden bucket. They didn't look up.

The reappearance of a random guy who functioned mostly as a postal service and occasionally shouted at them about bedtime - in a way that could be easily blanked out if something more interesting was happening - simply could not be expected to compete for attention with a snake in a bucket.

Chilchuck could recognise this on some level, but as his own children ignored him, he felt very hot and angry, in a way that he had never wanted to feel about children, especially his.

Bee, also rigidly pissed off, growled, "Easy, boss."

This was where Chilchuck did the only thing so far that he was proud of, in this day. He did not start shouting, even though his temper was going something like What the fuck, kids, but worse. He stopped, took a minute, and remembered he'd had this whole thing where he'd wanted his kids to love him. He rubbed his nose, said, "Remind me," and his daemon reminded him: "What do we want them to actually do?"

And he said, "The bare minimum fucking acknowledgement would be nice."

And Bee said, "Have we explained that to them? Do they know?"

So Chilchuck and Bee, hot and tired and cross and still on the job apparently, sat down on the ground with the kids and looked in the bucket. The snake, poor bastard, looked very limp and tired. Chilchuck could relate.

After a while, Chilchuck said, "Girls?"

Or more accurately, something like, "Girls! Girls. Meifleurpatti-I mean Puck-PUCK. Listen up. Mei! Fleur, I'm talking - thanks Fleur - Puck. (Ryeland, stop the baby.) PUCK. Mei, Fleur, Puck - PUCK, eyes on me - thanks, Ryeland - PUCK. EYES," which condensed in parent-speak to a single roar of "Girls!"

When he had them more or less listening, he remembered to set his voice to the more singsong cadence one used for children, instead off the deeper version of his natural voice that he used for shouting at the top of his abilities at tall people; making the choice to be patient and gentle, or at least pretend to be someone who was; and in this manner he said reasonably, "Now, your dad's been away for a very long time and missed you all very much. What do you say? What do you say when your dad comes home?"

Six children stared at him blankly, and the baby toppled gently into the bucket. He fished it out, stuck it sideways under his arm, allowed the snake to escape in the confusion, acknowledged someone's grievously injured finger, stopped Fleur from pinching, took out his pocket handkerchief and wiped Puck's nose in essentially one continuous motion.

To be completely fair, now that he'd let go of the initial anger, he could see that the kids had absolutely no idea what he'd wanted of them. Kids had practically no social instincts at the best of times. Chilchuck coming home was remarkable, sure, but beyond their influence; how were they supposed to react? What do you say to a comet? What do you say to a hailstorm? What do you say when daddy comes home?

He repeated the question, as the children had universally drawn blanks and devolved into staring vacantly.

"Good morning, Daddy!" A child chirped helpfully, setting off the rest in an automatic drone of "good morning, Daddy," in the strangely universal dreary tone of all children saying that.

"So close, Fernwise! Is it morning? What else do we think?"

Bee, fighting for order among the kit-daemons, was simultaneously washing Fleurtom's daemon, Pantoufle's, face; receiving a long rambling report of a grievance from three incoherent witnesses; and minding the baby's chick-daemon; up to her ears in parenting. She said, around a mouthful of Pan, "Speed it up, boss, you're losing them."

"Where are your spots, Daddy?" Pan asked him. He was in the form of a young ferret and scrabbled against his mother's grip on his scruff.

"My what?"

"Your freckles," Bee said grimly, and seeing he'd been temporarily disarmed - and being a valiant beast in her way - charged in to her human's defense, "Is that nice, Pan? We don't want to make people feel bad about their looks, do we?"

"Yes we do," said Fleur.

"Fleur! We've just - we haven't seen much of the sun, that's all," said Bee, taking charge, the best and most loyal soul a man could have. "They'll come back, and they're not spots."

"Mei has spots."

"Freckles."

"Grimbob has spots."

"Yes, and you shouldn't notice," Bee said. "Think of Grimbob's feelings."

"I do, I think he feels spotty."

"I'm thirsty," Puck said flatly.

"Stick to the point, kids," Chilchuck said, recovering from the fact that his usual face was apparently indistinguishable to children from Grimbob's, who had been taking puberty hard. This was surprisingly difficult to do.

Ryeland, a mildly bright spark who was older than the Chils girls, connected two dots and suddenly roared "WELCOME HOME DADDY," so six children all repeated that automatically, and Fleur added sunnily, "I missed you Daddy!"

And just as a very small piece of Chilchuck's heart was finally allowed to melt, she added, equally sunnily, "Mei didn't."

"I did a little," Meijack said vaguely.

"That's great kids, well done, we got there in the end," Chilchuck said. "Remember it for next time, okay? It makes Daddy feel better about his stupid life. Now, next time, let's remember that it's traditional to do a hug."

He realised his mistake instantly, as six children and their daemons all bore him - and the baby he'd forgotten he was holding - to the ground.

___________

#a weasel heart raised in defiance #his delicious materials #daemon AUs #like you see it right that’s not dungeon meshi but it IS definitely a thing that happens raising kids

161 notes · View notes

wordsarelife · 30 days ago

Text

⛧༺ NO BODY, NO CRIME ༻⛧

EPISODE 06: i wasn’t letting up until the day he died

pairing: theo nott x potter!reader

summary: theo and you try to process past nights events, when you stumble upon a hint that could reveal the real killer

warnings: extremely big trigger warning for the whole series, in this chapter: mentions of murder, illegal activities, mentions of blood, wounds, manipulation, grooming

note: welcome back to the sixth episode of nbnc! i’m so excited to have you all back!! so so sorry this is so late, but i had so much today, i hope you still like it :) (ps: epilogue will be published on thursday probably)

please let me hear what you think in the comments!!

the next morning began like it was the most dreaded thing in the world. which wasn’t so far off, if you remembered the final moments of the night before.

neville was dead. sweet, nice, harmless neville. and he had died because of you. because you did everything, but keep out of things that didn’t concern you.

you had ignored the first warning, that draco malfoy had brought. and neville had been the final one.

the next one to die would be you, if you didn’t finally stop investigating this whole thing.

the common room was dead silent when hermione and you came down the stairs. silent whispers hang in the air as people were crying, just finding out about the news.

a few younger students, who didn’t have much to do with neville, looked concerned and had the decency to whisper or leave the room all together.

harry and ron looked as bad as you and hermione.

they had waited for her, harry clasping his arms around the girl as soon as she came close. ginny was nowhere to be seen and ron informed you that she didn’t wanna get up.

ron and harry both send you frosty glances and quickly left you behind when they walked to breakfast. they acted like you had betrayed them, and they weren’t even far off.

hermione whispered a soft “sorry”, before she followed after them.

maybe you could fetch a piece of bread from the kitchen? you were too ashamed to sit alone at breakfast, with the burning gazes of your friends in your back.

but it didn’t come to that.

“ow!” a voice called when the portrait swung open and hit the person standing in front of it.

“theo?” you asked confused at what he was doing here.

“morning” theo was rubbing the back of his neck where the portrait had hit him.

“serves you right!” the fat lady commented “a slytherin shouldn’t be lurking here”

“lurking?” you repeated, quirking a brow.

“i wasn’t lurking!” theo defended. “i was waiting for you and seemingly underestimated the distance i should’ve held”

you nodded, your smile dying down as you suddenly remembered standing in front of the portrait together with theo the night before. your throat tightened.

“hey” theo cooed, pulling you close to his chest and softly brushing a hand through your hair to calm you down. “i’m so sorry, sparrow”

“it’s my fault theo. i should’ve stopped once we received that warning”

“it’s not your fault” theo argued, shaking his head. “i insisted that we continue to investigate. if anything it’s my fault, you did nothing wrong.”

“i’m scared, theo” you muttered, tears soaking the fabric of his jumper. the material was soft, feeling warm against your cheeks. “we have to stop, before someone else gets hurt. i couldn’t bear being the reason. if something happened to my friends or you—“

“shh” theo whispered, pressing a kiss to your hair. “we’ll stop. no ones gonna get hurt. and nothing’s gonna hurt you, okay?”

you nodded against his chest as he pulled you impossibly closer. you breathed in his smell that gave you so much comfort. a mix between nicotine and fabric softener. a feeling of home, even if he had been so foreign a few days ago. it felt like theo and you were the same. like you had been destined to find each other.

theo loosened the hug, taking your hand as he started walking down the corridor.

“wait” you shook your head, freezing in your step. “where are we going?”

“to breakfast of course” theo smiled softly, but quickly sensed your uneasiness, his smile turning into a frown, “what’s wrong?”

“well, my friends basically shunned me”

“what?” theo laughed, before he realized that you were serious. “shit, really?”

you shrugged, frowning at him. “i don’t think they think i’m at fault or anything, but they’re pretty angry i’ve been hanging out with you all that time.”

“well, slytherins are the bad people, right?” theo smiled softly.

“theo” you muttered, shaking your head. “that’s not what they—“

“but it is, sparrow” he interrupted. “i can’t even blame them, just think about that stupid ball yesterday and how everyone there was part of my house. there’s a killer on the loose and they’re just afraid that you’ll get hurt”

“i don’t think you would hurt me. not like that anyway”

theo laughed. “i wouldn’t dare. and as soon as dumbledore finds who did this, there might be less suspicion around our relationship”

“so, you’re not breaking up with me, because my friends are acting like you’re the killer?”

“what does it look like, sparrow?” theo muttered, pushing his hands from your cheeks into your hair to pull you closer, before he connected your lips in a short kiss. “ready?” he asked, leaning back and looking at you.

“ready” you nodded with a soft smile. it looked that with theo everything didn’t seem as bad.

you could feel your friends’ and your brother’s gaze burn in your back when theo and you walked into the great hall. even though they were too far away for you to understand a word, you felt like you could hear every question and every malicious input the group of gryffindors were discussing about you.

for them, this was the ultimate betrayal, the final proof that something was deeply wrong with harry potter’s corrupted sister.

“it’s alright” theo assured, squeezing your hand that was gripping his like a lifeline. “don’t think about them”

your arrival at the slytherin table was met with various surprised looks from the surrounding slytherins but also theo’s friends.

“y/n!” pansy was the first to speak. she robbed to the side, freeing the space between her and mattheo for you to sit. you exchanged a glance with theo, who gave you an encouraging nod, before you settled between the black haired girl and mattheo.

mattheo and enzo both smiled at you. malfoy shortly looked up from his papers to send you a nod, while blaise was still busy arranging food on his plate.

“hey blaise” you smiled, trying to be friendly.

blaise looked up at the sudden greeting. “uh hi” he muttered, obviously confused. “have we met?”

you blankly stared at him, not even remotely knowing what to answer to that.

“yes” theo finally said, jumping to your rescue. “of course” he shook his head, not able to hide his smile, because he found the situation so ridiculous. “don’t tell me you don’t remember y/n, she was the reason you got through divination!”

“hm” blaise muttered, studying your face. “oh! ace, of course i remember you! why didn’t you say that sooner?”

you shook your head, a relieved smile playing on your features admist the awkwardness resolving itself.

“thanks by the way” blaise smiled, pressing his hands together and doing a little bow, before he pushed a plate with a pancake he had coated in jam in your direction.

“uh thanks” you smiled, taking the plate with a grateful smile. “and you did thank me. only yesterday actually”

“huh, i don’t remember” blaise shrugged. “do any of you guys?” the rest of the slytherins shook their heads and theo and you exchanged a confused glance, before blaise leaned over the table and winked at you. “never happened”

“o—kay” you nodded, raising your fork and knife and cutting the pancake in front of you as you began to eat.

“so did you find out who did it?” pansy wondered, as she filled your glass with orange juice.

“no” theo shook his head. “we decided it was for the better to stop looking for answers. after what happened to longbottom yesterday, i mean—“

“it was gruesome” you added “i know all of you didn’t really like neville, but it’s just terrible”

“it is” mattheo nodded and he had an unusual caring look in his eyes when he glanced at you.

“we loved to poke fun at longbottom” pansy muttered. “but he didn’t deserve that”

draco lowered the papers, looking at his friends and then at you and to your surprise he didn’t say anything to contradict their words, but simply nodded.

“you don’t know us well” enzo said. “but just know you can come to us if you need anything, loyality is the most important thing among slytherins”

“enzo is right” mattheo added, exchanging a look with theo, who glanced at him warningly. “we’re here if you need us”

“thank you” you smiled, looking at all of them individually.

“yeah, like literally” blaise giggled. “it’s not like we can go anywhere while this stupid snow storm is still happening”

“i completely forgot about that” theo muttered surprised. “they still didn’t figure it out?”

“far from it” draco finally threw the newspaper onto the table, seemingly finished with reading. “they won’t say it, but all of them are disturbed, especially after what happened yesterday. they’re scared it’ll happen over and over again until we can either leave or the killer is caught.”

“he seems to be smart, right?” pansy asked theo and you.

“well, i guess” you shrugged. “i’m not sure i’m the right person to ask”

“you two seem to have found out more than the teachers” enzo shrugged. “seems like you are”

“well, we found out a little, yeah” theo nodded, before you exchanged glances, silently discussing if it was smart to share the information you had gathered. maybe a controlled share was the best way to proceed.

“we figured out that probably neither the nocturn society nor the artifact had anything to do with the murder. the motives would be too weak”

“yeah” theo agreed, “we also found the weapon”

“the murder weapon?” draco perked up, throwing the newspaper fully onto the table.

“yes” you muttered and you noticed how all sytherins hung on your lips, just waiting to hear what had killed their teacher. “poison. very complicated potion, but also very deadly”

“shut up” pansy said as she leaned back on the bench, mouth wide open in disbelief. “and you tell us you don’t know if he’s smart”

“pansy’s right” mattheo agreed. “not using their wand and brewing a complicated potion? that takes intelligence and planning”

blaise nodded. “the killer had the intention to kill and he knew how to do it without getting caught”

“well, it can’t be a gryffindor then, can it?” enzo joked and theo shook his head.

“we have to stay focused, enz. we were so close” he looked at you. “too close probably. the killer felt threatened, means we’re just a hint away from catching them”

“but the killer thinks that he’s smarter than you” pansy pointed out. “you might be close, but he’s always two steps ahead of you”

“he watched every step” draco added. “knows every secret”

you looked up at theo, before your eyes flew over every single person sitting at the desk. “that means..”

“…it’s someone we trust” theo added.

your mind froze at the sudden realisation. of course! how could you have been so stupid? it was always someone who had been close. someone who believed in himself enough to pull this off. someone who knew that he had made no mistake.

or had he? your mind wandered back. images flew threw your head.

the chandelier ratteling to the ground at the ball, blaise showing you the artifact and telling you about burbage, enzo warning you about the danger it beholds, pansy offering an unexpected allyship, draco giving away warnings, mattheo’s cryptic information about the society and finally burbage’s office.

no, the killer had clad himself in smoke and mystery, but he had forgotten about one single detail.

one single thing that made him distinctive, something that could only be connected to him, as he was smart enough to not have anyone know about his schemes. no alliences, no accomplice. just him.

and now you knew how to identify him.

“i have to go” you said suddenly, standing up from the bench and collecting your things in a hurry. the slytherins watched you in confusion and even theo seemed to be utterly left in the dark. “the library book” you said to him as if it was a reminder. “you promised to come with me to bring it back, remember?”

“uh, yeah, right” you had almost let a sigh of relief break from your mouth at theo’s quick thinking. “thanks for your help guys” he nodded.

the slytherins still looked suspicious, as you waved at them and left the hall in a quick step, closely followed by theo.

his hand was on your hip, just as you reached the hallway in front of the doors, pulling you to a halt. “what is it?” he asked, still not being able to make sense of your hurried escape.

“we forgot something” you explained. “god, theo, we forgot the most important thing ever”

“what?” theo furrowed his brows, his breath hitching at the new information.

“he was smart, he was so smart” you shook your head in disbelief. “but the murder was personal, oh it was so personal” you laughed and theo watched you almost in horror.

“what are you talking about, sparrow?” he asked helplessly “oh for god’s sake just—“

“—the message on the wine!” you spluttered and you had almost done a triumphant dance, if theo’s hands hadn’t been gripping your shoulders this hard.

all colour vanished from his face as soon as the words registered in his mind. “no” he muttered, shaking his head. but he knew in that moment that you were right, his mind wandered back to the message, —to burbage - for when the pressure gets too much. consider this a parting gift.—, and the image was as crisp as day.

“handwritten” you finally said. “she knew him, right? she trusted him, just like we did. she drank it, because she knew it was from him, he wrote it because he wanted her to know that it was him. that he had been the one to betray her, the one to kill her”

“shit, y/n”

“there’s always something distinctive. in every handwriting. the m’s i write almost look like birds. hermione has the neatest handwriting ever, but she curls her g’s a bit too much. and you, you write the t in such a particular way i would recognize it anywhere”

“that’s amazing, sparrow” he smiled impressed. “but dumbledore has the message, how could we check?”

“we don’t have to” you grinned, “i noticed it when i read it the first time, but i was too stupid to make any sense of it”

“so?” theo urged. “what is it?”

“the e” you simply said. “it’s the e. it’s not the normal one most people write, he writes them like a mirrored three. we have to get back to burbage’s office”

“okay, that’s good, no amazing actually. but the message isn’t there anymore, sparrow”

“theo, we might not know everything about the killer, but we know one thing for sure: he was probably a student in one of her classes. and do you remember how her classes were?”

“an assigned essay each week, of course” theo realized. “the proof’s been inside that stupid office all this time.”

theo and you basically sprinted through the halls. you couldn’t reach the office quick enough. it was as if every moment counted, every second could decide the future. and every minute in which you still didn’t know the killer’s identity was a lost one.

you picked the lock, just like you had done when you had broken in the first time, theo standing in front of the classroom to keep watch, before you called him inside, revealing the opened office door.

the contents of the room were in the same state you had left it in a few days before. the desk was still filled with various stacks of paper, which was to your advantage.

“this is gonna take forever” you groaned, pushing one stack in theo’s direction.

“not if we sort out the papers of people that haven’t been near us this week”

“that would make the circle of suspects very scary” you mumbled.

theo shrugged. “as you said before, we trusted them, it has to be someone we know”

“so who would make the cut?”

theo thought for a second, before he began counting names in a low voice. “mattheo, pansy, draco, enzo, blaise”

you nodded, feeling sorry for him. theo had questioned everything these past few days and he had told you multiple times that he wasn’t sure if he could trust his friends. that couldn’t be easy.

you sighed, before you added: “ron, hermione and.. harry”

theo and you exchanged a worried glance, both absolutely disturbed from the chance that the killer was someone so close. but it was the only possibility and you both knew it, as you silently sorted through the essays.

the never ending stacks only seemed to grow as you worked through the papers, not seeing an end yet.

suddenly, there was a disturbance in front of the door. it sounded like someone was rattling on the door to the office. theo and you exchanged hurried glances. but it was too late, both of you had grown far too comfortable, launching on the ground, papers around and in your laps.

the sigh of relief was silmultaneous as the disturbance revealed itself to be a patronus charm, with a message attached. pansy’s voice rang out in the little office.

“the teachers just took mattheo with them” she muttered in a hurry. “they think he did it, they’re taking us in for questioning. i know that he didn’t do it, theo, but they believe it’s him”

the patronus disappeared and left theo and you speechless.

“shit” theo scrambled to his feet. “shit, shit, shit”

“it’s okay” you assured, standing up and gripping his hands, that had been trying to rip out his hair. “you’ll go and answer any question, yeah? i’ll sort through the papers and come as soon as i find the proof. they can’t arrest him if i have the proof”

“are you sure?” theo looked from the papers to you and back. he was unsure about leaving you alone, but you nodded.

“go!” you encouraged, pushing him in the direction of the door. “go”

theo nodded, walking out of the door, but quickly dashing back inside to give you a quick peck. “thank you” he softly said against your lips, before he left the room fully.

you smiled after him, before you got right back to work. in the span of five minutes, you had a small stack with essays from everyone on your suspect list, including your own brother.

harry’s was the first one you checked. nothing.

pansy’s essay was absolutely chaotic and she tended to draw hearts instead of points onto her i’s, but there was no sign of a mirrored e.

mattheo and blaise were fine too. they had written little to nothing, but you could tell enough from it.

hermione’s was neat as always, her writing not faltering and it would’ve suprised you if she had ever even thought about writing her e’s the way you were searching for right now.

the next paper you threw open, made your breath hitch. not only because the handwriting matched the one on the wine message, but because there was a little post it note plastered onto the page.

‘wonderful work as always, darling, can’t wait to see you after dinner tonight’

you and theo had been wrong. yeah, burbage had trusted her killer, but not because he was a student or someone she knew. the killer wasn’t the relative or a friend of her victim. no, the killer and the victim were the same person.

“i wish you wouldn’t have found this”

his voice was the first thing you heard. then pain. you fell forward, the essay slipping from your hands as your head made contact with the hard floor beneath you. your sight was black as you felt him bend over you, your hand searching for anything you could use to fight him. you gripped something, bringing it close to your chest, before the pain registered once again and you lost consciousness.

by the time you woke up, you couldn’t tell how many minutes had passed. the first thing you felt was the cold breeze of the evenings wind. maybe it had been hours since he had taken you, or maybe you had been in that office longer than you could remember now.

you couldn’t move a muscle, probably a hex that was resting on your body.

your eyes snapped open, scanning the room, or more lack of, around you. you were laying in the middle of the wodden platform of the astronomy tower. the very same platform theo and you had talked on only days before, minutes before you found the body of your teacher.

“hello” he smiled, stepping around you and helping you to sit up against a box behind you.

“i would’ve never even thought” you shook your head, tears brimming at your eyes.

enzo giggled relentlessly. “oh, don’t cry, angel” he caught one of your tears with his finger. “i should be the one who’s sad” his mimic changed dramatically, as he took on a whiny voice, “i tried to talk her out of it, but she was so far gone. she told me that the murders had been necessary to fulfill what the artifact had needed from her. but she regretted it and couldn’t live with the guilt.” he paused, smiling at you, before he fell back into his previous role. “i’m so sorry, theo, i tried to catch her but i was too late”

you closed your eyes, silent tears rolling over your cheeks. “she broke up with you, that’s why you killed her, isn’t it?”

enzo laughed. “our relationship was magical and she broke it off from one day to another, like it had meant nothing, like i had meant nothing”

“it wasn’t your fault” you shook your head, trying hard to keep together, despite the hatred that was ready to flood your features. “you are a victim, enzo, she used you, she manipulated you”

enzo stared at you unimpressed. “she loved me” he corrected. “and i loved her too. i did everything for her, was her good boy. and what did i get? not even a proper conversation. she just decided it was over”

“she hurt you” you nodded. “you didn’t deserve that”

“of course i didn’t” he laughed like a maniac. “that’s why i made sure she knew that too. it was almost too easy to paint myself as innocent. the stupid society, the idiot blaise and his artifact, all these bloody people, they played their part perfectly.” he grinned, “even theo. i have to admit that he was the riskiest part of the plan, but he was susprisingly easy to manage. and that just because he decided to fuck potter’s sister, who would’ve thought?”

you looked away, not giving him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“i’ve been in love too, i know how it’s like. you lose sight for everything else. just like at the ball were you two were too occupied making out until that chandelier almost ripped you to shreds. would’ve made a great show, by the way”

he shrugged, before he continued to speak. “the only thing that complicated things was that stupid snow storm”

“complicated?” you repeated in disbelief. “gave you all the time in the world, didn’t it?”

“it wasn’t part of the plan.” he shook his head “charity summoned it. couldn’t have been worse timing. she wanted to give blaise and the other idiots more time to figure out how to work the artifact.”

it was weird to hear the professors first name escape enzo’s lips, without so much as a second thought, like it was his nature to call her by her name. which it was, but it freaked you out nonetheless.

“too bad she gave you time to investigate her own murder, huh?”

“you disgust me” you spit.

“i only had to do what was necessary, angel” he moved a piece of hair behind your ear.

“neville was not necessary” a bit of movement entered your body, making you able to lean back to escape his touch.

enzo frowned. “of course he was” he stood up, looking down onto the ground from the railing. “someone had to find that potion for me. what a shame that longbottom enjoyes to read so much.. pardon enjoyed”

another few tears rolled over your cheeks, your head already hurting from all the crying.

“had to get rid of him just to be sure, god forbid he would’ve made that connection. i was lucky, i guess” he turned around and looked at you, smiling even brighter as he noticed that you were crying even more than before. “and the message it send was just a bonus. how else could i make sure you stay far away from that stupid investigation. but you’re not so good at listening, right angel? we wouldn’t even be here if you had just stayed in line. and i find it awfully impractical that i have to kill such a hot girl, but you’re too young for me anyway” his smile send shivers down your spine.

“i can’t believe she drank that poisoned wine, because i don’t think she loved you, enzo, she used you, that’s all”

“don’t you dare” enzo stepped closer, anger evident on his face. “she was fucking obsessed with me. blinded by love. she drank the whole bottle because she missed me”

“she never loved you”

“she died thinking about me. i was there” he admitted. “that night, i opened the door for her, she said my name before she fell into the snow.”

you huffed. “you were there?”

“well, i had to slip the rune into her hand and make sure someone found her in time. luckily theo and you were right there, like actors in a play.” he paused, a few beats of silence passing by. “is that a game for you guys? stumbling over bodies, investigating murders and then fucking in broom closets? that get you going?”

“shut up”

enzo giggled obnoxiously, shaking his head as his laughter died down. “nah, baby” he grinned. “your turn to shut up.”

he reached for your body, picking you up with ease. “you and me could’ve been a great pair, if you were like twenty years older” he walked you closer and closer to the edge. until only the railing was between you and the ground beneath.

you could feel the wodden beam press into your back. enzo’s breath was hot on your face as he stared down at you. you could tell from his face, that he enjoyed this. almost like it was a game to him, like a sick fantasy that he could get off to.

he caressed your cheek, before softly loosening your ponytail. “makes it look more dramatic” he smiled, as he watched your hair move in the wind.

he pushed you back slowly, like he was trying to let you down easy, almost like you would float to the ground. but the desire in his eyes told another story, he was blood thirsty and he would keep anything you’d give him.

your body gained more and more movement as the hex wore off. enzo furrowed his brows when he felt you pushing against him, body to body.

“trying to keep it interesting, huh?” he laughed, watching attentively as your hand grabbed his underarm. it made you uneasy to see the relaxed reaction he had to you fighting back. like he knew perfectly how easy he could overpower you if he wanted. he was just entertaining you, just enjoying your miserable tries to free yourself from him.

there was no situation where you had a real advantage. both of you knew that. you could only hope for a wonder, but then, you could feel your legs again.

it was like you knew what to do immediately. you moved your arm fast, it was so surprising you really got it free. then your leg knee flew up, kicking enzo in the balls, just as you moved his body closer with both hands on his shoulders.

he groaned from the sudden pain, his body collapsing to the ground. it gave you enough time to get away from the railing, but not enough to reach the stairs before he was on his feet again, pressing your back against his chest. “nice try, angel” he whispered into your ear. you wanted to throw up from the tone of his voice.

so cocky, totally unbothered.

he started dragging you back into the direction of the railing again. you tried to make yourself as heavy as possible, trying to make it as hard as possible for him to overpower you.

“don’t be difficult” he groaned, slowly becoming annoyed at your relentless trying. your hand went through the air, grabbing onto a thick beam, that was not fully brought on, but only leaned against the rest of the construction.

you kicked against it. one, two, three times. enzo looked up from the sudden sound of the beam falling forward. on it’s way down, it hit both of you, as your tried to gamble away.

now the head injury was joined by a gush on your arm. enzo was bleeding at the leg and both of you stayed unmoving for a second. the heavy beam, claiming the middle of the railing as it fell against it, hit the ground with a thud.

“well, that makes it easier” enzo grinned, eyes on the empty space were the railing used to be, before stumbling back onto his feet just as you did.

you sprinted towards the stairs, but before you could reach them, enzo had stepped in your way with open arms. “you’re not leaving yet already, are you?”

you stumbled back, well aware that the missing railing was practically a free passage for you to fall to your death.

maybe there was no escape. maybe you would die by falling off this stupid tower, maybe you would die, becoming the killer that enzo would direct you to be as soon as he would tell his story.

a silent movement behind enzo made you look up. blaise had climbed the stairs, stepping onto the plattform.

your reaction had to have been hopeful enough for enzo to suspect something, as he spun around, facing his friend with a look of surprise.

blaise wasted no time as he reached out and hit enzo in the face. the younger boy stumbled back, holding his bloody nose, before he regained confidence, the surprise finally leaving his body, as he leaped over the platform, throwing himself at blaise.

blaise jumped back, but was still taken to the ground, as enzo began hitting him merciless. he reached for a piece of wood beside him, hitting blaise so hard, that blood splattered into the air and a sharp breath left your mouth.

blaise kept lying on the platform unmoving as enzo climbed off him and turned back around to meet your gaze. there were driplets of blood all over his face, his own, mixed with some of blaise’s. he opened his mouth, widely smiling at you, exposing his teeth to be as blood covered as the rest of his face.

“your turn, angel” he dashed over the platform fast, ripping you away from the wall, you had stood against and moving you closer and closer to the edge. “third time’s the charm, right?” he grinned.

you closed your eyes.

his steps were slow, deliberate, clearly enjoying every ounce of control he had over you. killing was like breathing to him. like it was the only thing that brought him joy. and this person, this killer, was totally different to the person he had been before. it was like something had been awakened in him, ready to strike as soon as needed.

a thud made you open your eyes again. a disbelieving laugh left your mouth as you noticed that blaise had sat up. the wound on his head bleeding, but he was alive.

again, your reaction triggered enzo and he turned around searching for the cause of the noise. his susprise was just as present as yours, ultimately being sure that he had killed his friend.

blaise’s survival was like newfound hope for your body, you pushed enzo back, changing sides, as he was now the one closest to the railing, or the nonexistent one to be more precise.

you reached for the piece of wood he had hit blaise with and quickly hit him in the stomach. enzo stumbled back and before he could dash forward, you hit him again.

you noticed the beam of wood on the floor between him and the railing too late. enzo stumbled back from the second hit, trying to find his balance, as the back of his feet hit the beam and gravity did the rest.

it was like he fell back in slow motion. your hands let go of the wood you had used to hit him as your ran forward, trying to hold onto his hand or any part of him. but it was too late.

you were sure you had fallen off the edge too, if blaise hadn’t pulled you back at just the right time.

“no!” you screamed as you realized what had just happened, you stared down onto enzo’s unmoving body on the ground beneath the tower for only a second, before blaise moved you back towards the stairs.

you both fell onto the floor, the shock draining you and making your bodies heavier than usual.

“i killed him, i killed him” you cried against blaise’s chest. blaise stared straight ahead, just as traumatized as you, before you could feel him shake his head.

“no, he fell” he corrected. “he fell, it wasn’t you”

“i’m sorry, i killed him”

“no, ace, you didn’t” he moved you back. “look at me. it’s important that you know you didn’t. he fell”

you nodded, tears falling off your face, because they were running down your cheeks so quickly.

“repeat it” blaise said. “you have to repeat it: he fell”

“he fell” you repeated, your voice only coming out as a whisper.

“again!”

“he fell” you said, less unsure, louder, clearer.

“there you go” blaise nodded, pressing your face against his chest to comfort you. “not your fault”

you continued to cry together for what felt like hours, but was only mere minutes. not one of you dared to move or look over the edge to find enzo’s body on the ground. your very short sight of his body and the blood on the snow had been enough to keep you from it.

heavy footsteps echoed through the tower and the next thing you saw, was theo make his way onto the platform, a worried expression on his face. “what happened?” he asked, while blaise helped you stand and you stumbled into theo’s direction.

blaise nodded as your searched for a confirmation.

you fell into theo’s arms, while blaise’s nod of permission wandered through your mind. you breathed, a sigh of relief and clear air wandering into your lungs for the first time in hours.

“he fell”

epilogue out soon...

🏷️ : @melsunshine @shereadsandcries @ch3rry-lips @the-sylver-dragon @mayamonroem @allurearia @prongsprincessworld @brokenpoetliz @winterbarnesblog @cowboy-luvr @ahead-fullofdreams @mietlynn @too-efn-old-to-be-here @insideoutjulie @dvartesgfs @chimchoom @eggsysstuff @uku-lelevillain @lexi2005 @folklcv4r @lovrsm @esmerai-artemis @lia-2008 @liataylorsversion @mysummerwinesblog @reverse-soe @thestrawberrythatgotaway @maxsisly

let me know if you want to be added/removed

ps: there will be one more chapter, the epilogue :)

80 notes · View notes

i-hate-accidents · 9 months ago

Text

i hate accidents: the between

femme!reader x benedict bridgerton, femme!reader & the bridgerton family, femme!reader & penelope featherington

summary: the adventures of a working class femme who befriends a fellow writer, a boisterous family, and a bewitching second eldest son

sections: I. the beginning / II. the between / III. the ball

y/n: bipoc, she/her, afab, nonbinary femme, queer, working class, of immigrant parents

content warnings: classism, mentions of financial survival, microaggressive sexism, microaggressive gender assumption, intersectional low self-image of y/n, positive/supportive families, retelling of recurrent microaggressive homophobic experience with y/n’s family member in [II.vi], short description of almost throwing up (not related to low self-image) in [II.vii]

word count: 9.1k (of 38.8k)

story context: everything in s1 and s2 of the tv series is canon for this story except for the s2 epilogue with the bridgertons. this story takes place leading up to and into the 1815 season.

additional notes: this story is incomplete. scenes that are not written are described in chevrons <> with third person pov or are delineated by isolated ellipses. additionally, the author has only watched s2! she has not watched any of s1 aside from clips, and they have not read the books aside from quotes used in edits. they have not yet watched queen charlotte. the author kinda knows the gist of an offer from a gentleman; they are familiar with sophie beckett (and are excited to meet her/them in the tv series!).

author’s note: this is the first time the author has written fanfic in 13-15 years. :) it is her hope that they have made some progress since her pre/teens. additionally, this fanfic has been written, on and off, over the course of two years. the author sincerely hopes you find some sort of joy in it, especially the readers who maybe hope to see themself a little more specifically in the world we so love.

tagged: @omgsuperstarg @bedobeeeee @stvrdustalexx @anisas-nonsense @crazymar15 and all who have liked the story so far: the author extends her gratitude for your engagement with the first section. <3

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ II.i ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

“have i told you that you are the best model who has ever sat for me?”

it has become a common occurrence. whenever you read while in the drawing room, benedict asks if you can be his model for his hand studies. you oblige, seeing how you are already so still while reading aside from the occasional page turn, and—more so—you want to support how benedict progresses in his craft. today, you and benedict are sat at a table as hyacinth plays a solitary game of cards on the floor and kathani and anthony sit at a couch with some delicious smelling tea. you had come over to meet eloise and penelope first thing but were soon informed that the two young ladies were still at the markets with colin. that made you smile; your loud friend is, no doubt, inserting herself emotionally and physically in between your two friends in love.

you feel yourself scrunch your eyebrows at benedict’s comment.

“surely you are exaggerating.”

“hyacinth was my last model; she was horrific.”

you hear an aghast gasp and do nothing to hide the amusement in your smile.

“it is difficult to sit still!” the youngest bridgerton yells.

“hyacinth, it is not becoming of a young lady to ye— ow!”

you see somewhat in your periphery how kathani puts the hand she used to thwack her husband’s arm back on her teacup handle, smiling. benedict, in the meantime, groans and seems to be focusing even more intently on his sketch as not to make eye contact with his youngest sister.

“yes, i understand it is difficult, but you did not sit still for even eight seconds.”

you have not shifted your position in the past half hour or so as not to ruin the angle of your hand for benedict; but you need not visual confirmation to already know that hyacinth has rolled her eyes in response to her brother and returned to her game.

“well, what about the art academy?” you continue. “there must have been very good models there for you to draw.”

and very beautiful ones, at that.

“it is true, there were; but,” you see him smile as he smudges his paper, “none are comparable to you.”

you feel your cheeks light aflame and, with a cough, focus even more intently on your passage.

“then i ought to give up on my profession as a basket weaver and put in my request as a model at the art academy.”

“you do realize that you would have to pose—” you see how he pauses his drawing, looking to see where the youngest is in the room, and lowers his voice as he leans forward towards you; (you attempt not to roll your eyes), ”—nude, in order to be a model there, y/n.”

“yes, and what issue is there with that?”

you look away from your passage to benedict to make a point with your stare and are startled to see how startled benedict looks, the familiar ocean of his eyes almost entirely gone and replaced by the black of his pupils.

“nothing. there is no issue. no issue at——” he coughs, scratching the back of his ear, no doubt smudging it with charcoal, “would you like to see my progress so far?”

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ II.ii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

< in the gardens of number five. penelope, eloise, hyacinth, and gregory are adventurers looking to save the princess benedict from the banshee y/n.

< hidden behind a hedge, y/n and benedict bicker. >

“you are a middle child on a technicality, benedict.”

“what is that supposed to mean?”

“you have seven siblings. anthony the eldest, hyacinth the youngest—and everyone in between simply a middle child? you all could not be more different from one another, and you are at the very top; you are practically an eldest child.”

“i’ll have you know that no one, myself included, sees me as such.”

“i’m familiar. an eldest sibling with a penchant for peculiar tea is not one i would describe with an overwhelming sense of duty.”

“how do you know of that?”

“kathani told me. she recounted to me her first dinner with the family and how transcendently in the most literal sense you had behaved.”

“so you two talk of me?”

you feel the tips of your ears heat, but fortunately your hair hides your embarrassment sufficiently. you roll your eyes.

“is that what you gleaned? do not think too deeply about it.”

“i shall think about it deeply and often,” he states with a twinkle in his eyes. in an attempt to ignore your fluster and flutterings, you roll your eyes again and shove him. he laughs, his nose scrunching and eyes crinkling adorably whenever he is truly delighted. despite your best efforts (you put in no effort), you smile at him. it cannot be helped when you are around benedict.

“now, make haste; hyacinth is about to cast a spell, and she needs a princess to save. may i grasp your arm?”

“grasp my what?”

“your arm! i need to pretend as if i am holding you captive, but i am not simply going to take hold of it without permission.”

“how chivalrous of you.”

“i suppose i’ve learned from a sufficient enough gentleman.”

benedict grins and offers his arm.

“i am yours for the taking.”

it is preposterous how much this man makes you want to roll your eyes. and how much you welcome it. in the moment, however, you refrain yourself and, instead, smile at him in return as you yank yourselves both out of the hedge to be seen by the others.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ II.iii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

< on a morning before she is off to number five, y/n realizes that her last remaining skirt still needs to be cleaned after she had spilt a bottle of ink on it. (she was devastated by losing so much writing material and money in one fell swoop.) she had been so preoccupied with work that she had forgotten to clean it.

< in a rush, she looks throughout her house for extra skirts but to no avail; the only thing she finds that she can wear is a pair of trousers from when her father was younger. she finds this suitable enough, puts them on, and runs off to bridgerton house.

< upon arriving at the drawing room wearing trousers, y/n hears a choking sound. she looks over and sees that benedict has somehow spilt tea all over himself. as the bridgerton family makes comments of curiosity and support of y/n’s current attire, benedict excuses himself, y/n hearing how he mumbles that he needs to change his clothes.

< after some time, benedict returns, but y/n notices that, aside from removing his coat, he still wears the clothes he was in. she remarks to herself: how can he have been gone for long enough but still be in the same clothes? >

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ II.iv ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

you gasp.

“wait!”

you do not wait to hear a response from your companions; you right about turn, swing open the door to number five, and run into the house, straight towards the drawing room.

“benedict!” you shout, “you must come see!”

“wha—“

you grab his hand, pulling him up from his slouched lounge.

“quickly! you must make haste!”

adrenaline and joy rushing in your veins, you lead benedict out of the drawing room and towards the entrance where, upon returning, you see giles, with a large beam on his face, holding open the door. you laugh, shooting him a quick nod and grin of your gratitude, and bring benedict outside, pass penelope and colin, pass the gates of bridgerton house, towards the road, and halt yourself and benedict in place.

you shoot your forefinger outward, pointing towards the sky, your grin ever growing.

“look!”

benedict has been looking at you incredulously, as if you’ve completely lost your mind, and perhaps you have, but you’d be damned if you got to see this and benedict hadn’t. he shifts his gaze and grin from you towards the sky, and as you had expected, as you had hoped, his expression transforms from gleeful confusion into complete awe.

“see? it is just like your palette of ideas! the oranges, the reds, the yellows, the purples, the pinks. here it all is, made by mother nature herself, and you have already managed to capture the hues in the pigments of your paints!” laughter bubbles out of you. “it is amazing! you are amazing!”

you hear a soft buzz in your ear, causing you to turn towards the familiar sound. a bumblebee swirls about your head, and it makes you giggle. you always had a fondness for the sweet creatures; how wonderous one has come to greet you at such a moment! the bee lands on your nose, as if to give you a kiss, causing you to giggle even more, before it departs and flies off into the sky.

as you stare at your departing friend, as you stare into the sorcerous colors of the sunset, as your smile feels permanent in this moment, you ask benedict,

“isn’t it beautiful?”

“yes.”

you turn to benedict, expecting to see his side profile tilted towards the sky when, instead, you connect with his ocean eyes. gazing at you.

your smile fades away as you quietly suck in air through your nose. you feel a soft caress at your hand, and looking down, you see that you are still holding hands with benedict, him gently rubbing the side of your hand with his thumb. you look back up, and with indecipherable ocean eyes and a soft smile on his lips, he still gazes at you. butterflies flutter maddeningly within you. the way he looks at you, it makes you feel scared. but you’d be damned if you allowed your fear to tear yourself away from benedict. so, instead, you smile back and gently rub the side of his hand with your thumb too.

“well!”

you and benedict reel back from one another, letting go of one another’s hands. as you feel the loss of his touch, you whip your head towards the voice and see a smirking colin, by the side of a smiling penelope, both approaching the two of you.

“while i hate to get in the way of two— friends in the midst of a conversation, i must fulfill my duties and escort miss featherington to her home.”

you roll your eyes as you promptly ignore the fire that burns on your cheeks.

“you rich people and your escortings. penelope lives across the way! she would have already been home if you would have let her, colin.”

“yes, that is true,” pipes up penelope, “but then i would have missed out on such a beautiful sight,” and instead of gesturing at the sunset as her words imply, she keeps her eyes locked on you and benedict.

menaces. i am friends with menaces.

with smugness in their smiles and delight in their eyes, penelope and colin nod their heads in farewell. as they move past, you feel a soft squeeze on the side of your arm and see penelope giving you a wink. you stare off at the couple, penelope featherington and colin bridgerton, your absolute menaces of friends who have left you and benedict stunned in spot.

benedict.

benedict!

you turn your head to face him. he must have realized at the same moment as you, for you are greeted by an equally speechless expression. feeling yourself staring into his ocean eyes a moment too long, you cough and look away.

“right, i suppose— i, going— i should be going.”

“of course— yes, that is— right, yes, very good—— not! you going! you going is not— not good! i— we— are more than glad to let you stay!— not let you, but! but have you stay with—— us! stay with us!—”

“benedict,” feeling the instinct to touch his hand again, you hesitate and, instead, touch the side of his arm. you offer him a smile to his (adorably) flustered state. “i understand what you are trying to convey.”

he huffs out a breath and smiles warily in return, and it is truly absurd how beautiful he is when his suave falls away. when he takes off the façade he performs to the world and is just himself. not a bridgerton, not a second eldest son, not a gentleman. just—

benedict.

the one you—— care for.

the one you care for.

the one i care for.

“thank you, y/n,” you hear him say, “for sharing this with me.”

“of course. you were first to come to mind when i saw it.”

“shall i— shall i escort you home?”

you snort, inadvertently breaking whatever odd energy has grown between the two of you, and he grins in response.

“goodness, no. i am fully capable of walking there myself. besides, it is too far from here, unlike miss featherington,” you intonate the last of your words with mockery. you will battle colin bridgerton one day.

“i enjoy a long walk. and with such a beautiful sight, it would be much more a blessing than a burden.”

“daylight is fastly fading; the sunset will not last another eight minutes.”

“yes, the sunset. because that is what i was referring to,” he says as he stares at you with a lopsided grin.

rolling your eyes, and feeling the violent flutterings in your stomach, you shove benedict by his shoulder, which causes him to laugh and throw his hand up in mock surrender.

“good evening, benedict,” you finalize as you walk away, a smile quickly forming on your lips once out of his sight.

“good evening, y/n,” and you hear the smile in his voice.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ II.v ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

“it is here!”

you had just begun to cross your writing when you look up and see kathani enter the drawing room, paper in hand.

“what’s here?” you inquire. the viscountess smiles.

“perhaps you should be the first to see,” and she hands you the sheet.

taking it into your hands, you are immediately struck by the ornate illustrations of flowers and foliage ornamenting the borders—they are printed on! rather than hand drawn. you run your fingers against the paper to test your observation. you’ve only seen such a feat in the books you’ve borrowed from the bridgertons, so it impresses you (though perhaps it shouldn’t surprise me, you remark to yourself) that kathani has found a press to accomplish this feat for her printing.

you then take in the lettering and read,

a ball in titania’s garden court

“come, now a roundel and a fairy song.”

the company of

is requested at bridgerton house, number 5 in grosvenor square, on thursday evening, jul. 6, 1815 at 9 o’clock p. m.

“you helped inspire the theme,” kathani remarks. you look up from the paper to her; her eyes are intently on you.

“me? how so?”

“with our reading of his work, and our conversations with eloise and penelope, he was naturally on my mind when planning for the ball.”

you beam.

“how wondrous! your first ball in the city, and you are bringing the fairies to it,” you turn to the others. “you must tell me how it goes! i’d be delighted to hear what the dresses were like, with the theme and all, and if any larks ensued.”

you note to yourself how penelope will likely know of all of the latter far better than any of the bridgertons, but it would be intriguing, nevertheless, to hear their perspectives. you turn to the viscountess once more, “it is a brilliant idea, kathani. i’m honored to have had some part in it.”

you see her open her mouth in response—

“oh good!”

—when you hear anthony’s voice at the entrance of the drawing room.

“you’ve accepted! that is wonderful news.”

you furrow your eyebrows as he approaches.

“accepted?”

“the invitation. to the ball.”

“what?”

anthony looks around the room to his family and then back to you.

“i— am beginning to think that is not what you were responding to.”

“how quick of you, brother,” deadpans colin.

“i have just entered!”

“and have proceeded to make a fool of yourself,” eloise counters.

“it’s appropriate for the theme, really,” colin turns to kathani. “sister, perhaps you might change the dress to costumes? anthony would make an excellent bottom to your titania.”

“i am—” you start, “still lost.”

kathani gently nods her head to the paper in your hand. you look down again. previously neglecting it for the printed words and illustrations, you now read what is clearly in the viscountess’s handwriting between ‘the company of’ and ‘is requested’:

miss y/n y/l/n.

“this is an invitation. for me.”

you look up from the invitation and are greeted by kathani, and the rest of the bridgerton family at number five, expectantly staring at you.

“but—— but—”

“now, i understand that this might be quite overwhelming,” begins kathani, “but after speaking with the family, we all agreed that it would be most wondrous if you were to attend the ball. we would make certain that you felt prepared, beforehand, with lessons in dance and etiquette, hence why i’ve prepared the invitations earlier than customary.”

“not! to assume that you are not already competent in these,” adds colin. “you certainly have more grace than eloise— ow!” and he rubs the part of his arm eloise just smacked.

“but if it would appease your mind,” violet interjects, “and help with your concurrence, then we would be more than elated to offer them, and to do them with you.”

“your attire would be paid for,” anthony states simply, “and we would pay the business of your employment their missed earnings for the days in which you will be preparing for the ball and resting from the event’s happenings. and, if you shall allow it, we would support you and your family from your abstained days of wages.”

“balls are dreadful,” asserts eloise, “but!” she continues swiftly, and exasperatedly, upon seeing her family’s reaction, “with your presence, this one would certainly be more bearable. pleasant!, even.”

“we,” hyacinth gestures to herself and gregory, “cannot attend the ball, but we will help you in any way we can before then!”

“and we will be there on the morning and afternoon of, if you would like!” gregory exclaims.

kathani was wrong.

this is not quite overwhelming. this is overwhelmingly overwhelming.

you do not even know where to begin in processing all of the information with which you have just been bombarded. the wages, the etiquette, the paying, the attire, the dancing, the days off, the ball itself.

but what strikes you most of all—

“you all… agreed? of wanting me at the ball?”

you look around the drawing room. your friends’ countenances are illuminated with beams. all, but one. you turn to him. he was the only one not to have stated his case in the family’s proposal.

before you can start to ruminate on the implications of such, he offers you a smile. small, but enough for those stupid, stupefying butterflies to flutter within.

“we did,” benedict says. “we do.”

you exhale.

“then,” though weary from the turn of this day, you offer a small smile in return, to benedict, to the family, “then yes. i shall go to the ball.”

hyacinth and gregory nearly knock you over in the chair you’re sat in by the sheer power of their hugs. violet, clapping her hands, laughs with delight at the sight. eloise exclaims something about penelope finding out. anthony states he shall begin the ledger. colin, for whatever reason, starts talking about the cakes that will be there. kathani remarks that there is much to do and that she, and all of the family, will be there every step of the way.

and benedict smiles. still small. still enough. with those damned ocean eyes.

i shall never understand the absurdity that is this family.

and how delighted you are by that. how grateful you are for them.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ II.vi ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

“your rehearsal partners will be myself and gregory,” states the viscount.

you try to withhold your sigh. you have been dreading this day since kathani first told you of it. you are utterly delighted to be a student under the tutelage of the viscountess; you are utterly petrified of being a dance student.

“and why do benedict and i not have the privilege to dance with y/n?”

it also does not quell your petrification that the entirety of number five has decided to be present for your lessons.

“because, colin, you two are unmarried men; i am a married one; and gregory is a child.”

“i have just entered my adolescent years!”

“precisely,” anthony grins, “a child.”

“kathani and hyacinth can be potential partners,” you suggest, diverging as not to join hyacinth in her laughter at gregory’s disgruntlement. despite the anxiety that somehow both swells and knots within you, you are resolute on being intentional and present during your lessons. “the former is married, and the latter is a child.”

anthony opens his mouth to respond but suddenly closes it shut. he blinks.

“why have you not considered eloise?”

“because she is unmarried. i am assuming that you do not want me to partner with colin or benedict, for fear of some sort of— romantic attraction forming. so i’ve applied the same logic to eloise.”

there is a small silence. you can see how anthony (and perhaps the rest of the room, you sense) is busily processing within his mind (and theirs) what you have said to him.

kathani pats her husband twice on his back and smiles at you.

“that is an excellent idea, y/n. we will rotate your partners amongst myself, anthony, gregory, and hyacinth. let us begin.”

and so you do, and it is quite horrendous. or rather, you are quite horrendous.

kathani is, unsurprisingly, a marvelous teacher, but not even she as a guide can prevent you from stepping on her, anthony’s, hyacinth’s, and gregory’s feet. you apologize profusely each time you do so, and so you apologize frequently and often, but each of your partners still smile at you without a drop of deceit or regret in their expressions despite their winces. they encourage you in all their particular ways. kathani gently knocks the foot you stepped on her to where it ought to be placed. anthony pacifies that you are doing well. hyacinth recounts how she had struggled as you when she first began her lessons. gregory assures that you are not nearly as heavy-footed as eloise.

even those who aren’t your partners encourage you. eloise confirms gregory’s statement, not once peeking into the book she holds in her hands. colin claps his hands to help you keep the tempo of the steps. violet, at the pianoforte, enthuses how much progress you are making with each passing dance. penelope, who joined the drawing room part way through a rather disastrous cotillion with anthony, begins to clap her hands excitedly upon seeing you.

the only bridgeton you haven’t heard from the entirety of your lessons is benedict. while rehearsing a sequence in a quadrille with hyacinth, you notice the vacant spot next to eloise where he once sat. you try to feign to yourself that your following misstep is due to your ineptitude in rhythm and nothing else. certainly not the lack of presence of a particular someone.

after you curtsy and kathani bows upon finishing a scotch reel, she beams at you.

“i believe that is enough lessons for today.”

you sigh with every bit of your lungs, your attempt at perfectly squared shoulders immediately slumping in relief. the family chortles in response and gives you a pleasant round of applause. you feel your cheeks go flush with embarrassment, completely unbelieving that your horrific display of dancing deserves any sort of praise, but the sentiment warms your heart.

“i would like to pardon myself, if that is all right,” you request towards kathani, “for a moment, is all.”

“yes, of course,” and she takes your hand. “and we do mean it, y/n. you have done well today. you should be proud.”

before you can respond to her, she gives a gentle squeeze of your hand and turns to walk towards anthony. blinking, you shake your head out of your thoughts. the bridgertons and penelope seem to respect your want of excusing yourself as they grin or nod their heads in your direction but make no move towards you. you take a moment more to look at the family and then turn to leave the drawing room. you cannot help the smile that blooms on your face as you cross the entrance—

when a hand catches your wrist and pulls you further away from the drawing room. you are about to scream when you see benedict, with furrowed eyebrows and pleading ocean eyes, swiftly put his forefinger to his pursed lips.

“fuckin’— benedict!” you whisper-yell, attempting to honor benedict’s unspoken request for your silence. “are you mad? and why are you out here? have you been here this entire time?”

“may i speak with you? in private?”

the urgency in his whisper stupefies you, any frustration felt within fading away.

“of course you may.”

he slides his hand down from your wrist to take your hand—

“follow me.”

—and, with haste, leads you down the corridor and up a set of stairs.

“are you certain this is all right? the last time we had spoken alone together, you were scolded by your brother.”

“i am more than willing to take that risk with you,” benedict says sincerely, with a smile, but it is strained. it is a subtlety, but with knowing him for as long as you have now, it is something you have noticed in his expressions.

“are you all right, benedict?”

he promptly ignores your question. it is unlike benedict, to ignore one of your inquiries. to retort with a snarky quip, yes; to make a particularly theatrical countenance, yes; to respond with uncertainty, yes. but never outright, deliberate evasion. it makes your heart swell even more with worry.

you and benedict arrive at a set of grand doors. turning the gilded knob, he opens the door and, in true gentlemanly fashion, holds it for you to pass. such etiquette would have caused you to roll your eyes, but with benedict’s current distress, you will yourself to refrain.

just as you enter the room, benedict enters too, turns around, and carefully closes the door shut. he reaches into his pocket and, after some shuffling about, retrieves a key. you hear a click of the door, and before you can comment on the absolute peculiarity of this situation thus far, benedict whips himself around and faces you.

“do you have attraction to both sexes?”

“i— what?”

“do you have attraction to both sexes?” he repeats with impatience.

“to all persons,” you correct with equal impatience. “and yes, i do.”

benedict blinks at your response but shakes his head out of his thoughts.

“and how long, how long have you known? of your attractions?”

“‘of my attractions’?”

“i am asking a question, y/n!”

“you are being strange, benedict!”

“i am!—” and he turns away from you, running his hands through his hair, sucking in air through his nostrils. he turns back to you and it startles you—how frustrated his countenance is, and how vulnerable his ocean eyes are.

“i am merely trying to ask a question. i am trying to understand. please, y/n,” benedict begs. “please.”

“i— all right,” you try to soothe. “i, i don’t know how long i have known. i suppose, since i was a child? or, perhaps, truly in my adolescent years, when i found myself gazing at those with names like emily and andrew and how i—” you swallow, suddenly feeling exposed, “how i held my breath around them, whenever they were close, when— whenever they were near.”

“and do you still feel that way?”

“pardon?”

“do you still feel that way? around people? for people?”

just for the one.

“i, i do.”

after staring at you a moment more, benedict turns away again, and you quickly exhale a breath—when you’re stricken with a sudden fear.

“does this change your opinion of me?”

benedict turns back to you, frustration still in his features but confusion slowly seeping into them.

“when i—” am i crying? “when i told my sister how i felt for a girl in our neighborhood, she did not—” you try to shake your head of the fog that starts to fill your mind at remembering, “did not look at me for weeks, and when she did, i felt like, like—— like a monster.”

his face falls.

“no,” benedict states, fastly approaching you, “no, no, no, y/n.”

“i am sorry,” you choke out as he places his hands on the sides of your arms.

“why are you apologizing?” benedict whispers, applying pressure to where he holds you steady. you had not realized you’ve been shaking.

“you had asked me questions, these questions of importance to you, and i— i have made it about myself— i am so sorry, benedict.”

“you have nothing to apologize for.”

you shut your eyes close, feeling your face contort in the way it does when everything simply becomes too much for you to bear.

“you were, and are, so much more courageous than me.”

benedict’s gentle voice and strange statement rouse you to open your eyes.

“i do not understand?”

“you have told another person about your attractions to both— to all persons. i…”

he goes quiet, unable to finish his thought aloud. you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, but staring into his ocean eyes a moment more—vulnerable, scared, hurting—it dawns on you.

oh.

benedict.

your heart blooms as you shake your head.

“it is not about courage, benedict, i do not think. with my sister, it was about trust. i thought i could trust her with my feelings, with— well, with me. and she had proved me wrong.”

“and you have proved me right.”

“why are you speaking so vaguely today?” you manage to jest.

benedict rolls his eyes, a small smile resting on his lips.

“and you have proved me right in that i could trust you. and i do, y/n. i trust you with— with me.”

perhaps you should have thought better of it, but your emotions move faster than your logic, and your emotions call you to reach out your hand and cup benedict’s cheek as you see tears line his ocean eyes.

“as i trust you with me.”

you do not mean to do it; perhaps it’s the intimacy of your conversation, perhaps it’s the proximity of standing so close, perhaps it’s the way you can feel his bated breath mix with yours, but your eyes flicker down at benedict’s parted lips and, swallowing, you look back into his piercing, indecipherable ocean eyes and breathe,

“benedict—”

when a loud sequence of knocks thud at the locked door.

“oh god!” and you take off, running away from benedict and looking about the room when your eyes fall upon a wardrobe.

“what are you doing!” benedict whisper-shouts at you as you hasten towards your destination.

“i am trying to prevent you from being in trouble again with a certain eldest brother, and you ought to be doing the same!”

you open the door to the wardrobe, hop into it, and, grabbing the door’s edge, look at benedict and the adorable shock on his face.

“answer the door as i hide in here!” before he can babble out a response, you whisper-yell, “go!” and promptly, quietly, shut the wardrobe.

before long, you muffedly hear the clicking of the door and it being opened. there is a bit of quiet until gregory’s voice asks—

“what happened to your hair?”

“what of it?”

“it is a mess. it has not been that messy since—”

“nevermind my hair! what is it that you need?”

“have you seen y/n?”

“what? why would i know of y/n’s whereabouts?”

“do not play foolish, brother.”

“i am not playing foolish!”

“you two are always together! you and y/n are like eloise and penelope, anthony and kate, colin and food— you never see one without the other, and she hasn’t been seen since her lessons.”

“i have not seen her; does that answer your inquiry?”

“why are you so on guard!�� ugh, never you mind. hyacinth and i will look for her on our own, with no thanks to you.”

before benedict can retort, you hear footsteps walking away from him and down the corridor. there is another moment of quiet before you hear the shutting of the door and the turning of the key. you slowly open the wardrobe, and when you see a disgruntled benedict and benedict only, you hop out and walk towards him, unable to contain the growing smile on your face.

“you shouldn’t be so harsh on gregory. he was, after all, merely asking a question.”

“you’re taking his side?”

“of course i am. he, along with hyacinth, are my favorite bridgertons.”

“and where do i fall on this list of yours?”

“eighth,” you reply easily, and benedict’s jaw drops, “but that’s merely on a technicality— i have yet to met daphne and francesca.”

“what have i done to be thought of so little in your regard!” benedict’s expression is aghast, but you see the ghost of a smile on his lips (that you certainly do not stare at for another moment too long).

“do not mistake your low ranking in how i care for you,” you tease but then soften, unable to keep up the lark over your truth. “i care for you, benedict. for all of you. precisely as you are and what you feel and who you—” you swallow, “whoever you love.”

the jest and play fade away from his expression. benedict simply stares at you, ocean eyes once again indecipherable. before he can say anything, you step into his space and tidy his hair.

“you ruined your coif earlier,” you whisper.

“what fortune i have for someone to care for me so.”

his smile is so sweet, his voice so sincere, his ocean eyes so gentle. it is too much, it is so much.

“if you weren’t such a mischief maker,” you diverge, “you wouldn’t need such fortune.”

that makes him scoff, and you grin, quietly glad a new emotion begins to overtake your overwhelming one.

“wise words coming from a mischief maker herself.”

“a mischief maker who knows how to handle her trouble,” you respond pointedly. “speaking of which, i must be going,” and you turn from benedict and head towards the windows.

“and where are you going?” you hear the befuddled amusement in his inquiry as he follows you. you unlatch a window.

“i must leave by way of window and make it appear as if i have been out in the gardens this entire time,” you carefully open the window and peer outside. no one in sight. pleased, you turn around and are greeted by an adorably perplexed benedict. “how else will we deceive the family into believing that we were not alone together? particularly after gregory inquired after me and found you here. it would not help our situation if we left the same room, even if at staggered times.”

“this is not the first time you have escaped home,” he declares matter-of-factly.

“of course it’s not.”

“yet another thing we have in common.”

you snort but then cover your mouth. you turn around and peer out the window, hoping, willing that no one has heard you. no one in sight still. you sigh in relief and turn back to a grinning benedict.

“you are compromising my meticulous plans.”

“then you ought to be going. i shan’t compromise you any further.”

you roll your eyes deeply, ignoring the double entendre (and the flush you feel creeping across your face), but soften.

“will you be all right? are you all right?”

benedict inhales deeply and exhales equally so.

“i—— have much to think over. of myself. to myself. but, it is a comfort to know that i am not alone in this. in this experience, the feelings themselves, as well as in the navigation of them,” the corners of benedict’s mouth tug into a gentle but most radiant smile, his ocean eyes incandescent with joy. “thank you, y/n.”

the butterflies flutter violently within.

“i, i have done nothing.”

“you have done more than you know.”

unable to withstand the intensity of his gaze, you turn back to the open window and steady your hands onto the sides of the frame, leveraging your weight against the ledge to lift yourself up.

“be that as it may,” you assert perhaps too forcefully, “i truly must be going now.”

you carefully but easily shift your body over the ledge and place your boot against the exterior side of bridgerton house to start your descent. you should just go—leave and neglect the violence of feelings within you. but you do not. instead, you look up and are greeted by the sight of benedict at the window, hands also steadied on the ledge, body leaning towards the outside and downwards, beaming at you, the afternoon sun casting light upon his now even more beautiful countenance.

shit.

you will yourself to focus.

“if you need or wish to speak again on this, you will let me know, yes?”

he still smiles but you see the subtlety of his ocean eyes transforming, from delight to… something else. you don’t know what, benedict’s ocean eyes ever indecipherable in moments such as this, and it does nothing to quiet the flutterings within.

“i shall. and hopefully in a manner that does not require your escape.”

“oh, this is nothing.”

“of course it’s not.”

you smile broadly, a particular burst of fondness and play and courage overcoming you—

“farewell, princess.”

and you begin your descent down bridgerton house.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ II.vii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

< kathani and y/n make a day of getting y/n a dress for the bridgerton ball. they meet first at bridgerton house early in the morning, before the rest of the family is awake. they break fast together, and kathani teaches y/n how to make masala chai. y/n remarks that how kathani speaks of indian drink and food reminds y/n of how her parents talk about their drink and food from their home country.

< the conversation then grows into talking about how much the ocean intrigues y/n because of how her parents have talked about it, especially in their stories of emigrating to england by ship. the mystery, beauty, comfort, fear, and joy of the ocean all in one entity.

< the conversation then shifts to kathani and y/n talking about the scrappiness of making do with what resources you have access to. it makes y/n recount a memory with her mama when she had offered to give up buying ink, quills, and paper to support the family once her elder sister had married and left their family home. >

“it is a hobby, mama, it—”

“it is important, she says pointedly. “it is your passion.” and she smiles. “we have managed once with just my and papa’s wages, we shall manage now. you need not worry, my child.”

< eventually, kathani and y/n finish their breakfast. they leave bridgerton house and hop into a bridgerton carriage to go to the modiste. it is the first time y/n is in a carriage and it is a surreal, lovely experience. it feels like a fairytale. >

–

< after arrival at the modiste and introductions, kathani decides to roam the markets of the neighborhood as madame delacroix tends to y/n in the back of the shop. >

“madame delacroix—”

“clients call me madame delacroix,” she interrupts. you feel shame flood your body. of course. you are not a client. you are a charity case. at the whims of this wealthy family that has bestowed their pity on you. how else would you be in such a position, in such a shop, before such a talented artist revered by the upper echelons of london. you’re a fool, you wish to run away, you must go when you hear what madame delacroix says next—and she’s smiling.

“friends, however, call me genevieve,” she remarks with a wink.

…

“now, y/n, how would you feel about me being,” genevieve flourishes her hand in the air, “experimental with your dress?”

a combination of fear and excitement perk up within you.

“how do you mean?”

“the ton are quite—” she seems to fight hard not to roll her eyes but admits defeat to a sigh, “—conservative in their fashion—”

“you mean dreadfully dull?” you chime in. genevieve laughs warmly.

“exactly, my dear,” she grins. “you, however, are anything but. i see the french silhouettes more fitting to your character, to your personality, to your spark.”

you feel overwhelmed by the kindness of words that flow easily from the mouth of your new friend. you have not known each other for more than ten minutes, and she seems to see something within you. it makes you feel self-conscious, undeserving, and incredibly proud.

“i would be honored to be graced with the true magnificence of your artistry, genevieve.”

your friend’s eyes shine with joy, and you cannot help but feel utterly delighted that you were the one to ignite such happiness within her.

“my dear, the ton will be green with envy at the sight of you. with your natural beauty and with my vision, you shall be an unstoppable force.”

you furrow your eyebrows at “natural beauty.” you open your mouth to comment—

“is there any person you are looking to,” she hums, looking for the right word while looking for her measuring tape, “impress?”

“no,” you lie. “i would not know anyone aside from the bridgertons and penelope.”

“ah, yes. miss penelope,” the modiste says with much fondness in her heart. “she is quite brilliant, is she not?”

you beam. “she truly is.”

“though,” genevieve ponders, wrapping the tape around your waist, “she is rather besotted with the third eldest bridgerton.”

“oh, yes, it is very appar— wait. why do you say that?”

genevieve shrugs, but you give it more thought.

“are you implying that i have affections for penelope?”

you love penelope. she has come to be one of your closest friends, and my god she is beautiful inside and out—but you have never felt an inkling for her beyond platonic love.

“i imply nothing—i’ve just said she’s besotted with the third eldest, did i not?” genevieve plays coy with a smile. “and the viscount, he is very in love with the viscountess.”

“are you now implying that i have affections for anthony?”

you feel your entire body shudder. the idea of having any sort of love for the eldest bridgerton beyond one that is platonic makes you want to— the very thought—

you put one hand to your mouth and the other to your stomach. genevieve laughs, delighted by this game she’s inflicting upon you and entirely unperturbed by your potential sick in her shop.

“so,” she continues on, “with mister colin and lady kate and their beaus eliminated, unless you are of the temptress kind—”

“no!”

“then,” laughs genevieve, “that leaves three—”

“what do you mean ‘three’!”

“y/n, please, you are a terrible liar. you have affections for one of your friends, that is clear.”

“i do not!” you lie again. she tilts her chin down, looking at you pointedly.

“as i was saying, that leaves three. there is miss francesca, miss eloise, and mister benedict.”

you feel yourself take in a small breath through your nostrils as you hear his name, and you pray that genevieve does not notice.

“aha!” she declares. your prayer has failed. there is no god. “ah, yes, mister benedict bridgerton. the second eldest.”

you hold back a groan, not wanting to give your friend evidence to her (very much correct) claim, so instead you lift your head towards the ceiling. when you snap it back down to look at her, you are startled by how her delighted expression from a mere moment ago has molded into an expression you cannot figure out.

“y/n, you must know,” she states, with so much sincerity in her tone. you are entirely confused by this shift in genevieve, and your confusion only intensifies when she gently takes your hand into both of hers.

“benedict and i... we had been acquainted— intimately, at one point.”

oh.

“oh,” you respond pathetically.

the words should not affect you. they should not affect you. they should— not— affect you.

but—

you huff out a laugh.

“genevieve, why are you sharing this? it’s all ri—”

“i share this with you,” she replies in earnest, “because while intimate, and yes, even passionate—” you try not to wince, “—it was brief and, most of all, not of depth,” she sighs. “but i can only speak for myself, can i?”

you swallow, hoping it will cure your dry throat, and with a smile say, “he is very lucky to have won your affections.”

“my dear.”

genevieve removes one of her hands from yours and brings it to the side of your face, softly wiping away a tear on your cheek. you hadn’t noticed you had started crying. you close your eyes, weak by and ashamed at the frailty of your heart, as you lean into the comfort of your friend’s hand.

after a few moments, you feel her hand leave your cheek and feel your chin held between her thumb and forefinger, lifting up your head. you open your eyes.

“anything i felt for him, i feel for him no more, y/n. he is lucky to have your affections,” genevieve declares. “and if benedict is an intelligent man, he must feel the same for you.”

you laugh.

“benedict is a beautiful person who attracts beautiful people. i am not a beautiful person.”

it is peculiar, how genevieve’s eyes flood with hurt as if you have offended her. what did you say that has hurt her so? you were only speaking of yourself. before you can think further on it, the modiste steels her expression, fire suddenly blazing her eyes.

“well! then i must prove to you what you fail to see, my dear! i dare you not to feel beautiful in the dress i make for you. and if you doubt your beauty,” she peers at you, “will you doubt my artistry?”

you laugh, this time sincerely, radiating gratitude for your new friend.

“it would be foolish to doubt your artistry.”

genevieve beams.

“exactly.”

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ II.viii ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

you kick your feet off again, swinging yourself back and surging forward as you look up at the stars. you try not to make too much noise. you know it’s not proper to ambledly hang about your host’s back garden at night as they all slumber. you feel as though you are taking advantage of the bridgertons’ kindness in allowing a pauper like you to stay the night at their home, in allowing you any time to stay at their home since making their acquaintance, in allowing—— you sigh again. you could not sleep. restlessness has entirely consumed you, and you had decided that some fresh air and some childlike fun would be exactly what you needed to calm your nerves. while the cool air and the beauty of the night have been a welcomed reprieve, your heart still pounds and your mind still races with anxiety over the ball tomorrow night.

“couldn’t sleep?”

you slam the heels of your boots into the ground as you hear the familiar voice, doing everything in your power to ignore the flutters of butterflies in your stomach upon hearing it, and fall over onto your knees, planting your hands into the dirt so as not to completely and embarrassingly plant your face there instead. you hear the body of the voice rushing towards you, offering his hand in your periphery. you look up as benedict’s soft ocean eyes stare into you. feeling your cheeks flood with warmth, you take your dirtied palm into his, promptly ignore the lightning that shoots out from the touch to the rest of your body, and lift yourself up with benedict’s gentlemanly assistance. you murmur your thanks as you dust off, in vain, the dirt on your nightdress.

“i did not mean to startle you.”

“well, you have very clearly failed at that,” you remark.

after one last whoosh about your knees to clear off the excess dirt, you look up at benedict and are startled by the utter sincerity of his concerned look. he looks as if he is about to say something, as if he is about to apologize, when you offer him a smile.

“i’m teasing you, benedict.”

he blinks once before breaking out into a smile, a smile that forcefully summons the butterflies within you to flutter about once again, and laughs. you cannot help but smile and laugh with him.

“may i have the honor of sitting with you, miss y/l/n?”

you roll your eyes.

“it is your home after all, you need not my permission.”

“am i to ignore the privacy a lady wishes to have?”

“a lady’s privacy, i am sure, is something you wish to have for yourself,” you retort, alluding to your lack of such a title.

he swallows.

“that is something i cannot deny.”

something shifts in the air as benedict stares at you. you feel yourself holding your breath and, in an attempt to shift away the energy from whatever this— this is (and how much it thrills and terrifies you), you playfully curtsy as you gesture to the swing next to the one that you had occupied.

“i would be delighted by your company, mr. bridgerton.”

the overwhelming gentleness of benedict’s expression transforms into an amused smile, and he follows along with an exaggerated bow of his head. you take a seat at your swing as he takes his seat at the other on your left.

“i couldn’t,” you say in reply to his first question. before he can ask why, you hastily jump into your inquiry. “and why are you up?”

“i was sketching. i had an idea for a painting and wished to lay out the preliminary work before it escaped me,” he sighs heavily, turning to look out to the rest of the garden. you feel the loss of his gaze. “i was frustrated with the results and thought some fresh air would do me some good.”

“what is the idea for your painting?”

he hesitates.

“a portrait,” he seems to admit carefully. feeling how benedict wishes not to be pressed further, you simply hum an affirmation in response.

“i am certain that your sketch is not nearly as horrendous as you think it is.”

“i appreciate your kindness, but it entirely lacked their spark.”

“you seem quite fond of this person,” you huff with a bit of a laugh, jealousy starting to pool in the pit of your stomach.

benedict smiles.

“i am.”

and he turns to look at you.

you swallow, averting your gaze from soft intense ocean eyes, and kick your feet off the ground to begin a gentle swing.

“you should continue with the portrait,” you rattle on in a hasty attempt at diversion. “not only are you blessed with natural talent but you are also fueled with such a passionate determination to ever improve your skill because that is how much you love your craft. an undying devotion to something for which you so deeply care. it is admirable and extremely apparent in all that you do.”

“and what of you?”

“and what of me?”

“of your passions?”

you scoff.

“my passions?”

“your writing.”

you halt your swing and whip your head to benedict. he is grinning with stupid satisfaction, and you would find a way to wipe it off his stupid (beautiful) face if you were not so aghast by the situation.

“how do you know of that?”

“well, whenever you are not reading or conversing with eloise, penelope, and kate; or playing make-believe with my youngest siblings; or squabbling with colin and anthony, you are busily writing in a folded quarto. or, rather, crossing in a folded quarto. crossing twice, if you can manage. you are quite the prolific writer.”

you gape at him, and he continues to grin.

“eloise also told me.”

“she told you!” you shriek.

“indeed. it is, after all, how you met penelope, apparently. and penelope is how you met eloise. and eloise is how we— how you met the rest of us.”

you slump in your swing.

“i feel betrayed.”

benedict laughs heartily, and you shoot him a glare. he holds his hands up in mock surrender.

“she was merely sharing a fact.”

“she is merely a traitor.”

benedict laughs once again, and you summon all the strength within you not to choke it out from his lungs.

“you seem not to handle perception of yourself very well, y/n.”

“when you are me, it is easy not to be perceived,” you mumble, still reeling from the traitorous nature of your loudmouthed friend.

there is a small silence.

“i do not think that is true.”

you turn to him, once again surprised by the gentleness of his sincerity.

“i see you,” benedict declares in a quiet but steadfast voice. his ocean eyes, indecipherable once more, gaze into you.

you feel yourself hold your breath, unable to stop the truth from ringing out in your heart, mind, body, and soul.

i love you.

you shoot up from your swing.

“i must be going, it is quite late—”

“y/n, wait—”

“thank you, benedict,” you say sincerely, turning to him. “i— i really enjoyed our conversation, as brief as it was.”

he blinks and offers you a small smile. i must control myself, you reprimand as you feel the butterflies viciously flutter within.

“as did i.”

“good night,” you whisper. with all the self-control you can muster, you turn away from benedict and hasten towards bridgerton house.

“good night, y/n,” you vaguely hear him say from the swings that brought you together. you attempt to tune out the wistfulness that you hear, that you imagine you hear in his voice.

238 notes · View notes

icarusignite · 5 months ago

Text

An Eye for an Eye Masterlist

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Fem! Velaryon!OC

Summary:

Lucerys Velaryon was a coward who did not wish to die, but die he did, with all the bravery his young heart could muster.

A true dragon rider's death.

With his death, the war of ravens and envoys came to an end, and the war of fire and blood began in earnest.

Daenys Velaryon no longer knew the difference between sacrifice and self-slaughter, nor where the violence against oneself ended. A Kinslayer, a rabid dog; such creatures had no use in a world of peace. Such creatures did not deserve peace. She was a tall child with no lap to crawl into, for who would wish to hold a thing like her, shame clotting in her blood like a curdling sickness. She, with the incessant need to apologize to everyone who ever knew her, for the inconvenience she caused them by making her existence known, walking into a room and searching for an empty seat so no one had to go through the painful act of sitting with her. Velaryons were supposed to be of the sea, but she was a burning ship, a vicinity one had to always flee. If anyone deserved to extinguish themselves in a kamikaze blaze, it was her, the one who would be missed least of all, who was needed least of all when the realm finally knew peace.

Aemond Targaryen was not the same person he used to be. He couldn't possibly be, and yet a part of his very being still belonged to his wife, as it always would. Though he had been absent too long, and the graveyard of old bones and lost kin that spanned between them was far too vast, he still held onto the memory of her, cutting into what he meant to only hold. He was a hunter whose trap had mangled the wrong creature, but it was the law of the world, for a knife and a wound to seek each other out, because they spoke in a language of damage no one else did, and now he owed her a debt.

An eye for an eye.

A brother for a brother.

An Eye for an Eye: ao3/wattpad

Before the Sky Falls (prequel): ao3/wattpad

Aesthetics

Fanart 1

Daenys Velaryon fanart

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Epilogue

A/N: I posted this fic for the very first time here on tumblr, and now that it's almost complete (46 chapters have been posted on ao3/wp) I decided I should probably repost it on here because it has been given a complete rewrite since the first version yall saw. I will try to have all the parts posted on here eventually.

This fic has a prequel that explores Aemond&Daenys's childhood together and it is fully complete on ao3/wp.

If you wanna be added to the taglist, feel free to let me know!

Taglist:

120 notes · View notes

ladykailitha · 2 months ago

Text

Around the World Part 8

Hey guys!!! Just one more chapter to go!! Next Sunday will be the epilogue and I will post it Sunday and Tuesday and it'll be all done. It's honestly a little sad for me to see this little universe go. I loved playing in its sandbox and I am grateful to have gotten three stories out it. Will I return? Maybe, but right now, it has run its course.

In this we have Eddie fucking up and making up for it and we see the start of a blossoming romance that will take awhile to come to fruition.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Eddie paid a gondolier in Venice to dress up in Carnivale gear and ferry them through the city with their own costumes and masks. Murray opted to sit that one out as there was no way that anyone would recognize Eddie in the Harlequin getup he wore. Steve wore the white baggy outfit of Pulcinella while Robin and Chrissy dressed as the lovers, in fancy dresses and fitted clothes.

Eddie had wanted Steve to Colombina or even a male version Colombo. But Steve was still worried someone might recognize them. He was drawn in on himself during that river trip, with not even the antics of Robin as the male lover and Eddie as Harlequin drawing him out of his shell.

He handled the mask he was wearing better than his peers, having been used to singing and dancing with one on. When they removed theirs, laughing and talking rapidly, they were covered in sweat and smeared makeup.

Steve had sweat on his temples but was otherwise unscathed.

“You know,” Chrissy huffed, putting her hands on the flared skirt of her costume, “you could have share your tricks with us before leaving the hotel.”

Steve cracked a smile for the first time that evening. “Unless you can suddenly have three years of performing in a mask under your belt, I really don’t think my advice would help.”

Robin opened her mouth to protest, but Eddie grabbed Steve’s wrist and ran off with him. The girls started to give chase, but Murray stepped up to stop them.

He shook his head. “Just let them go. I think Steve is feeling a little morose having to wear a mask on his vacation away from being masked all the time.”

Chrissy and Robin shared opened-mouth glances of shock. No one had stopped to ask Steve if he was okay with the costumes and the masks.

“But he could have gone as Colombina or Colombo or whatever,” Robin protested. “That character doesn’t wear a mask.”

“But the rest of you were.”

“Oh.” Chrissy sat down hard on a nearby bench and Robin followed suit. Typically the lovers don’t wear masks but they all thought it would be a fun idea to wear Venetian masks on the gondola. Well most of them.

And then add to the fact that Steve picked someone who wore shapeless garments? Yeah, they fucked up.

Hard.

Steve could barely keep his feet under him as Eddie shoved him into a nook away from prying eyes.

“I fucked up,” Eddie hissed as soon as he was sure they were safe from view. “I couldn’t be here during Carnivale and wanted to experience the costumes and the masks and thrill of a river ride at night. But I didn’t ask you. I assumed you’d be fine despite everything screaming that you weren’t. You even tried to ask to do something else, but everyone else wanted to do it and my kindhearted sweetheart would never disappoint his soulmate, never mind his boyfriend so you went along with it.”

Eddie took his face in his hands. “I’m sorry Stevie. I’m so sorry. This was supposed to be romantic and I fucked up.”

Steve’s lower lip began to quiver. “I should have been more vocal about why I didn’t want to do it.”

Eddie pressed their foreheads together. “No you shouldn’t have. You don’t owe us an explanation of why you don’t want to do something. Okay?”

Steve nodded.

Eddie lifted his head and pressed their lips together. “I love you, baby.”

Rome was better than Venice in every way imaginable.

For starters, no masks.

For another, they happened to be there when Simon was.

Well, okay that was better for Steve, not so much Eddie. It was a feeling that was just so hard to shake. He knew that Simon was straight. He knew that Steve loved only him, but he felt his stomach drop the second he saw that stupidly buff Adonis leaning against the Key bridge, like he was waiting for Steve to share a lock with, not Eddie.

He tried to tramp down on the feelings of jealousy as Robin and Steve ran up to Simon and were hugging and laughing with him.

Chrissy put her hand on his elbow. “Down, boy.”

Eddie turned to her, bristling but when he looked at her, she was pointing to a bench not too far away from the bridge.

Eddie’s salvation. With bright red hair, green eyes, and cute freckles on her face. Vickie Cameron.

It didn’t appear that she was aware of the reunion going on literally twenty feet from where she chose to read.

A grin spread out over Eddie’s face. He licked his lips slowly and did his little loping walk/run over to Vickie.

“Well hey there, stranger,” he said brightly. “Fancy meeting you here. You here for business or pleasure?”

Vickie looked up and smiled just as brightly. “Eddie? Oh my gosh! It’s great to see you!” She leapt to her feet to give him a hug. “It’s a little of both actually.”

“How are you doing?” Eddie asked with a fond smile. Despite his current mission, he really did like his new agent.

She waved her hand back and forth. “Eh. I’ve been keeping up on things and they’ve really been quiet. The new looks have really gone a long way to keeping a low profile. Boston notwithstanding.”

Eddie winced. Boston was still a sore spot of their trip.

She picked at his lapel, running it between her finger and thumb. “I’m really digging the pink suit and shirt. It looks good on you.”

Eddie grinned back. “That’s all Stevie. Speak of whom, would you do me a favor, light of my eyes?”

Vickie snorted. “I thought that was Steve but go on.”

“Do you see that beautiful hunk of a straight man next to my heart of hearts?” he asked, pointing over at Simon.

“Ah.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, grimacing. “You see I have this very romantic evening planned and that bronze Adonis will absolutely derail all my best laid plans.”

“Consider it done,” Vickie said with a smile. “Lead on, MacDuff.”

Eddie loped back over to the others. “While you were admiring the statues, you missed a beautiful rose in bloom.” He moved to the side. “Look who I found!”

“Vickie!” Robin squealed and threw her arms around the other woman.

Then it was Chrissy’s turn to bristle.

“Down, girl,” Eddie teased. “I have a plan. Your little bird is safe, I promise.”

Simon lit up too. “Vickie! Imagine meeting you here.”

Chrissy’s mouth formed an O. She pursed her lips and ducked her head, slyly looking at the painfully shy guitarist. So that’s the plan then, she thought. Three couples.

Steve was torn. He liked Simon and loved hanging out with the guy, but Rome was supposed to make up for the disastrous Venice.

“I have an idea!” Chrissy said, coming to the rescue, her manager senses tingling. “Why don’t Robin and I take Vickie and Simon out to dinner so that Eddie and Steve can still have their night and then we’ll all meet up for breakfast.”

Simon readily agreed. “We’ll meet at the Fontanella degli Innamorati at, say, 9am?”

Steve looked to Robin to translate.

“The Fountain of Love.”

Steve nodded. “Sounds good. You four have fun!” He grabbed Eddie’s wrist and tore off the opposite direction.

Eddie followed behind, laughing. He really didn’t have anything to worry about. Steve would chose him every time unless it was an emergency.

Eddie and Steve had a wonderful candlelit dinner and moonlit walk of the city. The walked to the Key Bridge and Eddie pulled out an antique lock with their initials engraved on the back. He held it out to Steve with the key.

“Did you want to do the honors?”

Steve smiled and took them both from him. He looked up and down the bridge looking for a good spot, Eddie watching with a fond smile. Finally Steve called Eureka! and Eddie made his way over. Near the middle, toward the top, Steve snapped their lock into place.

He handed the key back to Eddie. “I placed it, I think you should throw away the key.”

Eddie grinned. “Sounds fair.” He took the key and chucked it as far as he could. It landed in the water with a soft plunk!

Then he got got down on one knee and held out a small velvet box. Steve’s hands went to cover his mouth as he fought back tears.

“I know we can’t do rings because Abbadon doesn’t wear them,” Eddie began, “but he does wear other jewelry.” He opened the box and inside was a single charm on a delicate chain. It was a guitar. He pulled out a similar chain from under his shirt. It was a pair of wings. He pulled up his shirt sleeve to show that the tattoo had been altered too.

Steve looked down at the white wings in confusion.

“After Venice,” he continued, “I realized that you aren’t your mask, Stevie. You’re the wings. The way you fly is incandescent. So I had it changed to wings so that I will always remember that if I fall you will catch me.”

Tears started flowing down Steve’s cheeks. “I love you so much.”

“Will you marry me?” Eddie asked. “We don’t have to get married right away but–”

Steve pulled him to his feet and kissed him soundly. “Of course yes!! A million times yes.”

The next morning they all meet for breakfast and Steve and Eddie shared the news.

Simon smiled. “About time!” he said nudging Eddie shoulder playfully. “I was starting to think I was going to have to give you the shovel talk if you didn’t ask him on this trip.”

Eddie blushed.

They walked back to the Fountain of Love and there was a beautiful older woman there in a white dress and large brimmed hat, dipping her fingers into the pool and splashing any pigeons that got too close.

She looked up at the six of them and smiled. “A coin for the fountain, dearies? To ensure true love?”

Simon and the all the ladies hastened to get out a Euro or two for the fountain. She turned to Eddie and Steve.

“Is love too good for you gentlemen?” she teased.

“No ma’am,” Steve said softly, looking up at Eddie. “I just already have it.”

Her face transformed into a brilliant smile. “Aww, young love. Well then perhaps an offering to the fountain as thanks for your good fortune?”

Eddie and Steve shared a glance and then Eddie dug into his pocket. He handed Steve a Euro and they both tossed in their coin.

“Thank you,” she murmured and then looked over at Simon and Vickie laughing together. “How long do you think it will take the other young man to realize the lady is his true love?”

Eddie chuckled. “Well it took Steve and me a decade and they’re way smarter than us. So half that maybe. Five years give or take?”

The woman nodded solemnly. “I fear you maybe right. But they’ll get there.”

A flock of pigeons took to the air and when they had gone, so too, had the woman.

“Stevie?” Eddie asked anxiously. “Did we talk to another spirit?”

Steve pressed his lips together and nodded wide-eyed, rocking back on his heels.”Yep!”

“I hope that was some ghostie,” Eddie said with a grimace, “and not actually a god.”

“Same.”

Narrator voice: Just Venus, blessing our boys. Nothing to see here, move along.

Part 9

Tag List:

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @garden-of-gay

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #rockstar au #rockstar eddie munson #rockstar steve harrington

66 notes · View notes

clockypastaa · 4 months ago

Text

Agnes Zawatsky

So, thanks to Evan Dorkin, I decided to give Agnes lore/headcanon. Because I love her, even though she was mentioned once.

Lore:

Who was Agnes before meeting Jerry? :

She's an average/unpopular girl. She wasn't attractive, the girl had acne and dressed as if she's preparing herself to spend her quality time in the library. After school she would spend her time in the school library as a personal assistant or be with her small group of friends who held up the usual book club.

How did she meet Jerry? What caused them to interact to one another? :

They both had the same Biology class, they never spoke to one another. There was never a reason for her to speak to him, and same with him. Until the teacher had assigned them both to work on a project with one another. Having to spend with each other for a week straight during class and afterwards. In such a short period of time, Agnes had picked up Jerry's interest with fantasy/DnD. Causing her to open up with her passion for literature, even showing him the written work she had done with her personal journal that she kept with her 24/7. A friendship between them both began to bloom from their special interests without judgement.

How did their friendship affect the Eltingville club? :

Jerry always seemed so... Distracted? Although he was still passionate with the club and when it came to hosting their usual campaign. The guy seemed eager to finish the club meetings earlier than usual, and would be the first one to leave the basement to head somewhere. Where? Who knows. Didn't help that every time in the hallway, he would always stand in a certain spot by Pete's locker, waving at a random girl that would pass by everytime after the 5th period. So giddy and happy, and Agnes was the same. Bill was the one who first began to pick this up.

Romantic or simply platonic? :

I would probably like to think it was more of a romantic in a sense. Although both of them never would want to admit it out loud due to fear of rejection. Agnes was the first girl who seemed to genuinely like being around Jerry without insulting or berating him. Jerry was a guy who seemed to appreciate her literature and would listen to her ramble about her concerns with her rough drafts.

Aftermath :

So, Agnes avoids Jerry as a plague. Thanks to Bill's lies, she feels as if everyone at school thinks she slept with Jerry. Jerry would guess that her avoiding him meant that she was no longer interested in being friends with him, which upsets him but goes back to his usual routine to forget.

Epilogue Agnes

Thanks to Bill, she is very hesitant around men in general. Afraid that a man she will befriend would automatically end up like Jerry. The only men she interacts with are her coworkers at her job, family members, or Bill.

Bill and she aren't friends, not one bit. But she often checks up on him. Only kept contact with him because she felt as if she owed him for telling her about Jerry's inappropriate comments towards her.

She's a news anchor, and went to University to get the proper education to get to that position.

I would add more headcanons soon as a teenager and more as an adult. My brain is going to explode, and this post is already long.

#the eltingville club #eltingville #jerry stokes #bill dickey #agnes zawatsky

105 notes · View notes

openphrase123 · 4 months ago

Text

i just finished this fic! it's good!

and because it's all done i want to like... be a LITTLE self indulgent and talk under the cut about some miscellaneous things that i ran into while writing it. don't click the readmore if you're interested in the fic and haven't read it yet i'm about to spoil the Whole thing.

also there is an epilogue to this fic now - go read that before this post if you're getting to this before the update!!

so!! i haven't written fanfiction in like FIVE YEARS. it's been a while! part of that is because i was doing original stuff and part of it was i was in a creative slump. so isat kind of dug me out of that and i owe it my thanks. i've been able to do a crazy amount of original work since starting this fic, it's brought back my creative discipline. in like seven years when my video game comes out you can thank isat for that probably

i originally set out thinking this was the only fic for isat i was going to write. and then as i was writing this i fell deeper into it. i kind of got out of isat a little disappointed in how it ended?? but now that i'm here i'm like ah it's fine. just cause i would have done something different in dev's position doesn't mean it's bad. it does mean i can write a bunch of fanfiction exploring things i wish had been tackled more in the game though LOL

i said this in one of the chapter authors notes but i DID start out curtain call hating loop with every fiber of my being. (as in i liked them as a character UNTIL the act 6 reveal which i thought was lame) and then i played through the game a second time knowing the loop twist and went "oh nvm this makes sense" so a lot of the loop stuff in this fic was actually written twice. originally i was just gonna have them soulmerge with siffrin and not be present at all but then i was like. no. i do want to keep this lighthearted and that's too depressing of an end for loop. i do have a loop postcanon doc so i'll go repay them for their slapdashed involvement in curtain call someday

i'm in a weird position with curtain call in that i wrote the themes and major conflicts Directly After playing through isat the first time. before i could really marinate and analyze the characters fully. so there are a lot of scenes and points where i think i wouldn't characterize certain people like that if i were to rewrite this from scratch? however i don't disagree with what i've written either - it's just an interpretation that i don't necessarily think is my favorite anymore.

neither is any of the worldbuilding i did for any of this - it works for curtain call and i think it was nice but i don't necessarily think it's my current interpretation of what the culture and people were like? i like the wishes being permanent thing, i like the language stuff, but i'd probably go in a different direction if i went through this again

i do actually still think "the forgotten island was destroyed by a volcano" is my solid headcanon explanation of what happened to it. in my heart. i think like - with siffrin as a character especially it's very important that he's always missing something, that it's not idyllically happy for them at the end of everything. so even if he can remember more from their own past, it's - you know - there's no way to go back. only forward.

in the vein of this i probably could have killed siffrin/loop's entire childhood family but i did not. mostly because i did think it was fun for him to have to explain all of those cultural taboos they broke to survive. which, of course, was not a big deal - any good parent would rather their kid be alive than lawful - but what is isat other than a vehicle to make siffrin work through every moral compulsion and spiral they experience

i had a thought halfway through writing the fic that i was stepping on the very good and beautiful odile friendquest by making the island real and having a lot of siffrin's personality dictate how it went. but i ultimately decided on keeping siffrin very close to their country, more than odile is to vaugarde, because siffrin actually DID live on the island when he was a kid and that i think is a Different type of "longing for your country" trauma than odile's. i think they can still drink over the feelings together though

writing bonnie is very fun but very emotional for me. the bonnie&siffrin age gap (preteen to late-20s) is the exact age gap between me and my niece so every time i need to sit down and write something for them i think about her and how much she's a little baby growing up. this has nothing to do with bonnie it just makes writing bonnie really hard for me

if the entire history of my ao3 account was not an indicator, i'm a very big fan of writing romance, but i did not want it to take over curtain call at all. i also could have left out sloopis entirely and almost did, but thought "you know. with the way loop functions in this fic. i should at least let that be open ended" cause sharing a body with a version of you who is dating some other guy is gonna get messy no matter what. it's just not necessarily something i had time to or the urge to explore here. think of it as a fun spiritual nod to the fact that isafrin is technically open ended in isat (<- cop out answer)

i think i'm pretty vocal in how much i am absolutely insane for the flashback "happiest i can remember being" conversation. who let them do that. i think a lot of how i worked with mirabelle and siffrin's relationship in this fic kind of revolved around that. important to me that it ends with mira checking in on him and getting the answer she was looking for all along <3

overall i'm happy with curtain call. glad i am done with it though. there's so much that's running in with it at once. i'll probably wait a month and reread the whole thing to myself front to back before i start having fond memories of this. i mean it's always gonna be the fic my nephew was born during and i'll always remember having a panic attack in the airport right after posting chapter 7 but it's gonna be weird letting this one sail off into the ocean of the internet. however feel free to ask anything about the fic, i wrote this in a lil hurry on a bad day and probably didn't cover everything

goodbye, curtain call!! i love you!!!!! i'll miss you!!!!

[looks both ways, waiting for most people to leave]

also. if you've read this far. i hope it's not too gauche of me to link my personal project. if you've read over 100k words of this you might enjoy the game i'm developing? i've been working on it for almost a year but i just started the devlog last month. it's still in early baby stages as far as a full video game goes but if you liked this you'll like the game when it comes out (similar nickname culture, timeloop trauma, petty interpersonal drama, very stupid jokes, natural disaster angst)

also there isn't a lot on the devblog yet, i've mostly been doing programming on it, i JUST started visdev i'm sorry if it's uglyyyyy (FOR NOW)

anyway i'm trusting you with that link. i'm going to use my professional name on that project when it airs don't cross the wires pretty please just pretend that's a butch-y cis woman's game <3 guard the closet door babeyyyyy

#isat #yaaay :)

79 notes · View notes

autistichalsin · 11 months ago

Text

All dialogue options for Halsin's request for a story for the children in the epilogue

There are generic options, unique options for Durges, each Origin, and even for Origin paths (I.E. Justiciar Shadowheart vs Selune path Shadowheart) so I thought I'd collect them all here! There are some nice characterization moments here, and I love Halsin's reactions to some of these. (Also, I had no idea Gale could still ascend to godhood as a mindflayer? Or at least there's dialogue for it here...) I hope you guys enjoys these!

All characters/Tav:

Regale Halsin with tales of your past six months.

Halsin: You have kept yourself busy - I expected no less, in truth. I shall be able to keep the children enthralled for a few more nights yet, thanks to you. And should you wish to retell of your exploits in person? Well, I shall not object to a night off.

All characters/Tav:

The truth may be a little flat. Spice it up a little. (This triggers a skill roll for deception)

If the roll succeeds:

Halsin: You are truly incapable of disappointing. The children shall be rapt - and have no fear; all due credit shall be given to the tale's originator.

If the roll fails:

Halsin: Hmm, do I detect a certain... exaggeration? You could give Master Geddarm a run for his gold - though I suppose he has little need for it now, Oak Father bless him. In any case, my audience will favour a good tale over veracity any day - I thank you for your offering.

Any character who accompanied Karlach to Avernus:

Halsin: I am glad you and Karlach have an enduring friendship - it shall serve as a strong lesson for the children, as well as a stirring tale.

Any player who became a mindflayer:

My exploits have been limited by my new form. I live as a pariah, feared by most.

Halsin: Yet not by me. I shall tell the children of your heroism and sacrifice. They shall know what they owe to you, trust me.

Mindflayer characters who have plans with the Emperor:

I have been dwelling far from the public eye. Yet the Emperor and I have grand plans in motion - that I cannot speak of.

Halsin: Too murky for a children's tale, I fear. Perhaps I should focus on the hero you were, and the sacrifice you made. But thank you for sharing, nonetheless.

Mind flayer characters who are allied with the Emperor:

My new form demands discretion. I have been amassing power in the shadows with my ally, the emperor.

Halsin: I see. Perhaps the children can learn something from your ambition in the face of adversity. Thank you.

Mindflayer characters who killed the Emperor:

My exploits have been limited by my new form. I live as a pariah, feared by most.

Halsin: And with an appetite for the grey ambrosia that dwells within every skull, I presume? Perhaps I shall remind the children of your heroism and self-sacrifice... and skip over the brain-eating until they are older.

Dragonborn Dark Urge:

How about a ghost story? A spectral dragon who will haunt the little ones' dreams, if they don't behave.,

Halsin: Most enthralling - though perhaps it may lead to some sleepless nights for the younger ones. I can make something palatable with a little showmanship and creative licence - thank you.

Any Dark Urge:

Tell Halsin a detective story, where in the end, the intrepid Fist discovers they had been committing the murders all along.

Halsin: A touch bleak perhaps, but considering the amount of orphans in my audience, I am sure they shall manage. I can make something palatable with a little showmanship and creative licence - thank you.

God Gale:

Recall the parable of the Yearning Orphan, your youngest follower and already a great prophet spreading your doctrine...

Halsin: You are truly incapable of disappointing. The children shall be rapt - and have no fear; all due credit shall be given to the tale's originator.

Also God Gale:

Tell him of the tribulations of godhood. The politics, the bureaucracy, the endless prayers to answer...

Halsin: Well luckily for you, mortals have a habit of embellishing their run-ins with gods... I am sure I can muster something to captivate the children from what I can glean of you.

God Gale:

Well, I have developed a taste for togas, for one thing.

Halsin: I am glad you have kept yourself occupied. No doubt I will be able to spin a few yarns from the children from this. Thank you.

Mindflayer God Gale:

Well, I've been doing my best to not frighten my followers. I'd hate to be one of those gods.

Halsin: I am glad you have kept yourself occupied. No doubt I will be able to spin a few yarns from the children from this. Thank you.

Non-god Gale who went back to Waterdeep:

I've been researching the tale of the first Blackstaff, Khelben Arunsun. My abridged notes would make for a fascinating bedtime story.

Halsin: I see... well I trust your sources, of course. Perhaps the historical record can survive an embellishment or two, for the sake of the children. In any case, you have my gratitude.

Non-god Gale who didn't return to Waterdeep:

What haven't I done? Delved into dungeons, read secret tomes, taken out a rogue shadow mage or two. Enough magic and mystery for a treasury of tales.

Halsin: Why, Master Dekarios, I had no idea you would continue to stoke the fires of adventure. I commend you - as shall the children, once they hear of your exploits. Thank you.

Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:

Tell Halsin of how you consolidated your power over Lady Shar's church, purging the disloyal with bloody vigor.

Halsin: My. Perhaps a tale for the older children, once I trim off a few of the... less savoury details. But thank you, all the same.

Also Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:

I have been continuing to serve Lady Shar however I can.

Halsin: You are stalwart, even in service of darkness. There will be a lesson there for me to impart to the children... with a few details glossed over, perhaps. Thank you.

Selune path Shadowheart who killed her parents:

Tell Halsin of how you've roamed far and wide, now that you are free of Shar.

Halsin: The shadows were concealing a true adventurer's heart then. Thank you - the children shall be rapt.

Shadowheart whose parents are alive, whether Selune path or Dark Justiciar:

Regale Halsin with tales of your tranquil life with your family and coterie of animals.

Halsin: Yes, I thought I caught the scent of a wolf upon the wind... the children shall love this, but be warned - they may insist upon a visit.

Selune path Shadowheart:

I have been forging my own path, away from Shar's influence.

Halsin: I shall be honoured to speak of you to the children. To embrace change as you have shall make for a stirring example. Thank you.

Any path Shadowheart:

I've been at something of a loose end - roaming and adventuring as I see fit.

Halsin: Countless tales have begun with a roaming adventurer - I am sure I shall keep the children enthralled for years to come with your exploits. Thank you.

Orpheus path Lae'zel:

I have ridden a red dragon to battle as a Warrior of the Comet. The lich queen Vlaakith will fall by my hand.

Halsin: Oak Father preserve you - I hope you have a tight hold on the beast. But this shall make for a most stirring tale for the children. I may even have to tone down the details, for fear they get too excited...

Lae'zel who stayed in Faerun:

I have travelled the harshest lands of the Sword Coast, piercing the hearts of the lich queen's countless assassins.

Halsin: Ha! I think some of the more bloodthirsty children will relish this, thank you.

Wyll who became a Grand Duke and made an eternal pact with Mizora:

I embraced my hellish side and dedicated my life to rebuilding the grand city of Baldur's Gate.

Halsin: The makings of the multi-night epic. The children shall rush to their bunks in order to hear the next chapter, thank you.

Wyll who became a Grand Duke but didn't continue his pact with Mizora:

I turned from my hellish past and dedicated my life to rebuilding the grand city of Baldur's Gate.

Halsin: A noble calling. Your tale shall inspire a whole generation. Thank you.

Wyll who stayed the Blade of Frontiers and made an eternal pact with Mizora:

The Sword Coast is safe as ever thanks to the Blade and his infernal powers.

Halsin: The classic tale of the Blade, but with a twist? This shall go down very well with the children, I sense. Thank you.

Wyll who stayed the Blade of Frontiers and ended his pact with Mizora:

The Blade of Frontiers is back on the hunt. The Sword Coast is safe as ever.

Halsin: Many of the children have already heard of you, as it were - do you know some of them scarcely even believe this old bear could be acquainted with such a hero? But the authentic sense that your recollections bring to the tale shall win them over, no doubt. Thank you.

Wyll who became the Blade of Avernus and made an eternal pact with Mizora:

No hellbeast is safe from the Blade of Avernus and his infernal powers.

Halsin: Thank you, the children shall be agog. I do believe some of them use the number of beastly fangs and claws present in a tale as the yardstick for its quality - which puts yours right at the top of the heap.

Wyll who became the Blade of Avernus and but ended his pact with Mizora:

The Blade of Avernus is on the hunt. The Hells shudder at the very mention of his name.

Halsin: A classic tale. I expect it shall inspire more than a few of the children to start practising their ripostes with wooden sticks.

Wyll who became the Blade of Avernus, made an eternal pact with Mizora, and went to Avernus with Karlach:

The Blade of Avernus and his companion are on the hunt. No hellbeast is safe from his infernal powers.

Halsin: A formidable duo. I am glad that you and Karlach have each other - it shall serve as a strong lesson for the children, as well as a stirring tale.

Wyll who became the Blade of Avernus, did not make an eternal pact with Mizora, and went to Avernus with Karlach:

The Blade of Avernus and his companion are on the hunt. The Hells shudder at the very mention of his name.

Halsin: I am glad you and Karlach have an enduring friendship - it shall serve as a strong lesson for the children, as well as a stirring tale.

Astarion who didn't ascend, but defeated Cazador:

I've been revelling in my freedom, rediscovering the joys of the night.

Halsin: Sanguine joys, no doubt? Perhaps I shall smoothen out some of those details - the children do not need to know the full truth of your diet. But they shall be rapt all the same, thank you.

Astarion who didn't defeat Cazador:

Halsin, I've been hiding in sewers and eating rats. It's not a glorious tale.

Halsin: Ah, but the glory can be found in the telling. The children love tales of underdogs, facing odds most unlikely. They shall appreciate your story, trust me.

Astarion who didn't defeat Cazador and became a mindflayer:

Halsin, I've been hiding in sewers and eating rats' brains. It's not a glorious tale.

Halsin: Ah, but the glory can be found in the telling. The children love tales of underdogs, facing odds most unlikely. They shall appreciate your story, trust me.

Ascended Astarion:

My tales are a little heavy on murder and sex. But if the children want to hear them...

Halsin: Hmm. Perhaps I can substitute the bloodlust and... eh, general lust for cuddles and animals in the retelling. The children may be confused, but no matter - they will soon be asleep. Even with a few little white lies, rest assured that they shall be engrossed. Thank you.

Ascended Astarion who became a mindflayer:

My tales are a little heavy on murder, sex, and tentacles. But if the children want to hear them...

Karlach who went to Avernus alone:

Tell him of how you lost your horn.

Halsin: Truly? I never would have guessed that is what happened. And to think I believed I had the measure of you... but I am glad to be wrong - the children shall be captivated.

#halsin #halsin silverbough #astarion #astarion ancunin #gale dekarios #wyll ravengard #karlach #karlach cliffgate #shadowheart #lae'zel #dark urge #the dark urge #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

194 notes · View notes

sweetbillwriting · 4 months ago

Text

In The Dead of Night

THE LAST CHAPTER

& EPILOGUE

Characters: AU Eric played by Bill Skarsgård from The Crow (2024)

Setting: This story is set in A WHOLE OTHER WORLD than the movie. Shelley isn't a part of this story. Eric will be different from the movie.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Notes: Thanks to @b-afterhours for helping me with the language. Picture credit to @hiddlelecki

It was obvious Robin had done something to destroy for Eric, and the only thing I could see it could be, was the relationship with Lotti. The relationship with Simone wasn't good enough to feel a victory over by destroying, and it didn't have anything to do with their relationship either. The thing the two of them had fought about their whole lives was the love from their parents, so it must be that Robin had taken away from Eric.

Eric didn't see Lotti; Lotti even believed he was dead, but that seemed to be his own decision—not anything Robin had forced him to, but Eric grieved his relationship with Lotti, even so loudly he cried over her like a little child. Once again I thought back on Eric's hurt look I had inflicted, and I swallowed dryly. I owed it to him to get to the bottom of this, and if Robin didn't want to talk to me, I must find someone else, someone who had been by Lotti's side more than her sons had in recent years.

×××

I had visited Lotti several times at the home and started to get used to the procedure, but that day I wasn't there to visit her but to talk with someone else; Fiona, her contact nurse, who had the closest relationship to her of all the nurses. I didn't know if she would give me anything because of the patient's confidentiality agreement, but I needed to at least give it a try for both Lotti and Eric. They deserved having a functional relationship, and something obviously stood in the way for that to happen—something Robin had created.

At the reception stood a young nurse I recognized, and with a small smile I asked for Fiona.

“She's with a resident right now, but if you want to, you can wait for her here.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll do that then. Would you let her know I'm here? I just have some questions.” The nurse nodded with a bright smile before turning her gaze back to a laptop. I looked around while waiting and felt my nerves going up by just standing there. Fiona might refuse to talk to me. After ten minutes, I saw her come out from the door behind the reception, and when she saw me, she smiled.

“Here to see Lotti?”

I took a deep inhale and approached the reception again.

“No, I want to talk to you actually.”

Fiona looked at me surprised but then nodded a little.

“Is it a sensitive topic?”

I nodded, and it made Fiona nod too, and then she gestured to me to follow her.

She took me to a little room with a view over the yard and with four armchairs. It felt like the room where they told family members someone had died, and it made me a bit uncomfortable, but I still sat down in one of the armchairs while Fiona fixed coffee from the machine in the corner.

She sat down with a loud exhalation and corrected her ponytail.

“So what can I help you with?”

I looked down at my phone and looked through my phone’s gallery. It was full of pictures of Eric. It wasn't weird; he was so photogenic it would be a crime not to photograph him. I found a picture, modest but sweet, to show Fiona. He sat on the couch, occupied with his sketchbook, brows furrowing deeply. He wore an acid patterned t-shirt; in many of my pictures, he was shirtless. I gave her my phone, and she looked at the picture of him and nodded a little.

“The son she lost?” Fiona said carefully. My gaze lowered into my lap, avoiding the question, but she probably believed it was a yes.

“Did he ever visit her?

Fiona laid my phone on the table and gave me an empathetic look.

“I can't talk about that.”

“But I don't mean to know anything about Lotti, I just want to know if he was here. Fiona looked between my phone on the table and me. My eyes were glassy, and I tried to make my hands stop shaking by dragging them over my jeans-clad thighs. Fiona licked her lips and then nodded.

“Once… Not long before his accident happened. He… He didn't look like he felt so good…” She said everything low, like she was afraid someone would hear her. “Then it was so... It was really awful—his last meeting with his mom, and she didn't recognize him. Robin told me she more or less had screamed at him, and,” Fiona pointed to my phone. “He ran away. I didn't get a chance to talk to him and explain it was a bad day.”

I swallowed hard and dragged my hands over my cheeks. I couldn't even imagine what happened in Eric's head when his mom didn't recognize him, but I could also guess what Lotti saw instead of her youngest son. I had seen the pictures of the unhealthy Eric, thin and pale, hollow-eyed, and then on top of that, all his tattoos. The meeting must have been heartbreaking for Eric. His loving mom screamed in terror at seeing him, the person he loved the most judging him. I laid my hands over my face when I once again could hear my own words to him. Fucking junkie. I was the worst human ever.

“I can't tell you more; I've already said too much…” said Fiona, and I nodded.

“Thank you, thank you…” I said when I had removed my hands from my face. Fiona gave me a small

smile before we said goodbye.

×××

I sat on a bench in one of my town's parks even if the wind blew cold. I looked at Eric's number on my phone. I didn't want anything else than to call him and beg him to forgive me, but I had already done that once, and it felt like it was harder to defend my right to do it.

I wanted to be able to say something real to him—not just whine and beg again, but it also felt like I had something to say.

I tried to paint up a timeline in my head, and for everything I put on it, a more and more clearer picture grew in front of me.

Eric Senior; Robin and Eric's father had died, and it had made Eric lose his footing again. Once again, he started to use drugs. Lotti got in an accident, causing her stroke, and when she met Eric, she couldn't recognize him. Robin got him into rehab, but they also said to Lotti that Eric was dead.

Looking at the timeline, it felt obvious what was missing. Robin had never told Eric it was just a bad day, that Lotti did remember him but just had a confused day. He had let Eric believe his mom saw him just as a druggy guy. Robin had taken his mom away from Eric when he had the chance and left Eric alone, without a family.

I let my tears run down my cheeks slowly while I looked down at the ground. My heart was bleeding for Eric, but I also felt so fooled by Robin. He had been my best friend for two years, and never had I thought he was capable of such an evil crime. I couldn't see another reason to do it than just punish him for being the favorite son, but with this, it became even more understandable why Eric was the favorite. He had a heart of gold, while Robin obviously could let his heart become stone.

Eric needed to know this as fast as possible; he had already missed so much time with Lotti.

×××

It wouldn't be easy to get Eric to listen to me; I knew that, but that didn't make it any less frustrating when he didn't pick up when I called him. I called him every day that week while working in the salon. Robin was sick, but I was quite certain the truth was he didn't want to meet me.

When the weekend came, I had decided to go to Eric, but to my surprise my sister showed up with Odin. I didn't think Robin would keep our schedule, but clearly he would. Desiree looked at me irritated when she just dropped Odin's leash so he could give his wild hello to me.

“Are you fighting again? Come on, you too shouldn't have a dog together!”

I sighed a little while patting Odin's dark fur. It looked like Eric's hair, but Eric's hair was much softer. “He refused to see you.”

“Yeah, because he lied to his mom about Eric being dead,” I said with a pointed look. Desiree looked at me with big eyes; once again, the gossip devil burned in her eyes.

“Seriously??”

“Yeah, because he's jealous. If I could, I would crush his nose!”

“That's insane! But are you and Eric a couple now?”

I gave her a pained look.

“It's so fucking messy, but I will fix it. I know it sounds silly, but I can't live without him. I can't breathe right without him.”

Desiree smiled a little at me and nodded. She probably started to understand Dante wasn't the real deal, Eric was.

“What is your plan?”

“I must go to him and tell him about Robin so he can fix his relationship with his mom. It's a super long story... But his story.”

I meant it wasn't my story to tell, and Desiree nodded, but she looked disappointed. She wanted more gossip.

“But now you have Odin, will you wait-”

I stop her with a head shake.

“No, I'll bring him. Eric loves him. He loves Eric more than anyone else.”

She giggled. “More than you?”

“Totally. I'm the third wheel with them.”

Desiree giggled, then gave me a hug.

“Fix this then. I want to know how dad reacts when you have a boyfriend with Lovecraft on his back.”

I smiled warmly at her but also nervously, not because of my dad's love for gothic literature but because I couldn't mess this up now when Desiree rooted for me.

×××

“Please open Eric! Please!” I shouted outside of his door. I didn't know if he chose to not open it or if he actually wasn't home. “Eric!”

Odin barked twice, but not even that made Eric open the door. I walked to my car again and tried to find a solution. I looked at Odin in the seat next to me, and he looked at me with one eyebrow lifted and eyes full of worry that I wouldn't fix this.

“We will fix something for us to eat and take a long walk and maybe a nap because we will visit someone late tonight…” I said to him and patted his head and ear.

I bought us each a hamburger, not the best dog food, but for one night it was okay, then I tried to make the time pass by walking around; it was boring as hell, but at 00.30 am we could finally go to Jackie’s. I didn't care that it was desperate; I was desperate.

Jackie opened with a smirk. He was obviously high and didn't even give us a confused look. I let Odin's leash go; that way Jackie or anyone else couldn’t easily kick us out. Odin ran into the living room so fast he slipped on the floor. That kind of joy could only mean Eric was there. My heart speeded up at once, and for a few seconds I wanted to turn around and flee.

“Eric is here if you’re searching for him, but I don't think he wants to see you,” said Jackie teasingly. Normally I would answer such teasing with attitude, but now I just swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. Jackie turned to the living room but stopped in the doorway, probably because of my big dog. I looked at myself with the help of the front camera on my phone. I had fixed my makeup and hair earlier in the car, but now, with the nerves, it felt like it all had fallen. After that, I finally brought myself together and walked into the living room. The scene there looked like it usually did. Five guys listening to music, drinking cheap beer, and smoking herbal joints. The air was heavy with the spicy smoke and the mist hung in the air for a long time after someone had exhaled.

Eric had moved down to the floor to cuddle with Odin, and he lay on his back while the dog licked his face almost sensually. I wanted to lay down with them but knew that would be too much, so I sat down on the armrest of the couch. His friends looked at me with big eyes, but none of them would get themselves involved in our mess. Eric sat up and pushed Odin away when he started to get way too excited, and with a snap of his fingers, he got him to lay down on the floor next to him. Odin looked at me pleased, and I envied him for how easy it was for him. When I looked at Eric, he looked away. I had planned to be cool in front of his friends but forgot all about that when he finally looked at me. The sob and tears came from nowhere, and even if I didn't see anyone's expression, I knew everyone in the room was uncomfortable.

Eric didn't let me sit and cry in front of his friends for a long time, he was too kind to do that and took my hand so we could get away.

He guided me out to the hallway and succeeded in having Odin as a tail.

“We’ll take a walk, okay?” He said lowly to me, and then he put on his khaki-colored vans and his long black coat. I put on my outerwear with some struggle, and when I was finished, Eric stood with Odin, leashed by the door.

We walked in silence, the only thing we could hear was my nose that couldn't stop running and Odin's claws landing on the concrete. I looked carefully at Eric, who looked sad and disappointed. I hated the look, and especially that it was me who had caused it.

“I want to say sorry three hundred times for what I said to you—that I accused you of taking those pills, but it isn't why I am here, or not just that reason.”

Eric gave me a quick look but then looked away, uninterested.

“It's about Lotti. Why did you stop seeing her?”

Eric scoffed after a while and shook his head.

“None of your business.”

His answer had some attitude, and even if it was just a little, it surprised me.

“Is it because she forgot you?”

Eric scoffed again and looked down at the ground. He really tried to have a cold attitude, but he was too bad at concealing his real emotions.

“She hasn't forgotten you-”

“Fuck Della! Please, why do you do this?” He said, irritated, and stopped to look straight at me. I stopped just in front of him and looked up at his face.

“She hasn't forgotten you; she misses you all the time-”

“I've met her! She threw a fucking glass at me! She has forgotten me, okay?!” His voice was loud now, but it didn't feel scary because it was such understandable frustration and pain.

“It was just then. It was just that moment. She forgets me too; the next time she's her normal self again. Robin has lied to you. She talks about you all the time and is broken without you!”

My voice was also loud now, to make him listen and shut him up. It worked because Eric stood and looked at me with big, glassy eyes they gave more light than the street light next to us.

“...what?” He said after a while, with a small voice.

“It's a lie, Eric. She hasn't forgotten you. She believes you're dead because that's what Robin said to her, and you believe she has lost the memory of you, but she hasn't! She thinks about you daily!”

I looked at him straight in the eyes, even if they shifted round and round. He dragged his hands over his face and dropped Odin's leash, but he stood by his side anyway. Big tattooed hands covered his face while sob after sob left his mouth. I wanted to hug him but didn't dare, but when he started to cry uncontrollably and was forced to sit down on the ground, I sat down in front of him.

“You can meet her, baby... You can be with your mom again…” I said calmly, and it made him lean his forehead against my shoulder. I took that as an invitation to hug him, and it caused him to unleash his feelings again. He cried loudly in a way I never heard a grown man cry before, and that made it even more heartbreaking. He wasn't a man at that moment, he was Lotti's little boy.

I hugged him hard with Odin sitting close to us, and Eric hugged me around my waist like he was much smaller than he was. I wiped his tears over and over, hushing him, but it took so long for him to calm down. He was shaking when he looked at me with red eyes and nose.

“I want to go home,” he said, wiping his eyes and nose with the backside of his hand. I nodded and dried away a tear on his jaw.

“Let's get home.”

×××

He calmed down quite quickly at home and let me help him take off his clothes down to his boxers and then bundle him up in bed. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought he had a serious cold; he both acted and looked like a sick person, but he was just upset. I sat down on the edge of the bed and forced him to drink a glass of water. He looked at me with his red-rimmed eyes. I was prepared for him to turn his back against me, but instead he pulled my top and pants like he wanted me to take them off.

“Do you want me to lay here with you?” I asked softly, and I got a nod back.

I took off my clothes close to the bed—so close he could drag his hand over my leg while I did it. It was obvious my skin was calming to him, and he tried to feel as much as he could. When I just wore my bra and panties, he looked up at me, then stretched out his arm and pulled in my panties. He did it again when I looked at him pointedly, so I pulled both them and my bra off. He lifted the cover so I could crawl down next to him, but he pulled me up over him. I sat up, straddling his hips to be able to look into his eyes.

“I love you, and we should talk and all that, but... I need you now, please. I need you now.” He said with a low voice while pulling down his boxers. I nodded and leaned down to kiss his lips. After that, I didn't drag it out; I let him slip into me, and I rode him until he couldn't handle anymore. 2 minutes and 36 seconds.

×××

I asked so many times if he had forgiven me, and he said yes, and that he loved me, every time. He could see that both of our emotions had been wild in every way lately, but I still continued to say I was sorry for a long time.

I had hoped he would want to see Lotti at once, but something held him back, so it wasn't until two weeks later he dared to come to my town to visit her. I would talk to her together with Fiona the day before so she wouldn't get a heart attack from the news. Robin hadn't tried anything to stop us from seeing her, and maybe he had given up. I tried to tell myself he wanted to do the right thing, but to be honest, I didn't know. It felt like I didn't know him.

Fiona and I looked at Lotti as she fixed coffee for all three of us and searched for some biscuits, but they seemed to have disappeared, in some sort of way. She was a bit confused that day but still in a good mood, and me and Fiona waited patiently on her to not destroy the good mood. She needed to be calm to be able to hear that her youngest son was still alive.

“I don't need any biscuits; I think just coffee sounds great!” Said Fiona optimistically to not make Lotti sad.

“Yeah, same,” said I, so Lotti would sit down with us. She gave us a bit of a bothered look but accepted what we had said and sat down by the little table with us and took a sip of her coffee. I looked at Fiona to have permission to talk, and she gave me a nod. She had never heard anything like Eric's story before, so neither she knew the best way to do it.

“Lotti, I am here to tell you something, something great, really, really great but strange,” I began and smiled nervously. She looked at me with a bright smile, like she thought I would tell her I had a bottle of wine in my handbag.

“Eric, Eric is alive and wants to see you.”

Lotti stared at me, then turned towards Fiona with an upset face; she probably wondered if I was lying.

“It's true, Lotti,” said Fiona, who had talked with Eric over a video call.

I could see how Lotti's face changed in slow motion from anger and confusion to laughing in disbelief.

“What are you saying? Are you trying to give a sick lady a heart attack?” She said with a laugh while wiping away tears with a plaid handkerchief. I took her other hand in mine and smiled at her.

“Eric is alive, Lotti.”

“But Robin..?” The emotions swam in her eyes, and I could also see disappointment, like she knew Robin had lied. I just nodded a little; she got to interpret that however she wanted, but she didn't seem to have time to because she laughed and cried in a beautiful mix of emotion.

“But where is he then??”

“He's at my place. We thought you maybe needed some time-”

“Time?! You say my son is alive, and you think I need time to calm down?? I need to see him! I'm his mother! I should see him now!”

Now Lotti sounded angry, and Fiona patted her shoulder a little.

“Delilah, maybe you can tell him to come, while Lotti, you can rest a bit on the bed?”

“Rest?! I want to see my son!”

“Lotti,” said Fiona, giving her a strict look. “This is a big thing, so you should be rested when Eric comes here, right? So he can see you at your best.”

Lotti looked irritated and wiped away some more angry tears, but then listened to Fiona and went to bed.

Seeing Eric in the reception of Lotti's home was surreal even for me, and it seemed so even for Fiona. She looked at him up and down like she really was seeing a ghost, but she also smiled a little embarrassed when he took off his long coat and showed off muscular tattooed arms in a black t-shirt that also hinted about the rest of his fit body. I smiled big with every positive feeling in my body but also to calm Eric down, who looked so worried.

“Sometimes you're the only thing she talks about... She has been angry at me now because she can't wait,” said Fiona with a giggle. It felt like she acted differently in front of Eric, and to make things a little more clear, I took Eric's hand in mine. He smiled nervously at Fiona and then at me but didn't say anything. I knew talking to new people wasn't his thing and especially not when he was nervous.

“I’ll go in and see if she's ready,” said Fiona, and Eric gave her a little smile.

When we were alone, he leaned down to kiss my lips, then rested his forehead against mine. I laid my hands on his cheeks and breathed deeply together with him.

“I'm so fucking nervous... It feels like I will throw up…”

“It's Lotti. Your mom, no one else, you will feel better at once when you have seen her.”

He nodded and moved away from me so he could smile at me. I smiled back brightly, high on love, and fixed his hair and played a little with his dagger earring.

“You're so handsome.”

He shrugged his shoulders but kissed me with a smile. I let our tongues say hello a couple of times before I giggled into his mouth.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Most in the entire world.” He whispered and kissed me again.

I left them alone to have their meeting to themselves. Just like I most often wanted Eric to myself, I knew Lotti felt the same. Eric was everything, after all.

×××

Epilogue

Mine and Eric's lives changed drastically after he and Lotti had a relationship again. He wanted to be close to her as much as he could, so after a couple of months, he moved into my apartment. Robin fled from us to another town but still visited his mother. Odin became mine and Eric's dog. It wasn't anything we discussed; it just happened.

My mom succeeded in finding a job for Eric. He was skeptical at first when he heard it was at a daycare and couldn't understand how my mom could feel that was a good idea, but after just a few months, he went from being an extra staff member to getting himself established employment. The whole thing was so sweet, and sometimes I just went by the daycare to see him play in the sand with the kids or have three of them climb his long limbs.

Life was good for thirteen months, without really any big problems, but then Eric's beloved mother had another stroke and left us without a warning. It led to Eric getting depressed again, but with a stronger, better safety net, he didn't fall down the hole with drugs, but he still ended up sleeping for weeks and weeks while I tried to encourage him to do something instead, but he didn't listen. He just wanted to sleep.

It was a sunny March day, and he finally wanted to leave the apartment. He had lost a lot of his muscles and was a skinnier version of himself. He had moved to the couch from the bed a couple of weeks before but now felt so good he even smiled when we spoke.

“Do you want company?” I asked while he put on his running gear. He shook his head with a smile.

“I just want to clear out my head; I can take Odin, though.”

He gave me a peck on the lips when he had tied his shoes, and I gave him several more after that. He smiled at me and then buried his nose in my neck.

“I can make tartar tonight.”

“Really?” I said excitedly and lifted his head so I could look at his smiling face.

“Yeah, with your help and a better alcoholic-free wine than the last time.”

He didn't even drink anymore, and I glowed with pride when he said it. He had made so much progress. But life has a tendency to break when it is finally good. I wasn't even worried when Eric left our home with Odin. I had been that in the beginning of our relationship, but now I felt sure he wouldn't do anything crass; the only thing I didn't think about was that there were also things like bad luck.

The first thing I noticed was that he was out running for a longer time than usual, but I thought he probably just needed some more time in the fresh air. When he had been out two and a half hours, I started to think about calling him, but it was then an unknown number called me. I thought about not answering, but something made me do it anyway. I regretted at once doing it because the thing they said was nothing I wanted to hear. I knew something had happened as soon as they said they were calling from the hospital and wondered about my relationship with Eric.

“I'm his fiancee; has something happened?” I said worriedly and held on to a chair in front of me. I rarely called myself his fiancee because it sounded a bit silly to me, but I was, he had proposed to me in the October sun, at a farmer's market. It was spontaneous, like he often was, but straight from the heart. He didn't have a ring, so we bought one together instead. I didn't care that he couldn't afford one by himself; that wasn't important.

“We want you to come down here; it's good if you bring a friend with you,” said the nurse.

“What happened??” I asked, upset because that sentence made it seem like something was really, really wrong.

“Eric has been in an accident, but it's best if you come down here instead.”

I started to cry on the phone because if it was good, or at least if there was hope, they would have told me.

I brought Desiree with me, who came and got me in her car. I just cried and cried in panic while she tried to say it was probably not as bad as I thought, but it felt like not even she believed it. At the hospital, they took me to a similar room I had spoken with Fiona in. Desiree hugged my hand in hers because now she couldn't pretend it wasn’t worse than it was.

“Eric came in with a gunshot wound in his chest an hour ago. He had stepped in and tried to stop a fight between some teenage boys without knowing one of them was armed… We did everything we could to stop the bleeding, but... I'm sorry, but he didn't survive.”

…

How do you react when the love of your life gets taken away from you so fast? How do you react when they tell you how unfair life is?

Eric had come jogging with Odin in one of the rougher parts of town. He didn't think much about it because he had always been in those sorts of areas and people had respect for him. He was tall and built and tattooed in a way that made some believe he was in a gang.

The teenagers were just fifteen, and in his eyes it looked like kids having a fist fight. Other people let them fight; they either didn't care or didn't have the courage to do something, not even when one of the boys lay on the ground, getting kick after kick towards his head and neck. Eric acted on impulse. Fear was nothing that held him back, and if he thought something was wrong, he would jump in, so he did. People around saw how calm he was, how he acted like a safe grown up and got the kids to move away, everyone except one who acted just as impulsive as Eric.

It was his older brother's gun. He had brought it to be cool, but he fired it when he felt powerless, shooting Eric in the chest once and Odin in the neck twice. People around just looked at the mess for several minutes while Eric disappeared slowly from the world. Odin had left it behind at once. My fiance lay several minutes without receiving help until a young couple ran up to them, even if the boy still held the weapon pointed towards Eric. The boy was in shock, seeing the grown man on the ground fighting for his life. Another man succeeded in taking the gun, and others around called 911, but their help was too little, too late.

Eric died in the ambulance. He never even saw the harsh light of the emergency room.

How do you react when a kind soul as Eric dies while he tries to do good? How do you react when someone who has fought his whole life dies in such an awful way?

They showed me his body. They had tried to make the room look nice with dimmed light and him lying on a covered observation table, but it couldn't be nice because then they showed me Eric's lifeless face, pale and relaxed. His face had changed because of the relaxed muscles. He looked much softer but still so regal with his high cheekbones.

How do you react to seeing the man you love not breathing? How do you react when you realize that everything the people have said is true?

Eric didn't exist anymore. The light had left his eyes, his voice just living inside of me. The magic was gone forever, and I was left behind. My whole little unit disappeared on the same day. My fiance and our dog. My whole life. I didn't have a life anymore.

×××

I didn't cry after leaving the hospital. A numbness took over—a feeling of resignation. Crying was for people who were cleansing, that tried to move on, I wouldn't move on. Tears were a relief, making tension disappear. I didn't need that. I didn't have any tensions, I wasn't scared, and I wasn't vindictive because I didn't have a future. I was just as dead as Eric.

I could feel everyone around me staring. I just sat on the couch, looking straight forward. Even Robin stretched a hand out but I didn't give him any response. My family thought about calling the psychiatric hospital but let it be, they thought I would come out of the daze I was in. They were wrong, so wrong. It wasn't even a daze; it was my reality. They believed I was stuck in grief, but I had left all earthly feelings behind. They lay forgotten on the hospital floor.

If there is nothing left for you at the party, you should leave it; you will have it better at home. I needed home again—Eric's warm embrace.

If my family knew what I was thinking, they would have taken me to a hospital, but it wouldn't really matter. It was too late. I would have done it anyway.

They had taken me to my parents house so I could live there. They thought I just needed love and comfort, but I couldn't even understand what they tried to do because I wasn't there; I just searched for an exit. They didn't believe I would go out in the dead of night in my trance-like state. I already had found my exit. I didn't have time to spill; I needed to go to Eric.

The exit was at the central station, the trains came all hours of the day, even in the dead of the night. It was easy. My party was over, and I needed to come home to Eric. It was easy.

…

I recognized the place at once. I had been there many times—oh, so many times. I was at my old street again, by the playground. It wasn't as dark as it had been the last time I was there; all the streetlights were on, and the sky shifted in a warm peach color. The sun was on its way up. I looked around, seeing if there was someone there; it was, I heard a loud bark. I recognized that bark so well, and it made me shiver in comfort. I laughed when Odin came running, and I sat down on the ground to let him give me a proper hello. While he licked my neck, I heard footsteps in the gravel. I wouldn't even need to look up to know who it was, but why wouldn't I want to do that? I stood up and looked at my tall fiance standing there, looking like he did in the prime of his life. His cheeks were a bit rosy from the coldness in the park, but still he just wore a black t-shirt with his khaki cargo pants.

“Hey,” he said with a warm smile, and I threw myself around his neck at once, without even thinking. His warm embrace caught me. I was home again. He laughed a little and then kissed me. I couldn't stop, and when we had started, we let it become a make-out session. I giggled into the kisses, and I could feel him smile.

“Did you get to decide on a meeting place again? Fuck, I thought it was my turn now!”

I laughed and dragged my fingers through the hair in his neck.

“So you remember this place?”

“Yeah, from when I was in the coma. I didn't remember the girl's face though, but it was you… the whole time.” He hugged my waist while looking me deep my eyes.

“I never dared to tell you about my dreams; I would have sounded like a stalker.”

“More than you already did, you mean?” He teased, and I hit him playfully on the arm, but then we laughed together. He gave me a soft kiss but then looked at me seriously.

“You shouldn't have taken your life, babe. You had so much to live for.”

He looked sad, but I wasn't really. I felt bad for my family, but I wasn't sad; I was with Eric.

“I think it was meant to be. Here we are, the three of us again-”

“Four.”

“Hm?”

He pointed to a light pole, and I looked up at it where Crow sat, looking down at us.

“He has guided me back two times; I know he will guide me away today. To my parents.”

I looked at him seriously.

“And I will follow you wherever you go.”

Eric looked at me examining with big green eyes. The mesmerizing eyes. He nodded and looked up at Crow.

“I love you most in the entire world, you know," I said with a giggle and took his hand in mine. He smiled at me and kissed my hand.

“And I love you most in the entire world and wherever we will go!” He said it playfully. I giggled, because I wasn't afraid. Eric looked at Odin, then at Crow. The bird made a caw and lifted his wings. I knew that was the signal, and when Crow lifted from the light pole, all three of us followed him towards the sun.

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #fan fiction #writing #story #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #fiction #the crow #eric

68 notes · View notes