#i still have more to do

[trashfactorysstuff]

Some live action drawings + silly Ozai

[strangengl]

little art style study (faces) + girl doodle to end the night :•)

—————————————

artist comments :

- when in doubt, cover face w hair

- push those facial features around…

- everyone needs eyelashes

notes to self:

- PLEASE work on those teeths and open mouths…

- ear placement. PLEASE.

+ if my bias for round faces wasn’t clear enough…..

[vizthedatum]

Life is just a little bit more colorful and clearer today - this phenomena has gone up and down over the past year.

This usually happens when I'm feeling at peace with my body and my life. I am very earnestly trying to be more at peace with it all, but I always realize that I can't force peace... if I feel like I'm forcing it, then I'm already out of alignment, and I'm not focusing on the right things.

Last year, I really wanted to be at peace. I fought hard for every single day. I got dressed up more. I did things that I enjoyed. I spent time with loved ones. I had so much fucking sex. I dated probably more than six people - many times, all at the same time. I made it to the majority of my healthcare appointments. I traveled more than I had in the past several years combined. I didn't catch covid again, not even once haha. I read so much more. I pushed myself to keep trying to play games (haven't made that much progress, but today, I did ONE slay the spire run - and I felt great about it) more. I pushed myself to enjoy television and movies again (and I do - I enjoy them quite a bit again!).

But I wasn't at peace. I just really wanted to be.

I had crippling executive dysfunction sometimes, and it was so embarrassing. So many meltdowns. My last move... was not fun for me, even though I love my new apartment. I felt so attacked by the whole fucking world, even though I had so much privilege - I had friends who helped me, I had enough funds/credit to hire a moving service, I found a nice place with all my requirements, etc.

I really wanted to be heard still.

I was so self-critical.

I cut off so many friends - many of whom were really bad for my mental health.

I was a jerk to some people, and I didn't mean to be.

I was rightfully a jerk to some people, and I did mean to be.

--

Life is settling down again, even though I can feel like change is always around the corner. What I mean is... my nervous system feels so much better, but I am still healing.

Last year, I think I wished I could be where I am today.

I was so self-conscious because I could see and hear how people looked and talked about me. I wanted love/care/compassion/understanding, but I didn't want fucking pity or for people to act differently.

I didn't want to be invalidated or infantilized either - what I was going through was immensely hard.

I decided to do everything all at once last year: the unmasking of my neurodivergence, the confrontation with my family (multiple times), the leaving of my very short marriage, other breakups that tore me apart, constantly trying to stand up for myself even though I wanted to jump out of my own skin, FINDING A FUCKING JOB, working side gigs, trying to get divorced as quickly as possible while my ex was just out there being a massive asshole, working on actually feeling and expressing my emotions, trying to be healthier, finding joy in my hobbies...

finding joy and peace again

[foxxteethh]

Fellas

[thetimecrystal]

i was thinking about ordering pizza but now i am too anxious to do so

[hinamie]

trick or treat!

[kb1301]

I love my friends. Seriously the best people.

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.

You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?

Click on their name. And look at their profile.

I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.

"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.

"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.

Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.

Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.

Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.

I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.

Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[astearisms]

catalysts, protectors

[mamawasatesttube]

BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...

[keplerspacecraftofficial]

electing to believe this is what griddlehark looks like to everyone else

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

[pangur-and-grim]

oh. I think my fears about Chiefcake passing from old age were more on point than I realized. she's acting very weak right now.

and it's late on a friday, when all the rabbit-specific vets have closed. I'll call around anyway to see if at home euthanasia is an option tonight.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Soup solves everything.