#i still have every intention of posting here again but just dont have time with work

[todayisafridaynight]

Would You Believe I was studying so I have yet to watch any further... but I 1000% trust your judgment and will resume shortly!

That's the consensus! He sounds really cute :) I think he's just hard on himself. On that note, this ad is the only time I can remember him singing in earnest (this video was one of the first things that marked my descent into madness btw. Kirin... Ichiban... Domestic "Jo"... what's not to love)

Your tag for my asks was #holder until i think of a tag for these asks!

absolutely valid reason to put a pause on watching my impulse control could never 🙏😭☠️ get that knowledge up my guy !!

ok but help i've actually had kirin ichiban a few times (i remember blogging about it here every time i did vlkaejvlkej), this is a real cute commercial though 😷😷 (even if it does make me hungry.. ironically speaking.. cause its meant to sell me the damn beer--)

[nereidprinc3ss]

behave

in which fem!reader REALLY wants spencer's attention while he's working

18+ (no smut but sex is talked about) warnings: mentions of sex, spencer grabs readers wrist to stop her from doing something but its not violent, reader is referred to as a girl, no use of y/n, um i think that's it WC: 870 a/n: i have damn near 40 pages of spencer WIP so im biting the bullet and posting some of it. also.. if you want a plot... babe this is not the place for you im sorry... ive never even heard of a plot actually. i dont know about rising and falling action... i dont believe in that. it sounds fake

It feels like Spencer has been at his desk for hours. 

And for hours you've been lounging on the couch, reading your book in silence so as to let him work. But you're becoming... antsy. Impatient. Every time you drop your book and stare at him, willing your white-hot gaze to draw his attention; nothing. He just keeps shuffling papers, signing, writing, reading reading reading. 

At ten, you give up.  

You make a show of slamming your book shut, sighing, slowly sitting up, stretching, standing, stretching again--when you turn your head, expecting your little performance to have at least earned a look from him; still, nothing. 

"Spence?" you ask, innocuously, as you round the couch and draw toward him carefully, slowly, on light feet. A display of faux innocence. It’s not that you intend to bother him, per se--you're just so bored. 

He hums in response, eyes still glued to his work as he searches for something among the mess of paper. 

You come to a stop in front of the mahogany desk, tracing the edge of it idly with wandering fingertips. 

"What are you looking at?" you ask, in reference to a photo he seems to now be studying intently.  

"Nothing you need to see," is his muttered response, quickly flipping the photo face down on the desk and picking up a form walled in migraine-inducing tiny black text. You watch the way he scans the paper, brow knitted, and eyes squinted, clearly not paying you very much attention. 

You move languidly around the desk, letting the wood drag against your hip the whole way, before reaching for the overturned photo--just to see what he'll do. 

Spencer catches your wrist, his grip gentle and warm but not without portent. "What did I just say, grabby?" 

Sadly, they're the most words you've gotten out of him since this afternoon. 

You sigh dramatically and drape yourself across his lap, looping your arms around his neck. To your initial satisfaction he shifts slightly to accommodate you--and then continues to look over your shoulder like he hardly notices the pretty girl on top of him. 

"When will you be done?" you purr, tracing his jaw with a finger.

"I'll be done when I'm done." 

God, he can be stubborn. 

"Can you be done any sooner than that?" 

"What do you think I'm going to say to that," comes his flat reply, still not sparing you a glance. You watch enviously as his eyes dart down the paper he's reading over your shoulder.  

"Then I'm staying right here until you're finished." 

"You can stay here if you can behave." 

You scoff, bunching the fabric on the back of his shirt in your fists. "What do you mean, if I can behave?" 

Finally, you hear Spencer set down his pen, and he leans back in his chair to regard you. His gaze finally on you is like an ice bath. You literally have to repress the urge to shiver under his evaluation; the slightly raised eyebrows, the line of his mouth a little harder than usual. His 'you know exactly what I'm talking about so don't play dumb' look. 

For a few tense seconds, you let your eyes dart between his, not wanting to break first. Unfortunately, you think that look of his could freeze saltwater.  

"Fine," you mutter, flushing when you look down at his shirt collar instead. If you're being reasonable, he probably is doing something important. You drag your gaze back up to his and see that his eyes have softened. 

"Thank you," he says, gentler, squeezing your leg before running his hand over it back and forth a few times. "I know I'm not being very fun today. When I'm done we can do whatever you want to do." 

The urge to say, 'whatever I want to do?' is strong, but you manage to bite your tongue as he reaches back over you to continue his work. Instead, you content yourself to lean against him, allowing his solidity and warmth to envelop you for some immeasurable stretch of time.  

Rain starts up, battering the windowpane and accented by deep rolls of thunder. The scratch of Spencer's pen on paper, the rustle of files, and the scent of patchouli and amber begins to lull you into a doze--a comfortable place between awake and asleep. It's the kind of comatose unconsciousness that bends and liquifies time, and you don’t even realize you fell asleep until you’re waking up. 

Spencer murmurs your name, brushing your hair carefully out of your face. "Did you fall asleep, angel?" His voice is soft, just above a whisper.  

"Mhm," you groan, rubbing your eyes. "How long has it been?" 

"A few hours," he sighs. "That file took a lot longer than it should have, I'm sorry." 

You're still bleary as you speak next; 

"The thing was sex." 

"What?" he laughs, rubbing your leg as you adjust yourself in his lap. 

"You said we could do whatever I wanted to do when you were done, and it was sex. But now I'm tired." 

"Let's get you to bed," he begins, "and revisit the sex idea in the morning. Does that work for you?" 

You smile against his shirt, eyes already fluttering closed again. 

"Mhm..." 

[catatombi]

beware of fang

Hey, im gonna say it outright and state that this is a call out. people get called out for being dangerous. fangs nearly pushed 3 people to commit suicide(including myself) and i had to be hospitalized because of him, so this feels justified. Im sorry if you disagree, ill keep it short and to the point If you’ve been a long time follower of his im sure you’ve seen his vague posts about his ex friends, the cotl tumblr community and “fandom drama” with little to no context behind it, other than various people appearing on his DNI. his vague nature in the posts is intentional, he doesn't want to let on that he was abusing his friends. Ive tried time and time again to write something but it never seemed right, like what he’s done to me and my friends wasn’t severe enough to warrant something like this, but it is and i don't want to let this go any longer, esp not when he has my friends, their names, usernames and literal contact information in his DNI list Over the last year ive been friends with fang hes been horrible. Hes never changed and refuses to acknowledge what hes done to his friends and how horribly he has hurt them, to keep this short im keeping this bullet pointy Here is his carrd, he has everything neatly outlined for yall to block on every platform Dont harass, dont contact. all of this is public information so https://web.archive.org/web/20240713073710/https://fanged-info.carrd.co/#boundaries

https://fanged-info.carrd.co/ Twit: FFANGEDD / narilamb_ / mewhenimsilly Insta: ffangedd / narilamb Tumblr: ffangedd / fanged-cotl / fanged-xeno Cara: narilamb Blusky: fanged / narilamb Itaku: fanged Artfight: FANGED Toyhouse: FFANGEDD Sheezy: fanged Discord & telegram: narilamb All the people mentioned have given consent Cw !!! abuse, suicide, self harm https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG

The drive is a bit out of date, as I logged it all before april. Hes posted more awful shit and vented to me again since then Feel free to request the letter i wrote to him, i might share it anyway because it sums up my thoughts on the matter If you want any additional context feel free to ask

Fang uses suicide and self harm threats to control and manipulate his friends, hes begged me for assisted suicide and when i refused to help him commit he begged in groupchats. He begged on instagram stories as well as twitter, so much so that his twitter for suspended for 12 hours. He has admitted to wanting someone to commit suicide with him and has previously formed suicide pacts and nearly followed through on one with a friend. fang backed out first. he continues to redirect blame. refusing to take accountability for his actions. He still blames his previous medications, his ex psychiatrist, his self diagnosed BPD & OCD, psychosis, and states of beings from disorders he doesn't have (claiming to be manic or sociopathic whilst not having bipolar1 or ASPD) fang blames his (ex)friends, claiming they were projecting their mental illness onto him when they were just reacting to his abuse, that they the ones in the wrong and that how they treated him/cut him off was vile and unfair, and believes that he never got real closure when he did. it just wasn't what he wanted to hear and now feels entitled to an apology from these people when all he’s ever done is traumatize and terrorize them. He describes the amount in which he has cut over pavi, wart and kat because what they put him through and how they traumatized him. The traumatizing actions were: Kat asking for a content warning, pavi didn't want to walk on eggshells anymore and blocked him without an explanation & wart blocked him after being emotionally abused for months Hes described how he would carve their names into his thigh and told me that he will carve my name into his skin when i leave too. He demanded wart and surf choose their “real friends” and cut off their community for him because fang hated that they were being “two-faced” and hanging out with “people who hate him” He would spend hours venting relentlessly and graphically in his friends DMs, demanding their time and attention and expecting immediate replies. His friends are not professionals and shouldnt be expected to be an on-call DIY therapist for him, for hours, without consent. Fang has said he is completely unwilling to self censor for other peoples safety fang has vented to a 13 year old (they were not hiding their age) He referred to me (and our friends) as a phone person, a voice, icons. Concepts he can talk. Completely dehumanizing everyone that cared about him even to their faces. He blames his ex friends for his poor mental health and has said he wishes they watched him commit suicide, he wanted his friends to be traumatized from this (as if they werent already.) When a friend posted a screenshot of a gamenight to tumblr he had a breakdown so severe and so dangerous for so long that several of his friends has to mute the DM to keep themselves safe from his verbal abuse and suicide/SH threats He doesn't care about how triggering any of this can be for someone and will subject anyone (including people in danger) to his “venting” He didnt care about triggering me and contacted me at the worst of my suicidality in january and exasperated the danger i was in so severely I had to be hospitalized against my will before I could commit suicide. 

Im honestly not entirely sure what to even think. he knew the severity of my suicidality. he knew I had been hospitalized for an attempt in 2022, and still he chose me, probably the most vulnerable of his friends at the time to vent that heavily too back in janurary Hes a dangerous selfish person whos proven over and over that hes not getting better and isnt willing to change, i honestly had hope when he slowed down his graphic vent posts and victim blaming on twitter and insta but he decided to say fuck all and get right back into his shit train of shame and misery. Heres a link to all of the screenshot, damning ones are in important bitz if you’re not interested in going through them all https://drive.google.com/drive/u/2/folders/1MLMOT-qvgrX-9NnUEgpl4AkEPfixy2wG in these screens alone he: admits to sending his cuts to his friends, threatens to cut if i leave, admits that he was going to go through with a duel suicide and begged me for assisted suicide

warts screenshots v

full screenshots & complete context in the drive as for him claims that i was stalking him: i was scared, i was his friend. i tried so hard to be good enough and never was. the screens were a by product of confiding in my friends about what was happening and the drive was made to share w/ them i admit i prolly shouldve combed out some of it but, ykno also big phat apology for tagging cotl!!!!! only did bc fang has, please stay safe everyone, and thank you so much if you have read everything (the doc encase anyone was wanting it ! figured i;d just use tumblr regular posting method) https://docs.google.com/document/d/17QjXUEdQVd8c4GZS--vPo-xR3kgmoLl4ZmN3ROMutg0/edit?usp=sharing

edit as of 8:30pm 7/17/24 here is a link to pavi's response warts response and kats response

[81folklore]

older - LECLERC

pairings: charles leclerc x male!singer!reader (fc: luke hemmings)

summary: singer yn ln releases a love song with his boyfriend, and the public are not prepared for who it is about

authors note: this has been on my mind for SO LONG. i honestly dont like how many fics ive been doing on the same people (charles, lando etc) but whenever i go to start a new one on my list for someone else i think of something that i have to do😭 also in this reader is not a part of 5sos but close friends with the 3, wfttwtaf is readers album and older is exclusivly the readers song

authors note 2: i wanted to quickly clarify i am NOT speculating that charles or luke are gay/queer and this is not my intentions. luke obviously sings older and i find it easier to visualise it this way, while the reader in this is male, this could also be read as gn!reader. this is FICTION please do not tkae this as me speculating anything

authors note 3: i didnt really know what i was doing with this so its kind of all over the place and very rushed :/ but then again when arent my smau all over the place?? also can you tell i hate writing comments by the way i just dont😭

masterlist

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, ashtonirwin and 818,937 others

we started this song together back in 2020 and picked it back up at the end of 2022

'Older' was originally a voice memo of a 50’s-style love song that we wrote together, then forgot about. when thinking of concepts for my debut album i stumbled across the memo and fell in love with it all over again, but i put it aside yet again as to me, it deserved more than the album

the song has changed a lot from the original voice memo, but the meaning has stayed the same throughout. despite all the beauty, the ups and downs of a long-term relationship over many years, there’s inevitably going to be the worst moment of your love because one of you is going to lose each other

capturing those feelings in a song was tricky but ultimately we wrote from the heart and i think it shows in the song itself

this has always been a song between us, so having him play on this song was very importnt to me and im glad he said yes

older is now yours

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yourusername

liked by landonorris, calumhood and 1,727,338 others

im very pleased to announce a very special one off show at the Royal Albert Hall in London this November 18th. I will be playing a bunch of tracks from my debut album and may be joined to play some others aswell! Tickets on sale this monday at 10 am BST. Lots of love always, yn x

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yourusername

liked by 5sos, charles_leclerc and 2,719,936 others

thank you for an incredible night at the royal albert hall

looking back at the best night of my life, i need to thank each and every one of you who allowed this dream to come true, i will never be able to thank you guys enough

performing in my dream venue, with my favorite people in the world was something i never thought was possible and yet here i am, writing this still on my high from last night

thank you to my friends; michael, ashton and calum who took the time to come to london and perform their songs with me, thank you for always loving me and agreeing to my crazy ideas

to my team and everyone who worked to make this night as special as it could be, thank you. thank you for making my htoughts a reality and making this night as wonderful as possible

thank you to the staff who worked throughout the show to make sure everyone was safe, well and looked after. you truly do not get as much credit as you deserve and i apreciate the hard work you put in to keep everyone happy

thank you to those who joined me, i wish each and every one of you who wanted to could have been there. thank you for singing along and listening to me pour my heart and soul into my music

thank you for letting me do this x

view comments

user55: not the pcd hitting already☹️

user1: and im supposed to pretend i didnt see yn and 5sos perform os/co??

user89: CHARLES?? YN IS DATING CHARLES??

user91: AND HE CAME ON STAGE?? AND THEY PERFORMED OLDER??

user50: i cant believe i saw this all happen live

user47: THANK YOU TO WHOEVER WAS RUNING THE GRAINY LIVESTREAM I OWE YOU MY LIFE🧎🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

ashtonirwin: thank you for everything yn. youre a real life angel

user16: NO CHARLES MENTION??

user9: BESTIE HE HAS A WHOLE POST

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, michaelclifford and 3,619,273 others

after having time to process this show, I feel so overcome with gratefulness. my music means so much to me and seeing so many people resonate with it in a live space was so special for me.

charlie, my life would literally fall apart without you and this would have never happened without you giving me the confidence to do so, i hold so much love and admiration for you

thank you for joining me on such a special night and performing our song with me, thank you for sticking with me through it all and thank you for allowing me to share this part of my life with you

i sometimes wonder where i would be if i didnt find you, if i wasnt blessed with your love. i try to think about the times before you, before us, but both feel impossible to do after feeling your love

life with you is so special and i promise to always cherish and love you

merci de m'avoir laissé vieillir avec toi, merci de m'avoir laissé t'adorer, merci de m'avoir choisi (thank you for letting me get old with you, thank you for letting me adore you, thank you for choosing me)

yn x

tagged: charles_leclerc

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charles_leclerc: mon ange, je t'aimerai toujours (my angel, I will always love you)

charles_leclerc: je suis tellement privilégiée d'être celle que tu aimes🤍🤍 (I'm so privileged to be the one you love)

yourusername: vieillir avec toi ne semble pas si effrayant🖤🖤 (growing old with you doesn't seem so scary)

[plleeeepppyyyy]

I absolutely adore your Wally fanfics!

If it’s alright with you, can you make a slightly jealous Wally fic? Again, it’s okay if you don’t want to, but if you do, here’s how it would go—

You’ve been hanging around with Barnaby, Julie, Frank, Poppy, Sally, Eddie, and Howdy quite often. Usually it’s because some of them request help, or it’s because they just want to hang out with you!

Unfortunately, this comes at the (slight) dismay of Wally. At first, he’s delighted you’re making friends with the others, or at least getting to know them better. But as time goes on, hanging out with him is less and less— of course, you still try to MAINTAIN hangouts with him, but it seems that fate dislikes him so! Every time you’re just having the best fun with him, someone has to come and take you away.

(Like say Frank needs you to catch butterflies with him just when you and Wally are drawing, or Eddie needs your help delivering packages.)

Either way, it makes Wally more jealous.

How he deals with it is all up to you! Again, if you want to write this, I hope I provided enough detail for you to base a story off of this! :)!!

iiiii think i accidentally made wally a bit more than slightly jealous? its really fun to write him being jelly ngl!! it was really fun to write this, ٥(¯ ³¯)

i also made him a bit (maybe too) rude to julie,, so sorry julie! :(

(i also would’ve posted this earlier but i had a busy day, sorry!!!!)

“slightly” jealous wally + reader!

⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂

______

•wally is just so…. happy that everyone wants to hang out with you!! so… happy… (ง'̀-'́)ง

•honestly he’s jealous at times, he’s honestly a very jealous man.

•like dont get wally wrong, he’s happy that you’re getting on great with his friends! it’s just he prefers to have all of your attention on him.

•just him, he wants you all to himself.

•but just as long as you hang around him, it’s perfectly fine—

•no it wasn’t. why’d you stop hanging out with him more? :(

•he doesn’t blame everyone for being excited , after all.. you were y/n. just great, fun, a good person to be around. how could people not stay by you?

•and that’s what wally wanted to do, stay by you.

•even if you guys hang out with the others, his eyes are only on you. like said before, you’re the apple of his eye. his bff, everything, ofc he wants to look at you.

•he notices quickly on that everyone else is just taking ur attention further and further, which makes you more busy and busy to not hang out with him! he’s legit so distraught, he immediately runs to house for some advice.

•like, how can he get your attention more?!

•he’s handsome, he’s entertaining, he’s got like,, everything, why do you pay more attention to his friends more than him?

•you guys could just be sitting around sketching, as wally watches you intently, someone has to come up and poof! you’re being whisked away..

•okay, he feels a bit guilty thinking of his friends in a not so friendly manner. but they keep taking you away from him! you were supposed to be his!

•he’s also kinda in his delulu arc,, he makes himself feel better that you’re just busy! ofc you want to hang out with him! you like wally, he likes you! literally he keeps trying to convince himself that everyday you’re just YEARNING to be with him 24/7. (like he is with you.) wally also convinced himself he is justified for feeling this way. i mean, you’re his best friend, he didn’t go all this way to bring you back just for you to be distracted from him.

•if one of the neighbors like for instance,, barnaby come up to you while you and wally are spending time together beautifully and grabs you away,, he’s so heartbroken. like don’t go! :( barnaby’s jokes can wait!

•as patient as wally can be, he gets a bit snarky.!(not a bit, a LOT) literally if frank comes up to you asking for help with something, wally spews out a quiet sassy comment. he’s so passive aggressive. as you ask him what he said, he turns to you with the most innocent face ever and says, “nothing, darling!🫶” (lies,,)

•you know how elmo got passive aggressive if rocko and susie? that is wally, elmo is wally..

•if sally walks up to you guys, wally will legit glare at her and be like, “hello sally.” and just eyeing her. like WALLY??? are you okay? 😭

•he can get SO desperate for you to stay with him, he comes up with every excuse in the book. he’s on the brink of grabbing you and just running away. he’s very on the verge of going on his knees of begging.

•he’s honestly like a dog who cannot live without your attention for a second. it makes everyone else so confused, like why is wally being so clingy to you?

•if you ever notice the snarky comments he’s been making and call him out on it. he apologizes and comes up with an excuse. that he was stressed; whatnot.. well,, it wasn’t a lie.

•if anything he’s starting to envy his friends, which is something he wouldn’t want to happen. but, if they keep taking him away from him. sometimes he just gets frustrated. you’re his bff!

•just as things start to get great, someone has to swoop on in and snatch you. he wants you to look at him and him only at times.

•hell, he even getz a bit jealous of barnaby! his other bff, even if you both hang out with him, he still gets a bit jealous.

•as he is left there alone as you go help howdy with his shop, he just thinks to himself. why can’t you stay by him? you’re supposed to be friends, the best of friends! doesn’t howdy have four arms? what did he need help with? it should be him getting attention from you, its just not fair. why?

•he literally is on the verge of breaking down as he goes back to home miserably. wally legit starts ranting again to home, what is he doing wrong? he rants a lot to the point where tears of frustration are clouding his eyes. why is he upset over you? no, you were his best friend, he had every right to be mad.

•just as he kept ranting, his telephone rang. it was you!

•finally you were able to give him at least some attention, and he could hear your lovely voice.. (attention starved i swear,,)

•you apologize to him for leaving, that stuff was just getting busier, but then offered to hang out with him.

•of course he said yes!! he felt excited, but it dawned on him. how was he going to keep you to himself? where it was just you and him.

•simple, just be stern.

•this time, he was going to keep you right, beside him. :)

_____________

“again, i’m sorry i’ve been so busy lately. its as if i’m just a celebrity here, huh?” you chuckled, it was a normal day. sunny, nice, and it was just you and wally. walking around, trying to find something to do.

“hah, you could say that.. it’s okay though, y/n. i’m just glad we have time together. especially now.” wally hummed in happiness, he wouldn’t lie. he was really happy. you sighed and nodded, you couldn’t but feel bad.

it was if you kept leaving wally behind, so you might as well give him some time too, right?

“yeah, me too. i’ll try to be around you more, of course if you want it.”

wally wanted it, definitely, it was like he couldn’t live without even talking to you for a day.

“mhm, i’d very much like that.” he nodded, finally some time to be alone with just you. no one else.

“i’ve been feeling bad for just leaving you by yourself, and..” you sighed and shook your head, clearly thinking as wally looked at you.

“wally i really want to have more time with you. thanks for being understanding about this whole thing.. don’t get me wrong, i like how your friends are so welcoming!” wally winced at the “welcoming” part, if anything they were too welcoming. but he listened on.

“it’s just.. sometimes they leave me barely any time to just hang out with you, you know? and for sure in the future, i’ll be sure to give you some attention.” you said in confidence, seemingly determined as you grabbed his hands.

which made wally a bit taken back, wow.. did you really felt this determined to make it up to him? he felt so happy at this fact and held your hands back.

“well, thank you.. y/n. i know it’s out of your control, since you are so exciting to be around. i guess people can’t help themselves but be around you.” he huffed jokingly.

“you’re a good friend though, y/n. i really appreciate you being this considerate.” wally smiled at you, which made you feel a bit better about the whole situation. you hummed and shook both of his hands, then let go. despite wally’s disappointment.

“yeah, of course! don’t wanna make you feel left out.. hey, you wanna go?—“ as you were about to finish your question, both of you heard julie. much to wally’s dismay.

again?

“heyyyy y/n! hiya wally!” julie hummed as she skipped over to both of you. wally glared at her ever so slightly as he looked at you, you were smiling. maybe out of kindness? manners?

he felt his heart sink a bit, “oh, hi julie! what’s up?” you greeted as wally stared directly at julie. if she even tried to steal you away this time..

“sooo, uhm, i need some help with something.” she sighed as she poked your cheek lightly, seemingly a bit shy.

“uhm, what is it?” you asked, wally kept looking at julie. practically serving knives right into her, as bad it would make him feel afterwards. he couldn’t just have you go away, not again, not now. you were his today. nothing was going to change that. home even agreed that you should give wally more time!

as wally begged internally for you to not go away again, julie explained her situation.

“so, i was gonna do this surprise for poppy, but i really need some help with some suggestions. could you—?” as julie was about to continue, wally quickly grabbed your hand and tugged you close.

“ah, sorry, julie! y/n’s a bit busy with me today, why don’t you ask someone else?” wally asked, if you listened close enough you could almost hear the passive aggressiveness. you and julie were both startled as wally basically held you. he smiled his usual smile, keeping you close. and tight. to him, you weren’t going anywhere without him.

“uhm, but it’ll only take a bit, i swear!—“ wally quickly shot her down and glared at her, his smile slightly faltering. “ask someone else. they promised to stay with me, right y/n?” wally said sternly. he looked at you, you were a bit taken back. a little flustered, yet confused.

“uhm, well, i did..” you mumbled back, you were a bit taken back as well. she seemed to be a bit scared and pitiful. “oh, uh, okay.. sorry for bothering you two. my bad!” she sighed and gave you both a pity smile, as if she was a bit embarrassed.

“it’s fine— uhm,” wally let go of your hand and smiled at you, “anyways, what place were you going to say, y/n?” you paused and looked at julie. feeling a bit bad as she looked around, backing up a bit.

“uh, that one cafe i talked about a couple days ago! remember?.” you stammered out, wally nodded and smiled at you. “lead the way then!”

you paused and nodded, mouthing a sorry to julie as you tugged on wally’s cardigan. motioning for him to follow you, you started to walk after you did so. thinking of how weird the interaction you just had.

wally lingered a bit and whispered to julie up close, “sorry julie.. but they’re mine.” he smiled at her, the way he mumbled to her made her confused. a bit embarrassed as well. what did he mean by that, you can’t just..

“for today at least, you know how it is.” wally winked and walked away, julie looked at him. a bit confused, no really confused. is wally okay? why was he being rude? she sighed sorrowfully and made her way, maybe someone else could help her.

you looked back a bit as you were paused in your steps, what did wally say to julie that made her run away? you felt really bad for that encounter, why would wally do that?

wally caught up to you and took your hand, “sorry if i was a bit.. stern to julie. she just.. needed to back off a bit, you know?” he assured you, you looked at him with confusion.

but you nodded, holding his hand back. “uh, you’re right.. i did promise you that i was yours today. huh?” you asked him. you decided to try to least not be too tense today at least. it was the least you could do for wally.

he nodded and kept his grip on your hand tight enough. adoring at the statement you recalled.

yes, you were his today.

and no one was going to change that.

_________________

•over the whole time this is happening he becomes more clingy, more around you. to the point where he just drags you along with him.

•he’s dismissive of his other friends at times too, he focus all on you. he waves eddie off and just listens on what you have to say. which does make him a bit more distant from the neighbors.

•even over the time, he gets more jealous and slightly more convictive, snarky, and just overall mean. in fact if you didn’t reprimand him for those comments he could’ve been way rude. it still makes him feel a bit bad too, those are also his friends. yet he’s just being rude. he can’t help it but feel annoyed though..

•he is trying to work on himself be less rude, to the point where he went to you and talked about it.

•you, being an understanding person thankfully, offered to help him out. make him less tense, jealous, and whatnot.

•and with your help, he does get better with his jealousy issues too! which makes him glad, it def gets him out of his delulu arc too.

•at times though, the thought of jealousy comes up.

•even if he tries to calm down, he can’t help but feel it. the emotions spring up at times.

•wally is still jealous nonetheless, and even if it is an ugly thing. it won’t go away for him. he just appreciates you so much, that’s what friends do, right?

⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂⁂

ackjjj,, okay went a bit overboard ngl. but writing a jealous wally is just fun ! (￣▽￣)

thanks to anon for givin me some stuff to work with too, you got some good writing ideas!!(•̀ᴗ•́)و

yet again; sorry for posting this one later than usual! days are getting a little busy for me, but i’m definitely trying to get all of these requests done!

i also realized how much traction my clumsy and silly reader fic is gettin too, so thanks for that! i’m glad my writing is getting somewhere,,´･ᴗ･`

love y’all!!

ミ★

[vividraft]

just one last time ✧˖*°࿐

⇢ ˗ˏˋ gn!assistant!reader x diluc

⇢ ˗ˏˋ summary: dilucs appreciation for you faded, and when he lashes out at you for no particular reason, he immediately regrets it

⇢ ˗ˏˋ important notes: this is a repost from my old account (@/rainstops)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ a/n: i dont like my old posts (cries)

old post master list tba !

another day, another hour, another minute and another second of diluc trying to focus on his work, but no matter how long or how hard he tried, he just could not focus. that was until he heard a knock on the door to his office. 

"come in", he sighed. 

you entered his office, with a cup of coffee in your left hand. 

"you havent left your office in a while, make sure to take breaks every once in a while, diluc", you suggested. you used to call him master diluc, but he insisted that you would just call him diluc. 

"thanks [name]", diluc replied and took the coffee with graditute.

it almost seemed like you always knew exactly what he needed.

so why did it have to come to this?

again, diluc spend hours on end on his paperwork. frustrated, once again. 

and again you were the one knocking on the door.

"come in", he muttered the words. 

when you entered the room, you were met with a diluc who had his face burried in his hands. 

"diluc, are you okay? can i help you with anything? i could-"

"no [name]", he sighed. "just tell me what you need", diluc cut you off. 

"oh well i was just checking up on you, because i know you tend to overwork yourself, so i just-"

"well if its nothing then just leave", diluc cut you off a second time. 

you watched his hands ball into fists.

"...okay", you did what he wished for, even if something inside you hurt, when he rejected your help so very crude. but you managed to convince yourself that it was just frustration from working so much. but then why did it hurt like this? 

you were very well aware that you were just his assistant, but sometimes you dared to imagine you were more than that. those wishes and dreams were left unspoken, even after years of knowing diluc.

but it still hurt so much.

what you werent prepared for, was how many times situations like this would occur. his ways of telling you to leave him alone got more and more impolite, almost insulting at this point. all you wanted was to help, yet diluc did not understand your intentions. or maybe he didnt want to understand them. or maybe he just didnt care enough. no matter what it was, it was always the same. you offered your help, and he rejected. everyday it was like opening an old wound once again and putting salt in it.

one last try.

that was what he would get.

a knock, and another one. they sounded hesitant, but diluc paid no attention to that. 

"come in", the same words used over and over again. 

"you have been working in here for over seven hours now, you should take a break its not good for your health", your body flinched, when you heard diluc slam a fist on his table. 

"oh my god [name]. every day you come in here saying the same things! how many times do i have to tell you that you cant-", this time you cut him off. 

"that i cant do anything? is that what you were going to say? are you going to tell me to leave like every other day? diluc all i want is to help you. its not my fault that you overwork yourself so much that you ignore who actually cares about you. and yes i do care about you, i dont just do this because its my job", as you were finally letting all those words out of your system, an irritated stare was lying on your face. this was the first time in weeks, diluc has looked at you again. your eyes were no longer filled with passion. its like they were replaced with those hurt eyes. your body was tense, and although diluc finally noticed all those things, it seemed he had no words for you. 

seriously? 

you just told him how you felt, and he still ignored you like an irrelevant nobody. 

"i really like you diluc, i really do but.."

dilucs body tensed up upon hearing those words leave your lips. his heart had a reaction to it he never felt before.

"it doesnt seem like neither your heart nor you seem to care enough to reply to me", and with that, you left with quiet steps and closed the door behind you.

diluc was in a daze, and stared at the door you closed behind you for at least another 5 minutes.

he noticed something long ago. he noticed whenever you entered a room, it seemed to light up. he noticed how whenever you saw him your eyes lit up. he noticed how whenever you ate something you liked, the corners of your mouth lifted before you could say something. and so many more things, which would take hours to list. 

but most of all, he noticed how much he needed you.

and now he notices that once again.

suddenly he remembers all the times he was rude to you, whenever you asked to help him. he missed those before, but now theyre coming to him again.

he looked for you, and with every second he couldnt find you, the pit in his stomach grew quicker than he could find you.

"ah! master diluc! are you looking for [name]?", one of his maids approached him, not noticing how stressed he was.

"Yes! yes, do you know where they are?"

"well, not exactly, but they told me they were going on a walk", the maid repeated what you had told her. she also noticed your dull eyes rather quickly, so she let you go, agreeing that it would be good for you.

"Thank you!", diluc replied, as he was already hurriedly heading towards the door.

as soon as he stepped outside, he noticed how hard it would be to find you. you could be anywhere, in any direction. 

then he suddenly remembers a faint interaction you both had. you remeber telling him, that whenever you didnt know where else to go, you went to starsnatch cliff. he remembers you rambling on and on about how the name fits the cliff so perfectly, because whenever you were there at night, the stars felt so close as if you could just snatch them. the red heads feet guided him right to where he suspected you could be, and he was right. there you were lying flat on your back, arms streched away from your body.

it seemed to diluc that you havent noticed his quiet steps in the grass yet, but you noticed long ago. you were never going to admit this, but you were actually hoping that he would find you.

"what do you want", you asked while sitting up, with your back still turned to him. 

dilucs breaths were deep and heavy, since he went here as fast as he could. 

now was the moment, when he wasnt sure what to say. just like back in his office, it seemed his heart had so much to tell you, but his words were left unspoken. 

a few more seconds remained silent.

"well if its nothing then just leave", you repeated the words that left his mouth a long while ago. the probably first of the many times he rejected your help, your concern, and you. 

suddenly he heard a sniffle. have you been crying? this is not what he wanted. never had he expected you to be crying because of his actions. not when he was the one who dreamed of being with you, and the one who dreamed to protect you exactly pain like this.

but still he was the one who sent those daggers into your heart.

maybe that was what he needed to say.

"i'm sorry [name], i'm really so sorry. i know that sorry probably doesnt fix anything right now, but please forgive me. i know that i shouldnt have been the way i was to you. i should have accepted your help, i know youre a great help and i shouldnt have snapped at you the way i did. i have so many things i want to say to you but i never know how or where to start. please, would you forgive me?"

...

diluc heard no reply, but instead more quiet sniffles. you on the other hand could not speak. you were afraid of your voice breaking, or maybe you were afraid of starting to cry even more. you hugged your legs.

suddenly, you felt a warm body against your back and you felt arms snake around your waist. 

but most importantly, you heard a whispered "please..."

diluc tried to look at you, but you just turned your face away from him.

"don't look at me right now i look hideous", you shakily let those words escape your throat. 

"no you dont, and even if you did, i'd still like that 'hideous' version of you [name]. i like every version of you. remember when you told me you liked me today? i like you more, even more than you could imagine. i love you, [name]. i know how sudden this is but everything that i know about you, and all your features, every single gesture and every single habit of yours. i adore those things more than my own life. so please. please forgive me this once. you dont have to feel the same way. i just dont want you to hate me", diluc confessed his well kept secret.

"... i dont hate you, diluc. and i never could hate you", a single tear rolled down your face, as you turned around to face diluc, who still had his arms around your waist.

diluc cupped your cheeks, and wiped away your tears with his thumbs. 

"you look as beautiful as always [name]"

you laid your head against his chest and closed your eyes, his body keeping you warm. 

"the stars look closer than usual today, dont you think?"

bonus

diluc noticed your quiet snores, after a while of sitting with you in his arms at starsnatch cliff. 

your body shivered, and only then he noticed how cold it was getting. 

"i suppose its time to go back", diluc took off his coat, and gently laid it on your body, as he picked you up in bridal style, to carry you back to his mansion.

[project-sekai-facts]

hi… is it alright if i can ask u ur opinion on whether you think that tsukasa was neglected (albeit unintentionally) or not… u dont need to answer this its fine really😭 i just find reading analysis or other ppls opinions especially abt tsukasas pysche interesting😓i see alot of diff opinions and im no tsukasa expert, tho i really enjoy the facts and analyses u post on here^^

ah, is this because people have been arguing about it on twitter again?

he kinda was it's made pretty clear in Dazzling. BUT it was NOT intentional. Saki was seriously ill and constantly in and out of hospital, so their parents obviously had to dedicate more time to her. he doesn't blame them for that, and he doesn't blame saki. he was well aware of the fact that their parents had to spend more time taking care of her, and wanted the best for her.

(TL by Tsukasa's #3 Fan on YT)

as I said Dazzling makes it clear though that the way his parents dealt with the situation specifically in regards to him was not the best way that they could have handled it. he's seemingly home alone (no babysitter is shown or mentioned) when he was seven because his parents were often either at work or the hospital. it's also important to note though, that as much as he was lonely he knew saki had it worse, because at least in his case, he could still see his friends at school every day and lived in the same house as his parents. He was lonely because he didn't have his sister, Saki was lonely because she didn't have anyone. And also just because of the person he is, he decided not to dwell on the negative feelings.

However I will add, I do think the lack babysitters and leaving your kid alone at home and responsible for themself at a fairly young age is more common in Japanese culture than in a lot of western countries. So by those standards, I dunno if you really wanna call it neglect or not.

Regardless, Tsukasa and Saki both have trauma over what happened in their childhood and it can and does coexist. What’s with this fandom and making everything one or the other?

[buwheal]

[You've Got Mail!]

You can now send your favorite salesman emails!! YAY!!

Here's some rules and information about the askbox.

First and foremost;

I will not answer every single ask. Sometimes I just cant do anything with it that will work realistically with the perimeters of the world, and I apologize!! Its nothing against you guys!!

(Unless you break the rules ofc.)

So if you dont see yours after a long while, it’s probably something that wont work, sorry! You can always send it again for a second try or send more than one ask whenever and see if that one works instead!

Besides that, here’s the rest of what you need to know!

[RULES] :

Spamton can only talk through the computer, so dont send asks that have a physical interaction!! Sorry! Thats just how i decided to set up the world/situation, and is not really anything against you guys :-)

(more of a request than a rule tbh) Preferably try to send real questions or statements. most "joke" asks are funny, but are surprisingly hard to create an in character response for. You can still send joke asks if you really want to, just dont always expect an answer X-P (i.e. asks that contain nonsense,, you can still be funny and make regular jokes, and i should probably specify that, but things that are like "you look like a worm" or smth i have no clue what to do with lol)

I know he may be a personification of spam emails... BUT DONT SPAM!!! It clogs the askbox and is a real pain!! You can send him more than one ask, though, as long as you arent repetitively sending a ton in a short burst!! Send as many as you'd like as long as they dont qualify as spam.

Dont be overly sexual or romantic, please! Even "As a joke". I dont like Spamton like that and it makes me uncomfortable, and I can't really answer that in character in a way that wouldnt provoke more of that. (You can be a flirt, but not much more than that.) Thank you!!

Be respectful and patient!! I am just one person doing everything, and this got far more popular than anticipated, so i will take a long time. I try my best to get at least one out every other day but i'll need breaks eventually!!!

I cannot give/spawn/materialize things for/to Spamton if you ask because of the way it’s set up. You are really just lines of text from a computer to Spamton, BUT... You can still do a lot if you think outside the box. or,, errr,, outside the computer. More like IN the computer. Kind of. Your words and your actions affect him and his reactions to you, so word it correctly and you can get him to do something or say something. Hes not stupid though, and he CAN usually tell when your intentions are... less.. than good.

Try not to do RP as other characters please.(Thats my job…!) I literally have no idea what to do with them and i feel bad leaving them in there :frown:

[INFORMATION] :

(Optional read :-P )

[YGM!] is technically an AU!!! not only do the events of the game not occur, but this is also set before then!

Asks are put out one a day, regardless if i have more than one, UNLESS i need to connect two(or more) to complete one event. Or i feel like it. a little treat.

I am one person doing every ask and every unique frame of art, so expect 1 ask (If youre lucky, two) maybe every other day Monday-Friday depending on my workload per day.

This is just for fun!! I am using the askbox to exercise my drawing consistency, Spamton's personality, and the way he speaks and responds to different situations! This is a way I am using to improve my understanding of him as a character, so it wont be always consistent as I am growing and learning!

Just a little disclaimer, he WILL be mean. He is a sour, nasty, grumpy, bastard and I am absolutely not opposed to him responding as such. Just keep that in mind when sending an ask if you dont want that!

If you want a common outcome, talk to other people about it! go crazy! I dont mind long threads on my posts if you want to create a plan. Infact, I can even help and tell you things occasionally!!

What you say to him DOES and WILL affect the way he responds. It is possible to regain his trust, but still a little hard. He is not a trusting person to begin with and being mean certainly doesnt help. BUT.. I am not opposed to being mean. Infact, they are quite fun to do. Either way is entertaining for me, so do as you will. YOU can choose to hurt or help him, because it’s basically always reversible in a way.

Using tone tags, while not required, are really helpful and assist me in understanding the intention in your ask if you think it may be interpreted another way! (i.e. sarcasm) :-)!!

I pick and choose asks depending on his situation, or if i have a good idea for a response, so you may need to wait a bit before i can get to yours!! Ones that i have an idea for take priority, especially when its to progress a scene. Or, alternatively, i am saving your ask for something i have planned.

I WILL reuse frames and poses to get these out faster and for my convienence :-) especially for the frames where there is no need to change his pose! So like.. dont think too hard about it lol.

Also, i prefer if you specify if the ask is for me /or/ Spamton. I do still do normal asks!! If its for me, just let me know!! I can usually tell, but most asks will be interpreted as for Spamton. I appreciate ones that start with his name before said thing is asked/stated specifically!! (i.e. "Spamton, __ __ __")

I wont be consistent with the way its answered. Sometimes it's one panel, sometimes its a couple panels, or sometimes they're animated gifs!! It varies depending on what i feel, so if youre lucky you can get a gif, lol. Those take longer usually though. Ive mostly switched to a gif format rather than multiple panels in a comic style, because its much easier to view! The animation quality can vary :-)

Thats about it!! Have fun!! ^_^

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading in jp 12 - trimax ch 1 and 2 time HBRBRHBRHBRHBR

last we left off, vash meets wolfwood and i smashed out a bunch of nonsense saying how wolfwood brazenly climbed over one of the walls vash has.

i think more of this happened in trimax ch 1 and 2. there's something going on with the framing here.

being buck naked

so previously in post #10 ive mentioned how meryl and milly stumbling into a half naked vash is him showing them the most open and vulnerable self he has. in trimax ch 1 this happens again

except he isnt half naked this time, hes buck naked and just took some bullets right in front of wolfwood and his ruined salad grub.

theres also this scene where vash talks pretty openly about how he feels about the fifth moon incident. hes scared, and he declares it to wolfwood. buuuut, check out the bubbles ive highlighted here:

i think this might be a problem stemming from DarkHorse's work bc in the JP its actually like this:

❗Vash doesnt say "I chose to retire"❗

Wolfwood says "So ya chose to retire." (more directly: so ya chose to live on the down-low?) the Tell here being the kansai dialect in the bubble.

i dont like nitpicking over translation mistakes. id probably slip up here and there if i did trigun too bc the japanese level in here is higher than what Shounen Jump has. also no hiragana aid in trimax cry

anyway

this then implies wolfwood has sussed out vash pretty well enough for vash to continue spilling more information. i suspect if wolfwood didn't, the conversation miiight have ended right there.

these panels, man. wolfwood is looking with half of his expression covered. meanwhile, vash doesnt meet him and just wants to hide. maaaybe run? idk. interpretations ahoy.

thats a fun dynamic. on another note

that vash in trimax ch 1-2 seems to be using Ore with wolfwood throughout their interaction. i suppose its a continuation of how vash seems to have some trust towards wolfwood, as he did watch him give whats little of his money left towards kids previously.

but if im understanding how nightow is now framing this whole concept correctly, the whole pronoun usage here is to drive home how multi-faceted vash is. that is to say, all of these parts are him, and we as the viewer see it all laid pretty bare.

the characters meanwhile do not, and certainly not wolfwood... yet. though if you wanna interpret the nakedness it might be that the TriGang have seen the rawest part of what drives Vash.

aside, boku is still around. internally when hes reflecting and feeling unsure, Boku is used in this scene:

....hmm 🤔

otherwise hes using Ore and seems pretty resigned to confronting the situation with knives as wolfwood delivers his colt back.

The threat

ok this is fun. so take a look at the last bubble in the JP side. (all EN versions here are from OH)

rubby hands. hey Boku is back. and theres a heart sakldfjasdlf anyway okay so my sloppy/direct translation of all of these would be

I won't give you even a moment to reload. I won't kill you, but I'll entrust you with one request. Soon, I will leave this town. And after! If I find that something happened to my family or this town... I'll have you take all responsibility, okay❤️? "

god this is so good its chilling more of this nightow pls

Whua-?! Protect them from the other thugs. Sweet deal, isn't it?! And hey... Fail, and know that I have every intention to chase you down to the very depths of hell.

HBHRBHBRRBHRBR. so many things going on even in the EN version.

he also says family. i cant find this in the EN version but he does reciprocate the familial feelings Sheryl and Lina has towards him.... ;w; ... hhh.

[el-warverine]

Hercules appreciation post

Hyping up his mans to get him un-stoned

Theyre married, your honor.

Got saved by his mans

Bro has no chill and i respect it

A couple that bullies together stays together

Sad hours strike too tho

Have emotions at least once a day challenge, heres mine:

One thing i adore about Herc x Logan is that its the only ship where Logan is fully in this role. I dont know what to call it. Hercules is older, bigger, stronger, more immortal. In the classic days of fanfiction.net that would just read as "bottom" or "sub" but i dont think that encapsulates what im trying to say.

Logan never gets to be the one looked after, the one being treated with particular care. It gets close with Wade because they are equals in many ways, but this is different. In a situation where these two are together, Logan is completely free of the protector role. It's not a role he dislikes (he takes to it fast and seems to revel in it frankly), but it is taxing. Hercules is so competent and powerful that if Logan is there its because they just want to be around each other.

Hercules also admires Logan in a way that is quite different from others, like a warrior admires another. Its not the devoted almost fan-like behavior of someone like Wade (which again i love poolverine obviously just different. Same, but different.)

Hercules also falls into "i can make him better" territory, as he's so lighthearted and noble he is the most sunshine coded partner Logan gets shipped with, rivaled only by Kurt. The key difference is that Logan can't dismiss Herc's optimism as naivete. Logan can believe Hercules acts with intent because Hercules is likely a step ahead, as an older partner usually is. (Which is how bad power imbalances can happen, but these two are centuries old, and that's not the vibe lmao)

I think that's why that sad hours moment is so important to me, because Logan knows the answer "Im gonna have to get used to this, wont i?". He may be younger than Hercules, but he has already lived a long time and lost many people. Still, although typically their meetings are airy, easy, and fun; Logan reaches out for comfort from Hercules. Hercules is a bit tentative with such seriousness, but he also went up to Logan in a cemetery. Hercules didn't stumble into being stuck with a grieving Logan by being unaware or any other excuse Logan could conjure for why someone would be forced to deal with him while he's sulking. For someone who struggles to feel wanted or welcomed, knowing your partner is a step ahead and purposefully engaging with you at every turn is an enormous comfort.

"You sought me out." Herc knew what he wanted, and Logan can give that to him. Herc wants undying company, and one thing Logan does best is survive.

"You sought me out." Is such an important aspect to this ship because Logan can be sure he is wanted, not because he is needed as a weapon or a shield, just to be there. The fact they meet up just to drink and talk is established here, and thats a big deal to me because Logan isnt exactly a social butterfly. If it isn't the Xmen who live and work with him, anyone else only seeks him out when they need him. They need tracking, killing, suicide missions, etc.

Herc just wants to shoot the shit and he wants Logan to be there. As much as Logan acts like he doesn't care for talking, he sure is drawn to talkative silly guys who never really shut up. He likes to sit there while they talk. Whether he's listening or not is debatable, but he's just happy to be there.

[hexedwinchester]

How come u dont love Sam protecter and older brother Dean🥹

By Sam own words Dean raised him, a-lot of the good qualities that Sam has he got from Dean. Yeah Sam childhood wasn't the best, but he was deeply loved by Dean, i believe this love helped overcome many obstacles in his life.

In fact again by Sam own words, Deans love and protection is the only thing he could always count on.

I am not saying Dean is perfect, but who is ? To say that Sam needed protection from Dean sounds odd, where Dean is literally his home and the only place he feels safe.

hi @rosedark88

Interesting question and perspective you have offered.. this would be fun to analyse 😊

Before I start, let me be honest: I'm not Dean's biggest fan because I find a lot of his actions to be problematic. Please proceed with caution: you may not like the answer but I'll break it down as logically as I can. (Please remember, this is not a hate post)

Yes, I agree Dean has been Sam's protector (but only until early seasons. I'll explain what I mean) and he did raise him but time and again Dean has confessed if not to others, then his own subconscious that he hated having to carry that burden. He has let it slip that he is bitter about having to raise Sam (which I can understand, it wasn't fair) but I've seen him pretends otherwise which is two-faced IMO. (He confesses this in S03E10 Dream A Little Dream of Me when he is facing himself, in case you are looking for a reference.)

He is also a hypocrite with repressed emotions. He says he admires his dad but deep down he too resented him but he still gave Sam shit about him because Sam was just more blunt about his opinion of John unlike Dean. Again, in the same episode he says "my dad was an obsessed bastard. All that crap about keeping Sam safe was his crap." See what I mean?

Continuing on the hypocrisy, his whole agenda of "what's dead should stay dead" is gone for a toss when he makes that deal the first time to save Sam in S2. He gave Sam a lot of shit for trusting Ruby because she's a demon (unfortunate for Sam she had bad intentions) but Dean trusted Benny, Gadreel, Crowley and Cas when all of these guys have broken his trust later. But we don't see Sam bringing that shit up like Dean tends to.

Let's also not forget that Dean berated Sam for getting Charlie killed over the Book of the Damned but apparently no one cares that his manipulation got Kevin killed too? Do you see the double standards here?

Speaking of saving Sam, every single time he has done something apocalyptic to save Sam, it was for selfish reasons. The main reason is because Dean struggles to let go, to move on. He'd rather drag a zombie Sam around than let the man die. Even you have to agree there's some truth in that.

Dean hated that Sam left for college and it wasn't because he was afraid something might get to him. No, it was because he saw that as Sam's betrayal. That Sam picked college over him.

Now, coming to your question about why Sam needs protection from Dean his apparent 'savior'? Yes, Dean is willing to do anything to "save Sam" from every evil thing out there but that's the whole problem. Why even Billie doesn't like the Winchesters because these guys are willing to risk the destruction of the whole world to save each other which isn't right.

let's look at those grave "save Sam" moments and see what's wrong with those pictures:

Sam's first death in S2: Dean bought himself one way ticket to Hell to bring Sam back because he didn't want to keep doing this without Sam (he confesses this in his monologue to Sam's corpse and also in the Croaton episode when he finds out Sam is infected and doesn't leave). Dean is literally nobody without Sam and I'm not saying this. This is who Dean is. Sam is Dean's essence for survival. So Dean saved Sam for himself putting Sam through the same ordeal that John put Dean through. Dean passes on his trauma to Sam like a hand me down.

Sam's detox: Bobby tried to knock sense into him that it's probably the cold turkey thing that's killing Sam. I know Dean was trying to help him but I doubt he knew the right way to do so. Even when he realised his method would kill Sam, he was okay letting him suffer like that until he died (because then at least he dies human). I'm sorry that's not how you deal with someone with addiction problem. Despite everything, Sam is still willing to work with Dean but he can't get over Sam choosing Ruby and calls Sam a monster.

In season 6, the brothers realise something is off about Sam. At the end of the episode 'You Can't Handle the Truth' Sam comes clean that he felt different since he was brought back and he needs help to figure it out and how does Dean help him? By beating him unconscious, tying him to the chair like he is a monster? The way he talks to Sam in that scene: "you better hope he (Cas) can diagnose you. he asks, you answer and then you shut your cakehole". So Sam isn't allowed to talk about his own body? Oh wait I know, he's not, not when Dean said so.

In Season 8, he impersonates Amelia, sending Sam SOS just so he can he rendevous with Benny? Amelia was a shore in his Sam's storm. He loved her and deeply cared for her. To let him think something happened to her was cruel. Especially given how Sam's past relationships ended up his beloveds dying horrifically. Who plays such sick mind games? And to your own brother??!

Season 9, my favourite, the one that completely dissolved the rose tinted glasses that the show created for Dean: Manipulating Sam into saying yes to be possessed by an angel (an angel you know nothing of) knowing Sam's history of possession, that was just sick. Sam wanted to die. He was ready. If Dean wanted to save him, the least he could do was be honest about it. Not manipulate him into saying yes. But he didn't. He resorted to manipulation because he knew Sam would rather die than be possessed. Something that people fail to understand here is 'the idea of possession' is a hard limit for Sam. But Dean has no regard for it because in his head "he did what he had to and he won't even apologize for that". I'm sorry, that's the biggest red flag to me. I don't care if you have raised me, protected me and kept me safe only for you to stab me where I'm the most vulnerable. You are no different than all those evil things out to hurt me. That's why I love Sam for standing his ground and not forgiving Dean for this. He was right to say he didn't want to be brothers. If my siblings betrayed me like that, I'd leave too.

And whenn in Season 9 finale, Dean wanted to go off to kill metatron on his own, Sam wanted to tag along but what's dean's response? Punch him into unconsciousness and leave him on the street like that? All vulnerable for any monster to attack him? Really?! How is this protecting? Ya maybe metatron won't kill him but something else still might!

Oh and in Season 15, Dean pulled a gun on Sam and mind you he under no dark influence. This was all him. I'm not even going to elaborate further on this.

I can list at least 10 occasions where Dean has hit, punched, beat up Sam but Sam hasn't fought back. And that's not even what bothers me the most. It's the fact that Sam doesn't look surprised (meaning Dean beaten him before and I so believe he has and it's a frequent, almost business as usual like) or he looks scared (I'll try to find that gif where Sam is on the ground putting his hands before his face to protect himself against Dean). Dean is abusive when he is angry.

Something you said in the ask that struck me odd. What qualities did Sam learn from Dean? Let's see some of Sam's core good qualities:

Emotional intelligence

Forgiving

Compassionate

Empathetic

Selflessness

Determination

Self awareness

Open mindedness

Authencity

Dean is not known for any of the above qualities, so I disagree he learnt his good qualities from Dean. Dean has an emotional intelligence of a wooden plank. He holds grudges and isn't nearly as forgiving as Sam is. Compassion and empathy are not Dean's qualities either. Dean is selfish. His first thought is how to use someone to his advantage. He did that with Cas, Crowley, even Jack. I've seen Dean give up more often. His "I can't keep doing this", "why is it our job to save everyone", "who says I want to do this?" are all indicators of this. Self-awareness tends to dwell in his blindspot. I've said this before, Dean is black and white, Sam is grey area meaning Sam is more open minded than Dean. My favourite: nothing about Dean is original. His leather jacket? John's. His car? John's. His music? John's. His life motto? Also John's. Whereas Sam has been authentic, true to himself than Dean ever could. Did Sam learn hunting from Dean? Yes. Loyalty? Yes. But neither of these are Sam's core qualities. So I disagree that Sam's good qualities come from Dean. If anything, his good qualities are actually him trying not to be like Dean.

Sam can count on Dean's love and protection because he has been conditioned to since he was 6 months old. First by his father and then by Dean himself either through emotional abuse (he keeps reminding him about how his decisions always end up with someone dying or gaslighting him into guilt tripping on things outside his control) or downright physical beatings. The Winchesters have dysfunctional family and relationships. Again, remember Sam is the forgiving one in this relationship. In fact Sam is forgiving to a fault and that's what this is. It doesn't make Dean's actions right just because Sam has been forgiving them.

To summarise, here why I feel Sam needs protection from Dean:

Dean saves Sam only because he doesn't know how to live without him. That's not normal. He has done crazy shit to "save him" resulting in causing Sam more trauma

He quickly lashes out (often resulting in verbal or physical violence) because of his repressed emotions and poor anger management

He has verbally and physically hurt Sam either by calling him a monster or saying he doesn't trust him or by beating him unconscious on multiple occasions

he is controlling, bossy and threatening. "If didn't know you, I'd want to hunt you." Sorry, if I were Sam, I wouldn't feel very safe

Dean doesn't see the wrong in his action or worse, even when he knows he is wrong, he is too stubborn to apologise for that. Everything is shoved under "I did what I had to" or "I'm not apologizing for saving you".

Dean has manipulated Sam and gaslit him

His whole "this is a dictatorship" comes across as a red flag which takes me to my next point:

He never treated Sam as his equal. Don't see how that counts as love

Dean was mad at Sam in DSOTM because Sam's happy memories (that Sam wasn't in control of and the whole situation was probably rigged. I mean, Zachariah cosied up with Mary's image for god's sake) didn't involve Dean. The idea that Sam can have a life outside Dean has never sat well with him

He has locked Sam in the panic room on at least 3 occasions. Sam hasn't done that even once

Sorry, but Dean is not a poster boy for love and protection. When I look at a character, I not only analyse their actions but also try to understand why they acted the way they did. In Dean's case, the why has always been problematic.

Dean's intentions maybe good but his actions don't always align. His philosophy has always been "if the means justify the end" but I don't stand by it. This is what makes room for immoral, tyrant and corrupt actions and an excuse to hide you wrong doings behind those.

These are my views on why I feel Sam needed to be saved from Dean. You may or may not agree and it's fine either ways 😊

Damn! That was lengthy. But thanks for this interesting ask, it was fun! 😇

[mandalaysworld]

my angel.

writers note: hey yall, this is my first of many archived pieces ;))) i’m super excited to be posting. i’ve been nervous though, idk why! i kinda wrote this into a small series to lmk if you guys want it. please enjoy ;)))

pairing: momo yaoyorazu x black coded reader

content: black reader, lesbian coded (bisexual if you squint), fingering, strap on use, oral sex, intention was to use lower case writing , etccccc…

r&bsingery/n thinks about her modelgf!momo yaoyorazu all the time when she’s on tour. it’s hard to see her with all your shows meshing with her gigs. you guys call, text, email, facetime whenever you can due to your demanding schedules. you missed everything about her. it so happens you have a show in london and she has a gig in london, you guys took that opportunity. you was sitting on the couch in your luxury hotel on the top floor. you were busy tweaking your hook for your new upcoming song until you heard a knock on the door. you got up and ran to the door, hoping it was who you hoped it was. you looked through the peephole and smiled. you opened the door to your beautiful, raven haired beauty. you picked her up and swung her around. she giggled and grabbed your face.

“hey baby. i missed you so much mommy.”

she said after putting kisses all over my face and neck. you would smile and pull away, coming together again with a kiss.

“i missed you too angel. come on in.”

you said, letting her come in. she takes off her coat as she kicks off her boots. you take her coat and lay it across the chair you had at the bar.

“baby, this view is beautiful. i’ll never get tired of london.”

she said looking at the skyline in the windows. i giggled at her astonishment.

“im surprised you haven’t just yet. you been here so many times.” i said approaching her from the back. i snaked my arm around her waist and inhaled her scent. her signature floral notes hits my nose.

“yeah i know. it’s like every time feels like the first time you know?”

she rambles on as i place light kisses on her neck.

“yes i know baby.”

she sighs and cranes her neck to look at me.

“baby are you even listening to me?” she asked.

i nod my head.

“yes mama i was. i just wanna make up for lost time, you know?” i said as i turned her around.

she smiled as i leaned in for a kiss. her lips were so soft, instantly feeling butterflies in my stomach. your hands slides down her back and grips her round ass. you tap her ass and in instinct, she makes a small jump in the air. you carried her to your bedroom you’ll be residing in for the next a couple of days. you climb on top of her marveling at her doe like eyes.

“it’s like every time i see you, you get more beautiful angel.” i gushed as i unbuttoned her pants. she blushes and looks away.

“how do you still manage to make me blush and we been together for almost a year now?” she asked as i pulled her panties and jeans off, being impatient as usual. i grabbed her right leg and started to kiss her ankle.

“i don’t know. maybe because i’m like that for real.” i said i rubbed her other leg. i leaned forward and started to make out with her again. momo finds the end of your tshirt and pull it over your head revealing nothing but your perk nipples. she grazes her finger tips over your erect nipples and gave them a small pinch. you moaned, taking the opportunity to slip her tongue in. you two started to breathe more heavily.

“baby i need you—right now.” momo demanded in the kiss. i chuckled.

“when did you get so bossy angel?” she sat up on her elbows.

“ever since my girlfriend is being a slow—oh!” i winked from below her. she watched as i devoured her. she throws her head back with a moan.

“fuck y/n…i missed you so much baby. please….dont stop.” she moaned out as she gripped my afro. i reached up and rubbed on her slim stomach. she unbuttoned that single button she had to secure her plump breasts. i noticed she had them pierced.

“oh? you got your nipples pierced angel?” i asked as i replaced my tongue with my fingers.

“fuck, yes mommy surprise. pleeeeeeease….dont stop mommy. keep going!” she moaned out with her eyes shut tightly. i smirked as i watched her juices trickled down the palm of my hand.

“yes baby because you asked so nicely.” me listening to all her wet, squelching noises is music to my ears. literally. seconds later, momo cries in pleasure as she squirts everywhere from the bed, upper arm and little on my face.

“mm yeah angel. this is what i’m talking about! i miss this fucking pussy.” i praised on with a giggle.

kept pumping my fingers in and out until she was no more. she breathes heavily as i stuck my fingers in my mouth. she watched me seductively. “still sweet angel.” she pushed me over on the the mattress and hovered over me. “it’s my turn.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ *

fuuuuuuck me baby! you’re fucking the shit out of me mommy!” momo moaned out.

i had her bent over on all fours, pounding that pretty pussy. i bit my bottom lip as i watched her round ass bounce off my pelvis. watching her pussy grip my blue strap was something i missed seeing.

“yeah mommy treating this pussy real good huh? you love this dick baby?” i asked before i wrapped her thick black hair round my hand. i roughly pulled it back and made her look at me.

“look at me as i treat this little pretty hm?” she looked at her with her mascara streaked eyes. she was biting on her bottom lip until she let a small pleasured whine. placed my other hand on the small of her back to deepen the arch. all you could hear was her wet pussy talking to me. i smacked her already red ass twice.

fuckkk…flip over. now.” i demanded momo. she did as she was told and made myself at home in between her legs again. i leaned down and started to make out with her passionately. she moaned as i rubbed the blue mushroom tip on her clit.

“stop being a tease. give it to me.” she whined. i smirked as i impaled her through the mattress. she gasped. i started to kiss all over her face. “i did what you asked of me,” i whispered.

“now…are you going to continue whining or take it like mommy’s good girl?”

end note: so what did you guys think? i mean, ik i need to work on it a little more when it comes to my diction and stuff but still idk. also too, the r&bsingery/n is based off kehlani. so i hope i nailed it for now! thank you <333

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the beach conversation is insane actually im always being so mean to 13 for how closed off she is but it's insane what she does here like "ive never been able to", "it's what my life is", "not because i dont want to"

shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much but lets play doctors and students and reenact the anatomy lesson dr nicolaes tulp you be the doctor and the students and i'll be the body hang on let me hold up a lamp so you can see what we're doing

shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much i locked my hearts in this rusty vault and lost the keys but if i had a spare i would give you it i swear i promise i know thats not enough but i'd give it to you

"i cant fix myself" is how she starts. "i'll be fine, in the end, hopefully" she says like an hour after regenerating after describing just how much it fucks her up and how scary it is and how painful and how much of a gamble, really, how much of a leap of faith and hoping for the best, hoping for that net to appear because if it doesnt......... theres no backup

are you alright, doctor? are you okay? yaz has asked a hundred times without getting an answer. and now she finally does and it seems to recontextualise every dodge that has come before. stop asking, it's not the end yet, theres still time, a little more patience, i will figure it out, i will be able to give you a yes eventually im sure of it.

but now it is the end, regeneration looms again, time is running out, and this endlessly delayed answer sounds like a resignation. i cant do it. not in time. maybe not ever. but definitely not before the plane crashes and i take you down with me. i broke the universe and i cant fix it. it's too late. i dawdled too much.

and what this could have been, but isnt, because neither of them take it this way, think of it this way, because theyre too much alike, and not like this at all, but what this could have been, in intention and reception, is a request for help. i give up, i cant figure this out, but can you? the doctor doesnt mean this, and yaz has always been too attentive to the limits, too respectful of the doctor's boundaries (from "who, me? no. never doubted. don't know what you mean" in ghost monument to "can we just live in the present") to misinterpret it this way. so theyre on the same page. a page, as always, decided on by the doctor. but it does make the perfect set up for the finale

because i do think, sort of, that yaz fixed it. not you know the millennia of trauma but the specific inability of 13 to trust people. the clara/river/missy/bill my-friends-die-or-are-not-what-they-seem-or-both cant-hold-anyones-hand-but-my-own inability to trust her friends are her friends and they will not like explode into gore and viscera if she touches them (which now that ive said it i bet is what she has nightmares about. perfect match with what i think yaz has nightmares about which is the doctor exploding into gore and viscera and not being able to do anything abt it. actually the best idea i think ive ever written abt what yaz has nightmares about is "or you take off your coat and youre wearing dynamite", but i digress) that, i think yaz sort of fixes when she saves the doctor and saves the world and i think if 13 had lived she'd have trusted yaz after that in a way she couldnt before and maybe even that realisation of "you saved my life" in that weird malleable state of post-pseudoregeneration might have had a hand in why 14 is the way he is

[elftwink]

every few months or so i have to reach out to someone i inexplicably stopped speaking to for literally no reason at all and in my mind this doesn't impact the nature of our relationship in the slightest (i think ive seen a post floating around on here that phrases this like "i don't have a friendship decay mechanic" and thats pretty accurate to me as well) but it is literally so scary because other people definitely can feel negatively about this complete gap in interaction and read into it my intentions (or worse when its due to memory issues do that thing where theyre like "if it was important you would remember ergo i am not important to you") and its like idk how explain that life is just moving to damn fast like to me we may as well have been talking yesterday... makes me very sad because on the one hand people have a right to feel that way and i understand that it can feel like your time is being wasted or that the other person doesn't respect you enough to get back to you (because also. some people do deliberately ignore messages for these reasons unfortunately)

but on the other hand. for me i feel like im always on the back foot because i just dont have the capacity to actually keep up with everyone, and i barely have the capacity to do the apology rounds every few months. also i hate the apology rounds because even if i have every intention of keeping up with people it always slips. i dont think i was meant to live in a world with instant messaging i think we should go back to snail mail. i would also be bad at replying to people with it but at least i would have a better excuse

also sometimes im just like i must be inventing problems when i write replies to people like an email on average takes me 4 hours or so to compose if given my own time. for time sensitive work emails it's still at least half an hour to an hour, which is also about the time it takes me to compose a text message to someone (unless i see it right away and stream of consciousness my answer without thinking then i can do it in 2 minutes but if i dont do this at the exact moment i see the text i cannot do it at a later time). during this process it feels impossible to speed up but its obviously ridiculous for two emails to take the time of an entire work day. also i have to take a break after sending an email or text like it is genuinely really draining and there is just no way it takes this much time or energy for anyone else because if it did we would have made texting illegal by now. but at the same time no single component of writing an email/text is that obviously difficult or energy intensive so im like sweating blood for hours to produce something that looks like it took 3 1/2 minutes maximum like what is wrong with meeeeeee

also no i didnt send my email yet im procrastinating by writing this post. perhaps this is also contributing to my extremely long composition times :/ ok bye everyone if i post again in the next hour and it does say "yay i sent my email" or something of the like please yell at me

[sumbreon]

more book thoughts

the shops back up you can now buy these books

ive not read anymore yet, using it to bribe myself into doing laundry but ive been stewing on things. this will be even less coherent cause im just gonna throw my thoughts out here as they come to me unlike before where we had a mild focus

what is machas plan here? turning up as félix to fuck with islin about cypress like what was the intent there because i doubt it had the intended effect with islin going 'it should be me courting you félix!' which also islin my man... ya coulda!!! oh no i just remembered hesper signed the fuckin courting card or whatever with a little paw print really good! the whole thing with cypress is really good too honestly. the pacing for after félix gives bowman (françois) the ultimatum was so good it felt like so long not being in félixs pov and seeing it from bowmans i was absolutely losing it like let me into that little bastards head again what the fuck is going on??? to then finally get his pov again and just... i dont think that could have been done any better it fuckin killed me. anyway macha clearly still wanting to fuck with félixs boys but tamer than in the first book but what for? im also both dreading and looking forward to whenever they and félix meet like its your bosses new little guy vs its the fucker who tried to kill your friends (maybe? dont know for sure that macha intended for anyone to die but they definitely could have/almost did!) so fucking with islin by being félix and fucking with bowman by attacking rangers as a viper tbh even less clear on how that ones meant to a work out whats gained from turning the rangers against the viper? whats esks relationship with the rangers? cain made a comment to bowman after the whole graveyard incident and what did you mean by that man? whats your damn deal macha?

also every bowman chapter is accompanied by the mild apprehension of 'there was a warning for intentional misgendering its probably gonna be against bowman' who the fucks gonna do that to my boy? and i love that esks general response to bowman having to avoid saying hes the supposedly dead mercier girl is why is this even an issue. esk continues to not be helpful! but i am delighted by bowman and esk throughout this book so far me everytime its bowman time:

to be clear im having a good time, bowman less so. still makes me laugh that esk referred to félix as 'the pony'. and i loved that little scene on the train with félix and esk about félixs body and i think esk was maybe already aware? when the supposed viper attacked the rangers esk says a powerful black horse could maybe do that and says félix couldnt do that being so young a black horse? wonder just how much of esk not being helpful is being a bit of an ass and if any of its lingering effects from being stuck in that trophy room? god that was a horrifying scene and from what we see of tua it affected the weapons badly, esk wasnt there as long but it was still there

senca... girl whats your angle here? what sort of game is this to you? what are you getting out of it? i believe her when she tells esk that shes on the boys's side but im still not 100% trusting her

just how many times has léa threatened to cut bowmans dick off? enough that félix didnt let her finish the suggestion. and i keep thinking about léa telling félix about bowman not counting it as cheating with félix specifically like could you boys make this any more complicated? how the hell is félix meant to deal with that info? also made me think of that post where a girl had been having gay sex with her friend for like a decade and was like sex with her doesnt count and it ended with her saying to her boyfriend if it was cheating shes cheating on her friend with him then and not the other way around (i might try and find that post again. ill probably fail)

okay laundry done i might come back and add more or i might not

[zoobus]

i reread your breaking bad post and like, its been a minute since ive watched the show, so i could be misremembering, but i think one thing that trips people up with that episode is that, whatshisface, Elliot(?) is employing a very friendly demankr towards Walt the whole time he's telling him how he's going to screw him over. My dad once told me (in the context of politics, but i think it applies here too) that you can get most people to accept anything youre saying as long as you say it with a smile on your face. People expect the friendly guy to have good intentions and the unfriendly guy to have bad intentions. So when Elliot tells Walt "You accept my help and I'm going to own you forever" oh-so-nicely and Walt, who's much worse at projecting that kind of friendliness, says "no fuck you", Walt is the one who ends up looking unreasonable to a lot of people in that situation.

i dont think im telling you anything you didnt already know here just, you reblogged the post again and now im thinking about it out loud i guess. It kind of annoys me a little that the prevailing understanding that Walt is an asshole (a true statement) does kinda lead people to expect every action he takes to be fundamentally the wrong choice.

That's an excellent point and a likely answer as to why people are so quick to take Elliot's offer at face value, rather than the pinnacle of multiple intentional humiliations. Walt can't hide his disdain for others, Elliot knows his audience - he did it at his birthday party, surrounded by his friends, so of course they aren't going to care or think that deeply about what a dick move that was.

I still don't completely agree that his dickhead intent wasn't apparent, but I can accept that for most people "this guy is offering me a chance to not die" is such a good deal, it overshadows any negative read of his behavior