#i still feel like it should be like. nov 8th

[semiotomatics]

just accidentally booked a therapy appt for tomorrow which i very much did not mean to do and technically the clinic requires 48 hr notice for cancellations but idk how that works for last minute bookings so i emailed them and will call them in the morning and hopefully it can be cancelled w/o penalty but like ahhhhhhh why did i do that im so dumbbbb

[cenestpaslavie]

Election Fraud?

You've seen this image:

It’s a graph from a website named ZeroHedge. Its purpose is to highlight the dramatic increase in democrat votes in 2020, and the subsequent decrease in 2024. This is to bring attention to the theory that the 2020 election was a farce. However, this graph is not viable evidence of election fraud. All it shows is that more people, overall, showed up to the 2020 election. I believe this increased turnout can be attributed to the unprecedented circumstances at the time.

Firstly, it is clear that Democrat and republican votes increased from 2016 to 2020. For Democrats, it was a 23% increase, and for Republicans, it was 18%. It then seemingly drops to normal levels for Democrats in 2024, but not for Republicans. It should be considered that this is a developing situation, the article this graph was created for was posted on November 6th, while votes were still being counted. Currently, on November 8th, the graph would look more like this:

As the rest of the votes are counted, the graph will continue to shift. It’s still a significant loss in Democrat votes, but it’s definitely not the flat line shown in the original graph anymore.

The drastic increase in the votes of Democrats and Republicans (though admittedly, mostly Democrats), can be attributed to the issues at the time. In 2020, there were the George Floyd protests, which went on the entire year (and almost another two after that), there were the California wildfires which decimated 4.3 million acres, and of course, the beginning of the COVID-19 lockdowns, which ruled over the entire year. In times of exceptional social tension, voter turnout will increase; this has always been true. For example, in the first election after 9/11, democrats showed a 16% increase in votes, and Republicans showed a 23% increase, based on the votes of the previous election. An increase, which is proportionally very similar to 2020, only reversed. Another important factor is the social distancing protocols in 2020, where the reasons a person could request to vote by mail were expanded, and many states sent all registered voters a ballot by mail. So, people who had not voted before had a mail-in ballot dropped in their lap and might have already been pushed into action by the increasing social tension.

In the 2024 election, though, the drop in voter turnout was not proportional to what we saw in 2008, the second election after 9/11. Though, again, as the votes are counted, this gap will decrease. It is my belief that many typical Democrat voters were feeling disillusioned with the state of things. Trump’s campaigning was ever-present, the assassination attempt caused massive publicity, and Kamala only had a few months to campaign. The biggest issue many left-winged people were concerned with this election was the ongoing genocide in Gaza. Since both Trump and Kamala did not plan to stop funding Israel’s invasion, many people voted third party or did not vote. While Kamala did show more empathy towards the Palestinian people than Trump, it was not enough to sway the majority to her side.

In conclusion, there was not and is not an election fraud. The results are what they are, and trying to prove a voting fraud distracts from the action that needs to be taken now to win back the Democrat votes for 2028. It also risks re-empowering the 2020 election fraud movement, which was violent and conspiratorial.

I would also like to add that despite the mostly neutral tone in this post, I am firmly a leftist. It is genuinely gutting to see the outcome of this election, not because of fraud, but because all of those people really approved of such archaic, hateful ideas.

Sources: 

Durden, T. (2024). Trump Wins: Here Are The Economic, Market, Tax, Tariff, Immigration And Regulation Implications. [online] Zerohedge.com. Available at: https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/trump-wins-here-are-economic-market-tax-tariff-immigration-and-regulation-implications [Accessed 8 Nov. 2024].

This is the ZeroHedge article which contains the original graph.

HOW WE VOTED IN 2020 A TOPICAL LOOK AT THE SURVEY OF THE PERFORMANCE OF AMERICAN ELECTIONS. [online] Available at: https://electionlab.mit.edu/sites/default/files/2021-03/HowWeVotedIn2020-March2021.pdf.

This is a breakdown of voting methods in 2020, used when talking about the increase of mail in ballots.

The Editors of Encyclopedia Britannica (2017). United States Presidential Election Results. In: Encyclopædia Britannica. [online] Available at: https://www.britannica.com/topic/United-States-Presidential-Election-Results-1788863.

This is an official record of the United States presidential election votes. This was used to calculate the increase of Dem and Rep voters, and to construct the updated graph.

Molski, M. (2024). How voting demographics changed between 2020 and 2024 presidential elections. [online] NBC4 Washington. Available at: https://www.nbcwashington.com/decision-2024/2024-voter-turnout-election-demographics-trump-harris/3762138/.

A comparison of voter demographics between 2020 and 2024. Used for me to get a general idea of the situation.

Kerlin, Katherine E. “California’s 2020 Wildfire Season.” UC Davis, 4 May 2022, www.ucdavis.edu/climate/news/californias-2020-wildfire-season-numbers.

Acres burned in the 2020 wildfires.

[p5x-theories]

Its me again =w=

Can you refresh my memory and tell me if Kamoshida's palace event was splitted in two parts? Because they could do that with Maruki's and so give us both Crow and Violet.

And like. If they dont give us black mask Akechi in a *gacha* it means they hate money.

Also more delulu take but I think the Maruki's palace event will be relased on march, thus finishing the crossover events with P5 a little before the game turns 1 year old. And kickstarting either crossover with Reload or Golden. Thus giving us at least 2 more years of crossover content. And maybe if p6 is really relased in 2025, they might even do a crossover with that once they finish the modern trilogy (im not sure if they will touch p1 and p2 till those get a remake)

The Castle Chapter was not split into two parts; so far every Palace has gotten one single event that covered that chapter completely. Even when two chapters are connected by the story, they've still been (at least mostly) separate events! The Museum and Bank chapters shared some features, but the chapters themselves were still separate. I thought this was relatively clear with how I've organized the summary posts, but let me know if there's a way I can make that more obvious!

If we do the math, it's possible that the Royal collab could take much longer than you're suggesting, unfortunately. Assuming they continue the same schedule, the updates in the future should look like this:

Nov. 7 (Gameplay update)

-> Nov. 21 (Story update) -> Dec. 5th (Event update 1) -> Dec. 19th (Event update 2) -> Jan. 2nd (Event update 3) -> Jan. 16 (Gameplay update)

-> Jan. 30th (Story update) -> Feb. 13th (Event update 1) -> Feb. 27th (Event update 2) -> Mar. 13th (Event update 3) -> Mar. 27th (Gameplay update)

-> Apr. 10th (Story update) -> Apr. 24th (Event update 1) -> May 8th (Event update 2) -> May 22nd (Event update 3) -> June 5th (Gameplay update)

-> June 19th (Story update) -> July 10th (Event update 1) -> July 24th (Event update 2) -> Aug. 7th (Event update 3) -> Aug. 21st (Gameplay update)

The summer event was also a set of event updates, if you recall, and we're set to get our next three event updates right around December and the start of next year! That seems like prime time to have another event, to me. And the next event update falls right around Valentine's Day, which we know we're getting some kind of event for! I'm not sure if both of these updates will be for holidays instead of the collab, or if they might celebrate the holidays in some other way (the 6-month anniversary just gave rewards), but I think it's worth considering both the best and worst-case scenarios here.

Best-case scenario, like you implied, we get the last part of the original collab in the event updates from December 5th to January 2nd, adding Crow and wrapping up that collab. Then, the Royal collab only lasts one event update, from February 13th to March 13th, adding both Violet and Black Mask.

Two other possible scenarios I can imagine, however:

1) The December 5th to January 2nd update is a holiday event, and then the February 13th to March 13th update is the Valentine's Day event, meaning the original collab doesn't end until the April 24th to May 22nd event update, and then they add Royal in the July 10th to August 7th update after.

2) They stick to an alternating schedule for collab events vs. other events, so the December 5th to January 2nd update is a holiday event, then the February 13th to March 13th update is a collab event update. The April 24th to My 22nd update is another holiday/other event, and we get Royal in the July 10th to August 7th update.

It also feels possible they could push the Royal event out even further, for any number of reasons, but I don't think we'll know for sure until they announce some future update plans, heh. But these all feel reasonably possible to me.

Definitely, though, I agree there's plenty of things left for them to cross over with, heh! If the first three Persona games ever get remakes, I'd absolutely love to have collabs with them as well, but given the book with the SMT: If... reference, I do have this small (probably unrealistic) glimmer of hope that they might consider collabs with them even if remakes aren't announced any time soon, especially if they've finished collabs with the other modern Persona games by that point. So I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

[sirjimothydoesntsleep]

Reasons why I think that we should change how many months there are in a year. This was brought to you by someone who cannot sleep and has no hobbies to distract themself with.

Okay so 365 divided by 12 is 30.416666666 (I did this in my calculator app). So we end up with a leap year every now and again. So 365 days and every 4 years a leap year, very nice okay. However, going off the months of the year: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December. You see something in September, October, November and December? If you don't it's SEPT, OCT, NOV, and DEC - These mean (what I assume to be) seven, eight, nine, and ten going off the shapes septagon, octogom, nonagon and decagon. I bet you can't guess how many sides those shapes have. But September, October, November, and December aren't the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th month?

THAT'S BECAUSE OF JULY AND AUGUST! NAMED AFTER ROMAN EMPERORS!!!!!!!

NOW I HAVEN'T DONE *ANY* RESEARCH (other than reading books like four years ago) BECAUSE IT'S 1:13AM AND I DO NOT WANT TO FOR THE SAKE OF MY SANITY, I ASSUME THEY WANTED SOMETHING NAMED AFTER THEM AND SO JULY AND AUGUST!! (July probably being Julius Caesar and whoever was August I don't care enough to remember)

So, 10 months? Removing July and August? Okay let's see, 365 divided by 10 is 36.5. So if it were to be even every month is to have 36 days and a leap year every other year. Okay that could be cool what else? 365 divided by 5 is 73, but a month with 73 days might be a bit too long. 365 divided by 4 is 91.25 WHICH COULD BE A bit long now *B U T* since there are 4 seasons we can have 4 months?? OKAY that might be a bit long what about 8 months? That'd be 45.625, I don't know if one is to think that is long but let's see 16. That'd be 22.8125. I think that's quite nice. But what about 20 months? That's divisible by four so we can have 5 months per season. We'd have 18.25 months so we can have 18 days per month and a leap year every 4 years.

What if we wanted every month on a Monday and end on a Sunday? That'd be convenient. Okay so 4 weeks per month, 28 days, 13.035714285 months. We can have 13 months and an occasional leap year to throw off our week, not so nice.

Unless we changed how long our week is? HMMMM let's have a see I need to do more maths now I'm not prepared for this help. This was *not* the plan.

How many weeks per month sounds nice? I'd say 3-5 maybe 6 if that works. Now, at least two days off because yes. Now I'm going off 10 months 36.5 days in them and I'm not going deeper into leap years and I don't care if I didn't need to say that.

If we were to have 3 weeks each week would be 12.166666666 days long. The decimal in not my problem and can be a leap year eventually, I don't care. So 12 days, we can't have 10 days working and 2 days off that's ridiculous! So for 3 week and each week being 12 days long we'd have to have like 7 days working and 5 days off. (I'm assuming capitalism wants us to work longer than off. Wait I can just have them even. Silly me)

So a week would be:

Work, Work, Work, Off, Work, Off, Work, Work, Work, Off, Off, Off. (who wants to work 6 days in a row? However, you'd get 6 days off in a row to either accept my proposal or have 6 days off in a row 6 days working with to be fair is only 1 day more than usual.)

Now onto a 4 week month. 9.125, the decimal is not my problem. So, a 9 day week. How'd that go? We'd still have 5 days of work but now with 4 days off instead (I'm not working with ratios of our current week I'm not bothered.) That'd be fine, a 4 day weekend. Less work, more fun.

Now a 5 week month. 7.3 days. pretty much how it is now. No changes.

Now a 6 week month would have 6.0833333333 days. 3 days off, 3 days working.

Now I feel like there'll be some major plothole. I'm dividing these by 36.5.

But wait. My main issue was that all the months' days are uneven. 365 divided by 12 is 30.416666666. So what if every month just had 30 days oml I'm stupid. BUT THAT WASN'T MY POINT I DON'T LIKE JULY AND AUGUST I NEED TO GET RID OF THEM!!

Okay that's simple I can just have 10 months 36.5 days per month, figure out everything some other time and leap years. Okay so the 0.5 is bothering me. Since it's 10 months and 36.5 days per month and that's 5 extra days half the months can just have 5 extra days. So January, February, October, November, and December will have 37 days and the rest have 36 days. Now I'm done, it's 1:54am and I'll continue this another time. 25/3/25

Expect me to continue this at some point, not in the near future.

[outofcontexturi]

Wednesday 8th Nov 2023 19:29pm journal

Juliet’s mum gave me some great advice about my career going ahead and I’m going to take it on board. I mean I think I’m already doing it but her saying it means I MUST do it now. I went to Delfino’s in Mayfair. lovely food. 9/10. The tiramisu was very nice. So was the pepperoni pizza (simple I know, but still very beautiful!) I’ve been listening to a Tony robbins seminar for most of my day. Making notes. Did some press ups (need to do 40-50 more). Took a cold shower again today. Need to take a warm one before I go to sleep. Need to put together tomorrows fit. I’ve got my breakfast sorted. I want my lights off by 10. I want to be asleep by 10:40pm. I still need to think about next years quarterly plan so I have something in place. I don’t want to be worrying mid-late December about next year so I need to pattern that asap. I’ve decided that the mantra for my life going forward is: look good (great), feel good (great), eat good (great), smell good (GREAT), fuck good (GREAT), love good (great) and more importantly be good (great). To be what I call the “ultimate man”. If I’ve hit all of these good(s) I’m what I consider the ultimate man. self love is a complete love every other love outside of parental love is complementary. life to me right now is a mental game. and if you’re mentally weak you’ll always feel like you’re losing or that life is bad. I’ve started asking myself what’s my focus? I’ll stop whatever I’m doing and ask myself that question and consider if I should continue focusing on it (helpful) or to stop cause it’s not helpful. I can only control myself and not others. I’m glad I’m learning now and applying it into my life. I’ve also noticed but not thoroughly understood that I’ve learnt a lot of things but haven’t applied what I’ve learnt to things so I don’t trust that I’ve learnt it which has been a big reason why I’ve not done much but that changes this month. I want more responsibility and to figure out a way to be more responsible cause I become better that way and I’m all about getting better. Amen. Thank you God. ♥️🥹 I’m enough!

[avissapiens]

Avis Abstraction #6: Gym buds

You are now friends with Mason Reed. You can now message and call each other and see info like Active Status and when you've read messages.

                                         Oct 26th 2044

Me: Hey bro Mason: Heyyy dude haha. Nice to finally meet you Me: Same. ngl i was kinda scared about signing up for the abyss. Thought they’d hook me up with someone i couldn’t vibe with.

Mason: lol. Yh i’m chill. Tho you’re lucky. I didn’t even know about that weird chip thing. Shit hurt when they put it in. did you feel like…tingles too?Me: Yh i did. Was kinda like getting an electric shock but good?? Mason: Weird. Guess we’re gym buds now tho. Can’t wait til we can workout. My weeks a little packed but i’ll defo hit you up when i’m headed to The abyss Me: Sweet dude. We can hash out our split and everything another time. Mason: For sure bro.

                                      Oct 29th 2044 Me: Yo dude, are you on your way to the gym? Mason: yeah actually. I just got off work and thought i’d do a really quick chest workout. How’d you know haha? Me: Idk..i just kinda felt it. Maybe that’s one of the chip functions? No clue. I’m already on my way now tho if you wanna train together Mason: Damn dude yeah i’d love that! So strange, as soon as you said that I got super hyped up. Me: Awesome bro. I’m like 5 mins away. You get warmed up and I’ll chug some preworkout.

Oct 30th 2044 Mason: dude what days do you train? I’m thinking bout changing up my work schedule so i can gym more. Last night was the fuckin best workout i’ve ever had in my life! Me: IKR. God i broke so many of my PRs. The pump is insane. Still sore haha Mason: How about we hit it 6 days a week. It was really awesome to just hang and vibe in the gym ya kno. Me: yeah dude i’d be down for that Mason: Sick, i’ll call my manager to see if he can schedule me different. So pumped Me: Nice. So what are we training today bro? Legs Mason: Legs Mason: Yooo basically in sync nice haha. Me: Lol. See you in an hour? Mason: bet

Nov 5th 2044 Me: Yo Mason: I know.. Me: you know what? Mason: I know what you’re feeling bro. I feel it too. But fuuuuck its rest dayyy. I just wanna train with you. This week alone has been one of the best weeks of gym EVER. Idk if its just the chip talking but damn I love training with you. Me: Wanna head to the gym. Just do something light? Maybe get a protein shake after? Mason: Already packing my bags. ------------------------------------------- Dec 8th 2044 Mason: Bro killer workout today. We were fucking monstrous. Mason: I had a chat with the Gym owner and he says we’re progressing faster than the majority of the other Chipped dudes. Me: Yo really? That feels amazing to know fuck…like really amazing. Gotta work harder. Blow away the competition dude 💪💪 Mason: Yeah. Honestly i see it dude. You’re looking fucking massive lately Me: No way brah. You’ve been bulking like a madman these last couple months [Mason Sent a Picture]

Mason: It’s all you bro. Wouldn’t be at this level without your help. Next year’s gonna be crazy.

Jan 6th 2045 Mason: No homo bro, but your pecs are looking so fucking massive. I swear every time i saw you flex em my chip went off like crazy. Just bolting lol. Me: Oh yeah bro 😏? Mason: Yh Mason: Broooo noo stop it shittt i can feel that in my chip. Me: LOL OMG i didn’t know it could do that. That’s so fucking cool Mason: haha..yeah. Just like chill with it ok bro Mason: STOP Me: ok ok lol. These fucking chips are wild bro. Don’t even know how most of the stuff works yet. Me: woah dude wtf are you doin? Mason: I know you’re jelly of my god quads so i was trying to get you back. Guess it worked lol Me:Lol. Fucking love you bro Me: No homo Mason: lil homo? Me: haha Mason: Ya know bro, i’ve got room in my apartment. Maybe we should like room together? It’d make setting up workouts super easy Me: really dude? That’d be great! Lets hash it out some more tomorrow for Pull day. Mason: Totally

March 20th 2045 Me: hey bro.. Mason: Yo dude, wassup? I’m loving spring break in Fiji. Having a great time Me: Thats nice…you gotta get back here bro.. Mason: Wdym? Me: Its torture just like Me: IDK man. I try to keep working out. I try to keep the pump up, but jesus. Going to the gym without you is miserable Me: I feel weaker. Smaller. Fuck i feel like my chip is punishing me every time i enter that building without you. But then when i don’t go it’s like my entire brain is being eaten from the inside Me: It feels so fucking bad. I just wanna kneel and never get up. So hard to keep going Me: Please bro. I know It’s a lot to ask but just hurry home. I miss you. I miss us… Mason: Okay bro. I know what you mean. Hang in there for a few more days. I’ve been missing the pump too and the gyms here don’t really seem to hit as hard as ours anyway. Me: I’ll try. I promise. Going crazy here. Thanks bro Mason: I’ll bring you back something from Fiji. Can’t wait to lift with you again.

-------------------------------------------- May 1st 2045 Mason: Hey dude are you busy? Me: ? yeah bro i’m just out in the living room. Wassup? Want me to come to you? Mason: NO. Don’t Mason: I can’t look at you right now Me: Okay??.. Mason: Idk what it is bro..I think its the chip but fuck Mason: The last few gym sessions we’ve had Mason: I see you and the weight you’re lifting and the progress you’ve made Mason: And then i look at my own progress Mason: And I just get…fucking upset? Mason: Because you’re not progressing fast enough dude. It’s making me look bad Me:Bro wtf?! Mason: Look at this [Mason sent a picture]

Mason:I’m fucking massive compared to you. All the other chipped bros look on par with each other, but i’ve got 15 lbs on your ass. Me: Yeah…i guess.. Mason: We’ve gotta work harder bro. I fucking love you. I can’t have you being weaker than me. It makes me sick. Makes me fucking angry Me: Yeah, we’re chipped for life. There’s no going back Me: FUCK Mason: Feel that? Exactly. You’ve gotta get back on my level bro. Otherwise, well… Mason: I can feel the chip bro. Mason: I don’t like what it’s making me feel Mason: But i’ll act on it if it goes on long enough Me: Thanks bro. I needed this. I’ll be better, I promise…For you. Mason: For us..💙 Me: For us...Can I still come to your room dude? Mason: Sure bro. Calmed down a bit...think we might lose the deposit on the place tho..Ignore the holes..

-------------------------------------------------

Jul 17th 2045 Me: Bro? Me: Bro??? Me: Mason dude where tf are you i’ve been waiting at the gym for like an hour Me: i’m just gonna start bro. Me: Mason bro wtf’s going on is your chip acting up? Me: Fuck. Fuk bro Me: Stop whatever you’re doing bro thats not funny. Me:Cut it out! Me: Fuck me dude what is this

Jul 18th 2045 Mason: Sorry bro. My bad. Guess i shoulda told you. Me: Tld m wut bro? My chipz ben goin off all fucking nt Me: Fuk can barelt tyoe. Bods liek pulsing. cnt thinkkk Mason: I heard from one of the other chipped dudes down at the gym that there was a guy upstate who’s been jailbreaking the chips. Installing cool new firmware updates. He said he Only needed one of us cause the softwares connected, but i guess you need to go too. Me: WTF bro thts so fucked up! Hw cud u di tht Mason: Tho if i’m being honest. I don’t really need an update. You were the one lagging behind bro. Lets just keep it like this for a bit and see what happens Me: Cnyoujuststopthepingigbro Mason: Haha sorry. I think that’s the roider protocol. Supposed to send a shiver every time your chipbro thinks about getting bigger. Guess i’ve had one thing on my mind all night. My bad Mason: K should be good Me: This is high-key fucked mason. Mason: Wanna go the gym? Me: fuck…yes. Me: I’m getting my gear ready. See you in 20 mins..fucker. Mason: Oh bro btw [Mason sent a picture]

Me: fucking hell bro. Ok 10 mins

The Model for this one is Alex Price. Check him out. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences and writing, then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server. And check out my file archive on my website.

[thebibliosphere]

ADHD reward system? Please tell me your secret!

My therapist has been helping me find a reward system that works for me, and as it turns out, gold star stickers are really helpful for making me feel like a tangible goal was met, and helps give me that sweet, sweet dopamine release that comes with completing a task, something which us ADHD’ers really struggle to achieve and are already coming at from a disadvantage with our brains regularly not producing enough “happy” hormones as it is.

It was supposed to be “a sticker for every time you finish a chapter”, but after some revision, my therapist said that was too tall of a goal, and that I should pick something smaller. So instead I now get a star every time I finish a 500-word milestone, placing the sticker in my writing calendar/journal thing that I use to keep track of my writing, and ironically, I have started to produce more work than when I was stiving for one chapter a day.

To give you an idea of how staggeringly effective this has been for me, I’ve written over 30k of original fiction in the last week. (75k total if you include my social media and blog stuff, which I currently do not but likely should.)

So this is what it looked like when I was attempting to do a chapter of edits and revisions a day during the month of December 2019 (note: I was supposed to start this in Nov, so you can see how well that worked out for me lol):

ID: A calendar showing days of the month with a shiny star sticker showing a completed task.

And this is what my writing journal looks like now that I’m doing a star for every 500 words:

ID: an image of a handwritten journal with the dates mapped out, followed by a shiny star sticker for every completed 500-word milestone. There are 65 stars in total for the month of January 2020. It’s also tinged by a green light cause I’m doing a chronic pain experiment, so far with positive results!

So as of today, January 8th, with ever star = 500 words, then 65*500 = 32500 words totalled in 7 days. This does not include, like I said, my social media output where I am far more productive, this is just my fiction and some editing work for friends.

(Which side note: this is not to flex, or to say that others should be able to achieve this level of output. I am a professional writer, this is my main job and only source of income. And also, I was forged in the fires of understaffed editing hell where we would be expected to churn out 100k+ a week in edits and revisions to keep on track. I have the time and a learned skillset I have spent years amassing to be able to do this and am working towards a rigid deadline. I simply have not been healthy enough in a long time to manage it, and am finally working my way back up to speed after years of illness. Don’t look at this and think, “I’m not achieving enough”, every victory no matter how small is worth celebrating. And I say that with the utmost sincerity, as someone who spent most of the last 2-3 years unable to get out of bed.)

I’ve also started using it to help keep track of bills and chores around the home. So every time something gets done/done on time, whoever completed the task gets a star on the calendar. This includes Oppy the Not-A-Roomba, who does a very good job of taking care of the house on a daily basis:

ID: an image of a chore calendar denoting various tasks that have been marked off with a holographic silver star sticker, including our robot vacuum who does an excellent job and deserves all the stars. (Our names got blurred out cause ETD doesn’t want his real name out there in the world, so that’s what is blurry.)

This system is useful for several reasons, the primary one being a sense of achievement and continued motivation, and the second, to allow you to review each month to see where you are doing well, and where you might otherwise be struggling.

For example, if I have a bad day for writing or decide to take a day off, I write that down in the calendar rather than leaving it blank, so that I have a record of what went wrong (or right, if I am electing to self care that day and take a day off) and how my overall progress is doing.

In terms of house stuff, this has been especially useful for ETD and myself, as it shows us where we are managing to do a good job with the house, and where our executive dysnfunction issues really trip us up and where we need to make improvements. And I don’t just mean in an “I should try harder way”, I mean you have to actively sit down and be like “hey! What is preventing me from completing this thing” and trying to figure out effective ways to either get around it or resolve a larger issue at hand.

So for us, the biggest thing we tend to miss is doing dishes after dinner, meaning we get left with a pile-up of dishes to deal with first thing in the morning, and my ADHD can’t handle that. It won’t let me eat until I’ve cleared all the mess, but I usually don’t have the energy to clean up if I haven’t eaten, so it’s this awful cycle of ineptitude. We’re doing better with the star reward system, cause it’s showing us our progress loud and clear on the fridge door, but we are both usually so fatigued and exhausted by the end of dinner that doing dishes is just one thing too many for our mutual disorders. So, the solution for this would, of course, be a dishwasher, cause if we had one of those, we could load stuff in, turn it on, and let those dishes get done while we go to bed then put them away in the morning. We can’t afford to do that right now, and we have other appliances we need to buy/replace before we can do that (still don’t have a tumble dryer, or a washer I can access, rip) but it does give us a tangible goal to work toward, and also, the motivation to keep on top of things because it goes from “an endless task with no end in sight” to “there’s a solution for this, we can manage a while longer.”

Now you could be saying, but Joy, I’m an adult! Surely I shouldn’t expect rewards for completing every day tasks that I should be able to do?!

To which I say, neurotypical people get rewards all the time and get an unconscious dose of dopamine/serotonin from their brains every time they complete a task. They’re playing the game of life on easy mode, the gold star is your achievement for completing it daily on Nintendo 99 hard mode. IF THE STICKER WORKS, TAKE THE STICKER

YOU’VE EARNED IT.

[optimusxfloatingxinxspace]

hi to start this off, I'm not the type of person to make posts like this but I feel like you all should know

so to cut to the chase here

if you associate with or follow or even like posts from @/suicidalpotsticker, I will block you on site

tw stalking/tw harm/tw slander/just triggering language, I'm sorry in advance. Look at my evidence screenshots at your own risk, it's too annoying to censor everything.

(underlined words or sentences are links to google drive folders of evidence)

she has been stalking me on here, slandering and demonizing me, saying she wants to harm me, and blaming me for things I had nothing to do with since February of this year. Keep in mind, I am 22 and she is 27. This is all because I basically said heterophobia isn't real and I shared that I have been called alot of homophobic slurs by straight people.

evidence (screenshots are from Nov 8th 2021 before she blocked me again on her new account)

I never bullied her. I didn't run her out of the transformers fandom like she claims, I didn't do any of that actually. I thought I was being really civil during this whole thing. Nor did I send anyone after her or make any burner accounts to get around her blocking me. I was not @/senator-megatron and the other burner accounts and I never asked for people to come to my defense but they did. She was also not "harassed for being straight". If she was, I'm sorry I really am but I'm not to blame. I never told people to do that. I also never asked her for $700 dollars. That was one of the burner accounts, not me.

this whole thing in February started because I and 2 other people reblogged a post she made about that "if you complain about hasbro for being homophobic, then you're heterophobic" and others started reblogging it too with their reactions. As I was gonna give my response to her, because she responded to me in the replies, she then literally deleted the post a second later.

she kept changing her username throughout this whole thing

deadmoontheroist ➡️ thanksforthenightmareshaters ➡️ gotyabitch

she then sent me this ask asking me to delete my reblog of her post because she didn't like all the negative attention her post was getting and I did. You can click on the link and read my response. I was civil as I could be during that time. after answering her ask, I blocked her and she blocked me and then my significant other by association. then the burner accounts started sending her asks, reblogging her posts, and leaving replies. I stayed out of that because I was tired of the whole situation at this point. after all that, she deleted that account and I thought she was gone for good. Clearly not.

I stumbled on her new account on November 8th by accident and found all these posts of her talking about me and two posts about how she wanted to harm me if she ever saw me and that I apparently ruined her life.

That's the reason why I didn't feel safe on here. I still don't.

and to clear the air about what has happened recently, if anyone that follows her has noticed, I was not @/lord-thanos nor was I the other burner account that kept sending in asks.

Alright, that's all I have to say on this matter. Please understand that I don't enjoy drama like this. I hate dealing with it. So, thank you for taking your time to read my side of all this.

[whitters23]

I’m sorry but Logan DOES NOT cheat on Rory. I’m going through my Gilmore Girls rewatch and I’m at the infamous Logan/Rory  “we were broken up/ we were on a break” part. It's always bothered me that, later on, when she finds out he slept with other girls during this time, she tells everyone he cheated on her. And not only that but this fandom likes to use this “cheating” as a big strike against Logan. You can’t escape the “Logan is a cheater” hate. It’s in almost every GG article online, on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and in the comments of most Logan-centric Youtube videos. I’ve had enough! Let’s set the record straight. Time to lay out all the facts. I've watched this show so many times but this time I had to stop and do the actual math. They have their big fight 2 weeks after her birthday. When Jess leaves he wishes her Happy Birthday and says “wasn’t that a couple weeks ago?” “Let Me Hear Your Balalaikas Ring Out” actually airs 2 weeks after “Twenty One is the Loneliest Number”, so it’s safe to assume the fight literally happens 2 weeks after her birthday. Rory’s birthday, according to Google, is Oct 8th, which means the fight happens about Oct 22nd. So they have this huge blowout fight, yelling at each other in a public place, Rory refuses to leave with him and Logan says something like "do whatever you want" before he leaves. The next time we hear anything about the situation is in the Thanksgiving episode. We find out from Rory, that Logan will not be coming to see Lane’s band perform because they are not speaking. She says “I think we just needed a little break. At least I did. It’s more like a hiatus.” Thanksgiving in 2005 fell on Nov 24th. So she's saying she can have a massive fight with her boyfriend and not speak to him for a MONTH because she” feels” like she needed a break and somehow expects that he understands their relationship is just on "hiatus". HOW?! It’s beyond naive of her to think he should just understand her reasoning to why she hasn’t spoken to him. Plus sometime between these two episodes she moved without telling him. His friends helped her move, so he obviously finds out that she moved and she didn't tell him about it. I'm sorry, but any sane person would also assume that the fight was a break up after the other person moves and then ghosts them for a month! If I had a screaming match with my boyfriend in a public place and he moved and I didn't hear from him for a month I would NOT assume we were just on hiatus. The reasonable assumption at that point is that the fight was more than a fight. It was a break up. This is what Logan assumed after the fight and his suspicions were only further confirmed when he didn’t hear anything from her afterwards. You don't need to say the words "we're over" to be broken up. You can definitely break up without having a proper conversation about it. Look at what happened with Rory and Jess. They didn't "break up", he just left without telling her... it was still a break up. How about Lane and Zack when he gets all jealous and screws up their big break. They don’t actually “break up” but you understand what that moment is. You DO however need to have a conversation to actually be "on a break" or for your relationship to be on “hiatus”. Both parties need to know you are on a break for you to actually be on a break. Just because you "think it" doesn't mean it's true. For the same reason, you also couldn’t just decide your relationship is an open relationship, without having that conversation with the other person. So just because Rory “feels” like she needs a break doesn’t mean Logan is wrong to believe that fight was a break up . THEN during Thanksgiving dinner Rory gets a call from Honor and discovers that Logan believes they are broken up.  She is surprised but doesn't call him to fix the issue. She doesn't call him and say "Hey, Honor just informed me we are broken up. I didn't think we were ... do you really want to be broken up?" She just leaves it as it is and accepts that they are broken up. Which means they are officially broken up at Thanksgiving. She knows it. They are over and she accepts it. During “Bridesmaids Revisited” we find out that he sleeps with two of the bridesmaids during the holidays. One at Thanksgiving and and one at Christmas. Both after Rory has already accepted they are broken up. Please tell me, HOW IS THAT CHEATING?! Christmas is another month after she knew they were over! With the one woman it had been a full month since he had heard anything from her, with the other it had been two months since they spoke! If I were Logan I would also assume my relationship was over. And I’d like to point out that waiting a month before you sleep with someone else is not immediately sleeping around. After this she tells everyone he cheated on her. Paris, her mom, Jess. And not just that he cheated on her, but that he cheated on her A LOT. With a whole bridal party! Logan. did. not. cheat. on. Rory. She may feel hurt and betrayed that he was trying to move on with his life during their time apart. Her anger is valid when he lets her walk into a room of his one-night stands without warning her. But he did not cheat on her and it was wrong of her to tell everyone he did. It is also wrong of this fandom to keep claiming Logan’s “cheating” as a reason that he is bad for Rory.

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 8th, Sunday 08:55

Jens was left in the entrance way without any second glace spared, as Lotte run off behind Olivia into the house. No goodby. Nothing.

„Well, I guess, I’ll pick her up at seven, seven thirty-ish?“

„Absolutely fine with us, we are probably back home by five and then make dinner. You could join us, if you’d like. For the whole day I mean.“ Lars was a good man. In his mid-thirties, thick beard and warm eyes. Always patient and calm, and Jens liked that a lot, hoping he could be that much of an adult at one point in his live. He was a stay at home dad, while his wife was working. And honestly Jens really respected that.

Lotte had been looking forward to it all week, Olivia and her mom owned two horses, an hour out of Antwerp and his sister loved it, when she could come with them, usually to take care of the animals. But sometimes, if time and weather allowed for it, also to take them out for a long ride through the country side. And today was such a day.

„No, thank you. I’m actually quite happy to have some time alone for once.“ Jens declined his friendly offer, smiling as he watched the older man infront of him.

„Oh, isn’t Helena home?“ Lars asked surprised and really Jens couldn’t hold it against him, it wasn’t like his mother was leaving the house much, other than visiting the hospital. In the last three month his mom had maybe brought or picked up Lotte nine, perhaps ten times total. Usually it was Jens’s task to take care of it, when Lars didn’t offer to drop his little sister off.

„She is sleeping a lot lately, I think I’ll wake her for some late lunch or early dinner later and use the rest of the time to do whatever I want. Maybe call up my friends for some online play or just relaxing over discord.“ Jens was almost too excited about it and it caused him to feel weird just as much. He pushed it far far down. Today he just asked for spending a sunday carefree and like he used to before last winter.

„Sounds like a plan. The real high school teenager experience, huh?“ Lars joked, though he certainly hold some sadness in his expression listening to Jens. „Well, still, offer stands. At least for dinner in that case.“

„Thanks, I’ll text you, when I’m on my way over.“ He promised the man, patting his phone in his jacket’s pocket. „Definitely text me too, once you are on your way back, so I’ve got enough time to get ready.“

„Sure, will do. Also if you ever need some time off again, it would be our pleasure to have Lotte over once in a while. Or have her sleep over one weekend, if she’d like that too.“ Jens wasn’t prepared to be so affected by Lars’s words, he cleared his throat, definitely keeping that in mind for the future.

„That would be great. With the lock down, it is alright for now, but maybe after. I really appreciate this. Thank you.“

„Oh, no need to thank us. Absolutely, any day.“ Lars waved him off, chuckeling faintly at the lightened up mood of Jens: „I mean, I was 28 when we had Olivia and even at that age I felt still to young and too inexperienced in life to care for a child. I can’t even imagine, how overwhelmed I would have been in my last year of school. I’d probaly would have paniced and jumped out a window. Seriously, you have my fullest respect.“

In order not to cry, Jens grinned at him, shaking his had as he spoke: „Well it is not like I have to raise a baby or toddler, so I guess I got lucky with an eight year old.“

„I guess so. And a clever and polite one at that.“

„All my mothers work, I’m afraid.“ Jens replied shrugging, while he checked for the time on the little clock above the door: „I probably should get moving, I don’t want to keep you from leaving.“

„Ah, yes! Good call, getting quite late. We’ll see you later then?“ Lars asked, opening the door for Jens, who nodded back at him.

„Lotte I’m leaving. I’ll see you later! Be nice, okay?“ Jens shouted into the house, listening for a reaction that came much later than it should have been, accompanied by loud giggling from Olivia. He didn’t even wanted to know what these two were up to. Always looking for trouble. 

„Okay.“ His sister’s voice echoed through the hallway and that was all Jens got to work with.

Lars nodded with him, both of them smirking. 

„That’s it, I guess. Til later.“ Jens stepped out into the brisk morning air, the city still dark and illuminated only by the yellow glow of the streetlamps. Winter certainly could be depressing. He missed summer so much. Partying with his friends, drinking til the early morning hours when the sun came up again. Smoking weed down by the pier at midnight, dressed only in shirts and shorts.

„Enjoy your hours of freedom.“ Lars bid goodby, closing the door, when Jens had reached the corner of the hedge by the street, pulling down his benie over his ears. 

He took out his phone, looking for the broerrrs group chat before posting.

Jens 09:12 : discord later, anybody?

[astroseri]

Full Moon in Taurus 🐮

Oct. 31, 2020,  14:49 GMT

Mercury retrograde has entered libra. So people you haven’t interacted with in a while, may still be returning to your life, especially females, old partners or 8th house people/Scorpios. This transit will end November 3rd. On the other hand you will be reflecting heavily on others and perhaps how you have wronged them or vice-versa. People are really going to be critical of others and society during this time, diving into the depths of conspiracy, power, corruption and how these themes and people take advantage of us.

Chart:

30-Day Horoscope (Oct 31 - Nov 30): Full Blue / Blood Moon in Taurus.

The Sun is striking the Moon from the 8th house which shows that other people’s values may be in conflict with your own during this time. And dark or repulsive secrets about powerful individuals including politicians and magnates will be revealed (Sun in scorpio in direct opposition to the moon). 

You may receive some transformative, shocking or conspiratorial information from people. This has a high chance of being from someone else’s daughter (Venus); especially any girl/woman you are partnered with, exchange with or have mutual agreements with (Venus in Libra). These will likely be about material matters including food, money; but about a lack of those things (scorpio) or it could be about dark topics. 

Sun in scorpio shows that during this time, people will be expressing their feelings and convictions about others and society (conspiracies, rants, exposures). These will invigorate a need to rebel (Uranus is conjunct the moon).

Our significant others (any significant person) during this time will reflect to us our wounds and insecurities (Venus Opposite Chiron). Especially involving our unconscious selves. The opinions and insight of others will help us get a more expansive perspective of reality.

The Moon (collective feelings)

During full moons the sun fully illuminates the moon. The moon is in Taurus, so there is an emphasis on material matters, attachments and basic values. Especially matters of the self (2nd cusp in Aries)—very basic needs and wants. It is conjunct Uranus and Lilith. The sun may be shining light on your guilty pleasures, toxic indulgences, and dark attachments to money. And also your need to break free or have emotional outbreaks. It will push a need to express your values and to become self-sustenant 🗣. 

In general, you will see people’s dark sides around money and resources. If you are a daughter, you may have a desire to find more financial independence from parents, especially a mother, but will have trouble actually following through or putting it into motion. Likewise as a son. Younger generations will feel very rebellious or independent. Meanwhile older folks—two Saturn returns or more—may find themselves in a state of confusion about the state of the world (but strongly reflecting on their individuality and subconscious fears). They will feel the need to rebel against parents as well except it will be subconscious. Their “parents” take shape as the government, authority, traditional media, newspapers etc; the structures their parents left behind. Unlike the younger folks, this will take place in the unconscious. So they experience it as fear or as denial instead of anger. Only the conscious and spiritual older folks will be aware of their inner truth.

---

Conclusion (Finding Success) ☊:

We will be blessed with a clear perception of reality during this time. Revelations from scorpio (power and world secrets), will bless us and assist us in forming our own opinions and feelings about the world (North Node is in 9th from sun). During this time we can get our bearings The opinions and expressions of others can assist us in...

 thinking for ourselves.

This is a strong time for self-expression. Thinking a lot about your values, your freedom and your individuality. Rebellion and uprising will be strong in the collective. No matter which country you’re from, you are likely to see footage of foreign or people from other communities rebelling (Jupiter rules other people, and is in the 11th). 9th is in Scorpio so you will get a plethora of revelations about occult topics and secret affairs from others. On the other hand, powerful people will be churning out manipulative information under the guise of being helpful and of being trusted authorities.

Whichever side you’re on, the other will appear to be churning out manipulative information. If you never developed your own system of belief, you will definitely be confused. There’s going to be many very convinced people and then those that don’t know what to believe. The truth is everyone should be like the convinced people, about their truth. Some will choose to have blind faith (martyrdom). This is not supported during this time. The only opinion that won’t confuse you and throw you off center is what... 

you already think on your own.

---

What to detach from ☋: Because, the shadow side of pisces is being gullible, taken advantage of and confused. During this time we are called to detach from external belief systems. Other people’s belief systems will appear to be the reality (10th in Sag). But the South Node is conjunct 10th cusp and is calling you to leave that behind. It is casting a fog over that area. You are likely to unconsciously copy others or be deceived in terms of external beliefs. Leave behind the idea of “reality”, truth, facts and safety. Instead go with beliefs, feelings, intuition and what matters (values). Much credible information will be revealed about our politicians and the people in power, and for many there will be a sense that we have answers to reality. On the other hand, since what is being expressed is scorpio, there will equally be a lot of manipulative information meant to cloud your perception (this will be from powerful people, politicians, social media companies, and magnates). You will not know what to believe, because the north node wants you to believe what YOU already think and your feelings and discard everything else. And, if needed, express YOUR thoughts 🗣

This month will be a fantastic time to do a detox from social media or to delete it temporarily (I will definitely be doing this). As well as from news and media. Ironically these things will be more tempting than ever... (Scorpio topics are magnetic. You will be very tempted to indulge in the world “tea.” It will be endless.) The more you listen to others’ opinions during this time, the less you will know what to believe, and you will lose faith in yourself. It will mislead you from your truth and sense of stability if you try to seek information right now. The important information will get to you by itself.

The Universe is heavily supporting those that only get their information from what their intuition tells them and from day to day interaction with local family and friends. From doing this you will reveal your truth and become a thought leader! ---  I know we are in a political debate, race war, and a scientific frenzy. But the reality is that the world is in a huge RELIGIOUS frenzy (9th house). In terms of the pandemic, people are going back and forth naming beliefs, not facts (because nobody knows the truth about the virus ♏️)). Both sides of the population are calling each other misinformation. But I highly doubt either side are lying or trying to be deceptive. Coronavirus is honestly a religion at this point. There are atheists and believers. To avoid becoming religious during this time you are supposed to take what other’s say and use it to confirm what you already see to be true (discard the rest)! And not to care about the debate. Have faith in your truth. Never believe things you don’t understand. You don’t ever have to do that.

[seven-oomen]

Yay, I’m glad you’re feeling better!  I’ve still got some time before work, so have a few more thoughts.  :D

First, re: Laura’s age, I’m pretty sure that if she was allowed to legally take Derek (16 at best at the time) with her to NY (which I assume she was or I’m sure it would have been mentioned by either Stiles or Noah), she would have had to be at least 18, possibly 21 at the time (I think that might vary state to state, I know 18 is CA legal age for sex) that they left (and she wouldn’t have been able to access their money if she was wanted for kidnapping - leather jackets and Camaros don’t grow on trees).  Also, if there’s approx. 6 years between Cora and Derek, there’s no reason there couldn’t have been as many between Laura and Derek.  And even if she was young when they left, to leave him there alone for SIX YEARS?  Yeah, she’s definitely got some explaining to do.

And maybe the wolf only physically manifests when he’s by himself?  Or later on, only with pack mates he fully trusts?

And, omg, I LOVE the idea of the other dad being Noah this time (as long as Claudia was okay with it, though lbr, she probably actively encouraged it), if only for the look on Jackson’s face when he finds out both who his other parent is and who his half-sibling is.  XD

Not sure how I feel about Theo as a lost Hale.  I haven’t really seen any episodes with him, so most of what I know is through tumblr and fanfic.  The general impression I got was that in some ways he was the most genuinely amoral NE type character on the show (most of the others skewed much more chaotic to me), which could make for some REAL interesting drama.

Oh man, I can just see them all meeting up at like a library or maybe an empty classroom because they’ve been down to the vault, and they start talking about the evidence they have so far, and Peter just starts going off on a rant explaining everything he’s learned, and in the middle of it he notices that there’s a fish tank in the room and just grabs a fish out of it and swallows it whole mid-explanation.  Everyone is mildly freaked out and doesn’t quite know how to react until finally Noah and/or Chris go over to stand in front of the tank before he passes by again to keep him from reaching in again.  XD

I think that was all for now, I need to get ready for work either way.  Enjoy your game whenever it arrives!  I hope you keep feeling better!  *Hugs!*

18 seems to be the legal age for sibling guardianship in the US from what I could find in a quick Google search. So she would have to be at least that. Which would still make her a teenager herself but she could also have been older. I’m also not saying I agree with what Laura did just that I can see why, even if I think it’s shitty and that it’s absolutely cause for what Peter did in S1.

I honestly think that the only Hale that was acting out of malicious/ less than good intent was Talia herself and that the rest of the Hales were just unfortunate results of their circumstances. Laura abandoned her uncle to protect her brother and take him away, which is inexcusable but understandable in her situation, Derek had to go along with her because he was a minor. They also just both lost most of their family including both parents and (as far as they knew) their sister. Laura’s biggest flaw in this case was not returning to Beacon Hills for her Uncle when the situation was safe for her to do so. Which could have prevented a lot of blood shed. And honestly, I feel like she should atone for that. She messed up big time on that one.

I like the idea of the wolf only physically manifesting when Peter is alone, or later only around the rest of the pack. Bonus points if no one can figure out WHY it is happening. Was it the fire? Is it Peter’s way of becoming evolved? No one knows.

Jackson has a fucking aneurysm when he finds out. There’s a lot of yelling and bitching and whining and snapping. But eventually, when months pass and threats rise, Jackson is also the first to defend Stiles, Liam, and Noah whenever they’re threatened. Malia is far more the type of person to sit back and watch what happens and doesn’t really mind her newfound family too much. She’s still adjusting to not being a coyote.

Claudia definitely knew, actually, I like to think she was the one who pushed Noah to go ask that hot piece of ass out. And although she and Peter had no romantic feelings for one another their relationship eventually evolved into a more best friends with benefits territory where they’d keep each other warm in bed before Noah got home and took care of Stiles together after Stiles was born but they never dated or felt romantic love to one another. 

For this scenario I’m keeping Stiles’s canon birth date as April 8th and putting Jackson’s birthdate as Malia’s on Nov 28th. Because that way Peter got pregnant when Claudia was 8 months pregnant. By the time Peter found out he was pregnant six weeks would have passed, Stiles would have been born and not long after Peter would have been kept away by Talia. (How she kept him away I’m not sure yet, but I’m sure she broke Peter, Claudia, and Noah’s hearts in one fell swoop.)

I do have to admit that was more like an after thought, and I don’t have much with Theo other than; I like his visuals as in looks. So I just also might not do that and just keep it at that.

Honestly I just like writing family dramas with surprise kids, ahhahaha, idk why, it’s just my thing I guess.

And that visual is honestly *cheff’s kiss* Yes XD

The pure chaotic energy lol.

Can you imagine Stiles’s face? Can you imagine Liam’s? Or Jackson’s? Lol.

Malia is just staring at it like ‘yeah, that makes sense’ when you’re hungry you’re hungry. And they have a  hard time explaining to her that NO, You are not supposed to eat random animals like that, Malia. NO matter what Peter does.. 

Yes, he is your father, yes he gave birth to you, but that does not mean you should follow his example blindly.

Hahhahaha and now I see Peter just trying to cuddle after eating a fish or a squirrel but the others are too disturbed by him to let him. XD

poor peter

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E83 (Nov. 5, 2019)

A day late and many dollars short, but we’re here! Tonight’s preroll: minifigs & what I assume are tonight’s guests of Liam & Matt:

which is followed by lazy susan rotating the D&D minis from eldritch-foundry.com for the rest of the cast. Cute! Anyway, Dani is back and ready to rumble! Brian is briefly lambasted for only getting through mumblemumble questions last week, but it’s all smoothed over soon enough and we move right along.

Tonight’s announcements: Undeadwood finale is delayed one week due to some post-production tech issues. Should premiere Friday, Nov. 15. Brian marvels over Matt’s speech about God being just as feral as what he creates. Matt is also surprised. Marisha is apparently the living dice Snitch of both campaign 2 and Undeadwood - everyone wonders if it’s the seat, the chair, the floor, or some innate karmic sense Marisha herself creates. CR is also partnering with Operation Supply Drop for the month of November to support veterans. Matt announces (re-announces?) that they are partnering with Amazon to create a full second animated season, as well as two more episodes to the original season one. All backers will be able to still watch the full season one for free. Everyone is so excited & I’m excited for them. Good job, tiny D&D friend group. More details on the CR Kickstarter Updates page.

And now! Episode 83: Dark Bargains

CR Stats: Liam poured wine for 49 seconds. Brief sidebar as Liam expresses genuine nervousness being on the couch beside Matt; he normally talks behind his back on TM, since he’s not sure if Matt ever watches it, but now he has to watch what he says. Caleb’s smell has been mentioned 60 times. Matt acknowledges that he is clean and washed. [doubt] Nott’s death was the 60th knockout and 8th player death of C2. Half of those deaths were Frumpkin. Liam calls Frumpkin a magic fart with a weak wifi signal.

Our first question (23 minutes in, NOT THAT ANYONE’S COUNTING), reveals that Matt did design the HFB with some “big red buttons” for the characters to press, or want to press. He expected more group approval before some of them were pressed, though (the dreadnought). Liam wanted to clear all the corners of the Baldur’s Gate map. 

Caleb fears Halas because he’s one of the most powerful mages ever, he fears the lab setup/experimentation angle, he still fears the siren song, and is scared of the grains of similarity he sees between the two of them.

Liam knows they’ve continually seen fun stuff come from shitty situations, but Caleb sees the story of the HFB as “you’re not welcome here; this is going to suck for YOU! You thought you were going to have fun here? Fuck you!”

Matt loves those climactic moments though, because he loves it when the dice tell the story. Liam loves that there was a day where Matt rolled terribly in Undeadwood and played it as being embarrassed to be around all these amazing people.

Matt enjoyed getting to dig into the backstory of his world. He’s had references to pre-divergence stuff before, and it was a big joy to give more context to some of the things the M9 have been encountering.

Liam: “[Caleb] is gambling big when he thinks there’s something of worth to gain.“ He’d heard of a long-vanished mage who was messing with time stuff, and thought there might be a chance this was him. Then, once they found the gem, he started feeling this might be the real chance he needed to start messing with the crazy stuff he wants to do with time.

The bound devil was a general temptation, but in hindsight he can see why Jester was drawn to him. Matt often builds scenarios and has no idea how they will react to them (and acknowledges that the M9 did not fully read the poem that would have given them more info here), and sometimes he’s right and sometimes he’s very wrong.

Caleb is very distrustful of other arcanists and always assesses their level of threat to the group. Liam does think Caleb has come a long way since the start of the campaign. “A lot is changing for him. He’s very reactive in a lot of ways. Whatever is laid out for him in the moment that he can take advantage of, or that he cares about...I don’t know. The Betrayer Gods coming back is so much more important, and I don’t know if it’s going to make him let go of that stuff. He has to re-evaluate. He has to. He’s like an addict who has a weak day.”

Brian comments that Caleb seems to be a clinic in self-forgiveness. He wants him to do well, but at the end of the day he wants him to forgive himself. He also points out that it’s possible to get addicted to grief, and he sees that in Caleb; he’s choosing to stay in that space, and we are watching what that does to a person. Brian feels that he forms an attachment to the grief because it is the only emotional connection he has to the family he lost.

Liam nods and says these are things he’s been thinking about for months and months. He does not and did not have the answers when he created the character, and is looking forward to seeing where he ends up. He is not railroading his character; he’s letting the other players affect his character so that Caleb can remain malleable.

Matt loves how it reflects how real people inform the lives and actions of their friends in real life.

Cosplay of the Week: @suchamantis on twitter for a Caleb/spellbook cosplay. It’s gorgeous work!

Brief derailment into Liam pulling a Bane out of his mug and Matt hypersensually smelling the winner’s dice vault. I don’t even know what’s happening.

Revivify in this campaign is being used as a CPR/AED type thing. If they fail, the DC goes up and a longer-form raise dead spell must be used out of combat.

It did occur to Liam that this is the second time his bestie has been killed by a treasure box. Would Caleb make the same sacrifice? Liam says in a spooky voice that nothing is as strong as the twin bond...but when Caleb goes into full-on survival mode where all emotions are pushed to the side, he doesn’t know what would happen. He knew he was with two very magical people who could work miracles and was focused on just getting her up the steps to them. Matt was sure everyone would figure it out and was shocked when no one checked it for traps.

The effect of the diamond on Nott being different from the diamond on Cad was flavor related to the Power Word Kill trap that was on the chest. He built the revivify around that imagery in the moment. A lot of Matt’s flavor text around spells is built around the moment, the characters themselves, their gods, etc. as much as possible.

Caleb is glad to find the signs of magic that may be able to return Nott to a halfling, but was way too concerned about the gem to think about anything else at that time.

Fanart of the Week: @acemasters4 on twitter for a beautiful pastel stylized portrait of Caduceus and mushrooms.

Ashley is almost here! Brian allllmost tells us how many days but refrains. COME BACK ASHLEY.

The Angel of Irons thread has been planned since the very beginning: everything with chains and hunger was planned. He pulled it together with Yasha when he realized they would mesh well. She had created her backstory, and as the campaign proceeded he was able to marry some threads together to make story points. Liam compliments Matt’s ability to weave character & world backstory together; specifically, the crystals in Caleb’s arms were Matt’s idea after Liam sent the first draft of his backstory to Matt. Liam loved it and ran with it.

Everyone is so excited that she is coming back and Matt won’t have to plan for her to be suddenly absent again.

In a moment that shakes my world, Matt is discovered to be wrong about what class of magic Cure Wounds is in 5e. The question is about how Halas’s comment on healing being necromantic is a throwback to older editions of D&D where CW was a necromancy spell, and Dani reveals to us all that in 5e it is now Invocation. Matt chooses to accept this as a deliberate throwback to older editions to emphasize that “man out of time” feel.

Chris Perkins apparently once described BWF’s personality as “Power Word Kill for someone’s joy.” He also apparently did MMA & figure skating, because why not.

Caleb’s reference to Jester suffering in the ruby was purely coincidental regarding her mother. He didn’t realize until it popped out of his mouth.

BWF talks about how he likes where the campaign is at. He has a weird gut feeling that something exciting is about to happen. “I’m finally invested in this campaign after 83 episodes.”

Everyone pauses to talk about how beautiful Matt’s hair is blowing in the wind. BWF tells a story about how based on how they were sitting in Undeadwood filming, Matt’s hair would blow ever-so-slightly in the A/C and people thought they did it on purpose.

Matt had a good time at Blizzcon! He was glad to see people gathering for the Hong Kong protests; he understands it’s a very complicated situation where the initial punishment was way too harsh and caused a ripple effect, but he was glad to see the space where the activism was welcomed in response.

Matt enjoyed cosplaying again for the first time in a long time, both at Blizzcon and as McCree for the Halloween episode. When he was buying adhesive a shop worker upsold him on an inferior product, which is why his beard started falling off during the show. Sad times, Matt. :(

And that’s all! Is it Thursday yet?

[theafshariamin]

My 12 days of COVID.

My experience with COVID-19 or SARS-COV-2 for the first 12 days. I was exposed Saturday Nov 29th at a small gathering of 5-8 friends. After one of my friends at the gathering reported he tested positive. I took a rapid antigen tested negative on Tuesday December 1st (negative) and received my first positive results for a PCR test done on Dec 3, on Dec 7th.

So Dec 3-till now (Dec 14th):

Day 1 - Dec 3rd. Normal day no real fever or symptoms kinda felt like a normal head cold or flu.

Day 2 - Dec 4th. Little fatigue, no fever, tingling sore throat.

Day 3 - Dec 5th. Went hiking- mask/no ppl on trail- it was difficult. My scent left this day- I was in a restaurant realizing that I couldn’t smell the their awesome food. Also it was 60 but my nose felt a tingling numbness bursts of icy sensation- almost as if it’s cold outside.

Day 4 - Dec 6th. lethargy and tiredness, felt cold, had to take a nap, sore throat, barely ate. No sense of smell.

Day 5 -Dec 7th. Got my PCR test result in the morning- left the house to quarentine away from my household. High fever. Sore throat. Brain fog. No sense of smell.

Day 6 - Dec 8th. Tired quickly after a walk no work done. Tired. Sore throat. Hard to breathe when lying on back- had to sleep on side. Rib cage and back pain (around lungs). Minor fever. No sense of smell.

Day 7 - Dec 9th. Energy improvement but still lagging. Breathing was a little bit easier but still soreness/heaviness in the lungs when lying on my back. Tired quickly. Brain fog. No sense of smell.

Day 8- Dec 10th. More imporovement with breathing. Still tired quick. More appetite, soreness of throat mostly gone. Brain fog. No sense of smell.

Day 9 - Dec 11th. Totally breathing good. Head still foggy- no real complex tasks or work accomplishments. Tired(but improving )

Day 10- Dec 12th. Some work tasks easier. Still tired quicker. No sore throat. Some headaches.

Day 11- Dec 13th. Physically more bandwidth for tasks and energy levels are well maintained throughout the day. Still a little foggy. Still no scent.

Day 12- Dec 14th. Feel almost normal- received a negative antigen test today- which should mean I’m not contagiousa- PCR will likely still test positive- but I no longer pose a threat to others. Excited to be back home. Scent is still gone and some fatigue definitely still present. Slight headache.

Basic notes thus far: DONT BE A HYPOCHONDRIAC. Your mind is half the battle with illness in general- think positively for best results.

Also. Advil/ibuprofen/Tylenol all help in reducing fever and severity of illness.

New experiences/sensation:

Brain fog- like a hangover but not going away and preventing you from living your regular life because it’s crippling your ability to process and solve issues.

“Smell Blind”- feeling a numb nose, being able to intake air but it feels numbing bursts without scent.

Definitions for diagnostic test.

Antigen Test- usually rapid, less accurate (still very accurate up to 90%), or sensitive, but show contagiousness of individual now.

PCR test- typically a 24-48hr test that is more sensitive (95-99%), completed by a lab, but does not give results immediately and may show positive even though you aren’t contagious or spreading the virus. The gold standard for diagnosis not for seeing if you are no longer actively a spreading hazard.

Notes:

Going to try and use NAD iv therapy to clear the brain fog.

[lemonjoonah]

Artificially Inclined - Pt 3

Title: Artificially Inclined (A.I.) Word Count: 6K Rating: M Genre: Android AU, Assassin AU, Scifi, Romance (smut), Drama, Thriller Warnings: Violence, Disability Discrimination, Drug Use, Sexual Reference Pairings: Maknae Line x Reader (Primarily Jungkook x Reader)   Pairings (in this chapter):  Jungkook x Reader, Taehyung x Reader

Summary: You took Jungkook on as a project, something to help you pass the time in your exile. How could you have known that he would become such a big part of your life? That he would see you as his entire reason for existence, and the only method for his survival. When an outsider, V, is forced into your life, after learning of the secret that keeps you hidden away, relationships shift and tension grows high. After all, how can you expect Jungkook to share your attention when he’s held it for so long?

A/N: Just a forewarning there is going to be a major tone shift two thirds of the way through this chapter. It’s a POV switch, which is written in true first person (as opposed to the modified version I sometimes write in).  I considered splitting it off into another chapter but in order for you to get the full view of what’s happening I decided to keep it all together. Enjoy!

Chapter 3 - Execution Flaw

Present 9:40 am December 4th, 2054

POV (Y/N)

“I would like you to ask me Noona. If it happens again, I want to help you.”

You find yourself repeating, ‘he doesn’t know what he’s asking,’ over and over in your mind until you find a way to resolve his request. ...Jungkook what do you feel towards me? When you see me what is your first reaction?...

“I want to assist you.”

...Would you ever deny me a request?...

“Of course not Noona.”

...Then I’m sorry but I can’t ask you to help me. I know you say that you want to, but you do not yet possess the components that equate to consent in this matter...  The explanation you give is formal but it’s the best you have.

“And what are those components?” Jungkook’s eagerness weighs on you, it’s as if he expects to receive a simple answer that will clarify everything. 

...There are a few but I suppose the basics would consist of love, desire, and the ability to refute...

“The update that Hyung gave you, will that not solve these issues?”

...I’m not sure Jungkook, I need to look at the coding first. I don’t want to walk into this blindly...

“May I look at it?”

...I think it’s best if I hold onto it for now...

“It would be more efficient for me to examine the software.”

...Jungkook, it would make me happy if you dropped the subject... You cringe internally as you write those words but you find yourself unsure of how else to get him to change the conversation. You don’t want to even risk him even seeing the coding in case he begins the update unintentionally after viewing the programming. He has a habit of latching on to so much information and then integrating it into his system. If he feels like something will improve his capabilities he will seek to upload it.

Jungkook goes silent, but watches your expression closely as you head towards the dining room for breakfast. Your plate is set at your seat stuffed to the edge with your favourites, while the rest of the table remains bare. Jungkook takes the seat next to you as your mind continues to dwell on his proposal.

“You’re not happy.”

You look back to Jungkook, confused by his statement.

...What do you mean?...

“You said that if I dropped the subject you would be happy.”

...Sorry, I was just thinking about tonight... Such a bold face lie, you scold yourself while taking a bite of an apple. Not wanting to meet his eyes you look to the toast rack next for a slice of whole wheat but today you find it empty.

“Would you like to discuss the schedule for the day?”

...Yes please anything to distract me...

“Your brother should arrive home in just over an hour. Followed by your meeting with him regarding your dissertation. Your parents will get in just before the party which will start at 8pm and then fly out again at 11pm. It appears they have also just sent you and Seokjin a joint email wishing you a Happy Birthday.”

Jungkook abruptly stops the rundown while his head tilts in the direction of the kitchen. This behaviour is nothing new, with his improved hearing he can often listen in on things that might be impossible for you to pick up.

He stands up from his seat and moves in the direction he was staring off into. “I’ll return shortly Noona.”

When he opens the door to the kitchen you can briefly hear the ruckus inside, before the door slams shut behind him again.

Jungkook returns a minutes later with an appliance in tow.   

...Jungkook why do you have a toaster?...

He looks down at the small device he’s cradling in hands. “I can fix it Noona.”

After giving you the vague answer, he sits back down and looks ominously at the door, until your head chef bursts forth to address you.

“Keep that mechanical pet of yours out of my kitchen!”

...Jungkook is allowed to go wherever he wishes. If he enters your kitchen there is obviously a reason for him to be there...

“He stole the toaster!”

...Jungkook why did you take it?...

“She was yelling at it and hitting it, I wanted her to stop. I can repair it.”

...If Jungkook wishes to fix the toaster I see no problem here...

“Fine he can keep the damn thing, I’ll just get a new one that actually works.”

As the cook returns to the kitchen you shake your head. You wish that occurrences like this were rare but unfortunately Jungkook has a habit of rubbing some people the wrong way. It’s not his fault, he’s just trying to help them. Why can’t they see that?

“She was going to throw it out Noona.” There is such distress in his voice that your frustration crumbles. You know that he worries that he will be treated the same one day. He only wants to show people the value of technology... even if it is a simple toaster.

...I know Jungkook...

“Why do humans dispose of things so quickly?”

...Because they don’t understand. They feel that it’s not worth their time fix something that’s broken...

“Why are you different Noona?”

...Because to them I am broken too... You identify far more with the appliance in Jungkook’s hands than the women who was trying to dispose of it.

“You are not broken Noona. You are living within the parameters of how you were made. You cannot give fault to the device, only the creator.”

...Thank you Jungkook...

...

After breakfast you begin prepping for your discussion with Seokjin, while also taking a glancing through his correspondence from the past year.

Dec. 7th, 2053

...I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I left you there. I just couldn’t stay, I couldn’t stand the thought of being in the house where we were lied to our whole lives for even a moment longer. I was selfish, I hadn’t considered what you might be feeling. Please let me know that you’re okay. I won’t be coming home for a while but I just need you to know that you are still my sister, my very brilliant sister.  

- Seokjin...

...

Dec. 31st, 2053

...Sorry I haven’t been able to visit. I’ll see if I can get some time off for the Lunar Holiday. I’m glad to hear that you are doing well. I have some fantastic news to share. The first of the new defence model units are coming off the production line. I am taking a couple semesters off from grad school to be involved with their development but they should be ready to go within a year! They never would have made it this far without out your insight, I just thought you, my brilliant sister, should know the incredible work you’ve done.

-Seokjin...

...

Feb. 8th, 2054

...Happy Lunar New Year! And again I must send my apologies. They’ve been keeping me busy here. One day I’ll bring you to the international factory to show you what you helped create. I know that I haven’t been home to discuss your work, trust me when I say that I miss those times too, but you can always send anything you wish to discuss to my dropbox. You may have to explain it to me though because there is no way I could ever live up to your brilliance.

-Seokjin...

...

June 23rd, 2054 (Message has been decrypted by JK0901)

...I’m sure you’ve guessed by now the reasons for the lack of communication, especially with it being all over the news. But I figured you would want me to confirm. There has been some push back with our new units from two extremist groups. The first is a religious organization called S(e)oul First, I would almost enjoy their cleaver name were it not for their antics. They claim that we are playing god, and taking innocent lives with our soulless creations, so their recourse has been to attack out our factories. We have managed to secure our production lines in classified locations but contact in and out must be limited and heavily encrypted, for fear of discovery.

The second group, known as Asimov's Law, has been trying to push that we bind all androids to rules set in popular fiction. I mean really, can you believe that? They have been relatively quiet recently, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they make their strike too. So please, I am begging you, stay by JK0901, and stay safe. I’ll contact you when I can.

-Seokjin...

...

Nov. 25th, 2054 (Message has been decrypted by JK0901)

...Thank you for all of your messages and updates. I can finally make a short trip back home for our birthday next week, although I suppose there will be some business mixed in too. I guess that party that our parents are throwing will also be the official public announcement of the military line, there will be several government officials in attendance. So much for our celebration right?  

But with this trip I’ll finally be able to discuss your progress with you in person. I must say I was surprised to see the direction you are taking your work. My flight gets in just after 10am so I’ll probably make it home around 11 shall we take some time then to discuss your findings then?

-Seokjin...

...

The second that Seokjin steps in the door he wraps you in a tight hug. You can hardly contain your excitement so see your brother again after so long.

“I guess you missed me too?” He laughs as he pulls you away slowly. “After what I did I don’t deserve such kindness.”

You shake your head to convey that all is forgotten.  

“Come on I know you’re anxious to show me what you’ve been up to.”

With your annual report due to the research team in a matter of days you are looking for some initial feedback. The subject matter is so unusual that the lens through which it is presented becomes essential to its reception.

As Seokjin looks over your final paper you watch his expression closely. His brow furrows several times as if in confusion.

...What’s wrong?...

“It’s good I’m just a little perplexed as to how it will benefit the direction in which the company is currently going. You’re discussing possible advancements to affective computing but we already have a good baseline for emotional recognition. It’s expensive research to conduct and I worry that we would see little return if we continued to invest in that area.”

...It could be improved. I spend most of my time with Jungkook and he still struggles to determine some emotional expressions. But this isn’t just about androids seeing and understanding emotions but possibly even feeling them...

“What benefit would that give to the military defense units?”

...You said it yourself that people are having difficulty accepting them. This might help bridge the gap...

“We are not going to cater to extremists, they will never be happy.”

...Then at least for household droids. If I can work with Jungkook to the point where he is able to develop his own emotions. We could apply that to assistant units and such, it could make their productivity increase if they can apply emotional intelligence...

“I was worried about this....” It’s with a sigh that Seokjin continues, “We are not trying to make them human (Y/N).”

You feel a sense of embarrassment as he simplifies your work so bluntly. You can only assume he wants you to see the error of your ways, but why? Why is it so wrong to want this for them? Jungkook makes you feel more human than anyone else, yet you can’t give him the same experience.

...No but I would like them to understand. They should understand what they are fighting, and what they are protecting...

...

“I’m sorry Noona.”

...For what?...

“I’m sorry that Master wasn’t impressed by our work.”

...He just doesn’t find value in it yet. I’m sure once we are successful he will...

Jungkook is currently helping you with your dress for tonight. You didn’t realize when you ordered it that the back consisted of intricate laces that the wearer would need assistance with. But of course Jungkook was more than willing to aid you. You watch him in his progress through the mirror in front of you. He himself had already changed into the same black suit that all of the security units would be wearing.

As his fingers threaded the ribbon through the notches in the fabric they would occasionally brush the skin of your back. After each loop he tugs on the lace cinching it together. This causes you to lose balance several times during the process but he stops to brace you when it does.

...Did you manage to fix the toaster while I was with Seokjin?...

He beams back at you through the mirror, “Yes I did.”

...What was wrong with it?...

“User error. She did not maintain the appliance, she is not like you.” He yanks on the strings of the gown one last time pulling you into him. Jungkook’s face now right beside yours, you watch through the looking glass as he looks at you intently, whispering into your ear, “You take such good care of me Noona.” His fingers trail along the boning of the dress, pressing down and smoothing out the fabric on your skin as they move along. “How does that fit?”

Reluctantly taking your eyes off him, you test the bodice with a tug. ...I think it could be a little tighter...

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

...You won’t, I won’t be wearing it for long. I am just worried about it falling...

“Formal attire seems so unnecessarily complex.”

...Yes, yes it is. It’s amazing what we’ll do to look pretty...

“You are already pretty Noona.” You inhale sharply as he tightens the gown further. “Based on the standards of society you are considered attractive.”

Your hand hovers over the tablet as you ponder if you should press him further. ...What about your standards?...

“I don’t have standards of beauty, but I suppose it could be considered my drive to observe you. If that’s the case I consider you very beautiful.” His hand comes to find your wrist. “Are you sure it doesn’t hurt, your heart is racing again.”

You nod to him, flush with embarrassment.

...

The party is contained to a separate building on the property used for entertaining guests. On one side there is a large elaborate ballroom and on the other there is a corridor filled with smaller rooms, including your refuge in the form of a piano parlor. An evening such as this often becomes a test on how short you can make your appearance without it seeming odd or rude.

Without your tablet in hand you feel empty and anxious. Clinging to Jungkook's arm as if he is a crutch. You have done this so many times before but each spectacle makes you nervous wondering if this will be the time someone figures out your secret before you can leave. As you enter you nod to the several people who recognize you. You find yourself fortunate for your brother, all of the guests have their sights set on him for discussion not just because of his position, but due to his affable nature. Jungkook quickly ushers you to the corner occupied by Namjoon.

One of the temporary wait staff hired for the evening approaches to offer you a glass of champagne. Jungkook turns them away for you to avoid any issue. Namjoon eyes the waiter as he leaves, waiting until the staff is fully out of sight before addressing you.

“You look stunning.”

You cock your head and glower at him. Namjoon says this every year.

“What? I’m still not allowed to say that?.”

“Not to my sister.” Seokjin steps up to your side.

“Seokjin.”

“Namjoon.”

You look between the two men letting out a huff at their cold acknowledgment of each other. Namjoon and Seokjin have never quite seen eye to eye. Namjoon hates him for labeling your work as his, while Seokjin loathes him for not paying the respect his title demands.

Seokjin leans into you while taking a sip of champagne. “They've really outdone themselves this time haven’t they. Our parents thought it would be smart to invite all of my old school mates to make it seem like an actual party, not a publicity event. Pathetic isn’t it? I haven’t seen half of these people for more than 10 years.”      

You nod noting that the room looks more full than usual. You scan the ballroom taking a pause for a moment as you see a familiar face in the crowd. It couldn’t be, is it really him?

Seokjin takes note of your distraction following your gaze. “Is that V? That’s a surprise. Do you remember him too? I heard there was an accident, and lost a good portion of his memory. I’m shocked to see him here, rumors are that he likes to keep to himself now.”

You lock eyes with the guest from your past, for a brief moment you consider that maybe, just maybe he remembers you too. But he turns his head away quickly and without acknowledgment, dashing any hope for you to reunite.

“I have to give the announcement soon. You should be good to leave after that.” Seokjin turns to Jungkook, “JK0901, I’ll leave her to you. I can at least trust that you won’t run off with some frivolous tart while on guard duty.” He smirks at Namjoon after issuing the order, with the obvious attention of giving offense.

“Someone sounds jealous. I could give you a few pointers on how to attract people, but that would require you to be a decent human being.” You elbow Namjoon in the ribs for his comment, but he continues to sneer at Seokjin. “Go ahead, run along now, go take credit for work that isn’t yours.”

As Seokjin leaves you glare at Namjoon, but he only scoffs at your expression. “You know it’s considered rude to give your tutor such a look... you’re lucky I find it amusing.”

...

A herd of people begin to congregate closer to the stage for Seokjin’s speech. You find a couple of them looking to your direction, they seem curious of you but intimidated by Jungkook's presence.

“My sister and I would like to thank you for coming this evening to celebrate our birthday. We also must pass along the apology that my parents are unable to join us at the moment as their travel plans were delayed, they hope to arrive as soon as possible. But that leaves me with the pleasure of sharing official news of the progress we have been making. As of today, we have just shipped out 500 new military units equipped with state of the art programming that will keep us safe for years to come. Human soldiers will become a thing of the past, and soon conscription will no longer be necessary.” There was an uproar of applause. “This has been the goal of our company for a long time but of course we couldn’t done it without your support, so please enjoy yourselves tonight!

As sound of the ovation comes to an end you have your cue to leave. For some reason after a speech the environment always becomes palpable with excitement and people will often try to embrace you with conversation. Hiding yourself behind Jungkook, he edges you to the hallway with several androids guarding the entrance to make your exit.

You are only too happy to be lead back to the parlor by Jungkook. He guides you to your favourite spot in the room, the piano bench. Your tablet already there and waiting for you.

“May I give you your present now Noona?”

You look over to him with a curious interest. ...Jungkook you aren’t required to give me anything for my birthday...

“Neither is Hyung, but you accepted his gift. Will you receive mine too?”  

You nod expecting him to pull something out from a pocket but instead he places his hands on the keys in front of you. The ivory presses beneath his fingers in the form of a familiar melody. It’s an accompaniment, the perfect fit to the first piece he had ever heard you play.

...You learned how to play?...

He nods, “Your music is essential you, I want to be part of it too.”

...But this song, you remember it? I haven’t played it in so long...

Jungkook looks to you as he continues, not even missing a beat. “I can recall everything you do Noona, but the memory of this song keeps repeating for me. At first I thought it was an error, but I believe this is what humans experience when a memory is important to them, is it not?”

You nod to confirm, a tear escaping you as you are overwhelmed with emotion. Jungkook’s fingers pause on the keys to address your tears ...No, keep playing, these are happy tears I promise...

“Will you play it with me? Can I hear your voice with mine?”

The small piano bench encourages you to press your side against his as you take up position. Your fingers quake slightly as they join his on the instrument, matching Jungkook's slow soft tempo allowing your fingers to roll over the instrument's keys.

His hand nudges yours as your notes draw closer together. His sound is a little more forceful than your own, especially for such a piece. This time you place your hand on his, guiding him to caress the keys, showing him how feather light touches can convey just as much. Wondering if he can see how it changes the emotional impact of the song.

Jungkook looks to you again with another question as the piece comes to a close,  “Noona that man Master was referring to earlier, V, did you know him?”

You finish off the last few notes before responding. ...I did. A long time ago, before I met you...

You were upset that V did not recognize you when you met eyes, but Jungkook more than makes up for that now. He will never leave you, he will never forget you. So why is it so hard to wipe the boy with the boxy grin from your mind?

You find Seokjin standing in the doorway with a coy grin on his face. “Mom and Dad just arrived if you want to see them?”

You shake your head and lowered your eyes, “Yeah I felt the same, luckily they’ll only be here for an hour or two and then they are heading out with the Prime Minister.” He nods at Jungkook, “So now you’re training it how to play the piano too?”

Seokjin paces closer to see your answer ...He is acting off his own impulses. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you, they are more than just assistants or soldiers...

“For our company to thrive they can’t be, we need soldiers who are going to take orders not question their leaders. This is for the greater good. You heard what I said, with these units we can save lives, we can end conscription.”

Seokjin’s phone suddenly starts to blare out, he looks at the display with apprehension “Why would they risk a call from there? This line isn’t secure.” He mutters quietly before answering the phone.

“Hello, yes why are you... what... what the hell do you mean it never arrived? How can 500 units just go missing?... Do you know what that shipment was worth?” Seokjin’s anger is overflowing, it’s terrifying to see him in such a rage. “Have them send the jet to Seoul I’ll leave right away.”

He gives out a sigh as he hangs up. “Sorry sis, I’ll have to cut this trip short. I’ll send word soon once I make sure that we can have a secure conversation. It looks like our friends have decided to act out again.” There’s a swift kiss to your check before he exits out the back.

While Seokjin takes his leave, Jungkook stares at the other door that leads to the long hallway and ballroom.

...What’s wrong?...

“One of the guests has passed out, possibly do to an allergic reaction. The units on site have sent out an emergency signal to respond.”

...You should go, they might need your help...

“You’ll be okay Noona?”

You nod and wave him off out the door.

In his absence you returning to your piano calling up a different piece from your past, one you learned and played before Jungkook's time. The song you played for V so many years ago. The song he loved to listen to as he sat by your side... the one that prompted him to give you your first kiss at the age of 13. Seokjin might think V a distant memory, but for you he still holds strong.

You had keep your friendship secret from Seokjin, from your family. For fear of what they would do if they found out he knew of your disability.

V would always tell the guards he was coming to visit Seokjin as a child when really he was coming to see you. It had broken you deeply when he and his family moved away in your yearly teen years. You had heard about the accident too. The one that took his family and many of his memories. You wonder how much he could remember. If he can recall you or your time together, does he know of your friendship that grew despite your defect?

The door pushes back open, you keep playing knowing that Jungkook wouldn’t want you to stop on his account. But It’s not Jungkook who comes to stand by your side...

“Sorry to interrupt.”

It’s Kim Vincent... V.

Maybe it was the song you just played, maybe it was the fact that you were reliving the memory, you couldn’t help but toss aside priority for once, leaping up from your piano and pulling him into a hug.  

...

Asimov’s Law safe house, Seoul 12:00 pm December 4th, 2054

POV Taehyung

“Fuck!” I curse out as our captive’s vomit spills all over my shoes.

Yoongi enters the room chuckling once he sees the reason for my swear. Calling out to the one who should have been in my predicament. “Hoseok get your ass out here! It’s your job to keep him alive until tonight.”

I look back to the man tied to the chair, Kim Vincent. He’s high as a kite with bile now dripping from his chin. I still can’t shake the eeriness I feel when I look upon him. I know that the whole plan relies on our likeness, but having someone who resembles me so closely is unnerving.  

“Did you get everything you needed? I just got the confirmation to proceed for tonight.”

“I think so, we should try and keep him at a better level though, he’s too far gone. I might require any last minute information he can remember but he’s useless like this.” I push the man’s head back proving my point when I release it to lull forward again.

“When we found him he wasn’t much better. You either get this or serious withdrawal symptoms. No one wants an irritable drug addict.”

“Ugh gross.” Hope finally enters the room to look after his charge. “Leave the shoes Tae I’ll find you some other ones. Is Jimin back yet?”

“From his pre-op ritual? No he was out all night, someone must have kept him busy.” I respond with cynicism. The lock on the door begins to rattle and in stumbles Jimin. “Speak of the devil, cutting it a little close aren’t you? Were you out enjoying your walk of shame?”

“I have plenty of time, and he was worth every step. I was sad to see he already left the hotel when I woke up though, I could have gone for another round.” Jimin gives a smug look as he examines the state of the room he’s just entered. “You should join me next time rather than stress here all night. I can find you someone to help relax.”

“I think I’ll pass.”

“Suit yourself.” Jimin strolls off to his room with a hum.

“Yoongi where you able to find any more information on our employer?”

“Nothing. Although I expect they are involved with the S(e)oul First movement. They must be part of something big for the amount they’re paying us.”

“Even if they are as close to the family as they boast?’

“That could have been their motive to get so close, we can’t be sure. Their wish to remain anonymous is not surprising, they’re giving us our chance and letting us choose between the two targets so we shouldn’t complain.”

“I’ll take out both if I can. They may just want to send a message, but I want to win this war.”

“Don’t risk it if you don’t have the window though, the male heir is the priority. She will inherit a large fortune, but he is in line to receive the company. This is going to be more dangerous than you anticipate. With so many units around, your time is going to be limited and our communication almost non-existent. Their security is impossible to hack, you’ll be blind, other than what the informant has given us.”

“Just be ready with the switch once I send the green light.”

...

As I hand over my invitation to the staff they compare my face to the image they have on file, directing me thought the metal detector and into the ballroom once they confirm my identity.

It’s hard to believe the number of people of importance that they’ve stuffed into one room. It’s like they are asking for us to make a move. For god sake even the Prime Minister is here. I tug the collar around my neck pulling it forward, countering the weight of the carbon fiber blade tucked into the back of my vest.

The family’s son is making his rounds as I enter. Not wanting to engage him just yet I move to the opposite end of the room confirming guards and exit points. The memory loss from Vincent’s past accident is a decent alibi but if I can avoid all possible conversation I will.

I soon spot Jimin in a wait staff uniform and have to cover a snicker. He always hates these support roles, preferring to be the one to make the strike, but that assignment falls on me today.

After a long wait I watch as the heiress steps into the hall. I had expected her to be just as exuberant as her brother but there seems to be something different about her. Instead of greeting guests she simply confines herself to a corner with her date... no wait, that must be her guard. I almost didn’t recognize him for the android that he is, had it not been for the suit that he’s dawning I might have continued to think him human.

Now that I know him to be a unit I can see the additional signs, how he stands perfectly still, how his eyes dart about the room. But when he looks to the heiress, that is when he appears almost human again. I’ve never seen that expression before in an android, it’s almost as if his whole existence relies on her. He watches every move she makes, and clings so desperately to her side. This could be a problem, what if he doesn’t leave with the others...

I step over to Jimin and grab a glass of champagne from him. “Restroom, two minutes.” I can’t be seen talking with him out on the floor unless I want to draw suspicion to him after my task is done.

I check under the stalls to find it all clear. This is the only spot I can be sure I won't be recorded or overheard.

“That unit...”

“I know, bold of her to bring her sex toy into public don’t you think?”

“Jimin, if he’s not on the security programming he won’t leave her.”

“He’ll leave, he has to be linked to the system in some format.” Jimin pauses in consideration before continuing the assessment of our situation, “That other man though, do you think he’ll follow them?”

“The tutor? No I’ve been told he usually stays until the end of these parties, despite the fact that the heirs always take leave early.”

“She seems like a piece of work, doesn’t she?” Jimin chuckles darkly, “Maybe we should change targets. The son at least thanked me when I offered him a drink, she didn’t even bother to say a word, just turned her head away like I was nothing.”

“I would look away too if a flirtatious brat offered me a drink.”

“Fuck you, she would be so lucky.” Jimin bites back before letting out a long sigh, “This is exhausting waiting on these people, we should have just poisoned them, we’d be done by now.”

“Too risky, and too many variables.”

Jimin moves back to the door. “Fine we’ll stick to your plan Once both of the heirs leave I’ll send out the package, watch for the recipient and then give you a three minute warning.”

...

The son’s speech was cringe worthy, but not as bad as the crowd's reaction. I watch as they are enthralled by him and this perfect family. The end to conscription, that’s their goal? I highly doubt that.

I observe the daughter leave surprisingly early since she was the last to arrive. Exiting down a hall with two guards posted at each side preventing guests from entering the private area.

A half hour later the son takes his leave too. With the arrival of his parents he is relieved from his social duties, exiting down the same hall that his sister had gone.

With his departure, Jimin works quickly to deliver his distraction. When the the bait is taken he gives his signal by offering me another drink.

I station myself close to the hall’s entrance as the minutes pass. A women at the far end of the room begins to cough and gasp as if she’s choking. Just as planned, just as programmed the units leave their post. Prioritizing the health and safety of the guest, but there's still one more I am waiting on. The heiress’s personal unit that left with her, in the seconds that pass my anxiety increases. When the android finally steps out into the ballroom I steal off behind it down the now vacant hall.

I can hear music different from the tone of the ballroom I had just left. A dreary piano melody playing from my intended destination. Clair de Lune, well if that’s the last song he wishes to listen to I can’t deny it to be a good choice, it seems that we at least agree on something.

My hand pauses on the panel as I put an ear to the door. I find it odd that there are no words exchanged between the siblings only the notes of the tune. I push open the door slowly as to not draw attention immediately. The daughter is the one playing the piano, but where is the son, where is my ideal target?

She keeps focused on the music as I draw closer. I stop once she looks up at me a grin spreads throughout her face, but nothing can prepare me for the hug that follows.

V is Seokjin’s friend so why is she having such a reaction to me? None of this makes any sense.

I quickly pull her off of me, “Sorry I was looking for your brother Jin. Is he still here?” I’m careful to use his nickname that he went by in school to maintain the act. It was one of the few things that I had managed to drag from Vincent about him.

She looks absolutely broken after hearing my words. Her mouth hangs open ever so slightly her lips trembling as she shakes her head.

“Can you tell me where he went?”

She remains silent much to my dismay, a sadness continues to fill her expression. I begin to curse her out in my mind, if she tells me I will leave, if she tells me I don’t have to fucking kill her instead...

She takes a step back knocking over the piano bench in the process.

My time is running short, that drug that Jimin had someone serve the women will soon wane.

With no other option she will have to do. “May I wait here with you until he returns?” I try my best to remain cordial as I taking a step towards her, I reach behind to find my concealed blade. Why isn’t she answering me? I notice her eyes dart over to a tablet resting on the piano stand. I thought it would display music but it looks to be half of a conversation.

...What’s wrong?...

...You should go, they might need your help...

My hand stops before I draw the dagger out into view. Why would she type out orders? Why isn’t she saying anything? Is it... is it because she can’t? This is not what I expected, she is not what her family presents her to be. She is not perfect... she is not without flaw...

...

A/N: Whew! Lots to digest in that part, if you have any questions, about the world building, or characters, feel free to send me an ask!

[lambourngb]

Behind the Scenes- Last Year’s Wishes

@zuluoscarecho - ““Oh man you have been busy! I’m glad the writing Has been going well for you. I would love to hear about your process when you get a chance if you’re keen. Like whether you plotted it out, whether the whole fic came to you (more or less) or how hard you had to work to fill in the gaps to get you where you wanted to go, whether you’re a “push through” kinda writer and just sit down and do it or whether you scribble stuff down all day and then type it up at the end or whatever. Many questions I have”

Oh boy, these are great questions- my approach to writing has changed from how I started “Last Years Wishes” and how I’m finishing it. First of all, I was out of practice. The last long story I tackled and finished on my own was in 2002-2003 on ff.net  (for a moment I thought it was 2012-2013 but I just looked it up and still can’t believe it was that long ago, hahah) Then I wrote a follow up with a co-writer that ended …poorly due to stuff outside of writing with that person. I hit a very bad depressive cycle and didn’t write again until 2019 and RNM.

The idea came after I watched some true crime story in August- I think it was “Murder Comes to Town” - which is all small town population less than 10,000 gets hit with a salacious murder. I immediately thought about Michael, and first I thought he could be blamed for Max’s disappearance, but then I remembered how visible Noah was to the town, and I was off plotting. Carina said on twitter- oh lord what a loaded sentence that is - that we don’t know when Alex was at the Airstream or what he had to say- which fine, but that made me think about juggling the time a bit, letting the police show up first, then Alex go to the wild pony, THEN MAX, and yeah boom! Conflict! Alex knows Michael wants to be with someone else, but he just gave him an alibi. They are stuck! Fuck Alex’s whole life, amirite? That part of the idea came all at once.

I wrote the first draft of the scene for Tumblr - August 8th - started it before work when I like to write- kept writing once I got to work (bad employee!) posted it and as the comments and likes rolled in, I kept writing. First day was like 6,000 words.

Then I didn’t really touch it for 2 weeks. I kept adding stuff here and there, using WIP Wednesday to motivate me to share a bit. In one month though, the story was at 10,000 words by September 12. Mainly because I just wrote as it came to me, and let my brain just fuck off on Tumblr or reading other fics. I wasn’t really serious about it. Six weeks later it was 15,000 words by the end of October. This time I thought the reason I didn’t have more progress on it was because I didn’t have the practice of finishing a story- so I attempted at the very beginning of October to do Whumptober. I managed to write 2 stories - truth (to the people we love) and If You Regret (What You Know).

So two stories finished, I went back to Last Year’s Wishes and used everyone working on NaNo for November to buckled down. I wrote out a rough outline of future scenes. I made a point to write, if I could, every day something. I do try and write in a linear fashion, but if I couldn’t move forward in the story, I would go back to previous stuff to add in descriptions, put in some introspection- sometimes a whole scene needed to be inserted, then I could push forward again.

The story grew from 15,000 words on Nov 1 to 28,000 words by Dec 1. Nearly double in size. And the more I put my ass in the chair to write, the easier it became to focus. It will never be easy to focus for me- I really like scrolling on my phone, chatting with other people, etc. But I had to build a muscle in my brain from the ground up with no real belief that I would succeed because I thought depression and anti-depressants had broken my brain. But Malex kept me interested.

By the time December rolled around, I made a goal of finishing it by New Years, but then my outline kept growing. I kept thinking about the underlying plot, I kept thinking about how big the communication divide was- I couldn’t just say “they talked, they fucked HEA!”. As December came to a close, I realized I had written 32,000 words in the month of December but I was only half done with the story. So while I was disappointed I hadn’t hit my goal of being done, I was very pleased at the progress. The story was around 60,000 words by the end of the year.

January- I increased my goal of 1,000 words a day, to 2,000 words a day.  I really believed I could finish it in one sustained push. I wrote nearly 40,000 words in the month of January- bringing it to just under 99,000 words but…it still wasn’t done. My assistant quit. I got sick. Progress stuttered. But I felt like the end was in site- so I contacted  betas, two of which came through- tasyfa and Maura - and kept writing. I thought it was just 20,000 words to go, and since I just wrote 40,000 in one month, I could easily write 20,000 2-1/2 weeks, right????

February- beta comments were great, I started releasing it publically in chapters, and then the feedback started rolling in- and instead of motivating me forward, I started obsessing over the next thing people would read- I wanted it to be perfect. I started inserting new scenes, fleshing out other areas- driving my betas crazy I think- because I kept poking at it. I wrote those 20,000 words easily as the story was getting posted, but they were all in the existing frame of the plot. New stuff … that didn’t really start happening until March.

Another thing that I realized was my outline needed to be supportive but flexible. Originally (which remind me once it’s complete) but I had some different ideas for how the last few chapters were going to go, and I had to let those narratives go because it no longer felt natural to me with the narrative I had established.

Even now I have 5 scenes outlined for chapter 22, but as I started writing it this morning, I am leaning toward blending it into 4 or 3 scenes. Oh- my scene should have a standalone point to accomplish, and if that point isn’t clear or can be accomplished in another way, then it gets moved or blended. I don’t really jot things down on paper- but I have two documents- the writing doc, and the story doc. Writing doc has the outline, I always write with my outline heading just below my cursor so I can keep looking down at my goals and construct the scene from there. The story doc is where I cut and paste it into the whole thing. Sometimes as I scroll to find where I am in the doc, I will add something or edit something, before putting in the next bit at the end.

This is what chapter 18-19-20 looked like on Feb 9th in my outline : [1.. After their pathetic attempts to decorate Alex‘s leg was starting to bother him. Michael took one look at him and advised that he remove the prosthetic. Alex protested mildly about being seen that way. Michael reassured him that Isabell not only knew but didn’t care.

1a. - Isobel and Kyle arrive- she found him in the grocery store attempting to leave with the last baked ham - Mom working a double, Rosa was going to midnight mass with Arturo and Liz- 1b. Isabell and Michael have a quiet talk that Alex overhears while he changes and removes his leg for the night-. He discusses talking to Maria and reframing some of what Alex had said. 1c- walks past them to the kitchen with Kyle]

[2.  Isobel and Kyle show up  to the cabin for Christmas Eve- Isobel sleeps over. Michael offers the spare, Kyle takes the couch, Alex objects to Michael sleeping in the airstream. ]

[ 3. Alex wakes up to an alert on the day after  Christmas Day that gets an alert about someone at the cave. Finds Michael staring at Jesse and not Max.. Why did you think you were like him- that night that Noah died. What did that mean. It means he was ruthless about his agenda and so am I. I’ll do anything to protect you. Michael is silent and closed off, but follows him back to the cabin - knowledge from the ship piece ]

ONE MONTH LATER on March 10 the notes looked like this based on how the story looked: [2.  Isobel and Kyle stay in the face of the weather- Isobel sleeps over. Michael offers the spare, Kyle takes the Airstream ,Michael volunteers himself to sleep with Alex - Michael quietly explains he isn’t going to have a conversation with anyone afterward, Christmas gift exchange- Michael gives him the handprint- remnant from the console and his mother, sharing the intensity - they have sex  ]

[ 3. Alex wakes up to intense sorrow by Michael via the handprint n the day after  Christmas Day that gets an alert about someone at the cave. Finds Michael staring at Jesse and not Max.. Why did you think you were like him- that night that Noah died. What did that mean. They discuss Alex’s family and the future- do you think you would ever forgive them? I’ve been mad at Max, but if he came back today I would take him back, What about Flint and what he did ? Do you think he’s sorry? knowledge from the ship piece- soul mates, forever tied together ]

Err— I’m long winded, so did I answer your questions? Feel free to ask more!!