#clouds gets therapy
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#sorry im so fucking miserable all the time btw#believe me im also sick of it lol#hoped once i was in therapy i wouldnt need this outlet anymore#buuuuut here i am#its a long time to wait between appts#a whole _week_ lol#god im gonna miss it when it ends#this has been an original post#personal spewage#clouds gets therapy
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Some tmagp doodles because I had time, finally
Working on designs and failing horrendously
#i am so tired though#im straight up not gonna do anything for like a week#SUMMER BREAK HELLO#i am so glad i get to relax for three months#but enough of that#tma#tmagp#gwen bouchard#i have a thing for bouchards#annabelle cane#mr bonzo#the magnus protocol#tmagp fanart#idk what im doing with these designs tho#hate drawing lately#a break in the clouds has been my therapy and escapism i love it#just finished act 2
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That’s it that the game
#the elf talks#ff7#someone get sephiroth into therapy and poor cloud a restraining order#I lvoe them desperately
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I just wanted to post some of the upcoming mini-print WIPs especially since I missed last month's print due to school getting hectic. hopefully I can finish and print these by the end of May, but of course I now have a full time job and also I still have to make an animation for class (Energy levels are low but the expectations being hoisted onto me arent). In addition I'm going to have to find a new subscription platform to set up for a monthly patch, because I do not trust Patreon anymore.
#chlloroyote#linoleum bitch#just some updates#furry doodle#furry#I should most definitely go see a therapist#but also getting therapy was made for people who arent afraid of someone having power over them#and also for people who dont find setting up an appointment more stressful than just struggling#lassitude and worry are hanging over me like dark clouds#but Im still smiling because of all of the queer critters and my friends#also jegus I need to start setting up a T shirt store
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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if you come out of a Blitzø analysis post feeling like you understand more abt your behavior you should get a free therapist for at least 5 years
#anyway guess who either has bpd or at least has a fuck ton of behaviors that match ittttt#also guess whos emailing psychologists near meeeeeeee#fellow Blitzø kinnies get therapy if you can you need it 😭#clouds posts
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okay so im rewatching the blade pv before i sleep and????
i think thats both il and dan heng depicted here, showing that despite the changes both he and blade have undergone, blade still associates the two as one even if dan heng is technically not the same as imbibitor lunae ;w;;
and their images overlap in his view much like when we see pre-struck blade in the pv reminiscing il, which then transitions into current blade staring at a figment of dan heng running him through with his spear like mentioned in the nameless honor light cone "nowhere to run"......
NOT TO MENTION THE YIN YANG CONTRAST OF LIGHT AND DARK, GOOD AND EVIL WITH THEIR PAST COUNTERPARTS??????
i am unwell end me now i hate their lore so much. (<- she says, like a liar)
#may the stars guide you <3#drop kicks all versions of them and hyv across the stratosphere i cant do this rn#aha hyv i hope ur willing to pay for my therapy ^^#and the fact i plan to get both him and il and jingliu to call the team the high-cloud quintet (or quartet i guess now) bc i enjoy sufferin#anyway gn. i will be dreaming of blade and dan heng and the atrocity i will become when 1.2 drops with them together#as well as their future lore bombs i will never be mentally nor emotionally prepared for :’D
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*to the tune of on and on by vixx * i need therapy, lalala lala therapy! ^-^
#i get a webtoon can't have too much dialogue but. we need more conversations and therapy sessions like 😐#someone help this boy rn THANK YOU!#lost in the cloud#dara.t
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I would never have thought that playing Disney: Dreamlight Valley would make me ship Merlin and Ursula but here we are they're definitely a divorced couple you cannot change my mind
#psa i did not buy the game fuck disney#my nama bought the game forever ago and i had to do some finagally bullshit to play it because disney is fucking stupid with their weird#cloud save id thing whatever it was a whole thing of figuring out how to play on my acc on my switch w/out buying the game#the answer was just to transfer “primary console” control to her acc on my switch - now we can play it at the same time#the bad news is she bought literally every dlc EXCEPT FUCKING OSWALD. LIKE IM NOT GONNA ASK HER TO BUY IT BECAUSE AGAIN /FUCK DISNEY/#BUT IM SOBBING CRYING ROLLING ON THE FLOOR MY GUY THATS MY LITTLE GUY PLEASE GOD PLEASE MY LITTLE GUY I WANT HIM PLEASE GOD SOBBING#talk talks#disney dreamlight valley#dreamlight valley#ursula#im not tagging merlin because all the suggested tags i dont recognize ans i fear its like a character in an underground tv show#also mother gothel is like exactly like my mom and i hate it i completely forgot that i related to tangled too much#overly sheltered kid with a narcissistic hoverparent mom? noo totally not. my life FUCK#but i caught myself going “oh shes not so bad shes fine to live in the valley shes just bad to her kid :]” and then had whiplash#that is probably why everybody except me likes my mom isnt it. god i hate charismatic narcissists#not gonna get into it if anyone with npd follows me thats fine its just that my mom refuses to go to therapy or improve her actions at all#its like entirely a personal issue your a person too whatever whatever its 2 am#i am aware pds are stimatized especially npd but i think living with an emotionally abusive narcissist for 10+ years is enough to justify a#/bit/ of a negative bias. i dont want to encourage treating narccissists like shit but i do think people need to be held accountable
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lol, new fear unlocked: disappointing my therapist when i have bad days -_-
#this has been an original post#personal spewage#clouds gets therapy#like idk. i told her this week was gonna be tough for me bc of my period#but i also said last week was better than expected and she was so happy for me#and we were both so hopeful that this week would be better too#and then it. wasnt#well it wasnt all bad#but yesterday and today have sure sucked lol#im just so. mad#like. this is so unfair#i have a concert tonight that ive been looking forward to _literally all year_#technically since last year#but i have cramps and i couldnt sleep and its pouring out and i dont have rainboots and i just. cant#or dont want to. whichever#and i know its okay. i know ill get another chance to see him live (tonight wouldve been my 4th time seeing him anyway lol)#but i still just. want to go#i wish i wasnt in pain and exhausted and depressed and just. like this#i wish i wasnt like this#edit: was just reminded that this is actually the SECOND time i had tickets to see him live this year but couldnt go#fucking sucks man#at least i did get to see him live on my birthday#that was. the best
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thinking abt the ways ive heard people describe me and going 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💘💘💘💘💘🫶🫶🫶🫶
#i was in group therapy for a while and we had to do an exercise where we had to describe ourselves and then ask someone close to describe us#and the therapist also asked us to describe each other#i said i was sweet (i dont really THINK of myself as sweet but other people often tell me i am so i was like sure lets go w it)#and then one of the ladies who was there was like no youre not sweet youre SUPER sweet and i was like oh??????????#and then another girl was like: she's like a cloud. it was so cute LMFAO#it was the same girl who said she thought my voice was so sweet and soft sometimes she couldn't focus on what i was saying when i talked#and i dunno. everyone else in that group was a bit older than me and the therapist was like well#besides being a good person i think youre really intelligent and articulate for your age and i was like well.....im not that young LMFAO#idk its just weird to think about all the positive ways in which others perceive you yk?#like ive never EVER thought of myself as intelligent. if anything quite the opposite#even here i remember getting a couple of anonymous asks from ppl telling me that they thought i was cool or funny#or that they liked my sense of humor and i was like me???????? cool????????? funny???????????? no way dude#then there's been others from people telling me i was cute or sweet which is what i often hear from others but yeah#ive never considered myself particularly cute or sweet?????? i think im just a decent person lmao#anyway. much to think about.....#sorry for the rant if youve read everything you deserve a kiss (with tongue???? jk. unless??) 💋#raquel speaks
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Just comparing and contrasting some stuff from OG and the Rebirth trailers here, don't mind me…
Sephiroth Ha, ha, ha...... I want to take you back to your real self. The one who gave me the Black Materia that day... Who would have ever thought a failed experiment would prove so useful? Hojo would die if he knew.
Cloud Hojo!? What does he have to do with me!?
Sephiroth Five years ago you were... ...constructed by Hojo, piece by piece, right after Nibelheim was burnt. A puppet made up of vibrant Jenova cells, her knowledge, and the power of Mako. An incomplete Sephiroth-clone. Not even given a number. ...That is your reality. Ha, ha, ha......
Tifa Cloud... Don't listen to him... Close your ears! Close your eyes!
Cloud What's wrong, Tifa? I'm not affected by it. ...I wasn't paying attention to him.
Tifa All that talk of Hojo constructing you is a lie. Don't we have our memories together? Being kids together, starlit nights...
Sephiroth Ha, ha, ha... Tifa... Why are you so worried and scared by those words? Hmm... Shall I show everyone here what's in your heart?
Tifa turns away from both him and Cloud.
Sephiroth Ha, ha, ha... You look like you're not feeling well.
He disappears.
Cloud ...Tifa? Is Sephiroth right?
Tifa Cloud...
Cloud Why are you so scared? Don't worry about me. I'm all right. No matter how confused I am, I'll never believe a word that Sephiroth says. It's true that sometimes I can't figure out who I am. There's a lot of things muddled up in my memories. But, Tifa...... But you said, 'Long time no see, Cloud' right? Those words will always support me. I am the one you grew up with. I'm Cloud of Nibelheim. No matter how much I lose faith in myself, that is the truth. That's why you shouldn't be so scared. No matter what anyone else says to me, it's your attitude that counts...
Tifa No, that's not true, Cloud......
Cloud What's not? Aren't I the same Cloud you grew up with?
Tifa That's not what I mean... I don't know how to say it... Cloud, I need some time... Just give me a little time...
A flash and Sephiroth appears beyond the fire.
Sephiroth Cloud... Don't blame Tifa. The ability to change one's looks, voice, and words, is the power of Jenova. Inside of you, Jenova has merged with Tifa's memories, creating you. Out of Tifa's memory...... A boy named Cloud might've just been a part of them.
(http://www.yinza.com/Fandom/Script/30.html)
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Cloud I saw you lying there. I figured it was too late.
Tifa Wait. What are you implying? That I died? That I’m some kind of imposter?
(FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH – First Look Trailer)
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Tifa I was wondering. What’s Cloud been doing these last five years? Where’s he been?
Aerith And you’re…asking me this?
Tifa This is gonna sound crazy, but as far as I know, Cloud was never in Nibelheim five years ago.
(FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH – Summer Game Fest 2023 Trailer)
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Sephiroth They say she’s a monster. That she can peer inside you, into the very depths of your soul. That she can become those you hate. Those you fear. Those you love.
Sephiroth You know that I killed her (Tifa). So, who is she?
(FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH – Summer Game Fest 2023 Trailer. Tifa name drop specifically from the Japanese version)
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Especially the jump from No matter how much I lose faith in myself(...) it's your attitude that counts... to yeah i think ur a fake scares me. In a good way.
#cant wait for sephiroth to keep gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing his way through life#and for cloud to Get Therapy and a dope bike#ffvii rebirth#final fantasy 7 rebirth#ff7#ffvii#Final Fantasy VII Rebirth#how do i tag this
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‘the most crucial skill that a good drinksmith needs is listening… drinksmithing is all about having conversations with your guests’
tea house owner!reader energy for real
#my mind shot straight there when siobhan said this in the hsr event#hey guys#what if i just steal the concept of the event and write a continuation?#the reader does spy on people and accept bribes for jobs blah blah blah#but they also offer free therapy over tea!#(but only if they like the person if course) (everyone else is getting eavesdropped on)#…i started writing this as a joke but hey it could be fun#if i ever write a continuation of that fic i might do something like that#high cloud quintet members coming for therapy after baiheng dies#reader helping couples talk through problems in their relationship calmly#i’m a sucker for characters who are very elusive and sneaky and cold but when it comes to it have a heart of gold#‘yes i will expose your enemy’s business blah blah but hang on let me help this lost child find their parents first’#‘oh you’re not being patient? you think your rivalry is more important than this child? actually you can keep the money and leave thank you#[turning to child] ‘now tell me where you last saw your parents’#and with their connections from the various dealings they’ve had around the xianzhou they’d be really good at dealing with these situations#and with regards to the jing yuan aspect of things i firmly believe he needs somebody with kindness and warmth in them to fall for them#reader can’t all be bribery and dodgy deals#imagining him coming to the shop one day to get some information they’ve gathered or whatever#and they’re like ‘shush not now i’m hearing this girl vent about her shit partner’#or doing something nice#and he falls even harder#sorry i have gone on an absolute tangent here#i don’t know what demon possessed me#maybe i will write a part two who knows#that reader would certainly be a fun one to flesh out#r’s random thoughts
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Ohhh i see, having my mental state being only supported on chansaw for like 2 years is what made me so emotional towards other ships with chandler and veronica being with literally anything else
#oh no wodner the state of fandom is so fucked#more than half us r clinging to a thread of sanity called an otp#maybe we do need to touch more grass n get therapy#getting really into clouds
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in light of it being a more character focused volume, here are the top 3 things i want to see in rwby volume 9:
yang getting called out for her self sacrificial tendencies
yang getting called out for her self sacrificial tendencies
YANG GETTING CALLED OUT FOR HER SELF SACRIFICIAL TENDENCIES
#yang in v2: decked by giant mech! no biggy!!#yang in v3: jumps blindly into scary red sword man to protect blake!! loses her arm!!#yang in v5: takes the relic instead of raven so that salem will target her instead!!#yang in v8: GETS KNOCKED OFF THE BRIDGE AND (BASICALLY) DIES TO PROTECT RUBY#theres something about 'you were never the hero' being the line that plays over the yang cloud scene in the trailer#yang has this innate protector-ness and heroism to her and it must be ADDRESSED#her and ruby both with this unhealthy mindset i sWEAR#ruby mental breakdown 2k23#THIS ENTIRE TEAM#they all need therapy#rwby#rwby9#yang xiao long
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you should be allowed to hunt the government for sport i think. like you specifically
you are absolutely correct anon
#ignorance cloud on#like not to get too emotional in my gen tag but i cant afford food. i just cant. i cant afford to eat#ive been relying on food stamps since i got this job#and now i dont even have health insurance--which i need in order to refill my prescriptions and do therapy#soooooooooo its like.....guess ill kill myself! lol
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