#i still don’t like him /j
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I need to fuck Billy to Bukiin i’m so sorry i gotta ride it like a mechanical bull
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The tragedy of shen jiu isn’t that he got bodysnatched and everyone likes the new guy better, it’s that he could’ve found friendship and genuine connection were he not so committed to being an asshole to everyone and pushing people away
#svsss#shen jiu#I love him don’t get me wrong I think he’s fantastic#no one else is out here w random beef w a 12 year old#I j think ppl forget that like . no one knows sy!sqq isn’t sj#they think he’s still sj and like him despite the general dickishness he displayed in the past
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Would
(go to one of his theatrical broadway-wannabe concerts or perhaps a late night gameshow comedy hour sketch performance. I’m not too picky I’d be willing to pay money just to see him perform anything period)
Yea I felt like doing something silly in order to break away from the dread of finals week coming up. What can I say? I’m a professional procrastinator. But man oh man it was a good call this time around—I mean just look as this scrumptious masterpiece right here. Time well spent for sure. Genuinely I believe to have cooked with it chat /j
This is a version without the added stars by the way. And the second one is obviously just raw image reference/the original “bereal concert meme” source. I was very tempted to put Puzzles in that same exact outfit—however I decided it would be overly time consuming to make two separate versions. Maybe once finals are over I’ll be able to do that :)
#Obviously the abrupt ‘would’ was only referring to watching him not alluding to anything else don’t read into subtext or innuendos teehee#I’ve officially gone bananas over this pathetic twink#what does this say about me? honestly I’m still trying to figure that one out chief#are the rumors about me listening to Billie Eilish’s ‘Lunch’ continuously while drawing this true? I won’t tell :)#sorry once again I find myself in the delicate situation of wondering if I want to be that man or if I want to be with him#or if I simply wanna admire him from afar and cheer him on like the rabid fan/stan I have become#all the questions running rampant in the mind of an aroace who somehow wound up with this fruity man as a comfort character#ladies and gentlemen welcome to the mind fuck (cue the song ‘Mind Brand’) /j#….sorry I think I’m getting progressively less coherent with these tags every time I post lmfao help#it’s just so fun writing whatever nonsense comes into my mind first#smg4 bereal concert meme#mr puzzles bereal concert meme#bereal concert meme but Mr. Puzzles smg4#bereal concert meme mr puzzles#yea okay think we are in the clear with all the oddly specific tags—now time to see if my art finally makes it to Google images lol#hplonesome art
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Boy I sure do hope I don’t give Sprinkles a similar fate as Terrance! :D
Is this a threat? Yes. Yes it is.
#my art#smg4#smg4 au#smg3#smg4 apprenticeship au#smg4 terrance#smg5#sprinkles#SMG3 still mourning his son y’all#he’s just good at hiding it#he’ll break eventually though#I don’t give him enough trauma /j#gonna be doing more with Sprinkles in the coming chapters after the Puzzle Park arc :p#I like making parallels between SMG5 and SMG3#and SMG6 and SMG4-
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I don’t understand it when people say that Carrie was also the problem bc she was anxiously attached bc like …. maybe she had a moment or two but for the most part it was absolutely Big being such a selfish prick and then justifying it w “ohhh I have commitment issues bc my last marriage fell through” umm ur a 45 year old BABY actually
#and like at every turn Big was so awful to her and she would justify it w “I’m also the problem”#Girl no#like when he refused to show her in public for the longest time#Or when he literally dropped a bomb that he was going to Paris out of NOWHERE#Refusing to meet her friends#Talking to her on his schedule and his schedule only#Being like “I wanna do things at my own pace” okay but that’s not how a relationship comprising two ppl works#And then marrying a brown eyed brunette socialite#The antithesis of Carrie#Was a transparently bad Big moment in the show but still#The show treads around in circles w regards to how to view Big#Bc they obviously wanna paint him as an unhealthy avoidant and also downright selfish asshole#But they also wanna be like “he’s j too scared to give her the keys to his house bc of his other relationships”#Like he literally played her like a FIDDLE#only to have them end up together ????? I will never understand that ending#I think it’s such weak writing#In real life avoidant men who also don’t want u that much won’t end up w u I fear#I don’t really understand the narrative weighing Carrie w the responsibility of adjusting to Big’s “trauma” and fixing him#He did that for her maybe once in the show but even when he’s being affectionate to her it comes from#A selfish place#Like he wants her attention or wants sex or whatevs like it’s never bc he’s truly in love w Carrie
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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the polycrew,,,, hehe
I assume you mean the Queers. If so, behold! The Queers! They eepy.
#still wakes the deep#caz swtd#suze swtd#billy chamberlain swtd#finlay swtd#fin swtd#such a good boy I love him#finlay hates these idiots /j#she likes suze slightly more cause she don’t take no bullshit#unless it’s from her boys then by all means. be stupid#Billy had a nightmare and now’s he’s making sure his partners don’t have any#request#digital art#I think Billy would like silly socks. a quilty pleasure if you will
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idk maybe it’s just me but i really do not give a flying fuck nor do i want to ever find out what crowley’s angel name was or if he used to be one of the other archangels
because he isn’t that angel anymore. he’s crowley, the not so demon but definitely not angel.
and i will admit that this opinion is informed by my trans self reading crowley as trans/enby. because to me finding out crowley’s angel name would be like finding out a deadname, and every time i find out a deadname of someone i know (or even someone i don’t know) i cringe. it makes me physically recoil because that is not and will never be information i need to have. i want to know your name as it is now, and if it changes tell me and i will use your new name.
i like to think it was incredibly intentional on neil’s part to have angel crowley not introduce himself as anything. because we don’t need to know what angel crowley’s name was, it is unimportant information.
i just don’t need to know what is effectively crowley’s deadname because tbh i think anthony j crowley is a sick ass name as is
#idk if this is a hot take or what but it needed to be said#(it didn’t need to i’m just opinionated)#this feels like a very capital T Trans take to have simply because i don’t think cis people under deadnames the same way trans people do#which is fine like it’s not your experience why would you understand it like that#but i still think it’s worth saying#like why do we need to know what he was called before?#it’s not like we’re gonna start calling him his angel name now#hell no one calls him crawly anymore because it’s NOT HIS NAME ANYMORE#but i digress#good omens#crowley#anthony j crowley#good omens 2
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y’know at this point i’m not even upset about new fictives coming into our system, but could it at least be a cool person for once? why is it always some random fuckass side character??
#balthazar i’m talking about you specifically big dawg#out of everyone from supernatural#like brother i’m sorry but WHAT#not sam? not dean? not castiel? not even JOHN? nope#random angel that we didn’t even relate to or anything#he’s just fucking here with that stupid ass accent#thinking about this bcs we’re finally rewatching spn for the first time in probably 10+ years#and i still don’t get it man#like WHY IS HE HERE he doesn’t even do anything but chill#what is his purpose#why did our brain photocopy him#x emery#emery rambles#fictive stuff#fictives#flux speaks#system stuff#this is half joking but not fully#fr what the fuck they used to be heavy hitters when we were young at least#now our brain goes ‘that funky little freak with .8 seconds of screentime is what we need’#i hate it here /j#for balth
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do you have any danger days headcanons?
i do :3 off the top of my head
- party is an artist!! the girl loves learning from him. he draws roadrunners a lot bc he thinks they’re cool
- jet gets migraines a lot. it fucking SUCKS
- jet also hogs up all the shampoo and conditioner they’ve got, he will Not let those curls be ugly. the others can cope, im on her side
- the girl made them all bracelets and they refuse to ever take them off
- cherri wears cowboy boots, he gifted a pair to the girl
- kobra wakes up like UNGODLY early but so does the girl so they quietly hang out every morning
#asks#danger days#i have A Lot but like#they r So specific to the little world dykobra-kid and i have been making for like#a year#so i don’t even know how much even makes sense to everyone else lol#and some are really just to make us giggle like poison being Great at animal tracking for hunting#but also very good at being still and taking a nap with whatever curious animal approaches him. shoutout to u tracy tortoise#also im just SO shy Actually interacting w the fandom like this lmao#the cats are a hahah funny but what if my hcs are ass. they’re going to ghost me /j
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GUYS i have to give a six minute demonstration speech for my oral/interpersonal communications class later AND. AND like two weeks ago when we were planning it i didn’t know what to do it on so my teacher said something art related since she knows i like to draw. so i chose to. to give a speech in front of like 20 other people in my grade on HOW TO DRAW ANTONNNNN AND I’M FREAKING OUT BECAUSE THAT SPEECH LS TOFDAY AND I HAVENT PRACTICED IT AT ALLLLLL LMAO IM SO FUCKED
#AAAAAAAHHHH#this is gonna be so fucking chaotic i’m kinda excited#i don’t know what i’m doing!!!!#to be fair some of the speeches so far have been. really bad. so i’m not too worried about it#i’ve been going to school with these people my whole life so its not like they’re complete strangers#but still#I HATEEEE GIVING PRESENTATIONS#i will probably have an anxiety attack or something lol#yikes#i am not prepared#and i think that’s actually hilarious#because i laugh when im nervous. a lot#wyrms says stuff#IM THE PROFESSIONAL PROCRASTINATOR#WISH ME LUCK 💥💥💥💥💥💥#also if i fuck it up j can just make up the grade by doing another speech it’s not a big deal my teacher doesnt gaf#also i chose anton because i’ve been drawing him like every day for months so it’ll be easy drawing him in front of people#also i will pretend he’s in my mind hyping me up so it’ll be easy
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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my life after leaving the scream fandom
#im sorry#i still love the movie#but god damn im so sorry the fandom was soo toxic half of the time#so much ship discourse#and stuff like that#sorry guys#i dont care#i really really dont care if someone ships stu and sid#genuinely i dont#who the fuck does it hurt#like i DID ship stuilly#but annoying ass people turned me away from it#and now i just scroll away from anything even mentioning a scream ship#sorry guys ik im a terrible homophoe for not shipping these two (not real) people who aren’t in a (not real) canon (not real) relationship#and for acknowledging that shipping them (who are not real did j mention that) with a woman isn’t homophobic#because they don’t have canon sexualities#DID I FUCKING MENTION THE SRENT REAL#NONE OF THIS SHIT MATTERS GUYS#NONE OF IT#i also dont care if some write billy x female reader#wow guys! ewww stinky women in the scream fandom 🤢🤢 everyone knows WOMEN cant have crushes on billy loomis!!!#nooo thats sick and evil#you’re terrible#literally womp womp scroll away#he’s a fictional character it will not kill you for people to ship themselves with him fucking hell??
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I never like talking about specific things I know in the Japanese Getter community due to language barrier and at the end of the day it’s not my business what goes on in there but I gotta say the amount of times I’ve seen fan art of new ryoma without his god damn melanin will never not make me feel like this old ass image
#meg text#I was gonna make this more thoughtful but dawg I’m so overstim I can’t think#but it’s just a safe place to talk about this since no artists from the fandom are here lol#also not bothering to tag#I don’t like using the word *white washed* for this cause I don’t think new ryoma was meant to be dark skinned#given he’s usually lighter and new likely had him tanner due to it’s washed out color#but also my friend told me this still counts as white washing soooo it’s complicated#I get why people don’t color picked but the amount of artists I see who remember hayato tan but not ryoma is INSANE#HAYATO SHOULD BE A PASTY BITCH ANYWAYS YOU THINK THAT VAMPIRE GETS SUNLIGHT?#/j i actually prefer all the boys with a tan but ryoma having one makes the most sense#but they’re like “nope” and he’s the brightest fucker you’ve ever seen
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now I need to make human vox….
#izzy.txt#I just don’t wanna give him dragon ball hair bc of his quills LMFAOOOO 😭😭 it’ll still be a bit spiky just it can’t be that lololol#I love db hair in db lol it just wouldn’t fit vox imo 😭#back to the drawing board#aka my brain#you are all gonna flip out over how hot my ocs are with me AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT /j /lh
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I’m just so… I don’t want jaehyun to eventually alter the way he acts or presents himself due to backlash from fans (in and out of the bonedo fandom) regarding his “loudness” and energy. it doesn’t cause harm to him or his band members. he’s relatively good at reading the room and adjusting his seriousness (like sometimes I think people think they chose the bonedo leader willy nilly lmao) and he’s not oblivious or unaware of his bandmates and others. like anyone else, I’m sure there’s moments when he might need help refocusing or w/e, but I have yet to see anyone who is warranted to have an opinion (ie: knows him irl) react negatively to his personality? like he’s not the first idol to be talkative. he’s not the first idol that might run around a bit. he’s not the first idol to make a lot of jokes or flirt with half his bandmates. it’s not a new personality. it’s a little different than what we see in other leaders but again, it’s not “new”. loud people were not invented in 2003. and over time, maybe he’ll mellow out a bit. it happens. or maybe he’ll remain as he is, that’s cool too. and as a leader, I kind of hope for the latter bc the industry will work them and burn them out and I hope they’re able to maintain their youth and softness towards the world. that not everything is a battle or a fight, that the job while a job, can be one they continue to enjoy to do.
#to delete probably#from behind the door#like i don’t know to explain how i feel protective of jaehyun’s personality and those with similar ones#example is j@ckson w@ng (sorry i don’t want this in his tags) and how he outward personality has sort of#shifted in more recent years to be less known as the more loud and goofy kind of guy#to this cool guy or whatever#and that’s a bit… generalizing LOL but it’s an example#mark and bb discussed it i believe#contrasting.. you have mj#who is still the same mj imo#and like personally have whatever opinion you do yknow?#like it gets annoying? that’s fine it happens#hell I do not think I’d survive a day with jaehyun#love him to bits but that would be a lot#and guess what? I don’t have to lmao#i’m not in bonedo LOL#AND NETIRHR ARE YALL ON THE INTERNET#like just step away#take a break#turn off the volume#like… it’s one thing to be like he’s loud and it’s another thing to use it as something inherently negative#like ‘your personality is cringe’ like noooo don’t tell people that#idk how to explain it…. i guess it’s really on my own upbringing of#if you don’t got something nice to say don’t say it#y’all can comment on your group being quieter than other groups and how you love that#without dragging in some other name to say they’re annoying and the opposite#actually i take back what i said in a previous tag#you can probably address a person being loud or talkative or just… a different energy level#without calling them annoying i think#WHY DID THIS BLOG TURN INTO ME RANTING
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