#i should probably look into getting that new therapist
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New Rehab Program - Pt 4
A/N: Hey if you wanna get tagged, just tell me! Cuz life makes me update slow, rip
Warnings: Mention of blood, mention of you being badly injured, mention of death, also you hate the Twilight saga
During the next couple of days, Shigaraki was oddly 'clingy'. Not physically, but he was always following you around like a dog or cat.
You were watching tv? He was there, sitting on the lazyboy, playing on his phone while sometimes, looking at what you're watching too.
In the kitchen? He was there, sitting on the kitchen island, still doing his own thing though.
The only times he wouldn't follow was when you were in the bathroom, or your bedroom. During those moments, he'd stay in his room. WITH HIS DOOR OPENED. He never closed it now!!
You didn't really understand that sudden switch in him until you decided to examine his behaviour.
From what you had observed, he was clearly grateful to be freed from this collar. That was an easy guess though because the day when you removed it, you put it on the counter. Guess what? Next day there was only a pile of dust left there.
It made you smile, because in all honesty, you would never put it back around his neck. He wasn't a wild animal or caveman with rabies.
You quickly realized that, him following you around, was his own way of saying that he appreciated your presence. Though, knowing his personality, you knew he'd tell you the opposite.
He was still quite silent but at least he didn't ignore you when you asked or talked to him.
You were more than glad to see all this progress when all you did was being kind and patient to him. Even if there was still lots of work to do.
"She should dust them both" Shigaraki hissed at the tv.
You had been bored and had decided to rewatch Twilight. Tomura was still on his phone but he was clearly more focused on the movie. You didn't like this saga but you watched it to see his reaction, to see if he disliked the franchise like you. Was it some kind of therapy? Not really, it was more like bonding time. So far, his reactions were hilarious but you kept your laughs inside.
"Why does Jacob has screen time? He should be a background character only" The white haired man hissed again.
At this point, your show wasn't Twilight anymore but Tomura.
"Why does Jasper keeps staring like a fucking moron? I want to kill him." He went silent for a few seconds. "Is Bella a fucking zombie? She has no emotions" He growled before adding. "If she's a zombie, that would fucking explain why she smells weird to them"
Your laughs escaped your mouth without your consent but you couldn't stop them.
Shigaraki snapped his head in your direction and raised a brow. "Why are you laughing?"
"Sorry it's you- You're just funny, 'cause I agree with you" You wiped your eyes, sighing with a smile.
"Was this a therapy?" He growled in a very low and menacing voice.
"No, I was bored and thought it could be fun" You chuckled and shrugged. "I like judging that saga with my friends"
"I'm not your friend" Tomura frowned.
"Maybe, but it's still fun, right?" You smiled.
Tomura narrowed his eyes as he stared at you, probably trying to decipher how the gears in your brain worked.
After that, he stayed silent for the rest of the movie. Even if his mouth was shut, you could read his body language. He hated that movie and that was an amusing sight.
During the week, All Might, Eraser Head, Tsukauchi and some of your bosses showed up.
You were all sitting at the dining table. Shigaraki and All Might sitting at both ends, right in front of each other. As if they were kings of some kind. Well, Tomura was trying to look intimidating but All Might? He probably just took the first chair he spotted.
As a normal civil, you'd think that everyone was pissed at each other but as a therapist or as someone very observing, you knew how to decipher people. All Might was nervous, Eraser Head was on his guard, even if he hid it quite well, your superiors were angry, Tsukauchi was calm but intrigued while Shigaraki was fuming. He hated those people.
What about you? You were nervous, sitting there in the middle of this silent war. And also because you removed Tomura's collar without anyone's permission, oops. Oh and with the help of All Might on top of that….
Tsukauchi spoke first. "I will ask some questions to begin"
You nodded and dared a look in Shigaraki's direction, he was glaring at Tsukauchi. He knew he couldn't lie, because he knew the cop's quirk and that must be pissing him off.
"Have you two been manipulated to remove his collar?" The officer clicked his pen, turning to you and All Might.
"No" You and All Might shook your heads and Tsukauchi wrote something down before turning to the 'ex-criminal'.
"Have you manipulated them?"
It took a few seconds before Tomura only shook his head, clearly pouting at the officer's quirk. Tsukauchi could detect lies.
"Were you trying to hurt your therapist before your collar reacted?"
"Yes" The white haired man narrowed his crimson eyes.
Tsukauchi didn't seem surprised. "Why?"
"Because they were pissing me off"
Ha, yes, Tomura's famous excuse over anything really.
The inspector noted something before turning back to you. "Has he tried again?"
You shook your head.
Tsukauchi nodded before looking at your superiors, telling them that his part was done.
One of your employers sat down in front of you with a menacing frown. "Now, why did you remove his collar? Do you know the risks?"
Ah, there it was. The one million dollar question. You gulped as you felt everyone's eyes on you but not Tomura's. He was glaring at your superior. But why? Wasn't he interested into what you were about to say?
"Because it's inhuman, because he is NOT a wild animal with rabies. He is NOT a do who has to be put on a leash. He is HUMAN. No one should treat a human like this, it's unfair and cruel. Sure he probably did-"
"Nah, I never put a fucking collar on anyone. I just used handcuffs on that young brat and even removed it from him before he fucking decided to attack me."
"We're not talking to you, Shigaraki" Eraser Head frowned at the man.
Shigaraki only raised both his hands in a 'defensive' way and scoffed.
You decided to continue.
"Yes I know the risks. He can be dangerous, he has free will, like any of us. But I strongly believe that for example, forcing someone to eat when they don't want to is a very bad idea. Just like how you guys forced him into this therapy and forced him to wear the collar."
Everyone stayed silent as they registered what you said.
Oh fuck-
Maybe you spoke too much?
But before you could worry, a huge hand was softly put on your shoulder, All Might was smiling at you with pride and comfort in his eyes.
He was probably thinking that you were the perfect therapist for Tomura. That choosing you was the right choice.
You had only under 5 years of experience and yet, people liked you because you made the therapies different. And for some reason that you ignored, people had started talking about you and it had eventually landed in All Might's ears.
So when he showed up at your workplace, you were speechless. He had asked you, THE symbol of peace, had asked you to help him.
That day, you led him to your office, thinking that he needed therapy. He wasn't there for himself, but for Tomura Shigaraki.
At first, you honestly couldn't understand why he wanted to save the 'apprentice' of his now deceased, arch nemesis. Well no, All Might was known to help countless of people no matter who they were. But then he had revealed you something intriguing. Nana Shimura. Tomura's biological grandmother. Who was no other than All Might's mentor.
Again, you were speechless so you had let him continue. The way he spoke about her, she was a mother figure to him. It clicked in your mind. He wanted to save Tomura because he was family to him, because he felt a mountain of guilt on his shoulders for not being able to be there for the ex-villain.
Frankly, you weren't supposed to let your feelings decide as a therapist but this case touched your heart. You wanted to help. But also, if a criminal as bad as Shigaraki was open to get into therapy, wouldn't that mean he wasn't as bad as we think? Plus, that meant you could help fixing society, right?
You sighed with a smile and glanced at the white haired man.
The villain was staring at you as if you had just confessed that you were an alien sent on Earth.
You chuckled. How great would that be? No more crimes. Just peace and happiness. Sure it probably sounded like an impossible dream but hey, if you could save THE Tomura Shigaraki, you would be saving thousands of people, right?
Your superiors and the Pro Heroes discussed together about this whole 'collar removed' situation.
They weren't really happy with this but the heroes (mostly All Might), had taken your side. You were quite surprised that Eraser Head and Tsukauchi seemed to believe in you too. Again, hella surprising, but much appreciated.
You watched them leave with their cars as you stood in the doorway. Once they were away, you walked back inside and closed the door.
Tomura was still sitting at the table, staring at nothing.
"Are-" You remembered that he disliked being asked if he was okay. "Tomura? You're staring into the void"
He didn't react.
Hm, what could you do?
Ah right! He was obsessed with video games, from what you observed. Hell, you didn't even need to be a therapist to find that out. You decided to speak his 'language'.
"If you keep doing this, you'll start glitching and crash the game"
Tomura finally glanced at you with a scoff. You smiled, happy to see that it worked.
"Never been this close to Eraser Head.." He mumbled.
"Are you a fan?" You genuinely asked.
Shigaraki's face scrunched up as he frowned. "No"
You nodded, you weren't going to ask more so you only headed to the living room.
And just like the past few days, he followed a few seconds later. He plopped on the couch and grabbed his phone while you turned your favorite console on. You picked a new game.
After an hour, you weren't far into it but it had piqued Tomura's curiosity as he often looked up at the TV screen. You were struggling with a boss.
"Don't"
You didn't listen, you were stubborn when you had an idea.
"Dodge! Just- Damn it! What the hell are you doing??"
"I AM dodging!" You replied back.
"No you're not, hand me that!" He leaned towards you and reached for the controller. But you stubbornly refused and stretched both arms away from him, while still holding it.
Did you forget that he was also stubborn? Yes, yes you did. He almost climbed on top of you to snatch the god damn controller.
"Tomura! I can do it on my own! Go away!" You tried pushing him back to his place with your foot but as you both stretched further to keep, (or grab) the controller, you dropped it on the floor.
"HA! Dibs!" The white haired man jumped off the couch to snatch it.
"No!" You quickly grabbed his shirt and he fell on you.
It hurt, you both groaned then immediately froze when you realized, with wide eyes, how close your faces were from each other. You both stared at the other for what seemed like an eternity. He leaned his face closer and closer until your lips were just an inch away. You were short circuiting and shut your eyes hard, panicking a little.
Suddenly his weight was gone.
You opened your eyes, letting out a breath that you'd been holding. Your heart was also pounding, ready to break your ribcage while Tomura was sitting on the floor, in front of the tv, like nothing happened. He didn't seem to give a shit either because he had snatched the controller when you closed your eyes.
But- What happened?
Your cheeks were red and you felt like the room had suddenly become warmer.
Seriously- What the fuck just happened??
Blood
Everywhere
All around you
Shigaraki was holding you tightly against him, screaming in rage and agony. But why?
It was your blood
Your stomach had been shot and you were unconscious… Or dead? In his arms.
He was in pain too, but not physically. He only had small scratches. But his heart? It felt like someone had stabbed it
The young man closed his eyes as he cried. But why was he crying?
And when he reopened his eyes to look at you, the first thing he saw was his pillow that he was clutching against him. It quickly vanished into dust so the villain sat up, confusedly looking around. He was in his bed, right next to his gaming desk. He was back home, but how? Oh right, a dream. The white haired man glanced at the dust on his bed. He didn't care about his pillow right now.
He stood up, Tomura couldn't understand that weird dream. Why was his heart pounding in his chest? Why was his eyes felt itchy? He didn't like you. Did he? No, no he didn't. It was just a stupid dream. Maybe it was that weird werewolf vampire saga that messed up his brain, nothing else.
And yet, even if it was 2 am, he instinctively walked to your doorway. It was never closed for some reason, so he looked at your silhouette sleeping softly.
The bloodied scene came back to his mind and his heart restarted to ache. He couldn't understand, you were there, safe and sound. Sleeping peacefully. Nothing bad happened to you.
He decided to go back to sleep, but first, he needed to clean his bed.
Why did he needed to check up on you? It was only a dream so of course you were fine. His feelings were dumb, he frowned.
What the fuck did you do to him?
A/N: OOOOOOOH THE FEELINGS HAVE STARTED TO SHOW HEHEHE >:3
Pt 3
#mha#bnha#mha oneshot#bnha oneshot#shigaraki#shigaraki tomura#shigaraki tomura x reader#shigaraki x reader#tomura shigaraki x reader#tenko shimura#my writing
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What do your spirit guides want to tell you?
For this reading, I used a deck with only Major Arcana, to get more general but "big", powerful messages. This is what your spirit guides want to tell and advise you really bad.
Arts are from volume covers of Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun.
REMEMBER
I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.
It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.
If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and that’s okay, too.
Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason for making it.
1 ~ 2 3 ~ 4
PILE 1
Temperance - The High Priestess - The Sun R - Back of the Deck: The Emperor R
Maybe because the first two cards in my deck present women, plus especially because of the High Priestess, but what comes to my mind immediately is “femininity”. This is an encouragement to lean more into what is traditionally feminine. The more I look into the cards, the clearer this message is - there’s Temperance, the card of balance, there’s the feminine High Priestess, and there’s the masculine Emperor in reverse. Temperance asks you to balance your life more. Work-life balance, logic-emotions balance, as well as how you act around people. Your spirit guides suggest trying to work together and be a team player, both Temperance and the High Priestess tell you this. The High Priestess is also an invitation to trust your intuition more, to tap more into your spirituality. Maybe your spirit guides would like to talk more to you, and they wish you would let them. With the Sun in reverse, they suggest you should have some fun, do what brings you joy, and listen to your inner child. The Emperor in reverse suggests you could have a not fully healthy relationship with your traditionally masculine traits (I want to make this clear - I always write “traditionally” for a reason, think about it as your relationship with what society expects of you, with gender stereotypes). Your spirit guides want you to reflect on how you look at your relationships with other people. Treat them as your equals, they’re neither better nor worse than you. It won’t resonate with everyone, of course, but I keep having this image of someone working an office job who is kind of bitter and so focused on one aspect of their life that they forget the little joys of life and don’t treat their coworkers/subordinates nicely. So, to sum it up, reevaluate your priorities, find some time to be alone with your own thoughts, with your hobbies, and try to treat other people equally. And give your spirit guides a call.
PILE 2
Temperance R - The Hierophant R - The Hanged Man R - Back of the Deck: The Fool
It’s interesting how, just like in Pile 1, the first card is Temperance, but this time in reverse. Similarly, the message here is to reevaluate what you give attention to and balance your life, but it’s even more urgent. It’s not wise to spend too much on something or to focus on only one aspect of your life, ignoring other ones. Your spirit guides tell you to put some time into self-healing and taking care of yourself. Maybe some home spa would be good, nurturing both your body and mind. Next, the Hierophant in reverse is all about making your own path, challenging the status quo, and not caring as much about the approval of others. Your spirit guides encourage you to find your own voice and speak your mind. Do what is right for you. The reversed Hanged Man tells you it’s time to stop living your life on autopilot and actually start doing something. Think about what you would like to do, make a plan and do it. The Fool at the back just highlights how much your spirit guides want you to embark on a new journey. Don’t be scared of new beginnings. This whole reading emphasizes how important it is to make some changes in your life, and while doing so, keep in mind what will make you happy. You, not someone else. You are the master of your own fate, nobody else can live your life for you. Your spirit guides are with you, so stop merely existing and start to live. It may be scary at first, but you’ve got it!
PILE 3
The Star R - The Magician - The Hermit - Back of the Deck: The Wheel of Fortune
Right off the bat, there’s a lot of gold and some brown, white and blue color-wise, which makes me feel you should take a closer look at your finances and your earthly matters, but also don’t forget about the more spiritual things. Another interesting thing is how the Magician and the Hermit have a similar pose, both with their arms raised, as if creating something out of thin air or launching an attack. Now, getting to the cards themselves, you had a harder time, huh? The Star in reverse tells me that you could start to doubt whether there is something good for you in this life, whether some higher forces are there for you - and here your spirit guides are, screaming that yes, they are here for you, they always are. So nourish yourself, remember what’s important for you and what you want to do, and do it. The Magician says that, once you get in the right mindset, you have everything needed to manifest your desires. Stop self-loathing, stop procrastinating, it’s time to do the THING. Your passion project, your art, your book, your dance. With the Hermit, your spirit guides encourage you to look inward and take some time for yourself. As I wrote at the beginning, both the Magician and the Hermit in this deck have similar poses, they both create something, and they lay here next to each other. At the same time, there’s this interesting contrast, as one is more dark and blue and kind of nocturnal, while the other is gold and bright. I think these parallels are here to tell you how important it is to both think and act, as only then will you create what you want. Only thinking about your goal won’t take you anywhere, only acting without thinking can lead to a catastrophe. With the Wheel of Fortune, your spirit guides once again tell you that you’re not alone and everything is temporary, nothing lasts forever. You may feel hopeless right now, but “this too shall pass”.
PILE 4
The Moon - The Chariot R - Strength - Back of the Deck: The Hermit
This pile is all about being with you yourself. Your spirit guides encourage you to have some alone time and not act recklessly. The Moon is about your fears - your spirit guides encourage you to deal with them and stop running away. However, it’s more about healing your inner child and doing some shadow work than about dealing with them in a more physical way. Write a journal, think about therapy. There are some issues here that you need to work through. Tap more into your intuition and be patient, as you may not have the full picture right now. Next, the Chariot and Strength are both about, well, strength - but the Chariot is more about the outer strength and will, while Strength is more about the inner one. And here we have the reversed Chariot. Both of these cards together emphasize how you should work on your self-discipline and commitment. You have this kind of quiet strength for influencing and persuading without raising your voice. This kind of confidence and strength is not as visible as the loud one, but it isn’t a reason to underestimate you. The Hermit at the back yet again tells you to look into yourself and spend some time with your thoughts. Your spirit guides think you can do a lot of things once you start dealing with your fears and insecurities and realize you can be powerful in more ways than one. Your inner strength is your power.
#divination#pick a picture#pick a card#pick a card reading#cartomancy#general reading#tarot reading#free tarot reading#pick a pile#spirit guides
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i am so not with it today
#personal#idk whats goin on but whatever it is im exhausted abt it#keep having random bursts of anxiety that then fade into exhaustion#i should probably look into getting that new therapist#idfk
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not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it
#i really said “okay big performance in the city square let's make this work” and i did but absolute fuckery of the manager just made me...#and she also used to complain about being an opening act-- like come on that's a nationally-renowned band and we're not there yet 😭#we used to fight a lot though so ack i really should have taken that as a red flag#but i was 14 and stupid 🤷♂️#being solo way better uM i shouldn't say this yet but i got a commission today audhauagah i don't even have a portfolio#fuck guys i'm so so so nervous from big changes in life because uM god i just came from actual hell with various things working to make me#kms#but uH we're uH not too keen on that anymore atm and uH it's probably going to all fuck up after i share that i have good news in life#but yk what#let's keep challenging god#i know he hates me#but we will not be defeated we will strangle him by the tie#AHHHH help me i want to get into music again pls pls pls pls pls#anyway back to my old band manager#she was known for being a shitwad in the scene anyw but i was young and stupid as i sais#and i defended her and rationalized her behavior because “we're friends right”#i'm starting to get why my mom is wary of people i get to know#i'm tbh a fucking idiot i would never admit that elsewhere (nah i do) uM my brain is bouncing off the walls#i took a bargain with 7pm coffee and look where it got me#i was also getting up there in my 5 days of uni absences agsgshags#DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY READ THESE I KINDA HOPE NOW NO ONE DOES#IM KINDA UHHH MY CHILD THERAPIST SAID UNCONVENTIONAL#I THINK SHE MEANT FUCKING CRAZY#sorry#oh yeah i walked tf out the band after that big performance set up just for us because i couldn't keep working with that kind of environment#other bands started flocking to recruit or proxy after i was let go by my famously fucked-up ex-manager LOL#but um i have issues so i'm not among them and i think they get the message tbh#appears and disappears#that is actually my brand
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Trying to be patient but would really love it if i had a therapy appointment scheduled by now.
#therapist texted me a week ago saying she has internet back and could schedule virtual visits now#(the office is very much gone though the practice is looking for a new location)#texted back same day saying i did want to schedule and gave some dates#i know she’s probably busy getting every client sorted out and there are probably some with more urgent needs#or maybe her internet isn’t completely stable yet#but i’m worried that she just forgot about me but i also don’t want to be pushy by texting again#i don’t know what do you do when you feel like you desperately need something but also don’t think your needs matter#or that you’re being a burden (asking for a paid appointment that was offered to you)#weird i was able to get a haircut before a therapy appointment considering my hair stylist like…literally lost her home#though i suppose that creates a greater need to get back to work asap#also apparently nothing offsets my money anxiety#me: if there was ever a time to pull a large amount out of savings to give to those in need it would be now#also me: i am going to financially ruin myself and also probably my whole family#me again: you should be giving MORE stop being SELFISH#[proceeds to enter into damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t anxiety spiral where i hate myself in five different ways at once]
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my brother keeps being a bitch on purpose and it's really not helping
#my therapist says hes probably doing to feel better about himself and it's like. fuckin hell dude#because like. look im not saying i dont poke fun at him either right#but i like go think i dont go below the belt in terms of shit???#like i love him im not going to call him genuinely stupid or ugly or anything.#hes good at math and pretty capable. even if he incinerated mac n cheese once and we had to get a new microwave#but he keeps going up to me like (aether) whats a×b? oh how do you not know that instantly? are you stupid?#its because (extremely personal issue) LOL (deep cutting personal issue again)#and its like look ive never been good at mental math stop being a fucking jerk over me not knowing fuckin 9×7 off the top of my head#and i keep telling him to drop it and shut up but its just spurs him on more because its funny to him#and he keeps bringing up other shit like being queer or being trans specifically because he knows its upsetting and its just fucking funny#he loves to say people with weird pronouns and think there's more than two genders should kill themselves because he knows it makes me angr#with him. and he knows im fucking queer. he knows our grandmothers queer. and he still pulls this shit#and i cant say anything because when i do i get a whole lecture about how hes my flesh and blood and i should treat him like such#and im the asshole for suggesting he act like it for once#i love my brother and im proud of his achievements but i cant keep fucking doing this#and i know its my fault because hes a stupid kid and going through typical middle school boy bullshit#and seriously getting hurt by whatever a middle schooler says is downright pathetic#but it fucking hurts to hear someone you held as a baby and defended say people like you should kill themselves#and it hurts to have them fucking push a topic that upsets you for their own amusement#swearing cw#aethers rants#cw vent#personal posts and stuff idk
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One of my highschool classmates posted a selfie on facebook and . She got so many plastic surgeries i didn't even recognize her
#like jesus christ if i didn't see her name i would have not recognized her at all#she got a lip job a nose job that. thing they do with your cheekbones idk what it's called#like who are you??#also not to be a hater it's her body she can do whatever she wants with it but when ya get so many surgeries that you're no longer#recognizable#then you probably should look for a therapist instead of a new plastic surgeon
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~ ~ ~
#I really am so fucking pathetic#sitting here crying for over an hour because you didn’t talk to me today#cause that’s really all it boils down to I suppose even though it feels worse to me#and I know tomorrow I’ll go in to see my therapist and not mention any of this happening#I’ll tell him the good things that happened since last session and talk about my girlfriend and shit like that#because as far as he knows I already cut our friendship off but I can’t tell him I didn’t because I don’t want to look weak/foolish#ironic isn’t it that I’m going to therapy to get better with things like this and still don’t feel comfortable talking about these issues#the good news is that I think I wore myself out with all the tears and can probably fall asleep pretty quickly if I try#maybe I should actually end this friendship if this is what it does to me#because I know this isn’t healthy but fuck I just can’t keep losing people no matter how toxic they are#I don’t have enough friends as it is so I don’t want to lose any more#abandonment issues are kicking in heavily right now#I just feel so damn stupid and worthless right now#crying over you like any of this matters at all#I just need to get all my emotions removed so I don’t have to keep going through this kind of dumb shit#mental issues are a bitch#personal
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I should be doing homework but instead...
(idek if this is popular anymore, I just need motivation tbh)
1 note and I'll go take a shower
25 notes and I'll get off Tumblr and finish my homework.
50 notes and I'll put away my laundry
100 notes and I'll fix my sleep schedule
150 notes and I'll start eating breakfast before school for the rest of the school year
200 notes and I'll tell my parents what I want for my birthday
250 notes and I'll start handing out my resume/applying to jobs [did not get hired anywhere, and I'm gone most of the summer anyways]
300 notes and I'll start running 1 mile every week
350 notes and I'll finish/publish a wip [trans Stephen fic, the public has determined]
400 notes and I'll finish the next chapter of BtSA [posted here]
450 notes and I'll spend 10 minutes a day working on my novel (;-;)
500 notes and I answer my emails
550 notes and I get a pixie cut (I've been wanting a shorter cut for months) [LOOK HERE]
600 notes and I'll fix my Doctor Strange cosplay (and post pictures) [new magnets came, once I fix it, me and my friend are going to do a photo shoot]
(1000 notes and I'll come out as genderfluid to my therapist, despite how terrifying it is)
(1500 notes and I'll come out to my favorite teacher OR my ally YW leader)
(if, for some reason, and probably with divine intervention, we hit 20,000 notes..... I may consider coming out to my parents and/or my ward friends.)
#notes game#I just need motivation#coming out#genderfluid#homework#eating breakfast#I need to do things#but the executive dysfunction is strong#ADHD#cosplay#doctor stephen strange#Stephen Strange cosplay
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into the arms of another part three | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x reader
part one part two masterlist tips
yourusername
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 707,890 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: working up a storm and flirting up a frenzy
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user3: SHE'S BACK
user4: that month she was gone was dragging
user5: i almost forget she has a job lol there's always so much drama i forgot girly was getting the bag
danielricciardo: oh what a lovely picture of you two being gross at dinner i wonder who took it
yourusername: it's this lovely gentleman, i'll have to introduce you. he's quite loud, very charming and should consider going into theatre with his vocal projection
danielricciardo: you think i'm ready for the stage?
maxverstappen1: i think we all think you're ready for the stage
user6: wait so do you think daniel, heidi, y/n and max go on double dates? that's so cute
user7: sometimes i hurt myself by thinking it could've been a triple date if charles wasn't such as ass
maxverstappen1: when she's a triple threat 😍
yourusername: but i can't sing, dance or act?
maxverstappen1: but you are smart, beautiful and can put up with me :)
yourusername: you act like being with you is a chore maxy :( i'd spend all my waking moments with you if i could
landonorris: i'm sending these ^^ comments to my therapist, you guys make me feel so lonely
maxverstappen1: sorry dude
yourusername: lando !! let us play matchmaker ??
landonorris: i'll let you play matchmaker just don't let max have too much input
maxverstappen1: why not i clearly have good taste?
user8: anyone else wondering whether y/n and charles actually spoke after he was seen outside her building?
user9: i was thinking about that too ... i'm guessing they either didn't or it didn't go well by the fact that he's no where to be seen here
maxverstappen1
liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,203,500 others
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maxverstappen1: new weekend, new helmet. this one was designed by the love of my life who put her architecture degree to good use to make me this beautiful lid. love you y/n hope to bring you a trophy back in return 🧡
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user13: max being the resident grid sweetheart was not on my 2023 bingo card
yourusername: no worries max, it was an absolute honour to design a helmet for you.
maxverstappen1: it's an honour to wear something designed by you
yourusername: call me the adrian newey of helmet design
maxverstappen1: that's a big shout, that i'm inclined to believe
redbullracing: adrian gives his stamp of approval y/n !
user14: i swear in an older charles vlog y/n spoke about how she always wanted to design a helmet for him :( i'm glad she finally got to do it
user15: no shade but at least this helmet might actually win the race lol
danielricciardo: cute lid, is y/n open for commission?
maxverstappen1: nope she's mine and mine only (unless you're paying)
yourusername: what he said
user16: i just know charles is screaming, crying and throwing up rn
user17: probably not, people stop being friends all the time, he's got more than one friend and is a millionaire, he's living his best life
user16: his track record says otherwise, he's extremely petty, he probably can't handle that max and y/n don't care about him anymore
user18: tbf from what we saw charles was looking to reconcile, it's more y/n who has been unreasonable
user19: i think she's well within her rights to refuse forgiveness and from reports charles never apologised, this has been a pattern of behaviour for years now. she deserved better, she's now got better
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user20: i love that max likes all the shady comments about the situation cause i know y/n would never
charles_leclerc
liked by arthurleclerc, carlossainz55 and 908,344 others
charles_leclerc: always make time for your real friends.
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user21: if there's one thing men will have, it's the audacity
user22: well this is an interesting response
user23: are we meant to clap?
arthurleclerc: what happened to the plan?
charles_leclerc: than plan failed in the minute she closed the door in my face
arthurleclerc: call me, but also stop making excuses
user24: yes it is logical to do this offline arthur, but consider this, i want to read the drama
user25: but at this point how is it drama? it's just charles being stubborn. y/n gave him a full explanation and by the look of it he didn't do a very good job with it
user26: the thing is i honestly believe that however bad the apology would be y/n would still forgive him. they've been friends for so long i think she honestly wants it to work out but shit like this does not help his case
carlossainz55: mate i am so confused
charles_leclerc: what's so confusing? she can say that this has led to her finding "the real thing" but i can't?
carlossainz55: but if you wanted to reconcile, you look like an asshole
charles_leclerc: fine, make me the bad guy like everyone else
user27: charles is really in his whiny boy era lord
user28: all i know is that y/n and max are probably at home having the laugh of their lives
f1wagsupdates
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f1wagupdates: y/n y/ln was in the red bull garage this weekend with verstappen's family. max won this race wearing the helmet she designed for him.
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user31: they are the cutest couple on the grid, perhaps of all time
user32: they're defo on the way to that, if they get married could defo grab best couple of all time
user33: the way she still stopped at ferrari to talk to arthur and wish him and charles luck ... clearly there's a bigger person here
user34: y/n is already so close to the verstappens, her and sophie and victoria were together all weekend.
user35: my friend had a paddock pass and overheard sophie asking y/n when she'll be giving her more grandkids
user36: OMG WHAT? what did y/n say?
user35: that she'd have to be mrs. verstappen first
user37: do not play with me right now if we get the charles and y/n friend breakup and y/n and max engagement all in one season my brain may explode
user38: if max weren't winning every race anyway i'd defo say that this is the lucky helmet
user39: i mean grand slams aren't that common, so maybe it is
user40: max win and charles disasterclass, the best weekend possible for y/n
user41: i don't think she actually wants charles to do badly though, she wouldn't have wished him luck..
maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1: i've won a lot of races this year but my biggest win of all was your heart. here's to forever together ❤️
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user42: i think i just saw charles drop to his knees in monaco
user43: i mean they can still be friends? there was never any romantic feelings he's just being weird about being in the wrong and it being max
danielricciardo: i'm so so happy for you guys, you deserve this so much. all the happiness to you, i shall assume my position as best man effective immediately
maxverstappen1: bit forward to assume that you're best man mate
danielricciardo: wait, i'm not best man ?
maxverstappen1: i joke, you are, of course, the best man and i can't think of a better man for the job
yourusername: just don't go too crazy with the stag night, i've heard about your nights out back in the day (seen the videos too)
danielricciardo: i don't know what you're talking about, we'll have a boys night in, a round of uno and he'll be ready at the altar right on time
user44: why am i actually so happy for people i don't even know
yourusername: i can't think of a better way to spend the rest of my life, red bull drive babysitter and cat mama
maxverstappen1: i think jimmy and sassy might just be as excited as me (maybe)
yourusername: i know i can tell by all the holes in my shoes
maxverstappen1: we all have our ways of showing love, some bites holes in shoes, some like to follow you everywhere
landonorris: the way max could be either one
maxverstappen1: ummm i'm trying to be romantic stop accusing me of biting my fiancee's shoes
yourusername: don't worry maxy, i'd still marry you even if you bite my shoes
user45: this is an amazing thing and not to bring the mood down, but do we think y/n will invite charles to the wedding?
user46: max could as well, they are friends, even if charles is trying to use their rivalry as a 'reason' to be angry at this relationship
yourusername
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yourusername: i am lost for words. i never knew i could love someone as much as i love you, and it is my biggest honour to spend the rest of my life with you.
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user47: she has really won at life i'm so happy for her
user48: who knew being ditched in corsica would be so good for a girl
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maxverstappen1: i love you more than you could ever know, couldn't think of a better mrs. verstappen-y/ln
yourusername: i can't wait to have matching last names
user49: wait is max also going to take y/n's name?
maxverstappen1: yep and couldn't be prouder to have her name
yourusername: awww maxy i love you
user50: so... did charles get an invite?
charles_leclerc: no. so much for moving forward.
yourusername: i won't let you ruin this announcement for me. let the postal service do their job. please get your shit together before you rsvp or fuck off, i have no problem burning that invite.
user51: oof.
landonorris: congrats guys, do me and daniel get a prize for listening to the years of pining that led to this
yourusername: you can get a gold star?
landonorris: make it solid gold and done.
yourusername: girl.
maxverstappen1: if red bull ask whether we drank on this getaway say no
yourusername: we defo didn't spray champagne like we were on a podium and then eat our weight in pasta
maxverstappen1: i had to celebrate my girl :)
note: hiiiii, i know this was highly, highly requested and i hope this has met expectations. i've had real bad writers block and some shit going on in my personal life, so i'm not the happiest with this but could see another part if i get enough ideas lol. thanks for reading <3
#f1#f1 x you#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#max verstappen x you#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen instagram au#max verstappen
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#vent post#literally trying to hold it together when I really want to fall apart#but every time I start welling up my body holds back the tears and shuts it down#I’m drowning in sad and bad feels#and while I want to talk to people about it#I have had no luck getting a therapist and my health care coverage is changing so I have to wait until the new year to start looking#the people who have offered to listen are people I don’t want to be vulnerable around#and the people I can be vulnerable around are going through much worse things than me having whatever tf is happening to me#I’m big sad and they’re dealing with important family issues#like how can I whine to them ‘woe is me’ when it should be the other way around#I don’t know if it’s just seasonal depression making things worse for me#or if everything has just built up and I’m hitting a breaking point#I should go to a break room see if breaking things helps#but then I worry about if I break down while there#the people that run those places aren’t therapists they shouldn’t have to be subjected to my bs#I am just. I just want to sleep forever and a day#vent over#pls ignore#I’ll be fine probably and eventually
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Out With the Old (Heartsabyul, Savanaclaw, and Octavinelle x Yuu)
"Look I would get rid of this thing if I could afford a new sweatshirt." You drag the offensive article of clothing over your head completely missing the spark of curiosity and mischief in your companion's eye. "I've got a lot of bad memories associated with this."
"If it's that uncomfortable we can go look for a replacement instead of-"
"Oh no not like that, it's super comfy. I just don't like it because it technically belongs to my ex."
notes: they/them used for Yuu, some questionable behavior from Floyd and Jade because who else? This is meant to be crack. Second part can be found here (x)
Riddle- "THAT'S LITERALLY ILLEGAL???"
He is too focused on hyperventilating because it sounds like you just admitted to a crime in front of him to even think about offering you one of his sweaters. Trey and Cater have to break it down for him unpaid therapist style that no, you are not wearing stolen property (probably), borrowing clothes is just something people in relationships often do. He then further needs it explained that no, you are not still in a relationship and since you want to get rid of the shirt it sounds like things ended poorly. His friends want to try and suggest he should give you an article of his clothing to replace the offending one but he's so focused on getting you something that matches dress code that they decide to quit while they're ahead. Literally.
Trey- "You know you can always ask us if you need help, right?"
Vil's right about Trey's tendency to fuss and spoil people being a bit of a flaw; he's in tune enough with his emotions to know that he should not, for his own sake, give you one of his old sweatshirts without being honest about why he wants you to wear it. But he can't exactly deny his instincts when it comes to the people he cares about. You're cold and uncomfortable, what sort of guy would he be if he just left you all alone? Just please don't brush this off with a comment about how much of a big brother or mother hen he is; it is already going to be pure torture trying to look at you in his things in a Queen of Hearts honoring way. He doesn't need an added complex on top of it.
Cater- "Oh honey no."
Cater doesn't like keeping stuff his exes gave him either, but luckily for him he's never been in a position where that's literally only the stuff he had on him. Speaking of things, he buys a bunch of clothes off magicam he barley has time to take the tags off of before the trend goes stale. You guys should totally ditch what you were planning to do today and have a little fashion show in his room. It'll be cute and he can get a bunch of cammable shots! Just ignore the pop music club hoodie he refuses to take back because it looks "so much cuter on you." <3
Ace- "That's extremely lame prefect."
He isn't blind; you're cute and poor. Anyone would jump at the chance to let you steal a hoodie, besides Ace isn't insecure enough to be super jealous of someone you clearly hate. He knows you well enough to tell when you are silently wishing death on someone, it's all in the vocal tone. But damn if this new bit of information doesn't make things tricky. He already makes a big fuss about not needing to focus on dating right now, and with that iconic sweatshirt of yours technically belonging to an ex it's not like he can just slide you one of his without making it super obvious what he's doing. Looks like you're just going to have to take some extra teasing for a bit prefect, it's his preferred method of cope.
Deuce- "You've been here for how long and the Headmage hasn't given you any clothes?!?!"
Deuce is a good egg whose primary concern is almost always your well being. He tends to act before his common sense and emotions can catch up with his thought process, and that's exactly what happens here. The concept of you dating someone is just so... foreign to him. Not because he thinks your undesirable! It's just that you guys are always hanging out, you not being around makes him feel a bit funny inside, and not in a good way. He doesn't mention that to his mom when he texts her asking if she has any of his old clothes laying around, but she definitely knows what's on his mind. Why else would she have sent his old delinquent jacket?
Leona- "Well that explains why it smells like shit."
Let the record show that Leona is in fact, lying to you. Your clothes don't smell like anything other than you and maybe some of the musk floating around Ramshackle Dorm, but that doesn't stop you from pulling the fabric and taking a good sniff. To Leona, all this really suggests is that you've been over the person long enough that you don't care about keeping their scent around anymore. Sure, a tiny thought does worm it's ugly way into his inferiority complex that "oh they liked someone else" but his equally large ego immediately slams the emphasis on "liked" and starts thinking about how to get his scent on you. He doesn't really own too many jackets like the one you're wearing, but he does have some nice silk scarfs he could wrap you up in. Much classier than whatever trash you had previously been going out with.
Ruggie- "You wanna toss it my way then?"
Clothes are clothes are clothes, you don't see Ruggie acting like his uniform is still Leona's just because that's who originally bought it. If you are really bothered by the memories of your ex, he's willing to listen and make fun of them, assuming that will make you feel better, but this won't make him jealous. That emotion is reserved for when you share food with other people. He is dead serious about taking the sweatshirt if you don't want it, as far as he's concerned that shirt belongs to you, and he wouldn't mind having an excuse to blend your wardrobes a little bit. It would make you even closer to being a real member of his pack.
Jack- "You can just take mine."
Jack's strong sense of justice and firm moral code are definitely his only motivations for offering you one of his sweatshirts. Forcing a student to wear clothes they find uncomfortable and associate with negative memories just because they didn't have the foresight to pack something they did like for a school they didn't know they would be attending is beyond unfair. That's what he tells himself anyway, and it's not like he isn't upset on your behalf, but it's plain as day to anyone that he wants to prove that you can rely on him; he's not like that other person, he doesn't mind being alone together with you.
Azul- "If your finances really are in such dire straights you know I could-"
Revealing personal information in Azul's presence is asking to be offered a deal. Sure that little complaint might have been insignificant to you, but for Azul? He's having a full blown Sherlock style breakdown going on in his head trying to decide what his angle is. 1) The prefect has dated in the past and doesn't look on that experience favorably. Does this prevent them from dating again? Needs further analysis. 2) Giving articles of clothing is an acceptable form of human courtship, even if used. Or is it especially if used? 3) Can he convince you to burn this if he gets you a replacement or is that too petty? 4) More importantly does this mean you have a type? And how does he press for that information without appearing desperate?
Jade- "Oh? Well that sounds extremely annoying."
Jade Leech is first and foremost a messy bitch who lives for other people's misery. Sure, he is reasonably certain he's in love with you at this point, but that doesn't matter. You have a story that's filled with second hand embarrassment and a bone to pick besides he is nothing if not an enthusiastic audience. The thought of you wearing clothes that he owns wasn't something he would have thought of himself, merfolk don't typically wear them so dating customs that involve them are a bit foreign to him. He would much rather just bite you. Or give you some jewelry. both he wants to do both
Floyd- "PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME"
The instant you say that sweatshirt is from an ex he is taking off whatever shirt he is currently wearing and trying to tug off yours. Yes, even if it is his basketball jersey, and yes even if he just got back from practice. Isn't the scent supposed to be the point? He knows you miss him when he's gone, and he can get you something nicer out of his closet later. Just remember to tell everyone, even and especially if they don't ask, who gave it to you. Floyd's... nice? Enough? To not immediately burn your sweatshirt but it's up for debate if that's because he's actually being nice or if he just wants a trophy.
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twst x yuu#riddle rosehearts x reader#trey clover x reader#cater diamond x reader#ace trapolla x yuu#deuce spade x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#ruggie bucci x reader#jack howl x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#floyd leech x reader#jade leech x reader
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Taming the Supe
✨ Soldier Boy x Fem!Therapist!Reader ✨
Minors do ¡NOT! interact with this post. Thanks.
A/N: Let me be upfront and say that I actually haven’t seen the boys 😭 not my cup of tea as far as shows go. So this perception of SB might be very far off. But like, he’s hot and he keeps showing up on my feed so this is happening >:) and in my defense I did try to do a little bit of research on America’s Ass(hole), so hopefully that shows lol. From what I understand he’s a TERRIBLE person who just so happens to be extremely attractive, so slay. Oh, also, to any therapist reading this: I am so, SO sorry.
Icons by me! Any and all interaction is very much appreciated!
Also- I’m looking for a beta reader/ editor! If you think you’d be interested, dm me!
Content Warnings: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🌶️honestly that about sums it up. There’s SOME- A LITTLE- plot but it’s more plop if you catch my drift. This is toe-curling, eyes-rolling, name-screaming, tsunami-coming level shit, ya hear?? At least, that’s what I went for. ;)
Just note that SB is… very SB for the better half of it. And he has an INSANE breeding kink.
The ending’s real rushed cause honestly this was mainly written for the spice, but hopefully it’s enjoyable!
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Taming Soldier Boy was a feat that should have been impossible. In all regards.
He was a jackass- apple didn’t fall far from the tree as far as he and his dad were concerned. It wasn’t necessarily Ben’s fault; you cant help your blood. But because of said aforementioned father, Ben was brought up on misogynist ideals and the ideal that he was simultaneously both a disappointment and the bearer of a massive god-complex. The former applied to when he was around his father, the latter to when he was around literally anyone else.
Not only that, but he was separated from society for forty years, being tortured- sorry, “experimented on”- by a skeevy Russian organization that his own teammates had pawned him off too. Sure, he had committed massive, unforgivable atrocities, but quite frankly, the other supes on Payback weren’t much better. Maybe not as bad, but certainly not much better.
He re-walked upon the United States at the very young age of one hundred and three, coupled with PTSD, a god complex and more “back in my day” rants than your weird old uncle could ever hope to spew.
And now the thing is: it’s easy to make him look like he blends in. Trim the disheveled forty-year-old beard, give him some boyish bangs, throw him in a tight white shirt and a Giants jersey with grey sweats and all of a sudden you have a normal looking, abnormally attractive dude. Looks maybe thirty seven. Has a smile that has probably actually, literally charmed the pants off of someone.
But to make him act right? That’s the hard part.
That also where you came in.
You were a therapist with a damn good reputation. Shouldn’t have been involved with Supes in the slightest, but you owed Hughie Campbell a favor. Good kid who just so happened to have powers. So be it.
The kid had stumbled into your office a few years before Soldier Boy returned, and you had had multiple sessions before he dropped of the grid. You paid it no mind- you have a lot of clients, and therapy isn’t a good world to get attached to any of them.
But then one day, after one of Homelander’s many destructive “saves” of the city, you found yourself stuck in a burning building. By some miracle Hughie was in the same building, and he teleported you out and onto safer ground. Sure it was awkward being held up bridal style by a young dude who was ass-naked, but stranger things have happened.
Because of the save, you felt that you owed him, and told him as much. He was gracious, not wanting to take advantage of you, and you went back to not hearing anything from him.
That is, until just after the news article about Soldier Boy’s return broke out. It was definitely a headline that had caused you to raise a brow, but from what you knew America’s first supe was not what Vought made him out to be in the eyes of the public. He was an asshole who killed activists, and was most likely very racist. If anything, seeing the headline made you slightly wary for the good of the world. But you let it slide, figuring that if you already existed in a world where psychos like Homelander did you would probably be fine if there was one more.
Well, you were very much wrong.
A few days after the article broke out, Hughie called you. Asked if you would be okay to take you up on that favor. Of course, you said yes- you were only alive because of him. He had showed up to your house, and teleported you to a dinghy motel with no explanation, rendering you both in the same awkward situation as before. Him holding you bridal style, ass naked. If you had a nickel for every time he’s done that… you’d have ten cents, but it’s still oddly specific of it to happen twice.
“Listen,” he had said, setting you down. You had no choice but to do so, given that he was ass naked and it would be really awkward to see that. So you kept your eyes locked on his as he talked. “You know how Soldier Boy is back?”
“Mhm…” you nodded warily, knowing damn well that that was an ominous hook to your situation.
“Uh, he’s insane.”
“Sorry, he’s, like, he is? Presently?”
“Yeah… he’s in there and I think he would really benefit from a little therapy. His mind’s wired like a grandpa who has stories from every war.”
“Fuck, Hugh,” you cursed. He winced, his sweet eyes opened wide. “Sorry. It’s just.. are you kidding me?” Soldier Boy? It would probably take a team of specialists to figure out what’s going on in that head.
“Look, I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you at least try?”
“Only for you.” It was really hard to have resolve with those puppy dog eyes staring at you.
“Thanks, y/n. Really.”
So you had walked in behind him; waiting as he threw on some sweats that were in a plastic bag outside of the motel room door.
You walked in together, only to see the most beautiful man you’d ever seen sitting on the bed, shoes still on.
Look. Everyone has fantasized about Soldier Boy at least once in their lives. The pinnacle of physical perfection, charisma oozing from his pores- it was hard not to. You were no exception- in your younger years there had certainly been more than a few nights where you were fucking yourself to pictures or videos of him, pathetically rutting on your clit and wishing it was his huge, gloved hands instead.
Of course, that was well before the article on the truth about him broke out. After that he had majorly lost his sex appeal.
However, seeing him in person immediately flashed you back to being younger and sexually frustrated, wondering how a man like that even existed. He was even better looking in person, piercing green eyes boring holes into you.
Thankfully it only took one douchey comment to snap you back to reality.
“So prostitutes are still a thing?” he asked, the question directed at Hughie. You immediately balled your hands into fists at your side, ready to tell this old-ass off, before remembering that you were there on professional business.
“No, no, she’s a therapist,” Hughie told him. “Y/n L/n, the best in the business.”
“You brought me a shrink?” he laughed incredulously. “Fuck you, I don’t have shell shock!”
He definitely had shell shock.
You didn’t bother waiting for Hughie to answer. “Listen, Mr. Boy, I’m only here ‘cause I owe this kid a favor. Would it really pain you so much to talk about yourself for an hour?” Your hands were planted on your hips.
“Man, when did women get so feisty?” he asked, that 1950s accent oozing through his words.
“Once they came to their senses,” I say with sass.
“So what? All I have to do is talk to a pretty thing about me?”
“Pretty much,” you conceded, ignoring the “compliment” he payed you.
“Fine.” Great. He agreed. How wonderful.
“I’m going to get some food, I’ll be back in an hour. If you need anything at all, just text me,” Hughie told me. “Thanks again.”
“Sure,” you replied, leaning in by his ear. “I think you’re going to owe me after this.
“Yeah, you’re probably not wrong,” he agrees, patting you on the back before teleporting away to the store. Man, this power thing… never gets any less weird.
“Take a seat,” Soldier Boy patted his lap.
“Hilarious,” you rolled your eyes, sitting on the other bed. Look, if he hadn’t been the jackass you knew him to be you most definitely would’ve sat on his lap. But you knew better. At least in the moment. “So, tell me about yourself.”
“M’name’s Ben, and I’m a soldier. My daddy hated me, so became a superhero. Surprise, surprise, he still hated me. But I’m better, stronger than he ever was. Might go take a piss on his grave while I’m here.”
“Interesting,” you murmur, putting together a mental file. Name: Ben. No last name? Weird. Daddy issues- makes the god complex make sense. Hmm. “Did you ever have a mother in the picture?”
“No. Died when I was a boy.” Added to file.
“Okay, so then why take the serum?” You know why, but you want to see something.
“You deaf? I said it was cause my daddy hated me.”
“You took a untested, potentially dangerous serum just because of your daddy issues?” you ask, matching his rude tone.
“You- you know what? This is boring. How about you and I fuck instead of this, hm?” he asks. Him saying the word fuck turned you on more than it should, but his misogyny was a quick turnoff.
“I think I’m just going to text Hughie,” you said, moving to stand, wholly unimpressed.
“Wait, no- I did it cause I hated feeling weak. Feeling stupid. Thought it would turn me into someone, just turned me into a jackass machine,” he said honestly, his eyes big and sad.
“Okay,” you said simply, sitting back down. That’s much more like it. “So then what led you to murder innocent people?”
If this were a normal session you would have never asked such a thing. Ever. But this was anything but normal.
“What did you just say to me?” And there it was. A glimpse of that Soldier Boy quick temper. You probably shouldn’t have been making him mad, but you didn’t know how else to go about this given that you weren’t in your professional environment.
“You heard me,” you told him with your arms crossed, trying to bite back the fear caused by
“You’re playing with fire,” he warns, fists balled at his sides. “A question like that’s gonna cost ya.”
You roll your eyes, standing my ground. “Why. Did. You. Murder. Them?”
“Because they deserved it,” he yelled, standing up. You do your best not to flinch, but he was an imposing six-and-some feet tall.
“How? Did the Milk family deserve it? Did their son?” you yell, fighting off the fear in your voice.
He stops then, jaw clenching. “I was the good guy. The hero.” His voice breaks, ever so slightly. His green eyes burn holes into yours. You stare right back, just as intensely.
“So, imposter syndrome.”
“No!” he roared, the sound threatening to bring down the roof of the motel room.
“They were good people. Activists. Made a difference in their community.”
“That got what was coming to them.”
“What? A car being thrown at their house?”
“You…” he steps closer. You sit up in the bed, back against the headboard. “You don’t know me.”
I stand up then. Not nearly as tall as him, but in anger. “Yeah, but I know your actions.”
“Then you should think I’m a hero.”
“I don’t.” I say grimly, arms crossed.
“I’m Soldier Boy, for Christ’s sake,” he spat.
“Yeah, and I’m Y/N L/N. Who fucking cares.” Well this went from therapy to argument real fast.
He leans down then, by my ear. It’s all you can do not to back away as his hot breath fans the column of your neck. “Maybe you should.” His voice is gravelly, rough from anger but also from something else…
“Well I won’t.” You said, maintaining your ground.
“Wrong move, sweetheart,” he said, before crashing his lips to yours. You squeaked into the kiss, surprised, but he just took initiate to shove his tongue in your mouth, exploring with great fervor.
And you knew damn well how wrong this was. How unprofessional you had been; how bad it was that his tongue, this tongue of a murderer, was half down your throat. But in the moment you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, because he was just that good of a kisser. Made you forget about the misogyny and his volatility. At least, for the time being.
He pulled away, smirking down at you.
“If we do this, you’re going to talk to me after. Act like you’re an adult,” you told him sternly, as if your underwear wasn’t soaked with arousal from the kiss.
“Fine, fine,” he grumbled.
“I fucking mean it,” you reiterated, hands on his pecs.
“And I fucking said fine,” he retorted. “Ben,” he introduced as an after thought.
“Okay, cool. Ben.”
“That’s the name I better hear coming off those pretty lips in a couple minutes here,” his gaze darkened with lust, emerald green eyes darkened to the color of a forest cloaked in the dead of night..
“O-okay.” And there it is, the first time you gave into the stutter derived from your desire. This was dangerous, but once he kissed you again you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.
When he pulled away he thumbed at your lower lip, and you immediately react led to his touch, mouth falling open around the digit. “Good girl,” he praised, and you hated the way you felt proud at his words. He pulled off his jersey and under shirt, urging you to do the same until you both stood before each other, topless. He crowded you against the bed until you fell back, calves draped over the edge. He made room for himself between your legs, kissing you furiously, and you let out little breathy sighs as he did so.
“Attagirl,” he breathed when you gasped his name as he bit along your collarbone. He continued his fiery trail, from the juncture of your earlobe and neck to your collar bone and then down your chest, and you knew damn well that you weren’t going to be able to cover up half of the marks he gave you. But you also couldn’t find it in yourself to care.
“You-you can come in me,” you mumbled as he kisses the valley between your breasts.
He chuckles darkly. “Oh, I’ll fill you up real good” he said, eliciting a gasp from you when he bites your nipple.
He continued his path of kisses down your body, and in the bottom of your eye you could already see dark marks on the tops of your breasts, making your head fuzzy.
He stopped at your pants, biting the juncture of your hip and and thigh.
“‘m gonna get you ready for me,” he explained, before ripping off your pants and underwear in one go. This is not a metaphor, he literally tore them of you. You whined in protest, but he dismissed you, saying “I’ll get you new ones.”
And even though you knew he most definitely wouldn’t, his breath on your clit stopped you from caring.
He gave you no warning before diving into your soaked pussy, and you all but screamed his name when he fid, your fingers grasping his hair for dear life. He groaned into your cunt but kept going, spurred on by your actions.
The thing was, you hadn’t expected him to be good at eating pussy. He was from, like, the forties, after all. You thought that most people then probably didn’t bother as no one really cared about women and probably their pleasure back then.
Well, Soldier Boy- Ben- was very different.
He worked at you methodically, licking long stripes before thrusting his tongue in an out of you, testing the waters. He kept eye contact, and you could feel the smugness in his gaze as he watched you come apart.
Eventually he switched so that he was sucking on your clit, which would’ve been enough to bring you over already but then he added one of his long, thick fingers to your pussy. You yelped his name, not ready for the stretch and on the edge.
“Don’t stop,” you urged, whining. “Please don’t stop, Ben.”
And he didn’t, adding a second finger and scissoring within you. If his fingers were already like this, his cock…
But you couldn’t think about that then, nor could you really think about anything at all because he started tracing tight patterns on your bud and added a third finger, stretching you so far that you had no choice but to come. He helped you ride out your high for longer than you thought possible, lapping up all of your release before standing up to full height.
“That good, Sweets?” he smirked, looking down at your fucked out self. You nodded dumbly, and he chuckled. “Thought so.”
Your release covered his facial hair, but he didn’t seem to care much, just wiped a little off with his forearm. He then kicked off his shoes and took off his pants and underwear, and that’s when you saw it.
You were already baffled by him- beyond hot, perfect physique, pussy-eating champion, etc.
But his cock? It was huge. And it was perfect, a word that shouldn’t be able to be used to describe the male genitalia.
“Ben- that’s not going to fit-,” you gasp, sounding like a cheap porno.
“We’ll see about that,” he said, and from his tone you could tell he was going to bottom out no matter what.
Oh, god.
He climbed over you, his large forearms on either side of your head as he rested over you in a plank. He put a pillow under your hips, and you knew you were in for it.
He rubbed his glorious dick over your hole, your clit, and through your folds, covering it in your slick, and you moaned his name.
“Good girl,” he praised, before finally lining up with your entrance. You were already clenching around nothing, but then he started pushing in.
If his fingers were big, his dick… even the tip had you a moaning mess.
“Oh, honey, you’re tighter than a virgin who’s never touched herself,” he groaned as he pushed in, you writhing beneath him. “‘n I just stretched you out, too.” The pillow under your hips let him get impossibly deep, and after an eternity he finally bottomed out, so large that you shouldn’t have been able to take him. But you did, and he hadn’t even done anything yet but you were a whimpering, whiny mess under him.
“I’m gonna move now,” he told you, before pulling almost all the way out and back in, slowly. You were writhing under him, but he was undeterred, and just kept going until you gave him easy access.
“Ben?” you asked, your voice sweet. And you didn’t know what possessed you to add the next part of your question, but you did. “Can you fuck me?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” he groaned, before rearing back again and slamming back into you. It was hard and it was rough, and it was exactly what you wanted even if you knew you weren’t gonna be able to sit right for a week.
You literally had a supe cock in you. You’d seen dildos of these, maybe even owned one, but nothing could do the real thing justice as you whined beneath it.
And if you thought it was already enough just taking him like this, once he started talking you were through.
“Yeah, take it,” he smirked, pounding into you at literal superhuman speed. “I’m going to destroy this cunt until we’re both leaking out of it, and then I’m going to keep going,” he promised against your collarbone, biting anywhere he pleased. You whimper against him, pussy clenching around his enormous length as it crashed in and out of your fluttering walls.
“You like that? Wanna be my little slut?” he grinned, rutting on your clit so you couldn’t answer. “You’d be a real good slut. Would just keep you at home all day, naked and always ready for me. Always full of me too,” he mused, his pace somehow getting rougher. Your mouth was dropped in a permanent ‘o’ as you reveled in the way his huge hands are squeezing your hips and pulling you against him, filing you to the base.
“No other boy can do it like me, sweetheart,” he said cockily. “Fill you up so good, make you mewl.” And as it turns out he was most definitively right about that. But then it was too hard to think about what’s right and wrong when-
“Ben- I- ‘m gonna-.”
“Aww baby, what’s the matter? ‘M I fucking you too good? You can’t talk?”
You moaned pathetically, pulling on his fluffy hair.
“I know, I know,” he said with a soft grunt. “Come for me, pretty thing. Come.” And you did. Hard, all consumingly. It hurt so good that you almost blacked out, but he kept going, doing his damnedest to overstimulate you.
“Ain’t done with you yet, sweetheart. Ain’t even close,” he told you, pulling you off of him and sitting, legs swung over the edge of the bed, feet planted on the ground. He grabbed you, letting you straddle his lap before slamming you down on his length. At this angle he could get impossibly deeper, his dick easily reaching your cervix on every thrust. You screamed, holding onto him for dear life with your face buried in his neck.
“Gonna fill you until you’re full, and then some,” he promised, lifting you up and down, flexing that super strength. “Rub on that pretty clit for me, doll,” he asked. You tried, you really did, but you were just so sensitive.
“That’s okay, I’ll do everything for you, you just take it like a good slut,” he cooed, bringing a hand between the two of you and rutting on your clit without abandon. You came again with a wail of his name before he pistoned into you sloppily, finally spilling his own release into you. And it was messy, and you were far too full to keep going, but he doesn’t care, somehow still hard even though he had just painted your walls with his thick, sticky cum.
You were babbling at this point, raking your nails against him as he kept going to town on your cunt.
“It’s just been too long, baby,” he explained, kissing the side of your head. “Got a little too much energy.” Yeah no shit, with the way that you knew that you were not going to be able to walk.
But he just couldn’t seem to shut up. “Y’know, if I had you back in my day we would’ve had ten kids. You would’ve give birth to one and then I’d put another one in you the next month,” he said as he continued his brutal pace. And damn, this man really had a breeding kink. It was not really your thing-kids tend to get in the way of careers, and also, you were infertile- but anything’s hot when it comes out of those plush lips with the 50s accent, so, naturally, you moan in response.
“Would’ve kept you sated all the time too, sweetheart. Any time you were hot and bothered, had an attitude… I’d fuck it out of you,” he murmured, enveloping you in his arms to hold you closer. You didn’t know if it’s the proximity to him, his voice, or the way that he hasn’t really let you come down from any of your highs, but suddenly you were coming again… just in a different way.
“Aww baby, did you just squirt?” he chuckled. You did all you can to further hide your face in his neck as he just kept going, only concious enough to register your embarrassment and fatigue. He pulls you by your hair to look at him. “Don’t be embarrassed, sweetheart, that was so hot.” You smiled, cheeks pink, your somehow still horny self proud of his compliment.
“It’s okay, just give me one more and you’ll be done, alright?”
“O-okay,” you say shakily. You hadn’t even noticed hot much your legs were quivering until then, and he laughed, squeezing them close.
“You’re so cute, y’know that?” he praised, rubbing your clit. Your blush became even more furious before you came again at him tracing patterns into your poor, overstimulated, sensitive bud. He came in you shortly after with a very sexy grunt, and it was just leaking out of you, going all over the tops of his thighs. He held you at the base of his cock though, not ready to pull out.
“You alright, Dollface?” he asked, gingerly moving- somehow while keeping his cock in you- you onto your back. You nodded, sleepiness overtaking you.
“Good girl,” he nuzzled your nose, gifting you the view of all of the pretty freckles on his cheeks looking like gold specs. You whined as he pulls out, and he tutted, plugging you up with his fingers.
“Don’t tempt me, sweetheart. If you were a supe we’d be going another ten rounds, but I know you’re tired,” he warned, cock still semi-hard.
“Ben,” you gestured towards it, unsure what you were going to say because as much as you wish you had his stamina, you didn’t.
“It’ll be fine, sweets,” he shrugged it off. “Perks of the unbelievable stamina.” He kissed your forehead, before lightly thrusting his fingers in and out of you in attempt to keep the cum in. Pitiful tears leaked out of the corner of your eyes from the overstimulation.
“There, there,” he cooed, kissing them away. “Just don’t want to waste any,” he smirked, before leaving his long, thick fingers where they were inside you, all the way up to the knuckle. Your legs can’t stop shaking, and you try to talk but you can’t.
“Let me get you some water, put your fingers here for me,” he said, waiting until you do so, feeling your sticky release on your hand. You knew damn well that you werenot going to be able to stand.
“Here, sweets,” he returned, still ass naked, holding a glass, taking your fingers out of your cunt and licking them clean. “We taste real good, sugar.” You whimpered, ready to go at it again, abused pussy be damned. Speaking of, the poor cleaning staff… your mixed releases were dripping out of your poor hole, coating the bed and the bottom of your thighs in the stickiness.
“You really are an insatiable little minx,” he chuckled, holding you up so you can take a sip of the water. You obliged, eagerly chugging it down.
“I’m not going to be able to walk,” you muttered, resting your head on his freckled shoulders.
“Looks like you’re going to need to stick around, so I can take care of you,” he squeezed you.
“I’ll tell Hughie to take another hour, tell him that the therapy’s going real well,” you suggested.
“Oh yeah, real well. Definitely a happy ending, if you catch my drift.”
“Multiple happy endings.”
“Atta girl,” he kisses the top of your head.
You sat there in silence for a bit, basking in the afterglow as he rocked you back and fourth gently.
You’d seen so many sides to this man: Misogynistic, quick tempered, sex-god… but sweetness? This was the one that surprised you. Maybe there was hope for him yet.
“Ben?” you broke the silence.
“Yeah?”
“Uh, I could help you, y’know. If you want, anyway. And it wouldn’t even be proper therapy- you know, cause we just- yeah.” your words were shaky but you meant them. There was something about the supe that made you think that maybe, just maybe you could help him.
“I dunno, sweets. I think I’m a little too far gone.”
Vulnerability. That’s progress.
“Could you at least try?”
“I can’t say no to you,” he said. And you’d take him up on that.
••••••••••••A Couple Years Later••••••••••••
Ben Johnson, as he was now known, ended up becoming a normal member of society. After a LOT of work, he’s grown into himself. He cares about people, his ego’s lessened, his temper too. You had helped him through the whole way- gotten him a proper therapist and everything. And now you two were a couple who could just go out and get donuts, and do normal couple things.
“They’re cream-filled!” he beams boyishly, his bangs in his face and his eyes sparkling. He sets the box down in front of you, somehow having already gotten powdered sugar in his beard. He leans in and whispers excitedly, “you know, like you!”
“You’re bad,” you giggle, as if you don’t have him leaking out of you where you sit. You had stopped for a quickie before you made it to the donut shop, it wasn’t your fault that you were so irresistible to each other.
“Not anymore, sweetheart,” he winks with a click of the tongue. Which is true- there’s a certain softness to him these days. His jaw isn’t so set, the crow’s feet by his eyes have deepened. He isn’t so volatile, his tempers dissolved a bit. He’s become more human.
Not to mention that he’s made great progress in apologizing to his victims and making amends to the best of his ability. It may never be enough, but now that he has someone to teach him how to be right and a better understanding of the complexities of the modern world, there’s a chance. And that’s a chance worth taking, to help someone who could’ve been good become good.
Taming Soldier Boy was a feat that should have been impossible, but you had nailed it.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Hope you enjoyed this fic! If you have any ideas for headcanons or fics, my ask box is always open! I don’t bite- not unless you want me too 😏 (so. So. Sorry 😭)
Xx!
#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x you#soldier boy x female reader#soldier boy x y/n#soldier boy fanfiction#soldier boy#soldier boy smut
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another sunny day — i. rin
handcuffed together + matchmaking gone wrong
synopsis. rin doesn't get how his "friends" can come up with such insane ideas. like, seriously. or: blue lock tries to play matchmaker with a flustered loser and their terribly unfriendly teammate.
wc. ~1.1k
— for @jenoutof10 🤞 | event masterlist ✉️
"don't be mad, but..."
rin's eye twitches.
4 words. 4 measly words is all it takes for his blood pressure to start rising. that, and the fact that isagi can't meet his bloodthirsty gaze.
in all the time that he's had the displeasure of knowing these morons, he's come to know one simple fact: nothing good ever happens when they break news starting with 'don't be mad'.
before his teammates can even get a chance to explain further, rin interjects.
"you lost it, didn't you? you fucking lost it."
bachira's lips just press into a thin line, mischief missing from his expression where it usually permanently dances. now, he just looks utterly terrified and a little guilty.
"hey, but there are worse people to be cuffed to!" bachira nervously states. and at that, all eyes land on you.
you'd been hoping that maybe rin's temperment would have drawn all attention away from you right now—that they at least wouldn't have to witness the absolute despair in your face realizing you've been cuffed to your long-term crush for an indefinite amount of time.
but their eyes are heavy on you, trying to scrutinize your reaction. you want nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow you whole.
the chains connecting you jingle impossibly loud as silence fills the room. you flounder slightly, caught off guard by the collective weight of everyone's eyes, and rin seems to understand how dire your situation is. he quickly gathers everyone's attention back to himself.
"you all better crawl on your hands and knees until you find that fucking key."
to think that an entire group of people could have gone through with something so stupid—rin doesn't get how his "friends" can come up with such insane ideas. like, seriously. handcuffing the two of you together as a last ditch attempt to solve the last puzzle of their escape room? he would probably be laughing at their idiocy if he wasn't the one locked to your side right now.
and why him, of all people? was it so obvious that he was maybe, kind of, sort of a little into you? no, impossible. he's incredibly good at hiding his feelings for you, so much that he's completely stone-faced while you're busy panicking beside him.
what should have been an innocent team-building exercise put together by their calm and collected manager has suddenly turned you into a blithering fool and him into a cranky asshole.
he'd always had suspicions that you'd liked him, never able to look him straight in the eye without fidgeting and messaging him out of the blue for seemingly insignificant reasons. ("did you try the new garigari-kun flavour?" or "i saw this cat that reminded me of you," and even "did you eat dinner yet?")
if you had told his teammates, you made a grave error. a fatal mistake. because they were all half-wits who would want nothing more than to try playing cupid, and he knows that only they could come up with a plan so stupid and still claim it to be foolproof.
frantically searching for the key, they get to work scouring the floor and drawers—anywhere they could have left it in the last twenty minutes. he takes the opportunity to focus on his breathing, as his therapist had advised him to do when he was feeling overwhelmed with emotion.
"you okay?" rin asks quietly, lathering a hand down his face in exasperation. you hum nervously, clutching yourself instinctively. it draws his hand closer to your body but he doesn't mention it, instead letting it dangle limply in front of you. the warmth emanating from you makes him realize just how frazzled you are.
he decides he should guide you to the next room where it's quieter, all the puzzles already solved and abandoned. he sits you down on the sofa, standing in front of you with your hands connected in the middle.
"what if we're locked together forever?" you murmur.
rin looks at you in confusion, perplexed by your sudden loss of functioning brain cells. you were always so rational, it's strange to see you so...
you meet his intense stare and the rest of his train of thought derails into a disastrous dumpster fire.
"i... don't think that'll happen."
"but what if we are?"
"there are worse people i could be locked to."
silence suffocates you. rin blinks at you, but doesn't back down as you fumble over your own tongue.
"you think so?" you finally manage out.
god almighty, you need to break this eye contact before he shrivels up and dies. okay, so maybe his feelings for you aren't entirely miniscule, but that doesn't mean he's going to get any enjoyment out of this.
he scoffs, gesturing to the next room. "at least it's you and not them."
you sputter in embarrassment, hand yanking toward your face as you try and cover your cheeks with your palms. his hand follows, nearly smacking you in the nose but you don't seem to care or even notice.
he slowly seats himself beside you, dragging your conjoined hands back between your bodies and settling on the couch.
"i hate this," you admit. "it feels claustrophobic."
rin knows exactly what you mean. your hand is inches away from being in his—he can hardly breathe. he would rather eat natto every day for the rest of his life than come to terms with that, though, so instead he just sneers at you funny.
"you have claustrophobia?"
"i just mean that we're so close right now."
"so?"
you gulp loudly. "and—" you sigh, breaths shaking. "well, you're sort of right. i guess it could be worse."
"...you're weird," he tells you.
your lips quirk up into a tiny smile, so small that he would have missed it if he weren't chained to your side right now. for a moment, he almost forgets all about why he's even in this situation in the first place.
"sorry," you stammer, fingers fumbling around with the hem of your sweater. "i hope they find that key soon."
he stares at you for a few more seconds, tries to trace the outline of your face with his eyes and memorize the curve of your smile.
"yeah," he lies. "me too."
("is it working?"
"i don't know, i can't hear them!"
"shh," chigiri hisses. "i'm trying to listen!"
rin puts his head into his hands at their volume, bringing your hand along with his motion. he glares in their direction, catching a glimpse of his team stacked on top of each other as they peer into the room.
"idiots..." he mutters. you look at him, puzzled. "i'm surrounded by idiots.")
© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.
#— whispers in the wind: 1k event ✉️#so remember when i said i would be out of commission for a bit#that was a fucking lie#blue lock#bllk#blue lock fluff#blue lock drabbles#itoshi rin fluff#itoshi rin#itoshi rin x reader#itoshi rin x you#itoshi rin x y/n#rin itoshi#rin itoshi x reader#rin itoshi x you#rin itoshi x y/n#bllk fic#bllk x reader#bllk x you#bllk x y/n#blue lock x reader#blue lock fic
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Silent
Pairing: Matt x reader
Wordcount: 1.8k +
Summary: you’ve always quietly watched the triplets, silently wishing you could be a part of a group like them. Until you and Matt talk for the first time…
Warnings: selective mutism, anxiety, crying, angst, praise, no use of y/n, no oc
(Disclaimer: I’m not mute in any way. This was a request from an anon that I accidentally deleted. Hope you like it ! Requests are open)
I developed selective mutism pretty early on. My mom says that I didn’t talk even back in kindergarten.
But it’s been years now.
I can talk, and I can’t shut the fuck up for the life of me. I talk a lot, even have full conversations with myself.
Just not at school, or around new people. God, especially not in school.
It’s not like I want to be the ‘ weird’ mute kid. I would love to talk and make friends, I just physically can’t open my mouth and talk.
It even took months for me to utter simple words to my therapist, tho by this point I’ve known her for years and I’m pretty comfortable.
There are these triplets in my grade. We’ve always gone to the same school, but I don’t think they ever noticed me.
Well the first time I noticed them was in first grade, because there were three of them. Of corse my six year old self didn’t understand the concept of multiples back then, and I really wanted to ask, and talk to them. I really thought they were cool.
The first time I interacted with any of them tho was when I was in fourth grade and Nick had asked to use my dark green pencil since he only had light green and needed both dark and light.
Back in fourth grade I wasn’t just selectively mute, but also really shy. So I’d just looked down and stared at the desk giving him a small nod.
In freshmen year I shared a class with Nick again, he asked me for a pen, wich I gave to him.
Despite not having talked to him once in my entire life, he remembered my name. Wich isn’t too shocking since we’ve always been around each other, I was just kinda in the shadows.
He actually gave me that pen back. Most other people would’ve forgotten and just taken it, but Nick didn’t and I appreciated that.
I only ever interacted with Nick those two times. despite sharing a few classes with both Chris and Matt over the years, I’ve probably never even held eye contact with either of them.
I’ve been watching everyone.
Bullying isn’t really a thing. Sure there were some hurtful comments by jocks here and there but it really wasn’t as bad as in the movies.
Besides I think most people forget i even exist so they don’t even bother bullying me.
I’ve had my eye on Matt for a while. Not in a weird way. But Matt seems to pretty obviously have anxiety too. I don’t know if he’s open about it, I’m not in his friend circle.
But every time I’m feeling overwhelmed and we’re in the same room, I unconsciously glance at him to see if he feels the same or if I’m just going crazy.
Chris seems to be the loudest and most extroverted one. And while yes, Nick seems pretty extroverted too, Chris seems more… random? Bold?
I sulk in the back of the class my lips pulled into a tight line as I try to get myself together.
There is literally no reason for me to be feeling like this. Honestly no one has tried to talk to me today, nothing happened, I just feel so overwhelmed.
I raise my hand just slightly. I make eye contact with the teacher. Mrs. Evans. I literally love her, she’s so kind.
Her son is apparently mute too.
When I was diagnosed with selective mutism they thought it’d be a great idea to make me learn sign language just in case, and that’s just what I did.
Since Mrs. Evans son is mute, her son, as well as her and her husband also learned sign language.
So whenever I needed something I could sign to her. Not that I wouldn’t be too embarrassed too.
Our eyes lock. Everyone was working on some paper I should also be doing, but I’m too busy hyperventilating.
I let my hand drop on my desk and glance at the door quietly asking if I can go to the nurses office since I was too tired and ashamed to sign it to her.
She gives me a pitying smile but nods. I hate pity, but then again that’s better than getting told im faking.
I look around the class of students. I get up, as quiet as I can. I pack up my little stuff and quietly walk to the front of the class. I nod in appreciation and walk outside.
I stare at the ground while I walk down the hallway. I sigh.
I feel my eyes start to water and I bite the inside of my cheek.
Honestly I should probably go to the nurses office to get checked out, just so I can leave. But I don’t think I can handle communicating with another human.
I feel like I’m about to break down. I continue to walk down the hallway clutching the straps of my bag harshly.
I consider if driving home even is a good idea seeing as I’m about to have a mental breakdown. Or-
Suddenly I bump into someone.
I close my eyes trying not to cry right then. I don’t know who I bumped into but I want to apologize, but I know that I can’t, and since I don’t know who I bumped into I don’t know if it’s someone who’ll be mean about it or-
I’m taken off guard by a gentle brush to my upper arm.
“You’re good, it’s okay” I hear a soft voice say. I can feel my lip quivering, I feel like if I open my eyes the tears brimming at my waterline will actually fall.
“can you open your eyes?” It sounds more like a question, and that voice sounds painfully familiar but I can’t quite place it.
I want to tell him that I can’t, that I’ll cry if I do and I’ll feel even more embarrassed. But my curiosity takes over me.
So I slightly blink open my eyes. I don’t open my eyes fully, just enough to see the person through my tears.
It’s Matt, looking down at me all concerned.
I blink my eyes open. at the sight I watch his expression relax just slightly.
He himself looks overwhelmed, and honestly I don’t know if it’s because of how I’m acting, or if he had a shitty day himself.
“You okay?” He sighs slightly. I watch as he licks his lips and swallows thickly.
I take in another deep breath trying to calm down. I nod just slightly, but while I do the tears in my eyes finally spill.
I feel my hot tears run down my face. Matt’s eyes immediately widen and his mouth opens slightly like he thinks it’s his fault.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no please don’t cry.” He holds up his hands in front of my face as if he wanted to wipe my tears away but was holding himself back because he didn’t know my boundaries.
He looked miserable, like he was about to cry himself. And I just know that something this wouldn’t have him emotional like this on a normal day. At least I don’t think it would. But he seemed to be overwhelmed as well.
I scrunch my nose slightly sniffling in response. I glance back up at him and the sorrow in his eyes makes me want to sink into myself. I breathe out shakily.
Before I know it I’m bringing my hands up to my face and covering it. I tilt my head forward trying to stop crying, because crying in the school halls is just pathetic.
“I’m sorry. Fuck- can I touch you?” I hear his frantic voice. I appreciate that he asked first. I want a hug, but then again I don’t know Matt. But he just seems so genuine.
I overthink not responding to his question. My thoughts spiral at the sound of the sweet nothings and apologies leaving his mouth, only being back round noise.
Matt seems to notice that I’m starting to spiral. I feel his hand tenderly touch my wrist. I flinch slightly, and as soon as I do I feel him retract his hand.
Everybody deals with anxiety differently, some people like to be physically grounded others liked to be comforted some other way and I just knew that Matt was trying to figure out what to do without overstepping.
I’d tell him that it’s okay, or that he can hug me, but I literally can’t speak and I feel too embarrassed to let him see my teary face.
“I’m sorry, I’m-“ I hear Matt let out a breath. I know an anxiety breath when I hear one, he is panicking.
I decide to bite the bullet, what’s the worst that can happen. I look up slightly and peak through my fingers.
His hands are up and frozen. He looks almost frantic, Matt looks like the only way he knows how to ground me is by hugging me or something, but he seems unsure if that’s okay.
Despite myself I let out a little nod. Matt lets out another breath but this time he actually touches me, and I don’t flinch.
He holds my wrist and gently pulls my hands off of my face.
I let out a shaky sigh. I can’t help it when I let my head fall forward.
“It’s okay.” He says sweetly under his breath. He puts his hand under my chin as he picks my face up. Our eyes lock. I see the way Matt is also crying, tears running down his face too and I relax just a little.
He never seemed like the type to make fun of someone for crying, but especially not now.
“You wanna go to my car?” He says softly, not in a way where he is forcing me to do anything, but rather offering.
And honestly as upset as i am I have to weigh my options. Would I rather cry in the school hallways or in Matt’s car?
The best option would be to go to the bathroom, but Matt wouldn’t be able to come with, and honestly I would feel too bad leaving him alone at this point.
So I nod.
I feel Matt’s arm go around my shoulders as he hugs me for a moment. He turns me, and starts walking in a way where his arm is still around my shoulder keeping me close to him.
We walk out to the parking lot. I watch as Matt unlocks the car and opens the door for me to enter.
And by this point, if I go out this way so be it…
Before i can even register Matt is also getting into the backseat next to me.
We just look at each other for a moment. He breathes out another anxiety sigh.
“You want a hug?” And with that I don’t really know if he’s asking for me, or to comfort himself. But regardless I nod.
I feel his arms come around me and I sink into the feeling of his hug.
I’m uncertain if by tomorrow he’ll act like this all never happened, or if he’ll try to get to know me, because I’ve been wanting to know him for a while and I would more then gladly let him.
Masterlist
A/n: I know this is really short and I’ve been uploading a lot of angst recently. But I’ve been feeling sad, and every time I do write smut it’s for Kinktober. Soon you’ll get smut tho. Also this ended up a lot like crybaby. <3
‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️
Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo , @chr1sgirl4life
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Woozi as a doctor??? Giving massages? New gose hits hard
— physical therapist!woozi
god he’s SO HOT HELP.
warnings: reader was in a car accident. jihoon definitely violates some,,, things. moderate medical malpractice (getting dicked down during an appointment). unprotected sex. mild ass play. not medically accurate i have no idea how this shit works. DONT TRY N SEDUCE UR DOCTORS!!!
after you hydroplaned on the highway, totalling your car, your insurance (surprisingly) opted to cover your physical therapy.
and by god if you weren’t going milk that opportunity for all it was worth.
that’s how you found yourself at a holistic physical therapy clinic. the highest rated one in busan, being seen by their best doctor.
“doctor lee will see you now.” the receptionist smiled at you. the green walls of the clinic were earthy and warm. the general vibe was quite comforting and pleasant; it’s the kind of place you’d want to get better in. your knee clicks uncomfortably as you walk.
you push the door open to his office, and out of everything you could’ve expected, you didn’t expect to see a young man, barely into his thirties with his sleeves rolled up and rimless glasses sitting on his face. his grown out dark hair frames his face perfectly, and on first impression, the only thing you notice about him is how undeniably handsome he is.
“you must be my four o’clock. y/n?” his voice is low and kind, his smile wide on his face. he speaks with the regions dialect, and though you’re used to it, it makes something inside of you twist. you swallow nervously.
“yes, that’s me.” your own smile is tight.
“i’m doctor lee, but please call me jihoon. the doctor title makes me feel old. have a seat.” he gestures laughing quietly, and you take a seat in the large leather chair. he pulls up a stool to sit next to you. “from what i can see from your chart, you were in a car accident?” jihoon asks carefully.
you nod, unable to look at him. “i see. and you had some torn ligaments that healed, but now you’re having issues with mobility and have some clicking in your left hip and knee, correct?” his voice is so soft and careful, and you can immediately get the impression that he cares about his patients. that’s probably why he’s the top rated doctor in all of busan.
“yeah. uh, i definitely shouldn’t be in this much pain after two months so i went to my doctor and he referred me here.” you laugh nervously. jihoon smiles at you reassuringly.
“well, how about i get you to stand up for me so i can do an assessment and i’ll see what i can do for you?” you nod, standing, and jihoon starts to scan over your body. he immediately starts to take you in, eyes analyzing your lower half. “is it okay if i touch you? just to see your hip alignment?” he asks, crouching down to the ground.
“yeah.” the doctors hands find your hips soon after. he squeezes and pokes, asks repeatedly if the pressure of his touch hurts you at all. his hands move down the side of your legs to your knees where he does the same thing
“from what i can see, your hip alignment is off. same with your knee. it would be a relatively easy fix, but because of your torn ligaments we have to be more careful. i think the best plan of action is to go over some exercises for you to do at home and then we’ll go over what needs to be done when you’re here.” the doctor sits back down on his stool as he gestures for you to take a seat again.
jihoon jumps right into it, directing you in various exercises to help with your mobility. he talks to you the whole time, asking about your accident, what you do for work, if you’ve lived in busan your whole life. you answer him earnestly, still a little shy because of the situation your in.
you never were fond of doctors, and jihoon seems to pick up on that as he keeps the conversation light and comfortable. he moved you to a big table, and has you lay down so he can work on your hip.
“this might hurt. i’m sorry in advance. it should just be a lot of pressure.” his hands press lightly against your hip at first as he lets you adjust to the pressure. then his whole body weight comes down in the same spot, and you yelp loudly, biting your lip as you try not to swear.
he chuckles softly, body still leaning over you so his voice is right in your ear. “don’t worry, this room is sound proof.” you laugh through the pain, but the relief feels almost immediate. your hip isn’t as stiff.
jihoon continues working on you until the end of your session, and when you stand you feel a little lighter. he smiles at you, wishing you well for the week.
and so your first session ends with doctor lee, and you leave his office with a stack of papers and another appointment booked for next week.
session after session with jihoon, your body starts to return to how it was before your accident.
the appointments are comfortable, and after six months, you’re able to joke around with your doctor. maybe it’s because he’s quite young, and you’re young, that his conversation begins to feel natural.
it feels like you’re almost friends, meeting up once a week to hang out while he abuses you in ways that have you cursing and calling him colourful names. he always laughs it off, knows not to take anything you say too personally.
jihoon is a good doctor, but him being hot is posing quite the issue. you can’t help but stare at his exposed forearms when you enter his office. jihoon pretends not to notice, but over the few months he’s been working on you, he can’t help how interesting he finds you. and beautiful.
he thinks you’re beautiful too.
“you’re doing a lot better, y/n.” jihoon smiles at you, and you smile back, feeling the change in your body. you flex your knee as if to test his words, and the bones don’t grind uncomfortably. “honestly, i think we only have about a month left of sessions together. and then you’ll be free of me.” you roll your eyes at him.
“oh no. whatever will i do?” you jest. he laughs.
“don’t go and get yourself injured again just to spend time with me.” he flicks through your chart. “is your back pain getting any better? i thought i was from your hip but it might be something else.” his eyebrows are furrowed, glasses slipping down his nose as he scans over the sheets of paper attached to his clip board.
“it’s migrated lower. i think it’s my tail bone but i don’t know.” you offer. he’s the doctor, but you know your body. jihoon told you that a few sessions in; that your opinion mattered to the direction of your treatment.
“you mind if i check? if that’s the case it’ll be a quick adjustment. it’s possible it got jacked up when you messed up your hip.” he’s teasing you, about to call you old, which is almost ironic considering he’s in his thirties, and you’re not. you just shake your head at him, climbing up onto the table you’ve grown so familiar with.
jihoon presses lightly at the bottom of your spine, carefully pushing your hoodie up to directly feel the contour of your bones. he sighs. “i’m gonna have to move your sweats out of that way to check your tailbone. the fabrics too thick for me to really feel it. this okay?” you feel his fingers hook under the band of your sweats and you nod, humming softly as you push away any and all unholy thoughts you’re having right now.
jihoon pulls both your sweatpants and underwear down, to the middle of your ass. the elastic band keeps them down as two of his fingers trail lower down your back. you shiver, and jihoon does a good job at ignoring it as his fingers dip in between your ass cheeks. he presses down on the tip of your tailbone and you flinch.
“oh, yeah. that’s not supposed to feel like that.” he sighs, gently rubbing over the bone with his fingers. “it’s sticking out too much. i think you dislocated it.”
“y-you can dislocate a tailbone?” you stutter. his fingers are far too low for comfort.
“yes. you said you fell when you were doing your knee exercises. that’s probably how.” jihoon’s fingers graze over the bone carefully, and you shiver again. this causes his fingers to slide further down, tips brushing over the tight muscle of your asshole.
both you and jihoon freeze. he doesn’t know what to do so he removes his hand and says nothing. he cracks his fingers softly. “adjustment time.” he speaks lowly as he places his hand flat on your ass. one of his knees finds itself between your legs as he braces himself to make the adjustment.
its procedure. he’s done this dozens of times before, but something feels different this time. jihoon’s knee presses against the bottom of your ass, dangerously close to your core as he presses down.
the initial adjustment makes you yelp in pain before you laugh it off. “good. one more.” he praises, and if he doesn’t stop talking in that low tone you’re going to end up soaking this table.
the second adjustment rocks your hips into the table, moving your whole body up and then back down. he accidentally grinds you against his knee, and the table, and the sound you make this time is strained and breathy. an involuntary moan falls from your lips as you close your eyes. jihoon freezes again. “y/n? what was that?” he asks carefully. he knows what it was.
“i- uh, i didn’t mean to- fuck.” your voice is suddenly whiny, and that’s when it fully clicks.
“oh.” jihoon briefly removes his hands from your ass, before he palms one of your cheeks. “i see.” he squeezes carefully. you arch into his touch, and though you can’t see him, he smirks.
“i’m sorry, i really didn’t mean to react like that. it’s just—” jihoon’s other hand finds your other cheek as he pulls your sweats down a little further.
you’re still trying to defend yourself, maintain professional integrity for him, even though you’ve been painfully obvious in the way you stare at him and check him out. “please forgive me if i’ve read into this wrong, but i’m under the impression that you’re into me. is that correct?” jihoon leans down, right next to your ear as he speaks. his breath hits your neck and you shiver. you nod. “good, because it’s been absolute torture having to work on your hips with this ass on display for me every single week.” he rubs your ass with both hands, leaning down further to kiss your neck softly.
you whine, leaning into his touch. his lips are soft against your neck as he pecks at it lightly. “jihoon,” you whine softly, hands gripping at nothing.
“do you want this?” he pulls away from your neck to ask you. you whine out a yes, and jihoon flips you over onto your back in one quick motion.
you gasp at the sheer strength of him. it’s not entirely shocking, not when you’ve seen his forearms out at every single appointment. but he’s far stronger than you expected. jihoon slides off the table, towering over you. you lean up, grabbing at the collar of his shirt to pull him down to kiss you.
the kiss is electric, full of tongue and spit as all the weeks of checking each other out come to a head. you tug at the belt loops on his slacks, hands sliding over his leather belt. jihoon chuckles against your lips, pulling you to sit up before he unfastens his belt.
jihoon slides himself in between your legs, thigh pressing against your core as you grind against him. he pulls his belt free from his pants, popping the button on his pressed slacks as he continues to lick into your mouth. you whine against his lips and he chuckles softly, undoing his zipper. he pushes his pants down to his ankles, not bothering to step out of them as he manhandles you back into the padded table.
“lay back for me, baby.” he purrs, lips leaving yours to find your neck again. you do as he says, resting your weight on your elbows so you can get a better look at him. with strong hands, his lifts your legs up, grabbing the band of your sweats which had slipped further down your ass with all the movement. he pulls them down to your knees, pushing your thighs apart as he watches the way your pussy seems to throb in the cool air of his office.
jihoon swears under his breath as he licks his fingers to run them over your folds. you whine, eyes closing and jihoon tuts. “look at me.” you do as he says, watching him as he pushes two fingers inside of you. “so fucking wet for me.” he curses as your body pulls his fingers inside with ease.
he fuck you with two digits, watching your reactions carefully, drinking in every single moan and whine you try to silence. as much as he’d love to make you cum on his fingers, your time is quite constrained with your hour appointment, so he pulls them out, sticking them in his own mouth to lick them clean.
jihoon moans around his fingers, using his other hand to pull his boxers down and give his cock a few lazy strokes. your knees block the view, so you look to the side to see him touching himself. his cock is large and thick in his hand, and your mouth waters at the sight of it.
jihoon smirks, stepping forward a few steps to rub his tip through your folds. you whine, breathy pants the only sound you’re capable of making. “god, just fuck me. please.” you plead, and jihoon smirks again but listens to you.
jihoon lines himself up and pushes his tip in. the stretch burns, so he gives you a few moments to adjust. “so fucking big, my god.” you hiss, lip between your teeth as you adjust to the stretch of him. when you give him a silent nod to go ahead and move, he pushes in further, sheathing his cock in your warm walls.
jihoon hisses, eyes fluttering shut. he pushes his glasses back up on his face, hand anchoring down on the back of your thigh as he slides back out. his face is flushed as he pants. you’re so warm and wet; he won’t last long. “you’re so tight, baby. fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” he pants, thrusting back into you.
he sets a fast pace, the sound of skin on skin echoing through out his office. you’re barely there; hardly coherent as his thick cock drags against your walls, his tip brushing against your spot with each thrust.
jihoon’s thumb flattens down on your clit, and it’s too much. you pull him back down for a kiss, which he returns eagerly, as your walls tighten around him. you moan into his mouth, hand finding his hair to pull him in closer. his thumb rubs circles over the swollen nerve and you shudder as a long moan leaves your lips.
you cum around his cock, the added wetness help him slide into you to fuck you through your orgasm. you tighten around him impossibly more, and that sends jihoon over the edge.
his hips stutter as he cums inside of you. he pants against your mouth, sighing contentedly as he comes down with you. his cock slips out of you once the final drop is milked from his cock, and he plants a delicate kiss to your forehead.
jihoon’s quick to pull his boxers and slacks back up as you catch your breath. he massages your thigh carefully, watching the way his cum slowly leaks out of you and drips onto the padded table. “c’mon baby. let me help you get your pants back up.” your sweats are still at your knees, and you comply, lifting you hips for him to pull them back over your ass. you sigh, unable to look at him.
jihoon leaves you to go to his desk, pulling out a business card and a pen as he writes something down on it. “we’re almost out of time for today, but call me before our next appointment. i’d like to take you to dinner.” he presents the card to you with two fingers, and you take it hesitantly before you nod and get off the table. “i’m serious. it’ll be a date. if you want.” your lack of response seems to have jihoon on edge.
you smile softly at his sudden nerves. “i’d like that. thank you.” you grab your bag and head out of his office without turning back. you don’t see jihoon punch the air in victory.
“well. looks like our time here is up. you’ve been a lovely patient.” jihoon smiles, clip board in hand.
“it’s been a pleasure, doctor lee.” you smirk, finger trailing over his collar bone through his shirt.
“oh, don’t you start.” he scoffs, but he’s smiling at you fondly, cheeks on full display as his eyes crinkle.
“we’re still on for dinner at seven, right?” you ask, already knowing the answer.
“of course, love. i’ll pick you up. i was thinking about a movie and maybe a back massage at my place after? if you’re okay with that.” jihoon can’t take his eyes off you.
“you know i’m always down for a back massage from you.” you peck his cheek.
“i swear you just use me for my physical therapy perks.” he rolls his eyes at you fondly.
“maybe i do.” your boyfriend laughs before he kisses you softly.
#seventeen x reader#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x you#seventeen x carat#woozi x reader#woozi x you#svt woozi#woozi imagines#woozi smut#woozi scenarios#seventeen woozi#seventeen woozi x reader#svt woozi x reader#woozi x y/n#lee jihoon x reader#lee jihoon x you#lee jihoon smut#lee jihoon imagines#jihoon x reader#jihoon smut#seventeen jihoon#jihoon scenarios#seventeen jihoon x reader#lee jihoon x y/n#jihoon x y/n#jihoon x you
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