#i should maybe make a post about that actually
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tbh when I first saw the sentence "Activism is not cold-calling" I thought it was gonna go in a different direction. I fully agree with the post! and it reminds me of the advice on how to build community that is about *listening* to people first and actually engaging them in what they care about instead of rattling off some points YOU care about.
so for example, instead of going to Moderate Jason saying "Hello comrade do you have a minute to talk about socialism and how billionaires' taxes should pay for bike lanes!?" just have a normal conversation and ask them what kind of problems bother them or what difficulties they have to deal with in their day to day lives. and you actually listen and ask questions and care about what they think and see if you can find any common ground. maybe the two of you (or them and someone else you know) face a similar problem or one with the same root cause or with the same solution.
and this is not about getting them to parrot talking points or use the same kind of political language you do or join your group - this is about getting them to consider that maybe there are approaches to their problems that are community focused rather than individualistic, that are about shared humanity rather than pointing fingers at scapegoats, that are pushing towards flatter hierarchies rather than more authoritarianism.
again, they might not use or like all those particular words. maybe they'll say "back in my day, I would bike to school, it's a shame that's not safe anymore for my kids to do now." and then you two together can brainstorm ideas of what might be done about that in your specific circumstances. and you do what you can to help with it! whether you teach them about citizens initiatives or organise a "kiddical mass" (bike demo with kids) or whatever else fits.
but of course bike lanes might not be important to Moderate Jason at all. it's just one example. maybe they're a car nut and care about right to repair. or maybe they like sitting at home watching tv and care about avoiding ads and trackers, or about media depiction and representation of characters with a marginalised trait they or someone they care about has.
chances are, you will find *something* they want to talk about that is influenced by "politics" in a wider sense. and you can just mention how you see these issues or what you can think of that might help.
it helps to practice this approach in your head or with like-minded friends: go through all kinds of different things people care about and think how those could be done better in your utopia. and what might be small steps from here to there.
I do that with fiction constantly. from sitcoms to epic sff, I often go "how would I propose this group or society handle things/ what would I do to make their world a better, more just place?" Or just revelling in how cool the heroes are that they actually do good things (and remembering those tactics and figuring out how to apply them to the real world)
Activism is not cold-calling.
Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.
I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.
As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, Iâve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, âwhere is it safe to have a union conversation.â Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.
Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.
IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.
Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.
This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if youâre dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.
Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if youâre not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than âa break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.â We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and thatâs the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.
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You should tell us about color psychology that sounds cool as hell
YES⊠HA HA HA⊠YES!
GGGOD I WISH I WASNâT OUT OF THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW. but iâve been thinking about colors literally all day so you all get to be subject to my madness! sorry this is long and rambly wauaua. nightmarishly long post under the cut.
okay. first things first, a few basics. color theory and color psychology tend to get confused a lot in discussions, but they usually refer to different things. color theory is more about we physically perceive colors (color wheels and color schemes the like), while color psychology focuses on our emotional response to colors. if youâre familiar with the childrenâs hospital color theory post, that poster wasnât actually talking about color theory, but color psychology (and also itâs incredibly surface level and heavily misunderstands the subject because in what fucking universe does the quantity of positive associations with a color matter more than the context itâs used in and sorry i have personal beef with this tumblr post).
color theory is also a special interest of mine but iâm not gonna touch on it too much here because itâs not entirely important. mmmaybe another timeâŠ
essentially, certain colors (and color combinations) have associations in our brains and that affect our behavior and emotions. these associations are also very much affected by the context a color is used in. colors donât exist in a vacuum! so while red can symbolize passion and love when used in something like a dress or a bouquet of flowers, it has a very different connotation when itâs, say, splattered on the walls or smeared on the ground in a snail trail.
or for a less Childrenâs Hospital Themed example, iâll put my euphrasie and king designs here!
(of course the saturation and brightness of these blues play a massive part in how theyâre perceived but this is not a post about color theory this is n)
and, of course, combining colors in a piece can also change their meanings!! iâm about to get real fucking normal.
iâm gonna be focusing on the color combo of red and yellow here because itâs the one thatâs most relevant to my art (and also itâs really interesting.) basically, seeing these two colors together activates the part of our brain that controls our appetite, making us actually feel hungry. this is why so many food companies use red and yellow in their branding! itâs neat stuff!!
also, if youâre familiar with it, this is why the mv for butcher vanity uses this color palette!! along with redâs general associations with danger and blood, the color combo also physically induces hunger. pretty fitting for a song about cannibalism!
(there is also redâs association with lust and passion and how that intersects with the double meaning in the lyrics but i cannot derail this post into being an analysis of butcher vanity iâm sorry. weâd be here all week. maybe another day... wipes a tear from my eye)
and i think this might be the reason why some people feel hungry when they see my art, even when iâm not drawing food. while i donât tend to use red outright, most of my art has very warm undertones (red-oranges and yellows especially), which could be activating that hunger response??
(ah fuck color theory managed to weasel its way into this post again)
admittedly this part is just speculation on my end. i think my rendering style and Shapes also play a role in it, but itâs interesting for me to think about!!
this is only scratching the surface of how complicated colors can get. i was going to go on an entire tangent about color grading and how green lighting can make a scene feel unnerving but this post is already Too Fucking Long. aaaa super sorry if this is Rambly or hard to understand!! iâm not Entirely sure how much the average person knows about color theory and psychology so if thereâs any confusing terms here iâm fine with adding stuff for clarity!
wauauuaa thank you so much for asking!!!! i love talking about colors.
tl;dr colors have a bunch of different emotions and meanings tied to them, but youâve gotta pay attention to the context in which itâs being used. so maybe take a step back before you put that thick red trail on the floor of your childrenâs hospital.
#marshtalkin#<- and by god did i TALK.#hhholy fuck how long is this. im so sorry i thought this was gonna be WAY shorter#admittedly i only realized colors were a special interest. fairly recently?#i genuinely didnât consider that most artists probably donât spend hours pacing around thinking about color symbolism#<- god donât even get me started on color symbolism in my designs iâm so fucking normal#âŠdo i even tag this as isat?? i mean i know i have to tag spoilers anyways#because of euphrasie#but this is mostly a post about color psychology even if iâm using my isat art as examples#aaaa whatever#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#color theory#color psychology#asks#also actually as a sidenote. sometimes color psychology is called a subsection of color theory?#but generally when someone is talking about color theory theyâre talking about the technical side of things#terminology is weird and confusing unfortunatelyâŠ
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40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER TEN
thought iâd be lying if i said âi didnât want you to myself.â when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that itâs mine, iâŠ
pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc
taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @wbbgetsmewetter @rosemariiaa @tndaqlifwy @patscorner @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @makethemhoesmad @slvt4her @uconnpazzi @luvapaigeeyy @hedidnotpleaseme @paigesbabygirl @mopopshop @omg-imtumbling @ch12334 @wbb4l
warnings angst (?), homophobia/homophobic slur, sexual innuendos, sexual content.
kalena speakss đȘœ! so hereâs the ACTUAL chapter ten, i accidentally posted a different version last night so if you saw that just completely disregard it lmao
July 2025 â Crypto.com Arena, Los Angeles, CaliforniaÂ
ââPreciate you cominâ out, man.â I nod, my hand giving a firm dap to Julian.
Yeah, the Julian whoâs girlfriend I seem to be helplessly obsessed with.
We had just beat the Fever at home in a blow out on the second night of a back-to-back. My body is aching, and as soon as I left the locker room, I was ready to push through those metal doors and go home. Maybe stop for some dinner too.Â
Until I heard it. The voice that has replayed in my head rather than in my ears for the last week and a half. That slight southern drawl with the occasional upbeat ending. Itâs perfect, and I didn't realize how bad Iâd missed it until now.
I meant it when I thought I needed a break. Maraye was running laps in my head, like a marathon. Sheâs all I seem to be surrounded by. But thereâs so many issues, and Nika was right: I donât need to be getting hurt again.
So I stepped back, wanting to figure out what I really did want.Â
Now I know that I want her in my bed, hands in my hair, moans of my name leaving her mouth. More importantly, though, I want her to be mine. So damn badly. I wanted to grow with her, watch her succeed up close, to do all the things with her that come with a relationship.Â
That shit was fucking terrifying. I can't remember the last time I let a girl get this close to me. To learn me in the way Maraye has been able to. Or even being able to learn her in the way that I have.
So when she stands there, next to Julian in her curve hugging jeans and a cropped shirt with my name and number, her eyes looking everywhere but at myself, I know that something is off.
âCongrats All-star.â She says to me, eyes looking at me but not really. She darts everywhere but at my eyes, which normally are her main attraction.
The All-star list dropped at halftime, Rickea and Dearica making the list as well. A smile spreads onto my face and I finally drop my hand from Julianâs. âThanks, angel.â It slips. I shouldnât have said it, not here in front of him. I knew I shouldnât.
It was so natural, falling from my tongue like butter.Â
I see his eyebrows furrow, looking down at his girlfriend as if she would stop me from calling her that again.Â
âYou cominâ to Indy?â
âI was thinking about it. Yeah.â Raye answers and itâs the first time throughout this awkward exchange that I actually see those eyes. Wide, doe, eyes that I know I could happily spend the rest of my life just looking at. âUh, we. We were thinking about going.â She corrects when Julian darts his head to her.
I nod, wiping the palms of my hands on the side of my jeans.Â
âI should probably head out, Ion wanna keep yâall too long.â I force out through the tension. I donât want to leave. Because I know that as soon as I do, Iâm going to force myself into more dry texts and ignore her calls and keep myself away from looking at that damn perfect face.Â
âYou sure?â Julian questions me. His tone is skeptical, like he knows something that I donât. Or that he knows something that he shouldnât.
âYeah, I got some places to be at too.â I hum, pulling my phone out to look at the time. Itâs not late, barely even 10 oâclock, but that slight movement is enough to make them both think I have other plans.
Maraye pushes her curls from her face, the bright white hallway lights make her gold septum glisten in her nose. âIâll see you around then?â She asks, taking a step closer to me and we hug.
The only difference is this hug isnât what Iâm used to. It isnât the hug where her arms wrap around my neck, mine feel on the swell of her ass, and I can smell every bit of the scent she chose to wear. That would be too risky.
So instead she holds me by my side, my arm cautiously around her shoulder while her palm presses into my back. Itâs difficult for me to keep my composure because deep down I know that I should be able to hug her however I damn well please.Â
And I canât.
All because of him. Itâs always him.
â
The hum of the engine is all that fills the car, along with the occasional voice of whatever rapper Julian has playing at minimal volume while I drive.Â
Itâs been like this for a minute. Just the two of us sitting quietly, my finger tips occasionally tapping against the steering wheel while he stares out the window. Iâm supposed to be taking us to his place, weâd eat some dinner and maybe watch a movie.
âSo, you and Paige, huh?â He asks, his voice so monotonous.
My hands start to sweat and nearly slip down the wheel. âWhat?â
He turns his head towards me and though my eyes are glued to the road ahead, I can feel the way his dark eyes are burning holes into my skin.Â
âYou and her. Yâall got something goinâ on? She callinâ you angel and you donât do nothinâ about it?â His voice casually picks up, going from nonchalant to angry in a matter of seconds. I briefly look at him, and even through the darkness of the night I can see his light skin slowly build in a red tint.
âPaige and I are friends, Ju.â I breathe out. I know thatâs true, even though itâs also a lie. Paige and I stopped being just friends the second I kissed her on my couch.
âThen why the hell is it that you been hanging out with her so much, but the second Iâm around yâall wanna be all awkward and you wanna look at the floor?â
Itâs my fault for thinking that he wouldnât be able to pick up on our awkward exchanges, because the tension was very noticeable. It was my first time seeing her since that night in the studio. Sheâs been avoidant lately, and honestly I couldnât even blame her.
She was over it. And I guess I am too.Â
Yet, here I stand, lying to Julian once again and letting him think nothing is wrong. Keeping him at arm's reach when I should really be letting him go.
âIâm sick of fighting, Julian.â I told him. Thatâs also true. I am so damn exhausted from all the back and forth yelling, but right now I just really donât want to have this specific conversation.Â
âAnswer my fucking question, Raye. Are you fucking her?â He yells, never taking his glance off the side of my face.
âWhat, no!â I look over at him again, my hands shaking while I grip the wheel. âQuit being so insecure! Just because I got good people in my life, doesnât mean Iâm fucking them. Iâm with you.â
I hate this. This lying and manipulation. I fucking hate it because this isnât who I am. Iâm not an asshole. Iâm not a cheater. Then here I am, doing everything I write about in my songs, hurting him just to protect my own image.
âInsecure? You think Iâm jealous of that fucking fag? Like she can give you anything that I do.â He scoffs. His words hit my ears and as I process them, they taste bitter. Every gear in my head starts turning and I start to get angry. Not at what he said, but how he speaks about her. I waste no breath in defending her.
âWatch how the fuck you talk about her, Ju.â
We approached his apartment complex.
âWhy you defending her?â
âWhy are you calling her out her name?â I yell back.
Heâs silent. We stop at a light and I turn my whole head to make eye contact with him. âShouldâve never that you get close to that fuckinâ dyke. You wanna fuck around with her, go do that shit then.â
I reach for the panel on my door, pressing the unlock button. The click echos through the car. âGet out.â
He looks at me surprised, as if he didnât expect me to say that to him. âRaye.â
âNo. You wanna talk to me crazy, you wanna talk about Paige crazy. So get the fuck out.â I reason. âYour place is right there. Walk. Get the fuck out of my car, Julian.â
He scoffs, slumping back against the seat. âMan, you crazy.â
âGet out of my car. You think Iâm fuckinâ joking?â I laugh completely irritated. I reach for his phone, taking it off aux and throwing it into his lap. I look at him expectantly.
Julian huffs, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the passenger door. He hops out, looking at me with squinted eyes. âSo youââ
âClose my door.â I cut him off, no longer looking back at him, but the green light that is blaring at me to keep driving.
He huffs, slamming the door and I speed off as soon as he does so.
I sit with my own thoughts. So much running through my head, but it all goes back to her. And suddenly I donât care about the lying or the distance. I just want to talk to her. To talk to Paige.
I pull off into a nearby gas station, pulling my phone out of my purse.
can we talk?
It isnât even a few seconds before the gray text bubbles pop up on my screen. Then they disappear and I groan.
Until they pop up again, this time fast and insistent.
Yeah we should
Come over?
I know better. Me and Paige donât have a great track record of keeping our hands to ourselves when weâre alone. So I should text back that we should meet somewhere else.
Thatâs until she texts me again: Please?
send your addy
And she does.
â
My leg bounces from where I sit on a kitchen stool. Itâs not in the anxious way, but in the distracting way. My arm is stretched out over the edge of the counter that I lean on. My fingers tug on my bottom lip while I look at her.
Rayeâs been here for a few minutes, going on about something Julian has done. I was listening at first, I think he knows and argument being the specific terms that stuck in my head.
She stood in front of me, pulling her curls up into a bun on the top of her head. It makes the hem of that damned cropped shirt ride up on her body and expose gold jewelry on her belly button.
So yes, itâs hard to listen to what sheâs saying when sheâs practically tempting me right now. But I do listen when she says:
âI dunno. Iâm done with all of this shit.â
If I were a dog, my ears would practically be perking up at it. I sit up straight, leaning with my elbows on my knees to get closer. To make sure I heard her correctly.
Throughout this whole encounter with Maraye, sheâs only ever told me she was tired or that she was bothered. Not once did she ever tell me she was done, and that makes all the difference.
âYouâre done? For real?â
âYes. I dunno. Itâs not that simple, P.â
I let out a scoff. âYes it is. You arenât comfortable âround him like you are with me. You donât spend all day with him like you do with me.â I shrug my shoulders, slightly frustrated. I feel like Iâve given Raye enough evidence that Iâm better, as cocky as it sounds. But yet here we are. âItâs hella simple. You jusâ donât wanna admit it.â
âI didnât come here for you to scold me.â
âSo whatcha come here for then, huh?â I ask, standing up from the stool.Â
My hair tumbles down my shoulders as I tower over her. Marayeâs eyes trail down my body and the white shirts that clings to each ridge of my body.
âYou wanna kiss me? Wanâ me to fuck you? Wanna keep talking about him? What do you want, Raye? âCause I know what I asked you to come here for.â
âAnd whyâd you do that, Paige?â She responds, getting in my face.
I should be bothered and put up yet another defense. Then Iâm reminded that sheâs already defensive, herself. Sheâs frustrated from all the arguing that took place the minute I left her and Julian at Crypto.Â
Sheâs mad. And normally Iâd justify her anger, but tonight; itâs all our fault. We made a mess, started seeing each other in a way that we shouldnât have and Julian caught on. He knows.
âWell for one, Ion wanna be a home-wrecker.â I say, throwing my hands up. âYou might be over him theoretically and he might be a raging asshole, but I donât do that shit, Raye.â And I donât.
Fooling around, seeing multiple girls, I used to do a lot of it. I can admit that. Home-wrecking, however, has never been on my list.
Raye lets out a snort. âSpell theoretically.â
I huff and run my hands through my hair. âYouâre so unbelievably annoying.â I respond, stepping away and walking past her to my couch but she tugs my arm.
âOkay, wait.â She laughs. âYouâre right.â
âIâm always right.â
âYeah, okay.â I stand in front of her again. This time weâre even closer, her hand wrapped around my wrist. âWhat do you want me to do?â Itâs more of a statement than a question because she knows.
She knows I want her to breakup with him and choose me and then let me fuck her within an inch of her life immediately after. That, I could get behind.
âYou wanna hear me say it?â
âPlease?âÂ
Rayeâs free hand trails up my arm. Sheâs so tempting, the words so close to dying on my tongue and not being heard at all. Her voice is so enticing, and she looks up at me through her lashes like I hung the moon.
âI⊠want you, to make a fucking decision.â My voice doesnât waver as I look deep into her eyes. âYou can choose whoever you want, but I canât keep doinâ this. You choose.â
This is the closest Iâm going to get to fighting her off. I donât push her arm off of me or tell her to back up. This is the closest Iâll get, because I simply canât get enough of her.
âOkay.â Maraye nods, clutching onto my bicep.
âOkay? Thatâs it? You not gonna yell at me for making you choose?â
She smiles and shakes her head. The bun on her head shakes a little, and it makes me smile too. âIâll choose. You gotta give me some time thoâ. Few days maybe?â
It seems pretty reasonable to me, though Iâd rather she break up with him right this minute over the phone, that would be just a bit crazy.
âWe got a road trip. Iâll be gone all week, that work?â
âYouâre really serious about this, huh?â
âI just need to know. You pick him, fine.â I shrug. âBut if you pick me, even better.â
She grins. âItâs giving Meredith Grey.â
Now I push her off me, listening to the way her laugh fills my ears and bounces off the walls. She stumbles back a tad before catching me on the couch. My back rests against it while Maraye stands in front of me, the spot between my legs becoming designated for her.
âCâmon. It was funny!â
âYouâre an idiot.â
âIâm a sexy idiot.â
I hum, rolling my eyes.
It was things like this I missed. The laughter, the jokes, the comfort. Sure she was stunning, and the flirting and kisses were otherworldly, but this topped it. These moments with Maraye that were so hard to come by.
I like the way she looks when sheâs looking down at me. Itâs intimidating, but still so damn hot.
âA very sexy one.â I finally respond, sitting up more so she can see me better. âThese jeans look incredible on you, by the way.â
âYeah? You wanâ a 360?â Raye jokes.
âI want a 180, angel.â I reply. My hands reach for her hips, playing with the fabric of her belt loops. Raye brushes me off, making a frown spread across my mouth.Â
She bows her head to check the dainty watch on her wrist. âItâs late, P. I should get home.â
âYou could stay here with me.â My hands drop from her body, instead using my eyes to suggestively try and convince her to stay the night. Itâs a joke. Mostly.
âAnd you were the one who said no more home-wrecking.â
â
My lips are pressed against hers, tongues swirling and spit swapping between the both of us.
Itâs urgent. More urgent than any way Paige has ever kissed me before. She doesnât give me a second to think before her finger is breaking me open and Iâm gushing all over her. The stretch is so foreign, and I canât believe how unbelievably full I feel with just one finger.
âLike this?â She asks after pulling back with a nasty suck of my tongue. Iâm nodding at her words tucking my lip between my teeth.Â
âMmph yes. Yes.â A whimper rumbles from my mouth. I clutch into her shoulder, tossing my head back until it hits the pillow under me.Â
My legs start closing in on themselves when she adds a second one. âIâm tryna make you feel good, baby. Why you fightinâ me?â Paige asks. Her voice as deep and hungry as I ever heard it.Â
Her fingers curl into me, thumb rubbing tight circles on my unbelievably sensitive clit. She found it within a matter of milliseconds, it felt like. And the lights were off.
âHe fuck you better than me? Huh?â
I barely hear her over the sound of my own cunt but that doesnât stop me from shaking my head eagerly. âNo. Fuck no, P. He doesnât.âÂ
Iâm nearly melting at the stimulation. Her voice in my ear and her fingerâs scissoring me apart
âP.â I hiccup, nothing else filling my head except the pleasure Iâm feeling. Her fingers are so damn long, tickling the deepest parts of me that I didnât even know existed. She consumes me, swallows me whole.Â
Her mouth finds my neck again, biting on my sensitive spot and making my eyes roll. Iâm so close, my arousal already dripping past my cunt and onto the sheets below my ass. Itâs messy. Wet and messy.
âYou wanna cum for me, angel?â Paige teases, licking at the mark she left on my neck.
âFuck, Fuck! âMm God, P, youâreââ
âYouâre doinâ so good, ma. I know you wanna cum.â She nods. âJust let me have it.â
âPaige!â I moan, reaching to grip her hand.
âPretty fuckinâ girl. Cum, baby. Iâm right here.âÂ
Her words add unbelievable fuel to the fire and my back arches underneath her body. Sheâs talking me through it, bringing me to the edge and I gasp before waking up.
The sun peeks through my blinds and sleep still crusts my eyes. I wipe them, sitting up half naked in my bed.Â
I got home late last night. Closer to one in the morning. Paige was distracting, and I simply couldnât just leave when she was begging me to stay.
My body is sweaty, my breath is embarrassingly ragged, and My panties are so soaked under the shorts I wore to bed.Â
When I sit up, the duvet covering my body, I reach for my phone. Then I see them, the hundreds of texts and calls from Julian and the text from Paige.
Hope you make the right decision
Iâll see you when I get back ma đ«¶đŒ
#sierrale8ne#kalenaâs works ৠâ§âË đ” â
#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers smut#uconn wbb#la sparks#lesbian#my fic#40 days and 40 nights
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KÀÀrijÀ on YleX's "we found this online"
Translation under the cut
KÀÀrijÀ, we found this online
K: "CCC KÀÀrijĂ€ grape." They're selling it at Nokia, Pirkanmaan for 49âŹ. I sold my mustache back in the day for about that much, this grape is... pretty expensive, but... The things people come up with
K: "Would you like to be wrapped? While K plays in the stereo?" What... No, I don't! "#JustKinkyThings"
K: "it would be amazing if K would compete in TTK as Katri's student." Mm! We've actually thought about this. This would be amazing.
Interviewer: How would you do in the competition?
K: I guess I would end up second once again. Winning wasn't created for K.
K: "I can't stand it when K's necklace is always wonky, I just want to straighten it out." WHAT?
Interviewer: this is serious!
K: What? Why, what? People! Maybe you need to come straighten it out yourself
K: "Erika Vikman reveals: Ruoska has led to injuries." Who's writing these headlines? Erika's so called whip has smacked in the eye a couple of times. (Translator note: from the way he says it it's not clear if he means his eye, someone else's eye or possibly Erika's whip has multiple victims). Erika is great, I love you.
K: then... "K is a sex symbol." Mhm. I'll take that. If someone says that, I think it's a pretty positive thing. If someone likes my pötsi, that's good.
K: "I wonder if K can stand on his hands?" *Shakes his head*
Interviewer: should we try?
K: I won't do it, my arms would give out, *cracking noises*
Interviewer: excuses, legs up, boy!
K: "what in the world? K posts really raunchy material on OF." It's not that raunchy, pretty tame.
K: "I can't wait for K's 50th artist anniversary celebration tour in 2067. Acoustic CCC at Kulttuuritalo and during the intermission they'll serve green princess cake and cognac to the tables." People this is getting out of hand. I need to make this happen, so to the person who wrote this, welcome!
K: "K and Johannes from Kuumaa rubbed against and touched each other on stage." You don't even know everything.
K: "this kind of damage a shirtless rampager caused in a hotel room"
Interviewer: what's this about?
K: "The man was sentenced for property damages"
Interviewer: isn't your username paidatonriehuja?
K: well that's been... It was... That night was kinda long, can't say anything else
K: that was all
Interviewer: thank you KÀÀryle
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It makes us sound just like all the older generations that bullied us when we were growing up, making fun of whatever kids happen to be referencing lately. Itâs just bullying and we donât need to bully children because their parents let them spend too much time online and eight-year-olds suck at moderation. We would not be doing better if we were babies in quarantine and got handed iPads as pacifiers while public education crumbled still further and our parents had to work as much as theirs do to keep us fed. How about we meet them where they are, whether or not we think itâs good enough? Because theyâre kids with basically no control over their lives whoâs overworked, broke parents with their own screen addictions handed their babysitting over to tech conglomerates because itâs cheaper than daycare and community support is hard to come by. Sure we could say they should have known at three years old that their excessive screen time would hinder their development and moderated their tech consumption accordingly but that is quite the logic trip youâd have to take to justify your blanket hatred of gen Alpha. Their parents absolutely need to find time and energy to raise the kids they signed up for and yeah if their kidâs attention span is decreasing they probably fucked up. But the damage is done. Making fun of them isnât going to help them. Blame without solutions is unproductive and kids have a tendency to become what you believe they are. Youâre upset about iPad kids? Good.
Solid chance youâve got one in your life. Give their parents a break and read them a book or play pretend or build playdoh sculptures together or something. As someone who doesnât have experience with kids of the past to compare them to I swear when you accept them as they are theyâre actually pretty awesome. Maybe their memes suck but in person kid humour is still gold. And the emotional intelligence on some of them⊠good chunk of the adults I know arenât on the level of some of the ten-year-olds I work with. Youâre still mad? Maybe about their literacy levels? Push your government to fund public education and child support. Youâre mad at their parents for letting iPads raise them? Fair. Theyâre no question responsible for supporting their kidâs healthy development. Make that responsibility more manageable. Take it up with capitalism. Seriously. Do activism. Again, if you can do it without stretching yourself too thin, help a family out. Big part of the reason parents are struggling so much is because society invented the nuclear family and told them child-rearing is at most a two person job. Become part of a familyâs community. Cook your post-parnum pal a meal and clean a surface in their apartment. Be the cool adult who brings fun games when you babysit. If you really donât want to spend time around kids, buy diapers if you can. Or cover some of the back to school bill. Go bargain hunting and find a good deal on something a family needs. Be someone a parent can vent with.
If you are able to do something about the problem but you choose not to, thatâs okay. There are so many things to be worried about. Weâre all tired. But maybe donât go off about how much kids these days suck.
"skibidi toilet is ruining gen alpha" do none of you people remember asdf. i remember asdf.
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BURN AFTER READING. đđŹ
i have never made a post with this title before, but i have shared some cpn/speculation that deserve to be burned after reading. lol. this term is often used by cpfs for a candy or info related to the boys that may be âdangerousâ â so you have to get rid of it after reading. but for my version of it, letâs describe it as something that is a level up from galaxy brain cpn. itâs the kind of cpn you will think twice or thrice before making up your mind about. đ«
we have (2) topics here and just a disclaimer that i am not confirming anything here. this content is for cpf only. donât take it seriously!
(1) Who is An Huibo ćźæ
§ć?
fans noticed that there was a âstand inâ credited for the we and life of us music videos and that is this person. think of it as a body double. it makes sense cause aside from that scene in WE, there are times that xzâs figure is against a backdrop so maybe they needed someone to do that. the clowning began when people were thinking about, what if the other xz in WE mv is actually WYB âŹïžâŹïžâŹïž
i can think of a couple of different reasons why this could be false but the strongest explanation for me is that xz will not allow wyb to so something like this. he is very superstitious. even if this is just acting, he will not allow them to act out a scene of betrayal. that for me is enough to shut this all down. but on the flipside, maybe wyb wanted him (xz) to play his first villain role opposite him in this music video.
now we have the reasons why fans think this is something worth looking at:
1. XZ and this An Huibo are the only 2 credited actors for both MVs. so it seems kinda special.
2. The director of this is LIN, the same one who directed WYBâs redmi advertisement. There are some CPNs both were made at the same studio. Which makes sense cause LIN has his own shooting studio. There is another separate CPN about this but the gist is we think this director is familiar with both of them. So XZ may be comfortable enough to bring WYB along and even include him in the video.
3. It may not be WYB himself, but he used that name to troll us. Itâs so close, Huibo. Yibo.
4. I saw this explanation as well:
If "Anhuibo" is read according to the French transliteration as An Huibo, it would approximately read:
[ĂŁ Ńi bÉ]
·ã: similar to "ang";
·qi: similar to "wei" in Chinese, but lighter and soft;
·bo: similar to "wave", slightly shorter.
5. As a CPF, itâs so easy for our alarm bells to ring if you read that name. An alias of sorts for Bobo. some are saying he used this kind of jumbled name to combat the bad aura of their scene together. Since he is superstitious, this removes yiboâs name and identity as the stand in who stabbed XZâs character. if that makes sense.
maybe we will know more when they release the behind the scenes video. that is if they show who this stand in is. letâs add this to the bjyx clowning vault in the meantime.
(2) XZ look-alike in the recent GRA
i was talking to @rainbowsky about this and my initial reaction was, cpn aside, iâm surprised at how people notice these things! which i actually should be used to considering turtleâs attention to detail, but still!
so here is the âevidenceâ
đđđđ
like all other turtles, iâm someone who has stared at tons of photos of XZ. so i can totally understand why people would look twice at this person. i get i. i was staring at this photo for so long as well. however most of the cpfs comment on this is against this candy and they have valid reasons:
1. Why would he attend and be in the audience? XZ is someone lowkey so if he was there to accompany WYB, he will be backstage. Yes he is brave, but not like this â which seems almost careless.
2. There are names on the chair, so itâs not like anyone can just sit there casually.
3. Even if you believe in the probability, CPFs donât wanna talk much about it cause it can be anti material. Saying XZ has to hide and canât show his face in GRA. or why is he even there incognito when he doesnât even have a project nominated. You all know how it goes, antis can twist the narrative. Plus we donât want to accidentally expose them if this was true. We should not observe too much and post about it cause it will make it harder for them to do something similar in the future.
4. How did this person go unnoticed? Everyone had to get inside the security and there are cameras everywhere. He should have removed his cap and mask which â itâs impossible for someone to not notice XZ ( or is it? ). another thing is maybe he went to a diff entrance??
5. Some are washing it and saying itâs Yiboâs MUA.
Please take that last point i mentioned and carry it over to the reason why this look alike is sus. People are able to confirm that this is not WYBâs MUA because he was wearing a different cap. Even the hair and daresay the ears are not the same. and why would a MUA even be there? If WYB needs touch ups then they should do it backstage. If for some reason it has to be while the broadcast and recording was not on or was on a break, he should not sit there and act like a guest.
Yiboâs MUA, Wang Yiduo has been with him for years. He has years of experience being around celebrities and attending these events before WYB. So he knows the decorum. He will not sit there and act like a guest just because he feels like it.
Iâm curious too, who is this person who can walk inâ in an event filled with people that are dressed up and then come in with a mask and casual clothes. To be allowed to sit there. Who is special enough? Probably a celebrity? and thatâs why some think it could be XZ. Even the staff and assistants during the event are dressed up which made this person stand out. As for the CPN explanation, itâs nice to think that XZ is so proud of Yiboâs nomination that he has to be there. He will find a way to be in the audience and witness this special moment. đ
I think this can easily be analyzed more if we have the video but i donât have time to rewatch the whole GRA and wait for this cut. Cause i wanna know if itâs even there, thatâs how much we question things here! đ€Ł Itâs so sus to me that we only have the screenshots and no video when CPFs are notorious for having concrete evidence. personally, it reminds me of the SDC3 incident but this one is still pretty outrageous considering it is a public event.
take what you want with this information. and as always, when it comes to BJYX: âŹïžâŹïžâŹïžâŹïž
sources: one/ two
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Comes up to the front of the room with pitch notecards in hand, okay, I have an idea that has two very controversial things in it. And idk if people want this, but I keep thinking about it, so here goes nothing.
So, I was thinking, post-breakup, Tommy and Buck bubble each other not talking. Tommy has spiraled inwardly. Buck is using up all the flour in Los Angeles.
It's a problem.
On a call one of them gets on shift, there is a big pileup. A huge pileup.
And in the pileup?
Connor, Kameron, and their son.
The one Buck helped them have with his donor sperm. All of them have significant injuries. Maybe either Connor or Kameron are already dead. They're rushed to the hospital. The only one who survives - the kid.
Buck, who is the biological father of the kid and never technically waved his rights, decides he should take the kid in. He doesn't know if there's anyone there for the kid other than him. There hadn't seemed to be when he was helping Connor and Kameron out. He kind of impulsively rushes into it.
However, there seems to be a wrinkle. Connor and Kameron had a will. Their will states that if they were to die, it designates the child's guardian to be Kameron's older brother. And who would that be?
Tommy Kinard.
And what at first looks like it could possibly become a messy custody battle ends up settling in a co-parenting situation where the kid spends time with both of them.
And as they keep co-parenting, well, maybe something happens to Buck's loft. A pipe bursts, something.
So, Buck decides to stay at Tommy's place as the pipe gets fixed. And maybe, well, Buck never leaves. It's kind of nice to be all under the same roof, after all.
And maybe they start to actually talk about why they broke up. Why Tommy was scared. Why Buck rushed into the idea of potential marriage down the line and moving in without saying I love you first. Talk about all the baking and talk about the bubbling.
They're reluctant at first to try to make up; try to date. Because what if it doesn't work out again? And where would that leave the kid?
While they figure themselves out, another devastating thing hits them. The kid? He is predisposed to cancer, and he gets juvenile leukemia.
And you're probably thinking it's going to be Buck. Buck's going to be the donor again. And he's also going to have to go through what his parents had all those years ago.
But.
He's not a match.
Buck is not a match.
But Tommy is.
And it's this whole vortex of unpacking childhood trauma while coming together for this kid that's just really become part of their lives. And it works out because I can't bring myself to not let it work out, but it's a lot.
And by the end of it, after the kid is in remission, after everything, they admit it. They admit they want this. They want to be together. They want to be a couple. They want to be a family with this kid.
And it's beautiful.
#911 abc#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy fic#post breakup#kid fic#hurt comfort#getting back together#tw: cancer#behind the scenes#my process#idk i just think this would be so interesting to try to write
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Given we have finally gotten news regarding the anime what do you think about it being an adaptation of the manga?
I have some mixed opinions since we'll be seeing the same story for the 4th time at this point (game/manga/novel/anime) but there does appear to be some differences with each especially with each unique Yuu. I do think the OBs and fight choreography is best animated over a slice of life show.
I'm not expecting any major changes from the manga if any at all but I'm happy to see it animated at all. I do hope it is successful so that the other books get animated. I feel like we are in a purgatory of early TWST with how often we go back to the earlier books in different mediums.
[Referencing this news!]
Gonna be honest with you, Iâm kinda numb to getting yet another adaptation of the main story (a story that, mind you, we've already heard ad nauseum). At this point, it really does feel like a never-ending purgatory or time loop where we are forced to relive Heartslabyul over and over and over đ
Of course, I'm still looking forward to seeing the anime and watching some of the more complicated scenes play out (fights, flashback sequences, playing magift/spelldrive, etc.). However, I think I would have preferred something new...? For example, vignettes, the event stories, etc.
The anime being an adaptation of the manga is... fine? But that means the anime may also have the same issues that I have with the manga. Those would be:
We will never really be able to fully bond with or know Yuu on a deeper level since Yuu is constantly changing between books/seasons. We won't get to see how the Yuu of Heartslabyul interacts with characters in later books, we won't get to see how the Yuu of Octavinelle handled the Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw conflicts, etc. We won't see any of them grow or change as a result of interacting with the NRC cast. This sucks particularly because if you really love a particular Yuu, you know they wonât be sticking around.
Despite the Yuus being designed as foils for the OB boys of each respective arc, no special meaningful interactions come out of it. The reader/viewer is just left to draw the parallels but there is never a moment where Yuu and the OB boy reconcile about their similarities/differences, which would actually justify the frequent changing of the POV character.
Barely any alterations are made from the game's story, since the manga isn't allowed to deviate in significant ways. No matter how different the Yuu is, they cannot ever make a decision or even have dialogue that would actually change the story in interesting ways.
General time constraints (manga arcs are 20 chapters, seasons have a limited number of episodes).
Limited showing/screen time of some characters. Because the adaptation will be of the main story, some characters that make very bad first impressions (hi, book 2 Leona⊠hi, Sebek without the vignettesâŠ) will maintain those bad first impressions and wonât have a chance to redeem themselves simply because the bonus content (vignettes, event stories, etc.) arenât adapted. Other characters wonât get as much focus simply because they arenât the OB boys. The former would mainly be a concern for anime/manga-only fans.
Most of my disappointment comes not from reliving the same story, but that we are reliving the same story with minimal changes. I would enjoy adaptations more if they actually played around with the source material and explored new avenues! It feels like a missed opportunity, you know??
As I said earlier in this post, this is NOT meant to be overly negative; this is healthy skepticism. I'd describe myself as still excited, but not as excited as I would be if the anime were about something else set in the Twst world. Hope that makes sense đ
I would also caution readers to take my concerns with a grain of salt; for all we know, maybe the anime will add new scenes or fix some of the issues I pointed out. We should wait until the anime is out to judge its content and quality for ourselves.
On a positive note though đ€Ą M-Maybe we will see. Shirtless L*ona animated⊠because⊠yâknow⊠Episode of Savanaclaw technically canonized it⊠HAHAHAh JK⊠unlessâŠ? đ„ș đđ
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst manga#twisted wonderland manga#Leona Kingscholar#Sebek Zigvolt#NOT L*ONA ROT#notes from the writing raven#question#twst anime#twisted wonderland anime#Yuu
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What shits me is the way my phone number is being linked even if I don't provide it, because that's how google/android works, and I have to fight their system if I don't want my files to be uploaded to computers in foreign lands. The iphone leaks should have been a warning. Celebs suddenly found their nudes being leaked on the black market. How? Because iphone copies your stuff onto what is called THE CLOWWWWWD, which is a obfuscation for their servers. They have copies of whatever they can grab, and they do it without asking, and if you block it, they can switch it on remotely, and you end up pouring over hacks that they are trying to stop through legislation, hacks to stop them arse raping your life. We are slipping into the dystopia of shit, the gradual tofu dreggery of everything. The only hope at the moment is maybe some tech savvy radicals will get a voice in the political arena and speak up about it. I do laugh when I read that the EU actually has some good privacy laws, because otherwise they seem to be far closer to a police state. My phone has an ai. I turn it off. The mandatory 'patch' turns it back on. My phone sends my voice to their ai to be analysed. I turn that off. The mandatory 'patch' turns it back on. I say no. They say ok, we'll do it later. You can keep trying to say no, but one slip of the finger and we take that as a yes, and we harvest your data and sell it off. One of the reasons old people are attacked by scammers is because they can get extensive profiles on likely victims. All this data harvesting is deliberate and harmful, and the companies know it will be used to harm the most vulnerable people in the world, but they don't care. That old lady being swindled out of her life savings because a call centre in India bought gigs of data about her to make up convincing lies, she's not responsible, the companies that harvest us and then sell that are, just as surely as if the post office was making wax prints of our locks and selling them to thugs at the pub. When all of this started, I wanted to avoid a mobile phone because I hated having to be tracked all the time by the government, and yet if I needed help, the government suddenly has no idea where I am. All this stuff is not to benefit us, it's about benefitting a few malicious elites take control over us.
And the most galling thing? Every time they kick, every time they smash a tooth out of our faces, they repeat:
WE ARE HERE TO HELP. STOP STRUGGLING. YOU ARE MAKING IT WORSE.
I don't know I'm not done talking about it. It's insane that I can't just uninstall Edge or Copilot. That websites require my phone number to sign up. That people share their contacts to find their friends on social media.
I wouldn't use an adblocker if ads were just banners on the side funding a website I enjoy using and want to support. Ads pop up invasively and fill my whole screen, I misclick and get warped away to another page just for trying to read an article or get a recipe.
Every app shouldn't be like every other app. Instagram didn't need reels and a shop. TikTok doesn't need a store. Instagram doesn't need to be connected to Facebook. I don't want my apps to do everything, I want a hub for a specific thing, and I'll go to that place accordingly.
I love discord, but so much information gets lost to it. I don't want to join to view things. I want to lurk on forums. I want to be a user who can log in and join a conversation by replying to a thread, even if that conversation was two days ago. I know discord has threads, it's not the same. I don't want to have to verify my account with a phone number. I understand safety and digital concerns, but I'm concerned about information like that with leaks everywhere, even with password managers.
I shouldn't have to pay subscriptions to use services and get locked out of old versions. My old disk copy of photoshop should work. I should want to upgrade eventually because I like photoshop and supporting the business. Adobe is a whole other can of worms here.
Streaming is so splintered across everything. Shows release so fast. Things don't get physical releases. I can't stream a movie I own digitally to friends because the share-screen blocks it, even though I own two digital copies, even though I own a physical copy.
I have an iPod, and I had to install a third party OS to easily put my music on it without having to tangle with iTunes. Spotify bricked hardware I purchased because they were unwillingly to upkeep it. They don't pay their artists. iTunes isn't even iTunes anymore and Apple struggles to upkeep it.
My TV shows me ads on the home screen. My dad lost access to eBook he purchased because they were digital and got revoked by the company distributing them. Hitman 1-3 only runs online most of the time. Flash died and is staying alive because people love it and made efforts to keep it up.
I have to click "not now" and can't click "no". I don't just get emails, they want to text me to purchase things online too. My windows start search bar searches online, not just my computer. Everything is blindly called an app now. Everything wants me to upload to the cloud. These are good tools! But why am I forced to use them! Why am I not allowed to own or control them?
No more!!!!! I love my iPod with so much storage and FLAC files. I love having all my fics on my harddrive. I love having USBs and backups. I love running scripts to gut suck stuff out of my Windows computer I don't want that spies on me. I love having forums. I love sending letters. I love neocities and webpages and webrings. I will not be scanning QR codes. Please hand me a physical menu. If I didn't need a smartphone for work I'd get a "dumb" phone so fast. I want things to have buttons. I want to use a mouse. I want replaceable batteries. I want the right to repair. I grew up online and I won't forget how it was!
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.. that idea on ghost coming back with his therapistâs contact is brilliant, could we get a pt2 when we do hit him up cuz,,, itâs inevitable and he pulls up in that same motorbike and actually plans a banger date?
Just for you! A part 2! Original post for anyone curious is here.
Also thank you for what I am percieving as patience, I had things to accomplish today. But it gave me time to think about this...
CW: I can't think of any.
You held onto the business card. No real explanation that would satisfy you or anyone who might have asked. And your best friend did ask. Repeatedly.
âYou still have the card?â She asked over drinks.
Running your tongue along the inside of your teeth you debate on how to answer.
âYes,â you reply curtly.
âAnd have you called the therapist or texted him yet? Do you even know his name?â She followed her questions with a sip of her drink.
âAll I know is that when I search up S. Riley I get a few hits about a brother to a home invasion that ended badly a few years ago and nothing else. No one on social media matches him and without his full name or maybe a birthday I canât find much else about someone that might be him.â Flopping back into the couch you watch your drink slide side to side as you tip your glass.
âYou donât have to call him but you have to make a decision about this soon,â she chides.
âNo decision is a decision though.â
She gives you the flattest stare she can muster. Seeing as your best friend is autistic itâs a pretty impressive flat look.
Heaving a sigh you concede the point.
âFine. I get it. I canât avoid this forever, what if he finds me at a coffee shop again and asks why I havenât called? S. Riley sure does seem like a man who doesnât know how to leave well enough alone.â
âI think you should call and tell the therapist to inform him that you would like to never see him again, but you have this whole âattracted to the adventureâ thing going on.â She rolled her eyes.
Aghast at being so well identified, it does not matter that she is your best friend, you fire off a rude gesture at her. She only laughs.
âAt least I never have to worry about not realizing I fumbled the woman of my dreams three months late,â you say with a wicked grin.
âIt was one time!â Your best friend launches one of the couch pillows at you.
âTwice.â
The purest look of concern crosses her face.
âTwice?â Comes her panicked ask.
âOnce at the bar,â she nods, âAnd then last week at the bookstore.â
Watching her eyes go wide and her mouth drops open you canât help the full-body laugh that overtakes you.
âI thought she was just being nice!â Her voice gets squeakier with each word.
You are laughing so hard you canât breathe.
âI fucking love you and am so glad we are best friends,â you manage to croak out between ab-shredding laughs.
đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ
Your next early day off of work you pop in your headphones and call the number printed on the business card. It sat between your insurance card and your driverâs license. Those two cards didnât see much action and would keep the business card from disappearing.
âThank you for calling Healing Sky Therapy, how can I help you?â
âYes, is Anna Mortz available?â
âFor a phone call or an appointment?â The sound of clicking keys bubbles over the line.
âA phone call, I am calling to speak to her about a current patient of hers.â
âOkay, and are you a provider?â
This causes you to pause. Did you really need to explain why or how you were connected to this crazy situation? No. Bare bones it is.
âNo, I should be listed as a person who can discuss the care of a patient of hers who goes by S. Riley?â
âOkay,â she drags the word. âIt looks like I can drop a call in her schedule in about forty minutes if that would work for you?â
âThat would work great, can I give you a callback number?â
âYes, I can take that when you are ready.â
Finishing up the phone call you grabbed your grocery list and headed out the door. Your phone rang as you were transferring bags from your cart to your trunk. The number looked vaguely familiar and so you answered.
âHi this is Anna Mortz, I am returning a phone call.â
âYes, hi Anna. I am the one who called.â
âThat was in regards to Simon Riley, right? Letâs go through some information on my end to make sure that we can discuss him first okay?â
âAbsolutely,â you slam the trunk closed and return your cart while confirming all of your information.
âSo, what questions can I answer for you?â Anna started.
âLet me get settled and I will give you the rundown.â Tossing your purse to the passenger side and locking the door you get situated in your seat. You push a large breath from your lungs and start. âOkay, so this is a weird situation. The long and the short of it is that Simon had been dating a friend of mine several years back and they were not good together. He was being a pushy asshole who refused to let the relationship die and she was codependent to a deeply unhealthy level. My friend asked for help in telling him off once and for all. She tended to cave and give into having sex every time he came by to start a fight. That is where I met Simon.â
Anna made a noise of confirmation. You took it as permission to keep telling your story.
âNothing more came of that except my friend and I drifted apart, nothing major and not important to the story. I ran into Simon next at my friendâs wedding reception. I donât know if he showed up to confirm to himself that it was really over or if she actually invited him but,â you paused here eyes tracing the dash of the car parked in front of you. With a slight shake of your head, you focus back on your phone call. âThat is neither here nor there. He hit on me that night and I told him basically to fuck off and go to therapy if he wanted a shot at that conversation.â
Puffing your cheeks with air you slowly let it out, you felt like you were explaining a whole crazy situation to the principal.
âHe ran into me at a coffee shop close to probably a year later, dropped your card on the table with his number on the back, and insinuated that I would call because I was interested in him.â
âOkay, that is pretty close to the story he told me as well,â Anna speaks with kind authority. âWhat I can tell you from a clinical standpoint is that Simon struggles with C-PTSD, which is complex post-traumatic stress disorder. This basically means that Simon has been through so many traumatic events at so many points in his life that he has a hard time functioning day to day without it affecting every aspect of his life. I can also tell you that we have been working on him gaining some coping abilities and practicing social skills.â
âOkay, I guess what I am asking is that if I go on a date with him will I end up with a stalker who will end up killing me in the night if I say I donât want to see him again?â You lay your concerns bare. Sheâs not your therapist so her judgment worries you a bit less.
âWhile nothing is guaranteed,â she hedges, âI cannot see that kind of behavior occurring with the progress Simon has made. He has scheduled out appointments weekly for the next three months with me and has even mentioned he is working on some other types of therapy I have recommended to help him process his traumas further. Heâs actually doing the work to deal with his issues. I think he is here because he wants to be, you happened to be the trigger.â
Resting your elbow on the steering wheel you leaned your head into your hand.
âWhew, okay. Thank you. That is actually really helpful. How is he about accepting boundaries?â
âHe is familiar and comfortable with them in a work context but if you choose to interact with him I know personal boundaries will come up in our sessions. So, I would keep it in mind when interacting with him.â
âOkay, thank you so much Anna this call has been,â a slight pause, âEnlightening. I appreciate your time.â
âHappy to help. Have a good day!â
With that the phone call ends and you stare down at your phone. Flicking open your messaging app you add the contact you saved to it almost a month ago.
<Your therapist seems nice.
Three minutes pass as you watch the screen. It goes black once and you wake it with a tap on the screen.
Tossing it to the passenger side on top of your purse you put the text from your mind. You instead focus on pulling out of your spot. Parking lots are of the devil and you arenât even religious like that.
Five days pass before a message dings on your phone from one S. Riley.
>Canât say she is nice to me. I get a lot of mean looks from her.
Setting a timer for an hour and thirteen minutes you let the text simmer. You hope he can see that you have opened the message.
<You normally take a work week to respond?
>Only when I am on a job.
The reply comes in instantly.
<What kind of jobs keep you from your phone?
>Classified.
<Ooh big brain work then. Got it.
You snort at the eye roll emoji he sends.
>So, have you decided if I can hit you up yet?
<Iâm thinking about it. If I were to say yes, where would you take me?
>Indoor sky diving.
You read the three-word message at least six times, check out the closest indoor sky diving place near you, and then finally reply.
Starting and erasing three messages you finally settle on one.
<Would we ride your bike there?
>Unless you would prefer to talk on the drive over?
What do you talk about with a man when you had to check with his therapist that he wouldnât murder you?
<Bike sounds like fun.
>Saturday?
<Maybe. Time?
>2
<Done. Pick me up at noon and we can grab lunch?
>No, youâre going to want an empty stomach. Dinner instead.
Narrowing your eyes at the message you debate the logic of testing a boundary yet. The advice to not have a full stomach did look like a good one.
<Fine, but nowhere fancy. If I canât roll up in the same outfit I donât want it.
The only reply you get for several hours is a thumbs up on your message.
Guess you had a date coming up.
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Remember this post? Anyway I finished binging Miss Fisher again again.
â
Steve had thought that heâd touch base with the event planner once they got Tonyâs reluctant permission to run their counter-operation. Instead, he got called into the conference room with Peggy and Natasha, where they sat in various levels of impatience and confusion for twenty minutes before Coulson opened the door and dipped himself into a slight bow. âThis way, Mr. Stark.â
âYouâre cute when you have to treat me with respect,â Tony purred, tipping his head to give Coulson a wink. âMight have to snatch you from that cellist in Portland.â
Coulson looked simultaneously exhausted and amused. âIf you meant that, Iâd run screaming for the hills.â
âRude!â Tony scoffed, but he didnât look put out. He turned his attention to the conference room, mouth spreading into a wide, bright smile. âOh! You actually came.â
âYou were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago, Tony,â Peggy said sharply.
Tony shrugged, not looking scared at all as he strutted further into the room and slammed the thick binder he was carrying on the table. Steve stared at it, for some reason feeling daunted. It hadnât been slammed because Tony was angry. It had been slammed because it was heavy. He feared his next few nights would be spent cramming whatever information Tony had brought into his memory.
âYouâre not the boss of me,â Tony answered when Peggy began tapping her heel impatiently. His welcoming smile was gone, replaced with an unimpressed, flat line. âAnd letâs be clear, here, Ms. Carter: If you expect to be able to attend my charity gala, you have to play ball with me.â
âTony,â Peggy began, though Steve couldnât tell if she was angry about the threat or being called âMs. Carter.â
âI think you misunderstand how much power you have here,â Tony cut in, brows furrowing down into a scowl. âItâs my motherâs gala, and Iâm in charge. I could have any SHIELD agent you send barred from entering. There is nothing you can do to force your way in. I have been coordinating this gala for seven months, four under my motherâs careful eye, and I think I should be clear about this, too: My mother is angry at you, too.â
Peggy gaped at him for a moment, and only after he opened his thick binder and began looking through papers did she manage to bark out, âWHY?!â
Tony slanted a glance up at her, then looked back down at his papers. âDo you think I invited you to anything of importance without my motherâs permission? You didnât even send your regrets for missing my coming out party.â He looked back up at her, cheek twitching against the urge to smile. âShe could forgive all the other invitations, they were informal, but to not even RSVP to her only sonâs coming out party was a step too far.â
âI canât stand it,â Peggy hissed, but she did look slightly regretful.
Tony shrugged, unperturbed. âMaybe youâre lucky itâs me. I think Mom would have taken your head clean off your shoulders if she saw you in her house. Here it is!â He smiled smugly and pulled a paper from a plastic sleeve, slapping it onto the table between all of them. âYouâll need this when you go get your clothes.â
âSHIELD has perfectly adequate facilities for making sure our agents fit in undercover,â Peggy began.
Tony rolled his eyes, hard. âOh my god, Aunt Peggy, you cannot show up to a gala in government-salary clothes when the going rate is ten thousand dollars a plate.â
Against his will, Steve let out a sound as if heâd been punched in the stomach. He felt like he had. He was well aware of the fact that inflation was a thing. Heâd been about knocked on his ass when heâd finally been allowed to go grocery shopping and found a carton of milk was almost four dollars. He knew he had a knee-jerk reaction based on his forties sensibilities, but ten thousand dollars still seemed like an awful fucking lot. He glanced at Peggy and Natasha. Natasha didnât look shocked, but Peggyâs face twitched minutely before relaxing back into an impassive mask. She might have known it would cost, but not that much.
âThatâs part of the reason Iâm late,â Tony continued, mercifully only sparing him a slightly-disgusted look before he turned his attention back to flipping through his binder. âThis close to the gala, all of the tailors you can afford are packed. But I have a friend willing to fit you in as a favor to me. She can make your agents look bespoke while still leaving room for your weapons. She thinks it will be a fun challenge.â He made a face at one of the papers, then flipped the page with a snap that seemed offended, somehow. âUnfortunately, because you left your request so late, sheâs only able to fit in two suits and one dress. She could perhaps squeeze in a third suit, but you didnât hear that from me. Just make sure to flatter her a lot and sheâll probably do it.â
âMr. Stark,â Natasha finally said.
Tony paused, slanting his gaze in her direction. When she didnât continue, he added, âYesss?â
âWhen you said youâd have any SHIELD agent barred, how could you be so sure?â she asked after a small pause.
Tony blinked at her, confused, before answering, âOh, I hacked into SHIELD years ago.â
Peggy immediately swiveled her gaze toward him, aghast. The shock quickly gave way to anger, though, and she began, âAnthony Edward Starkââ
Tony scowled back. âI fixed the holes in your security once I was in, I donât see what the problem is. Maybe if you came to one of my dissertations, you would have known it was in cyber security.â
Peggy stared at him, apparently too shocked and appalled to even speak.
Steve cleared his throat awkwardly. âCyber security? Thatâs⊠neat. Iâm sure thatâs why Stark Industriesâ firewall is so. Robust?â
Tony turned to blink at him, ire giving way to confusion. âDid you just call a firewall robust?â
âIâm not a tech guy,â Steve grumbled immediately.
âAnyway yes. It is,â Tony said, dismissing him as quickly as heâd paid attention to him. âDonât send Roger. The debutantes will eat him alive.â
Steve wondered if leaving people speechless and whiplashed was an omega thing or just something entirely unique to the Stark family. He was offended, but he also never would have imagined what to say.
Natashaâs lips spread into a smug grin. âOh, but Mr. Stark. Surely youâre still looking for a date.â
Tony turned his attention to her, finally looking at least slightly wrong-footed and somewhat offended. âWhy would you assume that about me?â
âYouâve been working tirelessly for seven months to set up this gala to make your mother proud,â she continued, ignoring his question expertly. âYou havenât had time to do the requisite song and dance expected from people of your⊠tax bracket.â She glanced at Steve, looking like the cat who got the cream, and he felt a terror fill him that he couldnât quite understand. âBut if you arrive with Roger, itâll explain why you havenât looked for a date. Youâre unmarried, Mr. Stark. Surely by showing up stag to the event you planned, unmated alphas will be champing at the bit to be able to be your dance partner for the night. You wouldnât be able to do any investigative work because youâd be getting your toes stomped on the dance floor the entire night. And Roger might insult one of your wealthy omega friends accidentally. Heâs not good at flirting on a good day, and with high society omegas, heâd absolutely tank the donations you would receive, because how could you let such a buffoon into your event?â
âBuffoon,â Steve repeated, offended, but she just shrugged in a âbut am I wrong?â kind of way.
Tony was slowly beginning to lose his cool, Steve noticed when he turned to tell him he wasnât actually hopeless at glad-handing and his âaw shucksâ vibe actually seemed to delight most omegas. His knuckles had gone white with how tightly heâd gripped them into fists, and his cheeks had flushed the tiniest shade of pink. He couldnât keep a smug or even blasĂ© look on his face, and reluctantly, he turned his gaze on Steve. Finally, he ground out, âIf Jan says itâs okay,â then slammed the binder shut and shoved it across the table to Peggy. âMake your agents study that like itâs the bible,â he added sharply. âIf even one complaint gets to me about how theyâve insulted someone, Iâll tank your entire system, including backups.â
âTony,â Peggy tried, but he was already up out of his seat and storming out the door. Even Coulson looked startled when the door banged off of the wall with the force of him opening it.
Steve got the sinking feeling that Tony really didnât like to lose and he was going to make them pay dearly for being right about his dates.
âHoward and Maria are going to be so furious when they see your pictures in the paper, Steve,â Peggy said, anger giving way to despair, and Steve had no idea why she was so worried about that when she should be worried about Tony stabbing him at the gala.
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Hey echo!! Iâve been following you for a while on my old tumblr account and even bought your book and toolkit which has been a game changer! Was wondering if you have some tips on looksmaxxing for black women- I do agree that looking the prettiest does get you far in life. Also where can I preorder your book? Thank you for the advice you post- I love how you keep it real! I used to be one of the girls that believed in manifestation, affirmations and subs, but you brought me back to reality!
Looksmaxxing Tips
Source: Iâm from Miami and currently live in LA.
Disclaimer: I already know Iâll get cancelled for this but this is for the girls who get it.
Hey! Aw you donât have to be anon đ€ thank you so much for your support!! Like truly that was very nice and Iâm happy youâre still around after my hiatus. First things first, this post is going to get me in trouble but⊠Iâll do it lol. Remember that time I was cancelled for saying we should be shaving our underarms?
YOUR BODY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FACE
You know itâs true. You know when you look like you take care of yourself, people treat you better. Yes, you NEED to make sure youâre at a healthy weight. Your face can be absolutely busted, but if you have a nice body, you get a pass. Iâm half Hispanic, and my background and your background tends to get on the heavier side pretty quickly. There is so many scientific research about how we develop Type 2 Diabetes quicker and weâre globally at a higher weight. So this is the part when Iâm gonna get cancelled: you have to be fit. You have to be in shape. You have to have muscle. You have to be tight and toned.
âââ- WORKOUTS I RECOMMEND
1. Pilates $$-$$$
2. Barre $$-$$$
3. Running/Sprinting/Walking/Stairmaster $-$$
4. Kickboxing $-$$
5. Solid Core, Barryâs, SoulCycle, Pelaton, etc. $$-$$$
6. Growing Anna Nas (YouTube. For some reason I canât link YouTube links) $0
7. Pamela Rief (YouTube) $0
8. MadFit (Youtube) $0
âââ MY DIET TIPS
1. I eat whatever I want, but I eat so in moderation. Itâs so important that you donât deprive yourself because this should be a lifestyle. I get lunch portions, kids meals, the smallest size of unhealthy foods (like I would get a small fry for example), etc. Ben & Jerryâs has the really tiny ice cream cups that Iâll get if I want something sweet. But food known to cause weight gain, Iâll still eat them but I wonât have normal portions of it because normal portions of those kinds of foods are literally 1,000+ calories.
2. Iâm against drinking my calories unless itâs a meal replacement (like a smoothie)
3. I practice intermittent fasting. Iâve done 18:6, 16:8, 20:4, and 23:1. They are all great. I think itâs healthy to give your body a rest from eating throughout the day to allow it to digest. I eat from 12pm-6pm some days, but some days if Iâm going out to dinner, I push it back to maybe 4pm-10pm. So many benefits to this, do your research.
4. I donât eat carbs for dinner. Carbs are essential for energy. Why do I need energy at night? Protein, healthy fats, and veggies is what I stick to. I limit carbs to my smoothie and lunch. But my main dish is never a carb; I like fat and protein as my main dish with a SIDE of carbs like rice or a side pasta dish.
I donât recommend Ozempic or other alternatives! Youâll get the Ariana Grande sunken in face and look absolutely insane. Thatâs the side effect that scares me the most, and it usually happens later on after being on Ozempic for it to take affect. I want to keep my face plump.
DONâT TOUCH YOUR FACE SURGICALLY
Iâm always a fan of a good rhinoplasty, but make sure you come to LA for one. NYC has really good doctors too. Never, EVER get your surgeries done in Miami. Business is so shady in Miami that I donât trust it. Iâm not telling you to get a nose jobâ Iâm saying thatâs the only procedure Iâm actually for and not against.
I used to get Botox and I stopped. The problem with Botox is that is prevents muscle movement, which will develop muscle atrophy. Meaning, your face muscles will lose shape and strength sooner than normal, and your face will start to sag. My credentials is that I have a nursing degree and I dated a plastic surgeon over the last year.
Iâm sure you donât need lip filler, but a little (like half a syringe) to make your lips go out further is a GAME CHANGER. Just make sure you dissolve filler each time you decide you want a touch-up.
Another trend is buccal fat removalâ I donât know WHY people are wanting the snatched face because it makes you look so horse-like and old. Iâm only talking to those who donât naturally have a snatched face. Thereâs a difference between looking puffy, and having face fat. Face fat is good, it keeps you looking youthful! So donât get that done.
Stay away from all other fillers.
COME TO LA FOR BODY PLASTIC SURGERY
Iâm the biggest advocate for breast augmentations. I got my boobs done because I wanted them to look more perfect. You just have to make sure you go to a good doctor. Donât be cheap with it. But getting your boobs done just elevates your look but donât get crazy. A perky C cup is fine, even a perfect D cup is fine. Get the boobies up and perky. Push-ups and other chest workouts are good to start doing but theyâre not going to be total game-changers. If you like your boobs, great. But if you want that perfect body inside and outside of clothes, get the girls up. Give them some volume.
If you have extra flab or skin, go for the non surgical procedures!! I got Morpheus8 done on my inner thighs because I had a bit of loose skin from weight loss (it was like 50lb weight loss and I lost it fast) and my thighs are sucked in and cute now). But it depends on what they have but go to a medical spa ran by a plastic surgeon. Donât go to the commercial med spas or anything.
Body Gua-Sha is really good to do as well to help shape you up a little. I do this after every morning shower.
GET A SPRAY TAN
Yes, you should get a spray tan. I know you donât need one, but your skin tone would pop so much more if you got one and they hide so many imperfections on your skin. Everyone looks better tanâ everyone. Itâs giving summer vibes all year round and Iâm here for it. My black friends get spray tans and Iâve seen the difference in real time. Skin just looks so much healthier and younger with a spray tan. But it has to be a spray tan, it has to be a little artificial to look good lol. I know people swear the sun is the best but when I go out in the sun, I turn grey!!!! I turn such a weird color but because I fake tan, I keep my golden color without looking moldy lol. Itâs giving that SpongeBob episode when he had the suds. Try it once and tell me how it goes lol. I swear youâll be obsessed. I actually want you to message me and lmk.
MAKEUP, LASH EXTENSIONS, MICROBLADING
Your lashes should be undetectable. Classic natural set with a wispy and individual mix ONLY. Lashes should only be used for a thicker lash line, NOT for length. If you get strip lashes, make sure theyâre natural and WISPY. The more natural and effortless the better. You also look younger and classier too. Iâm a fan of a natural looking micro blade, but keep your brows natural. Donât fan them out or fluff them, but donât have IG brows. You want to fool people into thinking youâre just naturally like this. Obviously when you go out, do the brows or lashes, but on a normal Wednesday 2pm, itâs not necessary. Makeup should always be glowing. Matte makes you look like a grandma. A subtle glow in the cheeks or nose just gives healthy. Matte gives chalky.
HAIR
Keep it SAFE with hair. Natural color, natural length, healthy hair. How you style it is up to you but make sure it goes with your face shape. Hair thatâs too long can be too much and hair thatâs too short can make you look a little older. I donât know if you wear your natural hair or if you install, but if you install keep it at an appropriate length. Think VS model. If your hair is natural and you wear it out, scratch everything I just said :) but keep colors natural and your hair healthy!
â-
Iâm running out of space to type, but Iâll say this. Your BEST template is a Victoriaâs Secret Angel. Not the new ones lol that show was embarrassing. Iâm talking about the OG VS. Thatâs if you want to be universally stunning. Everyone will turn heads at a VS Angel. You want to give classy, but you also want to give youthful and sexy. Look at paparazzi photos of them being off-duty. Gain style and look inspiration off of them. They got CANCELLED for not being inclusive and it hurt feelings. Now they arenât making nearly as much money before and the brand is tainted because a few insecure women decided to be all emotional. See what happens when you listen to insecure toads?
I didnât want this post to be something you can find on the internet because thereâs so much about this on the internet, but I gave you some opinions based off things I see that I agree/donât agree with.
đ€đžMake sure to check out my book called The Luxe Girlâs Playbook to Life for a fresh perspective on reinventing yourself for 2025. Youâll receive immediate access after purchase.
#q/a#leveling up#that girl#level up#self care#level up journey#personal development#femininity#hypergamy#leveling up journey#looksmaxxing#girl blog#leveling up tips#level up tips#femininity tips#glow up tips#glow up journey#glow up#high value woman#leveled up woman#hypergamous dating#hypergamous lifestyle#hypergamous#dark feminine#dark femininity#feminine journey#femininity journey#that girl aesthetic#dream girl journey#dream girl aesthetic
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(i agree w op and it's a good point; i'm pushing back against a couple things in this second addition/rb & some implications in the op, as well. still not trying to be argumentative, but push the conversation further & challenge certain entrenched ideas. bc again, i agree & am coming from that angle.)
hotter take: the demonization of "ultraprocessed foods" is damaging no matter what. highly recommend this nutritionist for any info abt that. if [general, not op/rb] you won't listen to me, maybe [general] you will listen to a thin and licensed nutritionist.
the intent here is good: don't deprive your child of unifying and delightful social experiences. let them enjoy food. don't give them complexes about food. don't micromanage your child's diet to the point where they resent it, etc.
but also, maybe, just let them enjoy food. and teach/show them how! they are CHILDREN. unless they have allergies, sensitivities, or other serious health concerns, they will be FINE if they eat some candy MOST days of the week for various stretches of time. or ANYTHING sweet. or salty. basically every person in the world (with medical exceptions, exceptions for taste/preference, etc.) would be fine having at least 1 dessert every day. (and also this is only using "health" as a reference, which is a Whole Thing in and of itself)
maybe, also, as is the solution to most things: simply treat children like people who are just learning how things work.
instead of limiting what they eat without their involvement, instead of demonizing food and scaring them away from it or shaming them, or even acting like certain kinds of diets are even accessible to most people, how about we instead:
teach kids abt what we currently know abt how food works. why do they crave sugar and salt? why do these foods taste really good, and these ones don't? can we make them taste better? sometimes tastes change over time, so every few years we can try this food again, if you're up for it. how do you feel after you eat A LOT of food, regardless of what it is? what do you want to eat at different times? how do different foods make you feel? what kinds of tastes do you like? here are traditional and culturally relevant foods, and how/why they're important. how do we MAKE food? what abt food safety?
give them knowledge and choice in what they eat and how they eat it and when.
this is only possible if we education ourselves abt food, as well! which is why education around this is so important. but even the basics: hunger is this, food gives you energy, you need different kinds of energy, you probably should have a wide variety of it, etc.
for example, there is no such thing as junk food, there's just food. nutrition isn't just about calories or vitamins, etc., it's also abt social connection (covered well in this post), cultural connection, and emotional regulation.
it also looks different for everybody. no two people will require the same kinds of food in the same amounts prepared in the same ways. and what we know about nutrition is actually quite limited! not to say what we have is Completely Wrong, but that it's silly to paint with such a broad brush when we keep having to research and revise--and there are so many factors to health and diet that are difficult to account for, and make each person's needs individual. food & movement aren't the only two. and your socioeconomic status & geographic location control what you eat way more than anything else.
"ultraprocessed food" serves so many purposes: it lasts longer, it's typically more reliable and widely available, it's generally more affordable, and it's, crucially, more consistent and predictable, which is a HUGE thing for children (not even speaking of neurodivergent people in general). for ppl who can't afford the money or time of fresh foods, "ultra processed foods" are GREAT. (and they're also great for anyone who loves them)
if you have a problem with them, take it up with the government! we can have "ultra processed foods" that don't hurt people--it's the hormone disruptors and unnecessary food dyes that are the problem. they're outlawed elsewhere. we could follow their lead. preservation of foods isn't inherently bad. (and on the labor side, again, take it up with the govt: all workers deserve to be safe at work, protected, have a more than livable wage, benefits, etc.)
all of this is an overarching pipe dream about how we talk abt, teach abt, and interact with food, particularly as it pertains to raising our kids. but that's the point i'm going for here.
op is completely right, as is the addition; my hackles rise against "more wholesome foods" and "ultra processed foods" and the "let them have it every once in a while". you can go a month eating "junk" food (again, no such thing), and unless you have particular allergies or health concerns, you'll probably be fine.
determinants of health are so much bigger than what we eat and what we physically do.
so when it comes to teaching kids about food, we have to stop categorizing some foods as bad and others as good. it seems to be easier, but oversimplifying things for kids never goes well. if you're gonna simplify, at least be accurate and at least don't give them fucked up complexes abt shit.
tree nuts are WIDELY considered a Good Food. but they hurt me and could possibly even kill me, because i'm allergic.
fresh greens are WIDELY considered a Good Food. but they're raw, uncooked, and staring down the barrel of fewer safety regulations--so not only are they inconsistent in quality and texture (bad for kids & anyone with sensitive tastes), but they're also riskier. and ALSO, i have hEDS, and my body Cannot Digest fresh greens very well. (if accessible, an opportunity to teach kids abt where food comes from and maybe grow your own! but also [stares at heavy metals in most of the US soil] so y'know. ymmv.)
they're no better or worse than an "ultra processed" version of greens. that includes things like salsa, flavored veggie smoothies, premade soups, frozen veggies, etc.
the sum of my response to op & addition is: yes, absolutely. but also, there are no bad or good foods, and nutrition is more complicated than that. as per uszh, the solution is to treat kids like people and give them what knowledge you can, then let them make their own choices.
and the sum of everything else is: basically what i wish more people knew so that they COULD teach their kids that stuff. and also for themselves! and also this doesn't even get into the concept of "health" as a Whole Fucking Thing.
This is a controversial take that everyone will hate but it's one thing to feed your kid better, more wholesome food than twinkies and hot pockets daily, it's another thing to force them to adhere to a crunchy granola beige colored diet where they cant share the snacks their peers are eating or have a normal childhood or have fun. None of you were raised like that and if you were you know what im talking about.
#long post#ranting#not angry at anyone or calling anyone out i agree w almost entirety of the post & addition here#but demonization and categorization of food and the implications around health and weight stigma?#unfortunately get me on my soapbox#i am now stepping off of it#food forts#diet talk#nutrition
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My web serial, Worth the Candle, has been adapted into a webcomic. This was thanks to my agent, who I have a great fondness for, since without him I would have to spend time trying to make connections and call people and do a bunch of work that I don't know how to do and am not good at.
I was offered the chance to write the webcomic, but declined, mostly because writing Worth the Candle had taken four years and was pretty draining, and was a story that I feel like I'm done with, minus some editorial stuff, answering fan questions, and the odd bit of promotion. So my level of involvement is that I get the pages as they come in, make some comments on them, and generally just give feedback which they are free to ignore.
So let's talk about some of the adaptational changes! You can read the first three issues on Webtoon here, or the first eight issues if you're willing to pay, and the books start here, but I'll assume that you haven't read either, and there won't be substantial spoilers because I'm talking about stuff from the very beginning. Actually, I guess there will be some spoilers, but later on, and I'll mark them, mostly having to do with some foreshadowing that the webcomic does which I didn't do.
(I licensed the rights to make the webcomic to WebToon and took my money upfront, they didn't ask me to write this post, I have not actually asked the artist/writer why they made these changes, it's just me guessing and commenting, for fun. Edit: My agent has informed me that I'm mistaken, I do get a cut. So apologies for the misinformation, and hooray for me, I guess I signed the contract ages ago and just forgot the details.)
Character Design
Here's how Juniper Smith is described in the books, ch 2:
I wonât belabor my physical description. My friend Greg had once said that I looked like someone had chosen âdefaultâ for every option in the character creator, which Iâd tried to laugh at but cut kind of deep. I wasnât handsome, I wasnât ugly, none of my features were very prominent, my eyes were blue, my hair was brown, average build, average height ⊠After Greg had made his comment at one of our D&D games, my nickname had been âdefaultâ for a while, at least until I stopped pretending to find it funny, and even after that my friends would use similar lines to trash talk me, saying that I was âthe most generic man aliveâ, âa white bread with skim milk motherfuckerâ, or âthe human equivalent of vanilla ice creamâ. Not that I was any less of an asshole to them.
This is how he looks in the comic:
I would more or less give this full marks.
In terms of other aspects of character design, Juniper is here given a black shirt with a red symbol on it rather than the stock white t-shirt he's wearing in the opening chapters of the first book, probably in the interests of adding in some visual variety. On the page, it's perfectly fine that every person in the first 50k words is wearing basically the same stock outfit. In a visual medium, I do think that you need that pop. I do think it's interesting that Juniper is wearing the same clothes in the classroom as he is on the plane, implying that when he transmigrated his clothes ... came with him? I don't know.
The other major character of the first section is Amaryllis, who is a major character in the entire work. Here's her description in the book:
Standing by a workbench, among various car parts, tools, and cans of unidentified fluids, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.
Iâm not really sure what protocol is here, in terms of prose. I mean, I donât want to sound like a creep, so maybe I should stay as generic as possible and tell you about her dark red hair pulled back in a braid, the glacial blue of her eyes, how starkly alert she looked as she peered over the parts in front of her, or her grease-smeared clothes. Save for her eyes, I wasnât really focused on any of that. My mind was consumed by tracing her curves, the shape of her chest in her blood-stained t-shirt, the fullness of her lips and the delicate way she had them parted -- and yeah, it was pretty fucked up that the splatter of blood on her shirt wasnât worth rating much of a mention. I was consumed with staring at her and thinking how gorgeous she was, until I noticed that she was having a powerful effect on me, at which point different parts of my mind were given over to marveling at the sensation of being so attracted to a girl, and others were still focused on her.
Imagine that someone spent a few years studying your likes and dislikes, running through video of your every private moment, somehow surreptitiously hooking up EKGs to measure your physiological responses without you knowing. Then imagine that they sat down with that data and the best photo manipulation artists in the world and made the absolute perfect picture to cause your heart rate to spike, a jolt to run up your spine, butterflies in your stomach, and a cold sweat on your palms. Then imagine that they did this again, over and over in slight variations, until they had a full 4K 60fps 3D movie to show you. That was what it was like watching her.
And here she is (as she's introduced) in the comic:
Aside from the change in clothes, which in the book are the same white t-shirt and blue jeans that everyone else is wearing, Amaryllis has a scar on her face, of unknown provenance. This was probably added for visual variety, but I do find scars to be very fetching, and in one of the early versions of Worth the Candle she did have one (patterned off a woman with an extremely attractive facial scar I had met, the kind of facial scar that looked like it was applied by a Hollywood makeup artist specifically to give a touch of the exotic and mysterious, except she was a just a Midwestern mom).
And of course Amaryllis was always going to be an adaptational challenge, because the books are told through Juniper's eyes, and she's The Most Beautiful Girl in the World to him, and conventionally attractive to everyone else. Juniper tries to be normal about this. But if you're in the visual medium, you have to show both how Juniper feels and how she actually looks, and attractiveness is just so incredibly personal. My wife and I get in these kinds of discussions a lot, where she'll think someone is good-looking and I'll say "him?" or vice versa.
I think the above panel in particular is a good middle ground, a glamour shot that snaps back to the reality of their first meeting:
(The void gun she's holding there is much different from the one described in the book, not something cobbled together from spare parts and void equipment, but this is another very minor change that I would assume is meant for communicating immediately that this is a lethal weapon, and there's probably not a place for explaining how and from what it was cobbled together, which is also under-explained in the book for reasons of pacing.)
Story
I've read the first nine episodes, and overall, it's hewing very closely. There are a few bits in particular that stand out to me in how they're handled.
Spoilers for later in the series follow, I guess.
These are the opening lines of the webcomic. This is much stronger foreshadowing than I used, and I like it. Part of Juniper's backstory is that he's been deeply depressed and self-destructive, and he's slow to open up about this with other characters or the reader. The "it" that he couldn't go through with is, then, suicide. In the books? This comes very very late. Juniper being depressed after Arthur's death is brought up after the first major arc, halfway through what's now Book 1, and gets more explicit as the books go on, eventually getting to Juniper talking about his attempted suicide with people and grappling with it like ... almost halfway through?
I don't know what the plans for the webcomic are, but my guess is that they're setting up for much, much later on in a way that I didn't. This was always a background element, something that informed Juniper's character, not so much the suicide attempt as the feeling that came after, this understanding that yes, he did want to live, a heady, energizing kind of "I guess I don't have the way out that I thought I did" sort of thing.
So I take it as a good sign that this is the opening line. It points toward them understanding where they're going.
One of the other major adaptational changes is that they signpost Arthur's death with a memorial on his desk:
When I was getting pages, this was one of the first moments where I was like "yes, this is a good change, visual storytelling to replace my walls of text, flows and offers indirect information". I am very happy with the adaptation thus far, and stuff like this is what I love about adaptation in general, the need to grapple with the strengths and weaknesses of the medium.
Content Rating
Worth the Candle gets grim and dark in places. It at least attempts to grapple with serious things. The webcomic is rated Young Adult, and I'm not sure how they're going to handle the later stuff, but I can talk about how they're handling the stuff now, and what I think it means overall.
First, there's a lot less swearing. Worth the Candle in its entirety uses the word "fuck" ~1200 times. Granted, this is over the course of 1.6 million words, so a fuck density of one every 1.3k words, and some of those are in the verb "soulfuck" rather used descriptively, as exclamations, etc. My personal feeling is that this doesn't matter basically at all. I don't think I notice when someone isn't swearing unless they're using corny substitutions or trying to get cute with it.
Second, the violence is toned down in that YA way, where they're still showing much of the same things, just not with the same level of visceral detail. When a Marvel comic has someone thrown into a wall, they're no blood or snapping of bones or mangling of bodies, at least if it's a comic at a certain rating (I have definitely read some edgy 90s comics that do go hard on the violence). I think, overall, that this isn't my preference, which might be obvious from the way that I try to write fight scenes and such. But I'm also sort of inured to this toning down of violence, since it's omnipresent.
Third, there's the sex stuff, and ... well, it hasn't come up in the webcomic yet. I think I laid out my reasoning for why I think sex scenes should be written/included in Why to Write a Sex Scene, but the brief version is that sometimes you're showing how characters relate to each other, what they think of each other, and the sex scene shouldn't always just be something that's skipped over and left to the reader's imagination, because things happen, there are moments of communication, it can and does develop a relationship in the moment rather than after the fact. Plus a little titillation is, in my opinion, usually good.
The great thing about writing webfic is that no one can stop you from just including three solid chapters of hardcore pornography in the middle of your story. I have never done that, but I could is the point, and I would only get complaints from people who have no power over me. That same freedom doesn't exist here, and ... yeah, it makes my heart sink a little bit.
Fourth, there's some of the more mature content stuff, the topics that might not be broached. I don't know how they're handling that, so I reserve judgment, but I think my opinion is probably going to be "well, you do what you have to do", and if my version of the story is superior because there are no brakes, then I can be smugly superior about that.
Conclusion
This is already a fairly long post, and there are a few other things that I could have remarked on, but I think this is all the most interesting stuff.
Alright, just one real quick: Arthur is adaptationally more attractive, though this is also how Juniper sees Arthur and I think by the standards of webcomics, this is actually sort of necessary. Most of the flashback cast is not described until much later on, and by then you kind of know and understand them from the things they've said, if you can keep track of them. Many of the flashbacks are nearly disembodied. But if you're showing Arthur early, then the first impression he's going to make is in his appearance, and that really anchors people.
So overall, I am happy with the adaptation. There are challenges ahead, and I'm thankful that I'm not the one who needs to tackle those challenges.
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Why is Jack public enemy number 1? Sorry I donât go on twitter but I keep seeing it here on tumblr
According to some folks on Tumblr, Jack Hughes didn't smile at them or was rude to them or something at the team signing event last night.
Anon, you're in for a treat, because I will be defending a white man on main. lets go!
I want to first reiterate a few things...
this was a team signing event. not a meet and greet. meaning, Jack Hughes and the other players were there to sign things, any further interaction or anything would have been a plus. I think someone actually shared the rules of the event on twt, posted below. you couldn't even take selfies or pictures with the players. it was literally just a line where you handed over something that you wanted signed and it got signed. of course, there were players that personalized the signatures or let people take selfies and posed with them, but this wasn't actually a part of the experience nor should it have been an expectation.
2. this is not "part" of Jack's job or any hockey players job for that matter. I think people need to realize that although hockey players are celebrities in a certain sense of the word, their interactions with fans are not a necessary part of their job. I'm seeing a bunch of people say that he's being unprofessional and if he can't be good with fans than he shouldn't be a hockey player, and thats, frankly, idiotic. Jack's job is being a hockey player. that is what he gets paid to do. anything on top of that is on top not a part of his job. please understand that a hockey player does not need to have a social media presence to do their job, doesn't ever need to interact with fans to do their job, and actually can play a hockey game without any fans and still get paid!
3. I genuinely don't believe any of the things being said on Tumblr are actually true or if these incidents of him being "rude" did occur I don't believe they're being interpreted the right way or are being relayed in the right context. Rather, I feel like this is just another instance of folks looking for a reason to dislike or even hate Jack. he's a very easy player to dogpile on because of how he plays and how he is portrayed by the media and his fanbase. you don't need a reason to hate the dude, go on and hate him, but please stop making up stories.
anyway...
as far as things I have seen and first person accounts I've been told, Jack was perfectly normal with everyone and especially nice to the kids.
folks are just mad that he didn't rise to whatever lofty expectations people had of Jack during a team signing event where everyone's time with the players was incredibly short and heavily policed. maybe be upset with how it was organized (like why did they have three player tables, it didn't make any sense!).
plus, I have seen several accounts of people hearing folks in line talking shit about Jack while waiting for him, so like what exactly do you expect to happen when he hears you waiting in line for his autograph and being entitled to his time and his generosity and you're chatting shit? like that he's gonna be all sunshine and roses with you? naaaaaaaah.
and finally, we speak so often about respecting the privacy of these players, taking into account their mental health, etc. but then you're gonna turn around and judge someone because they didn't do exactly what you wanted to do when you met them for fifteen seconds? so we're giving grace to players on one end and turning around and blasting other players. make it make sense.
this is essentially the "people pay to watch me play" incident all over again where that quote is taken out of context and then everyone and their mother runs with it because Jack is a very easy target.
#Text#Anonymous#Question#Ask#Jack Hughes#New Jersey Devils#taking a chance and tagging this with Jack#because why not#I already feel like this is not going to be a good decision#anyway no more defending white men#Im done! closing up shop!#and honestly if this weeds out the weirdo fucking fans Jack seems to attract then so be it#it is actually the most annoying thing how misunderstood the Hugheses brothers are by hockey fandom#this gets into my dislike of the fandomification of hockey players#where people expect their favorite players to act like their favorite characters or their favorite celebrities#whats the thing people say#touch some grass#take a hot girl walk (gender neutral)
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the economy in los angeles rn is kinda um.... unprecedented levels of what da hell...
i initially wanted to be a filmmaker, playwright, actor, writer. i was just fascinated by film and theatre and knew that people made a living doing art -- i mean, my dad's a musician, so i personally knew people making a living doing art. but i was particularly drawn to storytelling and performance mediums.
so, i'm going to focus on film here: it's always been difficult to find work in hollywood, but there was still kind of a method of getting work. there are tons of studios and production companies. let's say out of 100 hopefuls, like 60-70 of them could find consistent work in one way or another. a lot of people end up in post production, smaller crew work, whatever, but they're grateful to be working in film in any way that they can while they (usually) nurse their secret dreams of funding and screening their own projects. and let's say like, 10 out of 100 of these people end up making short films for festivals (that are usually bids to make larger features), and 1 out of 100 could make a whole feature (i'm just pulling out random vibe-based statistics, i'm just typing up something quick here and don't want to look up / don't know if it's possible to see stats based on "dreams")
well the thing is, that hollywood is imploding. i know a lot of people who work in production and post-production. you live gig-to-gig. usually it's like, several weeks or maybe months of intense work on a project, then you're done, and floating free in a kind of nerve-wracking way, and then you get another gig, and then you're booked again. very feast or famine.
but lately it's just.... famine??? i keep seeing EXPERIENCED film industry people posting that they're looking for a job, any kind of job, and they have so much skills, but there's nothing.
like what i'm trying to say is... nothing is being greenlit. there are very very few new projects being made, in film or tv. it's going all the way back. some people say it's because of covid and production halting, other people say it's because of strikes, other people say it's all AI, other people say it's because of tiktok and how "anyone can make a video." and it's all of the above, combined with increasing costs of living -- it's not enough to just make a few thousand from a film gig and coast on that for the rest of the year, because your entire MONTHLY RENT is a few thousand dollars.
--
back in february 2020, i made a joke to a group of film production people, gesturing at posters for movies that looked terrible to me -- "god, they just keep making movies, and they all suck. i think what hollywood needs is a sabbatical. like, everyone should just stop making movies. there are already so many movies. we don't need anymore!" and there was a laugh then a sort of awkward silence, and i could sense a monkey paw curling just out of sight. and i quickly added "oh right, but like, there should still be movies of course, ha ha. like, you guys should still have work."
--
i think about this a lot.
like, film as a medium, film as a place in our culture, hollywood as the nexus of storytelling with a budget and many skilled hands.
it feels so present and eternal to me. but it's so new as a medium, and also predicated on so many factors. and a lot of those factors are like a crumbling cliff!
was it ever sustainable?
--
i sometimes envision my life with all these possible paths, and how i somehow picked this one random path (freelance photography), thinking that the other paths would still be open to me. "of course, anyone can do anything at any point in their life! :)" <- ever the sunny optimist.
but as i get older, and the economy gets worse, and the industry continues to implode -- and boy, if you think film is suffering, let's not even get into theatre or publishing -- i'm like wow. actually, all those other paths have gnarled dead trees and tumbleweeds. no matter how much i "dream" about XYZ, we're at a point in history where those things might not be viable anymore.
and then, outside of film as a medium, there's also the empire that we live in, the basis of all this material wealth that has been able to fund big-budget movies. and i love the things that can be done with hundreds of people and expensive cameras. but is that kind of storytelling going to continue to be feasible...?
and i get kinda freaked out because there's THOUSANDS of people here in california working in the film industry. and if they all lose their jobs....?
and if everyone i know loses their jobs...?
ummmmmmmm
like i said every day i wake up and see another "please for the love of god i need a job i have 4000 skills and no one is hiring" post and i just start sweating and going .... "what is happening..."
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