#not angry at anyone or calling anyone out i agree w almost entirety of the post & addition here

[troglobite]

(i agree w op and it's a good point; i'm pushing back against a couple things in this second addition/rb & some implications in the op, as well. still not trying to be argumentative, but push the conversation further & challenge certain entrenched ideas. bc again, i agree & am coming from that angle.)

hotter take: the demonization of "ultraprocessed foods" is damaging no matter what. highly recommend this nutritionist for any info abt that. if [general, not op/rb] you won't listen to me, maybe [general] you will listen to a thin and licensed nutritionist.

the intent here is good: don't deprive your child of unifying and delightful social experiences. let them enjoy food. don't give them complexes about food. don't micromanage your child's diet to the point where they resent it, etc.

but also, maybe, just let them enjoy food. and teach/show them how! they are CHILDREN. unless they have allergies, sensitivities, or other serious health concerns, they will be FINE if they eat some candy MOST days of the week for various stretches of time. or ANYTHING sweet. or salty. basically every person in the world (with medical exceptions, exceptions for taste/preference, etc.) would be fine having at least 1 dessert every day. (and also this is only using "health" as a reference, which is a Whole Thing in and of itself)

maybe, also, as is the solution to most things: simply treat children like people who are just learning how things work.

instead of limiting what they eat without their involvement, instead of demonizing food and scaring them away from it or shaming them, or even acting like certain kinds of diets are even accessible to most people, how about we instead:

teach kids abt what we currently know abt how food works. why do they crave sugar and salt? why do these foods taste really good, and these ones don't? can we make them taste better? sometimes tastes change over time, so every few years we can try this food again, if you're up for it. how do you feel after you eat A LOT of food, regardless of what it is? what do you want to eat at different times? how do different foods make you feel? what kinds of tastes do you like? here are traditional and culturally relevant foods, and how/why they're important. how do we MAKE food? what abt food safety?

give them knowledge and choice in what they eat and how they eat it and when.

this is only possible if we education ourselves abt food, as well! which is why education around this is so important. but even the basics: hunger is this, food gives you energy, you need different kinds of energy, you probably should have a wide variety of it, etc.

for example, there is no such thing as junk food, there's just food. nutrition isn't just about calories or vitamins, etc., it's also abt social connection (covered well in this post), cultural connection, and emotional regulation.

it also looks different for everybody. no two people will require the same kinds of food in the same amounts prepared in the same ways. and what we know about nutrition is actually quite limited! not to say what we have is Completely Wrong, but that it's silly to paint with such a broad brush when we keep having to research and revise--and there are so many factors to health and diet that are difficult to account for, and make each person's needs individual. food & movement aren't the only two. and your socioeconomic status & geographic location control what you eat way more than anything else.

"ultraprocessed food" serves so many purposes: it lasts longer, it's typically more reliable and widely available, it's generally more affordable, and it's, crucially, more consistent and predictable, which is a HUGE thing for children (not even speaking of neurodivergent people in general). for ppl who can't afford the money or time of fresh foods, "ultra processed foods" are GREAT. (and they're also great for anyone who loves them)

if you have a problem with them, take it up with the government! we can have "ultra processed foods" that don't hurt people--it's the hormone disruptors and unnecessary food dyes that are the problem. they're outlawed elsewhere. we could follow their lead. preservation of foods isn't inherently bad. (and on the labor side, again, take it up with the govt: all workers deserve to be safe at work, protected, have a more than livable wage, benefits, etc.)

all of this is an overarching pipe dream about how we talk abt, teach abt, and interact with food, particularly as it pertains to raising our kids. but that's the point i'm going for here.

op is completely right, as is the addition; my hackles rise against "more wholesome foods" and "ultra processed foods" and the "let them have it every once in a while". you can go a month eating "junk" food (again, no such thing), and unless you have particular allergies or health concerns, you'll probably be fine.

determinants of health are so much bigger than what we eat and what we physically do.

so when it comes to teaching kids about food, we have to stop categorizing some foods as bad and others as good. it seems to be easier, but oversimplifying things for kids never goes well. if you're gonna simplify, at least be accurate and at least don't give them fucked up complexes abt shit.

tree nuts are WIDELY considered a Good Food. but they hurt me and could possibly even kill me, because i'm allergic.

fresh greens are WIDELY considered a Good Food. but they're raw, uncooked, and staring down the barrel of fewer safety regulations--so not only are they inconsistent in quality and texture (bad for kids & anyone with sensitive tastes), but they're also riskier. and ALSO, i have hEDS, and my body Cannot Digest fresh greens very well. (if accessible, an opportunity to teach kids abt where food comes from and maybe grow your own! but also [stares at heavy metals in most of the US soil] so y'know. ymmv.)

they're no better or worse than an "ultra processed" version of greens. that includes things like salsa, flavored veggie smoothies, premade soups, frozen veggies, etc.

the sum of my response to op & addition is: yes, absolutely. but also, there are no bad or good foods, and nutrition is more complicated than that. as per uszh, the solution is to treat kids like people and give them what knowledge you can, then let them make their own choices.

and the sum of everything else is: basically what i wish more people knew so that they COULD teach their kids that stuff. and also for themselves! and also this doesn't even get into the concept of "health" as a Whole Fucking Thing.

This is a controversial take that everyone will hate but it's one thing to feed your kid better, more wholesome food than twinkies and hot pockets daily, it's another thing to force them to adhere to a crunchy granola beige colored diet where they cant share the snacks their peers are eating or have a normal childhood or have fun. None of you were raised like that and if you were you know what im talking about.

[lovelylogans]

37. w moxiety?? i’m w e a k

and the moon’s never seen me before

ao3 | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: food mentions, mentions of being drunk. that’s about it, but please let me know if i’ve missed any—this is fluff, folks!

pairings: moxiety, mostly off-screen logince

words: 1,483

notes: i am literally so sorry this took so long! this prompt was “dance with me!” this takes place in the wyliwf verse, about two months after the main storyline. the songs patton’s listening to/singing to are “bubbly” by colbie caillat and “reflecting light” by sam philips, a gilmore girls easter egg and also where the title comes from. 

logan has nearly one hundred pages to read for his english course, a paper to write for history, and two tests to study for in latin and science. his plan for this saturday has been to sequester himself into his room to handle them—they haven’t quite reached spring midterms, but they’ve certainly reached the point that his coursework is starting to pile up on him again to the point of being nearly unbearable.

his dad had agreed with this plan, and virgil had, too, sent him upstairs with some healthy study-snacks and an enormous bottle of water, in hopes that logan will “take care of himself.”

he has. he’s also found himself unexpectedly hungry, again—he wonders ruefully when this growth spurt will finally stop, and he’ll stop feeling like he’s eating his dad out of house and home, to quote virgil—but he plods down the stairs, empty plate in hand, ready to sneak into the kitchen to pile up his plate with some filling options. hopefully, he’ll remain unseen so he can flee back to his room before he can be distracted too much. 

he hears music playing, the susurrus of a broom brushing along the floor, soft humming following, and then his dad starts to sing.

his dad has a pleasant voice—logan’s used to hearing it in terms of birthday songs, singalongs, and, in a handful of distant memories, being sung to sleep—and it harmonizes sweetly with the acoustic guitar, the alto voice of the artist. he remembers this song. it had been on the radio frequently when he was younger.

“dance with me!” patton sing-demands, at a break in the music, and logan chances a peek into the kitchen, trying his hardest not to be seen.

it’s still relatively early, so the sunlight’s slanting through the window in the kitchen, sunbeams that caught the dust motes dancing in the air. his dad was still half in pajamas—a sweater, pajama pants, one blue fuzzy sock and one black fuzzy sock—and virgil was dressed for the day, in jeans and his usual hoodie, but his feet were bare. his dad is twisting around the room, holding the broom as if it was a dance partner.

virgil has his back to his dad, but logan can still see the slight smile on his face, even as he scrubs at the dishes in the sink.

“i have kept you focused on chores,” virgil says, sounding only slightly resigned, “for five minutes. we can dance once the floor’s swept.”

“but this is a great song!” patton says, and picks up where the artist has continued without him, “—you make me smile, please, stay for a while now, just take your time, wherever you go—”

he twists on socked feet, mismatched, and tilts the broom so it stands on its own in the corner, slowly moving to crowd virgil at the sink, singing and harmonizing with the music all the while. virgil’s still fighting a smile, and focuses back on the dishes that he’s been scrubbing the whole time logan has been standing awkwardly in the living room, despite the fact that it’s visibly clean.

logan is beginning to regret that he hadn’t just continued without coming to a stop, when he’d heard the music. he knows his dad and virgil are together. he is happy about the development. he has been campaigning for it for years. it is nice to know that his father is being shown love, and being cared for, in the way that he deserves. it is also nice to know that virgil is just about the happiest he’s ever seen him.

it is also, he can acknowledge, a bit strange to walk downstairs on a saturday morning to see his dad cuddling up against virgil’s back, resting his chin on virgil’s shoulder, and cooing at him about virgil in the context of the lyrics it starts in my soul, and i lose all control. partially because it is virgil, but mostly because that is his dad.

(he might even admit, a while down the line, that the entirety of these feelings stem from that is my dad, considering he has three.)

but, he reflects as virgil rolls his eyes, smiling fondly, but at least he places the dish aside and moves to wipe his hands on a dish towel to gently hold patton’s wrists, keeping him in place, they are, very clearly, happy. yes, his father had sometimes sung and danced when he did chores on saturday mornings. but he had never had someone to sing and dance with. virgil has never had anyone to sing to him and dance with him. 

his dad sways on his feet, keeping virgil in their strange half-hug, and ends the saccharine song with an equally saccharine kiss on the cheek.

“dance with me?” his dad requests again, softer.

virgil seems to war with it, for a moment, before he sighs in defeat. “one song.”

“that’s all i ask,” his dad says, and leans up to kiss virgil on the cheek. “here, i’ll pick, just—wipe off your hands, you’re leaving soap suds on my wrists.”

“oh,” virgil says, and hastily, more thoroughly, wipes off his hands. “sorry.”

his dad waves him off, his tongue poking between his lips before he lets out an “a-ha!” and hits play on a song.

this is a song that logan doesn’t know. it starts with similar instrumentals—acoustics—but patton rocks up and down on his toes.

“you’re looking at me like you’re expecting something,” virgil says.

“what, you don’t remember?” his dad asks, hands behind his back, seeming strangely shy.

and then the singer begins to croon, her voice soft and clear, “now that i’ve worn out, i’ve worn out the world, i’m on my knees in fascination…”

“oh,” virgil says. then, “frankly, i’m shocked you can remember this. you were destroyed.”

“we don’t talk about my twenty-first birthday,” patton says primly. “well. other than this. you remember it now, though?”

“yeah, ‘course,” virgil says, sounding strangely fond. “i was practically holding you up, you were so drunk, but you kept telling me one more song, one more song…”

“and this is the song that came on,” his dad says. “this is the first slow-dance we ever danced to.”

as they’ve been talking, they’ve slowly moved toward each other, almost like they’re being pulled by some kind of gravitational force. as the singer begins to crescendo, reaching the first verse, and they’ve settled into a dancing position. his father’s arms wrapped around virgil’s neck. virgil’s hands at his father’s waist. they’re swaying together, more than anything. logan knows his father can dance, in a formal sense. this is hardly formal dancing. virgil’s feet are bare, his father’s feet socked. virgil has a dish towel thrown over his shoulder. they aren’t really even performing dance steps.

“is that so?” virgil says softly.

and yet there is something just as graceful as a viennese waltz in the way that they turn tiny circles in the kitchen. there is something just as smooth in their movements. there is something even more clearly emotional than even the most chemistry-filled dance duo could ever accomplish their eyes are fixed on each other’s—virgil’s, softened and fond, his father’s, even more expressive than usual, a smile on his face that’s gone sweet and sappy around the edges. 

it is so blatantly, clearly obvious that they love each other. in something as small as a dance on a sunny saturday morning, just to get a break from chores. in something as obvious as eye contact.

and this, logan thinks, this exact facial expression is why he can never get too righteous in his indignation about any potential displays of affection. because this is what he’s been rooting for for years. 

he’s been rooting for them to be blatantly, clearly, obviously in love with each other. and now they are.

he cannot possibly be angry about that when it’s so sweet that it makes him want to call roman, a little, and it makes him imagine a tiny, dingy little apartment that’s all theirs when they’re trying to make it in the world, and roman doing the exact same thing, gently prising him away from his desk just to get logan to dance with him, to do something sweet and silly and small and romantic…

he sets the plate on the coffee table as quietly as he can. they’ll see it later, and hopefully get the hint. the snacks can wait. he figures they’re probably owed some privacy, anyway.

logan goes up the stairs, the music chasing him as he goes—“i’m on my knees in fascination, looking through the night, and the moon’s never seen me before…”

there’s a swell of violin and cello. a shared giggle. the sound of a gentle, honeyed kiss.

“…but i’m reflecting light.”

[goosewhisker]

russetfur vs. the entirety of skyclan || ch. 1

read this on ao3 || read this on fanfiction.net

summary:  After enduring months of Turtlekit and Kitekit's abuse, Rootkit finally snaps and accidentally awakens his powers. This has the unfortunate side effect of reviving the ghost of an angry Shadowclan warrior who: 1) is personally offended by Skyclan's existence, and 2) has magnanimously taken it upon herself to relieve the world of that burden. Or something.

so this is an au that @xbloodywhalex and i came up with, its finally being written (sort of). i have a few more chapters ready which will go up eventually so keep an eye out for those

There's a grave in the camp.

Well - it's not really a grave per se, that's just what everyone calls it.

It's a little hidden and out-of-the-way, tucked between the elders' den and the nursery - a perfectly round patch of dirt where the grass doesn't grow. If you press your nose to the ground and sniff, it smells like sweat and anger and blood, no matter how often it rains. Hawkwing said once that when Tree first joined Skyclan, he'd taken one look at the circle and declared it haunted, and everyone else had steered clear of it since.

Rootkit's a little skeptical. Sure, there's something weird about the grave, but haunted? Honestly. If there was a ghost in the Skyclan camp, it would've shown up by now, and even his dad has to admit he's never seen anything. He's only sensed it, whatever that's supposed to mean. It's not like you can smell a ghost.

Anyway, no one knows how old it is or if someone died there or even who it might've been; the grownups say it was there before Skyclan arrived in the forest, which was so long ago that even his dad was hardly born yet. Rootkit can't imagine it.

Even though he doesn't think it's haunted, he still ends up back there a lot. Most other cats are wary of the grave and won't go near, which means Rootkit can hide there anytime he wants without being bothered. Usually, he's hiding from Kitekit and Turtlekit, but sometimes it's the unfriendly looks the older cats give him that send him creeping behind the nursery. They look at him weird because of his dad, he knows. Sometimes, all he wants to do is sink into the ground and never talk to anyone again.

Needlekit pretends not to care, but he caught her crying on top of the grave one time, so he knows it bothers her too.

Rootkit's thought about trying to talk to her, once or twice, but she's trying so hard to act strong and he can't ruin that for her. And his mom will just lick his ears and tell him they really don't think he's weird, dear, and he'll see the lie in her eyes. And as for his dad - he can't talk to his dad. So he talks to the grave instead.

"Kitekit pushed me down, today," he'll say, or "Turtlekit put ants in Needlekit's nest and blamed it on me, and Reedclaw believed her." Once, he tried to explain why his dad aggravates him so much, but halfway through he choked on frustrated tears and gave up. Maybe next time.

The point is that he talks to it, a lot, and sometimes he says things that maybe he shouldn't have.

So when Kitekit overhears him talking about how his dad was trying to teach him to think like a bush (and as if that isn't the stupidest thing he's ever heard, seriously), and calls Turtlekit over to for let's-all-make-fun-of-Rootkit-time, it's really just what he deserves. After all, he's the weird son of the one cat who talks to ghosts and had to have an entirely new role invented for him; if Rootkit's talking to piles of dirt now, he's just carrying on the family tradition of being an absolute loon. According to Kitekit and Turtlekit, anyway.

"-I'm just saying, if you want it to talk back, maybe you're just not going at it the right way," Turtlekit suggests, a sneer curling her lip.

"Yeah," Kitekit chimes in. "Maybe you should try thinking like a bush. Just like your dad, right?"

Rootkit glares at his paws, watching them shake with barely repressed fury. "Can't you leave me alone? I don't care what my stupid dad does!"

His tormentors laugh. They both sound identical, vapid and inane and carelessly, needlessly cruel. He hates them, Rootkit realizes, and something inside him wavers on the verge of a breaking point.

"You might not," Kitepaw says. "But everyone else does. Leafstar does. She's just letting you guys stay here 'cause of your mom. Do you really think she'll let a weirdo like you be a warrior?"

Rootkit's head snaps up against his will. He knows better than to give them a reaction like that, but this is his dream; he wants to be a warrior so badly it hurts. Leafstar wouldn't actually keep him from being a warrior, would she?

Turtlekit snickers. "Maybe, when you finish your apprenticeship, she'll just kick you out. After all, there's no way you'll be a decent warrior, and we don't need another useless cat dragging the clan down." Another cat like your father goes unsaid, but the implication makes Rootkit dig his claws into the ground.

"And your worthless sister, too," Kitepaw adds, and within Rootkit something snaps.

"That's enough," Rootkit snarls. Kitekit jerks back in surprise, but Rootkit doesn't care. The hatred welling up in his throat burns like something physical; if he were any angrier, he'd spit acid. "I've had enough of you people! Every single day, every single day you treat me like garbage, when I've done nothing to you! I hate you!"

Kitekit's eyes go wide as he backs away. Turtlekit mouths a word, but Rootkit can't hear it over the blood singing in his ears. The heat rushing through every nerve in his body is making him giddy; he feels high on power, watching his enemies cower before him.

"You think you can say whatever you want to me," Rootkit hisses. "You think you can say whatever you want about my family! Guess what - starting now, if you ever mention my mom or my dad or my sister again - I'll kill you!"

The last words seem to echo with a throaty reverb through the air. All of Kitekit's fur is standing on end. Turtlekit is cringing to the ground, ears flattened back so far that they've disappeared into her skull. Rootkit grins, and it's more a baring of teeth than a smile.

"Now go," he breathes. Kitekit and Turtlekit stumble over each other in their haste to flee, for once uncoordinated and clumsy as they'd always accused Rootkit of being.

Rootkit sits back on his heels to watch them run. He'll probably get yelled at later, but finally letting loose had felt good. "That was fun," he says aloud, and almost jumps out of his skin when someone laughs coldly behind him.

Rootkit screams. He'd like to say he didn't, really, he would, but the noise he makes is too high pitched and panicky to be called anything but a scream. A particularly shrill squeak, maybe.

The strange she-cat looming over him looks like she'd probably agree. She's tall and russet and bone-thin, with a narrow face torn by battle scars. Her scent is cold and musty and reminds Rootkit of the time he'd stashed a mouse and forgotten about it, only to find it again weeks later after it had rotted.

Rootkit swallows and finds his throat has gone dry. "W-who are you? And how'd you get into the camp?"

The she-cat eyes him disdainfully. Rootkit shrinks back, regretting his question immediately. Kitekit and Turtlekit's scorn had infuriated him to no end; this cat's gaze makes him want to crawl under a rock somewhere and die.

After a moment, the she-cat speaks. "You smell like a rogue. What are you doing on Shadowclan territory?"

On what? "What?" Rootkit says dumbly.

The she-cat's lip curls back. She's starting to look considerably less amused and considerably more irritated. Rootkit shivers and longs for his mother.

"This clearing is Shadowclan's, brat," she snaps. "I'd have thought the scent marks would be enough to get the message across, but I'm not one to shy away from... more direct methods of communication." Her scent flares with something like bloodlust, and Rootkit abruptly gets the feeling that if those direct methods involve her claws, he's not about to stick around and find out.

"Mom!" Rootkit shrieks as loud as he can. The she-cat winces and he seizes that split second to sprint out from behind the nursery, still screaming. He gets halfway across the camp before slamming into absolutely the last person he wants to see.

"Woah, kid. Something wrong?" Tree's amber eyes blink down at him and for a moment Rootkit just wants to curl onto his dad's chest fur and cry.

Then he remembers his more urgent problem.

"Dad, I-" Rootkit pauses to glance around the camp. No one's quite looking at them, but he can tell they're all eavesdropping avidly. Rootkit's resolve hardens. "Dad. We've got a- a you problem."

Tree looks amused. "A me problem?"

"Yes!" Rootkit growls with frustration and throws himself against his dad's legs, pushing him towards the grave. "You know what I mean!"

That stupid amused look won't get off his face, but thankfully he doesn't say anything and lets himself be pushed. As they pick their way through the brambles behind the nursery, Rootkit breaks away and situates himself securely behind Tree's leg. If the she-cat wants him, she'll have to go through Tree, and Rootkit might have issues with him but he knows that his dad will kill to protect him.

As it turns out, he doesn't have to. The gravesite is empty.

Tree turns to Rootkit. "What am I supposed to be seeing, here?"

Rootkit gazes past him, aghast. "I don't understand!" He scrambles underneath his dad to pace around the little circle, looking for any evidence of the interloper. There's no trace of her but the musty smell of rot. "She was here earlier," Rootkit mutters, mostly to himself. "She smelled like something dead. I think she was... she was..."

"A ghost?" Tree asks. Horrified, Rootkit turns to him to dissuade this particular train of thought, but his dad is already nodding. "I've always wondered if you or Needlekit would inherit my abilities," he says. "It seems like you might have awakened your own. How'd it happen?"

Rootkit looks at the ground and thinks of his earlier outburst, of the heady rush of power that had surged beneath his skin. "No idea," he mumbles.

Tree seems to take him at his word. "That happens sometimes. This ghost, did she say anything?"

Rootkit thinks back to the encounter. "She said... something about Shadowclan. That I smell like a rogue. Not much else, she didn't even tell me her name."

"Huh." Tree looks contemplative. "Well, this was Shadowclan territory, once. She probably died a while ago, so it'll probably be hard to help her move on. Meanwhile, let's both keep an eye out, hmm?" He nudges Rootkit gently. When Rootkit doesn't meet his eyes, Tree sighs. "Well, let me know if you see her again, kiddo. I'm going to talk to your mother."

Rootkit watches his dad leave with some resentment. He's going to go straight to Violetshine, and tell her all about Rootkit's creepy new powers, and by sundown the whole camp will know and any chance Rootkit has of not being treated like a freak will be gone. Figures.

Rootkit slumps to the ground. All that, and his dad didn't even help with the ghost problem, 'cause the dumb lady took off before he even got there. What a waste of time.

At least he got to freak out Kitekit and Turtlekit. Rootkit snickers into the dirt, remembering the looks on their faces, and abruptly goes stiff with an eep as a freezing wind cuts through the fur on his shoulders. A cold chuckle echoes through the air, and right by his ear, the she-cat's voice whispers, "My name's Russetfur, brat."

Rootkit shudders.

He doesn't move until the she-cat's icy laughter has faded completely, and her dark presence has disappeared from the grave. Once he's sure she's absolutely, entirely gone, Rootkit clambers to his feet, eyes narrowed in determination.

He has work to do.

[extreme-close-up-woooaah]

breakfast club headcanons V

andrew - first things first i think that we can all agree that this man is in fact a jean cuffer, he’s a bi man - he had braces from 7th grade to junior year and gets very embarrassed of  precious old photos of younger him - okay so, i need to elaborate on this boys family life, it’s insane - this boy is brothers with the kid in the police office in ferris buellers day off (his name is garth volbeck) and they have a sister named judy because garth mentions her - yes i did this because they are brothers irl and have different last names irl (but for different reasons)  - and their parents divorced a year before the breakfast club so their mother (a very sweet lady who loves her kids no matter what and respects them, she can also bake and she taught andrew to respect woman) she already moved out into another house in another neighborhood - so andrew lives with his dad sadly, and has a hard time escaping it all, garth is in between everything and judy lives with their mother by choice because of obvious reasons - okay hopefully ya’ll understand that :) - next things next this man (even out of my au) grows up to be a librarian - the story to how that happened is kind of upsetting, i don’t want anyone to feel in any way triggered or upset by this so... T W: don’t read if sensitive to stuff like verbal abuse - after highschool he got into a college for wrestling and did his thing and then after that he got onto the wrestling team his dad coaches - andrew had joined but it had drained him, his mental health was deteriorating to say the least - eventually he started to feel pain in his knee but his father kept pushing him and pushing him until he couldn’t take it anymore - he knee gave out  - i’m not educated enough to say why but all i know is that he couldn’t wrestle anymore and was useless in his fathers eyes - his father said very mean things to him and left him at a telephone booth with very little money, enough to get a burger at a mcdonalds, he called garth - asked him to take him to the hospital, he was shaky on the phone but his brother understood and came to pick him up - the ride was completely silent and understandably so, but andrew ended up crying in the passenger seat, he was kind of cold too  T W over: enjoy the rest :) - uh soooo ONCE AGAIN i am NOT educated enough to say what happened to his knee but he ended up having some chronic knee thing and it was only going to get worse and he needed a knee brace for it  - he ends up staying at garth and his boyfriends house (sorry to anyone who thinks brian should just be on his own, me and my bf ship brian and garth like a couple of dorks U-U so please do ignore it if you don’t like it or think of them as roommates :>)  - he ended up getting a job at the local library and he was pretty good at it, this library in particular was very safe and a tame - perfect, so he ended up getting the money from it and a small loan from his brother and getting his own apartment eventually  - he built his life back up and he’d end up in a comfortable house with a cat and perhaps a husband or wife A H E M bENDer - okay now on to the good stuff, lead your mind back to kindergarten - when he was younger he liked the colors pink and purple and he likes blue omg bi pride  but he ended up getting scolded for it from his dad so he vowed his whole life to hate those three things because he thought this was the normal way to live - which would explain why he’d say he hates cats but then meet one or even own one and get crazy attached to it and even name it - him and his brother wrestled around a lot but when it came to their sister they’d never hurt her, she (age: 3) was BRUTAL to them, they all look back and laugh on it later - he’s a middle child but oddly he crushes the idea of middle child syndrome because he gets too much unwanted attention from his dad, garth is two years older, his sister is three years under - in middle school he was kinda awkward and even in highschool wasn’t the most popular kid, he was good at wrestling and considered to be the best of them but girls liked the louder ones better, he’s kind of quiet - he’s got “terrible taste” in clothes according to the entirety of the breakfast club, he dresses like an old man when he’s older, but like an ancient man like me  like full on plaid pants blue shirt tan cardigan kinda thingy - when he’s younger he stays sporty on days where he has a meet but some days my man wears a yucky polo and plaid pants and a big belt once again some ugly old man stuff that i’d wear - he’s a door mat, push over, he cannot say no and that’s one of his main issues NOT PROJECTION but like me 😎 - he’s extremely polite and tries his best at being nice and respectful toward everyone but when it comes to standing up for himself in particular against people who aren’t specifically bender, he’s lost and kinda just ignores it and lets it happen - bender finally gets him to snap cause andrew wouldn’t let anyone hurt his friends or even just a person in general - he’s a little on edge for the rest of his time in detention - ya’ll okay sorry bout this, but the breakfast club is just a group of stuffed animal hoarders, he’s got a regular old teddy bear at his MOMS house so it’s safe :) - lil spoon  - cozy man wears sweaters - OH he’s super short, not a headcanon, HECK its not projection, i just enjoy the fact that he’s short and blonde like meee :} lets appreciate the tiny boy shall we? - his letterman is a size too big because he was told he’d grow into it, he is cozy - he’s at his happiest when he’s a. with his friends b. on a chair with a cat or c. outside in autumn time  - bender makes andrew a small angry bi whenever he’s around, andrew has a lot of pent up anger and he’s a little uptight and bender shakes him loose and gets him annoyed and then continues to baby voice him about how much he loves him in a funny sorta way, mostly when they were younger - andy and allison are super close and tell each other almost everything, they have coffee together and talk about how everything is every now and then, more often when they’re older - benders strong so he’ll give everyone piggy backs, usually he surprise attacks andy tho and picks him up, or if they walk home all together after school, whoevers tired, if its andrew he’ll be gentle in that circumstance - brian and andrew like books, one grows up to be an author and the other a librarian, and once andy discovers his book in his library he smiles and checks it out to read - claire and andy are closer when they’re older, they talk about their shared experiences as a kid and how they ended up where they are and they talk about how lucky they are compared to others - when they were younger claire used to try and show the boys style, bender is already a fashionista but claire picks out some cool ties for him with wacky designs on them, he wears those to work when he’s older - brian enjoys it but only to buy a pair of new shoes, perhaps some loafers and a cool button up - claire has to pick out clothes for andy because andy doesn’t know what he likes quite yet, claire ends up teaching him how to cuff his jeans and :)))))) okay i’ll stop - around christmas, andrew gets the worst gifts, he tries so so hard but he can never seem to get it right, bender gets a kick out of it :}  - in the au they have a cat named mr.ravioli because bender made raviolis and the cat began to feast on them without them knowing so they decided that’d be his name i’ll stop here but it’s not the last part of this series of headcanons, i will write more, some future ones being for all of them together, and then a fbdo bttf pretty in pink cross over where all the cool kidz hang together!! sorry this was so long ;<; i didn’t mean to absolutely pour out my heart but i love andrew and he deserves some headcanons :} i hope their not too bad ;w;

[silvana-fangirls]

Good Mourning [KogKag]

Fandom:

InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale

Relationships:

Higurashi Kagome/Kouga

SUMMARY: After they destroyed Naraku and Kagome wished for the Shikon no Tama to disappear, it not only took the sorrow, pain and loss with it. But something Kagome thought was genuinely hers.

I HIGHLY SUGGEST FOR YOU TO READ IT IN AO3 AND/OR FF.NET (find it under the same name, or in my posts under #silvana writes : good mourning

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO A TAG LIST, HIT MY ASK BOX!

CHAPTER 3

Just one more hit and then we're through 'Cause you could never love me back Cut every tie I have to you 'Cause your love's a fucking drag

But I need it so bad

- 'Nicotine' Panic! At the Disco

Kouga gripped the edges of the make-shift rock table so hard it was threatening to break as soon as he entered the private den where he usually held his war-related meetings with his higher-ranked pack members.

He let out a raged, shaky breath, while his clawed fingers grinded over the rocky surface causing an unpleasant sound; all in order to keep himself from turning to dust the entire fucking mountain.

His whole body was tensed up, all muscles flexed so hard that if anyone touched him right now would've said he was made of solid iron. His lips twitched, fangs pocking out dangerously, threatening to let out a spine-chilling growl. His eyebrows, deep in a frown, as he closed his eyes tightly, hiding their now blood-red color. His nostrils flared, intoxicated in a scent he was not supposed to smell ever fucking again.

His eyes, haloed crimson, only snapped open when he heard his two idiotic 'second in command' entering the den, to then stand behind him as they fought nervous fidgets.

It took everything inside him not to rip them apart right there and then.

"I wonder if I haven't made myself clear enough before" He said, some words coming out in animalistic snarls, as he refused to turn to them still. If he turned before calming his youkai down, he'll rip them apart before at least hearing what could've possessed them to do what they did; and calming down was proving to be a difficult task right now, with her scent, her aura, her everything taking over him like some goddamn poison.

"K-Kouga w-we can expla-" Ginta started to say, as his voice trembled in fear.

Koga didn't even give him a chance to finish the sentence.

"Yeah, you fucking better!" He shouted, youkai voice interlacing with his, as the rock table snapped in two.

The two of them nearly jumped out of their skin when Kouga turned to face them.

"I wanna know what in hell possessed you two, to decide it was great idea to go against a direct order of mine" He snarled, but felt himself calm down just enough so his youkai was tamed down. "Every fucking wolf in here was ordered to never, under any circumstances, let her step a foot on the mountain. So, help me understand how you two that knew exactly what went down, out of every single demon, brought her here?!"

"W-We didn't want to, I swear!" Hakkaku stuttered out. "We told her that we were ordered not to let her in the mountain, but she refused to listen!"

"Y-Yeah, she basically black-mailed us!" Ginta agreed quickly.

"What?" Kouga spat out, not really as a question but more in disbelief at how much stupidity was coming out of his betas' mouths.

"W-We explained her the situation, a-and told her to go home, told her it was for the best-" Hakkaku started.

"A-And told her how dangerous it was for her to be in the woods at the moment!" Ginta added.

"And we told her we weren't allowed to take her to the mountains so w-we were just gonna escort her out of the woods" Hakkaku continued.

"A-And then she was like 'Pity, I'm not going anywhere'" Ginta said, trying to imitate Kagome's voice in a high pitch tone.

"Y-Yeah! And then she was like 'And if you're not going to help me, I'll get to the mountains on my own. I'm not going home until I talk to Kouga'" Hakkaku said then, now also imitating Kagome's voice.

"And you know how stupid that was gonna be! The woods packed with northerns and westerns, and the eating humans' treaty! Kami, she was already wounded as well"

Kouga's youkai flared at this, and he wanted to punch it for it.

Of course he knew she was wounded. It was one of the reasons he turned back to the mountains, fast as lighting, a few minutes after he felt her presence near his home while he was miles away from it.

Kouga was not only a wolf demon, but an alpha at that. His senses excelled almost every demon's alive, and also excelled all of his pack member's senses by far. He could hear, smell and sense everything that was miles away from him. On top of that, Kagome was his-

He started to sense her just as soon as she was a few miles away from her village.

He was far away at that moment, nearing the Southern Lands when he first felt her.

He found it odd, but his mind soon figured that maybe she was traveling somewhere. His lands, while considerably far away, surrounded her village somewhat. So, she would've had to cross them if she wanted to travel pretty much anywhere.

The fact that it was the first time ever she moved from that village was nagging him, but he ignored it.

He needed to triple check that the Southern tribe was still set on not partaking on the war. They were having enough on their plates as it was. While the Eastern tribe still outnumbered the Northern and Western tribes combined (just one of the several reasons there was a war in the first place) and his men were undoubtedly stronger and smarter than their opponents, he wasn't sure if they would be able to handle another tribe joining the opposite side, no matter how superior they were in numbers or battling skills.

He knew that the leaders of the North tribe were going to try to lure the South to join them. So, he had to make sure that the Southern alpha was still set on his first decision; and if he was not, Kouga would enjoyed to help him stay put.

That's why he didn't stop nor turned around when he felt her. After all, only one of his many forests was the one with that 'treaty' he made.

'Every nearby village knows what's going on' he remembered thinking. 'I'm certain hers' knows too, and if they don't, villagers on her way will warn her' was another thought that crossed his mind at that time 'She's not stupid'.

Though, something that was nagging his mind just a bit was the fact that she was almost alone. He could feel the neko-demon with her, but no one else. No mutt.

He briefly wondered if it was because InuYasha was a hanyou, that's why he was having trouble sensing him, and her other travel companions were human. Sure, she was human as well, but she was… she was Kagome, of course he'd feel her.

What he needed to do regarding the Southern tribe was extremely important, and could not wait. He was in charge of a numerous pack facing a war right now. He was an alpha, he couldn't turn back on his tribe, much less for her, out of all beings in the universe.

Not to mention, he truly didn't want to see her to begin with.

So, he continued to run his 'errands' while unconsciously keeping tabs of her movements.

He was done dealing with the Southern alpha when his heart nearly skipped a beat.

She was nearing the edge of the forest.

Why on hell she was nearing the edge of the forest.

Without so much a word, and as soon as he ruthlessly forced the South to stay out of his way, he bolted towards his lands.

Moments later, when she was already undoubtedly flying across the forest, she was wounded, badly.

With now crimson eyes, and growling through sharp-mortal fangs, he picked up his pace.

He mentally thanked whatever god or devil was around when Ginta and Hakkaku found her and saved her.

He allowed himself to calm down once he stopped smelling blood pouring out of her.

Still, he was angry at himself. Sure, he could feel bad if anything ever happened to her, but the way he reacted? Desperation, madness, rage consuming him in his entirety, his youkai almost taking completely over after centuries of being in complete control over it.

This tiny woman always sent him over the edge.

He reflected that no matter how much distance was between them, how many years they spent without even catching a glimpse of the other, he would always react this way when it came to her. After all, it was natural, quite literally. She was his, regardless of whatever she tried to convince herself. He was hers, she would never be able to be indifferent when it came to him, no matter how hard she tried.

She would always be his, she would always feel like a part of him.

So, he would always lose the reigns when it came to her, no matter how badly he didn't wanna see her ever again.

Still, he could not fit in his own and utter shock when he realized that not only she was indeed going for his den, but that fucking Ginta and Hakkaku were escorting her.

Just when he thought they'd matured at last.

"W-What would you have us do in his situation?" Ginta asked, bringing Kouga back to the present issue.

"I would've you take her back to where she came from, dragging her by the feet if fucking needed!" Kouga growled out, making them both jump back. "You should've escorted her back to her damned village by force if she refused, I don't give a fuck; place her on the mutt's arms with a bow on top, and tell him to put a freaking leash on her if necessary to keep this from happening ever again!"

"Kouga you know her better than we do! She would've tried again! You know how she is, sis would never-" If looks could kill, Hakkaku would've dropped dead on the spot. "KAGOME! I mean Kagome" He corrected himself instantly.

One of the other explicit, direct orders from Kouga was to never, ever call her sister again.

"You do know that there's a hundred demons outside waiting for me to execute you?" Kouga said through a clenched jaw.

Hell, while he didn't want to kill them, because they were Ginta and Hakkaku after all, he did want to hurt them, really, really bad.

Hakkaku gulped down in fear and Ginta sighed.

"We know" Ginta said looking down at the floor. "And we understand and accept if you do" Kouga raised an eyebrow at this.

"We do?" Hakkaku squeaked out, looking at his best friend in disbelief.

"Yes" Ginta said, without a single hesitation. "At least I do" Kouga blinked in surprise at this. "I don't regret what I did" Kouga clenched his jaw "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if she died when I could've protected her" Ginta continued, and it took everything inside Kouga not to react to the statement "I mean… She's Kagome" He added, and Kouga knew he meant 'she's sister'. "So, yeah… I'm good with whatever punishment you see fit, Alpha Kouga"

Kouga didn't know how he managed not to flinch at that. Everyone in the pack called him that, except these two. So, it only meant one thing. Whatever Ginta was saying was 100% serious.

"Y-Yeah, me too!" Hakkaku said after a moment.

Kouga sighed and tried not to give any other sort of reaction.

He couldn't blame them for the way they were acting. Wolf demons were extremely familiar beings, they depended on each member of the pack, just like each member of the pack depended on them. Kagome was his intended mate, their Alpha's intended mate. It's no surprise that they would've tried to protect her. But, it wasn't only that. Ginta and Hakkaku were Kagome's friends, too, unlike the rest of the pack.

Not a single pack member would dare go against an Alpha's direct order. Not only because there're definitely less painful ways to die, but because it was also a sign of disrespect towards the pack, too.

But, Ginta and Hakkaku would, because Kagome (at least once upon a time) was their friend.

It'll almost felt unfair to blame them. But, they had to be punished, anyone else would've dealt with his ruthless fury, he couldn't just skip past them completely.

So the question was, what to do now?

"You need to get rid of her" Kouga finally said, earning a dumbfounded look from both of them. "And you'll loose your privileges until I feel you can be trusted again" He added, frowning at them while showing fangs to let them know he was being serious. "Go, now" He said. "I don't want to see her when I get out of here"

"Kouga there's something else, though…" Ginta said, and as if he was reading his mind, Hakkaku turned to him with a concerned glance as well.

Kouga said nothing, tired of discussing and negotiating with this two. They should've just shut their mouths and run towards the village with Kagome in hand while thanking Kami he had mercy on them by now. So, he just waiting for him to continue.

"There's not a single trace of InuYasha on her"

X

It was funny.

It was funny how she was almost atop of a mountain right now, yet she felt the Earth swallowing to the very center.

Kirara, still on her smaller form, was growling consistently while each hair on her pelt was up… but, that didn't stop anyone from looking at her.

As soon as Ginta and Hakkaku disappeared from her sight, tailing a raging Kouga, each and every single pair of eyes (at least the alive ones) turned to her, accusingly.

At first, she pointedly ignored every of them.

Her eyes went down to the ground, as she tried to focus on petting Kirara as best as she could.

It worked well at first, but now? It was impossible to ignore the comments that were being whispered all around her.

"How dare she come back after rejecting him like that?!"

"And for a disgusting hanyou, no less!"

"Great timing, too! In the middle of the war no less, as if Kouga wasn't stressed enough as it is!"

"He better not take her back, after she disrespected him like that!"

"I agree, showing up here when she pleases, the nerve!"

"Kouga deserves so much better"

"Most of the females are prettier than her, too…"

"Maybe that mutt kicked her out, that's why she's here with her tail between her legs!"

"Don't be stupid, it's because of the bond! It was only a matter of time…"

"Still, he shouldn't take her back"

"Why would he? He has enough female attention here…"

Kagome felt like she sunk down half her size, and tears were pricking the corners of her eyes.

They were right, for the most part. Except for the part where they implied that she rejected him knowing the truth, which she didn't. She knows she should've given him the benefit of the doubt, but how could she know?

'He has enough female attention here'

That broke Kagome's heart in a trillion pieces. Sure, she knew better than to expect Kouga to be mate-less and just loyal to a woman who has rejected him, told him she never wanted to see him again, and disappeared for three years. Still, that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a truck from back home was running over her heart over and over.

She tried to calm herself down, and remember Sango's advice.

She wasn't here to be with him, at least that wasn't the most important thing.

She was here to apologize. To accept her mistake, beg for forgiveness, and hope Kouga could at least take her back as a friend.

Still, it appeared that some part of her held to the hope of him still being in love with her.

That part of her was having the butt-kick of it's life.

What made her more angry, though, was the fact that these demons were probably reading her like an open book. Smelling each and every emotion their comments were causing on her.

"And to think poor Ginta and Hakkaku have to pay the price of this"

"I know… Kouga's probably gonna hold their execution this evening"

That made her head snap up.

Execution?!

She knew they were in trouble, big trouble, but definitely not that kind of trouble!

Ginta and Hakkaku were Kouga's best friends, for crying out loud! Surely he wouldn't!

In the midst of panic, Kagome was still able to focus for a moment and search for Kouga's aura. It took her almost a millisecond, it was impossible for her not to feel him, anyways. Not with him being close to her.

Without sparing so much a glance to the wolf demons looking at her, she started to walk towards where she felt him, as wolf demons got out of her way, too shocked to even stop her.

She followed the feeling towards a tunnel and after a while, still gripping Kirara on her arms, she came face to face with an entrance to a smaller den.

Guarded by two wolf demons.

"Eh! What are you doing here?!" One of them instantly exclaimed at the sight of her.

"This tunnel is off-limits! Only the ones that were explicitly called by Alpha Kouga can be here!" The other one added.

"Let me in, I need to speak to him" Kagome said, unintimidated by the two bulky wolf demons.

"Haven't you heard us, lil human? You're not supposed to be here!" The first one exclaimed pointedly stepping in front of the entrance, blocking her way.

"I won't ask again. I need to speak to him, now!" Kagome said unwavering.

"Now listen here you little bit-"

It happened way faster than any of them could've expected. A shot of lilac beaming reiki shot from her hand and towards them. It was in no way something that could've harmed them gravely, just superficial. Something to simply leave them unconscious for a little while.

She expected them to understand the urgency in her tone of voice, but it became clearer and clearer with each passing second that whatever was going on between wolf demons, something that they would never do was disobey their Alpha, under any circumstances.

After looking down at the unconscious demons on the ground, checking for anything out of what she expected, she turned to the entrance and without a second thought, running the fur that was serving as a door/curtain.

The den was even further away from what she anticipated, not just at the other side of the 'curtain'. She had to walk a shorter tunnel once again, before finally entering a small, fire-lit den.

The three people in there instantly turned to her.

Her heart leaped to her throat once her chocolate brown eyes connected with icy blue ones.

"Kouga" She whispered under her breath again, much like a few moments ago, when she first saw him.

And, just like when he first saw her, he turned to Ginta and Hakkaku with a deep frown.

"Take her back to her village, now" He growled at both of them, making Kagome shiver at both: the sound of his voice for the first time in years and the danger in his growl.

Ginta opened his mouth, as if to object, but he didn't have the chance to let out a sound.

"Ginta, Kami help me, if a single sound comes out of your goddamn mouth, I'll rip you apart right here, right now." Kouga growled again, making Ginta snap his mouth shut instantly.

"No!" Kagome exclaimed as soon as Kouga's threat was out. "You can't murder them!" Kouga turned to her again, looking rather confused this time. "I heard about the execution! You can't kill them!"

"What?!" He exclaimed nearly bewildered. It was the first word he directly spoke to her. 'What'.

"It was me! I blackmailed them. I know they disobeyed your orders, but I put them both in an impossible position. It's not their fault! You can't kill them because of me!" Kagome was nearly babbling now, tears running from the corners of her eyes. "They were just trying to help me! I knew they wouldn't let me go on my own because they're both so kind hearted! And I took advantage of it! It was me! Please don't kill them, they're your best friends, you cannot kill them!"

"No one's getting killed!" Kouga finally exclaimed in exasperation.

Kagome stopped abruptly.

"What? There won't be an execution?" Kagome asked.

"No si-Kagome" Hakkaku said "Kouga decided for another punishment. We appreciate your concern, tho-"

"Alright, that's enough. Take her to her village now before I change my mind" Kouga said, and started to walk towards one of the edges of the den, where another rock- makeshift table was and Kagome watched as Ginta and Hakkaku walked towards her with sympathetic look on their faces.

She instantly took a step back from them.

"Wait-No!" She said, bringing Kirara even closer to her as she stepped back. "I told them I'm not going anywhere until we talk!" She said, turning to Kouga that was now a few meters away from her.

She literally saw how all his muscles stiffened in tension and how his aura grew in anger.

Kagome gulped down, as she also bit her lips. She knew she was pressing her luck and probably shouldn't be speaking at him like this, all things considered. But, what else what she supposed to do to make him listen?

It was crystal clear that he did not want her here.

"Oh, you told them?" Kouga scoffed back instantly in a sarcastic manner, making Kagome regret instantly the way she spoke the words. "So, of course, you expect them to do as you say, over their orders, my orders"

"I didn't mean it like that-" Kagome said with a small voice, glancing at the ground once again, but Kouga quickly interrupted her.

"Seriously, though, Kagome" Kouga then asked, and Kagome turned her eyes on him once again. He was looking straight at her this time, eyes piercing hers, unwavering. "What the fuck are you even doing here?"

The sound of her name coming out of his lips after so long sent hot jolts all over her body, yet question and the harshness of it crushed Kagome's heart, but she didn't blame him for asking that nor for being angry. Who wouldn't?

"I'm here to talk" She said once again.

"Talk about what, exactly?" He scoffed and took a few steps towards her but still maintained a considerable distance between them. "There's absolutely nothing to talk about, Kagome. It's been three fucking years, for Kami's sake!" He nearly roared, making Kagome flinch. "What on hell makes you think that I'll sit down and chat with you after all this fucking time?!" Kagome opened her mouth to talk, but he stepped even closer to her, and interrupted her before she could say anything. "And in the middle of the fucking war, no less! Like I actually have the time for more shit!"

"I didn't know you were at war!" Kagome finally roared back. "I only knew when Ginta and Hakkaku told me after they found me!"

"And yet you still decided to put up your little stunt and force them to bring you here instead of turning around and going back home!" Kouga raged on. "Ya know, you should be grateful it was them the ones to find you and bring you here. Because if it were any of my other pack members they would be fucking dead already!"

"I'm sorry, alright?! I know I shouldn't be inconveniencing you right now, but I couldn't wait any longer!" She defended herself.

"And just how much did you wait, Kagome? A year? A month? Or was it just a few days ago that the mutt finally got tired of you so you decided to settle for the next best as soon as you could?!" Kouga growled out.

"It's not like that, Kouga, and you know it!" Kagome said, now actually feeling offended. Yes, she knew that once upon a time (without knowing any better) she chose InuYasha over Kouga but it was because she didn't know the truth back then and she knew Kouga knows that! Besides, implying that she simply just moved on to the next plate once she had her fill of the first one, was an insult.

"I don't care, Kagome! I, sincerely, don't give a fuck!" Kouga said with such an angered force that made everyone in the room flinch and step back. "This is not your place." He said then. "You shouldn't be here. You should be at home with your mate or your family or whoever the fuck is there, and you should go back there right now" he said with finality. "Take her home" He turned to the two frightened wolf demons that were looking at both of them in terrified shock and turned his back to her again as he moved towards the edge of the den once more.

The two of them, with cautious movements, started walking towards Kagome.

"No" She said, and snatched back the arm that Ginta tried to grab. "I refuse to go anywhere until we talk!" She loudly declared again, frowning and watching as Kouga turned to her once again.

"Then they'll drag you there, I don't care" He said and pretended to shrug her off.

"Then I'll come back" Kagome said challengingly, frown deep on her face as she advanced towards him. "And again, and again, and again! No matter how many times you have them push me away, I will return! And if I have to purify every single one of your wolves to get you to talk to me, I will!"

Kouga eyed her, head to toe, without giving away any emotion for her to read, before he turned to his packmates again.

"Are you to deaf or something?" He simply said, and Kagome watched from the corner of her eye how both of them trembled but advanced nervously towards her again.

"Ginta, Hakkaku, I swear to god, if you lay a single claw on me I'll knock you both unconscious" She said threateningly and shot a spark of her reiki for good measure, making both of them instantly retract from her.

"B-Boss?" Hakkaku stuttered, as both of them looked towards their Alpha, unsure of what to do.

Kouga didn't even glance at them, his icy blue eyes still on Kagome, surveying her, observing her, with that very same aura he had when she first saw him. His body tensed up, eyes sharp… just as if he was about to be attacked, as if he was about fight.

Kagome knew that he wouldn't dare touch her right now, not like she would ever hurt him, but still. He also wouldn't let his packmates suffer a potential purification just to get her out of her mountains.

She also knew, that this was because Kouga didn't know the extend of her powers now. Back when he knew the extend of them, she could only summon them when using a bow and arrow.

This was unknown territory, and wolves weren't anything but cautious and protective of their pack members. He wouldn't risk it… but she also didn't want to corner him like this.

He was mad, and rightfully so. He wanted her out of his home, also rightfully so, since she came here uninvited. Plus, not only she was cornering him right now, but also challenging his power, his position as Alpha… in his home, in front of his packmates.

Still, she needed to talk to him and she refused to spend another day away from him without explaining herself.

They needed to meet at a middle point, though.

"I'm sorry, Kouga" She said at first, but he didn't even flinch. Attack mode still on. "I know you don't want to talk to me or listen to me or even have me near you right now" She said. "And you're absolutely right to feel that way. It's not fair for me to force you to talk right now, I don't wanna force you if you don't want to" It was only then when Kouga blinked at her, probably believing she was gonna accept and turn back to where she came from. "But I can't go back. I can't stay away from you without me saying what I need to say. Without you listening to me" She continued, her voice wavering while her eyes got teary. "I will stay here" She stated, watching as Kouga clenched his jaw at this. "I will stay here, waiting as long as I have to. Weeks, months, years, whatever. I'll wait here until you're ready to hear me talk." Kouga frowned even deeper to her now, and she felt Ginta and Hakkaku's eyes looking at her disbelievingly. "I won't bother you, I promise. I'll help you, help with the war. I'll earn my keep, or whatever you need. But, I can't go back. I can't go back, I'm sorry"

She didn't know if Kouga understood what she was saying or not. She didn't know if he understood the real necessity she had to stay -to stay with him- at least until they talked.

However, she did know that he understood the fact that she was going to fight -and most likely win- if they tried to remove her from this mountains.

It felt like time was passing agonizingly slow as she waited for a reaction coming from him, but Kouga didn't even flinch for the longest time, until he turned to his betas once again.

"She's your problem" He said at first "You'll deal with her. You'll find her something to do, where she'll be staying, what she'll be eating" Kagome couldn't help but feel completely bothersome and unwanted. The scene looked like a father talking to his children about a stray puppy he didn't want. "I don't want to be bothered by this not even once." He said the last part looking pointedly at her, to then turn to his betas once again. "I trust I'm being crystal clear this time" He finally said, nearly growling at the end.

"Y-Yes, Kouga!" Ginta and Hakkaku stuttered out.

One last menacing look was all it took for them to start to dragging Kagome out of the den they were currently in. Here only choice being to accept being dragged by them while looking at Kouga until they finally left the den.

The look Kouga gave her as she exited the den was one she never in a million years expected to ever get from him, and one she prayed she never have to see again being directed at her.

She swallowed the need to cry and she directed her focus at both wolf demons walking her through the maze of dens.

She wondered how anyone could find their way in this mountains.

'Scent, for starters. Plus, they lived here their entire lives, probably.' her mind instantly supplied, as she started to get nervous as to how she was supposed to survive in here in the first place if she couldn't even find her way through the tunnels. Sure, she could find her way to Kouga, just as easily as she could breathe. His aura so present and intense, constantly luring her towards it now that they were so close. But, she figured that Kouga would rather have his eyes clawed out than having her near, at least at the moment. He needed time and she understood, so keeping out of his way for now was for the best.

Ginta and Hakkaku stopped suddenly, in front of another door/curtain fur pelt hanging in front of what seemed a small den.

"Here, this should suffice" Ginta said, moving the pelt out of the way for them to go in.

When the three of them were inside the pitch black den, Kagome felt Hakkaku move towards one of the edges, and she hear her grab what she thought were rocks, before hearing how he friction them to create fire, and then light a large wax candle that was sitting in a carved hole in the right wall of the den.

The small place light up instantly, warm orange light washing over it.

Kagome instantly turned to observe the room they where in. It was small, just like she thought when she was at the entrance, maybe even a bit smaller than her room back home and definitely smaller than the hut she had back in Kaede's village.

She could see there were two more carved wholes with candles, one in the left cavern wall and once behind the makeshift bed (considerably large for the room, actually) made of a base of straws and topped with a thin fur pelt that she couldn't identify from what it was made. A tiny make-shift rock table besides the bed, some leftover-burnt out firewood in a corner that she supposed was a spot for a fireplace during winter, and that was pretty much it.

Not that she complained at all, it was actually a lot more than she expected.

"Didn't wolves sleep in packs?" Her thoughts came out of her mouth.

They both look at her a little bit surprised, probably not expecting such knowledge.

"Unmated wolves sleep together" Hakkaku clarified "There are two larger dens, for unmated males and females"

"Yeah, when a couple mates, though, we have several of these smaller dens available for them" Ginta added.

"Oh!" Kagome said, kind of embarrassed. "You shouldn't be giving this to me, then! I can sleep with the rest of the unmated girls!" Kagome assured.

Even if she would definitely be nervous and uncomfortable sleeping with a bunch of stranger girls that surely hated her, she didn't want to take any advantage of anything in any way that might bother Kouga.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Ginta quickly assured with an easy smile. "You'll be much comfortable here! Plus, much safer as well!"

Kagome's eyes widened at the last statement. What the heck does that meant? Was she in actual danger in here? Could some of Kouga's wolves actually hurt her? She knew that they were angry at her and what she did, but Kouga was letting her stay here. Surely they wouldn't attack her, right?

Hakkaku, instantly noting the look in her eyes, elbowed Ginta.

"It's not what you're thinking!" He was quick to say. "He meant because of the war. Things are really rushed this days, and while some of the females help with the injured and with the den, there are some that go to fight, too. You wouldn't be able to rest properly there. Also, this den is much, much deeper in the mountain than the ones for the unmated, because normally mated couples also have their cubs with them, so unmated wolves can protect them if there's an attack or something"

Kagome nodded in understanding at his explanation. It made sense. Still…

"I still don't want to use a potential couple's den just because!" She explained. They both laughed quietly at this.

"There won't be any potential couples anytime soon, with the war going on and stuff. Newly mated couples are real unstable, no one won't risk it right now" Hakkaku said. "Plus, we have so many of this smaller dens, we're always building more of them"

"Yeah, don't worry, sis!" Ginta said with a warm smile, and it took him about to seconds to realize what he said. "I mean Kagome!"

Kagome smiled at him, half softened by the fact that the 'nickname' just came out of him so easily, and half saddened at how he was always correcting himself after using it.

Ginta noticed her smile, and couldn't help but smile a bit sadly as well.

"Old habits die hard, I guess" He said. Kagome only smiled wider.

"You don't have to stop calling me sister, you know" She said, pleading in her mind.

Both wolf demons shared a look, to then turn to her defeated.

"It's not really our choice" Hakkaku said, without needing to explain any further.

Kagome felt something pierce through her heart for the millionth time in the day. Part of her wanted to know everything Kouga has ordered his wolves to do or not to do in regards of her, but it'd only help in hurting her even more. So, she decided to change the subject instead.

She briefly wondered if she was wasting their time or not, but quickly chose to ignore that wonder. It's been three years and a hell of a day, a little catch up wouldn't hurt them that much, right?

"So" Kagome said. "There's a war going on… for three years"

"Yeah, demon wars usually don't last very long. We thought it would be over in a year or so but then the Western tribe decided to join in just when we were about to win, so…" Ginta said.

"It's it okay if I ask why is there a wolf demon war in the first place?" Kagome asked.

"Yeah, yeah. There's no problem. I mean, now that you will be staying here and stuff I don't see one at least" Hakkaku shrugged. "There's no 'a' reason, I guess. I mean, it definitely has to do with Kouga's ruling over the Eastern tribe, but there are several complaints you can say"

"Complaints?" Kagome asked a little bit perplexed. Sure, she never gave too much thought into Kouga's rule over his tribe, at least not into the details. But, she always thought he was an exceptional leader, even back when she first met him. It was just the way his people looked up to him. There was so much admiration and even devotion in his pack's eyes. Also the fact like he was so young (she didn't acknowledge this back then, but know she learned how to read demon's ages). To be such a young demon and have such numerous and not to mention devoted followers it surely meant something.

"Yeah, Kouga was getting too powerful in the eyes of certain wolf tribes" Ginta explained.

'Ah' that made much more sense.

"We grew so much in numbers in such a short amount of time once we defeated Naraku, they got scared. Even more so because in some other regions fertility is definitely not the same." Hakkaku added.

"Yeah, also the fact that Kouga started training us scared them. They wondered if it was because we wanted to overtake them, but it just was because Kouga suffered a lot when so many of our packmates got killed by Naraku, he just didn't want to go through the same thing ever again" Ginta said.

"And also the fact that he's so young, gaining all this power" Hakkaku added.

"Yeah, I suppose I'd be jealous too" Kagome said, earning a light chuckle from both of them. "You said that the Western tribe decided to join later… So, it was the Northern one that declared war first?"

They both seemed to get suspiciously nervous at that question.

Kagome eyed them carefully.

"Uh… yeah, they did" Ginta said, rubbing the back of his head rather nervously.

"Why, though? I mean, I guess they were worried about your growing power but why don't just settle for a treaty or something? Or make sure you weren't trying to overtake them before attacking?" Kagome pressed on. There was something going on here, but she just couldn't figure out what. She doubted Kouga was indeed trying to overtake every other tribe, and she also doubted he wasn't open for treaties or agreements.

"Well… we kinda uhm-" Hakkaku tried to say.

"Offended them?" Ginta supplied.

"Offended them?" Kagome parroted. "How so?"

"Well, uh… remember how I told you there were in fact several complaints about Kouga's Alpha position?" Ginta said and Kagome just nodded. "Well, it's very unheard of and unusual for an Alpha to be leading so many years without a uhm… mate"

Kagome blushed crimson at this. 'Oh, my god, please no'

It was already a big fucking deal that she rejected him and every single soul of his pack seemed to know and take offence at it, but the fact that a war (a freaking war!) might have happened because of it?!

She closed her eyes and tried to avoid hearing the inevitable truth.

"So, when he couldn't well…. Have you" Hakkaku said.

"The Northern Alpha offered his granddaughter to be Kouga's mate and the Eastern tribe's Alpha female, and Kouga obviously rejected her" Ginta continued explaining.

"Duh" Hakkaku said.

"So, of course, the rejection was taken as a great offence by the Northern tribe. I mean, it was the very best the North could offer, after all. She's gorgeous, and strong, not to mention the granddaughter of an Alpha" Ginta continued as he cited all these good qualities this girl had, making Kagome feel a sour taste in her mouth. "And she also wanted to be with Kouga…"

Kagome couldn't help but frown, and that only added to her surprise.

It's been so long since she has felt pure, raw jealousy… and a jealousy that was her own. Fiery, raged, hot.

She was caught up in the feeling for a moment… until she realized something.

"Wait a minute" She said. "Pretty, strong girl from the North who's grandfather is an Alpha" She cited, the truth dawning down on her. "You can't be talking about…" She trailed off.

"Ayame" Hakkaku finished for her.

It was as if she summoned the iciest water from far North to then wash over her like a bucket of cold water.

How?

It felt as if she just remembered something long forgotten.

She suddenly remembered the wolf demoness existence.

How could she ever have forgotten her?

She was honestly amazed.

All these years dealing with nothing but wolf demon ghosts and she forgotten a very important one… and while she was still surprised about that fact, her curiosity about something else quickly overtook her.

"Why did he reject her?" she asked, and the question seemed to boom throughout every single inch of the dens.

Both demons in front of her looked at her like she was just insane.

"I mean" Kagome quickly said, trying to explain herself better "After everything…" She continued, trusting they would understand what she meant without needing much explanation "Why not Ayame?" She truthfully wondered. "I mean, she's just like you said… Gorgeous, strong, perfect to lead by his side" She cited, feeling jealousy grow within her again. "Why not take her as a mate?"

"What do you mean why?" Ginta asked half chuckling, wondering if it was a legit question. "He can't"

"He can't because he doesn't like her…?" Kagome questioned again, not really getting what was so obvious about the question. "Or because he doesn't want a treaty with the North tribe-" Hakkaku interrupted her before she even had a chance to finish.

"No, because he literally can't" Hakkaku said looking at her rather startled.

"What do you mean he literally can't?" Kagome was starting to get a little irritated at them. They were looking at her like she was stupid or living after a rock till yesterday.

"Wolves can't mate with someone else other than their intended" Ginta finally said, as if it was so obvious "That's unless their intended mate dies"

Kagome was shook to her core.

She knew some of demon mating ways, and also some of demon law and stuff. Mostly because Sango taught her throughout this years and because not only she was a priestess, but a miko, so she had to know.

She never heard something like this, though… and considering the fact that her 'mate' was currently with another it just didn't make any sense.

"So, that means that…" Kagome trailed off in a whisper, still shook.

"Kouga can't mate anyone but you" Hakkaku said. "At least until you, you know… die"

"How come you didn't know this?" Ginta asked. "I mean, I know you're human and stuff… but you're mated to a hanyou, right?"

Kagome flinched at that, but didn't respond.

"Also you have that demon slayer friend… I'm sure she knows this stuff!" Hakkaku added.

"I- She did, but-" Kagome stuttered out. "I'm pretty sure it's not like that!" She said a little louder than intended, nearly shouting. They didn't seem to notice it, though.

"What do you mean?" Ginta asked.

"I know for a fact that demons can take another mate" She simply said, jaw tensed.

"Well, yeah, of course! Demons can, but wolves? Never!" Hakkaku said, again as if it was just obvious.

"Wolves mate for life!" Ginta added, and Kagome felt a shiver run all over her body, remembering one of the first things Kouga said to her when they met. When he claimed her his woman.

The warmth that spread inside her turned sour soon, when another thought crossed her mind.

"So, basically, Kouga's waiting for me to die to take another mate?" She said icily.

Both of them looked at her completely horrified.

"N-No! That's not it at all, sis!" Ginta exclaimed, too horrified to notice the slip up of the nickname.

"It's not like it's a death sentence or something! Or like he's being forced to love you or to be with you!" Hakkaku exclaimed as well.

"He wants you. Just you. He can't possibly want any other woman while you're around" Ginta continued, making Kagome blush.

"When a wolf finds their intended mate, they're all they see" Hakkaku added.

"I mean, they can be intimate with someone else if they're not mated yet. But, regarding romantic feelings and mating? It's just impossible." Ginta said.

"Whether Ayame is attractive or not or perfect for him, Kouga could just never mate her" Hakkaku said. "It's almost as if the sole idea of mating someone other than your intended is repulsive"

"That's why wolf demons, while territorial, are not really jealous around their own kind regarding their mates" Ginta said. "Once you're already mated or in courtship process, affairs and such are just unheard of. We might be possessive when they're other demons around but between our kind? Never"

"And normally, once you find your intended mate the courtship process instantly begins" Hakkaku added.

"Look, I don't wanna sound unsensitive or anythin' but… while Kouga might have sex with other females right now, it's pretty much out of male needs" Ginta said, looking half regretful about letting her know that. Kagome just looked at the ground at the revelation. "He could never even consider any romantic involvement with anyone else. The feeling you have towards your intended mate is just incomparable to anything else you could even imagine"

Kagome stayed silent for a few moments, and they just waited for her to digest everything they said as they turned on the rest of the candles in the room.

It was unbelievable, in part. She would have never guessed.

Kouga could just never love anyone else, or even consider anyone else while she was around.

It was probably why he also was so angry at her right now. Not only she rejected him, but she quite literally felt him tied handed. There was just no other choice for him, not second chances or 'more fish in the sea' as the modern saying says.

It must have been horribly tortuous for him… The thought of never being able to be with anyone else at least for several decades (she hoped).

Then, another thought crossed her mind, making her instantly frown in confusion.

"Wait" She said, making both wolf demons turn to her again. "You said wolf demons can only mate or have romantic feelings towards their intended mate" She started, and they both nodded for her to continue "So, is Ayame's intended dead or something? How come she loves Kouga when she's clearly not his intended" She couldn't help but say 'clearly' with a little more emphasis than the rest of the words.

"Well, not exactly" Hakkaku said "Ayame's intended is indeed alive. He's the one in charge of the Northern armies"

"And she still loves Kouga?" Kagome asked but neither of them replied, and that was the only answer she needed. "How?"

Ginta sighed as he rubbed the back of his head again, looking a bit frustrated and struggling with his thoughts.

"Well, Ayame's situation is a bit weird" Ginta started "We think she's just in denial… and we blame Kouga for this as well"

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked.

"Well, Ayame was just so young, even for a demon, when Kouga made that stupid promise to her" Ginta explained. "He told us he made that promise expecting for her not only to forget it, but to understand the wolf demon mating process once she grew up" He excused his Alpha "Of course, you probably already know that didn't happen…"

"We think it's because she basically grew thinking about that stupid promise" Hakkaku cleared out.

"We also think that once she actually gives in at least just a bit into her intended mate, she'll realize there's simply no way she and Kouga could ever be together" Ginta added. "She's so obviously trying to maintain her distance from her intended, because deep down she knows"

"In other words: she's being a spoiled brat" Hakkaku simply said and Kagome mentally grinned at this.

"Still" Ginta said "Another thing that's keeping Ayame so insistent in this is that Kouga's case is a little bit unusual as well"

"What does that mean?" Kagome asked him.

"Well, while is not completely unheard of that a wolf demon's intended is human. It happened before, but just a couple of times and probably millenniums ago. But, it's still pretty unusual" Ginta explained. "Not to mention that it's an Alpha we're talking about… and the youngest and strongest one ever heard of"

"Not only that but, the fact that he was uhm- rejected" Hakkaku added.

"Most of the northerns think that, given the circumstances of both, Kouga's and Ayame's situation, it could be possible for them to mate" Ginta finally finished.

"… I see" Kagome said, finally seeing the bigger picture, and finally understanding why the Northern tribe was so offended and why they declared war.

Kouga was, quite possibly, the best wolf demon Alpha to ever be. He was young, strong, smart and with crazy leadership skills. He had the biggest, strongest tribe, that would likely only grew in numbers and in strength in the future.

… And, he has a human for intended mate, that rejected him.

Then there was Ayame, apparently the only wolf demon to ever manage to resist from falling for her own intended mate. Ayame, who has been obsessed with Kouga since she was a little girl.

Finally, there was the fact that the potential mating between the two would benefit two large, important wolf tribes… And Kouga rejected all that.

He rejected the girl (quite honestly, probably the very best the North had to offer, as Ginta said), he rejected the power, he rejected peace.

Quite possibly just because of what Kagome did.

Both wolves noticed the change in her feelings and what this new knowledge was doing to her, but said nothing to soothe it. It was something she needed to know, sooner rather than later, and even more so now that she was staying here, where she would experience in the flesh the effects of the war.

They shared a look, another perk of being in a wolf demon pack, it almost was as if they could read eachother's mind.

It would probably be painful, and make her uncomfortable, but they needed to know.

"So, now that you know all of these, I hope you don't mind if we ask you something as well" Hakkaku started.

That hat seemed to have snap Kagome off her thoughts, as she blinked to then look at them, with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Sure, what is it?"

They both shared a look again, and while they were nervous as fuck, there was no way they'd live another day with the curiosity.

"Why there's not a single trace of InuYasha on you?" Ginta finally asked.

A.N.:

GOSH, FINALLY! HOW LONG WAS THIS CHAPTER, HONESTLY?!

Hey you guys! It's been a while, but here I am again, quarantine stuck in home, with lots of time and wanting to update my fics!

Idk what to say rn, except that I hope you're staying safe and in home. I hope all of you are healthy, and If you aren't I wish you a safe, quick recovery! Stay safe you guys, it's a difficult time for everyone rn!

Anyways, did you enjoy it? LET ME KNOW!

Till next time!

-Silvana.

[all-alone-he-turns-to-stone]

We don’t believe what’s on TV - Chapter 18

/ Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 /  Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17 / Chapter 19 /  Chapter 20…>>

Resume: I had an ordinary life, or that’s what I wanted to believe. I lost myself in the TV series that I listened to forget the normal boring life. What I didn’t know, however, was that my life would change completely overnight.

Finding myself in 2013 at Beacon Hills County.

This will be a Stiles x Reader but only further in the story

In this chapter: Revenge, anger and fear. I don’t want to be scared anymore. But why do I feel so angry?

Word count: 2837

A/N: ahhh sorry for the day late! I was so uncertain about this chapter, lost my motivation for a while but got it back, thanks to my friend and best beta reader @maddie110201 who cheered me up! (I don’t want to sound I don’t know… childish? But I would love to hear your thoughts about this chapter and the story overall, you don’t have too but it would give me more motivation to write the next chapter faster and make me really happy!)(and none of the gifs are mine)

“Are you sure you want to participate?” Scott worried as we headed for the next class once the plan had been perfectly organized and after the nurse examined me again. I was going to take a subscription to the infirmary if it went on, or people were going to think I was beaten.

“Absolutely sure. I can’t continue to be afraid. I don’t want to be afraid.” I confessed to him, my eyes sincere. "I don’t want to stay behind and whine. I may not have claws or fangs or superhuman strength, but I can surprise you. ”

Scott looked at me, intrigued and finally nodded. I knew he didn’t like me to be involved in the plan, but he wanted to give me a chance. And I promised to watch out and run as soon as something bad happens. I also had a plan on the defense level, someone well trained and human who could teach me when a break would arise in my busy life.

As we entered the classroom, Scott received a text message and smiled, showing me the picture on his cell phone, making me smile as well.

Everything was ready.

Deep inside me, I knew I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have encouraged this revenge, let alone participate in it, I should have concentrated on my mission and on the next victims, or at least on my classes. But definitely not on the best way to put alphas angry and putting my life in danger in all unimaginable ways. Being in danger of everything including myself.

But I only understood after.

Scott was sitting to the left of the twins as I went to their right, encircling them. The two brothers looked at us, surely very surprised to see a smile on our lips especially after everything they had done to us.

The class began and Jennifer started speaking. Ah, if only they knew the darach they were looking for was right in front of them, they wouldn’t be so proud.

“Okay, everyone. I know this is the last class of the day. To be honest, I want to get out of here too.”

“Looks kind of important.” Scott mumbled with a smile as he showed a piece of the twins’ motorcycle and I knew without seeing them they had wide eyes. I took advantage of it and continued.

“I have no idea what that thing does though,” I mumbled as I pulled out a piece of my bag, putting my wounded arm high up to show them it was our revenge.

Then a motorcycle sound echoed in the corridors outside. Aiden, the twin closest to me, frowned surely very angry. He stood up instantly to run out of class, under Jennifer’s confused look and his brother attempt to stop him. Scott and I exchanged a satisfied look, although I could detect anxiety in his eyes. Yes, he had agreed for me to join them, but if anything happened to me, he wouldn’t forgive himself. And I wouldn’t be able to participate in future plans.

When Jennifer came out of the class, intrigued by the sound of the vehicle, I knew the plan had worked. Scott and I followed her as the rest of the class and even the other classes of the corridor came out to watch what was going on. And everyone was able to admire Aiden with his motorcycle in the corridor, Isaac retreating among us as if nothing had happened. Allison finally joined us and Jennifer spoke as she moved forward, surely angry.

“You got to be kidding me. You realize this is gonna result in a suspension.”

I couldn’t help but turn back to Scott and Allison, a satisfied smile on my face, and then crossed Isaac’s gaze, very proud of our blow. Aiden stared at us and Ethan didn’t take long to do the same. I felt powerful and invincible, the feeling of victory and vengeance was magnificent and satisfying. I knew it was wrong, but I loved it.

“You become more and more a monster.”

My smile fell as I looked around, fear in the stomach. The voice, it was the voice. I hadn’t heard it since I’d gotten rid of my phone and had almost forgotten about it. A shiver of horror ran through my spine. It was there, with me, in my head and all around me.

“You become more and more like me.”

“Are you okay?” Scott asked, seeing me look everywhere and surely feeling my fear paralyzing my legs. No, not the voice, not this monster … I hadn’t spoken, I hadn’t even changed the events!

"I’m fine …” I lied as I avoided Scott’s look to place it everywhere but on him. “I’m fine. ”

“You’re too late.” The voice laughed in my skull. Again and again, giving me an invisible migraine. I stepped back under the worried looks of Scott, Allison and even Isaac who kept asking me what I had. And I kept telling them I was fine. I wasn’t sleeping and I hadn’t changed the future, how could the voice talk to me like that?

"Because you wanted revenge, you didn’t even think about changing the future.”

What did that mean? What future? The day ended, no one else was dead, there was nothing that …

I stopped stepping back, eyes full of water. Scott stood in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders to talk to me, but I couldn’t hear him. My ears were burning, buzzing with the music of sacrifices. That damn music I hated so much meaning someone had been taken away.

“No …” I mumbled to myself and started running without knowing where I was going. I knew that my feet would take me to the right place, even if I didn’t know the school in its entirety. Behind I could hear Scott following me and many students stared at me. No, I couldn’t have let myself sink so much into revenge that I forgot…

The doors opened slowly. The great music hall then faced me, empty of all but one person.

Lydia looked up when she saw me. She had the same expression as me, totally frightened at what she was doing. She was in front of the piano and I knew very well that the professor’s phone had recorded his murder.

“How …” She began. “Can you also hear it?”

I didn’t reply and backed away, totally demolished. I kept backing without worrying that Scott and anyone else was behind me.

“Y / N …? ”

“It’s too late …” I mumbled, turning to Scott to see that Isaac had followed him, but not Allison. “He was taken away.”

“I’m calling Stiles,” Lydia added while grabbing her cell phone.

“Who was taken?” Isaac asked.

“The music teacher,” I answered as I walked towards the desk near the piano, eyes unexpressed, still shocked. I opened two drawers before finding what I was looking for and handed the photograph to Lydia who was on the phone. “Give it to Stiles and he’ll understand,” I said, still feeling the world turning under my feet. If the music teacher had been abducted, I knew who was next. And even if I didn’t really like him, even if I had told myself that I wasn’t going to save him, I couldn’t stay without doing anything. So I walked out of the classroom without saying a word with an expressionless face and shudders of apprehension running through my body.

“Y / N!” Scott called, following me close. "Where are you going?”

“I know who’s next,” I mumbled, knowing full well the voice was watching for each of my words in expectation and pleasure to make me suffer. So I didn’t mention the name of the next victim. With luck, Scott was going to understand by himself. “He’s in the classroom … oh for God sake! ”

I stopped in the middle of the corridor, which was fortunately empty. Yet the classes weren’t yet finished. Where were all the students in this school? No, but seriously? No one ever sees the supernatural beings that are constantly fighting in the corridors? Or the two twins who were blocking our way with a ferocious expression of vengeance?

I didn’t have time, we didn’t have time to take care of two frustrated werewolves. Although I was ahead of the episode because Mr. Harris wasn’t going to be taken until Stiles and Deaton would arrive, I couldn’t afford it. I was already too late.

And before us the twins pulled out their sweaters and … began to merge. It was so unrealistic, disgusting and horribly frightening that I remained paralyzed, wide-eyed. It had to be seen to believe it, on television it was nothing, but in truth it was totally horrible.

“Y / N … run.” Scott mumbled as Isaac rolled up his sleeves.

"We can take them. ”

“Are you kidding?” Scott answered by turning and forcing me to run in the opposite direction. But we didn’t go far as the fused wolf grabbed Isaac and Scott by the neck and hit them one against the other to throw them on the ground. I took the opportunity to hide behind the wall at the end of the corridor, not far from where Scott and Isaac were, these two begging me to leave with their gaze, especially Scott. But I couldn’t leave knowing they could be hurt or worse, killed.

Then a barely audible sound echoed through the empty corridor. The sound of a cane looking for obstacles.

Deucalion had arrived. And all I could do was look, hidden and frightened. I saw the two twins parting and being punished for their childish comportment. Then, without saying anything and hiding the dagger that his cane was sheltering at its end, Deucalion began to advance with the twins… toward me. All my senses were on alert and I exchanged a scared look with Scott. He was going to see me.

But Deucalion passed in front of me without looking. The twins gave me a look that didn’t reassure me and as I thought I was safe, the voice of the demon wolf echoed in the corridor. I didn’t turn to look at him and I only listened with horror.

"We’ll meet again, Y / N …”

A new shudder of fear ran through my back as I got up to run to Scott and Isaac, adrenaline stronger than fear, making me move forward. A mixture of emotions sheltered me, fear and anger in priority.

“No time to discuss, we have to go before it’s too late.” I said to them, still frightened at what I had just seen. Deucalion knew my name, it wasn’t good.

By the time I went to class, I knew it was too late. If the twins hadn’t attacked us, I could have arrived in time. On the other hand, I didn’t expect to arrive at that time.

My hand landed on the door handle of the classroom where Mr. Harris should be correcting his copies, but the door didn’t want to open. Something was blocking it. But when I looked up to look in the small window it was to see a dark silhouette near the chemistry professor. The back of a silhouette I could recognize between thousands taking Mr. Harris by force to abduct him. And all I could do was knock on the door screaming as hard as I could and a few seconds after the door shattered under Scott’s kick. I rushed into the classroom only to see the darach’s silhouette escape through the window and the rain began to drum on the pane.

"What was that?” Scott asked but I couldn’t answer. I knocked on the desk, closing my eyes, very angry. I just wanted to hit someone. No, kill someone.

"That’s it. Let go of your anger. Let it consume you and become like me. ”

I only groaned more when I heard it. The voice taunted me and amplified my anger. I seriously wanted to strangle someone. My breathing accelerated and stuck in my throat. My fist clenched so hard it hurt, but I didn’t worry about the pain. Before my eyes, the last warrior victim had just been taken away.

And I wasn’t the only one to have seen the darach. Scott and Isaac also saw it. Something that wasn’t happening in the show.

“Is this the thing that takes away people?” Isaac asked but I didn’t turn to him. My anger was still bubbling in me and before I said anything or made a gesture that I might regret, I preferred to stay silent. I bit my lip to the blood, telling myself to calm down, but nothing worked. If I had been a werewolf, I would have exploded and attack everything that was moving. Note to myself: never become a werewolf.

“Y / N?” Scott asked as he approached, but it wasn’t the time. I still couldn’t calm down. My hands tightened the desk and I bit my lip even more, feeling the metallic taste of blood flowing into my mouth.

"What are you doing here?” A familiar but still unknown voice came behind us and I turned to see Deaton, followed by Lydia and Stiles.

I don’t know what happened, but when I saw Stiles, my whole body relaxed. I forgot the voice and the darach just long enough for my heartbeat to calm down. His intrigued eyes landed on me and I saw immediately that he understood. He moved towards me and my legs became weak.

"You tried,” he said, taking me in his arms. He didn’t need to ask what happened. He didn’t need to tell me anything more, his simple gesture finished calming me down and I huddled up against his chest, putting my face against his neck to smell his soothing scent, my breathing now normal. I appreciated not having to explain myself, to be understood immediately and above all to be believed.

“Can someone explain to me what just happened?” Isaac asked again, rolling his eyes as he saw me in Stiles’ arms. My cheeks immediately tinged with red. In front of everyone, Stiles had taken me in his arms.

I had to repeat it several times in my head to believe it.

“Mr. Harris was the last warrior victim of the three,” Stiles began. “When I arrived, Lydia gave me the picture and I immediately understood, she made the connection with Harris and we arrived. Too late, like you.” He finished by letting go of me gently. However he left his hand on my arm. I snorted a little while raising my head towards him and my heart missed a beat.

Damn I really loved him.

"Not too late,” Isaac added.

“What?” Deaton stepped forward. "You saw it?”

“Only its back and very fast, but Y / N seems to have been luckier than us.” Scott joined the conversation.

"Then he really was taken …” Lydia mumbled, shuddering. “But by whom or what?”  

“Y / N?” Stiles called. I hadn’t looked away. I knew what he wanted without needing to say it and walked around the desk, leaving the warmth that his hand on my arm brought to look at the corrected exam copies that were scattered on the desk. I didn’t have to talk, only to place the copies in the right order. It wasn’t a revelation and I hoped the pain wouldn’t return. However, when my fingers touched the sheets, an unpleasant shudder made me pull my hand away. I wasn’t going to be able to do it, the voice, this thing that almost made me crazy with anger, spied on me and like a hungry wolf in front of meat, was ready to jump at my throat at any moment.

"You must …” I pointed the sheets mechanically rubbing my hand with my other. Stiles understood and came close to me, followed by Deaton.

“This test is graded R.” Stiles commented and Lydia approached us as Scott and Isaac looked across the desk.

“This one’s an H …” Lydia added and Deaton placed the sheets in the right order.

“Stiles, you remember I told you druid is the Gaelic word for wise oak”?

"Yeah, of course.”

“If a druid went down the wrong path, the wise oak was sometimes said to have become a dark oak. There’s a Gaelic word for that as well. Darach.”

Finally. They knew about the darach. It was a relief. I hadn’t managed to save any of the victims yet, but if nothing ever worked, I had a plan B in reserve. Okay, it was dangerous, probably deadly and potentially crazy, but if I couldn’t save the victims, I would have to tackle the source.

Jennifer Blake.

And what is better than directly attacking the enemy? Put its enemies on his trail as well.

In the next chapter: It’s the week end! And I know what it means, responsibilities I forgot, details I didn’t think about and Scott wanting to talk with Deucalion.

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