#i should make some kind of introductions to these guys if only to myself

[thatlittledandere]

Okay, so this is late (again), but for the "Not So Nice" OC Asks: how about 4, 13, 21, 25, 36, and 42 for Keiichi, Shiro, and/or Minta (or whoever you feel like talking about)~ ^^

[EDIT: FUCK ok I scrolled to the bottom of my drafts and this has been buried in there for SEVEN YEARS. And I see some things have changed since then so I’m just. Gonna release this into the wild as-is. No edits past these brackets not even in tags. wOW. Vintage.]

ok this is gonna be LONG so here’s a cut (and here’s the meme)

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

(I’m treating this as a “biggest fear” question I couldn’t tell the difference)

Keiichi: Being abandoned by the people who mean the most to him

Shiro: His loved ones getting hurt and 

Minta: Being seen as weak

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

Keiichi:

Shiro: Many would say lust because of his skirt-chasing reputation but really it’s pretty far away from the truth

Minta: Pride. She wants to feel be seen as strong, powerful, independent and mature so she won’t ask for help or show vulnerability very easily or to very many.

21. What is something that causes them great anxiety?

Keiichi: At the point on the timeline I’m imagining here Keiichi’s biggest anxiety is being outed as gay. It’ll be fine eventually, I promise. He’ll have more reason to anxiety later on and oh boy those things are the things I feast on.

Shiro: He’s afraid he’s generally an unlikable person and Keiichi and Minta are just so used to him that they’ve learnt to tolerate him.

Minta:

25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust?

Keiichi: Oh, honey, he doesn’t trust like that. Keiichi trusts three (3) people in his life: Shiro, Minta and his mom. Amd they have all earned his trust fair and square and that isn’t the kind of hurt I’m planning on

Shiro: Oh sweetie YES. I mean he doesn’t look at it that way but I do and I am God so ye. What Shitzuko pulled was definitely betrayal, whatever it was that she pulled.

Minta: Also yes. Her ex boyfriend (or… future or current one… listen I operate on at least four points on the timeline simultaneously) was a fuckboy and deserved to go after his lil stunt.

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?

Keiichi: At least he thinks he’s got them on check. And I don’t enough about emotions to dispute it.

Shiro: Shiro is a man of emotion.

Minta:

42. Are they comfortable with where they are in life?

Keiichi: He tries to convince himself he is

Shiro: Mostly yeah! He’d like a girlfriend and would love it if he didn’t need to worry for Keiichi so much (he doesn’t need to he just doesn’t understand the concept of introverts) but mostly he doesn’t have anything to complain about. A sunshine child

Minta: She’s got her own demons too but doesn’t acknowledge them even to the the extent Keiichi does;;

Thinking of answers I noticed Minta really doesn’t have a lot going on for her… I gotta work on that. She used to be my favorite to draw (and I guess she still is) but golly did she lose in personality what she gained in attention.

[zivazivc]

What kind of nu metal music fits Les's band?

First of all I gotta clarify that I sent this ask myself because I accidentally lost the original through constant editing and drafting. I realize I could just make a regular text post but I'm quirky like that, and a question is a nice little attention grabber for those who are interested.

Anyway...

It's hard to point at one song and say this is their sound, because A: I'm picky, B: the band's style changes over time, and C: I don't know what I'm doing lmao

This answer is very long uhh I don't seem to be able to form short responses, mi scusi 😅

Back at home the brothers' music and then also the first year on the road with Flea the band sounds like the albums Music and especially Grassroots by 311. (Grassroots is such a banger of an album, I listen to it all the time, really recommend.)

Hed's the main influence on the band's sound because he's the main vocalist, songwriter and overall the most invested in the band succeeding (Les's main concern is making ends meet, and Flea is just enjoying the ride lol). At the start Hed and Les have had basically no contact with Rock Trolls so even though they're both more metal/punk than regular rock, their "rock side" is softer at this point. Hed also grew up with hip hop because of his peers so there's a lot of rapping in his lyrics. And he also incorporates reggae into his style a lot because of his favorite uncle, Kymani (one of the guys who live with Ish) who is a Reggae Troll. Hed is pretty much a sponge when it comes to music, much like Floyd. The closest I can come to describing his genre is a fusion of Rap Metal and Reggae Rock which are both already fusion genres jskksdjsk

(The band 311 has two singers and oddly they both sound like Hed and Les to me. SA Martinez (the higher of the two voices) sounds 100%, exactly like how I've imagined Hed's voice in my head. For Les I have a different voice claim because Les's personal style of music is much different from the band, but Nick Hexum (the lead vocalist here) is still in the second place when it comes to voice alone. Imagine my enthusiastic surprise finding voices for both brothers in the same band 😄)

examples from the two albums:

...

While driving around and performing small gigs they come in contact with the alternative and nu metal scene and meet a lot of Rock Trolls (mostly various Metal Trolls) and other mixed trolls, and in the following couple of years their sound gradually becomes heavier (Hed rediscovers screamo lol) and they go from rock to metal.

A year into their "touring" is also around the time Hed meets and starts dating Liv and gets her to join the band. Liv's genre has the heaviest sound of all of them (Industrial/EBM), which influences Hed and the band too. And with Liv on the drums, Hed takes over DJ-ing and is also able to put more focus on the vocals, which also makes Les step down and only sing backing vocals with the rest of the band if needed.

The band in this era sounds like the album Revolution by Insolence and to some degree Introduction to Mayhem by Primer 55.

examples from the albums:

...

Two years into the bands existence is when Floyd runs into them. At first he's more just standing there, observing their practices and performances warily, because he's had bad experiences with Rock Trolls in his one year alone and metal music still kinda freaks him out at this point. But he soon starts joining in in melodic parts and then it progresses into him singing longer and longer segments because he has the strongest vocals of everyone. And once he saves enough of his earnings for a guitar he starts playing the rhythm guitar too. (The guitar he took with him when he left the Troll Tree got stolen before he met the band.)

I guess I should clarify: Flea is the lead guitarist, Les is the bassist, and Liv and Hed switch on the drums and DJ-ing depending on the track. At one point they also get a keyboard.

It's also not that long before Hed and Floyd start actively writing songs together, sharing each others notes, and they start to split the singing parts more evenly. Hed even teaches Floyd screamo techniques, because he thinks Floyd has a great voice for them (He is correct, Floyd has a mean scream 😁).

During this time the band still pretty much sounds like Revolution by Insolence but with more melodic singing parts from Floyd (and screaming/shouting lmao). I think Verge of Umbra is another good band to compare, it sounds more clean and Floydy but still Hedy. (Man, I should write scientific research papers skjdkjf)

↑↑↑ song with the lyrics from the drawing at the top

From here on out I'm a bit unsure how the band's sound develops, but I'm pretty sure Floyd would unintentionally infect them with a mild case of radio friendliness (Pop trolls can't help their in your face nature lmao 😞). So for now I'm stopping here...

This took me days of searching and writing so I would appreciate to hear any thoughts you have if you've come this far and given some of the songs a listen. :)

[bendyartistic]

Be Aware of alexbstudios. (Part 2) TW: uh.. slur, sui mention.

Recently I've been requested by some people to make another awareness post about Alex, and what has been going on since I made my last callout. So.. let's take a look. I'm gonna be honest I have been paying little to no attention to him at all since my post up until this point, didn't think I'd have to.

Ever since I made it, Alex has been talking about me a lot more, and it feels much more obsessive in a way. I think it's funny but also pretty weird considering some of the things he's said about me. Eugh.

Anyways let's get to the stuff from after my callout to the present. This is just a rundown of everything, and there is some stuff I skipped since I didn't feel it was worth mentioning. Once my post had been made, a lot of people went over and said stuff to him (Though I didn't encourage that behavior, I only wanted to make my post so people knew about him, I'm not covering those unless it's important in this.) Little afterwards he made this... post. Erh, are you stalking me and other people?? ALSO don't say the r slur man, like what.

I find it really creepy that he has this list, and has notes along with them about why/who they are. Also why'd he spell my partners name like that? 💀 Next a little after that he reblogged someone's art and introduction saying this. (I don't want to really @ people in this, nor get anyone involved unless they asked to be.)

I still don't understand how Alex views me, but saying this in a reblog no less is so strange. Reblogging another post, saying this with it...

You're right Alex, I didn't need you in my life, yet here we are. Unfortunately. Besides that, no, 12 year old's should NOT be on Tumblr at all, even with restrictions, said restriction should be having the app blocked from their device.

I'm just gonna.. move on from that. Alex reblogged an art post, where he proceeded to @ over 50 people, myself included, saying "surely you can see the problem". I can't fit the entire thing sadly. I don't get what the point in these posts are honestly, besides annoy everyone. He's done it before as well. He got into a small bit of beef with a handful of folk not too long ago, which I got @'ed in at some point I think, didn't really pay much attention to it. Basically the original post is someone talking about art supplies and asking what one's other people use, which I personally think was a very neat post. Alex comes around though for some reason going off on nonsense. Hello? Who invited you!? (Again, censoring names cuz I don't want to get ppl involved.)

I'm honestly kind of wondering why he even showed up. He pretty soon after made this dumb post as if it could have some effect on the situation.. uh?

I guess mark your calendars guys for this date, where we have to immediately forget everything and forgive him! /j And there's this response he gave to an anon responding to his ✨patience✨ post.

Dunno, so far it hasn't because he's still talking about it, so clearly he hasn't gotten over it enough to let it blow over.

He's giving me those like.. stupid sigma edit vibes sometimes. Y'know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Also I'm not sure what to say about this really, but it's pretty funny.

Context for this next one: You and the person on your lockscreen fight god..? That's a weird one.

Wdym racist though? 🤨 Genuinely kinda curious about that. Btw wouldn't that make you like.. 9?? On a different note, I saw him previously talk about this "friend" he has going to a mental hospital, but I know nothing about it, nor do I really want to, however reblogging on an art post saying this feels off. Think the emotes are what do it.

Don't joke about mental hospitals at all, I shouldn't have to explain why. I'm going to move on from all the short stuff now because I do wanna start talking instead of making short joking comments.

Alex made this post, and so it begins with him talking about me again, eh?

Alex, you're already doomed. I can't put it any other way but from what I've seen maybe only 1 or 2 people even like you. The rest either hate you or want to avoid you at all cost, and I don't blame them at all considering you act like a fool and make everyone uncomfortable.

For my thoughts on you? I don't like you, never did. I just have to put up with you because this is the internet, and you'll probably never truly leave me alone like I once hoped. It's a shame honestly that you cannot follow a simple request from anyone. Don't think I don't know about your planned "response post" you're making, I'm still waiting for it. I don't know what good it's gonna do you though. Personally I don't care if you make one, I'd just read it to see the stuff you make up in it lol. (Edit: He decided to stop working on it after seeing this post lol.)

Enough of my rambling, I should continue with this so I can stop talking about him sooner. Regrettably I had to actually look up what this was about, I felt.. iffy reading it.

Saying gyatt right afterwards wasn't funny. At all. I'm quite upset now. There was absolutely no reason for that.

I was gonna be reasonable and say something genuine but I don't feel like it anymore, this ruined my mood. All I have to say is as much as I dislike you, don't actually do that. Sadly moving to the next nonsensical thing, he made a poll post asking this. (It's still ongoing btw)

Are people like.. forced into giving a reason? Like if I for example chose Bendy, am I immediately supposed to state my reasons? What if I don't want to, are we being held at gunpoint? What's up with that? I'm too lazy to interact with the post, I don't really feel like it anyways even if I wasn't lazy. Which one would you choose though lol I'm going to be serious now again cause this last thing is really just.. what the fuck. Palestine related 🍉, someone asking for help came to Alex, and this was his response to it...

MY GOD Alex. Did you really have to respond to that in this immature, insensitive fucking manner? Could it have not been in one of your stupid rambling posts. It should've been. I'm sorry to the person and I'm sorry I had to read it. You're pretty sick honestly. You need help.

That's it. I'm done.

In conclusion:

Alex is still the same and is still never going to change probably. He still shouldn't be here and I believe he really should get off now more than ever. If not I fear what else he might do next.

All I can really tell you folks is please, DNI with Alex, just leave him alone and block him. You're again not obligated to, but I am suggesting it if you want to be left alone by him. And hey, maybe you'll make it onto his dumb creepy list too, who knows. Alright, I'm finished, I stayed up way too late for this... I'm tired. Cya.

Reblogs are much appreciated, it helps spread the word, thanks.

[creamedh0ney]

☀️Hey Sunshine ☀️

I thought I'd introduce myself! I wasn't sure how to make a nice looking introduction but I figure I'll just go for it and add if I need to!

First of all, you can call me Andy. My name changes sometimes in real life but Andy is a pretty safe, gender neutral one to use for me.

🌻Basics About Me🌻

Big Age: 17, but 18 in November!

Little Age: 1-6

Gender Identity: Genderfluid

Pronouns I use: she/he/they/it/xe (depends on the time, but use what you'd like)

Sexuality: Pansexual

Other Stuff: I am autistic, I have c-ptsd and chronic pain - Please be patient with me!

🪁Hobbies🪁

Drawing (with sidewalk chalk, chalk pastels, pencil, marker, crayon, anything really!)

Gardening (though I'm not good at it yet)

Biking

Volleyball (just for fun though, I'd rather not do anything competitively)

Baking

Writing (poetry, fantasy or romance stories, essays)

Reading (fantasy, romance, classics, poetry, fanfiction, science nonfiction)

Watching anime/animated TV shows

Shopping

Listening to music

🧸Interests/Things I Like🧸

Shows(some of these are not agere or sfw necessarily!): Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Banana Fish, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sesame Street, Owl House, Ouran High-school Host Club, Gravity Falls, Haikyu, Strawberry Shortcake, Wild Kratts, X-Men, Amazing Spiderman

Movies/Studios: Disney (specifically Tangled and other princess movies), Studio Ghibli, Tim Burton movies (specifically Coraline and Edward Scissorhands)

Toys/Toy Type Things: Dolls (porcelain or rag- not creepy ones or anything, just normal), Stuffed Animals, Calico Critters, Barbies, Littlest Pet Shops, Animal Figures (specifically schleich), Play Food, Play Dough, Lego

Games: Stardew Valley, Slime Rancher, Minecraft, Genshin Impact, Sims, Roblox (I like Fashion Famous and Royale High specifically), Animal Jam, Fall Guys, Star Stable, Pokémon (though I've only played it on other people's consoles)

Other:

Animals (of all kinds!! I adore any and all, but if you reallyyy wanna know specifics, I can yap for AGES!)

Clowns! I have been for a very long time, I adore them!

Anything pink or yellow! Those are my favorite colors ever!

Nostalgia is a very big theme in my interests, there's something so very special about it!

🎀BYF/Things You Should Know🎀

- I'm gonna be posting randomly, there's not really a set time. I may post a TON in a day, or I may not post for weeks. Please be patient and respectful of my time!

- I prefer cursing to a veryy very small amount. The occasional d-word or s-word is okay. I curse a lot outside of regression - which I'm working on - so I don't kind, but this is a safe space for me and many others. Please be respectful of that in your language choices.

- If I post something which is triggering to you and don't post a trigger warning, it is completely okay to let me know! Tell me to post a warning! Please! It doesn't harm me at all to edit and add a tw.

- Adding onto the one above, I may post something and come across as too blunt or may not word things correctly. Let. Me. Know. I want to know if I come across as rude or if my intention isn't clear. That's important to me.

🧼DNI🧼

Basic DNI (homophobes, racists, misogynists, etc.)

NSFW/K!nk

Accounts featuring g0re, S/H, e/d, and the like

Anti agere (obviously)/ Anti Furry / Anti Neopronouns (idk if there are terms for that, please let me know if there are, but you know what I mean for now!)

Basically, don't be a jerk! I want to be as friendly and welcoming as possible, but that means keeping this space safe, respectful and kind. This is my blog and that means upholding my rules. Thank you so much for understanding!!

( @kodaswrld made my dividers and icon!! Love it sm!!)

[mari-lair]

the recent chapter was decent, but when I realised akane wasn't the yoshiro after convincing myself he was for a month i had to close the tab stare at the ground and like. process for a few seconds. how i wish he had been... i did enjoy mirai trying to save his life though, and teru recognising that they hadn't been going to their full strength because maybe they didn't care about the yoshiro, because as you said, they had been presented at a higher level and we didn't see that in chapter 109

I always had doubts about him being the Yorishiro, with Akane having 2 bodies and the supernatural one already being stabbed in the chest before, so even that reveal was more of a "oh, okay. Makes sense" feeling.

It's... kind of sad... my experience with this chapter. With this arc.

The only thing I like is Mirai saving Akane, and how rich with character quirks, values, and experiences, Akane's fight with Tsukasa is, it goes beyond just his judo skills (and Elise will talk about it when she has the time) But I'll be honest, I have no hope for this arc, no wish to think about it and theorize it or anything.

I am here for terukaneaoi and the way Aoi hasn't shown up even as a small panel since the clock was frozen is... very telling... Akane's 'betrayal' with Teru also saddens me, for the more I look at it, the more clear it becomes that it is a tool, not a conflict they planned as a means to clash ideals, learn more about each other, or strengthen/restructure bonds (like Aoikane in chap 69 or Kou and Teru in chap 87). When Aidairo does want to create character conflict, they are amazing at it! Which makes Akane and teru feel... that much weirder.

I never expected Teru to jump and try to help Akane, he is handcuffed and without his sword, but I did expect him to have some kind of thought about the situation while he watched Akane be beaten up in front of him.

We get no reaction panel about what he thought of the fight. At all. Akane isn't in immediate danger when we do see his thoughts but it still feels... Strange to frame chapter 108 in a way that highlights how much Akane's betrayal affects Teru on a personal level, to make chap 109's gag revolve around Teru being THAT angry with Akane and then... Make Teru not spare Akane a single thought.

Teru even takes into consideration Nene's lifespan, but absolutely nothing about Akane. No cursing him. No "oh he did almost die like I wished for, idk how to feel a bout that". No "it feels strange to not be able to do anything, just watch". No, "I guess he is a clock keeper not the boy i thought I knew". No "i'm glad he is not dead". Not even "he should have died", as cruel as it sounds, it would still make way more sense than just... Nothing.

He doesn't even refer to Akane by name.

Teru is someone who has taken things personally since his very introduction, unused to change and prioritizing his relationships over his duties (not exorcising Hanako so Kou doesn't get mad at him. Putting the intire school at risk cause Tiara wanted him to clean up a mokke in chap 39. Letting Akane punch him in chap 71, etc-)

He is pathetic and unexperienced when he takes things personally, he wants to be reliable and admired, he doesn't know how to handle not getting what he wants (especially with Akane, who always obeys). Even when he tries to be detached his pathetic nature still show up. It had been consistent.

But the guy that locked himself in his bedroom and hid under the covers for a whole day after his fight with Kou seemingly got over Akane betraying him in what must have been 1 hour without talking about it ? I know Akane is not as important to Teru as his family but it's insane that he got over it without even thinking about it or being able to move in any way to let his frustrations out.

The worst part is that even when I suspend my disbelief and go along with the idea that Teru "isn't taking things personally anymore and is in professional mode cause the situation is dire!" it still makes no sense.

Akane's betrayal should have filled his head with questions about the situation, about what changed, but Teru never even tried to connect his vague talk with Akane with the clock keepers seemingly being nerfed.

Why 'now?' feels like an important question. One that should stick, but Teru ignores it.

Which again. Goes agaisnt what is established of his opinion of Akane.

Why would he neglect the words of a colleague he considers wise? Of someone he is treating as fully part of the clock keepers now? Someone he always wanted to hear his opinions before even in his 'professional and smart' mode? Someone whose opinions we have been told he doesn't dismiss even when what Akane says clashes with his upbringing as an exorcist? I am just supposed to assume he is treating Akane as any other supernatural now? Is the betrayal an insta 'everything that has been established no longer applies' free card...?

So yeah, sure... This is a big improvement from chapter 109 but it has the same core problem as chapter 109, at least to me: Aidairo has no interest in exploring Teru as a character in this arc. Aidairo wants the spotlight fully on the broadcasting club, and they will tweak his character whenever it's convenient to set the stage. Just like Nene had turned into a kid with minimal agency, Teru has become a presence that doesn't ask questions, unless said questions will move the plot.

Feelings will also be reduced to what moves the plot, we don't need to know how he feels about being in a position with no power, no sword, and minimal knowledge for the first time in this manga. There is so much they can explore completely disconnected from Akane, despite putting a spotlight on their relationship in chap 108, but there is nothing for Teru's character.

Even when Tsukasa points at Nene, whom he isn't angry at, he has no reaction. He does not care about this guy targeting the little baby girl after witnessing Akane be dragged on the floor.

Of course he doesn't. This isn't about him, is a Hanako set up, Teru can't have even a panel of spotlight on him that is about his character, can't bring attention to his fall out with Akane, less the reader get any expectative from it, or take space in a manga that currently isn't about him.

Teru is a tool first, and a character second in this arc. Chapter 109 stuck him in a dumb gag box. Chapter 110 stuck him in a smart guy exposition box. His personality is picked apart when it is convenient not when it makes sense for a character that has been molded for 100 chapters.

I don't care about this plot. I care about my favorite characters, and how they would react to the circumstances the plot been put on. That's my priority. It isn't Aidairo's. Even if Teru does have a relevant role later, it's still clear that exploring his character isn't Aidairo's priority in this arc.

I told chapter 109 to make me care about the arc, and chapter 110 is way better but not enough to make me care. Which is very sad, I wish it did :(

...This was already a depressing enough answer as it is, I don't want to talk about it.

[king-midas-fortnite]

Hello. I assume there is little need for introduction, but I am Midas. I've recently returned from a brief..."sabbatical", shall we call it, in the Underworld.

My daughter, Jules thought it would be a good idea to keep a blog. Not sure why. Something about venting feelings, connecting with other people not in my crew, etc. Not exactly things I find very high priority, but I suppose it can't kill me. I'd know better than anyone what can, after all. And perhaps it'll make keeping tabs on people of interest easier...

Feel free to reach out, if you wish. Message me, tag me, whatever the case may be. I'll do my best to be active here. Whatever it takes to make my daughter happy. However, I am a busy man. Apologies if I miss anything.

((Keep reading for rules and notes!))

--------------------------------------------------

Rules and guidelines for interacting!

1. This blog is run by an adult. I am 26, my main is @snippydippy. Please keep this in mind when interacting with me. I ask that minors please consider a different Midas.

I will use (()) to indicate when I'm speaking out of character in any posts!

2. I don't mind NSFW content myself, but may not answer questions or reblog content pertaining to sexually explicit topics to keep things relatively appropriate.

3. This blog may contain ship content, it may not. I have ships I like, they may not be the ones you do. While my version of Midas is cis, he's not straight (bi king). If this bothers you, I don't know what to tell you.

4. My DMs and asks will always be open! Please don't be shy, Midas won't bite. I'm down to RP in the reblogs with anyone! However, DM roleplays for other adults only, please.

5. This blog will always be skewed towards a more serious vibe. I take my characterization of Midas very seriously (more so than I probably should for a FN character lol). You won't find much in the way of him being a silly guy. Even if I find it funny, if I don't think a situation would be in character for my version of him, it won't happen.

That's it as far as my rules go aside from the obvious "don't be a dick" sentiments that I feel I shouldn't have to say. Thank you for reading them! Next are just a couple notes on my headcanons for Midas.

-Midas has some control over his Golden Touch. I think of the curse in a way that is similar to chronic pains. Some days, it is manageable, and he can touch whatever he'd like without issue. Some days, it is bad. He has to avoid people, can't eat, and struggles getting through mundane tasks without frustration.

I believe his curse may also be in part tied to his emotions. Any intense anger, sadness, or other strong feelings will make it harder to control the Touch, and it does cause him some amount of pain when it's out of control. (Doing mental gymnastics to explain why Fortnite itself isn't consistent with his power.)

-Jules means everything to Midas. He will do absolutely anything in his power to keep his daughter safe and to keep his relationship with her in good standing. He's wronged her in the past, and is doing all he can to make up for those actions and lost time.

-His time in the underworld changed him a bit. He's less cold to the people close to him. He allows more feeling than pure calculation into his thought processes, but a stranger may not be able to tell. Midas is a relatively closed off man. He does not wear his emotions on his sleeve, and doesn't often make friends without some kind of benefit to be had from the relationship. Be it power or connections. However, the friendships he does have mean a great deal to him. He is quick to provide aid in any way he can to those he cares about.

Another thing about his imprisonment in Hell: Time in the underworld was experienced differently. While we may have waited four years for Midas to return, for him it was much, much longer. Now that he is back, he is determined to never be put in chains ever again.

-My version of him obviously has not left the island after returning from the underworld, instead opting to stay as his curiosity for how things have changed has gotten the better of him. He wants to keep up with the power struggles, and find a way to insert himself back into them.

This blog is semi-independent! Some lore is shared with @perseus-ihatemydad-fortnite in that he helped Midas escape from the Underworld. As well as most often being seen interacting with @kado-fortnite and @valeria-fortnite

Tags I'll use!

#Midas Answers -For asks answered in character

#Midas Posts -For interactions in character

#Gold Reserves -In-character reblogs of art, aesthetic posts, etc.

#Gold Encounter -For interactions between other characters that are meant to be read as happening in-person/privately

#Journal Entries - For uh. For Journal Entries lol. These are, in a meta sense, private to him. They are for interactions that happen on the Discord server rather than Tumblr for reader convenience.

- 👑 for anon messages

#Shut your trap snippy -For posts like these that include me talking OOC (I know, long tag. It's just what I've been using on my main blog for years to tag my own garbage lol)

Screenshot in this post and my header are from @corvidazed 💛

Thank you for getting all the way down here! I hope our interactions are fun!

[sonicexelle-junkary]

you know adding romance in your stories like hungryhero make it a bit awkward generally romance is something that a story go forward but for it I have the impression that it there to be there. You said yourself that after starting is new diet sonic pretty much doesn’t care about anyone except few people (and that doesn’t include shadow) plus if you really wanted to include sonadow in the story you could’ve have a few comic about sonic and shadow but instead you do drawing of them being close but that doesn’t make sense seeing how thier relationship goes it make really awkward ( this isn’t to meant to be a criticism but I just want to tell what brother me) and that all even though you will probably continue what you were doing with them and that I just you to acknowledge your fault

My introduction to ships in my AU’s really are more just guilty pleasures to myself. A lot of the romance/ships I do bring into the AU’s don’t really serve purpose to bring the plot forward because they aren’t supposed to. Romance is not the focus in these kinds of AU’s, I just put them in because it’s fun. I think only like three of my AU’s have ships, and really only one of them has any weight to it (being the House Party AU). The other two are both just a joke and not cannon (COTH), and just because it’s in my headcannons/personal preferences (HungryHero.EXE).

The House Party AU is based on old horror/slasher films and it follows a lot of those plot points (albeit given a bit of a twist to it), so yes there will be some romance or ‘sexual’ tension between some characters because that’s how a lot of those kinds of stories go.

While HungryHero.EXE takes after my headcannons, I don’t exactly like forcefully fitting characters into certain things unless that was established day one of brainstorming. The AU takes after every game published by the Sonic Team, so any (romantic) relationship with any character is mostly ambiguous prior to the events of HungryHero.EXE (being the very first part of the series).

Plus, believe it or not, Sonic is a shy guy when it comes to sharing his more romantic emotions. He’s the kind of guy who is more with actions than words, and he’s not that much into PDA. As I said, HungryHero.EXE is half based in cannon, so I wanted to keep Sonic as close to his cannon self as I can.

And as I said before, I don’t think that shipping or romance should be the main focus, or something to drive the plot forward in a story. Like, a lot of times people just have a lover but they don’t do much in the story anyways. Romance and relationships are just a part of life, I don’t think that they should always be the focus in stories, even if they are part of it.

[mickeys-malarkey]

I can't hold my Bendy theories in anymore!!

I've only got a few people to infodump to about Bendy IRL, I'm just so excited after watching the BATDR trailer and reading all the new theories that I can barely sleep or get any work done, and now that we have an official release date they can't chicken out if my theories are correct rofl. So, here I go!

Fair Warning: There's no way to avoid it, this is gonna have so many spoilers for all the current Bendy games and books (well, except BINR. But there's also not really a story in that one) that I'm just gonna have to assume that if you're still reading past this point, you've either already played/read the entire series (obviously minus BATDR) or you don't care about spoilers!

Pt. 1/3: Expanding (Mostly) On My TIOL Thoughts

As I said in my thought summaries here and on Twitter, I hate Nathan Arch. Dude literally sets off every single alarm bell I have, I don't understand why nobody else seems freaked the heck out by him… *shudders* I'm convinced that he's the answer to theMeatly's question.

To start off, I'd like to point out that… Nathan says his notes exist to “provide context for the contemporary reader,” which sounds like he's just gonna be stating general historical facts every reader would've known when the book was originally published but might not know when it was republished and are necessary to understanding what Joey's saying. But that's not what the notes are like at all? They actually consist of very personal information that readers at the time of original publication couldn't possibly have known and definitely aren't necessary to understanding what Joey's saying; and the vast majority seem to specifically be either 1: flip-flopping between singing Joey's praises and making remarks he really shouldn't be making if he were actually trying to dispel the negative rumors around the man as he claims, or 2: confirming or denying descriptions of himself?? 🚨

It feels like he's trying to manipulate us into seeing Joey as a genius and saint whose inventions we should accept with open arms whilst simultaneously positioning the guy as a scapegoat to take all blame in case we don't, and into seeing Nathan himself as an intelligent and kind man who definitely respected and admired Joey and, of course, would never, ever mistreat him, preemptively discrediting any rumors about him being an abusive friend that might crop up. Even when Joey makes comments that in no way cast him in a bad light— Joey be like “oh Nathan loved creative people and even though he would never understand us wanted to be us” and Nathan be like “actually no I like myself fine, and also no I dislike creatives in general, they're boring and too self-indulgent. It's specifically Joey that I admired, and therefore I admired his creativity specifically by extension. Isn't it just like Joey not to see the compliment—?” Um, no?? No, Nathan, that sounds absolutely nothing like Joey; he's literally been enraptured by every statement or action that could possibly be construed as complimenting him in this book. Did you just indirectly end your relationships with every other creative you've ever met so that nobody would believe anyone who claims that you looked down upon Joey? 🚨🚨

Let me get into some of the more unique notes from Nathan.

“The first time I read this [Elves and the Shoemaker] story it meant a great deal to me. Joey, as he said in his introduction, was never one to talk about his past. He never spoke about his parents. I certainly never met them. I don't even remember how I learned his father made shoes. So to get a glimpse back at this part of his life, for an old friend, it was very special. I remember telling Joey all this after I read the manuscript back in ‘41. He just smiled.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 23

With the way this note happens right before Joey practically spells out that he trusts nobody and denies everyone even the most innocuous information out of self-preservation in the very next story, it does not feel like Nathan's sharing a heartwarming moment between friends. It feels like he's bragging about his position and accomplishments in their predator-and-prey relationship; like he's proud of himself for slowly breaking Joey down and eventually getting him to divulge info he'd been denying him. If your parents lived nearby and were perfectly lovely people, why do you think that you would neither talk about them with nor introduce them to someone who was supposedly one of your closest friends? I'll get into why I think he finally gave the info up in a bit.

In the Lottie story, if Nathan had only said that he wasn't sure the letter exchange had actually happened, I would've been like “yeah sure, we all know Joey's a liar. 🤷🏻‍♀️” But no, he specifically eases us from confirmation of Eckhart and Donaldson's existences even though he claims to have only briefly met them, to claiming Joey was such a good storyteller he could make you think you personally met someone who never existed even if he'd literally just told you that they were imaginary, to casting doubt on the very existence of a girl he was described as having been known by name to outside of the letter exchange.

“I met Joey the following year at the lab and only briefly had the chance to meet [Private Donaldson and Private Eckhart]. They were every bit the characters Joey describes them to be.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 27

“When I first read this I forgot, despite Joey saying as much, that this was fiction, and spent far too much time racking my brain over who this James [who Joey says he told Lottie he met when he came by the lab to say hi to me] was. Joey is so good with his storytelling that even when he tells you it's not real, you can forget a moment later.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 37 (emphasis added)

“I have gone through every piece of correspondence Joey ever saved as part of my work preserving his memory and documenting his life, and I must confess I was looking forward to reading Lottie's letters in person, having been moved to tears reading this part of the manuscript thirty years ago. Unfortunately, I have not been able to find them. It is possible they were lost to time, and I do deep down hope that to be true. However, even if this story is revealed to be one of Joey's excellent fictions, I think it doesn't really matter. Joey would, of course, call it another example of his illusion. I think the message in the story is meaningful regardless whether it really happened or not. And regardless if Lottie actually herself existed or not, she is a fine embodiment of the brave women who served our country in war.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 41 (emphasis added)

I absolutely do not think this is a reality check, I think Nathan's trying to erase Lottie's existence – even gaslighting anyone who knew her in real life into thinking they'd imagined her – to throw us off the “Joey's Illusion of Living ‘philosophy’ is literally just the coping mechanism of an extremely traumatized man” scent; I wonder if Lottie actually fell victim to suicide shortly after writing to Joey that she was spiraling into a deep, dark depression, and Joey made up everything that happened after that specific letter in order to cope with the loss – pretend that “my dear friend isn't dead despite being sent somewhere there was no actual fighting where I thought she'd be safe; I saved her life and she's living a Happily Ever After overseas, married to a handsome young British soldier” – rather than just the goodbye letter to wrap her story up in a neat bow… Maybe Nathan even helped him pretend she was still alive in order to endear himself to this literal kid who was destroyed with grief?

Speaking of which, does nobody find the circumstances under which Nathan and Joey met… concerning? Nathan says “we knew each other since we were teenagers,” which sounds fine until you realize they met because Joey lied about his age and joined the army while still a minor, where he was bullied and pressured into things like underage drinking by grown-@$$ legal adults, multiple of which were also of higher rank. And not only was Nathan one of those grown-@$$ legal adults of higher rank and definitely bullying him just like the others (“I swear I definitely didn't join the other guys in giving him that Real Man™ complex of his like he says—” yeah, sure, Nathan, I totally believe you /s. 🙄), but clearly his horrifying apparent hobby that I'll explain next was already established at the time, seeing as Joey saw the photo of Ivan Newsome dying in agony with his own eyeballs when Nathan introduced him to Walter Richmond… 😬🚩

I'm convinced that Walter, Arthur, and Isabel were three of Nathan's previous victims, and they mirror the relationships he has with Joey, Allison, and Susie.

Walter looking at Nathan “as if asking permission to speak” before engaging Joey in conversation (Nathan nudges us towards believing they had no prior relationship by stating that he was flattered by Joey's observation that he had a way of introducing anyone so that it felt like they were his guest even if he'd just met them… but technically neither confirms nor denies anything 👀) has creepily similar vibes to how Joey “just smiled” in response to Nathan's gushing over the info on his parents; I feel like Joey gave up the info because he had to jump through hoops in order for Nathan to give him permission to publish his book— to be able to get the thing out the door without tripping any of Nathan's “Joey's disobeying and must be punished” alarms. Also, notice how Walter mysteriously had “a lot of people who knew him, but nobody who wanted to claim the title of ‘Walter's friend…’” and how the only people Joey's apparently still in contact with in BATIM are A: one of Nathan's (confirmed) employees, B: a janitor who didn't even realize Joey would remember him so definitely doesn't have enough of a relationship with Joey for Nathan to consider him a threat, and C: a shady veterinarian (wouldn't be surprised if he works for Nathan, as well). It's a classic abuser's tactic to isolate and villainize their victim so that they have no choice but to rely on the abuser; I'll get into more reasons I think that was happening in a bit.

I find it suspicious how Arthur not only personally delivers Ivan's effects to his sister Isabel, just tells her what happened which you'd expect someone with such fresh and debilitatingly severe PTSD to be very reluctant to do, and sticks around to befriend her, but also attends her art show showcasing Walter's war photos— it feels like someone was forcing Arthur to do all of this behind-the-scenes, and maybe the firecracker scene wasn't just about Isabel punishing the rich people for their morbid fascinations, but also Nathan punishing Arthur for being difficult about the situation behind-the-scenes. Meanwhile, Joey just happens to hire this random voice actress to replace Susie who we know just happens to be working for Nathan by the time BATIM happens, the memo that she had been hired specifically marked “don't deliver to Susie” just happens to make it into Susie's possession (seeing as she paraphrases it to Henry), Allison seems to know full well that Joey can't fire her when he tries to in DCTL, and then, by TLO, something has apparently happened to where Tom's been rehired which neither he nor Joey had any choice in and he doesn't wanna talk to anyone about (I doubt it was just all the deaths in DCTL, especially considering Joey went from his furious “I never want to see you again” attitude to begging Tom to come back. We've only heard him beg once before, which I'll get into later), and Tom and Allison have bizarrely switched opinions on the situation and machine (Allison changing from “your invention is amazing, Tom! Why are you stuck on the bad parts of the situation?” in DCTL to “I don't understand why you accepted this job back” in TLO, and Tom changing from “horrible things happened because of my machine, I wish I'd never been ensnared by this place” in DCTL to “why doesn't Ally understand? You don't just abandon a miracle” in TLO)—? It seems to me like Allison was never truly Joey's employee, she was Nathan's employee the whole time (which puts Joey's refusal to attend her and Tom's wedding in a whole new light), and Joey wasn't the only one punished for his failures and attempts to override the steel tycoon's authority.

To reiterate, since I saw some people being confused about the massive change: even with the memory loss issue, Allison's opinion in BATDR is just a natural progression from when the something happened between DCTL and TLO. 😛😬

Anyways, I get the distinct impression that creating situations like these to turn people into murder puppets without anyone being the wiser he was even involved is a hobby of Nathan's.

“…I am glad that he wrote [the murder mystery story] down this one time. It helps me to remember Joey at his most charming and sharp. Later years he became too fixated on things he might have gotten wrong, there was too much guilt and worry, too much fear. It didn't feel like the same man at the end, that's for sure.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 98

You can't tell me that doesn't sound like he gets off on seeing how absolutely ruthless he can make his victims whilst still having them believe they're in the right and he's bitter as heck that one of his favorite pet projects came to his senses and was haunted by his conscience later in life— he literally just admitted he preferred a Joey who admired a murderer and thought that allowing people to die and getting murdered himself must've been worth it for Walter because now he has the immortality of being in a fascinating story instead of having lived in mediocrity over a Joey who felt guilt.

On that note, I absolutely do not believe Nathan's note on Henry's story was him trying to get the truth out about Henry being a despicable person. This is actually the chapter that first clued me in on Nathan's creepiness when I did my ADHD “skim the whole book except reading all the way through anything that looks especially interesting before properly reading” thing I do.

“Joey has always been a professional person, far more so in many ways than me. That is why this section of the book is so forgiving of the man who abandoned the studio he helped create. Joey can't help but see the good in people. That being said, as a good friend of Joey's, I know that Henry's departure was a great upheaval for him and a great personal betrayal. Joey never truly forgave Henry, and I don't think he should have felt obligated to. The fact that Joey is so gracious in this part of the book is a reflection of his incredible generosity in allowing Henry Stein to be stainless in the eyes of history. I think, had he lived longer, Joey might have in later years called it his greatest illusion.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion Of Living, pg. 155

At first I found his saltiness funny, but then I read Joey's actual descriptions and… he's very clearly trying and failing to put down an amazing person, not build up a horrible one. I wondered why Nathan would be claiming the opposite and I realized— it sounds like he's admitting to being Dead Sea Level salty that Joey got terminally ill specifically because he's certain that, if he hadn't, he would've eventually been able to fully convince Joey that Henry was the villain rather than himself and therefore Joey wouldn't have reached out to the animator towards the end of his life in BATIM. Which leads me to my next observation:

I think Joey's play, “The Angel and The Devil,” was about Henry and Nathan.

I don't care that the Shoulder Angel is played by Abby and the Shoulder Devil is played by Joey, lol; that doesn't matter when you look at the actual content. I want you to read this excerpt:

Angel: [Empathy] is a wonderful talent that also leads [humans] down dark paths. Devil: Thank goodness for dark paths, they lead all great artists to their greatest creations. Angel: Empathy is your provenance then? Devil: We share it— for you it leads men to reach out and help, build hospitals, begin charities… Angel: For you it allows men to achieve their greatness through manipulation and fear. Devil: Is it not wonderful?

Going back to the murder mystery story, Walter and Isabel's thought processes perfectly match what the Shoulder Devil in Joey's play is described as using empathy to inspire humanity to do:

Walter was inspired to let Ivan die so that his photo – his art – would have a more compelling story that tugs at the heartstrings.

Isabel was inspired to kill Walter for the crime of letting Ivan die, masterfully manipulating her confession so that it technically wasn't a confession, instilling fear of herself in everyone present with the fact that if she did do it then she was untouchable legally thanks to her money, and finally, she was fully convinced that she would also be untouchable socially— even be better off, because people would see her as a hero for delivering justice to a monster like Walter.

Going back to BATIM, Joey literally says this to our faces:

“The truth is, you were always so good at pushing, Henry… Pushing me to do the right thing. You should've pushed a little harder.” ~ Joey Drew, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 5

Does that not sound like Henry was good at using empathy to inspire kindness/etc. the way the Shoulder Angel is described as doing (Joey's actually very right that empathy is a morally neutral phenomenon that can be used for good or evil! *Spoken with hyper-empathetic autistic/low-to-no-empathy autistic solidarity*)?

The Angel and Devil also say that whichever of them the man they were assigned to doesn't choose will have to leave. This tells me that the ending of Joey's play – where it's implied the man the angel and devil were assigned to chose the angel – was read rather than acted out (with the excuse that they for some reason couldn't pick a random person to play him out of the crowd like they did for the Hatcheck Girl) in order to symbolize how Joey wanted to choose his true friend and make the toxic one leave, but he had that choice taken away from him when Henry was driven away despite his best efforts. In other words, I think both his version of the friend breakup story and Henry's version have elements of truth and deception to them.

Anybody notice that it seems like Wally and Tom seemed to have been being pitted against and told lies about each other as well as having their work sabotaged by an unknown third party?

“So here's my beef with this whole Gent thing. I went to school, yeah that's right— me! Star Student at Brickmore High. I know my potatoes! So where's this ‘Mr. Connor’ fella get off telling me what to do? These college boys. They can tell ya what's wrong but if you try to fix it on ‘em. They're outta here!” ~ Wally Franks, Boris and the Dark Survival

“Not all of us are well connected, son. Not all of us have chances. Especially to get a job as an engineer when I ain't had no proper education and training.” ~ Thomas Connor, Dreams Come to Life, pg. 252

“If there's one loose bolt around here we're gonna have a whole mess of trouble. And wouldn't you know it, that Wally guy is one loose bolt! He keeps the floors clean he says, he didn't sign on for no science project. All I know is someone needs to keep these pipes maintained. And he can't be a slacker.” ~ Thomas Connor, Boris and the Dark Survival

Wally thinks he's being looked down upon for not having gone to college like Tom (who didn't go to college) and his efforts to help out are not just unappreciated but met with unreasonable emotional response. Meanwhile, Tom thinks Wally's being selfish and lazy and leaving all the work to be done by him. Sound familiar?

“…Henry left for his own reasons, and the correspondence between us became less and less. To be honest, it almost felt like a weight off when he left. He had grown more sensitive as the studio became more successful and giving him pep talks had become exhausting for me. All the good qualities he brought, the hard work and diligence, were being undermined by a restless need for something different. Something that wasn't Bendy. I'll never understand that drive. Bendy was and is perfection.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 176-177

“Only two weeks into this project and already it's gotten interesting. Joey is a man of ideas… And only ideas. When I agreed to start this whole thing with him I thought there would be a little more give and take. Instead I give, and he takes. I haven't seen Linda for days now. Still, someone has to make this happen. When in doubt, just keep drawing Henry. On the plus side, I've got a new character I think people are gonna love.” ~ Henry Stein, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 3

Joey thinks that Henry was being unreasonably emotional and looking down upon Bendy as not good enough (when he obviously loved the character/cartoons), and that his efforts to help were unappreciated. Meanwhile, Henry thinks Joey was being a selfish, lazy leech and leaving all the work to be done by him.

Is it really a stretch at all to wonder if Henry and Joey were similarly being pitted against and told lies about each other as well as having their work sabotaged by an unknown third party? Maybe the exact same third party?

This makes me very suspicious about who was really behind the worrying newspaper in Joey's apartment; something tells me that Joey's Shoulder Devil successfully pushed his Shoulder Angel off that right shoulder. Twice. I can see Nathan thinking “fine, if you won't give up on this stupid animator, I'll use this opportunity to remove him from the picture permanently and poetically…”

Is Joey's being so touched by the memory of Isabel “angelically” helping Arthur during his war flashbacks an “I wish my Shoulder Angel would come save me?” And is his horror at the descriptions of Shell Shock (PTSD) as basically a time loop foreshadowing that he ends up trapped in a real time loop, himself, by Nathan's sadistic design? I think it's likely, especially after reading @dreamfisher-nux's posts speculating on Wilson's identity. If he's the Gent worker who stole Shaun's tool belt in BATDS and “somebody” who stole Tom's invention in Allison's BATIM Chapter 5 letter, and that invention was the seeing tool, so Wilson's the one that's been tampering with Henry's invisible messages, and he potentially murdered Henry and Joey when Henry returned at Joey's request… How much of this and how much more might he have been doing under Nathan's influence? Is he another one of Nathan's Murder Puppets? 👀

I think all the Henry stuff also explains why Joey claims that Sammy, Jack, and Norman were hired after Mr. Animator left despite the evidence in BATIM and DCTL that Sammy and Norman knew him personally. The only two versions of events he's being allowed to hear are “Henry leaving is your fault and your feelings about the situation are unreasonable” and “Henry was an awful person, you should be glad he's gone.” Nathan would never allow him to hear “it's Nathan's fault and your feelings about the situation are valid,” so he's gotta choose between believing two very painful other options; why wouldn't he try to discredit the most painful one?

While we're adding to the list of people who Nathan seems to have made disappear Mafia Boss-style, it sure seems awfully convenient that the two main Crack-Up Comics artists’ names “appear to have been lost to time” after they wrote a comic where Bendy (Joey) was literally sweating over how Boswell (Nathan) was the richest cat in the world and could crush him like a bug if he didn't perform his job to satisfaction…

…Sounds to me like Nathan did something to shut these two people up so that word of the true nature of his and Joey's relationship wouldn't get out.

Also, interesting how the disappearances of not only a reporter-in-training and the sister of two well-known entertainers but also the only son of the richest, most influential and most dangerous man in Atlantic City didn't get Mr. Joey “Bankrupt From Impulsive Spending Who Apparently Doesn't Even Have The Power To Fire His Own Employees (and ‘Employees’) Nor The Respect Of Enough People To Not Be Giggled At And Whispered About During His Own Speech At His Own Party” Drew and all of his employees arrested or worse… In fact, from the new teaser and archive images that came out, we now know the studio survived for almost two years afterwards before filing bankruptcy and closing forever…

…at which point Joey was mysteriously missing for a while. This is pretty much pure speculation, but I wonder if it could be that Joey's need for a wheelchair stems from an injury sustained in this time? Mr. Mafia Boss decided he needed his kneecaps busted or something?? At any rate, it sounds to me like Joey had someone richer, more influential, and more dangerous than Mr. Chambers “on his side…” until he failed too many times, and needed to be punished more severely? 👀

“Again I shook my head. Didn't [Constance] understand that this was not how it worked? She hadn't lived in my world. Any company that could afford such a machine, that could hide it, that had such dark huge secrets, they had to be protected by something huge as well.” ~ Bill Chambers, Bendy: The Lost Ones, pg. 191

Then, ink machine things continued at Gent… until the year Allison and Tom got married.

Sounds to me like Gent might've been condemned in order to punish Allison and Tom either for the very fact that they got married (making them more-difficult-to-control puppets) or because they failed to get Joey to come to their wedding where Nathan could access him in-person again…

This archive entry sounds as if Joey had to go into hiding, perhaps to escape Nathan and/or people like Bill's dad who were waiting for Nathan to rescind his protection? Also, as an animation history nerd, it sounds to me like the Bendy cartoons were picked up by other studios besides Archgate in attempt to reboot them after JDS kicked the bucket (as has happened to countless cartoons whose original studios kicked the bucket in real life, e.g., the Fleischer cartoons, the Hanna-Barbera cartoons, the Veggie Tales cartoons, etc.), and it wouldn't surprise me if these “minor attempts to rekindle the magic” were Joey's feeble attempts at keeping what was left of Bendy out of Nathan's claws. Remember, Nathan didn't say in Crack-Up Comics that he “inherited” the Bendy IP from Joey's estate, he said he bought it, as further confirmed in the final archive entry.

This means Joey did not leave Bendy to Nathan in his will. In fact, it sounds like he either didn't have a will at all or it was destroyed when he died… Anyone notice that Joey's secret BATDS recording, where he asks Nathan for money, is the only time we've heard him sound audibly nervous?

Strange how, in DCTL, Joey calls Bertrum “Bertrum” when introducing him to the most uncomfortable person at his party, who respects him as his boss; it's not until the people who hold financial power over him start whispering and giggling that he introduces him as “Bertie,” as if he wasn't specifically trying to slight Bertrum as the man in question assumed, but instead was trying to assert to all the hungry cats in the room that he was also a cat, rather than a tasty lil mouse for them to devour… Nathan is worse than them? He's able to break Joey's facade of confidence that this crowd of investors could only make him reinforce? What's worse, the investors he tries to persuade like he does everyone else, convince that they should give him money because everything's great… but Nathan, who's supposedly his friend, he begs for money, saying that the one-and-only reason he's asking this is because the situation is dire (implying he has no choice). That's… worrisome.

Funny how, across DCTL, TIOL, and TLO, Joey consistently pulls or feels the urge to pull his cruel pranks on people anytime a new person seems to be hiding things from him or trying to take advantage of him. Buddy after being caught stealing art supplies? Bill after being caught lying about not having knowledge of the ink machine? Sammy when he suspected his deadpan-&-monotone-ness was an act and that he didn't respect him? Almost seems like the pranks are actually the survival mechanism of someone who's had a whole lotta really bad experiences with betrayal, having things hidden from him, getting taken advantage of, etc. rather than just the product of a twisted sense of humor, hm…?

“…inside I was feeling a little angry now. I don't do well when people are disloyal, and this was something I'd expected to be kept between me and Abby. Then I stopped and controlled myself (I have excellent control over my emotions) and realized I had never actually told her there was anything secret about this. I'd have to be more careful in the future. Believe you me, I have been since. A contract is a fine thing to have between colleagues, even finer at times between friends.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 170-171

“[Sammy] leaned back on both elbows on the stone wall. Beneath him Fifth Avenue roared and certain death would come to anyone who toppled over the edge down onto it. The man definitely had confidence in that wall. I had a sudden urge to give him a shove. Not push him over, but just to see his reaction. This might sound strange, but I needed to see a human moment from him, I needed to see the man he was hiding from me. That's the trouble when you're interested in recreating the illusion of the world. You want to see the truth of it as much as possible.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 188-189 (emphasis added)

Also, it's weird that, when talking about reuniting with Nathan at the Sparkling Unicorn, Joey claims not to have known Nathan very well in the army but to always have liked his personality… after having claimed to be close enough friends with him that he helped him write fake letters from a fictional character to Lottie, just a few pages earlier. Either Joey's not nearly as good a liar as he's supposed to be… or this discrepancy was created on purpose in an attempt to tell us that Joey only liked Nathan's personality back when they were in the army because he didn't actually know him as well as he thought he did. 👀

This all together…

…really makes one wonder if Joey's little intro to TIOL wasn't him humble-bragging, but genuinely explaining that the reason he took so long to write it was because A: he's been being gaslit to heck and back for decades and genuinely doesn't know what reality is as a result, and B: refusing to write this book was one of the few ways he was able to assert real control over his own life for a very long time…

“Looking back is awkward. Looking back, you can trip yourself up. I've never been a fan of it. Which is why I never had a desire to tell my story. No matter how many book deals were offered, no matter how many dinners were thrown for me. I am a man who makes up my own mind. You can't buy me. No one buys Joey Drew.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 3

Speaking of the intro, interesting how, as much as Joey tries to claim that his surprise at Simmons remembering his “philosophy” is because Simmons isn't the brightest bulb in the factory, he still gets noticeably hung up on the fact that his words had stuck with someone; it's almost as if the vast majority of people he knew either openly viewed him as a talentless idiot or genuinely were trying to manipulate him as he was so seemingly paranoid about, and he was beyond desperate for any scrap of genuine praise anyone would give him, no…? *Stares at basically every audio log, literally every Nathan note, and every scene where Joey reacted unsubtly ecstatically to compliments and/or irate at any hint someone was looking down on him*

Anyone notice how, throughout his whole memoir, Joey sings the praises of anyone he clearly wants to be like and drags anyone who resembles what he's actually like through the mud? “Omigosh, Sammy is just so talented and powerful and automatically respected and praised by everyone! He's so awesome! 🤩” “Yuck, Detective Sinclair wears a persona to hide how useless and powerless he is and is just so desperate for validation! I hate him! 😤 Btw, this stuff is not what my philosophy is about, I'm actually changing reality here (whatever makes you feel better, Joey /hj).” I guess this leads me into the next section…

Continued in Part Two: Expanding (Mostly) On My DCTL & TLO Thoughts

[justatalkingface]

I saw a few anons mention Hori's other works in the past and I noticed something when I read them myself. Every main character of his works are nice, kind characters that have tragic backstories that make people want to root for them:

Oumagadoki Doubutsuen introduces a female protagonist who was laughed at by literally everyone at school for being so clumsy, she couldn't do anything right without hurting herself. Her working part time at the zoo (owned by the rabbit guy) not only helps her, but it reveals she has a deep knowledge and understanding of animals. Sensei No Bulge introduces a boy, who cares for the many homeless children younger than him, get roped into acting as the prince's body double because the two look alike. This end up revealing that the boy has what it takes to lead through his kindness and taking the lessons taught to him.

However, these two (plus Izuku) NEVER have their backstories explored after the introduction of it. We never get a deeper look as to WHY the girl is so clumsy, or how her passion for animals came to be. Nor do we get to see any more of her school life after that. We never learn more about the boy that explores his kind and willingness to help others. And, once again, he doesn't go back to check up on those homeless children.

But we DO get focus of the rabbit guy, who is literally abusive to the zoo animals and a jerk to the girl. Don't worry, it's revealed that the rabbit guy was a child turned into an anthropomorphic rabbit by a rabbit guardian as punishment for abusing a rabbit in the woods. Which apparently made him stay stuck in his (horrible) child mentality. We DO get focus on the jerk mentor/bodyguard who is teaching the boy. But when it came to learning some backstory? It's the a$$ hole of a prince who we get the backstory of! After he's KILLED! And it turns out that HE'S THE FAKE AND THE BOY IS THE REAL PRINCE!

Every. Time. Hori puts his focus on characters who are jerks (though, the other two aren't as bad as BnHA's jerks.), while the main character is relugated to taking care of everyone problems and being their mandatory support rock. The main character is always neglected, and never explored. The pattern just grew worse due to BnHA not being cancelled like the previous two mangas, and was allowed to continue for this long without any kind of self-awareness or an editor intervening.

...You know, I get the feeling, sometimes, that to Hori, the story is just a vessel to put his favorite characters in.

Like. 'Loser kid gets gud' is quintessential shonen, in the most basic of ways; and so that basic plot is there so MHA can be written and sold. Izuku, as he is now, exists to support MHA's existence more than anything.... but it feels sometimes like MHA itself is a stage that exists so he can play with his favorite toys characters on them.

There's Bakugou, obviously; always angry, always unrealistically loved, allowed to rampage with abandon throughout the DnD board that is MHA.

There's also Mirko, though; I don't remember where, but I seem to remember she's basiclly in the form of Hori's ideal woman or some bullshit? And, of course, the way he tortures her is infamous, and with that context... it's like he's playing out a fantasy.

Bakugou is the impulsive, angry, consequence-free prodigy he always wanted to be, maybe, and Mirko is, god help us, his fetish? Mineta is his perverted desires, and all the attractive women in skimpy outfits are just...fan service, for him as much as everyone else.

When you look it at that way, it feels like he made the setting, established the basics, then just... lost interest in the broader context of it, and just decided to double down on whatever specific elements he liked, and that's why certain things are so deeply invested in, like Mirko's torture porn and Bakugou's deep feelings and why we should totally like him, and how we should all forgive Endeavour already, since all the cool kids are doing it.

At the same time, though, the demands of the setting itself, and the important characters supporting them are still there: All Might, All For One, One For All, and Izuku. They're still in the story, and still massively important to the broader plot of the manga, and they have to be told. Hori can't just switch it to the Bakugou channel when this is, explicitly, Izuku's story... but he can stop focusing on it as much. So, as time passed, Izuku was less and less in focus, but he still did the checklist of whatever major parts he was supposed to play in the first place to move the plot along.

The only time it feels like he gets any focus anymore is when Hori can draw him out all edgy and dramatic, those moments when he's least like Izuku and most EPIC AND COOL, with serious Spiderman vibes with Black Whip, because Hori apparently loves Spiderman, and to some extent Izuku is his Spiderman wish fulfillment, but... as soon as he's talking about his feelings, or not wearing his costume, or basiclly doing anything that isn't fighting? Izuku is just kind of... skipped over, like someone's fast forwarding past their least favorite parts of a show.

That same logic can apply to OFA, who we know shit all about, even though this is one of the most important characters in the lore and the story is almost over, about All Might, who was been turned into this bumbling fool who can't even tie his own shoes, and AFO, who is probably the only person passing Izuku on the, 'I exist only support the plot' scale. AFO has just turned into Hori's' excuse for everything that has gone wrong these days; he's a multi-purpose answer that allows him to push forward the story without having to have any logic behind it at all beyond, 'AFO did it, I don't have to explain shit'.

(Someone get that 'it's magic' meme and slap AFO's mask on it.)

And that kinda energy, even if that isn't exactly what is happening, is part of the reason MHA is so... boring these days. Everything that happens seems so contrived and predictable, and it just isn't... fun anymore, or interesting. There's no depth to it, no life, just hollow tropes being executed by characters who no longer resemble who they used to be.

It used to be that I waited eagerly for each chapter to come out, that I was on the edge of my seat as Izuku struggled to establish himself and beat the odds, but now I can barely be assed to see if it updates. I can call most of the major story notes without even thinking about it at this point, and so far I've been pretty spot on in a broad sense, though a lot of them still need to play out, and when they do happen, I just want to groan more than anything.

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Choose - Lose

First posted: April 2, 2019

Focuses on: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, and Bruce Wayne

Favorite bookmark: "cried again. i will cry another time"

Second favorite bookmark: "fuck yeah"

Tier: Pretty middle of the road.

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

This one. was. wild. At 699 words, I think it's my shortest (just checked, it is) and one of my more uhhh experimental pieces.

At some point in 2018-19, I read Raisin Delight by @lemonadegarden, who is an evil genius. I read it and it broke my entire brain and also my heart. It it one of the few fics I remember my name instead of a Friends-esque description. I don't know when exactly I read it because I don't know how long the emotions it inspired had to rattle around in me before they splorted out this fic in response. I wrote it all in one sitting, if I remember correctly. I don't remember getting stuck or having to backtrack. It being so short helped as well. It was—as you can tell by comparing the works—less about what happened in the fic and responding to that the way one might via a sequel or even going "I like that but what if you..." and more about be feeling many, many things around the concept presented and just needing to barf emotions into a brown paper bag.

They stood side by side, shoulders angled outward, faces on the horizon. The wind rose, lashing stinging grains of sands against their skin before dying down again.

No philosophical intro on this one. It's too short and the tone is all wrong for that kind of introduction. There was no question about sidestepping my usual chattiness and dropping in midscene. Like I said, wrote it all in one sitting, bang, done.

I did try to make each word and image count, though I'm no Ann Leckie and probably could/should have done an even finer job of it, but I do feel like the first two sentences packed in a decent amount of information.

Tim looked to the empty space where the time traveler had stood, a forgettable man with a forgettable face in a forgettable shabby brown suit, and had made his unforgettable offer.

I blame Agatha Christie for this imagery, if I blame anyone.

Bruce, face bare, t-shirt wrinkling in the wind, had sucked in a sharp breath.

This was important, them, as civilians, as people, as a father and his sons, not in costume, not with their gear and tools and weapons. This isn't Batman being forced to choose between his Robins.

In the air, a chopper whined. In the distance, a truck rumbled. A small, caped figure hurried across the dunes.

Fun fact: Even though this fic is so short I have slightly more insight than usual because I was able to pull up my chat history with @audreycritter from right after I wrote it and then surprised her with it, which is the only way I know that I was at work when I started thinking about debt and histories and timelines and realized that Jason's death was the only reason Tim joined Fam, that everyone else would have made their way in eventually but he needed Jason to die to make it and how guilty that might make him feel if he realized it, and then I remembered "Raisin Delight" (still at work) and just about lost it.

Literally at 5:03 PM on 4/1/19 I'm listing different takes I'd love to read and tell Audrey "Or some twisted scenario where a time traveler takes them back and gives them the choice. I couldn't do that one. but I would read it. Maybe. Through my fingers."

... Annnnnd by 7:43 PM on the same day I'm casually texting Audrey "hey off the top of your head by chance do you remember how Jason and Sheila got to the warehouse?" Which is how the above sentence comes into being.

(By 8:31 PM, the fic was already done.)

The traveler disappeared.

This was very much a no-answers fic. Who was that guy? Why was he doing this? How did he find them? Were they all together or did he gather them from separate places? How are they going to get back when they're done?

Answer: Don't wooooorrryyyyyyy 'bout it

Tim’s place with Bruce was bought with blood. Paid for by the death of another boy. Without the sucking, gaping void of Jason’s absence, there was no role for Tim. There would be no grief for Bruce. No reckless rage to tamp down. No despair to fight back. No place for a lonely boy from down the hill. No reason to make the walk to the Manor’s front door.

My thesis statement (paragraph.)

Beside him, Bruce swayed. Forward, as if to step, as if pulled beyond his control. Then backward, rocked by the horror, repelled by the choice.

This is the horror of the fic. Bruce cannot choose. He cannot choose one child over another. Like unbreakable-law-of-the-universe cannot, divisible by zero cannot. But not choosing is choosing, so he can't choose and he can't not choose, and if one of his sons didn't choose for him, he was going to spontaneously combust into antimatter, I think.

Beyond, Jason stood still as granite. Frozen. Hard. Petrified by the glare of Medusa. 

Contrast with Jason, who doesn't dare move a muscle.

The numbness hadn’t yet made it to Tim’s heart. It gave a twinge of surprise that they hadn't moved. Was it up to him again, then? To push Bruce into action? To do what must be done?

Contrast with Tim (the Robin who does what must be done, who exists to help Bruce and keep him on the right path), who assumed Jason must be the one saved, because as he goes on to explain, Jason dies. He gets beaten, tortured, blown apart, killed, buried, and resurrected in his own grave. Tim... well, Tim will lose his heart and happiness and the only true family he's ever known, but he won't know that.

Or, to quote myself:

He would wake, alive and whole, in his own bed. He wouldn’t even notice the hole where his heart had been. He would live, but he would lose.

Some version of those two words were always the options for the fic, because it's about choosing and losing (not or. and.) But the options listed in the chat were:

Choose. Lose.

Choose / Lose

Choose - Lose

and then lots of grumping about how, grammatically, Choose, Lose and Choose; Lose are both more accurate but I loathed them.

Bruce had gone white. Jason had gone green.

A clever commenter thought this was a reference to the Pit. It wasn't, just nausea (watching yourself walk to a horrible end) and maybe a small nod to Megan Whalen Turner. I like the thought, though.

Tim took a step forward. Then another. A hand encircled his wrist, held him fast. The trigger callus scraped against his skin.

Like I said. Bruce could never choose or not choose. He needed his sons to make the choice for themselves. There was never another universe where he stopped Tim or let him go. It had to be Tim's choice to go and lose his future just as it had to be Jason's choice to stop him and accept what he had.

And lastly, a commenter left essentially a dictation of the dialogue she had with her mother (who doesn't read fic or know anything about DC) telling her what happened in this fic, and it made my entire life.

[iocainesmoothie]

Been playing ffxiv, paid to skip HW but really enjoyed stormblood, saw emet-selch for the first time.

I'm very impressed that his first introduction to the player was to be shot and rag dolled down the stairs, it immediately differentiates him from the other ascians who just say ominous and vague nonsense that never amounts to anything. It was almost more sinister, because it really illustrates the point that the ascians are noncorporeal horrors piloting a meat puppet.

Also very minor detail but I noticed even back in stormblood, instead of writing a boring talk quest as "go talk to so-and-so", instead they say "go meet SOMEONE at such-and-such place". Like it's so very minor, but instead of straight up telling me who you're going to meet they just sorta hint and say how excited that person is to see you again.

Mechanically it's the exact same boring quest format, and maybe I don't otherwise even care about that character, but even that tiny bit of speculating who it is and the implication that they have any kind of emotional response AT ALL is already elevating the writing.

I get the majority of quest text boils down to telling the player to go to X or talk to Y or collect Z and there's only so many ways to do that, and clarity of communication is always top priority, but in something long format like an mmo where the player has likely plugged in a hundred hours already you can kinda assume they've been trained to expect a certain order of events and can play with the format a bit.

Also the last duty of sb was one of those "everyone shows up at the big battle as npcs and cheers at you to go on to the big boss while they hold back reinforcements" fights and it's very anime but honestly it always works on me.

Been leveling up dark knight, but I bought the level 80 warrior boost because I hate playing with other people and I wanted to solo a bunch of the main scenario raids instead of queueing. Also I'm playing dark knight because aesthetics, and tanking for a group is too much responsibility for me.

Honestly dk kinda sucks compared to paladin and warrior, way less mitigation and self healing, and though it feels like I'm doing more damage it's still not as much as a pure dps.

Also bought a bunch of clothes on the shop in a moment of weakness, but now my outfit is so cool I don't want to change into anything else! And I kinda miss wearing vanilla gear and seeing your outfit change as you pick up upgrades. Oh well atleast I'm cute and it avoids those awkward moments when a piece from a new set doesn't fit with your current fit.

Ffxiv clothing designs are so gorgeous, even the shitty low-level vanilla garbage is kinda cute. Ppl who buy store stuff obviously look good but I have way more respect for the glamours I see where people just got really creative with in-game items. The graphics are like 10 years out of date but the hair and clothes and faces are still miles better than some of biowares stuff (guys I love you I'm on your side let's figure this out you can't just make everyone bald)

Also I've noticed the cuts scene cameras do a trick anime does a lot to cut down animation costs, the framing and panning and angles do a LOT of the work when they otherwise can't get these limited models to emote that much. Or else they just fully cut away and let a sound effect imply an action took place and your brain just fills in the difference.

Anyway I'm addicted and am probably wasting a lot of time on things I should be doing instead but it's nice to have something to hyper fixate on for a while, and I haven't even started SB or EW and I've heard they're both life changing so maybe I'll just glut myself until I've wrung all the dopamine I can out of it.

Also I've realized there is such a jump in writing quality in SB that I'm only really emotionally attached to lyse and hien and the general, the rest of the scions are all kind of... idk unlikable?? They're all the same kind of snarky but not really funny, and speak intelligently but not really with any character or having much to say. Allisae being maybe the exception but I feel like she doesn't get much screen time compared to her brother.

It was very touching that she's the tough prickly one, but very honestly tells you she feels alone and sadly asks you not to leave her in a moment of vulnerability before the fight where she reaches for your hand desperately before her soul is teleported away. Like damn yeah this is manipulative but you got me! I'm invested now!

Also that little crystal cat boy was in arr and I never finished/paid attention to his quest line so idk how he ended up i SB, guess I'll find out.

[cloudy-em]

we'll make it work - spencer reid x fem!reader

i've had a really busy week and i'm in need of some relaxing time. i find writing generally pretty relaxing. this one may not be too good because this is more of a vent post and living vicariously through my writing as opposed to putting thought into it, but i figured i'd post anyways. feel free to view my pinned post (mobile or desktop) or click the compass icon (desktop) for my masterlist + all of my important links :)

Spencer had invited me to join the team for dinner at Rossi's after I had complained about not being social enough. As a CIA agent who is often sent abroad to consume and collect news sources from various countries and analyze them, having a social life isn't exactly my top priority.

Spencer and I had meant a couple of years ago at a bookstore when he'd turned a corner too quickly, accidently pushing me into a shelf. We had a good laugh about it and ended up talking for hours when he realized I held a copy of Any Human Heart. We remained friends, and my partner and I had even helped Spencer's team catch an unsub when she tried to leave the US and go to Budapest. We only grew closer from there. It's funny how the simplest mistakes can bring people together.

I had yet to meet Spencer's team officially; the Budapest situation ended with my partner and I returning the unsub to the US and simply handing her off to Spencer's team. There was no time or need for introductions.

As Spencer and I walked up to Rossi's rather extravagant front door, I found myself growing nervous. This team was like a family, and I was going to be the one weird tagalong.

Spencer rang the doorbell, and a beaming blonde wearing a bright pink dress opened the door. Her appearance alone made me smile - she looked like she was kind and happy, and she reminded me of the dolls I'd see in shop windows.

"Spencer's here!" she turned to yell into the house before waving her hands wildly to invite us in. As she shut and locked the door behind us, she turned to me and smiled. "My name's Penelope, and you must be Y/N! Spencer talks about you all. the. time. I'm so glad to finally meet you. Come on, let's go meet the rest of the team!" she all but grabbed my hand and dragged me towards a large kitchen, where the rest of the team stood nursing white wine as an older gentleman instructed them on cooking pasta.

"-remember, we always salt your pasta water before boiling it. The water should be salty like the sea! Now that it's been seven minutes, we can remove and drain the pasta," he paused, demonstrating the step he had previously narrated.

The rest of the team nodded. Penelope cleared her throat, "Everyone, Spencer and Y/N are here!" the team smiled, turning to look at the both of us.

"Perfect timing," our chef for the evening said in a welcoming tone. "I'm almost done with the meal. Emily, would you pour the late arrivals their wine?"

A brunette smiled and nodded, gesturing for us to follow her further into the kitchen area. "I'm Emily," she introduced herself to me as she poured one glass of wine, holding it out for me to take before pouring another for Spencer. "I hope you guys had a good evening before coming here," she said, looking at Spencer with a facial expression I couldn't quite describe. Spencer quickly placed his hand on my back, making my cheeks heat up as he mumbled something about being introduced to the rest of the team. We made our rounds and I shook hands with Derek, JJ, and Hotch.

Rossi announced that dinner was ready and directed all of us to his dining room. The meal was delicious; nothing too fancy. It was comforting but still held the flair one would expect from a famous author. The table made small talk at first, discussing weekend plans before we got more comfortable and went more into detail about our personal lives. JJ talked about her husband and son, Hotch detailed his experience in teaching Jack how to hit a t-ball, and Derek said he thought his most recent hookup might be going somewhere. Before Spencer or I could even process what was happening, Penelope turned to the two of us, a curious smile splayed across her lips.

"So, how long have you two been dating?" she asked.

It wasn't that I found the idea of dating Spencer unappealing, in fact I found it incredibly appealing. I'd thought about it multiple times. We got along great, we went out together nearly every weekend we both had the time to do something, and we made each other laugh. It was more that the question was so blunt, it caught me off-guard. Thus, I inhaled my wine in shock, immediately choking and tearing up.

Spencer looked between Penelope and I in shock, like he was watching everything unfold three steps behind everyone else.

"Are you not going to help your choking girlfriend, loverboy?" Derek asked in a teasing tone.

Spencer quickly reached up to rub my back and help my body calm down from its response to having wine in the lungs before making a quiet, yet firm, statement.

"She's not my girlfriend."

I had to pretend it didn't hurt, but I'm sure in a room full of profilers, they could all see right through me. Spencer and I were friends, and I was thankful for that, but I had always hoped it might be something more. I took a deep breath, listening as the conversation shifted to make the atmosphere less awkward. I finished my meal and thanked Rossi, announcing that I was tired after my last flight from Geneva. I bid everyone a good night, put my plate in the sink, and found myself on the stairs on Rossi's front porch, turning around as I heard the door open behind me.

"Hey, I figured I'd walk you home," Spencer said, voice soft and unsure. I nodded silently as a sign that I was giving him permission to do so. We walked down the sidewalk together, the tension in my shoulders probably giving notice of my stress.

"What's up?" Spencer asked suddenly, but it sounded more like a statement. Like an, "I know something's up, so tell me before I figure it out for myself", although knowing him, he'd probably already figured it out. I shrugged. "Well, something changed at dinner. You were all smiles and conversation and then it's like a rubber band snapped," he let out a puff of air, signaling that he meant it in a light-hearted way.

I didn't answer.

"The team liked you," he paused. "Like, really liked you."

I got frustrated with his awkwardness; why couldn't he just say the words? He's glad we're friends, he's sorry they asked if we were dating, whatever. Rip the band-aid off.

"Yeah, I could tell, Spencer," I said, colder than intended. "They thought I was your girlfriend, that's how much they liked me. Self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever." Spencer tilted his head, confused.

"I'm not sure that's self-fulfilling prophecy, I mean you didn't convince yourself of something so much that you let it happen, they just assumed something that was incorrect-" he began to ramble.

"Shut up, Spencer! God, don't you see that I like you? That I've been hoping you'd just fucking ask me out? But we're both busy people who have hard lives and you're a genius who's fantastic and solves crimes, and I'm me who's essentially a walking database of foreign newspapers!" I let out some of my feelings, not even realizing what I'd said. "It wouldn't work out between us anyways because we're good friends and I appreciate that and I'd always hoped we'd be more but it's okay, I know it won't work, so let's just move on and sleep it off-"

"We'll make it work."

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

If I recall correctly you are on the 'trans/nonbinary identities are mental illness' wagon, and I wanted to know your perspective on why claims like that cause extremely negative reaction. I remember I used to react very negatively myself a year ago or so until I analysed that actually there is nothing wrong with mental illnesses to BEGIN with, so claims like that should not be hurtful? A thing I can think of is that term 'mental illness' automatically suggests need to 'heal' it, but that's also not true. For example autism and ADHD are also mental illnesses, but they are not supposed to be "healed", nor CAN be healed, it is just a different way of brain to work. Saying that about genders is also not supposed to automatically invite misgendering; again, mentally ill people often need accommodations and some of their requests and boundaries respected, and if someone refuses - THEY are kind of mean (if not straight up ableist), so many people would try to adapt just to be kind and accepting. So, respecting pronouns and name can also count as accommodating in this case, and if you don't do that then YOU are the bad guy here. Same as ignoring boundaries a mentally ill person vocalised makes YOU kinda mean. (of course utopia of everyone respecting everyone will never happen, but we always aspire to be kind and condemn the cynical individualists that refuse simply because)

I am just not sure why as soon as it is suggested for gender, all respect and validation for mental illnesses goes out the window. From what I've seen personally, the "opposition" is rarely ableist beyond using a single slur you know which one (and when they TRY to be, they get destroyed by their cis+het political associates that are autists or people on schizo spectrum. source: check 4Chan demographic). My only guess is crimes that have to do with trying to "fix" it and religious fanatics treating it as being possessed by a demon or something (happens to gays and lesbians too), but it seems like 1) this sort of people will be awful to others regardless of whether they think it is mental illness or not and 2) there is always a percentage that WILL go after more vulnerable ones - if not queer people then other demographics, and it is inherent flaw of humanity that cannot be a problem of only a concrete group. It is not 'society vs trans' issue, it is 'a percentage of society destined to be destructive and people who are weaker or different are the first targets' issue.

Again, not here to debate, and not asking you why you think these identities are mental illness, just questioning a logical error (if not a double standard) that I've been noticing regarding this claim and wonder what's your stance on why suggesting this is considered atrocious after all the (correct) claims that mentally ill people DO deserve love and respect. Like, why this claim is always seen as derogatory and never as value-neutral?

The thing is, I don't actually have any hard and fast rule or belief or explanation for the explosion of people identifying as transgender the past decade or two: it seems obvious a large proportion of the people - particularly teenage girls - are under the influence of social contagion, and another subsection of older males are autogynephiliacs who have found a way to come out of the closet and have their kink applauded instead of mocked by society for the first time.

But then there still remains the much smaller group of people within all that who really do have some sort of genuine gender dysphoria, and we still don't have any conclusive explanation for why that is: is it the brain misfiring and receiving conflicting information because of being exposed to too many of the opposite sex's hormones in the womb? Does it correlate to the introduction of the birth control pill? Would it be better treated the way we treat body dysmorphia, like anorexia or xenomelia, and try to help people find ways to come to terms with the body they see in the mirror, rather than encouraging them to hack bits off it?

I really don't know. Whatever is going on, it's clearly something that needs to be treated seriously, as a genuine medical issue, not a fetish or sexuality, which is why it is so odd it so quickly got bundled in with the LGB movement, where it clearly doesn't fit. I would say one of the reasons even discussing the phenomenon has become such a minefield is that it got wrongly included under that umbrella, which made questioning it as an 'identity' some kind of assault on sexual preference. Which is pretty twisted in itself, when you think about it; like treating bulimia as nothing more than an optional sexual fantasy.

The "ism" part of transgenderism is also a big problem, in that the arguments we are hearing "for" it every day emerged out of idiotic and short-sighted feminist theories back in the 1970s: the teaching that "gender is a social construct". This is not true - the basic gendered division of labor is universal across all societies and all periods of history - but it infiltrated academia, and from there got adopted by the far left as another one of the "identities" they could claim were being oppressed by western civilization, which they sought to destroy.

This is, of course, entirely the wrong way to approach a medical condition people are actively suffering with, but by politicizing transgenderism, it made questioning the narrative surrounding it a political act, and anyone doing so fair game for political attacks, which has had a hugely chilling effect on any open debate over how best to treat the people affected. Again: the worst possible way to treat vulnerable, real-life flesh and blood people seeking help.

Whether gender dysphoria is mental or biological or both in origin, I think that the people suffering from it deserve compassion and help and attempts at understanding. It must be an unimaginable nightmare to wake up each morning and see someone in the mirror you feel is not you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and neither would anyone genuinely living with it.

[illumisplumpcherry]

So when I first came across hunter x hunter, I was enthralled by the storyline. I always appreciated a determined and adventurous main character on their journey to learn more about themselves and build meaningful connections on the way. Gon was so adorable, and his unwavering spirit was infectious.

I came into hunter x hunter in my later years of high school, and I always had this habit of claiming a character or an idol as some sort of relative of mine. I've always been like that. So, in this case, when Leorio was introduced, I immediately deemed him my brother. Gon was already my son(although Kil soon replaced him) and Kuripika had the title of my best friend. And keep in mind, I'm only at episode four.

I just had to stake my claim among my friends, who were also watching it for the first time, of who was mine. Our silly little imaginations made everything more enjoyable in life, including this masterpiece of a show.

So, while I was on the more wholesome side of "claiming" these characters, one of my friends called dibs on someone I found particularly disturbing upon first glance. It was definitely not a wholesome choice on her part. Of course it was Hisoka. It only took me to the end of that episode to understand why she did it. Why she said "Yep. He's mine." He's a fine man...or should I say...magician. I want to say clown but I really try not to disrespect him.

I specifically remember my heart fluttering at the fact that there was some eye candy I could adore in the midst of Gon's adventure. I mean who doesn't love fawning over hot anime guys? Hot men in general. Real and fictional. But the point I'm making is that I didn't go into this show for that. My friend did. She saw clips and knew a little about the show before we started. But I went in blind. Just ready for an epic adventure.

But that alluring latin music often followed by the appearance of said magician continued in each episode following his introduction. Of course I didn't let him distract me too much from the main plot, but I found myself eager to watch more with a different kind of excitement. The kind of excitement that creates those pretty little butterflies in your ovaries.

And so now that the ovaries were involved, there's really no turning back.

My sweet tooth was satisfied watching the dark and twisted deviant of a man, even though he belonged to my dear friend. She did claim him before me. Those are the rules. Nonetheless. I was satisfied with just him, not expecting any more insanely attractive men to appear. That was until...Illumi.

My initial reaction to him was that of disgust because of circumstances surrounding his arrival into the show. I'm all about "villains," but not when they're messing with my son. Killua. See, i was already so attached to Killua as a character, so anyone that opposed him was chopped liver to me. Surprisingly, my ovaries did let me have my initial opinion of Illumi. They let me stew over my supposed hatred of him.

I did eventually find myself being a tad hypocritical, though. How could I swoon over a murderous magician who was fueled purely by his bloodlust but not give the emotionally constipated young man a chance? The young assassin with the most beautiful hair I've ever seen.

So when I did have that talk with myself...I realized that Illumi was it for me. Almost instantly became obsessed and felt somewhat neglected when I didn't see him much throughout the duration of the show.

Again. Wanna clarify this is my favorite anime ever, so I wasn't just there for the hot men...and there were so many hot men that came after him. But I was smitten to say the least.

So here I am, a few years later in the absolute thick of my twenties still fawning over Illumi. Not just him. Adultrio forever. Along with quite a few fictional and real men that have my heart as well.

But I come here on days when I want to escape, and create my own world. And be part of your world as well. So what a better way to do so while making it known to everyone who comes across this tiny little blog who I belong to.

I read. I write. And I took the hunter exam twice.

Anyways, I'm Wren, aka Illumi's plump cherry 🍒

[fallout-lou-begas]

hi lou i was wondering if you had any recommednations as to where to start watching aew... ive only watched a little bit of wwe with some friends so i really have no idea if should start somewhere for Context or just dive right in with wrestling stuff lmao. but all of the pics of aew all out that im seeing are really really horny and it makes me think aew is up my alley. and i trust your opinions implicitly.

All Out 2024 is genuinely the most interested I've been in AEW in a long time because it was really struggling to retain me for the last couple of whiles, so I think my best answer to "where to start watching" is just "now"? like i seriously cannot stress enough how much it seemed like a major shaking off of a lot of funk that's kept me from watching live for a long time; maybe it's literally just because jericho wasn't on the card lmfao. i REALLY hope that they can keep up the momentum and it's not just a fluke, though

I don't consider myself particularly knowledgable or well-read about wrestling, I'm a admittedly a little myopic and maybe just a really horny dilettante, but what I recommend is finding a guy or a girl you like, and getting obsessed with them and looking through their backlog of matches just to see where it takes you, and maybe find other guys to get obsessed with through that. to be as brief as possible, here's just three of my own favorites and some pointers:

Kris Statlander: literally any of her pay-per-view matches after returning at double or nothing 2023. her whole history with Willow Nightingale especially is just amazing television, including their various tag team stints, like this personal favorite match against Mercedes Martinez & Diamante back when Collision. The reason that Kris and Willow clashing in a street fight at All Out was so significant was because these two are the street fight QUEENS, they've done 2-versus-2 street fights against the aforementioned Mercedes and Diamante, Julia Hart and Skye Blue, etc. before, and all of these are worth looking up.

Eddie Kingston: his journey through the Continental Classic tournament of late 2023 and early 2024 culminating in a grand finals match against Bryan Danielson at Revolution 2024 was something really goddamn special. The Stadium Stampede at All In 2023 is also lots of fun, he comes out bloody with a gas can and just looks sooooooo good

Bryan Danielson: he's world champion right now (incredible match against also-incredible previous champion swerve strickland at All In 2024) and obviously has no shortage of amazing matches across his very long history, but my introduction to live AEW was watching him TEAR through banger match after banger match on Dynamite from January to March 2023 (konosuke takeshita! bandido! timothy thatcher! brian cage! rush! literally so many different KINDS of wrestling) in the build-up to a 60-minute iron man match against then-champ, then-much-more-entertaining MJF at Revolution 2023, so check that out

Wait wait wait actually an honorable mention goes to FTR vs Bullet Club Gold 2-out-of-3-Falls, from July 15 2023, also from back when Collision was good. I love those wet freaks in the bang bang gang so much oh my god

[thessalian]

Thess vs Trigger Warnings

This may be a strange title for this one, but I promise you it's relevant. So: Neil Gaiman.

I haven't really said anything about the things that have been coming out about Neil Gaiman lately. I've reblogged a few things, but haven't put my tuppence in, as it were. I'll say this, though - I was a little bit put off by Neil Gaiman before any of this came out. Not because of most of his previous work, or anything he said or did as a person, exactly. It was because of a short story compilation of his titled Trigger Warning. Or, more specifically, the introduction to that compilation, because I haven't actually been able to bring myself to read the book, specifically because of the introduction.

Yeah, I am the sort of person who reads introductions. I write, so I'm interested in what writers think about the things they've written. I picked up Trigger Warning as an impulse buy when I went to Greenwich a few months ago, and read through half the introduction ... and then I had to put it down, because ... well. It's complicated, but I'll try to explain.

The book is titled Trigger Warning, so it makes sense that the concept of trigger warnings in general would come up in the introduction. The thing is ... the tone was dismissive. On one level, he said he was "warming to" the concept of the trigger warning taken beyond stuff on the internet. On the other hand, he stated that he felt the only trigger warning anything adults are reading should need is "read at your own risk". Which on one level is kind of fair, but on the other ... how can you judge the risk if you don't have any specifics? Does he expect people to go through life constantly braced for things they literally cannot handle? That they should be braced for a panic attack every time they pick up a book?

I know this kind of thing fairly intimately, because I do actually have a trigger. Not just something that gives me the ick - an actual trigger of the PTSD variety. I have issues with the more culty sort of Christian faiths, because I was stuck in one for a little while. My father wanted me and my eventual-stepbrother out of the house on Sundays, and during the summer holidays, and basically all the time - even though I only saw him every second weekend and two weeks every summer, and my time with just my father was already hugely limited, which is another issue. Anyway, he sent us to a local Anglican church (Church of England, Episcopalian, take your pick) - for Sunday school, for day camp ... and, one year, for a two-week sleepaway camp. And it was hell. Prayers six times a day, and we're talking hellfire-and-brimstone here. When our tent group's counsellor had her day off, we ended up with this guy who spent the entire day preaching more hellfire and wound up telling each and every girl in our group why we were going to hell. Two of them? It was apparenly because they didn't speak English. Which is ridiculous and horrible because a) this was Montreal and a whole lot of people spoke French as their primary language, and b) JESUS DIDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH. I'm not even sure that English as we know it existed at that time. Anyway, the worst of it came one day when this little kid was having some serious hyperactivity issues, and he was being loud and disruptive and clearly upset by everything going on. They took him away, and we didn't see him for the rest of the day. But that night, I woke up and looked out our cabin window and there was a big bonfire lit outside ... and there that kid was, tied to a chair, with a bunch of the camp staff dressed in white sheets, waving crosses at him and apparently performing some kind of exorcism. The kid was probably scared out of his mind. I wasn't much better. I was too scared to talk to the counsellors about it, but I did sneak into the office and called my father - it was still my time with him, y'see. I tried to explain but I guess he thought I was lying or exaggerating, and he said it was just a few more days and to stick it out. So I did. Went back to his place after it was over, and when Mum called to find out how my first experience of sleepaway camp went, I said, "It was okay, I guess ... except for the exorcism". My mother went veeeeery quiet and asked me to explain exactly what I meant by that, and I told her, and in that tone that anyone who's ever had a mother knows: "...put. Your father. On. The phone." I went two rooms away and I could still hear her yelling at him down the phone. I never went back - not to the Sunday school, not to the day camp, and certainly not to the sleepaway camp.

I never trusted churches again either. Mum thought sleepaway camp was a great idea for me, since she was busiest in the summer months and didn't want me to get bored or lonely, and I freaked out about the camp she was talking about at first because it was a YMCA-run camp and even the word Christian sent me into a panic. (It turned out okay; we were promised it was non-demoninational, and I tried it for two weeks, and it was so much fun that I went all summer every summer for years after, but you get the point.) Touring Paris was ... less than fun because a lot of the things to see involved churches and I didn't even like going into Notre-Dame Cathedral - I got through that by telling myself it was more like a Disney exhibit than anything else, which I know is probably disrespectful but it was the only way I could cope. I've been doing better - while a couple of heavily religious types I knew at one point kind of reinforced my issues, a fair few others have taught me to at least not recoil at the first mention that someone is Christian. But some things will set me off and I can't entirely help it.

So when my then-boyfriend tried to get me to watch Carnivale, I was interested ... but I didn't know how heavily Southern Baptist Fervent God-Fearing Bible-Bashing whatever it was going to be until I sat down and was confronted by that kind of thing in the first few minutes. I left the room. I had to. I couldn't listen to that. It took awhile to calm down, and I did apologise, but I never watched it, even when the then-boyfriend reassured me that the narrative went past that after awhile. But by contrast, I did watch Midnight Mass. I knew from the name and the gifsets that it would be heavily about religion, and probably get a little culty, and it was triggering ... but I could handle it because I had known what I was in for and I was prepared for it. I had my trigger warning - not an overt one, but enough to know what I was letting myself in for and make the decision about whether or not I was willing to risk it. I knew to brace myself in a way I didn't for Carnivale.

So for someone to say that the only trigger warning adult fiction should need is "experience this at your own risk" ... it says things to me. It says that he doesn't understand how much specifics help. I can read about SA and murder, but I can't read about certain kinds of religious ... stuff. Other people would be fine with reading about cults but would be triggered by even a mention of SA. Or car accidents, or anything military, or even too many holes. You can't have a one-size-fits-all trigger warning because one size does not fit all. It seems unfair to expect everyone who has even the slightest bit of trauma to be constantly braced when they pick up a book, or switch on their TV, or whatever. We have to do that enough in the world. Sure, sometimes we read to confront things we can't cope with, because a book is a controlled environment and we can shut the book and walk away if we stop being able to cope. But we either have to know that the specific trigger is there, or we have to be peering carefully around every narrative corner every time we do this thing that is supposed to be entertainment, relaxation, and most of all escapism in case our trigger is lurking somewhere. And some people can't even do that because they may not even recognise that they have trauma or a phobia until they're confronted with it.

I guess it just suggested to me that Neil Gaiman was looking at trigger warnings the way a few too many people seem to these days - as something that exists to homogenise entertainment and keep it 'clean' or whatever. This seems to erase the people who have genuine trauma, who shouldn't be forced to be confronted with their trauma during their leisure time if they don't want to. And hell, even people who are just a bit squicked out by certain things - they deserve the chance to say, "Not right now; I'm not in a frame of mind where I want to deal with this". Why is that so hard to understand?

Anyway, he finished the introduction with, "This is your trigger warning - upsetting things will be in these stories". Yeah, fine; which ones?!? Again, it felt dismissive. It felt like, "If you're so sensitive, maybe you shouldn't be here", even after stating he was "warming to" the concept of trigger warnings outside of the internet. For someone who understands the power of words on that scale, that feels like a double-standard or a "I'm an ally to this cause but don't you dare apply this to me" bit of hypocrisy. He actually came out and stated, "I wonder if someone will slap a trigger warning on my books. I wonder if they should". YES, PROBABLY. And saying, "Fine, I'll do it myself - Here Be Triggers" is insufficient, and insultingly backhanded.

I liked to hope that he was offended about triggers because of the various things in his work that the alt-right tend to attack. Or that he was worried about any remarks about transphobia as seen in A Game Of You (which there was a little, though that was more a comment on the transphobia of Dianic Wicca and the world at large than his own views). But being told, "There is Triggering Stuff in here and that's all you really get" ... no. While he does do what some authors do - discusses the themes of each story in the pages following the introduction ... it wasn't enough.

So ... yeah, I was a little off Neil Gaiman as a person before ... all of this, frankly. It still surprised and horrified me, sure, but I guess it didn't hit as hard as it could have. That one thing just ... I guess I figured that if someone was so careless and dismissive about the potential for triggering trauma ... maybe he really would be willing to cause it if it benefitted him. It still makes me sad and horrified, but I'm not as shocked as I might have been, I guess?

I may never read Trigger Warning. But I am still going to watch the Sandman series on Netflix. There's more to that series than him anyway. A part of me wonders if Pratchett knew. I really hope that the answer to that is "no". Gaiman being a shithead I can take; but not Pratchett, please.