#i should just go downtown so i can actually find good stuff that’s not urban outfittters depop bullshit….

[francisforever2014]

i have to go shopping today 🤢🤢👎👎👎👎👎 i hate shopping 😭😭😭

[themousefromfantasyland]

The Yule Man (5/7)

Told by ME

This was meant to be a short story, but it became too big, so I separated it in seven parts. I want to turn my blog in a space where I can share my writting every once and a while.

This is the first time I post one of my stories on a public space. This is the first time anyone besides my sister will be able to read, so I'm pretty exciting and anxious. I want honest criticism. I hope you all enjoy it.

On the Solstice Eve of that year Chris arrived back in Arnsberg close to the old bridge. Once again, he dressed in a long fur coat and dirty beggar clothes, carrying an old bag. He touched his face and discovered his shaggy beard hadn't changed at all. Deep down he still had hoped things to be different.

The town changed even more from the last time. Entire neighborhoods seemed to have withered away. Filthy tenements with shattered windows and people dressed no better than him. Beggars and homeless children scattered everywhere. Pain and sorrow stamped on everyone's faces.

"What happened here?"

He walked faster as he could until he reached a church in a better part of the town. Exhausted, he rested leaning on a statue of the Silver God. As soon as he saw him, the priest shoved him away as a dog. Somethings never change at all.

He wandered in those streets, until an old woman stopped him. She looked exactly like the grandmas in Sophia's picture books.

"You're the Yule Man, right? I know her." The old woman chuckled. "She told me if I saw you, I should send you to this address."

And she gave him the address and went her own way.

"Mia?" He looked to the piece of paper in his hands.

The address lure him to a small building downtown. Candlesticks illuminated the windows. Rows of holly and mistletoe were hanged through it with care. The sign in the door announced the place to be closed, yet they forgot the door open.

A huge man dressed in all black from the head to the toe stepped out of the store. On his way out he bumped with Chris.

"Happy Yuletide!" He took off his bowler hat to greet him, when Chris thought he saw all the evil of the world in his eyes.

He then disappeared in the mundane crowd. Chris entered the store, without knowing what he had saw.

Still confused, he called:

"Is anyone here?"

He saw full-body mirrors, measure tapes and cushions lying on the floor. Pieces of fabrics were scattered everywhere. Some carefully sorted and saved in shelves and cabinets. Others dropped over wooden tables. Someone had engraved dozens of needles on the heads of the mannequins. That unsettled him.

A woman in a purple dress shirt turned to him from the balcony. Seeing her face drove all his fear and worries away. In what seemed like the interval between seconds, he jumped to her arms, which closed tight around his body. He had returned to Mia.

He glared at her. She didn't look like the rich girl he had met. Her clothes showed simplicity this time. Modest and simple. A purple coat and skirt, covering a blue waistcoat.

She served him a cup of hot cocoa. She knew exactly what would fill him with happiness and made him warm. By the look in his face, she did it right again. She brought him to a small apartment over the store. The place stroked as tiny, yet still cozy and not uncomfortable at all. Chris saw a moderate Yule tree with some Yule Goats around, and he knew Mr. Hayek lived there.

They sat by her blue coach. He made a silly face that said to her. "C'mon, tell me what happened."

She took a sip from her teacup and started.

"After the Yule, I took my part in father's inheritance and left the shrew alone." She told him, and both on that room felt deep pride for her.

There was a sense satisfaction in her face. He loved finding that in her. Chris managed to smear himself with the drink and it made her happy.

"You're a tailor now?" He teased her.

"Being a writer wouldn't work out for me." She smirked.

She gave him a white blouse.

"Dress it."

From the bathroom he came as handsome as she remembered him. Mia struggled to keep her good form.

"I didn't say to shave the beard. You can keep if you want."

"I don't want!" He winked to her.

She continued telling him her year.

"I bought this place from an old woman. She wanted to retire and pass more time with her family. She actually helped a lot setting all this up."

He turned to her.

"Was she the woman who bring me here?"

"Possibly." Mia gestured with her shoulders. "I told everyone that I knew that if they saw you, they should give you the address of this place."

"And who was that man I saw getting out of the store. He creeped me out."

Mia grew quiet. She exhaled. Talking about him never brought her any pleasure.

"It would be Franz Müller, the Cat’s-eye. He's a loan shark who thinks a lot about himself. Each month me and all business in the neighborhood have to pay his fees. Don't think much about him, most of the time he just takes the money and leave us alone.

The question frightened Chris.

"What happened to the town?"

Mia shut her eyes.

"Economic crisis, and my father can't help them this time."

"What about the ball in the Hayek’s mansion?"

She raised her voice to him.

"Which ball!"

That sudden change of mood made him jump out of his place.

"Sorry, mother closed the gates of the mansion to the town. She's still rich. Made a deal with my father's business partners. She guaranteed hers but forgot about everyone's else." She said full of deep resentment.

"I kind learned this by myself because you. I don't want to brag, but I'm good at this." She continued. "I bought this place. Learned a trade. Started to work."

"So, you're a working-class woman now?" He smirked.

"It's what it looks. I still have part of my father's inheritance. And with the work I got I can sustain myself quite comfortably for quite a while."

Night had come. Chris released his bag over her terrace, filling the sky with the magical snowflakes. All the town saw the light and cold dash up into the clouds. Billions of ice crystal dancing and flowing through the air. Mia never got tired of seeing that scene.

She launched the Yule Log into her simple fireplace, and they both sat close by it.

"I want to give you something."

She gave Chris a box. A beautifully wrapped present.

"Happy Yuletide." She couldn't wait to see his reaction.

He opened the box. A tiny bottle full of shiny white sand inside, and little seashells keeping it in good company. He knew exactly where they were from. His eyes filled themselves. He started to cry, to sob even, and still laugh of happiness. He hugged her, and he didn't let her go. His first Yule present ever.

They sat on that place for hours, and still hadn't ran out of things to say to each other.

"Your mother?" He asked.

"Still angry with me. After a time, I stopped trying to save our relationship. It wasn't worth it in the end. I still get to see my siblings. Will take them to Yulesing tomorrow. Without the Solstice Eve Ball, I worry how they will spend the holidays."

Mia explained to Chris how things had got different. This year she couldn't take him to party through Arnsberg.

"I don't care. I only want to be near you."

They stayed hours doing completely nothing. They enjoyed each other's conversation and company in general. The cold was the best sensation ever and the room was as cozy as it could be.

In the end of the night Chris tasted Mia's lips. She had thought they would never come to that. She led him to her room, where she felt his body in hers. Soft, tender, perfect.

They stayed in bed hugged to each other. Through the window in the wall opposite to them they could see the snow slowly dressing the world in white.

"I love you." She said resting her head on his chest.

He felt physical pain saying that:

"This isn't love. It's just a romantic fantasy. What you have for me isn't real. I'm not real. You can't love a person you only spend thirteen days within the whole year." He forced a small laugh.

Her mouth twitched.

"I can if it's true love."

His forehead puckered.

"You don't have to put up with me for the rest of the year. We don't go through the same stuff other couples go through. When the holidays are over, I'm gone. I'm won't think, I'm won't feel, I won't remember a thing. I won't be."

"Chris!"

"Sorry. What we got are only moments."

"So, why are you so against enjoying them. In general, everyone's life is just a moment. They live, they die, and it's over. At least I can enjoy a time with you. For me it's already worth it."

He closed his eyes.

"I'm dying to go to Lichthafen City with you."

He gave her a faintly smile. The room then became quiet.

In the next day they went to take the Hayek children to Yulesing. Mia knew very well that Chris loved it more than the children. Her siblings were nothing more than an excuse for doing that. Yet, he loved her siblings. They stayed with them for half of their days together. They had fun.

In the other half they stayed alone in Mia's apartment over her tailoring shop. Cuddling in her bed, eating sweets, and watching the world through that window. Best days ever, for both of them.

The Yule Log turned to ashes. Time to go again, and again in the next year he returned, in the exact same manner. Time passed, and he left, and left, and still returned to her. Each year, thirteen days only.

Chris watched the town change and change around him, and only he stayed the same. In a wink of time, Sophia, Fritz and Thomas started to leave childhood. How much that stroked pain in him. Even Mia started to look more like his older sister than his lover.

Poverty spread through the town as if a disease. Good and respectable neighborhoods crumbled to ruins before his eyes. Organized crime and urban violence turned Yulesing a thing of the past. Mr. Müller became much more than a simple loan shark.

Everything changed, less him.

[raleighliving]

Pros and Cons of College Life in Raleigh

Last time I wrote about colleges in Raleigh generally and how it’s not like other college towns. This time, I’m gonna be speaking a bit more about the pros and cons so it should be a little more specific.

Before that, however, I wanna make this clear: Raleigh is not somewhere you should move to for college unless the school you’ve applied to is your dream school.  

In terms of academics, there are better choices than NC State or WPU. If you wanna study biology or medicine, schools like UNC-W or Duke would probably be a better fit for instance. If you live in Raleigh, don’t pick a school just because it’s close; if you live in another part of the states and you want to attend an east coast school there are options all along the east coast that you should consider.  

Raleigh is a great place to live and work, and there are plenty of friendly people here; but a degree from the right university can make or break your career (depending on the field and other aspects of course).

As a person suffering from anxiety, the question “Do you want the good news or bad news first” has always been a terrible one for me. Up until I hear the bad news, it could be literally anything regardless of what the person asking was doing or how much of the task they were on I’m familiar with.

Similarly, living in Raleigh (or really anywhere for that matter) is going to present a lot of subjective pros and cons. Please keep in mind this is gonna be super subjective, but I hope you enjoy reading this even if we disagree.

But you didn’t come here to read three paragraphs of disclaimer. So lets start by listing the good stuff.  

Raleigh is a city full of vibrant color, culture, and cool shit. You can find cool things almost anywhere you look, regardless of where you are in Raleigh. I mean, all of the pictures (including those in this article) I use for this blog I’ve taken in Raleigh or nearby it. As a result, the first pro has got to be the beltline highway system.  

The beltline is a highway system composed of I-440, I-40, and parts of I-540 that encapsulates all of Raleigh. It connects north and south Raleigh while having downtown in the center, letting travelers easily reach nearly any part of Raleigh. 

I’ve lived on the border of Durham, Cary, and Rolesville at different points in my life. I’ve had to make trips to Garner and Apex for various reasons. At no point in my 20+ year stay have I ever had to make a city trip that lasted longer than a half-hour (one way). It makes working in Raleigh especially easy, since the abundance of highway access points and the convenience of the loop design means I’m never too far from that loop. 

It even helps with adjusting to your new environment if you move here (for school or other reasons) since if you’re ever lost, the highways can act as a point to re-orient yourself by. I know I’ve had to do it plenty of times in the past, and it can really save you from looking like an idiot if you excuse your lost-ness by just saying “Oh yeah mate, I was just tryna get on the highway. Saves so much time.”

Does this mean Raleigh has the best transportation network of any city? Hell no. Does this mean that Raleigh has the best highway system? Not even close. But it’s still super nice, especially for students. You’ll run into the problems any urban place has like rush hour or crash delays, but this is mitigated by the fact you’ll be using it for our second pro: Everything happens in Raleigh. 

Well, not EVERYTHING everything but as I’ve ranted about before; there’s plenty to do and see in the city of Raleigh (even if you’re a student). 

For instance, according to raleighnc.gov, Raleigh is home to over 200 public parks. Not a fan of parks? Into more electronic entertainment? Then visit our very own “Arcade of Thrones” downtown and get your game on with your fellow nerds

Boring stuff like restaurants and night clubs aside, Raleigh is home to literally thousands of businesses and social clubs for you to partake in. Farmers markets, gun and knife shows, fishin’ holes and public church barbecues are available for that classic southern charm; but don’t forget to make use of our barcades, art festivals, concerts, comedy clubs and sport centers. 

The only reason why I’m not going into more detail about examples like First Friday, the downtown cultural festivals, PNC arena or other more specific events is because I want to write about them in-depth in the future.  

Of course, students having things to do and places to go is only part of the college experience. If you’re gonna come to Raleigh for college, the best pro I could possibly mention is the support network.  

Not to say that we’re exactly all one big happy family here, but in Raleigh you get that nice blend of metropolitan city life with your rural state. Orgs like the LGBT Center, Goodwill, Raleigh Missions, and more support locals in need constantly and provide for the many different groups around here.

Libraries and civic centers share the same city as mosques and churches which neighbor women's shelters and LGBT+ advocacy groups. If you’re a republican or democrat, that’s fine but be prepared to meet the other members of the political spectrum since groups like the Democratic-Socialists of America (DSA) are active downtown as well.

If you need help or want to help others, there’s a 98% chance that you’ll find someone or something out there that meets your needs. Join a community through Facebook or Nextdoor and you’ll see every diaper drive, garage sale, and community recommendation pop up whenever one is needed.

Of course, this brings us to our first con. Raleigh may be home to some of the nicest people I’ve ever met but it doesn’t mean you won’t run into some problem people sooner or later.  

There’s of course the typical collegiate douchebags, the upper-middle class young scions of no import who fumble through life with no regard for others because mommy and daddy will perpetually care for them, but being a red state you’ll also run into the more colorful republicans.

Every year there’s an anime convention called “Animazement” downtown and every year there’s a small herd of fundamentalist Christians warning all the otaku who’ll listen that they’re going to hell. Drive around town long enough and you’ll find a few different businesses that have made their opinions on things like masks and social distancing clear, not to mention there’s no shortage of QAnoners and alt-right sympathists. 

Of course, you shouldn’t let others dictate the quality of your life or the area you live in but you should be aware that these people exist. Raleigh is more liberal than other parts of North Carolina for sure but it’s not the leftist paradise those other parts would say it is.

Other than the coinflip that is neighbors, Raleigh is kind of a pricy place to live. The cost of living is on average higher than other cities in the US, cheaper still than New York of Californian cities, but pricey nonetheless.

Rent in Raleigh for a one bedroom apartment is on average $975 according to bestplaces.net and can go as high as $1200 depending on the complex and location. 

That, with a federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour, means you’ll need 

>Multiple jobs >Multiple roommates >A good paying job

or any combination of the two to be able to afford rent, utilities, and food beyond cup ramen. There’s housing programs like Section 8 and military housing initiatives to help, but for students you’re looking at some pretty steep housing costs for anywhere that’s not student dorms. 

You can get a good job that pays decent, of course, nothing’s impossible. However, finding one that won’t require roommates would demand full time hours (which might be difficult to make on student scheduling) or a degree (which you’re probably at college to get). Most living spaces require you make at least 3x the advertised rent to even be considered as well, which may limit students to seedier student living complexes like University Village or The Proper (Formerly Vie, formerly wolf creek).

Finally, if you move to Raleigh for college be prepared to drive. A lot.

As I mentioned earlier, the beltline is a god send for students and people looking to explore; but it’s also practically mandatory for moving around Raleigh. Public transit in Raleigh isn’t non-existent but it’s pretty damn close.  

Live between 10-15 minutes from your desired destination? Taking the bus is gonna be anywhere from half an hour to a full hour, and that’s if you even live near a bus route. If you’re like myself and habitually on the edge of Raleigh, be prepared to drive for a bit before you even see a GoRaleigh bus let alone a stop. 

The buses do at least run pretty late (Closing normally around 11PM), but the lack of public transit lines and bike-able roads means that you’ll be adding to the urban congestion more likely than not.

Okay with driving? Hope you’re okay with paying another arm and a leg, because at most schools down here tuition doesn’t cover your parking pass. 

NC State prices range from $105 to over $400 depending on your credit hours and where you’re staying at. Other schools like William Peace only charge a flat $130 for their parking decal, but most of the schools require you throw them an extra Apple Pencil or two for the privilege of being able to park your own vehicle close to the actual campus.

There are workarounds, like parking off-campus nearby, but those carry risks and penalties that can add up over time. The audacity these schools have to take thousands in tuition and then demand that you pay and additional fee to just use the parking lot.

Hopefully, though, regardless of my thoughts if you live in Raleigh or North Carolina in general and you’re considering attending one of the fine establishments here; I’ve provided you some food for thought. 

College can be a scary experience for many, and the area around it can really make or break your experiences. We don’t have the biggest party schools or the most glamorous cityscape; but if I had to go through the collegiate system again I honestly couldn’t imagine doing it anywhere else.

Next time I’ll be talking about some alternatives to College though, so stay tuned for that.  

Special shout out to the DSA of Raleigh as well. They didn’t help write any of this or communicate with me during the production of this article, but they’ve been doing some amazing work downtown with the homeless during the pandemic.  They are some of the most amazingly hard working individuals who care immensely for the community and you can check them out on dsanc.org.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 15: Yami Joins the Bay Area Tribe By Throwing a Riot About Sports on Caltrain

So as you’ve probably guessed because of my lack of posts--I got kinda busy with life stuff and just got hit with this really nasty flu at the same time. Yes, I am in a Coronavirus-affected area but no, I don’t have it and I am not dying (although I did do the right thing and quarantined myself anyway, much like a whole lot of the Bay who are just...working from home. Traffic’s been great.) It’s just that every January/February I tend to fall apart and get the flu so bad I lose my voice for 5 days. This year was 6 days. I just catch the flu a lot, but at least I get my shots so it’s not as bad as it would have been.

So, I took a hell ton of Nyquil and Dayquil and while I’m...functional...I don’t know if any of this make sense. So forgive my rambling. I usually ramble, today I’ll be like...hella rambling. About TRAINS.

So anyway, Lets talk about Yugioh.

Lets board a Californian train!

Yugioh has decided that out of every vehicle they’ve devoted episodes to--they haven’t done trains yet, so it’s train time. Train time...in America...which is not a great place for trains. Like I never really think about it but...people take the freakin Greyhound over trains. Which is wild, guys, the Greyhound is...it’s a state of mind. We ignore trains so much.

It’s just really funny that they left Japan to go to America to ride a train when it’s like...the show takes place...in Japan. The land of wonderful trains. But wtv, they wanted ye Old Western experience.

Anyway, Rebecca really wanted to go on the train with them, but everyone pretty much decided that children were no longer safe on this trip with Yugi and co. The fact that Yugi and co are also children is something I guess we decided to push under the rug. I mean Duke Devlin has a freakin job and a work Visa at 17 so...that’s adult enough, right?

(*in a very Roaring Camp Railroad Commercial voice, and over the dulcet sounds of a banjo* More TRAINS under the cut!)

And then Arthur decided to just really grill it into Yami for some reason.

I think it was mostly to act as a recap but damn, Arthur Hawkins just really seems to hate Yami for killing Yugi. Anyway, lets get a good look at our train.

Surprisingly for this show, they decided not to put us on the Roaring Camp Railroad through the Santa Cruz Mountains, instead, they put us on an actual legit commuter train, and it blew my mind because...it’s the CALTRAIN.

That’s my train! What’s my Caltrain doing in Yugioh!?!?

They even got the paint job right! This is absolutely the Caltrain!

We never update this train. So yes, it still looks like this over 10 years later. It’s very underfunded.

+++THIS IS TRAIN FACTS FEEL FREE TO SKIP TRAIN FACTS+++++

So the Caltrain was originally privately owned tracks--which is how they are really nicely laid out--a private company bought everything/pushed out the old owners before the place got developed. When trains went under, the tracks were purchased by the State and then given to Amtrack to manage. So, Caltrain is strictly property of the State Government but still run by the Federal Government at the same time. Don’t ask me how it works, I don’t know, I just pay my taxes and it goes vroom.

We’ve wanted to extend the Caltrain down to Southern California for a very long time, but because of corruption and a lot of people in politics refusing to expand the Bay out of the fear of maybe dropping our housing prices to reasonable limits, and the fear of making it way too feasible to get more children to Disneyland, the track has stayed roughly the same length for over 40 years.

Overall, It’s less drive time than this duel that takes up this next arc, I’m pretty sure. I’m gonna guess that the duel will be 3 episodes long because c’mon. This is Yugioh. It’s always 3 episodes long, like a Nintendo boss.

Anyway, all these train facts are things that are probably so weird and foreign to places that have ample trains--but in America, we just don’t have a strong train lobby compared to our auto lobby. So, I’m sure that people in Japan making this series thought “Oh they’re on a train--it can just go forever because why wouldn’t it be long? Aren’t all American trains connected?” but uh...it’s a short train. Like we’re talking like a few hours max, and that’s only if they’re starting from Gilroy.

I will say that BART is longer and has multiple tracks, so you would think they’d just take BART instead. But, it goes under the ocean for part of it, and we’ll get to why that would have been a very big problem in this episode later. Also, BART is very gross and no one wants to animate that outside of a horror movie.

But at least they didn’t go way out of left field and take the SF trolley. The Caltrain does actually go pretty fast. It...kind of makes sense. They did actual research into a real thing that we do have.

++++END RANT ABOUT THIS TRAIN AND HOW NONE OF THIS EPISODE MAKES SENSE BUT IT’S YUGIOH SO I WILL IGNORE THAT++++

And youknow...there’s something just so adorable about seeing desert mesas reflected in the window of the Caltrain. It’s just delightful. Because, in reality the entire stretch of the Caltrain is very densely suburban/urban, and the only place where it isn’t surrounded by city is when it’s flanked by the sea.

But yeah, just put mesas on it!

*freakin curtains*

Joey and Tristan hit the “dining car,” which I don’t think is a thing in any form of commuter train. These trains are for trips the length of about 1 extensive Puzzles and Dragons session on your phone, give or take.

(And man, speaking of, the Yugioh PAD collab was so good, guys. Ah man. Been wrecking like every dungeon in multiplayer ever since Bro and I both got a Yugi to put as our leader. He’s basically one of the best leaders in the game right now and I feel like people at PAD were huge Yugioh fans because they were like “what if we made...basically every Yugioh pull into a freakin beast that broke every dungeon in the game?”)

I can’t believe Joey Wheeler went thousands of miles from his homeland and was like “I better drink an American soda” and chose Orange. I mean he might be drinking an Arizona Tea, but I’m pretty sure he thought “ah, Kenan and Kel, right?” and just nabbed the nastiest soda that exists outside of grape.

I feel like I can still taste the orange soda I drank over 20 years ago. It is terrible. It is SO orange. Gross. But at the same time...good? I really don't know with Orange Soda. It’s probably gross.

Meanwhile, Tea decides it’s an appropriate time for Yami to work on his social skills. Now. When he’s visibly grieving after being berated by his Basically-Step-Grandfather and Rebecca.

And then we find out something I’ve never realized before, and it’s that Tea is really bad at social cues. Like maybe even worse than Yami. Like, I dunno how Pharaoh could look more like an angry cat/hedgehog but Tea was not picking up on it.

And y’all I’m not making that up, these are the topics Tea actually came up with for the guy who just saw his best friend die/was very implicit in said murder. Beaches and Bathing Suits.

She got over Yugi being dead like immediately.

Of course, this episode is kind of weird because, much like this show has done so many times already, these guys are still struggling to truly understand that Yugi is two people in one body. Tea sort of comes to this realization as if she...forgot that she has stepped inside his actual head and seen this for herself.

Or maybe it’s denial, but I’m thinking maybe the show did this for the new people coming to the show, to explain a rather complicated thing that took 3 seasons to cement in our minds. But still, it makes Tea seem very forgetful over a guy she should sort of be dating I guess.

Anyway it’s their first real fight. Kind of. I mean it’s hard to tell if anyone on this show is dating, and it’s equally hard to tell if they are fighting, too.

Well, first real fight if you don’t count Zero when Yugi tried to make out with Miho over a card duel, but I think we’re all doing our best to forget that ever happened. Yugi especially.

Or I guess that time she strangled him nearly to death in the nurse’s office when Shadi took over his body. That counts as a fight, right?

Ah. Now we’re on Caltrain.

Don’t take it the wrong way, Caltrain is actually our higher end safe train, compared to our other transit, BART, which will always sit you next to a weirdo, guaranteed. Caltrain--you can take a good nap on Caltrain. BART...you will never feel comfortable enough to take a nap on BART (also because there’s not enough seating room anymore)

But a lot of people who take the train are just freakin WEIRD. I used to take the Caltrain with my older brother (different bro than the bro of this blog, this is my chaotic neutral bro) because we both worked near the same place in downtown SF, and he would always take with him--I kid you not--a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Lightning for a snack.

For those not in the States, Mountain Lightning is the offbrand Walmart version of Mountain Dew. Yes. I know what I said. It seems dumbfounding as Mountain Dew is already an off brand of Sprite--the true lemon/lemon lime--but indeed, like Inception, you can always go deeper, and if there is a soda so bewildering and random, my older brother will be ON IT.

Anyways, my older bro is a train weirdo, so not only does he prefer Mountain Lightning to Mountain Dew, he would take out a 2 liter from his backpack, tilt back his head, and just chug the whole thing straight from the huge ass bottle in front of God and everyone on that train.

He’d polish it off completely on the ride there and the ride back, because my older brother has this weird medical problem where he can’t really feel pain and he has an insane metabolism and never gained weight until he was like 32, so he can just...chug as much soda as he freakin wants. So, at some point of the trip he would have to use the very tiny bathroom, and it would be very urgent, and he’d just scramble over me to get to the aisle and then kind of skip and hop all the way there on the rush hour train that was completely full of people.

Like, most people don’t even know that Caltrain has a bathroom--well now you know, and for several years there, it was just always taken by my brother violently pissing. That was us (well...him). My apologies.

In case your curious, now my bro has hardcore acid reflux, and all he needs to do is stop drinking so much damn soda, but it’s been very hard for him, so he has cut back to “diet soda”. This is still a lot of soda and it still causes acid reflux. His doctor is working on him.

And yes, Diet Mountain Lightning exists. That’s just so many steps removed from Sprite at this point.

Anyways, enough waxing long about train memories, lets get back to the show, because it’s not this season of Yugioh until there’s a problem with the commute.

Unrelated to Pharaoh punching the walls, everyone has “disappeared.”

My bro looked up the Wiki that says there's “no explanation for the missing train passengers” but we all know what that really means on this show, right?

So, how many people fit on Caltrain?

There’s just NO WAY they’re alive anymore, right? Like Yugioh went and killed 756 Bay Area passengers because...it’s a filler season!

I really feel like there’s just no way Seto or Bakura will ever catch up to Darts’ death count at this rate.

After this, we have ourselves this fun train-jumping trope.

Pretty sure it was the superhuman opposing force of Tea jumping from the back train to the front of the train that forced the back to lose all of it’s 100+ mph momentum and immediately come to a full and complete stop.

Not sure how Darts did this thing with the train separating. But he did. Or maybe it was Rex and Weevil? Either way, he somehow managed to do this well enough to strand Joey and Tristan on the other side of the line that now has no engine.

(course I say this like in 1400 AD the Bay wasn’t full of the Ohlone. this place was basically always developed because...the weather’s hella good when it’s not on fire.)

Now if you go East--southern Utah looks like this, and parts of me wonder if maybe the artists thought they were taking the train all the way to Florida. Did the English dub add “we’re taking the train to the airport” because they knew there was no one in their right mind in America who would take a California-Florida train?

I have no other explanation for why the Bay Area looks like this, than to assume that this is an alternate California where there never was a Loma Prieta Earthquake and also one where Seto and Pegasus bought out and destroyed both Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. Which makes Seto and Pegasus sound like just real true heroes, never paving any sort of way for Mark Zuckerberg to happen and unintentionally (or intentionally who knows) screw up our elections.

Or maybe that was entirely Darts? Maybe it was Darts who’s been eating up the Bay, harvesting nerd souls for the leviathan and knowing that no one will miss these Twitter developers if Twitter never happens in the first place. Especially if he’s just ghosting entire Caltrains willy nilly.

But anyway, fun fact about the Caltrain that the creators of this show didn’t know--the train is a push-pull train, so...It has an engine on both sides of the train. Joey and Tristan...still have an engine. It would have never stopped, even with Tea’s incredible backward momentum.

This is normal train stuff and is something you should always assume about a commuter train that cannot afford the time to reattach the locomotive in order to turn around, but we forget about this in TV shows basically all the time.

However, there are fantasy rules that we give to TV that we sort of don’t extend to other places. We suspend our disbelief for things like this train stopping in a track that would, realistically, have another train passing by in 10 minutes anyway. Things like rogue waves that topple over ocean liners. Or CEOs in Silicon Valley who have ass-length blue hair that is tied with one single hair precarious band.

The point at which we no longer can suspend our disbelief when it comes to TV is SO interesting to me. Because I’m fully willing to let go of the fact that Caltrain is A Push-Pull train because it’s still a fun trope although this can never really happen to you on...almost any train at all anymore. But if this were a movie? People would be losing their freakin MINDS. Look what they did after Star Wars. They lost their entire minds over force-field science that doesn’t even exist.

Like, maybe the people who made this episode really do know that San Jose is the 3rd largest city in California, and that this is a push-pull train, and that there are no mesas anywhere near the ocean of San Fransisco. Maybe they did know that--but they decided to suspend our disbelief by pushing this Wild Wild West fantasy aesthetic SO HARD so it makes it believable although this is just...so wrong. Mostly because...it’s fun TV. Not because it makes any sense, but because I would like to have fun instead of thinking.

Which is also how most romance novels work ps. But Yugioh, although *almost* understanding the key ingredient to how romance actually works, I will assume never figures that out.

I hope.

Also, Rex is here.

Bro would like to bring up that Red Eyes is not a rare card in the real world. So Rex is going out of his way to venge a card that costs...$4.50 at Target. That’s less than a meal at McDonalds. This card may have been in a Happy Meal at McDonalds.

*pictured here, the actual canyons of San Jose*

So something that’s interesting between Yami and Joey is that Yami gives in basically immediately and decides to duel Weevil, who would be very easy to just gently push off of this train. Joey on the other hand, looks down at both of his punching fists and is like “why would I bother?”

Not that it mattered, it’s just interesting that even Joey has more restraint than Yami, who has 0 restraint, apparently, when it comes to dueling cards.

Joey has more restraint that Yami, and Joey is the kid who has tried to punch out Seto Kaiba in nearly every conversation he has ever had with Seto Kaiba over the last 4 seasons.

Also, Tea is just standing on top of this train like it’s a completely normal day outside. Girl has no fear.

Wouldn’t these people be covered in bug guts? Like how are they not getting assaulted by so many flies and birds?

But because she has no decent cards the Oricalchos just kicks her out? I dunno. There’s a lot of weird physics in the next scene.

And she just grabs onto a moving train with her bare hands. I feel like Tea is just so woefully overpowered in this group but for the wrong game. I say this a lot. She’s like their One Punch Man but will never, ever know.

So anyway, that was a long time between updates and now I’m out of sync and behind on everything so...hell knows when the next update will be. Depends on the length of episode I guess? Bro really wants to get to what comes next soon though. He’ll pester me until I do it.

Now I can’t mention Mountain Lightning without sharing with you what you do with 2-4 liters of Mountain Lightning after your brother leaves and then just...doesn’t have enough room for all of his Mountain Lightning AND his baby in his car, so he just leaves it in your house.

It’s called Mountain Dew Cake <-(that is a link) and it’s actually pretty damn good.

I made this once and fed it to a British person and they were like “this is so decadent--what’s in this?” and I uh didn’t know how to respond to that other than “it’s really just Mountain Dew, I’m so sorry” and that was a lie, because it was full of Mountain Lightning.

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to read these recaps in order.

[angelic-gravee]

Home Renovation Malaysia

With the plenty of Home and Garden Television Programs presently broadcasting in real time, a large number of us have gotten the "Renovation bug", that baffling want to gut and modify our homes and make our dream home. Regardless of whether you are examining renovating, reestablishing or rearranging your home, basically what you are truly endeavoring to do is to make the correct stage for your day to day routines and the lives of our families and companions.

Changing your home can be a unimaginably charming cycle that liberates your internal imagination while growing our comprehension of ourselves, our families and our yearnings. The way in to an effective renovation can be separated into your arranging, versatility and examination.

Obviously the unavoidable issue everybody asks preceding a renovation is "Will my renovation unleash Havoc on my life and family?" The genuine response to this is "Yes", however regularly in an extraordinary and sudden way! Renovations or redesigning our homes permits us to develop, to study ourselves and to make the best possible setting for our carries on with that we imagine living inside.

HOW TO APPROACH YOUR RENOVATION

o Be Realistic - If you live in a lodge and you're re-trying the storm cellar family room and you love metropolitan space living, 14' roofs and downtown perspectives - you're not going to get it. However, if you need it to have a contemporary pizazz with warmth, provocativeness and edge, at that point that is totally feasible.

o Have a point by point spending plan for your task. - Calculate EVERYTHING from the stray pieces to the silks and light plates. Ensure that your Designer and additionally Contractor recognize what the budgetary roof for each venture and thing is and if you go over on one of them, that it implies you should either scale back somewhere else or acknowledge the expanded financial plan.

o Research the best contractor for you. - Find the best contractor that suits your undertaking, your character and offers your design vision. Try to meet with in any event 3 Designers or Contractors preceding creation a choice.

o Understand holding up times - Custom couches can take up to 12 to 14 weeks. Custom Cabinetry is frequently 10 to about four months - a few textures can take as long as 3 months. Examination your choices so there are no mistaken assumptions.

o Put a positive turn on the cycle - actually there will be badly designed revolting days with no water or no kitchen or both. If you have children make it a pleasant encounter, set up a tent and go outdoors in a zone in the house so it's a good time for them and financial plan for an inn suite for the most exceedingly awful period and have all the revolting pieces done during your nonattendance. Try to think innovatively on how to put the best "turn" on the harsh occasions to your family and yourself.

o Don't perspire the little stuff - If for reasons unknown something is postponed past anybody's desires it won't benefit you in any way to detonate and send your circulatory strain through the roof. On account of the "no show" thing, either reselect the thing or acknowledge that it is postponed. Truly those are the main decisions so make life simpler on yourself (and your family) and figure out how to adjust your design plan (I generally suggest having a back up choice just on the off chance that to forestall losing time and cash).

Obviously before you can start ANY renovation, you need to discover "what your identity is" and "what is your style". It is safe to say that you are energetic about Traditional, Contemporary, Transitional, Modern, Urban, Zen, Ethnic or Eclectic styles? You can not effectively start this cycle without having the option to solidly state what your style is and what the objective for your renovation is and how you carry on with your life. You will likewise need the assistance of a decent designer to sharpen what it is you are attempting to make. Try to go out and see what is accessible; go to however many showrooms and providers as could be expected under the circumstances. You will discover these outings to be rousing and furthermore an extraordinary learning experience too.

As we as a whole know, the greatest, generally costly and most definite venture in renovating your home is your Kitchen. When arranging the design for your new kitchen, figure out what suits your lifestyle; you're developing needs and your feel. Continuously remember also that your kitchen is basic to the resale of your home, so plan carefully. Plan out not simply the expensive things, for example, apparatuses, flooring, cabinetry and counters yet the little subtleties that really make a design extraordinary such equipment, lighting, covered up and worked away and things that mirror your character and style. Consider whether you LOVE to cook (at that point include a nozzle over your oven), do you engage habitually (at that point put a box sink in the island), do you have an enormous family (at that point open up certain walls and truly make it the core of your home. The responses to these inquiries will manage the installations and apparatuses you decide for your kitchen.

When plotting out the design of the kitchen don't simply take the kitchen organizer or designers word that the space is ideal for you and your family. Cautiously analyze your arrangement and consider how to best amplify the space in your kitchen just as make your life simpler. Nobody knows your needs and the needs of your family just as you do. Shouldn't something be said about including a multi reason island with sinks stockpiling prep and seating? Shouldn't something be said about the new and shocking proficient sinks with pasta cookers worked in?

When discussing Kitchen design we are truly talking about decisions, hundreds and many decisions for each part of your kitchen. For instance, while choosing your ledges you can have tile, stone (the designer fave), marble (shocking however not kid cordial), strong surface, tempered steel (sleek and modern), wood, solid (ideal for a ultra modern townhouse or home), glass, overlay (the most moderate and promptly accessible) and some more, also the many choices inside every material. Try not to get overpowered by the decisions, consistently remember what works best for your style, your lifestyle and your BUDGET

A little kitchen can be the same amount of a work of craftsmanship as a major family kitchen. It just methods you need to plan and exploration twice as hard, however regularly they can be the most sensational on the grounds that you can put more cash per square foot and make higher evaluation determinations then you would with a major animal dwellingplace sized kitchen. Subtleties are what will make a little kitchen sizzle. Include pull our drawers with spotless floats and pull out parts and a twofold entryway storeroom with full inside access.

[dreadhaus-literature]

{Collection} Double Trouble #3

“…Sarcophagus’ aren’t supposed to open…right?” 

The question echoed in the otherwise silent space, known by most in the Haus as the Keeping Room. It housed a plethora of mystical, magical, and/or cursed items that found their way to the Haus--or that belonged to members of the Haushold after they moved in. The sealed room was monitored by a hand-selected group from the Family (namely those with expertise in the handling of such occult items) and access to the Room itself was strictly monitored.

The problem was, the people inside the room definitely had access to be there...even if a couple of them didn’t exactly want to be.

“Did anyone hear me?” Jax asked, a follow-up to his first question. He was standing beside Monica, with his twin directly on her other side--and giving him one hell of a glare, one Jax met with his usual annoyance. “What, Luc?! No one fuckin’ answered me!”

“Everyone can fucking hear you, muttface, you’re yelling.” Dot hissed, standing a little ways away from the other three. “Would you keep your damn voice down? Do you know what an inside voice is or didn’t Angelo teach you in class yet?”

“If he did, Jax missed it by talking so loudly he couldn’t hear the lesson.” Lucca didn’t speak often (Monica was the only person he talked to regularly, and usually even then it was telepathically rather than with his voice)--but when Lucca did speak, it was in the driest monotone the world had ever heard.

“At least I get to bring my papers to Momma for good boy points.”

Lucca didn’t miss a beat. “Mother likes bad boys.”

“THAT’S WHY I GET DETENTIONS ALL THE TIME--”

There was a sudden, metallic clang! a gilded urn bounced off the side of Jax’s head and clattered to the ground. He whirled, finding Dot staring at him with her hands on her hips.

“Did you throw that at me?!”

“I sure fucking did, would you keep your voice down? We’re not exactly supposed to be doing this.”

“Why are we doing this?”

“I don’t know why you or Jax are here, Lucca, because I distinctly remember just asking Monica to come along but if you must know,” Dot gestured with one hand toward the open sarcophagus. “I heard someone put a mummy in here and it would be perfect for the Halloween party tomorrow.”

“Don’t you have a mummy, Dottie?” Monica asked, earning her a smile from Dot.

“I sure do, our lovely literal mummy’s boy Horus.” Dot held up a finger. “But I never make anyone in the Haus actually work at any of the Halloween events, then they wouldn’t get to participate! And he’s just a little bean. Wouldn’t it be super cool to have a real, scary mummy at the party?”

Before Monica could even attempt to be swayed by Dot’s very obvious attempts at doing so, Jax piped up again.

“Aight, but back to what I asked before, his lid ain’t supposed to be open, right?”

“And if he’s in here, he’s not supposed to be out.” Lucca dropped into the conversation like a nail to a coffin lid.

“First of all, shut up, both of you. Second of all,” Dot turned back to the open lid of the sarcophagus. The incredibly large, intricately crafted gold screamed wealth in a past life...but also belied what most know about mummies--that if you disturb a mummy’s eternal rest, you could find yourself cursed. Was Dot willing to risk that just for a Halloween party?

Absolutely she was.

“Second of all...?” Jax prompted.

Dot swallowed. “Second of all, maybe someone just left the lid off?”

“Yeah. I’m sure he wanted some fresh air.”

Dot gave Lucca a look. “I liked you better when you were mute.”

Lucca just rested his chin on the top of Monica’s head as if to say, ‘she doesn’t.’

Monica had to bite back a laugh, both at the banter between siblings and the situation she found herself in. Antics in the Haus were pretty much the stuff urban legends and stories were made of; someone was always getting into something ridiculous or dangerous or ridiculously dangerous but it was admittedly rare that Dot was the cause of such. She tended to air on the more cautious side, which was partly why Monica had agreed to help her do this. The other half was straight up curiosity about the supposed mummy that was sitting in their Keeping Room for some unknown reason. No one seemed to know where the damn thing even came from, though no one had really asked. With a Haus this large, it was pretty commonplace occurrence to just assume someone was responsible and work the details of that out at a later date.

Dot took a few steps toward the open lid of the sarcophagus, which prompted the trio behind her to do the same. Monica was kept firmly between the young twins, who though they were considered pups by the majority of the Family, were fiercely protective of the woman they affectionately called their Mother. Jax was craning his head, straining up on his toes to try and see into the sarcophagus but Lucca was his usual reserved self, lacing his fingers through Monica’s just in case. She gave his fingers a grateful squeeze, hooking her other arm through Jax’s.

“What’s it look like?” Monica asked quietly. “There’s no bugs or anything, right?”

“...No, love, no bugs,” Dot reassured, her gaze on the contents of the open sarcophagus. “He looks pretty...normal?”

“Normal?”

Dot paused for another moment or two before she huffed. “I’m kinda disappointed, he’s not even scary looking. Or gooey. Or hideous.”

Now Monica was really curious, and with the twins escorting her, the trio came to stand beside Dot to peer into the sarcophagus. True to what Dot said, it was the most normal looking mummy they’d ever seen. In fact--

“Is this--Is he wrapped in toilet paper?” Monica asked, and given her hands were full, it was Dot who reached down to tug at the cloth covering the motionless body.

“What the fuck, this is toilet paper!” Dot yanked some of it off with a snap of her wrist. “What the ever-loving fuck is going--”

“...Hnnnnnnh...”

The group leapt back in unified surprise when the toilet paper wrapped body began to groan and writhe, but given it wasn’t tightly bound it only took a few shoulder shimmies before the paper began to fall away from the once-obscured features.

And Dot about kicked the sarcophagus off it’s stand onto the floor.

“W-What’s going on?! ...Aw man, did Wade wrap me up in toilet paper again?!”

It was Bob, from HYDRA, who for some inexplicable reason was bound in toilet paper and left inside the Haus’s Keeping Room--well, not inexplicable. There was a definite explanation to his predicament and it was that Wade Wilson has the worst sense of humor of anyone in the Haus.

“Bob...what the fuck are you doing in here?” Dot’s tone was measured, but closely resembled the calm of the sea right before a hurricane. Troubled waters lay ahead.

“Wade’s been tricking me all month!” Bob all but wailed, trying to sit up--for some reason the toilet paper binds were giving him some difficulty, though the more he wiggled it was apparent Wade had duct taped him before putting the toilet paper around him. This “trick” seemed more thought out than most of the Merc’s actual superhero or mercenary work. “He even warned me this would happen, he’s been making me into a mummy for the last week! Last time he hung me upside down so long in Spider-Man’s webbing that I lost consciousness!”

“You need new friends.” Lucca commented.

Jax, on the other hand, was in hysterics. “That’s the funniest shit I ever heard! Oh shit, I wonder if Wilson’ll let me join in!”

Dot didn’t even bother, that was Monica’s territory. She was too busy hauling Bob up to a sitting position by his ear--but as soon as he was sitting upright, a DON’T UNWRAP BEFORE OCTOBER 31ST sign was exposed on his back.

“Come on, dumbo. We’re getting you unwrapped and then you’re going to help me and Monica find a real mummy.”

“O-Oh, thank you--W-Wait what?!”

“Yeah, what?” Monica asked, meeting Dot’s gaze as the taller woman turned.

“Baby, Mama needs a mummy, and we’re getting Wade back for picking on Bob by having you come along. Now Bob can say he spent time with you that Wade didn’t get to.”

“Y-You’re going to get me killed.” Bob quietly input, though his heart was in his throat at the idea of actually getting to spend time with the Empress of the Family.

Dot smacked the back of his head, leaning in his personal space. “I’m going to kill someone if I don’t get the mummy I want before tomorrow, how about that?”

Jax raised his free hand. “Luc an’ I are gonna come too if you takin’ Momma.”

“Do the Alphas know?”

“Shut the hell up Lucca of course they don’t, who the hell has time for their nonsense? Not I, said the current mummyless wonder.” Dot hauled Bob out of the sarcophagus with one arm, gesturing toward the door. “Let’s go, I think the downtown museum has a mummy or two out for Halloween, we’ll just take one.”

“This is a b-bad idea,” Bob stammered, moreso because Monica looked at him when he started to talk.

“You hang out with Wade, you should be used to bad ideas.” Dot quipped dryly, the group making their way out of the Keeping Room.

“Bob?”

Bob nearly smacked into the nearby shelf when Monica said his name. “Y-Y-Yeah?”

“You have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.”

[worldtoosmallforme]

witchcraft 101

I'm sure you've seen a post like this before because everyone and their mother has reblogged one or two at some point in time. But regardless I'm gonna take my own crack at it.

It is important to note that you don't have to become an expert in everything on this list to officially graduate from baby witch status. It's more like, do some research and at least dabble in everything a couple times and decide where you want to go from there and when you feel like you're not a baby witch anymore you're not.

So here is a list of the things you should look at first, a starter kit of information, if you will:

- a book: Usually called a grimoire or a book of shadows. This is a collection of all your research, notes, and spells, and usually one of the first things a witch realizes they'll want, if just for pure convenience. Looking up lists for this will give you a broad idea of all the subjects to study. You can use a word doc or a notebook for your book, or whatever works, it doesn't matter what.

- the different types of witch: Wicca is what you will probably encounter first as they publish the most literature, though they've only been around since 1954. But there are also traditionalists, green, kitchen, urban, secular, eclectic, christian, muslim, polytheistic, and many more. The purpose of this item on the list is to educate yourself on the different paths available and the types of witches you will interact with in the community, not on labeling yourself.

- tools: classically a wand, knife, pentacle, book chalice, broom, and/or cauldron. A more common list would include candles,herbs, essential oils, rocks and crystals, insense, and some form of divination. Witches may use some, all, or none of these. I am of the firm belief you don't need a damn thing to practice witchcraft, while other witches may find tools essential. Both opinions are valid.

- divination: the most common are runes and tarot, though you can create a divination system out of anything as it's all about pre-assigning meaning and then interpreting how they are positioned and interact. There are many pre-existing forms of divination, all with their unique quirks. You don't have to practice divination to be a witch so if you're not feeling it move on.

- sigils: Popular because of their beginner friendly process and convenience, but no less powerful.

- diety: Some witches work with god/dessess. Some work with one or two, others entire pantheons like Greek and Norse. Sometimes witches are approached by a god/dess, sometimes they seek them out specifically by name or through their domain, like 'travel' or 'women'.

- hot topics: Ongoing dialogue in the witch community over cursing/hexing, consent for working spells on or on the behalf of people, who can be a witch (answer: anyone), cultural appropriation, etc.

- energy work: Usually recommended pretty fast to new witches. In its simplest form it is basic meditation, but moves on to grounding, centering, shielding, energy points, etc, which are the basic steps for protection and spell work. From there it branches off into an entire specialization.

- protection: Theres nasty stuff out there and meddling with magic draws attention. Having a working knowledge of different protection methods that work for you is essential. Salt and smoke cleansing are the most widely used.

- safety: Not all herbs are safe when burned, not all crystals are safe when put in water, and some common essential oils are not safe to come into contact with skin or can be toxic to animals. Do your research.

- correspondences: These are the meanings for things and their symbology, such as 'red' being used for love, or passion, or putting a clover in a luck spell. Typically these are put in lists which are abundant on tumblr, which are either historically based or personal experience. They are good for reference but are not meant to be memorized as you need to use associations that make sense to you. If you don't share the associations in the list then that ingredient won't work that way in the spell you made.

- psychic abilities: mainly the 4 clairs, clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, and claircognizance, but there are more and each have branches. There is of course, intuition, which you'll be hearing a lot of.

- spells: I use spells on tumblr for brainstorming how to format a spell when I feel clueless, but then from there it's all about what feels right and what ingredients I have on hand. I have a friend who plans out spells for days thinking about ingredients and then makes a trip downtown to our closest witch shop to buy everything, but whatever floats your boat. Ultimately intention and intuition are everything.

- community: Witchblr is tumblr's witch community, but there are forums and discord servers as well. Offline there are covens and meetups, but either way finding a group that works for you might require some time and dedication.

- sabbats and esbats: The "witch" calendar. Not observed by everyone. Mostly referring to the equinoxes, solstices, and moon phases. Meant for celebration and drawing power for spells. Not sure if the term is specifically wiccan.

- casting circles: An actual circle you mark out around you to create a safe magic powerhouse. Generally a ritual. Some traditions have specific ways for this to be done, others don't. Many people do it how they want, many don't do it in a ritualistic way, and many don't do it at all. I usually just wave some insense around and call the area cleansed.

A word about tumblr: tumblr is great for the community and initial research and opinion gathering, but it definitely shouldn't be your only resource. Google can be a great friend, so long as you ignore biased and unreliable resources.

I feel like with this list you'll have a very strong start as a baby witch. I will add to it if I think of anything else. Feel free to message if you have questions.

[jusdanisha]

A Trip Down Memory Lane in Zaldivar

Seems like the universe is getting bigger almost by the minute, and I am getting smaller. When I was a child, I had never met anyone from outside our house in Zaldivar Subdivision. It is a middle-sized area around City Heights with arduous paths and natural spaces, about only a small group of individuals living at peace. I was a homebody, that being so, I never experienced going out to play patintero or tumbang preso, or any classic Filipino street game with some kids my age. It was neither mine nor my parents’ choice, Mama also wanted me to experience a pretty ordinary childhood but unfortunately, I was diagnosed with severe asthma at a young age. My mother said that I inherited it from Lola Besing, my great-grandmother. Heedless of the misfortunes, the company of my family never made me feel alone in the four corners of the room. Up to the time that my Mama had to find herself and suddenly went away, Papa had to leave for work purposes and my older sister Ate Jea continued her studies at Miag-ao, leaving me and my younger sister Che behind, we had to transfer and live half of our lives in Cogonal, a small and serene district in Poblacion, Alabel.

All these years later, Mama decided to go back to our quaint and shuttered former home in Zaldivar and clean up all of the things that were left behind. I never had the opportunity to visit our used to be safe space again. We were all too tied up with our personal lives, I guess we never had the time to think of discarding some of our belongings. Honestly, I was not physically, mentally and emotionally prepared coming back to that house again. While I was busy making revisions for our thesis, my Mom reminded me that we should go back to the old house and declutter. “Mang hipos mo ug manglabay ug mga gamit na di na ninyo kinahanglan”, Mom told us to clear off all the superfluous stuff soon after. Annoyed to death, I could hear that line over almost twice or thrice a month. She also said that I should make sure that my schedule will be free on weekends so that there is no other reason that I could not accompany her and my Ate. Without a doubt, my older sister suggested that we should just avail for cleaning services around City Heights just to lessen the work. It has been already weeks since she came back home from Manila to spend Christmas with us. Mama’s eyes flashed exasperation for a moment, telling us not to spend too much money when we can do it ourselves. These past few months, she would always nag us for spending too much rather than saving. Also, Mom said that we should get some stuff that is still available for use, or else she would sell those old clothes, stuffed toys, bags and pair of shoes to our relatives in Bagacay, a local confined Barangay located also in Alabel. As much as I wanted to tell Mama that I do not have any intentions to go back there, I do not want to be scolded out and upset her once more. I already had too much on my plate that time, I was already thinking about college plans and future career goals as I enter twelfth grade the next few months. I was compelling myself all the while that I just needed to clean and get back to the home right away.

Ever since my Mom came back after she left us, we never had the chance to visit our old house. It was too painful for everyone of us, I presume. Reminiscing all the good times, thinking about how the circumstances would be if she has not left us, there was so much to unpack. I could still remember the day we transferred there, from living in an old cramped apartment to owning a large one story house, it was priceless. Waking up with a peck on the cheek and complete breakfast from Mama, tutoring session every after dinner with Papa when he is not onboard, Ate cooking some foreign delicacies during Saturday night and going all together to church every Sunday, these calm little moments before the storm which are engraved in my heart. On the contrary, looking over the other side was full of grim realities. In between these as good as perfect times, noisy disputes usually marked by anger and distress, screams and whispers that are both equitably blaring for days and nights on end were all heard out. They would tire each other out over the next few days, I take on oneself. I assumed right, Mama and Papa would just ignore each other after those times. If truth to be told, the silence was deafening. When all is said and done, my parents came to a parting of the ways.

On our way to the old house, the aroma of yore lingers as it evokes me a  sense of nostalgia. Rough and grass-covered road, efflorescing flowers with petals of kaleidoscopic hues and century-old two-story houses were still there, I certainly missed this place. Still, it feels like home for me. I suddenly remembered while I was having a conversation with my Mom when I was in sixth grade, I asked her about the origin of this place. She told us that she do not have any clue about its whereabouts, it was just referred by a friend of my father who also lived nearby along with his family. Zaldivar is a good place for a new beginning, one of the most peaceful subdivisions in GenSan as people were only staying indoors but still manage to connect with their neighbors, the couple said. The area is owned by the Zaldivar family, however, they migrated in the United States in view of the fact that living there is a  golden opportunity. Some Filipino families tend to wander in foreign places to live a better life same boat as them, Mama said. This subdivision was like their safety net, in case of having a hard time financially in States. Besides, they told us that this place is perfect for families who are starting anew, wanting to live a peaceful life away from the chaos and pollutants in the downtown. It was like country living in a highly urbanized setting, too good to be true. After almost eight years of living there, I could not deny the fact that Zaldivar is indeed a safe haven for its inhabitants, like how we used to live there before.

When we arrived at the place, Mama immediately told us to go straight in our old rooms and throw away such goods and chattels. By contrast, I instantly headed straight towards my parents’ room, which is my favorite space in the house. I could still see the view of solitary narrow side streets from the window pane, alongside with the natural scenic beauty. This place has not changed over the years, still it looks exactly the same. As much as I wanted to go back home instantly, I started picking up the boxes which contained some dust-filled seafarer essentials. After that, I also saw my Papa’s old clothes, which he used to wear all the time, disarranged. And so, I picked them up first and started to fold them. While I was folding some of his sweaters when he was still in college, I suddenly saw my Mama and Papa’s belongings when they were still high school lovers, which they kept inside a wooden jewellery box. Out of the blue, I went to where my mother is and asked her if she wanted to keep it, she said that I should ask Papa personally nor it depends on me and Ate’s decision because he might lash out on her, which made me dumbfounded. I wanted to ask her about it a long time ago, but I did not have enough courage. Growing up, I was afraid of my own father. He is known for being hot-headed, brusque, and tends to break things like a bear with a sore head when he is not in the mood.

According to Harvard Medical School, anger issues, in what appears like adult temper tantrums, it manifests itself. Throwing objects, picking a fight for no purpose, and aggressive behavior are some of the manifestations of it. Frequently, the meltdowns last less than minutes, as follows, an individual may feel a sense of relief after an outburst, preceded by remorse and humiliation. He has been overworking himself overseas, supposing that it is his own coping mechanism. After a couple of years, he did not come home. At that moment, I wanted to honestly ask him if I should keep or throw their things away, regardless of being keyed up of what he might say. But then, I decided to dial his number, hesitatingly. I was not expecting that he would answer that quick. In a fraction of a second, I asked him if I should keep his, or should I say their things, but then he also said the same thing. I should throw such things that does are not useful anymore, I shivered with fear as I hear his words with its usual outraged tone. He also mentioned about selling the house for it was about time for us to let it go and so on, his expression of views were already gut-wrenching. I had to end the call and immediately throw their things in a black plastic bag. It was already too suffocating for me to stay inside the old house, I was rushing to go home. I needed an air to breathe. This place has not changed over the years, still it feels the same.

On the spur of the moment, I came to think of the reason why is it so hard for me to let go of such things and places where bittersweet memories are on it. A memory hoarder, that is what they used to call me. Having a difficulty discarding or parting with milieu or possessions, regardless of their actual value, I know exactly how it feels. It is a normal human tendency to feel nostalgic from time to time, but, sometimes falling prey to feelings of nostalgia can hinder the progress. Nostalgia is a traitor, a sweet liar, and a feeling too distant yet familiar. It is a guilty pleasure to simmer the aftertaste of every memory stucked in a particular thing, or even a warm and abiding place. Basking in it has never felt so bad. Like how I used to visualize our old house in Zaldivar as a perfect place, but then, it is the exact opposite of what is in my mind and what others used to describe it. I tend to hold onto the fond happenings of the place, but later when I got back, I forgot about how the place felt like when I was a kid. As stated by Jerry Burger, Ph.D., in his research “Returning Home: Reconnecting with Our Childhoods,” returning to an old home is one way of addressing unfinished business from childhood. A childhood home is a certain place where one usually recall his or her never to be forgotten moments throughout life, after all, we must have a closure with those lingering memories. Genuinely marveling at the life I have spent in that particular place, and remembering all sorts of memories – the good, the bad, and everything in between, it was a bittersweet ending. Some things would not go away just because we pretend to forget all about it. Like a fleeting memory, past will always haunt us. 

When we returned back home in Cogonal, I immediately rushed into my bed, bawling my eyes out. For sure Mom knew that I would react like this, leaving me alone for hours. In a split second, all the wounds I once thought were healed are not healed at all. Instead, I dug down deeper into its thin skin, causing it to bleed all over again. After everything we have been through, my parents decided to sell the house where we used to call it our safe space. Guess it was not a good place for a new beginning for our family. At last, living in Zaldivar was a beautiful memory that I had to let go. Beyond everything, still, it feels like home for me. “Mang hipos mo ug manglabay ug mga gamit na di na ninyo kinahanglan”, that would be my Mama’s favorite reminder, she would constantly tell us to throw such things away that are not useful anymore. In the long run, we still have to go back to the place we used to hurt for us to heal and move forward. Just like how we easily discard things when they are unused anymore, we must also leave behind a place to take yourself back to the start. At that moment, I mastered the art of letting go.

[pcurrytravels]

Las Vegas - A Love Hate Thang (Chapter II: The Ultimate Paradox)

Something I’ve noticed about my hometown: This place really thrives off of paradoxes and oxymorons. 

Our outlook? Perpetually stuck in the future (*points at the innumerable mothballed construction sites dotting our local landscape*). Our attitude? Perpetually stuck in the past (You know, it would have been a good idea to start diversifying our local economy after how hard we were hit by the recession, but instead we went right back to putting all of our eggs in the tourism, gaming, nightlife and real estate industries)

Our demographics (in just about every area imaginable) look like gumbo these days. But don’t hold your breath on that explosion of flavors you were expecting, because culture-wise? We still taste like chicken noodle soup. 

“Minors are not to be anywhere near the slots, alcohol, nightclubs or any of the other sinful stuff!” Is that right? Then explain why all of the movie theaters, bowling alleys, video arcades and even high school graduations are located within casinos please.

“We have so much love for our local community!” Yeah, you speak so highly of us when the “needs” of tourists, conventioneers, celebrities and, well, literally everyone except the city’s residents are fulfilled first, effectively rendering us as second-class citizens within our own city. 

None of these things sound like they make any sense, do they? Welcome to Las Vegas baby!

I could come up with numerous examples to be honest. I mean, I have lived here for nearly my whole life, so I think I can talk, but the paradox I personally find the most disturbing is this: We love to act like we’re this world class, progressive and forward-thinking metropolitan area on par with places like NYC and L.A. when the truth of that matter is, we’re essentially an overgrown Western hick town that just so happens to have a giant theme park for adults in the middle, a lot of traffic, some fancy houses and more diversity than usual. 

When I first went to San Francisco back in 2011, I was in awe. There were so many things that shocked and caught me off guard.....in a good way. I won’t go into detail, but let’s just say they were all things that I KNOW would never fly here in Vegas, and yet we’re supposed to be “Sin City.” (And, although I didn’t see much of it myself during my excursions to these places, some of the people in this thread from Quora are saying that even NYC and LA are more lenient about a lot of these “sinful” things than we are these days. Can’t say I’d doubt it)

Yes, we are Sin City in terms of gambling and sports betting, alcohol, tobacco and now marijuana consumption, sex-related entertainment and services (and even then it’s all so sanitized and PG-13 these days it barely even qualifies), quickie marriage/divorce and a history with organized crime. Beyond that, however? Let’s just say we have a lot more in common with Arizona and Mississippi than we do with Amsterdam. 

Remember how in the first chapter of this series I told you all that I felt it was best to keep my thoughts and feelings about Las Vegans in general to myself? Okay, let me give you a tiny little sample: When talking to the typical Las Vegan, you’re more likely to be treated to the stereotypical thought process of either a flyover country redneck, a resident of a southern small town or a suburban high school student than you are that of someone who resides in a city with a global presence. Odd as it may seem, especially when this place’s international influence is taken into account, believe me, tis’ true. 

Having to constantly deal with such a smug, judgmental, provincial, insular and occasionally, dare I say it, behind the times populace is already exasperating enough on its own, but this is only further complicated by the relentless insistence that we aren’t. Not at all to say such a mindset is ever okay (nor am I saying that EVERYONE in these types of locales thinks and/or behaves in this manner), but at least towns and cities in flyover country, the old west and the deep south are HONEST about being stuck in their narrow-minded and prejudicial ways. 

Vegas on the other hand takes part in a charade wherein an image of being a forward-thinking and cosmopolitan metropolis is played up only to turn around and gag at the thought of actually embracing those same progressive ideals and values when no one’s looking. (Meta-Tangent: Mind you, we actually do have most of the ingredients to be that type of city already. The things we’re missing come as a result of having a populace that’s insistent on talking the talk but not walking the walk) Although I certainly don’t agree with it, I can at least respect the former to a point, compared to the latter which is just annoying, frustrating, and doesn’t make any damn sense. In layman’s terms, we’re total latte liberals. 

.......okay, maybe it’s not THAT bad. (Hey, this is called a “Love Hate Thang,” remember?)

There are certain pockets that are slowly evolving into the sort of environment that reminds me of SF and LA where things are more laid back and “free” if you will. See: DTLV/East Fremont, 18b Arts District, The Naked City, Huntridge, Winchester, the “Central” East Side if that makes sense, Charleston Heights, West Sahara (for the Las Vegans reading this: sounds general AF, I know), the Fruit Loop/Harmon Corridor, the University District, Paradise Palms/Maryland Parkway Corridor and (to a lesser extent) Chinatown/Asiatown. 

The rest of the city and the suburbs on the other hand leave quite a bit to be desired in the department of open-mindedness in my not so humble opinion. So it should be no surprise that I spend nearly all of my time in the aforementioned neighborhoods these days. I feel much closer to my element in these places than I do even in my home neighborhood/suburb of Spring Valley, most of which I don’t even touch with a ten foot pole ever since moving away. 

Meta-Tangent: Having grown up in Spring Valley and the Western suburbs, I know from experience that most people out there are DEATHLY afraid of venturing into any of these areas. A lot of it has to do with the perceived danger of them, despite all the evidence to the contrary (I know, I know, pretty general article, but given that I live here, I can tell ya: these murders, robberies, violent and sexual assaults have been occurring EVERYWHERE. However, a large amount of residents as well as our local media would be insistent in having you believe it’s all taking place Downtown or in the long-maligned northern, eastern and central portions of the city/metro area).

On the other hand, there’s also a lot of people who condescendingly put these parts of the city down just because they’re old, even though those horrible old houses they’re talking about are actually of far better aesthetic quality and much more structurally sound. Meanwhile, these same snobs are living in cheaply-built, cookie-cutter homes that were probably slapped together in a week and will likely start falling apart in five years. 

As for my honest opinion? These are only half-truths. I know for a fact that a lot of them are just being low-key racist and high-key classist/elitist. I also have a pretty strong theory that the strong hatred, fear and/or disdain people in the western suburbs have for these areas is because they know it’s a different world from the provincial, suburban bubbles they choose to live in. Oh well, that’s fine by me. Let those of us who actually are forward-thinking and progressive have all the fun. /tangent over.

Truth be told, none of this should really come as a surprise if you take a deeper look into this city’s history. Although, eschewing the thousand year legacy of the Paiutes, the modern-day origins of Las Vegas can be traced to Spaniards; being along the Old Spanish Trail and even being named “The Meadows” in Spanish due to the abundance of grassy meadows, hot springs and rivers in the area back then (all of which have long disappeared thanks to urbanization), the first permanent settlement here was a fort built by Mormon missionaries. 

That’s right, “Sin City” owes it’s existence to the same people with a stance on women that’s perpetually stuck in the 19th century, have beliefs that not-so-subtly imply black people are afflicted by the curse of Cain and wear very prudish undergarments (although the whole polygamy thing is probably what we have to thank for our quickie marriage/divorce culture). On top of that, while hidden from the naked eye, Mormons still have an active influence on the politics and overall society of this city with some very vocal moral guardians, always letting themselves be heard when things get “too” sinful. 

Oh, another thing: In the early/mid-20th century there was a place that was known as the Mississippi of The West. Where do you think it was? Utah? Arizona? Nope! It was right here in Nevada. They really did go hard with the Jim Crow thing here back in the day. Why, Sammy Davis Jr. couldn’t even walk through or have a drink in the same casinos where he performed to rave audiences for goodness sake. Now, that level of injustice and segregation is unheard of nowadays, but there’s many lingering signs of this era that can still be felt. They’re subtle, but they’re there. (Psst! The mascot of our local university was originally a confederate soldier. Seriously. In more recent years he’s been made to look like a cowboy instead but still)

Lastly, we grew from a small town in the desert where people from California and the Midwest came to gamble and watch showgirls to a rapidly growing metro area which plays host to a world-renowned resort, nightlife and fine dining destination that attracts people from all over the world. Almost literally overnight. Just about any Vegas native born before the late nineties can tell you stories of playing in the desert as a kid, including yours truly. All of us can remember when that housing development, Walmart, school, park, or whatever was a vacant lot. In turn, despite the growth, this leads to a fairly large portion of natives who are very much stubbornly stuck in their small town ways, many of whom are insistent on teaching their ways to their offspring unfortunately. 

The ingredients and the potential. We already have it. In terms of demographics, we’re a total melting pot. We’re located in one of the nine states where recreational cannabis use is legal and the only one where prostitution is legal (even though it’s not allowed in our county for whatever strange, puritanical reason). We have all the makings of a sexually-liberated, alternative/counterculture/subculture/generally non-conformist paradise. There is a growing and active community of creatives. And yet, a lot of this growth in the realm of free-thinking is borderline stunted thanks to the Mormon influence, the Mississippi-esque history and the small town attitude.

Alas, even though Vegas may be living proof that a  physical city can grow and change overnight, culture and community are two things that can’t change overnight, no matter how you slice or dice it. I regularly find myself pining for the Vegas of my childhood during the nineties; when it was far larger than a town but barely a city. I’d also love to experience Vegas during the 60s, 70s and 80s (minus the racism part, obviously), but at the end of the day, these are just frivolous ideologies. A more substantial wish would be that the local attitude and mindset finally catches up with the rapid population growth, urban development and all of the related side effects. My fondness for the neighborhoods listed above is a direct result of this desire I have. They represent what I wish all of Vegas could be.

As a new age and generation comes into play, perhaps this wish will be reality one day soon. Until next time. 

[bites-kms]

Christmas Around the World

I’ve been waiting for almost a year to finally post this! Who knew that a year later, I would be finishing this post from Oxford St, surrounded by live Christmas carols and decorations that might blind the tourist eye. 

Regardless on where you are or what you believe in, Christmas is always a special happy time to celebrate together with whom you love the most. Perfect occasion to drink and eat delicious feasts and fall into a food comma until the next day. Wasn’t that was resurrection was about? :D <3 

I had the chance to spend December in different continents and countries, yet only 2 times I’ve spent Christmas away from home: one in HCMC and another one in Madrid. 

So... how do people experience the most joyful time of the year around the globe?? 

Southern Hemisphere - Hot Sunny Summer A) Uruguay - Montevideo & Punta del Este :: Home Lovely Home

Imagine this: 34 degrees Celsius, sunny beaches with mainstream, snowy decorations on every corner. Heavy, caloric food, heritage from cold Christmas spent in Italy or Spain, where our main ancestors have come from. Green countryside postcards and the white, sandy beaches are the Uruguayan equivalent of a snowy pine wood. Still, Santa, or as we call it, Papa Noel, wears the same winter outfit. 

At home is always about the “mesa” service. It’s a ritual. My Dad loves to do it and he is the greatest host when it comes to cuisine “alla Tocchetto”. When I was little, I remember helping him with el Nono while eating some of the charcuterie while preparing it, before going to Church o “Misa de Gallo”, the ceremony performed on the Christmas Eve, with my Mom, la Nona and Aurora. The best part of the Misa is that after it, Christ was already born so I was able to open my presents earlier than 12 o’clock - hence, earlier than anybody else!- and at midnight we only concentrated on staring in awe the great fireworks.

As a second dish, we usually have lechon or cold pigglet, with potatoe salad. Of course, we had turron, an almond and honey pie, as well as digestives and drinks, just enjoying them all-together. Sometimes, my godfather Beto also joined.  

Over the last 10 years or so, we changed the setting to Punta del Este, where we started renting the penthouse of this little wonderful boutique hotel and had bbqs and a privileged views of the ocean and the peninsula. Although is summertime, you can always count on experiencing some wind in Punta, so we were always wrapped in blankets or wearing a light sweater. 

Life happens and suddenly the guests at the table became less, with more empty seats, but with the same spirit and love. Those chairs were replaced by life long lasting friends like Henry & Carmen, once my lovely Turkish roommate Ayse joined, and it was a special occasion since it was her first and only Christmas at the time. I’m really looking forward for this 2017 Christmas since I haven’t been in Uruguay in December since 2015, whilst the year before I’ve spent it in Australia and Vietnam. 

Western Europe:: The tradition begins  A) Spain: Madrid & Galicia & Barcelona 

Last year was the first one that we spent it all together abroad, destination: Spain. There wasn't much to do in Madrid on the night of the 24th as we were expecting, but we did have two wonderful surprises: 1) we did our first DIY Christmas Sweater and 2) we discovered the amazing comfort food of “Migajas de Navidad”, meaning bread crumbs with everything else you can find: chorizo, meat, beans and veggies. 

B) England - London 

Stylish, classy, British. I had the chance to be there last weekend and it was the biggest snowstorm of the last 4 years! You could actually appreciate the white scenery across urban London, and that’s not common at all. Hot chocolate, warm mulled wine with cinnamon and pieces of fruit, as well as Pret-a-Manger soups are some of the British delights that keeps you warm during this wonderful time. Listening to random Christmas carols or singing for charity is something quite common on London Streets - cresting along lasting memory and stealing you a smile every single time. 

C) Portugal - Lisboa & Porto 

This is Christmas with Saudade. The Portuguese feeling of nostalgia is present in every food and on every corner. The lights are on but dimmed or faded out a little, with multiple Christmas Markets around, and the traditional Bolo Rei.

It was quite nice to arrive to our Airbnb and received, under a beautiful Christmas tree, three little gifts. We had such nice hosts and the location were superb: quite close to Praca de Pedro in Lisbon and a few blocks away from the main square in Porto. Such a lovely stayed and magical eve.

South East Asia:: Humid and Joyful  A) Singapore - Singapore 

Another hot and sweaty Christmas. In the humid weather, creating a cool atmosphere is more than necessary. Modern Christmas Markets, in-store Christmas carols, full-on decorated avenues and what they call a “Christmas Wonderland” is ready to transmit the coziness of the most wonderful time of the year! The key stars of Singapore are Gardens by the Bay displays, with each year’s unique proposal -one year they even scheduled a live show of snow fall!- and Orchard Road, the most important and fashionable street where Christmas presents and purchases are made. Each store competes with each other to get the most amazing decoration, therefore more likes and pictures shared on Instagram, creating a wonderful and cheerful avenue where shopping becomes a North Pole visit. 

B) Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City 

I’ve spent a very unconventional Christmas here in HCMC. I went to church to respect my home traditions, went back home, walking down Hai Ba Trung. I exchanged gifts with my couple and I kinda received a wedding proposal in return. It was a very joyful moment. We hugged each other very closely and went to have dinner to this wonderful place we truly liked, I cant remember the name at the moment, but I do remember the amazing little red tea tiramisu served in a little plant pot. It was a Thai Place. We carried our little champagne bottles downtown and greet the passing by people with a “merry chismas” - the way they pronounced it. Every Vietnamese in Saigon was out driving around, taking pictures of the crazy motorbike scene of that night, having a very merry moment. 

Northern Hemisphere - The B Side::: Where the real magic happens  

A) Russia -  Moscow & St Petersburg 

I went to Russia during December and experienced the snowy magic of the ex USSR, but didn’t have the chance to experience Christmas Night itself over there. I guess Orthodox Christmas may vary a little bit from what one is used to,  but I’m sure it would be amazing too.

I did had the chance to ice skate in front of the GUM, the amazing and huge commercial store located right next to Lenin’s mausoleum on The Red Square. It was quite a magical experience yet it made me think a lot. Everything was very Christmasy, very “Coca-Cola” if you’d like, since they do have this special Santa guy as well. Oranges are the Ortohdox symbol of prosperity and good luck that’s why they put it over the tree (same as the offerings done in Lunar ew Year in South East Asia). Chocolates, packed in a very unique, Russian way that resembles Russian architecture style tiles, are also served as treats for kids and adults alike. 

It was such a nice experience, drinking the warm mulled wine, riding a wonderful carrousel, singing Volga-Volga, remembering my Nono and toasting on his name. You feel the new Russian vibe but there’s something graceful and elegant about their Czarist past they can’t get rid of and you feel like a princess, waiting for Anastasia to show up and gossip about the past ballet or opera show. 

Shopping malls are also quite fantastic - and when it comes to discounts and trends, Russians know their stuff. 

B) Finland - Rovaniemi 

When hitting north, you better go big or go home. I went to Rovaniemi, in the highest, Northern part of Finland, on my way to Lapland. It was nice to make a stop there, not only to experience the Article Circle crossing line, but also and mainly because you can experience there real house of Santa Claus. Remember when you were a kid and you ended up taking pictures of yourself in every mall with a very dubious looking Santa? Well.. in this one, you can actually get the original picture after all!

You can visit Santa’s workshop and experience how the gifts are being made by the Elf team and you can learn the different Christmas traditions from around the globe. There’s an amazing souvenir shop where you can actually get your passport stamp by “the North Pole / Santa’s Workshop” but they getting more and more picky about that, since they don’t dare to stamp your actual passport anymore with a fake “country”. Yet, make sure to bring postcards or notebooks and get those stamps instead!

Bites & KMs Tip:::: SANTA CLAUS VILLAGE EXCLUSIVE!::::

You can also experience the deers and hopefully, if you are lucky, you can meet - or eat- Rudolf! There is a beautiful restaurant shaped as a tipi hut, North Pole style of course, where delicious feasts are being served. Don’t lose your time and go straight to the deer or even bear meat, you won’t regret it!

C) Sweden - Stockholm

If you imagine a white, snowy perfect Christmas, I bet Sweden and Stockholm is what’s on your mind and trust me, it will surely surpass your expectations. 

My lovely Sverige. Saint Lucia’s weekend is by far the most festive one and the one you should not miss! Same week as the Nobel Prize ceremony, Saint Lucia is a very typical Swedish Tradition, where carols and candles are being lighted in honor of this Saint. They also do a very picturesque procession in Gamla Stan and in Skansen. The lovely Christmas Markets, with their handcrafted art and food are a delight you shouldn’t miss. Try some mulled wine to warm you up while watching the amazing city lights, making it even more charming than usual, rising up its splendor.

D) New York, New York - Mariah Carey’s Kingdom 

It is indeed the most wonderful time of the year. With the incredible 5th Ave window displays, the fantastic and traditional Saks megastore decoration, as well as the Rockefeller Christmas Tree lightening, New York is fantastic during this time. All the parks around Manhattan and Brooklyn have Christmas Markets where to find delicious treats, fantastic gifts and charming people sharing the Christmas spirit. Macy’s and all the department stores play “All I Want for Christmas is You” and it’s the anthem for December. It makes me so happy. Download the Spotify playlist and enjoy Mariah, Wham! and Michael Bluble non stop.  

Wherever you experience it, whatever you believe in, I do tend to agree with the song that says “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” since, regardless of the gift and shopping stress, family business and menu planning discussions, people are happier, people are more united, and people are having a blast with the one they love. So, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Bites &Kms, with love <3

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... F is For Family (S02E04) Night Shift Airdate: May 30, 2017 @Netflix @GaumontTV Ratings: Privatized @BillBurr @mikepriceinla Score: 8.75/10 @FYeahBill @FIFFNetflix TVTime/FB/Twitter/IG/Tumblr/Path/Pin: @SpotlightSaga **********SPOILERS BELOW********** 'Is my house clean?' No seriously, I'm gonna look up and you take a look in. I need to know... Can't go trouncing about town, especially the notorious 'Cocaine Cowboy City' of Miami with powder around the edges of my nostrils. I wouldn't think anyone, in any decade of existence, would want an onlooker seeing them trading coke for anything right out in the open... Whether that's in a record store, yes they still exist & I'm sure they would love a visit, or a street corner... I'd suggest visiting the record store over the street corner. Just as walking, talking, 'Teenage Turmoil', 'Trepidation Tornado' (Yeah, I'm also a sucker for wordplay), Kevin Murphy (Justin Long) is looking to make it big in what he sees as almost a dream world of sorts as a bonafide rockstar, he spots his well connected, high rolling neighbor, who is very much a part of that dream world, bribing an aggressively apprehensive DJ to play a pop record with a picture of a 'Teen Heartthrob' holding an adorable puppy on the front... But hey this is where they are in their lives. Pretty sure I've been lower. Vic (Sam Rockwell), along with the rest of the cast, has so much more room to breathe now that the series has been extended from 6-Episodes to the nicely rounded off number of 10 entries for S2. However, this means that Vic can no longer simply be that hurricane of a character, representing the perfect storm of carefree 1970's hedonism and indulgence. Suddenly, there are consequences for his actions and we are peaking into a long, dark tunnel where Vic is on the verge of an 'existential crisis'. No, there are no immediate repercussions for any of Vic's self destructive behaviors quite yet anyway, but the forlorn fates are written all over his face. Right now he's much closer to what we would refer to the point of 'existential dread' than we would call a full blown 'existential crisis'. The writers are smart though, they're giving you a peak of his cards without letting you see his full hand and that will surely create a helluva payoff when it it's finally time to pay the piper. That's a stark difference from a character that was once a quick, in & out, 2-D slice of animated comic relief. When it comes to television, cinema, film, real life, whatever... 'Existential' and 'Crisis' are literally my two favorite words in the English language, not only because they are so beautiful when paired together, but more so the fact that it's one thing Im actually good at. I know that's a really weird thing to be proud of, excited to dive into, or even claim to be 'good at'... But with all the LSD & DMT I've consumed in my life, I believe I've had more self-induced existential crisis and egodeath(s) than most of the worlds population. It's not just hallucinogenics and weird dissociatives, or even a finely tuned education in psychology & sociology that have made me an expert and lover of all things 'existential', it's also real life experience in all things crisis... Inner, outer, dramatic, and otherwise... I've always been dramatic, I got it from my mother, and her adoptive Mother... They are whatever is slightly above the 'every southern woman' version of Bette Davis & Joan Crawford. Everything is a spectacle, darling. Anxiety attacks are full on broadway performances, complete with Tony Awards, a nice Southern 'Wink', and a long list of 'Thank You's at the end... Oh and trips to the mall that start out sweet & fruitful and end in sheer terror. My Step-Father is more like the American Cherokee version of a cross between Tim Allen & Jim Gaffigan, if that makes sense. He has a traditional, signature style of humor that is both clean & observational and masculine & sometimes surprisingly crass, mainly due to his dual nature and long hard road from the cesspool of a nasty rock bottom to the heights of being a pillar of his community. There was a time in my life where these attributes all made me angry, just like Kevin. At that rebellious teenage age, if someone says go, you stop and if they say stop, you go. If a parental figure or an adult influence that we look up to makes a mistake, as a young adult many times we hold them to it unfairly... As if they're supposed to be perfect because they are the adult. As kids, we want to meet them halfway with unrealistic expectations. Essentially that's because adults meet their children and particularly teenagers with unrealistic expectations, themselves. Can't expect a toddler not to touch a hot stove, can't expect a little kid not to pick their nose (or worse), can't expect a teenager not to do usual teenager stuff, and we can't expect our parents to always remember all of that in times of stress. Looking back now (and let's hope Kevin moves forward to this place soon), I know that I learned the most from watching my parents make mistakes and subsequently finding a way to fix it, by any means necessary. Kevin is already sick over his issues with his dad, so he's practically ready to give up when he sees Vic forking over line after line until DJ Howlin' Hank (Josh Adam Meyers) would say he loves any record Vic gave him to play (yes, that includes records with vinyl covers that feature kids holding puppies that look like they "fell out of Donnie Osmond's pussy"). When one reaches the epiphany that hard work, talent, and actually being cool isn't what gets them to top, a breakdown of some sort is to be expected. Personally I've had this specific epiphany more than once (complete with influential dramatic Hollywood Breakdown), so a nice soul searching, ego shattering session of smoking weed (or simply insert alternative mind expansion drug here) his friends refer to as 'Oregon Gold dipped in Columbia River Salmon Piss' out of a baby doll made into a pipe is just what Kevin needs to push him to a point where he's ready to face this new, harsher, cruel world to get their band's ultimate goal achieved... Being played on the radio, preferably by DJ Howlin' Hank... Because, you know, at least they are 100% sure what it takes to make 'Hank Howl' (thanks, Vic)! So off the clueless teenage trio goes to score some blow. This should be good. Kevin has currently written off his father, Frank (Bill Burr), for his inability to accept a certain kind of defeat... Or better yet, I should say... Face his humility for a greater good and 'bite the bullet' at the unemployment office. He sees his father's stubborn pride as a weakness, when really like any human attribute, it's technically both a positive and a negative. The fact that Frank is lying to Sue (Laura Dern) about it, makes it all 100x worse, though... Creating a mountain blocking any possible view to see the silver lining. Frank taking a humiliating, lower paid job, just to avoid a handout is silly and ultimately a bit insane, but at least Frank is trying to do something instead of curling up into a corner & folding. Still, the whole ironic arrangement is not lost on us. Don't think for a moment that we won't be on the lookout for bumper stickers being sold at 'Hot Topic or 'Urban Outfitters' that say "Ask me about my Loser Husband's shit job!" Frank's insecurities and paranoia are officially at an all time high. His new boss Smoky (Michael Kenneth Williams) shows Frank the restrictive ropes of the world of vending machines, its many perks, and how to "Shove it. Slam it. Twist the lock. Stick the key inside your sock." Why can't the key just be on the key ring? Simple. "Because the rhyme came first, system came later." Frank is killing it, but an accident with the lock on the back door (see how important those rhymes are), ends up with the bag of change they've been collecting falling out of the back of the truck and finding it's way all over the dirty urban street. Frank goes into survival mode, scouring the street like a hardworking crackhead to recover the change. As this is happening, Kevin is out looking to score $10 worth of coke in the same seedy downtown neighborhood. Last time I checked $10 won't get you a bag of coke, and I live in a city where cocaine is easier to get than the attention of a bartender, and cheaper to get than a simple single liquor cocktail. These three young clowns mistake a pimp for a drug dealer and one of the funniest scenes of the series commences when the 'white' they are all so ready to score turns out to be an obese, Caucasian, $10 prostitute that has difficulties keeping one of her titties inside of her blouse. As the trio scrambles to escape the low rent hooker who offers to 'fuck them all if they have a sandwich bag', they end up passing Frank digging for nickels on the side of the street. Ok, ok... This is obviously the worst possible scenario for Kevin, but his frustrations lead him to march into the radio station with his band's demo tape in hand, demanding to be heard. Fuck the system, right? Everything might be going to shit for the characters in the Netflix Original 'F is For Family', but when you are down on your luck and you don't even know why you're stuck in a meaningless, chaotic existence... Suddenly an existential crisis becomes your best friend. Frank's embarrassing dedication to picking up the change in the street leads him to secure the job of no one's dreams, Sue has a sudden idea for a product invention when going through the mundane process of drying out her lettuce while making dinner salads, and Kevin's frustration & desperation pay off after the boys tune in to hear Vic use a two syllable taste of their song to introduce the weather segment. To three young boys with a pipe dream that's like the equivalent of being featured on MTV's 'Total Request Live' in 1999. Recently I've watched a friend go through a horrible incident and face their mortality. Suddenly that person is trapped in an existential nightmare... 'What's any of this worth if it really doesn't lead to anything, if we are all biding our time on this earth until the Grim Reaper comes-a-knocking anyway?' And that's just the base of it. We've all got our existential and emotional baggage to deal with, but it's the unexpected moments when you're at your lowest point that suddenly remind us that even tho we might all just be going through the motions and repeating history over and over, sudden sparks of light can suddenly reignite your passion for life... Its as all as easy as that, or as difficult as that, whichever way you want to look at it. Like Frank said in the beginning of FIFF's 'Night Shift', "I woulda killed myself, but I don't want to haunt my own house." **********Written By: Kevin Cage********** Special Thx: TVTime, Bill Burr, Michael Price, Jerry Wilson, Kat Holiday, Chad Rigsby... Dedicated to: Denver G. Pratt http:://www.tvtime.com http://www.spotlightsaga.com http://www.facebook.com/SpotlightSaga http://www.facebook.com/groups/ArtsEntertainment

[sawthingsiimagined]

#XD30 ELEVEN | DOUBLE TROUBLE

[ You Know Who - Jada]

It was the morning after our show in Washington D.C. It was another sold out show and an even better performance. I was at a restaurant downtown with my best friend and stylist, Adrienne, having breakfast when my phone rang. It was my mother. My mother and I had a different relationship than most mothers and daughters. We never talked about boys, make up or anything that I believed most girls talked about with their mothers. I relied on my older cousins and my grandmother to school me on guys. My mother called me and I picked up the phone wondering what this random call could possibly be about. She was more of a texter.

“Hey Mama.”, I said answering the phone.

“Baby where are you?”, she said with unusual concern in her voice.

“I’m with Adrienne downtown. What’s the matter?”, I asked.

“There was a shooting near one of the schools in D.C. It’s all over the news. I couldn’t reach Jace so I started to worry. Is security with you?”, she continued rambling until I cut her off.

“Hey mama, we are fine but to make you feel better we will go back to our hotel until we get word that things are safe for us to be out and about. And yes security is with me. Jace is at the barbershop.”, I assured her and then hang up the phone.

I proceeded to finish my breakfast and paid for our food. I called Mona to check on things back at the hotel. She was aware of the shooting but stated that the school was 11 miles away from our hotel room. Adrienne and I decide to stop by the outlet mall a few exits away from our hotel before returning to our rooms. I needed new gym shoes. We have to maintain our bodies on the road and it’s very challenging with all of the food and parties we are privy to on tour.

When we arrived at the outlet it was extremely packed. Mostly with teenagers walking around with friends. I wasn’t aware if this was unusual or not for this city but I knew where I was from the shopping centers had an older or a more family oriented demographic. We picked up some make up and accessories that we hadn’t seen back home. We then continued on to decide which gym shoes I should purchase. I opted for a hot pink pair of Puma runners. I had decided that morning that I would discipline myself to wake up everyday and run at least 2 miles before I did anything FLAME related. Running helped clear my mind and also helped me push through the day with ease. I ran track in high school so I knew it would be a good thing for me. We decided we should go back to the hotel after I purchased my shoes and before my mother called to check in with Mona and finding out that we hadn’t arrived.

We have a dinner to attend later with a foundation Mona is very fond of called EMBRACE. It’s a foundation that targets LGBTQ youth who have been kicked out or abandoned by their families. I was excited to meet the youth and the committee of the foundation. I wasn’t very familiar with many stories such as these. There were kids a part of this foundation that were as young as 8 and old as 18. Growing up in church people were either on the ‘down-low’ or weekly praying for deliverance but it was never a topic of discussion at our many church meetings unless it was in condemning way. I know my parents probably wouldn’t agree with this event so Mona didn’t it include it on our tour schedule. This was also going to be a semiformal event. Adrienne had picked an amazing piece for me to wear to the event and I couldn’t wait to strut my stuff.

As we were nearing the exit of the mall to meet our driver, we noticed a long line of girls that ranged from the ages of 15-24 in their appearance. A few guys, mostly black, were scattered throughout the line and were dressed in street attire. They were all holding CDs and posters but I couldn’t make out who they were standing in line to meet. We got closer to the front of the line and noticed they were waiting on the doors to open at a store called URBAN CAPSULE. It was a store that basically sole trendy apparel of Hip Hop culture. We stood around for a few minutes trying to peer through the crowd to see inside of the window of the store when all of a sudden I hear someone scream “FLAME”. A young girl runs towards me screaming and others begin to gather. I smile and they all started snapping pictures. It startled me but luckily Paul was a few feet away to manage the crowd. Now I see another reason as to why we have security. I took a few pictures with some of the fans and then the door opened. A tall light skinned guy wearing a vintage baseball jersey and fitted cap came out. He said he was the store owner and saw us through the window. He asked us to come inside. I almost declined because I wasn’t sure if he was trying to help us get out of the commotion or fuss at us for causing one. Paul pushed us inside. I could tell he was completely over the crowd. I’m sure the driver was waiting on us but when we walked in I came in direct eye contact with Q standing there looking as good as he did on tv. My heart started racing. I hadn’t spoken to him or seen him since I let him eat me out, like he was at a free Chinese buffet, at the afterparty.

He was having an intense conversation but when we locked eyes he stopped talking and smiled. He then walked up to me and pulled me in his arms. I could hear screams from the people crowded around the door outside and looking through the window. He quickly let me go and grabbed me by the hand pulling me into the store’s stock room.

“Hold the door.”, he told one of the guys a part of his crew. I’m sure Adrienne and Paul were baffled. I didn’t talk about Q much to anyone. I had yet to even discuss my interaction with him, in depth, with Jace. Once inside of the stock room he hugged me again.

“What’s up mama?”, he asked while hugging me as if he didn’t want to let me go. I could smell his cologne and I must admit I missed that fragrance.

“Nothing much. My friend and I stopped by the outlet to do a little shopping before I prepare for an event tonight.” I answered. “What are you guys up to?.”

“We’re having our cd signing out here today. Things got a little heated at the college we were supposed to do it at so we decided to come here instead.”, he said.

We looked at each other for a moment and without thinking I leaned in to kiss him. His lips were so smooth. I pulled his tongue in my mouth. It tasted like peppermint and Hennessy. I was immediately turned on. Just the mere sight of him excited me which had me confused. I wasn’t sure if I was reacting as a privileged fan or if I had began to catch actual feelings. This guy was what most black girls’ dreamed of. He was attractive, well groomed, fashionable and hood. He had an authentic street flare that made a good girl want to be bad.

I had on a nude lace bra, a white mesh tank and white stretch, skinny jeans with a pair of stilettos I found at all mall in Miami. I was looking extremely “Love and Hip Hop” but feeling like Rihanna and I had been turning heads all morning. Luckily I take pride in my appearance. It would be rare for Q or anyone to catch me looking thrown together at anytime. He took one of his hands and unbuttoned my pants. I almost stopped him but I was as turned on as he was, if not more. Hopefully he wouldn’t have me sprawled out on top of one of these boxes in this stock room. He reached inside of my matching lace thong and began to search for my center. Still kissing me when he found the entrance to my glory I gasped. That turned him on because he then pushed me back against one of the boxes and kissed me even deeper. He used two of his long fingers to massage my clitoris and I lost all thought of time and location. I felt myself getting wet but the only thing that mattered was him. I admit that haven’t had many sexual encounters with many different men but he was by far the best and I hadn’t even had the dick yet. It’s as if he was turned on by the idea of turning me on. It’s almost as if I had cast a spell on him. I broke away from his kisses. I felt myself about to orgasm but I stopped him just in time. That not how I wanted my first orgasm to be if I were to have one with him.

“Q…..stop.”, I said in his ear before taking his earlobe and sucking it for a few seconds. I could taste the metal of his ear ring.

He stopped and looked me in the eye. “You have a job to do and I have to go.”, I said with a smile.

“You’re right. Keep a nigga on task Ma. That shit is sexy as fuck.”, he said before planting kisses on my neck. “Can I see you later?”

“Q, I told you to text me. So when you text me we can work out all of the details about when we can see each other.,” I said and then I kissed him on his forehead.

“Bet.”, he said. “Call your girl and tell her that y'all should walk out of the back of the store. I saw some people snapping pictures when I hugged you. I’m sorry for not thinking. I was just glad to see you.”, he said licking his lips.

“And it was definitely good to see you and a surprise. Now go sign those girl’s CDs.”, I said.

I called Adrienne. The store manager escorted us out of the store, along with Paul, and the driver met us in the shipping area of the outlet mall.

When we got in the car Adrienne went off. She rarely curses but she let me have it.

“Bitch! What the fuck was that shit?”, she said not caring if the driver heard her. “Since when have you become the First Lady of Fake Gangster Rapper Records? Look at this suit”, she said with much attitude and shoving her phone into my hand. There was already a post on the Shaderoom’s Instagram of us hugging thanks to one of the fans posting a picture of us online. You could barely make out whether it was a friendly or intimate hug but the gossip blog was sure to caption the post with 'Looks like Q has a new FLAME.“

I giggled. "First of all I’m nobody’s lady. Second there is nothing fake about him. We are just cordial acquaintances trying to get to know each other without people making up rumors.”, I said rolling my eyes and then looking out of the window.

“You just be careful. We have a long road ahead and it’s too soon be getting derailed by any nigga, especially these industry niggas. I’ve heard too many stories and I..”, she tried to continue before I cut her off.

“Bestie, I got you. I know you’re looking out for me but this is all new and I’m learning as I go. I can’t take anyone else’s experiences on as my own. He’s a really nice guy. It was just a coincidence that we ran into each other and he was happy to see me. That’s all.” I said.

“I know girl. It just scares me. I don’t want you to get hurt and I don’t want to lose you. I’m sure he’s nice but I just catch an unfamiliar vibe about him and I want you to be careful. Can you promise me you’ll be careful?”, she asked.

“Yes Adrienne I’ll be careful.”, I said after I let out a loud sigh and rolled my eyes again.

“Thank you.”, she said grabbing my hand and holding it the rest of the ride back to the hotel.

Later that evening I was staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I felt so beautiful. It was the first time in a while that I was dressed up for a nice event. Also the first time I was making an appearance for FLAME in this type of attire.

Adrienne picked a gorgeous white body suit that resembled a pant suit. It was low cut at the top so she supplied me with extra padding to push my b-cup sized breast up. It was lined with gems along the top cut of the suit and along the lining where it cut off at my shoulders. My favorite part was that it had a cape that gently touched the floor. It was a good thing because my ass was sure bulging in this body suit and I knew it would be eating this it by the end of the night. Glad I was covered so the kids wouldn’t have to look at all of that. The cape was also white. My stilettos and accessories were all silver and my hair was pulled up into a classy bun with gems to finish off the look. My face was flawless. I had on light make up with a glittery glazed finish. I looked like a star. I was definitely wearing the FLAME brand well because I was on fire. I couldn’t wait to see Jace because he too was wearing something that complimented my outfit.

I stood in the mirror for at least 20 minutes having thoughts of how I’d introduce myself, what we should sing if we put on the spot to sing and thoughts about my future husband Q. I really hoped that he would call me soon. I also thought about what the comments under the Shaderoom’s post said about me.

My thoughts we interrupted when I heard a knock at my door. I was in my room alone so I answered it knowing security was at the door. I opened it and Ernest was standing there holding flowers. I hadn’t seen him since the night of the pool party. He still looked sexy with his hair pulled back into a slick ponytail. I almost forgot all about Q until he informed that some flowers had been delivered to me. He passed me the flowers and the card said 'just because you taste good’ and signed 'you know who’. I took the flowers and put them on the dresser in my room. I opened the door again and asked Ernest to come in.

I’m not going to lie. The thought of him wearing me out on this bed did cross my mind but I didn’t feel like taking off this body suit and having to paint it back on.

“I hope I didn’t cause your job to get harder. I hope there is no friction between us.”, I said.

“What do you mean Ms. Jade?”, he asked with no smile and confusion in his voice.

“The other ni…”, I began before he cut me off.

“I’m here to do whatever you ask me to. And If it gets hard I’ll be sure to let you know.” He said with a polite smile shutting me all the way up.

“I appreciate that.”, I said and he turned and walked away leaving me standing there.

Well damn. Ok.

[hkeath-blog]

This was odd

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? -More milk 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? -Yes ☺️ 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? -junkmail haha 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? -cold coffee cold tea 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? -Yes! 6: do you keep plants? -alive? No. 7: do you name your plants? -nope 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? -🤷🏼‍♀️ 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? -kinda yes 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? -all of the above 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? -"Prob won't" 12: what's your favorite planet? -Earth.. haha 13: what's something that made you smile today? -New job! 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? -A mansion haha 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! -nah 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? -ALL PASTA! 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? -Nothing, Love where it's at! 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. -Eating cheese in my sleep 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? -nope never have 20: what's your favorite eye color? -My husbands 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. -Don't think I have one 22: are you a morning person? -Yes ❤️ 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? -binge watch Netflix duh 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? -Hubs 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? -An abandoned trailer house, found a bunch of creeepy stuff 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? -flip flops 🙈 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? -super minty! 28: sunrise or sunset? -sunrise! 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? -Hmm 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? -Yes 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. -I actually hate wearing socks 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. -Went on the rooftop of an old building downtown and looked at the stars 33: what's your fave pastry? -cheese danish 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? -a build a bear and idk where it's at 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? -I do! And no :( 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? -Keith urban always 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? -clean 38: tell us about your pet peeves! -lying!!!! Ignoring me, not listening, having to repeat myself.. I have a few 39: what color do you wear the most? -black or blue 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? -wedding ring, has more meaning than I have room to type 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? -the choice by Nicholas sparks 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! -iced coffee from Starbucks is unbeatable 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? -KRK 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? -now 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? -50/50 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. -no. 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? -seafood minus shrimp 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? -snakes, kinda but I've got bigger fears now 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? -not anymore 50: what's an odd thing you collect? -cards from people haha 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? -"My everything" 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? -baby memes 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? -beetle juice, pulp fiction 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? -mom 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? -idk 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? -ability to forgive and forget so easily 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? -no 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? -kynzi-keeley 59: what's your favorite myth? -you can't get pregnant when on top.. haha 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? -no 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? - 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? -if I do it's apple juice 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? -no 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? -black 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? -my niece 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? -look @ snapchat filter 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? -chill 68: what's winter like where you live? -not good enough 69: what are your favorite board games? -monopoly and life 70: have you ever used a ouija board? -nope 71: what's your favorite kind of tea? -sweet 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? -YES 73: what are some of your worst habits? -biting my nails 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. -sassy 75: tell us about your pets! -English bulldog, lab mix, French bulldog! All bratty :) 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? -sleeping 77: pink or yellow lemonade? -strawberry* 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? -no 79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? -he's done a ton of cute things 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? -tan, no 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. -ocean haha 82: are/were you good in school? -yes 83: what's some of your favorite album art? -idk 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? -none yet 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? -nope 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? -nope 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? -war room 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? -no 89: are you close to your parents? -yes 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. -I love love love fayetteville 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? -punta cana! 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? -drowns 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? -up :( 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? -keeley 95: what are your plans for this weekend? -not shit haha 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? -procrastinate 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? -huh 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? -a month ago, yes 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. -song for dad, many many more 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? -past, only if I could keep the knowledge I have now

[malcolmteller-blog]

[HORROR] In the City

My name’s Barry. That's the first thing you need to know. But apart from that...

Where to begin? I first moved to the city to work as a librarian about a couple years ago. I…I won’t say which city. I can’t. It’s too dangerous. It might…it might invite what had me before to come after me now, and I can’t risk that. I just can’t. But I will give some hints, so that you can hopefully figure it out on your own and know to avoid it: it’s one of Canada’s most major cities, on the mainland of the West Coast. That should be enough, yeah?

Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, moving there for work. I moved here to work as a librarian. I was in year five or so of my career in libraries, and I’d wanted to move to the city for awhile. I mean, what wasn’t to love? The coast, how it seemed to be it for young, progressive, urban types (of which I consider myself one). I guess I’d just built it up in my mind for the past few years as this ideal goal, despite the hardship in finding sustainable work in my field in the city.

But that was it. It was my goal, and I followed through on it. I never had any idea the horrors that it would unleash into my life.

Where did it all begin? I’m not exactly sure. It’s not like I can just pinpoint it. But roughly, it was within my first few weeks of working as a librarian at the main city library. I usually was stationed at a downtown branch. For those first few weeks, it was amazing. I helped maintain the library collection, added to it through collection development, helped patrons get what they needed through reference interviews (talking them through searches for what they wanted), reader’s advisory (recommending them books based on their preferences), and more. It was everything I’d signed up for when I decided to become a librarian. I got a real satisfaction out of the job, out of being an agent of change and good in the community and in the lives of library users.

What was also good was that I made friends. See, I’d befriended a Library Tech named Jason. Young guy, in his mid-twenties. He was a more ‘alternative lifestyle’ type guy and was passionate about zines and comics, and deeply passionate about libraries. I liked him. On our lunch breaks, we’d chat for the whole break over graphic novels, library services to youth, and the potential for zines in library environments.

But in the midst of our friendship, something odd happened.

Now, before I get into that, I need to describe a hangout Jason and I had. We’d arranged to meet at one of the more prominent comic shops downtown to grab the latest Hellblazer trade paperback. We met up, bought a copy for each of us, then walked all the way to the city Art Gallery and had a lengthy lunch and conversation in the Art Gallery’s cafe, on the patio outside. As far as I was concerned, nothing was out of the ordinary when this was happening. Nothing.

So, imagine my surprise when I get a call from Jason the day after when I’m at home laying on my couch, reading a book.

“Hey, what’s up?” I casually asked as I picked up the phone.

“Barry, I’ll just get to it. Why’d you stand me up yesterday?” His voice was inquisitive, but also slightly accusatory - slightly hurt.

I sat up, furrowing my brow. “What? I never stood you up on you. We had a great time - grabbed what we wanted to get, and then had lunch at the Art Gallery.” After I said this, there was silence on the other end of the line, as if he didn’t know how to respond. “Jason,” I slowly asked, “what’s going on?” I could sense something was wrong.

“Barry, what you’re doing is really unfair and hurtful,” he said bluntly. “I wait outside the comic shop for over an hour for you, and you never show up. I was looking forward to us getting lunch, and you blew me off. Doing that without giving me fair warning is hurtful enough, but when you don’t even have a good excuse, and try to flagrantly bullshit your way through it? What’s wrong with you?” Now his voice was definitely hurt and slightly angry.

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” I said, angry. “What’s going on? I’m telling you, I was there!” I was forceful now, trying to get through to him.

“Okay, whatever,” he said shortly. “Forget about it. But I think you need to reconsider what it means to be a decent friend to others.” And with that, he hung up.

I didn’t know what the hell to think. Why would he just make up an issue like that, one that didn’t even exist? I mean, it wasn’t like him at all to create stupid drama like this. He was always straight to the point and had always disdained drama, as did I.

Well, it was eating at me, so I decided to get to the bottom of it. I threw my outdoor clothes on that very hour, and headed down to the comic shop.

I walked into the crowded and busy shop and looked around for the clerk Jason and I had spoken to the day before. Scanning the space behind the counter, I found him. Guy with a buzzcut and lots of piercings and a Batman logo T-shirt. I waved him over, and, his eyebrows rising inquisitively, he quickly strolled over to me and leaned on his side of the counter, looking down at me.

“What can I do for you, friend?” he asked helpfully.

“Hey,” I asked somewhat hesitantly. “Look, this is gonna sound really dumb, but I’m having some issues with a friend of mine - Jason, you’ve seen me and him in here before. We were here yesterday - I mean, you remember, since we bought some trades from you and chatted with you a bit - and… he says I wasn’t here. That I never showed up. I’m wondering if…” As I spoke, I realized how stupid this was. What, did I expect this guy to have some special insight into Jason’s mind? Into why Jason would make stuff up? Realizing this, I decided to abort mission. “Okay, no,” I said, waving my hand and smiling apologetically. “This is stupid, sorry for wasting your time.” After I said that, I turned to leave. But I was stopped.

As I was walking toward the door, the clerk called out to me. “Uh, you weren’t here at all.” That stopped me dead in my tracks. I looked back at him, my eyes wide.

“What?” I asked shakily.

He stared at me, not blinking, but visibly confused - I could see it in his eyes. “He showed up here, asked if you’d been by that day, we said no, then he went and bought a Hellblazer trade and left.”

Now I was pissed. This guy and Jason were playing some kind of absurd prank on me. Evidently my anger showed in my voice, and he then saw that I seriously didn’t understand what was happening, when I told him that what he was saying was absurd, because he put his hands up and made an offer to resolve things.

“Look, if it helps, I can show you the security camera footage from yesterday. What time were you both here at?”

“One in the afternoon,” I responded.

Minutes later, we were in the staff room where the security feeds were piped in. The clerk had just pressed Play on the tape showing the entrance at roughly the exact time Jason and I had entered the store.

Watching the footage, I saw people and clerks milling around, doing business…the usual. And then… at the point where I remembered coming in with Jason… nothing. We watched for a few more minutes, still nothing. Then Jason walked in and started talking to the clerk I was with.

“This is where he was asking about you,” the clerk said, pointing at the TV screen.

I watched in stunned silence as Jason finished talking to the clerk, nodded, walked into the store off-camera, then back with a Hellblazer trade - the exact one we were going to buy - and paid for it, then left with it. At this point the clerk stopped the playback, stood up and looked at me.

“I don’t know what to tell you, bro, but the camera doesn’t lie. You weren’t here.” I could sense not just conciliation in his voice, but a quiet steel edge. One that said “Don’t waste my time, I have an actual job to do.”

I nodded slowly, mumbled out some apologies, and then left. How did I feel? Shocked, stunned, sick. It was too surreal - I remembered being there. I remembered the whole day, every minor detail. How the sun felt as we walked down the street together. The minor chit-chat I’d had with the clerk as we bought our items. The walk to the Art Gallery, the pizza we’d ate at the diner. I mean, to break it to you even further, you know how you remember everything that happened to you yesterday? Imagine you remembered it perfectly, only it turned out that none of it actually happened. That’s the case here.

So, how’d I handle this? Well, I wasn’t sure how to at that point. Clearly something was wrong, so my first step was to schedule a doctor’s appointment. I had it set for the following week, and until then, I had to manage.

Then the other stuff started happening.

Back at work, I approached Jason in the staff room as our breaks were about to start. As I approached him, I saw his eyes go slightly wide as he noticed me. Stopping in front of him, I put my hands up apologetically.

“Jason,” I said, “look. I’m sorry, really sorry. I swear, as far as I knew, I did show up. I remembered…well, everything from spending the day with you that day. But, I get it, it never happened.” I paused, then continued. “Something’s wrong with me, clearly, and I’m getting it looked into. But I’m sorry, I am.”

Jason just stared at me for a moment, then slowly nodded and shrugged. “Well,” he said softly, “if it’s a medical issue, then how can I be mad? I hope you get it figured out, Barry.” I cracked a grin, we shook hands, and that was that.

When I got back from my break, I took my place behind the reference desk and went to work helping patrons with their inquiries. And then I saw it for the first time.

As I was idly scanning the library’s interior, waiting for a patron to approach me, I saw it standing there a ways away ahead of me, staring directly at me. A giant, man-sized hairless rabbit. It’s eyes were dark red, and its mouth was wide open with two rows of razor sharp teeth. I just stared at it for a brief moment, and then blinked, rubbing my eyes before opening them again fully. It was still there.

What the fuck?

As I stared at it, something strange started to happen. Well, not strange, really fucked up. These…gashes started to open up on the rabbit’s body, all over. And then thick, brown, ooze-ish blood started to bleed out. Then that same viscous liquid started to seep out from the corner of its eyes.

Feeling fucked up from this, I backed away, and blinked more times, trying to get it to go away. But when I opened my eyes when I finished blinking, I saw…oh God, I saw everyone in the library on the floor, dead. They were lying on the ground, their clothes ripped apart, deep knife wounds all over their bodies. Their blood was all over the floor, seeped deep into the carpet, staining it a dull reddish-brown.

My heart pounding, and me not knowing what the hell was going on or how to handle it, I… well, I took off. I ran like a bat out of hell out of the building.

I made it home within half an hour, and stumbled into my bathroom where I clumsily turned the tap on and splashed cold water in my face, trying to shock myself into sanity. I looked at myself in the mirror. Everything looked fine. But everything wasn’t fine. Now I was hallucinating.

So, the only thing left to do was see the doctor. Get meds. I called the doctor’s office, explained everything, and they slotted me in for the next day. I said thanks, hung the phone up, and then watched TV - uncomfortably, stressed out - for the next couple hours. Then I went to bed.

I slept soundly enough. I woke up normally, got dressed, and headed out.

And… well, that’s where things got even more fucked up.

I’m walking down the street to the doctor’s office. It was just a few blocks down, turn the corner, then another block and you’re there. I’m walking… and I’m walking… and I’m walking… and I realize that I’ve been walking for the past twenty minutes. And I’m not really any closer. I looked behind me. From that, I realized I was at the exact same spot I was ten minutes ago. Carefully, hesitantly, I took a few steps forward. This time I actually moved forward. Myself completely on edge, I moved forward more, making it to the corner. Rounding the corner, I found… something incomprehensible.

It was this bizarre maze, a kind of labyrinth, of roads, of various intersections kind of merged into one. There were buildings from various parts of the city, all shoved up next to each other like some kind of LEGO set put together by a messy and disorganized five year old. Now at this point, I was freaking out. I looked behind me, to retrace my steps, but behind me was the same maze and labyrinth. What the hell was going on? Starting to panic, but also trying to calm myself down, I decided - I’d try to find my way out of this. Picking the path that seemed best (and how could I even know which one was best? Ugh), I began to walk down it. Down the winding maze and path of the road, I walked to and fro. Finally, I started to recognize some of the urban geography in the distance. Moving closer and closer, I finally was in the midst of it. Then, looking behind me… I saw that area of the city behind me. None of the labyrinth.

Shocked and stunned, I scanned my surroundings - I recognized this place. This was the outlying edge of one of the outlying suburbs of the city. I’d been here before for a benefit concert. But here’s the thing - it takes two hours to get here on transit. I’d been walking for just thirty minutes. There was no way I could get here in that time. It was literally physically impossible.

That’s the point where I realized something was wrong. Seriously wrong. Not with me, but with the world. It all started to fit together at that point - I clearly remembered things that never happened, and I was seeing things - horrifying things - that weren’t actually there. And now the city was reshaping and twisting itself around me, turning into a kind of circus house of mirrors.

So… I made my way back home, and went to work. I began searching on the Internet for what was happening to me, seeing if anyone or anything could offer any insight. No such luck. All that came up was comic book fanfiction. After about five more hours of searching, I gave up in frustration. I didn’t know what to do or how I’d get through it. At that point, I… well, I prayed. I’d never been a really religious person, but at that moment I felt so so profoundly scared, alone, and powerless. Something was fucking with me in a profound way, and I had no idea who or what it was, and I knew - I knew - even without knowing what it was, that I was powerless to stop it.

Well, I powered through. It was the only thing I could do.

I sucked it up, suppressed my sheer existential terror, and continued on.

Things only got worse.

I kept seeing things. More things. Dead children, their throats cut wide open with blood gushing down all over their chests, continually, never-ending. The city kept changing on me. I’d walk for hours and hours and hours just to get from my place to my work, which was usually a twenty minute walk. I’d see faces in building windows as I passed by - horrible, monstrous faces, belonging to beasts which couldn’t exist, blood dripping from their jaws. It kept happening for months, intensifying in frequency and intensity gradually over time. It ate away at my nerves and my sanity, more and more and more. My heart would be beating itself out of my chest near-constantly. I was constantly on edge, constantly terrified something would happen to me. A usual day, around the end of it, would be me terrified, stressed, and anxious, and barely able to focus or deal with people.

Finally, I hit my limit. I broke. I woke up one morning, and - not knowing what whatever it was would throw at me next, and being terrified at not knowing - broke down into vicious sobs. I sobbed, so stressed and anxious and scared, for the next hour.

It also affected my work. I was a nervous wreck at work - snappish, sleep deprived, anxious and wired the whole day. One day Jason cornered me after work.

“Barry, dude, you okay?” he asked me. He was deeply concerned, I could tell from the sound of his voice.

“I-I’m fine,” I stammered out, my heart pounding hard as I wondered what’d happen next.

“Look, I’m worried about you, and I-” I cut him off before he could finish.

“I said I’m fine!” I shouted in his face before hurrying off.

But then… then I had a fortunate turn of events.

I was web surfing late at night, trying to take my mind off of everything. And through my searches, I happened upon an article from two years ago. A homeless man, well-beloved by the network of homeless people in the city and by social workers who worked with that population, had killed himself. Cut his throat open from ear to ear in a library bathroom. But that wasn’t what held my interest. It was what his loved ones said about the lead-up to his death.

They said that he had been seeing things - hallucinations. Not only that, that he reported the city twisting and shaping itself in horrible and crazy ways day in and day out for him. Eventually, it all hit a fever peak. He wasn’t able to function anymore. He’d break down sobbing at random points in the day. He’d start screaming at random, and more than once had the police called on him for causing a disturbance. Finally, it got to the point where they found his blood-drenched body in the bathroom of a suburban library.

This was it. This was it. This was what was happening to me! Not only that, with this being a thread I could follow, it could very well lead to the solution to my problem.

I spent the next few hours asleep, after an hour of forcing myself into sleep. I tossed and turned and dreamed. I needed this lifeline - and I’d get it. No matter the cost.

I called in two weeks of vacation time from the library, and went to work. For the next week, I explored the run-down ‘ghetto’ part of the city, where this man usually hung around. I went around asking people about him, about who I could talk to that knew him, but most didn’t really want to talk to me when they found out that I was looking for that group of people. How can I blame them? I was an outsider, someone trying to track down friends and acquaintances of theirs for God knows what reason.

But finally, I caught a break. It was the early afternoon, a sunny day, about a week into my search. I was doing my rounds, asking around that area of the city, when I approached a particular person. He was short, with a mohawk and a rough look - lots of tattoos, lots of tattered leather. As I walked up to him, he glanced over at me and looked me up and down.

I explained who I was, who I was looking for, and - after a moment’s hesitation - he told me about this old lady, Jenny, who usually hung around the intersection a block or two down the road from where I was, by an old hotel re-purposed into affordable housing. Apparently she was the last person to have spoken to him.

I made my way down there, and when I got within distance I spotted her right away. Dirty, stringy hair, ratty and stained clothes, and a shopping cart full of junk. This had to be her. She was knitting as I approached her.

I walked over to her, and was about to introduce myself and explain why I was there, when she looked up at me and smiled.

“Barry! It’s about time you got here.” Her voice was sweet, gentle - the kind you’d expect your grandma to have. But it was also somewhat scratchy and slurred.

I was surprised, and didn’t know what to make of this person knowing who I was. I’d never even met her, and she’d never even seen me before. To be honest, I found it kind of scary. But still, I decided to roll with it. I needed to, in order to figure out what was happening to me.

I slowly sat down next to her, and looked over at her.

“I was told you were the last one who talked to Reginald. Guy who ended up killing himself, was in the news way back.”

She responded cheerfully and immediately. “Reginald was an old friend. We’d see each other around every now and then, but then things started going so badly for him.” Her voice turned sad at this, as did her facial expression. Then it turned happy again. “But I was able to tell him how things were, what was happening.” She flashed me a wicked smile. “The city tells Jenny things, every now and then.”

Now I was both interested and also a mix of confused and frightened. What was going on? What did she mean by ‘the city tells Jenny things’?

All I could utter was the question, “What’s going on? What’s happening to me?”

Examining her hands as she responded, her voice very casual and nonchalant, she said, “It’s the city. It wants what it wants, and it loves to be pleased.”

I stared at her as I resisted the urge to disregard what she was saying. I started to seriously consider what she was saying… and, my God, it made a dark, twisted kind of sense. The city twisting all around me. The visions. The lost days where I remembered things that never actually happened. Could it actually be… the city? I looked around myself, up at all the tall buildings stretching up towards the sky. Could it all be… alive?

Slowly, I looked down and back at her. “Are you saying it’s the city? The city is alive, and doing all this to me?”

She just looked over at me, a blank expression on her face. At that moment, just looking at her, I started to feel very, very disturbed and chilled. Just the emptiness in her eyes. Finally, she spoke.

“It’ll get you too, you know. When it picks its favorites, it never lets them go.” Then, giggling, she returned to her knitting.

I got up and started to walk away, then started to run. Panic was taking over. This… this was insane. How could the city be alive? But I realized what I needed to do. I needed to get out.

I ran and ran and ran and soon was in a decent part of town. Catching, out of the corner of my eye, a car rental service, I went in. Minutes later, I was pulling out into the street in the rental car. Then, I started to drive.

I wasn’t going to go home for my things. I wasn’t even going to call in to quit my job. I had to get out. That was the most important thing. I couldn’t risk doing anything else. As those thoughts ran through my mind, my heart pounded desperately against my chest and I felt so much fear that anything could, and perhaps likely would, happen. The city would know that I was trying to leave. It would know, and it would try to stop me.

That’s exactly what happened.

I was driving for about half an hour, straight toward the city limits. But at the end of that half hour, I realized something - I was going in circles. It was very subtle, because I never went down the exact same route the exact same way, but I finally noticed myself passing similar landmarks on a recurring basis. It was impossible, in a logical world - I’d been going straight for the edge of the city. But I knew what was really happening.

So, what could I do? I gunned in. Took off in the car as fast as I could. Maybe I could outrace the city. The city buildings flew by me, and I felt the car swerve and lean as I tore around corners. I felt the speed vibrate through the car into every part of my body, and as I did so, I felt something peculiar. An odd sort of fear. A sensation. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I was being watched. Now I’d really gotten its attention.

As the buildings sped past me in an almost-blur, something odd happened. The city’s shape shifted and changed in front of me. Finally, I was in this jarring nightmare-like landscape. The sky was red with a black sun, and the buildings were twisted and shattered facsimiles of the ordinary buildings you usually see in a city’s downtown core. The road was cracked and broken, and I caught the smell of flames radiating in from the city. I guessed that the city was making its final play. At this point, I was terrified. My blood was pumping, along with the adrenaline, and my heart was pounding. I had no idea if I’d make it out. But, I had to try.

I gunned it even harder and sped through the twisted landscape. As I was doing this, I was trying to figure out how to actually get out of the city. Jenny had said that the city always got its favorites, but I wasn’t just gonna lay down and die. I had to do something.

Then I started to feel heavy.

Yawning, I tried to keep my eyes open. But I just kept feeling like they wanted to close. Finally, I figured it out. I was passing out. It became harder and harder to move my arms, my legs, to keep my eyes open. It was like something had drugged me. So this was it, then. The city was going to win.

But then I had an idea. A crazy one, one that could have only come into my mind when I had nothing else to lose.

Forcing my eyes open for a couple more brief moments, I scanned my landscape. Catching a decent spot, I decided on it. Suddenly swerving the car off to the side, straight into the direction of what looked like a skyscraper, I closed my eyes as the car sped directly into the face of the building.

Then I opened them.

When I opened my eyes, I didn’t feel tired anymore. Not at all. I scanned my surroundings. I was driving at a regular speed, well within the speed limit, on a long highway. Getting a glimpse at a passing sign, I realized - I was at least ten miles outside of the city. I’d made it. I still don’t know why or how it worked, exactly, but I’d made it out.

So, what else do you need to know? I made it to the next province over, and stopped in their capital. I’m not gonna bore you with the details of how I got set up again, but after about a month - and it was kind of rough - I had found employment at a provincial archive. That’s where I’ve been for the past five years, now.

What would I say to anyone who happens to make it to the city? I don’t know. It was luck and it screwing up, I think, that got me out. The best advice I can offer is to avoid that general region to make sure you don’t end up in its grip.

Still… sometimes I think it hasn’t given up. I still dream of the city - beautiful dreams, where everything is lit up beautifully in the sunlight, and I feel so warm and at peace. I’ll dream those dreams, and wake up in the middle of the night, desperately wanting to go back. Those feelings will pop up at various points throughout my day, and linger in me, and I know what they are and where they’re from. That’s why I don’t dare risk saying the name of the city.

Because it might just be enough to give it the power it needs to pull me back in for good.

[ruffsficstuffplace]

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 40)

“That was amazing!” Weiss cried as they teleported back into the Core and their usual clothes. “I haven't had so much fun in years!” she said, all that giddiness getting so much she has to jump around in place like a little kid on a sugar high.

And just like a little kid on a sugar high, she really can't care that everyone's watching.

Blake smirked. <What happened to 'just this once'?> she asked.

“I changed my mind,” Weiss said as she slowed down some. “I can do that, can't I?”

“So does this mean you're going to be our Sapphire Ranger permanently…?” Ruby asked.

Weiss stopped then nodded. “Yes.”

Beat. (Which, for those of you that don't know it, is the time it takes to breath once.)

“YAY!” Ruby cried, before she charged Weiss and jumped right into her arms.

“GAH!” Weiss yelled as became the newest victim to the Flying Fawn Tackle, one of Ruby's favourite forms of affection/hand-to-hand combat moves.

(Fun Fact: Baby Reindeer are actually called “Calves,” but “Flying Calf Tackle” doesn't sound as nice.)

Yang laughed as the two hit the floor. “Cool it, lovebirds! I get Ruby's pretty horny, but we're still in the Core.”

“Though I've become accustomed to all manner of depravity, eccentricities, and unusual displays and acts throughout my thousand or so years of life… yes, I would prefer it if you two don't--” Eluna made a sexy animal noise “--in the Core, I kind of live here...”

“Okay first of all: RUBY, GET OFF ME THEN HELP ME UP!” Weiss yelled.

Ruby did.

“Thank you. And second of all: WE'RE NOT EVEN GIRLFRIENDS, STOP THINKING THAT WE'RE GOING TO--” Weiss stopped.

Ruby made a sexy animal noise, with a little “?” at the end that you could hear.

Weiss turned red. “Yes, that.”

“We really aren't girlfriends, guys,” Ruby said.

And since Ruby's pretty much incapable of being anything other than completely honest, you know you can believe her.

“But just in case you or anyone else change their minds at a later date: romantic relationships between Rangers certainly isn't encouraged, but not illegal, either,” Eluna said. “Stronger than friendship Romantic Love may be, but it carries a lot more baggage, and I'd rather Avalon not be screwed over by a lover's spat.”

She narrowed her eyes. “And seriously: no fucking in the Core.”

Yang shook her head. “Ellie, you realize that's just making it all the more tempting, right?”

“You do that, and I'll show you what it's like to be on the receiving end of a Starlight Spear,” Eluna snapped. “But back to more important matters: I'll be here monitoring activity, you girls get some rest or just wind down, seeing as I'm the immortal deity and you guys aren't.”

She turned around to the giant-ass rune in the center. “Breaking character for a moment: there's about two and a half hours of real time left for your honey dream before you need another dose, and you can only stretch your mind's perception of time so far before it starts to become dangerous.”

“Oh, wow, how long have we been here?” Weiss asked.

“Probably about little over a half-hour real-time, including all the freezes to explain stuff to you,” Ruby said. “Yang being persona non grata aside, we can fit a lot more catching up in a honey dream than anywhere else.”

“And speaking of catching up: it's been fun kicking ass, yelling cool catchphrases, and doing silly poses with you guys, but I think I'd like to do some of that with Rubes over here,” Yang said, throwing her arm around her shoulders. “You mind if Qrow gives us his review now?”

“Just one more thing before he does,” Weiss asked. “Why do my, Ruby, and Penny's outfits have skirts, if they're we're all wearing full-body suits?”

“Because combat skirts look cool!” Ruby said, smiling.

Weiss nodded. “Okay, that I'll agree with. But why do mine specifically have 'stockings' that are of a different colour…?”

Ruby kept on smiling. “Oh, you know: no particular reason! Hit it, Golem Qrow!”

Qrow's Closer:

In Ten Words Or Less: “Good first try, still messier than it needed to be.”

Commands:

Perform 3/3 Team Acrobatics With Weiss

Perform 3/3 Team Attacks With Weiss

Defeat the Captain with a Finishing Move

Don't get hit by the Sticky Bombs

Rating: Fury Blockbuster

“Oh COME ON!” Yang said. “That should of at least been a 'Holo of the Year!'”

Be happy I felt generous for princess over here and didn't downgrade this to “Top Ten in HV-on-Demand.” Practice some more, try not to get blown up or fly off in decidedly un-badass ways so much, and by the end of this season, you guys will be a team of grade-A, certified BAMFs.

You've got the chemistry, that's for sure, but the skill isn't there just yet.

Taking you guys back to the Lobby in 3… 2… 1…

Weiss found herself back in the white expanse with the others.

“Am I forced to stay here, or can I 'disconnect'?” she asked.

Yang shrugged. “Your choice, princess! So long as you don't try to learn anything the Council hasn't cleared you for, you're free to do anything you want. Before you do anything spicy, though, just know that Miko's legally obliged to review all the footage from this particular dreamcatcher and tell the Chroniclers about it.

“Well, we're off! Lotta shit to talk about, the Bastion isn't the only place that's been busy...”

Ruby waved. “See you guys back in the real world!”

The two of them faded away.

Weiss turned to the others. “Any ideas on what I can do now?”

“Though this dreamcatcher is open for modification, the creation of a new dream might consume a lot of your time, and be more stressful than relaxing,” Penny explained.

“So are there any other preloaded scenarios?”

Blake shifted about nervously. <Well, there is the one I use after Rune Rangers...>

“Then let's do that!” Weiss said.

Blake frowned. <Promise you won't laugh or make fun of me?>

Weiss smiled. “I promise.”

The world around them shifted. Now, Weiss found herself standing in the streets of an urban metropolis, not the gleaming metal and glass of Candela, but much older buildings made of brick and mortar, with architectural styles that had long been phased out, or survived only by the grace of enthusiasts of “Old World” designs.

Her clothes had changed into a white trench coat, with matching thigh high boots, and a beret over her head—all for the better, as her Fae dress would have been woefully unfit for the gloomy, foggy, and overall miserable weather that night.

Weiss looked up, saw just one moon up in that black sky. She craned her neck across the skyline, saw a tall, iconic building from her Old World History classes: the Empire State. She turned back to Blake, now dressed in a white shirt, black pants, and leather boots with metal buckles on the straps.

She eyed the faces of the pedestrians streaming all about them, walking with purpose, ignoring everyone around them or interacting solely with their in-groups. It was a mix of everything you could have found in the Sol System way back when, except for the particularly pale types who had hints of sharp fangs peeking past their lips, or looked a lot deader inside than usual.

Weiss turned back to Blake. “Are we in The Midnight Society?”

Blake looked away sheepishly. <Yeah, I know it's really old, and cheesy, and-->

She stopped as Weiss grabbed her hands, a look of pure joy on her face. “I thought I was the only one...” she whispered, eyes sparkling. “Can be a Maharani?”

Blake blinked. <Only if you aren't magically able to control EVERYONE with your Dominate, including the First Ones. I used to let Yang be one, now she's permanently a Tyrtaeus.>

“Oh, believe me, I will practice MUCH more restraint and class than she ever could, as befitting a member of Royalty!” Weiss said, turning her nose up in the most snobbish way possible.

Blake chuckled. <Maharani it is.>

Weiss squealed with delight as she felt power surge into her, sharp fangs sprout from her teeth, her already pale skin become a beautiful if unnerving shade of porcelain white. “Oh, this is perfect...” she purred.

“Shall we go find some politicians, supermodels, and other people of noble birth and high status for you to feed on, mistress~?” Penny asked as she came up, looking not unlike a regular human if not for the intentionally dead, hollow look in her eyes.

“Let's!” Weiss hummed. “Oh, wait: what bloodline are you Blake? No, let me guess: Grendulus?”

Blake scowled. <Oh, just because I'm a Fae, you automatically assume I'm going to want to be the animal-shifter vampires? That's racist, Weiss.>

Weiss winced. “Sorry.”

With much less bite, Blake continued, <… I mean, you're not WRONG, but that's still racist!>

Weiss smiled. “Shall I apologize by finding something to satisfy your hunger first?”

Blake nodded. <That'd be great. By the way, you can't use your runeblade because you're the wrong bloodline.>

“I know, which is why I'd like a gun this time.”

Penny handed her a .357 Magnum, chromed metal and pearl grips.

“Thank you,” Weiss said as she put it inside a discrete inner pocket of her coat.

<Don't want to get blood all over yourself?> Blake asked.

Weiss put on a look of mock disgust. “Do you know how much all of these cost?”

They paused for a moment, before they started giggling.

The rest of the pedestrians continued to ignore them as they made their way to the nicer parts of downtown.

[isearchgoood]

Getting Smarter with SERPs - Whiteboard Friday

Posted by rjonesx.

Modern SERPs require modern understanding. National SERPs are a myth — these days, everything is local. And when we're basing important decisions on SERPs and ranking, using the highest quality data is key. Russ Jones explores the problem with SERPs, data quality, and existing solutions in this edition of Whiteboard Friday.

Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Hey, folks, this is Russ Jones here again with another exciting edition of Whiteboard Friday. Exciting might be an exaggeration, but it really is important to me because today we're going to talk about data quality. I know I harp on this a whole lot.

It's just, as a data scientist, quality is really important to me. Here at Moz, we've made it a priority of the last several years, from improving the quality of our Domain Authority score, improving Spam Score, completely changing the way we identify the search volume in particular keywords. Quality is just part of our culture here.

Today I want to talk about a quality issue and probably the most important metric in search engine optimization, which are search rankings. Now I know there's this contingent of SEOs who say you shouldn't look at your search rankings. You should just focus on building better content and doing better outreach and just let it happen.

But for the vast majority of us, we look at our rankings for the purposes of determining how we're performing, and we make decisions based on those rankings. If a site stops performing as well for a very important keyword, well, then we might spend some money to improve the content on that page or to do more outreach for it.

We make important decisions, budgetary decisions on what the SERPs say. But we've known for a while that there's a pretty big problem with the SERPs, and that's personalization. There just is no national search anymore, and there hasn't been for a long time. We've known this, and we've tried different ways to fix it.

Today I want to talk about a way that Moz is going about this that I think is really exceptional and is frankly going to revolutionize the way in which all SERPs are collected in the future. 

What's wrong with SERPs?

1. Geography is king

Let's just take a step back and talk a little bit about what's wrong with SERPs. Several years back I was a consultant and I was helping out a nonprofit organization that wanted to rank for the keyword "entrepreneurship."

They offered grants and training and all sorts of stuff. They really deserved to rank for the term. Then one day I searched for the term, as SEOs do. Even though they rank track, they still check it themselves. I noticed that several local universities to where I live, the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill and Duke, had popped up into the search results because they were now offering entrepreneurship programs and Google had geolocated me to the Durham area.

Well, this wasn't represented at all in the rank tracking that we were doing. You see, the nationalized search at that time was not picking up any kind of local signals because there weren't any colleges or universities around the data center which we were using to collect the search results.

That was a big problem because that one day Google rolled out some sort of update that improved geolocation and ultimately ended up taking a lot of traffic away for that primary keyword because local sites were starting to rank all across the country. So as SEOs we decided to fight back, and the strategy we used was what I call centroid search.

2. Centroid search sucks

The idea is pretty simple. You take a town, a city, a state, or even a country. You find the latitude and longitude of the dead center of that location, and then you feed that to Google in the UULE parameter so that you get a search result from what would happen if you were standing right there in that specific latitude and longitude and perform the search.

Well, we know that that's not really a good idea. The reason is pretty clear. Let me give an example. This would be a local example for a business that's trying to perform well inside of a small city, a medium town or so. This is actually, despite the fact that it's drawn poorly, the locations of several Italian restaurants in South Bend, Indiana.

So as you can see, each little red one identifies a different Italian restaurant, and the centroid of the city is right here, this little green star. Well, there's a problem. If you were to collect a SERP this way, you would be influenced dramatically by this handful of Italian restaurants right there in the center of the city.

But the problem with that is that these blue circles that I've drawn actually represent areas of increased population density. You see most cities, they have a populous downtown, but they also have around the outside suburban areas which are just as population dense or close to as population dense.

At the same time, they don't get represented because they're not in the middle of the city. So what do we do? How do we get a better representation of what the average person in that city would see? 

3. Sampled search succeeds

Well, the answer is what we call sampled search. There are lots of ways to go about it.

Right now, the way we're doing it in particular is looking at the centroids of clusters of zip codes that are overlapping inside a particular city. 

As an example, although not exactly what would happen inside of Local Market Analytics, each one of these purple stars would represent different latitudes and longitudes that we would select in order to grab a search engine result and then blend them together in a way based on things like population density or proximity issues, and give us back a result that is much more like the average searcher would see than what the one person standing in the center part of the city would see.

We know that this works better because it correlates more with local search traffic than does the centroid search. Of course, there are other ways we could go about this. For example, instead of using geography, we could use population density specifically, and we can do a lot better job in identifying exactly what the average searcher would see.

But this just isn't a local problem. It isn't just for companies that are in cities. It's for any website that wants to rank anywhere in the United States, including those that just want to rank generically across the entire country. You see, right now, the way that national SERPs tend to be collected is by adding a UULE of the dead center of the United States of America.

Now I think pretty much everybody here can understand why that's a very poor representation of what the average person in the United States would see. But if we must get into it, as you can imagine, the center part of the United States is not population-dense.

We find population areas throughout the coastlines for the most part that have a lot more people in them. It would make a lot better sense to sample search results from all sorts of different locations, both rural and urban, in order to identify what the average person in the United States would see.



Centroid search delivers you a myopic view of this very specific area. Whereas sampled search can give you this blended model that is much more like what the average American or in any country or county or city or even neighborhood would see. So I actually think that this is the model that SERPs in general will be moving to in the future, at least SERP collection.

The future of SERPs

If we continue to rely on this centroid method, we're going to continue to deliver results to our customers that just aren't accurate and simply aren't valuable. But by using the sampled model, we'll be able to deliver our customers a much more quality experience, a SERP that is blended in a way that it represents the traffic that they're actually going to get, and in doing so, we'll finally solve, to at least a certain degree, this problem of personalization.

Now I look forward to Moz implementing this across the board. Right now you can get in Local Market Analytics. I hope that other organizations follow suit, because this kind of quality improvement in SERP collection is the type of quality that is demanded of an industry that is using technology to improve businesses' performance. Without quality, we might as well not be doing it at all.

Thanks for hearing me out. I'd like to hear what you have to say in the comments, and in the SERPs as well, and hopefully we'll be able to talk through some more ideas on quality. Looking forward to it. Thanks again.

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

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