#i should have written this drunk
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thesummerstorms · 22 days ago
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11 or 35 for the Rook story time asks!
35. Crow!Rook’s graduation from Fledgling to Assassin.
This turned out like... ten times longer than I originally anticipated, so I apologize in advance.
The contract had been an unusually bloody affair, but that was typical of a graduation. No Crow worth the name was just handed the title after all, especially not in Esma de Riva's House.
For all that the Fifth Talon was milder on her Fledglings than some of the stories she'd heard from the older mage compradi - in so much as milder meant not wasting an investment unnecessarily, not starving them outside of training or punishment, not being House Arainai- the woman did like her tests.
To Esma, Crows were only as good as their worst, their weakest moments, and that went double for Mages. Arsinoë couldn't help but wonder if that philosophy had been handed down from the Talon's Chantry-Cleric mother... but she absolutely knew better than to ask, even just to Viago.
It was fine. She was fine. Her arm and fingers and ribs all itched and ached where the potion was achingly slow at knitting the bone back together, but it was fine. It was over.
Admittedly, she wished Esma kept more than one proper spirit healer on the books, the way most of the Talons' Houses did, someone to put that skittering wisp hovering just in earshot to work, but-
But no, she didn't wish that. How many times had Viago told her?
It was Esma's very distrust for mages and the resulting lack of mage recruits over the years that had kept her ... well, not safe. No Crow or Mage was ever safe. But it gave her an advantage, an edge the other fledglings didn't have, to be needed. A mage was an expensive investment.
Bile stung at the back of her throat at the thought. Her stomach twisted, even as she tried to hold back the empty heaving. Pain lanced her chest again, so sharp that the beams of the infirmary rafters above her cot disappeared in a blur of new tears.
It would be fine. The physician Esma had deigned to bring once everything was over had said as much. He hadn't been a spirit healer, and he hadn't bothered to give her pain killers or talk to her directly, but he had done that. Looked at her with dark, dispassionate eyes and promised Esma there would be no loss of function once the potions had run their course.
Of course not. Esma didn't like needless waste. Something she credited to her merchant prince father when entertaining guests.
If anything, Arsinoë almost thought she had seen the Talon scowling when the physician prodded at the long deep cuts down her cheek, the one curving from her collar bone down between the valley of her breasts. She wouldn't have believed it but-
Facial scars are too easy to recognize.
It would bring her value down on a Contract. Lucky then, that she was a mage, a lightning-wielder, not a seductress or a spy.
None of this would have happened if-
Arsinoë swallowed again, blinked her eyes in an attempt to clear them, and wished that wisp would go away and stop with its odd little noises. She wanted to yell, try to scare it off... but it was already so hard to catch her breath. Besides, no one could find out that she heard or saw the damn thing so clearly after years of pretending otherwise.
So the job had been bloody, especially for someone whose best teacher was primarily a poisoner. Just her, a mage's stiletto, and a last minute contract on a target who seemed all too aware someone would be coming.
But she had managed. More than managed. No one had seen so much as a bloody footprint when she slipped back out from the dead man's chambers and back into Salle's side streets.
Maybe if she had been a duelist or a poisoner, that's where it would have ended. Arsinoë had never asked Viago, and he wouldn't have been able to tell her.
But Arsinoë was a mage. There was always another test for a mage. Stupid of her to forget that, even in a moment of victory. Stupid of her to trust one of Esma's men.
The torturer had reminded her of that while they worked, their voice neither condemning or sympathetic.
A mage was a risk like no other kind of Crow. How would a client take it if some Crow listened too carefully to the whispers from beyond the Veil, whether it be in a moment of greed or pain or terror? How would the Crows ever recover their reputation if a Crow, from any House, could be made an abomination from something as mundane as agony?
The Fifth Talon had to be sure.
And Arsinoë, who had more practice that she would ever confess at ignoring the whispers of interested spirits, who had survived a Circle where Templars went readily with their hands already at their blades... Arsinoë had endured. Because she had to.
A mage would always be tested. Even her mother, an Apostate with more hatred for the Chantry than anyone Arsinoë had met before or since, had told her as much. A mage had to keep control.
Arsinoë had kept control.
That meant something, even now with the room still spinning from pain and from the mix of potions and poisons and antidotes that had been poured down her throat. The small brand on her hip proved it, marked her as a Harrowed Crow, a sign of protection if you could find the right Templar for the House to bribe.
Maybe in the morning she would even be happy about it. But it was hard to feel much now beyond the aches and the nausea and the silence of the otherwise empty room, broken only by that damn wisp.
Her eyes blurred again, and then her mind. Just the quiet and the pain and the occasional flash of interest-hurt-worry from the wisp. Viago would have scolded her if he hadn't been off on a Contract, but Arsinoë found she was too tired to care about whatever someone might try to do to her now.
It felt like hours later, maybe longer, when the clinking of glass vials finally drew her attention back the present. The physician back with more potions? But he had said she'd been given all the tonics she could safely consume for the time being. If not him then-
Maker. Just leave me alone. Please.
She groaned, and the noises at her bedside stopped. A shadow fell across the back of her closed eyelids, followed a second later by a touch to her bandaged cheek that was just a little too firm for comfort.
"Arsinoë?"
That sounded like Viago. Was she hallucinating Viago's voice now? She had thought being off in the Free Marches would at least keep him from lecturing her.
"Arsinoë." Definitely Viago. He sounded pissed, as usual, though the hand that stayed pressed against her face was new. "Arsinoë de Riva, stop pretending to sleep and tell me what that moron has been giving you."
That sounded like an order, so after a moment of deep resentment for the command, she forced her eyes back open, taking in the scene in bits and pieces. A blue leather glove at the edge of her vision. Weak sunlight through the high windows. A slight blur over the world, no matter where she looked. Everything had fallen quiet again, waiting for her reply.
And yes. There was Viago.
"Did..." her voice felt stuck in her throat, her mouth dry, "Did you scare off the wisp?"
"The wisp?" Viago's scowl deepened, and abruptly he drew his hand back, reaching for whatever he had been working on before she caught his attention. "Never mind, don't tell me, I don't want to know."
He waited a moment for her to argue. When she didn't, he added, "You're feverish. I suppose there's no point in asking what you remember about the viscosity of the tinctures you were given, is there?"
She thought about it for half a second, trying, but the mixtures she had been given kept slipping from her mind. She had something more important to tell him, didn't she? Something he needed to know more?
"Vi, I-"
I'm a Crow, she should have said. I passed. Whatever happens, I'll die as Crow.
She should have said, I graduated.
What came out was "Vi.. I'm safe."
Her voice came out all wrong, too weak at the ends, almost questioning, but she needed him to know. Whatever happened next, she would die as a Crow, and an Antivan, and not just an Apostate.
Viago's face scrunched up strangely. For a moment it looked like he was going to reach over and poke at her again, but his hand only rose and fell back to his side.
"Yes..." He said softly. "Yes, I'm watching the exits. And I'll fix this."
That wasn't what she had meant, but Viago was strange at the best of times. She let it go, closing her eyes as he began his familiar prattle about reagents and the comparative virtues of embrium versus arbor's blessing versus elf root, letting the words wash over her in waves.
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longagoitwastuesday · 5 months ago
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I actually like the last chapter. I think the ideas are very good. I have my qualms on how some things were managed, as I always do, but I think shonen authors get tangled in the expectations of a shonen to the point it jeopardises their writing, often even when they're not lacking in skills
#I think the nothingness‚ the absence‚ the moving on despite everything‚... is a good if heartbreaking idea#and we do see snippets of it throughout the entire manga‚ yet I think it is mostly lacking in execution#I like the quiet ways in which we see the characters mourn. How Megumi laughs at the letter‚#how Shoko muses about how Satoru should have let her take care of Geto's body‚ the faint smile when Megumi agrees‚#how Shoko quits smoking again‚ Yuuji giving this person hope and a second chance‚ making a reference to him not being executed‚#and giving Sukuna too a chance for him to take one day a different path#All those are very good ideas and all those are very moving quiet ways of grieving. But. It feels in general so lacking#There's so much of everything else in contrast‚ even things that have way less importance narratively than this most of the time‚#that it feels lacking. Especially with how one has to dig to find these things. There's so much that could have been done with the same idea#And done so much better. But the idea is good. The absences are good. The quiet presences are good.The nothingness is good if bitter and sad#But it could have been written better#I also think this ending with Yuuji apparently knowing about Sukuna‚ his lies‚ his little hint of softness‚ the potential second path‚...#makes even more believable why he'd try at all to offer him a second chance. And I love that Yuuji knows him and I love that he still...#leaves the door open for that second chance to occur at some point. Trusting that Sukuna would walk that other path next time#And I love that without openly acknowledging Gojo he demonstrates that he hasn't forgotten him in his acting#How he gives that guy a second chance‚ how he jokes about him not getting executed‚ how he wants to make sure people‚ 'problem children'‚#don't get left behind. He doesn't mimick Gojo in his power but in this flippant but caring aspect and thus he's not forgotten#I do like this. It's heartbreaking. Gojo's desire to be forgotten is bittersweet as it's in a way a desire for... normalcy and humanity#To be surpassed. It goes well with how Gege says Gojo can do anything and thus why he does nothing‚ not even hobbies‚#to leave something for the future generations and not being another wall in their achievements#Gojo's desire to be forgotten is in line with the constancy of his writing when it comes to being drunk on his status#and yet resentful of his loneliness. It's a mix of being left behind and not being left behind#For being left behind and forgotten would mean he is more like the rest. Just another step forwards#And he'd have done what he wanted to achieve. Sorcerers can't stop a long while to grieve but Yuuji takes his words and actions#into consideration and steps forwards. Does the same. Fulfills Gojo's expectations. Walks towards the future. And that's the legacy Gojo#wanted and not going down in history as a legend or the strongest. He was just a teacher. Like Yaga was. He was not even the principal#Just a teacher. His role‚ the role he chose for himself‚ has been fulfilled. Now all this could have done way better#Something of Yuta and Megumi given their dynamics with Gojo would have been good. But I guess Gojo's 'at least one' works well#with Yuuji being the one doing the work. Yuuji was also ontologically alienated since birth and still he too remained cheerful and flippant#despite being so lonely so I guess the final parallel is intentional. But it could have been managed better still. The idea is good though
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maddiem4 · 5 months ago
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Seeing posts tonight about how "Internet archive good, AI training bad" is somehow an inconsistent pair of philosophical positions. I'm trying not to scream in frustration. Every single one of these posts predictes itself on buying into the mind prison of intellectual property and the dichotomy that everyone is either pro-IP or anti-IP. Historicity and credit aren't valid concerns apparently.
Treating the Internet Archive and OpenAI like "eh đŸ€·â€â™€ïž same thing" because they technically have traits in common according to a catastrophically terrible legal framework, is such Plato's Definition of a Man energy that it hurts to stare directly at it. One is a wall against entropy in the realm of human creativity, the other is psychic microplastics. A position that conflates them, like existing IP frameworks do, is some clown shit.
The one bit of grace I'll give here is that because IP law is law, on the books today, with legal ramifications that we're forced to live with now, we're all kind of forced by practicality into some level of legitimizing engagement with the mind prison. We do have to grapple with the bad borderlines we have, and that is a valid lens. But it's also more imperative than ever to have a conversation about why those borders are bad, how they could be redrawn to protect artists and historians alike, and how to make those goals reality. That is not a conversation you're going to see on the posts I'm talking about, where if you don't fit either nonsensical extreme position the OP considers "consistent," you're apparently an idiot.
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neverfruit · 9 months ago
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Actually my real thoughts on six feet under is that Nate is an awful person. David is such a classic progressive gay character 2001 style (which means it's genuinely kinda bad in some areas but it's the thought that counts) and that's Claire and Brenda are my favorites which I wouldn't have guessed season one but I truly love them and I think they deserve the world.
Also Russell was raped. Like the show does not take that stance and it really blames him but that's not on him. It was very much rape and I think everyone should have been much kinder to him about that
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stayliquidarchive · 2 years ago
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closed starter for @silvrmoon !!
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" okay, okay, i hear you. " justin was quick to indulge her, so not to have to listen to the same issue over again. " i'll stop throwing my wet towels on the bed, but i'm always in such a rush to get to work. i save lives for a living, yanno. " the last bit was said in an attempt to make her smile or chuckle. it was a chance he took, as the words may only make her explode more. " or the floor. " he suddenly rushed out. " i won't throw them on the floor either. "
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weaselle · 5 months ago
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i want to talk about real life villains
Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.
Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.
I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"
I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.
And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.
He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.
John Hammond.
probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.
If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.
Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.
book spoilers below.
In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.
He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.
In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.
THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.
I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.
In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.
I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.
Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.
And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.
I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.
Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.
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occasionalklance · 5 months ago
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i am having a weird day and gonna rant about it in the tags one more time before i go to bed!
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microwaving-tesilid-argente · 10 months ago
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#girl i have so many teshes thoughts its INSANE#me starting with haha actually this ship has no basis i just want to Put Tesilid Through It#but over the past few months of brainrotting their dynamic is now like.#what if we were doomed from the start and there was never anything either of us could do to save the other#(not even talking about the regression but rather the stigma bearer thing and how they have no social power)#(but also the regression thing)#what if we loved each other throughout all the lifetimes but there could never be a happy ending. tragedy dogs our footsteps#what if we were 'guy who has a good head on his shoulders and recognises our low social positions and looks out for his friends in similar#predicaments' x 'guy who is way too giving and this is bad bc the world is out to get him and he loves ppl too much to care about#the danger to himself'#what if we were 'guy who is way too giving' x 'guy who wants to protect him but Cant'#doomed ships.....#swings hestio around i like you SO much. i need to put you under a microscope and in a fish tank#(statements that should not ever be viewed by people outside of tumblr)#some of my fic outlines has notes that are like 'wow if they had the transmigrators privilege this wouldnt even have been a problem'#and im suddenly very appreciative of canon#god bless canon tesilid may you be happy. not my fanfic tesilid though im making him miserable#anyway. the more i think about it the more interesting hestio's internal conflict could be#it's about being so acutely aware of how shit their lives already are that he knows having a r/s that is frowned upon would just#make things worse#also i am very much hooked by the fact that like. nowadays i keep seeing ship posts about 'killing myself in front of you to change the#trajectory of your life forever'#for teshes its the opposite. hestio is desperately trying to make sure tesilid doesnt off himself#and also its not hestio dying that changes the trajectory of tesilid's life forever it's hestio confessing#and somehow this inflicts more pain on tesilid in the long run#which is extremely funny bc for all the notes that ive written abt teshes hestio has only confessed like umm. checks notes. 3 times#1. drunk (tesilid is not in the room) 2. the world is ending#like if hestio had managed to take this to the grave like he had originally planned then this could have been avoided#but the tragedy is that tesilid lives thru this multiple times so at least ONE time hestio's going to blab and that forever changes things#crying in fic writing being stupidly hard
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4whomittolz · 3 months ago
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Was drunk and bored and getting annoyed at the ridiculous coverage of the US election so I decided to fix the place.
I'm from Australia where we only have 7 states, as such I have the (objectively correct) opinion that 50 is too many states, so I decided to cut it down to 10.
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A few notes on my improved US map:
‱Despite Illinois making the cut, Chicago is now in Michigan, due to the state getting the entire bank of its namesake.
‱Boston is also in Michigan due to special exception.
‱New York is now the capital of Pensylvania
‱Yes that's how you spell Pensylvania
‱The border of California is just roughly the Rockies, no need to overthink it.
‱Making Florida bigger actually dilutes it's power, but Texas must be abolished
‱Colorado should still be a rectangle, that's my mistake, I just couldn't be bothered fixing it.
‱Alaska has been returned to Canada with a hand written apology
‱All the random ass islands that the US forgot to pretend they didn't colonise have gained independence
Please let me know if there are any more improvements you can think of.
Edit: As a number of you have mentioned, Alaska never belonged to Canada, and giving it to them would be incredibly wrong when the native people have been trying to gain independence all this time.
Luckily, the apology note got lost in the mail in all the turmoil, so Canada never realised they're meant to have Alaska now. The Alaskans just start quietly self-governing and hoping the US and Canada don't notice, then after a few years they declare independence.
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fionnaskyborn · 1 year ago
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and TODAY ON "Songs Fionna can't listen to without them fucking her up immensely and remind her why she doesn't listen to them very often every time she listens to them", we have:
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#logs#every time i'm like oh this song gets me in my feels i should listen to it and every time i end up hurting#something something proof of being alive yeah yeah but i really can't handle it#big shouts to trocadero for making songs that fuck me up every time i listen to them#i mean nothing comes close to contact in terms of how much a trocadero song fucks me up but you gotta admit‚ and i wonder where you are /#and i wonder what you wore / and i'm lost inside a bar / and i'm drunk inside a war / and i wonder where you are is also terrific#okay i'm gonna go cry about the tragedy of making a hyperspecific space opera that holds so much meaning and discusses so many things from#grief through moving on through learning how to live after having spent a significant portion of your life without any kind of autonomy#through reunions and learning how to talk with someone you haven't seen in nineteen years to‚ ultimately‚ having hope no matter what gets#thrown your way and that is ultimately about giving people happiness and closure but that loses a lot of its value by fitting into very#specific niches due to its nature as a work of fiction based on two works created by other people and having the centerpieces be not people#i have managed to come up with and whose stories i've written#but rather pre-existing persons that are mindchildren of a completely different individual#the worst part is that the story simply wouldn't work with different characters or using a different story as a basis. what i have created‚#what i WANT to create is‚ by all standards that count... perfect. the story /works/ /because/ of the characters involved. but the overlap#between the people who enjoy the story the characters are derived from AND the story that serves as the setting is so comically small that#it's all but impossible to find an audience to whom the story would mean as much as it means to me. and there are a few people out there‚#sure enough. but i am terrified to reach out because this is so personal to me. i'd love to share this story with people but spilling my#entrails out and having people turn away dissatisfied with what they see or saying it's ''not for them'' hurts me more than almost anything#else in this world. call me a coward‚ but my soul's aged too fast‚ and i'm tired‚ and i can't bear that risk.#one day‚ though... someone will listen.#black blank blah-blah-blah
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fxstpace · 5 days ago
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the accidental one-night stand
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summary: the consequences of sleeping with your best friend while drunk include waking up with no memory of how you ended up in his bed and the awkward realisation that your friendship is irreparably damaged. but avoiding it only works for so long—especially when feelings you’ve both been hiding begin to bubble to the surface.
⇱ pairing: jeon wonwoo x fem!reader ⇱ contains: fluff, angst, best friends to lovers au, college au, idiots to idiots in love, debatable attempts at comedy, implied sexual content, nudity, profanity, alcohol consumption, injuries & hospital visits ⇱ word count: 10.0k ⇱ note: this was written for the lonely hearts cafĂ© collab hosted by @camandemstudios! thank you so much for letting me be a part; please check out the other authors’ fics as well. i hope you enjoy :)
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There were many things that you expected would happen after you and your friends went out drinking to celebrate the end of the semester.
Waking up next to a naked Jeon Wonwoo was not one of them.
The first thing you notice is the sunlight. It filters through the cheap blinds, casting uneven slats of light across the room. The scent of stale beer and leftover pizza lingers faintly in the air. Normally, you would’ve groaned, turned over, and buried yourself in your blanket to fend off the cruel reminder that mornings exist. For a moment, you’re convinced you’re back in your own bed, with nothing more pressing than to decide whether you should get breakfast or sleep in till noon.
The second thing you notice is the peculiar warmth of someone pressed against you. A shoulder brushes your arm; a leg, bent at an awkward angle, leans uncomfortably into your thigh. When you squint, you see a pink piece of fabric hanging off one of the blades of the ceiling fan. That’s new.
Your eyes widen. When you turn your head, you are subject to the horrifying revelation that your best friend is lying in bed next to you—Jeon Wonwoo, sleeping on his stomach, bare back exposed to the world like it’s a perfectly normal occurrence in the three years you’ve known him.
You must be dreaming. But then you see his glasses, folded neatly on the nightstand and placed on top of your phone. Oh no.
“Oh no,” you say aloud, because, apparently, merely thinking it isn’t enough.
Wonwoo stirs at the sound, a soft groan escaping his lips. His head turns slightly on the pillow, and you freeze, praying to every deity you can think of that he doesn’t wake up. Unfortunately for you, whoever is in charge of karma seems to be in a particularly spiteful mood.
“Mm?” His voice is groggy, muffled by the pillow. His eyes flutter open. It takes him a second to focus on you. When he does, his brows furrow. “Why are you in my bed?”
Silence. You blink at him. He blinks at you.
What can you say? There is no eloquent explanation for waking up in your best friend’s bed—especially when he’s naked and you’re one hasty movement away from unraveling whatever fragile composure you’re clinging to.
“I, uh— I was hoping you could tell me that,” you croak out.
He shifts, the sheets slipping lower on his body, and you immediately avert your eyes. “Are we—” Wonwoo pauses, glancing down at himself, then back at you. His face flushes a deep pink. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” you whisper, pulling the sheets tighter around you. “Oh.”
“Are you
?” He starts, then clears his throat awkwardly. “You’re not
 y’know
”
“Naked?” you supply, struggling to maintain whatever shreds of dignity you have left. “No. Thank God. I think I’m, uh, wearing your shirt, actually. But my, um, bra is hanging off of your fan.”
If a pair of eyes happens to wander up there, neither of you acknowledges it.
There’s another long pause, filled only with the sound of your combined breathing and the hum of traffic outside. You can feel him staring at you; it takes all your willpower not to bury yourself into the mattress.
Wonwoo blinks at you again, his hair mussed and sticking out in every possible direction, a faint sleep line on his cheek from where the pillow was pressed into it. It would almost be endearing were you not teetering on the edge of an existential crisis.
“Do you remember anything?” He finally asks.
You consider lying, but what good would that do, anyway? You shake your head. “Um, not a lot. Do you?”
He hesitates, and somehow, it’s worse than an outright no. “I remember
 karaoke,” he says slowly. “And shots. A lot of shots.”
“Karaoke?” you repeat, horrified.
“Yeah.” Wonwoo looks faintly amused despite the whole situation. “You sang ABBA. Badly.”
“I always sing ABBA badly,” you mutter, pinching the bridge of your nose. “That doesn’t explain anything.”
“I don’t know either,” he says, sounding genuinely baffled, which is both a relief and a disappointment for reasons you refuse to examine. “Do you think—”
“What?” you prompt, though you already know the question.
Your best friend gestures vaguely between the both of you, the tips of his ears turning red. “Do you think we—?”
“Oh, my God, don’t say it,” you hiss, feeling your own face heat up.
“Well, something happened! You’re in my bed, and I’m—”
“Naked,” you finish for him, grimacing.
Wonwoo clears his throat again, suddenly very interested in the ceiling—though he pointedly avoids staring at the fan above your heads. “Yes. That.”
“Maybe we should just
 not talk about it.” Your voice sounds weak to your own ears. You pick at your cuticles underneath the covers.
Wonwoo snorts. You stare at him.
“What?” you demand.
“You think we can just pretend?” The smile tugging on his lips is humourless. “Yeah, okay, good luck with that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Soonyoung was there last night,” he says grimly.
Your stomach drops.
“Oh no,” you say again, because there’s really nothing else to say.
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You thought you were successful in avoiding Jeon Wonwoo and Kwon Soonyoung. You were not, and this must be the universe’s idea of a cosmic joke, because you’re currently crouched behind a dumpster while your two best friends are having a frantic, hushed conversation a few feet away from you.
The smell is an assault on every sense you possess—a vile concoction of rotting leftovers, moldy cardboard, and something acidic you can’t begin to identify. You shift uncomfortably, regretting everything that possessed you to follow Wonwoo and Soonyoung to this cold, putrid place. Your sneakers sink into what you pray is just old soda.
“...I didn’t tell her because she looked so freaked out,” Wonwoo says, voice tight. He doesn’t sound angry, exactly—more like he’s restraining his frustration, the kind of tone that demands silence from anyone with half a brain.
Except Soonyoung doesn’t have half a brain. “You didn’t mention to her that you remember everything? That’s
 kind of a big deal.”
“Of course I remember,” your best friend mutters. “I was drunk, yes, and extremely stupid, but it’s her. I remember everything about her.”
You instinctively press a hand to your mouth, breath catching in your throat. He remembers? All this time, you’d convinced yourself that the foggy gaps in your memory extended to him too—that’s what he’d said, hadn’t he? You were convinced that the awkward morning after was borne out of shared ignorance. Evidently not.
Soonyoung snickers. “You? Stupid? Sure, and I’m fucking Albert Einstein.”
“Can you be serious for once? It isn’t funny.”
“It’s a little funny.” You can practically hear Soonyoung’s grin, though his face remains elusive. “I mean, come on. You’re usually so—I don’t know—emotionless and now look at you. This is gold.”
You want to throttle him. You’re pretty sure Wonwoo wants to throttle him, too. He settles for a long, exasperated sigh instead. “I’m not emotionless. I’m just
 worried.”
“Worried?” Soonyoung echoes, curious. “About what?”
“About her.” Wonwoo’s voice softens; the change is so startling that you lean forward without thinking, the damp ground squelching underneath you. “She looked so freaked out, Soonyoung. Like she couldn’t get out of my bedroom fast enough. How was I supposed to bring it up?”
You should leave. You need to leave, but your legs stay rooted in place, a strange combination of morbid curiosity and pure panic keeping you locked in place. 
“Fair enough,” your other friend acquiesces. “She was kind of a mess when I saw her that morning.”
“Exactly. So I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want to make things worse.”
“But now you’re making it worse by not saying anything,” Soonyoung points out. “Come on, Wonwoo. You’ve liked her for years. You finally get her alone and you don’t even—”
“Don’t,” Wonwoo cuts him off, the word laced with quiet steel. “I didn’t plan for any of that to happen. You think I wanted to wake up next to her and realise it was all just
 an accident to her?”
Your stomach twists painfully. There’s no way this is real. There’s absolutely no way you’re hearing this conversation right now.
“I left ‘cause I thought you would finally grow a pair of balls and confess,” Soonyoung says defensively.
Wonwoo scoffs. “Congratulations. Now it’s a fucking disaster.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” his companion chides gently. “She’s your best friend. She’ll understand if you talk to her.”
“She doesn’t feel the same,” Wonwoo says, so quietly that you nearly miss it.
Your heart nearly leaps out of your throat.
“You don’t know that,” counters Soonyoung.
“I do.” The resignation in Wonwoo’s voice carves something hollow in your chest. “She wouldn’t have been so freaked out if she did. That night—it wouldn’t have been an accident to her.”
Is this how Wonwoo saw it? Is this how you made him feel? The words linger in the air, heavy and unforgiving, until they slip through the gaps in your rib cage and squeeze your heart tightly.
“...I think you’re wrong,” Soonyoung says slowly. “You should give her more credit than that.”
Wonwoo doesn’t respond immediately. You hear the sounds of footsteps shuffling on gravel and hold your breath, waiting for their voices to fade before daring to move. Your muscles scream in protest when you stand up. Your legs wobble, and you don’t move the hand clamped over your nose and mouth. 
Wonwoo remembers. He likes you. He thinks you don’t feel the same. Standing in the shadow of a dumpster and reeking of garbage and despair, you’re faced with one inescapable truth: You have no idea what to do next. 
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The coffee shop is too bright, but it’s the only place where the owner gives out a free chocolate chip cookie with every purchase. You nibble at the cookie, brushing away the crumbs that fall onto your lap. Your cup of coffee is untouched, steam curling out of it in lazy spirals. Xu Minghao sits opposite you, occasionally stirring his tea. The spoon clinks against the ceramic; it’s a little bit annoying, but you can’t tell him that when he’s almost certainly called you over to interrogate you.
You can’t remember why you agreed to meet Minghao. You can barely remember how you even got here, your legs on autopilot while your brain went through a series of catastrophes all involving Jeon Wonwoo. Minghao’s eyes bore into you, quietly observing. He doesn’t say anything, but he always seems to be one step ahead of you—always knows things before you’re ready to admit them, which is why you’ve been avoiding him, as well. 
Yet here you are, because Minghao’s persistence is a force of nature. Finally, you break. “What?”
“You tell me.” Minghao’s reply is immediate. He leans back in his chair and crosses one leg over the other with the sort of poise that makes you feel like a feral raccoon in comparison. “You’ve been acting weird all week.”
“You’ll have to be more specific.”
He merely narrows his eyes at you.
“Okay, fine.” You sigh and lean back, dropping your half-eaten cookie next to your coffee. “What do you think is so weird?”
“The fact that you’ve been avoiding everyone like the plague. The fact that your good mood about our finals ending lasted for, like, thirty seconds. The fact that you look like you’ve seen a ghost whenever someone mentions Wonwoo.”
You wince. “I don’t look like that.”
“You do,” he says.
“I don’t. I’m just tired.”
“Sure,” Minghao drawls, “and I’m the Pope.”
You glare at him, but he merely smiles at you, like he’s sitting on a cloud of smug superiority and you’re some lowlife staring up at him. He continues, “Do you want to tell me why I had to hear about your night with Wonwoo through six degrees of separation?”
“What— Huh? What are you talking about?” you flounder helplessly.
“Wonwoo told Soonyoung,” he explains without missing a beat, “who told his roommate Jihoon, who told his girlfriend Sana, who told her best friend Miyeon, who told her roommate Jihyo, who told her boyfriend Seokmin—who just so happens to be my roommate, as you’re aware. And now I know.”
You stare at him, utterly aghast. “What a small fucking world.”
“It is,” Minghao agrees, nodding sagely. “Don’t worry too much about it. They all mean well.”
You pick up your cookie and shove the whole thing into your mouth, before burying your face in your hands. “Kill me. Just do it. Right here. Please end my misery.”
“I’d consider it,” he says, “but then I wouldn’t get to hear your side of the story.”
“There is no story,” you say, voice muffled by your palms.
“Interesting,” your friend muses. “But according to all six of my sources, there’s quite a story. Something about you waking up next to Wonwoo? Naked?”
You peek at him through your fingers. “Are you enjoying this?”
“Immensely.”
Groaning, you drop your hands onto the table. “It’s not what it sounds like.”
“Enlighten me.” Minghao’s smile widens in the way it does whenever he’s truly intrigued by something.
You resign yourself to the sad fate of telling your friend about what happened that fateful night. “We went out to celebrate the end of the semester. There was drinking. A lot of drinking—” you hesitate, voice catching in your throat— “and then I woke up next to him.”
“Naked,” Minghao supplies.
“I was wearing a shirt!” you say a little too loudly. A few heads turn in your direction, and you lower your voice, cheeks burning. “Okay, yes, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Or anything else. But nothing happened!”
“Mm.” His noncommittal hum feels worse than outright disbelief.
“I mean it,” you insist. “We talked about it. Sort of. And he said he didn’t remember anything, so—”
You swallow, remembering the conversation you weren’t supposed to hear. It sits in the depths of your stomach, hot and heavy and gnarly. You don’t want to bring it up. You really don’t.
Minghao arches a brow. “Did he?”
“Did he what?”
“Not remember anything.”
You swallow again, the aftertaste of your freebie dessert turning from sweet to bitter. “Why would he lie?”
“Why does anyone lie?” Minghao shrugs. “To spare someone’s feelings. To avoid awkward conversations. To hide the fact that they’ve been hopelessly in love with their best friend for years.”
“That’s not true,” you say, far too quickly. “That’s not
 It can’t be true. If he’s liked me for years then—then remember when he had a girlfriend in our freshman year? He really liked her.”
You would know. You’d been there when he broke up with her, when you had to haul him to the nearest soju tent and let him get batshit drunk while you sipped on water and tried not to let your heart crack. Wonwoo had been heartbroken about it—enough for you to think that he’d loved her, and if his heart could have so much love bursting out of its seams, then what would it be like if you were given even a fraction of it? You’d squashed the thought immediately afterwards; he was here crying about his ex-girlfriend and you were a truly selfish person if you wanted to acknowledge your crush on him.
Minghao’s sharp gaze turns sympathetic. “I remember. But did you ever ask him about why they broke up?”
“No, I—I didn’t,” you admit. “He was crying his lungs out the day they broke up. I wasn’t gonna be insensitive. We never spoke about it afterwards.”
“So that’s why you think he can’t have feelings for you?”
“He’s Wonwoo. He’s not
 He can’t— He isn’t—” Your words crumble under Minghao’s knowing smile.
“He is,” Minghao says, quiet but certain. “You’re just too busy panicking.”
“I am not panicking,” you say, panicking.
“Right,” your friend says drily, “and this is you at your most composed. Are you going to talk to him?”
“No,” you say immediately.
Minghao blinks, finally taking a sip of his nearly-cooled tea. “No?”
“No,” you repeat, crossing your arms. “I’m going to avoid him until graduation and then pretend this never happened.”
“That’s a terrible plan,” he deadpans. “It’s a great plan,” you counter. “Completely foolproof.”
“It’s cowardly.”
“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.”
Minghao rolls his eyes, not unkindly. “Just drink your damn coffee. I’m paying for it.”
“Thank you, Minghao.” You smile gratefully at him. “I knew you would understand.”
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Xu Minghao clearly did not understand.
It starts with him, obviously, because who else would take your very serious declaration to avoid Wonwoo until graduation and turn it into prime gossip material? By the time it reaches you again, it’s mutated beyond recognition. Sana texts you, asking if you’re okay because she heard you and Wonwoo had a “tragic lover’s quarrel.”
You stare at her message, then at your coffee, briefly debating the merits of deleting every single app on your phone. Then you sigh, and type back who told you that? and steel yourself for whatever reply you’re going to get. Her response is almost instant: Soonyoung said Minghao said you’re avoiding Wonwoo for dramatic reasons?? idk, call me.
You do not call her.
Instead, you stew in mild indignation until she finally ropes you into Taco Bell plans for the afternoon, promising that the food is on her. But the second you walk in, you know it’s a trap. Sana’s sitting by the window, her expression brighter than the fluorescent lights. She waves you over. You feel like you’re walking into a very elaborate sting operation.
“Hey!” she greets you, grinning. “Come sit! I already ordered drinks for us.”
“What’s gotten you so happy?” you ask warily, already exhausted.
“Nothing,” she says cheerfully. “I’m just so glad to see you.”
“Hm.” You eye her suspiciously. “And you picked Taco Bell because
?”
“Because it’s delicious, affordable, and deeply underrated,” she says in one breath. You want to scoff—everything she just spouted out about Taco Bell is false—but she continues, “Also, Jihoon’s coming. He said he was starving, and I thought, why not make it a group thing?”
“Right. Because I love being the third wheel.”
“Can’t you let me admit that I enjoy your company for once?”
Your response is immediate. “No.”
Sana’s face brightens when she glances behind you at the door. Jihoon walks in—but he’s not alone.
Jeon Wonwoo is with him.
You feel your stomach flip in that terrible, rollercoaster-drops-out-from-under-you way. Jihoon, for his part, looks completely unbothered as he scans the restaurant, but when you glance at Sana, you find her trying and failing to hide her triumphant smirk.
“Oh, my gosh,” she says in the fakest tone of surprise you’ve ever heard. “Wonwoo! What are you doing here?”
You glare at her, and she has the audacity to look innocent. Wonwoo, meanwhile, approaches the table with slow, deliberate steps; his hands are stuffed in his jacket pockets and his mouth is set in a thin line.
“Hi,” he says, glancing at you briefly before looking anywhere else.
“Hi,” you echo, willing your voice to stay normal. Jihoon takes the seat across from you, shoving Wonwoo into the booth next to you. The space feels smaller than it is, like Wonwoo’s presence is some sort of gravitational force you can’t ignore.
“What’s everyone in the mood for?” Jihoon asks, leaning back in his seat like a bizarre talk show host.
“Tacos,” you say immediately. “And to leave.”
Jihoon ignores the last part, turning to face his girlfriend. “Want to help me order for everyone?”
“Absolutely.” Sana is already standing, grabbing Jihoon’s hand. “We’ll be back in a sec.”
“Wait—” You try not to sound desperate. “Why can’t we all just go and order together?”
“No need! We know what you guys like.”
With that, they disappear, leaving you alone with Jeon Wonwoo.
The silence is instant and crushing. Your fingers pick at the edge of a napkin like it’s some kind of lifeline, the paper shredding under your nails. Next to you, Wonwoo shifts slightly, the sound of his jacket brushing against the booth unnervingly loud.
“You don’t have to—” he starts, then stops. “The napkin. You don’t have to do that.”
“I’m not doing anything,” you reply automatically, still shredding the paper to bits.
He sighs. “You’re going to tear it apart.”
Your hands still for a moment, then resume. “If Taco Bell runs out of napkins, I’ll buy them new ones,” you say, only a little sarcastic.
Wonwoo doesn’t say anything to that, but out of the corner of your eye, you see him shift again, squaring his shoulders. Something in your chest tightens, wound up like a spring.
“This is weird, isn’t it?” he says finally.
You laugh, short and humourless. “What gave it away?”
He doesn’t reply. You glance at him, but he’s staring down at the table, fingers tapping idly on the edge. You take a deep breath, gaze dropping back down to your hands. “It doesn’t have to be weird,” you offer tentatively—though it sounds unconvincing even as you say it.
“I agree. But you’re kind of making it weird.”
Your head snaps up. “...Me?”
“Yeah,” he says, looking at you now. “You’ve been avoiding me for, what, days? That’s not exactly normal behaviour.”
“...I wasn’t avoiding you.” Heat crawls up your neck.
Wonwoo raises an eyebrow.
“Okay, fine. I was avoiding you,” you admit, voice dropping into a mutter. “But I, um, had a good reason for it.”
“Yeah?” he asks, leaning forward slightly. “What was it?”
You stare at him, throat tightening. How are you supposed to put it into words? That you’ve been avoiding him because every time you see him, your brain replays that morning and his conversation with Soonyoung in painstaking detail, and it makes your stomach twist in ways you don’t understand? That you don’t know how to act around him anymore, and it’s easier to run than to face him?
“I don’t know,” you say slowly, shrugging. It’s a lie, and it feels thin and flimsy, but you can’t manage anything else. “It just felt
 easier.”
Wonwoo’s expression doesn’t change, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes—disappointment? Understanding? You can’t tell.
“Easier,” he repeats, like he’s testing the word. “Do you think it’s easier now?”
“Not really,” you admit quietly.
“Exactly.” He leans back again, running a tired hand through his hair. “Look, I get it. That night was—it was a lot. But I don’t want to lose our friendship because of it.”
There’s a lump in your throat now. You swallow hard, trying to push it down. You want to tell him that it’s not that simple, that every time you think about him, you feel like you’re standing on a cliff’s edge, terrified of falling. But the words stick to your tongue, and all you can manage is a small, “I don’t want that either.”
Wonwoo nods. “Okay. Good. That’s—that’s good.”
You don’t respond right away. Instead, you focus on the napkin in your hands—or what’s left of it, at least. Your thoughts spiral. You think about the way he looked at you that morning, the way his voice softened when he said your name, the way he resigned himself to the fact that you wouldn’t like him back. The way everything feels like you’re teetering on the edge of something permanent and irreversible.
Now, sitting here with him, you wonder if you’re still on that edge—or if you’ve already fallen.
“I just—” Your voice cracks slightly; you clear your throat. “I don’t know how to go back to being normal with you.”
Wonwoo doesn’t hesitate. “That’s okay. I don’t know, either. We can work it out.”
It’s such a simple thing to say, but it cuts through the static in your head. You look at him, really look at him, and for the first time, you see not just the calm front he’s putting up, but the uncertainty that bleeds through—the way his fingers fidget against the table, the way his gaze flickers briefly before meeting yours again.
You exhale slowly. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah.” You nod, more to yourself than him. “Okay.”
His lips twitch into the faintest smile, until it is immediately obliterated by Sana’s shriek as the four Baja Blasts she was balancing in her arms plummet to the floor in a tragic display of carbonation and crushed dreams. 
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The walk back from Taco Bell is stiffer than it needs to be. Wonwoo had offered to walk you home—mostly because both of you weren’t keen on intruding between Jihoon and Sana—but you’re acutely aware of the distance between you and Wonwoo, an awkward, invisible chasm neither of you seems eager to cross. You fiddle with the crumpled receipt in your pocket, sneaking glances at him every few steps. Each time, you catch him doing the same, though you don’t acknowledge it.
You didn’t think your awkwardness with Wonwoo would fade away immediately, though you have to give him credit for trying. It still clings to the space between you like stubborn static. Even the distant hum of traffic and the occasional rustling of leaves doesn’t drown it out.
“My cousin is graduating high school the day after tomorrow,” he says finally, breaking the long stretch of silence between you both.
“No way,” you reply, kicking a loose pebble on the ground. You watch it skitter away from you, and say, “They grow up so fast.”
“Yeah. It’s insane. I’m going back to Changwon tonight.”
“Really? I bet your aunt will be happy to see you.”
He smiles. “She’s going to screw me for not eating enough homemade food,” he says, and for a moment, it feels normal—but silence falls again, heavy and stilted.
It isn’t until you hear a soft, high-pitched cry that the spell finally breaks.
At first, you think you imagined it, a stray sound swallowed up by the evening breeze. But when you hear it again, clearer this time, you stop dead in your tracks, your head swiveling towards the source.
“Did you hear that?” you ask.
Wonwoo comes to a halt beside you. “Hear what?”
“That!” you exclaim as the sound repeats, urgent and mournful. You point towards the trees lining the edge of the parking lot. “There’s something over there.”
He squints. “Probably just a bird or something.”
“That’s not a bird,” you insist, already veering off the footpath. “It’s a kitten.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah,” you say, craning your neck to locate the source of the sound. Sure enough, a tiny ball of fur is clinging to a branch halfway up one of the trees, its pitiful cries echoing through the still evening air. “It’s stuck.”
“It’s a cat,” Wonwoo says flatly.
“It’s a baby. Wonwoo, it’s going to fall!”
“It’s not going to fall. It’s a cat.”
“Look at it!” you counter, gesturing wildly. “It’s hanging on for dear life. Do you want that on your conscience?”
He stares at the kitten, then back at you, shoulders sinking with impending responsibility. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“Not a chance,” you say, folding your arms.
“Fine,” he mutters, shrugging off his jacket. “Only ‘cause you asked.”
Wonwoo reaches for the lowest branch, testing its sturdiness before hoisting himself up. His movements are deliberate, cautious, and yet somehow still awkward—like someone who’s watched enough action movies to think he knows what he’s doing but has never actually climbed a tree in his life.
“Careful,” you call out, wincing as the branch creaks under his weight.
“Really? That’s the advice you’re giving me right now?”
“I could’ve said, don’t fall,” you point out.
The kitten, meanwhile, is less than thrilled about the rescue operation. It hisses and fluffs up its fur as Wonwoo inches closer, its tiny claws digging into the bark.
“You’ve got this,” you say.
“Oh, do I?” He grunts. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
With a final, determined stretch, he manages to grab the kitten by the scruff of its neck, holding it up triumphantly. It lets out one last indignant yowl before going limp in his grip, big, yellow eyes blinking up at him.
“Got it,” he says, holding it up like a trophy.
“You’re a hero,” you deadpan.
But before he can descend, the branch beneath him gives a menacing crack.
“Wonwoo—”
The sound is followed by a split-second of stillness, and then gravity takes over.
Wonwoo plummets to the ground with a thud. The kitten, miraculously unscathed, wriggles free from his grip and bolts towards the bushes, leaving the two of you in stunned silence.
“Oh, my God,” you gasp, rushing to his side. “Are you okay?”
He groans, propping himself up on his elbows. His glasses are somewhere on the ground next to him; you fumble for them and hand them to him. He puts them on and says, “No. I’m not okay.”
“You fell out of a tree,” you say, as though he might need reminding.
“Yeah, I noticed.” His voice is tight, laced with pain. When he tries to stand, he immediately winces, clutching his ankle.
“Don’t move,” you say, panic creeping into your tone. “You could’ve broken something.”
“It’s just a sprain,” Wonwoo mutters, though his face says otherwise.
“How do you know?”
“Because I can still feel my foot,” he replies, like that’s the definitive test for a sprain versus a fracture.
You hover uncertainly, hands flitting uselessly between him and his phone. “I’m calling for help.”
“It’s fine—”
“No, it’s not fine,” you snap, voice shaking. “You’re injured, and it’s my fault because I made you climb that stupid tree for that stupid kitten—”
Wonwoo interrupts by saying your name softly. “It’s not your fault. I could’ve said no.”
“But you didn’t,” you mutter, blinking back the ridiculous sting of tears.
He huffs a weak laugh, leaning back against the tree trunk. “Yeah, well. You’re really persuasive.”
“Just don’t—don’t move, okay?”
“Okay. I won’t. You
 You will come with me to the hospital, right?” He is quieter now, as though the adrenaline is finally wearing off.
“Of course,” you say immediately.
When you drop down onto the ground next to him, waiting for Sana—who you’d called earlier—to come drive you both to the hospital, you catch a glimpse of the kitten peeking out from the bushes, its wide eyes reflecting the streetlights. You shake your head. “Ungrateful little thing.”
“Worth it,” Wonwoo says, surprising you.
“What?”
He shrugs. “It was worth it. You were worried about it.”
Oh. You don’t really know how to respond to that, but the words are sweet as honey, and despite the chill brought about by the setting sun and the rising moon, you feel warm throughout.
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The fluorescent lights of the hospital flicker faintly while you wait for Wonwoo to finish his discharge paperwork. You stand a few feet apart in the waiting area, unsure of what to say. Arms crossed tightly over your chest, you rock back on your heels. Wonwoo leans on his crutches, shoulders hunched.
“I, uh, brought my car while Sana and Jihoon were with you,” you say, not daring to meet his eyes. 
“You’re driving me to Changwon?” he asks, sounding more resigned than questioning. “You don’t have to.”
You lick your lips. Half the reason Jeon Wonwoo climbed up a tree and sprained his ankle badly is because you asked him to. The least you can do is drive him back to his hometown so he can attend his little cousin’s graduation ceremony.
“Yes,” you reply, a little too quickly. His eyebrows twitch upward, but he doesn’t say anything. You shift from one foot to the other under his gaze, feeling self-conscious. “What, you think women are bad drivers?”
He huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “I don’t think women are bad drivers. I think you’re a—” He pauses. “Wait, that’s a trick question. You’re going to kick my ass regardless.”
“Exactly. So you can just get comfortable in the passenger seat and think about the systemic oppression of women in the workforce while I drive.”
The lightheartedness helps, but only marginally. When his name is called, Wonwoo limps toward the discharge counter, his crutches squeaking against the polished tile floor. You follow, stuffing your hands into your jacket pockets because you don’t know what to do with them. The nurse hands him a clipboard, and he scrawls his signature on the dotted line. 
You glance at his profile—the curve of his mouth, the faint shadow of stubble on his jaw, the way his glasses are perched on the bridge of his nose. It’s all so familiar, and you hate the fact that you feel like a stranger standing next to him. You know he likes you, and it’s eating you up inside, gnawing at your brain, because telling him you like him, too, would ruin everything.
Not that everything isn’t already hanging by a thread, but what if something happens that makes it impossible to fix? What if you break up, and the friendship you’ve been clinging to falls apart completely? What if everything changes even more than it already has, and you can’t stop it? What if you lose one of the most important people in your life, and no matter what you do, you can’t find your way back to him? What if, what if, what if—it’s a thought that echoes endlessly.
“You don’t have to look so worried,” Wonwoo says without looking up, startling you out of your thoughts. 
“I’m not worried,” you lie, chin jutting out defensively.
He glances at you, then. “You look worried.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“Noted.” He hands the clipboard back to the nurse.
By the time you’re both outside in the parking lot, you’re back to being awkwardly polite, dancing around each other with all the grace of a baby giraffe. You watch as Wonwoo fumbles with his crutches, maneuvering them clumsily toward your car.
“I can carry those,” you offer, holding out a hand.
“I’ve got it.”
“Oh. Um. Okay.”
He doesn’t say anything after, but his jaw tightens as he leans into the passenger seat. It takes some effort—his crutches clatter against the doorframe, and he winces, trying to angle his injured foot without bumping it. You pretend not to notice his struggle, letting him preserve what little dignity he has left.
Sliding into the driver’s seat, you adjust the mirrors, stalling for time. Wonwoo doesn’t try to break the silence festering in between you both. The only sounds are the click of your seatbelt, and the soft hum of the engine.
The first few kilometres pass like this—with a quietness so thick, it’s suffocating. You grip the steering wheel a little too tightly, focusing on the road ahead as though it holds the answers to all your questions.
“So,” you begin after a while, when it becomes too uncomfortable to not speak, “your cousin’s graduation. Big family gathering?”
“Something like that,” Wonwoo says. “Everyone’s making a big deal out of it. She’s the youngest, so
”
“That’s nice.” You glance at him briefly, his face half-hidden in the shadows. “It’s good to celebrate milestones.”
He snorts. “Spoken like someone who’s never had to sit through hours of small talk about what you’re doing with your life.”
“Oh, I’ve been there. My relatives love to remind me of all the ways I’ve failed to meet their expectations.”
“And here I thought you were the golden child.”
You laugh dryly. “As if. My aunt still brings up the time I failed my learner’s permit test. Twice.”
“Twice?” he repeats, raising his eyebrows. “And you wonder why I think you suck at driving.”
“It was hard,” you defend, though your cheeks flush with heat.
The corners of his mouth lifts, the closest thing to a smile you’ve seen from him lately. It’s fleeting, but it stays with you, lingering between you both.
Conversation ebbs and flows after that, accompanied by long stretches of quiet. You focus on the road, stealing the occasional inconspicuous—or so you hope—glance at Wonwoo. At some point, his head leans back against the headrest and his eyes flutter shut. 
It doesn’t take long for his breathing to even out, his features softening in his sleep. You glance at him more openly now, heart tugging at the sight. He looks younger like this. The lines of tension on his face have disappeared, leaving only the quiet rise and fall of his chest. His glasses slip down the bridge of his nose, and you resist the urge to push them back up.
You grip the steering wheel tighter, an unexplainable warmth blooming in your chest. It’s ridiculous, really, how easily he manages to disarm you without even trying. 
But it’s not the first time you’ve seen him like this. The memory sneaks in, unbidden—the morning you woke up beside him, the sunlight filtering through the blinds, casting golden streaks across his skin; his hair mussed against the pillow; his face so close to yours. The disorientation, the rush of emotions you couldn’t name, the way your heart stuttered because of his proximity.
The warmth in your chest turns cold. You inhale shakily, tearing your eyes away from him.
Wonwoo stirs slightly, his head turning a fraction towards you. You glance at him again, your resolve faltering for a split second. You wonder if he would laugh if he knew what sort of thoughts are running through your head right now, or if he’d give you one of those infuriatingly expressionless looks of his—the kind that makes you want to simultaneously punch and hug him.
When Google Maps announces the next turn, you straighten in your seat, forcing yourself to focus. The road stretches ahead, long and winding, illuminated only by the yellow glow of your headlights and the streetlights on the sides.
It’s a long drive, you remind yourself. Plenty of time to figure out what you’re doing. Or avoid it entirely.
For now, you simply drive.
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The moment you step foot into Wonwoo’s aunt’s house, a wave of warmth welcomes you—the aroma of something sweet baking in the kitchen, faint perfume, and the hum of cheerful conversation. Wonwoo limps slightly beside you, leaning more heavily on his crutches than he probably wants to admit, holding his duffel bag with his other arm.
You glance at him, frowning. “Are you sure you’re okay to walk around like this?”
“I’m fine,” he replies. You eye the faint wobble in his step but let it go for now.
Before you can dwell on it further, his aunt sweeps into view, her face lighting up like fireworks. Her hair, pinned back with a colourful bandana, curls in ringlets around her heart-shaped face. “Wonwoo!” she exclaims, hurrying over. Her gaze quickly shifts to you, and she clasps her hands together. “Oh, and who’s this?”
“This is—” Wonwoo begins, but his aunt isn’t waiting for an introduction.
“Oh, what a lovely young lady!” she gushes, stepping closer to you. “Are you two
?”
“No,” you blurt out, shaking your head vehemently. The tips of your ears burn as the word tumbles out of your lips. “We’re just friends.”
Wonwoo’s aunt looks mildly disappointed for a second before her smile reappears with renewed vigour. “Ah, well, it’s a shame,” she says. “You two would make such a beautiful couple.”
“Really, we’re just friends,” you repeat, your voice a little bit higher this time, as though saying it twice will make it truer.
Wonwoo shifts uncomfortably next to you, adjusting the crutch under his arm. His lips part like he’s about to add something, but he closes them again, opting for silence instead.
His aunt seems unconvinced, but thankfully doesn’t press further, instead ushering you both further inside. “Come in, come in! Everyone’s been waiting to see you, Wonwoo. And don’t worry, sweetheart,” she says to you with a pat on your arm, “you’ll fit right in.”
“Oh, actually, I—I think I should head back,” you say, lifting up your thumb and jerking it backwards.
“Don’t be silly,” Wonwoo says, unexpectedly. “It’s dark. You can’t drive back alone.”
“I—”
“He’s right, dear,” his aunt adds. “Stay for the weekend. I have a spare bedroom you can sleep in.”
You try to backtrack, shaking your head. “I didn’t— I don’t have any clothes, or toiletries. I didn’t pack anything.”
“That’s quite alright,” his aunt says. “We have extra toothbrushes, and I’m certain I have clothes that could fit you. Consider it a little vacation, if you will.”
You open your mouth to protest, but Wonwoo nudges your shoulder with his and gives you a pointed glare. Pressing your lips together, you—still a little unwilling—follow her into the living room. The sound of Wonwoo’s crutches tapping against the hardwood floor draws attention. A dozen pairs of eyes swivel towards you, curious but welcoming.
“Wonwoo’s here!” someone exclaims. His cousin bounds over to greet him, carefully navigating his crutches.
“Holy shit, what happened to you?” she asks, eyes wide.
“Language,” he chides, offering her a smile nonetheless. “And it’s just a sprain.”
But her attention quickly flicks to you. “And who’s this?”
Before you can answer, another voice cuts in. “Is this his girlfriend?”
You freeze. Wonwoo sighs.
“No,” you manage to say, laughing nervously. “I’m just a friend.”
Wonwoo nods in agreement, but it's too late. The murmurs have already begun.
“Really?” another middle-aged lady—another aunt, you suppose—asks, eyebrows raised. “Just friends? You two look so comfortable together.”
Hah. As if. You’ve spent the last few weeks avoiding Wonwoo so rigorously that your friends had to shove you both together into a Taco Bell booth for you to start talking to him again. Comfortable, your ass. Of course, you can’t say that aloud, so you turn to Wonwoo, silently pleading for him to step in, but he seems more focused on shifting his weight into his good leg. His family’s scrutiny, it seems, doesn’t faze him nearly as much as his sprained ankle does—which is understandable, to be fair. Just not for you at the moment.
“Seriously, we’re not—”
“But why not?” his cousin pipes up. “He’s handsome. You’re pretty—it’s like fate.”
Heat rises to your cheeks again, and you resist the urge to crawl into the nearest decorative vase and never come out. Wonwoo finally takes pity on you, clearing his throat.
“Can we all calm down? She’s here because I needed a ride,” he says measuredly.
“Sure,” his uncle mutters, and it’s followed by a smattering of chuckles.
“Alright, alright,” his aunt finally interjects. “Let the kids sit down before you lot grill them to death.”
Reluctantly, everyone’s attention shifts to the basketball match playing on the television. Wonwoo hobbles toward the nearest loveseat, and you instinctively reach out to steady him when he wobbles a little. He doesn’t say thank you, but the way he lets your hand linger on his arm feels like silent acknowledgement.
“You’re not going to make me carry you if this gets worse, are you?” you murmur, settling into the seat next to him, careful not to jostle his injured leg.
“Not unless you want to,” he deadpans.
You roll your eyes—but the moment your knees accidentally bump, the room feels a touch too small, too warm.
Conversations begin again, and occasionally, someone makes another comment about how “nice” you two look together, and you muster up a strained smile each time. Wonwoo, meanwhile, remains utterly unfazed, answering questions about college and his injury like he isn’t the centre of his family’s romantic speculation.
“Your family is
 nice,” you whisper, when the room quietens finally.
“They’re just excited to see someone new,” he says.
“Excited to marry you off, you mean.”
He hums. “Maybe.”
His aunt hands out warm plates of brownies topped with ice cream, and you gratefully dig in. You’re mid-chew when his uncle asks, “How did you two meet?”
You groan inwardly, resting your spoon on your plate and barely restraining yourself from banging your head on the coffee table. Wonwoo’s lips twitch like he’s trying not to laugh. He shrugs and says, “We met through a mutual friend. Simple enough.”
“Very simple,” you echo, nodding your head prudently, hoping to end the conversation there.
“But was it love at first sight?”
Wonwoo tilts his head slightly, as though he’s genuinely considering the question. You elbow him hard, ignoring his startled oof. “No,” you answer quickly. “We didn’t even like each other at first.”
“Didn’t we?” Wonwoo asks, lips curving upwards.
“No,” you say firmly. “You were too quiet, and I didn’t know how to talk to you.”
“Maybe you just weren’t trying hard enough,” he quips.
You gape at him. “That’s—”
“Adorable!” someone cuts in, and everyone—except you—bursts into laughter.
You bury your face in your hands, utterly defeated. Wonwoo, on the other hand, seems entirely too pleased with himself, his soft laugh barely audible over everyone else’s.
You glance at him once again, dropping your hands and letting them rest on your lap. He’s resting back in his seat, his injured leg stretched out in front of him. The tiniest furrow creases his brow, a sign he’s not as comfortable as he’d like everyone to believe.
“You should’ve stayed off your feet,” you say softly, leaning closer.
“And miss all this fun?” he says, smiling softly. He’s quieter, now, seemingly tired of all the socialising, but he watches his relatives bicker over something stupid with fondness.
You shake your head, biting back your own smile.
It’s only later, as everyone disperses to their rooms, that silence befalls upon you both yet again—though not quite as awkward as before. Standing outside the guest room, you turn around to face Wonwoo, who leans heavily on his crutch now, fatigue evident in his every movement.
“You okay?” you ask.
He nods, face impassive. “You?”
“Ask me again tomorrow.”
His lips quirk upwards for the smallest of moments before he nods towards his door. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” you say, slipping into your room and closing the door behind you.
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Sleep, that night, is a stubbornly elusive thing. You toss and turn, unable to close your eyes for more than a few minutes. Each time your mind refuses to quiet, you assign a new reason for your restlessness—the bed is too firm, the covers are unnaturally warm, the pillow is too lumpy. But you know, deep down, that the true culprit lies just down the hallway.
Jeon Wonwoo.
The thought of him—his silent steadiness, the way his mouth twitches up slightly when he finds something amusing, the fact that you’re in the same house as him—makes your pulse flutter in ways that you’re sure aren’t good for your heart.
You sigh, staring up at the ceiling. The faint creak of a floorboard breaks the stillness, and your heart jumps before logic catches up. It’s an old house; it makes noises. Then, there’s another creak, a softer one, like when someone is careful and doesn’t want to disturb anyone else.
Curiosity—and the undeniable urge to see him—wins over your hesitation. You slide out of bed, the floor cool against your bare feet, and pad to the door. When you open it, you nearly collide with Wonwoo in the dimly-lit hallway.
“Oh,” you whisper, pretending to be startled. “What are you doing here?”
Wonwoo shifts his weight to his better foot, leaning against his crutch. He’s dressed in a loose t-shirt and sweats, hair slightly mussed. “Couldn’t sleep,” he murmurs. “You?”
“Same,” you admit, wrapping your arms around yourself.
“Your room’s closer,” he says.
You step aside, holding the door open for him. “Come in.”
Once inside, he maneuvers carefully to the bed, his movements slow to avoid jostling his injured foot. He sits down on the edge of the mattress with a soft groan, stretching his leg out.
“You sure you’re okay?” you ask, hovering awkwardly near the desk chair.
“I’m fine,” he replies, leaning back on his palms. “Don’t hover.”
“I’m not hovering,” you mutter, sinking into the chair opposite him.
The quiet stretches, each second feeling longer than the last. You wonder if this is how it’s going to be for a long time—awkward, but unavoidable, because not being by each other’s sides isn’t an option. You fiddle with the hem of your sweatshirt, glancing at him and then quickly looking away when his eyes meet yours.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Your fingers still. “Talk about what?”
Wonwoo tilts his head. “Whatever’s keeping you awake.”
You chew on your lip. Maybe it’s because it’s so silent that nothing seems intimidating anymore, or maybe it’s everything you’ve pushed down so far finally reaching a tipping point, or—and perhaps the most likely reason—maybe you’re just incredibly, terribly, immensely stupid, but the words spill out faster than your mind reacts.
“I heard you,” you blurt out.
He straightens a little. “Heard me?”
“The other day,” you clarify, voice wavering. “In the alley by the dumpster. With Soonyoung.”
The shift in his demeanour is subtle, but you notice it—his shoulders tense, his fingers curl around the covers on the mattress. “Oh.”
You take a deep breath and force yourself to continue. “You told him you remembered. That night. The
 you know.”
Wonwoo doesn’t immediately respond, his gaze fixed somewhere near the desk lamp.
“I’m not mad,” you add quickly, feeling the need to fill the silence. “I was a little confused, but—but I get why you lied. I just—” You hesitate, wringing your hands. “I feel stupid. You remember everything, and I
 don’t.”
His eyes snap to yours. “You’re not stupid. We were drunk. It’s only natural that you don’t remember.”
“I don’t even know what I said to you,” you say, barking out a short, bitter laugh. “Or what I did. I’ve been over analyzing it for days, and you’ve just
 known.”
“Because it was important,” he says, voice low.
Your heart stutters. “Important?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
The air feels too thick, like the walls of the room are closing in on you. You swallow hard and muster up a weak smile. “You didn’t think to, um, bring it up?”
“I thought about it,” he admits. “A lot. But I didn’t know how you’d react. I didn’t want to mess things up.”
“Wonwoo,” you say, “we’ve already messed things up.”
“Fair point.” He gives you a small, rueful smile.
You let loose a soft exhale. It feels like a weight off your chest, somehow, as though partially revealing the truth eased some of the static in your head. Wonwoo shifts on the bed, adjusting his position with a wince. Without thinking, you stand and move closer, grabbing a pillow to place under his leg.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Making sure you don’t injure yourself even more,” you say, propping his foot up gently.
“Thanks, doctor.” He’s teasing you, and you know it, but his voice is soft when he says it. Your heart, that traitorous organ, speeds up a little.
You straighten up, but something about the way he looks at you pins you in place. His eyes roam over your face, searching, and it makes your skin feel too warm.
“You don’t have to feel embarrassed,” he says after a moment, “about not remembering.”
“...I can’t help it,” you admit, barely more than a whisper.
He leans forward slightly; his hand brushes against yours. “Then let me help you.”
“What are you—”
Before you can finish, he reaches up and removes his glasses, setting them on the nightstand. His movements are deliberate, his eyes fixed on you. When he says your name, it sounds like a plea, and then, “C’mere.”
You sit down next to him. Your heart pounds so loudly, you’re sure he can hear you. “Wonwoo,” you whisper, voice trembling.
“Do you want to remember?” he asks.
Your throat feels dry; your hands clench into fists at your sides.”I—”
He doesn’t wait for an answer, leaning in slowly, his gaze dropping to your lips. You don’t move away. You can’t, so you nod instead. When his mouth meets yours, it’s anything but tentative.
Wonwoo’s lips mold against yours insistently, sending sparks shooting through your veins. His hands find your waist, pulling you closer, and you instinctively reach up, threading your fingers through his hair.
You gasp when he deepens the kiss, his tongue brushing against yours unhurriedly, in a way that makes your knees weak even though you’re already sitting. He tilts his head, exploring your mouth with a thoroughness that leaves no room for hesitation. His hand slides up to cup your jaw; his thumb brushes against your cheek. The combination of his touch and his kiss is overwhelming. Every nerve in your body feels like it’s on fire.
When you pull back for air, he doesn’t let you go far. His breathing is ragged, his fingers still gripping your waist like he’s afraid you might disappear.
“Do you want to stop?” he asks hoarsely.
You hesitate. “I— Your foot is still injured.”
“So?” Wonwoo counters, lips twitching. “That doesn’t mean I have erectile dysfunction.”
“Wonwoo,” you groan, half-laughing, half-mortified as you push at his shoulder.
He chuckles, warm and low. “Okay. No sex. But kiss me again.”
So, in the darkness of the night, in the quietness of his childhood home, you do.
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There was a time when you thought Jeon Wonwoo was going to ask you out.
It never happened, of course—you wouldn’t be in this pitiful state if he had, wouldn’t be rotting in bed in layers of your own misery and heartache. 
You remember the way he’d looked at you that night. His gaze lingered just a second too long, his expression soft in such a way that made your heart flutter and your stomach twist into thousands of tight knots. You’d caught yourself staring at his lips, wondering what they’d feel like against yours, and immediately looked away, cheeks burning. He’d seemed nervous, too—words stumbling over each other like he was rushing to get them out. For one foolish, fleeting moment, you’d thought that he was going to say it.
When he told you about his girlfriend, you’d plastered on a smile and congratulated him. Still, something in your chest had sunk that day. What had you expected, really? For him to sweep you into his arms and confess that you were the one? He had always been kind, but kindness does not equate love.
Except it does, because Jeon Wonwoo had told Kwon Soonyoung that he likes you. It’s impossible—it has to be, because he had been devastated when he broke up with his girlfriend. But you remember the accidental one-night stand, and the night spent in Changwon, and the fact that he climbed up a tree to save a measly kitten just because you asked, and you know you’re lying to yourself.
And you? When he broke up with his girlfriend, you felt
 relief. His sadness wasn’t something that you wanted to enjoy. No, you hated that he was hurting. But the other part of you, the part of you that had waited for this moment without ever acknowledging it, was thrilled.
The truth always finds a way to slip out. You’ve always been bad at hiding it, but the truth is this: You’ve loved Jeon Wonwoo for as long as you’ve known him.
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The consequences of an accidental one-night stand go something like this: 
It starts with Kwon Soonyoung. Of course it does.
When Soonyoung gets drunk—really drunk—he becomes the type of mess no one really knows how to handle. He laughs too loud, stumbles too much, and becomes emotional over the smallest of things. The only difference tonight is that he has, apparently, outdone himself. He had, in his drunken state, managed to get himself stuck in the worst part of town with a phone number he couldn’t remember dialling, and no one had the heart to tell him he probably should just stay the night.
Somehow, Sana managed to rope you and Wonwoo into picking him up, much to Xu Minghao’s glee. 
And somehow, equally confusingly, you are on Jeon Wonwoo’s lap in his car, his foot fully healed now. The seat belt buckle digs painfully into your thigh, but it’s forgotten quickly—simply due to the fact that Wonwoo’s lips are on yours.
His hands are gentle as they rest on your back, holding you closer, almost like he can’t believe this is real. The softness of his lips, the careful yet urgent way he kisses you—it’s enough to make you forget the world outside of his car, enough to make you forget about your late-night rescue mission.
It’s dizzying, intoxicating, and when he pulls back for a brief moment to catch his breath, you barely let him before you’re leaning in again, eager for more. Your hands move on their own, finding his shirt’s collar and gripping it as if it’s the only thing keeping you grounded.
You forget that you’re both in a car, in the middle of the night, on some random dark street far from home. You forget that there’s so much you’ve buried underneath layers of friendship and years of yearning. 
It all blurs out, except for the one question nagging you ever since Minghao posed it to you back in the coffee shop.
“Wonwoo,” you murmur against his lips, and his kisses slow, just enough to listen. “Why did you break up with your girlfriend in freshman year?”
He pulls back, brows furrowed slightly. “Because of you,” he says simply, as though it was obvious all along. 
Your breath hitches. The words settle into your chest, fluttering like wings, wrapping around your heart. Because of you.
“I don’t— I don’t understand,” you whisper. “Why?”
Wonwoo doesn’t answer immediately. His hands move to your face, fingers brushing away stray strands of hair from your forehead, his touch gentle. His thumb traces the curve of your cheek. He leans forward, just enough to close the distance between you both, and kisses you again.
It’s different this time. The kiss isn’t frantic or urgent. It’s slow. His lips move tenderly against yours, hands slipping down to the small of your back, pressing you against him. When he pulls back this time, it’s only by a fraction.
“You’ve always been there, you know?” he murmurs. “It was hard, trying to get over you. I didn’t want something to happen and for our friendship to end ‘cause of something stupid.”
It turns out you and your best friend are a pair of idiots, juggling the same worries about toeing the carefully-drawn line between friendship and the forbidden zone beyond it.
All at once, the confession you didn’t even realise you were dying to make slips past your lips. “I’ve liked you from the start,” you say, a little breathless, and before you can stop yourself, you’re laughing lightly. “I never thought I’d—” You cut yourself off, shaking your head while your hands find their way back to his shirt, tugging him close.
His lips return to yours, his kiss deeper this time, more insistent. There is no hesitation this time. The kiss spirals between soft and demanding, his teeth nipping your lower lip and your tongue sliding against his. His hands are everywhere, pressing you to him as if trying to make up for lost time, and you let him, falling into the moment with a fervour you didn’t know you possessed.
You pull back only when your lungs burn for air, lips swollen and kiss-bitten. Wonwoo’s hands settle on your hips, warm and gentle.
“I think,” he says, gruffly, “Soonyoung’s probably passed out by now.”
“Priorities,” you tut, but a laugh bubbles out of your throat anyway.
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The consequences of an accidental one-night stand also include dealing with an irate Kwon Soonyoung the next morning, when he barges into your apartment without warning. You and Wonwoo, with identical bedheads and noticeable embarrassment, stand in a corner together while he paces your living room.
“You’re telling me,” he says, turning around so violently, he nearly trips over his own heel, “that you forgot to pick me up because you were too busy sucking face in Wonwoo’s car?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” you say, at the same time Wonwoo says, “How crass of you, Soonyoung.”
Your friend splutters, flabbergasted. “Wow. Maybe I should quit college and start a matrimony service instead.”
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⇱ a/n: this entire fic was inspired by two of my favourite kdramas: business proposal, and love next door. thank you to skye, @etherealyoungk, & kae, @ylangelegy, for beta reading this fic & leaving sweet comments! thanks for reading & i hope you have a wonderful day!
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madamechrissy · 2 months ago
Text
Cursed Promises
Pairings: Sukuna x Fem reader
CW: This chap, loss of virginity (reader's) Sukuna fks reader with both his cocks, (yayyy) lots of use of all his tongues and mouths, some semi public play, Sukuna calls you little bunny and slutty/whore etc, soft Sukuna, he's falling fast tbh, reader is falling quicker, lil bit of degradation, true form Sukuna, THIS CHAP IS ALMOST ALL SMUT lol you're warned.
Summary: You have been promised to Ryomen Sukuna, King of curses, for as long as you've been alive, ostracized from your village, 'special'. Now you are to marry him, sight unseen. People everywhere fear him, but will you find yourself intrigued by him. Just who is the King of Curses to his new wife? Arranged marriage au
A/N: This is ALL fluff and SMUT lol, Four Parts, you're not gonna get much plot, I really wanted monsterfucking and them being cute!? don't ask.- WC this chap-7.2k
Comments/ reblogs appreciated if you like this silly stuff ❀
<<<Part Two part four>>>
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Part Three
One week Later
You have not seen the King of curses for days, he had gone off to take care of some disturbances amassing, and was not coming home until hopefully tonight. You find yourself looking hopefully every time there is a knock on your door to your chambers, or every time you hear horses pull up out front. But it’s not him, and the worst?
You did not get to tell him goodbye beforehand.
Of course, he does not owe you such things, and it was very new, but you already have grown to be enamored with him, so very intrigued, and
 of course you desire him. It’s written all over your body, all over your face, even days later you have bruises decorating your waist and hips from where his strong hands gripped, little scratches healing where nails had pressed in
You remember the feeling, so blissful that night right on the dining table, he’d brought you so much pleasure you felt more drunk than any amount of wine could ever make you. You can’t even imagine how it could get better, how there could be even more to sex than that, but then you remember those hard cocks, pressed against your eager pussy.
Heat creeps to your cheeks at such a memory, you are pacing the halls when Uraume comes up to you, a little smile on their delicate features.
“The King has arrived.” Uraume says now, and your breath catches, you let out an embarrassing squeal, that you quickly try to hide, clearing your throat and tucking back your hair.
“Apologies, Uraume.” You bow your head, trying to regain composure.
“You’re very excited, I see.”
You sigh. “Very.”
“He wants you to meet him in the Onsen, I shall lead you there.” You heat up all over again, at the thought of being with the King there.
“Will we be alone?” You murmur, while Uraume leads you out, they tilt their head curiously at you.
“Are you asking if his concubines will bathe with you as well? No, the King has asked for you both to be alone.” You truly give up trying to hide how pleased this makes you.
You should not expect such treatment, it is not how things are even done, a King is expected to engage with his concubines and have several babies, have many heirs, it’s a sign of his fertility. You see them talking about you as they walk through the halls, in elegant kimonos showcasing much of their sleek forms, whispering behind their hands at you.
You cannot help but resent them, knowing they have had him, but it was surely foolish, they have done more than you already have with him, but you are ready, to truly give the King yourself. Though there is much to learn about the somehow cruel yet kind man, one thing was certain.
You want him.
A lady’s maid helps you undress, until you’re completely naked, your chest rising and falling with each nervous breath. You take the wrapped clothes and towel as you nervously slide the door open, feeling the hot steam rise, you see it then, his strong, muscled back as he is alone in the spring. Your eyes assess every inch you get to see greedily.
“Shut the door, bunny, you’ll let all the steam out.” Sukuna’s rough voice says then, you quickly do as he asks, setting the clothes and towel down, stepping into the hot bath now, exhaling as the heat sinks into your skin, relaxing every bit of your muscles when you step deeper.
He’s covered in new scars you notice faintly with a frown, he already had many, but as you step closer you get the full view of just how many he has. You stand there behind his towering form, water up to your breasts, when he looks back at you over his shoulder, red eyes assessing you hungrily.
“Wash my back, brat, or are you afraid?” You take the washcloth from his hands now, gently running it up and down.
“You asked for just me here, my King?” Your voice is soft, Sukuna leans his neck side to side, sighing while you gently scrub his skin.
“One bunny should be enough to wash me.” You snort, and he turns now, snatching your wrist, your hand an inch from his skin. “You laugh at me? More insolent from just a few days ago?”
“N-no, sorry my King.” You go to wash his chest, eyes darting up to his here and there, two of his hands rest on your naked waist under the water while his head tilts to study you.
“Something to say? Bunny looks angry.” His tone is mocking, you scowl up at him then, earning a wide grin.
“Ever think that I just missed you!?” He pauses then, four red eyes narrowing, stepping back away from you then. “What?”
“Miss me, you’re fucking foolish. All some ploy to toy with me?” He demands, cupping your chin, long fingers taking it over.
“What, no one has ever said they missed you?” You ask, softer, his grip relaxes, but he’s still cupping you under your chin, thumb over your fluttering little pulse.
“How can you? You do not know me hardly yet to come to miss me. Do you know who I am!?”
“I do, and I missed you. So what, going to order me not to?”
He exhales, stepping closer, the steam enwrapping you all in the beautiful room, lotus flowers floating in the softly undulating water, which laps over his torso and your chest softly. “Why?”
“Why do I miss you? I do not know exactly how to put it into words, I just
” You worry your lower lip nervously, pulling your wrist out of his hold, to rest your hand on his chest, feeling his pounding heart beat under hot skin. “I was very sad without you, and longed for your return.”
“Tch, you are so whiny.” You glare again, but he pulls you against him fully, you blush when you feel his lengths against you, when he leans low, wrapping two arms around you. “I suppose I also wished to hear your annoying voice, and see your stupidly pretty face.”
You brighten up, earning an eye roll. “You did!?”
“Shut it.” He kisses you then, brutal and hungry, you melt into the embrace, his bites making your lips tingle and burn, sharp tongue drinking your every cry, two hands gripping your ass, lifting you until your legs are around his waist, you feel his cocks pressing against you from under, you’re so close to him, grinding now, earning his groan.
The groan urges you on, you’re pressed against the wall of the bath, slick cunt gliding on the length of one of his cocks, his tongue on his stomach shoots out, licking your clitoris, and your head falls back for his sharp teeth. He bites you so hard it breaks your flesh, a trickle of blood falling down your collar bone, which his mouth drinks up, you see the blood on his chin, making him terrifying.
Terrifying and so sexy, you cannot take it then, you swipe some of your blood off him, kissing him and tasting it, the copper of it mixed with his heady taste. You’re rolling your hips, slick and hot against his abdomen, your own nails pressing against him, feeling the strong muscles tense under you.
He lifts you out of the bath then suddenly, you gasp, both of you are dripping water droplets everywhere, the steam floating up and surrounding you both, the room is so warm you are only shivering from desire. Sukuna has you on your back on several fluffy towels, leaning his heavy weight on you. You continue to be devoured by him, he’s kissing down your neck, to your breasts.
“This body, fuck.” He growls out the words, huffing while he sucks on your nipples, fingers slipping down your tummy, which trembles under his rough fingers, your back arching.
“Please, my King, touch me.” You beg now, he takes two fingers while two hands spread your thighs, sinking two thick fingers in your cunt, making you scream, while he presses up over and over on that spongy spot in your eager hole.
“Soaking wet, and begging, you’re so easy, so desperate, hmm?” You manage a glare, which he seems to entice him, he’s grinning down at you.
You take one of his cocks in your hand, watching him fall apart from a touch, his red eyes dilating so that they’re all almost black, hands touching every inch of skin he can find. “You’re so easy, mmm did you miss me?”
“I did not miss you at all, damned brat.” You giggle, but then his fingers are replaced by the head of one of his cocks, the other resting on top of your clit. You gasp as you feel the mushroomed reddened tip against that slick, the other dripping precum on you, creating pressure just from that. “Nothing else to say?”
“I
 you
 n-no, y-yes!” He doesn’t make fun of your pathetic little attempt to speak this time, he exhales, pressing in, and you feel so stretched just by his tip it’s insanity, even two of his fingers could not prepare you.
He sinks deeper then, pushing past that barrier, and you scream out, he pauses, leaning over you and allowing you to adjust, before pulling back, he’s on his knees, two hands gripping your hips, your back arches off the floor. Your hair is splayed on the towels, soaking wet still, while he stretches and fills you. You both moan out when your walls spasm around him.
“You’re
 t-too big
” You whine, much to his amusement, two of his hands grip your breasts, the tongues lapping out all over them.
“I’m barely in, brat.” You gasp, eyes wide open, looking down, and he pushes even further, your wetness pooling around him, making it easier for Sukuna’s cock to sink even deeper in your little hole. “Still not even half in, f-fuck you’re too tight
 loosen up this instant, I command it!”
“Loosen!? What!? Ah!” You scream out as he stuffs you more, and soon the pain is dissipating, replaced by insane pleasure, he moans out now, his cock inside you and the other, grinding on your clit, when he pulls that one out, leaning you up, pressing the other one inside you now, the lower cock grinding against your ass, feeling so lewd and so good.
“That’s it, look at you, taking me so well, cunt is made for her king.” He’s huffing now, and chuckles, grabbing your chin when your eyes roll back. “Look, fucking you so deep- ha. Can see me.”
You look down, seeing the bulge of your tummy as he moves slowly inside of you, only serving to make you wetter, more sensitive, you scream out then when he sinks so deep he hits your cervix, bottoming out in you. The sight is so wanton and lewd, only serving to make you wetter, more sensitive, your eyes shoot back to his, he’s watching his cock move in you, watching your tummy move.
“Going to ruin you, little prey.” Sukuna is whispering the words, and you are wriggling under him at the pressure, at the stimulation, his tongue in his stomach lapping at your clit again, then.
“Too much, too much I’m - ah!” You shatter then, falling apart all around the thick cock pummeling you now, faster and harder, his huge body overtaking you, you’re seeing little glittery stars, more intense than you’ve felt before with him even.
“That’s it, cumming so easy, your first time, too?” He’s teasing you with a gruff voice, you’re too far gone now though, not even here anymore, shaking as you struggle to stay tethered. “Ready for me to stop taking it easy?”
“Taking it easy- wh-what now?” He’s grinning wickedly, those four eyes all lidded, when he presses your thighs up high, folding you in half. “Sukuna!”
“You can take it bunny, be a good girl would you?” You’re being pumped so full then it’s insane, you hear the loud smacks of skin while one of his cocks is fucking into your heat, he keeps dragging you on each one, your cunt is drooling down their veiny lengths, while your mouth is drooling, he swipes some of it with a smirk. “Pathetic, fucked out little bunny.”
You want to retort, you want to glare, but you are indeed pathetic, when he’s fucking you like this, harder and harder, so deep as he smushes your body, you feel like you’re splitting in half. Just as you get used to one sensation, one hand is licking your tits, your neck, his tongues alternate lapping at your clit, his cock shifts to the other one. Now he’s thickening in you, two hands pulling on your hair.
“Can’t wait till I can put both in you
 fill your body fucking everywhere.” Your cunt is so slick it’s slippery, even as huge as he is, she’s sucking him in, and it feels so fucking good, him fucking into you over and over. “Feel so fucking- f-fuck
”
Sukuna is cussing, that mixing with the squelching wetness and loud slaps of skin intermingles with your cries, echoing in the Onsen. You wriggle to pull back but he pins your hips, Sukuna is pounding your pussy beyond its limits, switching cocks again, while his hands and mouths devour every inch of you, littering you with marks and bruises that you crave.
“That’s it, bunny, want this heir inside of you? I’m going to put one there, right fucking there.” He whispers, pressing a hand on your tummy, and you whine pathetically unable to form a coherent thought. “Beg for it, to get filled by your king.”
“P-please, f-fill me. Give me
 your heir
” You manage to squeak out, you can barely recognize your hoarse little whimper, while Sukuna growls right above you, your hands yank him down by his broad muscled shoulders, pulling his mouth to yours. “K-kiss me.”
“Demanding little-” Too late, you’re pulling this strong man down on you, while his hands press into the backs of your thighs bruisingly and his cock is shoved so deep, he moans right into your lips, as he brings you again, his tip dragging against your spot in your walls, while one of his tongue shoots out on your clit again, circling the little nub while he moans into your mouth.
“S-Sukuna!” You scream out hoarsely, unlatching your lips, taking several greedy breaths while he pushes so deep, drooling tip on your cervix. He gasps himself now, tensing, as you both kiss sloppy, he pulls back and exhales against your lips.
“Let me feel you cumming on my cock again, Bunny. Now.” You let him think it’s his order, but you’re already there, orgasm blinding you, your head would slam on the floor if one of his hands wasn’t carefully resting under it, you cum all over his cock, dripping everywhere, while he fills you so full, groaning against your lips.
Your walls are pulsing around his thick cock, milking him for everything he has, and he’s cumming so much, one cock filling you while the other pumps hot sticky cum on your tummy, painting your skin in white rope patterns. It stretches from your belly button up between your breasts. The heat of his cum makes you clench around him, while his strong arms drag you further on his length.
“S-Sukuna!” You’re sobbing now, you can barely fucking breathe when he’s still got you stuffed so full.
“Took all of it, and need more? You have such a greedy cunt.” Sukuna whispers, you try to focus on his face, try to bring yourself to, entire body tingling from the sensations.
“F-fuck
” Is all you manage, he snorts a bit, pulling out, moaning as the fluids of his cum and yours pour out of your abused pussy.
“Such a nasty mouth.” You halfheartedly glare, but it falls flat, when he’s bent down, pulling your puffy lips apart, the most satisfied smirk ever on his face. He then presses his fingers down the sticky substance coating your tummy, pussy, thighs, it’s all over, the mess he’s made you into.
“You’re so messy.” He bursts into a booming laughter at you now, he then dips a cloth into the water, handing it to you. “You’ll do it.”
“What now?” He raises a brow, and you raise one back.
“You made the mess, you will clean it.” He scoffs at you, but you shove the washcloth back in his hand, smiling and batting your lashes. “Go on now.”
“You insolent little brat. I am not your servant, I’m your king.” He cleans you though, swiping the mess off your tummy, then to your pussy, chuckling. “Wrecked you didn’t I?”
“Why did I miss you!? Ow!” You hiss now, blanching a bit when you see a little blood on the cloth. “What is-”
“It happens the first time.” He carries on, until you’re all cleaned up, pulling you to sit now, hands tracing your bare body, still dewy from the bath. “You loved it, what a slutty virgin you were.”
“You’re so arrogant and annoying.” You smack at his hands now, going to stand, only to wobble on shaky legs. He’s laughing even more, wrapping arms around your hips.
“You can’t even fucking walk, hah! Shall I have a servant carry you, weakling?”
“Sure, naked and all, let them.” You shove off him again, knees damn near knocking when you turn away, only for Sukuna to yank you back against him, you feel the fury in his energy rising. “What is it, my King? Aren’t you done?”
“Done with you? Fuck no.” He starts walking you to where the towels are, wrapping you carefully, slinging a towel over his hips low, showing every inch of his tattooed, muscled frame. “Stop drooling, human.”
“You’re infuriating!” You feel it then, emotions of what just happened, finally hitting, when your mind is trying to piece together what happened.
“Tch, don’t start that crying now. I have told you it irritates me.” He cups your face, tilting your chin up as he leans down. “Stop it.”
“You’re arrogant and conceited, and rude! Do you not know
 how it feels to for the first
 how I
”
“Stop. I order it.”
“You can’t order tears away, all right? I want you to hold me, not laugh at me.” He tenses, hating the sight of the tears glimmering now.
“You’re so demanding, can’t you be a good wife, an easy one?”
“I suppose I cannot.” You turn and stomp out now, only for King Sukuna to chase you out in his towel. “Go away!”
“Don’t you dare speak that way.”
“Ah!” Sukuna has hoisted you over his shoulders as the concubines walk by, many of them eyeing you, Sukuna glares at them.
“What the fuck are you all looking at?” His towel drops then, and they are now giggling, Sukuna sets you on the floor, looking only at you. “Fix my towel, wife.”
You bend down, grabbing it with shaky hands, while they start whispering again amongst themselves, the guards are also watching with surprise and amusement while you tie a knot around his thick hips. The bulge of his cocks, which are still semi hard, is apparent, earning the ogling of the women.
Sukuna however just grabs you by the wrist, dragging you past them, without a look, turning when you get to his bedroom door and smirking down at you. “You’re a jealous brat.”
“Am not!” You cross your arms, huffing, but you do smile as you hear their footsteps scampering. “Your chambers?”
“Indeed, I said I’m not done with you.” He opens the heavy door, revealing the grand chamber that is his own, filled with ornate furniture, silk curtains billowing from the windows. A massive bed that could fit a dozen people adorned with crushed purple velvet covers and a black canopy.
“Your bed is so
”
“It’s made to fit many women. But my itty bitty bunny seems greedy.” He murmurs, shutting the door behind him with a resounding click, you exhale, walking to it, dropping your towel on the floor and peering over your shoulder. “Fuck
 that backside will looks so good with my handprints.”
“Your handprints?” He walks to you, pausing your hand that is touching the soft blankets.
“Bend over.” His order thrills and terrifies you.
“No.”
“No!?” You grin, moaning softly when he does lift you, your legs dangling off the tall mattress, suspended there with your ass shown to him, earning a loud smack that you gasp at. “I see I will need to discipline you, hmm?”
“It is your duty as a husband.” You murmur, moaning when he smacks you again, two of his hands are spreading your ass cheeks apart, exposing your heat to his vision, he moans behind you.
“This gets you wet? Does everything I do get you wet?” He smacks you again, you just moan, you cannot help it, the pain just urges your drippy cunt on, still having him leak out of you.
“Y-yes, my King. It does- mnh.” Sukuna climbs on the bed, propping you on all fours, one hand shoving your face into the mattress, you hear the creak of his weight sinking on it, before you feel something hot and sticky drip down your ass. “What are you doing?”
He smacks your pussy now, you scream out into the pillow, while his saliva drips down your open pussy, then you feel his tongue lapping at you again. “You’re still pouring my seed out, perhaps I need to put more in you?” You moan then, shifting your hips, he chuckles. “So fucking eager.”
“You love it.” He pauses, lifting his hand off your head, you look back and bite your lip, shaky and overstimulated, but you want it, all of him again. “I am sore though, ah!”
“We need you to get used to this, I will not just fuck my bride once and call it a day.” His tongue slips inside your folds, pressing deeper, cleaning out all of his cum that’s left, slipping up to lap at your ass hole, he laughs as you squeak. “Ah and that’s your other hole.”
“I
 you
 now!? I
”
He clicks his tongue, letting his hand now grip your backside instead. “Not yet, calm down. Prissy bunny.”
“M’not- oh, oh!” He’s slipped a thumb inside your little ass hole now, moaning out as you do at the sensation, while he starts rubbing each tip back between your sore lips, precum already dripping out of them.
“You like it, such a whore already huh?” You should hate the term, but the way he says it, so pleasing. “My whore, aren’t you?”
“M’yours- Sukuna!” He’s pressing one tip, then the other, his body tensing as he feels your tight cunt drooling on them. “Not both, there’s no way I can.”
Sukuna rolls all four eyes, slipping between your folds, pressing one of his cock heads in, then the other. “Not all the way in, relax. An order.”
You’re still tense, while two strong hands spread your thighs while the other two run up and down your back, then he smacks your ass again. “Ah!”
“Breathe.”
You exhale nervously, and then you feel one tip press in, he fucks you just barely with it, you damn near cum from just that, before he’s got the other tip slipping in your entrance, his fingers leaving your ass and he’s rubbing a tip there too. You tense all over again, earning another smack.
“Relax, an order.” You exhale, nodding, and soon both tips are pressed in your tiny entrance, stretching you beyond your means, you can barely breathe, while he’s tensing behind you, pressing them both in, they rub and drool together while you feel the insane pressure in your lower tummy.
“Too much, too much!” You whine, and he exhales, pulling one out, sliding one fully in now, to the hilt. “Ah! S’good
 please
”
“Please what, slutty fucking brat?” He huffs the words, you’re clutching the soft velvet with your hands, when he takes them and bounds them behind your wrist, fucking you harder and harder. “Fuck you feel so
 perfect this cunt is
 m-made
 for
”
You swear you hear the King of Curses whimper.
Surely it was an illusion?
“More, please.” Is all you whine, and he does just that, pulling back out and slipping both tips in your cunt he’s stretched so well, he can only get the tips in still, but you’re cumming all over them, while your wrists are in his brutal grip, he’s rolling his hips, feeling you grip him like a fucking vise.
“F-Fuck.” He whispers your name then, not bunny or brat, a desperate cry escaping his mouth when he pumps his two tips in you over and over, gummy little walls and that tight ring of muscles stretching and gushing to accommodate. “That’s it, cum f’me, huh?”
You’re screaming against the soft pillows while you do, cumming all over the thick invasion in your cunt, they can’t even go deeper, she won’t allow it, but she’s throbbing around his drooly tips, begging for it, for more. He’s gripping your hips while he’s gripping your wrists, you’re at his mercy, helpless.
“Feel her, f-fuck. M’gonna cum in her again, both of em. Is that what you want?” You nod weakly. “Then say you want me to, now.” He uses a fourth hand to smack your ass, the smack echoing in the room, stinging. You turn your head to look back at him, gasping for a breath.
“Cum in me
 with both. Please, Sukuna.” He groans out, pumping fast for a moment, his tips alone are burning your skin, he sinks just an inch in deeper, the stretch exhilarating, and then he starts spurting. “Ah!”
“Getting you pregnant tonight, wife, filling your fucking stomach with me.” He huffs, then the cum is pouring inside of your hole, the hot seed coating all your walls, bringing you to climax just from that again, you are too full, too full of him. He’s leaning over you, both cocks barely nestled, while he puts his lips to your ear. “Feel me?”
“All of you.” Your words and your cunt contracting make him sensitive, earning more seed sucked out, he pulls back and leans back to watch it all pour out while you weakly cry against the blankets, overwhelmed and fucked out.
“Look at how good she did.” He muses, and then his face is between your thighs, his tongue lapping at the drooling cum oozing out. “Taste us together.”
He pulls you up by your hair, arching your back, you open obediently as he spits in your mouth now, his cum, yours, and his saliva dripping, you swallow it, before he’s kissing you just like that, head upside down for his kisses, his hands everywhere on your bruised body. Soon he’s got you flipped and you’re straddling him, tears pouring on your cheeks.
“I’ll have my heir in your tummy by the end of the night, won’t I Bunny?” You nod weakly, wincing when he slides against your cunt.
“Ah-ah-ah!”
“You’re weak, can’t go again?” He earns a little shake of your head and a sniffle. “Fine, fine
 I’ll let your pathetic human body rest.”
“Pathetic!?”
“Pretty but pathetic.” Soon he’s dressed in his robes, and you’re so weak you can barely move. You look at him through sleepy eyes.
“Must I leave now?”
“Tch, no, you may stay.”
“The night!?”
Sukuna rolls all four eyes. “If you must.”
“Yay!” You giggle, energy abounding suddenly, you jump off the bed and pull him down by his robes.
“So happy from just that?” He raises a brow, you just nod, pulling him for a kiss, hand entangled in pastel locks. He pulls back and cups your face, overwhelming you with all the emotions he unknowingly elicits, when your tummy growls.
“I’m so sorry!” You mumble, but he smirks.
“You need to eat, get your strength for another round.”
“No more rounds tonight, I cannot handle it.”
“You’ve got another in you. But you will eat, I’ll have them bring you up a tray of dinner. I still have much to do.” You pout. “What’s that look!?”
“An - I want another kiss- look.” He snorts, but obliges, hot lips on yours once more.
“You enjoy that overmuch, look at you all pleased.” You grin big, he pretends it doesn’t make his chest ache.
“Kissing you? Yes. I think it’s my new favorite thing.” You murmur, but he tenses just a bit at that, confused by you, before his shoulders relax and his lips are turned up at the corners.
“You’re cockdrunk again, little slut.” He loves how mad you get, while you cross your arms under those breasts, making him hard all over again.
“Am not!”
“Are so. Need another round?” He runs his fingers through your messy hair, a sheen of sweat making your smooth skin glitter.
“I hurt, though Sukuna.” You say with a pout.
He sighs in annoyance. “You’re such a baby. Now let me leave.” He steps back, shooting you a look, eyes drinking in your bare skin. “I’ll send up some things like your robes to keep in my chambers.”
Staying in Sukuna’s chambers!?
“Could you not look so pleased?” You straighten up, bowing your head, to his amusement as he steps out, he doesn’t see the silly giggle you do, and you don’t see his little hint of a smile.
What sort of bride has he gotten?
*****
Sukuna comes in later that night and sees you lightly snoring, so small in his enormous bed, curled in a little ball shivering, somehow you’ve kicked the blankets off you he notices. He undresses and slips under the covers, he’s of course had many women in his bed, but for some reason he is just a little nervous, until you blink sleepy eyes at him.
“Kuna.” You murmur, he snorts at that, while you turn to him, snuggling up, your icy hands and feet pressing against his hot skin.
“What is that name, and why are you so cold, woman? Cease touching me this very instant.” He tries to push you away, but you snuggle even closer. “You little pest, I swear to the gods.”
“You’re so warm, Kuna. Mmm.” Again, he hears the name, while you snuggle to him for warmth, curled up like a damn cat, warming up your chilled fingers while his hands all hold away from you, unsure of just what to fucking do with you.
“I will kick you on the fucking floor if you do not warm up.” You blink sleepy eyes up at him, cupping his face now, he glares at you.
“I am warming up, on you.” You scooch even closer, loving the feeling of his warm, hot body on yours. “I touched myself while you were gone.”
“What now!?” You’re giggling again, head in a daze from his orgasms and the wine that came with dinner, a meal you devoured, fucking certainly worked up an appetite it seems.
“Yes, but I did not do a good job, I think I have much to learn.”
“You will not touch yourself without me here again, that’s an order.” You smile against his chest, snuggling even closer, enjoying him tensing.
“Oh, why not?”
“Because
” He slips a hand under your robe, pressing against your aching cunt, slipping his fingers between glistening folds. You moan softly. “She is mine. I’ll not have you touching her without my permission.”
“Yours?” You whisper, he snorts, shoving your head back against him.
“How did I get the most annoying bride? Was there no one else in the village but your bratty ass?”
You scoff, before inhaling his scent, so musky and alluring. “Meanie. Hmm, you smell so good, Kuna.”
“Cease that stupid name, now. And why are you sniffing me?”
“Hmm, but you call me bunny.” You mumble, yawning. “And you sniff my hair and neck, so.”
“Psh.” He will not say so, but he’s enjoying you all over him far too much, you snuggling him, your tiny little body against his enormous one. He wants to protect you from anything and everything, it’s all setting in, he hates it, the irritating feeling clenching his chest.
And you feel like he will protect you, his four arms wrapping around you finally, wide muscled thigh pressing between your legs, he feels so perfect and warm. You’re still aching from earlier, where he’s just touched, but you damn near could go again, she’s throbbing around nothing when one of his huge hands presses on your back, and the other brushes across your cheek.
“Can I stay here every night?” You ask, eyes shutting again, you battle to keep them open, but you’re losing.
“Every night? How annoying.” Sukuna can’t really imagine you not staying here every night, though. “Sleep before I occupy your bratty mouth.”
“Again!?” You feel his cocks start to press against you, he chuckles, shaking his entire body.
“I could go all day and all night. Ah, shutting up now I see?”
You are already drifting off to sleep in your new husband’s arms, you thought it would be so terrible, losing your innocence, laying under him, bearing him a future heir, but it was as far from that as anything could be. It was amazing, your sore, aching body melting against his warmth.
You could quite get used to this.
*****
The Next Week
“Sukuna, what are you doing!?” Your voice is a hasty breath. You are sitting right on Sukuna’s lap in the throne room, as he plays with your drippy wet cunt, rolling his long, rough fingers on your engorged little clit.
“Touching my wife, why?” He whispers in your ear, while the guards align the walls, your eyes roll back, body overheating while you try to keep in your cries. “Oh you love it too, you’re so slutty.”
You frequently sit with him here, and he teases absolutely, but he is sinking two fingers in your pussy, past those gummy little walls, you can hear your squishing under your purple robes, panicking and worrying everyone else can. But it feels so fucking good, you find your hips shifting, thighs opening for more, his fingers up to his knuckles in your wetness.
He moans softly, while more people pour in, they are speaking to him of this problem or that, you’re holding in your cries, no one can see what he’s really doing with how he has you turned towards him, but you can swear they know. It was odd at first, you at every single meeting, to the other nobles, but who are they to question Sukuna? And many times you could calm him.
Somewhat.
Even fingers deep in your pussy he manages to fling someone across the room, knocking over several people like fucking bowling pins, but you sure weren’t able to complain when his tongue on his hand is lapping at you, drinking up the juices that flow all over. You’re about to cum when he pulls back, letting you get a breath, he rests his head on his fist, full of boredom.
He sucks on his fingers, smirking at you, while he handles more, you end up yawning and snuggling against him at a certain point, one of his arms wraps around you, it’s so comfortable here like this. He has to leave again tomorrow and you’re absolutely dreading it, so you’re exceptionally clingy.
“Uraume, get her ready for dinner.” He says later on, when the room has cleared. “Get off me now, brat.”
“Not leaving.” He sighs, picking you up and putting you down now.
“Go on, now. An order.” You sigh, feeling emotions stick in your throat.
“Take me with you tomorrow?”
“Absolutely not, it’s dangerous.”
“Then-”
“Go. Get. Ready. For dinner. Don’t give me that look, bunny.” You follow Uraume, they take you to get cleaned up and dressed, Sukuna loves dressing you up for dinner it seems, he has an endless amount of yukatas and jewelry.
“Will you stay for this journey?” You ask Uraume.
“No, my Queen, I'll be joining him.” You frown then, Uraume at least keeps you company when Sukuna was not here, without them you will feel far too lonely in this huge castle.
“You can’t both leave me!” Uraume finishes clasping your necklace now, sighing.
“It will not be too long.”
“But Uraume, do I not have powers?”
“Well they are not trained, and the King cannot risk you. I’m afraid until you get some training-”
“That’s it, you’ll train me!” Uraume blinks at you.
“What now?”
“Yes, you will. I want to be useful, not just flounce around in gowns.”
“The king wants you home flouncing around in gowns though, you need to eat healthy and have heirs, not go off to battles.” Their voice is so calm always, you try to pout but it just doesn’t work on them like it seems to with Sukuna, so you decide to appeal to their logic.
“Uraume, but what if something should happen here? Should I not be equipped for such-”
“See how annoying she is?” Your husband’s voice interrupts now, as he stands in front of your doorway, taking the entirety of it up.
“Kuna
”
“Kuna?” Uraume snorts now, covering their face, earning Sukuna’s glare. “Sorry, my King.”
“Cease that nickname now. What am I hearing echoing through the halls, with your loud ass voice?” You sigh, looking down, fiddling with your hands in front of your lap now. “Do not even give the look of innocence, you’ll not go with us, that was an order.”
“But what about training? You’ll make me pathetic and helpless if someone comes here and attacks the castle!”
“We have guards for that-”
“Please?” You pout, and it ruins him, as it always does. You’re making him irritatingly soft, Uraume can’t help but watch in amusement. 
“I’ll arrange for some training when I return. If you will cease pestering Uraume and get your pretty ass for dinner.” He concedes, you grin so big then, brightening your annoyingly cute face, though he won’t tell you he enjoys it.
“Yay!” You giggle, the irritating sound making him and Uraume cringe just slightly, but Uraume smiles at you and Sukuna when you’re hugging the enormous sorcerer, and he places a hand on your head, brushing your hair back.
“You in these gowns
” His voice is a husky whisper, igniting desire back within you, but when wasn’t it burning?
“Mmm, you enjoy them?” You whisper, trailing your fingers up his bare chest, tracing the black tattoos that decorate his body.
“What a stupid question.”
“I’ll have dinner sent up.” Uraume shuts the door, as the sounds of your moaning and the King’s are soon echoing through the halls.
“We should eat
” You murmur, barely noticing the click of the doors when Sukuna presses you against them, rough kisses down your throat, already peppered with bruises and marks from him. Your hands entangle in his locks, as the words in your heart start to overflow. “Sukuna, I should tell you something before you go.”
“Stop being so sappy, I’ll be fine.” He cuts you off with his hands gripping your breasts over your robe, his other hands kneading at your backside, pulling you against him.
“B-but I need to say something
 you’re distracting me!” You moan out then, when he’s biting your collarbone, shoving you harder against the cold door, cupping between your thighs now, making you blinded.
You want to tell him you’re falling for him.
Would he laugh at you?
Would he believe you?
You have no clue, but now your mind is muddled, and every time you go to open your mouth, he’s taking it over again. Your heart is racing in your chest. “Kuna, let me say something first.”
“Hush, would you, woman?” Sukuna kisses you again and again, before sinking to his knees, you whine out, feeling your heat pool in your stomach. He lifts one of your legs over his broad shoulder, breath hot against you. “I’ll eat dinner alright.”
“Ah!” Sukuna’s spreading your lips and swipes his tongue up you, being edged all damn day you’re so sensitive you nearly come then and there. “You never let me finish a sentence. I need to- oh my gods.”
Sukuna’s sharp teeth bite your clit, the sensation making you gasp out, gushing honeyed arousal which he drinks with his tongue and lips. You can hear it, the sounds of him slurping you up, you’re dizzy, lips opening and closing, two red eyes glowing as they watch you, one hand steadying you, another arm wrapping your hips, pressing you against his face.
“L-love
 love you
” You finally manage to speak, only for him to pause, pulling back, your slick glistening all over his face. He glares, tongue lapping out to taste you off his lips.
“What nonsense is this!?” He demands.
“Nonsense, it is not, it’s-”
“Nonsense.” You glare now as he stands, towering over you, gripping your face with two huge hands. “Fucking idiocy.”
“Really, Sukuna? That’s really how you’re going to respond?” You feel tears stinging the back of your eyes, breaths coming quicker and quicker, as his words tear you apart.
“You don’t even
 that’s not
 you don’t.”
“Do not tell me what I feel! Infuriating ass of a man.” Sukuna steps back then, shoving you to the side. “Really, and you’re leaving?”
“I have much to prepare for, and you’re annoying the ever loving fuck out of me. Good night.”
“Good night!?” He slams the door, and you feel yourself whirling with emotions, fucking fury at him, confusion, your body’s reaction to his play, you’re shaky and dizzy suddenly.
You sit down on the floor by the door, hugging your knees and crying into your folded arms, wishing he would come back. But the next morning he is gone, and he did not say a damn word to you, aside from a note he has written informing you of things to take care of while he is gone.
There is a little box, and inside of it is another pretty necklace that you want to fling across the room.
I hope you come to your senses while I’m gone.
Your King.
Your King!? Not your loving husband- well this was Sukuna, but still, you scoff at his audacity, setting the note down and feeling the loneliness start to sink in, and he’s just barely gone. He couldn’t even come say goodbye to you? And this is what he sends you as a farewell?
Why have you fallen in love with such an ass?
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Taglist: @mistygrovesarchive @mima0127 @janrcrosssing @thejujvtsupost @clp-84 @silvarys @after-laughter-come-tears @vantedaes @liivzen @just-lilita @jdevilmadness @lixern @spaceeyhem @thisisew @bozos-r-us @zwr1tx @slootbear @pamemoonlight @xxyaoi-nationxx @jschlattsgff @alessdramawouldbenice @sukunasfavgroupie @1emma1 @nanamjai @1-800-blues-clues   @watashiwasohidesu @vynwan-cbq  @mouseyboo @imbacklovie @cyberket @chuuminn @diannana @hanham10 @arilxup88 @suna-is-my-one-and-only @yv-ania @urgirlraven @sillymortalblob @nana-thee-galaxy-g1rl @jiahu @badnbouj @forbiddenpaste
Rest in the comments! One more fluffy/smutty part hehe <3
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carnalcrows · 1 month ago
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EX MARKS THE SPOT — THANOS
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pairing: plug!thanos x male!reader
synopsis: After a messy breakup, you turn to Thanos, a dangerously smooth dealer in a suit, for more than just supplies—and somehow end up making your ex jealous while questioning your life choices (and his cologne).
content warnings: 18+, bottom male reader, drug usage, mentions of alcohol, myung-gi is reader's ex, marijuana, drunk sex, riding, shot-gunning, breeding, creampie, myung-gi is an asshole.
word count: 2.2k
A/N: this is hands down the funniest thing i've ever written lol. enjoy!!
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Texting your ex always felt like poking a bear—pointless, frustrating, and dangerous. Yet, here you were, staring at a string of messages from Myung-gi, your recently demoted ex-boyfriend, as he passive-aggressively reminded you of all the things you’d “lost” when he left.
“Good luck finding anyone who’ll put up with you. Or supply you. 😊”
The nerve. You could practically hear his smug tone through the screen, and it made you want to chuck your phone into the nearest body of water. This man had cheated on you, lied about it, and somehow still had the audacity to act like you were the problem.
You rolled your eyes so hard you swore you saw the back of your skull. Myung-gi might’ve taken his flashy car, his designer cologne, and—worst of all—his “supplier,” but there was no way you’d let him hold your good times hostage.
Still, it was hard not to get irritated. Myung-gi always had a way of making your blood boil while somehow convincing you it was your fault. He was like an evil mastermind but dumber, pettier, and with terrible taste in socks. (Who wears neon argyle with loafers? Seriously.)
You shoved those thoughts aside and scrolled through your contacts. A friend had slipped you a number a few days ago, prefaced with, “This guy’s the best in town. Professional. Discreet. Just
 don’t piss him off.” You hadn’t planned on using it, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
You took a deep breath and typed out a message:
You: “Hey. Got your number from a friend. Need to talk.”
The reply came almost instantly, which was mildly unsettling.
Unknown Number: “Come to 10th & Main. 9 PM. Cash only.”
Straight to the point. No pleasantries. Not even a "Hello."
You hesitated for a moment before typing back:
You: “Cool. What’s your name?”
Unknown Number: “Thanos.”
You stared at your screen, blinking slowly. Thanos? Thanos? Like the purple guy from the Avengers? What kind of name was that?  Was this some kind of joke? You half-expected his next message to be something like, “Bring me the Infinity Stones,” or, “I hope you enjoy dust.”
A dozen questions raced through your mind. Should you be scared? Impressed? Concerned he might snap his fingers and wipe out half your neighborhood? You weren’t sure if you were meeting a dealer or the final boss of a video game.
After a long moment of contemplation—and a quick Google search to make sure “Thanos” wasn’t slang for something illegal—you decided to go for it. Worst-case scenario, you’d die in an alley, and Myung-gi would probably gloat at your funeral. Best-case scenario? You’d have a cool story to tell.
With a sigh, you texted back:
You: “Alright. See you then.”
Unknown Number: “Wear something cute.”
Your jaw dropped. Was he
 flirting? With you? Oh, this was going to be interesting.
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When you showed up at the alley, you immediately regretted your decision. Thanos was leaning against the wall, his lean frame illuminated by the dim, flickering streetlight. His head gleamed like a polished amethyst, and his piercing gaze locked onto you the moment you stepped into view.
“So,” he said, his deep voice rolling over you like a summer storm. “You’re the newbie.”
You swallowed hard, clutching the cash in your pocket. “Uh, yeah. I guess.”
He pushed off the wall, his towering presence somehow even more overwhelming up close. His suit, far too nice for a back-alley transaction, clung to his broad shoulders like it was tailor-made.
“You guess?” he repeated, tilting his head with an amused smirk. “Pretty boy doesn’t know what he wants?”
Your brain short-circuited for a moment. “I’m here for
 you know
 the stuff.”
His grin widened, and he handed you a small bag of green nuggets. “Relax, sweetheart. I’m not gonna bite. Unless you want me to.”
Your face flushed, but you tried to play it cool. “Thanks,” you muttered, already turning to leave.
“Hold up,” Thanos called out, stopping you in your tracks. “Do you even know what to do with it?”
You hesitated, clutching the bag like it was a live grenade. “Uh
 yeah?”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Don’t lie to me, pretty boy. Come on.” He gestured for you to follow him, and before you could protest, he was walking toward a nearby bench under the dim streetlight.
You trailed after him, curiosity outweighing your embarrassment. He sat down, pulling out a rolling tray, papers, and a grinder like he was some kind of cannabis sommelier.
“Watch and learn,” he said, his hands moving with surprising finesse as he broke down the green nuggets and ground them up. He sprinkled the freshly ground product into the paper, rolled it up with precision, and sealed it with a quick lick.
“There,” he said, holding up the perfect joint like it was a masterpiece. “Now you try.”
“I—uh—I don’t know if I can
”
“You can,” he said firmly, pushing the supplies toward you. His large hands hovered near yours as you awkwardly tried to mimic his movements. Your fingers fumbled with the paper, and you could feel his amused gaze on you the whole time.
“Here,” he said, reaching over to guide your hands. His touch was warm, steadying. “Like this. Don’t roll it too tight. You want it to burn evenly.”
You felt your pulse quicken as his fingers brushed against yours. By the time you managed to produce something vaguely resembling a joint, you were red-faced and flustered.
“Not bad for a first-timer,” he said with a chuckle, lighting your creation and taking a slow, deliberate drag before handing it to you. “See? Not so hard.”
You took a hesitant puff, coughing immediately, which earned a laugh from Thanos. “Easy there, sweetheart. No need to impress me.”
As you recovered, he leaned back against the bench, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “You’re cute when you’re trying too hard, you know that?”
You didn’t know how to respond to that, so you just focused on not coughing up a lung.
Thanos grinned, watching you with that same predatory confidence. “Don’t be a stranger, pretty boy. You’re fun.”
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A few days later, you found yourself at a house party you didn’t even want to attend. The music was loud, the drinks were cheap, and the pool in the backyard looked way more inviting than the sweaty chaos inside. You’d planted yourself there, floating in the shallow end with a Bacardi in hand, silently regretting your decision to show up.
And then, of course, he appeared. Myung-gi . Your ex was lounging by the pool with his new girlfriend—a painfully perfect, Instagram-model type who looked like she’d never experienced a bad hair day. He was laughing loudly, probably for your benefit, his arm slung around her like he wanted to rub it in your face.
You downed the rest of your drink in one go and muttered to yourself, “Great. Just great.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
You turned at the sound of the deep, familiar voice, and your jaw almost hit the water. There, standing at the edge of the pool, was Thanos. He looked unfairly good—white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, dark slacks that hugged his thighs in all the right ways, and that same smirk that made you question all your life choices.
“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice coming out more surprised than accusatory.
He crouched down, his golden watch glinting in the moonlight. “Got invited. Seems I’m more popular than I thought. But seeing you here? That’s a bonus.”
Your face heated, and you quickly looked away. “Well, enjoy the party.”
“Not until you stop sulking.” His gaze flicked to Myung-gi and back to you. “Ah. That explains it.”
“Explains what?”
“You’re sitting here like a kicked puppy because of him.” He gestured toward your ex with a tilt of his head. “Pathetic, honestly.”
You bristled. “I am not sulking.”
“Sure you’re not.” Thanos chuckled, then slid off his shoes and rolled up his pants, stepping into the pool like he owned the place. The water rippled as he waded closer, stopping just a foot away. “Wanna make him jealous?”
You blinked. “What?”
“You heard me.” He leaned in slightly, his smirk downright devilish. “We could give him a little show. Something to really stew over.”
Your heart raced. “You’re kidding.”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?” He cocked an eyebrow, his eyes gleaming with mischief.
You glanced over at Myung-gi . He wasn’t looking now, but the idea of wiping that smug grin off his face was very appealing. You turned back to Thanos, who was watching you with an expectant look, and something in his confidence made you throw caution to the wind.
“Fine,” you said, your voice steady despite the flutter in your chest. “Let’s do it.”
His grin widened. “Atta boy.”
Before you could second-guess yourself, Thanos closed the distance between you, one hand cupping the back of your neck as his lips met yours. The kiss was anything but subtle—his mouth moved against yours with a ferocity that left you breathless, his other hand gripping your waist as if to anchor you to him.
The water lapped around you, the sounds of the party fading into the background as you lost yourself in the moment. His lips were soft but commanding, his teeth grazing your bottom lip just enough to make you gasp.
You vaguely heard the sound of spluttering from the side of the pool, and when you opened your eyes, you saw Myung-gi standing there, his face a mixture of shock and rage.
Thanos pulled back just enough to speak, his lips brushing against yours as he murmured, “Think he’s mad yet?”
You glanced at Myung-gi , who looked like he was about to explode, and couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, he’s pissed.”
“Good.” Thanos grinned, pressing another kiss to your lips, this one slower, almost teasing. “Serves him right.”
By the time you finally broke apart, Myung-gi had stormed off, dragging his bewildered girlfriend behind him like a kid throwing a tantrum in a grocery store. You barely noticed, too caught up in the heat of the moment and the rush of adrenaline coursing through you.
Thanos leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear as he murmured, “You’re welcome.”
“For what?” you managed to ask, your voice a little shaky as you tried to play it cool.
“For reminding him that he downgraded,” Thanos replied with a smirk, his thumb brushing a stray drop of water from your jaw.
You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head. “You’re so full of yourself.”
He tilted his head, his piercing gaze making your pulse quicken. “And yet, you’re still here.”
Before you could come up with a witty retort, he reached out and took your hand, pulling you out of the pool with an effortless strength that left you momentarily flustered.
“Come on,” he said, his voice dropping an octave, rich and enticing. “Let’s find somewhere quieter.”
You hesitated for half a second before nodding, letting him lead you away from the crowd and the noise of the party. Your heart pounded as he guided you down a dimly lit hallway, past closed doors and muffled laughter, until he pushed one open and gestured for you to step inside.
The room was cozy and dim, the faint scent of lavender lingering in the air. As the door clicked shut behind you, the weight of the moment settled over you, thick and electric. Thanos leaned back against the door, his smirk softening into something more genuine.
“You good?” he asked, his deep voice cutting through the silence.
You nodded, your breath hitching slightly. “Yeah.”
He stepped closer, his presence overwhelming in the best way possible, and as his lips found yours again, all thoughts of Myung-gi —or anyone else—faded away.
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You didn’t know how you ended up in this position. Or maybe you wanted it to happen. The booze and the weed had certainly gotten to your head.
Thanos was puffing on a blunt while you rode him, bouncing up and down on his cock with fervour.
“That’s it my boy
Taking it like a champ,” he mutters, the praise going straight down to your dick.
The hand that wasn’t holding the blunt was wrapped around your waist, guiding your hips on his length. He slowly took in a slow drag of his blunt while locking eyes with you, his dark orbs stained with red from all the substance. It certainly was a sight to see.
He pressed his mouth to yours, shot-gunning the smoke straight to your throat as you inhaled. You had gotten slightly better with the weed by now, so thankfully, you didn’t start coughing all over the place.
Your pace on his dick slowly sped up, you were at the brink of an orgasm. “Fuck
 cum for me baby,” Thanos groans as his grip on your waist tightens. He takes another long drag of his blunt, before handing it to you.
You feel the scent of the herb hitting the back of your throat, and with that, you climax all over the purple-haired man’s stomach with your eyes rolling to the back of your head. Thanos releases soon after, painting your insides white.
You bask in the after-glow of mind blowing sex, lazily leaning forward on Thanos’ shoulder. The click of the doorknob alerts the man, who looks at a fuming Myung-gi and his still-confused girlfriend (the poor thing).
“Rise and shine my boy, I think we have an audience~”
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© carnalcrows on tumblr. Please do not steal my works as I spend time and and I take genuine effort to do them.
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ipushhimback · 1 month ago
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we were drunk it happens - part 3
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4
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pairing: lando norris x verstappen!reader warnings: pregnancy, jos verstappen words: 1.5 k
summary: Y/N find out she is pregnant. she doesn’t want to tell Lando as she was scared of his reaction.
taglist: @martygraciesversion381 / @l-vroom4 / @comicalivy / @sid-is-gr8
Fuck. That was the only thought in her head as she stared at the pregnancy test in front of her. She was on birth control. How the hell was she pregnant now.
This couldn’t be happening. She was only 22 years old. Definitely not ready to be a mom! And a single mom? No way she could do that. Oh my god. How should she tell Lando.
She took her phone and clicked on her brother’s contact. She really needed advice right now and who was better for that than her brother. He would probably be a bit upset but Y/N couldn’t really think of anyone else who could help her right now. After only one rang, Max answered.
“Hey, little one. What’s up? Everything alright?”, he asked.
“No, Max. Nothing is alright! Please. Can you come here? I need you.” Y/N felt tears welling up in her eyes and her voice broke.
“Of course. Are you hurt? Did something bad happen?” Over the phone, she heard how Max grabbed his keys as told Kelly he would have to leave. A second later she heard a door close.
“I am not hurt. No. Please just hurry.” She sank down against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall and just hung up. Max would be there soon. And then everything was going to be okay.
The doorbell rang and Y/N got up slowly to open it. When she did, her brother immediately went to hug her as he saw her wet cheeks.
“Hey. What happened. Did someone hurt you? Are you sick?”, Max asked as he leaned back a bit to look her in the eyes. “You know you can tell me everything, right?”
Y/N just held up the pregnancy test. There was no chance it was wrong. The word pregnant was clearly written across the little display in the white stick.
“That’s
 yours? I assume?”, Max asked carefully.
“Of course it is mine! Why else would I stand in my fucking house and cry like someone died?! I don’t know what to do, Max. He will kill me if he finds out.” Well aware that she would make Max’ shirt completely wet, she buried her face in his grey shirt.
“Who will kill you? Who even is the father? Oh my god. It’s Lando, isn’t it. No way.” Max looked concerned, but now Y/N could also see he was a bit disappointed, even though he would never show it.
He was too much of a supportive brother. He would never show his disappointment, nor would he upset her on purpose.
“It’s ok. Everything is going to be alright. I promise. Do you want to tell him, already?”
Y/N shook her head furiously.
“No. He
 he can’t know. We said no feelings. He really can’t know. Not yet.” Her brother just nodded while looking thoughtful.
“Do you
 do you wanna keep it?” He looked worried as if he was scared that he might have said the wrong thing.
Y/N nodded. She thought about an abortion, but she simply couldn’t. It was her baby. And more importantly, it was her and Lando’s baby.
“I do. It is mine.” She placed her hand on her still flat belly.
“Ok. I just want you to know that Kelly and I will support you. No matter how you decide to raise it in the end. And hey, maybe your baby will be friends with ours in the end. They won’t have a huge age gap.” The Formula 1 driver laughed a bit.
“You are not disappointed?”, Y/N asked. She honestly would have thought that Max would be a bit mad, but here he was, being the most understanding person.
“Maybe a little. No
 that’s not right. I am just a little scared. You are my little sister. And
 I am not really disappointed just worried about you. But you know I will always support you, no matter what happens.” Max smiled at her which made Y/N a little happier.
“I am going to have a baby”, she whispered, more to herself than anyone else.
***
For over a week, Y/N had been feeling nauseous. The pregnancy made her tired, dizzy and she couldn’t keep any food down. Still, she told Max that she will attend the next grand prix. Monza. She was happy, because she slowly started to like F1 again. When she was younger, Monza had been her favorite grand prix and the atmosphere when the Ferraris were on the podium

Like Seb had been saying. Everybody’s a Ferrari fan. Even if they’re not they are Ferrari fans.
Even though Y/N was looking forward to watching the race, she couldn’t help but feel nauseous as fuck. She threw up her whole breakfast earlier and now she just felt weak.
Because the last thing she wanted now was being alone, she had decided to go to the Ferrari garage where Charles’ girlfriend Alex already was. They have become quite good friends over the last weeks so Y/N enjoyed being around her. Together they were now staring at the tv in front of them. Observing the different cars and occasionally swearing when they were annoyed or too caught up in the moment.
At some point Y/N excused herself to head to the bathroom, needing to puke again. When she returned, Alex looked at her a bit worried.
“You look shitty today”, she said bluntly.
“Wow. Thank you. I didn’t see that already in the mirror or so
”
“No
 I didn’t mean it like that, Y/N. More in an ‘are you okay’ way. Because seriously, you look like you’re about to faint. And I don’t want to explain that to Max later.” Alex looked at her, definitely worried.
“No. I am alright. It just happens sometimes.” Y/N suppressed the urge to throw up again and took a deep breath. “Let’s focus on the race, ok?”
Alex nodded hesitantly.
Y/N really wanted to tell Alex that she was pregnant, but she simply didn’t know how. Furthermore she wanted to tell all her friends she made over the last weeks together. Alex, Lily, Carmen, Rebecca. And of course, her childhood best friend.
A bit later, the race was finished. Charles came in P1, much to Alex’ joy, Max in P2 and Lando in P3. Everything was perfect, until it wasn’t.
She just went outside to head to the Red Bull garage but just as she came near, she heard a sharp voice.
“P2? And you are proud of yourself? Wipe that damn smile from your face, Max. You started from pole; you should have won easily. Didn’t I raise you better?”
Y/N froze outside and couldn’t move anymore. What was her dad doing here? Max didn’t know about it, did he?
Suddenly she felt like she might really faint. Black spots were dancing in front of her eyes, and she couldn’t breathe anymore. She hasn’t seen her dad in at least three years. And honestly, she was glad about it. She didn’t want him in her life anymore.
Y/N knew that Max didn’t have as much of a problem with Jos as she did, but he still didn’t exactly like it when his dad was complaining about him being P2 in a race. She knew he would beat himself up for it, as it would make him believe he was terrible at what he does.
“Y/N? Are you ok?”, she heard a voice say. Lando.
“Uhm. Yes. Everything’s alright.”
Lando eyed her.
“You don’t look like you’re alright
 You’re pale and you look like you just saw a ghost. Did something happen? Are you not feeling well?”, he asked.
“No. Seriously everything’s alright.” But in that moment Max walked around the corner, and Jos was just behind him.
“Oh. Y/N. Nice to see you again after you’ve been ignoring my calls for what now
 three years? And still living in your brother’s shadow I see.” Jos laughed and Y/N felt like she wanted to die.
She felt tears welling up in her eyes and her chest tightened. The nausea was back as well, and she hated it. Why couldn’t she just live in a normal family?
“Are you alright, Y/N?”, Max asked from where he was standing. His sister just nodded before turning around and walking to Max’ driver’s room.
“Great, dad. Well, done.”, she heard Max say to their dad behind her. But she just started crying. Damn pregnancy hormones.
A little later when she sat on a small couch in the room, she heard a knock on the door. Max.
“Can I come in please?”, he asked while he was already opening the door. “I didn’t know he would be here, I promise, I would have told you. I wouldn’t want to hurt you or even the baby.”
But exactly then, Y/N saw Lando in front of the wooden door. He looked at her with wide eyes the shock evident in his eyes.
“A baby?”
A/N: sorry it took me so long to write this part but i was so tired thanks to school i didn’t have the energy to write a lot. also updates to the next fics and what i am writing etc is on my pinned post / intro post
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cassowarycutie · 1 year ago
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I have an idea to write a jikook fic based on Susie Save Your Love by Allie X and Mitski but I'm not sure if I should take it to dead dove territory or not....
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osarina · 11 months ago
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ᥣ𐭩 HE'S THE SERPENTINE, HE'S MY COLLAR!
FEATURING: dazai osamu
SUMMARY: you're finally back in yokohama after spending three years abroad dealing with mori's foreign business. the last person you want is to see dazai osamu, the wounds of his abrupt betrayal still too fresh for comfort. unfortunately, he decides to take matters into his own hands by showing up at your office in the middle of the night.
(wordcount: 7.1k; Ɔsfw; fem!reader; port mafia executive!reader, f!receiving oral, gunplay, knife play (ish), spitting, pussy drunk!dazai (as always), light choking, overstim, office sex, semi-public/public sex, unprotected sex, switch!dazai, switch!reader, undertones of angst (happy ending). lmk if anything is missing!)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: guys. GUYS. i had so much fun writing this, this is finally usurping in paper rings and picture frames as my fav fic that i've written. HAHAHH. i hope you guys like it too!!
You hear the door to your office swing open, and you press your lips together tightly, irritation swimming through your head as your grip tightens on the pen you’re using to fill out your paperwork. It’s already late—you’re tired and your head hurts, but you can’t leave the building until Akutagawa comes to hand you the report for his failed mission so you can pass it up to the boss. And you know that whichever subordinate this is, it’s definitely not Akutagawa because the boy would rather claw his own throat out than walk into your office without knocking. 
Which means it’s some upstart new recruit who has no manners and is likely going to make your night worse. You think being away for so long did some real damage to your reputation—three years ago, the lower ranked mafiosos avoided your floor like the plague, they didn’t barge in like they owned the place, but then again, you also had a certain dark-haired executive (ex-executive now, you remind yourself bitterly) lurking around your floor constantly trying to get your attention, and if people weren’t nervous enough about you, they were definitely terrified of him.
“Five seconds to explain why you came into my office without knocking or I’m putting a bullet through your fucking skull,” you say, voice acerbic, not even bothering to look up, the fingers of your free hand closing around the gun you have holstered at your side. 
“There’s a few too many cameras in the hall for my liking to stand out there and wait for you to open the door.”
The fact that he manages to dodge the bullet shot in his direction is testament to his skill, but you’ve known Dazai Osamu long enough to know that when he dodges to the side, nine times out of ten, he dodges left, so you drop your pen as soon as you pull the trigger and swipe the knife laying haphazardly on your desk, launching it in his direction. You watch as his eyes widen just a bit when it impales the wall right next to his ear, just barely nicking his skin—both a warning and a threat.
“My, my, bella, you’ve gotten faster the past few years,” Dazai grins, unperturbed, smile as reckless and lazy as the day he left four years ago as he plucks the knife from the wall. “I’ve missed you too.”
“What the hell are you doing here, Dazai?” you ask, voice cold and sharp as your finger rests against the trigger of your gun. “How did you get up here?”
“Security’s gotten lax since I’ve been gone, I guess,” Dazai shrugs, but his eyes dance with mirth as he makes his way over to your desk. “You should probably do something about that.”
“Dazai,” you say, keeping your voice low and trying to reign in your temper. There are no cameras in your office, but the hall leading here is littered with them, hidden ones that were recently installed that he wouldn’t know about, if any one of them caught his face and it’s reported to Mori
 “You think I won’t drag your ass to Mori myself? What the fuck are you doing?”
You’d have to, or it would be your head on the line for betraying the Port Mafia—you know better than anyone the treatment that traitors get, considering you were the one that dealt with them up until you were sent abroad three years ago to handle Mori’s foreign politics. 
“I don’t know, will you?” Dazai counters, head tilted to the side as he takes a seat on top of your desk next to you, a smile on his face that makes you think he knows something that you don’t.
“Maybe,” you answer, finger twitching on the trigger as you keep your gun pointed in his direction. 
Dazai is completely unbothered, leaning down until his nose is nearly brushing yours, lips tugged up in an unbearable smirk. 
“Then do it,” he challenges, and you glare at him, jaw tight and eyes hard. He reaches out, fingertips brushing your skin, and you feel like you’re on fire beneath his touch. You hate that your body still betrays you to him. “Don’t look at me like that, bella. I won’t even resist, I promise, as long as you promise to be the one to put a bullet through my skull, so your face can be the last thing I see. Ah, that would be a lovely death, wouldn’t it?” 
“You’re a fucking freak, Dazai,” you spit out, but make no move to get up or grab your phone. “What is wrong with you?”
Dazai doesn’t respond, only winking at you. Instead, his gaze shifts to the side and his hand drops from your face to his lap again. You hate even more that you miss his touch immediately. 
“You still have my couch,” Dazai notes to himself quietly, an odd tone to his voice as he stares at the dark couch in the far corner of your office, where he’d bundle himself up under blankets to avoid Chuuya, because Chuuya used to avoid your office like the plague when the three of you were younger.
“It’s my couch,” you say tightly, even though you know no one has touched it since Dazai left, and the ugly orange blanket he liked so much is still draped over the back of it, and it probably still smells like him. Your throat feels swollen, and you steel away your emotions and continue with, “I’ve hardly been back here since you left, anyway. What do you want, Dazai?”
“I heard you were finally back in Yokohama,” he says. “I wanted to see you.”
“Fuck off,” you say roughly. “So you decide to break into the main base of the Port Mafia and come all the way up to my office? You know where my apartment is, you could’ve shown up there. What do you really want?” 
“It’s the truth,” Dazai says easily, and his dark eyes meet yours—both of them, you note, and wonder when he decided to shed the bandages that covered his right eye. “I was at your apartment for a bit, I got impatient and came here instead.”
He’s telling the truth.
Oh, you realize—the clogged feeling in your throat is coming back, you force it away again and lean back in your chair, looking away from him to turn your gaze to the window. It’s well past midnight already, the moon is high in the sky and the stars are glittering above. In the distance, you can see the Ferris Wheel of Cosmo World glowing a bright purple color and a string of flashing red and blue lights as the police chase after someone.
“Why?” you ask finally, breaking the heavy silence that had settled over the two of you. 
“I told you,” Dazai says quietly, and your eyes turn back to him. He looks
 happier, you can’t help but note. A sick part of you feels jealous—you’re not sure if you’re jealous because he’s free and you’re still stuck in this place, or if you’re jealous because he’s happier and he’s happier in a life without you. You think it might be the latter. “I miss you.”
“Don’t give me bullshit, Dazai,” you snap, still trying to push away all of the feelings you’ve repressed for so long. “Get out of here before you find yourself killed. I’m not going to turn you in, but I’m not saving you if you get caught.”
“It’s not bullshit,” Dazai tells you, voice sharp in a way that it only ever is when he’s starting to get annoyed. “I-”
A knock at your door cuts Dazai off mid-sentence. Both of you freeze, Dazai looks at you as if waiting to see what you’re going to do, and you can so easily finish this now, let whoever is at your door in and drag Dazai back down to the torture room where he belongs, but instead you find yourself reaching for him. Your hand intertwines with his hair roughly, and you revel a bit in the hiss that escapes his lips as you yank him off the desk and roll your chair backward, kicking the back of his knee so that he crumples to the ground and you can push him beneath your desk. 
You lower your gun to your lap so you can keep it pointed at him and then glance down at him—he looks caught off-guard and disgruntled at being manhandled, but you think it's a bit funny how cramped he looks under there. 
“Not a single word,” you warn before fixing your chair and raising your voice. “Come in.”
Akutagawa wastes no time stepping into your office, nodding his head in respect as he makes his way over to the chair on the opposite side of your desk, a bundle of papers in hand. He doesn’t hand you the pile right away and he looks uncharacteristically nervous, and you raise your eyebrows, wondering what the issue is. 
“I am
 unsure how to fill out some of the report,” Akutagawa says, unable to meet your eyes as he stares at the windows behind you. “The operation was
 not a failure but not a success. The whole mission was in disarray, I do not know who was doing what at certain points.”
You stare at Akutagawa. “What do you want me to say to that?” you ask him, leaning back in your chair. “It’s your job to know that as the field officer for the mission. If you can’t handle that, Hirotsu will take back the position on the next major operation.”
Akutagawa bristles. “I can handle it,” he says, voice clipped. “This mission was just more chaotic than-”
“Than usual?” you ask idly, watching as he stiffens as your interruption. “This was child’s play, it’s unlike you to make excuses, Akutagawa.’
“I’m not making excuses,” he says immediately, “but
”
Akutagawa continues talking, but your attention is ripped away when you feel Dazai shift beneath the desk. You press your lips together tightly, stiffening as his hands rise to your thighs, spreading them a bit so he can settle between them. You glance down, he’s already peeking up at you, dark eyes glittering in a way that has you on edge. 
Don’t you dare, you warn silently, but Dazai only takes it as further encouragement, pressing his lips to your clothed inner thigh, you can feel the warmth and wetness through your slacks. It takes all of your self-control to not inhale sharply when he starts trailing open-mouthed kisses up your thigh until his mouth is hovering right above your cunt. 
You press the muzzle of your gun against his temple. 
He smiles. 
Your jaw clenches as he licks a long stripe between your legs through your slacks, making sure to press his tongue down hard over where your clit is hidden through your clothes. Akutagawa is still talking, oblivious to what’s happening beneath your desk as he airs his complaints about the mission. You could stop Dazai, place your foot on his shoulder and push him off of you, but you don’t, notably—you don’t want to acknowledge that though. You only vaguely hear Akutagawa’s issues, something about interference from a third party—the SDUP? What the hell were they doing there?— and Kajii blowing up an escape route. 
“Give me the report,” you say, cutting him off mid-sentence, and holding out your hand. You’re grateful that your voice comes out steadier than you feel with Dazai trying to tongue fuck your through your pants. 
As you lean forward to rip the papers from Akutagawa, you tense, feeling something sharp press against your inner thigh. Sitting back in your seat and glancing down, your eyes cut down to Dazai, who still has the knife you’d thrown at him and is using it to cut open your very expensive slacks.
You have half a mind to drive your foot into his face, but you refrain. If only barely.
It’s a miracle that you can keep your breath steady, because as Dazai cuts your pants, he kisses every inch of open skin that’s revealed to him. His lips are warm, wet, familiar—so familiar that your legs are instinctively spreading for him, giving him more room to work.
Your eyes scan the report but the words are just jumbled letters and not making any sense. Every time you try to understand, you feel Dazai’s teeth graze your thigh as he marks up your skin. You tense when you feel him bring the knife much closer to your cunt, to finish cutting off the material—you press the muzzle of your gun harder into the side of his head, warning him to be careful. You glance down only to see a hazy smile on his lips as he winks up at you, as if he’s drunk just off of the idea of what’s about to happen.
He works efficiently as always, freeing your lower body of your slacks and panties as quickly as possible, and he wastes no time burying his face between your legs. Your lashes flutter and the grip you have on your pen tightens dangerously, you think it might snap. Dazai’s tongue slides between your folds, lapping up the slick that had begun to pool—you know that if Akutagawa wasn’t sitting a few feet away, Dazai would be making a snide comment about how he knew you wanted him.
Dazai’s tongue flicks over your clit—you can feel him staring up at you, watching for every little reaction, the way your lip tightens as you bite back moans, the way your eyelids unconsciously start to slide shut, the way your breath is just a bit heavier than it usually is. 
This is so dangerous, you think to yourself desperately. If Akutagawa of all people figures out that Dazai is here-
You nearly choke when Dazai shifts a bit underneath the desk to kneel at a better angle, grateful that Akutagawa seems to be too busy wallowing in his own mistakes to notice your struggle. Your gaze  snaps down again, his eyes have fluttered shut as he buries his face deep into your cunt, nose pressed to your clit as he pushes his tongue into your hole and you can feel the way he lets out a silent, but shaky breath, barely holding back a moan.
You notice his free hand slide from where it was propped on your thigh down to his beige pants, fingers fumbling with the button as he desperately tries to slip his hand beneath his waistband to touch himself. You kick his wrist hard, using your foot to pin it against the side of your desk, watching him wince and withdraw his hand, looking up at you with those big brown eyes you can never say no to. 
God, he’s pathetic, his lashes are wet and his cheeks are flushed, eyes glossed over with pleasure as he looks up at you and you know you’ll let go of his wrist if he looks at you like that any longer, so you turn your gaze back up to Akutagawa, who’s staring at his lap and waiting for you to finish the report.
“Get out,” you tell him, voice sharper than you intended. Akutagawa’s eyes snap up to you, brows furrowed in confusion. “Go, I’ll handle this.”
“But-”
“Your job is to take orders, not question them,” you bite out, watching frustration flash across the boy’s face as he rises to his feet. You’re not usually this harsh with the kid, but you’re not sure how much longer you’re going to last and Akutagawa cannot be in here when you cum. You can feel the heat pooling in your stomach and that familiar hazy feeling clouding your mind. “Out, Akutagawa.”
Akutagawa inhales sharply but nods, turning stiffly on his heel to leave your office. As soon as the door to your office clicks shut, Dazai is pushing the chair backwards until the back of it hits the windows behind you, shifting into a more comfortable position as he resumes fucking you with his tongue in earnest. 
He moans into you, wanton and shameless, any restraint he had because of Akutagawa’s presence is long gone. While he was careful to not make noise before, now the sloppy sound of his tongue dragging in and out of your cunt drowns out any other noise in your office, he sucks and slurps, he’s so disgusting, like he can’t get enough of the taste of you, a man who’s been starved for years.
The knife clatters to the ground as he reaches up with both hands to grab your thighs, sliding them over his shoulders so he can push his tongue even deeper inside of you. Only sheer pride drives you to push away the creeping fog as Dazai’s tongue slides back up between your folds to draw figure eights around your clit.
“I should pull the fucking trigger, pulling this shit when he was in here,” you spit out, head falling back as a breathy noise escapes your parted lips when Dazai sucks gently at your clit. He moans again, as if the idea itself turns him on—it probably does, he’s always talked about wanting to die between your thighs. “You’re a fucking freak, Dazai.” 
He lets out a puff of air, you can’t tell if it's a laugh or another moan, maybe a mixture of both, but he’s too focused on drowning in your cunt to respond. Four years without him and you’ve forgotten just how good Dazai is with his tongue, working your body as easily as he did when the two of you were eighteen and seeking each other out before meetings and between missions for a quick fuck. You hate it—you hate that he’s treating you as if nothing has changed and you hate even more that your body is this responsive to him. 
Betrayal, you think, your own body betrays you for him. Again.
“Fuck,” you gasp the word out when Dazai rolls your clit between his teeth gently, sending a jolt through your body that throws you off just enough for that fog you’ve been fighting off to finally win. You choke over a moan, head pressed back against your desk chair, forearm coming up to press against your forehead as your eyes slide shut. Your free hand finally finds its place in his hair, tightening around his dark locks, he lets out a whimper against you, tongue flicking over your clit. “Like that. Just like that.”
You can hardly keep your head on straight as he traces letters around the sensitive bud, you try to figure out what he’s spelling but you’re too far gone. Your head is light and your chest is heaving. You’re barely able to bite back moans as your thighs tighten around his head, hips rocking against his face. You don’t even know if he can breathe, you don’t think you care, so close to the edge that your entire body is tingling and trembling; you don’t think he cares either from the way he’s moaning into you.
It takes one last suck, one last swirl around your clit, and you’re crying out his name, spots dotting your vision as your grip on his hair tightens, pushing his face impossibly deeper into you as you grind your hips against his face. God, it feels never-ending, a noise too close to a sob nearly escapes your lips as Dazai ardently laps up all of your cum, not letting a single drop go to waste. You can’t remember the last time you’ve cum this hard—with him, probably, you realize bitterly. None of the one-night stands you’ve had over the past few years have ever compared to him.
You’re still reeling even as you force yourself to straighten in your seat, not willing to let him know just how badly you’re thrown off by how intense your orgasm was. Your head is still spinning, vision still blurring, but you lift your leg and press your foot to Dazai’s shoulder, kicking him back and forcing him out from his position between your thighs. 
He grunts, looking thoroughly disgruntled as he falls back on his ass, pouting up at you as he tries to catch his breath. He looks debauched, lips swollen and wet, your cum smeared on the lower half of his face. His cock is straining against his beige pants and his eyes are still glazed over; he’s looking up at you with an expression that’s nothing short of reverent. 
God, he’s gorgeous. 
You hate him. 
You’ve missed him. 
You shift in your seat and Dazai is lifting himself to his knees, immediately leaning closer, a hazy smile on his lips as he angles his face up and pointedly parts his lips, sticking his tongue out. You know what he wants and the heat that had been slowly dissipating returns with a vengeance, breath catching as you look down at him.
“You’re gross,” you tell him, watching the corner of his lips quirk up even as he keeps his tongue out and waiting.
You don’t deny him. You never can. 
You shift forward, rising to your feet and reaching out to grab his chin, angling your face down. Your grip is too tight, it’ll leave bruises behind and you think that’s the least he deserves so you only tighten it a bit more as you lean over him. You don’t give him what he wants, not right away, letting the saliva gather on your tongue as you observe him, the way his pupils are blown wide and his chest is hardly rising and falling, as if he can’t even let himself breathe in anticipation.
Disgusting, you think again, but it’s fond this time, much to your displeasure.
You decide to put him out of his misery, letting the spit dribble from your mouth down to his. His eyes roll back as soon as it hits his tongue, and your hand slides from his chin to curl around his neck—not tight, just firm enough to feel the way his throat bobs as he swallows.
He lets out a shaky breath, eyes fluttering back open as he looks up at you, entirely blissed out. Your hand slides down more, curling around the ugly bolo tie he’s wearing in place of the black one you’re used to. You tug it hard, beckoning him to his feet; he acquiesces, albeit on shaky legs. 
Immediately, his hands find your hips as he pushes you against your desk, spinning you around to face it before his hand presses between your shoulder blades, pushing you down to bend you over it. Your eyes widen at the sudden change in demeanor, something you’ll never be able to get used to no matter how many times you fuck him; it always caught you off guard back then, it still catches you off guard now. He pulls off the remnants of your destroyed slacks and immediately is grinding his bulge against your ass, a low moan spilling from his lips. 
“How many people have you been with?” he suddenly asks, and you can hear him fumbling to unbutton his own pants. There’s an edge to his voice that you don’t like—something caught between jealousy and possessiveness, and you nearly want to scoff at it.
“What the fuck, Dazai?” you spit out, appalled and not expecting the question. “None of your damn business.” 
You turn your head to the side to rest your cheek on the desk, looking back at him from the corner of your eye. His eyes are still a bit hazy but there’s a tight expression on his face, reminiscent of the one that would be directed toward you whenever he stumbled in on you entertaining anyone other than him years ago. 
“Humor me,” he says, voice cold and eerily familiar. If you weren’t looking at him and if you couldn’t see the tan coat and bolo tie, you’d think you were talking to Dazai Osamu, Port Mafia Executive, and not Dazai Osamu, Detective. 
“A lot,” you finally tell him, feeling the way he stiffens behind you. “I don’t keep count. You?” 
You think he has some nerve asking when he’s probably slept around t-
“None.”
“Bullshit,” you snarl immediately. “How many? Don’t fucking lie to me, Dazai.”
“None,” he says again, gaze lifting from your back to meet yours, his eyes are dark—too dark, too still. Maybe he hasn’t changed as much as you assumed, because the way your chest swells with a confusing mixture of fear and arousal is far too familiar. “You’re the only one allowed to touch me.”
His gaze drags back down, with his pants unbuttoned, he lifts his free hand to caress the swell of your ass, a contemplative expression on his face as he stares down at you, his other hand still pinning you down to your desk. If your heart wasn’t thudding in your ears from sheer anticipation, you’d be irate over the fact that you were letting Dazai Osamu fuck you over your own desk in your own office, but you can’t bring yourself to care now.
“They never made you feel like this.” It’s a statement, not a question, and you want to scoff at his arrogance, but you can’t because he’s right. “They don’t know your body like I do.”
This time you do scoff. “You don’t know shit, Dazai. It’s been four years.”
Dazai’s eyes flicker back up to you, the way his lips curve up into a smile is dangerous.
“No?” he questions. 
A challenge. You never back down from one, not from him. 
“No.”
His smile sharpens.
“I know that after you cum for the first time,” he murmurs, rolling his hips forward. You bite back a moan when you feel the tip of his cock slip between your folds. “The second time comes right after.”
True to his words, your jaw falls slack and your entire body seizes as Dazai thrusts into you, splitting you right open on his cock. The moan he lets out is pornographic, and you wish you could see the way his head falls back and his eyes roll into his skull, but your own vision is white and you’re choking over a sob as you feel the familiar stretch of his cock against your walls.
“There you are.” Dazai has the nerve to let out a breathless laugh and another groan as he stills with his hips flush to your ass, feeling your walls spasm around him as you cum just from the feeling of him pushing inside of you. The hand he has placed between your shoulder blades slides up to curl around your throat. With a firm grip, he pulls you up so only your thighs are pressed against the edge of your desk, back flush to his chest as you gasp, reeling from the suddenness of your second orgasm. You can feel him smile as he nudges his nose against the side of your head, lips pressed to your ear. “The third time takes a bit after the second, but I’ll fuck you through it. Maybe a fourth too.”
“Dazai,” you gasp, eyes blown wide as your head falls back against his shoulder. You don’t know what you’re trying to say, maybe hold on, or wait, because you know you’ll embarrass yourself if he doesn’t give you a second to recover.
He hums in response, and the slow rolls of his hips, the drag of his cock against your walls, it has your head in the clouds, body trembling. Your lips part to speak but no words leave them, and right when you think you can finally force the words out, Dazai draws his hips back and snaps them back against yours hard. Your lips part in a silent moan, only the hand around your throat and the one pressed to your lower belly holds you up as Dazai fucks you at a brutal pace. 
His face drops to the crook of your neck, he moans into your skin, teeth scraping hard as he kisses recklessly up and down every available inch. He’s going to leave marks, you realize, and that’s dangerous now that you’re back in Yokohama because you don’t need any of the other executives to get suspicious, but even if you wanted to tell him not to, you don’t think you’d be able to. Whatever little coherency you had left in your thought process does not translate when you try to speak, the only things leaving your lips being shaky moans and gasps of Dazai’s name.
“Made for me,” Dazai groans. His grip on your throat tightens just enough to make the air you breathe in shallow, your head feels light and you’re not sure if it’s because of his grip or if it’s the feeling of his cock bullying so deep into you that you can feel his tip pressing up against your cervix. “Waited so many years for this, feels even better than I remember, pussy’s made for me, isn’t it?”
Dazai babbles into your ear as he fucks you, tongue just as filthy and unbridled as the day he left. Shameless. He’s so shameless. Doesn’t even care that anyone could walk into your office and catch the two of you; doesn’t care that if anyone does, he’ll end up executed. He’s fucking you in a building full of people that want him dead and all he cares about is how your cunt feels wrapped around his cock.
Your breath hitches as Dazai shifts you to bend over just a little more, still keeping your back flush to his chest but fucking you at a new angle—one that nearly sends you spiraling over the edge for a third time. 
“Gonna give me your third now?” he pants. His hand on your lower stomach slips down, lithe fingers dipping between your folds to search for your clit—your back arches against him when he finds it, a sob spilling from your lips, vision swimming with tears. Dazai laughs again, this one is strained, catching over a moan as your walls convulse around him. “Oh, fuck. Fuck, you’re so tight.” 
Unconsciously, his grip on your throat tightens, cutting off even more air. You can hardly breathe, you can hardly think—each thrust of his hips has your head spinning, ripping the little air you can inhale right out of your lungs. The tip of his cock rubs against that spongy spot inside of you every time he snaps his hips against yours, the quick circles he rubs on your clit are electrifying. 
Your cheeks are wet, breath ragged, vision spotty. One last thrust, one last circle, and you’re wrecked, sobbing out his name as your legs give out, only held up by the way he has your thighs pinned to your desk and his hand on your neck. You cum all over his cock so hard that you think you black out for a second, your mind fuzzy and pins and needles pricking all over your body.
Dazai doesn’t stop. He fucks you through your third orgasm, relishing in the way your body twitches and trembles, too sensitive for his touch. 
“Your fourth will come quick,” he gasps. His pace is erratic now, chasing his own release. Your ears are ringing, heartbeat thudding in your ears, the wet, sloppy sound of his cock driving in and out of you resounding through your office. “I don’t think I’ll last for five. Shit, shit, I’m close.”
You have to force yourself to move. You want to see him when he finishes. Your hand wraps around his wrist, nails digging into his skin to try to get his attention. It takes all of your will power to push the two words from your lips: “Flip me.”
He does. Without any sort of hesitation, his hand drops from your throat to your waist. His cock slips out of you for a split second and your cunt aches at the loss, but Dazai is immediately pushing himself back into you as he hoists you up by the thighs, sitting you down on your desk and wrapping your legs around his waist. 
Even through your blurry vision, Dazai is a fucking sight. His dark hair is matted to his forehead, pink lips swollen and wet, cheeks flushed. His eyes glazed over and half rolled back as he chases his high. God, he’s stunning. You’ve missed him. You’ve missed him.
You’re not thinking as you lift your hand to cup his cheek, sliding around to the back of his head to pull his face down to yours, moving on pure instinct. You drag him down to press your lips against his and Dazai is gone. The moment your lips touch his, he’s moaning into your mouth, hips stuttering against you as he spills his cum deep inside of you, and he’s right, because the moment you feel his cum filling you up, warm and thick, so much of it that you can feel it dribbling around his cock, the stickiness smearing against your thighs and ruining your desk, you’re pushed over the edge for the fourth time.
This one is weaker than the rest, not a single noise escapes you but your jaw goes slack and Dazai whimpers into your mouth when he feels your walls tightening around him again. But he takes advantage of your pliancy, pushing you back gently so that your back is flush to your desk. He follows you down, keeping his chest pressed to yours as he maps out your mouth with his tongue. He rolls his hips against yours, slow and deep, fucking his cum deeper into you as the two of you slowly come down from your highs. He slants his lips against yours to deepen the kiss, hand coming up to cup your cheek, his other sliding up and down one of your thighs. 
It’s too intimate. You tell yourself that you only let it happen because you’re reeling from overstimulation but you know it's a lie.
You don’t even know how long you stay in that position with him. It could only be a few seconds, a few minutes, it could’ve been an hour for all you know, laying on your desk with him pressed on top of you, kissing you so passionately that it makes your head spin as much as the orgasms did. 
Finally, you press your hand against his shoulder, signaling for him to get off of you. He does, albeit with a reluctant sigh. You stare up at the ceiling as Dazai shakily rebuttons his pants, making his way over to the closet where you still keep your spare clothes from when you have to stay over at the office to work. 
What did you do?
You’re hyper aware of how swollen your lips are, of the marks littering your neck, of the cum dribbling out of your cunt, staining your desk. 
If anyone finds out about this-
You don’t get to finish the thought, because Dazai comes back over to you. Neither of you speak as he takes a tissue to clean up his cum from your thighs and as it dribbles out of you, nor do you speak when he shifts you into a sitting position, helping you pull on a new pair of panties and a new pair of slacks.
He stands in front of you, dozens of indecipherable emotions rocketing across his face as his dark eyes search your expression for something. You don’t know what, and you don’t even want to look at him but you can’t draw your gaze away from him.
After what feels like forever, he finally speaks.
“I missed you,” he says, voice hoarse as he lifts a hand to cup your cheek. 
You turn away from his touch, ignoring the hurt that flashes through his eyes. 
“Why don’t you believe me? You think four years has changed how I feel about you? I thought you knew me better than that.”
“It’s been four years,” you say, and you hate that your voice wavers a bit. You blame it on still being hazy after your orgasm but you know it’s a weak excuse. You hate that he still has this effect on you after all these years. You hate that you always give into him, and you hate that you know you’ll never get enough of him. You want to hate him, but you can’t. “Knowing how to fuck me isn’t the same as knowing me as a person. I barely know you anymore. You barely know me. And it’s not like you were open with how you felt four years ago. So, forgive me if it’s a bit hard to believe, Dazai.”
“You wear the same perfume. You still shoot with your non-dominant hand for some god forsaken reason. Your lips still twitch whenever you get annoyed even though you do your best to stop it. You-”
“Stop.”
“You still talk to me like you hate me even though your eyes are all soft and you’re leaning in toward me.” Dazai doesn’t stop, and to your horror, he’s right—you had begun to lean in to him instinctively as he spoke. You try to shift away from him, but he follows, fingers grazing your cheek, chest brushing yours. You don’t pull away this time. “I still wear the same cologne you bought me for Christmas because it reminds me of you—I spent two months trying to figure out where you bought it when it first ran out. I don’t carry a gun around as often, but when I do, I still try to do that stupid flipping trick you tried to teach me when we were seventeen—I still can’t do it, almost shot myself in the knee last time I tried.”
The laugh he lets out at the last sentence is hollow. He hesitates, as if he wants to continue but isn’t sure if he should. You can feel his blunt nails scraping gently against your skin, his palm warm against your cheek. You want to pull away but you’ve missed him, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise, and you find yourself sinking into his touch. You’ve always questioned why Mori sent you away for so long, angry because you figured he thought you were weak when it comes to Dazai and he didn’t want to risk anything. 
Only a few days back in Yokohama, and you’re already proving him right.
“I’m not the same person,” you tell him, something desperate edges at your tone. Desperate to convince him, or yourself, you’re not sure.
“I still love you,” he rasps, voice quiet as if he’s scared to admit it even to himself, and your heart is suddenly lodged in your throat as you stare up at him with wide eyes, the words he refused to tell you back when you were teens ringing through your head over and over again. “I’ve always loved you. Thought about you every day. I missed you so much.”
“I should hate you,” you say, swallowing thickly, unshed tears blurring your vision. “You didn’t even say goodbye. When Mori said you defected in the middle of a mission, I laughed in his face. Not because I didn’t think you’d never betray the Port Mafia, but because I didn’t think you’d ever leave me without saying anything.”
“If I said goodbye to you, I never would have left,” Dazai tells you quietly, the admission echoing in your years. “And I had to leave. I had to.”
“I should hate you,” you repeat, voice a bit weaker now, and you feel pathetic for falling apart like this in front of him. But it’s Dazai, he’s always had this effect over you. You suppose some things haven’t changed, because that certainly hasn’t. 
“I know,” he murmurs. 
You inhale deeply, shaking your head as you push yourself off your desk and straighten out your clothes, trying to get your head back on straight. You should’ve known better than to think you’d be able to come back to Yokohama and pretend that Dazai Osamu didn’t exist, for better or for worse, the two of you would always find your way back to each other. Mori was right to send you away, although you suppose the man is rarely wrong anyway.
Dazai doesn’t say anything, watching you with an unreadable expression as you search through the ruined piles of paper on your desk for the report that Akutagawa had handed you. Your eye twitches when you realize that it’s stained, realizing that you’re going to have to rewrite the whole thing because you can’t submit a cum-stained report to Mori.
Dazai snorts behind you, as if realizing your predicament. The look you give him is lethal, he silences himself quickly. 
“Don’t get yourself killed on the way out,” you tell him, grabbing your black jacket off your chair and swinging it over your shoulders as you look back at him. “If you make it out of here alive, I’ll see you at my apartment later. Then we can talk.”
His face twists. “What? Wait, don’t leave me here,” he panics, nearly tripping over his feet and your desk chair to follow after you. “Help me sneak out.”
“You got in here yourself,” you say dismissively. “Get out yourself.”
The noise he lets out is pathetic. “You do hate me,” he accuses. 
“No, I could never,” you admit quietly. His expression softens a bit, but you give him a sharp smile. “But I’m definitely not going to make things easy for you. Akutagawa is still out here prowling around. So is Chuuya, actually. Said he’d be at the office all night today. Good luck, you’re gonna need it.”
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