#everyone treats her so so awfully. she has no one! she keeps reconnecting with her mother because she truly has no one she can trust

[neverfruit]

Actually my real thoughts on six feet under is that Nate is an awful person. David is such a classic progressive gay character 2001 style (which means it's genuinely kinda bad in some areas but it's the thought that counts) and that's Claire and Brenda are my favorites which I wouldn't have guessed season one but I truly love them and I think they deserve the world.

Also Russell was raped. Like the show does not take that stance and it really blames him but that's not on him. It was very much rape and I think everyone should have been much kinder to him about that

[calypsoff]

One. Part 3

I am slightly drunk and Robyn is still texting me, I really didn’t think she would be texting me like this but she is. I didn’t think she would have such time for me like that, I am shocked and grateful. Also I feel myself drifting off to sleep, I have had such an eventful day, I was not ready to hear such things from Robyn, I wasn’t prepared for her to even say she remembers me but she did and I swear it makes me want to shed a tear to think she does and the way she is here just messaging me like we some stupid teenagers, I don’t even have to lock my phone. This is how quickly she is messaging me back, but it’s a dangerous game when I am drunk. Drunk Chris does and says things sober Chris doesn’t, but I am slighty aware of what I am doing so that is a good thing. My phone pinged in my hand, smiling at her message.

Twin:

You’re not that special! I text everyone in the club 🤚🏿🤚🏿🤚🏿

Chris:

You’re stood in the club responding to me. Shouldn’t you be dancing with your man? 👀👀

Twin:

Doing both at the same time 💃🏽

Chris:

There is only one of us you’re ‘doing’ 🤔

Twin:

Christoff.....

Chris:

Elsa.....

Twin:

🤣🤣🤣🤣 you’re annoying! Nigga go to sleep then cause I’m sure you cried you had work!?

Chris:

Then I heard your song photographs? You got some questions that you need to answer 😳

Twin:

I didn’t go to the club 😕😕 I’m in the hotel on my own actually, what question is that? First answer what you got me under? Name wise

Chris:

Twin 😌 was going to go with Barbadian cherry but I decided against it

Twin:

Barbadian cherry loll you’re actually so very annoying but you’re also twin on my phone too.

My phone starting ringing as I just finished reading that message, reading the name Twin. She is calling me, she knows I am awake and I don’t know why I’m just here doing this, answering the call “you’re very efficient, I give you that” I said down the phone “efficient? I’ve never been called that before, I didn’t go to no club. My mind wasn’t in it, I just was you know..” she dragged out, she sounds so sweet on the phone but it’s a dangerous game, I am tipsy and like she is there on the phone “thinking about me?” I laughed “now why would I be thinking of you? I am tired actually” she is such a liar “tired of running through my mind? Oh my god that sounded so much better in my mind, that was so bad!” I spat laughing, that was so very horrible to say “you should be ashamed of yourself to say that” rubbing my eye groaning out, I am so ashamed of myself “man, I am wack don’t mind me but tell me, I listened to the song. It’s me, what you mean by those words? The word love, how did I hurt you?” I would like to know how I even did that to her “I think it’s hard to just say it over the phone, like I am not shy about things in life like I was when I was fifteen, I still sit here and think when I stopped you from us having sex I just freaked out I guess but I just want to speak to you in person” pulling a face “but love?” It’s crazy “don’t you think that?” She said, I fell awfully silent “love is when you care for someone, love is when you never forget someone, love is when things never change even though it’s been years. Love is..” I dragged out “when you don’t forget the person that made you happy” which I haven’t “meet me” she blurted out “Rihanna? Please stop harassing me” she snorted laughing “but what about Robyn?” I smirked “I’m drunk, well slightly. I do have work at seven, not a lie. Suppose if you can meet me before then sure, actually I’m being awkward, sorry” I apologised because I am being very awkward with her “don’t be, I just. I finally got you back and I am sad it ended that way, we have so much to speak on. It’s hard but I can come to you?” Shaking my head, I feel bad I am being awkward. Telling her to come to me “erm, I can pull up near your hotel and you just jump in? That if it’s ok with you? I won’t be drunk by then; I mean I am not drunk but a little tipsy” that can work “I don’t mind coming to you?” I grinned “how you going to do that coconut head? I got you, but it’s late so I’m going to sleep, is that ok?” She seems way too attached to me, I like it though “of course, see you in the morning” I don’t know why but we both laughed, this is annoying “goodnight” she had me giggling, this can’t be it.

I said I was going to sleep; well I can’t sleep and I’m wide awake. I’m just laid here with my eyes open; I did close my eyes to try and attempt to sleep but that is not working out. My mind is just racing, I mean usually a blunt and booze does the trick but not today. My phone buzzed, lifting my head up and grabbing my phone from the side. Squinting my eyes seeing Twin, she has text me and it’s like five in the morning. My phone unlocked from face recognition.

Twin:

Is it just me cause I can’t sleep? 🤦🏾‍♀️

I let out a low chuckle, she’s not wrong because I can’t sleep either. That is weird, we both can’t be like this.

Chris:

It’s just you 👻

Twin:

Then who is texting!?

Chris:

ASAP 👀

Twin:

You goofy 🖕🏿.

Why she tripping because that is her man, oh wait he could be in bed with her. My phone pinged again, she is texting fast.

Twin:

I feel so giddy 😥

Chris:

Message me your hotel! I’ll come 🚗

I mean I have got questions so why not; I can’t sleep, and neither can she. Getting out of bed, I can drive, but then again she will be sitting in a second hand car, but I don’t care, I don’t think she does either. She seems too hype about wanting to see me, it feels like we never even lost contact. I think because it’s been so long we have missed a lot of each other, she’s really made me ever so excited. I feel like a teenager all over again with her, but we will see what’s up before she goes, I can’t sleep and she can’t sleep so why not.

Robyn is taking her time coming out, I am about to drive off if she doesn’t come any minute now. Hearing a tug at my car door handle, looking to the side and then seeing Robyn slap my car window, reaching to the side and pressing the button to wind down the window, Robyn bought her head down “it’s cold, let me in” I snorted laughing “what is with you and lowered snapbacks, you near broke my window” unlocking my car door, she was quick to open the door and get in, putting the window up as she got in “I got my uniform on, don’t mind me” slight shame came over me but I don’t care for it, this is me “cute, blue suits you” licking my lips smiling “since you took forever, I need to get breakfast before I go, you want something? I’m treating?” Looking over at her “yeah” her voice squeaked, she is giving me real heart eyes “how you come out without anyone knowing? I mean you are babysat” I drove off slowly “I told Mel, and for her to keep it on the low. I’ll be back quick, then Rich overheard, and he walked me to the car, he was concerned. I don’t want the commotion, not when he was asleep just next door” raising an eyebrow “your boyfriend, don’t be shy now” I feel I’m getting confident with her “what about your girlfriend, didn’t mention that one right?” I snorted laughing; she is funny.

Stopping outside the window waiting for the breakfast “don’t ever say I didn’t treat you, my broke ass bought you breakfast” reaching out of the car window, grabbing Robyn’ iced latte “is this nice?” holding out the drink to her “it is thank you” grabbing my drink as the lady passed me my water “can you pull around for me, we will bring it to you..” she dragged out and lowered her head “is that you Rihanna!?” she spat “that” I pointed at Robyn “I been telling you to stop copying her tattoos, it’s just my sister. She likes to copy her” I drove off smiling, feeling Robyn’ hand hit my shoulder “what? I mean what did you want me to say” shaking my head, she is always unimpressed. Parking around the corner and putting my car in park “ain’t your man going to think where you at?” looking over at Robyn “Mel will make something up, it’s fine. I will be probably back before then” I grinned nodding my head as we both just stared at each other which made us laugh “you’re stupid” I had to say it, shifting in my seat “be quiet, why couldn’t you sleep?” rubbing my cheek “because I was hype, could say I was happy. You know, you just reconnect with someone. Also I been thinking that song is more telling then you put on, I am a little shook by it. So yeah, I was just thinking. Again I want answers, be like be truthful with me, it’s me. We good you know” moving back from the window as the lady came over with our food.

Passing Robyn’ drink back “that is the nastiest thing to have, the fuck!?” Robyn chuckled “thank you for paying for my breakfast though, you didn’t need too but you did” putting my head back against the headrest “I have to take you back now, you know. Nigga got to work; it’s been good. The old days but with one waffle and a fork” I laughed shaking my head “did you love me?” I just said it, I don’t want us to be sat here and not say it, we don’t have the time and we wasted so much of that. Staring ahead of me, not even looking at Robyn because I may just put her off or we just start laughing like we do. Her silence made me drag my eyes to her, slyly looking at her “did?” she spoke, lifting my head forward “I didn’t know what love is, we didn’t know what love is. We were young but to me, for me to remember you the way I do. The way we were falling, I can say that you are the love that got away and it did kill me to know you wasn’t there” that makes it understandable “so you felt hurt? Because in the song you mention about hurt, I don’t remember hurting you” Robyn is actually shy, like she is getting red “I did feel hurt, because I was so infatuated with what you would have been, I always thought like what is he doing, what does he look like and seeing you again you have bought that back up. And you make me feel so normal, I love that about you. I just think we have so much to just catch up on” that is wild “it’s a sticky situation” I laughed nervously “you got me giggling and shit, I am happy. I feel like me again, I just feel like I failed, but I just erm, I see you as Robyn. Like Rihanna who? Yeah, I am going to be real, like you know me. I am real, I am on team no sleep but to remember that person after all these years, it’s love. I think we had something so special but it’s a sticky situation, we are very much at different points in our lives, but” I sighed out “you got my number, I got yours. I mean I always need answers from you, I think we missed out on a lot, being teenagers I guess” it’s a hard situation I think anyways.

“Look at us speaking like adults, but you have always spoke real with me Chris. I love that about you” biting on my bottom lip smiling “love? You love saying that word love, love this, love that” Robyn and I both laughed, she rested her hand on my shoulder “you are annoying, I love to love now be quiet” Robyn rested her head on my shoulder “you always been touchy with me, you Barbadian women” Robyn moved back from me “how many have you had!?” she questioned “nearly one but that got away” putting my car engine on “I am just so happy we have reconnected Chris, you do not understand. I love Mel but I felt you was missing from the equation, you just always were there to keep me grounded, always hyping me up. I feel also like I let you down with things” shaking my head “stop it, don’t think that, it’s life” I winked at her “but we will link up again, when I get the time and if you’re still here in US. Work is busy, trying to pay off my mom and stuff, it’s like I’m starting off again” I am not ashamed to speak on normal work with Robyn, I am just that comfortable with her “it’s never too late, but I will wait for you. So we can meet up, how did you meet your girlfriend?” I smirked “uhm, my friend calls her Psycho but I came out of Jail, that following week I went out and she asked me out, she’s good people. A little on the slow side, she wants to like make home with me, I am just trying to be me. I’m trying to have my space. Let’s make a truce, not mention our partners? I think it’s better but since you asked, what about your boyfriend? Gives better hugs then me?” Robyn side eyed me “didn’t ask for the question back but we hung out a lot and we just thought let’s try it out but from him being my friend and now my boyfriend, he’s not what I assumed. He’s better a friend, like I feel I am an accessory to him. He likes his fair girls. And he says that. He mentioned that my nose was too wide, he said it was a joke but still. I think he’s a good vibe, not a good boyfriend or lover” she dragged out “you’re beautiful Robyn, the world is yours. And some ugly nigga like that don’t tell you different, you dump him and move on, you have the world in your hands. What I tell you about that, he seems weird to me anyways” he lucky to have Robyn, what kind of shit is this “I know twin” Robyn drifted off saying.

[quickspinner]

Second Chance - Ch 4 Pay the Piper

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Luka groaned into his pillow as his alarm rang shrilly. He’d rather sleep for a few more hours, but he knew he had to get up. He hadn’t meant to stay up half the night working on a new song, just like he hadn’t meant to ditch his dream girl for it practically mid-makeout, but he had and now he had to get his ass out of bed and deal with the consequences.  

He managed to lever himself up enough to look at his phone and found that not only had he overslept, Lucille had texted and she was on her way over to talk to him. Which meant he really needed to get out of bed, like, now. He buried his face back into the pillow. 

There was a knock on his bedroom door. “Luka?” Marinette called uncertainly. “I know you didn’t want me to wake you, but that’s the third time your alarm has gone off. Are you okay?”

He smiled, and rolled over. “‘M fine,” he called roughly, and cleared his throat. “Just lazy. I’m getting up now. Lucille’s coming over, by the way.”

“Oh, sorry, I’ll move my things.”

“No, it’s good, we’ll use the studio for whatever she wants to talk about. Just let her in if she gets here before I’m out, please.”

“Okay, sure.” He heard her footsteps recede, and reluctantly dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom.

Luka showered and dressed as quickly as he could, though his brain was still moving at half speed at best. He really needed coffee. He frowned as he opened the door of his bedroom. He recognized Lucille’s voice and brisk tone, but something bothered him about it. He walked out towards the living room, catching the tail end of his assistant’s cold, calculated speech.

“Mr. Couffaine is very busy, and I’m sure you both had a delightful time, but it’s time to go. I can call a cab to take you anywhere you need to be.” 

Luka suddenly realized exactly what conclusion she’d jumped to and what she’d thought she needed to do about it. As much as the words Juleka was right pained him, he maybe should have told Lucille about Marinette before now.  

“But I—” Marinette began in a small voice, and Luka snapped out of his morning stupor as if he’d been doused in cold water.

“Lucille.” Luka’s voice was steel and both women cringed. Any other time he would have winced at the echoes in the small space from his too-loud reprimand, but at the moment he was pissed.  Controlling his temper as best he could, he crossed the living room and took his assistant by the arm.   

“Please excuse us for a moment, Marinette,” he said, propelling Lucille back to the entryway. Marinette might still hear them, but at least he wouldn’t be tearing into his assistant in front of her.

He kept his voice low but hard as he spoke to her. “Lucille, you’re a fantastic assistant and I appreciate everything you do. I don’t want to lose you but if you ever speak to a guest in my house like that again I will fire you on the spot, are we clear?”  

“Y-y-yes sir,” she said breathlessly, eyes widening. “I’m sorry, I thought she was just—“

Luka cut her off. “Even if she was ‘just’ I wouldn’t tolerate it. Understand? I know other clients expected you to handle things for them but as my representative I expect you to treat everyone you meet with a minimum level of respect, especially when you are in my house.”  

“Of course, sir, you’re absolutely right,” Lucille whispered, looking at the floor. Luka put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. 

“Okay. Now stop calling me sir, it gives me hives. I’m sorry I didn’t think to tell you about Marinette, I’m not exactly at my best this morning. She’s been my friend for years and she needed a quiet place to work on a project, so I offered to let her work here this week whenever she needed to. Now go on in my studio, Lu, I’ll be with you in a few minutes and we can go over whatever you needed to talk about.”

Lucille nodded and fled back across the living room and through the double doors, closing them behind her. Luka sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, turning back to where Marinette still sat rigid on his couch. He went to her and took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. “I’m really sorry about that. Lucille’s worked with a couple other artists before me and she’s—“ He cleared his throat. “Well, let’s just say some of her previous clients bought in a little too hard to the rock star stereotype, and getting rid of one night stands was part of her job. I’m not what she’s used to, I don’t really have people over, and I guess when she found you here so early she jumped to conclusions. I’ve had all our dates blocked off my calendar as private so she didn’t realize I was seeing somebody. You, I mean, I’m just seeing you.”

Marinette relaxed slightly, and Luka tilted his head at her. “You didn’t—did you really think I would—“

“No!” Marinette flapped her hands wildly. “I mean—yes? Sort of? I mean I didn’t figure you were bringing random people home every night but you’re talented and famous and hot, and well, I thought...things happen?”

Luka took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not sure how he felt about that. “I mean, I’ve had a few relationships, but honestly, sex is too much work to bother with if it’s not with someone I care about. I just don’t care for one-night stands, and if I did I certainly wouldn’t delegate my assistant to kick them out afterwards.” His brow creased. “Honestly, I think I’m kind of offended that you think I would. It’s just not my style and I guess I assumed you would know that.” 

Marinette winced. “Of course I do. I’m sorry, I just—she caught me off guard and I—I’m really sorry, I’m stupid, of course you wouldn’t.” 

Luka sighed through his nose. “Lucille should be composed by now, I better go see what she wanted to talk about. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Marinette smiled at him. “I just wasn’t expecting that and she didn’t give me a chance to explain.”

“It’s my fault, I’ve kind of been keeping you to myself. Juleka told me I needed to tell her but I just...I don’t know, I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone yet. I’ll introduce you once she’s had a chance to calm down, she’s really got a good heart. I’m sure she’ll warm up to you when she’s done being embarrassed about the mistake.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll check in with you again before I leave for the day, okay?” 

Marinette nodded, and smiled at him, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “I made coffee if you want some. You look like you were up late.”

“You’re a goddess,” he sighed, leaning forward to rest his head on her shoulder for a moment. “Thanks for understanding, Marinette. About this morning, and last night.” He kissed her lightly and went to find the coffee.

He handed a cup to Lucille as he kicked the study doors shut behind him. “Sorry it’s a mess, I know we usually talk in the living room but Marinette has all her stuff in there and I don’t want to make her move. Have a seat.” He cleared off a stool in the small room for Lucille, but she didn’t sit down.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions,” she said softly, looking into her coffee cup. “I should’ve known better, but...” She took a deep breath, and then continued quickly, “I wanted to talk to you today because you just seem awfully distracted lately. It’s not like you to be so spacey, and you’ve been cancelling things a lot, and now you’re suddenly bringing girls home and that’s not like you at all—“

“A girl. One.” Luka corrected, looking at her over the rim of his coffee cup.   

“It doesn’t matter,” Lucille waved him off. “I’m just saying, I’ve been worried. If you’re feeling overworked I can start spacing things out more. It won’t do any good to anyone if you burn out, and I’ve seen artists do some pretty crazy things when the strain starts to get to them. I don’t want that to be you.”

Luka smiled. “Thanks for worrying about me. I’m fine, Lu, really. Never been better, really, creatively or personally, but I would like to make some changes so I can have a little more time for a personal life if you catch my drift.” The look she gave him clearly said that she didn’t. “I’m—” He coughed and set his coffee down, suddenly inexplicably embarrassed. “Marinette and I, like I said, we’ve been friends for years, and since we’ve reconnected—well, we’re seeing each other and it’s only been a few weeks, but it could get serious pretty quickly. I’d like to have a little more time to spend with her before we go back on tour,” he finished, hating that he blushed like a schoolboy as he said it. He was a grown man, he ought to be able to admit he liked a girl without looking like a tomato.

“Oh.” Lucille frowned, and her stance shifted from the stiff posture she’d held since he came into something more like her normal air of slightly exasperated competence. “I wish you’d told me, Luka, it may be the off season but the press will catch on sooner rather than later and I need to be prepared. You should have told me you had a girlfriend right away. We need to agree on a response to any press questions, and we probably should get a security detail set up for her too.”

Luka frowned. “Do you think that’s necessary?”

“In my experience it is. One night stands and groupies are one thing but a steady girlfriend is a threat to the more extreme fans. And you’ve seen how little respect the press has for personal boundaries.”

Luka groaned and put his face in his hands. “I didn’t even think about that,” he muttered.

“Which is why you need to tell me these things,” Lucille said briskly, and despite her annoyance Luka’s shoulders relaxed, because just like that, they were back to normal. “It’s my job to think about it for you.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Sorry, Lu. Sorry for blowing up at you too. You’re right, I should have told you about Marinette earlier. I guess I was just…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lucille rolled her eyes. “Artists. You’re disgusting when you fall in love. I can’t believe you’ve been blowing off your responsibilities to chase a girl.” Luka winced, but Lucille just grinned wickedly. “Thank God, I thought something was really wrong. You’re sensitive and the lifestyle will eat you alive if you let it.” Her expression softened slightly. “So please keep me informed. It’s my job to help you.”  

Luka smiled, then sighed and hung his head. “Okay, I get it. Thanks for worrying about me, Lu. I’ll introduce you properly, and we can talk about some of these things if Marinette has time. But first, tell me what you think about this.” He reached out for the notebook he’d left on top of the amp and handed it to her. He picked up his guitar, playing the melody he’d worked out last night.

“This is new?” Lucille said, adjusting her glasses as she examined his scribbled notes.

“Been working on it all night.” He played it again, this time singing the chorus from his notes along with it. Luka peeked up at Lucille and smiled. He’d worked with her long enough to recognize the repressed excitement in her face. “It’s not finished, obviously,” he added, “I’ve only got lyrics for the chorus and I haven’t even had time to run it by Rose yet. What do you think?”

“I think this isn’t quite enough to earn you forgiveness for ditching work to cozy up with your secret girlfriend,” Lucille said crisply, and then smiled. “But if you keep working on it, it could be.”

Luka chuckled. “I hope Marinette thinks so too,” he murmured, playing the melody again. 

***

“It was nice to meet you, Marinette, I’m sorry again for jumping to conclusions.” Lucille shook Marinette’s hand and then turned towards Luka. “We’ll discuss your schedule after your recording time today,” she told him firmly. “I’ll go get the car. If you’re not in the lobby in five minutes, I’ll make you regret it.”  

“Thanks Lucille, I’ll see you in a few,” Luka chuckled. He closed the door behind her and turned to Marinette. 

“Which one of you is the boss again?” Marinette giggled.

“Oh I’m the boss,” he grinned. “But Lucille’s the one in charge. Well, I guess I have to go. I hope I didn’t interrupt too much of your work time this morning.”

“I made enough progress yesterday that it’s okay, but I do need to get back to work myself,” Marinette said, tugging on the lapel of his jacket. “So you better make good use of those five minutes.”

Luka leaned in and kissed her, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “Will you stay for dinner tonight too? We can order in so you don’t have to spend time cooking.” 

“I’m spending dinner groveling for your sisters’ forgiveness,” Marinette wrinkled her nose at him playfully. “You’ll be all alone with your music tonight. I wouldn’t want to distract you.”

“You’re not a distraction, you’re an inspiration.” He kissed her again, and this time she returned it, leaning in and slipping her arms around his neck. “I won’t see you until tomorrow, then? You can always come by after dinner, you know I’ll be up.”

“Maybe, but I’m neither a rock star nor a vampire, so I’ll need to be getting back and getting some sleep.” Marinette sighed. “So kiss me like you mean it, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Like I mean it, huh?” Luka checked his phone. “Three minutes left,” he observed, winding his arms around her waist as he leaned in. “I can work with that.”

Two and a half minutes later he pulled back, smiling at the dazed expression she turned up at him. He kissed her cheek, made sure she was steady on her weak knees, and hightailed it to the elevator, grinning like a loon. 

He smiled again when he got home that night, even though Marinette wasn’t there. Her things were all over the place in the living room and kitchen. 

 ***

The first thing he did in the morning was brush his teeth. The second thing he did was to find Marinette, already working, chattering on the phone as she tapped a pencil on one of her sketchbooks. Luka leaned over the back of the couch and nuzzled her cheek, chuckling when she jumped and tried to shoo him away. He waited there until Marinette was off the phone, let her turn around and scold him, and then leaned in to kiss her over the back of the sofa. 

“Jerk,” she muttered, before getting up on her knees to face him and slide her arms around his neck. 

“I waited until you were off the phone,” he protested, sliding his hands up her back. “How’d it go with Jules last night?”

“It was tense at first,” she admitted. “We talked it out, aired a lot of really, really old feelings. We both made some apologies and...I think we’re good now.” 

“Good,” Luka sighed, slumping a little in relief. “Is she okay with us now?” 

“Mmm...I wouldn’t go so far as to say we have her blessing, exactly,” Marinette sighed. “Honestly I think she thinks I still don’t deserve a second chance with you. But I think she’s willing to wait and see what happens as long as you’re happy.” 

“I can live with that,” Luka smiled, squeezing her. “Thanks for talking to her, Marinette.” He tried to kiss her, but she put her hand over his mouth. 

“Oh no,” she told him. “Shave first. I have a strict no-stubble policy. I don’t enjoy kissing sandpaper.”

“Fair,” he chuckled against her hand. “It’s my day to go get yelled at by my trainer, so I’ll deal with all that when I get back. Then I can kiss you?”

“Luka,” she groaned, burying her face in his neck, “I’m working.”   

“You can still work after I kiss you.”

“Do you know how long it took me to get back to work after you left yesterday?” Marinette demanded, and there was nothing remotely like regret or apology in Luka’s grin. Marinette narrowed her eyes and got nose to nose with him. “Don’t get smug with me, Couffaine, we both know I can make things very hard for you and that might make your gym trip a little awkward.”

Luka laughed and dropped his face into her shoulder. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you making jokes like that.” 

“Who’s joking?”

“Do you just want me for my body, Marinette?”

All the teasing went out of her expression and he had to swallow hard at the look in her eyes. “No,” she said softly, “I don’t just want you for your body, Luka.”

There was that feeling again, like a suddenly missing stair in the middle of a staircase he’d walked down a hundred times. Luka leaned his forehead against hers, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek. For a moment they just stood silent, breathing each other’s air. He kept expecting reality to set in, for something to tip him off that this fantasy world he was living in had to give way at some point. He kept expecting to feel the shock of the ground and instead he just kept falling.

The phone in his pocket shrilled, and Luka sighed, pulling away. “That’s my ‘quit staring into your coffee and move’ alarm, so I really need to go. I’ll be home afterward, Lucille blocked out my afternoon to work on new music, so I’ll see you when I get back.” He smiled, rubbing his thumb along her cheek. “I promise I’ll let you work, though.”

Marinette smiled and leaned precariously over the back of the couch to kiss his nose. “Bye Luka.” Then she turned around and flopped back down on the couch with a sigh. 

It was a great week. Marinette brought color and clutter and brightness back into his life, and it felt like home. At the same time, she was organized and considerate, careful not to let her chaos overflow into his working space. He felt her presence down to his bones; Marinette brought a creative energy he hadn’t felt since he and Juleka had moved off of their mother’s boat. Anarka wasn’t always the easiest person to live with, but she was an artist in her own way, and always had a frenetic creative drive that Luka hadn’t realized he’d been missing. Even away from home, he found himself jotting down song notes in the margins of his meeting agendas, and he took to carrying his guitar wherever he went, and every little gap in his schedule saw him sitting in some quiet corner, trying different chord progressions and muttering to himself. 

Seeing that he was caught up in a creative surge, Lucille worked some of her special kind of magic, swapping out some of his less urgent business meetings to work more composition time into his schedule. For him, that meant more time when he could just be at home and work while Marinette worked, testing out his melodies and watching through the open door of his studio as Marinette rehearsed her presentation or spun around the room with fabric samples to see how they moved, sometimes humming along with the melodies he kept playing over and over.

To his utter relief, Juleka stopped needling him, other than occasionally teasing him for his distraction. Neither Marinette nor Juleka would give him the details of what they had talked about, and Rose had just shrugged and shaken her head when he asked her. Marinette told him not to worry his pretty head about it, and Juleka was a lot less polite than either. Luka pouted a bit, just for appearances, but as long as his girls were getting along again, he didn’t much care about the details. He did buy Rose’s favorite chocolates as an apology for having to put up with Juleka’s grouchiness the past few weeks. 

When he showed Juleka what he’d been working on, she just smiled and gave him a few words of encouragement. “Your last passion project went platinum,” she told him, when he complained at the lack of feedback. “You don’t need me, just let it flow.”

It was true; for the first few years, he hadn’t had a lot of input on the songs he performed. The label brought him demos to pick and choose from, but it wasn’t until he had been producing hits on the regular that he was finally able to go to his producers with an album proposal and say, “This is what I want to do.” After that album, Regret Nothing, had been so successful (it had been voted best breakup album of the year by Teen Rock, which he’d found endlessly amusing since there was no actual breakup involved), he’d had a lot more creative control over the music he played. Anarka had, surprisingly enough, been his biggest collaborator on that album, and he’d spent several nights on the Liberty when it was in town, passing a guitar back and forth and talking through old feelings, both his and hers.  

It was a bit of a cold shock to come home one night to find Marinette’s things cleaned up, and Marinette herself sitting on the couch with a small carton of ice cream, looking triumphant. Luka hung his keys on the rack and his coat in the closet and came to sit beside her. 

“So, do I take it from the absence of paper all over my living room that some milestone has been reached?” 

“Yes,” Marinette declared, offering him a spoonful of ice cream, which he accepted. “I’ve gotten the hard part done over the last few days, all the writing and outlining and instructions, so starting on Monday I’ll be working with the team at Gabriel to actually start producing the looks for the presentation show. I hereby return your apartment to you.” She held up his key. “No more tiptoeing around your own home.”

Luka took the key and set it on the end table a little reluctantly. “I really didn’t mind it.” He stole the spoon and took another bite of her ice cream.

“Mmm, I know, because you’re awesome that way,” she said comfortably, leaning her head on his shoulder before snatching the spoon back. “You’ve been a lifesaver this week, I can’t thank you enough.”

“No thanks needed. I was happy to help. It actually felt really good, having someone else around. You know, growing up on the boat, not even having my own room really, you’d think I’d be glad for the space, but most of the time it feels empty. I liked having you here.” He liked it a lot, actually. He kind of hated the idea of her being gone. He put his arm around her and tugged her closer against him.

“I did too,” she admitted. “And I’ll probably drive Alya crazy humming all these half-finished songs you’ve been playing all week. Did you decide what to call that piece from this morning? That riff was killer.”

“Lightning on the water,” he told her. “Rose and I did some brainstorming earlier, I think I can work with it.” 

Marinette nodded thoughtfully. “That works, I can see it.” She giggled. “Was that a pun? Lightning? Brainstorming?”

Luka chuckled. “Unintentional, I promise.” He accepted another spoonful of ice cream, and asked, “So what happens now?”

“Now, I go to Gabriel on Monday and they’ll assign me a team and a workspace, and we make these happen.” She indicated her stack of sketches.   

“So you’ll be busy for a while, huh?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, setting the ice cream on the coffee table and turning to face him. “Yeah, I will be. I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to me.”

“Please don’t say that,” Marinette sighed, sitting back away from him and picking up the ice cream again.  

“I’m sorry,” Luka frowned. He reached for her, catching her hand and tugging lightly. “Is this something we need to talk about?”

“Probably,” Marinette said morosely. 

“I’m listening.”

Marinette took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “It’s...hard to explain. It’s not just one thing, but...I’m busy, Luka. I’m always going to be busy, it’s who I am.”

“Okay.”

“And the people that I dated before, they were busy too. And always there were sacrifices we had to make, things we had to cancel, just—other things we had to deal with. And one of us would always say ‘I’ll make it up to you’ and sometimes it happened and sometimes it didn’t, but...I just started to really hate it.” She looked up at Luka, face earnest. “Why do we have to keep this giant running ledger about who owes who? Things happen, things will always be happening, can’t we just...I don’t know, roll with it? I don’t want the stress of constantly figuring out just how big I screwed up and what would be an equivalent apology gesture, when really it wasn’t that I screwed up at all, life just happened like it always does.” 

She dug viciously into the ice cream, glancing up at him as he thought through what she was saying.

"Okay,” he said finally. “I...think I get it, sort of.”

Marinette sighed. “I can give you an example, but it’s going to involve Adrien, because it was the most obvious with him.” 

“That’s okay,” Luka shrugged. “Don’t feel like you’re not allowed to talk about that, Marinette.” 

She nodded. “Adrien’s dad booked him for a fashion show on my birthday,” Marinette began. “And I know Adrien tried to get out of it, but it just wasn’t optional in his father’s eyes. And it was fine, I was a little sad, but it really wasn’t any big deal. I told him we could celebrate my birthday some other day, just the two of us.” She sighed. “He swore up and down he would make it up to me and he would give me the best late birthday dinner anybody every had. And then he went completely overboard. Everything his romantic little heart could think of. He must have spent a fortune.” 

“And you hated it?”

“I didn’t hate it,” Marinette shrugged. “But I didn’t love it either. I didn’t enjoy it so much that I forgot that he wasn’t there on my actual birthday. So it...kind of seemed like a waste? And I felt horrible that he went to so much trouble and spent so much money and really all I could think was that I would much rather have had him singing happy birthday off key with my parents while they brought out a cake big enough for fifteen people in a room that only held six or seven. I mean, that’s the thing, right, we can’t ever get back those moments, and trying to make another moment twice as good to make up for it, it’s…”  

“Exhausting?” Luka suggested.

“Yes!” Marinette cried. “I mean, if he had done all that stuff for any other reason than because he felt guilty for missing my birthday, I would have enjoyed it way more.” 

“I get it,” Luka took the forgotten ice cream from her hand and set it back on the coffee table. “Come here.” Marinette looked at him, and then, a little reluctantly, slid over into his arms. “So if I’m hearing you right, what you really want me to say is, I accept that you’re going to be busy next week, and I can’t wait until we can be together again.” 

She smiled at him. “And I accept that sometimes you have to work when the inspiration comes, and I’m okay with waiting until you can devote your full attention to me, even though I might be disappointed in the moment.”

“Got it,” Luka smiled, flipping a strand of her hair. “Glad we’re clear.”

Marinette giggled. “So if I kiss you now, are you going to jump up and run off on me again?” she teased.

“No promises,” he grinned. “You’re awfully inspiring.”

“I try.” She nuzzled his neck and kissed it with her cold mouth, making him shiver. “Wasn’t exactly the kind of inspiration I was going for though.”

He sighed. “You’re going to kill me, you know that right?”

Marinette frowned and sat back on the couch. “Too much? I’m just teasing, I don’t mean to pressure you.” 

“I know. I can take it, as long as we’re clear that’s not where this is going tonight.” Luka smiled. “But that absolutely doesn’t mean I want you to leave. Come back over here and kiss me, Marinette.” 

She slid back into his arms and Luka gathered her to him, and despite her teasing, when she kissed him it was soft and tender and unhurried. There was passion in it, the press of her soft body did things to his, the trail of her fingers over his skin and the feel of her silken steel muscles under his hands made his heart pound and his breath catch, but the feelings that threatened to overwhelm him weren’t coming from his body.  Luka tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her closer, deeper, and let her push him down onto the cushions. 

Marinette pulled back suddenly, and Luka blinked hazily up at her. “Are you okay?” she asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re only using one hand.” 

Luka bit his lip, feeling heat creep up his neck. “I’ve been playing a lot this week and my left hand is pretty roughed up from the guitar,” he admitted, flexing the fingers that rested on her jeans over her hip. “I mean, the calluses are always there, but—anyway, some girls don’t like it.” 

“Well I do,” she whispered huskily, plucking his hand off her hip and placing it against her face. “Touch me, Luka.” 

He did, stroking her cheek and down her jaw, and then down her neck to her collarbone. She arched into his touch and he pulled her back down into another kiss, both hands roaming over her face and neck and shoulders this time. She nearly purred when he ran his callused fingers along the back of her neck, surging against his mouth before breaking away. “Those girls are stupid,” she muttered, giving him no time reply before her mouth was against his again. “You make music with those hands. Idiots.”

Luka laughed into their kiss, and she giggled back at him. He cupped her face in both hands, and for a moment they just looked at each other.

In the back of his mind, he knew he had to hit the ground sometime. He couldn’t fall forever. 

He could feel himself bracing for impact even as he kissed her again.

[tartareus]

the way fiona is painfully touch starved and it not only shows but also affects her dynamics with the people in her life is just </3 i’m cry, here’s a little something that has been on my mind for a while....

for starters, in all her independence and selfishness, fiona is - deep ( and when i say deep i’m talking about centre of the earth kind of deep here folks), deep down - lonely and scared. now, different people react in different ways when in fear - some cower, others run; fiona is like a wounded beast, baring her teeth to anyone who gets too close when she’s licking her wounds.

her fear ( of aging, of dying, of losing cordelia, of losing her title, of never being respected nor loved again, it’s a long list even though she will never admit it ) does not incapacitate her, quite the opposite really. fiona's fear propels her to do something, forces to move forward even when against the tide.

i have yet to finish off my hcs about her parents but one thing i can point out now is that fiona did not get enough love growing up, much less displays of affection from her parents. while her mother was never an ounce as horrible as fiona herself was to cordelia, she certainly lacked at comforting fiona and making her feel safe. as to her father, always too busy at the hawthorne school to spare much of his attention on her, spoiled her rotten with gifts.

the family’s calico cat was probably the only companion for a long while - that is, in her early childhood before joining the academy - it’s not surprising that she grew up to be an individual who has one hell of a hard time showing affections; after her death of her mother, when she was taken to the academy to start her training and pretty much ever since that the only one she could truly trust and count on was herself and in her growing powers.

this is one of the many reasons why she does not like to be seen or touched ( no matter how kindly ) as if she were weak. it’s a big deal of pride mixed with uncertainty - of not being able to put her own safety at the hands of another, even if the other ( and, in this case, marie - who is pretty much the only one who even offers her any form of comfort/steady safe embrace even if only to keep her from collapsing ) is trying to help her.

she grew so used to using her looks, and touches as a way to seduce people to get what she wants that, when it comes to something  honest fiona finds herself at loss of how to go from there. take for instance the touches she exchanges with the axeman. they are sexual because obviously she is in a sexual relationship with him for a time.

while it is nothing rooted in love or genuinely romantic ( she fell in love with the idea of being in love and being, truly, loved in return; she likes the axeman, but she loves how he makes her feel more than she could ever care for him. it’s the adoration he gave her when she was at her lowest, the distraction from all the troubles and fears and, of course, the orgasms, she loved those too but we’re not going to hold that against her - considering she might have had those with only few of her partners in life, specially when one notes that she has majoritarily been with men. ) she still clinges to him, 

as she clinges to all others she tries to connect with - regardless the way she wants to do it, if it’s friendly, familial or romantic - in a way betraying her own mask of indiference to the ones around her for she doesn’t want them to leave her, dreads at the thought of being alone, even when she treats them badly - and she does, awfully a lot.

the fact that she constantly has a secret agenda alligned to touching is also something to note, it blurs even more the lines and ends up making whatever attempt to do so honestly fall flat. amongst other things, frustration comes to her often and then, of course, there’s aggresion ( not only in her own self destructive path of booze and drugs, even when she’s ill and fragile) also turned to others.

worst of all when it’s turned to her daughter, who shares a complicated bond with her. she loves her child, truly does so, but hates being a mother - always has. it never sat right with her and it never felt like these shoes belonged to her, like she deserved this. not to mention that, after delia’s birth it felt as if a part of fiona had just died, which pushed her even closed to the postpartum depression phase she went through, perhaps there was a plausible reason to why supremes usually never had kids, or perhaps it’s fiona’s fucked up ways that drove her to be such awful mother, whatever it is has left a mark not only on cordelia but on herself too.

when cordelia comes back from the hospital - after she and fiona had been trying to reconnect over drinks - fiona is seen clutching one of cordelia’s clothes, visibly anguished and, to her own surprise, in pain. it’s a similar pain she felt in the hospital, hours after hours in that uncomfortable chair waiting for delia return. it’s not just the physical pain of her disease eating her away that drives her to steal some painkillers, it’s the emotional pain of almost losing a child, part of herself in a way, that she never thought she loved that much - her mental state is alluded by the erratic flickering lights and her encounter with the young mother whose baby died shortly after the birth.

the pain she feels for her daughter is something secretive and reserved to moments of weakness where nobody is around to witness and she can convince herself that they were nothing but her illness making her soft. a passing thing. still, she tries approaching her daughter - even more so after the truth about hank’s cheating  is revealed - only to find out that by doing so she just might get her ass on the line. she recoils slightly, frowning and instantly regretting her moment of weakness and decides to avoid touching cordelia for her own self preservation within the coven.

fiona eventually leaves her, gingerly saying she’ll get delphine to help her daughter. her own words about cordelia ring on her ears: delia is a survivor.  we later see that fiona does not seem to be able to detach herself from the situation as much as she wanted to - if anything, the way she brought back that baby to life in the hospital and how she aids marie to keep the baby that was meant to papa ( of course with her own hidden agenda of wanting to offer a soul to him to get on his good side ), fiona’s own lack of touch when it comes to maternal matters does not stop her from wanting to avoid other kids from being abandoned. in both cases, by giving the change to keep the kids, fiona is giving another shot a motherhood - not directly, obviously, but it’s as close as it will ever get.

we eventually see that fiona begins to wear gloves to avoid unnecessary drama ( aka delia finding out even more of the dark shit she's been up to both lately and in the past ) and is visibly relieved once she finds cordelia’s sight restored - even if it had been myrtle, back from the stake no less, who had done it. in that fickle moment we can see the softness in her eyes and demeanour, as if she can breath again.

obviously, realising that she truly does care for her own child is nothing that redeems fiona, but it’s an interesting layer to her character - how conflicted she is with her own feelings. we get a slight glimpse that perhaps things were not so different with fiona and her own mother. later, when fiona finds out in horror what cordelia has done to herself to get her second sight back, the two share another heart to heart moment, but that obviously ends up going downhill (and fiona does note how odd her daughter acts at the time) when the sight is not only restored but shows glimpses of a possible future, one where fiona has killed them all.

including cordelia.

now, i do think part of the vision was reflecting cordelia’s own fear of her mother manifesting itself - zoe did end up dying in the very same way she did in the vision, but fiona had little to do with it. queenie herself, after fiona had just killed madison and beheaded the bastien/the minotaur, had her life saved by fiona.

even though fiona was under the impression that the next supreme was gone, using the vitalum vitalis to get queenie's soul back before it went to the afterlife was a risky move, considering that this wonder, unlike resurgence, uses the witch's very own life force. normally a supreme would not faint afterwards, but being with her own health and powers beginning wane, fiona feels the harsh effect of it a couple of minutes later, when she’s in her room and sends delphine away. she held herself against the wall to get there when she could have asked cordelia to help her or even delphine, and the way i see it that she didn’t ask for help for the very same reason why she declined marie’s steady embrace at first some time later:  fiona hates to be weak, to feel useless and powerless and, worst of all, to be seen in a weakened, fragile state. she wants to keep the image she has painted of herself ever since she rose to the throne: of being invincible and in control of everything and everyone. 

by being the biggest source of danger they have to worry about, she finds a way to protect them, or at least distract them, from the real danger that lies just outside their doors, a danger that only few of them would be able to handle: witch hunters.  because, let’s be honest even though fiona was a hazard in high heels to the coven, they were slightly safer with her on their side than against her.

while i honestly don’t think fiona was really up to kill all of them witches when she sent the axeman there to be killed there, i cannot claim she did it with pure intentions. sure, she did it to find the next supreme while she gathered strength to face her, whoever she might have been, but having a secret agenda doesn’t exclude the real thing here. she wanted out. out of the coven’s responsability of finding her replacement ( to her, it felt as if they were burying her before she had even died ) and out of the potentially dangerous relationship she had with the man.

which eventually proved to be a smart move (well, not for long though lmao) considering how the touches they exchanged were either sexual or violent, even though the little spit trick she did on him was nothing but false memories, there’s no denying that she knew his violent nature could get to her one day. she knew he was just as awful as she was.

perhaps worse than fiona, if that little hint of her knotty pine hell was anything to go by, she was going to spend the rest of eternity not in hellfire and damnation but with a former lover’s hands on her as she’s at the mercy of all his violence and lechery. while there’s something incredibly ironic about this awful situation. her hell seems, at first, his paradise but, the longer they stay like this, with her forgetting the previous days and only having him and dull aches on her body to warn her of whatever the hell has happened in the previous day, the faster he will realise she never loved him, and never will. he will be stuck with someone he loves but that could not love him back for the life of her. 

before all that happens though, we get to see fiona and cordelia meet one last time. even though it would never explain how awful she was, we get to see that to a big extent what fiona had wanted was to protect cordelia, keep her safe but, above anything else she wanted cordelia to be strong enough to stand on her own, to survive and bite back. which cordelia did, on her own and beautifully so. when she does grow a backbone, as she ascends as supreme that is, is when fiona feels at ease, as if her job ( the most important one, and the one she has forsaken for years ) is complete. cordelia no longer needs her, or myrtle or whatever maternal figure she can find. this time she hugs cordelia, clutches to her not as if her lie depended on it, but as if cordelia’s did. with her out of the picture, her daughter’s powers would fully bloom into what they should be once for all && fiona’s sorry for whoever dares to touch this coven again.

she’s not longer the scared little girl fiona dropped off at the academy decades ago, she’s the fucking supreme now. 

she can handle it.