#i should get a livejournal again lol

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

re: being unable to predict twow and maybe being upset it doesn't do what fandom wants it to, were there any things in adwd you remember being surprised by and that went against common fandom interpretation at the time? :3

I'm not quite sure what was common fandom interpretation at the time, since after I finished AFFC in 2005 I tried the westeros.org forums and was extremely repelled by them and their hate for my favorite characters - and indeed, most female characters - and avoided them thereafter. (And somehow I never thought to check the Livejournal communities at the time, alas, which would've been more up my alley.) I did devour worg's Citadel (their pre-wiki, including the So Spake Martin archive) and fanart collection though lol.

But of course I was still surprised by things in ADWD. Like, I had no expectation whatsoever that Bloodraven was still alive, let alone that he was the three-eyed crow. Or heck, that the children of the forest definitely exist and appear on page as actual characters! I did not expect a Varamyr prologue POV in the slightest, or his warg/skinchanger lore reveals. And I did not expect the Aegon reveal at all, though checking the SSMs afterwards (as well as this ancient pre-AFFC FAQ) showed me that some people had been wondering from day 1 if he had survived. And for that matter, Jon Connington's survival was surprising (at least my memory is very good, so the griffin thing and Tyrion's suspicions of him being a Westeros lord had me leaping back to Jaime's conversation with Ronnet), as well as Jon's POV (including his sexual orientation) and the greyscale thing. Oh man, the whole stone men scene was all new fascinating worldbuilding.

As for existing POVs and known plots, I certainly never expected Theon's state as Reek (tortured, yes, but not reduced to that, though I probably should have), or that he would be a POV again, or that I would find his narrative so heartwrenching or that he would become a favorite character. (From reading a bunch of pre-ADWD fanfics, I don't think the fandom expected Ramsay to be so abusive of Jeyne either, but for that I have no idea why.) I was surprised by Cersei's walk of shame, though I probably should have expected some sort of religion-based sexual humiliation. (Actually, I don't think most people expected the returning AFFC POVs because of the book split, though I'm glad GRRM chose to update us on some of its cliffhangers - like, at least Brienne is no longer hanging from a tree!) I did not expect Tyrion's POV and mental state to be so dark, but again, I probably should have. I also didn't expect him to link up with Jorah (I don't recall what I imagined Jorah to do in his exile but not that - maybe lurk around the fringes of Meereen?) or the slavery plot at all.

I think the fandom in general expected more... plot-advancement, I guess, more battles involving KL again, more movement of Dany towards Westeros, though they always have, lol. (There are ACOK-era theories that she'd come to Westeros right away, marry Robb and destroy the Lannisters together, etc.) I'm sure some expected Stannis conquering Winterfell and getting the Boltons out, though at least there they were mostly right, as the battle of ice (as well as the battle of fire) got cut from ADWD last minute. As for plot advancement expectations from me, I personally hoped that Marwyn would reach Dany in ADWD, though considering he leaves at the end of the last chapter of AFFC and the distances involved, I really should have known better. But I did expect to hear at least a little about Rickon, and Davos learning he's on Skagos (and getting sent to retrieve him) was a pleasant semi-resolution there.

Anyway, hope that helps! If/when we get TWOW, despite the fandom doing like 15 years of speculation and theories (not to mention the show), I'm sure there will be plenty of surprises, both positive ones and disappointments, as well as completely unexpected things.

[screamlet]

"old school" comfort fic recs

tagged by @liminalmemories21 and @rcmclachlan

What are your old school comfort fics? The ones from fandoms that haven't been active in yeeeaaars, but you've read so many times you can practically quote them.

big big BIG caveat: lol. these are not old school fandoms, as such, but the truly old school ones i grew up with died with livejournal and del.icio.us. however!!! all these fics are 5-10 (or more) years old and that's about as old school as my bookmarks get.

i don't have tumblr usernames for these authors, but if they're around let them know? or don't!

fandoms covered: bts, check please, hockey rpf [all archive locked], star trek (aos and rpf), and the untamed

---

BTS happy that we met each other (jinkook, @/fictionalmissp, @/pearlowrites)

Jungkook is trying to adjust to life after military service. Seokjin is dealing with his recent divorce and being a dad. Everyone is trying their best.

someday we'll know (rapline ot3, @/fadetomorrow)

Six years ago, Hoseok walked away from Big Hit and an opportunity to debut as part of an idol group. He's worked hard to build a name for himself halfway across the world when he and the people he left behind collide again.

rivers and roads (til i reach you) (namseok, @/undercoverjikooks)

Namjoon is a lonely, anxious businessman who finds comfort and peace in sex worker slash grocery store clerk Hoseok, who's convinced that he's only worth leaving.

Should Never Fall So Easily (namseok, @/murderoustannie)

It’s not that Namjoon sleep-walked into his relationship with Hoseok, exactly. Mostly because that would imply a total lack of pain and embarrassment, giving the whole ordeal a dream-like quality to it that Namjoon doesn’t think it deserves. But if you asked Namjoon how it happened, exactly, he would have a hard time pin-pointing it.

---

CHECK PLEASE! for all of the perfect things that i doubt (series) (kent parson centric, mostly kent parson/omc, @/idrilka)

and in that series: no lightning, just thunder (kent parson/omc)

At thirty-five, Kent wins his fourth Stanley Cup. Two months later, he retires from the NHL.

Lord, What a Difference a Day Makes (kent parson/alexei mashkov, @/coffeestars)

Kent time travels (he thinks; it’s either that or he’s gone off the deep end once and for all), gets married to some Russian guy built like a tree, acquires two children, one of whom isn’t even his, freaks out, and grows up. In that order.

---

HOCKEY RPF

double digging for the successful transplant of organic cultivars (michael latta/tom wilson, @/rest)

Tom likes working with his hands, but it is a solitary life. He would much prefer to be married. Leaving and settling elsewhere is his surest chance for having that. (aka "The Space Western Mail Order Bride AU")

love on a deposit of frozen pleistocene carbon (nicklas backstrom/alex ovechkin, @/saintsideways)

Sasha is the only person to have lasted more than a year at Wrest Island Arctic Research Station, except, of course, for Dr. Bäckström. Or: Sasha's head over heels, in a slightly more than figurative sense.

human resources (nicklas backstrom/alex ovechkin, @/babygotbackstrom)

Sasha knows he's going to marry the angel who works in the finance department.

i want to belong here (sidney crosby/evgeni malkin, @/cathedralhearts)

“Can I come to Russia with you?” Zhenya’s brain fritzes out for a second. “Sorry?” he asks, thinking he’s misheard. Years of pining can do that to a person -- make you believe that the object of your affections wants something more than they really do. Sid’s gone bright pink and is staring at the floor, so maybe it’s not pining-induced insanity. Sanja will be pleased.

the light through the windowpane (tyson barrie/gabe landeskog, @/underwaternow)

or, the one where Gabe and Tyson fall in love, break up, Gabe gets married, Tyson falls apart a little, they don't speak to each other for awhile, and then they finally make up. colloquially referred to as “sad fic” but there's very much a happy ending

Big Horny's Guide to Finding Love (and Then Some) for the Modern Man (erik johnson/nate mackinnon, @/venvephe)

ExtraJuicy 🍑🍑💦 Both sporty and spicy. Not a horse girl, but likes to ride. Have a sense of humor and we’ll see where it goes. “Is that Grindr?” Gabe gasps out, and EJ elbows him deftly in the side as several heads swivel in their direction. Fucking Gabe and his big forehead and bigger mouth. “Erik Robert Johnson, have you learned how to sext?”

---

STAR TREK (REBOOT) strive seek find yield (aka SPOCTORIA) (kirk/spock, @waldorph)

Spock is heir to the Federation throne, Jim is Prince of America because his fucking brother abdicated, and the Klingons are on the verge of blowing shit up--a love story.

---

STAR TREK (RPF) merry bachelors (chris pine/zachary quinto, @/therumjournals)

Ten years from now, Zach reads a promising script. (Aka Chris and Zach make a movie about Cary Grant and Randolph Scott)

chris, nicky, and the nanny (chris pine/zachary quinto, @/thedanveresque)

Chris hires a hipster manny for his son Nicky.

---

THE UNTAMED all the time in the world to get it right (series) (lwj/wwx, @/belle_abroad)

on a rainy morning wei ying, debut novelist, ducks into lan zhan's bookstore, the quiet room, and never leaves. (lan zhan's heart. he leaves the store, a couple of times.)

[cellsshapedlikestars]

"Ryan finally had a girlfriend that actually thought about him!!“ yes absolutely! I didn’t *hate* Marissa but I really disliked the Marissa/Ryan ship, they weren’t right together. Never even thought about it but it makes so much sense that you come from a The OC background.

The way you write modern Jon reminds me so much of Ryan (LOVE IT). So interesting that you tried to rework one of your existing fics into a Jonsa fic. I would honestly love a fic with some OC vibes. The only The OC Jonsa fic I’ve read was one where Sansa was put into Marissa‘s role and it did NOT fit. Thinking about it, Sandy and Kirsten Cohen definitely give off Ned and Cat vibes!

Also Happy Birthday!

I used to hate Marissa a lot, but I was younger then (it didn't help that the other people in my fandom vitriolically hated her lol). I can look back now and realize that Marissa was, unfortunately, the writer's favorite toy to create new drama, at the expense of her character.

And unlike almost every other character, she just wasn't fun for me (I will say, Seth sometimes bordered on too much for me, but usually he was fine). Like did Julie do terrible things? Sure, but oh boy when she showed up in a scene, I knew it would be a good time. I would rather watch her than Marissa any day of the week. Marissa would just suck the energy out of everything for me. But maybe that's a product of my old fandom, and I'd feel differently watching it now. I haven't rewatched in ages, tbh.

And I will say, I liked Marissa at the end of season 3! Because they were just wrapping up her character so she wasn't starting shit and she was actually just fun like she should've been the entire time. And they acknowledge that she & Ryan were toxic together, and better off as long distance friends. So when the time comes for her death, I'm actually sad!

I tried not to be too mean to Marissa in my fics... towards the end. Though I did write a one shot about her murdering Ryan lmaoooo. That's strictly on my livejournal... I think it's still there?

As for a Jonsa OC fic.... I've had one half written basically since I started writing fic again.

Ryan - Jon Trey - Aegon Sandy - Ned Kirsten - Cat Seth - Arya?

But there's where it sort of fails, because who is Sansa? Is SHE Seth? Where does she come in, unless I make her not related to the Cohen/Stark family. Or do I get rid of Kirsten/Cat, make her married to Jimmy/some other dude, and have Sansa as her daughter with Arya as Ned's?

Omg this got so long, but I'll include what I have written below the cut, which is literally just the opening scene, so don't get too excited lol.

The OC AU

They approach the car like it's prey, ducked down, creeping.

“I'm your big brother. If I don't teach you this, who will?" With that, Egg smashes out the window, the sound loud and echoing in the quiet alley. He opens the door and gets in, but Jon hesitates, looks over his shoulder towards the main road.

"Quit being a little bitch. Get in!"

And so Jon does, because he always does what Egg says. Just as he's about to get in the passenger side, it happens – a cop car rolls by on the main street, and Jon's heart lurches in his chest, but it passes.

And then it backs up.

“Come on!” Egg shouts, laughing and reckless. “Let's go, Jon!”

Jon slides into the passenger side and slams the door shut behind him, heart racing a mile a minute as Egg hotwires the car and gets it started, as the police cruiser turns down the alley.

And then they're off.

Down the street and out into the open, Egg pushing the throttle as hard as it can go, even on the small streets of Wintertown. Jon sits with one hand gripping the door handle, the other braced out in front of him on the dash.

“You should see your face, man,” Egg laughs, mouth wide, teeth glinting in the streetlights – sharp and dangerous. That same, reckless laughter Jon remembers from their father.

Sirens wail behind them and Jon knows this is it. This is where he finally dies, this is where everything catches up with him. At an intersection, Egg runs a red light, has to swerve to avoid an oncoming car.

“No, no, no, no,” Jon chants, shutting his eyes and bracing for impact. He doesn't know what they hit, just that he's thrown forward, the airbag slamming into his chest, the sound of crunching metal and squealing tires and sirens.

He feels groggy and weak as his eyes open, bright lights flashing and making him wince.

"Hands up! Get them up!" someone shouts. The police. "Hands on the dash where I can see them!"

For just a moment, Jon thinks about running. Pushing open the door, leaving Egg, and going as fast as his legs will take him. But his chest aches and his lungs burn and his head is spinning and so instead, he puts his hands up.

[overmore]

Thoughts on social media/websites I've recently used because why not

All personal thoughts, nothing too serious. Mostly made this cause I've been trying to use other places more than what I'm used to.

Bluesky

New kid on the block. Supposed to be the better version of Twitter, and that is technically true. Works pretty much the same way Twitter does but without ads and blue checkmarks. Has a proper blocking feature + a possibility to make block lists that works wonders if you want specific people away from you.

The thing I've had an issue with is getting my Discover feed to actually behave how I want it to. It is almost impossible for me to get things I care about on it, no matter how many times I click "not interested in this" on almost every post. There are also some missing features like no private accounts and group chats, but that should come by at some point, this is a new site in the end. Hopefully, those features will come soon.

Spacehey

A social media like myspace. Never had the chance to use it cause of my age, but I did try spacehey now. Had an acc for almost a year, but still don't know how I feel about it. Maybe because I'm not used to socials like these, I just don't know how to use it even after a while. It does have a nice feature for blogs and posts, also the bulletin is a neat feature that lets you post smth that will disappear after 1/5/10 days, depending on how long you set it.

Issues I have is the layout-making options are disabled atm. There was an issue in the past that made them have to disable it, so for months you haven't been able to make a new layout. The issue in question seems to have gone away, so there's no reason to not allow people to make them. So you either have to code a layout by yourself or use the ones there are and while there are a lot of them, maybe you'd like something new or even post your own but are now unable to.

The other problem is that the place is still very anti filled. Not a lot of anti-harassment people still sadly. The social media is still very small, so that's probably why and I have no idea if it will grow in any way, but for now, maybe not the best to just go there and add random people. I have met a few anti-harassment people, but that's still not enough for me to justify using the place actively. There are some nice people there who don't seem to involve themselves in discourse, but due to me being to cautious, I'm probably gonna avoid the place again for a while.

Dreamwidth

Site similar to LiveJournal. Same with last place, I've never used something like this before, but in this case, I'm actually getting nice use of it. It takes a bit to get used to it, but once you figure out how to search and find communities, it becomes nice. There are many communities related to events, some fandom-exclusive and some multifandom, many are low-pressure challenges too. It's also a neat blogging platform if you want it to be. You can organize stuff really well, but it can take a bit before you understand how to use it.

My main problem for a while was actually figuring everything out. Took a while before I understood how to make tags work the way I want and show in groups rather than randomly or by how many posts each had. Still a bit annoyed that I can't easily look at communities but have to go to my profile to find the one I want (this might just be a me thing, there's probably an easy way I just haven't found out yet). But beyond this, I go there every day and look at things. I've had fun there.

Neocities

Website for hosting your website for free. Like Geocities (there's a theme of people just reviving stuff from web1 here) You learn to code, or you use a layout and you go there to make your own website. The end. Lol. I like it a lot. It's fun to just have your own website and post your things there. It's nice if you still wanna be online but not have social media or just be less on it. It's fun to find random sites and see what people do there. A lot of them are personal, so you'll find thing about people's lives, what they create ect.

The main thing is that obviously, you gotta have some knowledge of coding. I know very little, but googling Dows the job when I'm lost on something or if I want to find a code. If you want to make your own code it will take a long while since it's not as easy as it seems (I struggle with making a decent looking layout. I can't make the same boxes be where I want them to be).

bearblog dev

This is a very new one for me, like 2 days new one. A simple blogging platform with some nice layouts. It's a very basic site, but it's useful if you want a strictly blogging platform. Do keep in mind that a lot of things, like posting images and more blogs, require to support the dev since there are no ads on the site. If you just wanna say words, it's nice to have it. I found this through neocities since some people there have used it for blogs rather than making a page on their site. It's neat.

---

All of these are without ads and free, though most of these have the possibility to support the sites on a monthly basis which gives you perks and keeps the site without ads.

If I ever try some more stuff, I will post again about it. It's very nice to find more places besides what people are used to.

[ageless-aislynn]

Back in the day, (around 2006 or so, I'd wager) I decided to try making a Bag End-inspired diorama display thing for my Lord of the Rings (and friends) figures out of plastic canvas and yarn. (No pattern, I was just winging it.) Here are some pics of how it turned out. 😉

The front with the famous round, green door. I also gave them some lattice-work windows and a couple of plant pots with greenery, just 'cause. 😉

Closer up on the door and one of the plants.

This is the wall that was beyond the window and plants, on the left side as looking in that orientation. I couldn't really do a hill without it looking weird so went with a tree motif on both sides.

The wall on the right of the door, this one with a "rope" swing, just for funsies!

Interior on the door.

Everybody needs a free standing closet to store your stuff in, right?

Yes, that's an Ian McKellen Magneto wearing Gandalf's hat and politely levitating his sword into the closet.😜

Behind the door standing open a bit is a coat closet.

I wanted a sort of marble inspired pattern. Plus, I really liked this variegated yarn so...

Everybody needs a table with a vase of roses on it! And yeah, that's a Nazgul wearing a tea ball strainer on his head. It was from a joke at the time. Also, we see our Hobbit guests putting their cloaks away in the closet.

Interior behind the big window. I thought of this as a combo kitchen/dining room area with a decorative rug.

Eomer CANNOT BELIEVE that we don't have his favorite brand of coffee! Storm thinks we should have a dance party. Boromir is heading over to lean on the fireplace mantel. 😉

Clearly Gandalf is HERE for a dance party! Oh and I do believe there might be a Boromir/Eowyn "leaning on the mantel" love connection going on back there? 👀👀👀😂

It's a little known fact that Darth Vader LOVES a nice tree swing! He even brought a droid friend, d'aww. That's my Xena poster on the wall in the background, btw. One of my most favorite Xena pics ever!

I also made Shadowfax, Gandalf's horse!

He can stand on his own. And yes, I made that fishbowl, including the Very Famous Fish Rear End on the side panel, lol! Nothing but UTTER ACCURACY around here, thank you very much. 😜

The chair was made from a kit. The cushion comes off and you can store things in the bottom box part. The mug of hot chocolate has marshmallows on top and also the rim raises up so you can store small things in it.

The flower vase was also from a kit. I famously got my hand stuck in it while doing the bottom stitch to finish attaching it to the base. I thought I might have to unstitch it a bit to get free but thankfully didn't have to. Absolutely no one who saw me with a plastic canvas vase stuck on my hand laughed. 😑🤣

(As well they should have. I laughed, too, once I got my hand out of there, lol!)

My mom loved lighthouses so I made her a day and night version. They're the same size but this was 2 separate pics edited together and the different angles made the night version look smaller.

Anyway, that's a few things I made back in the day. Nothing sophisticated but I just enjoyed playing around with it. The canvas got really hard to find for a while and then got very expensive once I located it again, so I stopped making things. 😢

Oh, almost forgot to add the pic that made me think to post these to begin with: Barbie with one of my ducks from my earthquake post.

I made a bunch of these little ducks for a project I never completed, then found them in a Ziploc bag the other day. Now there are little ducks all over the house, lol! 🦆💖

PS - I may have posted these pics before. I know I did on my Livejournal but couldn't find them on Tumblr. If this is the second time you're seeing them, though, apologies. Ais is old and the memory just ain't what she used to be. 😑😉

[zmediaoutlet]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged to do the do by @prince-of-elsinore, ty ty for thinking of me

How many works do you have on ao3?

211 (and elsewhere, maybe a dozen we don't talk about, bc they suck, on livejournal; maybe a couple dozen short pieces here on tumblr that have never migrated to ao3)

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,515,103

What fandoms do you write for?

Almost all Supernatural, but also some video game fandoms (FF, DA, maybe BG3 soon), MCU, etc. usual suspects.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. oh so good, oh so fine -- 993 kudos 2. there will be better days -- 846 kudos 3. see things so much clearer -- 621 kudos 4. into the flood again -- 602 kudos 5. side two, track one -- 558 kudos maybe someday we'll break 1000, lol

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely I do, and would find it rude not to. I know other people have all kinds of reasons they don't respond but I don't have any of those reasons, especially since I'm pathetically grateful every time someone bothers to say they liked something, lol. If anyone's even a tiny bit encouraged to become a repeat reader by the writer responding, I want to encourage that as much as possible. Plus, every once in a while, you can get a dece conversation going in the comments! Find a like-minded fan! That's worth any effort to compose a few sentences of thanks. The only comments I don't respond to are emoji strings or cut-and-paste 'another kudos here' comments, because they're not actually comments. (I appreciate the thought, but... I don't want them.)

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have had some beta friends who would argue about this one, lol. I guess the saddest is probably the hollow summer, since the whole plot is kind of hurt/no comfort. I don't believe in a successful boy king, let's say that.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again, probably depends on how you define 'happy'. glory days is probably the most cheerful; for me, the happy comes better with more experience behind it, so the thirty-third yard would maybe be my personal choice.

Do you get hate on fics?

nope; worst I ever got was some twerp who actually responded to someone else's comment, bitching that I didn't put the right peepee in the right poopyhole. But only one of those, ever, and safely ignored. idk, I don't attract that much.

Do you write smut?

...yes.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

only one, and it only sort of counts -- i heard love was blind, which is Cordell Walker/Dean Winchester, but of course the point is that Dean's getting the body of his brother by other means. I like crossovers but I usually want there to be a point beyond 'let's mash these two faves together and see what happens'; I'm more inclined toward doing a whole-universe fusion, e.g. fully placing characters with what you can salvage of their key backstory elements into a universe not their own... which I guess would also count as a crossover, wouldn't it. so I also did that with putting the Winchesters into the Dragon Age 2 plot, in whatever we were before. definitely 'crazier' than the first one here, lol.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think that's the kind of thing that happens on WattPad. Who cares.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a few.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried; it didn't work. Both people need to be contributing to the writing for it to really count as 'co-written'; nevertheless it's stuck with both author names on ao3 because I don't think there's a way to change that.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I think from context this should be clear. Although will also forever hold many small candles for the little guys.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

the aforementioned "co-written" fic, which was meant to be a huge series. The first fic is finished because I brute-forced my way through it, but there was a full five-season arc we were going to try to get through. Alas. The first one is decent, though, and works as a complete fic on its own: In a Cursed Hour.

What are your writing strengths?

voice, pacing, naturalism; characterization, though that can be argued in a fan-space

What are your writing weaknesses?

plot -- I find it intensely boring. Avoidance of plot then tends to flatten stories into similar non-arcs; I don't mind that, but it's a skill to exercise.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'll only do Spanish, and that's only because I studied it for eight years. Even then it's usually the wrong choice, unless it's a fully blended multilingual story (which most are not, and in the wrong hands it comes off as absurd); better to convey through the POV character either understanding it or not, and dealing with it in narrative instead of straight dialogue. Although a word or two here or there is nbd, clearly.

First fandom you wrote for?

Final Fantasy VIII

Favorite fic you've written?

well, questions, you got me, because I don't believe in favorites. at this moment in terms of writing skill I think the best might be asceticism, but in terms of one that sits in my head and fully just is canon, lol, it might be there will be better days, mentioned above. the only heaven fic I need. I guess that says something.

kind of interesting to look at the stats, if also stressful. let's get some other writers to be interested/stressed -- uhh @redmyeyes, @phynali, @hellhoundsprey, @stillwaterseas, @whiskeycherrypie

some shots in the dark :)

[delta-lethonomia]

Minor livejournal-style vent/depression rant under the cut, thoughts about trauma's effect on writing:

(No need for sympathy, just yelling into the void lol. Plenty of trigger warnings...)

Listening to: Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics

Man, I know it's just hormones + low-key depression, but my brain's in a real simmering "everything you work on sucks, you'll never have a career nor the respect of your peers, you'll probably get cancer too because why not, we all die, and you should start a fight with [husband] so he can go marry someone who actually financially contributes to the household instead of bringing a bucketload of family and personal trauma to the table" type vibe. Which-

-is such a braindead take??? What 🤌 The 🤌 Fuck 🤌 brain 🤌

I know it's the ~trauma response~ talking here with the desire to set my life on fire because clearly I've been too relaxed lately, but I'm not twenty anymore so stop👏 it 👏 ugh. I know better, but it's an endless fight until the last of that programming gets eradicated.

Anyway, the last time one of my parents died, I drank a bunch and then the pandemic hit 2 months later so that was nice, relaxing, and validating tbh. Unfortunately I also gained a bunch of weight I never managed to shake off afterwards so I'd rather not go that route again. Also someone I knew drank themselves to death at age 30? So uh. Unpleasant. 0/10, would not recommend. Don't do that.

Sigh. The solution, of course, is to take a fucking shower and then go for a walk & get some sunlight, but I really want to get this chapter finished... the chapter, of course, where my notes explicitly state "happy fun times! The calm before the storm! Show a version of what could be, if Tav and Astarion manage to stay together and not eat one another alive."

Hmm. Real shocker that I'm struggling with it. The draft is 4.5k and gets darker every time I poke at it. 🙄 Maybe that's the solution, throw narrative convention out the window and just write where my heart takes me, and if it leads to one of the worse endings then so be it. It's fun, too, because we haven't even hit the particular brand of bullshit that I have a lot of experience with that I know is gonna upset me lol (not cancer or death related, surprisingly enough. I contain ✨multitudes✨).

One of my favorite artists is going through hell with her own cancer, and the things she draws are incredibly fucked up and dark. I feel like there's definitely a link between personal trauma and turning that into art, so I guess it's not surprising per se that my mom's recent death is affecting the way I write FATWR, but it's just kind of sad that something I've invested so much time and effort into feels like it's become less a work of my conscious mind and more a reflection of the needs of my subconscious. That's the myth of the conscious mind for you, I guess.

Then again, art is meant to evoke emotion and help process it, so maybe going off the rails is the way forward regardless. What's the point of creating something that doesn't make me happy? So what if it ends up a few shades darker--it's already so fucking dark in the metanarrative of what's actually going on and where it's leading. Maybe some levity will organically arise elsewhere down the line...?

[breannastewart]

Previous writer anon here- full disclosure that I write for woso, which I somewhat scales with wbb in terms of popularity but I think has, for whatever reasons, a more old school fandom than wbb. I'm old enough to remember when rpf was exclusively the domain of locked livejournal communities and imo that's the level of lock and key it should still be under, but that mentality seems to have been lost in recent years. I have google alerts for a certain player that I also write fic about, and I cringe every time this website shows up in the results. I personally know for a fact that a very popular women's hockey player had to explain to her father what fic was when it showed up in his google alerts for her. I don't entirely know where I'm going with this but hopefully at least a little reassurance that there are some reasonable, privacy-minded people involved in writing too. I do my best to encourage younger writers to stay away from tumblr, keep their fics locked, etc. I hope there's similar voices in wbb. No one should have to see fic if they don't want to - it SHOULD be something you have to actively look for to find, especially with this level of relatively minor celebrity.

Sorry you're dealing with an outbreak of this stuff in your fandom. :\

I like you, writer anon, and appreciate your insights so much. I followed woso for a bit and knew of it there too but always tried to avoid it, though I will say there was definitely more of a respect level as far as I remember. many of those people just put ao3 links. perhaps it does come with age of fandom, idk. there is FOR SURE an influx of really young fans for wbb all of a sudden so I do think that's contributing to the lack of mindfulness about how easily accessible content like that is when you, well, make it that way. but yikes 😬would definitely suck if these wbb players had to explain that to family members or partners because a lot of the ones being written about suddenly are actually all married/in relationships. definitely what I meant by these people don't realize those posts go right into google search links/alerts. and I do think a lot of them probably think deleting it will get rid of that entirely. but hopefully, if this is what's going to stick around now with the WNBA fandom in particular, more respect minded people end up being the norm. the W has always been a small universe in reality and I do think it's much easier for the possibility of it reaching the subject of the content because of that, whereas I think it can get drowned out easier, like say with tv and movie stars. but you're right, you should have to actively look for it if that's the fandom content you want, rather than it just being out there in the open for literally anyone to be able to see.

thank you again for your insights, and maybe there will be someone who sees it and it all moves in a more respectful way, we'll see. but it's okay! I felt worse for that other anon because clearly they have their reasons why content like that is unsettling, but I'll still be here chugging along providing the content I do lol. come say hi again anytime :) have a good one!

[amtrak12]

I left 300+ comments on fics in 3 days

So the Seasons of Drabbles fic exchange just wrapped up its summer round, and I had a blast with it! I plan on making a wrap-up post about my experience as both a writer and a reader, but first I want to talk about how I read and commented on 338 drabbles (aka everything posted as of the day authors were revealed) in one weekend. 👀

Why

First of all, why the fuck did I read and comment on sooooo many drabbles? For multiple reasons:

I haven't received many comments on my most recent fic updates which has left me pretty bummed out

If I'm going to claim "Even a simple heart emoji goes a long way!" then I should practice what I preach

I was so excited/impatient for fic reveals that I skimmed through past rounds for fandoms I like and found a fic that didn't have any comments even 5 months later, not even from the giftee :(

So yeah, I was determined that every single fic posted to the summer round was getting a heart emoji and a kudos from me BARE MINIMUM! And if I'm kudos-ing and commenting, then I might as well read the fic too. What if it's really good? What if it's really sad and a heart emoji doesn't fit the tone? I need to know these things!

Methodology

I made a game plan. My baseline comment was a purple heart 💜 because that's my go to color. If I found something to quote, I quoted it. If it was angsty (or seemed angsty), I might do an 'Ooph!' before the heart, or even a broken heart emoji paired with a 'Good job!'. If someone did a series of drabbles and split the drabbles up into their own chapters, I switched up the color of the hearts for each chapter -- and yes I did comment on each chapter! As an author, I LOVE when I get comments along the way and not just at the end. And as a reader, it gave me extra space to quote or add commentary, if I had it (and sometimes I did!). Commenting on every chapter is 👍👍👍 Do recommend.

But did I actually READ every single one of these fics, you ask? Yes. Like 99% of them. There were a couple where I knew enough about the fandom to know I wanted nothing to do with that or where the series of drabbles was so long, that I was like "oh bestie, I can't do it. I'm so sorry :(" But I still skimmed those enough to grasp the tone of the fic so I could modify my heart emoji comment as needed.

Results

OMG it was so frickin fun! I mean, did my eyes start to bleed? Did I have to take breaks from reading because I caught myself skimming too much? Yes, of course. IT WAS 338 DRABBLES IN THREE DAYS! And not all of them were 100-300 words long. Some of those were 1-2k words! I should've taken more breaks than I did, but I really wanted to get all/the majority done before author reveals for arbitrary reasons only my brain knows (it won't even tell me you guys 😜) But even still, it was super super fun to see the huge variety of fics out there!

It's also been a blast to see the author replies roll in. Some replied before author reveals so they still showed anonymous. Most waited until after the reveals and I got to learn that WHOA, so-and-so wrote like 7 of those drabbles! *applauds* Sometimes they replied with a thank you, sometimes it was their own preferred heart emoji. It's so cute seeing how other people like to say thank you, because I know I've definitely settled into a 'style' when I reply to comments on my fics. 💜

Would I do it again?

I honestly don't know. It was exhausting burning through all those fics in such a short amount of time. Now this particular fic exchange is smaller and only runs four times a year, so give me three months and I can probably do it again no problem. But right now, I definitely need a break lol No regrets though!!

Highlights of my reading:

I learned Object and Concept Anthropomorphism is a category on AO3. 😲 Which on the one hand, shouldn't surprise me because I KNOW I read crack fic with anthropomorphism back on LiveJournal. But it still delighted me to see it pop up in this fic exchange. XD

On that note Chess Pieces (Anthropomorphic) is apparently popular enough to warrant it's own, individual, fandom tag. Incredible information to know!! I love that!

There's a user named DanceWithOrangutans and they seem to only request or write orangutan fiction or maybe Planet of the Apes fic if they feel like branching out. Truly an icon to end all icons! 🌟 They're my new favorite person and I look forward to reading lots of orangutan flash fiction in future rounds 💜

I have absolutely no idea what was going on in any of the anime fics but some of them were super adorable and fluffy 🥰

My absolute favorite thing was when people who actually know that fandom commented before me, so when I left my little heart, I would get to read them squeeing and crying and freaking out over how good the drabble was. :') They'd be like 'IT WAS SO IN CHARACTER!!! 😭' and I'd be like 'oh cool, the author nailed it! 😄' 10/10 experience

And to wrap things up...

Seasons of Drabbles: Summer Round Superlatives

Best Author's Note:

satisfy the desire of the afflicted by yesthisisnarumi (Dungeon Meshi, M, 300 words)

Hysterical author's note. Absolutely loved it. 😂

Most Baller Line:

birds of a feather by embraidery (Stardew Valley, T, 1100 words)

CAN IMAGINE WHERE A SMILE MIGHT GO???????? Are you fucking kidding me right now???????????? Brilliant work! A++ I'm still losing my mind about it!

I Don't Go Here But Holy Shit That's Good Writing:

recoil by Fleetling (The Man From U.N.C.L.E, T, 300 words)

The use of gun imagery to describe their relationship -- which from the one viewing of the trailer I saw years ago, seems pretty fitting for the movie -- just blew my mind. "voice cracking like gunfire" in the next paragraph? -- GOOD GOD! Again, don't even remotely go here, but damn this fic was really well written!

Best Username:

ECwrotethisforyou

You know what, yeah. You did write that, buddy! And you should remind everyone reading your fics that these are gifts! In or outside of a fic exchange. I approve! 👏

Best Story Structure:

If Comfy, Warm, and My Size, Why No Sit: A Meta-analysis of Research into the Warm Flat Rectangle by Dr Fluffy Jones by finerandbonnier (Original Work, G, 300 words)

YOU GUYS!!!!!!! If you have ever read a scientific paper for school or for funsies, you need to read this fic! It has FOOTNOTES! It has a BIBLIOGRAPHY in the end author's note! IT'S A FUCKING WORK OF GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!! 12/10 All the applause 🎉👏👏👏🌟

[terrainofheartfelt]

ooh, so i have a question: in a hypothetical au of your out of breath au where the car crash hadn’t have happened and blair made it to the consulate to break up with louis, what do you think would have happened next? i’ve always wondered what blair’s plan was vis-a-vis parenting in actual 5x10 if she had left louis given that her kid would have still been monegasque royalty (i think? i actually don’t know how their succession works if the parents are unmarried, but i would assume louis would have the option to recognize the child if he wanted regardless?), but especially so in light of her deciding to go it on her own and single parent! (even if dan is 100% stepping in to help her raise that kid whether they start dating or not lol)

OH well, funny you should ask, because I have an abandoned wip from late last summer, which was basically this premise. sort of.

but first, to actually answer your question: I don't know! I think, catholically speaking, a prince having a baby out of wedlock would be considered a "bastard," but in the 21st century idk if those exist anymore. theoretically, louis could/would acknowledge his child and do his best to give them rights and recognition within the royal family, but his catholic family might resist that. I kinda think -- given what we were shown -- that louis and his mother would try to exert a large amount of control over the kid whether blair was married into the family or not. remember the child rearing contract they tried to get blair to sign? i think the grimaldis would come down on her even harder if they perceived that louis was at risk of losing agency over his child's life.

and given how blair's sick & twisted mind works, she would probably anticipate the grimaldis moving to take her kid away, and she would scheme drastically to keep louis from exerting a claim over the baby. and by extension her. which brings me to the abandoned wip!

okay so, there was this abandoned fic on livejournal that was like, "what if blair and dan told everyone the baby was his so her abusive exes would leave blair the fuck alone?" and that premise is sooooo delicious I went "what if?????" and then I did not follow through.

so I tinkered with the idea that, at the crossroads of 5x10, Blair realizes that she wants out of her engagement to Louis, and her weird cosmic tie to Chuck, and her devious mind comes up with the idea the the surefire best way to make both of them so angry that they'll let her go, and make sure that louis doesn't try to take custody of the child, is to tell them that she and dan's friendship included them sleeping together at least once - enough to get her pregnant. the whole gang fell for a faked paternity test before (also including dan) why not again?

dan at first is like, blair what the fuck. but we all know he's too far gone in love with her to not help out. so they lie. they lie to everyone and it's a big mess but it does get blair free of both louis and chuck. and she tells dan he's not obligated to do or be anything but he's in on this now too, and he points out that if he were to back away (uncharacteristically) then everyone who knows them would be suspicious and boom, cover blown.

she moves into the loft and she's hormonal and the tension Builds and then they For Real sleep together and it's awesome but before they can talk about it the birth happens

anyways they are roommates and they raise this baby together and some Plot that I haven't come up with happens and then Blair realizes that she's been in love with Dan the entire goddamned time!

and Dan keeps these letters to their daughter on his computer -- he tells blair for months that he's working on his second book but nope he is just writing letters to Katharine (named for hepburn, dan calls her katie) Beach Read style. blair reads them and they make out.

For funsies, under the cut I'll paste the one scene I actually half-wrote, an exchange between Alison and Blair. The precursor is that Blair passes out in bed while Dan takes a shift with the baby, and then she wakes up and realizes that she and Dan are spooning (she's the big one) and then she stumbles into the living room looking for her kid, and boom: Alison:

“Best thing I never planned.”

Blair doesn’t say it, but she thinks Alison must hear it anyway, or feel it, the memory of that lost boy sitting in the hall. 

“But thankfully,” Alison continues, “Dan has the benefit of much more good sense.”

“Must have skipped a generation.”

Alison looks up in shock, her bouncing halting, and Katharine starts to grizzle in protest. 

“Sorry,” Blair says immediately, grimacing, “I’m really tired.”

Alison’s eyes flick up and down, looking her over, and she softens, resuming her swaying. Blair can kind of see Dan in the amusement clouding her expression. “No, you’re right,” she agrees. “Some things Dan definitely gets from me, like his taste in movies and thinking with his heart over his head.” She smiles slightly, and Katharine makes a restless noise, her tiny fist flailing in the air by Alison’s arm. “But he’s like Rufus in a lot of ways. They’re stayers. Always bloom where they’re planted.”

Blair bobs her head listlessly in agreement. Dan stays. He always has, ever since he sat down in that hallway. 

Katharine’s noises grow in frequency and volume, and Alison steps towards Blair, making to hand her over. 

“Oh,” Blair unwittingly takes a step back, hands going up, “I don’t know – but you’re doing so…”

“It’s you she wants,” Alison says gently. “You’ve got her.”

Blair takes a deep breath, and extends her arms.

“Yeah,” Alison whispers brightly, her voice turning up in that way everyone’s does when they’re talking to a baby. “There’s mama!” she says as she helps settle Katharine onto Blair’s chest. 

Blair’s breath catches in fear for a moment, but then Katharine’s grizzle of discontent softens into a coo, her fists waving lazily as she gapes up at Blair in open, honest trust.

And then, Blair finally realizes she’s been rocking from foot to foot, shifting her weight just like Alison had been. 

“You’re a natural, honey,” Alison says quietly, patting Blair lightly on the shoulder before letting go. “I can work through these,” she waves a hand at the various messes currently taking over the kitchen, “but if you need a break soon, just let me know. Whatever you need.” 

Blair pulls her eyes up from the baby in her arms, looking Alison square in the eye. “Thank you.”

Alison smiles, her dark eyes turning a familiar shade of warm and wistful, almost sad. “No thanks necessary.”

[gilliebee]

nine (9) people you'd like to know better

I got tagged by the wonderful @five4boarding and tumblr never gives me a little +1 notification icon when I get tagged in anything (like any other type of note would, so I don’t get it!!), so I live in fear that I’m always gonna miss these BUT I caught this one at least 👉😎👉

Last song: during my morning walk I randomly remembered the catchiest depression bop and then remembered the first time I looked up the guy's wiki and saw that he played hockey and I was like you're telling me a knife-footed ice-gremlin sang this???? (swiss juniors but still high level for his age bracket I think?) Anyway... Tomorrow May Not Be Better (specifically this version https://open.spotify.com/track/0V1quXmlVC6eH5kcfYPWEW ) by Bastian Baker still slaps to this very day 😌👌

Currently watching: My longstanding guilty pleasure is docs/commentary videos about any and all scams, particularly mlms/pyramid schemes. So it should come as no surprise that my brand new guilty pleasure is debt confessions/financial audits on youtube 🙈 I've been been watching a few by caleb hammer whose gimmick is that he gordon ramsey style shames people who come in with their financial records and he's like hey. why do you have $120,000 in consumer debt? why did you finance an ipad for your literal infant child?? why have you spent 30 dollars multiple times a day every day at dunkin for the last 3 months??? (the last one is an exaggeration but the first two I have seen LOL). His thumbnails are wretched I hate them so, so much, and his advice of living spartan-like for a few years to dig yourself out of the hole is ehhh maybe good in theory but generally not exactly...practical. And I think going cold turkey when you're used to constant impulse buying is basically a recipe for just eventually losing control and going on a bender. But. I'm nosy and love hearing about how people be spending their money so that's the best part of the videos for me lol

Currently reading: haven't picked up something new yet BUT I juuuust finished An Unauthorised Fan Treatise which was SO GOOD I literally slammed it nonstop for two days until I finished it. It's formatted like a rpf conspiracy theory livejournal where a fangirl of a supernatural-drama show compiles evidence that the two lead actors are secretly dating. BUT it's noted that the livejournal has been submitted as evidence into for a murder trial so y'know TWISTS AND TURNS lol. There's just something about the format that really compels me, idk I already love reading primers and conspiracies for hrpf couples that I literally have zero investment in and never will- I just enjoy the way the girlies spin a good narrative. (and also watching video essays about the uhhh less casual to super trainwreck ones like the whole larry fiasco even though I never got into 1D, as well as general fandom fiascos like msscribe and snapewives etc etc IT'S ALL SO FASCINATING TO ME 🍿👀) So it was a really natural fit for me to read in a fictional setting. And it's free to read! https://gottiewrites.com/2019/10/14/31/

Current obsession: I’m a hobbyist game maker so at all times I am rotating little bits of character development, experimental mechanics, aesthetics, ui design etc etc in my brain but it becomes much more mentally consuming during the off-season bc god knows when bruins hockey is live it is Featured Live 24/7 In My Brain. But for now... my OCs on my mind 😌💭

tagging (if you want to): OH NO I’M SO BASHFUL I NEVER KNOW WHO TO TAG IN THESE 🫣🫣🫣 uh uh uhh maybe @ghostgeno @alavenderleaf @tylerbertuzzi @reavenedges-lies @krugstrash if y’all are so inclined?? but also no pressure no pressure again I’m just NOSY hehe

[honeysaliva]

I can't wait until I can afford therapy because to go from your dream job to 2 jobs that made you feel like the gum on the bottom of a shoe, while watching your friends "succeed" (or at least move forward in their lives) is mind killing. The second job took me to a place where I no longer wanted to be here (to the point where I made a plan) and made me stop trusting humans. Combine that with realizing your past traumas, trusting the wrong people (part of it being male validation /pukes), and discovering my neurospiciness... My confidence is nonexistent. I've basically been put on reset.

I have such a fear of abandonment, which is ironic with how much I push people away, but that's a classic. Socializing gives me so much anxiety now and I feel like a scared little chihuahua if someone even says hi in a video game.

Next week, I am talking to my Doctor about new medications, but I hope she doesn't make me feel ignored, as that's pretty common with her. I hope I can find new meds that can motivate me to be a human again.

I really want to start working out for my mental health, but I don't know where to start. Sometimes I think about running, but I don't have the funds for new shoes. My dream is to get into boxing. Also, (TW Body talk!!!!!) my body has changed so much and it's so hard to be comfortable in it. Why did I have to get boobs for the first time ever now that I realized I don't want them? On top of that, I have so many new stretch marks, 50 lbs due to medication, and a keloid scar that needs surgery to be removed, so I barely recognize myself anymore. I want to love my body SO BAD.

I probably should get a journal instead of using my tumblr like a livejournal. lol

[desertfangs]

“honestly if DA hadn’t sent me an anon about one of them I was ready to pull it and call it a loss”

DON’T YOU DARE 🤧 but also imma cry that fic is so special and sexy and bittersweet and I can’t recommend it enough! You go in expecting smutty goodness (which you WILL find) and end up openly sobbing five paragraphs in. Seriously if you’re a bookverse Armand/Daniel fan and haven’t read this one, what have you even been doing with your life!? Mandatory Devil’s Minion reading imho 📖

This current trend of passively consuming media is slowly killing fandoms and fandom content creators. I’ll never not do my part but it’s so disheartening to see so many incredible fics with such depth and understanding of individual characters and dynamics with like… less than 10 comments on ao3. That shit kills the spirit fr xoxo DA ❤️

PS Daniel sitting out the entirety of BC2 because he was too busy playing The Last of Us is laying me tf out and I’ll be thinking about it often 💭

DA!! Thank you so much!! You are honestly a treasure and a gift to this fandom and I know we all appreciate your messages so much! 💖💖

None of us thinks we're owed ANYTHING but like... I came up in fandom in the 90s and 2000s, where people were sharing stuff in newsgroups and on forums and then livejournal. It was a community and everyone interacted with each other and shared their thoughts and commented on fics! Fics launched whole discussions and more fics about similar topics. Now it feels like fandom is so isolated, and people put creators in some separate box where they will consume what they create but not dare interact. And it's weird! We're all just part of fandom, flailing around and trying to have to fun.

Now there's this social media like button culture where people (not just in fandom) will leave a like and move on and that's fine except it doesn't feel as personal and creates this lonely atomosphere. It's so passive, as you said, and as someone who's spending a lot of their free time and brain power crafting fics because I'm excited about the characters or an idea and I want to share, putting it out there and getting nothing back is so demoralizing.

And then of course there's the insecurity. Most writers have it in spades so when we post something and the response is... lackluster... the first thought is often "Well, apparently this one sucks." It creates all kinds of doubt! And then if you're me, sometimes you feel stupid for posting at all and wonder if you should take it down. (I talk myself out of this and then more comments come in and I feel better - although lately comments are hard to come by after the first couple of days a fic is live!)

But I digress. It's just this whole thing and it's weird because no one owes anyone comments or compliments, but creating into a void is depressing and unsatisfying and it's going to lead to people not bothering to share what they make. And that's a bummer, because fandom is all about sharing and conversing and having fun as a group. Otherwise I can just tell my headcanons to my cats, who are always happy to listen.

But you always do your part!! I love your messages and they always make me feel like I've succeeded. So thank you so much again for your kind words! I really am proud of that fic and I hope people will start to realize that a quick comment is worth so much to fic writers. It doesn't need to be elaborate!

And LOL yes, I love the idea of Daniel being so busy battling digital zombies that he's just.. not involved in the last book. Armand calls from time to time and Daniel talks him off a ledge and then fights his way through another zombie-infested building. 😂😂😂 This is my current theory and I'm sticking to it.

[iantimony]

accidentally back to tuesdaypost

despite my best efforts, shabbat came and went and i did not make my post. oops. trying a new heading template this week as well.

maybe not this week but i am thinking of starting to host images for the making section somewhere else...maybe on gdrive? or postimages.org? imgur? just so that if my tumblr ever breaks the images in dreamwidth won't vanish.

listening

partizan! halfway through episode 12 right now, which means, according to where i was last week-ish, i am averaging about one episode a day LOL. extreme sport FatT speedrunning. also relistening to all is as all should be recently, just scratches a brain itch for some reason. it's very brain-worm-able to me, i've been humming songs from it all week.

reading i was going to say fallow and then went. hooold on. i've been reading SO many things just not, like, books.

wikipedia articles of the week: Naomi Shihab Nye, Rachel's Tomb, Matzevah, Alexandre Cabanel, Abd el-Ouahed ben Messaoud, Leo Africanus

because it's november and i'm nostalgic for nanowrimo (and considering doing it again once i'm done with classes and therefore homework), i went and reread some of my nano from when i was in high school and WOW. nostalgia!!! some of it is very very bad, unsurprisingly, it was almost 10 years ago, but some of it is actually quite good. very fond of the comments left by a friend on it that were preserved when i downloaded the google doc a billion years ago to save on my external drive, including one that said "your prose is crisp like an autumn apple" or some fucking thing like that. truly delightful. i'd also somehow forgotten that i'd actually hit the word goal? the document is about 60k words give or take, the story was not finished though which is probably why i misremembered. i should start writing again.

in my quest to populate my inoreader with blogs and other such things i've been delving into my bookmarks and re-found this delightful site, their most recent article is just the world's most specific niche horn memes it's so funny. like this is absolutely meaningless to literally everyone else that it passes back into absurdity and probably funny to non-horn players again. i am VERY excited to peruse their pdf library though.

playing pokegoooooo. i am visiting my grandma and going on long night walks around the old people development with pokego is very elite. i am a little nervous that someone will call security on me though because i frequently just stop (often like...in front of people's apartment buildings....) and stand still to catch pokemon if a bunch have spawned in one location...

watching i have not watched it yet but i am VERY excited to start season 2 of the tgcf donghua!!

watched kurtis connor's "deep dive into potterheads" and literally cheered out loud at the end when he mentioned the snapewives. that made me want to watch strange aeons so i also watched her video on msscribe and snapewives.

i wasn't On Livejournal or active in fandom while everything was going down but i remember learning about it a few years after it all happened so seeing comprehensive deep dives now is very, very...satisfying isn't quite the right word, but i am a messy bitch who lives for drama especially when i'm not involved in it. what a mess.

making pottery!!! i have a bunch of stuff coming out from a glaze run that i'm very excited to see but it will have to wait til saturday when i get home from visiting my grandma for thanksgiving. i do however have pictures of this little box i made:

it was a gift for my grandma, and i glazed it all the way back in the beginning of october i think? the kilns got monopolized by some other stuff for the owner's business (which is super fair) which means we didn't get a student project run until literally friday, two days before i was supposed to leave town, so after some texting with her she was able to put it out on her porch around 11pm on saturday when the kiln cooled down enough so i was able to pick it up at like 5:30am on my drive to the airport LOL so all in all it worked out! next roundup post will have pictures of some of my other glazed pieces, i'm very very curious how they do!!!

i've been playing with underglaze because i was like ohhhh i love the look of carving designs into underglaze...and i bought some fun colors when i went to The City a few weekends ago...so i have this mug that needs its first fire, i also have some fun eye-motif ones in the works at the moment! i also added some underglaze color to my dragon carving from last week.

finally this bowl already had its first fire but i painted underglaze on over white to try and get a watercolor-type effect? i put lilypads on the inside and painted koi on the outside (no picture of that yet)

misc not a whole lot else! since my summertime trials and tribulations i have unfortunately become the kind of person who gets tummy issues when my stress levels get too high. i have always become a basket case in the ~24 hours before i have to travel somewhere so that's been less than fun but i'm figuring it out. also trying to switch psychiatrists right now is sooooo fucking aggravating i will not get into it but ughhhhhh.

[castle-dominion]

5x7 swan song. I stayed up late last night so I"m starting this watch at around 10. Also no more livejournal transcript but I do have the dustjackets one

Ooh this is fun I like a band WAIT HOLY CRAP I REMEMBER THIS EPISODE FROM MY FAMILY WATCH we just watched spinal tap so we called it the spinal tap episode but I'll call it the rockumentary episode

Love the filming style & I didn't realize at first but then heeheehee it is sdkfjskdfh love this ep

bro you are alreadu here why don't YOU help? btw love his hat

Hold on beckett's car is dark blue, not black & esposito's car is red. P nice. *still filming even tho the cops are here* I think I said "I hope the entire episode is done like this" even tho I doubted it & THEN THIS HAPPENED

KB: Ryan, get rid of the cameras. The prettiest man on earth, looking uncomfy: Yeah, I’ll … take care of it. It must be weird for the actors to pretent to NOTICE the cameras for once, & to act like they are NOT super comfy on camera

JE: How’d you like to try to film with a cracked lens, huh? Huh?

Castle is so good at being on camera

Good old les paul

*ryan trying to hide his face*

Weird accent saying "director"

At least this man holds up his finger to espt & says he needs to go on the phone

Joel Mitas: you know, a hunt for the murderer? People love that stuff. Me: Yeah, I do *gets on the phone with someone DURING THE CONVERSATION*

Lanie *looks at the camera in exasperation about castle* Oh yeah club 27

the cameraone is on the wrong side of that gun

drunk af duh, did you not see her all hungover looking>

I'd have said "cru cru crunch" At least he died happy

You can see that the cameraone is not supposed to be there bc they are hiding behind the wall Poor esposito, walks in with a court order

Gates <3 Ryan & esposito.

Heck yeah she SHOULD give an introduction but ryan looks soooo uncomfy, I want to pic that

JE: ... Welcome KR: .. Welcome

I thought he meant "see something" as in see smth romantic

Why are they all interviewed at the same time remember ithaca

Espt you can just show them the screenshot

JE: All right. (he starts to spread the photos on the table. CASTLE blocks his line to the camera) Just … (he pushes him back) … there we go. Boom. (he circles) the guy in a photo) Boom. (again) Boom. (and again) I like the editing JE, dramatically: We’ve got you now, you son of a bitch. JE to the cams: I’m sorry, can I even say son of a –

clipping the intro for sure

Don't look at the camera keep your eyes on the road *arguing* changing shirt lol each trying to impress the cameras now that they're here

*jumps over a car*

this is freaking amazing

"that ain't ketchup" & sdjfkshdkjfhsdkjfhjds

*beckett watches annoyed while esposito makes nice/dramatic for the camera JE: That’s a gift from me to you. You’re welcome, America. *turns to walk away but his partner is there & holding his face, worth a clip*

Castle shush We haven't seen the roses episode Someone should write a casefic for that Wait I didn't see a cameraone in there, is there a cameraone filming inside the room? Ryan looks so uncomfy he wants to leave *stands in the corner*

Your little girl? Will that be butterfly? This is a great twist I am loooving it "If it's ok with my partner"

I am also happy that we got better shots of the other detectives earlier this episode, I wish we knew their names tho. I might be able to catch a glimpse on the nameplates

Ryan sooo pissed I loooove it ryan the drug cop KB: That’s an interesting theory, but that is pure speculation. RC: Actually, it’s not. Pure speculation would be Swan purchasing thermonuclear technology to have a scientist make him an amplifier that went all the way to 12. This? Musicians buying drugs? (he looks to the camera) That’s just Monday morning’s crossword.

Castle is naturally good at this, "you need to introduce lanie" yk?

*leaning down a bit to show off her rack* Antivax? *looking pretty for the cameras*

Ryan is pretty sam spear cool name *ryan jumps for his keys but espt takes them from him.* JE: No, no, no, no. I got this. You stay here and work on your little research project, you being the nerve center and all. (he turns to leave) Castle? I like how we are getting castito & ryckett, it is nice. (ofc esposito takes castle bc castle is good with cameras) *ryan still standing there with his hand out "holding" his "keys"*

Castle trying to defend beckett (the beckett onion) I can clip "he went the wrong way" but tbh I'd clip everything

Going to be a film Ooh he is composing a SCORE for a FILM!

Ofc he's working with this guy, he scores music

Who the hecking heck writes SHEET MUSIC for ROCK SONGS??? Tabs are more likely. I mean, I'm a fiddler, I have arranged rock pieces on my fiddle, I should record a Holy Grail cover & that You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison cover. Actually I recorded Holy Grail improv to make it easier to score but I haven't written, but I HAVE written Prison but not recorded it. Like esposito would NOT read music I'm gonna sing for y'all later SDFDHSKJHH SO FREAKING EXCITED but also what singers use sheet music? I have some minimal classical training & I cannot sing reading off sheet music. I can play my violin just fine! Actaully,,, I struggle with the timing on written music, but if I've heard the song even once & I have the sheet music, I'd be able to figure it out. I can not, however, sing reading sheet music

the composer sitting in the back while these two talk

MAN DOES AN IMPROV MUSICAL STING HECK FRICKEN YEAH reminds me: my brother took a piano class at my fiddle camp once & the piano teacher loooved making cute dumb jokes so like here: when the geese fly in an arrow, why is one arm longer than the other? Because it has more birds in it Ba dum ts! My brother learned how to quickly hit the button on his keyboard that makes it into drum sounds & then he memorized the keys for ba dum & ts. It was INCREDIBLE (could clip that but I could clip anything)

Ooh I'm liking the music rn I like them. I wonder if they have a song in the bonus features. also the drummer is great great great. All the best drummers are shirtless. This guy tho, he is wearing a vest, a waistcoat. That's the only shirt he's wearing. Beautiful.

Beckett looks nice & good shirt too. DON'T-- BE CAREFUL WITH THE GUITAR mum noticed the tap shoes too!

strut your stuff sdkjfsdlkj

Keith: Really? You gotta film this too? KB, actually liking the cams for once: They can film whatever they want, Keith. You signed a release A drunk witness

Ithaca again ... So... You can't ask this girl...

holy crap does she realize they were filming? oh no gates is checking up on them while they have the porno If I were gates I'd also take people aside & ask them if they are doing ok with the cameras JE: You want action, check this. *starts to turn his copmouter screen* (lol action) VG: Hey, hey, hey. This is inappropriate workplace behavior. JE: This is evidence, Sir. Our suspect’s alibi hinges on this. (he smiles into the camera) VG: Oh. VG, watching closer: Oh. (She is a married woman, y'all) KB: (aside) That’s not the only thing on this video being faked. VG: *looks at her*

Ooh coly crap ryan is pretty again! I mean he always is but it is another plaid type shirt, blues & pinks, & this time he has a tie clip,, "research project" he is mad

Man wasn't a thing until 17?? ITHACA mum: cult? Me: that would explain antivax Castle: it's a cult That's clever! He added the O & the B!

the tension between rysposito

RC: Wait a second. That’s the day Swan died. So John Campbell was in town with a few days to kill. (he takes a beat, then smiles) See what I did there? KB: *sighs heavily and tips her head back in annoyance* RC: That was good. Use that. Don’t use the part where I said ‘see what I did there’. Cut that out, so a hard fade to black, musical sting. *sings the castle theme* ((clipping this)) *He turns around for support from his friends, but they’ve all walked away.*

KR: The Church of Worldly Enlightenment isn’t just your friendly neighborhood cult. It’s also a 20 acre pot farm. Run by the 300 plus members all for Campbell’s personal profit.

cameras CAMERAS his annoyed face as soon as he sees

Smart people are in cults too y'all. Oh of course he'd recruit at a youth hostel beckett still holding up her book in front of her face I love it. I mean they already have your face

Maybe the youth hostel can get rid fo the cameras. Also all the faces of the youths here should be blurred. Runaways, cult escapees, queer kids, probably way too many native ppl, you don't want your face out

I love all the flags Yuck. My church is populated by mainly FNMI people & it's a great church. Kids run on to the platform, priest says "let the children come," each month we do a finance review so we know where our money is going, transparency is important. If your church is full of natives, you want to do right. THIS church is building conciliation & reconciliation.

wanTed revenge, becks. There is a t.

I like how we saw the boom mic

I like how she says "excuse me" before answering the phone OH NO THE ALMOST-KISS

Look at them argue lol

"you" should tell beckett these two are so freaking cute also cute shirt on esposito lol castle moving away from becks what is the name of this detective? The gaunt black guy

Course he's not in the system the roadie!??!?! (but how did the cult watch get a photo of him?)

YOU WERE THE MENTOR? probably plays christian music, I know so many good camp songs... the nostalgia is real, esp as someone who considers themself separate from the roman catholic church but is still a christowitch (& christopagan during lent) & Metis folk catholic... a queer anarchosocialist catholic, seriously? an emo punk like me?

Castle & his musical sting XD

Maybe esposito really can read sheet music Power chords? Seriously? I'm not a guitarist but I'm p sure it would be better to compose smth like that with tabs or just the chord names, tho idk. But castle can read sheet music & understand like what power chords are being played & stuff?

Just grabbed my fiddle. I wish I knew the key. I thought it might be in c bc no sharps/flats but why shouldn't mess with the c in that case, then I thought it might be d bc that's a common note & I played the song in d. I have some classical & sightreading training but I'm mostly a fiddler & I learn my ear, in fact the suzuki method is very ear based. So my timing was off. But I played it & it sounds good, or it would sound good if I had full sheet music & a listen through first, & maybe if I played rock guitar. It is actually pretty easy minus the rests in odd places, but they are not bad for people with better timing than me, maybe it would be hard for guitarists to play bc they don't have bows.

He can play that, IF he has a chance to practice first, caslte you motherHecker! People like that probably don't even use sheet music! It is rare that they do! If they need to read, they will use tabs ALSO HOLD ON WHAT THE FRICK THAT WAS IN THE TREBBLE CLEFF, MY VIOLIN KEY, NOT THE BASS CLEFF WHICH IS WHAT BASS GUITAR WOULD PLAY

they did NOT get their music composer to help with the props department huh.

Give him some time to workshop it! You COULD play it probably! (also who plays with rings?)

Pique de nez

Mikey way didn't know how to play bass when they fisrt started the band "but you sure can handle a guitar" Wow this kid, poor zeke, he is upSET

also this roadie is p darn short Love how we get the tattoo visibility

you need a new bassist & a new frontman lol

Lol gates I love this XD RC: It’s what makes catching the killer worthwhile. Which is strange, because you’d think it’d be catching the killer but no, it’s – OH NO SHE SAW THE CLIP but they are not technically both employees....

castle you YOU CHILD

beckett don't pretend more crap is going on than she knows

Wow. I heard somewhere that dever & huertas did more music together at some point.

btw I need to clip this, but the into happens while gates is yelling at caskett

amazing amazing amazing amazing wonderful phenominal outstanding music them singing in the middle of the bullpen & playing instrumetns & esposito all dramatic & ryan "I taught him how to do that' & the harmonies & the silliness & the prettiness & heck I need a full song of this like holy crap he can sing high also do they.. hav etheir amps here (ryan is not singing despite having "taught" him how) it's just so good & espt is so silly dramatic & ryan is tapping on the chair & sfjkhsadjfshdkjfhdskjfhs

Is that the sstairway ppl like to go to in fanfiction oh no wait she is just locking him in a closet that was a good scene I'd maybe clip it if I don't have to return the DVDs "Hey!!"

sjhalksjdfhalskjdfhlajsdhfljkasdhfkjlh this was a great episode, I know I say a lot are my fave but I think this one is up there with the 40s episode the blue butterfly & sdfjhalkfsjdh I want to rewatch life on the murder scene now aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah this wpisode was great shdjkshfdjh it was humerous it was unique (good change of pace) it brought character & murder & sfjdkhsk music & so much hhhhhhhhhhhthis made me so happy I spent two hours on this ep & I only allow myself an hour & a half (I mean, I did grab my violin...)

[sniperct]

Based on my experience, too much skin (this includes topless men, as I once got a stern talking to for having a livejournal icon with a topless man on it for an RP blog lmao) is often considered not safe for work. Not as a sexy thing, just an in general thing. There's also the line of what is and is not provacative which is generally subjective but better to er on the side of caution.

For titties, excess cleavage (typically any neckline that goes below the nipple range, so deep v-necks and etc are borderline. I've seen some fancy dresses worn by celebrities that would have been okay because of CONTEXT (aka it's on a news website or something like that), but when it's like, social media or something else that's where the line can sometimes be crossed. Side boob and underboob is 100% considered sexual because it's not typically seen in most public social settings (which I think again comes down to context, see the 'celebrity news report' exception)

Bulges of any kind are definitely nsfw in every office environments I've worked in. I don't think I've ever seen an obvious bulge on anyone in public before though, at least nothing like what I've seen in some art. It always just looks like the folds of the clothing itself to me.

IMO it's safer to browse tumblr than twitter because tumblr has a much better tagging system and thus its way easier to blacklist words and phrases than it is on twitter. Many things that tumblr filters out don't filter on twitter I've noticed. I, however, never did it on a work pc, only my phone lol doing it on a work PC is stupid, especially back in the day when blacklisting required a 3rd party add-on.

I think part of the problem is 99% of the time I can personally SEE a picture, judge the context and immediately know if that would be safe to show at work or not, wheras a lot of people don't for various reasons and levels of aceness, but ALSO I cannot actually EXPLAIN the difference to people. I just know it. It’s .... experience in the office since I was 18. (granted, my first job had the boss showing literal porn including soda cans where they do not belong, but that is an exception and should not be counted)

There are also things that are clearly safe (two women holding hands and staring into eyes and oh no there is lipstick on her collar bone) that often get marked(much to my rage), but I know some work places would still flay you alive for that.

So in summary it’s better to ere on the side of caution because most people are prudes in public.

Okay, disclaimer I’m super ace (but in a way that usually makes me extra sensitive to lewd stuff) but from what I’ve gathered…

Sideboob and underboob are generally considered nsfw or nsfw-ish, large amounts of cleavage seem to be a bit of a gray area..? But I had to guess those ones might be what people were referring to, not certain though

Particularly noticeable bulge/bulge with attention being drawn to it tends to be seen as suggestive too, though whether or not it should be seen that way is probably up for debate. I feel like it shouldn’t be inherently nsfw unless it’s being presented in a suggestive way but I don’t really understand how allos think ^^;

I think the stuff that you went back and marked as NSFW was generally fine actually? But I could be wrong

Anyway take all of this with a grain of salt, these are just my guesses based on what I’ve gathered via observation

I love my allo friends and followers, but I will never fully understand it all tbh. XD

I don’t get how cleavage can be “non-sexual” sometimes and “sexual” other times but under boob and side boob are always sexual? Like… it’s a boob regardless?

And that only counts for “female presenting nipples” because “male presenting nipples” can just exist at all times and it’s fine?

The bulge stuff kinda makes me head tilt too, especially as a trans woman, because there are cis guys walking around outside with pants that show bulge all the time and that’s… fine ish? Like it’s just “accepted as okay” in most situations.

But a trans woman does it and suddenly it’s “nsfw” or “lewd”?

Again, as someone who’s sexuality lands in ace spectrum I just… don’t get it.

But it all feels very manufactured to specifically be able to utilize as a way to target, harass, or objectify women, femme presenting folks, or “anyone who could be incorrectly clocked as girl-ish by a cis person” in order to police those people and their bodies.