#i should be 18 not 20
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i’m 18 today. except i’m not. i’m 20 today. maybe one of these years i’ll catch up. maybe one of these years i won’t be crying at midnight on my birthday, confused on why i’m not 2 years younger than i think i am.
#qualified to officially be called an adult#no longer a teen#i’m supposed to be celebrating this#out drinking and partying#i’ve been allowed to do that for 2 years now#so why does it still feel like i’m too young for it???#i have felt so broken and skewed since covid#i didn’t get a chance to grow at all in 2020-2022#therefore it basically never happened#i should be 18 not 20#to make up for the lost years no????#im 20 and crying in a room that makes me look 15 still#i know tumblr would argue so aggressively otherwise#but it really does feel like im the only person out there who#still has the same interests as when they were younger and still have pride in those interests#i feel like people#albeit slightly older than me#look at me in judgement and see me as an adult child#idk i just feel ill#it doesn’t feel real this whole night has felt like a fever dream jesus#birthday
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let's all quit the internet! (he/him)
#robot#tv head#sona#id in alt#edit added pronouns to the main post like i should have. I love robot girls they are my comrades but I am not one I'm too agender to qualif#upgrading from ubuntu 18 to 20 apparently fucked up my ffmpeg real bad and it wouldnt export this gif correctly for a hot second rip
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#i'm here to ruining EVERYONES DAY#tw: torture#i felt like more people needed to know the lore about the arkhamverse because it's absolutely gut-wrenching so hehe ur welcome for the pain#the fact that bruce did try and find him for so long makes me wanna scream#cause ya know they make it sound like he gave up really fast and just abandoned him#but he did try for SIX months? up until he thought jason was dead? (and yes we can debate that he should have known but pls it's a game)#(they needed that to happen for the story so blame the writers)#just as jason had hope for several months that bruce would come for him!#and that makes me so fucking feral#“finally gave up the search” stop stop im crying im not okay#oh my god bruce and jason melts my brain#jason todd#jaybin#red hood#batman: the arkham knight#batman#arkham knight#the arkham knight#ak jason todd#arkham knight jason todd#joker#dcu#jasontoddedit#my gifs#info from wiki and so#this is truly THE saddest version of brujay honestlyyyyyyyyyy#i also like the “mentor and ward” aspect :3#he was likeee 18-20 here i believe?#:(
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you want a new kind of guy, fine, i raise you: the lady i was briefly roommates with in college who once smoked a blunt at a party and then spent an hour confessing earnestly to me that she genuinely preferred reading detailed episode recaps over actually watching the tv show in question
#she sounded so remorseful & i just stood staring like an anthropologist watching their phd thesis spontaneously manifest before their eyes#apparently she would watch the pilot episode to get a feel for the characters#and then just read a bunch of recaps & episode reviews instead of watching future episodes. what fresh steaming hell#this conversation took place like a year and a half after we were roommates btw. i had seen her maybe twice in that time period#i thought she was a standard frat girl but then 18 months later she appears in the wild grass to reveal unhinged character background to me#and i'm just standing there nodding feeling like i missed a weird opportunity i did not want or ask for#honestly thought i was the weirdest person in that apartment situation but now i'm wondering what our other 2 roommates were hiding#not my strangest college experience at ALL but like. definitely top 20#this wasn't the same person as Aquarium Girl btw but oddly enough they were roommates actually#(not at the same time that Recaps Lady and i were roommates but at different intervals idk)#anyway i probably should have interviewed at more than one apartment before taking over a sublease but summer sess is a weird time u know#oh and this happened in Hong Kong btw
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Being in a country where the legal drinking age is 18 is lowkey embarrassing cause there's these kids fresh out of high school drinking a pack of beers by the hour and I'm over here having to treat drinking like I'm already 40 years old
#I also look 12 so I have to swear up and down that I'm over 18 when I order a drink 💀#I be like “dude I swear I'm not 17. Yes that's my mom over there but that's unrelated”#They don't think that my 20 smth ass should be traveling with my family apparently#It's unfortunate#caspers random things
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Made a. Well it's not a meme. I made an image.
Without the text. ^
I like making MS Paint trackpad drawings of myself. I should do it more.
And to all the antis that follow me or reblog my art and whatnot, you should stop being hypocrites. I understand being uncomfortable with lolisho or fictional incest or fictional murder or sexual furry art, and that is ok. But when you put pro-shippers in your DNI, you say to the world that you are a hypocrite and you don't understand that fiction is not the same as reality. I myself do not have a DNI, as I truly think DNIs are pointless, and I am ok with interacting with people who disagree with me on things. Like, my good pal. Mutual. Whatever. Daniel, is a "tucute" and an "inclus" but I would gladly do illegal substances with him.
What I'm trying to say is. By being an anti, you explicitly endorse harassment. By being and anti and interacting with me, you are going against your own beliefs. The beliefs like- fictional characters matter more than real life victims, and that liking loli porn makes someone a pedophile but liking furry porn doesn't make someone a zoophile for some reason. Even though they're. Literally the same thing in terms of moral value or whatever.
But anyway.
It's like. 4 AM. And I'm tired of seeing people reblog from me or follow me when they support an ideological stance that is extremely harmful to freedom of speech, victims of abuse, and creativity as a whole.
Feel free to continue interacting, as long as you remain respectful, but for your own good, if you're uncomfortable with me being ok with dark fiction and also enjoying dark fiction, maybe at the very least, don't follow me.
#mango man speaks#mango man draws#digital art#digital drawing#ms paint#persona#sona art#shipcourse#anti harassment#proship#profiction#antis are hypocrites#antis are stupid#im also kinda tempted to put a ''dni if under 18'' on my blog.#but i have a lot of opinions about. the age of adulthood. that would negate that.#plus im like. 19. so banning people who are 2 years younger than me from my blog would be. well. dumb as shit.#for the record- i think the age of adulthood should be raised.#because 18 year olds are literally no different from 17 year olds.#make the age of adulthood 20. lower the drinking age to 20.#or. let the 17 year olds legally look at porn. most of their classmates can. why cant they.#18 being the age of adulthood is. literally such bullshit.#you mean to tell me some high schoolers can VOTE? but others cant?#we're letting teenagers participate in our elections?#we're letting teenagers look access hardcore porn?#because of some arbitrary legal shit????#18 year olds can die in combat. but they cant drink alcohol.#18 year olds are HIGH SCHOOLERS.#child marriage is legal in california. mississippi. new mexico. and ohklahoma.#and saudi arabia. south sudan. and yemen. child marriage is also legal.#thats ffucked up.
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I would personally like to thank all the gen x and elder millennials who allowed me to be the “kid” in all of my favorite fandom spaces 15+ years ago because lord knows if I was anything like the youth in some of my newer fandoms I should have been blocked by at least 2/3 of my faves
#I think there was a whole other rule of law in fandom back when I was under 18 honestly#and honestly in my very early 20s too#because the idea of yelling at my faves for being creeps for talking to me about a video game#while encouraging me when I had a test or even giving me advice when I asked for it?#none of them talked to me about anything that I wouldn’t tell my kid sister EVER. and they reminded me to be safe too! they were great!#now tho…everyone is super suspicious of everyone while treating the internet like their diary and it’s insane#…I feel so sorry for the young ones. I really do LMAO#(grateful I was trained to both not give every single detail of my life and mental illnesses away online)#(while also not being paranoid that everyone over 18 was going to do something inappropriate)#(it’s reversed now and the youth are SO MUCH WORSE for it)#….I may have aggressively dated myself with this but LMFAO the people should know I am not that young by now#the me tag
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#i am mad bc i wweigh 18 pounds less than im used to weighing the last 8 years in my 20s and the last of my teens#i am weak and have no energy#and i barely know what to eat#and my mother is just like#“you should be happy! you couldnt get this light if you tried!”#i'm like... i can't fucking exercise if i had the motivatoon even if mg mental illness allowed#i had the gastritis now and that obviously didnt help but im TRYING TO EAT#BUT MY WHOLE SYSTEM IS FUCKED#ignore me#i mean i generally am always mad at my parents and dont think i will ever be forgiving them so#thslus is just superficial anger
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IN PERSON EVENT LED BY JIN OMG WHY AM I NOT IN KOREA 😭😭😭 AT LEAST THEYLL LIVE STREAM ONE OF THEM JEEZ I FEEL SO LEFT OUT LMAO
yeah they’ll livestream it for army membership holders so it’s literally not accessible for everyone 🙃 I think that’s really shitty of them tbh
#I didn’t renew my membership after it expired so I’d have to pay 20 quid to see him too#sorry for being negative about this#but festa and seeing and hearing him for the first time in 18 months should be free#anon#annie’s mail
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My back hurts so much but did you guys know my birthday is like a week away? Mental.
#luly talks#i tend to forget my age. always. i always forget my age. did you guys know I'm 19 i forgot that.#all i remember is im no longer a teen i just know im an adult. cant believe im only now reaching 20#kinda bullshit btw. that you only get about 18 years of being a kid. i think that shit should last longer idc
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Hey so, uh. If you are wondering what happens if you fail your insight and persuasion checks with Astarion after the battle with Cazador. Maybe.... Maybe don't worry about it ok
#i just did on accident and i stared at the screen for 15 min in silence#it was... a lot... and not fun#on another note i think if youre playing a durge and youve had a good relationship with astarion and resisted the urge i think...#...you should have another persuasion option with a lower dc than fuckin 18-20 just saying haha#astarion#bg3 spoilers#bg3#baldurs gate 3
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lots of discussion of six kings and wta riyadh as if the atp nextgen finals arent in jeddah?
#not that anyone should be blaming those lteral children but its another for the blaming of organizers#actually i think most of the finalists are 18-20 not kids but theyre kids to me#anyways theyve been in jeddah a year and have a contract to be there till 2027#whereas the other two are started this year#sks was a one off and wta is in riyadh till 2026 apparently#tennis
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Was talking abt the Cody Ko situation w friends earlier & what really gets me is that like. When you’re 17 you’re like well there’s not that much of a gap in maturity between 17 & 25 some of us are really mature blah blah. & now even being 3 years from 25 I’m like I can’t even imagine being remotely ok with seeing a 17 yr old at a party filled with people my age. If you are 25 and you see a 17 year old like that I think you’re just sick in the head. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#obviously 17 year olds party I know this from experience but they should not be at a party with adults#let alone hooking up with someone that age. Cody should die but I also think whoever let a 17 yr old come to the party should be ashamed.#like there was a girl who entered college early & hung out with my group of friends when we were all ~19/20#and she was 17/18. and the difference in maturity was insane.
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older chongyun..!! i think most people draw him w long hair tied up in a ponytail but i like to think his hair grows really slow. he grows it out to his nape giving him somewhat of a mullet? my goal is more on a small mane...hehe. rationale for this is that id assume he can control his yang energy better as he ages and therefore doesnt warrant the need to tie his hair to ventiliate himself or prevent sweating. i reread his character stories on his profile and forgot the bit about him feeling like he missed out the mundanes bc of his condition (eg large gatherings hot springs regular dishes). perhaps the smallest and most gradual development in overcoming this predicament is growing out his hair.....
#chongyun#my art#i should probably use that tag hahaha#tangy talks genshin#should also make a tangy talks chongyun#but anyway my boss sent me on my 10 and i drew this in the back ajfbahf#i hc him to be 17 in game (18 situationally for the sake of continuity like birthdays but that doesnt matter to me much)#so here he'd be like.. maybe 20? 21?#still a young lad but void of his baby cheeks... chongyun having a sharp jawline after years of face pudge means everything to me#but i also like to think he grows to look softer? softer gaze and loosened up....#chongyun is canonically mistaken to be stoic.. “face of ice” and him controlling his energy better rids him off this initial impression#now he is just beloved exorcist heart of clear water.. face of... :-)#wow these tags are long as hell#i have so many chongyun thoughts it's horrible. thought about him the entire day today#my entire 10 HOUR SHIFT... AUGH#edit:#tangy talks chongyun
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I'm bored and can't sleep because of cramps so I decided to mess around with an incorrect quotes generator using the latest OCs @katkastrofa and I created that I unfortunately cannot talk about in detail here because I'd get nerfed in an instant:
#idk how in character most of these are since we don't have too good a grasp on their personalities yet#they've literally existed for a day#but I tried my best and think most of them are rather fitting#the last one is easily my favourite lmao#you know. considering what this blog used to be five years ago...#does this count as going back to my roots?#(say it with me now. silt and murk giving birth to something beautiful)#(that being my friendship with kat <3)#'but nia you and kat already have 29 OCs of your own creation. 31 if you count the adopted ones and 34 if you count Midori's unnamed kids!'#'maybe you should slow your roll a little?? you're on track to having created 20 OCs this year alone and it's not even September!'#'most of them are never even gonna feature in a fic or anything but the convos you and kat have! why bother?'#because I'm mentally ill and my life is falling apart and the only thing that helps me function is what kat and I have#the multiverse of madness included#also I have chronic 'I'm gonna spin these little guys in my head for hours >:)' disease#and there's no cure#hope this helps :)#lmao idk what to talk about in these tags since idk how much I'm allowed to say#both because of the ban and because I'm not 18 yet#idk how much difference a month actually makes but eh. those rules aren't up to me unfortunately#it's 5 a.m I should go to bed#I need to get my sleep schedule at least semi normal before Monday#:(
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as much as i'd like to see forcebook play their ages, i don't really mind them playing 18-22 year olds because i can easily forgive a lot of shitty behavior in that age group. it's a really rough time in your life, often your first time out on your own, when you might not quite grasp how dire the consequences of your actions can be because you won't "get in trouble." when you're graduating from Teenhood, there's sometimes a learning curve with "my parents ragged on me about X just because they're parents" to "oh they actually did know better i shouldn't do that shit" - sometimes you have to learn that on your own. add alcohol, the pressure of college, shifting identities, etc., it's a good recipe for some nice 'n' easy character development.
#characters like arc are exactly the kind who scratch the itch in my brain#local grumpy dumbass finds out actions have consequences and you have to be nice for people to like you#you know if he were in his thirties i'd be like what HAPPENED to you there must be an explanation for why you can't function properly#but at 20 i'm like oh you haven't ironed out the kinks in your personality yet and haven't figured out how to relate to people#and what your place is in the world#ptl liveblog#it's the same with theo like. grieving. lonely. scared. language/cultural barriers. hopelessly in love and unsure if it's reciprocated.#AND EIGHTEEN#like woof#mew? his two closest friends are assholes his first love slept with one of them he has this HUGE project that may fail bc of it all#and he may not graduate if it doesn't work AND HE'S TWENTY-TWO#of COURSE he loses his mind and tries to cling to anything he can: the wrong guy. drugs. alcohol. revenge.#(as i was writing this all out and i was thinking oh should i write something about top or akk)#(and 1. besides aprilcheum top is the most Hinged character on the show)#(and akk i am realizing i struggle with not just because he's underdeveloped)#(which he is don't fight me on this)#(but because i was like him when i was 18 and i still haven't forgiven myself for the ways in which i acted like him at that age lol)#(so he frustrates me a lot)#ANYWAY ANOTHER TANGENT......#i had a weird weekend guys i'm stressed out idk i just want to yap
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