#i shan't say it. but some of you know what i'm thinking

[revvethasmythh]

caleb telling luc not to take that tone with his mother and then starting to go after him when he stormed away is so. paternal

[entitled-fangirl]

Chance. (P3)

Aemond Targaryen x reader; Aegon x Wife!reader

Summary: the people grow restless with no king. The reader is determined to find out Aemond's motives.

A/n: A short little chapter to get us to Sunday when the next episode releases!

Part 1, 2, 4

Masterlist

...........................................................

"Ser Hightower!" Y/n called out as she walked down the stairs to the courtyard. 

Gwayne looked away from Alicent, immediately moving his attention to her, "My queen. How may I be of assistance?"

"I wondered if, time permitting, we may speak?"

Alicent tilted her head, eyeing the girl closely. 

Gwayne nodded. "Even if time does not permit, I shan't leave the queen wanting. I am yours."

Alicent noted the smile that grazed her brother's face. She huffed and walked off, not bothering with a goodbye. 

Y/n sighed, "You were at the battle, fighting valiantly, I assume."

He nodded and spoke with his usual soft voice, "Indeed, I was."

"What happened?"

His head tilted and a curious look came to his eye, "I'm lost, I'm afraid.  Ask me plainly, my queen. I don't keep secrets, you know."

She looked over to Alicent and Cole speaking across the courtyard before looking back to the male Hightower. "Who truly harmed Aegon?"

His brows furrowed and he looked away for a moment, "I didn't get a look at it. I was too concerned with the fighting on the ground."

She sighed and nodded, "I had figured you would have been."

"You suspect foul play?"

She shrugged, "It's all foul play, ser."

He let out a soft chuckle, "You're right in that." He shifted his body weight in thought, "I know you're not looking for allies-"

"-I am, actually."

His brows furrowed again. "Ah. Well, I am not much, but I will be your eyes in the bannermen if you wish."

She smiled, "I'd like that very much, ser. I thank you, as does the crown."

"Your thanks is enough."

…

"You're really to go?" She asked with a frown. 

Aemond smirked, "I am needed to win this battle. Vhagar listens to no one else."

She sighed, "Aegon is furious with you, you know."

He shrugged, "So be it. I care not what he thinks anymore."

"That's your king, Aemond. Be careful with who you speak such things to."

"I am," he stated. "I'm speaking it to you, am I not?"

Her cheeks flushed, "Just don't get injured. Please. I wouldn't be able to sleep well at night if you did."

He grinned, "Promise."

…

"My queen, we must leave now!"

Her head shot up, "What? What's happened?"

…

"They mock me!" He growled.

"My love, they do not."

Aegon scoffed, "My brother and my hand makes plans without me. They do not ask me of anything."

"They mean it in good favor-"

"-What is good favor if it is not from your king!?"

She rubbed her forehead softly, "Perhaps let this one go, and reconvene when the battle is won."

"You've have me just let this go?"

"Drink some wine. Take a bath. Go see a whore. I dunno, Aegon."

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, "I'm a lousy king, aren't I?"

"You're doing just fine."

"Why doesn't it feel like it then?"

She paused, unsure of what to say. 

Alicent walked in, and Y/n stood. She kissed Aegon's forehead, "Give it thought, my love. You're as fearsome as any of them."

She moved past Alicent with a glare.

…

"GET THE WOMEN TO THE WHEELHOUSE!"

Alicent grabbed Helaena's hand, helping drag her down the stairs. 

Y/n joined them not long after, leaving from a different door.

Surrounded by guards, the three were dragged through the rioting crowd, occasionally grabbed by the people.

"Tis the queen of fishes!"

Something was thrown, smacking Alicent in the face. She gasped, but was ushered further on.

Alicent's iron grip made her not lose Helaena, but Y/n was quickly lost. 

She disappeared in the crowd, pushed left and right in panic. 

She felt someone grab her chin and pull her forward. "You'll sleep with anyone with a crown, won't you, pretty girl?" The voice sneered. 

She whined out, closing her eyes as if it would will it away. 

Hands moved everywhere, one tugging at her dress, tearing it from her shoulder with a loud rip. 

Hot tears ran down her face, not stopping even when a guard found her again and pushed the others away. He paused for just a moment to access her, "My queen!"

Only then did she see the guard's wide eyes and a white hot pain moved to her cheek. 

She reached up, her fingers coming back with bright red blood. 

Black clouded her vision. 

..................................................

part 4

taglist: @p45510n4f4shi0n, @darktrashsoulbear, @vieenr0se, @pez-unicorn, @marlenees-world, @thatbabydeer

[ineffable-suffering]

Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator

Part 1: The Story of Job

I'm absolutely not the first one to talk about this on here and I probably shan't be the last either. Alas, here's my take on why all of the minisodes in Season 2 should be enjoyed with great care – and taken with a grain of angelic salt.

I'm gonna split this into 3 parts, aka the three minisodes we are shown, since I tend to get a bit waffley in my posts and want to still be able to include all the little details. Once I've written them, I'll link Part 2 & Part 3 here as well!

Alright, let's get into it under the cut of doom.

Episode 2 opens with the Story of Job. Right off the bat, I noticed that it sort of looks like an old film playing. At first I didn't read that much into it, but once we see the cut-away to Aziraphale at the bookshop, currently reading that part of the Bible (presumably), I immediately thought: "Oh! It's because it's his memory. He's remembering how it went down and therefore it plays like a figurative film in his head."

This, I then came to realize, is a very crucial difference to all the flashbacks of S1, which were exclusively told and narrated by God. May her intensions be as ineffable as they are: She did tell us all of these stories from an objective outsider's point of view. Now, however, it's Aziraphale who's re-telling those stories to us from memory.

And if there's one thing that's for certain, it's that a memory is something entirely different to an objective narration of a story. Just think about how you yourself remember things. Especially things that happened years, maybe even decades (or, in an angel's case, millenia) ago. What is it, that you really remember? Can you know for sure, that a conversation was held with those exact words? Are you 100% certain that the clothes someone wore weren't different? Had it really been snowing or would that make very little sense given what you're remembering happened in May? And did it even happen in May? Or does that just happen to be your favourite month, the current weather, your preferred style of clothing and what it was that you would imagine someone would have said to you?

What I'm trying to say is: The further away it is that something happened, the more your brain has to fill in the gaps. This is why, for example, your parents will remember the family summer holiday entirely different when you ask them about it 20 years later.

"No, it was Sarah who puked on the car ride home!" "Nonsense, Sarah never puked as a child. Bobby had that gone-off pizza, he's the one that was sick the whole ride long!"

We've all been there. Bobby made it out alive. Don't buy gas station pizza.

Alright, back to the plot: Naturally, Aziraphale is not actually human, so it is a pure assumption on my part that the way his memory works is similar to ours. However, the whole topic of "memory" is actually quite a recurring one on Good Omens.

Crowley seems to have lost his in the Fall, yet somehow managed to get most of it back. Not all of it, though, he clearly has some major gaps ("You used to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat!"). Beelzebub helps Gabriel store all his memories in their little fly container before they get wiped entirely too, by the Metatron and/or Saraqael. Crowley and Aziraphale (and possibly Jimbriel) perform a miracle together that makes everyone in Heaven and Hell forget who Garbiel is or what he looks like. And we know that the Book of Life apparently has the ability to completely erase someone from existence – ergo also erasing them from everyone's memory and making it is as though the person had never been in them at all.

So, clearly, angels and demons being able to remember, forget, reconstruct and, if you're the Metadork, wipe memories, is very much canon. Apart from that very last one, it does make them quite human-like in a way. We too can forget or (wrongfully and incompletely) reconstruct memories, due to things like trauma, illness or simply a lot of time having passed.

So, just like Crowley remembers going into battle but doesn't remember Furfur being there, or just like Jimbriel has entierly forgotten who he is but still remembers the tune and lyrics to Buddy Holly's song Everyday, and just like archangel Michael was miraculously made to forget Gabriel and yet says "Don't I know you?" when seeing him again – just like that, Aziraphale's memories of the story of Job, the story of wee Morag and the story of the magic show in 1941, might not actually be the whole truth.

So, time to look at where the furniture isn't.

Now, it could very well be that the costume designers of S2 thought: "Fuck it, let's go crazy" – but given that this show has a track record of meticulously making sure to stick to accurate and cohesive character design, doesn't it strike you as odd that Crowley would go from this look at the Flood in Mesopotamia, 3004 BC:

... to the (very iconic, don't get me wrong) Bildad the Shuhuite drip in 2500 BC:

... back to this at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in 33 AD:

I mean ... I mean– come on, that seems like a bit of a far stretch, even for someone as enthusiastically experimental with fashion as Crowley.

And it's not just that: Where did the sunglasses come from, all of a sudden? And why do they look like some sort of obscure, ancient optometrist's device? It's a known historical fact that the Romans were the ones to have invented sunglasses, somewhere around 50-ish AD. Which actually matches perfectly with when Crowley and Aziraphale meet again in Rome 8 years after the crucifixion (51 AD).

So, where do the weird spectacles come from, over 2000 years too early? Maybe from Aziraphale's brain filling in some gaps? Hasn't Crowley always worn those ridiculous sunglasses? Was it Rome? Or Golgotha? Wessex? Oh, blimey, what does it matter!

And it's not just Crowley: Aziraphale's own clothes, as well as the other angels', seem to be very different from the rather plain linen we see him wear before and after the story of Job.

They're laced with golden embroidery along the neckline and sleeves. The remind almost of the clothes angels are depicted wearing in biblical and historical drawings. Ornate and decadent. Not at all like we see Aziraphale in the other flashbacks of S1.

Even Bildad the Shuhite's hair within the minisode keeps changing, going from all pouffy and voluminous to rather deflated and straight-looking:

The costume department either had to fix up two seperate wigs or manually straighten out the volume of the one again to give it a more sleek look. I'm not a professional in this field, but if there's anything I've learned from watching hours of behind-the-scenes material of movies and shows, it's that very little about costume, character, prop and set design is purely coincidental.

You know what it could be, though? An accurate representation of how memories aren't linear, historically correct and objective representations of a certain event, but rather an ever-changing, jumbled mess of impressions, emotions and exaggerations.

More specifically: Aziraphale's impression, emotions and exaggerations.

Like "remembering" Crowley with sunglasses because he's been wearing them for so long.

Like "remembering" himself wearing more luxurious, angelic clothes because that's how he thinks of the difference between Heaven and Hell.

Like "remembering" the permit as a ridiculously long scroll that folded out over an entire valley.

Like "remembering" Job's children to be weirdly sassy in an almost Aziraphale-esque way (Enon: "Don't be silly!") for the fact that Job would have probably taught them to be more humble and obedient in the presence of a literal angel.

Like "remembering" eating an entire fucking Ox after having just one bite of it while Crowley watched him lustfully, sipping on his wine.

Like "remembering" Crowley calling him 'angel', despite them having barely known each other back then.

There's a reason why the flashbacks in S2 seem so much more alive, quirky and, at many points, confusing and all over the place. Because they're not objective stories being told by a third party. They're Aziraphale's. So much of his own thoughts and feelings at the time get projected onto them because that's simply how memory works!

It's subjective. It's unrealiable.

It's not that I'm calling Aziraphale a liar. He's no more a liar than your parents are, mixing up Sarah and Bobby. Or you, remembering snow instead of sunshine. Memories aren't lies. They can simply be faulty, focus on things that you thought were more important and leaving out or changing things that weren't, to you.

The real challenge in all of this, is trying to filter through Aziraphale's stories to see what it actually is they're telling us. Where it is that the furniture isn't. And I think in this case, that's 6 main things (eff you, God, I know you like sevens, but I don't care):

God and Satan (still) talk to each other We see that Aziraphale is quite surprised when Muriel mentions that the whole Job thing is God's bet with Satan. But clearly, despite having made him and the rest fall, God still converses with Her number one traitor about whether or not the humans simply love Her because she gives them nice things or because they truly believe in Her.

God and Satan (and Heaven and Hell) can and do collaborate with each other when they feel like it So much for choosing sides, huh? Truthfully, this is not the first time this is shown to us, but still. It's another piece of evidence on the growing pile.

Aziraphale understands the World and humans way better than any of the other angels "Well, you see ... Citis is 58 ..."

Aziraphale, despite having troubles voicing it, absolutely disagrees and even condemns God's plan of destroying Job's children (and goats and camels and––)

Aziraphale is willing to lie and thwart the will of God Also not the first time we're being shown this but again, piiiile of evidence.

Angels don't automatically Fall simply by doing the above To me, this is one of the most important take aways. It's already hinted in S1 as well that 'Falling' seems to have been a one time even back when the first war broke out in Heaven. And I actually believe that ever since then, no other angels have Fallen again. Aziraphale is the best example for this. He has gone against God's plan numerous times and even lied to her very face (voice?) about it. And yet, nothing ever happened to him. Why exactly that is the case remains a topic for another meta (that I might or might not be working on already, teehee).

Alright, that concludes this first look at the Job minisode! If there's anything I missed, feel free to share it with me. I'll try and add Part 2 (the story of wee Morag) and Part 3 (the magic show of 1941) soon.

Update: Part 2 and Part 3 have officially been written, you can find it them right here:

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941

Hugs and kisses, (God)!

[thedepthsoffandomminds]

Clumsy girl.

Request: Fluff, Fluffy Fluff Fluff please. Jack Dawkins and reader, she's a clumsy lady from town who is friends with Hetty. Belle is still in it but they don't have a relationship. Jack secretly likes reader. You can choose the storyline etc.

"Oh y/n what have you done this time?" Hetty asks as you walk up to her.

"What do you mean, I'm perfectly well." You say, words slightly slurred. Hetty reached up to your head, pushing back your hair to look at the wound.

"y/n?" She sighs. You smile at her and shrug, "come on." She takes your shoulder and leads you further into the hospital. Before she could get you to the ward you see Jack jumping down the back staircase, from the doctor's residency rooms.

"Oh good afternoon y/n. Look at your head. Come upstairs." He takes your arm from Hetty, "Thank you nurse." He says to his long time friend.

"umm excuse me you can't just take patients up there." A very posh and very annoyed voice calls over to you both.

"No worries Lady Belle. She is a friend. We shan't be a moment." Jack sarcastically grinned at the blonde woman and continued walking.

"Who is that?" You ask.

"The Governor's daughter, fancies herself a surgeon. Sneed let's her waltz around cause he wants to bed her." He laughed.

"ha, always trying to get one over, isn't he." You say as Jack leads you into his bedroom. You sit down on the end of the bed and Jack darts to his table where he grabs some cloths and bandages. He sits beside you, one leg folded below him.

"What happened this time, y/n?" He asks as he takes a better look at your head wound.

"Oh, you know me, I tripped, the table was I'm sure two feet to the left." You say. Jack looks down at you, concern painted across his eyes.

"y/n, you're not yourself. Lay down." He stands and guides you by the shoulders to the pillow.

"Jack if you wanted me in your bed all you have to do is ask." You say, eyes feeling heavy.

"Alright, you just lay back and rest I'll stitch this up for you okay." His voice is hardly higher than a whisper. The comfort of his feather pillows draws you to sleep.

When at last you stir and open your eyes you see Jack close by sitting in a wooden dining chair, his feet propped up on the end of the bed beside him Hetty stands, a hand on her hip and one fiddling with her apron. You stayed still to listen to them.

"I do worry about her. Could there be something worse happening?" The nurse and your long time friend asked him.

"I don't know, when she's here we never see her fall or stumble." Jack narrowed his lips and clenched his jaw.

"You think, she only has her father at home." Hetty explained. The pair fell silent and Hetty leaves the room.

"I know you're awake, y/n." Jack pulls his legs back and leans forward.

"How?" You ask opening your eyes.

"your breathing changed." He grinned.

"Doctor Dawkins, please don't think bad of my father, I really am clumsy." You say.

"Yes well, unfortunately for.him, I have decided that he can't have you back. I want you to stay here." Jack moved so he was crouching in front of you.

"For how long?" You ask. Jack helps you to sit up in the bed.

"Well actually, indefinitely." He explains. Panic makes your heart beat rapidly inside your chest.

"No, I can't do that. He needs...I couldn't..." you start to push the sheets back to get out of bed but Jack takes your hands.

"y/n, you have...what if I... I'd very much like you to be here." Jack struggles to find the words.

"It's okay, Doctor I really have no skills to help in the hospital so I could never pay for the health care." You protest once again pushing yourself off the bed.

"No, you don't understand." Jack stands, a hand on his hip and the other rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm not very good at this at all. I don't want you to stay here as a patient." He tries again.

"Then as what? A servant? I'm a good cook-"

"No!" He cuts you off, "Not as a servant as my...well as my wife." He finally says, dropping his chin to his chest. You stop and stand still looking up to him. You couldn't describe the feeling that shuddered throughout your body.

"Why...but we don't, I mean you have not..." It was your turn to lose the ability to speak. Jack took two large steps toward you and took your hands in his.

"I have liked you since the moment I first saw you, but I never thought you'd feel the same for me. I figured you'd have a long list of suitors but I can't do this anymore, y/n. I can't keep seeing you come in here bruised and battered by some old man who doesn't treat you exactly how you should be."

Unsure how to reply you slip back onto the bed trying to work out what he was saying. Jack crouched in front of you.

"I have no money and nothing to offer you but this room, and a husband who would love you." He says.

"You love me?" You ask with a smile. Jack lets out a single laugh

"I've been trying to find a way of telling you for a long time." He smiles.

"Well, we will need some things in here, a woman's touch and it could look quite lovely." You say looking around yourself.

"Is, is that a yes?" Jack asks.

"Yes Jack, I'll marry you."

[fisheito]

*rings the service bell* hi um i was wondering.. if there's any yakumo temperature play in here? sounds silly but i only realised after i circled the building a few times... that i haven't seen it at all. Seems to be common practice, actually- to not have it. i've visited several other buildings and there's been no sight of it.

which is... strange? if i think about it, it's surprising that i haven't encountered it yet! it sort of makes sense to have them together, you know? considering that temperature is so vital to a snake's perception of the world. and how sensitive reptiles are to temperature fluctuations.

so there's a lot of control to be had here. can you imagine controlling someone's energy level just by adjusting the thermostat? er- well, i guess we already do that. but imagine you put yakumo in an ice bath and he immediately falls asleep. brumation happens instantly now, sorry. and the only way to snap him out of it is to stick a flaming dildo up his ass

what?. no, i mean, restore his regular energy level with a soft warm-up. a heated blanket and a gentle steam. hahaha.

people plunge themselves into ice water before jumping into hot tubs and vice versa- for fun! they do this recreationally!! they call it a "spa treatment" and pay a premium for it! what's wrong with giving yakumo a spa treatment? who are we to deprive him of such sensory luxury?

i'm JUST SAYING that since he naturally gravitates toward heat, you could put him in a hurt AND comfort scenario he could be naked and cold, banished to the distant corner of the room.. but when you offer him a source of warmth, whether that be a hot rock or a warm hand or 20 lit candles suspended above him dripping wax on him at random intervals,,, wouldn't he have a tough time turning down your generosity?

i mean, he certainly would if he was tied up.

see, here's the other thing i cannot quite comprehend-- it's that--- how has a snake yokai not featured bondage scenes yet? i guess there was that one time with the.. hm. no, we shan't talk about the cellar. besides, ONLY ONE TIME is unacceptable for a sentient rope!! although yakumo would love to wrap up his prey and squeeze the cum out of em, i feel like we're missing out on a lot by not OutSnaking the Snake. tie up and restrain the Restrainer. it's just a liiiiittle step farther than putting him in a pillowcase! so mild!!!!

here's a guy who is always worried about losing control/// about being free to wreak havoc on his loved ones, despite his best intentions. so how about we give him a moment of peace? a moment where he believes he's subdued and unable to cause harm? just tie him up! keep him under TIGHT lock and key. (or some nice soft cloths for his sensitive skin, if we're being nice.) honestly, his brain will do the rest of the work. even if he's not truly incapacitated, his desire to BE So can fill the gaps in any questionable knotwork.

while he's half in the prison of his mind and half in the confines you've created for him, take some time to squeeze some whimpers out of him. although it pains me to cover up those soggy eyes, a blindfold may be an intriguing option. is yakumo the type of snake to rely on heat vision? WHY NOT FIND OUT! (if he's not terrified at his loss of sight, then i guess his pit organs are functioning . in which case, the blindfold doesn't really need to stay on. if he IS terrified and feels the loss of visuals acutely, this would be an excellent opportunity to soak in his panic. just for a bit though. we're not so cruel. guide him back with a warm touch. see? playing with fire temperature contrasts can bring such relief!)

maybe i'm getting ahead of myself. i don't expect yakumo temperature play to show up WITH bondage , why- that would be asking a lot, right?

but the basics are simple enough, yes? give the wretched creature the comforting warmth he wants, then perhaps inch closer to something bordering uncomfortable? Too Much? have him seek out what he craves, only to be burned (metaphorically and/or literally) if he indulges himself too much? oops! someone's become a slave to their senses!

i'm just saying that the sensory perception of yokai vs kink is (relatively) unknown territory. if temperature play already messes with humans, what could it possibly do to yakumo? he could experience it in facets unknown to others.-=- to levels others are incapable of appreciating---- like someone with synesthesia who can experience music with another layer of enjoyment.

if you give a snake ice cream, followed by a hot piece of meat [unknown origin], it'll really make him aware of the contrast, hmm??????

anyway. sorry about that. i'm not super clear on the specifics of it all. i just thought it peculiar that i haven't seen the yaku-hot-cold-sensitivity-finagling. out there, in here, nowhere as far as i've seen..

...or is it located in a part of the building i overlooked? if so, could you direct me there? i would really appreciate it.

if you don't have it after all, that's ok. i'll keep a careful watch now that i know what i'm looking for. maybe it's one of those things where, once i actively search for it, i'll notice it everywhere! wouldn't that be delightful!

with that, i guess i'll be on my way. thanks for your patience. yeah, i hope i find it too. have a good one!!

[gingersnaptaff]

(Okay, so I know I said I was gonna do marriage laws and queenship stuff in regards to welsh laws - and I will! - but here is a nice, quick round-up about BARDS

*SHREDS ON A HARP*

Okay, so this is inspired by @gawrkin 's recent posts on bards because the laws surrounding them are SUPER FUN. And Wales LOVES LOVES LOVES their bards. (Myself included.)

Right, so, without further ado, ONWARDS.

*shreds harp aggressively again*

So the 'spurious triads' the author is referring to are presumably to do with IOLO MORGANNWG *ominous thunderclap*.

I shan't go too much into him as suffice to say, we gotta keep this shit SHORT, but he was a massive forger from Glamorgan (that's what Morgannwg means. It's his bardic name. Iolo is Edward.) who made up a bunch of triads and Celtic / medieval manuscripts including some of the Welsh Triads. Also, he is the reason why the Eisteddfod has the Gorsedd of bards.

So a mixed bag, y'know.

ANYWAY. They're very high-rank on account of being the literally Yellow Pages of Celtic and medieval Welsh societies. If you had a question that needed answering you'd ask a bard. They were like Google. They would know a man's lineage (and Welsh lineages are confusing. There were men named Dafydd ap Dafydd ap Dafydd ap Dafydd. No, I'm not joking.) battles, monarchs, myths, songs, stories. Anything.

And they had to SING. And play an instrument. Namely either a harp or a crwth.

This baby is crwth! It's a little like a violin but much darker in tone. They were extinct for a while but they've undergone a revival and they are FUN!

Also, the court bard had to SING to the queen about Camlann 'in a low voice.' I've heard various reasons suggested as to why and one of them is to remind her that Gwenhwyfar's infidelity was the main reason for King Arthur's downfall, but I think it's probably because of The Slap. Idk though. I'm just guessing, buddies.

Still, it's cool that the queen got a special sing-song.

Also, the bard being 'invested with a chess board' suggests to me that the game of Gwyddbwyll that Arthur and Owain play in the Mabinogion signals that they're bards. Gwyddbwyll being the type of chess the bards would've been familiar with. Plus, we know Arthur is somewhat of an amateur bard (Culhwch and Olwen being the prime example where he sings his terrible englyn about Cai to his face. Arthur, ur a fuckin BASTARD.) so it's in keeping with his character.

Also, I think it's adorable that the harp 'always descended to the youngest son.'

If you want a story that deals with bards and their privileged position in Welsh society and also wants ur heart RIPPED OUT may I suggest 'The Assembly of the Severed Head' by Hugh Lupton. It deals with a bard in a monastery after he's almost perished in a raid and the monks writing out the Mabinogion so they can give it to Llywelyn Fawr. It deals with war, love, loss, and also stonking good historical context. Also lots of poetry!!!!

Final fact: bards in Wales weren't wiped out by Edward the First. That's a fuckin myth. Don't come round here with ur fuckin myths. Old Longshanks has done enough already. May he eat shit.

(Also, Taliesin gets all the good rep but what about my boy Aneirin?)

Okay, BYEEEEE!!!!

P.S.: have an Eisteddfod chair!

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Fujitsumon

Debut: Digimon Pendulum 2.0 Deep Savers (kind of. It's a little complicated. But don't worry about that)

Fujitsumon is a darling little eyes-in-a-void barnacle! With their brown exteriors, they really do bring to mind Jawas, world-renowned eyes-in-a-void creature. This is a rare design choice for a barnacle, and a barnacle is a rare creature inspiration choice! Too rare! They are such incredible and fascinating animals, and should absolutely be represented as such, and not just background decorations!

Fujitsumon is essentially a Digimon by technicality, an accessory of a creature, and I'm fine with that. They're acknowledged as creatures, and that's enough for me! They're almost always seen attached to the surface of another creature, and that sure is barnacle of them!

This is their host, Octomon! Or Octmon, if you don't like the dub name, but I think Octomon sounds better. Octomon wears a clay pot on its head, and Fujitsumon live on top of that! This is a smart setup. If I lived underwater I would love to wear a hat that some barnacle friends of mine could live on! Fujitsumon and Octomon have a mutualistic relationship going on, where the barnacles will sense danger, and warn the octopus of it, getting the whole group out of danger!

The reason I wasn't so sure about Fujitsumon's debut is that in Deep Savers, Octomon's sprite looks like this, not nearly detailed enough to even depict some barnacles! However, it does seem like the official art was made around this time, so I might as well consider this Fujitsumon's debut too.

There isn't much to Fujitsumon, but I love it! It's cute, it's a barnacle, and it's almost a "secret" creature, and that makes it, dare I say, even more fun than if it was a standalone obtainable Digimon! A charming little oddity in the digital world.

That's what I thought until I found out this little barnacle has a whole dedicated ANIME EPISODE! YEEHAW! This is the best barnacle-related cartoon episode I've ever seen! Better than SpongeBob SquarePants episode 164a Barnacle Face! Why, even better than Benny the Barnacle (2022)! Can you believe it? Better than Benny the Barnacle? I can.

In this episode of Digimon Ghost Game, the human protagonist is tormented by premonitions of disasters occurring to everyone around him, revealed to be caused by a Fujitsumon settled on his head. A land mammal is no place for a barnacle! Wouldn't it be crazy if you could go to the beach and leave with a barnacle settled on your fingernail? What would you even do? I would probably feel obligated to dip my finger into the ocean regularly to let it filter-feed. If only we had air plankton!

This Fujitsumon, as well as others that are affecting other humans, come from one particular Octomon, who got so angry at his barnacles that they Left. These are no real-life, cemented-in-place-for-the-rest-of-their-lives barnacles! They can just get up and leave if they're bothered. I bet real barnacles wish they could do that! It would be so embarrassing to end up settled right next to a turtle's... hehe... I shan't say...!

Octomon's petty outburst was over his magic brain barnacles not using their clairvoyance to help him win at a mobile game. Now, because of his Gamer Moment, there are Fujitsumon stuck directly to peoples' heads, which can cause these heads to explode. Maybe he should have just played a good mobile game, like Pico Pets Puzzle! *high fives someone offscreen*

Don't worry! Everything's ok in the end, like it always is with invertebrate friends! Octomon apologizes, the lead Fujitsumon gathers the whole crusty crew, and everything is fine except for the physical damage that has already been done, but don't worry! The virtual invertebrates are all friends again! Squishy or chitinous, none of us have spines, and that's what matters!

If you know of any obscure barnacles in media, please let me know in the notes! And until the next high tide, remember to close your armored plates to prevent dessication!

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I would like to request something for cotl

A follower Leshy with a reader who is kind of a plant worm like him but they're always covered in flowers and herbs that can be used for medicine, like, it grows out of them and they give the flowers and herbs to lamb as their way of helping in the cult among other simple tasks.

"Hello [y/n], may I have some-"

"NO!! They're busy, stupid Lamb!" Leshy snarled, turning his head in the direction of his "leader's" voice, wishing he could scowl at them. "If you want camellia, go find them in the land you robbed from-!!"

"Leshy, it's okay. What do you need, Great Leader?"

"....what..?"

Your fellow bagworm was dumbfounded as Lamb calmly requested some mint leaves from you. Nodding, you carefully plucked some of the freshly-grown herbs from your arm and handed a bunch to them.

They graciously thanked you, saying it'll be an excellent ingredient in the tea they wanted to brew, before walking away.

Leshy, on the other hand, was displeased at your actions.

While you were both the same species, you had a unique magical ability that allowed you to grow flowers, herbs, and many other plant-based resources from your own body.

They were painless to pluck off when they've fully sprouted, and quite frankly...it's better that you did so during that time.

Otherwise, you'd constantly be weighed down and unable to see where you were going..

You were once Leshy's follower, the head of medicinal operations in Darkwood, so he was understandably furious when he arrived and saw you here in the cult as well.

He firmly believes that Lamb "stole" you to abuse you as a resource, rather than treat you like a person.

Yet when he pointed this out, you simply laughed.

But he was dead serious.

"Stop laughing! You can be honest with your former leader. Admit it...you're tired of them taking and taking from you!"

"Oh Leshy, that's complete and utter nonsense." You shook your head. "Lamb has never once taken any flower or herb from me by force. I'm giving them away out of my own volition. Darkwood grows more dangerous everyday, so why should they risk they safety to gather camellia when they can just ask me for some?"

He scoffed in response. "At least put a price on your flowers if you're just going to give them away all the time.."

You were about to respond to him, when you saw one follower approaching you. They seemed to be blushing, eyes shifting around to ensure the coast was clear before speaking to you.

"[Y/n]? Sorry to interrupt, but I..I-I think I'm in love with someone!" They stammered, hiding their face in their hands for a moment, looking back up at you. "But they don't know I exist....may I please have some flowers to woo them with?"

Leshy was silent as he glanced in your direction, wondering if you were going to take his advice.

"Sure! But it'll cost you.."

He quietly snickered, seeing the follower looking quite nervous as they started fishing for change in their robe pockets.

"....just kidding, my friend. Lucky for you I've grown a bunch here." With some small clippers, you trimmed the bottoms of the camelia stems, gathering about four of them before handing them all to the follower. "Be sure to tie them into a bouquet so they don't get lost to the wind." You winked. "Best of luck to you."

"Oh thank you! Thank you!! I shan't forget this!" They squealed in joy, a bright grin on their face as they hugged you for a few quick seconds.

Then, with the flowers clutched closely to their chest, they dashed off to bequeath this gift to their crush.

"Unbelievable."

"Leshy, that's enough." With a frown, you turned to the ex-bishop, growing a tad bit annoyed with his whiny attitude. Since you were both on an equal plane now, you could talk back to him without fearing any consequences. "You're acting like you're the one growing flowers out of your head. Why does this bother you so much?"

"....it just..does, alright? But if you're okay with being a walking garden for all these unworthy morsels-"

"I am very content with my role here, thank you very much." You smiled politely, wanting this conversation to be over with. "Now, don't you have a morgue to attend to?"

"That's my brother's job.." He grumbled, glancing over at the pit of corpses, shuddering. "Damn him for going on a "spiritual journey" at this hour. I may be the youngest, but at least I don't run away from my responsibilities!"

"Right. So...what's stopping you from going over there? Those bodies aren't doing any good lying in that pit.."

"Have you been over there recently? It reeks." Leshy shuddered in disgust. "I can't go anywhere near that pit of rot. The smell alone makes me wanna vomit.."

"Then...would it help if I planted some roses around it to absorb the stench?"

He did a double-take. "Huh?? Since when did you grow roses???"

"Just recently." You chuckled softly, holding up your arm so he could see the blood-red rose buried in your leafy exterior. "I've followed you for years, Leshy, and yet..somehow I keep surprising you."

"You sure do." Sighing, he smiled a bit and decided to accompany you to the morgue, hoping your roses would do a good job masking the awful smells.

Even though he knew exactly where it was, he ended up holding onto your arm as you both walked.

Until now, Leshy never noticed how lovely you smelled, surrounded by aromas that weren't too overwhelming for him at all. If anything..it felt rather comforting.

He couldn't even scent the dead bodies anymore--there was only you and your beautiful flowers.

It seems Lamb's cult allowed you to tap into your full plant magic potential.

[maximumzombiecreator]

Hi! Maybe you've said it before, but do you know of a good resource to learn the basics of mega dungeon design? Is there any like, guidebooks or something you would reccomend? There seems to be a lot to keep in mind

There are a few different guides I've seen over the years, and I mostly think that they're not very good. For instance, 2nd edition AD&D had a Dungeon Builder's Guidebook, and I went and glanced at my copy to see if I could recommend it here, and I don't think there's much of value in here? I've also seen some bloggers try to lay out some ideas and develop megadungeons of their own. Some of these have looked good! And some of them... had different philosophies to the ones that I would have gone with.

That said, I shan't leave you without anything useful.

The first thing I'm going to call out is that your dungeon is going to change and evolve as you run it. And I don't just mean in terms of how play evolves the space, you're going to end up making changes as you go. In fact, early versions of the DMG basically state that you only really need to have one floor ahead of your players done. Wings of the dungeon further from your players can be a rough sketch of how spaces relate to each other, and if they're a cul-de-sac they don't really need anything at all besides that they exist. Factions, similarly, can be developed as things go on. You only really need to know how they relate to the parts of the dungeon the players can get to early on. I also really like developing factions as play continues. It's not unusual for me to introduce new factions in the progress of play, especially if the players do something that might cause that.

The second thing is this: only do the parts you're excited about. Steal or generate the rest. This may be an odd thing to say, as a girl who has been posting nonstop about megadungeons for weeks now, but I don't actually like making dungeons very much. I like running them, but the actual dungeon creation is kind of a chore. There are great tools for this, though. Atelier Clandestine includes a megadungeon generator in their sandbox generator that I hear is quite good. The last time I made a megadungeon from scratch, huge chunks of it were just Dyson Logos maps stitched together, with only a handful of rooms I made from scratch, either as connectors or specific weird things I wanted. Similarly, for initially stocking rooms, I'll often use random tables to figure stuff out. A bunch of these are from old G+ OSR blogs and stuff like that, but if you go looking for roll tables of weird stuff for dungeons, you'll find a lot of interesting stuff.

The third thing is to just iterate. Start with a vague sketch of the dungeon. What are the zones and how do they connect? What are the general factions, and what do they want? Then, in passes, make it more specific. Fill in one area, flesh out one faction, populate some rooms. As you're doing thing, think about how they interconnect and interrelate. When you decide something about one faction, that'll inform relationships to the other. When you iterate the layout of one zone, that'll inform its connections to others, etc. And you'll keep doing this iteration as you run the dungeon, it really never stops.

Finally, here's a checklist of stuff I like to make sure I'm thinking about. But it's your dungeon, so I would highly encourage figuring out what your own checklist looks like.

Zones. How are they distinct from each other, and what do they have for players and NPCs to want? I'm happiest when I could describe a room to my players and they can know what zone it's in just from the description.

Factions. Who are they, and what do they want? I find these work best when allying with any one faction implies causing tension with at least one other, and when there are no factions with whom allying is completely uncomplicatedly good.

Connections. How do different parts of the dungeon connect, and what are some interesting connections? Things like shortcuts that can be unlocked, one way connections, unconventional connections, ones that require unusual forms of movement to use, or special powers.

Cool stuff. Both in terms of cool stuff to use, and cool problems to overcome. Loot falls in this category, as well as big cool things to interact with in the dungeon. Here's an apparatus that permanently polymorphs anyone who goes inside. Here's a circle that fully heals anyone who enters at the cost of aging you a random amount. Here's a powerful treasure in a box submerged in a lake of acid. Stuff for the players to play with and come back to.

As long as I have those things I'm happy, so as I'm iterating I'll look at my list and see if there's anything I need to add or spice up. And then once I'm at the table, I'll often find I want to make changes and I'll tune things between sessions. Nothing is set until the players have observed it, so if I find my players are coming up to a wing of the dungeon and I'm not happy with how I expect it'll play out, I can always change it.

[wee-chlo]

Durge having chronic migraines after they move to Waterdeep with Gale. Mostly due to the severe brain damage but also the difference in atmosphere/humidity/temperature.

And they're Miserable, it's awful, its like.... weekly but Gale's so happy here, teaching and reconnecting with family and making new friends. He wants to have dinner parties and who wants to host a dinner party with a spouse who gets headaches from where their kind of sister/sort of cousin gouged a hole in their skull to put a mindflayer tadpole in their brain? So they hide it for as long as possible.

Until Gale comes home early one day and finds them curled up in the dark, basically nonverbal and utterly exhausted.

Gale's had more than a few cluster headaches in the past and his mother gets migraines so he has some idea of how to properly fuss. Makes cold compresses for Dirge's neck and to place over their eyes, keeps the room dark and his voice soft, keeps them hydrated. Washes off the cologne he wears and changes clothes so that there isn't any strong smells and as much as he wants to hold Durge, he keeps the physical touch to a minimum, especially around the head and face.

He ends up settling into the armchair next to the couch they're curled up in, mage hand summoned to turn the pages of his book so that he can hold their hand while the hours tick by.

He isn't thrilled by all of this, when Durge is coherent enough to talk to him about it. They're married after all; taking care of each other is part of the deal. His simulacrum can handle a few classes if Durge needs him home. Hells, his students would probably welcome a day or two of the damn thing over him.

"You didn't sign up for this though," Durge mumbles from their place on the couch, head sandwiched between two cold compresses, and Gale is frankly offended.

"I must have forgotten when you held a knife to my throat and demanded I propose marriage to you," he says sarcastically. "Or perhaps you forged my signature on the certificate while I was out cold? More of an Astarion move, I would think, but the two of you are close so I shan't assume-"

"I can't get up to smack you," Durge grumbles. "No fair." Gale rolls his eyes, fondness and exasperation warring in his chest as he ladles out the soup he's made for dinner

"I really do hate to bring it up," he says more gently, putting the bowl of soup on the table by the couch. "But you did try and kill me before. Made a truly valiant effort; lots of poetic descriptions of precisely what you wanted to do as well. I didn't seem for several days afterwards. So compared to that, this is fairly mild." He takes their hand in his and presses a kiss to it. "Well and truly within the bounds of the standard wedding vows, I'd say."

"That's different," Durge insists, rather ridiculously Gale thinks. "I'm supposed to be normal now. Not..." they groan and gesture broadly at themself.

"Gorgeous?" Gale provides teasingly. "Wonderful? Exactly who I want to wake up beside every day for the rest of my life?"

"Broken."

Ah. The perfect word to describe Gale's heart right at this moment, watching his love's shoulders hunch and their lips press tightly together in an effort to keep their ragged breaths from slipping out of their control.

"You're not broken," Gale says softly. "You're healing. There's a difference." He cradles Durge's hand like a baby bird, pondering. "Or, I suppose if you're broken, I am as well. Just differently. All of us are. How could we not be, after what we've been through? What we've done and seen? But if not for that, we wouldn't be together, would we? I'd be Gale of Waterdeep, you'd be the Butcher of Baldur's Gate. We'd never know each other and what we wonders we would achieve." He pressed a kiss to their palm, letting it curl to cup his cheek gently.

"Broken or no, our pieces fit together quite well, I think."

"Sappy," Durge says, but they're smiling and that's what matters.

[bite-sized-devil]

I was listening to Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend and my head was thinking human au demon bros stealing mc from they’re boyfriend. Like the bros just ruining all they’re dates and seducing mc

Omg this is so funny! I love where your head is at anon. Ok so I'm so sorry this took me a while, I originally wrote heaps more for each but then decided to shorten them and release the longer versions later! You've tickled me with this idea 😂☺️

WARNING +18 MDNI. Not all are NSFW but still you know minors fuck off. 🫵🖕✌️

Date 1: You're waiting for your uber, it's late. It finally shows but not in the car you thought you ordered. Shocker it's Mammon. He's stealing you away to a date night you hadn't planned. Guess what, your boyfriend isn't invited.

Date 2: What's better then a cute date with your bf in the park! Barely anyone else in sight besides a big beefy orange haired dude jogging far off in the distance. Aww your boyfriend wants you to pose for a picture, ok time to look cute. Oh no, that jogger is no longer so distant. In fact he's so close he's picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder and then sprinting away. All your boyfriend is left with is the pretty flower he picked for you and the ringing in his ears from you screaming Beel's name.

Date 3: It's getting hot and heavy with your boyfriend after a perfect date. You're making out and stripping each other's clothing, teeth clashing, arms flailing. Your boyfriend gets a work call he has to take, leaving you pouting. Left in your room waiting for him. Unbeknownst to you Belphie has entered your room, he wraps his arms around you from behind and kisses your neck. You purr at his touch, thrilled your boyfriends work call didn't take to long. He doesn't let you turn around, which you find odd but it's kind of hot so you go along with it. You find your self pinned to the bed, panties ripped off, and moaning as he slides he cock back and forwards through your soaked folds. Try explaining this to your boyfriend when he walks in and finds Belphie balls deep inside your pussy fucking you from behind, moaning a name that isn't his.

Date 4: A date at the movies with your beau, cuddling up next to one another and eating popcorn and drinking soft drink. How could that go wrong? It's strange that you and your boyfriend are the only ones here. Even weird is the fact that when someone does eventually come they sit directly beside you. Odd? Why would he select a ticketed seat right next to someone when the entire theatre is free. It finally clicks when you hear his all to familiar voice. He's gesturing wildly at the screen, saying how the it's exactly like the first movie only the landscape has changed. You'd be more annoyed if you didn't actually agree with him. He's even stealing your popcorn and drinking your drink. It is a bit cute the way he blushes and flusters when your hands touch on the arm rest between you. He jerks away and covers his face with both hands. To your boyfriends absolute shock he sees you pry the purple haired annoyance's hands away from his face and reassure him it's fine if you two hold hands.

Date 5: A romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant, your boyfriend really went all out. He's even wearing a suit and tie, clearly he wants to get lucky to tonight. You've been sitting an chatting for a while and looking at the menu. Your partner orders you both some wine, before you dine (I'd apologise for that but I shan't). It arrives, a different waiter from before, this one tall and auspiciously blonde. Oops it's to late, he's already spilt wine all down your boyfriends white shirt. No, he's not apologising. He's sitting down next to you and telling your date to run home and get changed, he shouldn't be seen looking like a slob with such a beautiful date.

Date 6: You meet your boyfriend at a club for dancing. What's hotter then grinding up on each other while slightly intoxicated, and heavy makeout sessions on the slightly less lighted side of the room. Excusing yourself to get another drink you come back to where you left him. He's no longer their, that's odd? You scan the dancefloor, your mouth falling open when you find him. Well isn't that the hottest thing you've ever seen. Asmo the sneaky fuck has pulled your boyfriend into a trance. They are both pressed tightly against each other, Asmo's tongue is jammed so far down your boyfriend's throat you're worried it's stuck there. You move closer to them, your body moving of its own accord. Not wanting to be a bystander any longer you join them, sandwiched between both of them. This night is turning out way different to what you had planned.

Date 7: You just straight up ghost your boyfriend. You didn't mean too! You swear! But, Lucifer called you... And well you've never been very good at saying no to him. Actually, he's not very good with hearing a no from you. You didn't want to displease him, but then the time go away from you. Before you know it it was way to late to call your boyfriend. And to be honest you were a little bit preoccupied with your little phone call with the eldest brother. Somehow you ended up in your bed naked and touching yourself but only when he told you too, stopping if he asked for it too. So no actually you probably won't be calling your boyfriend after this. You are 100% sure Lucifer wouldn't allow it.

Thank you so much for sending me this little thought anon! You inspired me ☺️ hope you like how it turned out, I sure did 💕🌻

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it ☺️ Likes, comments, and reblogs are so appreciated! 🌻 Please don't repost, that shit won't fly here. I'll annoy the absolute shit out of you. If you would like to join the tag list please fill in my dumb little form.

Tagging: @delphi-dreamin @sassykattery @alexxavicry @your-next-daydream @rosanism @marvelous-maniac @i-hardly-know @kyungjoon-do @ria-demon29 @itsmeninerz @allielozoya @spookyscaryskeletonn @zarakem @soapbooger @attic-club-sandwich @yuujispinkhair @tea-time-writes

[vickyvicarious]

ooooh, I love Patrick Hennessey's voice!

Renfield getting possessive over Dracula... or possibly just recognizing that the boxes being taken away means Dracula might leave too, and he wants to prevent that.

kfjsldf Renfield is so good at managing the staff here. politely gaslighting them to believe he's oblivious to his own actions then escaping

OHkay the dull thuds were quite awful when he's slamming the guy's head into the ground

"you know I'm no lightweight" between this and Seward knocking Renfield off with one punch I now find myself imagining them like. wrestling each other for fun or something at least once. (jack would have gotten very bisexual about it and then refused to look dr. hennessey in the face for days probably)

"'I'll frustrate them! They shan't rob me! they shan't murder me by inches! I'll fight for my Lord and Master!'" I love how rough his voice sounds here, so different from usual. Also the murder me by inches is such a vivid and bleak way to describe being deprived of the chance at supernatural life.

sorry for your finger, Hardy

YES, the first of the very thirsty men who are suddenly more relaxed when given a drink. it's so funny

but really, Hennessey managed that very well. his quick smoothing over and attention to detail could be really helpful if anyone decided to sue them or something over this.

the phonograph noises at the beginning of Jack's entry at first made me think they were at the end of Hennessey's report, and it would be very funny if Jack insisted on getting his report in phonograph form. That, or Hennessey just wanted to take the chance to see what all the fuss was about.

...and then Jack started speaking and all amusement was lost. God, he's wrecked.

the stop and scoff before "too miserable" GODDDD

"the flapping of the wings of the angel of death" yeah he's been flapping a lot the bastard

but really, the way Jack lists them off, so bitterly, damn it's horrible

is he drinking? or trying to keep from crying? I mean he's definitely doing that either way but

the shake on "we must not all break down"

van Helsing speaking SO GENTLY to Arthur, auuugh

"You shall lie on one, and I on the other, and our sympathy will be comfort to each other, even though we do not speak, and even if we sleep." this is so sweet, I can't believe I'd forgotten about it

"in this room, as in the other," of course, it makes sense not to keep Lucy in her own bedroom, where the windows are shattered and where her mother died... but I wonder where she is. Did I miss a line about it somewhere? A part of me imagines Mrs. Westenra's room, which would mean they both die in one another's beds. :(

NOT THE TEETH

"Her teeth, in the dim, uncertain light, seemed longer... and sharper than they had been in the morning. In particular - by some trick of the light, the canine teeth looked... longer... and sharper than the rest." he repeats 'longer and sharper' twice, and especially the second time sounds so... nearly fascinated. It reminds me of Jonathan describing Dracula.

"there came a sort of dull flapping or buffeting at the window" there he is, the flappy asshole. angel of death himself.

"It struck me as curious that the moment she became conscious she pressed the garlic flowers close to her. It was certainly odd that whenever she got into that lethargic state, with the stertorous breathing, she put the flowers from her; but that when she waked she clutched them close." SHE'S TRYING. GOD I WANNA CRY

van Helsing's fear and despair is so well conveyed. and when he spends several minutes staring at her and then sounds so calm - he is determined.

"I went to the dining-room and waked him." the way Jack says this line is just. brutal.

I CAN'T LISTEN TO ART BREAK DOWN THIS IS GONNA DESTROY ME

the saddest "my dear old fellow" in the world

brushing Lucy's hair... I love that this makes Jack cry, because it makes me cry too.

ffffuck her shaky greeting to Arthur.

so I was talking a little bit ago about how Jack seems to distance himself unconsciously and start referring to Lucy as a thing whenever she is in more vampiric mode, and I love to hear it reflected in his voice here too. He goes from being so choked up with emotion to sounding almost cold as he says "the mouth opened,"

and he sounds so disturbed when he calls her eyes "dull" and her voice "voluptuous"

oh no oh no that "oh my love " is SO DAMN SINISTER art don't do it don't do it. like damn, I can't even make a joke about van helsing playing chaperone I'm just thankful that he's there!

it's not like being a vampire is transferrable through saliva or anything anyway but. she sounded so scary there.

Jack's delivery about van Helsing pulling Arthur back from the kiss was so funny. He sounds so incredulous: "dragged him back with a fury of strength which I never thought he could have possessed," van Helsing may joke about him being bitchless but Jack was here thinking he was a frail old man so who's laughing now. (van Helsing. definitely still van Helsing.)

van Helsing's panting!

art, bless him, choosing not to get into a fight over his fiance's deathbed. (the way Jack's voice gets rough on "and the occasion" uggggh)

god, Lucy's voice makes me so sad. that final "and give me peace"......

"Their eyes met instead of their lips; and so they parted." THIS LINE.

nooooooo don't make me listen to Art cry fuck it's breaking me

the music while Jack is talking about there being peace for Lucy is so ominous!!! also I love the way he is so clearly trying so hard to stay composed and say something nice and look on the bright side if only a little... and then van Helsing has to be mysterious and ominous and ruin that for him too

van Helsing Barbie strikes again

"only some letters and a few memoranda, and a diary new begun." those last few words are so sad. She never got to do more than just begin her diary. She never got to even begin her new life before it was taken away from her.

"we both started at the beauty before us," Beautiful Corpse Jumpscare

"He had not loved her as I had, and there was no need for tears in his eyes." I get how you feel but that's pretty dang rude, Jack. He's told you that he loves her and wanted to save her. He already cried for her once.

kjdsfljksdf THE DELIVERY of "I want to cut off her head and take out her heart." and. no DUH he's shocked, vH! don't go acting like this is typical surgeon behavior/reaction. omg.

and then that sigh and 'kind' concession that 'all you have to do is help me cut off her head that's all'

I fucking love the delivery of "no good to her, to us, to science, to human knowledge"

"I may err—I am but man; but I believe in all I do." the way his voice almost wavers on the word 'believe'. Not out of doubt, but emotion.

"and she kiss my rough old hand and bless me?" the way he says this line... he was so affected by her trust in him and her final request. he feels honored and burdened both.

Jack being so emotional about the maid grieving for Lucy... and me sitting there knowing that she's in there to steal from Lucy. (or at least, she does even if it's not why she went in)

mr. marquand! you are a decent guy, thank you for trying to look out for Lucy's interests. anyone who tries to give her agency is good in my book. even if your rejoicing is in. rather poor taste. (Jack's laugh at that is great!)

Art bringing Jack in with him is so sweet, god, god, his crying.... THE WAY HE SAYS JACK'S NAME. THE WAY HE SAYS THERE'S NOTHING TO LIVE FOR

Jack's line about men only needing "a grip of the hand, the tightening of an arm over the shoulder, a sob in unison," was already ridiculous but the way says it like he's trying so hard to convince himself

I hit the bulletpoint character limit. Wow.

Anyways the delivery is so stiff-upper-lip-this-is-fine, it's great. especially as the further into the line he gets the more you can hear him trying not to sob as well.

THE SADDEST SMOOCH NOISES

the way Art reacts to being called 'Lord'. ""No, no, not that, for God's sake! not yet at any rate." he sounds so desperate, the POOR MAN

and the way he is taking deep breaths while talking to van Helsing. He is working so fucking hard to be kind and try and make things easier and get through this without lashing out at anyone. I love him so much.

and van Helsing immediately follows up with "I stole your dead girlfriend's letters, can I keep them?" I KNOW he feels bad about it and he feels it is necessary and everything but. damn okay.

NOT A LULLABY NOOOOOOOOOO

GOD THAT'S SO SAD. DO NOT COME INTO THE NIGHT DO NOT GO TO SLEEP MY DEAR :( :( oh how dare you with that line about eternal life/shine so bright" AND TAKE MY BITE NOOOOOOO

[haley-harrison]

Eric Kripke is the Alfred Hitchcock of our generation. In this essay I will outline the main types of horror they use, offer examples, and elaborate the genius of the said tropes.

It will come as no surprise to anyone familiar with the man's work, that Kripke loves his ✨gore✨. Now that he's no longer restrained by CW's PG rating, he gets to go full-throttle with it in The Boys. That isn't to say that Supernatural didn't get it's fair share though - I mean, just remember the "Skin" episode in season one - that scene where the skinwalker changes his skin is pure body horror. Masterful.

Okay, Haley, so what? Some of us aren't squeamish. What's the brilliant part?

Good point, my med/bio orientated reader. That gets me to the second type of horror (and my personal kryptonite): psychological horror.

Here we get to lovecraftian themes. And I don't exactly mean Cthulhu. See, lovecraftian monsters are incomprehensible to the human mind, which generates horror through the unease of being unable to understand. Similarly, certain characters that the majority of the audience cannot identify with, can be used to the same end. Lemme illustrate this with two examples: Homelander and The Deep.

I reckon it's safe to assume most people aren't sadistic psychopaths, nor zoophiles with a penchant for sea creatures. Therefore the extreme Otherness of these two makes people uneasy, disturbing on a fundamental level. Hitchcock refined that particular horror trope by sprinkling his movies with taboo-topics of his own time, such as implied homosexuality. (*gasp* 🏳️‍🌈😆)

And here we get to the now well-known horror rule: the unseen monster is the scariest monster. More broadly, what is only implied can be more impactful than having the exact scenario shown on screen. The unsaid leaves more to the imagination (which is the most powerful tool for horror), and creates and additional dread with the element of unknown. People are unsettled by what else there might be, when elipses replace a clear answer.

Now back to Kripke, and how CW's censorship actually worked in his favor in Supernatural.

Maybe you saw this coming, but the monsters aren't the lovecraftian element. (Really, with the exception of tulpas and wendigos, none of them were even remotely scary). As I said above, Homelander and The Deep are lovecraftian because they're freaks. Unsympathetic freaks, but imagine if we took that first part away...

I shan't say it.

Just. Something something, american gothic, shit's implied and that's the point.

Haley, is this an elaborate ploy to talk about shipping? Really?

No. This is about environmental storytelling, gritty noir filter, camera angles, and just how much is left unsaid. This is about trauma, and repression, and the emotional reaction of the audience when they're left to ruminate a bit on the kind of lives the Winchesters had. It's about the missing scenes, the psychology, the implications - just -

*deep breath*

Another brilliant thing is how Kripke plays around with bathos - causing contrasting feelings in quick succession to give the audience emotional whiplash. The quips sprinkled in between the violence. The unexpected gag right before a gut-punch. It accentuates the experience for the audience. Like the way Dean's relationship with food is often played for laughs, but when you mull it over it's not hard to figure out the underlying food scarcity while growing up.

And furthermore, where did the money come from when times were tough? A myriad of angst-fics went ahead to answer that, which just proves an implication is far superior to exposition.

Then there's Hell. We don't get more than a few seconds of flashes, but think about it. Wouldn't Hell use every torture method imaginable? And what's the most psychologically damaging thing you can do to a person, especially a man?

I think you know the answer.

And that realization is the dawning psychological horror.

Finally, I'll leave you with this:

Just... Kripke!!!

I'm biting stuff!

[blortch]

You've probably answered a question like that before but what would you say was your favorite episode of each of the rlm "shows" (for lack of a better word) if you had to pick one from each? Interpret "favorite" however you want

I actually haven't gotten an ask of this sort before! The closest I can think of was when I ranked the Halloween BOTW sets. I know you prob meant like HITB, BOTW and Re:View but like I'm gonna go a bit more extensive and include other small series they have. I'm gonna leave out anything Spitballs bc idc and anything Plinkett-related bc in the 100 years I've been watching them I skimmed through like the first part of the phantom menace review and Nothing Else.

Going to start with Re:View bc it's fuckin' easy. It's Obviously the FWWM Re:View. It's what got me into Twin Peaks, and it means a lot to me. In hindsight Jay's kinda off with some of his takes (nothing Bad, just a different perspective as a massive Donnie Darko fan and projecting too much of that dynamic into the movie):

BOTW-wise this might be a super normie pick but like it's a good BOTW for a reason. Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #16. Jackpots guy followed by Surviving Edged Weapons was too great. You can kinda see that They themselves Knew this was going to be a BOTW Classic because when Mike tells Jay to talk about the tape he's Legitimately Nervous over Talking about it. ("Oh man...this is a lot of pressure...I don't know if I can do this..."):

For HITB...I'm sorry but this one's going to be a complete cop-out, (but hey at least I didn't choose the Death Cure HITB...) it's Half in the Bag Episode 138: 2017 Movie Catch-up (part 2 of 2). When I think of what I want from them review-wise it's honestly like... pointed discussions about a movie or show and this delivers exactly that. Whenever they go a little too deep they often dig themselves into a grave of either caring about something too small and inane or something they think is funny but isn't at all (cough Mike's tangents cough) so honestly letting them talk for only a few minutes tops about a movie is the absolute sweet spot. The reviews where the entire discussion is good are rare imo:

Of __ and __ Talk About I wanna say... probably Rich and Jay talk about the Boys? Just because it's the only show/movie I gave a fuck about among this series? I don't get what Rich sees in Garth Ennis' work specifically bc he's kind of a suckass but the show itself was interesting to find out more about regardless through them:

Of Nerd Crew I have to go for The Nerd Crew: Episode 2, the bit with the nerd box+geek crate was fucking hilarious. Not to mention the ending where Rich knocks over the cameras... I imagine Mike prepared the Nerd Box and Jay the Geek Crate? Just because Mike seemed to comment a lot more on the nerd box' contents (Rich said too that the knock-off Rey figure inside it was his doing) and seemed bewildered by the geek crate while Jay laughed nervously at everything Rich took out of it. Jay's such an asshole for making poor Rich gag uncontrollably with those sliced up sausages if so 😭:

ig by now they've put together enough Mini Docs to have a playlist for them so I'll pick one out of those too - I have to go for We Finally Watched Nukie: The VHS Grading Video just because the fact that it lead up for years from them collecting all those Nukies to joking about donating to charity in their trivia video, their tape destructions etc...And the entire video is just legitimately well-put together:

Talking about Trivia...of those videos I like the first one (Star Trek Trivia Showdown: Mike vs Jay (Episode 1 of 2,873)) the best just because it tortured Jay specifically. That's it that's the entire reason I shan't pretend otherwise. He was flustered throughout its entirety and also seemed smitten by the suggestion in the patreon bts of it to be compensated with a Twin Peaks trivia after:

From the Dudebros I have to go for Dudebros Episode 3 - The Dinner Surprise, ig out of all of them it was on the meatier (no pun intended) side (unlike Too Glose for Comfort) and the choices in this one are the most bizarre out of all I think...I'd like to have been a fly on the wall as they decided that Nate should cum in his pants over watching Tommy and Ronnie eat:

I'm not gonna name a season from the Grabowskis I think it would be too cheap for me to not pick a specific episode so I'll go for the third season episode where Honey gets chosen as the Face of the company Wings and Things and Cliff thinks she's gonna leave him. The whole ep makes me think that they cared a lot about the show at some point, or at least enough to make a cute little pigeon trap prop:

Out of their horrible, horrible 48 hour film projects (Das Foot, The Great Space Jam, the Western Ore Musical) I'm gonna have to go for The Western Ore Musical... just bc it was like... something as opposed to Nothing... Das Foot is very Jay I think and respectively The Great Space Jam is very Mike which makes them both super embarrassing and unwatchable:

ty for the ask! t'was fun to put together B]

[mildmayfoxe]

ok hello everyone. i'm making a post to show you all my glasses frames options so i can hear people's opinions but i am going to put the pictures under the cut so you don't have to look at 12 pictures of me in the wide open. take note that these were taken with the goal of efficiency over flattery. i am looking for daily wear frames AND sunglasses so keep that in mind. the frames with tinted lenses were only available as sunglasses but i selected the lightest opacity when available. ok let me know what you think

first we start off with my actual glasses because i did find the same pair of frames online and they are always available as a fall-back. i do like them a lot. you'll notice these are all aviators because i think that style is very fun for me. also i didn't fix my skin in these because i didn't feel like editing all these pictures so um. sorry

really funny that i switched sides and didn't notice. these are taken like a week apart bc the second shipment took longer to come. i have my favorites but i shan't say so as not to influence you all. also some of them are tight on my huge wide head & some are really lopsided but i wanted to include all the options anyway. ok that's all bye

[nikkoliferous]

This was NOT me and this is bullshit! I have been inactive for over a week and my friend just sent this to me. I would NEVER talk to another blogger like this ever. This was sent from an account @pussy-ass-bitch-fandom-wank

why do you think the anon signed it? They’re trying to frame me because I have been helping their victim @Lokilaufeysondiaries and they’re pissed about it. I’d never even heard of you until my friend sent this here’s some more proof. Here people are notorious for pretending to be others they sent a friend a nasty anon and signed it "Abby118" another very real Loki blog who doesn't do that kind of stuff ever. I hope we can talk because this just absolutely not okay what so ever and it needs to stop.

okay, I'm going to address this one time and one time only. I have nothing to do with @littlelokilad, @lokihiddleston, the LMQ server, or any drama going down between yourselves and the aforementioned parties. I literally don't know any of you, nor do I care to be involved in whatever petty, high-school-clique bullshit is going on there.

However, I will say that I find myself extremely suspicious of anyone attempting to paint @lokilaufeysondiaries as some kind of innocent victim in all this. I became involved in this stupidity because—and only because—LLD displayed some very inappropriate, manipulative behaviours towards @abby118, a friend, in DM over Abby declining to unblock them (which is absolutely her right). When Abby decided to publicly call out this toxic behaviour on her own blog, providing direct screenshots of their conversation as evidence, she began to be accused of "bullying" LLD (ridiculous) and has since been sent multiple abusive and suicide-baiting asks, ostensibly in LLD's defence.

As for the above accusations by @buckybarnes-winters0ldier, I find it hilariously ironic to, in one breath, complain about people falling for baseless frame jobs and, in the very next, accuse @lotus-eyedindiangoddess of backstabbing her own friends (namely, myself and Abby) and orchestrating this entire mess. Without a lick of evidence, of course. As you do.

TL;DR I am way too fucking old to be invested or interested in whatever manufactured drama is going down on that side of the fandom. My only interest in this bullshit is, and ever has been, Abby being targeted for harassment. Full-stop.

Now, I will say that I am inclined to believe you when you say you were not behind the aforementioned ask—if only because you would have to be very, very stupid to use the anon function only to announce your identity within the text of the ask. like, why?? And I am aware that Abby has been a victim of the very same (terribly executed) tactic. As such, I will update the post in question to reflect this... development? information? idk, whatever. That is, unfortunately, all I can really do, as we all know that once something is on the internet, it's on the internet forever. Even if I were to delete the whole post, any reblogs of it would still exist. If I update it instead, at least the contradicting information is there to be digested in the future, so that would seem to be the best option for dealing with this, to me.

I do sincerely apologise for whatever additional distress the aforementioned ask has caused to you. I have no interest in smearing anyone or discrediting their reputation. As I said, my sole interest in this entire matter has been Abby's well-being. Nothing more, and nothing less. Whoever it is behind all this manufactured drama—and I shan't make any accusations here because I have no evidence to present, regardless of any personal suspicions I may or may not have *cough*—really needs to get some less debilitating hobbies than treating real human beings on Tumblr like abused Barbie dolls to manipulate for their own sick amusement. It's pathetic.