#i say this with love and affection
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fightingwithallreality Ā· 8 days ago
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The Enchanted Horse (1992) written by Magdalen Nabb, illustrated by Julek Heller
For @horsefigureoftheday
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vigilskeep Ā· 2 years ago
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my god morrigan and alistair are bickering children
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newliveries Ā· 6 months ago
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I am so sorry but to me, any picture of them with a microphone with this precise green-ish outfit is channeling this exact Mike Wazowski performance,
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sokovianfortune Ā· 5 months ago
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uncomfortable truth that 90% of the people on the wanda tag aren't ready for: she is The Most Vanilla Bitch On The Planet
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wahbegan Ā· 2 years ago
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Skinamarink is just the Baby Looney Tunes version of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream
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leiaorgona Ā· 10 months ago
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the first episode is a good adaptation in that the first chapter of the book is also atrocious
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sadwizardjessi Ā· 3 months ago
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You literally cannot be serious. Everyone not British says bathrobe. I've never heard/used dressing gown or housecoat in my 28 years of life
RB to see how others think-- also, what territory you're from and version of English you speak! (this is to settle a thing I am pondering)
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noknowshame Ā· 2 years ago
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why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?
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time-to-write-and-suffer Ā· 1 year ago
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I love how on Tumblr, "media literacy" has become "Um, just because someone writes about this doesn't mean they're endorsing this. I hate all these media puritans ruining everything."
I'm sad to inform you that knowing when and whether an author is endorsing something, implying something, saying something, is also part of media literacy. Knowing when they are doing this and when they're not is part of media literacy. Assuming that no author has ever endorsed a bad thing is how you fall for proper gander. It's not media literacy to always assume that nobody ever has agreed with the morally reprehensible ideas in their work.
Sometimes, authors are endorsing something, and you need to be aware when that happens, and you also need to be aware when you're doing it as an author. All media isn't horny dubcon fanfic where you and the author know it's problematic IRL but you get off to it in the privacy of your brain. Sometimes very smart people can convince you of something that'll hurt others in the real world. Sometimes very dumb people will romanticize something without realizing they're doing it and you'll be caught up in it without realizing that you are.
Being aware of this is also media literacy. Being aware of the narrative tools used to affect your thinking is media literacy. Deciding on your own whether you agree with an author or not is media literacy. Enjoying characters doing bad things and allowing authors to create flawed or cruel characters for the sake of a story is perfectly fine, but it is not the same as being media literate. Being smug about how you never think an author has bad intentions tells me you're edgy, not that you're media literate. You can't use one rule to apply to all media. That's not how media literacy works. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Aheem heem. Anyway.
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skunkes Ā· 1 month ago
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gay dracula
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clowtisms Ā· 9 months ago
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He makes no sense I hate him
I'm REALLY obsessed with this question...
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aardvaark Ā· 6 months ago
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i like how leverage throws in random details that are never elaborated on. hardison gets himself a front row seat at the oscars each year, but we only see that in a single throwaway flashback. parker broke a guy's fingers for touching her and it wasn't even a plot point, it was just one in a series of memories of stabbings and so forth. eliot continually knows extremely specific information which implies some extremely specific scenarios he's been in. the more we find out about sophie's backstory, the more questions it raises about what the hell is wrong with her. and the more we find out about nate's backstory, the more questions it raises about what the hell is wrong with him.
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hinamie Ā· 2 months ago
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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buddydawndevoted Ā· 6 months ago
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Possible outcomes of being on a Dropout.tv gameshow:
- get physically tortured by grant anthony o'brian
- experience what it's like to be in a fucked up unethical experiment from the 50s, all at the hands of sam reich
- have all your secrets exposed to the world with lily du
- have a nice time discussing nerd culture with ify nwadiwe (or get extremely competitive)
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fumifooms Ā· 6 months ago
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
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Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but Iā€™m jumping into the fray. I think thereā€™s a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is heavily encouraged prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so itā€™s sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and Iā€¦ Donā€™t agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of herā€¦ ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didnā€™t matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. Thatā€™s why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; itā€™s always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
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Laiosā€™ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, youā€™re great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, Iā€™ll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, sheā€™d follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, sheā€™d follow him to the ends of the world, and thatā€™s what she did.
She didnā€™t care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesnā€™t even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parentā€™s directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I donā€™t think the motivation is people pleasing, rather itā€™s being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that itā€™s as simple as that, mind you, but letā€™s talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). Theyā€™re the ones sheā€™s devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didnā€™t care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
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What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think thatā€™s the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we canā€™t tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that sheā€™s in there, we just donā€™t know at what degree), that we donā€™t know her enough to be able to tell when sheā€™s at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is whatā€™s very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. Sheā€™s so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he canā€™t read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see thatā€¦ Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesnā€™t care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who sheā€™s speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they donā€™t cross her mind then of course sheā€™d be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesnā€™t make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isnā€™t exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see sheā€™s ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me thereā€™s this aspect to her that she isnā€™t as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and thereā€™s something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so sheā€™s friendly and hopefully thingsā€™ll be smooth sailing. Itā€™s easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you donā€™t care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesnā€™t do what she does because she lovesĀ them, but becauseĀ sheĀ loves them.
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One situation thatā€™s interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what Iā€™m trying to get at, is Shuroā€™s proposal to her. Iā€™ve seen people saying she hesitated because she didnā€™t feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I canā€™t say no, I donā€™t want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but itā€™s actually canon in the Adventurerā€™s Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didnā€™t feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but itā€™d have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense sheā€™d want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, thereā€™s even a bit on it on Laiosā€™ Adventurerā€™s Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, itā€™s an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brotherā€™s needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldnā€™t she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah thatā€™s convenient for me, but where itā€™s everything to him and heartfelt Iā€™m able to be detached because I donā€™t care about it that muchā€¦ Can I do that? Iā€™m not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though itā€™s not what youā€™d expect, isnā€™t it?
And central to my analysis, where Iā€™m going with this is, I feel like thatā€™s the thing with her character, that she doesnā€™t feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didnā€™t mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didnā€™t seem to get why it was such a big deal, didnā€™t seem to care about how theyā€™d experienced her choices.
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So itā€™s a tendencyā€¦ And itā€™s not that she doesnā€™t care, itā€™s just that the way she measures whatā€™s good for the ones she loves isnā€™t the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). Itā€™s an overt but quiet kind of care, itā€™s doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuroā€™s proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because sheā€™s thinking about reciprocity, about if itā€™d be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And thatā€™s a big part of her character isnā€™t it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, sheā€™d been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurerā€™s Bible explanation was released midstory, so Iā€™m hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didnā€™t react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesnā€™t remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasnā€™t finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what Iā€™m saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuroā€™s proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
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And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? Itā€™s rather layered, because canonically she wasnā€™t aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and weā€™re not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isnā€™t being mistreated (though doesnā€™t ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough sheā€™s very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when sheā€™s worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chiefā€™s daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
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She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think sheā€™d notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when sheā€™s careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think itā€™s a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. Sheā€™s not sure wether to accept or reject Shuroā€™s proposal, doesnā€™t want to lead him on? Sheā€™ll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesnā€™t feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think thatā€™s here too. She doesnā€™t get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesnā€™t change that she doesnā€™t want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, itā€™s just that sheā€™s learned growing up that she doesnā€™t have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. Sheā€™ll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, sheā€™ll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when heā€™s pushing her away (because he doesnā€™t want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved themā€” And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didnā€™t notice the ostracization she suffered.
Sheā€™s always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didnā€™t try hard to rectify the dogsā€™ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someoneā€™s presence isnā€™t something you ask for, itā€™s something thatā€™s bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you canā€™t ask them to stay or to come with.
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Sheā€™s used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so sheā€™s learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didnā€™t want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, itā€™s the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasnā€™t that Iā€™d feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I donā€™t regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but Iā€™m sorry that youā€™re so much more upset about it than me". Itā€™s the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
Itā€™s the autism itā€™s the aroace of it all, itā€™s the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, itā€™s the feeling like youā€™re somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. Iā€™m not joking btw it isnā€™t uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm youā€™re uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you wonā€™t feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about itā€¦"
Soā€¦ Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I donā€™t think she actually cares about people all that much. Iā€™d argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesnā€™t mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well itā€™s pretty straightforward really, sheā€™s not all that social and doesnā€™t see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but itā€™s not as much likeā€¦ A conviction or goal. Sheā€™s too laser focused on a select few people. "Itā€™s not that theyā€™re bad people, they just arenā€™t interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isnā€™t her whole world or that she isnā€™t the kindest soul out there then youā€™re saying she doesnā€™t care at all or sheā€™s evil. And thatā€™s actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but itā€™s not in a way thatā€™s quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they donā€™t have the same logic as her, donā€™t show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if Iā€™m making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isnā€™t uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, thereā€™s absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. Thereā€™s enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason Iā€™ve chosen this angle is I feel itā€™s more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falinā€™s character arc as Iā€™ll go over throughout the next sectionā€¦
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. Andā€¦ā€¦. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You canā€™t tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when sheā€™s dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to justā€¦ Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. Thatā€™s what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
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Thereā€™s excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, andā€¦ Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falinā€™s choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragonā€™s wasnā€™t done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. Sheā€™s stripped of her agency consistently, and soā€¦ Itā€™s very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falinā€™s own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think Iā€™m going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laiosā€™ wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, itā€™s something thatā€™s consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
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Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, itā€™s always been Laiosā€™ curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, butā€¦ On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks itā€™d be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If thereā€™s someone you donā€™t like, you can gobble ā€˜em up in one bite. If you could fly, youā€™d be able to leave this village right now." Itā€™s a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
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But youā€™ll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesnā€™t want to leave knowing theyā€™ll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laiosā€™ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isnā€™t to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isnā€™t to stay and see how well his friends will live, itā€™s to go. Itā€™s to leave. Itā€™s to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. Itā€™s again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didnā€™t, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, itā€™s Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. Itā€™s a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying theyā€™ll get themselves killed, that time is passing while theyā€™re away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what itā€™s like to have what sheā€™s never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if youā€™re a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when youā€™re a beast and you can justā€¦ Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because youā€™re at the bottom of the hierarchy, youā€™re now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
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I think sheā€™s on autopilot. I think sheā€™s on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and itā€™s partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) Itā€™s familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And thatā€™s what is weaponized when sheā€™s a chimera, that instinct sheā€™s been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesnā€™t matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesnā€™t mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because sheā€™s trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So youā€™re probably seeing the duality Iā€™m talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often donā€™t recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesnā€™t care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. Sheā€™s undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, itā€™s text, in the response to Shuroā€™s proposal extra no less. And sheā€™s so laser focused on her most loved people that sheā€™s fine with being callous and risking othersā€™ lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
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Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with herā€¦ Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her tooā€¦ In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way thatā€™s not palatable. But she doesnā€™t care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasnā€™t for a while now, and thatā€™s great.
Notes & nuance
Iā€™m struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. Itā€™s difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but thereā€™s this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "itā€™s ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldnā€™t fit well in other places but are interesting for Falinā€™s character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, itā€™s just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I canā€™t just pull it up whenever itā€™s relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurerā€™s Bible profile if you havenā€™t already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didnā€™t seem to mind others ostracizing her, itā€™s easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid sheā€™s bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leaderā€¦ Thereā€™s one istanxe of her caring actually, and itā€™s about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laiosā€™ said it and as I rambled Laiosā€™ words are her world, but actually itā€™s ambiguous. Itā€™s only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, thereā€™s no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other handā€¦
Her Adventurerā€™s Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falinā€™s struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesnā€™t like being called cute over it, but thatā€™s not how she wants people to see her. She doesnā€™t want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
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Hereā€™s a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts donā€™t seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe itā€™s more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didnā€™t keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ā€˜troublesomeā€™. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearancesā€¦ A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurerā€™s Bible profile) itā€™s just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I donā€™t think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for othersā€™ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but thatā€™s not personality wise itā€™s needs and wants wise. And I do feel like thatā€™s the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesnā€™t know what she wants because everything sheā€™s done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesnā€™t change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesnā€™t ask things from people and doesnā€™t hope for more, hope for better. I donā€™t think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her itā€™s less ā€˜appearing stoic to fit in moreā€™ and more ā€˜yeah iā€™ll just chill until Iā€™m needed or something activates my enthusiasmā€™. To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you canā€™t be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivityā€¦ I want to speculate about Shuroā€™s proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we donā€™t know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuroā€™s proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I donā€™t think it was as simple as ā€˜she wanted to say yes for convenienceā€™. Logically itā€™s what would have been best, but itā€™s not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesnā€™t think sheā€™ll get proposed to again, itā€™s that self-effacing tendency that yes itā€™d be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isnā€™t in it, because if itā€™s convenient then thatā€™s more important than her feelings on the matter. Man alsoā€¦ Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldnā€™t get with Shuro, but imagine how Falinā€™s whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much sheā€™s master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but sheā€™s for sure there & influencing the dragonā€™s action to some degree. Having a dragonā€™s foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but thereā€™s Falin calling out to her brother Laios, thereā€™s the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly thereā€™s the Adventurerā€™s Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that itā€™s her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, itā€™s interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, sheā€™s described as Thistleā€™s guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so Iā€™ll reign myself in and just mention it again. Sheā€™s still at the heel of someone, only now itā€™s someone who doesnā€™t care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that itā€™s suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think thatā€™s part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isnā€™t unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc weā€™ve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "Iā€™ll lay down my life for you" point? Iā€™m so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isnā€™t it cool?" gestures of showing things to herā€¦ Itā€™s the only way she knows to ask, or maybe itā€™s the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same timeā€¦ I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. Iā€™d usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but thereā€™s a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo importantā€¦ Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didnā€™t mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you havenā€™t seen each other in a while or when theyā€™re alone, and yes thereā€™s potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin wonā€™t be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same wayā€¦ I hope Iā€™m making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they donā€™t know if thatā€™s allowed, if theyā€™re going about the social interaction the right way, if theyā€™re allowed to ask that out of someoneā€¦
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didnā€™t see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falinā€™s actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldnā€™t see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course sheā€™d see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
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A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcilleā€™s world, Laiosā€™ is at the center of Falinā€™s, and I tend to agree.
Itā€™s fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course thereā€™s how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but thereā€™s how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think thereā€™s an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I donā€™t really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. ā€˜If you die do it somewhere where I canā€™t seeā€™ styleā€™ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I donā€™t vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isnā€™t needlessly against ghosts. And Falinā€™s sudden mace hits are fun to me too because itā€™s not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whateverā€™s needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
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Iā€™m working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falinā€™s dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laiosā€™ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr: Falin doesnā€™t care all that much, sheā€™s very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesnā€™t really care because thatā€™d require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but itā€™s more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: sheā€™s canonically very genuinely kind, but itā€™s more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. Sheā€™s passive, and softspoken because thatā€™s just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the olā€™ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. Sheā€™s shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but thereā€™s also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. Thereā€™s a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falinā€™s case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
Sheā€™s sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and thatā€™s it donā€™t hope for more donā€™t ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how sheā€™s not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
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Thatā€™s it, ty for reading. Even if itā€™s a bit of a mess, hopefully youā€™ll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Hereā€™s my spotify playlist for her if youā€™d like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-loveā€™s important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
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#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we donā€™t#get that many moments with her. So thereā€™s ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#Iā€™m doomed. Iā€™m getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. Itā€™s mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity youā€™re expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#heā€™s here too bc they are an unit#If youā€™re not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falinā€™s character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairyā€™s child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised sheā€™s hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laiosā€¦ Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#Iā€™d like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. Iā€™m not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if youā€™d prefer. It doesnā€™t have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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badxwolf Ā· 1 year ago
Text
"[Russell T Davies] made Rose an equal, not a sidekick. It is she who, on several occasions, saves the Doctor, rather than the other way round. As any parent with a daughter, I now look at Esme and think 'you could be the Doctor'. In 2005, as recently as that, such a thought would have been a pipe dream.
[Rose is] a woman with an independent mind, willing to confront received wisdom. Rose arrives on screen fully formed, one of the strongest female characters of any show, any year, painting a solid line directly to Jodie Whittaker.Ā 
If you think about it, the relaunch in 2005 was actually the first chance to create the first female Doctor. Why not do it then?Ā Perhaps we should be looking back on Billie Piper not as Rose, but as the Doctor."
- Christopher Eccleston in his memoir I Love The Bones Of You
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