#i say i’m heartbroken but really i love all my pieces so much that i’d be heartbroken for whichever one is in last place no matter what HAHA

[inkykeiji]

ppl not voting for the dark academia au are COWARDS /j /lh

HAHAHAHAHA tbh i’m kinda heartbroken it’s in last place because i love all three of those iterations so so so much!!!!!! it’s okay tho </3

[zoeysdamn]

Bloodied petals | Xavier Thorpe x reader | Part.5

Summary: Heartbroken by Xavier’s rejection, you know that your days are numbered now. Enid has your back as a dutiful roommate and manages to convince you to go to the Rave’n – even if it’s the last place where you want to be. Maybe some unexpected bonding time with Bianca cannot be that bad, before some terrible news is delivered.

Warnings: angst™, mentions of blood, swearing, underage drinking, description of a panic attack. English isn’t my mother tongue.

A/N: I know I’ve promised some fluff in this chapter buuuutttt this is already so long like omg so, sorry guys you’ll have to wait for the next one :DD

[Masterlist] [Part.1] [Part.2] [Part.3] [Part.4]

It was a weird feeling to know that you were going to die soon. In the two days following Xavier’s rejection, you had basically locked yourself in your room, a basin always at hand’s reach. You didn’t even try to hide it anymore when Wednesday was around, besides you were kind of busy throwing up every single flower and petal to care about her occasional pitiful looks. She wasn’t particularly having remorses, but the knowledge that her roommate was down a dreadful path didn’t please her either. You had been kind to her without being too nosy, so she tolerated you. But you couldn’t care less about Wednesday Addams’ second thoughts at the moment. All of your chest and throat felt like a burning fire most of the time and it felt like the whole Nevermore glasshouse was growing in your lungs. 

In an attempt to try to delay the growth of the plants a little, you had concocted a potion you drank three times a day. There was no cure for Hanahaki disease, but it was still plants. So you had made a potion that would basically act like a weed killer. The taste was horrendous and it burned your throat almost as much as the flowers themselves, but at least it seemed to slow down their growth a little. It means that you still could pretend it was just the flu when you coughed during class and managed to hide away the flowers, but that you were curled up on your bed or over the toilets for the rest of the time. 

The tricky part was to hide it from Enid. You loved your other roommate, but she was so sweet and excited about the upcoming ball, you didn’t have the heart to tell her what was really going on. She wouldn’t be able to get it out of her mind and you didn’t want to burden her with it. You always managed to flee the room just in time when she was there and you felt the coughs starting to get stronger. Fortunately, she still didn’t notice anything. Although, you knew that at some point you would have to disclose the truth to her. So you had decided to tell everything to Enid after the Rave’n and the parents' weekend following. She surely had enough on her plate for the time being. Like, convincing Wednesday to go shopping for the upcoming ball. 

“C’mon, it’ll be a fun outing between roomies!” she said excitedly while Wednesday kept her unfazed expression. 

“I’d rather burn my own eyes with acid rather than mingle with teenagers ready to fight over a stupid piece of fabric.” 

From your bed, you rolled your eyes behind the book you were reading. On any other day, you would have chuckled at Wednesday’s antics, but the harsh tone she always used to answer Enid's kind ideas was starting to get on your nerves. Couldn’t she just say a plain no? 

Luckily, Enid had an optimistic personality, “Come ooooon, just one little shopping session between roomies, please please pleeaseee! I bet even Y/N thinks it’s a good idea, right Y/N?”

The sudden mention of your name in the discussion made you jump a little and you looked up from the pages. Enid looked at you expectedly, a large smile on her face. 

“I’m not going to the Rave’n,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. You wouldn’t give Wednesday the satisfaction of seeing you cry and an occasion to ramble again about how weak your feelings made you. This made Enid gasp. 

“What! Why?” 

“Don’t have a date, and don’t want to go,” you simply mumbled, not without giving a glance at the pigtailed girl. It wasn’t entirely her fault, you couldn’t manipulate Xavier’s feelings for you; still, you couldn’t help but feel bitter. 

Enid looked between the two of you and made a small “oh” in understanding. “But- but you don’t need a date to go!” she tried to reassure you, changing the subject quickly. “You can go on your own! Independent women don’t need a man to do what they want, right?”

You snickered at this, “Playing the feminist card won’t work this time Enid. I don’t want to go to have the whole school whispering at how pathetic I look on my own.”

Both of your roommates felt kind of sorry for you at that moment. Of course not, in the same way, Wednesday was more bored of this whole ordeal and was slightly saddened by the fact an acceptable roommate was turning bitter. It wasn’t a pretty colour on you and she might have lost a valuable ally. 

“Come on Y/N,” pleaded Enid again, “you don’t look so good these days, some fresh air could be good for you!” 

For a moment you felt the tip of your tongue burning with a witty comeback, something about her argument being not really convincing, but you retained yourself. Then you let out a long sigh. “Fine,” you conceded because it was hard to resist Enid’s pleading eyes, “but only because you need a fashion chaperone and you said please.”

“Yes!” squealed Enid, clapping her hands, “it’ll be so fun! I’m gonna tell Miss T we’re all going to Jericho, see you at the entrance in 10 minutes!”

She waltzed out of the room, grabbing her pink jean jacket on the way and blessedly unaware of the tension she left behind. Ignoring the heavy look of Wednesday you got up from the bed and started to put your shoes on. 

“I didn’t know you wanted to go to that stupid ball,” said Wednesday. Were that undertones of guilt you heard in her voice? 

“I don’t,” you groaned, “I just wished…you know what, forget it you wouldn’t get it anyway.” 

“If it’s about Xavier being my date then no need to be so petty about this,” she said rolling her eyes, “I’m just using the occasion to watch him and find out if he’s the monster or not.”

You let out a bitter laugh, flabbergasted by her words. “Do you realize how much worse it is? You know what I feel for Xavier, and you’re inviting him to interrogate him? Holy fuck.”

“I’m trying to stop a monster here Y/N,” she deadpanned flatly. “There’s no need for bitter behaviour.” 

Exhaling loudly through your nostrils, you turned to her with a harsh glare. “I’m not jealous of you, Wednesday. The only thing that makes me mad is the fact that Xavier accepted to go with you barely a minute after I confessed to him.”

This time Wednesday’s eyebrows rose up high, probably not expecting that. She had thought that you were only jealous of her and the proximity that her invitation to Xavier might imply to a random mind. Teenagers and young adults were guided by their primal emotions after all, but you were shaking all of her certainties. 

“I’m just heartbroken really,” you sighed while putting on your jacket, tears once again ready to flow, “so drop it, I’m just going to humour Enid and clear my head.”

Just as you were about to close the room’s door, you heard Wednesday speak again, “I don’t know much about romantic feelings, but I think you’re rightfully upset. Thorpe is a fool.” 

That made you pause for a moment, “Yeah, I know,” you breathed out quietly. 

That was the closest of a nice thing Wednesday could tell you. 

Unsurprisingly, your gothic roommate abandoned the rest of your odd trio in front of the clothes store a few minutes later. She had to snoop around god-knows-where, so it was just Enid and you. The werewolf looked around, barely containing her excitement or her shopping spree. You only browsed through the racks mind-absently, not really looking at the clothes or listening to her happy banter. Which she noticed. 

“Sooo, what’s with the long face?” she asked innocently. “You’re not one to usually skip parties.”

“I’m just not feeling like going this time, nothing big,” you mumbled. You hoped that Enid would drop the subject. She didn’t. 

“Is this…about Wednesday?” she dared to ask, and offered you a sorry smile when you whipped your head at her. “Is this because she invited Xavier? I know you’re close to him and–”

“This is not about Wednesday,” you snapped at her, irritably. Why did people keep assuming you had the role of the jealous bitch? 

Enid’s slight jump made you sigh; you shouldn’t have snapped at her like that. “Look, it’s just…I’m tired, okay? Besides, this isn’t about Wednesday, it’s about Xavier.”

Your roommate’s face suddenly lit up and she gasped, “You’re jealous of Xavier?? You mean you and Wednesday–”

You frowned while letting out a surprised laugh, “What? No! If anything, she’s more your type than mine.”

Enid’s cheeks lit up slightly, “She’s not!” she defended herself fiercely – too much to be honest. You chuckled; you definitely had to tease her about this later. 

“Your type involves two kinds of people: love-stuck but dumb gorgons and mysterious unfazed goth girls,” you said with a roll of your eyes. 

“This- this- this isn’t about me, don’t try to escape the subject!” she sputtered, cheeks flaming red. “And wait a minute? Did you say that the problem was Xavier? Oh my god,” she beamed, “did you finally realize that you loved him? That’s so great!!” 

Your face darkened at that and you cast your eyes elsewhere to hide your shame, “Not really no,” you whispered. “He doesn’t love me back.” 

“What??” screamed Enid, loud enough for a few other customers to glare at your pair. You threw them a sorry look before giving Enid a disapproving stare. “What?” she repeated, whisper-shouting this time, “what do you mean he doesn’t love you? He totally does!”

“Well, turns out he doesn’t,” you said in a sad tone you couldn’t hold back. “I kissed him and…and he told me that he doesn’t love me back, end of the story.” 

She stood there, mouth agape in utter shock. At her frozen face, you only shrugged weakly like it was nothing. 

“What? But how? This can’t be, you guys are like the most likely future couple in the whole school!”

Tears burned your eyes and you tried so hard to not let them fall. “Well, since he agreed to go to the Rave’n with Wednesday less than five minutes after I told him…guess it’s pretty much obvious.”

“He did WHAT?” shouted Enid, earning a few angry glares once more. But she couldn’t care less, she was furious. “And you were there??”

You nodded weakly. “I heard them, yeah.”

“That FUCKER, you just kissed him and confess to him and he has the audacity to say yes to another girl’s invite? Argh!” she ranted, throwing her hand in the air ragefully. “The nerve of that piece of shit!” 

“Woah Enid Sinclair, you kiss your dad with that mouth?” you chuckled, slightly taken aback by the loss of her temper. 

“Yeah and I have every right, I’m fucking mad at him Y/N!” she fumed, angrily putting back a dress she had been holding for that time. “He acted like a dick and now you’re miserable!” 

“It’s nothing Enid,” you mumbled. 

She grabbed your hand over the rack with pleading eyes. “He broke your heart Y/N, this isn’t nothing.” 

You gulped slowly, a single tear sliding down your cheek. Even with trembling lips, you managed to articulate something, “It’ll pass eventually.” Squeezing her hand lightly, you tried to give her the most reassuring look you could put on. 

The sad wincing she let out was heartbreaking, “Oh girl…”

Whipping your tears you refocused on the clothes on the rack. 

“So,” you said more lightly, clearly trying to change the subject, “what do you want to wear? I think you’ll look terrific in feathers.” 

The bone-crushing hug she tugged you in surprised you, almost squeezing all air out of you. Enid had come around the rack so quickly you hadn’t even noticed her coming over to tackle you in a bear hug. 

“Woah, calm down wolfie,” you chuckled weakly, “what with the sudden burst of affection?” 

Her laugh was muffled by the way her face was buried in your shoulder, “Don’t act so surprised, you know this was coming. This is your roommate’s heartbreak mandatory hug.” 

You wanted to reply something, but honestly, the words were stuck in your throat. Tears prevented you from saying anything. So instead, you returned the hug, hands gripping tightly Enid’s back. It was warm, friendly and frankly, the kindest thing someone had ever done to you for the past few days. You let yourself sink into the hug, letting its warmth envelop you in much-needed affection. When a small sob rocked your body, you realized how much you had craved that. 

Slightly tugging away from the hug, Enid took both of your hands, “Look I know everything feels like shit right now, but let me help you with this okay? Come to the ball, it’ll lift your spirit a little. Just between us girls, in our best outfits, drinking cheap cocktails, and dancing to lame electro music until our feet bleed, it’ll be fun!” 

Her joyful tone made you smile. In a way, it might be the last party you would attend…the disease was already quite serious, and now that Xavier had rejected you, the chances of healing had simply vanished away. So if you had not much longer to live, why not have the more fun you could? Why not experience everything you could since it’ll soon be over? One last party before the dark no matter how your chest ached. 

“Fuck Xavier and his ungrateful ass,” continued Enid, “you’re gonna have fun and enjoy this ball like the queen you are, okay roomie? And don’t you dare turn this down because I–”

“I’ll come,” you cut her off.

“Because believe m– you what?”

“I will come to the Rave’n,” you repeated with a weak but honest smile. “Independent women don’t need anybody, right?”

She beamed at you as she realized that you quoted her and brought you into another bone-crushing hug. Her heartwarming reaction made you laugh; she was right, you could use the Rave’n to change your mind, even if it wouldn’t be so easy. But Enid had this strange power of convincing people to do what was best for them. Maybe she was the witch in your dorm after all. 

Spending the rest of the day snooping around the shop and digging to find perfect outfits had the merit to alleviate your pain and forget about the flowers a little. This was all you could ask for these days. 

To say that you were excited about the Rave’n was an exaggeration. Three days or so before the ball, you had a newfound thrill about it thanks to Enid, but your mood had decreased in the meantime. First, because your health hadn’t gone better despite the potion you’ve been taking. It slowed down the growing process, sure, but weed killer was still poison. And second, words had spread that Xavier had dumped Wednesday for the Rave’n. This didn’t sadden you per se, but a small, naive part of yourself had secretly hoped that he would invite you instead. This was silly but for the briefest moment, you had thought that he would, at least because you were best friends. He didn’t. 

So it was half-heartedly that you applied some light make-up before the dance, your white outfit hanging on the door of your closet. Enid’s energy was barely enough to make you smile but you had promised her you would come. When her date came to pick her up at the door she gave you an excited wave of the hand, reminding you to find her later when you arrive at the party. She didn’t want to rush you or pressure you if you didn’t want to arrive this early, and you were grateful for that. The more time passed, the more your already thin will to go seemed to vanish. And yet, you sighed and grabbed your outfit with you to get changed in the bathroom. While you had felt empty most of the day, something tiny and warmth erupted in you when you got a look at yourself in the mirror once changed. You had picked long white palazzo pants, with an equally white corset top that showed off your shoulders and arms; flowy thin off-the-shoulder sleeves gave an impression of weightlessness like it was effortless to be here. Perfect to hide the reality of the pain dragging along your steps. But…the longer you looked at yourself in the mirror, the stronger this pleasant - albeit quite weak - feeling grew. For the first time, you actually found yourself pretty. The discreet silver embroidery of stars and constellations on the corset and the platform heels of your favourite colour were nice additions. Of a sudden, you started to feel nostalgic. In a way, this night was your last outing with a large crowd of people you knew, and most of them would probably never see you again. A strange feeling of confidence rushed by; not the one when you feel powerful by the way you look or carry yourself, but one of the ethereal moments, frozen in time yet ephemeral. You hadn't particularly made a difference in your short life but at least you were glad that you could shine for one last dance, clothed in white before the red of your blood would take over. 

Whipping a treacherous tear that had made its way to the corner of your eye, you then squared your shoulders. With a last long inspiration for strength, you exited the bathroom. 

Seeing your other roommate packing a bag, you frowned slightly. 

"You're going somewhere?" 

"Eugene and I are going to watch over the cave we discovered," she said simply, packing a flashlight, "it's highly likely to be the monster's den." 

"Eugene? Ottinger?" you asked, surprised by her unconventional choice of companion. At her sharp nod, your face turned into a concerned expression. "I'm glad he's with you then, but…be careful, okay?" 

She snapped her head in your direction, "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"Yeah, but Eugene's not. He's a good kid, he doesn't deserve to be hurt," you insisted. 

You didn't know Eugene Ottinger that well, firstly because he was younger and a class below you, but you had met him on various occasions especially about bees when some of your potions required honey. But he was a kind boy, and the knowledge that he was going close to a supposed monster nest wasn't reassuring at all. 

And seemingly, Wednesday saw your worry and you could swear that you saw her hardened expression ease a little. 

"He will be safe with me," she said. "Besides I'm the only one allowed to torture him. Bee code."

That pulled a small smile out of you. Under her tough armour, Wednesday actually had a soft side. Not wanting to push it further, you quietly made your way to the door; no need to delay the party further. Swinging the door open, you stopped dead in your tracks at the unexpected sight of a familiar figure. Tyler stood there dressed head to toe in white, fidgeting nervously. 

“Oh,” he said, almost as surprised as you. “Hi Y/N.”

“Galpin,” you greeted dryly. 

He scratched the back of his head, mouth opening like he was about to say something. You swore that if he was about to sweet-talk you by making an actual compliment you were going to punch him. Fortunately for him, he didn’t. “Is- uh, is Wednesday here?” 

You arched an eyebrow at his question. Or more accurately, at Tyler Galpin being at your dorm room dressed to the nines and asking for your roomie. “Sure,” you said, “Wednesday, there’s someone for you.”

She said something about Eugene being on time and you didn’t need to look at her to feel her freeze next to you when she reached the door. A very awkward beat passed, and then you decided that you definitely didn’t want to witness the strange conversation that would follow. Slipping away you caught a brief look at Thing hiding inside the room. This was going to be an interesting story to hear about later. 

Going down the stairs of the Ophelia wing, you started to get cold feet about this party. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea, after all? But before you even thought about going back to your dorm you were already at the party, and Enid had definitely seen you. Her enthusiastic gasp made some of your friends’ heads turn. 

“Y/N, you look so pretty!” she exclaimed as you approached them, shyly greeting the rest of them. 

Ajax let out a low whistle, “Well, none of you told us this was an actual fashion show or what.” 

“Nice outfit, I second the shoes,” said Yoko with a smirk. 

“Thanks guys,” you said almost shyly. 

“You’re like Glenda the witch of the East!” beamed Enid, which made some of the others chuckle. 

You thanked her and went to grab the two of you some drinks. Apparently, her date was supposed to but he stood rather awkwardly in the middle of the Nevermore students' crowd. Returning with the blue drinks in hand you cheered with the small group of friends, swinging gently at the music rhythm while everyone arrived. You even caught sight of Principal Weems, a somehow proud smile plastered on her face as she chaperoned the whole party. Everyone seemed to have a good time and it warmed your heart. One of your last memories of your school and its students, it was a good one. 

But then, you heard Enid gasp. 

“Oh my god, look who’s there.”

You whipped your head, expecting the surprise appearance of Wednesday at Tyler’s arm – if she hadn’t eaten him alive first. Instead, you felt your heart leap in your throat like a freezing iceberg to the bottom of the ocean. Cladded in white and hair tightly brought in a bun like he often did, Xavier walked in. And on his arm in a stunning silver backless dress, Bianca. Before you could stop yourself you choked on your drink, a coughing fit rocking your whole body ungracefully. 

“Shit, you’re alright?” immediately asked Enid.

You wiped the corner of your mouth slightly, just to make sure you didn’t actually drool on yourself. “Yeah,” you mumbled, “be right back, ‘m gonna fetch me another drink.” 

Dodging her questions or the questioning looks of people around you sped to the minibar. Once you made sure no one saw you, you hurled over your drink and let a large white bloodied flower drown down your glass. The red blood distilled into the blue tint of the cocktail, melting like deadly poison. That made you wince and you put down your drink on the table, hidden behind some bottles. You picked another clean glass of this whatever-virgin cocktail and waved discreetly your hand above it. Taking a sharp swing of it you were secretly glad to feel the familiar sting down your frown. At least you still had enough power to cast this spell transforming water into liquor. This night was going to require much stronger than soft drinks. 

From that moment, the Rave’n took a more bittersweet turn for you. It was hard to not glance at Xavier or Bianca – which, if you had done, would have made you realize that the vibes were awkwardly cold between the two of them. Even though Enid and Yoko tried to distract you, dragging you to the dance floor and trying to make you laugh. Their antics worked as you ended up swaying and dancing along to the loud techno music, pretending it didn’t pierce your ear drums. You didn’t even flinch at Wednesday’s sudden appearance, her black dress parting the crowd of white outfits like the red sea. It wasn’t your time to care, nor did you want to. The glass of booze you had certainly helped; you weren’t drunk, not even tipsy, just feeling light-headed enough to tune down, for a few minutes, the aching pain in your heart. The feeling of weightlessness was numbing and soothing, but not enough to forget the plaguing thought of your sickness. Or the weight of Xavier’s rejection, rubbed in your face by his arrival with Bianca. 

When a more slow song started, this artificial euphoria wore off slowly. And the feeling of your loneliness became very real again. The room became too crowded, too much to handle and you walked out of it, like a zombie. Finding a seat outside you plopped down unceremoniously. Your legs ached, maybe you had tired yourself out in the end. As tiredness sank into your bones, numbness overtook you whole once again. Not quite like before, like a soothing caress, more like a piercing melancholy wrapping around you like a comforting, yet exclusive blanket. Nothing had felt more empty before, but your lonely being with eyes haggard and heart bleeding out of your chest. 

The sound of a deep sigh made you realize that someone had taken a seat near you, and you were surprised to see none other than Bianca on the other side of the sofa. She didn’t look too happy either. 

Unable to stop the words from coming out of your mouth, you blurted. 

“Are you alright?”

The siren whipped her head to you, icy blue eyes half throwing daggers, half…sad?

“Why do you care?” 

Her harsh tone could sound rude, but you knew better than that. Your question had been incredibly random, you weren’t even sure that Bianca actually wished to talk with you, but you recognized the hurt in her eyes. 

At your unfazed expression, she sighed once again, “I’m sorry for that,” she excused herself, “this was uncalled for.”

You only shrugged, “I guess this is what I get for spoiling your evening.”. Bianca’s eyebrows rose slightly at your bitter tone. This wasn’t usual for you. 

“You’re not the one ruining my night, trust me,” she mumbled, glancing at the ballroom. 

Following her gaze, your eyes landed on Xavier, sitting at one of the tables and gaze locked on Wednesday and her date. His knuckles were white and his jaw clenched. If this sight made your heart break a little more, you were pretty sure that Bianca’s did too. 

The siren sighed and accepting her defeat, slumped in her seat. Bianca Barclay never slumped. 

“He’s not mine anymore, isn’t he?” she whispered out loud. 

Your eyes widened at her. Of all people you really didn’t expect Bianca to confide in you. Sensing your disbelief she turned her blue eyes to you. They were glossy with tears. 

“I’m not sure I’m the one who can help you with that,” you said with a sorry look. 

She scoffed lightly, but the sad look was still plaguing her traits, “I think you can, Y/N. Since when do you love him, exactly?”

The question slightly took you aback. When they had started dating, Bianca had kind of cornered you to give you the classic speech, new girlfriend to best friend, halfway to threats, and had asked you if you loved Xavier then. You had to say no. But now…this wasn’t the same prideful, powerful and confident girl, looking forward to ensuring her superiority. This was the teary-eyed, heartbroken girl who seek answers to get some sort of closure. Who were you to deny her that? 

So you sighed, and cast your eyes on your lap, “A long time,” you muttered quietly.

She hummed knowingly; this may be the first time you actually heard her being tired. “To be honest, I was glad he accepted my invitation,” she told you, like confidence. “But I was surprised he didn’t invite you first.”

You coughed weakly, not even bothering to be careful of Bianca seeing the eventual petals that could come out. “Yeah me too,” you whispered, “but it doesn’t matter now.” 

Bianca tilted her head, a bit surprised by your words, “Yes it does.”. At your raised eyebrow, she nodded in Xavier’s direction. “Wednesday’s not the only one occupying his mind tonight. He may think he got a poker face, but he doesn’t.”

Out of reflex, you looked once again at Xavier. The blue and yellow lights of the party shone on him, highlighting each of his sharp features. A sob made its way into your throat and you blocked it just before it escaped your mouth. Everything just hurt so much. 

“I don’t know what happened between you two recently,” said Bianca with an unknown softness, “but he does care. He worries about you, I know that” 

A cough wrecked your body, allowing petals and flowers to fly out of your mouth through your painful throat. Clamping a hand over your mouth under the siren’s perplexed eyes, you sighed in relief when the fit ended. Opening your hand to see as usual blood-coated flowers, you felt your chest ache. 

“Well, maybe his concerns won’t be enough this time,” you said weakly. Throwing away the flowers carelessly you avoided Bianca’s concerned gaze. “Maybe I should’ve thought about myself first, for once.” 

She let out a dry and tired laugh, “I second that. Maybe I should have too.” 

You offered a weak smile. No matter how much you both had, or loved Xavier, you couldn’t deny anymore the hurt it brought upon you. Especially upon you. 

“I’m sorry for having invited Xavier,” finally muttered Bianca. 

You shrugged, “Don't be. You had every right to try your chance. I knew this might happen”

She nodded, silently appreciating the lack of hate. You were far too tired to give that. “What made you come here, then?”

Remembering your roommate’s words, you smiled a little, “Something along the line of independent women not needing anybody.” 

Bianca chuckled at that. Whoever told you that was right. 

The arrival of another siren, blessedly unaware of the unexpected and open-heart conversation that had been going on, distracted Bianca from you. Her ability to put on a bright smile in the blink of an eye impressed you. You took that as your cue and got up, returning to the party before Enid or anyone would get worried. This strange bonding time reminded you why you had come in the first place: no matter how broken your heart was, this was about you and getting one last fun night before the dark. 

No one could really tell for how long you had been dancing again. Arms up, flowing along the music like nothing around you mattered. In a way, it did. Blurry faces of your friends and smiles that you didn’t know who they belonged to. It was like your mind had blacked out from the rest. Nothing could reach you; not the plaguing thought of your upcoming passing, not the burning sensation through your lungs, the tickling and bitter scrap of petals trying to crawl out of your throat, or the heavy burden of your broken heart. It was just you; for the first time, it was just you and it didn’t frighten you so much anymore. 

A warm drop sliding down your forehead broke you out of your trance, making your eyes flutter open. All the students were still dancing without the slightest care of the world, and you thought that you had maybe imagined things. Reaching for the damp spot, you brushed your fingers against it and gave them a look. A sticky, deep red liquid coated them. And before you could wonder what was happening, all hell broke loose. Torrential rain of blood sprouted out of the room’s sprinklers, drenching everyone in the blink of an eye. All the white outfits turned into a deep crimson shade and scream erupted everywhere. Terrified students ran, trying to find cover the best they could, and in the middle of it all, you stood frozen in place. 

As soon as the bloody liquid had started to pour it had been like reality had come crashing in. The rational part of your brain screamed at you to run away, to find a shelter; but your eyes were stuck on your trembling hands, bathed in red. Flashes of white flowers and petals echoed in front of your eyes in a never-ending fall, your heart started to spin and suddenly you couldn’t hear anything but the loud and panicked beats of your heart. Like an infernal spiral, your mind started to fall apart, replaying uncomplete scenes in your head; the burning sensation in your chest, tearing your body apart as you gagged blood mixed with flowers, the vision like from far away, of your own body losing grip on itself and laying cold on the ground for merely seconds that still felt like hours, the waking up in cold sweat in the middle of the night, trying to scream but being unable to because of your throat stuffed with petals. God, why did anybody hear the deafening thumping of your blood behind your temples? They were so loud, and your chest, it ached so much! Maybe somebody was calling out for you, you didn’t know. It felt like your head was stuck in cotton wool, and your body trapped within the spiralling of your own mind. And why did it hurt so much, why couldn’t your chest burst open once and for—

“Y/N!!” shouted a voice over the terrified screams. “Y/N we have to go!”

You knew that voice, that you were certain of it. It was the grip on your arm that made you snap back into reality a second later. Drenched in red, Xavier looked at you with frightened eyes. 

“You heard me? We have to go!” he repeated. 

It took your brain a few more seconds to reconnect fully to reality. It wasn’t fast enough for your legs to register how to walk on your own, so Xavier had to drag you along behind him, trying to reach the room’s exit the quickest way possible. You wondered how long it had taken him to notice that you hadn’t tried to get out on your own.  

Someone bumping into you managed to get your mind focused fully again. Catching the smaller frame of Wednesday out of reflex, you immediately noticed that something was wrong. Eyes blown wide and head thrown backwards, something was going on. Immediately, you and Xavier tried to call her, to get her out of this frightening trance. She gasped for air merely a second after, like someone had just resurrected her. 

“Eugene’s in danger,” she whispered immediately. 

“What?? You let him go on his own?” you snapped back. 

“He’s in the woods he’s in danger, I see him he’s in danger,” she continued to ramble, almost like a chant. 

Swearing under your breath, you immediately let go of Wednesday muttering a hurried “keep an eye on her” to a flabbergasted Xavier; then you didn’t waste a single second and sprinted out of the room. Damn be your newfound motto about thinking about putting yourself first, you weren’t going to let that kid die. 

Reaching the outlines of the wood you cursed loudly at your impractical platforms and quickly got rid of them. Then your erratic run resumed. 

“Eugene!” you called from the top of your lungs. “Eugene, where are you?!”

Nothing but silence answered you but you didn’t give up and continued to run, hoping to not be too late. A harsh burning clamped your heart, maybe from the running; it seemed that you didn’t register anymore the petals your body unconsciously rejected now. It roamed through your lungs, making it difficult to breathe now. A sharp wheeze escaped your mouth as a particular rough fit of coughing shook your body, forcing you to stop your run for a moment, leaning on a nearby tree for support. Your lungs tugged on themselves, trying to cling to air for your dear life but nothing could go past through your blood and flowers-filled throat. You choked on nothing, tears springing from the corners of your eyes.

Before you could regain control of your own body, your knees buckled under you and you dropped onto the muddy forest floor, wheezing and clawing at your throat. You gurgled and heaved up a large group of flowers bathing in blood. The feeling of it dripping on your chin and petals stuck inside your mouth wasn’t even the worst. 

Then your ears picked up something in the distance. Ever so faintly, a weeping sound. Like pleas, a rasping voice weakly calling out for help. 

“Eugene,” you whispered. 

Out of instinct, you tried to push yourself standing but your legs flinched under your own weight and you fell limply on the ground. Some more blood escaped your half-opened mouth, dripping on your chest with the other discarded flowers. Eyelids feeling heavy, you started to feel lightheaded as the world around you began to swirl. You tried to move, but even lifting your hand felt impossible. 

The sound of hurried footsteps reached your ears, but you couldn’t find the strength to turn over to see who it was. Then without a warning, they turned you over, back on the ground. Wednesday. 

“Y/N, did you see the monster? Where’s Eugene??” 

Any word that you tried to form came out as pathetic gurgling sounds. The Addams’ eyes flickered to your blood-covered chin, then to the flowers on your chest and on the ground. 

“How did that happen?” she asked hurriedly, “did you see Eugene??”

Finally managing to articulate something, you croaked, “...further…down…heard him…please hurry…”

She gripped your hand, looking like she was torn apart between staying with you or looking out for your lost comrade. Sensing her dilemma even with a blurred mind, you weakly squeezed her hand back as an encouragement. 

“Go help…him…’f not too late…”

She nodded frantically, almost trembling, “Others are on their way Y/N,” she tried to reassure you, “hold on tight, okay? You’re going to make it.”

You could only nod weakly. But as Wednesday was about to get up, an unknown surge of panic gave you enough energy to grip her forearm tightly. Snapping her head back at you, her eyes widened even more at the pleading expression that faced her. 

“Please…” you whimpered, “don’t…don’t let him…see me like this…”

Tears roamed down your cheeks freely, and you felt your strength leave your body with every passing second. 

“What?” she asked in confusion. 

You wheezed weakly, “d…don’t let him think…think…that it w…as his f-fault,” you pleaded before letting your gripping hand fall on the floor with a thud. 

The following seconds felt like hours. The weight of your body seemed enough to bury you in the ground. Some shouts were heard in the distance. Before your mind blacked out, you remembered the shouting voice of Xavier screaming your name. Then the night took over. 

The smell of sanitized belongings was the first thing your brain registered when you emerged into consciousness again. Then the white light, blinding even behind closed eyelids. You heard and felt your whole body groan in pain. It was considerably tuned down from what you were used to, still, soreness erupted through your limbs. After a solid minute of struggling you finally opened your eyes. 

Awakening in a hospital bed wasn’t something you had ever wished for in your life. Yet, here you were apparently. Taking a look around with groggy eyes, you didn’t even notice a nurse walking by, or her saying something about notifying your legal guardian. It was only a few minutes later when Principal Weems entered your room that you connected the dots. At least, the best you could with your still fuzzy brain. 

“Miss L/N,” she said in a soft tone that was tainted with relief, “I’m glad you’re finally awake.”

“I- how long was I out?” you rasped, tongue feeling pasty. 

“Almost an entire day,” answered the principal, closing the door behind her. “How are you feeling?” 

You winced slightly, a lingering pain piercing your chest still, “Sore. What happened? Did- did you find Eugene?” 

Weems pursed her lips but still nodded, “Mr Ottinger is fine, he’s currently getting some treatment in this hospital as well.” 

You let out a relieved sigh. At least, Eugene was safe; but she still hadn’t answered all your questions. 

As she could read your mind, Weems approached your bed, a serious look on her face. 

“Miss Addams and Mister Thorpe found you in the woods,” she started. At the mention of Xavier’s name, your eyes widened in panic. Oh no, what had he seen? How much did he know? Principal Weems narrowed her eyes at your reaction but still carried on, “It seemed that you had passed out from hypoglycemia; at least, that is what both of them believe.”

Her words made you frown slightly, not quite understanding where she was getting at. The serious look on her face, cold like a stone, didn't make you feel any better. But at the same time, you thought you could detect…sadness? 

Principal Weems sat on the chair next to your bed and pulled out a folder from her bag. 

“The doctors who had auscultated you gave me this,” she said, pulling two blue and white plastic sheets. 

The first glance at the x-rays was enough for you to know exactly what it was about. 

“We need to talk about whatever this is, miss L/N.”

[Part.6] 

A/N: sooo I know I've promised some fluff but this was already so long omg, it'll be on the next part :') Enid roasting Xavier is my new religion not gonna lie (and I couldn't resist hinting a small Enid x Wednesday I'm weak okay) Also: can we please talk about Bianca's outfit at the Rave'n??? I like this character a lot honestly, because well...she's relatable as fuck. I thought she was going to be branded as the cliché school bitch but she's just a teenage girl who's dealing with shitty family problems and broke up with her boyfriend in a kind of rocky way. Yeah, maybe some petty behaviour at the beginning of the show was bitchy, but she's a teenager; we all were bitchy somehow Anyway, I hope you liked this part, I'm currently working on the next, take care of you♥♥

Taglist: [COMPLETE AND CURRENTLY HAVING A BREAKDOWN] Edit: wtf it works now??

@apocalypticnova @libdarkheart @ameliabs-world @certifeidlovergirl @aeisnoa @cat-loves-music @coolchick333 @eringaitskill @sweaterxav @sssleepless @l4venderia @persipeoni @coldheartedmar @littlebabyk @pinksirensong @nushy @raribella @igotanidea @ali-r3n @chaosfrisur @miinnttyy @hershey2813​

@cafeaueva @queenofshinigamis @xxhospital-for-soulsxx @imtherealslimmoony @one-oblivious-nerd @amphitritesangels @valckenaux @aliciahlewis @lilsunshine1092 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @ahmya-4 @katkoosik @maggie-da-rat @hopelessnessforthehopeful @mk-the-great @neenieweenie @steviesbergthuis @rayliz793 @poison-ivy-737

@katiemrty @vanillaarr @corpsebridenightamare @ghswlz @siriusblacksl0ver @poppyalice2001 @mypsychoticlove @jointherebellion215 @siriwhitewolf @teaganthemorningstar @oblivion-void @fandomstoryreader25 @darkdaydreamer @engenelxver @maddiechapman15 @hannahnikohl @pajerita19 @i-like-trains @tinafuentes @slngarza @lqveharrington @honethatty12 @users09 @honestlyka  @athenalive @sunnytkm23 @mjpark15 @joselyn001 @mermaid-painter @sagegreeeeen @hayleesworld96 @sunnyteume @itssomeonereading @vaebeau @spencershotwife @negasonicteenagefathead @   @flowersownme @eileen201804 @peacheskiwi @spiceyhotsherbet @ramiiroll @theweirdone2468 @tempressofthetarot @bambi-munson @apollo 3475  @hes-club

(don’t hesitate to tell me if I’ve forgotten you on the taglist, there had been some issues with it recently so I might have missed some usernames, if so I apologize :D)

[yuseirra]

I jotted down in my notes yesterday before I had no clue how 164 was going to unfold: I'll just leave this here before things grow any worse in the manga

I'm not sure if I even hate it, like how every chapter's been beyond.. 154? It's like I have to wait and see just what is it supposed to be and mean. But I don't like it of course. At this point the whole plot of onk feels like a fever dream and it ACTUALLY MIGHT BE, considering how the story itself started on a note that "Everything is fiction" or whatever. That truly isn't a good sign. That particular chapter where Aqua and Ruby was having that one peaceful day was super ominous too. Everything might just be their dream or something at this rate, what I want this manga to retain is the message. What they want to express and say through having created this piece. Will that be good? I have no idea how that's going to happen, if they do manage to do a splendid job after all this then, I'll still be able to respect this work but you can't blame me for having no idea. I'm baffled lol.

Okay, I digressed.. Please keep in mind this was written before I encountered 164.

I don’t know if my empathy is kicking in the wrong direction, but every time I listen to *Mephisto* and *Fatal,* I can’t help but feel, "Ah, this fits Kamiki’s story and emotions so perfectly..."

So,

When he’s this tormented, aching to see her again, drowning in sorrow like this—was it really his fault that Ai died? Did he truly bring this upon himself? Will it all just be resolved by catching him and ending his life? Will killing him solve the tragedy in the story? And if that’s the case, why are they so insistent on not showing us his story clearly? And if that’s the conclusion, then what is this work even trying to say? It’s fine if I can accept it. Really, it is, but…

He’s all alone, isn’t he? Why is there no one there to help him? Why, when he’s suffering this much, did no one understand him enough to keep him from getting to this point, just leaving him like that? From childhood to adulthood, apart from Ai, he never had anyone who genuinely helped him—so it makes sense that he became someone who misses her so deeply, unable to see anyone else. I can sense that his true nature was genuinely kind, but even that is unclear...

Why is he so alone? Why has the author pushed him to the point of complete ruin with no one left? If it were me, I’d have a reason to take it that far. This is a story, after all.

It hits me every time I listen; I can feel everything so intensely that it’s almost haunting. But am I really wrong? The lyrics aren't just ordinary; there are hints within them.

It’s just... the story is so sad... It’s crazed on the surface, but inside, it’s about someone so deeply heartbroken after losing someone they truly loved...

"I’d do anything if it meant you’d come back; I don’t care if it kills me. I just miss you so much"—that’s what the song’s about, right? And Kamiki’s story fits that exactly. I wish the manga would at least touch on that. It’s just bothering me too much. That’s the story here, isn’t it? Why is it like this… it’s just so heartbreakingly sad… why make the song this way?

And Aqua—no!!! I’m really annoyed that Aqua gave up on Ai’s wish! Fine, go live happily with Kana. You went through enough, I get it. But really... if I reread it, will I be able to immerse myself in Aqua’s side again? Why is the story like this?

Why are they locked in this cycle of killing each other? Why did it have to turn out like this? I don’t even think he killed Ai. He’s suffering so much after her death—what’s going on...

Isn’t his story worth the page space?

Actually, I feel like I understand what the author is trying to do. I know I’m playing along, even though I can see it all coming—it’s so frustrating to watch it unfold. But can I really trust the author this much...? What do I really know about them? I’d need to understand that to make any real guesses... Though I feel like I know what this is all about. Sure, if it’s going to drag on endlessly, I’d rather it just end quickly. Then I can move on and find something else to read.

But really, I know exactly how everything could all come together, like beads threaded on a string. I get why things are this way. So, if they would just do that, everything would fall into place... there are so many hints and foreshadowing for it. But the absolute constraint of the remaining page count is something I don’t think they’ll overcome, so maybe I should just let go of this story in my heart. Whatever happens, I’ll be fine either way. Even if they don’t get it right, that’s okay too.

Oh, I thought I knew. I think I still do a little? but well.

I'll draw another version of "where everything is happier" but AQUA EDITION this weekend. I can draw it out :) They better make this story make some kind of sense but GOD I hope they don't ruin my favorite characters, I'm scared...no character is safe anymore after seeing what they made out of Aqua. I feel really sorry for saying I was angry about him earlier, did he die because I said that? Did I jinx it or what.?. Oh the writer better have something really good on their mind. Because this is a really loved piece right? They won't be able to do it though if they're going to use these remaining page space this meaninglessly. And it's too short anyway. I really am the type that holds onto hope, I was still hoping till the last chapter but now I just want them to.. Keep from ruining the message any more. I do want to see a point in all this, if that can convince me, I can take it, but I cannot see it happening if the rest of the chapters are as empty as this one. I'm genuinely disappointed. I really wish I could only cheer and hope but I can't believe I'm crossing my fingers FOR THIS instead. I wish they had at least seven or eight chapters, but there is no way. I don't see it getting any sort of fulfilling ending if they're going to devote half those precious chapter space left to Aqua suffering for air, that was PAINFUL to see. I didn't sign up to see THAT, and we still don't know if he's really justified and if his actions were really worth putting himself and everyone else through the potential sufferings, I don't see ANY good coming out of this.

I'll draw something happy for Aqua I haven't drawn him for awhile, I really used to care for him and god while I am pissed at what he's done I'm just...so baffled. I didn't want him to suffer, that's one of the reasons why I was angry with the choices he's made?? Oh he's a fool. I agree with everything Kamiki's said!! Like, the things he told his son was legit kind and words of wisdom!!! He told him he had a life to live???? He-he told him to go live for Ruby because killing him would hurt her? Right?? He was trying to convince his son to go live?? Did I read it wrong? Kamiki knew about the things that his son cared for and smiled when Aqua acknowledged he wanted to live??? Would he be the one to ruin that if he's the one who's provided those reasoning? It doesn't?? Make sense to me. He was being calm and kind even while being threatened with a knife from his own son. So was there really no hope for this man. I swear Kamiki's a corrupted god then and his EXISTENCE cannot be allowed for he'd cause misery just by existing from being TOO broken and way past recovery at this point.

If they ruin him and Ai's character in the following chapters...I have no control over it ofc but.. I'm not sure if I'll be able to comprehend what this comic is even trying to say. If there are gods.. They should take pity on the characters and SAVE them.

Ai, save your husband and son, or Ruby, do it. Why is she Amaterasu. Why was that a thing? If she's that powerful of an entity in essence then maybe she'll be able to turn back time and save everyone hgsggk it's about time she does do something as one of the most powerful god in Japanese Mythology

[jenyifer]

Well I’ve finished the green creek series.

I’d say every book is 10/10. I do have one note.

But before that let’s get the sells for the other books.

Wolfsong: A boy finds his found family and his destiny. A true journey of a life a fantastic masterpiece. Heart break and joy. Truly you learn to adore the boy as much as his found family.

Ravensong: The boy’s big brother/father substitute Is a witch who is rebellious mouthy and heartbroken. This book is angry and hurt but also finding who you really are. It gives a new perspective on book 1.

Heartsong: (my fave) The Witches’ father steals a member of the found family’s pack Robbie and it breaks the pack into fractured pieces. The mind fuck of the first part of this book is staggering. I adore Robbie as much as I loved ox tbh. It’s about Robbie remembering who he is and what is the essence of of being a good member of the found family who he loves. Bonus points because the main couple in this one is transcendently beautiful.

Brothersong: The pack’s alpha of all has an older brother. This is the only book from a Bennett’s POV. Hes been a character about the entire time and now it’s time for him to take center stage as he bull rushes his problems but with love and determination nothing will stop him which is good since this ends NOW. packpackpackpack.

Alright time for the note:

I really wish that in brothersong there had been a little more Robbie I mean I get it this is Carter’s time to shine but I wanted him to be loved like a brother for Gordo and Gavin. Felt like the things he did in heartsong were only so that Kelly could have something to yell at Carter about a little disappointing. Robbie liked Gavin and seemed to have some connection which was gone in the end. Also his connection with Livingstone meant nothing in the end either. I think it’s mentioned he stands next to Gavin in one of the last fights? But maybe I’m too idealistic. I was hoping Brodie was going to come live with Kelly and Robbie since Robbie had been a good big bro for the cubs he did seem to like that living at the compound.

[blergeatkitty]

[Edit: I really wish I could figured out what company manufactured him, but I’ve had zero luck so far, I guess it’ll remain a mystery]

This is Memeio (pronounced Meh-Meh-yo).

I just realized this little guy, who I got around the time I was 2 or so, is 50 years old.

He’s in remarkable shape, considering the abuse young toddler-me put him through.

When we first met, he had a music box in him.

Apparently even at an early age I was a harsh music critic as I took such an instant dislike to the music box that I held Memeio by the ears with my little hands and bashed him repeatedly against the wall until the box quit its noise and shut up and died.

I have no idea what the melody was. Probably something insipid and predictable like “Mary Had a Little Lamb”.

Anyway somehow, even with all the abuse toddler-me put him through, he managed to survive.

Well, no. Not somehow. Thankfully my grandmother and my mother were able to perform repairs as necessary.

Although, as it was explained to me, the first thing they did was perform a musicboxectomy to remove the offfending and now-defunct musical metal mechanism.

Over time, there were rips and tears. They were sewn up.

The stuffing was eventually replaced. I’m pretty sure if I opened the little guy up I’d find balled up nylon stockings (I seem to recall my mother telling me about that once).

Of course the terrycloth skin had been patched so often and worn down and re-patched and worn down again from so much hugging and lugging (I took him everywhere, we were inseparable, and the one time I left him somewhere when my parents were traveling and we had to drive back to get him I am reminded of the Calvin and Hobbes comic that captures my desolation and despair so perfectly) that his entire outer shell had been replaced multiple times before I was able to be gentle enough that he kept his final form.

I have a vivid memory of crying a stream of hot, heartbroken tears when his little eyes fell off at one point. My mom replaced them with dark, velvety new ones while I watched the surgical procedure as if it were a life-or-death medical drama (well, for me it was).

Even the little red outline of his mouth was new (since his “skin” had been replaced multiple times.

And I’ve loved the little bastard so damn much I kept him my entire life. He’s been with me FIFTY YEARS.

And I still put him up high on a shelf in my bedroom so he has a good view and can see the whole room and I say “Hello” to him whenever I see him and give him a little pat and he’s up there on the shelf with other old stuffies so he has company.

And I know there’s not a single piece of the original toy remaining, but our emotional connection is strong and unbroken and goes deeper than all that.

In fact, I’m writing about this tonight because it only just occurred to me that this is quite possibly the most personal and intimate example of that famous thought experiment that I can possibly think of.

I refer, of course, to the Sheep of Theseus.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Goodnight.

[clothyume]

Astraea's Atelier: Ally of Justice Part Eight

Ally of Justice: Part Eight 

Summer 

Leo: The benefactor in question seems to be doing art themself, and one day showcased his work at the exhibition. 

Chiaki: Ahh, I feel like I’m somehow getting the punchline. 

Leo: Yup. And even though they were Shu’s benefactor, he didn’t take any precautions and criticised the work in a brutal manner, following the style of the exhibition. 

Chiaki: Wah. 

Leo: Don’t think Shu is ungrateful, okay? Giving favours doesn’t matter in the world of art. 

No matter how much you like someone, if the work is bad, you should say so! 

On the other hand, no matter how good the other person’s work is, if you think it's good you should say you like it! 

In reality things don’t go as ideally as that, it’s just a matter of convenience— 

At least, that’s Shu’s idea on the aesthetics of an artist. So he thoroughly criticised the work of his benefactor as he felt. 

That’s fine, but if it was Shu he would've said “what the hell?” And he’d be inspired to make a better piece. 

So, he definitely will have looked back on the people that he criticised at some point. 

I understand because I’m that type of person too, but I usually get really depressed when a piece of work that I’ve poured my heart and soul into is rejected. 

In some cases, I’ll break. 

Chiaki: …

Leo: In fact, it looks like the benefactor in question hasn’t been seen at an exhibition since that day. 

Chiaki: They were probably heartbroken because their favourite artist, Itsuki, rejected them. 

I kinda understand that feeling… 

If Sagami-sensei from Ryusei Rainbow, that I’ve always admired, told me “You’re unfit to be a hero!” I’d probably die. 

Leo: Wahaha, I’d also get depressed if Sena told me “I don’t need you”! 

Woah, no way, I’m shaking just imagining it! So cold…! 

Chiaki: Wanna turn on the heating? 

Leo: It’s okay! When I talk, my body temperature rises! Anyway, the day that Shu’s benefactor disappeared is the day that strange things started turning up in Shu’s atelier! 

Chiaki: Yup. Judging from the situation, I think the benefactor might be the culprit behind this case. 

Leo: I think so too! His work, which was only exhibited once, and the styles of the pieces appearing in this atelier are the same! 

Leo: Shu probably noticed that too. That’s why he’s upset and in a slump… That’s my theory. 

Chiaki: Yup. I think that makes sense. You’re surprisingly smart, Tsukinaga. 

Leo: Oh~? You thought I was stupid? Even though I am stupid! 

Chiaki: I’m not trying to make fun of you. At least, without your information, we wouldn’t have figured out the culprit. 

Leo: That’s obvious! You were on the other side of the ocean! 

Chiaki: Yup… I feel a little bit relieved now the identity of the culprit has been revealed. The culprit isn’t someone dangerous like the mafia, but an artist like Itsuki— Is the highest likelihood. 

The motive is still unclear. I wonder if it is harassment by planting things Itsuki isn’t good with, in order to get revenge for being rejected. 

Leo: Wahaha, if that is the case the effects were immediate! As expected Shu is disturbed and falls into a slump! 

Chiaki: No… I get the sense that it's not that. Kiryu and Itsuki said it during the day, but it's too elaborate to be harassment. 

The culprit’s motive, isn’t it something else? 

Leo: What else could it be? 

I got it! They plan to keep showing Shu pervy things so that it makes him so horny he can’t hold back anymore and pushes them down! 

In other words, the culprit is in love with Shu…! 

Chiaki: That’s one way to say it, but I’m surprised you would come up with such an idea, Tsukinaga. 

Leo: Wahaha! My Naru and I talk about this all the time! We get a lot of requests for love songs! What’s important is the dopamine rush! 

Chiaki: Dopamine.. I don’t know the details, but when it's secreted, you get a feeling of euphoria, right? 

In other words, hmm… Could it be just that? 

Shu: —There’s a theory that excessive secretion of dopamine causes hallucinations and delusions. 

Chiaki: Wagyaaa!? 

Shu: Don’t let out such an annoying scream. Are you trying to tell me that there was no supernatural phenomenon and it was all my imagination? 

Chiaki: I-It’s not that! If it’s a delusion then wouldn’t the rest of us be imagining pervy things… No, it’s strange that we’re seeing them too! 

Shu: True. So what is it, then? You trampled on my kindness, sneaked out of my sleeping quarters, then trespassed in my atelier—

If you tell me there’s no resolution, even a mild-mannered person like me is going to get angry. 

Chiaki: Y-Yup! Well, Itsuki, we just had a thought— 

Shu: …? 

[dearamberxo]

So me and my FP (of almost 5 years, together for 2.5ish years) have been “broken up” for 6m. No words were officially said though, so my heart has felt in limbo for the last 6m even though my mind knew it was over. We still hung out, exchanged “I love you’s”, hugged, kissed occasionally, had sex, it was more FWB for the last 6m. Two weeks ago I asked her for closure, I asked her to verbally say we weren’t together so I could give her space and stop holding onto nothing and maybe move on for myself since she had already. But she didn’t just give me closure, she walked away completely, and apparently has been telling people it’s what I asked of her.

I’m not handling this well. At all. I’m so broken up, torn to pieces, smooshed, emptied of all feelings except heartbroken. I would never tell her to leave me completely and mean it. I know my BPD sometimes implies things like that but she, of all people, should know I don’t mean that. I need her in my life. I need her around me.

I miss her forehead kisses that make the world around me completely fade to where it’s just me and her and no negative emotions. I miss her name popping up on my phone. I miss her fingers rubbing the back of my hand when I’m having an anxiety attack. I miss her sweet voice telling me it’s going to be okay. I miss her sunshine of a smile. I miss the energy that I felt when she was around. I miss running my fingers through her thick, soft, almost always damp blonde hair. I miss looking up into her light blue eyes as I lay in her lap. I miss resting my head on her sun-kissed chest while we hugged. I miss her being the big spoon just before we fall asleep. I miss being able to reach across the bed and find her next to me. I miss feeling her pull me closer to her when I’m having a bad dream. I miss exchanging meaningful songs with each other. I miss smelling her. I miss seeing her in all her different shades and patterns of blue. I miss her hips and butt and breasts and tummy, omg her tummy is my favorite. I miss touching her soft skin. I miss hearing her pant and skip a breath when I touched certain parts of her. I miss her touching me. I miss watching her dip her salad instead of pour the dressing. I miss her squinty eye in photos. I miss her tongue poking out while she slept next me. I miss telling her about my day and her telling me about hers. I miss when she’d send me texts telling me how much she loves me. I miss spending time with her and her kids, in a make believe family. I miss her bed. I miss her meals.

I miss her, everything about her.

If I could go back to the beginning, I’d never push her away just to see if she’d stay. I’d hold onto her in just the right amount so not to be overwhelming.

So if you read to this point, fellow pwBPD, how do you grieve the loss of your FP and then move on? I know it’s only been 2 weeks. I know it’s a journey and it’s different for everyone. But any tips are kindly appreciated.

I missed a whole week of work after she left because I mentally couldn’t handle it, and then almost another week because I let myself go and got really sick. So, time to myself didn’t help at all. I’ve tried finding new hobbies but every hobby I try to pick up, somehow correlates back to her. I can barely listen to music because it’s like every song is her, even tried a new genre and all I got was feelings of her. And music is my LIFE. So that’s even more heartbreaking. I’ve gone to therapy. Etc.

I don’t feel like time will heal this wound. I feel like I drastically have to do something to heal it.

[anabdaniels]

Flufftober 2023 with Agent Whiskey- Day 25- Dancing together

Paring: Agent Whiskey x Female Reader

Word counting: 750

Rating: General audiences

A/N: Another piece of self indulgence, ladies and gentlemen.

The most you procrastinated, you couldn’t avoid organizing your laptop files forever, so you got comfortable sat on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate, and started the digging work. Not surprisingly, after an hour, you were distracted by the file folder with a lot of old pictures. You passed most of them with no problem, remembering about the situation or laughing at the dubious result of the pictures until you found that precise group of images from the period when you were in the 9th grade. At first, you repeated yourself that you had moved on that subject, and the next minute you were moving your laptop to the side to avoid your tears from falling on it.

You didn’t even realize when Jack entered the living room and took a sit by your side, only noticing his presence when he gently placed one hand on your shoulder.

“What’s the matter, sugar?” he asked softly and you could only lean towards him, resting your head against his shoulder.

“Nothing serious.” You answered with your voice slightly hoarse as he passed his arms around you.

“C’mon, we both know you don’t get on this state for nothing. Tell me.” Jack kissed your forehead and started to caress your hair.

“It’s something really silly.” You glanced at Jack and he still seemed curious on the subject. “Do you remember that tradition of doing a big birthday party when a girl turns 15 that we have in Latin America?” Jack nodded promptly, still looking curious about where that was leading “Well, I just found the pictures of all my friends’ parties and got a bit taken aback by the fact that I never had a 15 birthday party because right after I mentioned the possibility of doing it, my parents already started to say how it should be done and not even giving me the chance of suggest a thing and already saying that I’d have to invite a ton of relatives that I didn’t even liked or talked to just because at some moment they had invited my parents to their kids birthdays. I ended up giving up on the party because having to choose between not doing anything or doing a party that I’d completely hate and have only bad memories about, I chose not to do anything.” You sighed quietly “I know it’s a silly thing to be sad about, but I suppose my inner teenager still hurt for having seen all her friends having cool parties, with a fancy dress and that corny waltz with family and friends.” You couldn’t help a chuckle despite the few tears that were still falling down your cheeks. Safe to say that Jack felt completely heartbroken with all the new information; he knew you hadn’t done the party, but the complicated reasons behind it were something new.

“I’m so sorry for that, sweetheart.” He said in a warm tone, pressing a kiss on the top of your head and drying your tears “I’m afraid I can’t do much about your upset feelings. But there’s one thing on your list I think we can solve.”

“You mean?” you asked confused.

“Wait a second.” Jack answered with a smirk and kissed the tip of your nose before getting up, grabbing his phone, and connecting it to the living room sound system, reproducing your favorite song a few moments later.

“Jack…” you smiled when he leaned towards you with one hand on his back and reaching out the other for you.

“Ya ain’t gonna leave me hanging here, right, honey?” he said in a playful tone, smirking at you.

You could only smile and hold his hand, getting on your feet and smiling more when Jack pulled you close to him, passing one arm around your waist and resting his forehead on yours while calmly staring to move around with you on the rhythm of the song. You didn’t even realize the silly smile on your face, making you look like a teenager in love, especially when you leaned forward to kiss him.

Jack couldn’t be happier to see you happy, letting his hand caress your back and kissing your cheek when you rested your head on his shoulder. If you could read his thoughts, you would be surprised by the dozens of ideas for your birthday that were running through his mind, after all, he wouldn’t waste the chance of seeing you that happy once more.

Flufftober Masterlist

[aajjks]

BC!JK

nonononononononononono.

this isn’t real.

this can’t be happening.

not here.

not now.

why here?

why now?

you just feel like someone ripped your heart in two and then, for the fun of it, ripped it more. tearing your poor heart into tiny pieces until it couldn’t be torn anymore.

you can’t believe this. you LIVE with him. what are you supposed to do now? why would he choose now to break your heart and not wait until the both of you were home? why didn’t he tell you before you both left so you could already have your stuff packed?

it hurts too much. this is all too much.

so here you are walking, basically jogging somewhere away from eunwoo so he doesn’t see your tears and what hurts most is that he doesn’t come after you. this breakup is real.

you thought you made it clear that you’d support eunwoo through it all and if it were his career he had to prioritize then you were okay yet here he is choosing his career over you and you don’t mind it but dammit you mind it!!!

you supported him through thick and thin, been there when people thought going professional was crazy, and in return you get a broken heart. no, it’s not his fault y/n. he’s just doing what’s best for him but what about you? you can’t live without him.

you love him.

finally, you’re somewhere to cry it out. to just let it out and a few minutes later, you hear someone’s footsteps…

“eunwoo?” you call out but when the person makes it to you, all the hope you had is gone.

“o-oh. jungkook, h-hey” you quickly wipe your tears with your hands pretending to be “okay” when it’s obvious that you aren’t.

“i-i’m okay. just, uh, just something in my eye. y’know how eyelashes are. gosh, they suck” you say as you keep trying to wipe your tears away but more just keep falling.

God, this really hurts.

you take a deep breath and try to give jungkook a smile to indicate that you’re okay but since he’s here…

“eunwoo and i broke up” you blurt out in a shaky voice. “like…he JUST broke up with me”

“please don’t tell anyone, okay? i don’t want anyone finding out. you’re the only person who knows and i’d like to keep it that—“

“y/n!!” yells danielle who bypasses jungkook to pull you into a hug.

“why are you crying? did something happen?”

“eunwoo and i had an argument that’s all. i’m okay”

“why are you out here with jungkook?”

“we…we were just catching up” you lie and you’re hoping jungkook will piggyback on your lie and convince danielle so she doesn’t fret too much.

“catching up about what?”

“his life, danny. what else would we be catching up on?”

“mhmm…do i need to punch eunwoo in the face? you look like you’ve been crying”

“i was but i’m okay and now i want to talk to jungkook….ALONE”

“oh, excuuuuse me. i’ll talk to you later then” danielle rolls her eyes and sizes jungkook before heading back to the party and once she was far enough you let out a sigh and thanked jungkook for helping you fool danielle.

“sorry about that” you say “but uh…promise you won’t say anything about eunwoo and i, okay? i want to be delusional a little longer if you don’t mind”

jesus, you’re pathetic and you’re sure jungkook thinks you are too.

he wants to fucking jump, he wants to laugh, he wants to scream.

Eunwoo broke up with you- abs even though he wants smile right now, he can’t because it’s literally hurting his heart to see you so heartbroken and crying like this.

Because all because of your ex-boyfriend. That’s right.

“Oh yn sweetheart don’t worry about it- I swear I’m not gonna tell a soul… your secret is safe with me.” He winks at you, approaching you, because he wants to comfort you.

And he wants to personally thank eunwoo for breaking your heart so now jungkook can mend it and steal it for himself, although he deserves to get punched in the fucking jaw for making you cry. Jungkook is now standing right infront of you and he takes the opportunity to pull you in for a tight hug.

His tattooed fingers sliding over your pretty hair as you reluctantly cry in his shoulders, and your heartbeat is already synchronized with his- he can feel it.

Oh poor you.

“Yn shhh… please don’t cry… listen I’m here for you..” he whispers in your ear, trying his best to soothe your trembling shoulders. Your sobs are breaking his heart into many pieces but this is for your own good.

Jungkook is having the time of his life having you in his arms and God… your scent… is so exotic, he can get high on it. Jungkooks heart is still fluttering with the way you asked Danielle to leave so you could talk to jungkook.

Aw.

“Yn I’m here for you… hush sweetheart… it’s going to be alright…”

Of course, he knows his you’re feeling because heartbreak is something he has experienced first hand, thanks to you.

“D-Do you want to leave? I could take you somewhere yn.”

[primusfortuna]

Rouge ⟡ Love Wrapped in Ribbons of Gratitude (Sun 02)

[Normal Route] [01] [XX] [03] [Moon Route]

“Ribbons That Bind Our Feelings”

Boy: Hey hey, Mom! Didn’t you think his singing was, like, so cool? Mother: ...... Rouge: ...Hello. Rouge: How’d you like my song? Mother: ...Awful. Emma: (Huh...?)

Mother: I’m... an awful mother.

Mother: Knighthood has been a deep-rooted piece of our family for generations. It is a great honor, and it’s something that delights my son.

Mother: But now, just look at how genuine that happy face is. I don’t know where to place my values anymore.

Rouge: Wait, so was my singing really that awful?

Mother: Of course not. Your singing touched the hearts of so many people... Mine included.

Rouge: I know I’m just some bard, and I don’t really have the right to speak for others...

Rouge: But what if you tried talking everything out?

Rouge: About your feelings. And your son’s. Talk lots and lots and maybe some things will come to light.

Rouge: Please listen to what he has to say. And I’ll pray that you won’t fail to see eye-to-eye.

Emma: (Rouge-san...)

Mother: ...Yes, I’ll do that. Thank you, our wonderful bard.

Rouge: Not at all, that’s my line!

Emma: (What a relief... Rouge-san’s music opened this woman’s heart.)

Boy: Mister, I want you to have my ribbon!

Rouge: You’re giving it to me? Are you sure?

Boy: You’re supposed to give these out as a way of saying “thank you” today, right?

Boy: You’re the number one person I wanna thank right now!

Rouge: ...I see. Thank you.

With a sweeping wave of his hand, the boy and his mother disappear back into the crowd.

Rouge: Haha. I can’t believe I got one.

Emma: ...Earlier, you said you don’t have much and you don’t leave anything behind...

Emma: Do you still feel that way now?

Rouge: ...Yeah, I guess so. That hasn’t changed.

Rouge: But it does make me happy to have this ribbon.

The mellow smile he’s wearing seems different than his usual one.

Emma: Rouge-san, there’s something I want to tell you.

Rouge: Hm?

Emma: If you disappeared... the Moon Wanderers and I would all be heartbroken.

Rouge: Huh? Wait, where’s this coming from all of a sudden?

Emma: It’s not sudden. You’ve been totally implying that you might disappear someday.

Rouge: Ah... Ahhh, was I making you worry this whole time...?

Emma: Yes! But I thought... I’d make it hard on you if I said anything.

Emma: I’m sorry, though. Please let me get it off my chest.

Rouge: Emma-chan...

Emma: I’d be so sad if you disappeared, Rouge-san.

Emma: Also... with presents, I’d be happy with anything, whether it lasts or not.

Emma: Knowing you put your heart into it is enough.

Rouge: ......

Emma: Ah! I’m not trying to beg you for a present or anything―

Between my clumsy attempts at explaining myself, Rouge-san gently places his hand atop my head.

Rouge: I hear you. I’m really sorry for making you worry.

Rouge: This was selfish of me. I acted like I was keeping other people in mind, but all I thought about was myself.

Rouge: I ended up doing the one thing I hate the most.

Rouge: Sorry.

Emma: ...I didn’t want to make you apologize. I just wanted to let you know.

Rouge: Mhm, I understood you perfectly. On that note, there’s something I want to tell you, too.

Rouge: I can’t promise that I won’t disappear, but...

Rouge: I really do love you and the other Moon Wanderers.

Emma: ......!

Rouge: Actually... I was thinking about you and the rest of ’em while I was performing today.

Rouge: I felt like I could sing a whole lot freer than usual! Haha.

His words are genuine and tender. When I see his warm smile, my heart feels full...

I move to untie the ribbon from around my wrist, then gently tie it back around Rouge-san’s own.

Emma: This represents my wish that you might never disappear.

Rouge: ...Heh, I didn’t see this coming. Classic Emma-chan, bringing that song to life.

Rouge: In that case...

Rouge-san unties the ribbon from his hair, binding it around my wrist.

Rouge: This is how I feel right now.

Rouge: Thank you... for your honesty towards me and all I make you put up with. I mean it.

Emma: That’s my line.

Tied to our wrists, our ribbons flutter in the wind.

And in his hand, Rouge-san thoughtfully clutches the ribbon he received from the boy.

← Prev ❖ Next →

[sukirichi]

black magic [02]

request. arranged marriage + enemies to lovers (sukuna is a simp and lowkey a housewife) + sukuna’s first time with his wife

cw. slight angst, insecurities, lots of making out, virginity loss, fingering, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasm, sukuna worships reader, spitting, cum eating, teasing! sukuna, face-off kamasutra position, soft dom! sukuna, unedited fic, pwp

song inspo. leave the door open (bruno mars)

note. i want a husband sukuna 

part one | part two

Sukuna gently takes your palm into his, soft and warm lips meeting your bruised knuckles that have seen years of hard work in exorcising curses like him. Uncanny that he showed so much affection to his enemy by nature, treating you with such care and tenderness that shouldn’t have been so possible for an evil creature like him. You’re supposed to love it, be grateful for it, yet his sweet gestures only irritate you, even more so when he retires to bed just like that without even so much sparing a glance your way.

You’ve been married for a year now that you’ve had enough of his confusing gestures towards you. One moment, he was showering you with love, regarding you like you were the light of his life before he’s walking away the next moment and pretending you don’t exist.

He was so infuriating. He would kiss you and hold you, but never touch you or be in the same room with you any longer than an hour. Even in bed, he’s always making sure his back is turned to you, peeling your arms off of him each time you attempt to cuddle him on times it got too cold. It hurts and dwells dangerously at the back of your mind – it would’ve been better if he got angry at you and announced he despised you, but he never did – that his hot and cold nature bothered you more than anything else.

You’ve eventually had enough that you just stopped caring. Barging in during his bath time, your nostrils flare upon seeing your husband so relaxed in the tub. Even after a year of marriage, he’s so unaffected and unaware by your need for him.

He really doesn’t care.

“Little one,” Sukuna blinks as he sits up from the tub, strong arms hanging off the edges of the bed. You admit; he really was beautiful and a desirable man that you couldn’t help it, couldn’t help but crave the one thing you knew you weren’t supposed to have. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you not want me?” you suddenly demand, tears already streaming down your face faster than you would like. Hell, you never wanted to cry in the first place. “Am I not desirable enough for you?”

Sukuna chuckles nervously.

Oh, great, now he’s nervous around you?

“What are you going on about?”

“Don’t act like I don’t know what you’re doing,” you snap, “Every time we go to bed, you always put some distance between us and keep to your side of the bed. You push me away when I try to reach for you and you never touch me or kiss me on the lips. I-I understand this marriage was against your will, but I’m still your wife and I need you, okay?” chest tightening uncomfortably, you place a hand over your poor, aching heart that is further crippled when Sukuna’s face falls. “I just feel like...you’re sickened by me, like you cannot stand to be with me in the same room as me. It makes me feel like...it would’ve been better if I wasn’t here.”

You don’t know what kind of response you’re expecting from him after your outburst, but definitely not him standing up to loom over you. You respectfully avert your eyes from the sinful image of water dripping down his defined body, but it’s too late and he’s too close already that you won’t be surprised if he can hear your heartbeat pumping frantically.

He was large and imposing, truly a terrifying sight right before you especially with his tattoos that trail and wrap all around his muscular thighs, yet you’re not nervous because he could hurt you.

Rather, you’re agitated because he’s so close, so within reach that if you step a little closer, you could easily find the warmth you’ve been dreaming of for so long.

You’re frustrated because you want him though you shouldn’t.

Just then, Sukuna caresses your cheek and pulls the both of you back in the tub with you above him, and him lazily grinning above you. You gasp, abashed, that your clothes were soaked to the brim and it stuck close to your damp skin until it took the shape of your silhouette. Sukuna, on the other hand, is completely unbothered as he eyes your pebbled nipples poking through the thin material of your nightgown and simply drags you forward on his thighs.

“S-Sukuna—”

“You really have no idea, do you?” he whispers lowly, his long claws carefully tracing down the sides of your jaw. “My innocent, little lamb...the reason I distance myself from you is because every waking day that you are right beside me, my self-restraint thins, and I’m not sure I can hold back a little longer from you taming me,” Sukuna’s dark eyes brims with something unreadable as he holds your gaze. The look he wears is beyond intense that he takes your breath away, literally, and you’re left gaping at him silently. “I push you away because I want you more than anything else, but I respect you and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You-you want me?”

“Clearly, little one, you’re inherently unaware of how captivating you are,” Sukuna says as if if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and you shiver at his words – or from the cold water, you don’t really know. “Stop looking at me like you want me to kiss you. I may not stop once I get a taste of you. Like I said before – I won’t touch you unless you asked.”

You do remember him saying that from your first time together, but your head goes blank, and no words leave your lips even as you mouth nonsense.

Sukuna taps your lips. “Speak, little one. You need to use your big girl words.”

“Kiss me,” you vociferated in one breath, desperately clutching on your thighs. “Please.”

For a moment, you think he’s going to push you away as his eyes narrow into suspicion, but soon he’s tugging at your collar to bring you down for a heated kiss. Sukuna is tugging your robes down until your collarbones are exposed, his tongue and lips leaving yours to leave marks and love bites all over the patch of skin instead. You tug at his hair as you crane your neck to the side, succumbing to the undeniable pleasure his warmth and greediness consumes you with.

Grinding down on his groin, you notice he’s already hard. Hard for you, and this realization makes you kiss him back hungrily as you whimper above him.

Sukuna is feverishly sucking on your tongue and pawing at your breasts the next instant before the spell is immediately broken just as it happened. For before you could reciprocate the same amount of eagerness he kissed you with, Sukuna is already sliding you off of him until you’re on the other side of the tub, left staring at him wordlessly with his lips red and swollen.

“Not today, little one. I think that’s enough.”

You hear your heart shatter into pieces. Pride; it was about the only thing you had, but it seemed even that had been taken away from you.

“You really don’t want me.”

Your voice cracked as your eyes began to tear up.

“No, love, that’s not what I meant,” he groans into his hands, “Believe me, I’d spent enough nights sweaty and frustrated knowing I can’t ravish you and have those lush thighs around me already,” waiting for him to continue, Sukuna sighs and holds you closer, though he could only caress your knee right now that you’re wary of getting hurt again. “This is your first time, okay? I want to make it special for you – you’re not experiencing bliss with me if it happens impulsively with you barging in my bath.”

Something like hope lights up inside you.

“Y-you’ll really do that for me?”

“Tch, brat, don’t go all soft on me now. I wouldn’t suggest testing my patience even further,” he playfully flicks your forehead when you tried to kiss him again, but Sukuna is already tilting his cheek to other side before you could. You would’ve been heartbroken again that he’s refused you, but his words held more than reassurance – and so did his uncomfortably hard cock – that all previous insecurities vanished into thin air.

Sukuna grabs you by the waist to plant your feet on the ground outside the tub, carrying you as if you were nothing more than a ragdoll to him. “Now go and get changed. I’ll fuck you another time.”

“Don’t say it like that!”

“My deepest apologies, little one,” he commented sarcastically with a roll of his eyes, though his smile turned genuinely warm the last minute. “I’ll make love to you when you’re ready.”

He must’ve lied.

You’re annoyed because Sukuna is intentionally avoiding you and acting like you don’t exist. Pissed off, you go into a curse exorcising spree to get the King of Curses out of your mind, reminding yourself that he was vile like them and he didn’t deserve even a second of your time.

Although no matter how hard you tried, your mind still kept racing back to him even as you come back home, bloody and tired when you realize the temple is eerily quiet. Not a living soul could be found around, no servant fretted at your arrival and your husband most definitely did not lurk in the shadows like he usually did. The only sign the temple hadn’t been abandoned yet were the lines of candles trailing down the hall to your shared room with him, and you gasp as you see the petals decorating the bed and rose-scented candles lit everywhere.

Sukuna was nowhere to be seen.

But he was felt as he kisses your neck, his hands untying the knots of your yukata. You stiffen in reflex before relaxing as soon you recognize his scent. Behind you, Sukuna pauses, his lips still in the column of your neck.

“You’re upset.” He wasn’t asking; rather observing.

“Not anymore,” you mumble in response, although you weren’t entirely convinced even as you come closer to the bed, your husband trailing behind with his pinky looped to yours. “Did you do all this for me?”

“Yes. Do you like it?”

“I love it, thank you,” you hide your smile for him, not wanting him to see that it’s so easy to alleviate your anger to him. He has to earn your approval again, so you turn to him with a forced scowl and arms crossed against your chest. “But why were you ignoring me for days?”

You intended to look intimidating, but the King of Curses only laughed.

“You look cute when you’re mad. Plus, it made you want me more than you already do, didn’t it?” he chastised, the implications of his words making you pout in humiliation. Sukuna is quick to step closer to you, cupping your cheeks into his hand, and you hated how easily you leaned into his touch. Nevertheless, you turned away from him, using all your energy to muster your most serious ‘I’m not bothered’ face.

“Aw, don’t be shy, it’s written all over your face, little one,” he breathes on the shell of your ear, hands trailing down to lightly drape your clothes below your shoulders. Unable to hold it back, you end up shivering at his featherlike touches.

“It’s okay. I loved hearing your soft whimpers every time you touched yourself in the bath, thinking that I’m probably not around to hear, hm? You forget I sense everything,” his laugh is mocking yet laced with lust, “From the frantic singing of your heart, the way you tense up a little when I’m around, or the way those beautiful legs of yours clench together each time my robe is a little loosened,” Sukuna dips his nose right under your jaw where his tongue darts out to lick a flat stripe down your neck, and just like that, you’re breathlessly clutching on his white robes that are already unfastened. Damned tease.

“Even the smell of your arousal is enticing me to enrapture you right now, little one. I can practically hear the silent begging in that pretty little head of yours.”

You forgot how to breathe.

“B-but I’m dirty, I just finished exorcising curses.”

“Would it be comedic if I said I am aroused at the thought my wife could easily end me right here and now?” shaking your head at him, Sukuna smiles mysteriously. “But you won’t, would you? You need me too much for that,” he leans closer than he already was before, his lips just a breath away from yours. “Tell me, do you want me?”

“Yes,” you whispered breathily, “Please, Sukuna, touch me.”

“It’s my love to you.”

“Not Your Majesty?”

“Hmm, that is delightful to hear as well,” he says, “But let’s our drop our titles. For now, whatever happens between us is intimately between man and wife. Now go clean up, little one. I’ll be waiting for you once you’re ready.”

You waste no time into darting to the bath, scrubbing the blood and dirt on each nook and crevice of your body until you’re squeaky clean. You’re about to head back to bed when you quickly practice puckering your lips to make yourself look desirable, muttering hopefully flirty lines that would make your husband want you more before calling it quits from the embarrassment you caused upon yourself.

By the time you’ve completely dried and moisturized yourself to absolute perfection that you’re confident of yourself, you find Sukuna emptily staring into the ceilings. “Done already? Someone’s eager.”

You roll your eyes at him. Why did you like him again?

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“Gladly, little one,” he confides, patting his thighs to encourage you to climb onto him. Now that things were actually getting real and your endless dreams would soon become reality, your palms grow sweaty as you settle yourself onto his lap. “You tell me right away if I’m hurting you, you understand? One word and I’ll stop; though I doubt you’ll be in your right mind to want to stop once I’ve had my way with you.”

You don’t really understand much of what he’s saying anymore.

He’s kissing you so slowly, so passionately and you’re both undressing each other that nothing but desire and lust clouds your thoughts in that moment. You’re drunk on the sweet taste of him, his natural musky scent beyond intoxicating for your mortal self to handle. Too lost in the bliss of finally being intimate with him, you don’t realize Sukuna has already pushed your towel down until it pools at your waists. His sharp intake of breath is the only thing that pulls you back to reality as he greedily takes in each beautiful curve and dip of your body.

His stare is so fervid that you grow shy and cover yourself, where Sukuna quickly grips your wrist as a warning. “No. You do not hide yourself from me.”

“Then stop staring too much.”

“Is it a sin to appreciate divine beauty?” he tilts his head to the side and blinks at you innocently. “You are ethereal, my wife.”

Before you could be too flustered to respond, Sukuna fortunately saves you from the embarrassment by kissing you again, though it doesn’t last long before his mouth is trailing from your collarbone and down to your breasts. You mewl as Sukuna eagerly sucks on one breast, the other showered with attention from his rough, calloused palms. Meanwhile, you push his clothes away to expose his strong shoulders which you use as leverage because his ministrations make you feel like you’re losing control over your own body.

Rolling your hips on his erect cock, Sukuna groans through your skin, squeezing your breast hard enough that you can’t take it anymore right after he tweaks your nipple. “Love, please, I need you right now.”

“Patience, little one,” he reminds, “I need to prepare you well.”

“I’ve been waiting for months, Sukuna, I’m sure I’m more than ready.”

“Emotionally, sure, but physically?” he chuckles darkly, “Little one, do you not understand your nimble fingers cannot compare to my cock? I might hurt you if you’re not stretched out enough.”

“Then stop kissing me and start—” you’re cut off with a gasp, your nails sinking down harder into his skin the moment his fingers began to rub at your pussy. “Y-your claws—”

“I kept them for years, but I had to cut them just for you, little one. What do you have to say about that?”

“Thank you,” you offer with a breathy moan, head falling into his shoulder from the overwhelming yet welcomed intrusion. “Oh, Sukuna, it’s too good, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” he bites the shell of your ear and tugs at the lobe, basically biting it between his teeth to distract you from another long and thick digit pushing past your walls. “One more?”

“O-oh!” his thumb has now joined the party by rubbing soothing circles on your clit, effortlessly pulling your lips aside with the rest of his digits to expose your sensitive bundles of nerves for him. Sukuna keeps his eyes on yours the whole time, watching and drinking in the face you make – pleasure written all over your features from the swollen lips, pupils blown wide, and desire pooling in swirls of curiosity and eagerness. It’s a face he never wants to forget; a face he wants to see more of that Sukuna eventually lays you down against the pillows, admiring how unreal you looked in that moment.

Hair splayed all over the pillow, legs spread wide open with his hands caressing your core, and a strong arm gripping his with small gasps accompanied by desperate calls for his name to do more, please you more – your words instantly translate into commands.

“You are so beautiful,” Sukuna praises rather angrily, “Never forget that. Each inch of you, fuck, you are the most dangerous mortal, you know that?”

You don’t have time to react before he’s going down on you and spreads your legs apart, keeping them pinned down to the bed. The stretch hurts but he easily soothes your pain by massaging your inner thighs, crawling down to kiss your ankles, then licking all the way up to your knee where he stops for a second, only to happily be on your sopping cunt the next moment. He’s peppering barely there kisses to your inner thighs just on your outer lips, his breath warm and teasing on your heat.

It feels like he intends to ruin you tonight.

“Sukuna, stop teasing!”

“What do you want me to do, little one?” he grins from between your legs, the vibrations of his chuckles resonating deep within your cunt that sporadically clenches right in front of his face that’s shamelessly imprinting your scent deep into his memory. “How can I make you feel good?”

“You know how!”

“You need to tell me so I know. I can’t read your mind.”

“Your mouth...”

Sukuna’s smile grows wider the longer you struggle to find your words, but exactly how in the world could you say such vulgar things out loud? He is far more patient tonight than any other day, however, that Sukuna props himself to his elbows to peer up at you innocently. “Where do you want my mouth and what should I do with it?”

Swallowing the rest of your pride, you finally utter: “T-taste me...down there.”

“Here?” he prods your clit, pulling a high-pitched gasp from you. Your husband’s smirk is nothing short of condescending just before he finally kisses your clit, sucking the bud into his mouth until you writhe before him. It takes minimal effort for someone of his strength to hold your legs in place, his grip just tight enough to be commanding. The thought of being completely in his mercy made your head spin in circles, your chest heaving up and down from the pleasure he was blessing yet torturing you with. “You’re so responsive, little one. I’m honoured I’m the one who gets to make you feel like this.”

“M-more, please, I need more.”

You expect him to tease you further, but your husband must’ve noticed that you’re too edged and decided to have pity on you. He doesn’t waste another second before he’s wrapping his lips around your pussy, treating it as if it were your own lips that always tasted like honey.

Sukuna is completely immersed in the act of pleasuring you with his tongue only, so much so that he’s silent aside from the little hums he lets out while you moan for him.

Unable to care about being too loud anymore (not that you needed to since Sukuna had made everyone go back home to give you both privacy) you find yourself throwing your head back, legs falling open wider to grant him deeper access to your most sensitive parts. Sukuna continues to massage your inner thighs and even drags the back of your knee to rest on his muscular back littered with battle scars and tattoos, the dark markings on his skin flexing with each movement. His eyes are closed and his nose is grazing against your swollen clit that had reddened already, your pussy lips opening up like a new world he had to explore, and explore he would.

Your hands find solace in his hair the shade of gentle sunsets that were often shared in lazy kisses and subtle touches, nails dragging across his scalp just enough to make your husband hiss right between your legs. Something begins to tighten in your belly as you grind your clit onto his face, too absorbed in the mind-numbing sensation of his tongue now poking against your entrance and the past barrier slowly blooming open to welcome him.

With shaking legs and a chest drenched in sweat, pebbled nipples further stimulated by the cold breeze drifting in from the windows, your eyes snap open as that rope snapped deep within your belly.

Your gaze shoots down below you to watch your husband ardently lapping your juices like a man starved. Now this wasn’t new to you – you’ve heard enough about the King of Curses and his bloodlust. Whispers of his thirst and desire to slay entire towns and even feast on mortals’ souls was enough to keep you at bay when you were still a young sorcerer, for it was already a blatant warning that Sukuna would feed on anything and anyone, that his hunger was quite something that couldn’t be satiated.

But seeing him unhinged and a slave to pleasing you has never felt more erotic that you ride out your orgasm, toes curling and legs trembling every now and then from the aftershocks of your high.

Slowly, Sukuna darts out his tongue one last time just to leave a teasing touch to your clit before he’s crawling right above you again. The ceiling is obscured by his large frame hovering over you, arms trapped between your head and his gallant member poking just between your thighs. You end up shivering under him as your husband regards you – with affection, pride, curiosity – gentle in comparison to his true nature in caressing your cheek, both of you unbothered by the slick that meets your skin.

“Are you okay?” he breathes out, watching your fucked out smile bloom into a felicitous grin.

“Perfect,” you mumble, although rather shyly. You’d seen him naked before, but never hard, and never with the intention that soon you’d truly be connected – in heart, in body, in mind, and in soul. The thought makes your heart skip a beat, your eyelids growing hooded as Sukuna absentmindedly traces patterns on the curve of your hip. “Sukuna...you’re perfect.”

Your husband laughs, the sound of his glee contagious that you’re chuckling with him as well. “Have you seen yourself, little one? I think I fall for you harder each day.”

His sudden confession brings about a silence in the room, but it wasn’t comfortable, and neither was it tense. If anything, it destroys any traces of previous hesitation and pent up anger that’s only been formed in the first place due to the fact he was Curse and you a sorcerer.

The nature of your relationship had been paradoxical to begin with, perhaps even beastly, but nothing was beastly about it now as you wrap an arm around his neck to bring him closer to you. And Sukuna was just that – the man, the Curse, the feared King whose simple mention of his name made mere mortals tremble – the same person that somehow understands your silence better than anyone. No words were needed when he could read your mind and knew his way around your heart a little too much, not once leaving his lips on yours as he sits on the edge of the bed and pulls you before him. Both of your skins are hot and flushed, yet you’re greedily touching and pulling at one another, his large palms clawing at your ass to pry your pussy lips open while you drag your nails down his chest.

He grunts into your mouth; the sound deep and masculine that it vibrates all the way down to your core. You gasp into his mouth – your breath immediately swallowed by his tongue that dances with yours – once you feel him slip inside.

The stretch is unlike anything you’ve felt before.

You’ve fought and exorcised countless of curses that pain was no stranger to you at this point, but never had you felt so...alien to a sensation both tragic and addicting. Pulling away to breathe air back into your lungs, your forehead knocks with Sukuna until your noses are brushing against the others, mouth hanging open as your walls struggle to accommodate him.

“Oh, oh god,” you mewl above him, eyes wide open as you witness each inch of his cock disappearing from the motion of you swallowing his length whole. He was big; terrifyingly so, and you shake with fear that you wouldn’t be able to take him or that he might rip you apart. “Su-Sukuna—”

“You’re fine,” he reassures by pulling your cheeks back to him, your delicate face trapped between his rough hands. Although his eyes are dark with lust, there’s a tenderness behind them that placates you. “You can tell me to stop if it hurts. Do you want me to stop?”

“No.”

There’s no lie or hesitation behind your voice. Sukuna watches your face carefully to detect any sign of discomfort, but you want this, want him, and the pleasure combined with the tolerable sting only makes you desire him even more. The mere fact that there had to be pain and sacrifice, that you had to place your whole trust in him before you could truly succumb to the pleasure and love that created light and hope in this world was enough for you to want to keep going.

“I’m okay,” you tell him, and Sukuna wipes away the frown on your face with the pads of his fingers.

He allows you to go at your own pace until you’re completely seated on his cock, the heated member throbbing so hard inside you that you think he’s poking and prodding right deep into a place where you could hold him close the most.

It’s too much and too good that for once, you let your walls crash down as you bury yourself in his shoulder. Sukuna holds you closer by pulling you right into his chest, large arms wrapped around your frame while your breasts tease the rugged and taut muscles of his body. Even the slightest movement of you adjusting yourself on his lap makes his cock graze against your bumpy walls that you’re both moaning left and right. As you struggle to make sense of the sensations bursting within you, Sukuna’s self restraint hangs dangerously by a piece of thread. You can tell by how he’s cupping your ass and lifting your body up effortlessly before he slides you back down on his thick pole, that single, simple gesture repeated over and over again along with him bringing his hips back up to meet your warmth sending a scorching heat all over your body.

“Love, that’s, fuck,” you curse incoherently, and upon hearing a profanity leave your otherwise innocent lips makes something snap inside your husband.

Sukuna is gripping onto your hips for dear life as he bounces you up and down on his cock, tilting his head back just to scrutinize your connected bodies. A thick ring of white cream surrounds the base of his cock until it slides down on his veiny cock, sounds of skin slapping against skin and the loud squelching of your pussy even more beautiful than the screams mortals have moments right before their death in his hands. But Sukuna be damned – you felt too good that this might as well have been his death.

“You feel so fucking good,” he praises through gritted teeth, easily manhandling you and throwing you back on the bed where he’s on you in a second. “Look at you, little one, taking my huge cock so well. It’s like you’re made just for me – you want to be with me, don’t you? I would please you, fuck you good every day, yes, fuck!”

Sukuna ended up hitting a spot that equated to uncharted territory, causing you to tighten around him with a sharp cry. “Oh, right there, right there!” you rub your clit for further stimulation, moaning louder when he hoists both your legs on his chest.

He presses your legs and hugs his around his arms, flipping it to the side until your feet are right beside his ears. Sukuna has gone completely feral – his pace and drive animalistic, growling like a predator consuming his prey before he softens, kissing your ankles just as he grips your legs to make them squish together. The sudden lack of space makes your pussy tighter and more sensitive for him that you’re fisting the sheets right beside you, too fucked out to even form a coherent sentence. You’re babbling mindlessly on how good he’s making you feel, completely limp and motionless under him from how deep he’s hitting.

“Please, please, please—” you cry out, reaching out just seconds away from your orgasm with the need to touch him. Sukuna gives in and lets go of your legs until they fall at your side, stretching you out further from when he leans forward to capture your lips in a kiss.

He’s caressing your cheeks and swipes a thumb over your tears, quite nearly folding your half. His balls are slapping against your ass the harder he thrusts inside you, but his hips are stuttering and he’s panting right beside your ear that you can tell he’s close. It prompts you to wiggle under him to wrap your legs around his waist, bringing him closer and clutching his scalp just to have him impossibly close, because even thinking about letting him go sounds too painful, especially now that he’s claimed you as his just as you’ve marked him yours.

“I worship you,” he blurts out with a few final thrusts that has you crumbling under him in a silent scream, your focus completely on his dark, passionate eyes as you came. Sukuna then laces his fingers through yours while he pumps himself inside you, your walls milking him of everything he’s got. “You are divine, my wife, you have bewitched me for eternity.”

“Sukuna,” you call out weakly, and he’s quick to litter kisses all over your face from your whimpers. “Sukuna-I-I—”

“Shh, I know, I know,” Sukuna places a finger on your lips, letting you calm down from that earth shattering orgasm he just gave you. He pulls his spent dick out a minute later and scoops up your cum that’s spilling out from your pussy lips, his gaze never leaving yours the whole while he sucks his fingers inside his mouth. He’s so dirty and erotic that you’re clenching around nothing once more, but he shakes his head with a low chuckle as if he can sense you want more. Sukuna kisses you just to transfer the cum mixed with spit right onto your tongue, gripping your jaw when your eyes widen at him. “Swallow it, little one. That’s just a taste of what I could give to you.”

You don’t know what pulled you to actually swallow it – it tastes bitter and even a little salty, though it had a bittersweet tinge of scent to it that you don’t mind, especially not when Sukuna just stares at you like you’re most his prized possession.

Sukuna is right by your side the next moment. He’s tamed the next moment, pure comfort and bliss from the way he’s tenderly running his fingers up and down the sides of your body like he’s memorizing the feel of you around him. You both don’t say anything as you place your cheek right above his chest, arms locked on his chest in a desperate cling, but neither does he want you to let go. Sukuna threads his fingers on your hair before you feel his lips caress the crown of your head, mumbling sweet nothings right as you’re welcoming sleep.

Until he taps your breast.

“Little one?”

“Yes?”

“We never had our honeymoon, do we?” he queries, and you twist your head to face him as your brows draw together in thought.

“No, I don’t think we did. I pushed you away from me on our first night together, remember?”

Sukuna’s eyes shone with mischief. “How could I forget? You tried to kill me right after our wedding,” both of you share a laugh at the memory, though there were no more harsh feelings or contempt shared, only love, and love only. Sukuna softens under your gaze as your chuckles tinker down to a giggle, your finger teasingly drawing circles on his chest as you bite your lip. And like always, Sukuna knows you just a little too well. “I know that look. What is it that you want, little one?”

“You.”

“Me?” he repeats with a dark chuckle that sends heat right down to your womanhood. “You already have me, little one, your wish has been granted a long time ago.”

Your face burns. “I mean, I want you. Again. One more.”

“One more?”

“Or maybe a lot more,” you pipe up, but Sukuna’s smirk is growing more and more devious that your former tenacity soon dwindles down into meekness. “O-only if you want to. You must be tired.”

“Little one, I’m the King of Curses, did you really think I would be tired from fucking my sweet little wife?” At his words, Sukuna tilts your chin until you’re left with no choice but to be held captive under his lust. He leans down to teasingly bite your bottom lip, and you’re already breathing hard as you feel his hands begin to trail down to your core that’s more than eager to take him all over again. “Like I said, I worship you, and I’m nothing but a bewitched man who would gladly fuck his wife as long as she asks.”

Safe to say, you couldn’t exorcise curses for quite some time.

[genshin-no-simp]

Diluc x Reader (Smut)

Pairing: Diluc x You/Reader (Female)

6.4k words below the cut.

--------

You liked Kaeya, a lot. And everybody knows it, including the blue haired Captain himself. You tried not to make it so obvious but when Kaeya flirted on with you it was hard trying not to fawn over him.

Currently you were sat in Angel's Share, happily chatting away with Diluc who was behind the bar tonight. You enjoyed his company even if he was a bit rough around the edges. That's what made him so charming, you thought.

"You think Kaeya likes me too?" You asked the red head, who shrugged his shoulders in response while polishing the wine glass.

"It's hard to say but I think so?" For Diluc it was hard watching the woman he fell in love with go on about another man. But he wanted you to be happy even if it wasn't with him. Because for him seeing your smile and happy face was enough for him.

"Hmm okay. I was only wondering since he asked me what my favourite flowers were the other day." You smiled softly at the memory.

"Well it's certainly a possibility..." Diluc couldn't help but frown and feel a tad bit jealous. He wanted to know what your favourite flower was too. Just as he was about to ask, the door to the tavern opened and in came the devil himself along with a woman clung to his side, holding a bouquet of cecilias. Diluc could piece together what's happening.

"(Y/N), don't turn around." He spoke softly, despite the anger seering through him.

You looked at him nervously, "W-why?" You asked in equal softness. What was behind you.

"Ah (Y/N)!" Kaeya cheerily called out. Your heart leaped out of your chest in delight and you spun around to greet him.

"(Y/N)." Diluc wanted to reach out and stop you but it was far too late. Besides its not like he could've done anything to keep you from knowing.

You felt you heart drop at the sight. Who was this woman? Why was she clinging to his arm and why did she have a bouquet of your favourite flowers. Kaeya caught your stare and smirked a little.

"Ah this is my girlfriend?" Kaeya stated ever so casually.

It was as if your world had come crashing down on you. And though you wanted to run away and cry, you held strong and pulled your best smile.

"Aww, that's great. I'm happy for you. Despite the overwhelming saddness you felt, you were happy for him.

...who were you trying to fool? You weren't happy at all. For anyone. Especially that bitch.

You turned away from them, picking up your glass that had been empty since before this perdicament. You sighed feeling even worse, you just wanted to drown your sorrows away. You could feel your eyes burn with tears as you gazed at the bar counter. As you chewed on the inside of your lip, Diluc slid a fresh glass of wine to you.

"Thanks," you forced a smile.

"Don't worry about it." It was the least he could do to try and cheer you up.

That certainly was unexpected. Diluc looked over to the table that now occupied Kaeya and his supposed girlfriend. Who even was she? Diluc didn't regconise her, and he knows everyone in Mondstadt. From what Diluc could deduct, Kaeya was acting no different than usual. He didn't even look as if he wanted to be with that women. So just what was he up to? Regardless of what it was, Diluc knew it wasn't going to be good.

After a while you couldn't stand how happy that girl was. Laughing and giggling like that, it was like she was doing it on purpose to piss you off.

It should be you! You stood from your seat at the bar and fished into your pocket.

"It's fine, (Y/N)." Diluc shook his head. He wasn't about to take money from you, when you hadn't been ordering. He's been the one giving you drinks on the house.

"Oh no, I couldn't Diluc." You continued to rummage through your pocket.

"(Y/N), it's okay. You just head home." He gave you a gentle smile. There was something about it that made you smile back even though you didn't want to.

"I appreciate it." You said your goodbyes with Diluc and didn't stop yourself from taking one final look at Kaeya. You regret doing so when you saw him kiss her hand.

Little did you know, he had planned that. He was watching you the entire time, waiting for the right moment.

When you got into the comfort of your bed, you cried. And you cried till you had fallen asleep. When you had woken up the next morning, the headache you had was unreal but it didn't come close to the ache in your heart. Well heartbroken or not life must go on and you had work to do. It was spring now and the tailors you worked at was getting in the spring stock. You had to be there earlier than usual to help set up shop. This would be a good way to distract yourself from Kaeya.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It has been two weeks since you last saw the Cavalry Captain. Safe to say you avoided all his usual spots, and just when you thought you were over him, he pops out of nowhere.

"Well look who it is. I haven't seen you in a while. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were purposefully ignoring me." Kaeya smiled but it seemed to only darken his facial features.

"Of course not. I've just been super busy with work. I haven't even been to the tavern in a while." You giggled hoping he wouldn't question you.

While it wasn't a lie, you were busy with work, especially now in spring a lot more people came in for custom orders. But you weren't run ragged that you couldn't visit the tavern. It was just the other place you avoided like the plague considering it's where Kaeya went when he had time off. Though you were sad you couldn't see Diluc. But were you certain he understood why you didn't go. You would have to make a plan to visit him.

"Hmm," Kaeya leaned in close which made you blush, "well in that case, it looks like you're free now. How about accompanying me to the tavern tonight?" He pinched a strand of your hair between his fingers bringing it to his lips. It was unfair how much this man was affecting you right now.

"I would but I don't think you're girlfriend would like that very much." You sounded a lot more displeased then you had anticipated but Kaeya on the other hand seemed to be pleased with how upset it made you.

"Oh that little bird." Kaeya paused for a bit, "she broke up with me." Kaeya placed a hand over his heart, giving you a sad face. You own expression softening.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." Maybe now is your chance.

"Well then, I'll ask again. Will you keep me company tonight?" He leaned in close to you again, you shyly looked away with a blush forming in your cheeks.

"Okay, just for a little while then." You couldn't help but give into him.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You felt yourself spiral down the path that is Kaeya. Ever since his so called girlfriend had broken up with him, he had been back to your side, well more like he had you wrapped around his finger. You were like his personal little puppy.

Kaeya found it highly amusing how quick you were to run to his side at his beck and call, and that's what made it all the more sweeter to watch you break when he was tired of you.

Which was one of those times, you cried softly at the bar in Angel's Share.

Diluc had closed the tavern early upon seeing your disheveled state when you had entered the bar. Now he sat beside you with his arm wrapped around your shoulder. You rested your head on his and sniffled pathetically.

Diluc couldn't stand to see you like this. He was so heartbroken and he didn't know what to do to help. Killing Kaeya might do the trick. It would definitely devastated you but you would get over him, it would be worth it, in the long run, he wouldn't have to deal with the irritable captain himself. No Diluc wasn't going to kill Kaeya even if he was really tempted right now. As Diluc held you, he wondered what Kaeya was even thinking. Why would he play with your emotions like this? You're such a sweet and caring girl. You were also very hardworking. It wasn't fair on you to be treated this way especially when Kaeya knew you liked him. Kaeya doesn't even deserve your attention. But he doesn't know how to tell you, or if you would even accept it. And maybe he shouldn't tell you how he feels about you, it's probably best if he just stays as your emotional support. It was better that nothing, he thought. He didn't want to ruin anything.

"I'm sorry Diluc. I don't mean to go on like a baby. I just don't understand. Why am I so stupid?" You sniffled, trying your best to dry up your tears that seemed to fall endlessly.

"You're not stupid. Why would you think that?" It made Diluc upset to hear you degrade yourself like that.

"Because I've realized that Kaeya doesn't care about me at all. I'm only a plaything for when he gets bored. Yet I can't seem to stop him." You covered your face with your hands, and began to cry again.

Diluc thought about it for a while. You needed a distraction from Kaeya. He had a plan for that but he didn't know if you would agree to it. The next thing you needed was to stay away from him. But that seemed to prove very difficult for you to do. Diluc would think of something.

"I can help you." Diluc spoke softly giving you a gently squeeze.

You whimpered looking at him. You dreaded to know what you looked like. Red puffy eyes with a equally red and runny nose. The epitome of unattractive ness. Yet Diluc still thought you were as gorgeous as ever.

"You can?" You blew your nose with a tissue.

"You need a distraction, so use me." Diluc was being so soft with you. Since he was always so stoic and monotone it was weird seeing him like this but it was certainly pleasant. Somewhere it made you feel special.

"Use you?" You weren't too sure what he meant at first but then it clicked, "No Diluc, I can't." You shook your head.

He was afraid of this, not that he didn't expect it of course. He knew you weren't that type of person.

"It's fine, I want to help you." His arm around your shoulder dropped to your waist pulling you closer to his side. Your breath caught in your throat. He was pleasantly warm.

"But I can't do that to you." It wasn't right. You couldn't use Diluc in that type of way. You'd rather go to a brothel...maybe not you weren't too fond of the either of random men touching you.

Diluc lifted your chin so you were looking at him. His ruby eyes pierced through you, lighting your core on fire, "I don't want some random person touching you." He couldn't help but frown at the idea, that some strange man or woman would touch you and...no that wasn't going to happen. He wouldn't allow it.

You found it incredibly sweet but strange, why was he so adamant about it? That's when you figured it out.

"Diluc...do you have feelings for me?" You asked softly while looking up at him.

He averted his eyes from you briefly. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised that you figured it out. But now it would be even harder for him to get you to agree.

"I do." He looked back at you.

It made sense now why he was different with you. Why he was so gentle and soft with you. And that's why you couldn't accept his offer.

"And that's why I can't." Your voice as below a whisper as he brought his face closer to yours.

"You don't need to worry about my feelings. Let me help." He cupped your cheek. Your heart began to race. Was this really okay?

"I'll make you a promise. We can set boundaries later, for now just submit yourself." Diluc closed the gap between your lips and kissed you.

You didn't make any move to stop him and instead gave into him. Diluc was glad to feel you had accepted when he felt your lips press back against his. He pulled up you off your stool and onto his lap. Your legs draped either side of him as you straddled him. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pressed yourself against Diluc's chest while his hands gripped tightly at you hips.

Diluc had to admit it was nice finally having you against him like this. So much so he was having a hard time holding himself back. But he had to for your sake. This was about you after all. And he was going to do everything he could to get you to forget about Kaeya.

Slowly he removed himself from you. You panted softly feeling a little sad at the loss. A light blush dusted your cheeks. Diluc removed himself from his seat and gently he set you onto the ground.

"I have a room above the tavern." He took your hand and lead you out of Angel's Share and up the stairs that were connected to it.

You were always curious as to what this room was but you never thought it would be a living quarters. Thought it did make sense, the Dawn Winery was a quite a distance away.

Upon entering Diluc made sure you were completely comfortable before he did anything, even if he himself was getting incredibly restless and uncomfortable in his pants.

Diluc started by gently kissing your neck while his hands lightly roamed your body. Slowly but surely he removed each layer of clothing, making sure to give every part I'd your body equal attention.

Kissing, licking, sucking, touching.

Every action drove you deeper into ecstasy. Soon you were tugging his clothes off. Your back arched as you let out a moan. You gripped the bedsheets below you tightly as you felt Diluc enter you. His large girth stretched you wide despite all the prep work he did with his mouth and fingers. You pulled him close latching yourself onto his lips. Diluc groaned softly into yours as he ravaged you. He would enjoy this type of intimacy while it lasted.

Your climax was nearing and quick, you begged to Diluc to go faster and he happily complied. Picking up the pace he thrust into you deeply. It wasn't long till you were coming all over him with a loud moan. Which in turn caused Diluc to cum inside the condom he had on. He panted softly as he slowed his thrusts to help you ride out your high.

Once your breathing returned to normal, Diluc slid out and sat at the edge of the bed. You rolled onto your side and your eyes fell on his back which was married with scars. You realized just how hard he worked to keep Mondstadt safe. You reached out with your hand to touch his back when he turned his head to look at you. Quickly you retracted your hand.

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned.

You gave a gentle smile. Honestly you felt great and it was thanks to Diluc.

"Yeah I am." You yawned soon after and giggled, "just a little sleepy."

Diluc smiled in return, "well you can sleep here if you want. I still have some things I need to take care of." He said as he started to dress himself.

You took Diluc up on his offer and after he was gone, you dressed yourself and was soon fast asleep. When you woke up the next morning, you could hear the birds chirping.

"Good morning." Diluc's voice called out from the mini kitchen. He brought over a cup of coffee for you, which you gladly accepted. Then he handed you a piece of paper.

"Morning. What's this?" You took a sip from your cup and looked at the paper now in your hand.

"I told you, we would set some boundaries right?" He sounded a bit indifferent.

"Ah right." You nodded and you both proceeded to set up your boundaries.

When the list was complete, these were the conditions:

1. No kissing.

2. No frontal sex.

3. No hickies.

4. No oral (except you receiving).

5. No aftercare.

You felt a bit guilty about the fact that Diluc didn't ask for anything in return. But he reassured you that he was fine, since this wasn't about him anyway. He was doing this for you which in the end made you feel even worse. But you accepted it.

Whenever you needed the distraction, Diluc was always there to provide for you. You did your best not to go to him too often. You were glad you were still able to talk to him and hang out around him without things being weird. And it was thanks to the boundaries that you two had set. Diluc too was happy you didn't distance yourself from him and he did his utmost best to contain his feelings for you so he wouldn't make things awkward, even if it was difficult for him. Though he supposed it wasn't all that bad, he got to have you after all. He just wished you actually his.

You had to admit Diluc had helped you a lot by doing this for you. You just wished you could do something in return for him but you didn't know what, so instead, in your time off and after work and providing Diluc wasn't gone off somewhere you would take the chance to learn about him. You found that the both of you had a few things in common. Like birds for instance. You loved birds they were so beautiful and graceful. There were also so many different types. So you were delighted to find out that Diluc had his own bird companion and you were ecstatic when he showed you his nightingale. You were like a giddy child when you were able to pet him. Diluc fell harder for you after this moment. It was becoming harder for him to keep this up.

The more time you spent with Diluc, the more you thought about the red head. He was so different to Kaeya in every way. For one he actually cared about you and your feelings, he didn't use you for his own amusement. And everytime you were near him you felt so at ease like nothing else in the world matter. This feeling that you had towards the Pyro user...was it love? But then what had you felt for Kaeya? Perhaps Kaeya was just an infatuation. You were confused, you had to think about it more.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It's been about a month now since you started this arrangement with Diluc. Things had gotten a better for you. You didn't fawn over Kaeya as much as you used to. Naturally the blue headed male noticed and he was hardly amused by it. But he could still sway you every now and again. You still had no idea why he held this power over you, you guessed you still weren't fully over him. That was until both Kaeya and Diluc got sent out on a mission together.

You had no idea how Jean had managed to persuade Diluc into working for the Knights never mind with Kaeya. It made you a little nervous when they had both left Mondstadt. You knew about they're unstable relationship and honestly you were more worried about Diluc than you were with Kaeya. Diluc was more temperamental. He fell into Kaeya's bait traps everytime. You couldn't help but pray that everything would be okay and that Kaeya wouldn't annoy Diluc too much.

You were starting to get incredibly restless as the days went by. The boys still hadn't returned and it's been five days now. They should have been back by now. To keep yourself from worrying to death you kept busy at work and you tried not to bother Jean or the other Knights too much with regards to them. Jean reassured you that you would be the first person she would notify once they had returned.

During their time away it gave you time to think about both of them and what they meant to you.

When you thought about Kaeya. His looks and appearance was the first thing that caught your attention. He was exotic and unfathomably handsome. He was hot sure but his personality was a major let down. All he did was use people for his own gain and amusement, he didn't really care about anyone but himself, as long as his plan went accordingly, that's all he cared about.

When you thought about Diluc. He made you happy. Neither his looks nor personality was what came to mind first but instead it was how he made you feel. He actually made you feel appreciated and loved. Of course you knew his true feelings for you and that's one of the reasons he was so kind to you but even before you knew, he still treated you kindly and respected you. But besides that you found him adorable. He wasn't used to affection or having friends so sometimes he came across meaner than intended and his intentions were pure, it's what made him cute. And its not like he wasn't attractive. In fact he was absolutely stunning. Dressed or undressed.

You blushed deeply thinking about it. You only ever get to see him naked briefly before you were face down on the mattress. You felt your body grow hot thinking about it. Kaeya was never as thoughtful as Diluc. Diluc only thought about your feelings, he was never selfish. If anything you felt like the selfish one.

But you would change that, you understood now. Diluc was the one you loved and for a while now not Kaeya. You only hoped Diluc still felt the same.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

As you were walking home one evening, there was a commotion at the front gates. Curious you went over to investigate. Your heart both leapt with joy and sunk at the same time. In an instant you were over to Diluc's injured body, swating away the other Knights who dared try to help. Diluc was surprised to see you and how protective you were being of him but he was grateful, not to mention the happiness that he felt was unreal. He couldn't stop the small blush that graced his porcelain skin.

Kaeya on the other hand finally understood why it had been getting increasingly harder to charm you. He was annoyed he had to find a new plaything to train.

You walked Diluc to the room above Angel's Share upon his request. You had insisted on going to Barbara but Diluc was adamant that he didn't need to see a healer. You only sighed and instead began to patch him up instead after you convinced him to take a bath. Now with clean skin you could clearly see all the wounds on his body not only that but he definitely had at least one broken rib with how deep his side was bruised.

"Diluc, you-"

"I don't need a helaer." He cut you off. You frowned looking at him. You knew the basics of first aid but that was about it. This was out of your comfort zone.

"I'll tell you what to do." He could see the worry in your eyes. It wasn't the first time he's been injured like this or even worse. He's learnt how to deal with all sorts of injuries by himself. This thought upset you. Diluc's been alone for so long and he's been willing to let you in. You wouldn't waste it.

You gave a small nod and followed his instructions. Who knew sweet flower oil and mist flowers combined had healing properties? Not you, but you did now. You began to bandage his wounds after thoroughly rubbing the oil onto his skin. It felt nice to be able to touch him. If he wasn't so injured you would've pounced on him here and now. You made sure to be careful not to wrap the bandage too tight. Sitting back you observed his body more, just like his back, his chest and arms were also littered with scars. Your heart swelled thinking again about how much he does to protect his home and it's people.

"What's wrong?" He asked. You didn't realize you had spaced out while staring at his chest. Lifting your gaze to his you gave a small shake of your head.

"Oh it's nothing." You smiled.

"Are you sure? Do you need-"

It was you're turn to cut him off, "You're in no state doe that. Besides that's not it. I was just thinking." You said packing away the access oil and bandages.

Diluc tilted his head to the side. You giggled softly, "don't worry Diluc. I was only thinking about you." You winked.

Diluc blushed deeply and to distract himself he began putting his shirt back on. Once he was a little calmer he asked you why.

"Because you need rest, you work too hard." You grabbed his coat from him, and he gaped in shock.

"Well if you want this you'll have to get in here." You pulled the duvet back revealing the tempting bedsheet underneath.

"Are you trying to blackmail me with my coat?" He asked not even believing it when he said it out loud.

You gave a soft giggled, "I mean, if it's working than yes." Diluc couldn't help but chucked himself.

"Alright then." Diluc smiled softly.

He decided to give you this one and get into bed. Besides he would need to recover his strength quickly in case you needed him.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

As soon as Diluc had recovered you had visited him at the Dawn Winery. Where you sat straddling his lap, your hand in his hair as you ravaged his lips.

Diluc was surprised when you had unexpectedly arrived at the manor and whisked him away to his office. You would've taken him to his bedroom but that was too far unlike his office, where you had him seated on the couch. It was unlike you to ever initiate like this, Diluc was unsure what to think of it, but he would be lying if he wasn't enjoying it. The feeling of your lips against his as your tongues fought for dominance, that he gladly gave to you once he felt the fervour and intensity you held. And the feeling of your fingers tangled in his disheveled fiery hair you light tugs every now and again was driving him insane.

But what did this mean? Perhaps it was best not to know, in case he recieved an answer he didnt want to hear. But he didn't want to do this anymore. Especially if this is what it was coming to. But he would soon find his fears were for nothing.

Removing your lips from his a string of saliva connected you to him.

"Diluc?" You whispered softly, removing your hand from his hair you cupped his cheek gently, rubbing your thumb over his plump moist lips.

Diluc shivered under your touch as his lips parted ever so slightly. Experimentally you slipped your thumb inside his mouth. Diluc let out a soft moan as he sucked on your finger. A satisfied hum escaped your throat.

"Diluc?" You asked again, removing your hand from his face.

His eyes meet yours in silent question. His chest heaved with heavy breaths.

"Do...do you still love me?" You couldn't stop the shake in your voice.

Without hesitation he spoke, "of course I do." His hands gripped your hips tightly as he pulled you closer to his chest. You bit your lip feeling his erection through his pants.

"Thank goodness," you pressed yourself against him, closing any distance that was between you two, "I love you too."

Without giving him any time to really process you smashed your lips against his once again.

You loved him? Diluc never thought he would hear those words come from your mouth, as sad as that sounded. He couldn't help but push you away. which left you quite upset.

"Diluc?" Your heart sunk. Did he not actually love you?

Diluc saw the hurt in your eyes and immediately regret pushing you away but he needed to be clear about this.

"Sorry, I just want to be sure." He felt guilty about it but it had to be done.

Now you felt selfish, being so greedy and not taking Diluc's feelings into consideration. So you cupped his cheeks resting your forehead against his.

"Sorry I was being a bit selfish wasn't I?" You smiled softly, "but it's true, I love you. And it's not like how I was with Kaeya, he was an infatuation I realized. But you Diluc, I want to be with you. I don't want to be apart from you."

Diluc could hear and see the love and affection you had for him, he didn't know why he had doubted you, but he just wanted to be on the same page.

"I'm sorry it took so long, it must've been tough for you. But I promise, this is a two way street now," your eyes shone mischievously. Diluc was both nervous and excited at the same time.

"Diluc~" you cooed into his ear.

A shiver went down Diluc's spine as he gave a little hmm, that more came out as a moan than a question.

"You've done so much for me." You licked the shell of his ear. You felt his grip tighten on your hips holding you desperately close.

"Let me," you gave his ear a little kitten lick, "show you my appreciation." You lightly nibbled and sucked on his ear while grinding down against him.

Diluc gasped, his hips instinctively bucking up into you. You let out a little "ah" into his ear before working down his jaw with soft butterfly kisses. You made quick work of his dress shirt. You were grateful he wasn't wearing his coat or his vest. Dragging your fingers down his chest, you attacked his neck with your mouth, you began leaving dark hickies on his pale skin.

Diluc's hands moved on their own, one travelling up your shirt, his bare hand caressed your waist, squeezing and pulling you closer, while the other had slipped into your shorts to massage your butt cheek.

You hummed in delight, your hands dropping further down his abdomen to his black pants. You teasingly tugged on them, eliciting a grunt from the male beneath you.

You gave him one final kiss on the lips before lowering yourself off his lap and onto your knees, pulling his pants down with you. Diluc watched impatiently as you slide your hands up his thighs, you could feel how the muscles on his thighs tensed under your touch. You giggled softly, it was cute watching him squirm for your touch. You reached up further palming him through his boxers. Diluc bit his lip, it was so unbearably tight but it felt good at the same time.

"(Y/N)." He wanted you and he was getting a little desperate.

"Just be a little more patient love~" you cooed softly giving him a few strokes. Diluc grunted tilting his head back. That's when you took the opportunity to pull his boxers down, freeing his hard leaking member.

Your eyes widened at the sight, you couldn't believe how he could fit inside you. But you weren't going to complain. Spreading his legs slightly so you could sit between them, you leaned down licking his tip. Diluc shuddered picking his head back up to gaze down at you just as you took his tip into your mouth.

Diluc's hand found purchase in your hair, the feeling of your hot mouth around him caused him to push you further down. He wanted to feel more of you. You moaned around him, your mouth stretching wide to try and accommodate his size. You gave soft sucks while pressing your tongue against a vein on the underside of his member. Diluc bucked into your mouth, pushing deeper inside. You winched softly due to the light burning sensation in your mouth. It would take some time before you got used to this, but you weren't going to back out so soon.

Diluc moaned giving your cheek a gentle rub. As if it apologize for the pain. Your eyes fluttered closed at the simple gesture. Diluc could feel how you relaxed your mouth, deciding to be a little selfish he thrust into your mouth again. You choked on a moan as your eyes opened to gaze up at him. His eyes meet yours with a burning passion that set your core on fire. You couldn't help but moan at the sight. Each moan you made sent vibrations down Diluc's throbbing member. He began to thrust lightly into your mouth, he didn't want to hurt you after all. But you wouldn't mind if he was a little rougher with you. So you reached up with your hand, sliding it from his thigh to his balls, and massaged them.

"Shit." Diluc swore as he furrowed his eyebrows, his hips jotted upwards roughly into your mouth, his tip brushing the back of your throat. You did you best not to gag, and moaned around him. Your saliva dripped out the corners of your mouth and down the sides of Diluc's cock.

Diluc didn't know how much longer he could last like this. You truly were a sight to behold, watching you struggle to take his cock but yet do so well for your first time with him.

"B-baby, wait," he called out as he slowed his thrusts. You took his cock out your mouth with a wet pop. You licked your lips panting softly through lidded eyes.

You stood up and slipped free from your clothing, letting it pool on the ground. Once you were bare in front of him Diluc wasted on time in pulling you back onto his lap. Diluc could feel how wet you were for him, when his cock slipped between your folds.

"Look how excited you are." He cooed, pressing his tip against your needy hole.

"Oh Luc please," you firmly gripped his shoulders as you pushed yourself down onto him.

Diluc grinned as his nails dug onto the flesh of your hips.

"You beg me, yet proceed to take matters into your own hands." He certainly was not complaining. In fact it thoroughly turned him on, he was loving this side of you.

Instead of giving him a proper reply you mewled out his name, and continued to sink onto his cock. You never got used to this feeling. How he stretched you out and filled you so good. Your walls tightened around Diluc as he helped you up and back down onto him. Despite his previous sessions with you, this felt so different and so good. It was intimate.

Bringing your lips to his slightly parted ones, you stuck your tongue inside and began bouncing up and down on him. Diluc moaned into your mouth but this time dominance was his. He pushed your tongue back into your mouth as he claimed your hot cavern for himself. Your hands fell from his shoulders and to his chest, your fingers grazing over his nipples. Diluc groaned feeling you clench around him again. Breaking the kiss he pushed you down onto the couch as he spread your legs wide. You wanted to protest but this new position allowed Diluc to hit that special spot inside you. All previous thoughts disappeared as Diluc rammed into. You screamed in pleasure as he abused your g-spot that he's learnt so well.

Between your moans was the wet slapping sound as Diluc thrust into you. Your slick coated his length and seeped out of your pussy, it made it so easy for Diluc to ram into you. Diluc leaned down to attack your open neck, your arms instantly wrapped around his neck pulling him closer. Just as you did, Diluc left many love bites on your skin, from your neck to your chest.

You could feel the familiar knot bubble inside you, and Diluc could feel it. He could feel how your body trembled and your walls convulse around him, sucking him in deeper. He panted and groaned gripping your hips he lifted them up. Throwing your head back you came heavily on Diluc's cock. His grip tightened and he came inside you. You let out one final moan as you felt him fill you up. It was hot.

Diluc waited a few moments before pulling out of you and gently placing your hips back down. You let out soft gasps as you came down from your high. You gazed up at Diluc and smiled reaching out for him. The red head returned your smile and leaned down, letting you pull him down onto your chest as you held him close.

Diluc muzzled into your breasts letting out a content sigh. That's when he realized he didn't use protection and started freaking out. He pulled away from you in a panic, the abruptness scared you as you held your arms to your chest.

"What's wrong?" You asked concerned.

"I didn't use protection." He wasn't against having children, he just didn't want to have any too soon.

But you only sighed in relief waving him off, "it's fine, I started taking birth control, a while ago."

Diluc looked at you with a raised eyebrow, "define, a while ago."

"Right after you returned from your mission." You sat up to face him properly.

Diluc found himself smirking, "oh so you planned this?"

You couldn't help but blush and look away from him without answer. Which resulted in a chuckle from the Winery owner.

You were gently pushed back down onto the couch, "I mean I'm not going to complain, I get to fill you up until I'm satisfied."

You shuddered in delight and pulled him closer, "I'll take everything you give me."

Diluc grinned, "good girl." He praised sliding back into your still wet hole.

[eddieredmayneargentinablog]

"Yes, That’s Eddie Redmayne Playing America’s Most Prolific Serial Killer"

The "Fantastic Beasts" star tells IndieWire why he couldn't escape the pull of his darkest character yet for "The Good Nurse."

By Kate Erbland

It’s the week before Eddie Redmayne’s latest film, Tobias Lindholm’s “The Good Nurse,” hits select theaters after a robust festival run. The Oscar winner is in an SUV, zipping from one engagement to the next (no, he is not driving; yes, he’s delighted to discover that the car itself has wifi, which makes Zooming possible). He’s been everywhere lately, Toronto to New York, Mill Valley to Newport Beach, Los Angeles to London. He’s all smiles.

And, hilariously, the genial Brit somehow lights up even more when asked why he took on the role of Charles Cullen, potentially America’s most prolific serial killer (29 confirmed victims, with a possibility of 400 total), for the Netflix drama.

Me: “This is so not an Eddie Redmayne role. You’re a serial killer!” Redmayne: “Oh, that’s like the loveliest thing you could possibly say!”

He continued: “I think the joy of what I do, the job that I do, is getting to push yourself in directions that one’s self doesn’t expect, and hopefully also the people who watch your work don’t expect. I read this script, I knew nothing about the story, and what unfolded for me was this sort of box-less, undefinable piece. It felt unlike anything I’d read before. On one hand, it was a true-crime piece, but it didn’t have any of the salacious qualities or the fetishization that I sometimes attribute to that genre. It felt like a superhero story, a real life superhero story about what this woman was able to accomplish.”

Based on Charles Graeber’s book “The Good Nurse: A True Story of Medicine, Madness, and Murder” and exactingly adapted by “1917” screenwriter Krysty Wilson-Cairns, Lindholm’s take on the very en vogue sub-genre of serial-killer procedural drama gives Redmayne a quite unexpected role. Serial killer! The man who played Stephen Hawking! The wizard who loves magic animals in the “Fantastic Beasts” series! Heartbroken student Marius Pontmercy in “Les Misérables”!

How does that work? One possibility: Redmayne maintains a very healthy outlook on all his work. Asked about the Wachowskis’ infamous misfire “Jupiter Ascending” — which co-star Mila Kunis recently admitted she knew would be “a flop” after its budget was snipped — and the actor can’t help but laugh. “It lives on in meme history,” Redmayne said, likely referring to his own Razzie Award-winning role as “Balem Abrasax” in the inscrutable 2015 fantasy picture.

Still, his memories are only good, if a bit weird. “That world was so beyond my level of imagination,” he said. “I just wanted to go and swim in [the Wachowskis’] imaginations. I had sort of no idea what I was doing, I didn’t know anything about the budget, but I had a really enjoyable time making it. But I also wasn’t in it that much, and I just remember that the character I was playing was incredibly vain and was squishing up humans in order to make them into serum to live longer, so the thing what was most important was that I had a six-pack and a spray tan. So there was a lot of sit-ups involved and me clenching my attempt at abs whilst speaking in a strange voice.”

As for what’s next for the embattled “Fantastic Beasts” franchise — initially announced as a five-film outing, although three films in, controversy is up and box office is down for the “Harry Potter” spinoff series — Redmayne was less sure. Asked if he knew any information about a fourth film, he said, “I don’t. It’s more a question for J. K. Rowling and David Yates and Warners, but I don’t know, I’m afraid. I can’t add to that,” he said, though he’d likely enjoying getting back into character as “magizoologist” Newt Scamander after the Charles Cullen gig. “I love playing Newt, he’s a sweet man,” he added.

So, about Charles Cullen. Over the course of his two-decade career as a nurse, Cullen is believed to have killed as many as 400 patients — mostly by tampering with IV bags and filling them with lethal doses of digoxin, insulin, and epinephrine. After fellow nurse Amy Loughren (Jessica Chastain) helped bring him to justice in 2003, he was charged with 29 murders and sentenced to 11 consecutive life sentences. Lindholm’s film never gives a reason for Cullen’s crimes. Neither did Cullen. That was intriguing.

“I had that feeling when I read the script of, ‘Can I play this person without the why?’ But then I kind of thought on that and ultimately realized that the why and knowing the why is our need as human beings to feel safe,” Redmayne said. “As in, if we answered why Charlie Cullen did this, then we would be able to other him and go, ‘Oh, he did it for this reason, and that’s monstrous and we would never do that, so we’re safe.’ Whereas actually, that’s not how the world works and that’s not what he did.”

While the film doesn’t delve into Cullen’s backstory, Graeber’s book includes the killer’s “intricate” biography. Redmayne reeled off some of the more horrifying revelations of Graeber’s book with ease, like “he first tried to kill himself and someone else at age seven” or that, while Cullen passed all the psychiatric tests to get into the Navy, at one point during his service “he was found with his finger over the Poseidon missiles on a submarine.”

“How this guy was ever allowed near vulnerable people is one of the shocking questions,” Redmayne said. “But it also meant that as an actor, I had all of that research there.” Redmayne worked closely with Graeber, who provided the actor and the rest of the team copious audio transcripts from his many interviews with Cullen. Redmayne studied them.

“Eddie is a delightful, very handsome, delightful, playful human,” screenwriter Wilson-Cairns told IndieWire during a recent interview, so when he slipped into the role of Charlie Cullen, the writer was blown away by the ways he seemed to change right in front of her. “The first time in rehearsals that I saw him turn it on, I was totally bewildered, because Eddie Redmayne stopped existing and Charles Cullen was there in the room,” she said. “I’d spent 10 years listening to this guy, reading about this guy, writing this guy, being in this man’s head, and it was really startling.”

Loughren, who was on set for a few days of filming, was also struck by Redmayne’s ability to tap into Cullen. “[Loughren] actually took me aside after watching Eddie do a take and she said Charlie was here. She was like, ‘That was Charlie, I can’t get over it,'” Wilson-Cairns said. “She was staggered by it. What he did was profound. Eddie Redmayne acts with every molecule of his being, and probably most of the molecules around him as well. It’s insane. And what he gives in this film is more than I could ever have dreamed of when I was writing it.”

Redmayne is no stranger to playing real people or telling true-life tales — he still remembers the day Stephen Hawking showed up on the set of “The Theory of Everything,” a moment in which “all my bodily functions sort of failed, because you instantly feel a fraud” — but he’s learned how to navigate that. “It’s not documentary, it’s not the truth,” he said. “It’s as close to the truth as you can get it with the acknowledgement that this is an interpretation and so you have to, when you’re playing real people, kind of be kind-ish to yourself.”

For the actor, that includes a lot of preparation, by way of a process he knows doesn’t appeal to everyone or work for every other performer.

“I’m not an actor that stays in character,” he said. “One of the things I love about my job is working with people with completely different processes. My particular process is I have to do all the homework. I need a long runway, I need a long time for prep. … You want those things to be embedded in who the character is by the time I arrive on set.”

Redmayne was eager to pair with Chastain, a long-time friend whom he first met while he was on the festival and awards circuits for “Les Misérables” in 2012 (Chastain was stumping for her “Zero Dark Thirty,” which ultimately earned the actress her second Oscar nomination). “We had these years of what I describe as the most sort of Hollywood way that a friendship can work, which is that there this person who you meet on the couch of ‘The James Corden Show’ or on the red carpet of the Oscars or something, and it’s totally real and you really like this human being, but you meet dressed in glad rags and clad in jewelry,” he said with a laugh.

He admitted that, despite years of wanting to work together, he knows it can be “complicated to work with your pals.” But Chastain didn’t disappoint, on screen or off. “We were moving to New York with my family, and Jessica and her husband and actually [her close friend] Jeremy Strong helped find us places to live, someone to help do babysitting, all of that,” the actor said. “This was an intense story, but we wanted to make sure that it also our lives that we’re living [when not shooting the film]. Our families hung out, and it was a very special time actually, despite the intensity of what’s on screen.”

Redmayne’s wife and children were with him for most of the film’s shoot, only heading back to London when Redmayne had about three weeks left of shooting. Those were, incidentally, some of the most challenging weeks, including shooting a final act scene in which Charlie is caught, arrested, and interrogated. He also snaps, finally breaks, goes absolutely wild in a key scene alongside Chastain. 

They shot the sequence multiple times, which sees Redmayne ratcheting up both his emotional and physical intensity.

“He’s in such a broken place at that point and it’s something, a technique that I first actually was shown to by” — Redmayne pauses to offer a chuckle as he rolls out the big guns —“clanging name-drop, Robert De Niro, when I did a film called ‘The Good Shepherd’ years ago. When I worked with De Niro, he would keep the camera rolling on emotional scenes and you would do the scene, and the second the scene finished, rather than call cut, he would encourage you to bottle the emotion and start back in again with the scene.”

Redmayne said he’s used that technique in the years since, like during the “Empty Chairs and Empty Tables” scene in “Les Misérables.” It proved useful again for “The Good Nurse.” “That can only work in scenes where the character is in a high-stakes emotional place at the beginning of the scene,” he said. “And that’s what I did here. Sometimes, I think also that’s what you do on stage. You do it night after night and what your entire body creates as a consequence of reaching for extremes, that ends up being helpful when you go back into takes.”

Redmayne is happy not to be a Method actor, but he’s still enthralled by finding the lines between performer and character.

“I can remember once working with Julianne Moore, it was early on in my career and we’d be having a chat with the cameras about to roll and she’d be talking about ‘The Jonathan Ross Show’ and this time when she went on or something and then without me realizing, she had gone straight into character and I was still being Eddie,” Redmayne said. “I don’t want to speak for Julie, but I felt like part of her process was distracting herself. Everyone has different ways of doing it. I sort of have to be slightly in the zone, but I definitely have to break out of it.”

He paused to chuckle again. “Also, I have young children and my wife would not want to live with me coming home as a serial killer. That would be disastrous!”

*Netflix releases “The Good Nurse” in select theaters on Wednesday, October 19 and to its streaming platform on Wednesday, October 26.

[harrywritingsbyme]

A Special Valentine

Anonymous Said: would it be possible for the "series of firsts" it's harry's first time with a girl...

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

A/N: So I’ve been sitting on this concept for what seems life forever. I’ve gotten ideas and I’ve lost ideas and it’s been a good while of writing little drafts and stuff for this fic. But, I am so so so thankful to have @adore-you-hs2 and @honeyfulharries for helping me brainstorm some ideas for this fic!! Since I wrote a virgin!Y/n fic last year around valentines day, I figured I’d do a fic for Harry, only this time incorporating more of the valentines theme. So it’s hella soft and fluffy with a lil angst, and when you get to the smut it’s hella filthy😂I hope y’all like it and I hope all of you had a lovely day…yesterday or the day before bc this valentine is hella late and timezones are a bitch. This is a brand new installment in a series of firstsss!! Anywaysss…enjoy🙃❤️

7.3k wordsss

Harry was beyond embarrassed. He was almost at the point of being ashamed. While all of his friends divulged about their sex lives and talked about how their significant other was in bed, he just sat next to you idly without anything to add to the conversation. He couldn’t talk about his favorite positions to have you in or little tricks he has for the bedroom. He was a virgin and didn’t have any type of experience whatsoever in regards to sex. The most he’d ever done with someone was touching over the clothes and making out. When he was all by himself, Harry did what he had to do; which he actually felt like he did a pretty good job with. It’s not that he didn’t know what he was into or liked in regards to his pleasure. Harry knew what his favorite content was and he even had a couple toys he liked to use on himself. It’s just that when he got to the more intimate phase of the relationship, he always got flustered and nervous. Even when it came to oral or mutual masturbation. He didn’t exactly know why he wasn’t able to express himself or be the same person he was when he was behind closed doors and alone. What made matters even worse for him though was the fact that he always felt rushed. Like whenever he said that he wasn’t quite ready or that he was a virgin, the dynamic of the relationship shifted. Ultimately leaving him alone to feel embarrassed, a bit hopeless, and sad over the fact that he was still a virgin. He also felt unwanted given the fact that a couple of his prior relationships fizzled out pretty quickly after he revealed that he hadn’t had his first time and that he wasn’t ready to do so at that moment. 

Eventually though, Harry reached the point of not even bothering or trying to meet new people and be in a relationship. He felt like he’d never be accepted nor meet the right person for him, let alone be ready to go all the way. So he put all of that on the back burner and just went along with life, becoming content with being completely by himself. And then he met you. It was like the perfect cliche. You were the person who never judged him for being a virgin or tried to rush him into doing anything he wasn’t up to or ready for. You just loved him for him and you wanted to be with him and be in love. It was like he was being understood and heard for the first time in a very long time and it felt great. With you, Harry was never made to feel like he was less than because of his choice and feelings when it came to his virginity. In fact, when you listened to what he’d been through in the past, it broke your heart. You could tell that he was really heartbroken and deeply saddened about it all and you never wanted to make him feel that way or even worse. So you made it your mission to never put pressure on him when it came to this and you made it your mission to listen and be there for him. You weren’t going to back out of your relationship over this; you loved him too much to even consider doing that. 

Even though he was fine with and had accepted the idea of being by himself, Harry didn’t want that for the rest of his life. He wanted to be with someone, he wanted to love someone unconditionally and be unconditionally loved back. And he got just that in you. He’d have to spend an entire lifetime compiling all of the words that could describe how perfect you are and how much he loves your relationship. Sure the two of you annoyed the hell out of each other at times and had disagreements. But neither of you wanted to annoy or disagree with anyone else. Over the past almost year of being together, you and Harry grew closer and closer. You two grew to love each other more than ever and this love was growing more and more each day. You and Harry could agree that there was a long and bright future ahead for you two and that was very exciting for you both. And in the process of growing and building your relationship, the two of you never had sex. You always followed Harry’s lead and you just went with the flow. Now things got a bit hot and heavy at times, but you and Harry were more than capable of taking care of yourselves so you two just stopped and didn’t go any further. From the toys you both had to your special “entertainment” and your vivid imaginations, you two were were just fine until the right time came along. And you specifically, refused to put any type of pressure on Harry. When it came to your first time together and Harry’s first time ever, you had the mindset that if Harry was comfortable, you were comfortable. 

And that was another reason why Harry felt so embarrassed. He was sitting next to you, his incredibly supportive and understanding girlfriend, in the middle of a conversation with you guys’ friends about your sex lives when he’s never had sex with you, or anyone for that matter. Listening to them, he felt like he was sort of holding you back and not fulfilling you the way you deserved. Even though you reminded him that the right time was when he was ready and that you were perfectly fine with that, Harry still felt a way. He still felt embarrassed. And on top of all that, you were being so sweet and understanding in the midst of it all. You were really trying to make him a little less uncomfortable and not so out of place. You could sense and see a little bit of that in the way he sank into the couch and cuddled into you a little more, so you wanted to be there for him and help him relax a bit. You were making a little conversation with him while the others talked amongst themselves, you played with his rings, and you gave him little kisses here and there. But you could only do but so much in that moment. Despite your efforts, Harry still felt the same way. Without any warning, Harry moves away from you a bit and stands from the couch, quickly announcing to the group that he needed a little fresh air. At first you just let him go, figuring that you should let him have his space. But after a couple minuets of sitting there without him, not really wanting to engage in the conversation at hand, you decide to get up and go out to him, giving the excuse that you wanted to check on him and see if he was okay. To be honest, it felt very weird to sit there without him.

You quickly walk away from the group in the direction Harry left in, needing to find him soon as you possibly could. Once you made it out the front door you turn to find him sitting in one of the chairs a couple steps away looking completely deflated. You couldn’t let him be all alone when he was feeling like this. So you quietly walk over, sitting down in the chair next to him, with your body and attention completely in his direction.

“I couldn’t sit there anymore.” He huffs, breaking the silence and bringing his hands up to his face.

“I understand babe.” You sigh, reaching over to rub his arm.

“It’s just- It’s so embarrassing that I’m in my late 20’s an I haven’t done anything with you, or anyone else for that matter.” He explains. 

“That is nothing to be embarrassed about Harry.” You softly exclaim, picking yourself up from your seat to sit in his lap. “Your virginity is yours, and only yours. That’s your decision to make, not mine, nor anyone else’s.” You affirm. 

“But It’s not normal considering I’m 27! What are you even with me?! I don’t want you to be with me and not be fulfilled.” He stresses quietly, feeling incredibly defeated. The entire situation brought up feelings and thoughts that he’d tried very hard to get past. When he says this, you immediately cup the sides of his face, forcing him to focus on you. 

“Now I want you to listen to me. I am with you because I love you so fucking much and you’re the most amazing person in the entire world. Sex is great and all but I can wait as long as you need if it means being with you and loving you to pieces. Hell, I’ll wait until we’re married if that’s what you choose to do. The point is, I’m yours and I will wait as long as necessary. With or without sex, you fulfill me Harry.” You softly explain to him, looking him right in the eye as you say every word. You could see the tears welling up in his eyes as you spoke to him. 

“I love you so much Y/n.” Harry sighs, still feeling a bit down. “Can we go to your place and cuddle.” He mumbles through a pout. 

“Of course baby! I’ll run back inside and let everyone know you’re not feeling well and then we can head home. How does that sound?” You propose with a smile.

“That sounds amazing.” He sighs, a small smile spreading across his face. 

“Can I have a kiss first?” You ask, puckering your lips towards him. In response he gives you a cute little nod before you lean down to press your lips against his. When the two of you kiss you can feel Harry relax a bit, which is exactly what you wanted. You knew that this wouldn’t solve this entirely, but it was a step in the right direction and it made Harry feel a little better which was all that mattered. “Now you wait right here and I’ll be right back.” You softly instruct after pulling away from his lips, following up with another kiss to the forehead before moving yourself off of his lap and back inside. After letting everyone know that Harry wasn’t feeling well and that you two were going to head out, you and Harry go back to your place and spend time together, cuddling and watching you guys’ favorite show and some movies, eventually falling asleep all cuddled with each other.

~ ~ ~ 

After that day, Harry began to think about going all the way with you and finally having sex for the first time a lot more than usual. Over the past year almost, you’ve shown him that you really do love and care about him. You never pressured him into doing anything and you always reminded him that he should do all of this at his own pace. You also showed him that you were the one; you were the one he could and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. There were just so many things about you that he loved. So many things that Harry couldn’t imagine having his first time with anyone else. And he made sure to tell you that after deliberating on the matter for a couple of days. 

“I think I’m ready to lose it.” Harry whispers, completely out of the blue as the two of you wash the dishes from your little date night.

“You’re ready to y’know, have sex?” You question, wanting to make sure you heard him correctly. 

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for a little bit and I realized that I’m ready to do it. And I want to do it with you. I wouldn’t want to have my first time with anyone else to be completely honest with you.” He explains, a small smile spreading across his face as he continues drying the dishes you’ve washed and handed over to him.

“Well I’m very honored, that you’re entrusting me with this. And I hope that it’s as good as you’ve imagined.” You reply to him, beginning to feel a bit of nervousness and excitement at the idea of being Harry’s first time. You’d never thought about it much since Harry wasn’t ready. But now that he was, you were feeling so many things and you were thinking about so many things as the time had finally come.

“Well I highly doubt that it will be anything less than amazing baby.” Harry hums, dropping the dishtowel and turning his attention to you. “I love you.” He sighs happily, prompting you to turn your head to face him.

“I love you too babe.” You coo, leaning in to press a quick peck to his lips.

~ ~ ~

Now you refused to let Harry’s first time be anything short of special. So you decided to plan something romantic for you two at your place, and you planned for this to be on Valentines Day. Not only would it be your first time celebrating as a couple, but it would also be your first intimate moment with Harry. And you wanted everything to be perfect, so you made a list of everything you’d need for the night at least a week or two in advance. You had everything from ingredients for dinner to a new set of lingerie. You also went over the list several times to make sure that you got everything you could possibly need for that night. You even went as far as to plan a little backup dinner in case something went wrong with the initial plan. You just wanted to make this night perfect for Harry. He’d gone through a lot in his relationships to get here and you wanted him to see that doing it all at his pace paid off and that he was special and loved. In the couple of days leading up to the big day, you began shopping and getting everything together. You got all of the food, wine, and decoration along with your lingerie and some other things for yourself that would make the entire experience that much better.

And when the day finally came, you were excited and all ready to go.

You had dinner cooking, the wine was in the fridge chilling, your bedroom was all set up with a fresh set of sheets, a couple candles set up and ready to be lit, a mix of red and white rose petals on the bed, and the perfect playlist (which you spent a good amount of time on) queued up. Not to mention the fact that you had your lingerie and everything perfectly set up in the bathroom so that you could be ready to change right into it after dinner. All you needed now was Harry. When he texted you to let you know that he was less than ten minuets away, you quickly throw on the dress you’d picked out for the evening along with your shoes and you do a final once over in the mirror before leaving your bedroom, making sure to close the door to keep that part of the evening a surprise. You pulled the wine from the fridge and you put the finishing touches on the table that was perfectly set for your dinner. In the final minuets before Harry’s arrival, you do a final walk through of everything you’d set up, it ending with a soft knock on your door signaling to you that Harry had arrived. When you hear him, your heart immediately begins to race from being nervous and excited for the night ahead. You immediately move yourself to the door, quickly giving yourself a little pep talk before opening the door for Harry. And when you did, you were almost certain you were going to pass out. Not only because you were buzzing around your apartment doing everything, but also because your boyfriend looked so good. What he had on was very simple but it was doing so much at the same time. You just wanted to pull him straight to the bedroom. But you didn’t. It took a lot of self control, but Harry was able to make it inside and settle down a bit before you two hit the bedroom

But it wasn’t that much of a gap in between Harry settling in and you two hitting the bedroom though. See, once you let him inside and gave him a kiss, it was like game over. He had a big basket that was beautifully filled with the things you loved and a couple presents he got you  in one hand, and a big bouquet of your favorite flowers in the other. When he got inside, Harry happily and proudly gave them both to you and let you check them both out while he snooped around in the kitchen a little to see what you had prepared and opened the bottle of wine you had out on the counter for you two. Once you started, you couldn’t stop gushing over and thanking Harry for what he got you. It was beyond thoughtful and you couldn’t wait for him to fully experience his gift of the night you’d planned out. Once you and Harry began talking and drinking a little, you two loosened up and were enjoying each other. The lights were dimmed a bit, there were candles just about everywhere, you and Harry were in love, and the two of you were all alone. It was absolutely perfect and romantic. On top of all that though, there was the pleasant elephant in the room, that being Harry giving you the green light that he was ready for his first time. If there were no other indicators in the days leading up to this moment, there was definitely one now that was strongly pointing to him losing it tonight. He wasn’t anxious and he wasn’t thinking about backing out and telling you that he’s changed his mind. He knew that you’d be all on board with that but Harry was absolutely ready to be with you intimately. He was so ready that he couldn’t take his mind off it on the ride over. And once he arrived, Harry was completely floored by how amazing you looked and how you put this entire evening together that he was even more ready to go to the bedroom. He was so ready and excited that he completely gave up on talking. The two of you transitioned yourselves into the kitchen to get started with dinner, but Harry was very much so enjoying the idea of saving that for later. So without any word from him on what he was in the mood for, Harry takes your wine glasses and sits them on the counter, freeing your hands up as he traps you in between his body and the kitchen counter before attaching his lips with yours. 

When he does this, you practically melt under his touch. You were already in a daze from how amazing he looked, and from how sweet and amazing he was to you. So when Harry began to kiss you with such passion and need, you instantly obliged. Again, you were following his lead. If he wanted to skip and come back to dinner, you weren’t going to oppose one bit. As the two of you continued to kiss, you could feel him hardening against you which prompted the area between your legs to initiate the process of becoming all warm and sticky and go into overdrive. His hands were on your body, he was tightly pressed against you, and his mouth was magically moving against yours. This was just what you needed to fully get into the skipping right to the bedroom mood. It wouldn’t have taken much on Harry’s end to get you there but this was fantastic, so you weren’t complaining at all. When you hear Harry let out a soft moan into your mouth and move himself against you a little, you decide to take control and move you two to the bedroom a little faster. 

“Do you wanna just come back to dinner?” You whisper after pulling your lips away from his a bit.

“Mhm.” He immediately hums in response, loosening himself from your body so that you could move a bit more.

“Then let’s go.” You whisper with a smile, moving yourself from underneath him and grabbing his hand, pulling him in the direction of your bedroom. When you reach the door, you tease him a little by slowly turning the door knob, making sure to keep eye contact the entire time to drive him insane. And that definitely did the trick of riling him up some more. That is, until he got all soft once the bedroom was revealed to him. You went out of your way to make this space romantic since this was the place where he’d have his first time. “I wanted to make everything perfect for you.” You softly explain as you pull him into the room. 

“Have I told you that I love you tonight?” He asks, through a small breath. 

“Probably about a million times.” You happily joke with him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Well for time one million and one, I love you so  so much. Like with my entire being. I love you so much that it hurts. And I couldn’t be more honored to be yours.” Harry says, bringing his lips to yours for a sweet kiss to seal the deal.

“I love you so much baby, so much.” You reply happily to him, so excited to move into the next step of your relationship. “Now get back into I want sex mode...that’s so hot on you and I have another surprise.” You continue, wanting to keep going and go all the way. 

“Considering how hard I am, I don’t think I’ll be out of “I want sex mode” for a while.” Harry truthfully replies with a chuckle that had the slightest tinge of bashfulness from how he was already rock hard and ready for you.

“Good! Now lay down and wait for me.” You say, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and pulling you both towards the bed before pushing him back down onto it. You then proceed to straddle him, bringing your face down to a mere inch or so away from his. “And if you wanna take your clothes off too, I’m definitely unopposed. ” You suggest with a smirk, planting a little peck to his lips before climbing off of his lap and walking out of the bedroom and into the bathroom where your lingerie was waiting for you, leaving Harry on the bed completely dumbstruck and needy. 

As soon as you close the bathroom door, you immediately begin working on removing your dress, pulling the zipper down to loosen it up and shrugging it off your body leaving you completely naked. As you looked in the mirror, you began to debate on whether or not you wanted to surprise him with being all naked or teasing him and making him work for it a little with the lingerie you had out and ready. Even though you were ready to just run back out there completely naked and just get down to business, you decided to put on the lingerie and let Harry unwrap you. As you put it on, all you could think about was Harry taking it all off. Like you could imagine him pulling it all off your body. With your panties especially, you could picture him pulling them off strings of your arousal coming with them. After getting the lacy garments on your body, you start pulling and moving it all around a bit. Once you’re all done with the lingerie, you pull the little sheer robe that came along with it on and you take a couple deep breaths before making your way back out to Harry. When you walk back into the bedroom, Harry’s eyes immediately shoot in your direction and practically pop out of his head when he sees you. He’d seen you in a two piece bathing suit before but that was about it. He’d never seen you this bare and exposed before. As you moved around the room to light the candles, Harry’s eyes followed your every move  and you could feel it. You could feel his eyes burning holes into your skin as you lit the candles and really set the mood for your time together. After you lit the candles and pressed play for your music, you were all ready to go. 

When you turn your full attention to Harry, you weren’t that surprised to see him fighting to quietly palm at his cock on the bed. His eyes were tightly closed as he squeezed his cock through his underwear. He was so engrossed on keeping himself quiet and relieving some of the pressure that had been mounting from the time he left home that he didn’t even notice you crawling up the bed. What he does notice though is you straddling his thighs, when he feels you on top of him, his eyes immediately shoot open and he quickly retracts his hand from his lap.

“You just look so good, I couldn’t help myself.” He rushes out in explanation. He could see it all. Your breasts were sitting perfectly in the lacy bra you were wearing, and from where Harry was, they looked beyond amazing. When his eyes traveled a bit lower, he could see where the two sides of your panties met to form a barely there strip to cover your pussy. If that wasn’t enough, the fabric was clinging to you and pushing up into your folds since the panties were pretty much nonexistent and you were very wet. He’d pictured you on top of him before, just never like this.

“Well I’m glad you like it because it’s all yours.” You reply, moving yourself up his body to sit right in his lap, causing Harry to gasp from the sight and feeling of you being naked and right on his cock. Harry was in sensory overload and so overwhelmed that he couldn’t form a single word in response. “Are you okay baby?” You softly ask, bringing your hand down to his cheek.

“Mhm…you just look so good, I don’t know where to start.” He whispers, bringing his eyes to meet yours. 

“You could start by touching me.” You suggest, reaching down to grab Harry’s hand and bring it up to one of your thighs to which Harry replicates with his other hand. Instead of rushing him along, you wanted him to explore your body and relax into the intimacy. You wanted him to be comfortable and do the things he’d dreamt of and feel the things he always wanted to feel. “And just relax” You begin, leaning down to bring your mouth to his ear. “I have a strong feeling that you’re gonna be really good at this.” You admit to him before lifting yourself back up. When Harry hears this, he eases up. Hearing that you thought he’d be good was the confidence boost he needed to get the ball rolling.

He begins to move his hands up your thighs, curling his thumbs inward towards the inner, more sensitive area. His hands continue on up your body, pushing past your hips, and all the way up to your chest where he brings both of his hands around to wrap them around your covered breasts. When he does this, you let out a little sigh of relief, loving the way his big hands felt around you. Harry loved how soft and squishy they felt in his hands, and he wanted to feel more. So he pushes his hands underneath your arms and manages to swiftly undo your bra. He couldn’t do it with one hand yet but you were very impressed (and even more turned on) at how he as able to quickly do it on his first try. The fabric is now hanging loosely on your body, allowing Harry to pull it down and off your body to fully expose your breasts to him. Your nipples were fully pebbled and practically screaming for him to play with them. He brings his hands back around, going straight to your breasts and right to your nipples. His fingers tugged and twisted at them, leaving you unable to hold back anymore moans that were threatening to spill out of your mouth. You also couldn’t help but to grind down against his clothed cock, which in turn caused Harry to start moaning beneath you. The soft music was now completely overpowered by your combined moans. 

“Can I be on top?” He pants, dying to get you completely naked and explore your body.

“Anything you want!” You exclaim, through one of your moans. Letting Harry take control of everything, you let him flip you two over so that he’s hovering over your body. As soon as he’s on top of you, Harry’s mouth immediately latches onto your skin, starting at the side your your neck. He starts sponging and sucking wet kisses into your skin, leaving a trail of them down your chest, stopping at the tops of your breasts so that he could pay them some more attention. The takes them both into his mouth individually and suckles on them, lapping his wet tongue around your nipples and squeezing the supple flesh surrounding them. For some reason, Harry felt at home with his mouth around your nipples. It was so good that Harry was rutting his clothed cock against you. As he continues, you’re softly moaning from the pleasure. You had a hand wrapped in his hair and the other on his back as he mouthed at your breasts. And as if he could read your mind, Harry picks up where he left off with his trail of kisses and makes his way further down your body. 

You wanted him to just explore your body and touch and feel you the way you knew he’d imagined. But you really wanted him between your legs. Your cunt had swallowed up the panties by now and the panties were nothing more than a damp piece of string at this point. When he makes it to the hand of your panties, Harry’s heart begins to speed up, excited to take them off and see what was underneath. He pushes his fingers into the thin bands that were wrapped around your hips and he begins to pull them down. He carefully watches as your cunt is being revealed to him. He can see how you were sopping wet and how plushy and soft your pussy was. There were strings of your arousal connecting your cunt and panties as he pulled them from between your legs. Once they fully off of you, and you’re completely naked, Harry lifts himself up from between your legs to soak in your naked body. He couldn’t believe how beautiful your naked body looked for him. You looked so soft and pretty below him, completely spread and exposed to him.

“Y’so pretty baby.” He sighs, bringing his hands down to your thighs. “Can I eat you baby?” He sweetly asks, bringing his eyes down between your legs so look at the sticky mess that was between your thighs. 

“Please Harry!” You moan, desperately needing his mouth on you again. At your response, Harry lays back down on the bed between your spread legs. He could smell your arousal and he was incredibly excited to taste you. He’d never don’t this before so he was a bit nervous that he wouldn’t do that good of a job. “Just lick into me baby, nothing to be nervous about.” You remind above him, bringing your hand to his head to give his hair a little tug. And with that, Harry dives right in. He just buries his face into your cunt, lapping his tongue up and down your folds. He pushed his tongue anywhere he could. He pushed between your folds, nestling his tongue right inside and against your entrance. He could feel the small opening and his cock immediately twitched in his pants. His cock was supposed to fit in there? While he didn’t want to hurt you, Harry was so interested and curious to see how you’d take all of him. He knew it wasn’t impossible but it was definitely something he was excited to see in person. He was so excited that he couldn’t stop himself from digging his hips into the mattress below. You tasted so good, you were incredibly warm, and he was beyond excited to feel your cunt around his cock.

You on the other hand were falling apart at the seams. You were on cloud nine, completely obsessed with the way he was licking into you. His strokes weren’t those of someone who was skilled and had done this before. But they were definitely amazing and you couldn’t get enough. He was licking and sucking on you perfectly, he even managed to find your clit. And it was his first time ever. He even tried pushing the tip of his tongue into your entrance, prodding at your tight hole. And on top of all that, he was moaning against you, seemingly enjoying how you tasted. When he wasn’t licking at your cunt, Harry was licking your thighs, almost trying to clean you up. He licked your thighs, the area right outside of your pussy, and he even licked the area below your cunt. He was hypnotized by your cunt. He just wanted to stay between your legs forever and have his mouth on you while he humped the bed below him. Of course he wanted to push his cock into you, but after he ate your cunt.

“Need you inside me Harry!” You scream, bucking your hips up into his mouth a bit. You were feeling incredibly sensitive and you could feel your own release coming. And before you came, you needed to feel Harry’s cock inside of you. When he hears you beg for him to be inside of you, he immediately stops and pulls himself up from the bed. When he’s kneeling between your legs, your eyes travel up from his no doubt painfully large bulge to his face. From his mouth down to his chin, even his nose, Harry’s face was glistening with your juices.

“Whats so funny?” He asks confusedly.

“Your face is all wet.” You reply, a wide smile spread across your face in the process.

“I just love eating your pussy.” He says truthfully, leaning down for a kiss. When your lips connect, you wrap your arms around Harry’s neck to keep him down against you. His lips sloppily move against yours, moaning into your mouth as he pushes his clothed cock against your bare and incredibly sensitive cunt. Keeping one of his elbows planted on the bed, Harry brings his other hand down to his boxers and does his best to push them down his legs. He struggles a bit before finally getting them down enough to expose his cock. When you feel him nudge you a little bit, you immediately turn your mouth away from Harry’s, turning your attention downwards between his legs.

“Need some help baby?” You offer, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and extending them down to his hips. 

“Just need t’take them off.” He replies, quickly lifting himself up from on top of you to fully remove his boxers. Harry then goes back to kneeling between your legs, now with his painfully hard and dripping cock on display. You knew that he was big from the glances you’d taken at his pants a couple times, but you didn’t know that he was this big. He was hands down the biggest you’d ever taken, and no one before him ever came close. On top of his monstrous size, you could see the thick veins running up his shaft and you saw precum beading at his swollen slit. You wanted him inside you first, but your mouth was definitely watering. You couldn’t wait until you were able to take him into your mouth and stuff all of him inside. But for now, you were excited to take him inside of you for the first time and be his first time.

“Are you ready babe?” You ask. 

“Mhm. I um- I bought some condoms just in case. It’s up to you though. I trust that you’re all good.” He says, laughing a little in the end. 

“I bought some too. But I think we’re good. And I trust that you’re all good as well.” You reply with a shy smile.

“Okay then, let’s do this.” He cheerfully says. 

“Let’s do it!” You reply, mirroring his excitement. “Do you want me on top or are you good?”

“I think I’m good.” He says, as he leans down to closely hover over you. “But I know you’re going to feel like heaven so I may not be.” 

“That’s okay, I can take control.” You reply suggestively, pulling your lower lip between your teeth. 

“Good, I like the sound of that.” He whispers in agreement, connecting his mouth with yours for one final kiss as he slowly and carefully pushes his cock against your folds. “Fuck, m’gonna push in now baby.” He pants, already losing his shit over how warm and wet your folds feel against his cock.

“Please.” You moan, needing to be full of his cock. 

And with that, Harry begins to push his cock into you, using one of his hands to guide himself inside. When Harry pushes past your entrance, you two lose it. You were so tight that when his engorged head pushes into you, there a piercing sensation that comes along with it. You hadn’t had sex in a very long time and Harry’s size was completely unmatched. For Harry, he was on the verge of collapsing on top of you. You were so so tight and warm and wet, he’d never felt anything like it. No matter how much lube he used or how fast he tugged at his shaft, he never and would never be able to match the decadence of your walls around him. And he’d only pushed the head of him inside. He actually had to stop for a second to get his bearings because his head was spinning. Once he’s caught his breath and the room stopped spinning as fast, Harry continues pushing himself inside. With every inch that becomes sheathed with your walls, your combined moans get louder. Your mouths mouth never closed, and your eyes fluttered shut as you two enjoyed the pleasure. You were in love with the perfectly balanced mix of pain and pleather came from Harry pushing into and stretching your your walls a bit to accommodate his size. Harry was taken to a different universe from the way your walls engulfed his cock. You could even feel him twitch a bit from how good he felt. 

By the time he finished pushing into you, Harry’s cock was lodged all the way inside you. So deep you could just about feel him in the pit of your stomach. It was hands down incredible for the two of you. After holding himself inside of you for a little while, Harry begins to move himself back and forth inside of you. Since it was his first time doing this and feeling this for that matter, his thrusts were a bit sloppy and staggered. He tried to form a faster rhythm, or a rhythm at all but he was so overwhelmed. 

“Thought I could hold it longer, but I don’t think I can. Can’t even hold myself up.” He slurs, trying to continue with his thrusts. 

“Gonna get on top baby.” You moan, feeling your own release getting even closer. Without a single hesitation, you push the two of you over to that you’re on top of him, straddling his waist and keeping his cock deep inside of you. Once your adjusted on top of him, feeling like his cock was deeper than before if that was even possible, you begin to move yourself up and down on him. You weren’t going super fast, you were going fast enough to make you and Harry really feel it and get closer and closer to your releases. Harry was loudly moaning and whimpering below you, tightly intertwining his fingers with yours as he surrenders to you, and your pussy. He thrashed his head back and forth against the pillows from how good he was feeling. 

“Y’so big!” You cry out to him, beginning to quickly grind down onto his cock, pushing forward a bit to dig your clit into his lower stomach. “And so deep! Can feel you all the way in here!” You cry out to him, bringing your intertwined hands up to your lower stomach for him to feel.

“Fuck Y/n! Can’t hold it anymore! Need t’cum” He groans, feeling his release beginning to consume his body.

“Me too baby! We can cum together!” You whimper, leaning down to lay on his chest. And as you begin to leave soft kisses on Harry’s lips and face, your walls begin to contract around his cock, signaling to him that you were cumming. When he felt this, Harry came right along with you. He coats all of your walls in his warm, thick, and sticky cum, spraying rope after rope into you until he couldn’t cum anymore. Your legs were full on shaking as you squirted all over his cock. The both of you were moaning messes and completely dumbstruck at how powerful your releases were. Nothing could ever compare to this and neither of you wanted to test out that theory. After letting go of everything you two had to give, you and Harry lied limply in bed, letting your bodies rest.

“I love you baby.” Harry whispers sluggishly below you.

“I love you too baby.” You softly reply back to him, nuzzling your face into his warm neck.

For the next half hour, the two of you lay there together, resting your bodies and minds from the extraordinary experience the two of you had. You two were lying there peacefully, enjoying the feeling of each others bodies and the music that was still playing through your speaker. Out of the two of you, Harry was the first to break the silence. Except, it wasn’t from him talking. It was from his stomach, letting the both of you know that he needed to be fed asap. 

“When we can feel our legs again, we can eat I guess.” You breathe out through a laugh, still recovering from the most amazing sex you’d ever had and probably some of the best sex of all human history in your opinion. Even though it was his first time, Harry still managed to make a mess of you. 

“Mhm, and then we can go again.” He hums dreamily, not even caring about his grumbling stomach, completely in the clouds from how amazing his first time was. He came in with his “expectations” and was completely blown out of the water. He just wanted to go again and again and again until he was fully numb and wiped out. “Maybe you can be on your front this time.” He suggests, thinking of all the ways he wanted to feel you around him.

“I think I may have created a sex monster.” And to be honest, you really didn’t mind that at all.

“Only for you my love.” He hums, wrapping his arms around your body. 

And for the rest of the night, you and Harry never stopped, loving being tangled up in each other. It wasn’t always in bed, but neither of you cared. All you two cared about was being together, feeling good, and being in love. This was truly a special valentine. It was one that neither you nor Harry would ever forget.

Masterlist

[quixotin]

hi i come bearing humanitarian relief from optygami

so like, yikes huh?

I didn't expect all the angst and that last scene absolutely DESTROYED me in the worst possible way. Anywhoo, I was so unwell that I dreamt a follow-up. This is a new level of brainrot. So, without further ado welcoome to another edition of

bullet point fics that i'll probably never write but I need to get out of my system: post-Optygami edition

After Optygami, Chat pretends he's ok but he's actually quite sad that Ladybug didn't need him to defeat the Akuma. Even more so, that instead of going for him, she went for Rena and Carapace.

lol Milk Bar scene 2.0.

He tries to hide it, but unlike other things that make him sad like oh idk, his entire family life, this is new. And he can't hide it because Ladybug was the one person that never failed to make him feel needed and wanted.

So, he's at school and he's looking sad and Marinette notices. She kicks into Supporting Friend Mode the way she's done with Zoé, Juleka etc. and asks him what's wrong. Adrien at first doesn't want to say, but Marinette gives her one of her Motivational Speeches™️ and convinces him.

Adrien says that it's hard to explain, but he feels like someone really loves is pushing him to the side and he feels like he is not needed anywhere.

Marinette will very much Not Have That

So she starts telling him all the good things she sees in him and how everyone, especially her, is lucky to have him around. And girl ain't even blushing or stuttering.

"Adrien you're always so kind and compassionate to everyone, you always make time for us even though your Father is so strict with you. You're always willing to give everyone the benefit of doubt, even when they don't deserve it. You're a great friend"

Adrien high key is tearing up btw

And my boy is so starved for affection that he's just. He falls for her immediately??? He never realized Marinette saw him like that??

He feels so acknowledged???????

also Nino sees and he reassures him as well.

"Whoever this friend is can go take a hike if they don't value you, dude. smh I'll throw hands for you."

appreciate the i r o n y

THEN...

Alya figures out Adrien is Chat Noir and she has that oh no moment. Without telling Mari why, she is ADAMANT that she tells Chat immediately about everything that has been going on with the guardianship.

"Trust me Marinette. Just trust me. You NEED to tell Chat about these things."

Marinette confesses she had not told him because she knows he's going to be very angry at her that she relied on someone else in her hour of need and she's scared she might lose him because lesser things have made him doubt himself to the point of returning the ring.

"Alya you don't understand," she says crying. "I know him. I know this is is going to hurt him so much."

Alya, out of curiosity, asks why she came to her and not Chat when things got too heavy and Marinette explains the incident in Chat Blanc and how absolutely scared to the bone she is that it might happen again. Not because she wouldn't be able to fix it, but because she couldn't bear seeing Chat being hurt like that again.

Eventually Marinette gathers the courage to tell Chat Noir and of course he's sad, heartbroken, angry and no matter how much Ladybug tries to apologize or reassure him that she trusts him, he simply can't.

Chat says he understands that she needed to lean on someone and it's her right to choose who that is.

"Don't worry m'lady, I understand. But... I need some time off. After all, something tells me you'll make do even if i'm not there."

BIG OUCH 😃

Marinette is devastated and recognizes her mistake and understands she is in no position to ask Chat to be there but that doesn't help the fact she's absolutely heartbroken.

As a civilian, Adrien notices Marinette is sad and talks to her. Mari cries bc she says she made a terrible mistake and she managed to really hurt one of the friends she loves the most and is scared she lost them for good.

Adrien consoles her and tells her she did the right thing by coming clean to them, and that she should have faith in her friend bc "friends fight sometimes Mari, it's normal, right? They will come around. You were honest with them, and that's what matters. They'll appreciate it eventually."

"Besides, e-even if they don't... I-i'll always be here for you"

"And if they don't, I'll personally go and punch your friend in the face"

aaaahhhh adrinette fluff.

And so, while ladynoir is crumbling to pieces, adrinette is like, VERY close to becoming canon but bc of what happened in ladynoir they refrain from showing their romantic feelings but are like, "No way I'm making the same mistakes again" so they become each other's closest confident (sans the whole Miraculous thing of course)

Adrien starts telling Mari about "this friend" and the problems in his family. Marinette start tellings him about "these responsibilities" and "this friend I have" and they unintentionally coach the other through how to proceed to heal the ladynoir partnership.

Simultaneously, Adrien's help lets Marinette understand how very much she loves Chat and him taking the break from Ladybug's company and replacing it with Marinette, lets him know how head over heels he had been for her all this time = tada! reverse love square.

They become super, super close friends. Like deadass ppl think they're dating (but what else is new smh)

"Ha ha, no. We're Just Very Good Friends™️" *they say as they're literally holding hands or snuggling on a bench*

Eventually Chat Noir comes out of his little break and Ladybug and him meet up to talk and it's like, an ugly crying sobfest ahaha :)

LB apologizes again and begs him to forgive her, she promises she'll do better and she'll show him how much she need him and--

"M'lady, stop. I already forgave you. It's all water under the bridge so--

"No! No it's not, because I can't believe I made you think you're dispensible. Chat Noir you're my partner and you'll always be my partner and I treated you like you weren't but I just... I couldn't tell you, Chaton. I couldn't--"

"But why? What couldn't you tell me, m'lady?"

LB breaks down and explains the Chat Blanc incident to him

"I was so scared. I was so afraid for you and so terrified that I wouldn't be able to bring you back. I'd never be able to forgive myself if one day I cannot bring you back, Chat. I want to know who you are but if knowing puts you at risk, then I won't do it. I love you more than I want to know your identity."

ajgkfahgfak gajfkk UGLY SOBBING.

"Then... that means we cannot be together... ever?" Chat asks and his voice is cracking because he's doing all humanly possible not to cry too.

"Not until Hawkmoth is defeated. I promise minou, as soon as we defeat him, we can be together. In the meantime, we have to keep the secret."

Chat Noir gently wipes off the tears from Ladybug and steps closer to her and goes "Then, m'lady, if you'll allow it, I'd like us to keep one more secret."

He leans down slowly, to give LB a chance to say no if she doesn't want it to happen, but she doesn't stop him. They kiss.

"This one stays between us," Chat mutters and then smirks at her. "See you in the next Akuma, m'lady."

The end.

[euovennia]

Decisions - C. C. Imagine

summary: in which carlisle faces the wrath of his former lover after abandoning her

pairing: fem!reader x carlisle

word count: 5,314 (can you tell i got carried away?)

request: could you maybe do one for carlisle where the reader and him have a massive argument like proper slamming doors shouting and he asks edward to help him (with the mind reading and that) with making up with the reader? i hope that makes sense hahah😂i’m in LOVE with your writing 🤩

---

“Thank you for dinner tonight, Eugene. It feels like it’s been a while since I’ve been out like this so I appreciate it.” The woman spoke softly, the edges of her eyes crinkling slightly due to the smile that adorned her face. “It only feels like it’s been a while because it has been a while, Y/N.” The man teased as he looked down at the woman beside him. Her cheeks tinted a light pink color and it was at this moment she was thankful for the darkness of the night that enveloped the car the two were sat in. “Right. Look, I really am sorry about all of that. I was just,” She let out a sigh as she looked down at her hands, “I don’t really know actually.” She finished quietly. The man’s lips pressed into a thin line as his grip on the steering wheel tightened ever so slightly. Letting out a small sigh he responded, “You were just heartbroken. It’s normal, especially after something like that.” He muttered, his tone noticeably more annoyed causing her to frown. “Yeah. I guess that’s what happens when you’re thrown to the side like trash.” She muttered, a small smile tugging at her lips despite the pessimistic thoughts that began to infiltrate her mind.

Pulling into her driveway and parking the car, the man rested a hand on her thigh as he looked over at her once more, “You’re not trash, Y/N. You didn’t deserve what he did to you. He made his choice to leave….Now you just have to make your choice to get back out there and take your life back.” She let out a small sigh as she rested one of her hands on top of the one that was on her thigh, “I know, but it’s still hard. I mean, some days I feel like I’m completely fine and that I can take on the world but other days…Other days I can’t help but feel like he dodged a bullet leaving the way he did. Who knows, maybe he saw something wrong with me that I can’t see and decided it was too much for him.” Hearing her dejected tone the man only frowned, “I won’t lie and say I know how you feel because I honestly don’t. What I do know is that you can’t let his choices dictate your life. He made his decision and it’s about time you made yours. I just want what’s best for you, everyone does.” The woman began to chew on her lip as she allowed the weight of the words from her friend to sink into her mind. “I guess that’s fair. Maybe I have been sulking around a bit longer than I should be.” “It’s been five months, Y/N. I think you’ve done more than enough sulking for the year.” She nodded silently before pulling her hand away from his and tugging her purse up to rest on her lap. “I’m pretty tired so I think I’m gonna head to bed now. Thank you again for dragging me out of the house tonight, Gene. I really did enjoy everything. Maybe we can do it again sometime soon,” She suggested, a small burst of confidence bubbling in her chest. Eugene’s face lit up with a smile as he nodded eagerly, “Definitely. Just let me know when you want to go. I’ll be waiting.” She smiled as she leaned over the console to give him a brief hug before pulling away and promptly exiting the car. She closed the door and gave the man a small wave before making her way into her small house. She dropped her belongings at the door and kicked her shoes off before dragging herself to her bedroom and throwing herself onto the bed as she immediately tugged a warm blanket over her body. She laid still for a moment as she stared blankly at the ceiling before rolling over and digging around in her bedside drawer before her hand came into contact with a familiar piece of paper. She hastily pulled it out and sat up as she began to unfold the paper and skim her eyes over the words that were elegantly written onto the paper. My love, I am writing this letter to you with a fearful mind and heavy heart as I am not quite sure how you will react. It is without a doubt that you are the one who has stolen my heart and who I will love and cherish unconditionally for the rest of my existence which only makes writing this even more painful. Even with this burden, I must carry on. It’s come to my, and the family’s attention, that our presence in Forks will only bring nothing but pain and suffering to both you and Bella. It is because of this that we must leave. Believe me when I say there is no other way. This is for your and Bella’s safety. My only regret is that I will not be able to hold you in my arms and gaze into your loving eyes one last time before we leave, but I know if I did I would only stay and I cannot do that to you or my family. I hope to meet with you again, my love. Yours forever, Carlisle “Yours forever.” She spoke, a bitter edge mixed in with her tone. She let out a scoff as she flicked the paper over the side of her bed, not bothering to check where it landed. She fell back onto her mattress as she once again began to stare aimlessly at the ceiling above. If only forever actually meant something.

Three Months Later

“Thank you for taking time out of your day and meeting with me, it truly means a lot,” Y/N spoke, a bright smile on her face as she shook hands with the mother who was holding tightly onto her child beside her. “Absolutely! You already know I’m more than happy to meet up with you at any time. Thank you for reaching out. I’ll make sure everything gets taken care of as soon as possible.” Y/N nodded as she looked down to the child who clung tightly to his mother’s side, “I’ll see you on Monday, kiddo. Have a great evening!” The child gave her a timid smile as he spoke up, “You too Ms. L/N!” The woman’s smile only widened before bidding the pair a goodbye. Hearing her classroom door close, she took a seat in her chair as she leaned forward to get a closer look at the classwork of her fourth-period class. Letting out a small sigh, she grabbed her blue pen and began her daily routine of monotonous grading. After what felt like an eternity, she heard her classroom door swing open causing her to look up from the stack of classwork that seemed to significantly lower in height since starting. “I figured you’d still be here. I got us some Chinese!” Eugene spoke as he held up the bag of takeout like a trophy in his hands. “Thank goodness. I really didn’t want to get home and have to cook. It’s been a long day.” The woman groaned as she pushed the stack of paperwork to the side as Eugene placed the styrofoam container into her hands. She quickly opened up the box and began to eat to her heart's content as she watched Eugene struggle with his chopsticks. “I’m not quite sure why you get those if you haven’t figured you how to use them after nearly two years. I think you should just give up.” She remarked before taking a bite of veggie roll dipped in duck sauce she’d expertly acquired with her own pair of chopsticks. Eugene let out a scoff as he turned to face her, “Well sorry I can’t be perfect at everything I do. Not my fault no one taught me how to use these things.” He muttered with a frown on his face. She let out a hearty laugh, “I’ve offered to teach you numerous times, you just refuse to let me help you out.” “I refuse because I’m a strong, independent man. I don’t need to rely on no woman.” She smirked, “If I didn’t know you were gay, I’d think you have some vendetta against women.” “Vendetta? Against women? Please, a woman could spit on me and I’d apologize for bothering her.” He scoffed. Her eyes glinted with mischief as she stared at him with a brow quirked up, “Good to know. Very good to know.” He rolled his eyes before throwing a packet of soy sauce at her, “Oh be quiet. You know you could never do that to me. You love me too much.” “Sadly. Now, hurry up and finish eating. I wanna get home already.” He shook his head as he closed the takeout container, “I’m actually not all that hungry tonight so we can go now.” The woman only nodded in response as the pair began to clean up and gather their belongings before heading out of the classroom and over to his car. --- Pulling into her driveway, he put the car into park as Eugene turned to look at the woman beside him. “I know we just ate dinner together, but you wanna grab something to eat tomorrow?” She pondered for a moment before nodding with a small smile, “Yeah we can. You know I love being with you.” “Everyone does, they just don’t want to admit it.” She rolled her eyes playfully before reaching over the console and giving him a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Text me the details. I’ll see you later, Gene.” He quickly returned her affection as he nodded, “I will. Have a good evening, Y/N.” She gave him a smile before getting out of the car and closing the door behind her. She gave him a parting wave as she watched him pull out of her driveway and away from her house. With a content sigh, she walked up to her front door and twisted the knob, shock coming over her features as the door swung open with ease. I never leave the door unlocked. Feeling a sense of unease beginning to creep up on her, she tucked her keys between her knuckles as she slowly stepped into her house making sure to rake her eyes over every little detail in her home. With small and quiet movements, she set her bag on the ground as she silently shut the door behind her. She carefully crept into the house as she made sure to keep both her eyes and ears peeled for any suspicious sign of an intruder. Walking into her living room, she continued her slow and cautious movements before her eyes settled on her couch where a hauntingly familiar piece of fabric was strewn across the top. Gulping, she stalked closer to the couch and picked up the dark grey jacket. With shaking hands, she slowly began to unfold the jacket, her heart clenching as the familiar scent invaded her nostrils. Eyes widened and heart pounding, she whipped around to find him standing there in all his glory. “Carlisle.” She gasped out. She stared with a sense of horror and despair as she took in the sight of the man who stood only a few feet away from her. Her eyes raked over his tall, slightly muscularity and lean build that was dressed in a light blue collared button-up that was neatly tucked away beneath a sweater vest that was a shade darker than his button-up. It was paired with a pair of black jeans she had gotten him as a gift along with a pair of dress shoes that she had a feeling were new. She sucked in a sharp breath as she dared to bring her eyes up to his face that radiantly shone against the dim lighting in the living room, his golden eyes locked onto her figure that seemed frozen in place as the pair stared each other down. Neither one of them dared to break the silence as a tense feeling overcame the both of them, more specifically Y/N. Swallowing the last of her pride, she found the courage to speak first. “You’re here.” As if sensing her hesitance, Carlisle slowly nodded before gently speaking out, “Yes. There was a change in our living conditions.” Not quite knowing how to respond, the woman only nodded as she suddenly became all too aware of just how small the living room truly was. Taking in a small breath, Carlisle took a step toward her causing the woman to immediately take a step away from him. This reaction caused him to shrink back into himself as he felt a pang of hurt course through his body. I deserve that. Shaking off the rejection he opened his mouth, “Love-“ “Get out.” His eyes widened at her harsh tone as he took a moment to stare at her face. It didn’t take a genius to know that her expression was one of extreme anger and discomfort, but to know that the person who had once promised unconditional love and care for you aimed that deadly glare at you, it was disheartening, to say the least. “Y/N, I can explain-“ “Now you want to explain yourself? What, you think you can break into my house and expect everything to just be alright? Do you have any idea what you put me through just leaving like that? I spent months trying to convince myself that I still had a life worth living and you expect me to run back into your arms? I don’t think so, Carlisle.” She spits, a certain fire he had never seen burning into him as she glared at him. “I know I hurt you, but it was what the family needed. I’m sorry it came to it, but we had no other choice. I had no other choice.” She let out a scoff as she threw the jacket to the ground before walking up to him with fury in her eyes before stopping directly in front of him, “And you couldn’t tell me that in person? You had to leave a fucking note? Are you kidding me? You knew what I would think and you didn’t want to face that so you took the easy way out by tossing me to the side like trash-“ “You’re not trash-“ His sentence was once again cut short, not by her words this time, but by the sound of her hand smacking against his stone-cold cheek. Startled, Carlisle stumbled a bit as he looked to her with a look of shock and hurt visible on his face, “Did you just-“ “Yes. I slapped you Carlisle and if I’m being honest, I should do a hell of a lot more to you right now with the nerve you have showing your face around here after what you did.” He let out a sigh of annoyance as he took a step back from her, “I did it to protect you. You really think I would intentionally hurt you?” “If that was the case, you would’ve talked to me and not just left a lousy note!” She yelled. “I was protecting you, Y/N! I did what I thought was best at the time and I’m sorry if you can’t see that but I don’t regret what I did for even a second!” He yelled back as he felt himself feeding on her own anger and frustration. “If you don’t regret it then why the hell did you come crawling back here?! You should’ve just left another note on my bed and left me alone, God knows you’re great at doing that!” Carlisle let out a humorless laugh as he bit back, “What? So you can be alone with Eugene? God Y/N, if I knew how easily you could move on from me I would’ve just found some other woman to run off with!” “Don’t you dare try to blame this on me, Cullen. I wasn’t the one who decided to walk away from a perfectly good relationship-“ “Maybe it wasn’t a perfectly good relationship, Y/N! Maybe that’s why I left in the first place! Did you ever take a moment to think about how much of a pain you can be to deal with, especially as a human? How much it took to take care of you? You drive me absolutely insane and leaving you behind was probably one of the best decisions of my entire existence!” He roared out harshly. At his impassioned revelation, Y/N’s face quickly became void of all emotion as she straightened out her posture. He watched helplessly as she clenched and unclenched her jaw, a habit she did when she was trying not to lose control, especially during an argument. Feeling a pit grow in his stomach at the weight of his words, Carlisle’s face fell as he gulped. “Y/N, you know I didn’t mean-“ “I’m going to my room.” Carlisle looked up at her as his eyes slightly widened at her choice of words, “What?” “I said I’m going to my room and I won’t bother coming out until morning. If I come out and you’re still here, I won’t hesitate to call the cops and tell them about your breaking and entering stunt,” She spoke lifelessly. “Please don’t-“ “Goodnight Carlisle,” She spoke quietly before stalking off toward her bedroom. Carlisle watched her figure disappear behind the walls of her house, a sharp flinch interrupting his still frame as the walls shook from the force of her slamming her door. In all his time of knowing her, he knew she was a woman of her word and so with a heavy heart and a guilty conscience, he picked up his jacket before leaving her residence as he tried to get the sound of her heartbroken cries emitting from her room out of his head.

Next morning

Slowly stirring awake, Y/N reluctantly opened her eyes. Immediately being blinded by the light shining in from the window she regretted her decision as she screwed her eyes shut, rubbing away at her eyes with her hands as she tried to dull the stinging sensation. Once soothed, she opened her eyes once more. Furrowing her brows together, she sat up as she took a moment to sniff the air. Lips pressed into a thin line and annoyance already coursing through her veins, she shot up from her bed as she swung her door open and stormed over to the kitchen. “I told you I was going to call the cops if-Oh.“ Her sentence quickly faltered as she caught sight of Edward watching over the movements of Bella as she moved around the kitchen with a grace that Y/N could never quite master due to the fact that she was more than happy to live off of take-out than take the time out of her day to make a homemade meal for herself. “What are you doing here?” She got out, her voice suddenly feeling very small and hoarse. Edward turned to her, crinkling his nose slightly at the overwhelmingly large amount of thoughts that flooded through her head. Shoving away his own distaste for her mind at the moment, he spoke. “Carlisle said you’d call the cops if you saw him in here when you got up. You never said anything about seeing me or Bella,” At the mention of her name, Bella perked up as she turned to face the older woman with a shy smile and a small wave before turning back to the pancakes she was in the middle of making. Y/N let out a deep sigh as she rolled her eyes, “Damn him and his loopholes.” Edward gave a small smile toward the woman. While he had strong feelings about human involvement in the family’s rather odd lifestyle, it was obvious to anyone that he had grown a soft spot for the woman who had effortlessly stolen the heart of his adoptive father. While he looked to Carlisle as a father figure, it was Y/N who he saw as a mother figure. “Come on, Bella already fixed you a plate. Why don’t we sit down and talk for a bit?” By the time the words had left his mouth, he was already dragging her to the couch in the living room shoving the plate of food into her hands as he sat on the couch opposite to her. “Yes, make yourself at home.” She muttered sarcastically before stabbing her fork into a sausage and shoving it into her mouth. “Y/N-“ He started. “Why are you here, Edward?” She asked once she had finished chewing. "Alive had a vision of what happened. I just wanted to check in on you." She let out a bitter laugh as she looked up at him, "Well I'm doing just fine, Edward. Feel free to leave. Bella can stay though, these pancakes are heavenly," The woman remarked as she stabbed a fluffy pancake with her fork. "You're still in your clothes from last night and your eyes are red and puffy. Believe me when I say you look horrible." He observed. "Well your eye bags are becoming more prominent, but you don't see me rubbing that in your face now do you?" She remarked,  patience slowly beginning to wear thin. "Well, I can't exactly sleep it off. I'm literally dead." "Excuses, excuses." She waved off. Edward let out a small sigh of frustration as she continued to brush off his efforts. It was no surprise she was upset with Carlisle especially after some of the things he had said, but the disregard she had for her own feelings was annoyingly frustrating, especially when he could see right through her act just by digging into her thought. While it could very well be seen as an invasion of privacy, Edward felt it was critical at this moment. "You can't just ignore this conversation, Y/N. You've gotta talk about it at one point or another. I know you're hurting." "You don't know anything, Edward. You can't just waltz in here and think you know how I feel." "I can make a pretty good assumption based on your thoughts." She rolled her eyes as she pushed the plate of food away from her, "What is it with you guys and taking the easy way out? First, you leave Forks because of an accident. Then Carlisle leaves me with a note for his goodbye and if that wasn't enough, you have the nerve to sit here and read my thoughts instead of talking to me like a normal person would. It's getting pathetic honestly." She finished off with a huff. Edward's lips turned into a frown as he leaned back into the couch, "Then tell me how you feel." Y/N let out a deep sigh as she stared down at her hands, "I'm just hurt. When you guys came into my life, I wasn't expecting to get so attached, and when I did...God, it felt like the best thing in the world like I was flying. Carlisle knew it, you knew it, everyone knew it. And then you just leave? It's one thing to leave me here by myself, but the fact no one even said anything to me? I would've preferred being left alone in the woods like a sack of meat because at least then I'd know you cared enough to see me one last time, but I didn't get that and it hurt." Edward silently watched her for a moment before speaking, "Your thoughts are all jumbled together...What are you thinking about?" She let out a sigh as she began to play with her fingers, "When you guys left, I felt useless. I felt like dead weight and it showed. I could barely bring myself out of bed to go to work and the days I manage to bring myself to work, everyone just wanted me to go home because they were so worried. It was like the only thing I wanted to do was sleep and eat my days away, but I couldn't even do that because just the thought of eating made me want to puke. As for sleeping, I couldn't do that without waking up and driving over to your house like it was some bad dream. Hell, it took five months for me to even get out of the house and get some semblance of normality back into my life, then it took another three months for me to finally feel normal again. And just like that, you guys come back without a care in the goddamn world expecting a warm welcome after everything. Especially with the things he said? It was one thing to have him come back out of literally nowhere, but for him to say all of those things too? It hurts and I don't wanna go through that again, Edward. I can't go through that again." Edward nodded with a frown settled on his face as he reached out and grabbed her hand, "You can't avoid him forever though, especially if you're both in the same town." "Should've thought about that before he left." "You're right, I should have." The pair both look toward the main entrance where Carlisle stood in the same outfit he'd worn the night before albeit a tad wrinkled and disbelieved with his normally tame hair sticking out in different directions. Her face grew into a scowl as she crossed her arms, "What part of "I'll call the cops" don't you understand? I don't want you here." Carlisle turned to stare at Edward and gave him a small nod. Obviously picking up on something Y/N couldn't quite understand, he stood up and walked out with Bella awkwardly trailing behind him making Y/N wonder just how long she was standing there watching her pour her heart out to boyfriend. Shaking away the thoughts, she looked to Carlisle. "As much as I hate you right now, I'd rather not see you get dragged away in a pair of cuffs so please just go." Carlisle only shook his head as she slowly began walking toward her, "You know I can't do that, love." "No. You don't get to say that. You don't get to come in here and act like you still care." At this, Carlisle stopped his advances as he stared her down. "I'll always care about you. I know I have a weird way of showing it, but I was only doing what I thought was best. For my family, for you." "I know that Carlisle, I could care less about the fact that you left. It's how you left and how you came back. It was just so sudden, there was no warning and you just sprung it on me. Then yesterday with how upset you got with me when I didn't immediately fall into your arms that you thought you could say such horrible things...How did you expect me to react?" As she listed off all these wrongdoings, Carlisle felt an overwhelming sense of shame and embarrassment creep onto him as he looked down at the wooden floors beneath him. "Y/N, I know there's nothing I could ever do to make it better, but I truly am sorry for all the pain I've caused you with my absence. You're absolutely right when you say the way I left was awful. I did take the easy way out, but I knew if I did it in person I wouldn't be able to stop myself from leaving you. I knew the family was counting on me and I couldn't risk my own emotions overpowering what they needed me to do." "And yesterday? What the hell was that?" Carlisle sighed as his frown deepened, "Like you said, I came back expecting you to fully accept me once again. I thought you'd be blinded with joy that you wouldn't care about me just showing up and when you didn't I just...It was painful. Having you yell at me talking about how you didn't want me around was hurtful. I didn't know how to react so I gave into my anger and I said terrible things that I didn't mean. There is no excuse for my actions or the words I said last night, but please believe me when I say that I didn't mean a word of what I said. I was angry, frustrated, and admittedly a bit thirsty. I acted like a monster and I don't expect your forgiveness, but I hope you understand just how sorry and regretful I am." At his long admission, Y/N let out a sigh as she ran a hand through her hair. "God I hate you." Carlisle looked at her, pain swirling around in his eyes as he tried to ignore the pang of hurt that made its way through his chest. "You should. I don't-" "I hate that you left. I hate that you couldn't be a fucking man and tell me yourself. I hate that you came back out of nowhere and said all those horrid things to me. I hate that you had the nerve to take advantage of your child for your own benefit. I hate how you're still here even after I threatened to call the cops on you and I hate that I still need your touch," She managed to spill out in a long, desperate breath as the salty tears began to prick at her eyes once more. Carlisle sucked in a breath before using his enhanced speed to get to the woman who's strong resolve was slowly cracking for the man who had caused her so much heartbreak. He slowly and softly brought his hands to rest on either side of her head as he gently craned her neck to look up at him as she gripped onto his arms with tears now freely streaming down her face. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead as she continued to speak, "I hate how relieved I feel now that you're here," He then pressed his soft lips to the tip of her nose "I hate how I feel like I can finally breathe," Another kiss was pressed to her cheek "And I hate how much I just want you to kiss me already." At her words, Carlisle's gaze darkened slightly before he pulled her body close to his and pressed his lips to hers. Her arms threw themselves around his neck as she jumped up onto him, his strong arms immediately catching and supporting her weight as they desperately moved their lips together as if it were the last time. She tightened her hold on him as she ran her hands through his golden locks, the familiar feeling of love and adoration filling her heart as she did so, lips still moving feverishly in sync. After a few more moments, they pulled away with Y/N breathing deeply from the lack of oxygen while Carlisle stared at her with his loving eyes. Once her breathing returned back to normal, she stared into his eyes as she spoke, "But most of all, I hate how much I still love you." Carlisle let out a sigh of relief and happiness as she pulled her even closer to him, the tiniest of spaces between them being closed as they embraced each other. "I love you so much, Y/N. So so much," He spoke as he buried his face into her hair as he inhaled the scent of her sweet shampoo. "I love you too but if you ever leave me like that again I promise I won't hesitate to hit you harder than I did last night." "I wouldn't dream of it, my love. I'm yours till the end of time."