#i saw a thing that said give buck more queer friends

[oldfangirl81]

Fic idea Torchwood x 911

Spoilers up S7Ep6, Between S1 & S2 of Torchwood

"I'm bisexual."

"Hello to you too, Evan. I see you are still tragically very American."

"And you are still very English."

"I'm Welsh, you troglodyte. And I take it you just figured out you are bisexual or did you just feel the urge to go through your contact list to make sure they knew? That is a tedious way to come out I feel. At least I can reassure Jack that you are oblivious and not immune to him."

"Yes, I just figured it out you jerk." There was a pause. "Wait, that was Jack hitting on me? Sorry about that. I wouldn't deliberately flirt with someone a friend was crushing on."

"I'm not crushing on man that abandoned his post to chase after an ex. I don't want to talk about him. Let's get back to the reason you called."

"Are you sure? I'm sorry Jack left. Do you want me to see if McGarrett can find him?"

"Yes, I'm sure I don't want to talk about it. I'm sure McGarrett is very skilled this is above his security clearance too. Back to why you called please. I am assuming there was a man who was the catalyst to your bisexual awakening?"

"Fine, I'll let the Jack thing rest for now." Buck made a note to bug Ianto about it later. "So I went on a date with a dude and made a fool of myself but he was so understanding about it. He calls me Evan and I don't hate it. I like the sound of my name on his lips. He flies for LAFD. And did I mention how patient and forgiving he is? And a great kisser. He also is fantastic with Chris. And gets along with Eddie without getting jealous."

"You are making me want to act like a teenager and go 'ooooh, you like him, you want to hug him, you want to kiss him '. I hate this feeling but I am happy for you. And does this perfect man have a name?"

"No background check."

"I'll just have Toshiko get his details off your phone. She'll want to welcome you to the not a heterosexual club."

"That is not a thing she has."

A moment later an invite to a super secret server was sent Buck.

"Huh, okay fine I guess she does. And his name is Tommy Kinard, works as a pilot for LAFD these days."

"Thank you. See that was painless."

"You can be a real prick sometimes."

"It's a gift."

[honestlydarkprincess]

so let the words slip out of your mouth

buck & eddie || rated: g || wc: 1.7k || read on ao3

Buck wasn’t trying to hide from Eddie. Really, he wasn’t. It’s just….every time Buck tried to get the words out he clammed up. He was pretty sure that Eddie thought there was something wrong with him, he’d been giving Buck increasingly worried looks over the last couple weeks.

Eddie had overheard Hen telling him that she would add him to the queer LAFD group chat— not she had said what the group chat was for at the time— and he’d given Buck a weird look, as he knew how much Buck hated group chats. Buck was also sure that Eddie had noticed the look on Bobby’s face when he looked at Buck sometimes, like he was proud of him, happy for him. It never failed to warm Buck from head to toe but he knew it made Eddie curious. The worst was probably Chimney, who, after a few too many weird goodbyes, had stopped saying bye altogether and had taken to saying adios.

So Eddie definitely knew something was up with Buck, but Buck was pretty sure he didn’t know what.

Buck was sitting at his table, staring into space as he contemplated how to tell Eddie. Tommy had just left— they’d had a nice romantic date before Tommy had to leave due to an early shift the next morning and Buck was still giddy over their date. Things were good between him and Tommy. Solid. They’d only been dating for a few weeks but Buck was over the moon and he was really excited to see where things were going to go between them.

A soft knock sounded at his door, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Buck went to answer it, figuring it was Tommy. “You forget something?” He asked as he opened the door.

Only it wasn’t Tommy, it was Eddie. “Hey, Buck. Can we talk?”

“Y-yeah, of course,” Buck stumbled over his words, moving to the side so Eddie could come in. Buck swallowed roughly as he shut the door behind him. Looks like they’d be having this conversation whether he was ready or not. “What do you want to talk about?”

Eddie just gave him a look. “You know what.”

Buck sighed. “I wasn’t trying to hide it from you, Eds. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Eddie pressed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “If I’m being honest, Buck, I don’t really know what’s going on. I just know that everyone at work is acting weird, like they’re in on this secret and I’m not, and I’ve tried to figure it out, trust me. But I can’t. What could be so bad that you can’t tell me?”

“It’s not bad, I promise,” Buck said earnestly. “There’s nothing wrong, I’ve just…figured some things out.”

“Okay…” Eddie trailed off, looking at Buck when he didn’t elaborate. “What things?”

“It’s that— I’m—” Buck tried, swallowing against the lump in his throat. His heart was beating so fast, just like it had the first time he came out. You’d think all the practice he’d had would have made it easier but something about coming out to Eddie made everything feel so much more.

“Is it that you’re hanging out with Tommy? I saw him leave. You guys don’t have to hide it,” Eddie said, his brow furrowed. “It’s not like I’d be upset. A little bummed that I’m not invited but not upset,” Eddie chuckled, although his laughter trailed off when Buck just stood there.

“Tommy and I…” Buck started, clearing his throat. “We are hanging out but we’re not friends.”

“How does that work?” Eddie looked adorably confused.

“Eds, we’re dating.”

“Oh,” Eddie said, his eyebrows raising in surprise. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Buck said, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. “So I’m…the news is that I’m bisexual. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

Eddie was quiet for a moment, digesting the new information while Buck fidgeted in front of him. “So…when we ran into you at the pizza place…you guys were on a date, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, it was our first,” Buck mumbled, unable to keep a small smile from gracing his lips. The date had been a little tense and a whole lot awkward when Eddie and Marisol interrupted but then Tommy had walked him back to his door and kissed him and Buck had melted, throwing himself into the kiss. They’d found their footing and it hadn’t been awkward since.

“Shit, Buck, I’m so sorry, we totally interrupted,” Eddie looked dismayed.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Buck reassured.

“I’m still sorry,” Eddie said quietly. “And I’m sorry for storming over here and basically forcing you to tell me. You clearly didn’t want to and I made you and I’m just, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, no,” Buck said, his brow furrowing as he took a step closer to Eddie. “You didn’t make me do anything, I was always going to tell you, I was just having a hard time finding the words.”

Eddie let out a sigh of relief and closed the distance between them, pulling Buck into a bear hug. Buck hugged back just as tightly, letting out a shuddering breath when Eddie whispered, “I’m proud of you, Buck. Thanks for telling me.”

“You’re welcome,” Buck mumbled back. A quick fleeting thought dashed across his mind that Eddie’s arms felt so good around him, something he’d always known but now it was at the forefront of his mind. It felt different now and Buck felt a tendril of confusion. Why did hugging his best friend feel different now? Why did it feel better? Like something was slotting together? Buck shook his head as he pulled away from the hug, trying to physically shake away the thoughts. He wasn’t ready to think about that. “I’m surprised you’re here so late, where’s Chris?”

“Ah,” Eddie looked sheepish. “We had a bit of a fight and he wanted space so Tia Pepa said she’d take him for the night.”

“Oh? About what?” Buck was confused, the amount of times Eddie and Christopher had fought was a very small number.

Eddie sighed. “It’s dumb, you probably don’t want to hear it,” He tried to brush it off. “Let’s talk about more important things: so, you and Tommy?”

Buck ducked his head, blushing. “Yeah, me and Tommy.”

“That’s great, Buck, I’m really happy for you,” Eddie said. A quick expression flitted across his face, too quick for Buck to decipher it, before Eddie gave him a genuine smile.

“Thanks, Eds,” Buck murmured, a pleased glow lighting up his face. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know but first, talk to me about Chris. What did you fight about, is he okay?” Buck was concerned for his favourite Diaz.

“He’s not Marisol’s biggest fan,” Eddie sighed, scrubbing his jaw. “He doesn’t like that she’s been babysitting him so much— which is on me, I’ve been going out a lot with Tommy, especially that first couple of weeks and now, I just— I guess I have to figure that out.”

“Shit, Eddie, I’m sorry,” Buck said, his voice soft with sympathy. “You want a beer?”

“God, yes please,” Eddie blew out a breath, coming to sit down at the island in Buck’s kitchen. Buck placed an opened beer in front of him and then opened one for himself. “Thanks, Buck.” Eddie said gratefully, taking a hearty sip.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t even know,” Eddie said, picking at the beer bottle label. “If I’m being honest, I’m not…really feeling it? Like, it was exciting at first and she’s nice but that’s…that’s it. I don’t feel a spark with her, y’know? I don’t really feel anything for her. I guess that’s why I kind of blew up at Chris, because I felt guilty that I wasn’t actually upset that he didn’t like her.”

“If you want me to talk to him, just let me know,” Buck offered.

“That would be great, I’d really appreciate that.”

“No problem,” Buck smiled before he took a deep breath, steeling himself for his next question. “Speaking of Christopher, Eddie can I….can I tell him? About me?”

Eddie looked at him in surprise. “Buck, of course. You don’t even have to ask. Besides, he’s…” Eddie trailed off, looking at Buck with soft eyes. “He’s your kid too.”

Buck swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat, feeling tears sting his eyes. “Y-yeah?”

“Yeah, Buck,” Eddie grinned.

“You’ve never said that before,” Buck said shyly.

“To be honest I thought you knew,” Eddie’s voice was gentle. “You’re his guardian if anything happens to me.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s mine,” Buck countered, looking down at his hands.

“It does to me,” Eddie replied firmly, so there was so ifs, ands, or buts. “He’s ours.”

“Ours,” Buck tested the word out, liking the way it sounded. “Okay. Ours.”

Eddie’s smile could outshine the sun and Buck felt his heart skip a beat, just like it always did when Eddie smiled at him.

The two of them were quiet for a minute, basking in the comfortable silence while they sipped their beer, before Buck eventually spoke up. “How do you think I should tell him?”

“That you’re bi?” Eddie asked and Buck nodded. “I’d just say it straight.”

Buck laughed. “Well, I don’t know if I can say it straight.”

Eddie chuckled. “You’re going to be making all the puns now, aren’t you?” His voice was unbearably fond and Buck wanted to wrap himself around the glow it lit inside him. “You know what I meant. Just say it outright, you know he’ll support you. You may have to explain what bisexual means but honestly I think he’s going to be very casual about it. Plus, he likes Tommy so you know he’s going to be excited that you’re dating.”

“Okay, great,” Buck’s shoulders relaxed and he let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you, Eddie.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Buck,” Eddie said. “Now come on, let’s finish these while we watch a shitty movie.”

“Sounds good,” Buck said warmly, following Eddie to the couch. And it did— sound good. He felt better than he had in weeks now that Eddie knew and was okay with it— just like Buck had always known he would be, but that small part of him that worried was loud. As Buck leaned back against the couch while they flicked through the movie options, he felt complete. And very, very free.

[lover-of-mine]

I just saw someone genuinely argue "as a Buddie shipper" (which I don't believe) that Buddie shouldn't happen because: their close friendship is too important, the text of the show doesn't support Eddie being gay the way it supports Buck being bi, Eddie is "not ready", and that Ryan Guzman plays Eddie "too straight" to be able to pull off acting Buddie and this feels like to me someone who doesn't actually ship Buddie but is claiming to cause they think it'll give them more credibility in criticizing it.

1) if I see one more argument about how their close male friendship is too important because of toxic masculinity and that making it romantic would ruin it I'm going to lose my marbles because this is the dumbest take. TV is FULL of vulnerable platonic male friendships - 9-1-1 is FULL of them. Also them becoming romantic does not mean they would no longer be friends.

2) So we're just pretending queer-coding doesn't exist now okay.

3) I'm sick to death of the argument of Eddie not being ready. When is he allowed to be ready??? Does he have to suffer for a decade before he's allowed to figure things out??

4) They have to be watching the show with their eyes closed to think Ryan Guzman who has been playing Eddie "Heart Eyes" Diaz for 6 seasons couldn't pull off Buddie.

I'm gonna talk about all points, but the Eddie is too straight thing drives me INSANE. Four months ago, if I said "oh, Eddie is straight, no way buddie is happening" I would have whole essays on how he's gay thrown my way before I hit post. We're talking about a character who had panic attacks about his girlfriend. Who this season had literal erectile dysfunction with another girlfriend. There is no heterosexual explanation for the way Eddie was looking at Buck during the poker game. That man looks at Buck like he's the sun, the sky, the stars, and the moon. Like Buck is somehow the best thing he ever laid eyes on. Yeah, there are threads to pull. With Buck. We only need Eddie to be into one man. And boy, do we have threads to pull there. And honestly, if you wanna see Ryan play painfully straight men, go watch anything else in his filmography, that man knows how to act painfully straight. It's not what he's doing with Eddie. This narrative that Ryan is somehow sabotaging buddie's chances is so beyond ridiculous. Personally, I don't subscribe to Eddie being strictly gay, but I legit don't care anymore as long as he's out of the closet soon give him whatever label, but even if there weren't threads to pull to make it seem like Eddie is in love with Buck, and there are a lot of them, this idea that Eddie being gay is only valid if he's a stereotypical gay man from the beginning is NUTS. Why does gay have to look a specific way to be valid for y'all? This is such a harmful point of view. You want rep but it needs to fit in this one specific box or else it's not valid? What is wrong with you?

The male friendship thing, please tell me where are we lacking vulnerable male friendships in media? Media is made of male friendships. Everything everywhere is about male characters. And Buck and Eddie dating would not negate their friendship all of a sudden. Yall do realize you're supposed to like the person you're dating, right? Isn't literally everyone on the planet telling everyone to marry their best friend? How would that ruin their friendship? It just makes them a stronger couple because they have that foundation. And there literally isn't a show or movie that had two guy best friends who weren't introduced as queer who started dating. Literally, does not exist in media, how would losing exactly one friendship suddenly destroy male friendship representation everywhere? And we weren't even be losing the friendship, the friendship is gonna be a core part of buddie forever. You want strong male friendships? Go watch literally anything else. Every procedural ever has two guy best friends. Go watch house, any of the ncis, h50, the one chicago shows, hell, go watch lord of the rings or something, there are so many male friendships in media. No one is gonna die if Buck and Eddie kiss.

And the whole Eddie not being ready thing. Are we watching the same show? The show where madney started while Maddie was running for her life or bathena started while Bobby was actively suicidal? Or that even henren was presented to us when Hen cheated? Buck's own definition of love is "So every day is the best day ever. Is that really love? Right? Shouldn't it be when you're at your worst, they're at their worst, you have every reason to give up, and you still decide you want to try again?" loving someone at their lowest is the definition of love for that show. It's working through the bad to appreciate the good. And again, this idea that someone needs to be healed to be worthy of love is fucked UP. Eddie is never gonna be fully healed. Recovery isn't linear and he has ptsd. He will forever grieve Shannon. Does that mean he's never gonna be allowed to be loved because he is a human being who has been through hell? What does it take for someone to be "ready for love", huh? What's the threshold here? He was in a helicopter that was shot down and got shot 3 times, he was abandoned by a wife he later was forced to watch die, he was shot at again in broad daylight, he watched his best friend die and had to save him, his own parents just stole his kid. What does he have to do to prove that he is worthy of love, how does he have to handle all that? What I'm getting here is that someone who's been through shit can't be loved, is that the message we're sending? Really? No one seriously wants Buck and Eddie to open season 8 dating, but they are partners and best friends and they don't have to have everything figured out before they go there, they can figure it out together, they do it together anyway. Why can't they take that step and figure things out as a couple? Jesus.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

breathe friend you know tommy is bones in s8, he's not bucks endgame the reliable leaker has literally been clear about that. don't believe anything that psychopath on twitter says, she's literally insane.

oh trust me i don’t believe anything she says lmao

and i know the leaker said that about tommy but tbh that dont mean shit about whether or not they are actually going to fix any of the fuckery they pulled in s7

just because they are allegedly giving tommy the boot doesn’t mean they’re going to actually get their shit together and stop ship baiting us; so like i said until they actually start to give us any indication that they’re going to stop mistreating poc characters for cheap drama and that storylines are actually going to be thought out beforehand rather than thrown together because “ehh, this is good enough” i’m not going to be wasting my time. these shows are meant for entertainment. if i am not being entertained by what’s being done, why am i going to waste my energy on it?

i dont say this to sound snippy or rude, anon, and it is NOT directed at you specifically (and i really hope it doesn’t come across that way i am just bad at emoting through screens 😭😭), i promise, but sometimes it feels like people who try to “talk me off the ledge” in these anonymous asks don’t really look at what i’m actually saying and they jump to the conclusion that i’m just making shit up to panic about, but the fact of the matter is that everything i talked about in that post is something that could feasibly happen… all of buck’s love interests up to this point have not been narratively satisfying; developed or not. so even if tommy does end up going like the leaker said (again not getting my hopes up because things change at the drop of a hat in this business) that doesn’t mean they will actually follow through with queer eddie or that any other potential love interest for buck will be in any way narratively satisfying. i’m not saying i’m closing on buddie, because i will love them and ship them together when my body is six feet under, but after the burning dumpster that was s7 post the cruise ship arc, i don’t have the faith in tim that i had before.

at the end of the day, yes abc is a more accepting and inclusive studio, but it is still that: a studio. a corporation. a money maker. they don’t actually give a fuck about the fans. i have seen time and time again that these shows do this cat and mouse shit with a queer ship and then never follow through, even if one of the characters involved does end up being confirmed queer. maybe it was a little harsh to say that tim is only interested in money, but after how little thought and care he put into last season it’s hard not to feel like he actually cares about the fans who have stuck with this show since the beginning.

i’ve mentioned before that i have stuck with this show for seven years. i have shipped buddie since s2. i witnessed the s4 buildup and subsequent letdown in s5 and 6. I know that was not tim’s fault specifically, that KR and Fox both fucked the show over

but that does not mean that tim won’t also change his mind— we saw evidence of that last minute with all the rewrites that were happening post mid season hiatus with s7. he found out he’s getting another season so he changed the plot of 7b, and if they get a season 9, all the more reason to keep dragging the buddie bait hype along with now true intentions to follow through?

i reslly really reallly wanted to trust tim again especially after the potential he had with the shooting arc in s4, but sometimes it feels like he himself has closed on buddie since then unless it’s done as a last-ditch effort to save the show… again, i’m not saying i think bt is going to be endgame, but just because they aren’t endgame doesn’t mean buddie is and that is what pisses me off. that we will have been waiting for nearly a decade for this ship to go canon, we will have gone through so much hate and vitriol from the bt stans, we have been teased and built up time and time again (even in s7), we have been bait and switched with no satisfactory outcome, and we have been laughed at the entire time, and there is a possibility that none of it will actually pay off, all because some white man gets to call the shots and he’s shown that all he cares about is melodrama and trolling people online to stir up shit.

anyway, i didn’t mean to hijack this post, anon, but i wnated to further expound upon what exactly my point was in my original post, which was not that i believed Bree’s delusions or that the helicopter pilot is buck’s endgame, but that i won’t trust tim to actually go through with anything promising until i start to see actual concrete irrefutable evidence of it.

[mazzystar24]

One thing that I dont understand is why everyone quickly forgetting about Oliver's comments that he wants bucktommy to follow Tarlos history

Or Tim saying that he wants to write a romcom with this relationship

Also, Kenneth saying that Buck finally found love or JLH wants scenes with Tommy in the season 8

Like, I think there is a strong chance of Lou to be in season 8

Hi anon!

I’m assuming you’re asking why people aren’t more convinced of bucktommy endgame and are still shipping buddie, I’m taking this at face value with no malice behind it but I will say if your intention was to kinda discourage buddie shippers or whatever by asking this then that’s a bit impolite because I’ve been very vocal on my blog about not icking other people’s yums or put a damper on anyone’s enjoyment of a ship or fandom

Now assuming you meant this genuinely and giving you the benefit of the doubt-

About the tarlos thing I genuinely don’t think I saw that (if you can send it I’d actually wanna read it) but there was sm press around the bi buck canon ep that I think maybe it just slipped my memory if it was around that time, even saying that if he did say something about that that could still mean a lot of things, like Ive personally not watched lone star (except a few eps here and there) and only have a vague understanding of tarlos but it could be talking about wanting a dynamic similar or something like that

Like let’s not forget Oliver also spoke multiple times how his ideal for this storyline is for bucktommy to break up and remain friends and for tommy to still be this guide to buck as he goes through his self discovery

And Tim saying he wants the relationship to be a romcom can just mean what he also said about wanting buck off the hamster wheel and sort of wanting his queer arc to be lighthearted and fun, like the relationship being a romcom doesn’t necessarily mean endgame to me for me it just communicates tone, like he doesn’t want them to struggle or kinda be put through too much angst and he wants it all to be light and carefree and a good experience for buck, which even as a buddie shipper I genuinely agree with so much because every relationship with buck has ended very badly and he’s just constantly getting hurt and I feel like he needs to have a good relationship and he needs that end to be amicable and have that be a good and healthy dynamic

Again Tim also said multiple things about them being a brief relationship, called them a fling and to not expect wedding bells, etc

Kenneth is not a writer or part of the ship so his opinion is interesting to see but doesn’t really hold much bearing on whether I think buck and Tommy are endgame

I do agree that it seems like Lou/tommy will be in s8 and I actually wanna see how it unfolds and also I feel like with so many bigger storylines it makes sense to keep the relationship going until s8 when you can actually get to see their relationship and also if/when they break up give it the time it needs to have actually made this a relationship rather than like a two episode/ date arc, you know what I mean? (idk if I’m being clear with what I mean)

Thanks for the ask anon!

[dowhatisaynotwhatido]

2. FBT - opening boxes and settling down

Paring: F!Reader x Wanda 

Context: After Wundagore in Multiverse of Madness, Wanda finds what she has been looking for in a small town – more precisely, in you.

Warnings: just comfort 

Word Count: 1.8k 

Part 1 | Part 2 (this)| Part 3 | Part 4*

Although Wanda had been in Farmville for the better part of a year when you came in that Saturday, the majority of her clothes, kitchenware and decorations were still in their original moving boxes. Wanda did not plan to take her stuff out of the moving boxes: after so many frustrations moves, she preferred to be prepared to quickly grab her stuff for when she grew tired of town. However, since you came into her life, she saw herself a little less anxious about moving out and the daily things did not bother her that much anymore. And without any plan whatsoever, she surprised herself asking you to help out – even though she could easily do it with her magic, while comfortable laying on her couch sipping a tea.

In your side of the story, helping out Wanda to organize wasn't your favorite Saturday morning activity. Of course, you enjoyed her company and that week you realized how much you missed an adult friendship. However, the truth is that you simply needed the money. Your earnings as a teacher could easily support your single lifestyle; you never had a problem with that. But since adding a couple of twins necessities, the weekly therapy sessions and the need to move to a 2 bedroom house rent to your monthly bills, you were going through your savings on a dangerous speed.

Your brother and sister-in-law not-so-significant heritage were stored by the government until the twins were 16 years old, and the three of you would be starving if you waited for that. Your mom couldn't help regularly, and your sister-in-law family didn't even bother to show up in your brother’s funeral. So it was up to you to make the extra money.

You sold your old car for an old-old-super-old car. You gave up your mortgage and got a rental. You quickly sold and traded any of your extra belongings and now there was nothing left. The therapist helped you with a social fee and the elementary school gathered last year’s books, uniforms and everything that 6 yo could need to study. Your tutoring gave you a few bucks an hour, and the extra grading and online queering allowed a couple more. But it wasn't enough. Going out the academic route wasn't on your agenda, but the payroll Wanda offered could get your family through a week and you weren't going to pass that.

"Good morning, Ms. Maximoff" You said embarrassed.

"Good Lord, Y/N. Wanda." She said giving you a peck on the cheek like you were friends. "Come on in; leave your stuff on the counter. I just started on the kitchen" Wanda wore a set of sweatpants and white T-shirt with her hair up in a messy ponytail. She was a beautiful women, definitely the type you used to date - not that you were even remotely available to do anything about it in the crazy pace your life was going.

The morning passed by fast. Your company was even more enjoyable than Wanda thought, you held a light mood and you were becoming increasing more comfortable around each other. As you held the stairs for Wanda to clean an open cabinet, or you carried together a large and heavy box - you found yourself enjoying the domestic environment around her. It was pass noon when Wanda ordered a pizza and a couple of beers for you to take a break.

"Not that I am complaining... But aren't you, like, super strong?" You asked while taking a bite.

"Kind of" She dismissed getting both of you another beer "Why?"

"With all due respect, oh-miss-magical-fingers... Why the hell did we tore our back with the heavy lifting if you could do it with your pinky?" You looked at her confused both of your chuckling.

"Magical fingers?" she smirked and handled your beer. "Are you going to believe me if I tell you I forgot about it?"

"No" You smiled “But it is ok, I was just wondering why you needed my help in the first place."

"I didn’t. I like your company, Y/N. And it would feel lonely to settle down alone again." She looked into your eyes and gave a small smile "And I don't feel like being alone again"

"I know what you mean" You didn't. As much as you liked Wanda's company and her proximity made you feel all mushy and somewhat stupid; you didn't see Wanda in a romantic way. She, in the other hand, felt you cozy and warm, easy to talk to, easy smile and she was interested in a very non-platonic way.

"Sure thing" She laughed and followed you into the room.

"You don't. Yet" Her eyes quickly darted to your mouth and you instinctively licked your bottom lip flustering with the attention.

"Shall we go to the bedroom?" She lifted her brows mocking you "To organize!" you added embarrassed.

The bedroom was bigger than you expected from a 3-bedroom house. She had an on-suite and a walk-in closet - almost empty apart from couple row of clothes. You started organizing her bathroom, taking mental notes on her products, scents and a special crimson lipstick that had your dreaming about it a few weeks ago. Her skincare routine was neatly displayed on the counter, her extra towels folded under the sink and all her hair products on a basket as she instructed. There was just one box left behind and you opened it without a second thought the same way you had done with so many on that day.

But oh damn. That box was different.

You groaned low at the sight of it, your mouth watering as your mind wandered to where-how-when Wanda would use all of that.

Wanda was in her closet when she heard you and smiled to herself. She planted the box in there this morning, hoping that you would find it. Your thoughts weren't exactly innocent while sneaking a peek at the toys Wanda kept neatly organized in that box. Many sizes, shapes, different uses, intensities, a whole other world from your small bag back home. You were building a special mental image of Wanda wearing the big black strap you held when she called out your name to help. You almost let it fall as you quickly shut the box and placed it back on the cabinet.

“Thank you, sweetie.” She praised you, your cheeks burning due to the pet name.  “Do you know how to drill a hole in the wall?” She asked when you were almost over.

Once you got into the closet, Wanda was up the ladder, her ass pin up right on you eye level. She was reading your thoughts constantly since she heard your gasp, and the praise to her ass was exactly why she called you using a heavy box as excuse.

You offered politely to grab it for her, once again forgetting about how silly it all was considering she could magically get it down. As you got up in the ladder, Wanda's hands found your thigh in what seemed to be an innocent act. The proximity and the heat of her hand took a small whimper out of you, to the satisfaction of a greedy Wanda.

“Uhum. Do you want me to hang something?” You asked distracted while sorting some Knick and knacks into a smaller box

“Not hang. I just need a couple of wall mounts over there” She pointed towards her headboard hiding a mischievous grin “But I am afraid of the screwdriver” That was a lie. Wanda knew her way around a toolbox, as she often were on her own since her teen years.

“Why would someone need wall mounts near the bed?” You asked innocently while preparing the drill

She smirked “I can rope a couple of reasons” Your cheeks reddened immediately as you caught up with her meaning.

“Oh” you coughed out your embarrassment and focused on the task, your mind travelling a million directions.

All throughout the rest of the day, Wanda collected small touches and teases, observing your reactions and how your thoughts frequently traveled back to the toy-box.

….

In the days that followed that weekend, you two became close. You stopped by the teachers’ lounge more often, went out together to grab coffee and Wanda got used on waiting by your classroom door to escort you back to your car. Wanda quickly became an essential part of you daily life.

- What?

You and Wanda have been talking over coffee for a few minutes already when she suddenly tensed over something you said.

"What ‘what’?"

"What did you say your kids name were?"

"They are named Anthony and Thomas, you know that already" You frowned

"Yes, yes. Sorry. I was under the impression you said Billy and Tommy" She chuckled relaxing.

"Oh, I did. Sorry." You smiled fondly "Anthony's nickname is Billy, after his father. He always has been little Billy because they look so much alike. But after his passing, Billy just doesn't accept being called Anthony anymore" you said sadly.

When you got no response from Wanda, you lifted your gaze finding a conflicted Wanda staring down at her mug.

"Wands?"

"Sorry. I-I have to go" She said storming off.

The thing is that when you told her your kids name were Anthony and Thomas, she thought nothing of it. You have never showed her even a photo of them - keeping their privacy on social media and personal relations due to the abuse they suffered last year. So she has never seen them, and honestly, it never crossed her mind. But today, after she heard you calling them Billy and Tommy, some piece snapped back into place and she finally realized the answer to what had been bothering her for so long since the Darkhold.

Wanda didn’t mean to upset you or your kids. Of course she knew about both of them, as you talked a lot about them.

You two had become closer the last few weeks and Wanda found herself specially drawn to you difficult but ordinary life. She wanted to know everything about you and she finally started to open herself to another person. Wanda knew it was stupid of her letting you get so close, she knew she could not ever be deserving of love again- she had it once and she blew it. Her self-vexing was more than enough to keep her from making any advances towards you, but the reality is that you were the first thing she thought about before sleep and the first thing in the morning. She was falling for you in the last few weeks. Not that you knew anything about it.

And no. That wouldn't do.

Part 3

[squishyfruitloop]

Buckle up, bitches. Because I'm about to tell you a story.

I've known I was queer since high school, but due to some DEEPLY INGRAINED homophobic opinions (🖕you, traditional Christianity) I refused to admit it until YEARS later. Like after uni later. The way it kind of came out to my mum and sister (the only ones in the family to know) wasn't the best way to tell them (bundled up in an argument and some revelations about some traumatic ass shit that happened--s****l a*****t). I had my first real girlfriend after that. Younger than me, but not by too much. Her mum and I worked at the video store together, and we'd hang out as a group and watch new films (mum was way older). Almost a year later, we broke up. Oh well...

As an adult, I've embraced who I am. I'm not out to my family because of the whole BURN IN HELL YOU SINNER bullshit that they practice (not you know "love your neighbor" and Jesus said "STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE"). My students take one look at me and go, yep. QUEER SCHOOL MUM! They know they're safe to talk to me. About 3.5 years ago... maybe a little longer... I started to realize I was also poly. Now, I'd met and become engaged to my husband at that point (three year anniversary yesterday, boy buddy--got married on the 13th). But that's how I felt. It took a while for me to tell him.

Since then, I've had a couple relationships. My now wife--yeah, my wife--is my other best friend. We met because of Tumblr. Because of one of my Young Bucks fan fics on my writing blog ("I sat bolt upright in bed and realized THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A KID NAMED RJ"). We bonded over our love of wrestling and Fozzy and classic rock. We wrote a whole thing over Tumblr message that is basically the reason we're together (Jericho really IS the cupid of rock). She is EVERYTHING I could ever have asked for and more. Yeah, she's hot and sexy and fine AF. Yeah, she's funny and makes me laugh and reminds me that being my unique self is amazing. Yeah, she is an amazing mum in her own right and loves and cares for everyone around her. Yeah, she's like me and a little slutty (a lot slutty) for Daddy Jericho. But the best thing about being with my wife? The absolutely best thing?

Every single day, she makes me be a better version of myself. She shows me kindness and grace and respect and sacrifice. She sees me, hears me, tells me hard truths when I need to hear them. She allows me to be vulnerable and trusts me to be supportive of her vulnerability. She holds up a mirror that reflects who I WANT to be.

And that means being honest. It means facing my doubts and my jealousy and being able to recognize that yes, I have a mental health disorder that makes my emotions hard to regulate in personal relationships. But no, that isn't an excuse for not taking ownership of how my emotions affect my behaviors and then affect others.

She gives me courage. Courage to fly 3,000 miles to a country where I knew no one but her where I stayed for a week. She makes sacrifices for me and our relationship just as I do, too. She fights for us. WE fight for US. Our Family.

In short, my wife is my person. She is the place I feel safest letting down my walls and showing who I am. (Husband too, of course, but this ain't about you,boy buddy, so stop being so diva). @spaghetti-hoop, I love you with all my heart. Forever and ever. Amen.

P.S. Also, who gives a fuck if baldy saw the end of Schitt's Creek? He doesn't get to wear gorgeous headbands like Alexis and definitely wouldn't know how to respond to...

[iphyslitterator]

And the winner is....Maddie!

Maddie beat Chim by a slim margin, and the Buckley-Han family collectively received over 50% of the vote. Rounding up propaganda from the notes because I love what everyone had to say:

Maddie

#i want tommy with maddie#ie future in-laws having a good convo#maybe waiting for their guys together

#Maddie is the only correct answer#we’ve seen him with mostly everyone else#but this is Buck’s sister and number one#they need to meet

Chimney

#everyone but especially#chimneyyyy#madney bucktommy double date when

#i said chim because the shenanigans would be *chef's kiss*

I would love to see Chimney's take on Buck/Tommy. Is Chimney gonna interrogate Tommy as well? Will he give Tommy the shovel talk too? Will he see right through Tommy? What's going on in Chim's head?

Hen

#HEN!!!!!!!#I need her to give him the side eye and be like………..#sooooooooooooooo#and I think it would be funny#but also like a heartfelt conversation of his apologizing and maybe acknowledging that his straight passing-ness and whiteness#gave him the ability to hide under Gerard’s rule#and him admitting that he looked up to Hen secretly and made some complaints that got Gerard reassigned I’m

#hen#i need that wlw mlm solidarity and i need them to talk about the differences of being openly vs closeted queer under gerard

Jee-Yun

(Honorary Award for Most Likely to Produce Fic in the Tags)

#okay jee yun just bc I think it would be cute#actually in my dream world we get a scene with all the kids ganging up on tommy at one of the get togethers

#instinctively went to karen before I saw jee-yun!!!#let that big man hold a child NOW#buck leaves them alone for two minutes and suddenly tommy is wearing a tiara and engaged in a very serious#discussion of stuffed animal political rivalries#I want him stoic and serious as he listens carefully and asks questions#he gets absolutely nonsense answers back but he he nods sternly like it’s the most important thing he’s ever heard#buck cries watching them and says I love you for the first time that night

#jee-yun#i want tommy seeing uncle buck with his niece#and have feelings about it#and then buck thrusts jee in tommy's arms because he needs to go do something#and jee starts explaining to tommy how to fly a helicopter or something#something tommy knows he told buck#and apparently buck told jee#and jee is very excited to teach this man who makes her uncle buck smile a lot something#jfc i need to go to sleep not start a whole new fic in tags

#jee#i need uncle Tommy and adorable jee together#and Buck melts on the background ready to give Tommy kids

Eddie

#eddie. for normal reasons. (Note: op ultimately went with this)

#I NEED TEDDIE#I'M BEING ROBBED

#eddie!#i’d love to see that friendship now that Tommy is dating his best friend

#eddie because I think they could really support each other particularly about army related PTSD

#i want to see what chaos the boys get up to

#sorry but i so need eddietommy friendship back

Bobby

#bobby#i need a 'what are your intentions with my son' moment

#i wanna see dad bobby

Karen

#karen because I think they’d be besties

Josh

#i need live slug reaction from josh about everything tommy does#we were robbed this last season

#girl anyways I want him and Josh to queen out together

Christopher

#Christopher because i think they’d have like a parallel play neurodivergent thing going on#Like Buck and Eddie are excitedly discussing something in the corner#meanwhile chris and Tommy are silently but comfortably playing video games or building a Lego set

Write-in: Gerrard (2)

#angsty evil version: gerrard

#I think Gerrard actually#I would just love to see more of the vulnerable Tommy that we got a glimpse of after the award ceremony#Or maybe him finally standing up for himself (or even better for Buck)#Yeah I need Gerrard to be awful to Buck and Tommy being all protective even though he couldn't find the strength to stand up for himself#He will do it for Buck

Write-in: Sal (1)

#sal please I crave it#I want Tommy to have stayed in contact with him#I want him to be a person trying to be better#I want Tommy to have friends#and I want sal to be those friends#I want og 118 to reunite and talk things out#minus gerrard#cause ew#I want Tommy and sal to be guilted into a 118 cookout and feel like they don’t belong#until they are brought in regaling tales of 118 pre-Eddie pre-buck pre-Bobby even pre-hen and chimney#bonus points if it’s a madney wedding reception redo and Eli is there

Do feel free to elaborate even if you pick the last one :)

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Do you think the bt break up will be as queer coded as the eddieana’s or more about buck’s feelings? I mean with Lucy in it I wonder how they’ll play it out

Hey Nonnie

I saw part tow of this ask, so I will answer them as one rather than two separate answers!

Its actually a complicated thing to answer and my personal feeling is that we're going to see it be very much around Bucks feelings - what he want's in a relationship and partner being at the fore - I think we might see him confessing that his kiss with Lucy was a manifestation of his uncertainty about his feelings for Taylor an that he was clinging to her because he felt like he had nothing else at the time. How much more Lucy will play into things - I don't know, but I don't think much beyond what I've already said - she was a catalyst and in that respect she's already played her part (although like I've said before Taylor finding out that Buck is working with the 'random club girl he kissed' is going to re-trigger that initial

Something is obviously going to happen to push Buck into finally admitting what he's been skirting around for the last couple of episodes - because where we're at with Buck now, is not him realising what he wants or doesn't want, he's still in the 'if I say I love her enough maybe I'll start to feel it, believe it, and I messed up and we're living together so I owe it to her to stick with this and relationships are work so I can't give up because its always going to be like this' phase of thinking. What that something is, I'm not sure, because its going to need to be something important to push him to where he needs to be - it might be a series of somethings - Eddie and Chris, Maddie and Chim, something that happens on a call, Taylor herself saying or doing something.

But Buck is going to come to the realisation that he has been pretending for far to long in his relationship, pretending he is happy, pretending he has deeper feelings than he actually does and pretending that he can make it work if he keeps pushing down what he actually already knows and accepting that he's going to hurt her no matter what - its unavoidable and it always has been. All of that has to go hand in hand with him realising what he actually wants - because you can't really achieve or accept one without the other they are two sides of the same coin.

We may see some Queer coding - if the writers choose to have Buck acknowledge and accept part of the way he's feeling is because he realises he already built what he wants - with Eddie, but I expect it to be far more subtle that Eddies break up because the writers aren't just going to rinse and repeat - plus we've been tortured with far more Taylor than any of us ever wanted - she has more of an established character that Ana ever had so I expect it to be played very differently because of that fact alone! We also have to remember Eddie was and has been going through a full on Queer panic - it's been written as a part of his trauma arc - repression et all.

I've not been getting that vibe with Bucks own arc - I'm getting much more of a Buck won't be bothered by his sexuality, or labels - that its not something he'll feel the need to question in the same way as Eddie has - for Buck it feels like its going to be much more of a 'Oh I'm in love with my best friend how long have I felt like this and how didn't I realise it before' immediately followed by acceptance of this as his new reality, rather than entailing any panic in the way we've been experiencing with Eddie - its more simple for Buck and I think its great if we see it unfold in this way - because I think its important to show there are different types of Queer awakenings in your thirties and that there is no right or wrong way for it to happen.

[inawickedlittletown]

Queerbaiting and Buddie

(word count: 1,900)

I keep saying that I don’t want to spend any more time on 9-1-1 meta or fic, but the events of this weekend made me open up a document where I had some unfinished meta and in light of the S4 finale airing tonight, I thought I might at least write this: 

“Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation. They do so to attract a queer or straight ally audience with the suggestion of relationships or characters that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers.” 

That is how Wikipedia defines queerbaiting. And I really feel like everyone needs to read that and then read it again and realize that what is happening on 9-1-1 with Buddie is NOT queerbaiting. 

I don’t want to go into the long history of queerbaiting because we would be here all day and anyone that wants to do some research should go and do so. There are a lot of resources out there. Use them. 

But the short of it is this: queerbaiting has a lot more to do with the way a show is promoted, with the way that anyone involved in the show talks about a queer ship, and with the show deliberately scripting scenes that hint at a relationship without any intention of following through. Expectations and wanting a queer ship to go canon and those expectations not being met do not alone equate to it being queerbaiting. 

For any of us that have been around a long time there are a lot of perfect examples and if you compare Buddie to any of them, they are very different. I’ll name a few:

Merlin/Arthur

John Watson/Sherlock

Emma Swan/Regina

Derek/Stiles

Castiel/Dean Winchester (though they did go canon...barely)

Lena/Kara

Buck and Eddie do not fit into that list. Which isn’t to say that someday they could belong there, but I just do not believe that they will even if Buddie never becomes canon. And this all lies in how Buddie as a ship has been treated both on screen and off. I’ll break it down by season. 

S2: 

Eddie is very clearly introduced as a new character, a straight Army veteran with a disabled kid and family drama. He and Buck have immediate chemistry. We can’t deny that, or deny that from that first episode there are immediate sparks. Unintended sparks, but sparks nevertheless. And it is easy to tell that no one on the production team expected that and the story reflects that. 

Yes a foundation for their friendship is formed and yet the season long story focuses on Eddie’s relationship with his estranged wife and Buck is dealing with his own growth after being left by Abby. Their friendship shines and their scenes are great but none of them suggest romance and there are actually a lot of episodes where Buck and Eddie barely interact in S2 aside from in the background or for small work related moments (this mostly happens after Shannon returns). 

S2 does give us the first acknowledgement from the powers that be aka Tim Minear that they know what the fans have seen. This is why the elf scene exists, but it exists in a space where it’s a nod to the fans and not meant to do much more than that. The other moment is during the call with the livestreamer. But S2, places them completely and without question on a strong friendship. 

S3: 

We see a lot more conflict for Buck and Eddie in this season and we see how close and important they are to each other. Those are the two main things. That can be read as friendship easily and it’s a season where both Buck and Eddie deal with their pasts and in one way or another start to get closure while their friendship remains intact. 

Yes there are some scenes that make us squint and go huh, wtf? (I’m looking at you kitchen scene), but narratively we also know that neither of these boys is ready for a real relationship with anyone, let alone each other. But we can bask in how close they are as well as how Christopher fits in into all of it. 

But in S3 we are also introduced to Ana and we see the return of Abby. We also get to see that Buck and Eddie have become closer than ever and that the lawsuit only serves to highlight the importance that they both feel about having the other available to them. I’ll also quickly mention that Eddie Begins worked hard to highlight Buck’s devotion to Eddie. 

S4: 

Without considering the events of the finale (I am avoiding spoilers and know nothing about it or the speculation), we’ve seen Buck and Eddie both grow and get further closure on their past. This season has paralleled them well and their friendship has not faltered, they’re as close as ever. 

The beginning of the season was heavily focused on Buck and we saw him grow as a person and begin to work on himself in a healthy way and we’ve seen Eddie be supportive of that. 

We also have Ana to consider and her relationship with Eddie as well as the return of Taylor and yet the appearance of these women has not changed the Buck and Eddie dynamic. And I find it fascinating that Eddie beginning to date Ana, is the thing that prompted Buck to start dating. The parallels are all over the place but it is the strength of the friendship and the way they care so deeply about each other that remains whether that becomes romantic is still to be seen, but it could still go either way.  

Off-screen by the end of S2, Tim Minear had already addressed Buddie by throwing in that elf scene in a wink/nudge fashion that said “I see you” and in the scene with the girl with the livestream with the comments. During S3 he tweeted about being frustrated by the fans demanding and being hostile and thinking that that would make him more likely to do what they want (I’m paraphrasing what I remember seeing). Tim has never once said that Buddie will happen or shut the door on the ship entirely, but he did say he did not want to engage in conversation about it because he doesn’t want to get into arguments with fans. 

Oliver has always been enthusiastic about Buddie and has even said that he would be perfectly fine with it happening both a while ago and more recently in promo for S4. Conscious of queerbaiting and not wanting to give fans false hope, he has specifically said that he does not know if it will or won’t happen and that he wouldn’t speak on that as he’s not the one making that decision. His support for it happening does not mean he has any sway one way or the other. He’s said this a few times and even wrote a letter to the effect to make it clear to fans that the last thing he wants is to disappoint someone due to something he’s said. 

All in all, it just isn’t a constructive environment for anyone working on the show to interact with fans on this topic because any time that they do, they get attacked by overly enthusiastic buddie shippers that in many ways are making everything worse. 

In all of the interviews from Tim that I’ve seen, he has always been very quick to hint at what was coming up on the show in a way that at times has been misleading on purpose. The number one thing that comes to mind is early in S4 where Buck was said to get a new woman in his life. Tim absolutely made it out to seem like it was a girlfriend while knowing fully well that it was a therapist. This is an excellent example of what promoting and hinting is actually like. No one from this show has done that in regards to Buddie. 

No one has gone out of their way to hint that it may happen in a way that excites the fans. And this is one of my main reasons for knowing that Buddie is not a queerbait. At no point in the life of the show so far has anyone used Buddie in a promotional way to bring in viewers. Because THAT was the whole point of queerbaiting in the past. 

It was a way that some showrunners found to bring in a lot of viewers when they needed to up their numbers in order to show networks they were worth keeping around. Someone figured out that LGBTQ people wanted to see themselves represented so much so that they would tune in to anything that promised an LGBTQ character in some fashion. It was a tactic that worked well in the landscape of tv where there was so little LGBTQ content on mainstream media that anyone wanting it would latch onto anything. And then they just wouldn’t deliver on those relationships or characters. In 2021, that is not the world we live in any longer. 

In today’s tv landscape there is so much to watch and so much to pick from and diversity has grown, it is celebrated. Queer characters are well represented as are queer relationships and queer stories. The times are different. A while back I was listening to a podcast (Bait: a queerbaiting podcast) and something I found interesting was how the hosts both agreed that in today’s tv landscape there is no more real queerbait and that we won’t easily find anything like the ships I mentioned above. I think I agree more with this than I expected to, because I do think that it exists in some spaces, but it definitely isn’t what it used to be. This is a good thing. 

Specific to 9-1-1, this is a show that has that diversity and that isn’t afraid of tackling that diversity and giving us interesting and nuanced perspectives and stories embracing that. We have characters of color, women in positions of power, a F/F relationship, two multi-racial relationships, a disabled character, other queer characters including a M/M relationship. There is so much in this show that embraces diversity and that embraces the reality of what the world looks like. To call it queerbait is to disrespect everything else that this show is and has done and the hard storylines that have been tackled that we would not have seen on tv ten years ago. 

And I get that Buddie would be another breakthrough. It would be a novel way to tell a queer story, and it would be amazing if it were to happen. The set up is there, but it isn’t fully realized, and Buck and Eddie can still be read as just friends if we take off the shipping goggles. But it also isn’t queerbait or likely to become queerbait and people have to stop calling it that. 

What Buddie resembles is one of the many unintended slow burn ships that have frustrated viewers in many forms across fandoms and we just have to go along for the ride and maybe it will happen. Or maybe it won’t. But if we know anything about relationships on tv, it is that a lot of the fun comes from the journey, even if the destination is good too. 

[readinginthereadyroom]

let’s talk about 9-1-1 buddie headcanons:

- eddie gets rid of his truck. christopher is getting older and wants more independence so he gets something with better clearance. and I’ve decided that something is a dodge durango. eddie is actually really into it. can’t stop talking about the fold down seats and towing capabilities. buck teases him and calls it his soccer mom van. then immediately starts researching CP-friendly soccer leagues for chris.

- buck strikes me as a podcast kinda guy. I feel like a lot of his random facts probably start with information learned via podcast and then researched separately on google or wikipedia. 

- luddite eddie my beloved. but not like luddite luddite. eddie’s a millennial so I see him as okay with all the 20th century technology he grew up with and just not all the newfangled smart home/internet gaming stuff. 

- abuela gives eddie an old turntable and a box of records and he falls in love with it. likes to play spanish love songs while cleaning on the weekends.

- eddie breaks up with ana. he does it quietly and cordially a couple weeks after the sniper incident.

- buck and taylor date for a little while but never really take off. and it’s super important that it’s buck who makes the decision to break up. they both have very busy lives and different priorities. and taylor acknowledges she probably shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place. she just hated to see buck so broken and wanted to comfort him. they decide they are better as friends.

- bosko and eddie friendship rights! eddie actually apologizes to her and they become gym buddies. lena stops going to the junkyard fights and finds an MMA gym that she’ll take eddie to. during the pandemic they somehow find themselves doing socially distanced tai-chi in the park. they keep it up once the gyms reopen.

- side note: lena does in fact get a cat. he’s a huge floofy maine coon named sarge who absolutely adores eddie. rubs his head all over him and immediately worms his way into his lap when eddie visits. he hisses at buck tho and lena finds it endlessly hilarious.

- demisexual eddie! I like the idea of lena no-nonsense asking eddie if he’s ace one day and eddie just having an internal panic attack but not being able to figure out why. karen gently brings it up few months later and he’s just deny deny deny. then he overhears david telling michael that he gives off ace vibes and that’s the last straw. so eddie pulls a full buck and starts researching just to prove everyone wrong. except it’s like a lightbulb clicks on and yeah. maybe there’s something to this.

- eddie and karen have a book club every other week. usually novellas or a short story collection. queer theory and literary fiction. the occasional poetry book. at some point they invite david to join them. they also have a not-so-secret romance novel exchange because they are big saps.

- eddie is also a sucker for a really good cup of black coffee. has a favorite hole-in-the-wall cafe where he buys beans in bulk. buck calls it his diesel fuel drink and grimaces at the taste. he prefers simple oatmilk latte from the place near the station. and yet buck always seems to know what days eddie will be running late and rushing to work and has a cup from said hole-in-the-wall coffee waiting. despite it not being on buck’s route. 

- christopher loves buck’s loft. buck keeps a stash of toys and coloring books in his coffee table trunk for when he visits. chris sees the stairs as a fun challenge and will often ask to go up and sit on buck’s bed to watch the city. or sit on the patio while buck bbq’s dinner for the three of them. he thinks it’s the coolest house ever.

- buck actually rides his bike. it’s not just for show. especially after the pandemic hit. he likes to go out in the mornings. drives to a nearby trail on his days off and enjoys the scenery while the sun comes up. sometimes eddie and chris meet him there after his ride and they have a breakfast picnic.

- the diaz-buckley-han’s share one netflix account. it’s technically buck’s in that he pays for it, but when maddie moved to LA he set her up with her own profile. then logged into his account at eddie’s one day and never logged out. renamed the profile buck & eddie after he setup a kid’s profile specifically for chris. then after learning about maddie and chim’s not-dating buff-fridays, buck put both their names on her profile as a prank. and then it just stayed that way. jee-yun even has a profile despite being a literal infant that doesn’t watch tv. maddie cried when she saw it.

- buck takes the legal guardianship thing very seriously. he’s already really involved in essentially co-parenting chris but he starts getting really nervous about asking invasive questions about chris’ medical history. so eddie sits him down with chris and the three of them talk about it. eddie very specifically asks chris if he’s okay with sharing that kind of info with buck. because even tho christopher’s a kid eddie always wants him to have a say in his own health decisions. then he has a more in-depth convo with just buck about insurance and bills and doctor’s visits. makes sure buck has access to all of it. 

- chris played secret matchmaker. went to his old friend santa claus and asked if buck would stay forever. santa came thru, as always.

- also carla knows. buck starts spending more nights at the diaz house and one morning she lets herself in and sees buck coming out of eddie’s room in just a pair of sweatpants. she gives him a coy eyebrow raise and buck blushes. then she just laughs, pats his cheek affectionately, and says your secret’s safe with me buckaroo. when a bleary-eyed eddie wanders out a half hour later she pushes a cup of coffee into his hands, waits a few moments, looks eddie dead in the eyes, and points at buck. I see you took my advice. eddie chokes on his coffee.

- speaking of carla she is family. she and her husband are regular guests at the 118 get-togethers, holidays at the firehouse, and family meals. she occasionally takes on other clients, but she’s mostly exclusive to the diazes these days. esp as christopher gets older and wants more independence. she’s been around since he was 7 and he’s comfortable with her. she stays his home heath care aide until she retires. then she personally vets a new one. because not just anyone will do for her boy. they throw her a huge retirement party.

- gonna jump into the future because christopher absolutely names his daughter carla shannon buckley-diaz. there isn’t a dry eye in the house.

- and I don’t actually see chris calling buck pops or anything. he’s just his buck. tho I can see eddie asking christopher if he wants to hyphenate his last name when buck officially adopts him. buck’s his hero so chris is 100% onboard. 

- buck and eddie don’t have more kids. eddie never wanted more and buck is surrounded by the ever-expanding horde of firefam kids. they love their little trio.

- also eddie is hilariously terrible with other kids. he just. doesn’t know how to talk to them. he’s literally the best father ever with christopher, but any other kid and he’s all awkward hello small human. it’s also the reason the team sends buck to handle kid rescues. he knows how to speak to kids and they light up around his sunshine energy. but then there are certain kids who just glom onto eddie. usually the quiet ones. they find something about his calm dad presence very soothing so they just cling to him until buck can coax them around. 

- I do not see the buckley-diazes getting a pet. buck and eddie work long shifts and it’s not fair to put that kind of extra responsibility on carla when her job is to care for chris. however, as chris gets older he does get a mobility service dog to help with counterbalance. she’s a golden retriever named stella and she’s a very good girl. 

- buck proposes by accident. they’re at the park with christopher and marriage just sorta comes up during one of his infodumps. eddie is eating his sandwich, nodding along, and just casually says of course I want to marry you. buck stops talking. christopher giggles. eddie panics. but when he looks at buck he’s all puppy-eyed and hopeful. you do? eddie nods. chris chimes in with a stage whispered ask properly buck and say yes dad. so they do.

[myimaginarywonderland]

I am sorry normally I wouldn't jump onto a post but you literally put this negativity in the character tags so I feel like this is justified as a response.

I truly mean this not in a bad way but kindly, this is such a wild take.

Let people be enthusiastic! We got another queer character, we have a character whose backstory leaves so much interesting plot room, a character who opens up the potential for a completely new perspective of first responders! There is so much to do here.

I don't know why you would only qualify a relationship as making out, when we have not seen that form one main couple. Hell, Madney hasn't truly shared an on screen kiss in season and no one is doubting that even before their first kiss they were dating?

Yes, we don't yet have a full relationship but I feel like some of you truly don't understand that what Buck and Tommy are doing is literally how most relationships work. You meet someone, you hang out with them or you know talk to them, you decide to go on dates, you spend time together and you get to know each other before you discuss labelling your relationship. Buck and Tommy are so far probably the most realistic couple we have seen because they are just two people who meet and decide to give it a try eventhough they barely know each other. All the other couples knew of each other before or were set up basically but Buck and Tommy are just two people deciding to try because they like each other. That is the most realistic ship we have had yet and while they haven't labelled anything, it is obvious that they are intending to date each other.

I still think Buck wasn't intending to hurt anyone. It was an accident in my eyes. And even then, you can't blame the shippers of even Tommy because the actions were Buck's and Buck's alone. Honestly, we have seen violence multiple times before on this show but it is always brushed over so I don't know why you are all suprised. Also Buck didn't hurt Eddie to get in Tommy's pants. He found himself in a completely new situation overwhelmed by his emotions and hurt by the actions of his friend. We know Buck is traumatized, it just never gets addressed. Buck showed not only an emotional but in my opinion also a trauma response. We have seen Eddie lash out as a trauma response, even physical. And in that case it was with intent. Is it okay? No. But there is layers to it that aren't receded to "I hurt someone because I wanted to fuck you."

This Buck and Maddie take is literally in my opinion fulled by society's underlying homophobia. Why? Because it wouldn't have been a big deal for any of you all if Buck brought some random girl. Eddie is bringing Marisol probably, someone who knows nothing about either Maddie or Chim. Meanwhile, Chim is at least on friendly terms with Tommy and has probably mentioned him to Maddie before. Not to mention the fact that Maddie knows about Tommy because of Buck. Tommy has probably more reason to be at that wedding than either Buckley parent to be honest. Also, it's not a big deal. If you were at a friend's wedding and saw someone bring a guy as a dude, that would not be the talk of the day. You are all making this into a bigger thing then it is. What will be big on a wedding will be the literally couple getting married. No one will look twice if maybe a guest brought someone of the same sex as his date. Hell, we don't even know if Buck hasn't come out yet by the time the wedding has happened considering there is a time jump. Again, who someone brings on a date to a wedding shouldn't matter more than the groom or bride and if it does, I think you all are just seeing the wrong priorities yourself. Not to mention your "You don't want this is really weird." I am sure people have photos of important events all the time where a couple in said photo isn't dating anymore. That's normal. People date, people break up. People might be madly in love at some event and hate each other the next. That is literally life. Why we are focusing on a couple who couldn't even bother to show up the first time their daughter got married is beyond me.

Right, this is such a straight take. "How can you be sure?" Wtf? You don't need to be sure of a relationship to know your sexuality. Tommy isn't someone that magically made Buck bi. Buck has always been bi, he just hasn't realised it. Tommy and Buck dating or not dating doesn't make Buck any less bi. Buck and Eddie dating would not make Buck less bi. Buck and Taylor dating doesn't mean Buck is less bi. Regardless of who he dates, Evan Buckley is a bisexual man and if he wants to tell that while being in a relationship with another men that he can.

Buck isn't hijacking Maddie's wedding. The idea that Buck would invite someone without at least asking Maddie is so absurd. He wanted to even more sure that Eddie was just okay with him possibly being on a date with a man, what makes you all think he didn't ask Maddie if she could maybe keep a seat if Tommy wanted to come? What makes you all think that Maddie and Buck haven't talked? Like, just because we don't see every conversation build up, doesn't mean there wasn't a build up.

Buck and Maddie own their parents nothing. Especially not Buck. They are barely their parents as it is. People don't own anyone a coming out, especially if it's someone who has hurt you.

To see a character that is finding himself, finding happiness in his queer journey and doing that journey at his own pace, as selfish just because he decides which steps to take is literally something homophobic. The assumption that he must do it one way or another is rooted in the fact that straight people think anyone queer owns them a coming out, owns them an explanation of their sexuality.

Also what is wrong with dating someone who likes you? Tommy is the first character who we genuinely see Buck seeking out. Abby sought Buck out, Ali was that weird meeting on call, Taylor again weird meeting on call-ish, same as Natalie.

Tommy isn't giving Buck attention, he wants to get to know him. Tommy likes Buck. Buck likes Tommy. They decide to try out dating. I truly do not get what is so hard to understand here. These are two adults who have meet, who are attracted to each other, who realised they want to get to know each other, who realised they liked who the other was. That's literally the best criteria for starting a relationship.

What is better? What is better than the set up that Buck and Tommy have? It's an honest, realistic approach to a healthy relationship. It's sweet.

Station 19 has literally such a problematic representation, I truly do not understand what is good about it and to pretend like it is good is lying. Both canon queer characters have literally cheated on their partners. Sure, you can say that one still ended up in a good relationship but like, do you all refuse to see the problem here? Not to mention that Travis can not have a good relationship to save his life.

If you truly somehow think that Buck's coming out is about either Eddie or Tommy, that the show is making it that way, then maybe you all can not be saved by media literacy, maybe you all should stop consuming content because nothing about Buck's realisation has been about that. What you are upset about is that Buddie isn't canon. That is all you are upset about. Eddie didn't lose a friend. He even admitted himself that he behaved badly as a friend to Buck. Tommy isn't fawning over Buck or abandoning Eddie. He literally made sure to explain that he wants to be friends with Eddie but that he isn't taking away Buck's friendship with him.

They made Buck bi. They offered him a realisation arc and a potential love interest that has been nothing but kind and understanding. To act like there isn't a good story here is really just being so focused on being bitter about a ship that you can not see the beautiful plot they opened up.

We also literally know Tommy! Tommy has been introduced multiple times before being a love interest. We have already seen a glimpse of his character long before we saw him as a love interest.

You all are judging a ship for lack of build up that was literally introduced a few episodes again, not even at the beginning of the season. How can you judge a ship for build up when you haven't even given the show runners time to build up the ship? Of course we won't get an epic love story yet because we literally just got introduced to the potential of Buck and Tommy as a love story.

How can you demand they tell a good story without even giving them time to tell a story? How can you talk about emotional payout when you haven't even given them time to explore the emotions?

We also don't know if there was a last minute change. Just because something was thrown out there as an idea doesn't mean it was ever in the script. There are so many characters that have been thrown around as potential couple but none ever made it out of the writers room.

If you think that Eddie and Tommy made more sense that is completely okay but they have probably had even less screen time then Buck and Tommy not to mention the fact that most of what we know of their friendship was actually overscreen.

I truly do not understand where this perspective of Tommy paying Buck attention or stroking his ego comes from when we have literally seen all of that from Buck's side. Buck went out of his way to get Tommy's attention, Buck went out of his way to compliment Tommy. Tommy merely recopirated after Buck made the first steps. Also to act like after all his growth Buck still needs to prove himself or become worthy is truly the most insane thing from all of this. Buck has proven himself both in relationships and on the job, he doesn't need someone to confirm that.

To judge Buck for acting like a guy with a crush when this is literally the first time he has been attracted to a guy, the first guy where he actually knew he was crushing on him, is also weird. Buck is acting like a younger version because he is basically entering his first relationship all over again in his mind. Is that so hard to understand? Obviously that isn't the actual reality but that is the reality for Buck right now.

I don't know, I truly think some of your points are just not justified or weird. That being said, obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion but please if you make a post that actually turns into character bashing can you all just please tag it like that so we don't have to see takes like these?

Here's the thing, I have nothing against Lou/Tommy, but the accessive enthusiasm of him returning and everyone already talking about him showing up for next season,

Which if any of you watched for the last 7 seasons, it is very possible because writers love to drag temps over to the next seasons because apparently breakups are for season beginners, mostly (except for taylor),

is very off-putting.

1. Because the dude literally just showed up and they haven't even had one worthy make out session to even call it a situationship.

2. Buck hurt Eddie physically to get into Tommy's mouth and pants, which ruined it for me from the start tbh and Tommy had nothing to do with it, he was just there.

3. Buck has made Maddie's day, his coming out party - that is a big NO in my book. Because one, dude you literally came out, what if you decide eventually that you don't want this or don't want this with this specific first-guy-ever anymore? And two SHE IS YOUR SISTER THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS HAVE HER LEAVE ON HER HONEYMOON BEFORE YOU KILL YOUR PARENTS OF A HEART- ATTACK.

Even if they "seem accepting" to Buck’s face, this takes time to process, something better revealed in time and in private, once one is sure. Not thinking and talking about this the whole wedding!

And yes, I know, Buck is impulsive, but think for a second, would you want your baby brother to hijacke your wedding after so long of planning it? I know I would have killed him.

Would have told him in advance that if he's bringing his new boyfriend to my wedding, he better tell our parents first. Because this is my fucking day!

I love Buck, but his self-centered personality rubs me the wrong way this season.

Maybe because I wanted to see him growing the fuck up after 7 years and so many traumas and experiences and therapy that he went through, but nope, same old Buck, only instead of the dating the girl who gave him attention, he's seeing the guy who gave him attention.

It's annoying, it's off putting and frankly I am so mad at the writers and Tim for this because these characters deserved better.

And don't talk to me about representation because Shonda did the bi representation in Station 19 perfectly to the point that I was bummed that Travis and Eli didn't end up as endgame even though I loved Emmett with Travis.

Again somehow the 911 writers managed to taint for me what should have been and amazing experience, independent completely of buddie, but no they managed to not only mix Eddie and Buck with Tommy, the whole thing came at the expense of Eddie, physically and mentally, because not only did Buck not apologized to Eddie, Eddie also lost his new friend who now fawns over Buck.

So screw this storyline, I hate it and I hate how everyone is OK with everything that happened in the story, just because Buck is doing a dude(kissing really, there was no doing yet).

There's a lot of blocking in my future, most are just ppl who either came in now because of bi Buck or those who came from other disappointing fandoms and are just here for the rep not the actual story.

But some of us have been here since S1, we want the rep, but we want it to be complimenting, we want to fall in love with the character before it turns into a LI, we want the emotion, the connection, the obvious love building over several years.

Like Casey and Gabby and Severide and Stella, like Maya and Carina, like Travis and Emmett (even though I liked Eli better for him) like Sullivan and Natasha.

I want an emotional payout, give up the surprises, and the wrecked trucks and ships, just tell a good story!

And for the love of all that's holy, enough with the last-minute changes, those never turn out well in the long run. They literally started from scratch when they made the switch between Eddie and Buck.

Also in my opinion, Eddie had a LOT more chemistry with Lou/Tommy than Buck. It would have made so much more sense, in the catholic guilt and internal homophobia department, the nun and supposedly commitment issues was weak at best.

It could have been epic. 😩

And yes, Buck could have started the season single, no harm in that, maybe make him, I don't know, actually growing into something that he would like without someone else to pet his ego? Go back to therapy, work for the LT. exams, be interim captain, realize his worth and learn to love himself for him, not because someone else gave him attention and that made him preen, get him somewhere worthy. Even lessons with Tommy without involving Eddie in this would have been great.

Just something that shows character development, because up until now all I get is S2/S3 Buck and I've seen that movie before, I want my money back.

I realize this is harsh, and normally, I would stick to the light and fun and ignore the rest, but this had to be said out loud so I can go back to that.

That being said, as I said, I will watch Madney wedding purely for Madney. Anything else is just a bonus. I can't wait for that bachelor party and see wth happens to Chimney.

Happy Monday, my loves. ❤️

[anarcoqueer1994]

So I wrote this and I'm pretty proud it. Some pre-serum 1930s Stucky, period accurate homophobia. If you like it I linked my ao3 for the other two chapters. Am I cringy? Probs but whateves

It is probably one of the coldest winters Bucky could remember. He was thankful that the end of the day was finally here. The biting temperatures were amplified by the air off of the cold water. More importantly though, going home meant he could go check on Steve, his tenement mate, and long-time best friend. Steve have come down with a bout of pneumonia a couple weeks back. He is still fighting to get his strength back, still breaking out in coughing fits and struggling to get around. His weak immune system made sure that it was not going to be easy to get over this. Honestly, Bucky hated that he had to leave him alone all day to work, but they needed the money to afford the rent, even if their tenement was too small and the heat wasn’t the best. So Bucky just spent the day going through the worse possible scenarios in his head. What if Steve got worse while he was away? What if Steve fell somewhere in the apartment because he is too stubborn to stay in bed, and now couldn’t get up? Was he laying their freezing not able to get back to his bed? What if he…dies because I am not there to help him? But now he could get home and check on Steve.

“James!’ Bucky turned around to hear Bill calling after, as he walking away for the day. Bill was another one of the grunt workers at dock. Nice enough guy, kind of rough. Probably his closest “work friend.” Bucky waits for him to catch up.

“Yea?” he says casually, trying not to show the impatience in his voice for the man that is unknowingly delaying him from getting to Steve.

“Want to go get a drink with some of the guys? Maybe we’ll run into some dames desperate enough for a good time to give your ugly mug a chance?” He wiggles his eye brows jokingly.

“No thanks, I’m good, actually.” Bucky replies, turning to leave.

“Oh come on, you never come out. Let loose a little, pal.” Bill pushes.

“I just need to get home…” Bucky responds, a little annoyed at this point because of the hold up.

“What’s the rush?”

“It’s just Steve is at home and he’s expecting me.” Bucky lies. Steve wouldn’t care if he went out. He would tell Bucky he deserves it. In actuality, he was too worried to go out and have fun, not when Steve was at home, miserable.

“Come on then, invite him out too. You guys can meet us at the bar.” Bill offers.

“Maybe another night, Steve is pretty sick. Getting over pneumonia.” Bucky goes to turn away again.

“Then why are you in a rush?” He laughs. “If he’s sick, he’s probably just laying down in bed. No need to babysit.”

Bucky ignores he question and just repeats, “Like I said, maybe another night.”

Bill lets out a little amused huff. “Interesting.”

His tone of voice gets the better of Bucky. “Interesting? What is that supposed to mean?” Bucky interrogates.

“Nothing, man. Forget about it.” Bill half-heartedly replies.

Bucky of course will not forget about it. “No, what did you mean?” His voice a little more irritated sounding then he intended.

Bill shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “It’s just some of the guys…”

“Some of the guys, what?” Bucky urges.

“Some of the guys say you’re a little funny, you know.” Many of the guys on the crew have grown up in the same neighborhood as Steve and Bucky and as such have known them, or at least seen them for a long time.

Bucky feels a sudden weight on his chest but does not let it show. “Funny how, Bill?” though he is terrified that he know what he means.

“You know, you and that roommate are pretty close and have been for a long time. Sometimes it just appears…” he hesitates, thinking about how to say it. “It appears like you treat him how you would treat a dame you were into. It just seems a little queer.” From behind Bill, he could see some of the guys eavesdropping. Some are smirking, and a few other are snickering. Some even are shooting disgusted looks at Bucky.

Bucky stops his face from faltering from the apathetic look he has put on. He replies loud enough for those assholes who are listening in to hear. “Well, I can assure you Bill, that Steve is my best friend, and that’s all, okay?” In reality, his heart is beating through his chest. Had it been that obvious that he liked Steve? How long have they been passing stories about this.

Bill cracks a smile and slaps Bucky on the shoulder. “Yeah, okay. I knew those guys had to wrong about you. Come out and join us later if you change your mind.” Bill gives Bucky the name of the bar they’ll be at, as he politely listens, not intending on changing his mind. As he leaves, he can tell a lot of the guys do not seem to believe him.

Walking home, Bucky was stuck in his head. He didn’t think people could tell how he felt about Steve. Did he act more like Steve’s fella than his friend? How could they tell? To be fair, he hadn’t been lying about Steve just being his friend. Just because Bucky was a little “light in the loafers”, did not mean that he feelings for Steve were requited. Steve was such a good guy and a model Catholic. No way was Steve into him the same way.

Probably for the best since guys liking other guys that way wasn’t looked on very favorably. The anti-sodomy laws made that clear. Plus, he didn’t particularly like the idea of having to get into fist fight with guys who may make a remark at him…or god forbid Steve.

He shakes his, getting himself out of his own thoughts. He didn’t want to think about these what ifs anymore. Maybe he would try harder to act less like a boyfriend to Steve and more like his super manly, non-homosexual, best friend. Its’s not like he didn’t like women, he just preferred Steve more. But he could be less doting. He didn’t need to babysit his best friend. Bill was right, Steve was probably just sleeping and didn’t need him. Maybe he would just stop at home, check in momentarily, and then take them up on his offer to drink with the guys. He hypes himself up in his head as he reaches the steps leading up to his door. These thoughts left his head as soon as he opened the door.

He could hear a pretty bad coughing fit from the bedroom. The place was freezing. The shitty radiator must be on the fritz. It was warmer than outside but not by much. It couldn’t be more than 40 degrees in that house, the paper-thin walls doing little to keep the heat in. Bucky makes his way to the little gas stove. The tenement was only 3 rooms, the front room that consisted of a little seating area and a modest kitchen (if you van call it that. It was a little sink and gas stove, with one cupboard), the bathroom (the only room with a door), and their share bedroom. He turns on the oven, and leaves it open so the heat could radiate through out the place. He discards his shoes and jacket in the front room. Then he quietly makes his way to the back bedroom, not knowing if the previous coughing fit indicated if he was a wake or not. If Steve was asleep, he didn’t want to wake him.

When he walks through the doorway to bedroom, his friend is huddled under some the blankets. He notices that Steve is still covered in his own blanket, as well Bucky’s blanket that he had laid on top of him this morning when he left for work. Steve’s face sticks out slightly even though he pulled the blanket over his head. He is definitely not feeling great. He is awake but kind of staring off in the distance. His usual pale features somehow look paler when punctuated with the dark circles under his eyes. Of course, he hasn’t slept well in a while, constantly being woken up in fits of coughing and wheezing. He hasn’t noticed that Bucky has walked in. There is no way Bucky can leave and go to the bar though after seeing this.

“Hey Stevie.” Bucky puts on a smile, knowing that Steve hates when Bucky stares at him like some pathetic sick thing. Steve looks up and for a moment it looks like a light entered his eyes that wasn’t there a moment ago. Bucky likes to think he did not imagine it and Steve genuinely lights up because of him. Probably wishful thinking but it’s a nice though.

“Hey Buck!” He tries to sound stronger than he felt. He hated making Bucky worry but he knew his friend, He inevitably is. He pushes himself up lamely to rest his back against the wall behind his mattress. He is still wrapped up in the blankets, still shivering faintly. “So how was work?” Steve asks, just kind of wanting to talk to Bucky. He would never admit it to Bucky, but he hated feeling alone all day while the other man was at work.

Bucky makes his way across the room, sitting on the little wooden stool by Steve’s bed so he could face his friend. His smile had disappeared momentarily when Bucky thought back to conversation he had right before leaving. But he recovers quicky to reply. “Nothing special. Cold as hell though. And this damn apartment is freezing, not making it any better.”

“Yea, I think the radiator is busted. Tried to tell the sup, but I couldn’t get out of bed. I’m sorry Buck.” He gives a sad smile. Times like this made Steve feel so useless, couldn’t even make sure the heat was working so Bucky was cold after working outside all day.

“No problem, pal. Tomorrow’s my day off. I’ll handle it.” Bucky smiles before realizing how sad Steve still looks. He leans over and puts his hand on Steve’s blanket covered shoulder. “Buddy, I promise it is not a big deal, you cannot help that you are sick.”

Steve sighs miserably. “Doesn’t mean, it doesn’t make me feel pretty worthless. For god sakes, look how pathetic I am. I have both blankets and am still shivering like some babe.” He averts his eyes to his lap, avoiding Bucky’s gaze.

This breaks Bucky’s heart, to hear how little Steve thinks about himself. Steve Rogers had the biggest heart out of everyone he knows. He has gotten into so many fights (that he could not win) just because he saw some in justice. Steve was the best person he has ever met so hearing this from him is difficult. “Stevie…” the familiar nickname instinctively causes Steve to look back at Bucky. “I hate to tell you this, bud, but you are wrong. You are pretty great and all this stuff about being worthless or pathetic, is bullshit.”

Steve lets out a nervous huff before quietly whispering “Thanks, Buck…”

“Anytime.” Bucky smiles back at him.

“But, umm hey Bucky…”

“Yeah?”

“Here...” Steve starts to shimmy out the outer blanket belonging to the slightly older man.

“Hey no…” Bucky puts up his hands to signal to stop. “You need that, it is freezing in here and you are sick.”

“Yea but we can’t have you getting sick, either Buck. You may not have my immune system but you can get still get sick.

“Steve.” Bucky says firmly. “I will not take that blanket from you.”

Steve sighs, sometimes Bucky can be as stubborn as he is. “Fine but I can’t have you freezing to death. Come up here. We can share the blanket,” Steve says it so matter-of-factly, like nothing he said was weird. And I guess it wasn’t it is not like they haven’t shared a bed before. Except, in light the conversation at work Bucky can’t help but to start to over think it. Luckily for him, Steve clears his throat to get Bucky’s attention when he notices him staring off. “Hey Buck…did you hear me? Come on, get up here.”

Bucky wants to get up there, god knows he does. To Steve it seemed to be a very practical thing, cold apartment, limited blankets, two bodies make more heat than one, etc. But to Bucky, it felt like so much more. He loved being that close to Steve. And that was his problem. Thinking fast he says “I should start supper. I’m going to heat up the stew for us that Mrs. Andrews dropped off yesterday.” Mrs. Andrews being the nice widow from upstairs.

“Oh…” Steve says before letting a smile come back to his face. If Bucky didn’t know any better, he would say Steve almost sounded disappointed. He did not allow himself to dwell on it too long. Instead, he quickly stands up and makes his way to the kitchen. He throws the small pot of stew on the stoves so he can warm it up.

After a few minutes, he hears Steve shuffle into the room. It really was much warmer in that since the oven, and now the stove, have been on. Steve takes a quiet seat at their modest table.

“You didn’t have to come out. I would have brought you dinner, Stevie.” Bucky says, eyes on the pot in front of him.

“S’okay, I needed to stretch my legs…” No sooner did he say that, did another coughing fit came on. It sounded almost painful, and Bucky could only imagine how raw Steve’s throat must feel. He made his was to his friend, carrying a handkerchief to help with the mess of snot and flem coming from the other man. He stops in front of his friend, crouching down to be on his level. Bucky patiently waits for it to pass before handing his friend the little piece of cloth.

“Thanks Buck…” Steve said almost like he was embarrassed. Bucky instinctively squeezes Steve’s knee reassuringly, before smiling softly and getting back up. He walks back to the pot on the stove. Okay, he thinks to himself. I may be a little too doting. What Bucky did not see when he turned around was Steve smiling at him.

The rest of dinner is uneventful, give or take a few coughs and shivers. When they finished eating, Bucky has to turn off the oven He doesn’t want to leave it on all night, doesn’t want to risk a fire. It is still pretty early in the evening, only about 7:30 but he can see Steve is exhausted.

Steve stands up, but momentarily loses his balance. Bucky, overreacting, stands up and catches Steve before the smaller man can even try to catch himself. They find themselves in a precarious situation. Steve is leaning is weight against Bucky’s chest, as Bucky’s arm is wrapped around the skinnier man’s waist. Bucky’s cheeks turn red as Steve stares curiously at him.

After what felt like years of silence, Bucky lets go of Steve, realizing his friend must be confused. “Uh sorry, thought you were going to fall.” Bucky nervously rubs the back of his neck.

Steve yawns and says “Thanks, I almost did.” He actually flashes bucky a warm smile that honest to god gave the brunette butterflies. Get it together, Barnes. He thinks to hisself, as he watches Steve walk away to their room. He follows noting the apartment temperature going down again.

When Bucky gets to the room, he finds that Steve has set his blanket on his bed. “I told you Stevie, you need this more than me.”

“Don’t be an idiot.” Steve says between shivers under his own blanket. “Can’t have you getting sick too. And you are being weird.”

“What do you mean by weird?” Bucky cocks his head to the side.

“Well, it would make more sense to share a bed, two blankets and two bodies would be warmer, and we have done it a thousand times. But ever since you got home from work, you seem off. So take your blanket, punk.” Steve stares at his bewildered friend.

Bucky hates that Steve is so observant. He hadn’t meant to be weird. But now his stubborn friend was going to freeze tonight because he refused to not let Bucky have a blanket. He lets out an exasperated sigh, plays up the drama of course. “Fine. You win. Sharing a bed it is.”

Steve beams at him. Bucky should of know Steve would win this out. With Bucky, Steve could have anything he wanted. He had to face it, he was wrapped around the younger man’s finger.

Bucky makes his way to a pile of books on the ground, grabbing his copy of The Hobbit, before stepping out of his pants, leaving him in a shirt and briefs. He takes the book and his blanket over to Steve’s bed. He scoots into bed with Steve, both men adjusting so that the blankets now cover of them, their bodies inevitably touching on the small, twin size bed. Bucky sets his book on the nightstand, knowing Steve will fall asleep first and he’ll probably do some reading.

Bucky suddenly freezes when he feels Steve lie his head on Bucky’s chest, his arm thrown over the other man’s abdomen. Bucky’s arms are currently under his own head. This is new. Usually, they only got in this position through accidental readjusting while they are sleeping. Stuff that Bucky could just brush off. But now an awake Steve Roger’s is cuddling with an awake Bucky Barnes. He hopes that Steve cannot feel his heart racing in his chest. He continues to look up at the ceiling, hoping to nullify the blush creeping up his face.

Steve doesn’t seem to notice the other man’s reaction, or if he does, he hides it well. He whispers “Is this okay? I’m really cold and I guess I am trying to steal your body heat.” Steve’s voice sounds shy, almost embarrassed.

Of course, when Steve puts it like that, how can Bucky say no? He internally scolds himself for reading more into it. He tries to let out a casual laugh, though it sounded way more choked then intended. He lamely jokes. “That’s why you were trying to get me into bed. To use me?” He finally looks down at his chest, trying to see if his friend laughs. Instead, he is met with questioning blue eyes, genuinely concerned if this was alright. Even with only the dim light of a small bedside lamp, he can’t help but notice how those eyes sparkle. Bucky lets out a small, controlled, sigh and quietly whispers, “Steal away, buddy.”

“Buck?” Steve’s voice sounding even smaller this time. Bucky can’t remember Steve sounding so nervous about anything. He begins to panic internally even as he tries to stay cool externally.

“Yea Stevie?”

“You can say no, okay?” Steve whispers nervously.

“Steve what is it?” His voice more audibly concerned this time.

“Will put your arms around me? I feel like I just can’t get warm.” The way Steve asks is heartbreaking to Bucky, like he was worried Bucky would be upset.

For the first time, Bucky notices that Steve is still shivering. He had been so wrapped up by the way he felt having the smaller man so physically intimate with him, that he didn’t realize that the cold really was getting to Steve. He can tell by the way Steve was acting, he was embarrassed to make these requests. He knows Steve could be a proud man and to be in the position where he had to be so vulnerable was probably hard for him. So Bucky didn’t want to make it a thing, where Steve would feel obligated to have to say more. This was obviously tough enough. So without a word, he wrapped one arm around Steve, as the other fell over his own chest so that he cook connected his hands, locking Steve in, and trying to pull him as close as possible, trying his hardest to warm his sick friend.

Steve didn’t say a word, just flashed a tiny appreciative smile. They laid there in silence for a while before he finally heard Steve’s breath steady in a way that indicated that sleep finally overtook him. Bucky frowned because even in his sleep, the other man’s breaths seemed labored and congested. He hated that this was Steve’s life, that he couldn’t fix this for him. But at least he could help him for tonight. Bucky would be content spending the rest of his life as Steve’s best friend, even if it broke his heart know he could never be with Steve the way he wanted to be. This could be enough.

~~~~

A few hours pass by. Bucky had fallen asleep a little bit ago, still with his arms wrapped around the blonde. It is around 1 am when Bucky is disturbed from his sleep. He had become alarmed when he realized that Steve was no longer beside him. He sits up and desperately looks around the dark room, unsuccessfully scanning for his friend. That’s when he spots the soft glow of candlelight through the doorway coming from the front room. He notices both blankets are still in bed with him, so he worries about the offending temperature in the other room where Steve must be.

He makes his way out of bed, wrapping one of the blankets over his shoulders, and walks to the front room. Luckily, he found when he got in there, that Steve had turned one the oven filling the tiny front room with warmth. He spotted Steve sitting on their tiny old couch, kind of staring off. Bucky clears his throat, but Steve doesn’t seem to notice, still lost in his thoughts.

So, Bucky steps a little closer, stopping when he is a few feet away from his friend. A candle sits on the little crate they use as side table, the dim light barely illuminating his friend’s face. “Hey, bud. Couldn’t sleep?” Bucky says softly.

Steve doesn’t bother looking up, just keeps staring a head. He mumbles. “Was woken…up by something. You can go back to bed.” Steve looks visibly shaken and Bucky was absolutely not going to be able to just go back to bed.

Bucky instead takes a seat next to his rigid friend. Something was definitely not right. The way that Steve was sitting so stiffly, his face was distorted into a broken frown. At this level, Bucky can also tell his friend had been crying, blood shot eyes lit a glow from the candle. “Steve…buddy what’s wrong?” Bucky instinctively goes to rest his hand on the other man’s boney knees. To his surprise, Steve pulls his knee away, repulsed, still not looking at him.

Fear flashed through Bucky’s head. Had he done something? Had something happened while they were sleeping. Had Steve realized the way Bucky looked at him was wrong. He was trying to panic but that seemed fruitless. “Stevie…did I do something wrong?” Bucky didn’t recognize the voice that came out of his mouth. It seemed so broken and pathetic.

Steve let out a pained sigh, before momentarily pressing the palms of his hands over his eyes, like he was forcing back tears. Finally, he turned and looked at Bucky. He sounded frail; his voice laced with sadness. “No Buck…never. You could never do anything wrong. Its me…I am the something wrong here.”

Bucky immediately got defensive, worry coating his words. “What are you talking about? You didn’t do anything wrong? Please tell me why you would say something like that?” He may have been a little louder than he intended, as he felt terrible as he watched Steve recoil at his tone. He lowers his voice before softly placing his hand back on Steve’s knee, this time the younger man letting it rest there. “I’m…I’m sorry for yelling, Stevie. Can you please just tell me what happened. I am sure you didn’t do anything wrong.”

He watches as a tear starts to well up in Steve’s eye again, as he obviously tries to will it to stop before it falls defiantly down his cheek. The dam is broken and Bucky watches helplessly as his best friend falls apart in front of him. Without thinking, he throws his arms around Steve pulls him into a hug. Steve buries his head in Bucky’s shoulder, repeatedly whispering “I’m sorry.” Bucky quietly shushes him, while running his hand over the back of Steve’s neck, trying to sooth his friend.

After what seemed like an eternity, Steve pulls away, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Bucky’s eyes are still riddled with worry, his eyebrows scrunched together trying to figure out what could be wrong. Steve whispers “I might as well show you; you will see eventually anyways.”

Bucky feels his chest tighten. What could be so bad that Steve would be this freaked out. He tentatively nods his head, preparing for whatever it could be.

“Buck?” Steve questions.

“Yea, buddy?” He replies automatically.

“Thank you for being my friend and …” There was a sad hesitation in his voice before he continues. “And I get it if you don’t want to be my friend anymore after tonight.”

That thought breaks Bucky’s heart in two. A choked breath escapes him. “Trust me…that’s not going to happen. “

Steve can only give a disbelieving, sad smile in reply. Bucky is now terrified at what could have caused this all.

Without saying a word, Steve picks up the candle and walks to the door that leads outside of their tenement. Bucky gets the idea that he should be following him. When Bucky catches up with him, he notices Steve’s hand shaking as he reaches for the doorknob. Bucky does not rush him, knowing that whatever this was, it was hard. Before long though, Steve opens the door and steps outside. Bucky follows close behind. For as cold as it was inside, the outside was colder. Steve didn’t even seem bothered though, too consumed with grief about something to care.

Steve stopped a few feet away from their door and turned back around to face it. For a moment, he thought he was turned around to face Bucky. Bucky starts “Why…why are we out here, Stevie? It is freezing.” Bucky still only in a shirt, underwear and a blanket. Steve had been a little better dress but not sufficiently enough. The only thing that left Steve’s mouth was. , “Look.” As he pointed behind Bucky at their door.

Bucky turned around and he felt like he got punched in the stomach. On the ground around him were a few broken glass bottles, but that wasn’t the issue. The pale light from the candle illuminated 7 angry red letters, painted sloppily in red on their door. Bucky reads the word out loud, simultaneously deflating with each syllable. “FAGGOTS.” He feels like his world is spinning. Did someone know…about him? Was this the guys at his job? Had to be, after the way they looked at him earlier, knowing he was lying. Worse yet, they are throwing Steve into this. Steve didn’t deserve to be taken down with him.

He was broken out of his thought by the weak voice coming from the man slightly behind him. “I…I was woken up by the sound of these guys laughing outside. They sounded drunk…and you know how much of a light sleeper I am. I thought they were going away but then it sounded like they were at the front door. They were still laughing and I heard glass breaking. You were out.” Bucky silently curses that he was such a heavy sleeper as he continues listening, eyes still fixed on the door. “So, I got out of bed to see what was going on. By the time I get to the door, they are running off, and one called me…this before disappearing down the steps. I tried to go after them.”

“Of course, you did…” Bucky replies, not processing it all.

“Yea, well it was too icy and I am too sick, so I couldn’t catch up to them. When I turned to go back inside, I seen this. And…and I am so sorry Buck.” Steve’s voice crumbles, sounding pathetic and sad, and full of hurt.

That’s when Bucky finally turns to face Steve. “Sorry? Sorry for what? None of this is your fault.” His voice is soft, only focusing on his hurting friend, ignoring his own hurt and panic.

Steve lets out a sniffle, Bucky unsure if from the cold or from fresh tears. “That’s where you are wrong. They did this because of me…”

“What are you talking about?” Bucky stares in confusion.

“These guys…they must have found out…found out that I …I am one.” Steve looks to the ground, terrified of Bucky’s reaction. Tears falling to the frozen ground, his skinny body shaking.

Bucky is overwhelmed with emotions. The most prominent of these emotions though was sadness for his hurting friend. Understanding the irony, he was still heartbroken that Steve thought he had to keep this his dirty little secret. This is why Steve thought they wouldn’t be friend anymore. He was lost for words but needed Steve to know that He was there for the long haul and this wasn’t going to change anything. For the second time this evening, he found himself pulling the younger man into a hug, the candle dropping, putting itself out. “s’okay Stevie…it’s okay. I promise…” He keeps repeating as his arms threaten to never let go of Steve again.

After a few moments though, he noticed the blonde shivering. It was still the middle of winter after all. Without saying another word, Bucky pulled away from the hug(reluctantly) before grabbing his hand and dragging him inside. He drags him to the bedroom where the warm bed wait, Steve not putting up much of a fight. When they get to the room though, Steve pulls his hand away and quickly makes his way to his bed. When Bucky makes his way to Steve’s bed, Steve puts up his hands to make the other man stop in his tracks.

“Buck, thank you for not kicking my ass.” Bucky puts on a hurt look, not believing that Steve actually thought he would. Steve explains himself. “Most guys would have knocked someone out if they found out their best friend was a fairy. So, um, thank you for not doing that.” Steve nervously puts his hand on the back of his neck before continuing. “But you don’t have to lay with me anymore. I get that can be weird now knowing…” Steve still refuses to meet his eyes.

Bucky lets out a huff. He can’t let Steve sit here and feel like he is alone. After what Steve confessed, he thought it was only fair. Ignoring, Steve’s protests, Bucky walks to the bed and sits on the edge, facing Steve. The streetlight out the window dully lighting their faces. He rests his hands on his own thighs, suddenly clammy despite the freezing temperatures. He says “I know…” He stutters “I know… who did this.”

“Who?” Steve sounds surprised despite himself.

“Some guys from the job.” Bucky says sadly.

“Why would they do that?” The smaller man responded, confused.

“Today…they asked me if I was that way you know? They thought that I treated you differently then how a guy should treat his friend.”

“Oh…” is all that escapes Steve’s mouth, Bucky watching an “O” form on the other’s lips.

“I…um of course…told them they were wrong but I guess they didn’t believe me. I’m sorry Steve. I guess…um…” Bucky stops, unsure if he wanted to finish.

“You guess what?” Steve asks, curiosity getting the best of him as he finally locks eyes with Bucky.

“I guess I was too obvious, Stevie. Look, I…I don’t know if I am that way. All I know is that I only got eyes for one person and that person is a fella.” Bucky’s face turning pink with the admission.

Steve stares, visibly confused, unsure exactly what Bucky is getting at. He dumbly asks “Who?”

Bucky gives an uncomfortable laugh, obviously apprehensive. “Are you that oblivious, pal? You…Stevie.” As the other man’s name slips from his mouth, he finds himself trying to look anywhere to avoid the gaze of the blue eyes staring into him.

All Steve manages to choke out is “Really?” His voice sound apprehensive and shy But to Bucky’s surprise, it also sounded hopeful. Yea, he already knew Steve was queer but that did not mean that he automatically like Bucky back. But maybe…he did?

It was this hopefulness that gave Bucky the courage to look back at Steve, his own light eyes staring into Steve’s. He can tell his friend was blushing hard, It was adorable, and pretty impressive for someone who was so pale moments ago. Without thinking about it, Bucky reaches his hand across the bed, and rests it on Steve’s shoulder, still safe in the platonic zone if they wanted to turn back. He whispers almost too quietly for Steve to hear. “Yea…really. You know how much I love you, Stevie, Always have. And for a long time, I thought that love was just because you were my best friend, you know? But overtime, I came to accept that the love I felt for you went way beyond that of a friend, even a close friend.” He looks down before looking back up, sporting a small mischievous grin. “Plus, I think you are really fucking hot.”

Steve somehow manages to blush eve harder, Though he was blushing, Steve was never one to back down from something he wanted. With the knowledge that his best friend was just as into him as he is to him, He scoops forward down the bed, so he very close to Bucky. Bucky’s hand had made its way off Steve’s shoulder, to now gently rest on his hip. He moves his head close to Bucky’s. The older man could feel Steve’s breathe on his face as he replies with a nervous smile “Good, because I’ve had eyes for you since were teenagers. I always got jealous when I seen you with a random skirt instead of me.”

Now Bucky was turning as pink as Steve, red hues covering his face and ears. He made Steve jealous?! He couldn’t believe it. Steve really wanted him. He takes his free hand and moves it to the back of Steve’s neck, wanting so bad to kiss him. He whispers “Can I kiss you?” It sounds so silly coming out of his mouth but he doesn’t want to push Steve.

Unfortunately, to his dismay, Steve says “No, Buck…”

Bucky looks down, suddenly feeling defeated. Had he read the signs wrong. Was Steve admitting he loved him too but did not want to pursue such a risky relationship. His head began to spin as he pulled away. “Oh, I/m sorry.”

Steve lets out a little laugh, grabbing his hand as he went to pull away. “I said no because I am still sick, jerk. Trust me I want to kiss you.” Bucky can’t help but laugh at himself too. Steve continues, “But I would like you to stay in bed with me tonight, if that is still okay."

“Of course, it is...anything for you.” He beams.

A few minutes later, they were laying down, Steve’s head on Bucky’s chest like earlier. Except it wasn’t just like earlier. The action was the same but the feelings were different. Earlier, there was tense atmosphere of secrets they were both hiding. But now it felt like it should have always been like this. Like they were complete more complete. Something that had always been there could thrive. Bucky lazily runs his fingers through Steve’s hair as they begin to drift back to sleep. “Buck?” Steve sleepily asks.

“Yea?”

“So you are my best fella now, right?”

Bucky chuckles to himself that Steve would even worry enough to ask. “Right, Stevie.” only getting a soft okay in response. Bucky lays there, waiting for Steve to fall asleep first. Thoughts run through his head, uncertainties about what to do tomorrow about those asshole, and how this is all going to work. But the one thing he doesn’t worry about is the fact that Steve is his and he is Steve’s

Other two chapters, poorly written smut in the second half of chapter 3.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30749381/chapters/75892694#workskin

[bluesclves]

Are you referring to Mackie stating he’s trying to portray men sensitive side and calling out people who associate two men hanging out as being gay? People are calling him homophobic....how?! People have to understand they are not the only people who have something needing to be represented. I’m laughing at people, not you who called Mackie homophobic because they mad Sam and buck aren’t a couple. Mackie has play gay characters to the fullest extent so why would someone who’s “homophobic” do that? Sorry to rant on your blog love, I was in his hashtag and saw hate and then of course there’s racism among the mix.

Okay, so I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume you just want an actual explanation for why I personally (and I'm sure a lot of other people too) am upset by the interview.

Here's the Twitter thread with links to the article in question for reference:

https://twitter.com/Variety/status/1405601621732577280?s=19

I'm gonna start by saying I don't think Anthony Mackie is Homophobic. I haven't called him that, and I won't, because I don't believe that he is. I do think he should have just left his answer at "I don't get involved in the Fandom stuff", and not tried to explain any further than that, because he really dug himself a hole and kept digging throughout that whole speech.

I also don't really think he's an ally. I think he wanted to come off as an ally, and either he's just really confused, or has no idea/does not care what the lgbt community wants in terms of representation.

(And before anyone calls me a racist, I am absolutely still mad at Chris Pratt and Chris Evans and Jenson Ackles for saying things like this and worse. I wasn't really the type to make posts or participate in conversations in Fandom back when they each said their shit, but I remember it, and I'm bringing it up now because they absolutely deserve to be remembered. They built up this foundation of Actors discussing slash fiction/fanart and being shitty to their queer audience about it, and having no repercussions for it. They shouldn't get a pass, especially real homophobes like Chris Pratt.)

(Anthony Mackie wouldn't think it's fine/normal to say this stuff if the white men before him had been held accountable for their statements, and that's all I'm gonna say as far as race goes.)

The problem I have with what Mackie said is that he's very dismissive of the problem that is lacking Gay Representation. He uses an excuse that homophobes have long been using against Gay Representation, saying that "It used to be guys can be friends, we can hang out, and it was cool...You can't do that anymore, because something as pure and beautiful as homosexuality has been exploited by people who are trying to rationalize themselves,” (Anthony Mackie via Variety Magazine 2021).

The problem with this is that is frames the desire for gay representation as encroaching on straight men's right to have platonic friendships. Which, it doesn't. Slash fiction/fanart exists because of a lack of gay representation in media. Fan creations lean far more towards queer/non-heteronormative-conforming relationships because we don't see ourselves represented in the media we consume. So, at a lack for representation in media, we create our own representation.

So if the gay representation doesn't exist in mainstream media (or is only baited *cough*destiel*cough*) how can it possibly be encroaching on heteronormative relationships?

The answer is it's not. But homophobes want to use that excuse to call queer creators "gross" and "oppressive" when we see the potential for gay rep in (yet another) 'just close bros' male friendship. They don't want the gays 'contaminating' their cishet masculinity.

And again, I'm not calling Anthony Mackie a homophobe. I think he means well, especially given the rest of his interview. I also think he's parroting back homophobic rhetoric that he's heard from actual homophobes, not realizing how demeaning and harmful it can be. It's hard to tell sometimes-- homophobes have gotten really good at phrasing their rhetoric in a way that doesn't seem so blatantly bad as it is. Everyone makes mistakes, and I'm more than willing to give Mackie the benefit of the doubt here. I don't think he's homophobic, just... misguided.

That doesn't mean he shouldn't be called out on it. (And I think we all enjoy poking fun at the dumb shit people say, it sure helps take the edge off the crushing disappointment I feel every time I see this rhetoric pops up.)

So, yeah. That's my two cents on this.

TL;DR: I'm mad about the Variety Interview, but I'm willing to forgive Mackie on this if he realizes why what he said was a bad take, and corrects himself/apologizes. I'm certainly a whole lot more willing to forgive Mackie than I am Crisp Ratt (known homophobe and all around terrible person) or even Jensen Ackles (dude literally treated destiel fans like freaks for years).

[god-i-hope-so]

Welcome in this... hectic fandom haha

So, gay/queer Eddie. There are several things about that and what canon could be.

First, nothing official is made so that Eddie becomes queer. And by that I mean there's no indication that the writers or Ryan want to go that way at this point of the show. Ryan himself recently said that Eddie was heterosexual, and that his friendship with Buck, now that he's openly queer, is even more important.

Then we also have to take a look at the story, the storylines and the characters we already have. There's not a lot of main characters. At the 118, there's Bobby, Buck, Chim, Hen and Eddie (sorry Ravi, you're not main yet). Hen is a lesbian and Buck is now officially bisexual. From a writer point of view, making Eddie queer would be overkill. There's no canon storyline supporting that.

Hen was always a lesbian in the story. Buck showed hints of queerness very early in the show. This is not a sudden realization. He had a storyline supporting this character development.

Eddie could also have one, but it'd take some time, and again, why? What would be the purpose when he's already a rich character with so many things to explore? His Catholic guilt doesn't have to be about his hidden queerness. His friendship with Buck doesn't have to hide or awaken his queerness. We love representation, but what we love more is good representation, not a cheap writer trick to turn any character into the new token queer.

And I say that as someone who clearly saw Buddie as being a thing during season 2. They could have done something back then and build a story around that. The show was new, the character didn't have the development they have now, it could have worked and the doubt lasted for a time. But now after 7 seasons... I won't say it's absolutely impossible but that would be strange. Season 7 showed Eddie being very supportive of Buck's relationship with Tommy, without a hint of jealousy, without anything between the lines. Unless you want to see what you want to see. Eddie was the one to push Buck to call Tommy back. "Call Tommy!". Who'd say that if they were jealous? Eddie could have easily say "too bad for him, maybe you dodge a bullet, you'll find someone better" or whatever that would have diverted Buck from going back to Tommy. But he did not because he loves his best friend and wants him to be happy. Because there's no jealousy, no "go train your ass on Tommy so you can be ready for me later" said between the lines.

Now, I'm for anyone to ship anything. I'm from the pro-ship school so you know, you do you. But when it comes to canon, there isn't 150 answers. We can have our own hopes and speculations of course, and it's fun because we don't know. But right now, the creative minds working on the show are not making Eddie queer.

BUT. If it were to happen... the shippers wouldn't settle for the queer friends. The goal is to have Eddie queer with Buck. The headcanon is not about Eddie being queer on his own. It's about him and Buck. So a queer friendship between Eddie and Buck would be very unwelcome by the shippers, that's for sure. And it's understandable after all this time pushing for having their ship be canon.

I'm not a Buddie shipper so maybe one with an open mind would give you a different answer but without the shipper bias, this is how things are now. I know many of them have a lot of theories based on how they read the show but facts are facts.

I hope you find your fun in this fandom, ship what you want, there's a lot to play with! Just make sure to stay away from the toxicity, whatever its source ✨️

So I am new to the 911 fandom and followed Bucktommy & Buddie within seconds of each other (was trying to keep myself open) so I see a lot come across my dash. Now Buddie fans are talking like gay Eddie is canon and for sure will be coming out season 8.

So there I am at my local park in arguably the most 🌈 city in the world, San Francisco, talking to my friends. And as we say hello & goodbye, hugs are exchanged and often kisses because affection is displayed differently than heteronormative relationships. So I was wondering what if Eddie does come out as gay BUT still stays in a supportive best-friendship with Buck. Because not every gay relationship no matter how close you are will automatically equal romance. What would happen then? How would people feel if they stayed friends even if Eddie realized his sexuality?

I feel uncomfortable asking this of the 100% Buddie at the moment because to be frank they are kinda intense at the moment due to their disappointment, and I fear the flames of unhappiness throwing out this scenario. So I am asking my Bucktommy peeps. 😅

[ellelans]

You made a tag comment about how Buddie wasn't planned from the beginning. And therefore what we got in Season 2 wasn't (at the time) the groundwork for a love story. I agree completely! Much of it I can see as either a bit of fun (the Christmas elf, the instagram girl) or that kind of hyper-masc heterosexuality that loops around itself and becomes gay (Buck's whole...thing with Eddie in the beginning, the focus on Eddie's body/hotness/physical appearance). But sometimes I step back and look at the whole and I'm all 🧐 🤔.

I don't even know what I'm asking lol. Would just love your thoughts/feelings on the confusing spectacle that are Buck and Eddie in season 2. And when/how/why did the show change their mind?

Thank you so much for the ask and you know what? Let’s talk about it.I recently had an in depth chat about this pretty unpopular opinion with a friend and I tried to explain to her why I don't see buddie as an actual pairing or having any canon potential until early s3 and why I don't believe they were planned from the beginning.This will be long and all over the place of course lol

The first and the most obvious reason is the way 911 deals with main characters and their romantic arcs.They don't actually drag it on for long because there is no need or time for that since every single main character has a strong storyline of their own and any romantic development between any pair as an additional combined storyline. Relationships happen fast on 911 because they are planned ahead and the only relationship that took longer than usual few episodes was Chim and Maddie and they were already kissing and planning a date in 2x11.

Also when shows enter their second season there is never a way to predict how long it will stay on the air and because of that it is impossible for me to believe that buddie was planned as some epic old school slowburn that is nowhere as close to be resolved after 3 seasons.When I say old school slowburn I mean shows that have this one heterosexual romance at the center of the universe that is usually stretched across seasons and builds up sexual tension between characters and it takes literally years for them to finally get together.We have these two characters that where made for each other and you KNOW that they will eventually get together because of some ridiculous pining that will eventually end in a kiss and everyone will scream and cry.And maybe that’s how buddie feels to me now after years of careful build up-but the way I see it they as a potential something didn't happen in s2.

We all joke about how character introduction of Eddie is the gayest we have ever seen and Buck's reaction to him as true bisexual and I do that myself too because I am a bisexual too and tbh its hard to unsee (also I don't want to) but lets remove our rainbow glasses for a second. What really did happened in that scene? Eddie's perfect abs on display,Chim and Hen fun comments on how beautiful he is,Bobby's praise and bragging about getting Eddie and his Silver Star on the team and Buck's insecurities flaring up as a reaction to all of this.Buck immediately feels threatened.At this point we of course have no idea how deeply his insecurities run or why,but as episode progresses we witness Eddie on his first call making a better decision to how to handle a medical situation and backed up by Bobby.It has sort of a devastating effect on Buck,who suddenly starts acting like we have never seen him before.Then there is a that scene at the gym where Buck tells Eddie how he is his problem. And later we of course have the scene in ambulance when Eddie asked what exactly they are measuring. Because that's what it looked like - a usual macho men measuring context. But the thing is 911 doesn’t toxic masculinity when it comes to main male characters and we saw many examples of that already by then,but the biggest one was supposed to be BuckandEddie. Equals,partners and best friends.

911 was already pushing boundaries with cast,characters and relationships diversity and I strongly believe that what they wanted to show us was a male equivalent of what we are used to see in female bffs -a different kind of a friendship between men. Men who care about each other,who talk about feelings,discuss sex,dating or why they don’t,who again openly acknowledge that they find each other attractive and giving advices on how to take a more flattering selfie,who are not afraid of crying, admit they are struggling or heartbroken or loving their kid.Honestly when was the last time any of us saw a male friendship like theirs?Men are not allowed to be like that on TV (I am still shocked that its a Fox show tbh) and especially with each other.We are not used to see such a development so no wonder people started paying attention-which was what writers wanted,of course.

But that also brings us to that important question about queer undertones,subtext and do what we actually see in s2. Are there queer undertones?Absolutely. Subtext?It’s right there but you will probably not get it unless you’re reading between the lines.Before we get to Christmas Elf,there was ‘’He is cute!/He gets that a lot,you should’ve seen his kid...’’ Maddie and Buck scene that is once again reinforces that Buck finds Eddie attractive and it shouldn’t be a surprise because we already know from 2x01 he has eyes - but they mention it AGAIN and that personally made me raise a brow or two.By the time we get to that Christmas episode,we already have Shannon back and Buck finally moved on from Abby with Taylor and then Ali and then we are given another queer coded scene-with Christmas elf.And its very cute and to an average heterosexual viewer its a nice little joke,but any queer watching that scene was probably taken aback a little.

So why imo did Tim&Co do it and when they realized they can actually see where they can take BuckandEddie and when they started becoming buddie?My answer is ship teasing.It’s what a lot of people actually mistake for queer baiting,but we are not talking about that rn.Ship teasing works like charm and if shows can get away with that-they will totally use it to their advantage.It’s usually not always malicious,but it IS always intentional because that brings in a category of people that were overlooked for a long time-online fandom.Now I have seen some opinions that fandom doesn’t really matter,it’s the ratings that count and that is NOT TRUE.You can have your ratings,but if there is no buzz online?Your show is going nowhere.For at least a decade now every self-respecting production has teams to monitor fandom activities because it gives them better ideas about how consumers(fans) are interacting with their product (show).Fandom is important because we generate the buzz.So I do believe that BuckandEddie and that sweet ship teasing were to get a certain part of the fandom pay attention.

I wasn’t here when S2 aired so I don’t know if that was the case,but it is obvious that these scenes I talked about above made fans pay a LOT of attention. And maybe that was the reaction writers needed to start changing course from ship teasing to start building up to something else.They maybe didn’t plan it at the very beginning and on paper,but lets also not forget the insane chemistry between Oilver and Ryan,which imo is another big reason-it's impossible to ignore.

Because S3?Is light years away from S2 in terms of BuckandEddie-they became buddie.In s3 Buck and Eddie become each other’s significant other,they are in a primary relationship. ’’Buck invites Eddie...’’?!!!!! It is not yet romantic and probably won’t be until ending of s5 if we are lucky-but it is in your face,they are not subtle anymore.I personally saw buddie only at the end of 3x03 when Eddie came over and said that there is noone in the world he trusts with his son more than Buck, looking like he did into Buck’s eyes,while ‘Photograph’ played in the background right before Buck’s overvoice about being seen and found and a raft to bring one home. After S4 ending tho...we all know that something is about to happen and its like there is electricity in the air as we are waiting for s5!

Probably a lot more thoughts than you expected,but I have many feelings about these two and when buddie goes canon this post will become completely irrelevant lol 💖