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faaun · 5 months

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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months #to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them #in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought #i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are #and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it #its worth missing i think #i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over #(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think #i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat #they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand #how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much #i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around #something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode #arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully #last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing #and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets #and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably #have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused #blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like #i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much #my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to #music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads #i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says #what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.

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paul-simon-juggling · 1 year

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🍃 Spot the difference 🍂

#frog and toad were my favourite books as a kid so this makes sense now #i know this has been said before but im here to say it again #they dress exactly the same #they do just have the energy of little woodland creatures who sing little songs all day #whoever picked art to sing Bright Eyes for Watership Down was so correct #did anyone else come thru the watership down to simon and garfunkel pipeline?#ill tell that story in a seperate post cos its funny #anyway #them #simon and garfunkel #paul simon #art garfunkel #simon & garfunkel #s&g #frog and toad #arnold label

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legend-had-it · 3 months

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when one piece ends i want all of them to have a permanent home on the all blue

like they can come and go as they please but they usually stay on sanjis restaurant on the all blue going on adventures together for the rest of their lives

#ive said this before #ill say it again #if they go more than 2 years without seeing eachother they start disintigrating into dust #bro thats family #theyre the family of ever #do not seperate #i want them to help robin find out everything about history #i want them to travel all of the blues with nami so she can finish her map of the whole world #iwantzoroandsanjitogemarried #who said that #i want them to pick up vivi #i want them to go through the islands that they didnt go through on their first way across the grand line #i want them to see the baratie again i want to see syrup village again i want #i want frobin to be married #i want the strawhats to live the rest of their lives happy and together #okay im done jesus fuck #one piece #op #one piece thoughts #im not tagging all of them #mugiwara crew #straw hat pirates #straw hat crew #mugiwara no ichimi

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pupkou · 3 months

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i’m literally going to **** ******

#i’ve been without T for a month or so because my doctor forgot to prescribe it again when my last prescription period was over bc she could #only prescribe it a year at a time. so i went in to do bloodwork because ive been having health problems like getting a light period and #PMDD a year and a half into being on T and it happened to be when she was supposed to represcribe which iwas like ok nice!#but she forgot to represcribe it so I was 2 weeks without it before I realized that hmm something probably happened #so I called her and she fixed it. then the pharmacy told me that they're out of stock. so I called them to find out when it'd be in stock.#then they said it's in stock but she prescribed me the 10mL bottle when my insurance doesn't cover that. so I called her again to fix that.#and she said that she didn't prescribe me that because why would she when my shots aren't even close to 1 mL? so I called the pharmacy #and they said yeah idk who said that it's wrong. your T will be ready later today. I go to pick it up and quite literally the moment I pull #up to the window the pharmacists pull down the shade that says they're closed on lunch. so ive had horrible mental health and physical symp #oms for the past month because I've been without t right? so I thought okay when I come back home from moving out of my apt #because my pharmacy is in my hometown; then ill get my T. and then once I get my T I can start my new medication because I want my levels t #stabilize before we introduce something new into the ecosystem. and im cleaning my apartment today and going through bags and shit and lo a #behold? there are four fucking boxes of T sitting in a bag in my closet JUST LIKE I THOUGHT! I JUST COULD NOT FIND THEM so ive been going #through hell for fucking nothing. for literally nothing. and I was like oh my god okay I have my T I should go and pick up my new medicatio #and I go to get my shoes on and look at the clock and it's 5:01. they close at 5.#and I have my appointment with my psychiatrist on Wednesday where shes going to ask me how it's been starting my medication and im going to #have to tell her I havent started and im not better at all and im so new to her im nervous what she will say. sorry for being crazy. im not #good at this or medication. sorry. do you want me to kill myself ill do it in front of you if that would help. AUGHHHHGHHGHGHHHHHHHHHHGGHGH #NONE OF THIS HAD TO HAPPEN. I JUST HAVE SO MUCH SHIT IN MY APARTMENT BECAUSE ITS SO SMALL THAT I COULD NOT FIND PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION #I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME OUTTTTTT (in my brain)

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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months

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Various images of things

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. PIBBINS.... cheering clapping hooting hollering glorious applause everytime I see a pigeon in public #2. Birthday card that I drew for someone. .. kittys...#3. 2023's annual haul of tiny white pumpkins.. i get at least one white pumpkin every year around fall when they have pumpkins in stores #because I just love the color and texture ... bright white and smooth and cold and round.. kind of like a volleyball or something #4. A brief adventure into watching big brother (only earlier seasons of course as I hate all reality shows post like 2013 or something when #they became overly focused on social media and overproduced memeable phrases more.. like even though ALL reality shows have always #been extremely fake and annoying and mindless it's like..... newer stuff seems A Different Kind Of Fake or something) since whenever #I'm sick sometimes I find weird mindless things like that to watch (that one time I had bronchitis I watched all of Flavor of Love in my #half awake illness stupor and now everytime I heat up canned minestrone soup (mostly all I ate that week) I think of flavor flav since #thats just a weird brain connection I have now lol) ANYWAY.. I was sick and watched like 2 seasons of this and then thought it was too #uninteresting and obnoxious to continue (more like 1 and a half since I skipped the rest of one once only boring people were left) BUT this #one guy had a very mischevious looking face and he also said a few things (like the above captioned speech) that sounded like dialogue #some fantasy character would say.. so I took a screencap of him and edited him into a mischevious wizard i guess.?? idk I was sick lol #~your little friend has a poisoned tongue~ is just a very unexpectedly serious sounding wording for some random normal #frat dude looking guy to say while casually chatting on a reality tv show in like 2008 or whenever that was filmed lol #5. FLUFFY CLOVERS!! I'd never seen them be furry and soft before?? inchresting..#6. Noodle sitting in bed with the cat figurines looming above him... the council of kittys...#7. McDonald's full breakfast platter + asparagus + strawberries & cream (also of course this is old and I am now boycotting mcdonalds etc)#i try to group the images somewhat consistently like.. winter stuff with winter stuff or summer stuff with summer stuff #but I have so many random pictrues floating around on my computer that I never post that sometimes some are not organized or just #thrown into a set because there's nowhere else for them. Like the pigeon picture is from like 3 years ago for example lol #8 & 9 - I think I've posted these before but I just find them very interesting looking flowers. whenever they happen to be blooming #I'll pick up a few when I'm out on walks or etc. ... poof ball looking things #photo diary

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olisephaa · 6 months

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Honestly, being a nice chatter in League is so funny. I got autofilled into jungle against an enemy team with mastery points in the millions. Died due to invades twice times in the first minute and a half. Wrote "I just wanna play my skin T_T" and overall joked about my complete inability to do ANYTHING that game.

the enemy viego felt so bad for me he promised not to kill me anymore, and at the very end he just stood in front of our open nexus, giving me advice on how jungle works, what to pay attention to etc, wishing me luck and to enjoy the skin. I was truly so pitiful they didn't end the game to give the sad wet little support main in jungle advice. It was absolutely hysterical.

#I'm not joking I did less than 800 damage. Not 800k. 800. That entire game. I ended 0/10/1 #Genuinely the worst game I ever had. I had a lot better games in jungle before (all two of them lmao) but this one was just impossible #I was in slight hysterics by minute 10 bc I really just. Couldn't do shit. My jungle was cleared by viego #One lane losing two struggling #I go anywhere and get picked off. Having the viego write 'hey kayn I'm starting to feel bad' was so funny #His advice was super useful actually. Even my friends said 'oh shit I didn't even know that' abt jungle camp Cs stuff #It was really sweet #In the meantime the rest of our teams realized a bunch speak German so they talked about Döner prices lmao #Super wholesome game despite. The everything #Also I always write gl hf :D beforehqnd and that makes people sooo much more approachable #Some people are dicks but that never stops me #Most of the time they get clowned on by their own team real quick for being an asshole for no reason #My friends are continually baffled by my chipper attitude towards league chat lmao. I just report the actual bigots immediately #Anyway. I think ill stick to support and midlane images still #Hwei my beloved. Seraphine my beloved #league of legends #Personal

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pocketramblr · 2 years

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#sorry i tried to pick the bangery est of them #SOS and when all is said and done and gimme gimme gimme are fun yes #but i dont think they are top ten #tho i'll admit to a lil dramamtic 'slipping thru my fingers' renditions in the shower #poll #ill do one for mamma mia 2 too

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the-trans-dragon · 1 year

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I need a doctor who has the patience, experience, humor, and directness to listen to whatever new treatment ideas I've concocted, and then either say "Alex, that's a stupid fucking idea, let me explain why," or "The risks are acceptable in my professional opinion. Let's go over pros and cons and then you can think about it and decide what to do."

I just think it would be fun. For me. And I wish I could find a doctor who would also find that fun. I already came up with one fun Treatment for an Illness and have been successfully using it to treat The Illness for almost a YEAR, and all the side effects are awesome so like...I am certainly full of hubris at this point.

#i dont wanna say what i take or what im treating bc its like...well...zero doctors recommended it lol. and two doctors said “that might work #but uhhhhh i dont think im the right doctor for that.“ wait. three doctors said that. but i asked the third doctor ”pwease. youre the third #doctor to tell me to go to a different doctor. i need help.“ (i was fucking desperate. i was missing so many days of work that i basically #lost an entire paycheck's worth of money in two months and like. i had also SPENT that much on the doctors who inevitably ran out of their #own ideas and then recommended i go elsewwhwre to try my idea WHICH IS FAIR but also all 3 doctors did agree it was worth a shot so like....#i kinda needed ONE of them to actually. try it. it just took 6 months for the first one to run out of ideas and then another two or three #months to get in to see my genderal physician and then see a doctor he recommended who then recommended i go elsewhere and thats the doctor #who i was like “youre the third doctor to say that...i dont know who else to try.” goodness im glad she helped. my medicine is like $15 a #month (it was $10 when i had insurance) and i am in love with every single “side effect” and!!!! yea it has given me a large sum of hubris.#anyways.) i wanna do that again but with my other Significantly Disabling Illness. like why not lol. im already on 3 medicines that are #recommended to *not* take together (none of which are the medicine i chose to take aldjskds) so like.............seems like we #are at a “just try shit out and see what happens” stage. doctors should send me resumes and ill pick the one that looks most fun and then #we will do fun science together on my nerves system :) itll be fine lol. am i serious or kidding? i have no idea.#sorenhoots

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acaesic · 8 months

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goodnight i am thinking about dallon weekes <3

#THINKING ABOUT THE CONCERT IM GOING TO IN APRIL! (FIRE EMOJI) (BEING ON PC SUCKS)#OUUUGGHHHHJ IM SI HAPPY #IM GONNA GET THE BEST VIDEOS AND DALLON IS GONNA WEAR THE SILLIEST AND PRETTIEST OUTFIT #AND IM GONNA BE THERE #AND THEYRE GONNA SING AND DANCE TO SO MANY GLOOM DIVISION SONGS AND IM GONNA LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM #AND IM GONNA CHERISH THE VIDEOS WITH MY LIFE AND LULL MYSELF TO SLEEP WITH THEM AND SHARE THEM WITH YOU ALL AND ILL #DOCUMENT EVERY LIVE INSANE THOUGHT I HAVE BEFORE AND AFTER THE CONCERT AND ILL SHARE SO MANY PICTURES AND ITLL BE SO COOOOOOOLLL!!!!!!!!!!#AND MAYBE. I MIGHT PICK UP A NEW MERCH ITEM IDK...#WAAGHGHHH IM JUST SO EXCITED TO SEE DALLON AGAIN <333333333333333333333 #dallon weekes #idkhow #chase said something alright

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nicepersondisorder · 8 months

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sometimes wearing pride pins on my backpack feels like i'm a walking target just asking to be hatecrimed lmao

#one of the reason i do it tho is a big juicy “Fuck You” to all homophobes. and if they decide to pick on me bc of my pride pins then. well.#ill just have a fun story to tell later!#☆.txt #but srsly i got asked by my friends why do i still wear them considering the new laws and i said i literally don't give a flying fuck LMAO #can't stop me from being queer and proud 🔥🔥🔥

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rabbitindisguise · 11 months

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earlier I was like "maybe I didn't change at all from middleschool" and then I watched more of haikyuu after going through my old middle school interests and I was like. No I was more angry rage monster? now I'm like. Chill and stuff. And can appreciate chill people more. I don't even have to pretend I just don't mind things as much anymore

the wonders of ~mood stabilizers~

#personal #stay out of school and do drugs etc #mental illness #my last therapist was like oh you're angry like all of the time #which is true to be fair #but I have the benefit of perspective of my young adulthood #and I've actually come a long way from picking fights with random people because they looked at someone funny for being weird #like I still stand by the principle that you should be nice to people regardless of if you're comfortable around them #but I've come around to the idea that 1) i don't read every situation perfectly #2) sometimes people have shit days and it makes them act like a jerk and belaboring it just makes the problem worse #3) it's better to be a genuine friend to people than spend any time thinking about what jerks say #that said I should still probably be mad about less things now that I don't have to be powered by Angry #now I'm powered by Anime and Carbohydrates

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chika-nyan · 1 year

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*lies facedown in the dirt* One more day……….. after that my long work week comes to an end and I will revive once more u_u Tentative otome day this Tuesday? We’ll see how I’m holding up after a long rest, honestly it’s 25/75 but it’s a chance nonetheless wheeze

#✨✨✨ I can’t wait to quit ✨✨✨#✨✨✨But I will because I’m taking all I can in vacation✨✨✨#I am very tired and just. I can’t honestly.#I wish everyone that tried me this week a happy ‘I hope a bird absolutely nails your windshield with poop’#‘and if you don’t drive I hope they nail you or your window or whatever’#✨I wish this especially to my two old lady coworkers that said cvid was a hoax✨#especially the one that came in twice????? at least once. ill with it. making it everyone else’s problem.#The rest of my coworkers are safe from this wish they’re fine u_u)b #It’s not their fault the schedule is shit they’re quite helpful in fact and I appreciate them u_u #Double pox on whoever’s making the work schedule I hope two birds nail your car/window/person #shoutout to that guy who asked for a pound of VERY THIN prosciutto with PAPER IN-BETWEEN #He saw the bus line for sandwiches and went how about I get something ✨CHALLENGING✨ right now #Honestly it was trying but I respect it and it’s like shrugs what can I do the man was here first and asked for it #Not my fault you didn’t pick up mcd’s before your bus trip to the mountains u_u

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hanaasbananas · 1 year

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people who leave 5 star reviews without saying anything are so interesting to me

#banana speaks 🍌#I also do this when i can't think of anything but #this is specifically ab that book i published on amazon way back when #got curious and looked it up and??? it has a 5 star rating from 2 reviews but none of the reviews SAID anything #and its funny to me bc um #exactly 3 people got it hahsgdgs #i want to pick those peoples brains to know what they thought #which story was their favourite? one of the ones i wrote? or my sisters? or my dads?#this book was an assignment for my publishing as an industry class at uni and i remember asking them to contribute to it #and then using a story i wrote for a previous assignment for my first one #panicking bc i gave my sister a word count & then said she could go over & id edit it down when she asked bc i didnt think she'd go too far #AND THEN SHE WROTE 9K WHEN I ASKED FOR 2.5 #so it took me DAYS to cut it down so it wasnt noticeably longer than the other stories #and then i wrote my second story in the collection 12 hrs before the deadline at midnight and continued editing it on my train to uni lmaoo #which is doubly funny bc i think that story is both amazing and terrible #(you can tell i was uh. 21 when i wrote it is all ill say)#but also i sometimes remember the opening of that story and giggle so

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cloneboywonder · 1 year

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im so CWCcoded

#anyway my apologies for gaslighting you all about not personal diary posting bc my dad just texted me goodnight and it made me sad #him and my mom both tried to call me all day I feel bad when I ignore them #bc I know they’ll be dead someday and they won’t be able to call me and I won’t be able to answer #and my brothers both tried to call me I know my mom narced that I was weird yesterday and now everyones scrambling to keep track of me #it’s very nice of them but I really do hate being reminded that I’m the family member that like #they’ve all quietly agreed is always going to have to be monitored and taken care of #I wouldn’t be surprised if Andy and Alex haven’t talked about who I’m going to going to live by when our parents are both gone #it was kind of funny Andy invited me to like go install a security camera with him today #I said no but I do think it could’ve been a fun experince #I was gonna see my mom but she didn’t want to go out again so I waited around until my dad tried to call me again #so then be brought me with him to a hardware store where he tried (and failed) to return paint or something #we love a schemer #and then we picked up Andy and got milkshakes but I was ill so he got me real food on the way home #but I’m going to have to find a way to throw it out tomorrow bc I didn’t eat that much of it and I don’t want him to be sad about it #and I have to clean my room bc Lydia will be here soon #I was weepy in the car and my dad kept saying it’s nice you’ll get a few days with her before the concert #I know :-(#to some extent I love that he’s so incapable of handling emotional moods bc he just puts on songs and complains about them #bc he knows I like to complain and I think he gets scared when I don’t talk and that’s his attempt at getting me to #I need to finish my costume and make bracelets and clean my room these seem doable #okay bye please don’t unfollow me #also I love the name doxing bc these are for me and me only and maybe burke when he logs on I love you #my posts

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thepictoblr · 1 year

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Im bringing back 2015 era vent posting anyway i kinda wish my parents didnt pretend to give me space to talk about myself cause they always use it as a space to then yell at me for not saying what they want to hear

#i was very ready to tell them that im kinda sick of them picking on me about not having my life in order #when my two adult brothers refused to do any housework all weekend #and continue to refuse to do it #and its driving me up the wall #but i know for a fact ill get the reply of #'we're not picking on you! we tell the boys to do housework too' (this is a lie)#and 'well now you know how mum feels when you dont do housework' (i am the only one of her kids that helps with the house)#so i just said nothing

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nomaishuttle · 1 year

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also my stupid downloads r being annoying AND its cold. in this house

#and i need a fucking job Skull #also i feel guilty my mom asked if id be ok with giving up some of my old toys bc somebody she knows was asking if anybody had any of that #doll line . and i said no but now i feel really really bad abt it.. but also theyre baby dolls that i rly rly loved like a ton and like.#theyre in rly bad condition as well... my mom said its ok and that theyre mine and i said ill pick them up when i go down and visit #but erm. i dont actually know how ill transport all of them bc th tickets we were looking at only have 1 personal item #whichll be like #clothes. lolz. so idk.. scared #but i would like to have them :[ the only reason i didnt bring most of my stuffed animals is bc theyre part of a likee. group #of shared stuffed animals w me and my siblings #and like. some of the group r specifically Mine but id feel rly rly bad seperating them from the others ykwim...#but the ones that my mom was asking abt were all mine like entirely. nobody else played with them only me and they were specifically for #me.. so i dont feel bad taking them If that makes sense. but also sigh.... its not like im gonna play with them anymore so itd be nicer to #let my mom give them away. AGHHHHH.... but i still rly care abt them and have good memories :[ kms loudly #the new tags field is so annoying tumblr kys. glad i havent updated my mobile app

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