#Most of the time they get clowned on by their own team real quick for being an asshole for no reason
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Honestly, being a nice chatter in League is so funny. I got autofilled into jungle against an enemy team with mastery points in the millions. Died due to invades twice times in the first minute and a half. Wrote "I just wanna play my skin T_T" and overall joked about my complete inability to do ANYTHING that game.
the enemy viego felt so bad for me he promised not to kill me anymore, and at the very end he just stood in front of our open nexus, giving me advice on how jungle works, what to pay attention to etc, wishing me luck and to enjoy the skin. I was truly so pitiful they didn't end the game to give the sad wet little support main in jungle advice. It was absolutely hysterical.
#I'm not joking I did less than 800 damage. Not 800k. 800. That entire game. I ended 0/10/1#Genuinely the worst game I ever had. I had a lot better games in jungle before (all two of them lmao) but this one was just impossible#I was in slight hysterics by minute 10 bc I really just. Couldn't do shit. My jungle was cleared by viego#One lane losing two struggling#I go anywhere and get picked off. Having the viego write 'hey kayn I'm starting to feel bad' was so funny#His advice was super useful actually. Even my friends said 'oh shit I didn't even know that' abt jungle camp Cs stuff#It was really sweet#In the meantime the rest of our teams realized a bunch speak German so they talked about Döner prices lmao#Super wholesome game despite. The everything#Also I always write gl hf :D beforehqnd and that makes people sooo much more approachable#Some people are dicks but that never stops me#Most of the time they get clowned on by their own team real quick for being an asshole for no reason#My friends are continually baffled by my chipper attitude towards league chat lmao. I just report the actual bigots immediately#Anyway. I think ill stick to support and midlane images still#Hwei my beloved. Seraphine my beloved#league of legends#Personal
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I’m just going to throw down my thoughts now real quick. Someone is obviously going to get taken over by Fyodor. This takeover seems to require blood to activate. Here are the potential options, rated lowest to highest by my own personal interest.
Random character we’ve never met - the easy and boring answer. Fyodor will body snatch one of the vampire guards he was communicating with. Fair amount of likelihood since he could easily have made the transfer of blood at any point, though I’m not sure yet if it needs to be an instantaneous thing or if his blood can lie dormant. Either way I think it’s a bit of an ass-pull with no stakes on our cast so I’m hoping this isn’t the case.
A named character outside Meursault - Probably someone he’s had a lot of contact with, so Fukuchi. This depends on the blood having a latency period and is also insanely contrived. I actually hate it more than the random guard.
The Catgirl thief - I’m assuming this is extremely unlikely since the host needs to be alive. But anyways. Women lovers here’s how we lose even worse.
Having said this now, I think it’s fairly obvious it has to be one of the other Meursault four. This is appropriately thematic and tragic, given that all of them place a lot of value on free will and self-determination, which a takeover by Fyodor would rob them of.
Chuuya - He spent a lot of time around Chuuya to be sure but there’s no blood on him. If there’s a latency period though, it is possible. I’m not feeling this one though, to be honest. I don’t see what narrative purpose it serves - Chuuya hasn’t had enough of a role in the manga for this to mean much, other than royally pissing Dazai off (which to be fair is definitely in character for Fyodor). I think it far more likely that Chuuya is going to be a witness for whatever comes next.
Sigma - High likelihood. He did get stabbed and had the memory transfer. I can’t remember whether Fyodor touched him with his wounded hand. It would be brutal for this to happen to him after he’d just broken free from his manipulation. But honestly I don’t know that Sigma getting taken over is all that interesting. For one, they’re going to need his knowledge (though that may be a reason for Fyodor to off him truthfully), and for another, I just don’t think Sigma’s… done enough as a character. I feel it would kind of render his arc in Meursault pointless to end his story here.
Nikolai - The most likely possibility to me. He is holding Fyodor’s severed hand, which he touched to his face. Fyodor’s ability probably kickstarts after his death, and Nikolai was the first to get his blood on him. Sadly, I suspect that if this is the case, this will be the end for Nikolai. If he gets taken over, I can’t see a reason or method to restore him to himself. What a horribly tragic end this would be to our favourite clown, his freedom snatched away for good by the one person he couldn’t help but get attached to.
Dazai - I dismissed this off-hand at first. Of course I did, Dazai is immune to abilities. I also want to be clear that I seriously doubt Asagiri will off his favourite boy like this. But oh man. What if Fyodor’s ability isn’t an ability, much like in the first skk manga team up? What if them both being there is a call-back to Rimbaud who snatched corpses, and Lovecraft who could hurt Dazai? What if Fyodor really has become no longer human - and this is the proof? I was kind of hoping the Meursault arc would end with Dazai (temporarily!) out of the picture, and this would be a way to do it - Atsushi and Akutagawa would have to step up, Chuuya could be more relevant. We could even have more Kyouka if what I’m starting to wonder is true - that Fyodor was involved in the death of her parents. At the same time, Dazai’s special boy plot armour nullification and mysteriousness gives us a plausible reason to bring him back. And all the while maybe they could continue their mind games, with Dazai being an annoying little pest in the back of Fyodor’s mind.
#I’m screaming asagiri please give us bad ending#also I think chuuya would rapidly lose the idgaf war if he saw dazai being taken over like that which is. just a bonus for me.#realistically though my money’s on nikolai. sorry jester man I think you might be doomed :(#bsd#storyrambles#bsd meta#bsd chapter 114#bsd spoilers#bsd fyodor#bsd chuuya#bsd sigma#bsd nikolai#bsd dazai
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Red Hair or Red Nose? - Part 7 - Final Part
Warning: NSFW - Minors do not interact, this part is for 18+. Apologies for the spelling mistakes/English grammar mistakes - English is not my native language. Writing this was quite difficult since I am asexual/demisexual and writing about men's sexuality was a real fascinating challenge.
This is the second part of the threesome, I will conclude this story after this part and go back to the Captive story (since we always need more Buggy content ;)). Thanks for all the support and as always -
Enjoy reading!
You find yourself taken aback and filled with awe as you witness the transformation in these two men who have always seemed locked in a competition and heated quarrels. The sight before you is a revelation—a serene calmness and unity that surpasses any previous animosity - when it comes to sharing you and your body they seem to work like the perfect team.
Buggy is standing now in front of you, his hard cock pressing against your wet folds, just where Shanks had left off he immediately continues to spread your legs and enters you. Unlike Shanks, he is quick and rough, he does not wait for you to get used to his size, he just takes what he needs.
“Oh Buggy..!” you mewl, trying to reach for him, but it is Shanks, who is grabbing your hand, holding you gently. He is slowly guiding your left hand to his throbbing cock, letting you work on him while Buggy is pumping into you. You are biting your lips, throwing your head back again, you feel so good, you didn't know you could feel that good. You know Shanks is watching and the arousal you feel by being watched is beyond your belief. He starts to groan, seeing the clown pirate inside you seems to really turn him on. Buggy enjoys that he has you for himself now, his hips relentlessly pushing into yours, he smothers you in kisses, something you did not expect - he is possessive and wants to show Shanks that he is able to make you feel good. Buggy increases his speed, hitting your sweetest spot and you can feel you are close to come on his dick.
“Come for me, show me that I am the one you need to feel good…!”
He groans in your ear and you slowly gaze to your side - Shanks wears a knowing smile, a glimmer of understanding in his eyes. It becomes clear to you that he is willing to let Buggy take the lead, conceding to Buggy's desire to claim the position of number one. In this moment, Shanks demonstrates a rare sense of selflessness and you feel deeply attracted to him. He knows Buggys childish desire to win and he gives in. But you have no time to think about your feelings, as the pirate clown is clenching his teeth, holding your hips tight and lifting your legs higher to reach his climax.
As he moans your name and spills his seed inside of you, you also reach your second orgasm, with an unknown intensity and deep affection for the man who just claimed you as his own. His makeup bears slight smudges from the perspiration glistening on his skin, he leans over you panting heavily. In this moment, he appears so remarkably handsome, radiating a captivating charm that draws you in. His eyes, filled with an intensity that seems to penetrate your very being, peer into the depths of your heart and soul, forging a connection that feels exhilarating. You still feel his cock twitching against your pussy walls and you wish he would never let go of you.
The profound appreciation that had welled up for Shanks is now mirrored in your feelings towards Buggy. You feel confused, exhilarated, tired - your legs are shaking from the rough treatment.
Shanks, most likely aroused by seeing the both of you coming and with the help of your hand hisses and groans. Not holding back he is shooting his load on your hand. Buggy takes a step back to not get hit, this somehow makes you chuckle as you carefully lick your hand to get a good taste of the red-haired pirate. You let out a final long sigh and close your eyes for a moment. The knowledge that you are the recipient of their devotion and adoration brings a profound sense of fulfillment and contentment.
An awkward silence envelops the three of you now as you hastily gather your scattered clothes, trying to conceal your exposed bodies. In this moment of quiet, it is Shanks who takes notice of your shaken state and the weariness that likely lingers from the rough treatment.
As you struggle to regain your composure, Shanks steps forward, his concern breaking the silence, his voice laced with compassion. "Are you okay?" he asks, his eyes reflecting his genuine worry.
“Thanks, I am good.”, you smile and you feel again this deep affection towards both of them, you feel thankful for the moment you have shared and you try to smile at Buggy as well. You feel the need to reward the both of them, not only for making you cum twice but for being such a good team.
Buggy approaches you now, taking his white glove, gently wiping away the smeared makeup from your face, an intimate gesture that serves as a testament to his own ability to rival Shanks' kindness.
"I've never witnessed such unity between the two of you before," you express, your voice filled with a mix of surprise and wonder. "I never knew that you both had the capability to set aside your differences and simply... not fight and just..."
“..just fuck.” Shanks laughs.
“Well, but I was the one who made you cum, sweetheart. So I guess it's going to be a night on the ship of the Buggy pirates for you…!” The clown chuckles, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards him. Shanks knowingly smiles at the both of you and you smile back at him.
"If I'm to be a Buggy pirate tonight, then I want to wake up as a red-haired pirate tomorrow," you declare, your words tinged with a sense of teasing and honesty. You hold on to each other as you slowly walk down to the harbor, guided by the gentle glow of the moon illuminating your path.
#buggy the clown x reader#buggy x reader#buggy x you#buggytheclown#one piece buggy#one piece#red haired shanks#shanks one piece#shanks x reader#shanks x you#buggy smut#shanks smut
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Year of the Bat - Number 17
Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’m counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. TODAY’S EPISODE QUOTE: “Man or woman, a sick mind is capable of anything.” Number 17 is…Harley & Ivy.
There are many episodes in B:TAS that can be considered “landmark moments,” not just for the show, but for the lore and history of Batman – in general – moving forward and into the present day. Characters and stories that were so well-conceived, and so incredibly interesting, that later writers, artists, and creators in general would find them to be fountains of inspiration, and which fans still adore to this day. “Harley & Ivy” is one of those landmarks. It not only expanded on the character of Harley Quinn – thus further ensuring her long-lasting legacy as a character – but also on the much older character of Poison Ivy, and provided perhaps one of the most popular supervillain duos in the history of fiction.
Once again, Batman is sort of a secondary player in things for this outing. The focus of the story, really, is on three of his greatest villains: Harley, Ivy, and his arch-nemesis, the Joker. The plot begins when Joker, angry at Harley after a botched robbery, kicks her out of the gang. It’s indicated this isn’t the first time this has happened, and Harley – fed up with the Clown Prince’s ego (despite still having feelings for him) – decides to try and show him up by pulling off a few crimes on her own. Her schemes cause her to come in contact with Poison Ivy, and the two decide to team-up, as Ivy seeks to drill some more backbone and independence into her new partner-in-crime. When their crimes lead to them upstaging the Harlequin of Hate, however, Joker is quick to try and get some revenge. Out to stop all three villains, Batman is dragged into the mess, as usual. This episode really solidified the relationship between Harley and the Joker. In earlier stories, they’d actually gotten along rather well, but this is the first story where we see the unhealthy, dangerous side of their relationship. Over time, writers and creators have gone back and forth on how toxic or how surprisingly touching the relationship should be, but this was the status quo with the original Animated Series version of Harley moving forward: the Joker is awful to Harley, an abusive creep of the highest order…yet he also can’t be without her a lot of the time, for one reason or another. Harley, meanwhile, is hopelessly devoted to the Ace of Knaves, but at times she’ll show a surprising amount of gumption, whenever the Joker does something she REALLY doesn’t agree with.
Of course, the real major relationship here is Harley and Ivy themselves, and in this first outing, it’s nailed perfectly. In the original show, the pair are essentially best friends, and were described as having a sisterly sort of bond. Later reinventions – as well as numerous fanworks – would go further, making the two into love interests; arguably the most popular lesbian couple in the history of superhero fiction. While you COULD argue there are hints of that in their interactions in this episode, and throughout the Animated Series as a whole, I don’t necessarily feel like they were intentional…but regardless of how you look at them – as lovers, sisters in bond, or simply very good friends – watching these two bounce off one another is just as great as seeing Harley and the Joker together. Sometimes even more so! For Poison Ivy, I would argue, it’s ESPECIALLY interesting, because she’s so often depicted as a lone mama wolf, so to speak; a highly independent character who shows little to no empathy for most other human beings. Yet for some reason, you can tell Ivy actually does legitimately care about Harley, even as early as this first appearance. Seeing Harley’s bubbly, childish, manic personality rebound off of Ivy’s more serious, sarcastic, sardonic attitude creates a lot of comedic and dramatic tension. It’s the Animated Series that really made me fall in love with Ivy as a character, and I think a big part of that DID come from her interactions with Harley. Out of all the other characters Harley has been paired up with besides the Joker in times since – from Deadshot, to Killer Croc, to Lobo, and so on – something about Harley & Ivy’s particular partnership remains arguably the strongest of all. It all started with this episode, and anyone who loves these characters owes it to themselves to check it out, if they haven’t already.
Tomorrow we move on to the halfway point of the countdown, with Number 16! Hint: “Fear’s a prison, you see, and I’ve just broken out!”
#list#countdown#best#favorites#new year's special#year of the bat#top 31 btas episodes#btas#batman: the animated series#dcau#dc#batman#animation#tv#number 17#harley & ivy#harley quinn#harleen quinzel#poison ivy#pamela isley#joker
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Newscapepro Season 2: Bobble Hates You!
“Yo, Cory come out here,” Cory was shook awake by the gentle, if awkward voice of Lara, and the violent banging on his door from probably no Lara.
“Ugh…” Cory groaned as he slowly dragged himself out of bed.
BANG BANG BANG BANG
“It’s an order, Cory!” Triana grumbled from the other side.
Lara snorted. “Be nice, Tri,”
“Yeah… I was having such a good nap…” He grumbled as he opened the door, revealing the two girlfriends. “What do you guys want?”
“Well-”
“Actually wait I wanna explain this one,” Lara raised her hand, Triana chuckled as the blue haired woman attempted to find the words.
“Uhh… so, basically I’m like single handedly containing this one Skip… who’s like a clown on TV and uh…”
“SCP-993,” Triana smirked, Lara began to pout. “It’s a clown themed TV show that causes severe brain damage to children who watch it; Lara’s put in charge of making sure it doesn’t air,”
“I would’ve gotten it eventually…”
“...Why are you telling me this?”
“Cause we’re watching the episodes I stop from airing with like… little to no effort,” Lara explained. “Wanna come?”
Cory sighed. “I guess,”
“Yes!” Lara fist bumped the air, Triana quickly kissed her on the cheek as the group of three moved towards the Computer in the Commons Room.
---
Scott, Hooper and Nikole were there, standing or sitting around the computer as Lara sat down. Cory sat on a chair next to Hooper and Triana stood next to her girlfriend.
“Alright, Bobble over here is trying air in-”
“Bobble?! Wait Bobble the Clown was an SCP?” Cory interrupted Lara, shock and nostalgia clear in his voice. “I used to watch that show all the time when I was a kid!”
“That… explains a lot actually,” Hooper and Scott chuckled.
Nikole snickered. “Y’know that show causes severe brain damage in kids right?”
“Yeah, that’s why we spend do much money containing it,” Triana said.
“Wha? But I watched it all the time and I’m fine!” Cory argued. The whole team gritted their teeth and stared at Cory, who pouted in response.
“...Anyway watch me contain this dumdum real quick,” Lara snorted as an alert popped up on her monitor
INSTANCE APPEARED, 37 Martin Luther St.
She hit a single button, and just like that the instance didn’t show.
“It’s literally that easy,” Lara said. “Let’s check out that episode right uh… now,”
Each team member leaned in like a 1 year old being given an ipad. A brightly dressed clown appeared on the screen in a kitchen.
“Wuh-hey kids, welcome back to Bobble’s Kitchen Surprise!” The clown smiled an unhinged smile, standing behind a bench in a kitchen. “And today, we’re gonna be makin’ eyeball chip cookies!”
The clown paced around the kitchen as he continued to talk, his tone getting increasingly sinister. “Now, I know it ain’t the most popular form of cookie… however, I find eyeball chip cookies absolutely delightful!” He looked to a door on the side of the kitchen. “Bring ‘em in!”
Someone wearing a black hoodie and a ski mask forced a man into the room: bound, gagged and screaming and struggling futilely as he was forced in.
“Oh jeez, I know I said I was gonna make cookies but…” The clown pulled out a knife. “Oh, this one just seems too delicious to wait”
“MPPPHHH!”
“Fucken’ Jesus, they showed this to kids?” Scott chuckled uncomfortably.
Nikole took a sip of her flask. “Lazy ass…”
“That isn’t the…” Triana sighed in defeat.
“This episode was a classic… wait this was a kid’s show?” Cory’s head quirked up.
Lara shrugged. “I mean it’s framed as a kid’s show, but like… most episodes of Sesame Street don’t have a guy getting his eyeballs cut out,”
“Disgustin’ stuff,” Hooper gagged.
“Yeah, you’re doing good work here, honey,” Triana patted Lara on the back, who giggled in response.
“Thanks Tri… I actually have a bunch of these archived if you wanna see more,”
“Well, I got nothing else on, sure,” Scott shrugged.
“I guess…” Hooper mumbled.
Nikole chuckled. “As long as I get to make a drinking game outta it,”
“You’re gonna do that either way,” Lara deadpanned.
“I’ll make sure Nikole doesn’t die of Liver failure,” Triana pinched the bridge of her nose as Nikole grumbled something about being “way too strong for that,”
“Let’s go!” Cory smiled.
“Neat,” Lara chuckled as she intervened in another viewing of the show, showing the team the next episode.
The Clown appeared again, this time in a sparse city in the middle of the night. “Wuh hey kids, I’m Bobble the Clown and here’s a waaaacky guide on getting away with murder,” He began to casually walk around the street, unnoticed by few people walking around the street to wherever and whatever.
“Remember to always commit your crimes at night!” He excitedly pointed at the audience as he skulked through the back alleys of the city. “And only target people the police are less likely to care about!” The clown walked up to a dark skinned lady in the alleyway.
The screen cut from the presumed murdering to the Clown dumping the body of the women in the river.
“And always remember kids, never let the police find the body!” The Clown said. “Closure increases the chances of you getting caught!”
“Jesus Christ, do I include racism in the drinking game?” Nikole’s eyes widened in shock.
“Oh you’re one to talk, dude, remember Trivia Night,” Scott said.
“You can’t prove shit”!
“Literally all of us can,” Triana sighed. “Unfortunately…”
“It wasn’t…” Lara looked lost in thought for a minute. “Okay it was that bad now that I think about it,”
“I don’t remember this episode…” Cory looked curiously at the screen. “I guess they made more?”
“The exact episodes of the show is unknown,” Hooper shrugged. “Sometimes it feels like they make ‘em in seconds,”
“It was a magical TV Show, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Cory smiled.
“Dude, he just encouraged attacking ethnic minorities,” Lara deadpanned.
“Okay well that part’s bad,”
Lara chuckled. “Well obviously,”
The computer beeped, Lara stopped another viewing of the show, she looked back at the team. All of them nodded, Cory more excited than the rest of them as they opened up the video.
It was just Bobble, sitting in a chair, staring at the camera with a look of pure hatred in his eyes as he stared, and stared, and stared.
“This goes for 20 minutes,” Lara said absentmindedly. “He must be like, really pissed,”
“He’s gotta now bad of an influence is show is on kids, right?” Scott leaned in.
“Hey, I watched it all the time and I turned out fine,”
The whole team looked at Cory for a minute.
“What?”
Everyone went back to looking at the screen.
Nikole took a swig of her flask. “This clown guy’s fucken… weird, can we get like one normal Skip please?”
“No…? That’s like the whole point of this group,” Lara chuckled.
“What about like… the normal ass people that have powers sometimes?”
Lara looked lost in thought for a minute. “Eh… still kinda weird,”
“The possibility of a worse organisation getting to them first is enough reason to contain them,” Triana said.
“I didn’t mention that…” Nikole pouted.
Hooper crossed his arms. “Ya implied it, Nik,”
“Yeah-” Lara was interrupted by another beep from her computer, she quickly hit the button that stopped the episode of Bobble the Clown from airing. For once she looked at the title.
“How to torture dumb annoying severely underweight annoying stupid slutty IT whores named Lara Krum…” She read the entire name outloud, Nikole chuckled, Triana grimaced and jabbed the alcoholic in the stomach.
“Rude,” Lara commented.
“I don’t think he likes you, dude,” Scott chuckled.
“Do not know what told you that, man,” Lara shook her head sarcastically. “Let’s watch it,”
Bobble appeared again in a dark room, with a woman that looked similar to Lara tied to a chair in a dimly lit room. “Hey, hey there you little… kid hating FUCKERS!” The Clown mumbled incoherently. “Here’s… here’s how you torture… I forgot the title; here’s how you deal with little bitches who censor your perfectly normal show!”
He tore open the woman’s achilles tendon with a pair of wire cutters, she screamed in agony.
“You need to,” he breathed out heavily. “You need to leave wounds that hurt, but can’t kill, like this!”
He tore off one of her fingernails, then another, the woman screamed even louder.
Lara looked behind her, she saw Triana about to vomit and elected to quickly turn the video off.
An awkward, terrified silence fell over the team.
Scott quickly broke the silence. “Jesus Christ, hopefully that isn’t real, heh,”
“Probably just a lookalike, don’t worry Triana,” Nikole drunkenly patted Triana on the back and calmed down.
The blonde woman sighed. “I’m fine… just kinda fucked up seeing it, y’know?”
“I get it Tri, I’m a little uh… y’know,” Lara motioned to the screen. “Fucked up with it too, don’t worry,”
Cory stared off into space, directly at the screen that showed his friend getting tortured, brutally too. He thought about if that could happen, it’d probably happen as a result of him failing Lara just like the rest of his friends-
Hooper snapped his fingers in front of Cory. “Hey, ya good?”
Cory jumped back a little. “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine… just a bit shook,”
“We all are, dude,” Scott patted the man on the back.
“Yeah… let’s uh… not watch any more of these,” Lara chuckled uncomfortably. “My shift with this Skip ends in a couple hours anyway,”
“Good,” Triana smiled lightly, Lara smiled too.
Cory yawned. “Welp, I’m gonna go eat, see ya,”
The team waved goodbye as he left.
“...I’m worried about him, he don’t seem to have the best opinion of himself,” Hooper sighed.
Scott put his hand on Hooper’s back, patting it a little as he placed it there. “He’s got a good friend in you, dude, and the rest of us,” He said. “If anything happens, we’ll all be there for him,”
“Yeah, a good friend,” Hooper looked a little forlorn for a moment, before he smiled.
Nikole and Lara exchanged a knowing look with each other.
Triana cleared her throat. “Yeah, hopefully it doesn’t get that bad,”
“Yeah, hopefully,”
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The subconcious part of Stu that feels most keenly the othering effect that his secret relationship with Maureen Prescott has on him reaches out with some frequency to try and normalize it. It's in his signature tongue-out display at every chance he gets— in his waggled brows and quick ability to lace just about any conversation with innuendo and loads of perversion and suggestion. Class clown that he may be, everything about him exudes a sort of ease and confidence about sex— gives his teenage peers the impression he's got experience somehow. Maybe scandalously so. No one fesses up to being the one to give it up to him, but still, it's known. He couldn't talk the way he does, know the things he knows, without having done it already. Stu's pretty sure it's how he lands Casey for those glorified fifteen minutes he has her, before she trades up to Steve from the football team. He touches Randy with it. Well. Not literally. They might not be able to look each other in the eye after if they touched. No, he just lets the usual back and forth movie babble turn into an invite to his house— sans parental supervision; perfect for being able to enjoy the bare-chested scenes of their favorite horror flicks. It's nice being able to pause them, taking in the grainy offering of tits halted in time, suspended there for their eager perusing and committing to memory. It's not a secret that it's a turn-on... nor what they'd usually do about it if they were each on their own. Stu says something about it being if the same if they just don't look. So they don't, though they do share the moment, pushing hands into jeans to relieve an ache that plagues them on the regular and with little provocation. He never confides his dirty little Mrs. Prescott secret with Randy, but he doesn't need to. They have their own, now. An infrequent semi-circle jerk around the tv screen, the kind of thing everybody does, according to Stu. You just don't talk about it. There's something calming and less lonely about knowing and being friends with somebody confirmed. Someone else who does what he does— or would if he wasn't such a dork that no girl at school will give him the time of day. Stu touches Tatum with it too— just like Maureen taught him. Tongue out, face buried in her muff, suffocating on the scent and taste of her. That's not weird though. She's his girlfriend. They're supposed to, and she's real appreciative of the so-called home training she ribs him for getting from whoevever had him before— so long as it wasn't that Casey Becker. Stu grins and swears he barely dated her at all, let alone long enough to get a peek under the hood, and keeps Tatum sweet and satisfied. Fucking around catches more easily than chicken pox, and it's like the more he shares it, the less itchy he feels about it all.
#* ⠀ / ⠀ 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀𝘿 𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍 ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ❪ �� stu macher ⠀ ❫ ⠀ * ⠀ HEADCANON.#nsft cw#usfw cw#hypersexuality as a trauma response#also the ways in which secret-keeping victims feel a need to feel less alone in what they know and participate in#depending on the stage they're at with it
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Joking About Dating A Friend But They Take You Seriously
A/n: woohoo, we’re doing another one babbyyy! I’ll never get tired of these sorts of situations honestly <3
G/n reader
Team Captains (most of them~)
Kuroo Tetsurou
He was walking behind you, about to tap your shoulder, witty conversation starter at the tip of his tongue one he totally hadn’t prepared a day beforehand, only to be hit with you saying “Wow, look at you! A fantastic boyfriend i have indeed.”
Reals back, all thoughts flying out of his head
All internal excitement dissipates as panic and dread take its place
You had introduced Kuroo to the guy you were calling your boyfriend, saying you were only friends and yet…
How come he didn’t know? Him and you were close to each other, right? Had he been so deep into your smiles and pretty eyes that he had misread everything? Maybe he had made up the little signs that meant you felt the same
It was probably his feelings making him a lovesick fool
That thought stuck with him the most because that made him pretty delusional if he got everything this mixed up
He has so many questions rattling in his brain, pinning him down, that he doesn’t realize you’ve turned around and are staring at him
It takes your hand waving back and forth in front of him to startle him out of his trance
His panic doubles, voice strained
“Ahh, hey there kitten. What’s new?”
It’s missing his usual excitement and he sounds strangled, you notice right away that he’s also turned away from you
“Tets are you all good? Are you sick, I could get you some medicine if you aren’t feeling well?”
“What no, I’m not- you don’t have to do any of that, I’m better than I could ever be.” He chuckles and he knows he’s not being convincing in the slightest
“Huh, I’ll get the truth out of you in a sec, I’m gonna say bye to my friend and then we can go, okay?”
“Don’t you mean boyfriend.” It comes out before he can stop himself
The bitter tone is so obvious he’s tempted to bolt, maybe start over as a circus clown
He’s positive he could pull that wig off
Your voice is laced with laughter when you ask if he really does need to go see a doctor
“And what boyfriend?” You pause, smile growing. “Are you talking about yourself or what?”
Now he’s flustered and confused. It’s not like you didn’t talk like that with him but you had a boyfriend now didn’t you or was that..?
“WAIT EARLIER YOU-
He takes a deep breath, he could be wrong, he needs to stay calm
“We’re, we’re you just kidding around when you said your friend was, well ya know?”
You laugh again and explain, slightly embarrassed by the mishap, that yes you were kidding around
He feels all of his confidence come back and asks the question that leads to you two finally dating
“If that’s the case and the spot really isn’t taken, how about I become your boyfriend?”
Bokuto Koutaro
He. Is. Crushed.
Everyone around him can feel the tense atmosphere and looking at his face is like a punch to the gut with his heartbroken eyes, he’s staring at you like you’ve died instead of said you loved your girlfriend
All bokuto had wanted was to give you a quick hug before he headed off to practice
Instead he has to deal with the weight of knowing you’re with someone else, that and the realization that he needs to put away his own feelings so he doesn’t ruin your relationship with the person you love
He had known he liked you for quite awhile, it was hard figuring out a time he should confess or whether that would make you uncomfortable
He’s glad he never tried anything since it saved him from the possibility of making things hard for you, seeing as how you would’ve had to let your friend down
Bokuto looks at you closely, there’s a grin on your face as you stare at her and if you’re happy then he can live with this
That’s what he firmly thinks
And so pulling himself up with a smile, he walks over to you with a solidly convincing amount of energy
He talks excitedly and almost exactly like he would normally
What he’s saying doesn’t sit right with you though
His words are depressing and he looks like he’s forcing himself to talk like this
You stop him in the middle of a joke, that wasn’t all that funny with the sad way it was being told, and ask if he’s okay
His smile gets even bigger, and now you can see it’s clearly fake as he gives you some excuse about training being harder on him lately
You decide to wait and give him a little space, you assume he’ll walk off to volleyball practice, and later you’ll be able to talk with him about whatever’s going on
When he keeps talking and it becomes clear he’s not moving, stalling for time, you ask if you can talk alone with him
“Bo, is um, did something happen? You’re upset aren’t you?” You question him cautiously
“Nope! I’m just glad I get to talk with you, it’s not something I’ll be able to do as often since you have to spend time with your girlfriend and all!”
His smile finally slips as what he said hits you both
You’re quick in explaining the mistake now that you know what’s eating away at him
He can’t believe his luck when he hears you say it was just a joke, it’s too good to be true
But he doesn’t care, he’s just happy
Doesn’t even let himself process it all before he’s asking you to please, think about dating him
You’re both glad his smile is back to normal when you say you’d love to
Kita Shinsuke
Keeps it together like the seemingly impassive and parent friend that he is
Hurts so much more then he wants to admit
Doesn’t want to believe what he just heard but if you say that you have a partner, than those are the facts and he can’t change anything
But shit, does he wish he could
He’s standing right next to you, a step away and if he took it you would be pressed against his side
That’s an impossible reality, a fantasy he needs to put to rest now that he knows your feelings for someone else
That step however, is ungraciously closed when you trip backward from what appears to be your partner moving their foot as you had moved forward, resulting in you falling onto Kita
Instantly flustered by it and is feeling so betrayed by his body when he automatically puts an arm around you to keep you upright
He tries to be respectful as he removes himself from your side, it isn’t right for him to be that close to you, he’ll just have to push down the disappointment he feels from the lack of contact
“Kita-kun! I’m really sorry about that, my friend” you give a pointed glare towards the person of your affection. “accidentally knocked me into you.”
He gives a small smile at you, slightly unsure as to why you would address your partner as just your friend
If he’s being truthful, he doesn’t want to think about it anymore and that’s why he allows himself to shrug off the strange event
He acts like he always does in the next couple days, though the aggressive lilt in his voice that appears at any mistake he spots, gives away his frustration
His feelings are boiling over the surface and he realizes he needs to find a way to get over this
The best way to do that, he concludes, is to tell you his feelings so he can take the rejection and move on
A resolution that he puts into motion the next time he’s with you
He does it simply and tries to make it as small and meaningless as possible
“Thanks for listening to this, I know it must be difficult to deal with.”
You’re speechless and Kita wishes this could be easier but he steels himself for what’s about to come next
“I- Kita, I know you’re not and I apologize in advance, but are you a dumbass?” You’re expression is both mortified and happy and he really doesn’t know what’s happening
“I like you. I was messing around with my friend and I promise you, I will never be doing that again.”
Oh, Kita is so relieved and the first thing he does when you become official is pull you in for a hug
And he’s gonna keep pulling you in for hugs :3
Ushijima Wakatoshi
His surprise is on full display and he ends up staring at you so intensely you automatically come up to ask him what was wrong
Isn’t sure how to put into words how he feels at the moment
You are your own person, so he shouldn’t feel any right to being the one to call you his partner
Yet he can’t stop the disappointment from filling every part of him
Ushijima wants to be mature about this though, If you think that girl is good enough for you then he will live with the heartache
So he shakes his head and comes up with a small excuse for his behavior
He seems normal to most in the following week, quite and stoic, more silent around you than he’s probably ever been but nothing really out of place per say
However his annoyance with your girlfriend only grows when he sees that you are not being treated how most would in a romantic relationship
He’s had enough when he hears her tell you about this pretty girl she saw the other day
She’s all casual and smiles when she says it too
Walks over, taps your shoulder, and asks if you can talk in private
It wasn’t right and he was 100% calm when he explained why he thought you weren’t being treated right
And he definitely wasn’t a little jealous and using the way your girlfriend was acting as a way to see if he could prove he could treat you better
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t being completely rational when he was making his points as to why you should maybe, just possibly reconsider the whole dating your girlfriend thing
But the fact that she hadn’t held your hand was very important and he needed you to know that
He needed you to know that you shouldn’t have to listen to the one you cared for like that, speak of another person they found good looking, especially when the most attractive one was you
Ushijima doesn’t know how to take your silence when he finishes, and you seem… embarrassed?
Had he gone too far? Over stepped a boundary in his jealousy?
He was considering an apology for his rash behavior when you spoke up, though it was more appropriate to call it spoke down with the way you had your head lowered and voice quiet
“Toshi, did you mean all that?”
He’s not sure where this is going, he responds honestly regardless
“Yes, I meant it and I’m sorry if I insulted you.” He doesn’t apologize for insulting your girlfriend tho~
“Then you should probably know that I was only playing around when I said I was dating my friend. We’re not together.” You finally look into his eyes. “I’m pretty single and uh, if you really wanna help me in my dating problems you could date me, that’d fix them all.”
The slightest blush appears on his cheeks and when he reply’s with his yes, it’s almost like a happy sigh
He makes sure to show you how much he loves you everyday, he’s also still slightly bitter around your friend <3
Terushima Yuuji
Freaking out
He is having a hardcore internal screaming sesh
Walks away from you so he can pretend he didn’t just hear that
Also wants to make sure you don’t see him panicking
He finds a place where he’s alone, a field outside the gym he had been in, that is till he’d heard you talk to your boyfriend
Who was apparently, very entertaining if the way you had been laughing was any indication
Stands there, blank for a few seconds
Is so set on not crying over something like this because he knows that you’re amazing and shouldn’t be so surprised over you dating some other dude
He should go back inside and act like he always does, or maybe not since you are with your boyfriend
He’s being stupid, acting this overworked
It’s what he tells himself but he can feel a couple tears slip down his cheeks and there’s a sob bubbling up in his chest against his will
This didn’t feel fair
He wants to do something, he just doesn’t know what
Pretending he’s fine would be a good option if he could stop crying
It’s not looking feasible at the moment however
Takes a shaky breath and is coming to the decision he should leave you alone for now when he hears his name
Someone’s calling him, someone who absolutely cannot see him right now
He starts sprinting, but the thing about crying is that it’s pretty exhausting and before he knows it he’s gasping for breath, too slow to move out of your reach
“Terushima! Why would you-
You stare at his tear stained face, concern pulling your features into a deep frown and he desperately wishes he wasn’t the cause of it
“Hey, what’s wrong?” You ask the question softly, making it all hurt a little more
His eyes are closed when he replies. “Nothing you need to worry your pretty head with.”
“Whatever it is I won’t judge and if you want advice or someone to just listen I’m listening.”
“You, it’s really not..” he breaks. “Are you really with that guy?”
It’s none of his business, why’d he have to ask that?
Understanding lights up your face, and with the new information having connected the dots you move closer to him
“I’m not. He and I were joking, so please don’t cry.” He feels a hand wipe a stray tear from his face
“Would you maybe wanna go out sometime,” you laugh a little. “I hope I didn’t completely misread this, if I did I suppose we’d be matching.. and I wouldn’t mind so much if that was the case.”
He answers by grabbing your hand.
“That answer shouldn’t have been so cute, I’ll forgive you by taking you up on that date though.”
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu kuroo#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo x reader#kuroo x y/n#kuroo x you#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto kotaro#bokuto x reader#bokuto x y/n#haikyuu kita#kita shinsuke#kita x you#kita x y/n#kita x reader#haikyuu ushijima#ushijima wakatoshi#ushijima x y/n#ushijima x you#ushijima x reader#haikyuu terushima#terushima yuuji#terushima x y/n#terushima x you#terushima x reader#me: I don’t really like ushijima all that much#the way I wrote ushijima for this:#me: …#me: are we reALLY DOING THIS TO OURSELVES#haikyuu angst to fluff
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literally just another giant post of Bakugou faces.
so I did this last year, but I only got up to chapter 120 before I ran out of steam. happily, though, this left me with an additional 190 chapters’ worth of glorious gremlin faces to choose from for this year’s edition! which I figure I had better do, before tumblr finally pulls the plug on my poor sweet image limit.
so without further ado, happy birthday to Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s asymmetrical HAH face where his eyes do the thing like ( ◣益◢).
why I like it: so this is from Kirishima’s flashback in chapter 133, where Kirishima was getting all down on himself because his quirk Only Does One Thing, and Kacchan was all “nah bro don’t worry about it because your One Thing is totally fucking rad, and you’re strong enough to withstand anything.” so that of course was incredibly sweet, and one of the few times we’ve seen him give an actual heartfelt pep talk without so much as a single insult thrown into the mix. but what really puts this scene over the top for me is the fact that you can see the ever-so-subtle hints of guilt and regret when he talks about All Might and Kamino. for just a moment, he gets this distant look in his eyes, and his expression turns soft and contemplative. basically this is a rare collector’s edition Kacchan face you will not find in many other places.
why I like it: because this frankly needs to happen in every damn fight until this kid finally gets it through his thick skull to ditch the mask so we can see every fantastic facial expression in full 4k glory. work with me here please Kacchan.
why I like it: because character growth!! this was our first big moment of post-DvK2 Kacchan development, and the payoff was well worth the wait. it only took him 166 chapters to realize that it’s hard to grow as a person if you’re determined to be a humongous dick to every single person you meet!! lmao, but it’s progress though.
why I like it: these two panels are criminally underrated. the way his face transforms when Deku gets the answer wrong dlkjfldk. this is easily one of the funniest subtle gags in the entire series.
why I like it: “hey Bakugou do you want to play in our band?” “fuck you, no.” “pretty please.” “fine, but I refuse to call it a band.” “well then what do you want to call it -- ” “MURDER.”
why I like it: GONNA MURDER EVERYONE BY PLAYING THE DRUMS!!!! SOMEHOW WE’VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPARTMENTALIZED THIS SCHOOL-SANCTIONED DISPLAY OF PERFORMING ARTS AS A DEATH MATCH. OH TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THIS YOUNG MAN’S MIND.
why I like it: hah?! I love how he has to tilt his neck all the way back every single time he does this. he’s so cute I love him so much.
why I like it: somewhere around this point in the manga Kacchan decided to do away with being handsome and decided to just be a full-time gremlin in every single panel. this persisted for the next 90 chapters or so and he was very dedicated. I’m pretty sure he was going for vulgar and intimidating, but unfortunately for him he’s too inherently adorable and so the end result is just endearing and almost charming in its own way.
why I like it: this was from chapter 194 when Aizawa was announcing that they’d have a special guest for the Joint Training arc, and so Kacchan was all “BOY OH BOY A NEW ASS TO KICK.”
why I like it: more character development! and just look at that confidence! he’s fully recovered from his low point after Kamino and the provisional exam. he knows what he’s about now, and he is THRIVING. and once again you can see how his conviction inspires the people around him and makes them more determined. just, he is going to be such a good number one hero you guys.
why I like it: it’s the three little “!!!” lines hovering in the corner next to his head for me. “oh my god it’s All Might, All Might saw me being cool and Saving To Win and stuff, what’s he gonna say what do I do omg quick act natural.”
why I like it: QUICK HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!! WE CAN’T LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE. fjkdlsjklk
why I like it: this is his expression when he first sees Deku activate Blackwhip for the first time. it’s one of the few unguarded expressions of complete surprise that we’ve gotten from him and I love it thank you.
why I like it: classic asymmetrical HAH face. he truly has perfected this look. look at him, casually clinging to a pole for no reason other than to look dynamic. this boy truly cannot sit or stand or walk or do anything normally. he spent three months working his ass off to catch up to Deku and the others, and now that he finally has he’s filled with so much pent-up energy that he simply cannot hold it back anymore and he’s gotta climb a pole. he’s just gotta.
why I like it: because he is so fucking good at saving people now you guys, he’s like a whole-ass professional and shit, and yet it hasn’t changed who he is one single iota. he will save your life and he will SCREAM AT YOU WHILE DOING IT and you’ll sit there and be grateful goddammit.
why I like it: o noo he was caught unawares. All Might was all “I’m gonna have a dad moment and nobody can stop me” and he walked right up to him and put his hand on his head because he’s All Might and so what is he even gonna do about it. nothing, that’s what. you got played, Kacchan. outmaneuvered and outfoxed. all he can do is stand there and make that grumpy face he makes when he’s receiving unwanted affection (҂⌣̀_⌣́).
why I like it: more unwanted affection. now they’re even feeding him ffs. how could he let this happen. mm chicken.
why I like it: GREATEST ASYMETRICAL HAH?! FACE OF ALL TIME. out of all the people to befriend him against his will, Todoroki is by far the most confusing to him and it’s just so great.
why I like it: this is when Hawks is staring at him in chapter 244 because he fake-killed his mentor and stuff and he feels sorta guilty about it. but meanwhile Kacchan just thinks he’s trying to start some shit, and so he’s all “I WAS FASTER THAN YOU BACK THERE YOU KNOW” and Hawks is all “hahaha okay little buddy you just keep telling yourself that”, because as previously discussed Kacchan is too adorable to ever be intimidating.
why I like it: this is from 246 when he’s in the middle of arguing with Burnin’ and all of a sudden Endeavor calls to him and he’s just like o shit what’d I do.
why I like it: because Endeavor’s mentoring them and shit and he’s just casually sitting there eating his lunch like yeah. with his lil hamster cheeks lulz.
why I like it: the look that instantly became iconic. this panel cured me of the misconception that Bakugou “goes to bed at 8:30pm” Katsuki was a morning person. the truth is he loathes all times of the day equally.
why I like it: this one is a team effort because Deku’s faces are equally as good. I’m genuinely shocked that this family dinner with the Todorokis didn’t prematurely unlock Danger Sense. you can tell that he and Deku have a silent agreement to call a temporary truce on their rivalry for as long as they sit at this table as outsiders in this strange land. this is by far the most hazardous meal Bakugou has ever experienced, and yet the mapo tofu is too good to go to waste, so he’s just shoveling it down his throat trying to finish as much as possible before shit inevitably hits the fan.
why I like it: Kacchan is New Here so he doesn’t yet realize that if the Todorokis are spilling family secrets, there is always inevitably going to be someone listening in the shadows just outside the door.
why I like it: the battle with Ending was probably peak gremlin!Kacchan. like, we’ve had gremlin before and afterwards, but never quite to this same degree. Horikoshi really decided to push the limits of contorting this child’s face in the strangest ways.
why I like it: peak. gremlin.
why I like it: nothing to see here, just Kacchan quietly realizing after 252 chapters that he MIGHT have been just a BIT of a cartoonishly villainous asshole to Deku back at the beginning there ha ha ha oh god oh fuck.
why I like it: because he found the answer to What It Is That He Lacks, and he’s all cool and calm and infuriatingly secretive about it. it’s such a sudden and stark contrast to the gremlin faces he was making only moments earlier, and it makes this moment hit home that much more.
why I like it: because this is him being friends with Deku!! like for real though!! because he’s fucking around and insulting him and making weird faces and stuff, but it’s because in his mind That’s What Friends Do. they clown on each other and help each other train and shit. half an hour after this they’ll go down to the training gym and play Catch-A-Kacchan, and then he’ll quietly confess to All Might that he wants to atone. he may be a gremlin, but he’s a gremlin with layers goddammit.
why I like it: because this is right after TomurAFO shows up out of nowhere and scares the shit out of him and Deku and makes them see a terrifying death vision and stuff, and you can see how shaken up he is by it. he definitely understands how close they came to dying just then and he’s sobered the fuck up. this is the moment when it really sinks in that shit has gotten real. eight minutes from now he’ll move without thinking and save Deku’s life.
why I like it: hydro homies. nothing restores those electrolytes like good old Raquaius Sports Drink.
why I like it: because this panel was when it started to become clear that the real reason he grabbed this sports drink was to pretend like he was busy so he could act like he wasn’t interested in Deku’s training because god forbid the neighbors know that he actually cares.
why I like it: because the sideways glance!! and the fact that he doesn’t deny it!! in fact he does the opposite of denying it, and he basically starts pouring his heart out about how goddamn worried he actually is. he’s guilty and anxious and restless and this entire conversation is amazing.
why I like it: he looks so goddamn young here. when he finally stops scrunching up his face and putting on his usual tough guy act and for once allows his actual emotions to show on his face instead, the result is so damn striking. for once we got an entire conversation with no gremlin faces, because Horikoshi had to drop them completely in order to show just how serious he is here. which was incredibly effective btw.
why I like it: because he’s basically just fidgeting with the bottle now to avoid making eye contact with All Might because he just revealed a deep dark secret to him and he’s precariously vulnerable right now. that’s the body language of a kid who knows how badly he fucked up, and just wants to hear from someone else if it’s going to be okay, if he can still make it okay. he looks so small here.
why I like it: the worry lines under his eyes. the look of uncertainty and wanting to believe that what All Might says is true (“you’ll get a chance to talk eventually”). the hesitance to turn back and look at him, and the way he doesn’t dare until he finally gets that small bit of reassurance. All Might isn’t judging him. All Might understands him and understands where he’s coming from, and he’s giving him his blessing. he’s giving him a thumbs up and reassuring him that he sees the change in him and sees that he’s sincerely trying, and basically saying that he has faith that he and Deku will be able to work it out. and you can see that it means a lot.
why I like it: because this kid spent his entire internship with Jeanist doing nothing but bitching nonstop, and then later on when Jeanist went missing he was all tight-lipped about it because once again NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT WE CARE GODDAMMIT, and it was all very Classic Bakugou. but then Jeanist finally shows up again at Jakku, and we get this little moment of happy, smirky FUCK YEAH, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it’s just the best.
why I like it: HE’S SO UNABASHEDLY PROUD GOD BLESS HIM.
why I like it: because he nearly died and then he woke up here in the hospital two days later not knowing where anybody else is or whether they’re even still alive, and this, my friends. this is finally the moment. the moment where he was all FUCK IT, MAYBE WE CAN LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE AFTER ALL. character fucking development. you love to see it.
BONUS:
WHAT HAVE I BECOME, MY SWEETEST FRIEND. EVERYONE I KNOW GOES AWAY IN THE END.
happy birthday Katsuki. feel better sweetie. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER TREAT HIM RIGHT I AM COUNTING ON YOU.
#bakugou katsuki#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha meta#bakugou meta#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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ʙɪɢɢᴇsᴛ ғᴇᴀʀs
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ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ: (ANON) Heyyya I saw that you were taking requests! I love your writing and could I maybe get a fic where the reader is slightly new to the avengers and they’re at one of Tony’s parties and someone tells the entire team how she’s always felt that no one could lover her and somehow Bucky reveals his feelings for her and it maybe ends in smut or fluff? Thank you 💗
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: Smut 18+, Bucky gets upset and it’s kinda hot ;), insecure!reader, fluff
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇ: Thank you for the request darling! I tweaked it a bit but i think i did alright… Anyhoo enjoy!!
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“Quite the party, Tones. Really one up yourself tonight didn’t you?” Nat said after everyone cleaned up. It was around one in the morning, Everyone that Tony invited to yet another extravagant party had finally left. Leaving you and the rest of the team for a small little after party, as per usual according to Nat.
You joined the Avengers not long ago and you had yet to be invited to one of Tony's parties. This was the first of many to come and boy, did those fantasies get fulfilled. Guests dressed to the nines occupied every corner of the room, it was almost too crowded for your taste.
But now here you were settled on the couch with the rest of your teammates laughing and giggling about stupid things that happened during the party.
“Hey, you had fun,” Tony pointed sternly at Nat, who simply shrugged with a devilish smirk.
“So what now? Because I don’t know about you guys but I am not tired at all,” Clint groaned.
“Truth or dare?” Nat said.
“What?”
“Truth. Or. Dare,” she repeated.
“Dare,” he challenged.
“Lift Thor’s hammer,” she mocked, considering the last they all tried it no one succeed and a robot crashed their party.
“Alright,” he grunted, standing up.
“Tony, got any robots that wanna kill you this time?” He laughed.
“I don’t think so,” Tony looked around, making everyone laugh.
“What happened last time?” you whispered to Bucky.
“I have no idea, I was in hiding after I almost killed my best friend,” he whispered back.
“I’m so sorry,” you had a shocked look on your face.
“It’s ok, doll. We’re all fine and dandy now,” he winked, making you feel flustered.
Bucky had the one you felt most friendly with. Nat too but you usually spent most of your time with him. He was just so nice to you and not to mention how incredibly charming and handsome he is.
“Had enough?” Nat said.
“Bitch,” Clint grumbled before sitting down after having failed yet again to lift Thor’s hammer.
“Who’s next!”
You guys went back and forth giving dares to everyone, from making Steve and Bucky have a beer chugging contest, to asking Vision if he had a dick, you know being a robot at all, to you taking three shots of tequila with no chase, ultimately failing and almost dying.
“Ok, we’re doing too many dares; I’m running out of ideas,” Nat laughed.
“Y/n, truth or dare.”
“Truth, I guess,” you said.
“What’s… your biggest fear?” a collection of ‘ooh’s’ and ‘ah’s’ echoed.
“Oh, well uh… clowns,” you chuckled, not really wanting to reveal you real fear; you felt it was kinda stupid.
“Clowns? Bitch, please. What is it for real?” Nat scooted to you.
“Um… well, uh-”
You took a deep breath.
“Being unlovable,” you whispered.
“What? We love you, Y/n. You’re family now; we all love you,” Steve spoke up.
“Yeah we love you,” everyone chimed in.
“I know it’s stupid,” you said, shaking it off.
“It’s not stupid if it’s your biggest fear,” Nat said rubbing your back.
“I guess what I mean is… You know that love where you just think about that person and your palms get sweaty, you start feeling hot, your stomach kind of erupts into butterflies. And it's just because you thought about them. You see their smile and you want to smile too. You see them laugh and it's music to your ears; and all you can think about for the rest of the day is how you can make that person laugh again. And when you touch them, your fingertips start to tingle. Your body turns cold and then they leave and then your body turns really hot and you get super sweaty. That kind of love is so intimate between you and that person. I've never had that and I'm terrified that I never will.”
Everyone looked at you with their full attention. They never really thought about it because they’ve all loved someone. Steve felt that way about Peggy, Tony with Pepper, Nat and Bruce felt that way with each other, Thor had Jane, Clint was married and had a family, Wanda and Vision. It was just you Sam and Bucky and it was obvious you three had never been in love like that.
“How can you say that?” Bucky broke the silence.
“What?”
“How can you be afraid you’ll never be loved? Y/n, any man, woman, anybody would be the luckiest person alive to call you there’s. You are so special and unlike anybody I’ve ever met. I see you smile and it’s like a work of art. Your laugh is the most precious thing I’ve ever heard. Everytime you touch me I can’t help but wish…,” he paused, remembering there were other people around.
“You’re perfect and anyone who can’t see that is goddamn fucking idiot,” he huffed. Bucky didn’t give anyone time to process what he said before he left the room to his own.
“I think I’m done… for the night,” you whispered walking out.
“Yeah good night guys,” Nat followed you out.
Everyone scattered and went to their rooms, tension still in the air. You went to your room and thought about Bucky’s words. It felt like there was something between you two but it was exactly clarified. You changed into sleepwear and decided to talk to Bucky real quick before bed.
“Buck?” you softly knocked on his door.
“Hey,” he said, awkwardly opening the door.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course,” he opened the door wider and closed the door behind you.
“I thought about what you said, tonight.”
“Yeah, I didn’t mean to upset you or make you uncomfortable,” he scratched his neck.
“I’m not upset.”
There was a moment of silence between you.
“Y/n,” he spoke up.
“Yeah?”
“I like you,” he said bluntly.
“So when I heard you say you didn’t know if you were unlovable I got kinda upset because well,” he trailed off.
“Really?” you asked, smiling softly.
“Yeah, I get it if you don’t-”
“No! I do, I do. I like you,” you laughed. Bucky breathed out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He walked closer to you until he stood toe to toe with you. Your stomach fluttered like you wished it would for so long before . You felt hot and resisted the urge to reach out and touch him.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/n,” he cupped your face.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked.
“Yes, please,” you responded.
You melted ainst Bucky when his lips touched yours. You felt unsteady and reached forward to holding his waist, smaller than you originally thought. He walked slowly forward until your knees buckled and you sat on the bed.
You fell back and pulled on top of you making Bucky’s hips settle between your legs. His rough hands felt gentle moving slowly up your body under your shirt. His hands brushed the curve of your breasts making you gasped lightly.
Bucky lips traced your jaw line and you moved your head back giving him room to nip at your neck. Your hands instinctively went to hair and you moaned softly at Bucky's lips on your neck.
You slightly pushed him off of your body and lifted his shirt. Bucky lifted his arms not without a chuckled and discarded to the floor. You moaned at the sight of his muscular torso, your nails lightly scratching him make his abs tighten under your fingertips.
You practically tore your own shirt off before throwing yourself to him kissing him hard. He laughed wrapping his arms around your bare torso bracing himself from falling on the floor with his feet.
“You’re so handsome, Bucky,” you giggled.
“And you’re so gorgeous,” he responded.
You both rid of your bottoms and you laid back for Bucky to hover over you. His eyes were lustful, nearly black, as he stared hungrily into your own. Your skin raised, chills running down your spine. Bucky kissed you as he lined himself with your entrance.
Up until this moment you hadn’t realized how wet you were, arousal practically oozing from you onto your thighs. You peeked in between your bodies and was taken back by his impressive size.
“Is it gonna fit?” you looked up at him.
“Of course. But if not, well there are plenty of ways to give my girl pleasure.”
“Your girl?” you smirked.
“Hell yeah, doll. I didn’t almost reveal that I’ve been waiting to get my hands on your delicious body for nothing.”
“You’re too funny,” you kissed his nose.
“Are you ready?” he asked, his face softening.
“Yeah.”
He pushed himself in sliding easily from your slick. You closed your eyes and moaned as did Bucky, throwing his head back slightly from pleasure.
“You feel fucking amazing, baby,” he groaned.
You just moaned feeling incredibly full. You squeezed his shoulders allowing him permission to move and he resisted thrusting animalistically because you felt so velvety. You felt so warm and perfect; like you made for him and him for you.
“Fuck, Bucky. Harder please. Fuck me hard.”
“You sure honey?” he questioned not wanting to hurt you.
“Yes, please!”
He grabbed your hands and brought them over your head thrusting into like a maniac. Your back arched causing Bucky to hit an entirely new angle making you moan louder.
“God you sound so fucking pretty. Those precious little sounds from me fucking you stupid,” he whispered lowly in your ear.
“Fuuck!” you drew out. Your legs wrapped around Bucky pulling him closer chasing your orgasm.
“Look at that, baby. Look how your pussy’s taking me,” Bucky grunted.
You looked down to see the lewd image of Bucky going and out of you repeatedly. It was so eroctic however, and you moaned before finally feeling the tightened coil in the pit of your stomach burst.
Your back arched once again and your arms wrapped around Bucky’s neck after he let go reaching his own high too. You both moaned before settling in silence; your body trembled under him and Bucky breathed heavily into your shoulder.
“Fuck, that was unbelievable, doll,” Bucky laughed.
“Yeah, man. You’ve got a good dick,” you smirked.
“If you let me, I want to take you out. On a real date,” Bucky said.
“I’d love that,” you smiled.
You two fell asleep that night and woke up in each other's arms. Bucky took out to breakfast, then lunch, and then dinner. You guys didn’t like the food at the restaurant too much so you used Tony’s card that you snuck out and went to McDonald’s dressed highly inappropriately, better dressed for Tony’s party than this.
Nonetheless, it was perfect and that fear you had long disappeared for everyday bucky made sure you knew he loved you. And of course you did the same.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#james buchanan barnes smut#james buchanan barnes#marvel smut#bucky fluff#bucky x y/n#bucky x reader
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Leverage Redemption Pros/Cons List
Okay! Now that I've finally finished watching the first half of Leverage: Redemption, I thought I'd kind of sum up my overall impression. Sort of a pro/con list, except a little more just loosely structured rambles on each bullet point rather than a simple list.
This got way out of hand from what I expected so I'm going to put it all under a cut. If you want the actual bulletpoint list, here it is:
PROS
References
Continuity
Nate
Representation
Themes
New Characters
General Vibe
CONS
'Maker and Fixer'
Episode Twins
Sophie's Stagefright
Thiefsome
You might notice the pros list is longer, and that's because I do love the show! I really like most of what it does, and my gripes are fewer in number and mostly smaller in size. But they do exist and I felt like talking about them as well as the stuff I loved.
PROS
References
There is clearly so much love and respect for the original show here. Quite aside from the general situation, there's a lot of references to individual episodes or character traits from the first show. For example, Parker's comments on disliking clowns, liking puppets, disliking horses, stabbing vs. tasing people. The tasing was an ongoing thing in the original, the stabbing happened once (S1) but was referenced later in the original show, the clown thing only had a few mentions scattered across the entire original show. The puppet thing was mentioned once in S5, and the horses thing in particular was only brought up in S1 once. But they didn't miss the chance to put the nod to it in there; in fact with those alone we see a good mix of common/ongoing jokes and smaller details.
We got "dammit Hardison" and "it's a very distinctive..." but also Eliot and Parker arguing about him catering a mob wedding, and Eliot being delighted by lemon as a secret ingredient in a dish in that same episode (another reference to the mob episode). Hardison and Eliot banter about "plan M", an ongoing joke starting from the very first episode of the original show. We see Sophie bring up Hardison's accent in the Ice Job, Parker also makes reference to an early episode when describing "backlash effect" to Breanna, in an episode that also references her brother slightly if you look for it.
Heck, the last episode of these first eight makes a big deal out of nearly reproducing the iconic opening lines of the original show with Fake Nate's "we provide... an advantage." And I mean, all the "let's go steal a ___" with Harry being confused about how to use them.
Some of the lines are more obviously references to the original show, but they strike a decent balance with smaller or unspoken stuff as well, and also mix in some references between the team to events we the audience have never seen. If someone was coming into this show for the first time, they wouldn't get all the easter egg joy but most of the references would stand on their own as dialogue anyway. In general, I think they struck a good balance of restating needed context for new viewers while still having enough standalone good lines and more-fun-if-you-get-it callbacks.
Continuity
Similar to the last point, but slightly different. The characters' development from the original to now is shown so well. I'm not going to go on about this too long, but the writers clearly didn't want to let the original characters stagnate during the offscreen years. There was a lot of real thought put into how they would change or not.
It's really written well. We can see just how cohesive a team Parker, Hardison, and Eliot became. We get a sense of how they've spent their time, and there's plenty of evidence that they remained incredibly close with Sophie and Nate until this past year. The way everyone defers to Parker is different from the original show and clearly demonstrates how she's been well established as the leader for years now - they show this well even as Parker is stepping back to let Sophie take point in these episodes. Eventually that is actually called out by Sophie in the eighth episode, so we might see more mastermind Parker in the back half of the show, maybe. But even with her leading, it's clear how collaborative the team has become, with everyone bouncing ideas off one another and adding their input freely. Sometimes they even get so caught up they leave the newbies completely in the dust. But for the most part we get a good sense of how the Parker/Hardison/Eliot team worked with her having final say on plans but the others discussing everything together. A little bit more collaborative than it was with Nate at the helm.
Meanwhile Sophie has built a home and is deeply attached to it. She and Nate really did retire, at least for the most part, and she was living her happy ending until he died. She's out of practice but still as skilled as ever, and we're shown how much her grief has changed her and how concerned the others are for her.
There's a lot of emphasis on how they all look after one another and the found family is clearer than ever. Sophie even calls Hardison "his father's son" - clearly referring to Nate.
Nate
Speaking of Nate! They handled his loss so, so well. His story was the most complete at the end of the last show, and just from a narrative point, losing him makes the most sense of all the characters. But the way he dies and his impact on the show and the characters continues. It's very respectful to who he was - who he truly was.
Nate was someone they all loved, but he was a deeply flawed individual. Sophie talks about how he burned too hot, but at least he burned - possibly implying to me that his drinking was related to his death. In any case, there's no mystery to it. We don't know how he died but that's not what's most important about his death. This isn't a quest for revenge or anything... it's just a study of grief and trying to heal.
Back to who he really was real quick - the show doesn't eulogize him as better than he was. They're honest about him. From the first episode's toast they raise in his memory, to the final episode where Sophie and Eliot are deeply confused by Fake Nate singing his praises, the team knows who he was. They don't erase his flaws... but at the same time he was so clearly theirs. He was family, he was the man they trusted and loved and followed into incredibly dangerous situations, and whose loss they all still feel deeply.
That said, the show doesn't harp on this point. They reference him, but they don't overwhelm new viewers with a constant barrage of Nate talk. It always serves a purpose, primarily for Sophie's storyline of moving through her grief. Anyway, @robinasnyder said all of this way better than me here, so go read that as well.
Representation
Or should I say, Jewish Hardison, Autistic Parker, Queer Breanna!
Granted, Hardison's religion isn't quite explicitly stated to be Jewish so much as he mentions that his "Nana runs a multi-denominational household", but nonetheless. He gets the shows big thesis statement moment, he gets a beautiful speech about redemption that is the emotional cornerstone of that episode and probably Harry's entire arc throughout the show. And while I'm not Jewish myself, most of what I've seen from Jewish fans is saying that Hardison's words here were excellent representation of their beliefs. (@featherquillpen does a great job in that meta of contextualizing this with his depiction in the original show as well.)
Autistic Parker, however, is shown pretty dang blatantly. She already was very much coded as autistic in the original show, but the reboot has if anything gone further. She sees a child psychologist because she likes using puppets to represent emotions, she stims, she uses cue cards and pre-written scripts for social interactions, there's mention of possible texture sensitivity and her clothes are generally more loose and comfortable. She's gotten better at performing empathy and understanding how people typically work, but it's specifically described as something she learned how to do and she views her brain as being different from ones that work that way (same link). Again, not autistic myself but from what I've seen autistic fans find a lot to relate to in her portrayal. And best of all, this well-rounded and respectful depiction does not show any of these qualities as a lack on her part. There's no more of those kinda ableist comments or "what's wrong with you" jokes that were in the original show. Parker is the way she is, and that allows her to do things differently. She's loved for who she is, and any effort made to fit in is more just to know how so that she can use it to her advantage when she wants to on the job - for her convenience, not others' comfort.
Speaking of loved for who you are.... okay, again, queer Breanna isn't confirmed onscreen yet, and I don't count Word of God as true canon. But I can definitely believe we're building there. Breanna dresses in a very GNC way, and just her dialogue and, I dunno, vibes seem very queer to me. She has a beautiful speech in the Card Game Job about not belonging or being accepted and specifically mentions "the way they love" as one of those things that made her feel like she didn't belong. And that scene is given so much weight and respect. (Not to mention other hints throughout the episode about how much finding her own space meant to her.) Also, the whole theme of feeling rejected and the key for her to begin really flourishing is acceptance for who she is, not any desire for her to be anyone else, is made into another big moment. Yeah, textually that moment is about her feeling like she has to fill Hardison's shoes and worrying about her past, but the themes are there, man.
Themes
I talked a bit about this yesterday, so I'm mostly just going to link to that post, but... this series so far is doing a really good job in my opinion of giving people arcs and having some good themes. Namely the redemption one, from Hardison's speech (which I'm gonna talk a little more about in the next point), and this overall theme of growing up and looking to the future (from above the linked post).
New Characters
Harry and Breanna are fantastic characters. I was kind of worried about Harry being a replacement Nate, but... he really isn't. Sure, he's the older white guy who has an angsty past but it's in a very different way and his personality and relationships with the rest of the crew are correspondingly different. I think the dynamic of a very friendly, cheerful, kind, but still bad guy (as @soundsfaebutokay points out) is a great one to show, and he's got a really cool arc I think of learning to be a better person, and truly understanding Hardison's point about redemption being a process not a goal. His role on the team also has some interesting applications and drawbacks, as @allegorymetaphor talked about. I've kind of grown to think that the show is gradually building up to an eventual Sophie/Harry romance a ways down the line, and I'm actually here for it. Regardless, his relationships with everyone are really interesting.
As for Breanna, first of all and most importantly I love her. Secondly, I think she's got a really interesting story. She's a link to Hardison's past, and provides a really interesting perspective for us as someone younger who has grown up a) looking up to Leverage and b) in a bleaker and more hopeless world. Breanna's not an optimist, and she's not someone who was self-sufficient and unconcerned with the rest of the world at the start, like everyone else. She believes that the world sucks and she wants it to be better, but she doesn't know how to make that happen. She outright says she's desperate and that's why she's working with Leverage. At the same time, Breanna is pretty down on herself and wants to prove herself but gets easily shaken by mistakes or being scolded, which is a stark contrast to Hardison's general self-confidence. There are several times when she starts to have an idea then hesitates to share it, or expects her emotions to be dismissed, or gets really disheartened when she's corrected or rejected, or dwells on her mistakes, or when she is accepted or praised she usually takes a surprised beat and is shy about it (she almost always looks down and away from the person, and her smile is often small or startled). Breanna looks up to the team so much (Parker especially, then probably Eliot) and she wants to prove herself. It's going to be so good to see her grow.
General Vibe
A brief note, but it seems a fitting one to end on. The show keeps it's overall tone and feeling from the original show. The fun, the competency porn, the bad guys and clever plans and happy endings. It's got differences for sure, but the characters are recognizably themselves and the show as a whole is recognizably still Leverage. For the most part they just got the feeling right, and it's really nice.
CONS (no, not that kind)
'Maker and Fixer'
So when I started writing this meta earlier today, I was actually a lot more annoyed by the lack of unique 'maker' skills being shown by Breanna. Basically the only time she tries to use a drone, the very thing she introduced herself as being good at, it breaks instantly. I was concerned about her being relegated into just doing what Hardison did, instead of bringing her own stuff to the table. But the seventh episode eased some of those fears, and the meta I just wrote for someone else asking about Breanna's 'maker' skills as shown this season made me realize there's more nuance than that. I'd still like to have seen more of that from her, but for now the fact that we don't see a lot of 'maker' from her so far seems more like a character decision based in Breanna's insecurities.
Harry definitely gets more 'inside man' usage. His knowledge as a 'fixer' comes in handy several times. Nonetheless, I'm really curious if there are any bigger ways to use it, aside from him just adding in some exposition/insight from time to time. I'm not even entirely sure how much more they can pull from this premise in terms of relevant skills, but I hope there's more and I'd like to see it. Maybe a con built more around him playing a longer role playing his old self, like they tried in the Tower Job? Maybe it's more a matter of him needed distance from that part of his past, being unable to face it without lashing out - in that case it could be a good character growth moment possibly for him to succeed in being Scummy Lawyer again down the line? I dunno.
Episode Twins
This was something small that kind of bothered me a little earlier in the season. It's kind of the negative side to the references, I guess? And I'm not even sure how much it annoys me really, but I just kinda noticed and felt sort of weird about it.
Rollin' on the River has a lot of references/callbacks to the The Wedding Job.
The Tower Job has a lot of references/callbacks to The White Rabbit Job.
The Paranormal Hacktivity Job has a lot of references/callbacks to the Future Job.
I guess I was getting a little concerned that there would be a 'match this episode' situation where almost every new Redemption episode is very reminiscent of an old one. I love the callbacks, but I don't want to see a lack of creativity in this new show, and this worried me for a minute. Especially when it was combined with all three of those episodes dealing with housing issues of some kind. Now, that's a huge concern for a lot of people, and each episode has its own take on a different problem within that huge umbrella, but it still got me worried about a lack of variety in topics/cases.
The rest of the episodes failing to line up so neatly in my head with older episodes helped a lot to ease this one, though. Still, this is my complaining section so I figured I'd express my concerns as they were at the time. Even if I no longer really worry about it much.
Sophie's Stagefright
Yeah, I know this is just a small moment in a single episode, but it annoyed me! Eliot made a bit of a face at Sophie going onstage, but I thought it was just him being annoyed at the general situation. However, they started out with her being awful up there until she realized the poem was relevant to the con - at which point her reading got so much better.
This felt like a complete betrayal of Sophie's beautiful moment at the end of the original show where she got over her trouble with regular acting and played Lady Macbeth beautifully in front of a full theater of audience members. This was part of the con, but only in the sense that it gave her an alibi/place to hide, and I always interpreted it as her genuinely getting over her stagefright problems. It felt like such a beautiful place to end her arc for that show, especially after all her time spent directing.
Now, her difficulty onstage in the Card Game Job was brief and at the very beginning of being up on stage. @rinahale suggested to me that maybe it was a deliberate tactic to draw the guy's attention, and the later skill was simply her shifting focus to make the sonnet easier for Breanna to listen to and interpret, but he seemed more enraptured when she was doing well than otherwise in my opinion and it just doesn't quite sit well with me. My other theory was that maybe she just hasn't been up on stage in a long time, and much like she complaining about being rusty at grifting before the team pushed her into trying, she got nervous for a moment at the very beginning. The problem there is that I think she'd definitely still get involved in theater even when she and Nate were retired. I guess she could've quit after he died, and a year might be long enough to make her doubt herself again, but... still.
I just resent that they even left it ambiguous at all. Sophie's skills should be solid on stage at this point in my opinion.
Thiefsome
...And now we come to my main complaint. This is, by far, the biggest issue I have with the show.
I feel like I should put a disclaimer here that I had my doubts from the beginning about the thiefsome becoming canon onscreen. I thought the famous "the OT3 is safe" tweet could easily just mean that they are all still alive and well, or all still working together, without giving us confirmation of a romantic relationship. Despite this, the general fandom expectations/hopes really got to me, especially with the whole "lock/pick/key" thing. I tried to temper my expectations again when the character descriptions came out and only mentioned Hardison loving Parker, not Eliot, but I still got my hopes up.
The thing is, I was disappointed pretty quickly.
The very first episode told me that in all likelihood we would never see Hardison and Parker and Eliot together in a romantic sense. Oh, there was so much coding. So much hinting. So much in the way of conversations that were about Parker/Hardison's relationship but then Eliot kept getting brought into them. They were portrayed as a unit of three.
But then there was this.
I love all of those scenes of Parker and Hardison being intimate and loving and comfortable with one another and their relationship. I really do. But it didn't escape my notice that there's nothing of the sort with Eliot. If they wanted a canon onscreen thiefsome, it would by far make the most sense to just have it established from the start. But there aren't any scenes where Eliot shares the same kind of physical closeness with either of them like they do each other. Parker and Hardison kiss; he doesn't kiss anyone. They have several clearly romantic conversations when alone; he gets important conversations with both but the sense of it being romantic isn't there.
Establishing Eliot as part of the relationship after Hardison is gone just... doesn't make any sense. It would be more likely to confuse new viewers, to make them wonder if Parker is cheating on Hardison with Eliot, or if they have a Y shaped relationship rather that a triangle. It would be so much clumsier.
Still, up until the Double-Edged-Sword Job I believed the writers might keep it at this level of 'plausible hinting but not quite saying'. There's a lot of great stuff with all of them, and I never expecting making out or whatever anyway; a cheek-kiss was about the height of my hopes to be honest. I mostly just hoped for outright confirmation and, failing that, I was happy enough to have the many hints and implications.
But then Marshal Maria Shipp came along. And I don't really have anything against her as a character - in fact, I think she has interesting story potential and will definitely come back. But the episode framed her fight with Eliot as a sexyfight TM, much like his fight with Mikel back in the day. And then his flirting with her rode the line a little of "he's playing her for the con" and "he's genuinely flirting." The scene where he tells her his real name is particularly iffy, but actually was the one that convinced me he was playing her. Because he seems to be watching her really closely, and to be very concerned about her figuring out who he really is. I am very aware though that I'm doing a lot of work to interpret it the way I want. On surface appearance, Eliot's just flirting with an attractive woman, like he did on the last show. And that's probably the intention, too.
But the real nail in the coffin for me was when Sophie compared herself and Nate to Eliot and Maria. That was a genuine scene, not the continuation of the teasing from before. And Sophie is the one whose insight into people is always, always trustworthy. She is family to the thiefsome. For this to make any sense, either Eliot/Parker/Hardison isn't a thing, or they are and Sophie doesn't know - and I can't imagine why in the hell she wouldn't know.
Any argument to make them still canon leaves me unsatisfied. If she knows and they haven't admitted it to her - why wouldn't they, after all this time? Why would she not have picked up on it even without an outright announcement? Some people suggested they wouldn't admit it because they thought Nate would be weird about it, but that doesn't seem any more in character to me than the other possibilities. In fact, the only option that doesn't go against my understanding of these people and their observational abilities/the close relationship they share.... is that the thiefsome is not a thing.
And furthermore, the implication of this conversation - especially the way it ended, with Eliot stomping off looking embarrassed while Sophie smiled knowingly - is that Eliot will get into another relationship onscreen. Maybe not a full-blown romantic relationship. But the Maria Shipp tension is going to be resolved somehow, and at this point I'm half-expecting a hook-up simply because of Sophie's reaction and how much I trust her judgement of such things. Even if she's letting her grief cloud her usual perceptiveness... it feels iffy.
It just kinda feels like I wasn't even allowed to keep my "interpret these hints/maybe they are" thiefsome that I expected after the first couple episodes convinced me we wouldn't get outright confirmation. (I mean, I will anyway, and I love the hints and allusions regardless.) And while I'm definitely not the kind of fan who is dependent on canon for my ships, and still enjoy all their interactions/will keep right on headcanoning them all in a relationship, it's just.... a bummer.
Feels like a real cop-out. Like the hints of Breanna being queer are enough to meet their quota and they won't try anything 'risky' like a poly relationship. I dunno. It's annoying.
.
That's the end of the list! Again, overall I love the new show a lot and have few complaints.
#leverage#leverage redemption#leverage spoilers#leverage meta#my meta#this turned into a BIG ol ramble#i planned to write like a couple of sentences for each point but noooo
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FUCK IT, DREAM SMP HOMESTUCK AU
but it's only half shitposts and there are actual Thoughts in there.
You don't need to have read the comic to understand because I tried not to spoil anything major, but it'd help if you knew basic stuff about classpects, SBURB and the hemospectrum.
disclaimer: i'm not a good pixel artist and this is my first actual sprites ever so please be kind to my weird pixels
The Kids:
Tommy
Fundy
Techno
Tubbo
tommy, tubbo and fundy one of the kids because they're the kids in dream smp canon (with fundy being son of wilbur)
techno's there because i want to make a dave strider reference (haha get it because techno's name is also da-- *gets shot) and also because they are both coolguys except instead of using irony, techno has adhd
The Trolls:
Wilbur Soohte (fuschia)
?????? Ehrret (violet)
J????? Shlatt (purple)
Nihacu Niikki (indigo)
Skeppy Diamon (cerulean)
Quacki Tthiey (teal)
Philza Myncra (jade)
Dreame Wastkn (lime disguising as olive)
George Notfou (gold)
Sapphe Nahfpe (bronze)
Badboy Haelow (burgundy)
don't come at me saying only females are allowed to be jades and fuschias; gender is fake and this is an au
more of the AU and the talksprites are under the cut:
Tommy
Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Red
chaotic. the first person to be introduced.
when he gets introduced instead of the “Zoosmell Pooplord” bit, Tommy is initially going to be the name inputted but then backspaced it and decided that Tommyinnit was better and he was fuming until he’s named Tommy.
Gives me big Blood/Hope vibes. Blood because a lot of the conflict of the dream smp connected to someone breaking his trust or harming the things he cares about, Hope because a lot of the plot of the dream smp stems from Tommy starting shit based on his ideals and what he thinks is right.
the first to instigate fighting against the trolls
bbh contacts him once and tommy keeps cursing until he disconnects from frustration rip
wields Gunkind and his only strife weapon at the beginning is the Vlog gun. He has Gunkind as his strife specibus mainly because he looked up at schlatt and he imitates him.
Fundy
Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Orange
it was his idea to play SBURB but only through Dream.
he talks to dream the most among the other trolls fwt stans getcha juice this is the rosemary of the session
dream’s the one giving him exposition about the game so that’s how he knows how to play SBURB.
wilbur trolls fundy once and instantly adopts him.
“You’re my son.” “How does that even work??” “I was one of the people who created your universe. It’s basically the same thing.”
Fundy relents anyway.
Techno
Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Pink
dave strider but dead-inside voice + rose lalonde english major vibes
he slices the text box when you try to name him "Dave " like in
techno gives me time player vibes (contantly on the move. his skyblock series, his “stays in the pit” monologue,) but also rage vibes (anarchy, the “theseus” monologue, political alignment is Chaos) alas i am not sure what class
uses Tridentkind and claims "it came from god"
it was dream, he accidentally transportalized one of wilbur’s weapon while he testing the transportalizer.
Tubbo
Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Green
the jade harley of this session. the only thing keeping them from going apeshit. where would they be without him.
but also jade harley in a sense that he seems nice and wholesome but also don’t fuck with them they can mess you up
Heart/Life vibes??? someone good at classpecting help
i put them in prospit bc of the "tubbo third eye" instead of tubbo having a sixth sense or smth, they see the future from the clouds of skaia when they sleep
wields Stress-relieverKind at some point
bonus: everyone’s actual hair colors
Ideas about the Trolls
no i haven’t done their sprites yet bc it would take so much time and i’m not even sure if people wanna see more of this au skjdkdsakdfkl,, but i have Design Ideas.
events of the dsmp revolution are just a FLARP session drawing parallels to how the homestuck trolls had a FLARP session that spoiler alert: destroyed friendships. dtrio, eret, will are involved. eret betrays will's faction and wilbur's still Bitter over that.
on the context of alternia (highbloods and lowbloods) lmanburg and dreamsmp have their roles SWAPPED. the emancipation theme thing is completely gone since highbloods are in more power than the lowbloods (the dream team) .
wilbur made a faction called l’manburg because he wants a place where he and his fellow highbloods could make drugs vibe.they take a piece of land that was owned by the dream team. in normal circumstances, they shouldve stood down because lowbloods aren't supposed to start shit with highbloods (especially a group of highbloods that has the alternian heir among them) but dream turned it into an activism thing about lowblood rights. the story plays as close as possible without tommy or tubbo in it (which is pretty hard ik but this is the best can do).
like in the dreamsmp revolution, dream kinda let wilbur do what he wants but this time he has more reason to because he’s in a lower caste. dream really only fought back when wilbur announced that he’d be building lmanburg on their land and calling it theirs.
eret betrays wilbur by supporting the lowbloods and wilbur and co. technically won but only because he finally called the drones in, as a reference to how lmanburg absolutely got crushed by the dream team in the smp but technically won. l’manburg keeps the piece of land and the dream team scatter away to find a new home.
wilbur soot's a fuschia because a) he's in a position that has a lot of power, b) yknow how he wrote a song about squids and his thing with sally… yeah.
eret's a violet because nobility!! dream looks down on him because he's ambivalent on fighting for lowblood rights when he's in a power to do so "you just sit there, and you look pretty that's it"
also like eridan he has a minor aesthetic mutation (herobrine eyes) that won't classify him as a mutant.
jschlatt is purple because it makes sense thematically because of the gamzee parallels (a. substance abuse b. if you know what happens in act 6, you know this already but spoiler alert, he ruins the main protagonists' lives) also he's a funnyman he deserves the clown caste
quackity's a teal because he’s a law student. moving on--
ok but for real it also makes sense thematically because he's the one who wrote the thing that tricked schlatt into agreeing also he gets manipulated by schlatt which also draws parallels to certain events in the comic
skeppy and bbh are BEST FRIENDS despite being highblood and lowblood respectively. initially, skeppy just wanted to bother bbh but they grew to be good friends in time. y’know like how they actually becane friends :D
philza minecraft is a jade because dad friend. also works thematically, because spoiler alert he gets to murder a seadweller for going batshit crazy.
he also god tiers early. he dies fighting his quick undead denizen (haha baby zombie) but the consorts of his land carry him to his quest bed because he’s treated them all so well.
dream was initially going to be another caste but then i realized that means i have to make his hoodie something other than green which is unacceptable so its a good thing the fact that he's a lime works out
dream was the one who thought of playing sgrub in the first place- initially only planned to have gogy, sap, and bbh in the session but then realized that they four won't be enough so he invited more into his session
he’s also the first to go godtier ez clap blind speedrun not sure what classpect tho
the only reason why dream avoided being culled at birth for being a limeblood is because his rng is That Good. he quickly picked up the fact that he’s not supposed to exist and masqueraded as an oliveblood and kept mostly to himself to avoid suspicion.
george is still colorblind but he has lazer eyes along with it instead. dream lives with him in the same hive since being a mutant means dream doesn’t get a lusus of his own (dnf fans getcha juice “and they were roommates”)
despite living in the same hive, he never really figures out that dream is a limeblood. possibly because a) he’s colorblind and when he sees dream bleeding he just sees yellow b) he’s just that fucking oblivious and it’s so valid of him.
sapnap’s a bronzeblood mainly because i know he’s the instigator of the pet war with tommy also because i associate him with the color orang in my mind so bronze it is
that’s the end of this long-ass post!! if you have other ideas PLEASE i want to hear them. i don’t know the other streamers i mentioned in here very well so if you have ideas that would be fitting to them like with classpect or lunar sway that would be GREAT.
the only thing i’m confident about in here are the kids’ lunar sways. i’m not an expert in classpects and homestuck lore so there’s that too!! i just wanted to make this post because adhd means that the idea wouldn’t shut up until i finished it. This initially started as a single shitpost edit of tommyinnit talksprite but then the hiveswap 2 trailer came out and that means i have to combine my two hyperfixations.
also i have ideas about potential quadrants but idk how much of that is breaking some streamers’ boundaries about shipping (even the non romantic quads such as kismesistude, morallegiance and auspisticism) so i decided not to include it.
edit: apparently people want more so i made a discord server as a place to brainstorm!! please pm me to join!
#dream smp#mcyt#mcytblr#dream smp au#homestuck#sleepy bois inc#one of those tags is not like the other#tommyinnit#tubbo#tubbo_#tubbolive#fundy#fundylive#itsfundy#technoblade#dream team#wilbur soot#wilbur mcyt#eret mcyt#jschlatt#quackity#skeppy#badboyhalo#philza#dreamwastaken#georgenotfound#sapnap#homestuck au#reblog this to curse ur mutuals' feeds with Unexpected Homestuck in 2020
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Intellectual Adequacy
Stan hates to start any unnecessary conflict, especially when there’s a very real chance that Ford will be moving to California next year, but he knows deep down that if they don’t talk about this now then he’ll never have the courage to bring it up again.
“Wait,” Stan shouts to Ford, and he stops dead in his tracks.
~~
Notes: In which one little plot bunny that was preventing me from getting any work done becomes its own rabbit hole.
I genuinely cannot believe that in the six-seven years I've been in this fandom, I've never tried my hand at the fix-it-fic where Stan and Ford just talk it out as teenagers, just like they should've in canon. I've seen a lot of different approaches, but I feel like I've yet to see one that tackles it from the perspective of Stan's own battle with his self-worth, rather than the actions he or Ford have already taken.
AO3
Stan hates the principal’s office more than anywhere else in the world.
He swears, he’s called down every other week for something that’s not even his fault. He punched Crampelter in the nose for harassing some poor freshman? Principal’s office. He talks back to a teacher calling his classmate stupid for forgetting an “obvious” geometry equation? Principal’s office. He accidentally drops his pencil during an exam and bends over to pick it up? He must be cheating. Principal’s office.
If you asked him, the whole idea of sending kids to the principal’s office is pointless to begin with. Oh, you did something bad, and now we’re gonna make the big man in charge tell your mommy and daddy? How old do these people think they are?
Stan wishes he could say that this time is okay because they’re not even talking to him. They’re talking up a storm to Ford in there about another college scholarship and all the reasons why he and he alone would be the perfect candidate for some random school all the way out in California
But it’s not okay, because the longer Stan sits in the dumb waiting room the more he’s starting to feel like chopped liver. They’ve been in there for at least five minutes with no sign of stopping anytime soon, but every time Stan asks the secretary if he can just go back to class already she dismisses him with a wave of her hand and it’ll be your turn soon, sit back down.
He’s thinking of just sneaking out the next time the secretary buries her nose back into her magazine. It’s simple: just wait for her to pull it out from her desk, sneak by as quick as he can, and slip out the door and back to class before she can even notice he’s gone.
He stands from his chair, pretending to stretch and preparing to execute, but freezes solid when he hears his name being spoken from within the principal’s office.
“…What about our little free spirit Stanley?”
It’s Ma, and whatever it is they’re talking about in there, she isn’t happy about it. Frowning, Stan glances over at the secretary to make sure that she isn’t staring at him, and presses his ear to the office door to listen to their conversation more carefully.
The principal laughs in response. “That clown? At this rate he’ll be lucky if he graduates high school”
Stan’s taken aback by the harsh choice of words, but if he knows Ford, then he won’t just sit there and let the principal talk about him like that. He presses his ear further into the door, waiting for Ford to interrupt the principal’s rambling about how he’s never going to amount to anything with you just don’t know him like I do, or something along those lines, but it never comes.
Not a single interjection that…anything he’s saying is wrong. Not from Pa, not from Ford….and not even from Ma.
They don’t…all really believe that, right?
There has to be something else he’s missing. He bets they’re defending his honor right now, and the reason they’re not making a big scene about it is because they’re in public.
Yeah.
He’s got nothing to worry about.
He peeks into the window, expecting to see Ma glaring daggers into the principal, or Ford silently cursing him out behind his back, but what he’s met with is so much worse. Ma and Pa are exchanging warm smiles, and Ford is frantically shaking hands with the principal, beaming brighter than Stan’s ever seen in his entire life.
Matter of fact, Stan’s not sure he’s ever seen any of them look so happy in his entire life.
He’s worthless, he’ll never go anywhere, and they’re all smiling about it.
Stan’s heart drops to his stomach, and he slides to the floor to join it.
Is this some kind of cruel joke? Were they expecting him to listen in on their conversation? Is this their cruel workaround of telling him he’ll never amount to shit?
He sighs.
He stays there on the cold tiled floor for what feels like hours, contemplating all the times he’s been called dumb, or stupid, or a terrible influence on his brother. All of those times when he could brush it off just because it was coming from someone he didn’t care about.
But worthless?
Behind his back, spoken directly to people he loves, and they won’t even bother to defend him?
That one’s new, and if Stan is going to be completely honest with himself, it’s much harder to brush off his shoulders than all those other times.
Stan doesn’t even notice the office door opening until it nearly smacks him in the back of his head. He quickly jumps to his feet and brushes himself off, pretending the best that he can that he wasn’t just eavesdropping on them for the past ten minutes.
“Stanley!” Ford comes bursting out of the room, his grin threatening to split his face in two. “I just received the most incredible news! The admissions team at West Coast Tech heard about my science fair project, and-”
The beam suddenly slips from his face, replaced with some sort of mix of confusion and concern. “Is...Something wrong?”
Stan rubs at his eyes to make sure he hadn’t started tearing up without realizing it, but no, his eyes are bone dry.
Curse Ford’s stupid ability to read his mind.
Stan covers up the gesture of rubbing at his eyes with a yawn, and stretches his arms in the air. “Nothing except you taking forever in there” he flashes a fake smile easily. “Talk about a blabbermouth, am I right?” Stan gestures towards the principal with his thumb.
Ford laughs, and returns his gaze to the pamphlet in his hands. “I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t think he’s so bad”
Stan opens his mouth to quip back, but Ford doesn’t seem to be paying much attention anymore. He’s just staring at that dumb pamphlet, his grin slowly but surely returning to his face again.
Instead, Stan shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs, turning his gaze to the floor. “Yeah, I guess you’re right”
~~~
Stan feels like he’s in a haze for the rest of the day. Even when he tries to focus on class to take his mind off of things and redirect it on anything else, he can’t get his mind to stick. Not even final period gym class can save him, which is really saying something, because the gymnasium is usually the one place where he thrives.
Worthless.
The word won’t stop bouncing around in his skull, hitting him where he’s most sensitive.
It doesn’t help a thing that Ford is dead silent on their walk home from school. He’s usually chatting up a storm to Stan about stuff he doesn’t really understand, and under normal circumstances Stan can’t wait to get home so he can bury his head in his pillow and drown out the sound of Ford’s babbling.
But today he’s not even looking in Stan’s direction, just burying his nose in the West Coast Tech brochure with stars in his eyes, and now Stan wants nothing more than to hear Ford babbling on about his advanced physics classes.
It’s almost insulting.
Stan sighs, and lightly taps on Ford’s shoulder to catch his attention. “Can we talk?”
“Hmm?” Ford blinks, like he needs a few moments to readjust to reality. “Oh! Of course. I was actually planning on asking you the same thing” he places the brochure in his pocket. “Same place as always?”
Stan nods. “Same place as always”.
It’s a quick change of direction and a shortcut to the beach before they find themselves on their old swing set. By now they’re both too heavy to use it properly without a risk of snapping it, but they still find it’s a good place to go when they just need to get away and talk.
“You’re not really thinking of going to that stuffy old school, are you?” Stan asks as soon as Ford sits on the swing beside him. “They’ve gotta be crazy if they think four more years of essays and exams are better lookin’ than tanned babes and gold chains. We’re so close to finishing up the Stan-O-War. Soon as graduation rolls around we’re outta here, just like we always promised”.
Ford chuckles. “That is a nice thought, but…” he pulls the brochure out of his pocket again, and unfolds it for Stan to see. “You have to understand that I can’t just pass up an opportunity like this. Maybe I don’t need a degree from any old state school, but this is West Coast Tech we’re talking about!” he beams, the stars returning to his eyes. “They’ve got cutting edge technology and multidimensional paradigm theory”
Stan rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but admit to himself it’s nice to have his brother back again after an entire day of radio silence.
“Beep boop, giant nerd robot oncoming” Stan punches Ford in the arm.
Ford’s grin only widens. “I figured you’d say that, but it’s too late to change my mind. The head of admissions already flew in this morning, and with my go-ahead they’re going to check out my science fair project later tonight and let me know then and there if they want me at their school”
“Well that seems kind of harsh” Stan quips. “What if they say no?”
Ford shrugs. “Well, then it’s like you said. If they don’t want me, you and I sail off on the Stan-O War and never look back”.
Stan frowns at the strong emphasis on if. He really thinks he’s going to get this, doesn’t he? Stan can’t exactly blame him when he’s been the reigning valedictorian of their class every year since they were kids.
“And if they say yes?”
Ford grins. “Well, then you better visit me on the other side of the country” he punches Stan in the shoulder, and stands to his feet without saying another word.
Stan can’t bring himself to join him. He knows that Ford didn’t mean anything by it, but he can’t help feel wounded by his brother’s implication that while he’s off in California having the time of his life, Stan’s still gonna be stuck living with their parents in New Jersey.
It’s just like their principal said. He’ll never amount to anything anyway, so why wouldn’t he stay in New Jersey? Where else would a worthless piece of shit like him end up?
Stan shifts on his swing and watches as Ford walks away, and he can’t help but wonder just how much of the principal’s tangent that Ford believed.
All of it?
Some of it?
Had Ford even been listening to what he said at all?
As he continues to watch his brother walk away, he can’t help the feeling in his gut that he has to know. He hates to start any unnecessary conflict, especially when there’s a very real chance that Ford will be moving to California next year, but Stan knows deep down that if they don’t talk about this now then he’ll never have the courage to bring it up again.
“Wait,” Stan shouts to Ford, and he stops dead in his tracks.
“Yeah?” Ford says, turning around to face him. Stan suddenly finds himself very aware of his heart loudly pounding against his chest, but he forces himself to squash that down. He’s never felt shy or anxious about asking his brother anything, and he sure as hell isn’t letting that start now.
“You don’t…uh,” he swallows. “You don’t think I’m…worthless, do you?”
Ford looks appalled. He neatly folds the brochure back into his pocket and starts walking- no, jogging, almost sprinting back to the swing set. He pauses in front of the empty swing beside Stan for a moment, like he’s debating whether he should sit down or not, but eventually he shakes his head and sits down anyway.
“What on earth makes you say that?” There’s a hint of anger to his tone, but Stan’s not entirely convinced it’s directed at him. “Why would I think you’re worthless? You’re my twin brother! What could’ve possibly put the idea in your head that I thought that?”
There’s a tiny voice in the back of his head screaming at him to back out, brush it off with a joke and have this conversation later, but there’s an even louder voice shouting at him that it needs to be had now.
Stan sighs. “I…overheard everything in the principal’s office today”
Ford blinks, like he doesn’t understand a word that Stan just said. “About…West Coast Tech? Is this because you’re afraid that I’ll get in, but you know you won’t because you’re not even interested in applying anyway, but you know you’re going to miss me, and you’re not sure if you can handle-”
“About me, Sixer!” Stan shouts, and tries his damn hardest to ignore the waver in his voice. “He practically called me a useless piece of shit directly to Ma and Pa and neither of them said a word about it!” He scrubs his hands down his face because he’s not choking up, not over something so pointless and stupid. “You’re going to travel the world and become the smartest person the scientific community has ever seen, or whatever, but me? Apparently I’ll always be stuck here in New Jersey to pick up after everyone else’s messes, because that’s all I’m ever good for”
Stan buries his face in his hands. He hadn’t meant to blow up, and he certainly hadn’t meant to direct his anger at Ford, but he just feels so hopeless, and he’s the only one around who’s willing to listen. He wouldn’t be surprised if Ford returned with anger of his own, or told him off for being selfish, or even if he just decided to stand up and walk away from him for being such an embarrassment.
The silence that follows is thick and heavy. Stan is so convinced that he must’ve driven Ford away that when he feels a hand on his shoulder he nearly jumps a mile out of his skin. When he finally pulls his hands out of his face to meet Ford’s eyes, his face is flushed pink and he looks…embarrassed.
“Stan, I had no idea, I…” he awkwardly pulls his hand away and grips tightly to the chain of his swing. Stan can see Ford’s face shifting through about a dozen different emotions at once. “I…must’ve been too focused on everything else to realize he was saying those things about you.” He shakes his head. “I know it’s not an excuse, but…” he sighs. “I’m sorry”
There’s another bout of silence between them. Stan’s half-expecting that to be the end of it, and for Ford to walk away without another word.
But Ford breaks the silence with a sigh, and when Stan glances over at him he’s staring down at the ground.
“If it’s any consolation...you’re much smarter than me in a lot more places than you realize”
Okay, now Stan has to laugh. “Okay, now you’re being too nice to me. You don’t need to lie to make me feel better”
“I’m serious!” Ford’s cheeks flush pink again, and he adjusts his glasses before returning his gaze towards Stan. “There’s actually been a fascinating number of studies about intelligence lately, and, well…” Ford’s face is turning redder by the minute, Stan swears. “It turns out that…there’s more than one type”
Stan raises an eyebrow. “You’re losing me here, Sixer”
“Well, you see, I thrive in academic intelligence. Math, science, history, you know, school stuff. That’s the most commonly known type of intelligence because a lot of our formative years are based on it”
Stan doesn’t say anything, just raises his eyebrow even further.
“But,” Ford continues quickly, “They’ve also made discoveries about the existence of social intelligence”
“Social?” Stan blinks, suddenly finding himself significantly more interested. “You mean like talking to people and stuff?”
Ford nods. “Precisely. They say people with high social intelligence are much better at picking up on social cues, and can make friends with others much easier than those with lower social intelligence.” Ford kicks at the sand. “The reason social intelligence hasn’t been recognized is because it’s often mistaken for having a friendly personality”. His face flushes pink again, like he’s afraid he said the wrong thing. “Not that a person can’t have both, but…”
Stan smirks, nudging at Ford with his elbow. “Stanford Pines, are you calling your good-for-nothing brother intelligent?” He teases, but can’t help the genuine smile creeping to his face.
“Think about it!” Ford throws an arm into the air, the other one tightly gripped on the swing to prevent himself from falling off. “Every time Ma and Pa leave us in charge of the shop so they can go to Atlantic City for the weekend, who’s the one bringing in all the customers? Who’s the one selling out our daily stock less than two hours after we’re open? You are, Stan, just by being yourself. You know how to persuade people into buying our stock at ten times the listed price.”
“You can’t learn that from twelve years of public school. They can try to teach you, but at the end of the day it’s all about your ability to connect with people” Ford rubs at his arm. “I’ve tried teaching myself those kinds of tricks for years, but at the end of the day…” he shakes his head. “I’ve never been able to catch up.” He smiles. “I raise my white flag to you, Stan. You’ve outsmarted the smartest brother in the world”
Stan chuckles. “Try telling that to Principal Comb-over. He hears you saying the so-called dumbest clown in the entire school system is smarter than you and he’s going to cart you away to the loony bin”
Ford laughs. “You know, now that I think about it, there may actually be a way to tell him off for what he said about you and get away with it scott-free”
Stan raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? How so?”
Ford smirks. “I think you should try to graduate out of spite”
Stan’s not sure he follows. “Whaddya mean?”
“I mean, think about it” Ford stands from his swing and begins to pace back and forth. “The principal called both of us down even though he only wanted to speak to me, and then he talked shit about you even though he knew you were sitting right outside his door?” he pauses in his pacing. “Stan, he knew that you could hear him. Maybe he didn’t intend for you to listen in when he was talking to Ma and Pa about my scholarship opportunity, but he knew you’d be listening the moment you were brought up in the conversation”
That’s…true. Stan was just about to sneak out before he heard them say his name.
“He’s expecting you to fail, and he wants to put it in everyone else’s head too. He thinks it’s the easy way out, because if you choose to fail out on your own than he doesn’t have to take responsibility for being such a shitty educator. It gives him the chance to say look how he didn’t even try instead of look at how we failed him.”
“But if you proved him wrong? Imagine the look on his face when he has to be the one to place that diploma in your hand. Imagine him having to look you dead in the eyes and tell you he’s proud of you. You’ll know he’s speaking bullshit, but he knows he can’t talk shit about you anymore without making himself look bad.” Ford smirks. “Matter of fact, imagine the looks on the faces of everyone who’s ever doubted you walking across that stage. Pa alone is gonna have a heart attack”
Ford’s smile softens. “I already know that you’re much smarter than you’re given credit for, and I think it’s about time that everyone else recognizes that too”.
Stan’s cheeks burn red, and he shyly kicks at the sand. “Heh, thanks. I appreciate it.” He says. “But even if I did manage to graduate, what am I supposed to do with a high school diploma? Every job application I’ve been skinning through recently says college, college, college”
“Well…” Ford taps at his chin. “Then why not go out for college?”
Okay, now he’s taking things too far.
“Pardon?” Stan mocks, because if Ford thinks that Stan’s going to willingly take four more years of classes than maybe he should be carted away to a loony bin.
“I’m serious!” Ford blushes. “Maybe not a high intensity school like West Coast Tech, but college is so much more freeing than high school, Stanley. It’s not class after class on subjects that other people tell you to take. It’s personalized. If you hate science class so much, you never have to take another science class again”
Ford’s blush darkens. “I know that school is a big drag and all, but if you asked me?” he averts his gaze. “I think you’d really benefit from business school. Charisma and social intelligence is the number one thing that big name businesses are looking for, and I know you’re filled to the brim with both. Ultimately it is your decision, but…” Ford fiddles with his thumbs. “Just…just consider it, okay?”
For a brief moment, Stan just wants to burst out into hysterical laughter. Ford’s been offered the opportunity of a lifetime at one of the best schools in the country, and he’s still taking the time to help out his good-for-nothing brother who’s been cheating off of his exams for the past ten years.
Instead he settles for a roll of his eyes. “Alright, Professor Poindexter, I’ll consider it”
Ford giggles at that, and for a few moments neither of them says anything, watching the waves gently lapping on the beach in the short distance. It’s a comfortable silence, a reassuring sort of feeling that Stan hasn’t felt in a long time.
The frantic beeping of Pa’s wristwatch interrupts them, and both boys flinch at the sound in unison. For a moment Stan is worried that Pa’s standing behind them having heard every word, but when he glances over at Ford, he sees him rolling up his shirt sleeve to reveal that he’s the one wearing the watch, and clicks the alarm off.
“Pa made me borrow it so I wouldn’t be late for the presentation with the school board” he rubs awkwardly at the back of his head. “I’ll probably give it back as soon as I get home tonight”
Stan smirks. “You still hate the sound of that thing too, huh?”
“I can still hear it in my nightmares,” Ford exaggerates, his eyes going wide, and the twins burst into laughter as they both stand from the swings and stretch their arms and legs to wake them up from sitting for so long.
Ford wipes at his eye as he fidgets with the wristwatch. “So…do you think you’re going to be okay?”
That in itself is a pretty loaded question that could take him all night to answer, but all things considering…
“Yeah,” Stan smiles. “I think I’ll be okay”
Ford smiles back, and gestures with his thumb towards the direction of the pawn shop. “Then I’m going to head home and get ready for my presentation. You coming?”
Stan shakes his head. “I think I’ll stay out here and just…watch the ocean for a little while longer”
Ford’s smile softens, but he doesn’t say anything else. He turns heel and walks back towards the house, and it feels as though a giant weight has just been lifted off of Stan’s chest. He glances back to watch Ford go, but finds comfort in the feeling that he feels nothing at all.
~~~
Nearly five hours later, Stan sits at home, watching television on the couch to pass the time. Just out of the corner of his eye he sees Ford slip into the kitchen and gently click the door closed. Stan shuts the TV off, and spins around on the couch to face his brother.
“Well?” Stan asks, though he knows he doesn’t even need to bother asking, given that Ford looks like he’s about to burst. With a shaking hand, Ford reaches into his pocket and pulls out a glinting white envelope.
If he’s trying to keep an air of mystery about it, he’s doing a really bad job, because all at once his composure breaks and the smile that spreads across his face looks as though it could burn out the sun.
“They loved me!” He shouts, excitedly pacing the floor. “They told me they’ve never seen anyone else like me!”
His smile is so contagious that it hurts.
Perhaps another day, in another timeline, Stan would take offense to Ford’s excitement to bounce off to the other end of the country without him. Perhaps he’d even lash out, or do something he would’ve immediately regretted.
But here and now, Stan couldn’t be happier for his brother if he tried.
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intellectual guesswork.
Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader
a/n: another ajf update that requires absolutely no context to enjoy! i love you all so much. send some extra love to your favorite writers this week :)
one quick thing - if you’re on my taglist, please consider dropping a reply or a reblog! i love to see what you all think, and it encourages me to keep going :) it’s also getting a bit long, and i want to make sure my mutuals and people who engage are seeing everything - tumblr sometimes has a hard time with a lot of mentions.
words: 1.6k warnings: none!
summary: “ignorance of the law excuses no man - from practicing it.” - addison mizner. au!may 2008
masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist | what do you want to see next? edited: january 12th, 2021
You all settle into one row. Aaron’s on the end beside you, looking very sharp in a crisp black suit, his favorite Rolex, and a settled kind of confidence you’ve only seen in him a few times. It’s like he’s in his natural habitat.
Aaron’s record as a federal prosecutor speaks for itself, of course, but you’ve never seen him in action. As often as they can, the bureau’s leadership sends him in as an expert witness. This time, the case happens to be one of yours. The judge hasn’t required a sequestration for Aaron, so you get the treat of sitting together in the courtroom.
He’s scoffed and mumbled snide remarks under his breath all morning. You’re just itching to see him get up on the stand and give this joker an education.
Emily leans over, whispering in your ear. “I promise you’ve never seen anything like this before. Hotch is going to rip this clown to shreds.”
You stifle a laugh and look over at Aaron. He heard her. Leaning toward you, he murmurs, “All my JD does is collect dust. When I use it, I’d like to enjoy it.”
“Your Honor, the prosecution would like to call our expert witness, Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, to the stand.”
He takes a breath and rises, buttoning his suit jacket and crossing the courtroom. His presence commands respect and everyone in the courtroom seems to shrink before him.
The prosecution’s questions go over smoothly, and the defense attorney stands with an unreasonable amount of confidence.
Emily leans over. “He thinks he can get Hotch with at least one of these questions, and he might. But just watch.”
You nod, taking everything in.
“So you’ve stated that it was your profile of the killer that led you and the police to my clients door that night.”
“Behavioral analysis was a factor in our investigation, yes.”
Without hesitation, the attorney follows up. “And was behavioral analysis also a factor in the Olympic Park bombings case in Atlanta?”
“Yes, it was.” Aaron’s eyes and tone never waver, no hint of arrogance or cheek.
“And was that suspect you identified,” the attorney asks, far too aggressively, “Richard Jewell, ever convicted of the bombings?”
The prosecution objects, and you watch Aaron. Every part of him observes the proceedings with an outwardly detached interest, but his eyes are alive - strategizing and anticipating. It’s like you can see the wheels turning as the lawyers bicker.
The judge ends the squabble. “I’ll allow it.”
Aaron, now with permission, answers simply, “No, he was not convicted.”
“Because he was innocent. Your profile led you to the wrong man.”
Oh, give me a break. It takes everything in you not to scoff and you can feel Emily’s eye roll.
“Jewell was not the perpetrator, but if you look at the real Olympic Park Bomber, Eric Rudolph, you’ll see that our profile was dead-on.”
Dead-on indeed, Aaron.
“Well, how about we look at the Baton Rouge Killer? Your unit said that he was white and living in the city. He was Black and from the suburbs.”
Aaron’s eyes narrow and you feel Spencer shift beside you. Emily shakes her head. “Don’t worry,” she whispers. “He always recovers, never in the way you’d expect.”
“How do you know?”
Emily’s face pulls into a little smile. “I’ve read the transcripts. Hotch is terribly clever.”
“You said that Dennis Rader, the B.T.K. Killer,” the attorney continues, “was divorced and impotent. He turned out to be married with two kids.”
JJ huffs, and you hear her whisper to Spencer, “Can we quit with the sermon?”
His lips turn up. “Just wait.”
Dave leans over and stares them down over Derek. Stop talking.
All of you look down at your hands like chastised children, but your gaze floats back to Aaron right away.
The prosecution objects again, this time on the grounds of preaching. The judge forces a question, and the attorney turns back on Aaron.
“Having been wrong on those cases, isn’t it possible that you were wrong about Brian Matloff?”
“No.” Your chest squeezes. He’s completely firm in his denial.
How does he do that?
“Fact is,” the attorney continues like Aaron didn’t speak at all, “behavioral analysis is really just intellectual guesswork. You probably couldn’t tell me the color of my socks with any greater accuracy than a carnival psychic.”
“Objection!”
Her outburst is unnecessary. Aaron has a plan. His eyes track to you as if to check in. Are you paying attention?
If you weren’t watching before, you’re certainly watching now. Always.
“Withdrawn.”
“Charcoal grey.” His flat assertion makes you gasp and you immediately cover your mouth with your hand to stifle the sound.
The attorney turns around. “Well, look at that,” he exposes his socks to the court, and they are, in fact, charcoal grey. “He got one right.”
Aaron’s not finished. “You match them to the color of your suit to appear taller. You also wear lifts and you’ve had the soles of your shoes replaced. One might think you’re frugal, but in fact, you’re having financial difficulties.”
You do your best to school your expression and remove your hand from your mouth. Checking down the row, you see six smirks watching the witness box.
“You wear a fake Rolex…”
And you’d know.
“...because you pawned the real one to pay your debts. My guess would be to a bookie.”
Is he smiling?
“I took this case pro bono.” There’s tension in Mr. Charcoal Grey’s voice. You can hear it behind the false confidence and it pulls a smile from you. “I am one of the most successful criminal attorneys in the state.”
Hotch continues, completely bypassing him. “Your vice is horses.” There’s definitely a little smile on his face now. “Your Blackberry’s been buzzing on the table every twenty minutes, which happens to be the average time between posts from Colonial Downs. You’re getting race results.” Your smile gets wider, and Emily grabs your hand.
“Just watch.”
“And every time you do, it affects your mood in court, and you’re not having a very good day.” There’s something that looks almost like concern on Aaron’s face, but you know it’s nothing if not facetious. He’s ripping this poor man to shreds without changing a single thing about his presentation.
I love -
Don’t finish that thought.
Why not?
Remember how he’s freshly divorced?
I know, but have you seen him?
“That’s because you pick horses the same way you practice law -”
You lean forward and Emily follows, her thumbnail between her teeth.
The final blow.
“- by always taking the long shot.”
If this was any other setting, you’re sure the entire team would be on their feet, shouting and jeering. But alas, you’re in court, so you settle for a wide smile and a suppressed laugh. Amused brown eyes meet yours from across the room and you shake your head just the tiniest bit. I can’t believe you.
His lips twitch.
“Well, you spin a very good yarn, Agent, but as usual, you’ve proven nothing.” He’s just trying to recover something, anything left of his dignity. He fails, miserably.
“If I’m not mistaken,” Aaron says, his eyebrows raised just a little, “the results from the fifth race should be coming through any minute.”
Just then, his Blackberry buzzes on the defense table. “Why don’t you tell us if your luck has changed?”
You raise your hands to your face to cool the rising heat in your cheeks.
“Your honor, this is - “
The judge takes matters into his own hands. “What do you want me to do? Either show us your Blackberry or cut him loose, counselor.”
Hotch and the defense attorney share a loaded look. It’s a battle of wills.
Aaron wins.
“Nothing further.”
+++
When you all leave the courthouse, you practically latch onto Aaron’s arm, completely floored.
“How did you do that?”
He laughs and Derek jumps up beside him, shaking his shoulders. “Come on, Hotch. That was incredible.”
“Why have a law degree if you aren’t going to use it?”
+++
He offers you a ride home later that evening and you take him up on it. You’re both still in the car, idling in front of your house.
“That really was impressive today,” you admit, your eyes on your hands.
You can feel his soft smile rather than see it. “Thanks. I know it didn’t quite go the way we wanted as far as the case itself, but there’s more to come.”
“It’s never as bad as it looks in the first couple of days.”
“Exactly.” He sighs. “Thanks again for being there today. It’s…” his lips twist as he thinks, “nice to have the team around.”
You reach out, squeezing his forearm before immediately letting him go. “Of course. We’ll always be there for you. Plus, there’s nothing better than watching you tear blowhard lawyers to shreds in a court of law.”
“I’m not sure that’s exactly how it went.”
“You’re kidding!” You laugh. “That’s just what happened. The man left without half his soul! You absolutely tore it from his body.”
The pair of you quiet, and you move to get out of the car. He stops you with a hand over yours as you unclip your seatbelt. “Really. Thanks for being there today.”
“I can’t emphasize this enough - it was my pleasure.”
Enough of a pleasure as it was, his smile in the dark of the car is the best part of your day.
+++
tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @micaiahmoonheart @ogmilkis @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @writerxinthedark @bauslut @yourlovelynewsbian @sparklingkeylimepie @aili28 @kingandrear @reader4027 @spnobsessedmemes @rogers-mouth @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @hotchnersgoddess @buckybau @phoenixfyre374 @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @dontkissthewriter @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @ahopelessromantic @violentvulgarvolatile @andreasworlsboring101 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @garcia-reid-lovechild @cevanswhre @colbyskoalas @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner#hotch x reader#hotch#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds#tali writes fanfiction#tali talks cm#a joyful future#a joyful future fanfic
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DATING BTOB A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Changsub
A ⇴ AFFECTION
Changsub is always incredibly cuddly around him, it’s very much a habit of his to wrap his arms around you whenever you’re in reaching distance, he can’t help but have you as close as he can into him as often as possible.
B ⇴ BEFORE DATING
Your first meeting was all a bit of a misunderstanding, you caught Changsub pulling a funny face, presuming that he was doing it in your direction, pulling one back. It was only when you noticed a guy behind you, you realised it wasn’t actually at you, but Changsub was far too much of a tease to ignore what you’d done.
C ⇴ CONFESSION
It all ended up working in your favour though, and the two of you got to know each other well. Changsub ended up confessing how much he enjoyed getting to know you through a short song that he’d written. Music was his best way of expressing himself, and so he invited you over to his place one day, with plenty of instruments laid out in the living room, inviting you to sit down and listen to what he had to say.
D ⇴ DATES
His love for music often resonated into your dates as well, Changsub loved to take you to live gigs and other events in the city, whether it was music, a film, or even sometimes a comedy event, he loved seeing someone else go through the adrenaline of being on stage as he often experienced. You just tended to trust him and his suggestions on places that the two of you could go to, but they usually turned out to be a pretty good time anyway, with only a few minor hiccups along the way with some acts.
E ⇴ EXPERIENCE
Changsub had some old dating rumours which certainly played on his mind when the two of you began to get together. He was determined to keep you protected out of the vicious cycle that the Korean media could be, and make sure that you were sure that a relationship was something that you definitely wanted before things got too serious between you both. Changsub couldn’t help but worry, and also the last thing he wanted was to deal with the attention of a dating rumour once again.
F ⇴ FIGHTING
If there was one thing you learnt about Changsub quite early on in your relationship, it was that no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t hide whenever he was in a bad mood. It usually ended up working in your favour as you’d know when to steer clear of him and when not to start an argument because he was feeling pretty low. But if you managed to catch him off guard, then the bad mood would very quickly be very obvious to you, and once you’d been caught by his vents of frustrations, it was usually a pretty terrible loophole for you to find your way out of without the two of you arguing with each other first.
G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY
Changsub was incredibly close with his family, which made you incredibly anxious to meet them all. You were terrified, putting off your first meeting for as long as you possibly could, until his sister’s birthday came around, and Changsub promised that you’d be in attendance without even asking you to join him.
H ⇴ HOME
You were quite quick to move into Changsub’s place, he loved having you there and the company that you brought. It was no fun for him to mess around in such a nice apartment all by himself, and so having you there to enjoy it with him was definitely something that he wanted sooner rather than later in your relationship.
I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”
Changsub ended up being the first of the two of you to say, ‘I love you,’ on a letter that he wrote whilst BTOB were in the middle of a tour. He was far too nervous to ring you or say it in person, so at the end of a lengthy letter about all the adventures he’d been on so far, he signed it off with his name, and his confession too.
J ⇴ JEALOUSY
Just like with his bad moods, it was very apparent to you too when Changsub would be feeling jealous too. His face always managed to give it away, how his eyes would narrow at whoever was making him feel jealous, and how he’d always poke his tongue against the inside of his cheek. Whenever you’d challenge him about it, he’d always vow that he wasn’t jealous, but as soon as you’d imitate the face that you saw him pulling across the room, he’d know the game was up and that he didn’t have a leg to stand on.
K ⇴ KIDS
You certainly felt the pressure from his family to start considering a family of your own quite soon into your relationship. They knew the two of you were great, and it was obvious to them all that the two of you were going to stick together, and with that, their minds instantly looked to kids. Changsub could often only apologise for how forward they were, assuring them it was something you’d think about when the time was right.
L ⇴ LAUGHTER
Changsub had plenty of quirks and weird habits that meant there weren’t many times around him that you didn’t have a smile on your face. You never knew quite what to expect from him next, one minute he’d be serious and an adult, the next minute he’d be running around the place like a kid, trying to get you involved in all sorts of pranks and jokes on the other members. Changsub loved to enjoy himself and was more than happy in expressing himself and how crazy he could be without the fear of what others would think. All that mattered was that you loved and enjoyed the person that he was.
M ⇴ MISSING
Just like with many other stages of emotion, it was very clear to the group when Changsub was missing you on the road too. Of course, as with his jealous, he’d argue that he was fine, but the group hadn’t spent a decade together for no reason, they knew Changsub better than he knew himself sometimes. Eventually they’d manage to wear him down into admitting that he was struggling, but not before he made them all promise that they wouldn’t tell you how low he was feeling, because as he always told them, and you, the last thing he wanted to do was make the tour more difficult for you.
N ⇴ NICKNAMES
Changsub loved to give you cute nicknames that he knew would make you blush. He was always coming up with new ones, sometimes very random, but each one always managed to get him a reaction out of you.
O ⇴ OBSESSION
He was obsessed with your eyes, he could always tell exactly what was going on and how you were feeling, usually just by the way that you looked back at him.
P ⇴ PDA
You could never expect Changsub to be normal with his affection in public, he loved to clown around, and would often play up to any cameras that were around too, knowing that the fans loved to see the two of you too. No matter what, it would always take you by surprise, and leave him scolded when you got home too.
Q ⇴ QUESTIONS
He’ll always make sure to check in and see how you are at various points throughout your day together. Your eyes are always a giveaway, so if you lie, then he’ll just keep asking until he gets the truth out of you.
R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS
You’ll often find yourself falling asleep with your fingers tracing over Changsub’s tattoos, usually with him already fast asleep beside you. You’ll often doodle new ones too, tracing random patterns along his arm or his ribcage. Although he never lets on, the feeling of your fingers trailing along his skin is definitely a feeling that helps him sleep tonight, although he’s far too scared to admit that to you in person.
S ⇴ SEX
For the most part, Changsub is always incredibly loving when it comes to intimacy, he enjoys the moment and the adrenaline rush that comes with it. However, it usually isn’t long before he starts up with his usual antics, when he finds himself falling too deeply, he’ll come out with a joke or make a funny remark to try and make things a little less intense between the two of you, never quite knowing how to cope with the sudden passion.
T ⇴ TEXTS
If he can’t ask you in person how you’re doing, then Changsub will often text you instead. Although he never wholly trusts in your response, the fact that you responded alone is usually a good enough sign for him.
U ⇴ UNIVERSE
More than anything else, Changsub loves that you’re someone who can really appreciate his sense of humour and give him somewhere to be himself. He never has to hide or pretend around you, because you love every part of who he is.
V ⇴ VACATION
It had been quite a while since Changsub got to spend some time with his family, and so when the chance to go away came around, he decided to create a huge trip for you, him, and his family too. It was also the perfect chance for you to get to know them more too, and another event that you couldn’t back out of.
W ⇴ WHINING
There were definitely times that Changsub would whine, whilst he didn’t crave attention, sometimes he just couldn’t help but want your eyes on him.
X ⇴ XXXXX
He would love nothing more than when he was able to tease you with his kisses, he loved to pull away just as you began to deepen a kiss, or tug gently against your bottom lip when you were busy in the hope that it would distract you from what you were doing and put your attention on him. However, if you ever did that to him, you could be guaranteed to be in big trouble with him, unimpressed by your antics.
Y ⇴ YOU
You were his best friends, together you were the best possible team.
Z ⇴ ZZZ
The struggle was definitely real when it came to trying to wake Changsub up in the morning. You’d never known someone sleep as well as he did, often resorting to dangerous tactics to try and wake him up and get him out of bed.
---
Masterlist
#btob#btob imagine#changsub#changsub imagine#lee changsub#lee changsub imagine#btob reaction#btob scenario#btob changsub#btob headcanon#btob drabble#btob one shot#btob fluff#changsub reaction#changsub scenario#changsub drabble#changsub fluff#changsub one shot#kpop#kpop imagine
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Team Bleck if they had to go a week without magic:
(Mostly my headcanons but it’s fine)
Nastasia wouldn’t be too phased, since she doesn’t use her hypnosis very often in day to day life. She’d probably spend the week without wearing her glasses and the other minions would be shocked that she actually has eyes.
O’Chunks doesn’t consciously use magic so he’d have no idea why he’s suddenly feeling super cold and a bit sluggish. He’d probably think he’s gotten sick for the first time in, like, ever, but Dimentio would be quick to point out the real problem. He’d overwork himself a lot at first in an attempt to prove to himself that he’s just fine, but he’d soon chill out a bit and hang around the other minions a lot since he’s got nothing else to do anymore.
Mimi would lose her mind because she can’t shapeshift into a new outfit every hour of the day. She’d also be a lot weaker physically and would keep losing energy until she gets her magic back. It would only take a few days for the organic parts of her body to get the message and go into a sort of hibernation mode. It’s sort of like when you try to shut down your computer but it refuses to shut down because there are still programs running. But then you close the programs and the computer shuts off. She’d wake up and be just fine once she gets her magic back and the Pixl parts of her body reboot.
Mr. L would only be minorly inconvenienced because he occasionally uses Thunderhand to power some of his smaller robots. Honestly it’s more of an issue for him when Dimentio is the one without magic, because Dim likes to hang around the workshop while L works, but without magic Dim would just be moping around the whole time and complaining.
Count Bleck takes a little bit to get used to doing things without magic since it’s been a few years. Since he doesn’t walk too much, he’s a little unstable on his legs, but he’s okay for the most part.
But Dimentio.... oh good grambi, Dimentio cannot function without magic. He uses magic for everything. And without it, he crashes like a child after an intense sugar rush. At first he’d be super pissed off to not have magic as a convenience, but his anger would very quickly turn into badly hidden panic as he realizes just how helpless he is.
Just like Bleck, Dim hasn’t actually used his legs in a while, but unlike the count, Dimentio doesn’t make his legs disappear when he’s not using them, which has allowed the muscles to atrophy a lot. It also doesn’t help that his diet is shit, so he’s got no muscles and no energy without magic to fuel him. Because of this, his condition would get worse and worse with time and unless he figures out how to take care of himself like a normal person instead of relying solely on magic, he’s gonna be in for a reeeeeal bad time.
Oh, and he’s gonna have to learn to ask for and accept help from his teammates, cuz this clown is not gonna make it down the fuckin stairs on his own. Nastasia has taken on the responsibility of making sure Dimentio gets enough to eat, cuz you know he’s not leaving his room in this sorry state. Nah, he’s got too much pride to be seen like that..... and he’d also fall down the stairs. O’Chunks essentially becomes Dimentio’s Uber driver and at first he is very annoyed about having to cart this gremlin around the castle, but once the initial annoyance wears off he can’t help but find it amusing how excited Dimentio gets just riding around on O’Chunks’s shoulders.
Yeah, after the grouchiness and anxiety wears off, Dimentio reveals his true nature: he’s super childish. Having such powerful magic is really the only thing that was boosting his big-ass ego, so now without it, he’s been taken down a peg.... or maybe a couple pegs. So once he gets it through his thick skull that he’s no better than anyone else and he actually needs their help to not fucking die, he drops his whole I’m-better-than-you persona and puts up a more pleasant front so the team won’t leave him to figure things out alone and probably die (they wouldn’t do that, but he doesn’t think they care that much about him sooooo).
Dimentio without magic.... well, is he really even the Dimentio the team knows at that point? They actually gets a little concerned that he’s gotten possessed because it’s just so out of character for him to be friendly and social without the usual undertone of an ulterior motive and the feeling that he’s talking down to everyone. He’s still a mischievous little shit of course. Now it’s just little pranks and jokes though, since anything more would require magic. Honestly he acts like a bit of a spoiled child because he will get his way no matter what anyone says. He’s a childish demon clown and no one can stop him.
And another thing to note: since Dim has been an asshole to everyone he’s met for like.... his whole existence, he is severely lacking in the hug department. So if anyone touches him, he will refuse to let them leave for at least a few minutes. Mr. L has to deal with this the most since Dim has nothing better to do than hang around the workshop all day. So L will just be fixing some wires on Brobot and suddenly there’s an annoying little clown clinging to him and watching him work. Or he’ll be looking at his tools and suddenly he’s just tackled by a giggling purple gremlin. Mr. L is very huffy about all this and he definitely doesn’t think it’s really cute no definitely not at all ahahahaha.
So yeah. TLDR: Everyone would be mostly fine. Nastasia would reveal her eyes. O’Chunks would become an Uber driver. Mimi would take an involuntary nap. Mr. L would get attacked with clown hugs. Bleck would work on his balance. And Dimentio would be a complete disaster! Thanks for coming to my TED talk!
#super paper mario#headcanon#dimentio#nastasia#spm mr l#o’chunks#mimi#spm count bleck#lmentio#count bleck#dimentio spm#spm#literally all of my ideas are just different ways to make dimentio’s life hell#im drowning in ideas help#please stfu mags we are all begging you#spm headcanon
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The Cherry On Top • 02 • 03 | Charity stream disaster • 04
Kenma checked his stream overlay one last time to make sure everything was set up correctly. The streamer was only ten minutes away from his scheduled 24-hour charity stream that Akaashi had set up for him in partnership with the energy drink company, Black Sheep. For every donation Kenma receives during his live stream, all proceeds will be 100% donated to help animal shelters in need of supplies.
For once, Kenma was actually excited about a partnership. As a lover of cats and raising three rescues himself, it wasn’t particularly a hard decision for Kenma to make when Black Sheep had approached him and brought up the idea of a partnership and a charity stream campaign in conjunction with the animal shelter Black Sheep was associated with.
That was why when his sponsorship with Black Sheep had been threatened by a rumor, Kenma ultimately made a public announcement to deny the rumor and personally reached out to the PR/Influencer team at Black Sheep to talk it out with them.
Now, three minutes prior to going live, Kenma’s phone buzzed multiple times. He glanced at the lit up screen and rolled his eyes. It was Kuroo who was blowing up his phone, and Kenma had a fairly decent idea of what the texts were about.
Last week, Kuroo and Kenma had met up with Akaashi and Bokuto for their monthly dinner meet up when Akaashi had mentioned Kenma’s upcoming charity stream.
“A 24-hour stream is too easy for Kenma; the gremlin routinely stays up at least 36-hours once a week anyways.” Kuroo let out a barking laugh as he flipped the meat that was grilling in front of the four friends.
“That’s besides the point, Kuroo.” Kenma rolled his eyes and leaned back in the vinyl booth. “I’m doing a charity stream. All donations I get during the stream goes towards the animal shelter that Black Sheep partners with.” Kenma made sure to slowly emphasize the word “charity” when he explained his upcoming project.
“You know, I’ve never seen Kenma so excited about a project,” Bokuto quipped as he eagerly tucked into his meal.
“It’s for a good cause and Kozume was quick to say yes,” Akaashi added as he flashed a small smile towards the flushed streamer. Kenma still wasn’t used to hearing people praise him, no matter how often he was always featured in esports commentary and articles.
“I have three cat rescues myself, so it was a no brainer,” he mumbled, averting eye contact. He opted to push around the burnt pieces of meat with his chopsticks around his plate instead.
“Aw, you’re embarrassed that you got caught being openly excited for your next project!” Kuroo smirked and nudged his friend. It was all friendly-banter, and Kenma knew that Kuroo meant well and was extremely happy for him, but he flushed harder as Bokuto and Akaashi chimed in to cheer on their friend.
“I’m just being a nice person. Maybe you should try it some day,” Kenma shot back.
“What do you mean?” Kuroo scoffed. “I’m always a nice person.”
Akaashi and Kenma rolled their eyes at Kuroo while Bokuto let out a good-natured laugh at Kuroo’s response.
“Hey, wait! You know what you should do to make your 24-hour stream more spicy?” There was a mischievous glint in Bokuto’s eyes as he waited for his friends to respond.
“Bokuto-san, whatever you’re thinking probably isn’t a go--”
“Drunk 24-hour stream!”
“Oh, nice!” Kuroo snapped his fingers and grinned his infamous Cheshire Cat smirk. Akaashi sighed and Kenma grimaced.
"I’m not going to take ideas from two drunks. And we barely sat down to eat, how are you two this drunk already?” Kenma wrinkled his nose.
Kenma unlocked his phone and quickly scanned through his group chat. Yup. There it was: a barrage of texts from Kuroo asking Kenma if he had his booze ready followed by a spam of suggestive eye emojis by Bokuto. Kenma was quick to notice that Akaashi had purposely chosen to ignore the group texts and offered no help in diverting the suggestions.
Kenma snorted quietly at Bokuto's message as he locked his phone. He looked up at the monitor to his right and read some comments that were starting to flood in his stream chat. He gave his camera a small smile and leaned back in his chair, answering some questions that caught his attention and saying "hi" to others.
Kenma usually liked to start his stream off rather chill by interacting with his viewers. After playing his music playlist and adjusting the volume, he finally announced his agenda for the day after a few minutes.
"Today I'm partnering with Black Sheep for a charity stream. It's going to be a 24-hour stream and we're gonna spend most of the time playing some League. All donations I get will go towards helping an animal shelter which you guys know I'm all for." Kenma paused as his donation notification sounded and his text-to-speech setting began to read the donation to him and his viewers.
"meowriachi donated $25: 24-hour stream? too ezpz kodzuken"
Kenma laughed and ran a hand through his messy half-up styled hair.
"I was telling my friends about today's stream and Kuroo said the same thing. Maybe in our next collaboration we'll do a longer stream if you guys want that. We'll also be able to have more fun and do more things, too."
Kenma was smart and sneaky. He always was. Kuroo did always say he was the brains of the team back in high school when they played volleyball together. Kenma was good at analyzing situations, and because of this strength, Kenma knew when to use certain words and situations to create benefits for him and his career. This was no exception. The streamer knew Black Sheep would be moderating his stream, so now the company had slight pressure to partner with him again if there was an in demand from his fans. And this was Kodzuken we were talking about. There was no doubt Kenma knew there would already be a second sponsorship in the works.
Kenma smirked. Easy peasy stream indeed.
Kenma loved his job. He truly did. It wasn't every day someone could wake up every day and actually look forward to going to work, and for that, Kenma was thankful. He was thankful that he had the skillsets to do well in competitive gaming and that he had a knack of being able to pick up mechanics of new games so easily. He was thankful that he had a fanbase that enjoyed his commentary and sarcastic humor, and a fanbase that supported and helped him build his brand from ground up.
Kenma knew he owed one-third of his success to his fans and another one-third to his own hard work and passion. But Kenma also knew he owed the last one-third of his success to his friends.
Not once did Kenma regret making Akaashi his manager; Akaashi had gotten him way more sponsorships than Kenma himself could've if he was still balancing streaming, content creation, and managing his own projects.
Kenma was thankful for Kuroo for always challenging him to step outside his comfort zone. Even when Kenma was irritated and didn't want to hear Kuroo's words of advice and encouragement, Kenma was still grateful for it all.
And Bokuto. Kenma guesses he can be thankful for Bokuto for always hyping him up when he needed it the most. Especially when he was extremely hung over from a night out of (forced) drinking and had barely ten minutes to wake up and set up his stream on time.
Yes, Kenma was truly thankful for his friends. But right now, Kenma wanted to kill them. He wanted to kill Kuroo and Bokuto for coming over to his house uninvited even after he warned them not to and for raiding his stream in real life.
Right now, Kenma was seething. One, he was in the middle of a very important sponsorship deal. Two, he was in the middle of a ranked game in League of Legends and he didn't want to lose his winning streak. And three, his two goofball friends had showed up to his house with alcohol and announced out loud to his viewers that Kenma would now be participating in a drunk 24-hour stream.
Kenma doesn't remember the last time he got this mad. What's worse was that Kenma's fans were all for it. His stream chat was getting spammed with poggers emotes, and it was difficult for Kenma to admit that he had been getting more and more donations ever since Kuroo and Bokuto had shown up and the alcohol was brought out. And because of that, Kenma had begrudgingly surrendered and cracked open a White Claw.
Except he didn't stop only at one; not if Kuroo and Bokuto could help it. And at only about 5'8" with a smaller build, Kenma unfortunately fell victim to being a lightweight. And with Kuroo and Bokuto, kings of being instigators, were there to egg him on along with his stream chat, Kenma downed can after can.
Just a little something to take the edge off a work week, right?
end notes:
→ kenma’s twitch stream took me 30 minutes to piece together 😪
→ if you see the same comments on kenma’s twitch chat twice... no you didn’t 😀🔪
→ also peep the stream title change 👀
→ kenma’s the type to use scuffed candids of his friends as their contact photos, but it didn’t work out too well. he actually respects akaashi enough to use a decent photo, and bokuto never takes a bad photo. ever. i guess kuroo’s the only one he can easily clown.
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