#i reread all the books in quarantine

[anti-gravity-insanity]

I PROMISE no spoilers for any of the new Percy Jackson show on this blog (I have a massive queue that I’ve built up and it will be released only with prior warning and proper blockable tags), but I did just reread the whole first 5 books and will be waxing nostalgic by means of spam revblogging PJO book stuff probably for the next couple days (I guess??? I guess this is where the night takes me) . Anyways, just wanted to make that distinction of spoilerless spam before I start blasting away in fucking nostalgia-zone over here.

[bomberqueen17]

liveblogging the aubreyad 1: Master & Commander

ok so. i'm going to liveblog my reread of the Patrick O'Brian Jack Aubrey series of books, in potentially more or less detail, because it's something to do and it's funny. Starting with book 1, Master & Commander, copyright date 1969, which I definitely first read in like 1991 when I was waaaaay too young to understand approximately half the references. There will be spoilers. There may or may not be an accurate representation of the entire contents of the series. We'll see how long I keep this up. I wish I could write it in the entertaining style of my Wee Precious Flower Prince Geralt Witcher 3 playthroughs of yore but those were written under 1) quarantine confinement, 2) incredible amounts of gin, 3) after collaborative sessions, and I just can't make that happen solo.

But I will do my poor, reduced, older and more sedate best. I promise that while these books are not quite as dramatically crack-addled as Witcher 3, they are weirder than you think, which is critical.

OK so. We start off swinging with the meet-ugly. In fair Port Mahon we lay our scene, in the year 1800 (or 1801?? we also start off swinging with never quite having the tiny details quite laid down), we meet our fair hero Jack Aubrey, a six-foot, well-built, yellow-haired lieutenant in the Royal Navy, a cheerful high-spirited cove who immediately pisses off the unpleasant little man sitting next to him at this chamber music concert by singing along to the music. Relatable reaction by the unpleasant little man, to be sure. Aubrey is having a bad time, though— he has not been promoted and he doesn’t have a ship so he has nothing to do but get in trouble, and his spirits are too low to get into a fight with the unpleasant little man, though he briefly considers it. We soon find out that the sole bright spot in Jack's life is that he's fucking his boss’s wife, which seems like a bad idea but who are we to judge. But lo! He gets back to the inn where he’s staying only to find a letter informing him that he has been promoted! He is now the master and commander of his very own ship, which we are informed is a sloop. Also throwing us into the deep end of Listen Baby It’s Just Vibes. The nautical language and technical shit comes fast and thick and if you just sort of roll with it you figure it out. Don’t Worry About It. There Will Be Context Clues.

Now that Jack is professionally fulfilled he is happy, and so the next morning when he happens to see his unpleasant little man from the previous night, he shows his true colors: he immediately bounds across the street and wholeheartedly, unreservedly apologizes for being a dipshit, like the golden retriever he really is at heart. The unpleasant little man is so shocked by this that he loses all his unpleasantness, has a really nice conversation with Jack, and immediately gets distracted by the sighting of a rare bird. Stephen Maturin is now successfully introduced, exactly as he means to go on as well. He is a physician, but his patient died and he's stuck without money to get home, literally sleeping rough because no one will answer his letters and he's out of cash. Jack meanwhile has a ship with no surgeon on it, and a vacancy, and they like one another, so it seems a simple solution. And so Stephen shall go to sea.

I suppose, really, that’s the genius of this series. The characters are round, complicated creatures, with obvious and consistent surface qualities but also equally consistent, apparently-contradictory, deeper qualities. Even minor characters sometimes possess this level of depth. Even the cartoony-awful little shit Harte (sometime captain, then admiral, the boss whose wife Jack has been fucking but in Jack's defense so is everybody else) has depths. Unpleasant depths, but he's got reasons and motivations and you do really believe in him; this pays off in book 8 in particular.

We meet Jack's first command, the Sophie, the loveliest tiniest little ship ever, staffed by a pack of utter weirdos. TOM PULLINGS makes his first appearance (he is my favorite supporting character throughout the series, so he will be capitalized henceforth) along with his delightful henchman (the other senior midshipman) Mowett who is James in his first and last appearances and most of the others but for some reason becomes William for a while in the middle, most notably in book 8, and has thus passed into the movie as William. Those are our master's mates, or senior midshipmen. In O'Brian's typical fashion we don't get really concrete physical descriptions of them in the normal sense, but instead get really evocative but nonspecific ones. TOM PULLINGS is "a big shy master's mate", elsewhere specified to be sort of gangly, long and thin, young, with a country accent and foremast-jack antecedents (i.e. started out as a regular sailor and was promoted, instead of the more normal approach where a family of means sends a son to sea as a midshipman), who absolutely blossoms under Jack Aubrey's leadership-by-enthusiastic-example, and we will see him through most of the rest of the series continuing on this trajectory with great competence and charming humbleness.

James Mowett gets a great introduction. He's had a few lines prior to this, mostly repetitively described as (and shown to be) cheerful and generally enthusiastic about things, running around and getting to be the one to fetch Stephen from the shore, and later we find out that he is a prolific writer of somewhat-terrible poetry, which we'll get plenty of excerpts of over the course of the series. But his first real description is:

“James Mowett was a tubular young man, getting on for twenty; he was dressed in old sailcoth trousers and a striped Guernsey shirt, a knitted garment that gave him very much the look of a caterpillar."

There are also the youngsters. Meet my beloved son William Babbington, a miniature midshipman of between eleven and thirteen who has every venereal disease and gets drunk a lot. He also cries and swears a whole lot, mostly while sober. I love him immoderately and we will see him in several more of the books. He never gets much taller or less obsessed with womanizing. Adolescence was hard in the Georgian era. (Yes, this is the Georgian era; the Victorian era does not begin for another thirty years.)

“'I suppose you grow used to living here,' [Stephen] observed, rising cautiously to his feet. 'At first it must seem a little confined.' 'Oh, sir,' said Mowett, 'think not meanly of this humble seat, Whence spring the guardians 'of the British fleet! Revere the sacred spot, however low, Which formed to martial acts an Hawke! An Howe !' 'Pay no attention to him, sir,' cried Babbington, anxiously. 'He means no disrespect, I do assure you, sir. It is only his disgusting way.”

Throughout this series, O'Brian so so so vividly shows and describes the many phases of awkwardness that young men go through especially in military settings. It's incredibly vivid; the breaking voices, the smells, the idiotic capers, the weeping, the complete lack of foresight, the incredible cruelty and also loyalty and bravery, the sheer adolescent enthusiasm coupled with shocking laziness.

We also get some insight into contemporary social mores through the introduction of Marshall, the sailing master (a warrant officer)-- 1) he's gay and 2) Jack Aubrey is extremely his type. Different people's different attitudes toward this unspool throughout various points of the book, but the critical point is that Jack Aubrey himself has absolutely zero gaydar and while he has heard the rumor about Marshall's tendencies, he doesn't care about that stuff, studiously avoids enforcing any of the regulations against it, and he absolutely never at any point relates this to himself, and never ever realizes why the man is so driven to excel at his job. Not even when an injury to his head and face gives Jack a horrible haircut and worse appearance, and Marshall is horrified and dispirited about it; Jack never twigs just what's amiss.

To be fair to Jack, many many many of the men aboard also respond to him in a similar, though crucially different, way. This is a common thing in this kind of cooped-up little setting; you have a guy who's in charge and gives you positive feedback and like, immediately you'll die for that guy, which is kind of how the military works because you may in fact have to literally die for that guy and it's easier if you're intrinsically motivated in some way. And Jack is very, very good at this in most cases, at taking the measure of the people under his command and getting them to respond to him.

(We can return to Mowett for an explicit example: “'You may light up the sloop, Mr Mowett, and show her our force: I don't want her to do anything foolish, such as firing a gun - perhaps hurting some of our people. Let me know when you have laid her aboard.' With this [Jack] retired, calling for a light and something hot to drink; and from his cabin he heard Mowett's voice, cracked and squeaking with the excitement of this prodigious command (he would happily have died for Jack), as under his orders the Sophie bore up and spread her wings.”)

Anyway so back to the plot summary: a very good side plot throughout is that the ship's first lieutenant, James Dillon, is an Irishman, and he and Stephen Maturin were both involved in the Irish rebellion in 1798. When they meet, James recognizes Stephen, and cautiously sounds him out about having met before, and Stephen very coolly replies we've never met but you must be thinking of my cousin who looks just like me but uglier, *so* ugly, he has the face of an informer, and everyone hates an informer and james is like Ah. You Are Absolutely Correct Sir We Have Never Met. This subplot develops into a delicious meditation on divided loyalties and the agony of staying true to oneself while doing what one must do. Highly recommended, A++. Begins to give us some insight into the various depths of Stephen, who doesn't understand tides or wind and hasn't the sense to come in out of the rain but has a deep and complicated history and identity and above all an incredible capacity for ruthlessness, absolutely none of which Jack understands.

Stephen and James in dialogue when they're finally in privacy enough to discuss it (Stephen is the first speaker, James the second):

“I speak only for myself, mind - it is my own truth alone - but man as part of a movement or a crowd is indifferent to me. He is inhuman. And I have nothing to do with nations, or nationalism. The only feelings I have -for what they are - are for men as individuals; my loyalties, such as they may be, are to private persons alone.'' "Patriotism will not do?'' "My dear creature, I have done with all debate. But you know as well as I, patriotism is a word; and one that generally comes to mean either my country, right or wrong, which is infamous, or my country is always right, which is imbecile." ''Yet you stopped Captain Aubrey playing Croppies Lie Down the other day.” "Oh, I am not consistent, of course; particularly in little things. Who is? He did not know the meaning of the tune, you know. He has never been in Ireland at all, and he was in the West Indies at the time of the rising. [...] But as for that song, I acted as I did partly because it is disagreeable to me to listen to it and partly because there were several Irish sailors within hearing, and not one of them an Orangeman; and it would be a pity to have them hate him when nothing in the manner of insult was within his mind's reach.”

uhhhhhhh but meanwhile: Jack Aubrey and the Sophies wreak havoc in the Mediterranean and make a lot of money and enemies, to the point that the local merchants band together to commission a fairly serious ship expressly to fuck them up. They meet this ship unsuspectingly, manage just in time to disguise themselves, and Stephen hails the ship and asks them in bad Spanish if they know anything about treating the plague, could they send a doctor over, could they spare any medicine. This scares them off and they go away. But now the Sophies know what this ship looks like and what armament it has. So the next time they meet it, they fight it, and so the tiny 14-gun Sophie with 82 men and boys aboard manages to capture the 32-gun Cacafuego with 319 men aboard, and it's very gallant and dashing and probably should not have worked, but it does.

And a little later, the Sophie accidentally meets a pair of very powerful French ships and gets taken in return despite doing some really heroic evasive manoevers.

The French are super nice to them, and we meet a French ship captain named Christy-Palliere who becomes a recurring character, who has English cousins and speaks great English and is both charming and nice, saying things like gather ye rose pods while ye may and being generally gallant. Until some even more powerful English ships heave into view, and the tables turn, but even then Christy-Palliere remains gallant and well-behaved.

We end the book with the court-martial. Any officer who loses his ship for any reason has to go before a court of sea captains to ascertain whether he did everything in his power to avoid losing his ship. So all the officers of the Sophie, including the midshipmen, including the surgeon, have to testify about this. (I feel like the other warrant officers should also have had to testify? but they weren't there and i'm not sure why. TOM PULLINGS is also not mentioned in the scene which he absolutely should be present for, so it's possible that they were just omitted for time.)

“They had each received an official notification the day before, and for some reason each had brought it with him, folded or rolled. After a while Babbington and Ricketts took to changing all the words they could into obscenities, secretly in a corner, while Mowett wrote and scratched out on the back of his, counting syllables on his fingers and silently mouthing. Lucock stared straight ahead of him into vacancy.”

Spoiler: the jury decides that there's not really anything more a 14-gun sloop could have done against two French ships of the line, so they exonerate Captain Aubrey for the loss of his sloop, and thus ends the book.

[wutheringmights]

So I finally finished rereading "The Fifth Season" by N.K. Jemisin, and-- actually, hold on. I need to start from the beginning.

The first time I read "The Fifth Season" by N.K. Jemisin, it was early COVID. Quarantine was in full swing, and my university had gone fully remote. I was taking a seminar class entitled "Ethno-Futurism," which focused on analyzing the ways in which sci-fi novels and short stories have discussed and commented on contemporaneous racial issues through the lens of sci-fi. Alongside other works like Octavia Butler's "Kindred," we were assigned "The Fifth Season."

I was actually pretty good about getting my readings done. But by the time Jemisin rolled around, it was the end of the quarter, and I was exhausted. I decided to strategically skip reading the book to focus on other end of the quarter projects.

Except, one of those projects was for an informational sciences class I was taking for my degree specialization. I had spent the entire quarter creating an info graphic about the diversity of Hugo Award Winners for best novel and short story. Jemisin is not only the first Black American to win the Best Novel award, but she went on to win it three times in a row for the Broken Earth Trilogy. You know, the trilogy that begins with "The Fifth Season."

Day before the reading is due, the sheer stupidity of what I was doing hit me. Why the fuck was I going to skip out on reading the book I had been researching the controversy behind for the past how many weeks? Am I that stupid?

So, yeah. I buckled down and read all 400+ pages in 24 hours.

Reading for academics is different from reading for pleasure. While I understood the plot and the characters, I was focusing more on stuff that was related to the seminar (primarily, racial castes). Which isn't to say that I didn't derive any pleasure from the book. On the contrary, I was blow away by the way Jemisin not only built this rich, complex world, but how she also deftly handled unique play at shifting narrative perspectives.

I knew at the time that if I was going to finish reading the series, I would have to start over and reread "The Fifth Season," just so that I could pay more attention to the characters and world building.

Cut to now. I had bought the last two books at a bookstore a few months ago. Now felt like the time to finally go back to the first book and actually read it for pleasure.

So... what did I think about it?

I like this book. I like it a lot. But it might not be made for me.

I'm not big into complex world building. Surprise, surprise: I prefer character drama. That's not to say that the book doesn't have fantastic characters (it has incredible characters, each one more fascinating from the last). But the world building is so intricate, there is always exposition that has to be given, to the point where I felt like I didn't get to see as much of the characters as I wanted.

To me, Essun and Damaya had the most interesting story lines. Essun's story moved really slowly, so much so that I felt like nothing much happened. In fact, nothing really happens with her by the end of it. We also see very little of Damaya. I think she has four chapters to her name. Maybe five?

Syenite has the most to do, and it feels like we linger on her the most. But as much as I like her and Alabaster, I never really got into her story line. Again, I felt like there was so many character moments I wanted them to have that kept being set aside in favor of the world building.

The story all together moves really slowly. In the end, not much as really happened. But at the same time, Jemisin is really obviously running a marathon. I have to give it time, even if it takes all three books.

For me, the most interesting part of the book is the way the prose plays with narrative perspectives. It's great. But I wonder how effective it is when the story feels so out of balance. Does the structure make sense when the novel reveals it's proverbial hand? Sure. I feel like I understand [redacted character name] really well, and they're definitely going to go on to be an icon character in the sci-fi /fantasy canon.

But... I don't know. Something feels missing. Maybe it's just lost some of its shine, now that I know the twist?

Part of the reason why I wanted to reread "The Fifth Season" now was that I wanted to study how to world build from nothing. That's an area I've always struggled in. I was hoping for some kind of epiphany moment where I would learn the secret to great fantasy/sci-fi. But I don't think I learned anything new. It's the same lesson about pacing out exposition and lore to not overwhelm the reader. I think I'm a bit bitter about that.

All that being said, I respect the hell out of this book. I don't even think that this is a book that needs people to like it. It's so confidently itself that I can feel it telling me that is I'm not the ideal reader why should it try to impress me?

And it's right. I can't be too hard on a book when it's made for people who like the extensive world building stuff. My opinion is pretty worthless here.

Overall, this is a 4.5/5. Almost perfect. Now let's see if I can finally get to those other two books.

[cutter-kirby]

welcome to spontaneous tuc side character appreciation

since it’s tuc’s anniversary extravaganza I’d thought I’d share the list I made on my latest reread. this time we’re talking about andromeda because she’s known for the first three books and then drops off the face of existence. so here’s everything she’s done ever!

(disclaimer I’m not infallible so apologies if I missed anything. I cut out a few times where the bats were mentioned as a unit. enjoy!)

GtO

Chapter 8 - Andromeda is part of the battle on the beach, though she's not mentioned by name. Shed holds onto her wing until Perdita saves her. She sprays blood from her wounded wing and loses control. She’s caught by Shed’s feet and slams into the wall. She shakily carries gregor.

Chapter 9 - Mareth helps carry her to the hospital despite being injured. From then on, Mareth has to ride a different bat on the quest while Andromeda recovers.

PoB

Chapter 10 - Mareth introduces her to Gregor and she seems to have forgiven him and is honored to meet him. She is a chosen member for the quest.

Chapter 11 - She and Pandora huddle together without Ares. She sleeps near Mareth.

Chapter 12 - She helps tear apart the squid with her claws. She ends up with a couple of sucker marks along with Twitchtip.

Chapter 14 - She pulls the front of the boat with Aurora.

Chapter 15 - She stands guard while Mareth steers. She likes the taste of bluebits.

Chapter 16 - She drags the boat through the water. She no longer shuns Ares and all three bats huddle together. Gregor suspects it might be because she knows Aurora would choose Ares over her. They all sleep fitfully.

Chapter 17 - She lifts the front of the boat and catches Mareth and Howard. At some point Mareth is bitten and they dive for Twitchtip to sever her tail from a serpent. 

Chapter 18 - She hangs over Howard while he treats Mareth, folds her wings around him to warm him, and repeats “I must take him home” twice. 

Chapter 19 - She ruffles her wings when Gregor is revealed as a rager. She doesn’t want to injure Gregor and tells Howard they both need to get Mareth to Regalia. She says she could make the journey with a raft light enough to carry. Mareth is layed on her back with a blanket and she and Howard take off.

Chapter 25 - She is bound and ragged. She already thinks she’s guilty. Gregor says she knew he’d fight her if she didn’t leave. She shakes her wings at his testimony.

Chapter 26 - She dines with the others. It’s revealed she and Howard weren’t allowed medical care. She was “astonishing” and made the trek in 12 hours. She huddles with Ares between Gregor and Howard.

Chapter 27 - She sees Gregor off.

CotW

Chapter 7 - She’s in quarantine with Howard, playing chess. She looks healthy. She hurries to the glass, says something to Howard, and is ordered back to bed. Mareth says he doesn’t need a leg when he has her, but looks upset when he remembers she has the plague.

Chapter 10 - It’s revealed she and Howard carried Ares from his cave to the hospital, so she is STACKED.

Chapter 26 - She’s asleep in bed and has the purple bumps, but is being given the plague cure.

then as far as i know she disappears from time and space or something (joke) because she's never mentioned again. i guess she's still recovering from the plague and is probably with mareth in books 4-5, but either gregor never mentions her or she's just not there. either way she's a fun addition to the team and i'm glad she decided to give ares a chance. her bond with mareth is cool and he is my favorite character so any friend of his is a friend of mine, so to speak. like most of the other bats, she doesn't say much, but I'd say she seems sensible and protective. hope you learned something in my andromeda exposé :)

[solisstars]

Introduction🪽

𐙚

A little about me

I HATE spoilers

My favorite flowers are hibiscus flowers 🌺

Though I wouldn't consider it a favorite sport, I do enjoy soccer !

When I was younger, I used to love Wild Kratts, Totally Spies, Angel's Friends, Barbie movies, and Winx

My favorite foods are bagels and garlic bread (I would give my soul for a bagel right now /srs)

I don't have a favorite song nor artist but I do enjoy Phoebe Bridgers, Mitski, Ethel Cain, Chappell Roan, Tyler the Creator, Frank Ocean, etc (bipolar ass music taste listening to my playlists is a whole experience)

૮︵⭒‿᧔☪︎᧓‿⋆︵౨

Fav sport; F1

Top drivers of the current grid (no particular order); Logan Sargeant, Oscar Pastri, Lewis Hamilton, Charles Leclerc / Carlos Sainz, and Alex Albon (I love the whole grid but I have been infatuated with them recently)

Top drivers of all time; Sebastian Vettel, Kimi Raikkonen, and Nico Rosberg (Mark Webber is an honorable mention).

Ferrari girly against my will

Strong Lance Stroll disliker 👎

૮︵⭒‿᧔☪︎᧓‿⋆︵౨

Fandoms I'm involved with Criminal minds, Percy Jackson (rereading the books/checking out the ones I didn't read as a kid), Yotsuba&! (fandom so small we could fit into a 5 seater bus), Deadpool, Snoopy (does that count? I love him sm), The Black Phone, Love Island

I love/like these, just not really in involved with the fandom IT, The Last Of Us, The Hunger Games, FNAF, Hercule Poirot, The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

Still somewhat a fan, might post about occasionally 9-1-1 Lonestar (Owen Strand's story line), Jujutsu Kaisen, Maximum Ride

Used to be a fan of (quarantine hit me like a truck) Miraculous Ladybug, My Hero Academia, Genshin Impact, Death Note, Wotakoi; life of an otaku, and a lot more.

Die hard retired Marvel & Harry Potter veteran (the HP & MCU phases never really leave you, they'll always make a random comeback when you're bored)

I've got more series I fw I just forgot them

[screampied]

heyyy Vegas daddy how r uuuuu?? do u read romance books and if so do u have any recs ☝️

hey aashi luv 😽. im good !!!! hope ur good 💓. i usually read more mystery / psychological horror stuff but i read romance stuff every once n a while too !!!! sureeeeeeeee

a walk to remember. i feeeeel like this is a classic, if you haven’t read it you should. i watched the movie long ago first before i knew it had a book first and PHEW i wasn’t prepared 😃😃😃. what i really liked about this book once i read it, was like it didn’t feel forced. it didn’t feel like your typical cliche wattpad romance. everything felt natural !!! and it’s kinda rare but i liked both the movie and the book. warning tho, the book is waaaay sadder, especially the ending.

the fine print. this book kinda grew on me bc i honestly didn’t like it at first. i dunno, i think it was the pacing near the beginning but near the middle it def grew on me !!!! if you’re into a grumpy x sunshine trope this is the book for u <3 the thing that made me keep reading was the drama, i was at the edge of my seat at each scene heh. it’s also cool how the author depicts both pov’s which was a nice change of pace bc ur usually used to seeing just one narrator. the ending tho, lovely 🙂‍↕️

from blood and ash. oh my goooood i could ramble about this entire series all day. it’s a mixture of fantasy and romance !!! it’s a specific order to read them. and i believe it’s a prequel series, haven’t read that yet. the pacing is a bit slow during the beginning tho. each character has their own personality and the relationships are *chefs kiss* !!! the thing i like ab this series is after each ending, ITS PLOTTWISTS, CLIFFHANGERS EVERYWHEREEE. some ppl dont like this book bc of the typos / scene mistakes but i overlooked it. i binge read this entire series during quarantine but ill prob reread again ><

the ballad of never after. thisssss book. i have a love hate relationship with this entire trilogy, mainly bc of the questionable ending 🧍‍♂️. i …. cried LOL. more of a frustrated cry, i dunno. the otp is so sweet tho </3 i think this book is what made me invested in the whole enemies to lovers trope. i personally wasn’t that fond of the FL for a few chapters but she grew on me. THE BETRAYAAAAAL, it’s so much emotions i couldn’t do it. i remember pausing between chapters to think to myself like me personally well ????? the concept intrigued me right away tho, and every scene of jacks n evangeline was so :((( also, it’s a slow burn.

also honorable mentions erm—the notebook, the happy ever after playlist, part of your world (literally read anything by abby jimenez), before i let go, and the words by ashley jade. ooh that book ruined me. these books i mentioned rn are tear jerkers be warned 🤗🤗🤗

[higgsbison]

Any recommendations for a Post-Discworld Reading order? Y'know, if you spent quarantine reading/rereading/rererereading every Discworld book in order and now every other work of literature is bouncing off your now-smooth brain? Asking for a friend.

(PS this, uh, friend of mine tried reading Gaiman and Pratchett's other non-disc books, and so far has only found Good Omens enjoyable)

god I wish there was smth that rly matched it, all the internet recs I saw are just goofy parody shit that I'm not interested it

I guess for this sort of layered british humor I'd suggest you try Jeeves&Wooster series by Wodehouse and Three men series by Jerome Klapka Jerome, Hitchhikers guide for the sci-fi version (tbh Color of Magic felt like Pterry was trying to make a fantasy HHGTTG if that means anything) and for that humor/humanism/social commentary combo I'd suggest Don Camillo series by Giovannino Guareschi

[ettawritesnstudies]

Thank You

If you’ll permit me a minute to be cliche: this photo would not have been possible without you. When I started university in August 2019, the sum of all my author-y potential measured up to:

No finished manuscripts

A pipe dream of ever publishing my work

A scatterbrained outline of The Laoche Chronicles

Forty-four phone notes full of half-witted ideas

A grand total of 3 followers on my brand-new tumblr account

At the time, I had no grand plans of marketing my work, though I knew it would be necessary if I ever wanted an audience. I chose a degree in chemical engineering because I knew my baby platform and half finished stories weren’t going to cut it as a career in their current state as an 18-year-old, and I needed to have a day job if I wanted to pursue my end dream of self publishing. I was just hoping to survive my first year of engineering school, pass my weed-out classes, and hopefully make some new friends. That fall semester passed with sporadic progress on my book, and halfhearted attempts at breaking into the writeblr community, until I decided to try my hand at Inktober and made my first few acquaintances: @siarven and @abalonetea, who have both featured on this blog since then. It was also at this point, sometime during a Calculus III lecture, that I invented my pen name:

All was going well, and I was pleased with my incremental progress until the world ended.

The less said about the pandemic, the better. Writeblr truly kept me sane through working full-time jobs and taking 18 credit hours during the semester. When I was truly close to dropping out of school, I kept going, knowing I had these online friends to cheer me up after brutal exams and long nights of studying. The tag games and community filled the dearth of interaction left by quarantine and an insane schedule. During my summer internship in 2020, I finally had the time to finish the first draft of Storge and the confidence in myself to start a website. Rereading my first post is a surreal experience, in part because I still see myself as a little kid as hiding under the blankets with a flashlight, notebook, and pen, thinking “I wanna write a book!”

I woke up the next day crying to the sheer volume of kind messages congratulating me on meeting this milestone. Instead of feeling burnt out after reaching such a lofty goal, this gave me all the more energy to keep working. Since then, I’ve been so blessed to grow this community and this website. It’s incredible to see how far I’ve come, now being able to claim:

A finished manuscript of Storge

A 3rd draft of Runaways after going through 2 rounds of Beta Readers

8 short stories and an audio drama

An active mailing list

Over 1000 followers on tumblr, but more importantly, a thriving community of writers who support each other’s releases through ARCs, leaving reviews, enthusiastic questions, and a welcoming space for new writers to share their craft.

140 posts on my website and regular readers who care about my ramblings ❤

Now I’m on my way to my new job – I’ll be doing research and development in my chosen field with a team I really like, and the freedom to listen to books while I’m in the lab. This next month will still be a hiatus for blog posts and new writing as I pack up my life for a cross-states move, but I’m beyond excited to enter change. My hope is that I can start saving for editing costs and devote more time to my craft thanks to a 9-5 schedule and NO!!! HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!! Really, I cannot say enough how thrilled I am to never have to take another exam ever again, thank GOD. With a bit of luck and no small amount of grace, I hope I can publish and share my stories with you sooner rather than later.

Thank you for all the support and camaraderie these past years. In a way, I owe this diploma to you as much as to my classmates and professors. The night before graduation, I said to my friends, “I’ve been waiting for tomorrow for eight years.” Now I’m living in the future, and I can’t wait to write the next chapter.

[crysdrawsthings]

Crys' Book Reviews - Wilder Girls

Decided to write those in my OneNote notebooks, but will include the plaintext under the cut!

Wilder Girls by Rory Power 4/5 stars in my subjective system

Originally in English, have been read in translation

Approximately 370 pages in the original language, published in 2019 and to my knowledge is the debut work of the author. Written in the First Person POV.

Relevant content warnings: deadly disease, graphic and often casual violence of various degree, medicinal details, unpleasant descriptions of quite gory mutations on both people and animals, potentially more

Brief story overview: the books deals with the students of the all-girls boarding school on an island that was put under quarantine during the outbreak of a deadly disease known as Tox. The quarantine have been ongoing for 18 months and the situations is dire with changes occurring in both characters and their surroundings

1/24 books I plan to read this year

I have started it on 31st of December/1st January and have finished it under a week, on 5th of January.

Russian translation was alright, I don't have any major issues with it. Cover was the same as the one on the page and  hey, it is really pretty. Definitely keeping the book for my personal collection.

I was a bit afraid that romantic line would be more prominent, personally, as I don't like those a lot, but generally it was more about friendship and some moderate pinning, which is hey, I can respect that.

I am not sure I am that interested in author's other works, but I think it was a quite strong first novel!

I would say that my impressions from the reading are fairly positive. This is not a book I am set on rereading multiple times or would consider a masterwork, but it was an engaging interesting story about characters I haven't found quite likeable, but was nonetheless excited and curious to learn about their story and eventual fate, as well as uncovering more behind the mysteries befalling Raxter School. I imagine, that should I have been a target audience for a secondary sapphic romance plotline, I may have enjoyed the book more, but to me it was just okay.

Personally for me it was a bit hard to get used to the First Person POV, as Third Person is the one I prefer to read, but it wasn't too much of a deal and gave an opportunity to add some additional details to the second POV, Byatt and further elaborate on her state of mind in the dedicated chapters. I have found the description of the state of situation for girls quite realistic in terms of how the constant danger, lack of food, other supplies and the later can definitely be a cause for social norms to take a bit of a second place to just making it to the next day. Still, despite this, quite a few interactions between characters were sweet and touching. I did like the eventual explanation of Tox because caused by prehistoric parasite and them prompting adaptations in younger hosts, I think this is a neat idea I would love to see explored further, especially considering military involvement in the situation. I would be curious if there would be more books in this setting, not necessarily a sequel, but just the same setting.

[utilitycaster]

I'm Reading the Drizzt Novels and You Can't Stop Me: Homeland (and some anticipated questions)

Welcome to yet another ongoing series from me, a person who should be doing other things and may abandon it but also frankly will do this for her own entertainment regardless of whether anyone else cares. Let's back up first; if you're not in this car with me, get out of the rearview mirror.

Until now I have pretty much only read the Drizzt novels in situations where I was unwell, tired, or without another easy means of entertainment. Specifically, I read the first few while quarantining with a mild but still unpleasant case of COVID in late 2022, and then some others while dealing with catching up at work/post-illness fatigue/the general vibes of December in the northeast and Midatlantic states of the US. This caught me up to book 6, which represent the scene-setting; more on this later.

I then read Book 7 on a long train ride with nothing else to do, while very tired and probably a little hungover, in January 2023. I enjoyed it, in part because Wulfgar, who I do not care for, dies. (spoilers I guess? I'm not explicitly avoiding spoilers because these books are 30+ years old, but I'm not seeking them out, and I believe he comes back to life eventually).

I then proceeded to read Real Books (TM) for the remainder of 2023, some of which I can recommend highly and some of which were dumber than Wulfgar. Flash forward to getting my car serviced in the tail end of December 2023. I intended to bring my laptop. I did not. I also intended to bring headphones. I did not. And so, with a phone with so-so battery and little interest in watching HGTV, I read book 8. And I thought "what if I started doing this, because I can knock out one of these motherfuckers in a day if I try hard enough." I then thought "what if I slam books 1-7 again and do a book a week in 2024?"

Clearly I did not do this, because again, I have other books to read and things to do. However, I have finally, after another long-ass train ride, finished a reread of book 1. And so, with an unclear but hopefully from now on twice a month at least (?) update schedule, I bring you: Homeland. The rest of these posts will probably be way shorter.

For anyone who is not familiar with Drizzt or Forgotten Realms or whatever: this is a weird choice you've made. Anyway. Forgotten Realms is THE iconic D&D setting; it's where both the Baldur's Gate series is set as well as the D&D movie plus all kinds of adventures. What's it like? Well, it's basically The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, for all my Diana Wynne Jones fans out there. Do none of these references work for you? You'll just have to pick it up as we go along.

The Legend of the Legend of Drizzt is basically, as far as I know (and I don't know much) R.A. Salvatore was hired to write some cool adventures in a D&D setting in the early 90s. The plan, per the suits, was to follow Wulfgar, who was big and blond and very Conan The Barbarian which is, I should note, way more the vibe of D&D than LOTR much as we (D&D players) are loathe to admit it. However, Wulfgar had brains made out of one of the boring adult cereals: dull, and only slightly more fibrous than the fun cereals like Honey Bunches of Oats. Meanwhile, Drizzt, his drow buddy, fucking ruled. And so, after writing three very sword-and-sorcery (or more accurately, scimitar-and-wizardry) books, Salvatore returned to fill in Drizzt's backstory. And thus we begin in Homeland.

Drizzt Do'Urden is a drow, or dark elf, which in this setting are almost universally evil because they worship Lolth the spider queen. Is this Not Great? Yes. I also am reading The Wheel of Time, which is Even Worse About Biology As Destiny. The main purpose of this book is to cover Drizzt's childhood from when he leaves the underground drow city of Menzoberranzan.

Drizzt's mother is called Malice, unironically. The naming of drow makes no fucking sense, while we're at it; Malice, Zaknafein, SiNaFay, and Alton DeVir are all supposed to be from the same language? I'm not buying it. ANYWAY. Drow society is matriarchal bc spiders and because, as this post says, Salvatore REALLY wanted to be stepped on. Drizzt was born the third son, and was going to be sacrificed to Lolth because third sons are useless. His birth was ALSO being used by Malice to fuel an attack on House DeVir, because if you slaughter a whole-ass house in Menzoberranzan it's admirable of you, bc ontologically evil; and Lolth powers are increased by childbirth or some jazz.

Several important things happen here, pretty much all simultaneously, heralding Our Chosen One (Drizzt):

The attack on House DeVir goes super well for House Do'Urden

The second oldest brother, Dinin, kills his wizard elder brother (known as the elderboy by the creative geniuses of Menzoberranzan) which means Drizzt can survive because they need a replacement wizard boy.

We learn that Drizzt's father (one of Malice's several consorts) is Zaknafein, who fucking hates his life and how shitty drow society is but also is really good at murder and so he kind of hangs out doing that for House Do'Urden

A wizard who melted his face off fails to kill Alton DeVir, the last of the house of DeVir, which means technically House Do'Urden's attack was illegitimate. However, Masoj Hun'ett, of another powerful house, kills the faceless wizard and Alton takes the wizard's place, but desires VENGEANCE.

Drizzt has lavender eyes but is not blind. His eye color will come up approximately a zillion times. I considered counting, but trust me it's SO many.

The rest of the book covers the following, roughly in order:

Drizzt is super good at everything from a young age; he is placed in the care of his only full sibling, Vierna. Zak manages to successfully argue that Drizzt's dexterity is SO good that he HAS to be a fighter and not a wizard, which permits him to train Drizzt, who is, as discussed, good at everything. He almost mercy-kills him before school because he'd rather his son die innocent than become a drow, but also he hates the idea of killing a child, and also Drizzt is a really good fighter, and so it doesn't happen. They depart on bad terms though.

Drizzt then goes to fighter school (instead of wizard school) and is an excellent fighter but not naturally deceptive and backstabbing because he is Pure of Heart; he is constantly skirting trouble by asking such questions as "why do we all want to murder each other all the time though" and "why is our graduation ceremony a drug fueled spider goddess orgy"

Masoj and Alton scheme; Alton eventually learns in a hoisted by his own petard way that the faceless wizard was also of house Hun,ett, and that house is willing to help him strike back at house Do'Urden

Masoj has a magic panther named Guenhwyvar who likes Drizzt more than him.

Drizzt goes on a surface raid and fucking loves the surface, and feels bad about murdering the surface elves, so he fakes the brutal slaughter of an elven girl. Lolth sees this and doesn't like it one bit and blames the whole house.

Drizzt proves himself on other patrols, and realizes Masoj Hun'ett keeps trying to fucking kill him, notably on a patrol where they run into deep gnomes (svirfneblin). Drizzt spares one of them as well. Dinin is growing suspicious.

Malice realizes that Lolth is mad and assumes it's Zaknafein, known problem, but Lolth tells her someone already knows

Drizzt tells her about Masoj, under questioning

Drizzt and Zak reunite and realize they are kindred spirits who are like "wait our society is MAD fucked up and miserable" and excitedly decide to run away and stop being miserable, BUT Malice is Scrying on them the whole time.

Drizzt goes out to clear his mind and gets cornered by Masoj and Alton. They try to kill him. Joke's on them! Drizzt kills Masoj, Alton's own wand blows up and kills him, and Drizzt gets the panther.

HOWEVER joke is also on Drizzt because Malice approaches Zak and tells him she's going to murder Drizzt, to which Zak tells her to kill him instead. She does so.

Drizzt learns of this and runs away.

The entire book is threaded through with Drizzt's first person reflections, which are actually quite touching at times but also definitely kind of overwrought so I do keep reading them as if they are Sex and the City/Scrubs/Winona Ryder in the 80s (Beetlejuice, Heathers) diary entries

And so our stage is set. If I recall correctly book two is "you have your father's morals; and his tendency towards clinical depression" so we're going to have a rollicking good time (genuine).

[controlmyfeet]

⚽️ 💜 🍿 !!

⚽️ what are your hobbies aside from writing fics?

that’s a hard one bc i’m not a consistent person so i’m not sure i’ve done something for long enough to be considered a hobbie lol 😭 but i really like to read (both fics and books!!!), i play the piano and guitar. i was really into doing my makeup just for fun for sometime but i don’t consider it a hobbie anymore and i got really into baking during quarantine but ever since it ended i’ve baked one banana bread and it wasn’t even that good 💔

💜 what inspired you to join 1975 tumblr?

i downloaded tumblr when i was 11 (don’t do that) and this is the only account i’ve ever used, i just change the theme for whatever i am hyperfixating on at the moment but i never interacted with anyone just reblogged something here and there. i guess i just felt like interacting more with 75blr because i felt like all of the people i followed were moots and it was so fun seeing everyone interact that i just wanted to be a part of it, i guess 🫶

🍿who are a few of your favorite authors on 1975 tumblr?

i’m going to keep this simple bc i went all out on the fic rec ask last time lol but my top 5 (no order) aka the authors i reread the most are @lottiecrabie @toomuchracket @think0fmehigh @kscheibles @cowboylor @shinycollarboneapologist @wrongendofurcigarette @yourtouchismidas

[heartthrobin]

i don't really use my blog much. mostly to like things that i want to save and to read fanfiction. but i wanted to write to you. i've read harry potter 4 times and have recently started on my 5th—with my last read being over 7 years ago, so it's been quite fun. harry potter was what brought me into the rich world of fanfiction as a tween and i've been a reader since, especially of x reader fanfic. that's always been my preferred story, and countless authors over the years have fed my yearning-brand of escapism. now that i'm older, and an adult, fanfiction isn't as big a part of my life day-to-day, even if it's part of my formation as a person and author.

i stumbled upon 'the hate game' late at night while browsing the harry potter x reader tag, as one does. and it rekindled something in me. while the anniversary of the first book inspired me to begin my reread, it wasn't until your fic that i got to reading. i've read the first two books within the span of two days. after not reading much for years due to quarantine, it feels healing to devour stories insatiably like this. especially a story i love so much.

ultimately i don't know why i'm writing all this. maybe just to get these feelings out to someone who will understand. i want to say that 'the hate game' did something to me. it scratched an itch that i've been meaning to address for quarantine, an itch i've found myself picking at since covid and the irreversible affects it did on my life.

so i want to say thank you. for writing, for sharing. i've never reblogged anything on this account. i want to reblog 'the hate game.' i've not a single follower to my name, and this account is secret to all those who know me, but i feel that it's important to show it somewhere. for someone out there to know an anonymous tumblr user, whose passion for reading was snuffed almost four years ago, was found again. all because of you.

thank you.

hi my friend. i have to say, this inbox moved me very deeply. it was so so beautiful and i shed a fair few tears because i can't believe that something little old me decided to write about her silly childhood book crush could compel someone to feel such ways. i am extremely grateful to you for sharing your feelings and our stories with harry potter re-reads and x reader fanfiction are actually very very similar.

thank you for your absolutely kind words and i hope you enjoy the second part of my fic, because it was this very inbox that gave me the motivation to finish and post it. i hope you have an amazing day and know that you made somebody out there in the world's week with your message. 💛

[kazscrows]

Six of Crows Reread🪶

Chapter 45: Kaz

The deal is the deal

Unfortunately everyone is a bloody liar

Why had he believed Van Eck had the blessing of the Merchant Council? Because he was a rich, upstanding mercher? Because he’d dressed his own servants and soldiers in the purple uniforms of the stadwatch? Kaz had met with Van Eck in a quarantined mercher’s house, not a government building, but he’d been taken in by a little set dressing. It was Hertzoon and his coffeehouse all over again, only now Kaz was old enough to know better.

Ouch

“Chaos will come, and I will be its master. Its very wealthy master.”

Could’ve been a banger of a line if it wasn’t from Van Eck

The little freak

Oh look we finally get to learn just how horrible a father he is

Van Eck began to laugh – a warm, almost jovial chuckle, but its edges were jagged and bitter.

“Let me tell you about my son.” He spat the word as if it were poison on his lips. “He was meant to be heir to one of the greatest fortunes in all of Kerch, an empire with shipping lines that reach all over the globe, one built by my father, and my father’s father. But my son, the boy meant to rule this grand empire, cannot do what a child of seven years can. He can solve an equation. He can paint and play the flute most prettily. What my son cannot do, Mister Brekker, is read. He cannot write. I have hired the best tutors from every corner of the world. I’ve tried specialists, tonics, beatings, hypnotism. But he refused to be taught. I finally had to accept that Ghezen saw fit to curse me with a moron for a child. Wylan is a boy who will never grow to be a man. He is a disgrace to my house.”

“The letters …” said Jesper, and Kaz could see the anger in his face. “You weren’t pleading with him to come back. You were mocking him.”

I volunteer to punch Jan Van Eck in the face!!

After Jesper and Wylan get the first swings in of course

Leverage number one doesn’t work out quite like Kaz had imagined

But of course he has a backup plan

If you’re reading this, then you know how much I wish to have you home. Every letter had been a slap in the face to Wylan, a kind of cruel joke.

“He’s your son,” Jesper said.

“No, he is a mistake. One soon to be corrected.”

So so cruel

Doesn’t he have any love inside of him?

“You’re the fool,” Jesper snarled. “He’s smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you.”

YEAH YOU TELL HIM JESPER!!

The Tidemakers didn’t hesitate. Before anyone could draw breath to protest, two huge walls of water rose and shot towards the Ferolind. They crushed the ship between them with a resonant boom, sending debris flying.

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

“Jesper!” Kaz commanded. “Stand down!”

“He killed them,” Jesper said, face contorted. “He killed Wylan and Nina!”

Poor Jesper…

This scene will be so intense in the spin-off

Please

I need it—

Jesper looked back at the rocking waves, at the broken bits of mast and torn sail where a ship had been only seconds before. “I don’t … I don’t understand.”

“I confess to being a bit shocked, too, Mister Brekker,” said Van Eck. “No tears? No righteous protests for your lost crew? They raise you cold in the Barrel.”

“Cold and cautious,” said Kaz.

Even more cautious than you realize

I can’t remember my initial reaction to this part exactly but I’m pretty sure I figured Kaz would have tricks up his sleeve

Like there was no way Nina and “Wylan” were killed off after everything and with only a chapter to go

Plus I knew there was a second book

“I don’t need to take him from you. You never had him. That’s not Kuwei Yul-Bo.”

“A sorry bluff at best.”

“I’m not big on bluffing, am I, Inej?”

“Not as a rule.”

Van Eck’s lip curled. “And why is that?”

“Because he’d rather cheat,” said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

Van Eck startled at the sound of his voice, and Jesper flinched.

The Shu boy held out a hand. “Pay up, Kaz.”

Kaz sighed. “I do hate to lose a wager. You see, Van Eck, Wylan bet me that you would have no qualms about ending his life. Call me sentimental, but I didn’t believe a father could be so callous.”

Please I forget they literally bet on this 😂😭😭

Also the fact that Kaz asked Inej and the fact that she knows he actually is big on bluffing

He trusts her so much!

She knows all his secrets

And she’ll never betray him

I mean he uses this trick at least three times in this series

Bluffing/lying/cheating to scare someone is Kaz’s favorite tactic

Oh… oh but this makes Jesper flinching at the reveal super painful

Kaz trusted Inej to know about Wylan and Kuwei swapping places, but he didn’t trust Jesper….

He probably did it to get a genuine reaction from Jesper as well but the trust issue thing is definitely there too

Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes – Wylan’s surprising courage, too.

After the battle in the Djerholm harbour, the merchling had come to Kaz to warn him that he couldn’t be used as leverage against his father. Wylan had been red-faced, barely able to speak the words of his supposed ‘affliction’. Kaz had only shrugged. Some men were poets. Some were farmers. Some were rich merchers. Wylan could draw a perfect elevation. He’d made a drill that could cut through Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn’t read?”

It’s been said before but I’ll say it again

It’s really beautiful how Kaz doesn’t judge others on their flaws

“There could be no judgment from a boy known as Dirtyhands” -chapter 20

He looks for the best part of every individual and makes that part of them shine

Or he finds some way for them to be useful at least

Kaz shrugged. “Kill us, and you’ll never find Kuwei.”

Van Eck appeared to consider this. Then he stepped back. “Guards to me!” he shouted. “Kill everyone but Brekker!”

Kaz knew the instant he made his mistake. They’d all known it might come to this. He should have trusted his crew. His eyes should have stayed trained on Van Eck. Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

This line oh my gosh—

KaNej—

And Van Eck saw it. He blew on his whistle. “Leave the others! Get the money and the girl.”

Do you hear that?

No?

Well it’s me screaming

He tries to run to protect her!!

Please I am SOBBING 😭

“The Tidemakers reached her first, vanishing into mist, then reappearing at her side. But only a fool would to try to take Inej in close combat. The Tidemakers were fast – vanishing and reappearing, grabbing at her. But she was the Wraith, and her knives found heart, throat, spleen. Blood spilled over the sand as the Tidemakers collapsed in two very solid heaps.

She’s so cool

Oh my gosh

they had to face the sun to shoot and not even Jesper could aim blind.

Hmm.. this is interesting

I don’t think the show follows this statement

Jesper has literally shot without looking several times

The Squaller barrelled into Inej and sped upwards with her into the sky.

Stay still, Kaz urged her silently, his pistol drawn.

Something about Kaz with a gun just make me so…

So…. Hnnnnnnngh

It’s hot, okay?

AND THEN SHE’S FALLING

AND HE TRIES TO RUN TO HER AGAIN!!

Ashjfssfhjvsadh—

A third Squaller swooped down, snatching her up seconds before impact and dealing her a vicious blow to the skull. Kaz saw Inej’s body go limp.

“Bring him down!” roared Matthias.

“No!” shouted Kaz. “Shoot him and she falls, too!”

He can’t watch her fall…

It terrifies him

…. “Why the net, Kaz?”

Some hints for later I see??

But now she’s gone-

There was nothing they could do but stand there like fools and watch her shape get smaller in the sky – a distant moon, a fading star, then gone.

There and then gone…

Just like the magic trick

Just like Jordie..

But he can get her back!

Vengeance for Jordie, all Kaz had worked for, was slipping away. He didn’t care…

…“Kaz, I can make the shot,” said Jesper, rifle to his shoulder. “Van Eck is still in range.”

And all would be lost – Inej, the money, everything.

“No,” Kaz said. “Let them go.”

Inej is his first thought

He values her more than his revenge

He felt as he had looking into the darkened windows of the house on Zelverstraat. Helpless once more. He’d prayed to the wrong god.

It hurts 😭

Kaz marvelled at his own stupidity. Dumber than a pigeon fresh off the boat and looking to make a fortune on East Stave. His greatest vulnerability had been right beside him. And now she was gone.

Poor Kaz

He’s so hard on himself

Love isn’t a weakness!!

😭😭😭

The idea of “there and then gone” keeps coming up though and I love and hate it!

“That’s why you disappeared during the journey,” said Jesper. “You weren’t helping Matthias care for Nina. You were hiding.”

“I didn’t hide.”

“You … how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I thought it was Kuwei?”

“Every time.”

“Nina might not be able to put you back, you know. Not without another dose of parem. You could be stuck like this.”

“Why does it matter?”

“I don’t know!” Jesper said angrily. “Maybe I liked your stupid face.”

See I told you it was Wylan

I say this like I haven’t read these books like five times already

I’m actually here for angry Jesper??

I want more strong emotions from him in the show

He turned to Matthias. “You knew. Wylan knew. Inej knew. Everyone but me.”

“Ask me why, Jesper,” Kaz said, his patience at an end.

Here comes pain

It hurts because it was an accident

Jesper would never willfully betray the other crows

This echos the opening scene of the book with Big Bolliger a little

Just this time the betrayal wasn’t on purpose

“You told one of the Dime Lions you were leaving Kerch, but that you’d be coming into big money, didn’t you?”

Jesper swallowed. “I had to. They were leaning on me hard. My father’s farm—”

“I told you not to tell anyone you were leaving the country. I warned you to keep your mouth shut.”

“I didn’t have a choice! You had me locked up in the Crow Club before we left. If you’d let me—”

Kaz turned on him. “Let you what? Play a few hands of Three Man Bramble? Dig yourself deeper in with every boss in the Barrel stupid enough to extend you credit? You told a member of Pekka’s gang you were about to be flush.”

“I didn’t know he’d go to Pekka. Or that Pekka knew about parem. I was just trying to buy myself some time.”

“Saints, Jesper, you really haven’t learned anything in the Dregs, have you? You’re still the same dumb farm boy who stepped off the boat.”

Is he talking about Jesper here or himself…

Hmmmmmmmm…?

“Kaz would always remember that moment, when he’d seen greed take hold of his brother, an invisible hand guiding him onward, the lever at work.”

Remember that quote from chapter 18?

Yeah.

Kaz is definitely thinking about Jordie when he looks at Jesper and his gambling problem

Jesper lunged for him, and Kaz felt a surge of giddy violence. Finally, a fight he could win. But Matthias stepped between them, holding them each back with a massive hand. “Stop. Stop this.”Kaz didn’t want to stop. He wanted to beat them all bloody and then brawl his way through the Barrel.

This man does have a tendency to get into fights a lot

He’s always coming back bloody during their heists and schemes

Anyways-

They’re so brothers

Kaz wants to see Jesper as his big brother but he keeps letting him down…

Just like Jordie did—

For now, there was nothing but the flat grey of the sky and the dead rock of this miserable excuse for an island. And Inej’s absence. Kaz wanted to hit someone. He wanted someone to hit him.

I’m sure Jesper would happily deck you if you let him

If Kaz was their leader, then Inej had been their lodestone, pulling them together when they seemed most likely to drift apart.

I love this comparison

Inej holds them all together!!

According to that deleted scene we got today she’s their heart!! 💕

Nina had disguised Kaz’s crow-and-cup tattoo before they’d entered the Ice Court, but he hadn’t let her near the R on his bicep. Now he touched his gloved fingers to where the sleeve of his coat covered that mark. Without meaning to, he’d let Kaz Rietveld return.

He didn’t know if it had begun with Inej’s injury or that hideous ride in the prison wagon, but somehow he’d let it happen and it had cost him dearly.

I think he started coming back even sooner than that…

I want him to let Rietveld free but at least he’s making a plan

Also give us Kaz’s tattoos netflix!!!!

“Scheming face,” murmured Jesper.

“Definitely,” agreed Wylan.

Matthias folded his arms. “Digging in your bag of tricks, demjin?”

I love it

Kaz wants to go after Inej alone!

But he knows he’ll need help

“I’ll need the right crew.”

“Wylan got to his feet. “For the Wraith.”

Jesper followed, still not meeting Kaz’s eyes. “For Inej,” he said quietly.

Matthias gave a single sharp nod.

They all love Inej so much 🥹

Inej had wanted Kaz to become someone else, a better person, a gentler thief. But that boy had no place here. That boy ended up starving in an alley. He ended up dead. That boy couldn’t get her back.

No!

He can survive now!!

He has friends! A family!!!

Though… I guess he does need Dirtyhands Brekker for what comes next..

I’m going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I’m going to get my girl.

YEAH YOU ARE

THAT’S MY MAN!!!

WRECK HIS PLANS—

Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he’d promised her so long ago.

He really loves her

Enough to let her go 🥹

It’s heartbreaking

Dirtyhands had come to see the rough work done.

Aaaannnd that wraps it for the Crows! Just Pekka’s chapter left!!

First | Previous | Next

[elliedafish]

2. do you drink tea or coffee? how do you take it?

11. what color are your eyes?

27. what's your favorite book? or just one you've read a few times?

41. what's your favorite cartoon?

Ooh, thanks!

2. I like tea and honestly I'll drink any kind without any additives. Sugar isn't bad though and I love Chamomile.

11. I have brown eyes. They are actually the exact same shade as my mom's.

27. My favorite is One of Us is Lying by Karen M. McManus, but I'm currently rereading Solitaire by Alice Oseman for the second time.

41. Ooh, I'm pretty sure I have an answer for this, but I can't think of it right now. I did binge all of The Powerpuff Girls during the middle of quarantine, so I guess that for right now.

[goosemixtapes]

max’s top books of 2022 :3

past top tens here & here! as always, these rankings are based on some nebulous alchemical combination of “it’s objectively good” and “i like it a lot.”

weird reading year! lots of mediocre books! lots of rereads! lots of things i felt very mid about! but i did finish the shakespearean canon, so, fuck yeah! more details beneath the cut.

in place of runner-ups this year, i’m pioneering a brand new category called BOOKS I LOATHED. those being: Mourning Becomes Electra by Eugene O’Neill (why would you write a retelling of something as cool as the oresteia and make it stilted, misogynist, and incestuous); Dracula (holy fucking shit is this book boring. i did enjoy dracula daily, though); this fucking Dan Brown book i couldn’t even finish which is rare for a guy with completionism OCD; and, of course, my least favorite book of this year & one of my least favorites ever, Robinson Crusoe (i can’t summarize my thoughts in parentheses. click my review)

my top anticipated 2023 release is alecto the ninth. no notes.

okay, the list, in order of increasing enjoyment:

10. The Ides by Stephen Dando-Collins

roman history hyperfixation went fucking insane this year, gang. roman history hyperfixation went fucking one thousand. i haven’t read every book about the late republic (not even close to it), so i can’t speak to how this measures up in the field, but if you’re interested in the assassination of julius caesar, you should check this shit out. i particularly appreciated the amount of direct quotes from historical figures included, because that 1) made it easier to read 2) made the historical figures it concerned feel closer. this book flows like a thriller until the actual ides; the discussion of the aftermath is a little less gripping, but so goes history.

9. What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon

this is the first of its kind i’ve ever read--a book centered around the oppression fat people face, focused on 1) breaking down fatphobic factual misconceptions (like the idea that diets are a cure-all or even that diets are all that effective) and 2) examining the effect that fatphobia has on individuals and society. beautifully well-researched; beautifully written. wish i could beam this entire book into the head of everyone around me. (gordon has a new release coming out in 2023!)

8. Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes by Jessica Pan

this is not a self-help book, but i read it like one. it is not, either, despite what the title may suggest, some trite thinkpiece about introversion being So Cool And Quirky Special!, or about introversion being A Curse On The Bloodline That Must Be Cured. it’s more autobiographical than that: it’s the author’s story of a year in which she tried to exposure-therapy herself into being more outgoing, friendly, and honest, and not only is it very well-written, it’s also just really fun to read! have you ever wanted to experience improv vicariously without actually having to do improv? this is the book for that.

7. Aeschylus’s Oresteia

greek tragedy doesn’t do it for me like shakespearean tragedy, but hooooooly shit. holy shit. i had the pleasure of studying these plays in a class and they made my head spin inside out. the IMAGERY! the VIOLENCE! the TOXIC FAMILY DYNAMICS! the RAGE! the GRIEF! the VENGEANCE! the MILF! the oresteia has it fucking all! if i pop up with a lesbian orestes book in five months, look away. (goosemixtapes, inc would like to note that there is no lesbian orestes book in progress.)

6. The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black

AKA the only vampire media that exists. in which vampirism is a contagious disease, and vampires are sectioned off in government-run quarantine “coldtowns,” where some of them kill people and some of them become instagram influencers. (not literally, but they might as well; this book is almost metacommentary on the allure of the romantic-gorgeous-sparkly-pop-culture vampire). every character is beautifully well-drawn, especially for a YA standalone; i even found myself rooting for the heterosexual romance! also, there’s a trans girl, and she doesn’t even die! this was a recommendation from my dearest @yvesdot​, and it has crack in it. it has crack cocaine in it

5. Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher

apparently i’m on a nonfiction sweep. (to be fair, “read more nonfiction” was one of my reading goals this year.) this is what it sounds like--a candid and shockingly clear-eyed memoir chronicling the author’s fourteen-year struggle with eating disorders--and also more than that--an incisive exploration of both hornbacher and the family and society that shaped her, with some of the rawest and most evocative prose i’ve read in a long time. not recommended for the faint of heart or people with triggers around disordered eating (or, at least, i recommend you step very carefully), but wow, i’m going to be thinking about this one forever.

4. Cassandra by Christa Wolf & Lavinia by Ursula K. Le Guin

okay, this one is a double feature. which i recognize is weird, because these are different books by different authors published in different years, but on a metatextual level, these books are holding hands. these books are lesbian kissing, even. both of them take a character from classical epic/theater--cassandra the prophet from troy; lavinia from the latter half of the aeneid--and tells the story through her eyes, in a very deliciously metatextual way. wolf’s novel (more of a monologue), written in east germany under the looming threat of nuclear war in europe, is rife with themes about war and destruction and the rise and fall of cultures. le guin’s novel is more interested in narratives, fate, and fictionality, but war themes are again at play, because it’s the aeneid. also, both of these authors truly understand aeneas from the aeneid and i don’t say that fucking lightly. books written for a target audience of me

3. Roman Shakespeare: Warriors, Wounds and Women by Coppélia Kahn

okay i don’t even have anything to say for myself here. i’m thinking about victor @asimpleram​ saying my yearly top 10 list is just an english class assigned reading list. but as one of the few people in the world who is derangedly interested in how gender is constructed in antony and fucking cleopatra (and also julius caesar. and shakespeare in general. but i got really into FUCKING antony and cleopatra this year), i could annotate this book for ages. i filled a google doc with so many screenshots from this book that it negatively affected my drive storage situation. shakespeare fans eat fucking good

2. Saga by Brian K. Vaughan

i’m not particularly into outer-space scifi, so i wasn’t expecting to like saga, but i started it, again, at the behest of @yvesdot​ (as i was in their house and they were handing it to me). and then it proceeded to do horrible horrible things to me to the point where i haven’t picked up the new issue because i’m still recovering from the way volume 9 got my ass*. this comic is a fucking masterclass in 1. creating compelling characters in a reduced amount of space and 2. maintaining constant narrative tension while also sprinkling in just enough happy/hopeful moments that the devastating plot beats hurt all the more. also, the character concepts go crazy hard and it’s anti-war as fuck. also, again, trans woman who doesn’t even die! cw for lots of, um, explicitly drawn sexual content (sooo many dicks in this comic oh my god) but if you are ready to have your heart broken you need to pick this up.

*i am physically fucking incapable of attaching myself to characters who survive things. just fyi

1. the Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir

and speaking of having your heart broken. i dearly dearly hope nobody is surprised by this one. lumping all three of these into one category because i don’t want to pick a favorite (it’s GTN), and because i have the same thing to say about all three of them: READ THESE BOOKS. i knew before i turned the last page that Gideon the Ninth was going to be my book of the year; it’s been a long, long, LONG fucking time since i’ve wished so badly i had written this exact book myself. do you like BUTCHES? do you like NECROMANCY? do you like CATHOLIC AESTHETIC THAT ALSO CRITICIZES CATHOLIC IMPERIALISM? do you like DYNAMICS WITH THE COMPLEX TOXICITY LEVELS OF NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS? do you like SEXY WORLDBUILDING? do you like expertly-crafted ENSEMBLE CASTS? do you like STORIES THAT ARE WELL-WRITTEN? do you like WORDS? man, you’ve gotta try TLT. yes, i know that the worldbuilding is sometimes abstruse; i know that everyone spends 90% of the first read in absolute confusion; i know that muir’s sense of humor isn’t universal. but i also know these are some of the best books i’ve ever read, and some of my favorites of all time. absolutely world-changing.

if you’ve read this far--you’re very brave! please tell me your favorite (and least favorite) books of the year! drop recs if you have them! and have a happy new year!

[phoebebuggers]

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the inbox of the last ten people who reblogged something from you, get to know your mutuals and your followers

ok 5 things that make me happy:

my dog❤️‍🩹she’s a 9 year old collie so we’ve had her for pretty much half my life and i’ve definitely grown up with her. she used to be a bundle of energy and she’s definitely slowed down now but she’s still the absolute sweetest. i’m probably going to get out of bed right after this and attack her with cuddles

my brothers! one still lives at home and is autistic (sorry if this isn’t the best terminology but he’s “severely” autistic, aka pretty much nonverbal, will never live alone, etc) he’s the gentlest, most nonjudgmental person i know and the other is pretty much me but extroverted lol. we were always two peas in a pod growing up despite our age difference and he lives a state away so we only see him maybe 6 or 7 times a year but it’s always a party🕺

my high school art teacher. random but i saw him this weekend so i was thinking about it. thank you for making an environment where we all felt a little less alone (and thank you for having the coolest room.) sorry i used to very loudly gossip in your class for and hour and a half straight

bagels. literally the best food ever. i’m still kind of iffy with them bc of my issues with food but they’re so yum🥯🥯they also remind me of aforementioned brother who doesn’t live at home because i swear every time he calls me he’s in line to get a bagel, he used to facilitate breakfast sandwich sunday mornings during quarantine, and a few weeks ago he told me his dream job would be owning a bagel bakery (he’s a biomed student)

the percy jackson books, bc i just randomly sat down and reread battle of the labyrinth in one sitting yesterday and i forgot how much joy and comfort these books bring me.