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yellow-berrys · 2 years ago

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december boy, losing joy | sirius black x fem!reader

summary: rockstar!sirius black proposing to you, and the show that made him realise he would do it. established relationship.

warnings: none, allusions to a rough childhood and mention of cigarettes

(a/n: song in this drabble is original <3, really just a bit of prose italicised!)

“This next song is about a girl,” James fiddles with the knobs on his guitar, his voice cracking through the microphone. The crowd screams.

“That’s right, Prongs,” Sirius grins from his place at the piano, “My girl. My biggest motivation and even though she might not be my biggest fan, I certainly am hers,” he takes a swig of water.

He sweeps a glance around the arena, girls at the front drinking beer, some girls waving their undergarments at him, some guys drinking beer, some guys waving their undergarments at him. Some look envious and disappointed. Some are “awhhh”ing.

He catches your eye in the VIP box, you grinning, barely visible as you stare at him.

“And you’d be surprised that Sirius did pick up a pen and a book for this,” Remus drawls from his position at the bass.

“She’s certainly special enough,” Sirius looks up at you and winks, “Many of you might’ve heard it on the radio. Remus likes to call it “a lover’s musings” but I call it “December Boy, Losing Joy.” Yells and shouts echo as Sirius removes his earpiece. His eyes widen as he hears the noise and he puts it back in. You smile. You love seeing your boyfriend in his element.

A bra is thrown onto the stage and someone yells, “Pick it up!”

“Sorry people, but I’m taken. Remember, I haven’t done it since ever.”

“No need to be jealous either,” Remus quips into his microphone, “Loving a two year old is harder than it sounds.”

“Hey!”

“Right, boys. We good to go?” James asks.

“Ready.”

James taps a hollow beat on his guitar slowly. The audience is quiet for once, as if instructed to do so. Remus starts strumming his bass, pick moving slowly as the sounds reverberate around the room. The tune is sweet and pleasant. You tap your foot slowly to it up in the box. Unknowingly, Lily is filming your reaction to it. You look down and follow the lyrics on the little card given to you by Sirius, waiting for him to begin. His eyes are closed, light illuminating his high cheekbones. You look at him like he’s your whole world and more.

He starts playing too. The melody is a toned down version of the Pop-esque one that you’ve listened to on Spotify so many times. You never knew the song was about you, thinking it was Remus’ penning or James’ tribute to Lily. But it’s beautiful. It’s also acoustic, you think, it gives the song a certain ethereal, timeless quality. Combined with your boyfriend with his hair up, eyelashes so long, eyes sparkling, you think this must be heaven.

Sirius’ deep voice is angelic. “I was a December boy / Losing joy,” he sings. The crowd wave their phones to and fro, “Pretending I smoked cigarettes / Pretending I had no regrets.”

“Never one to be semantic / Always crude, brutal, unromantic,” The lyrics, now that you’ve thought about it, are undeniably Sirius’.

“I was stone cold / And standing on my future’s threshold,” he smiles, “I was an incorrigible man / Shortening lifespan. My excuse was that I’m young / In years I haven’t spoken my mother tongue,” the crowd sings along.

You hope the photographer they’ve hired is taking photos, because the warm spotlight illuminates where happy tears stain his porcelain skin.

“December boy / Losing joy / Saying I’ll leave this town / Never wanting to settle down / December boy / Cast iron alloy / Wasn’t one who loved enough / Always trying to call your bluff.”

“You were picture perfect / An idyllic circus,” you smile, idyllic, you had taught him that word, “Sweeping December clean / Smothering my burning gasoline / Never condescending of my ways / Lustrous, beaming gaze / What more, you cherish my past / Saying you don’t mind being my last / And you love the parts of me which I don’t / You tell me you will never leave me, you won’t.”

“I was a maximalist before I knew you / Rings on every finger, clouded world view / But you became my everything and now I need nothing more / And I told you this when you were unsure / Pretty thing / Please never leave me wondering / Where you are / I’m just a man without you, not a rockstar.”

“December boy / Losing joy.”

You sing along, reading the words, until there’s a diversion of them. You flip the card, but there are only lyrics to other songs there. The mood turns brighter.

“I was a December boy / Wearing black corduroy / Never one to be semantic / Now I’m a hopeless romantic / Not afraid of drowning in love anymore / Because my boat has arrived at your shore.”

“I tell everyone I’m going to marry you / Down Pleasant Crescent near Lover’s Avenue,” The crowd yells and shouts, “And this isn’t a proposal / You deserve one that is more than ambrosial,” he grins up at you, eyes smudged with adoration.

“And I cannot believe / Heart stealing thief / That I was once a December boy / Losing joy.”

The song goes viral. Everywhere on the internet you can see the tag #decemberboy, and the Marauders, however popular they already are, grow their fanbase tenfold. Sirius records the alternate version of the song again and he names it “December Boy, Losing Joy (Her Version)”.

The PR manager is very impressed, and gives all the boys a holiday. Remus goes home to see his old flame, James takes Lily on a trip to Honolulu and you and Sirius stay home. You’ve talked about getting married, and both of you are very keen on it. It’s just that Sirius is busy most of the time and the opportunity hasn’t ever arisen. But Sirius secretly has a ring picked out for you, one that he’s seen you look at when you think he wasn’t watching you at the mall. Lily has sent him the video of you beaming when marriage came up in his song, so he thinks you definitely like the idea.

Lily and James should arrive the Sunday after, you learn, but they’re coming home earlier. Remus is already back but re-doing his house.

Sirius comes into the room where you’re tapping on your computer, “Do you want to go on a date, pretty? The restaurant near the beach?”

Your cheeks heat up, “Now?”

“When else?” He laughs, and he’s already wearing a suit. It clings to his body in all the right ways and makes you flustered and hot. His eyes gaze at you intensely.

“Everything okay, lovely?” He stoops down to curl a stray lock of hair back. You’re still a blushing idiot in front of him, after all these years.

“Yeah,” you choke out, leaving quickly, “I’ll get dressed.”

You had bought a new dress just a few weeks before, Remus’ old flame begging you to go date night shopping with her.

You slip it on, getting ready with the aim to look date-able. Grabbing your things, you meet Sirius in the walk-in-closet, where he’s studying his ties intricately. He turns in greeting and he smiles cheesily, “Wow.” He’s blushing now too.

He picks out one that matches your dress.

“You’re really, really beautiful,” he says as you tie his tie for him.

You look up at him bashfully, “Just tryna catch up with you, handsome.”

“You don’t need to catch up with me, beautiful.”

All the way to the restaurant, he’s tense. He feels your small hand on his thigh, patting him.

“You okay, Siri?”

“Yeah.”

His hands grip the steering wheel tightly, and his knuckles turn white.

“Are you sure, honey?”

You’re so sweet he almost wants to ask you here. Even though the ring is still in Remus’ pocket. But he forces a smile, “Great.”

Sirius is not normally this tense, but the meal is nice and he’s perfect. Instead of leading you back to the car, he pads onto the sand nearby, “You coming?”

“Shoes, Siri, shoes.”

You sit down and he takes them off for you, holding them.

“Why are we here?”

“The view is nice, I thought you’d appreciate it.”

“It is.”

You bask in the worldliness of it all. You miss Remus approaching quietly and handing Sirius the ring, having mastered the art of slinking away. It’s only when you see all of your friends approaching, a camera in every second person’s hand, when you frown. You turn to Sirius. He’s looking at you like he’s infatuated, and shakily gets down on one knee, dropping your shoes and taking your hands into his. Is this really about to happen?

“My love, I love you with all my heart and I promised to give you a proposal more than ambrosial so here it is. These last few years have made me realise that I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side and let everyone else know that too. I want to love you as much as I can, and I want you to be with me in everything that I do, everywhere I go. Will you continue making me the happiest man in the world and marry me? Please?”

The delivery is short and sweet, Sirius’ way of doing things. You grin, throwing your arms around him.

“Yes. Yes!”

Sirius breaks out into a big smile, and slides the ring you had been marvelling at the other day on your finger.

He lifts you and kisses you, deep and passionate and loving. Your friends cheer.

You spend the rest of the night on the beach with your December boy, finding joy.

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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 1 year ago

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The Origin of Hangman

Summary: Hangman contemplates his own personal meaning behind his callsign.

Word Count: 1.3k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only

Warnings: Mentions of Past Iceman / Mitchell!Sister!OC; Mentions of Death; References to Car Accidents; Guilt; Mourning; Loss of a Parent; References to Therapy; References to Mental Health Issues; Mentions of Blood; Crippling Self-Loathing; ANGST

A.N. Set during TGM (after Beach Scene)

This is probably the darkest piece that I’ve published on here FYI. If death and dark thoughts are triggering to you, DON’T READ THIS! You have been warned!

Last day of October, so I thought I would sneak this in for Whumptober vibes even though it doesn’t fit a specific prompt.

Master List

It always seemed fitting to Jake how his callsign was synonymous with ‘killer.’

After his first air-to-air, all anyone could talk about was how great of a pilot he was. How he had perfect aim and not a lick of fear in his system. But all Jake saw in the mirror was a man desperate to rub the blood off his hands, as if the blood of innocent people hadn’t stained his skin since he was a child. As if he could even remember a time when there wasn’t blood on his hands.

The second that his callsign was announced, he was suddenly brought back to all those therapy sessions that his dad set up for him when he was a kid. And then for the first few weeks of his life as ‘Hangman,’ every time that he heard his callsign, it was like the ghost of his mom popped up and slapped him across the face over and over again.

And Jake didn’t talk about his mom.

Not with his dad. Not with his uncle. Not with Javy. Definitely not with Bradley. Not with anyone.

The subject was simply too sensitive, too personal, and too overwhelming to talk about without some kind of illicit substance in his system. The last time that he really sat down and talked in depth about his mom was in therapy when he was probably fourteen or so. Every time someone tried to bring up the subject, he shut it down. He always just shut down.

He’d been over it a thousand times with Dr. John and his dad sat him down a number of times over his childhood, but it never fully clicked in Jake’s head. Or maybe he simply didn’t want it to stick. For whatever reason, he always looped around to the idea that it was his fault. It was all his fault.

His mom was dead because of him. He had her blood on his hands.

And he knew that it was ridiculous. How was he supposed to know that the night would go like that? It was supposed to be day of celebration, not a day of tragedy. And it wasn’t like he could have changed what happened in the moment. He was asleep in the backseat when it happened.

But those thoughts were still there, tucked in the back of his mind, and popping up at the most inopportune times in his life. The ones where he heard his dad and his uncle and his Aunt Carole and even his mom herself yell those three words at him.

It’s your fault.

And he believed them. Every time.

Maybe it was one of the Mitchell traits he inherited from his mom—the need to turn oneself into Atlas. The one to bear everyone else’s burdens. Ice mourned Jake’s mom, Jake knew. There’s a photo of his father standing at the funeral that would haunt Jake for years. It was the expression of a man who had broken into a thousand pieces the night before and barely glued them back together in time.

But Ice moved on. He found happiness again. He lived his life.

But Maverick coped in a way similar to Jake. There were photos of Jake’s mom all around Maverick’s hangar and throughout his personal belongings. Maverick gave Jake plenty of mementos of his mom, little pieces of her to keep with him for when he needed them.

But the clearest difference was on Jake’s birthday.

On Jake’s birthdays after the accident, when Ice was home, it was like a normal child’s birthday. There was cake with candles, there was singing, there were presents. Jake didn’t want them, but he went along with it to keep his dad happy. After all, if he was successfully lying to his therapists, he could successfully lie to his dad too.

But the birthdays where Ice was gone and it was just Maverick, there wasn’t much of anything. Maverick would take him for a long drive or a long flight, most of which was silent. They would have dinner at a restaurant and then there was a simple cupcake with a singular candle. And that was it. No singing, no presents, no excess. It happened and then they moved on. End of story.

Because no matter how many times he sat down with his therapist or his dad and talked it over, it never left his mind that his birthday and the anniversary of his mom’s death were the same day. And they would continue to be. Forever.

“You have a tattoo?” Phoenix asked, breaking Hangman out of his deep thoughts.

He turned to spot Phoenix behind him, casually sipping on a beer like the rest of the Dagger Squad—save for Bob, anyways—were on the sand. They had just wrapped up a long day of beach football and were all content to simple sit and watch the waves. And it was that serenity that seemed to pull Jake into that part of his mind that he tried to keep under lock and key at all times.

“Yeah,” Jake replied, subconsciously reaching for it.

Between his shoulder blades and below the traditional shirt neckline were two simple wings that somewhat resembled the Top Gun symbol over his mother’s name, which was written in her own handwriting that he salvaged from some letters that she wrote to his dad.

He got it done when he was eighteen. On his birthday, actually. That was one of the years when Ice wasn’t home. Maverick took him and didn’t ask questions. Not before. Not during. And not after. Ice didn’t find out about the tattoo until about eight months later and when he saw it for the first time, he simply pulled Jake in for a tight hug before excusing himself for a moment.

“And that’s the only question that I’m answering about it.”

Getting up from his seat, Jake muttered something as an excuse before leaving the beach on his own. Rooster and Javy were the only two people in the group who knew the meaning behind the tattoo and it was going to stay that way.

Because Jake didn’t talk about his mom.

Phoenix looked confused at how a single harmless question had gotten Jake into such a state, but the look on Javy’s face told her that she wasn’t going to get any answers. So, the rest of the Daggers simply bid goodbye to Jake, who carried on as if he didn’t hear them. Reaching his truck, Jake pulled his shirt back over his head and started to prepare to drive out when Maverick came walking over.

“You going home?” Maverick asked Jake, who did not respond verbally. After a moment, Maverick nodded and added, “Give her my love.”

“I will,” Jake stated softly before starting the truck.

Picking up the brightest flowers available from the grocery store on the way, Jake gripped the steering wheel tightly. When he came to a stop light, Jake glanced down at the bright yellow flowers he bought. His dad told him that his mom always insisted that he had to buy bright and fun flowers. Nothing serious like roses or too dark, lest someone think they were for a funeral.

Parking along the cemetery road, Jake walked down the aisle of green grass before pausing at a simple gray stone that had ‘Kazansky’ carved into it. His mother’s first name laid below it with the phrase ‘Loving Mother, Wife, and Sister.’ And then her date of birth and date of death, which was also Jake’s fourth birthday.

Jake tidied up around his mother’s grave before placing the bright yellow flowers down beside the longstanding photo of the family of three—Ice, her, and Jake. It was taken three months before his mother’s death. There was also a toy F-18 that Maverick left there a long time ago that seemed to be integral to the set up now.

He sat down, but did not say a word.

Because Jake did not discuss his mom. Not even with her.

#top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction #top gun: maverick #top gun #tgm #tgm fanfiction #jake hangman seresin #top gun hangman #jake seresin #hangman seresin #hangman top gun #hangman #tom iceman kazansky #tom kazansky #pete mitchell #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky x oc

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tartrat · 3 months ago

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Visceral Reaction.

A Visceral reaction is described as "A Powerful Physical Response That Happens Automatically Without Any Conscious Control". Kapyy here is angry but he’s also laughing at himself because of it, losing the look of anger and adopting an unnerving smile.

I mentioned in my first actually decent looking fanart, That i headcanon Kapyy as being someone who just bottles everything up and is putting on an act. This is the result of him just breaking down entirely. And i know that its a bit of the jump from the last kapyy related thing I posted. But honestly if eating crayons keeps him happy then we should let him.

I got the idea when the words "Visceral Reaction" got stuck in my head, and started to think about how such a reaction could be shown. The first image that popped up on google was of a guy who showed a grotesque depiction of laughter.

I can't really describe the emotion that he's portraying, but its like when you are angry but you start just laughing and smiling uncontrollably. This happens to me when i'm mad at someone, i just slowly start laughing whilst still feeling fuzzy from being angry.

Whilst making this i thought it looked weird and the primary reason being because we don't get to see his full face in game, as his eyes are covered by the glasses, but as i finished it, he looked more normal.

I have ideas in my head that i can never put down on paper. One of which was of me developing my headcanon that Kapyy and Talia Sway are twins who were separated at birth. This idea was when they went to cyberfunk, kapyy broke after they finished what they were doing. This portrait (Well landscape but its more of a portrait to me) is a visualisation of this idea.

I didn' give him his other accessories (headphones, bracelets etc.) because he had discarded them before this drawing takes place. I also don't like drawing stuff like that, i find it awkward to make it look good.

The Background is just the background from I'm Good, but i saturated it and turned down the brightness, before i used the gaussian blur filter. I like playing around with those tools on procreate. I wanted to do something different but nothing i did looked good.

The main point of inspiration here was "The Desperate Man" (Though translated from French, le désespéré, its more close to “The Desperate one”. I remember on the back wall of my art classroom in school, there was a replica of it that someone had done. The reason i chose this painting was due to the expression. The expression became stuck in my mind recently and i thought that it would be a fun excercise, just to practice more expressions, and as mentioned above i chose a different expression that shows off a different emotion. I just liked the pose as well and thought it was interesting.

Theres a bonus short comic doodle that i will be posting separately. It shows basically what happened afterwards, after Kapyy has been put to bed and Talia speaks with the Levitating extreme coach, who helped her get Kapyy home.

Here was the original pose i was going for, i just didn’t like how it was looking. I took multiple reference photos for the pose but i eventually went with the pose in the final version above. I have more work in progress pics that are kinda funny, one being when i was blocking in the hair with the colourfill tool, it also went to his face and he looked like Garfield.

#just dance #just dance fanart #fanart #just dance kapyy #digital art #headcanon #my thoughts #just dance 2024 #sorry if i draw him a lot #sorry if i talk a lot

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izukuthebunny · 2 months ago

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(OOC) Please read before interacting!

Have you ever wanted to interact with Izuku "Deku" Midoriya? Ever wanted to get advice or comfort from him? This blog is for you! I have been roleplaying as Izuku and writing Izuku fics for years, and am VERY dedicated to not breaking character!

Please read this entire post before sending any asks or dms! Thank you! I'll keep this post updated if anything changes, and I'll keep a note here when it was last updated: Last Updated 9/30 Some links were added!

This is an in character blog, and it's not a proper roleplay blog, meaning I'll answer any ask you send in character, as if you're speaking to Izuku Midoriya himself.

I do NOT answer roleplay asks, either in script style, or otherwise, so basically, that includes paragraph starters, and things like actions in asterisks! They'll be deleted immediately, sorry!! I DO have proper roleplay accounts, but I don't share them publicly anymore! This blog is separate from that entirely, so this blog doesn't roleplay! PLEASE REMEMBER THIS! Thank you!

The timeline that this blog takes place is fluid on purpose, it depends on who I'm interacting with, and what they need to help pick them up! So, sometimes, Izuku will be a student at UA, and other times, he'll be a pro hero! It really depends on what you, as the person he's speaking to, need or want from him!

This blog is meant mostly to spread positivity for people who look up to Izuku, or find comfort in him. You can always interact with him directly if you need him, and you can ask him for advice. I will never decline in character asks, if your oc or self insert needs some in-universe guidance, but this blog is aimed towards real people who need help, and would like to receive it from Izuku!

He'll also occasionally pop up into the replies of people who might need him, if you'd like him to NOT pop up in your replies, shoot this blog a DM asking politely for me to not leave in character replies on your posts! I promise I don't bite!

9/30 - If you want Izuku to show up in your reblogs/replies, please interact with this post!

As this blog begins, I'm mostly focusing on mutuals and people I've interacted positively with in the past, but I'd love to branch that out more as people become more familiar with this blog

However, if all that's a bit too much for you, I don't mind if you block this blog! Whatever's easiest for you!

I ask that you please, please, PLEASE do not send anything sexual or extremely violent to this blog, a real person runs this blog at the end of the day! Whatever you wouldn't say to a real person, you shouldn't say to Deku! As of 9/29 Mutuals/friends can send some sexual stuff, as a treat! All sexual content will be tagged "Playbunny" please blacklist this tag if you're under 18 or do not want to see sexual content! Any sexual content Izuku is 25 his current canon age, so he's a teacher and pro hero!

THAT BEING SAID. I'm alright with somewhat heavier topics when you're asking for advice from Izuku, but on the topic of things like SA, please keep specifics to a minimal, thank you! Izuku's happy to help you, and to be a listening ear for you, and to provide a bit of comforting words, but please don't give me, or him, extreme details on triggering topics! A few details here and there are okay, just please don't give me a step by step breakdown on it!

Also, please do not try to hold conversations with Izuku on other people's posts, it's not polite to blow up someone's notifications like that! Izuku reblogging a post is not an invitation to talk to him in the reblogs or replies of the post! You're welcome to talk to him on his own posts, or even your own posts if you tag him, or he's already in your replies! Thank you!

I trigger tag all triggering content to the best of my ability! If I miss a tag, please tell me! I want this blog to be a safe space for people to vent and find comfort in a character they love!

Also, I may occasionally post original photos that are in character, these are to add flavor to this blog and give it a bigger sense of being "alive" so to speak! So, things like photos of official merch I own that I think Izuku would also own, photos taken out and about that I think Izuku would've taken, things like that!

Also, as a note, no ships are canon for this blog, so Izuku isn't in any relationships, and I don't mind a little bit of playful flirting with him if that's what you want to do! Just keep in mind it might go right over his head, or he might be too flustered to think straight! I intend on keeping him single, and he won't have any explicitly canon crushes on his classmates.

However I may occasionally imply crushes on a handful of his classmates (if a student in the current time of post)/coworkers (if a pro hero in the current time of post) for a funny bit, it should never be considered serious! Characters will include Katsuki, Ochaco, Eijiro, Shouto, Tenya, and a few others! I just think Izuku is the type of person to confuse strong platonic feels for romantic! This is again to add a bit of life to the blog!

One last thing, this blog is a sideblog, NORMALLY I'd make these kinda of blogs their own accounts, but I wanted this to be a blog I check more regularly, in case someone needs Izuku for something, so it's a sideblog on my mainblog I use daily and am on almost all day! As a result, I do not follow from this blog! And I would like to keep my mainblog a secret! Thank you for understanding!

Also! This blog is run by a gay trans man, and, as a result, transphobes and homophobes (and tbh anything similar) will be blocked! Izuku doesn't tolerate bigotry!

#out of character #izuku midoriya #izuku midoriya blog #idk what else to tag!! whoopsies #bnha #deku #izuku Midoriya roleplay #bnha roleplay blog #roleplay blog #deku roleplay blog

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moonsunlovers · 1 year ago

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Hi ! I read your blog and really admire your observation skills. I want to bring your attention to some things I personally observed

1) During JK's live where he listened to letter. So he was playing songs from YT, right? And he searched up "지민"(Jimin) in the searchbar and scrolled down on recommended searches ("Jimin- jaman- jimin") till he found " 지민 pyeonji" or " 지민 편지" which weverse translated to dear.ARMY. Now if you search "지민 편지" on YT, the 3rd video that pops up is the FMV made by elisssa which is a beautiful Jikook compilation with thumbnail of Jimin piggybacking on Jungkook after a show. When he scrolled down, he saw the thumbnail and smiled at 0:10. (https://youtu.be/OM2EH_VKxW4?si=_mbBZqLzVxdztL7Z). I am absolutely sure this was the reason for his smile. Finally, the video he ended up playing was the lyric video that shows up 2nd for the search. He didn't play the Dear.army live clip as many claim. I know this because I pay attention to music and the one he listened to didn't have acoustic instrumentals like in the live clip. He reacted to the original song.

So my conclusions are:

Jungkook now knows that there are jikook FMV/compilations to letter with above 500k views. And his reaction was just a cute smile. Infact i have never seen jm and jk mind their ship or mentions of the ship.

He didn't play the live clip for whatever reason but maybe because it was too much for him to watch the live version? especially after crying about army's songs? He was in an emotional state after all.

Phew..

2) The JK bday post made by JM on Instagram. I'll just say it- Jimin's pants are sketched. Badly. With a phone editor. While JK's pants/trousers are clearly visible with cloth texture and everything, Jimin's are just plain dark , 2D, with a wobbly waistband. Lol. Even if you change image settings, nothing changes. As someone with decent amount of photo editing knowledge, i am 100% sure of this. Reminds me of the jkk selfie from that exhibition where Jimin's black shirt was clearly sketched. So what do we do with this info? Lol. Maybe jm was in underwear. Yes.

I will never say with 100% confidence that jikook are absolutely dating but their bond is definitely for the history books. Have a good day/night.

Hello dear. Thank you for passing by my blog leaving such an interesting ask and also the little compliment you made me, I appreciate it so much. I have been looking in detail at the things you’ve pointed out and my observations about them are the following:

1) The video search. I have to say that I’ve search “지민 편지” from different accounts and the video edit you said doesn’t appeared in the first ones. Maybe it’s because now there’re trendier ones but you have to scroll down to see that specific video. It’s possible that Jungkook saw it that day or maybe he saw something else that made him smile like that. Maybe he was just smiling at Jimin in the thumbnails of almost all of the videos or he was remembering a fond moment. Whatever it was I’m sure it was Jimin related and was a really sweet gesture. You can see the man melting looking at him in the screen.

About Jungkook having knowledge of this kind of content I think we can be sure that he knows about it pretty well. I mean he watched a video of bts teasing Jimin, is obvious that he has been watching compilations in YouTube and is almost impossible to not cross by to one of this type. The same goes in twitter, Instagram and tiktok. The boys must know everything we’re into as a fandom so I wouldn’t be surprise if they had searched for fanarts and other stuff before. Jimin and Jungkook don’t seem bothered by fans shipping them together in general, at least they haven’t expressed themselves like Tae has done with taekookers so probably they are okey with it. Although I have to say that I feel like Jimin is trying to keep it low this year and doesn’t want to talk about Jk that much and the things that they have going on for some reason. Maybe it’s because the military service is approaching, maybe is because of the breaking into his apartment and his private life… I can not tell the motives behind this decision but I think is pretty obvious that he has been protecting his private life with more tenacity than before, and that includes Jungkook, and that decision alone speaks volumes.

2) The birthday photo. I have to say that I didn’t notice this and is pretty interesting!! You have an amazing eye for the detail anon!!! I’m not sure if only the top part of the pants are drawn or the whole thing. Maybe he was trying to hide his underwear showing or he was plainly in something more compromising. Maybe we’ll see the behind the scenes of this photo in the program that Jikook has recorded, who knows. Whatever it is I’m sure Jimin is comfortable enough to be just in underwear in front of Jungkook, I mean, we know that he usually goes naked at home and this guys have been living together for half their lives. And if we want to be more delusional, we know that in their Tokio trip the bathroom of their room had a huge window. So, yeah, no privacy whatsoever for Jikook.

On the other hand, being more objective, what makes me think that maybe he was just on his swimming trunks and there’s no reason to panic is because obviously there was other people with them, somebody else took the photo for them so probably the staff was there too, I don’t think they would be in underwear or something “compromising” if other people were around.

Although my answer wasn’t maybe what you were waiting for Anon I hope you continue to send me this type of asks because I enjoy them so much. I love to look into the details and try to put everything coherently together. Jimin and Jungkook have an unique and wonderful bond in which we don’t need to exaggerate or create things in order to find something extraordinary between them.

See you next time!

#jikook #kookmin #mingukkie

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northwest-cryptid · 1 year ago

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I cannot express this clearly enough so let me say it as best I can...

The reason I don't go off about "AI is bad AI is scary!" is not because I condone the use of AI to steal people's art, writing, voice, or likeness; because I don't condone that at all. The reason you don't hear me go off about "AI is bad AI is scary!" is because AI isn't actually the problem here... The people who use AI for these things are the problem and I refuse to let them get away with their horrible shitty behavior by letting them scapegoat lines of code that we've literally had for decades but haven't been usable for the common individual due to a lack of understanding, an understanding that the common individual STILL lacks.

If you actually care to know my thoughts past that summary I got you fam. All that I ask of you is that you have the reading comprehension level to understand that I do not condone theft in any form, outside of shoplifting necessities from specifically large chains (do not steal from mom and pop shops or small chains like mall stores it impacts the workers on the lowest rungs of the ladder.)

I literally expressed to a good friend of mine not too long ago that I had used an AI to generate a reference image since I'm trying to get better at art. Without so much as any understanding of my process he began to shame me for it, which made it very hard to explain to him that I had actually trained the model in it's entirety myself; on my own art so that it would produce reference images closer to how I actually draw already and thus make it easier for me to understand how the drawing would look in my style. He then went off about how even if that were true, it wouldn't know what common things are, like how it knows what an owl looks like; to which I had to explain to him that stock photos exist and how I have literally done photography as a hobby for years so most of the images were literally my own photography (most of my family are artists whether that be photography, writing, music, or painting and I grew up in this environment) the only images used to train the AI that weren't literally created by my hand were legally owned stock photos that I used to help round it out a little since obviously I don't have great photos of everything ever that I might want to try my hand at drawing. This explanation literally took me hours, and the actual explanation would have taken me about 5 minutes but we couldn't get past "AI bad AI scary!" to get to "actually you can ethically train an AI to use art, photography, and images of your own creation and not have to steal anything from anyone; ever. All of the images, and art that are used by my AI are used with permission of their original creator, because I am that creator." The AI doesn't even run on the internet or connect to the internet, so it's not like it could pull results from some secret third party or website or something. It's just a huge help as someone who suffers from ADHD, I can't very easily keep an image in my mind and remember the finer details as I draw, and I am not a skilled enough artist yet to know how things should look in relation to other things just yet. However despite all of this I still have had a lot of people get upset with me simply for even USING an AI in the first place.

It's honestly as if people forget what "AI" really even is, it's code. That's it; that's the end all be all of it. Every video game under the sun that you love uses code, and I'm willing to bet good money it uses AI, it's own AI; because a lot of shit has for a long, LONG time. We're only seeing a problem with it now because it's finally being made open source, brought to the masses; and in those masses there will always be people who use it for the wrong reasons. I've been told that my thoughts on AI sound like some 2nd amendment right winger talking about guns and gun laws, which is honestly just annoying because I cannot in my right mind think of an ethical use case for a gun. The best case scenario with a gun is that it's a waste of money you never have to use. However when you break down what AI really is, it's just a bunch of code that can use the knowledge given to it (by a human being) to discern patterns and calculate what mathematically should happen next based on the parameters and then do that thing. There are so many use cases for that, everything from simply trying to calculate a minecraft seed to stuff as complex as surgery (although I would probably still feel more comfortable with human surgery lol)

The only difference between AI and say a basic start up sequence for a computer is that a sequence like that is pre-written by the programmer, it's a line of commands the computer will just follow; while AI has a line of commands that tells it to basically write it's own code and execute it based on the commands that give it "knowledge" of how to do everything. There's no "thinking" there's no "consciousness" it's all calculation and mathematics; which some may equate to consciousness and thinking; but like at that point I think you're just getting into the weeds about it.

What I'm trying to say with all of this is simple though, the tl;dr is this:

That age old saying of "a computer should never be put in a position of power because a computer cannot be held accountable for it's actions" is how I feel about AI, people want to point the finger at AI saying that it stole someone's art or voice or something; and no it didn't AI didn't do that A PERSON DID, BLAME THE PERSON; DO NOT LET THE INDIVIDUAL GET AWAY WITH USING A TOOL TO MAKE THEIR THEFT EASIER, THE PERSON IS STILL THE ONE AT FAULT.

Ai has no conscious thought, it cannot do anything it is not explicitly told to. If I go out and use an AI to generate art or to steal someone's style, that's on ME not the AI; the AI is just a tool, I could have just as easily gone about it some other way. I view AI as a sort of accessibility tool, it makes a lot of lives easier it can make everything from hobbies to jobs easier WITH PROPER USE, but the lazy idiotic assholes who don't bother with proper use and wish to abuse it should be the ones being held accountable. If a studio uses an AI to steal someone's voice and likeness then blame the studio for misuse of their tools!

If I run over 20 people with my car, the car is not at fault; I am. Rightfully so! If I generate 20 images that uses art from various photographers or drawings from artists without their permission or knowledge well, I guess the AI did it; can't blame me right? When people aren't held accountable, they'll just go do it again.

#long post sorry #do not come after me about this I swear to god

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misscammiedawn · 1 year ago

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About a year ago someone asked what things you wanted to do with hypnosis and hadn't had a chance to.

A year on, has this list changed? How?

Thank you so much, my dear. I would be happy to answer this question...

Thanks to my wonderful tagging system I was able to find the original post here. Feel free to reference what we had discussed as fantasies back then. I'll go through each listed fantasy and how it had been filled in the past 52 weeks.

I'll begin working on a new list of things to suggest in the meanwhile as I'm sure such a checklist begs to be met and matched with a new one.

So let us break down the suggestions listed in that post and how they have changed in the past year...

Fountain Scene - Wishing to recreate the intimacy of the Stardazer Comic (or Imaginatrix tweet that inspired it) by being publicly tranced in a moment of private connection with a wonderful partner, the sounds of the world fading away as the universe becomes entirely about the emotional entanglement between hypnotist and hypnotee.

(photo edited for privacy)

It was enjoyed deeply.

Written in our journal regarding the event:

Cammie was plucked up on her Miss’ lap and was given a choice between two headphones. One with more comfort and one with better sound quality. She wanted comfort. I suppose given she was longing for trance more than audio bliss this was a good decision. Though I tend to be an audiophile…

Daja had a splitter and must have done an adapter too as her phone was brand new [...] because the brand new phone with its beautiful lavender pop-socket was going to play not a spiral… no.

The Rhythm Method (1997) recorded live in Toronto.

We picked it out ourselves. Albeit as with the spiral galaxy shawl we did not realize what we were agreeing to. Daja is a sneaky tricky trickster.

We had experimented with a scene like this in the past and so it was that for every single time Neil Peart’s sticks hit a drum I’d go deeper and deeper. Every smack just drumming me into hypnotic furvor.

I remember when she did the Susan Snap to have me absorb the command (I got the memory back) I was starring empty and blank through glassy eyes at a set of kids, completely disconnected and absorbing Miss’ words.

Susan Snap time is so lovely… when I remember it later it’s like a complete mindlessly blank trance. I don’t quite remember what happens during those windows but like the fact that there were kids was like “oh wow, I was completely out of it” I guess?

But then headphones in and cheers start and I recognize the audio right away and it’s like !!!

I HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED AGAI–n…

And I just sunk against her. I felt her monitoring me. Keeping me safe. Making sure my arm was in the right place. Telling me to keep my neck comfortable. I starred blankly at the screen and the Stardazer comic was in my mind. I could hear the gushing of the fountain and the ambiance of the world and felt the lazy sun setting above a hill and all was soothing and…

Oh how deep I went.

How lovely it felt.

Melted into Miss. Drifted away. Absolutely and utterly nestled in trust and safety.

She took a photograph of it at the end and I’ll treasure it forever and ever and ever.

So lucky. So grateful. So happy.

So in summary, that was very much checked from the checklist. Thank you, beloved.

Flight Trance: Ah, another one checked from the hypno-bucket list...

From my Charmed 2023 journal:

As I type we are an hour in to flight.

On the runway, Dolly told me that she adored take off. The feeling of weightlessness that washes over her. She was happy to share this treasured moment with me and something in her tone invited mischief. I checked if such things were Green… Dolly emphatically insisted they were.

I took the opportunity to slide into my Toppy headspace, transforming into the indomnitable and dominant Miss Dawn. Flooded with my hypnotic presence and with her permission, I began to brainwash her while in taxi. Pulling her down and down but never given permission to *sleep*, oh no, not yet. No that would have to wait. She would not be denied the bliss of soaring, of falling in to the sky. No matter how much she wanted to she was forbidden from sinking until I gave her permission to do so.

The icing and the taxi must have taken an eternity as I ran my nails up and down her arm, tracing gentle spirals and whispering through my mask. No one else could hear us. There was no one sitting in *any* of the seats surrounding. She was in my private embrace, trapped within my words and the spell I cast upon her namesake, her Sleepy Head.

As the plane took off I tugged her arm and hissed a command for her to finally let go. I lapsed into a possessive speech. How weightlessness had claimed her, how her willpower in remaining awake is turned now to draw her deeper, that she need not fight any longer, that she was free to *obey*.

And obey she did, lovely Dolly. I lulled her and lay her against my shoulder. I asked her, while hypnotized, to tell me what she would want from the trolly when the attendants came by. I *enjoyed* ordering for her. Treating her as the pretty little prize that she felt to me in that moment.

I found a Spotify channel called Deep Focus and placed a headphone in. Let her drift until the cart service arrived. A good 40 odd minutes of brainwashing to kick off Charmed! A beautiful start to what promises to be a lovely weekend.

As I sipped my coffee and let Sleepyhead enjoy the refreshments I ordered, free from surrounding passengers to play anxiety upon our minds, I eased in and felt proud of my accomplishment. Then took the time to write this journal. As I finish this segment she has lazed back onto my shoulder, the music I selected for her lulling in her ears.

She is such a good Dolly.

I had not intended to keep her down the whole flight. My will was to have her awake after the cart. A fair divider for our trip, but she is *insatiable*. I am forced to reward her tenacity with hypnotic reverie. What else is a caring partner to do?

The announcement pinged that there were 13 minutes left and we were coming in to land. Sleepyhead awoke, surprised at how quickly the flight had “flown” by (it’s a pun!!) and quickly looked to me with serious eyes. “You’re not the only hypnotist on this flight.” she boldly proclaimed. The ambush predator was out for play.

She swiftly dropped me in such a manner that I cannot recall how it happened. The plane wobbled and bobbed with mild turbulence, rocking me in to sleep.

“I remember you said you had a fantasy of being hypnotized on a flight.” she teased, as I dropped. Deeper and deeper with every second. All Dawn energy faded as somft pretty Cammie submitted to her wonderful girlfriend.

She began to count the flight descent. 35 thousand… down and down… closer to the ground, down down…

It is a good thing I love heights and she knew it, that would have freaked a few peoples I know out. It did not freak me out. It lulled me. I was… so calm. So content.

So happy…

We landed and she brought me back. We hugged. I love her so so much!

I made a silly joke about the plane taxiing so fast that I could hear The Offspring.

Then I wrote this while waiting to disembark!

!!!!!

Amnesia shenanigans!

Miss Daja and Sleepyhead teamed up to make that scene happen! They knew it was my fantasy and that I wanted it oh so much! Sleepy did such a good job and Daja wiped me so clean that I had forgotten how excited I was for the idea jdbskgxjd

Wanna hug her so so much!

I am overjoyed! What a way to start Charmed.

Stage Show Assistant Fantasy: This one has been teased at, especially with amnesia shenanigans to ensure my darling lass was dressed the way I wished her to be dressed for my 2023 Presence class (the encore is currently scheduled for Charmed 2024 on Friday at 2pm EST) and this did touch upon some of the fantasy, but as far as I presently recall there have not been moments where Cammie has been plucked from an audience and turned into The Sensational Sunrise for an audience and performer to enjoy.

Given how elaborate the first two stories turned out to be, I suppose I had better draft out something for my lass to do when she assists me again.

Dinner Date with Goddess: COVID persists. This has yet to be accomplished. Though if you read the flight story above, I suppose I did serve that role for Dolly on the flight.

Vampire scene: The vampire ball at Charmed 2023 was such an involved and lengthy scene that I cannot share the journal entry as it would be the length of a full story. Suffice to say Cammie was enthralled (with Goddess' permission) for an entire evening, was used as an example for another vassal and got to mingle in right on the line between reality and fantasy without slipping into LARP space.

Plus it was all while wearing this:

Fae Contracts: Fae Play has been performed as part of my standard routine but never to my full satisfaction. I suppose that is a theme at play in these check-ins. When I am the one orchestrating the schemes I never feel satiated. I wish to tool and tweak and refine. I wish for it to become perfect...

The best example I can think of is the "3 times you must offer it to me" moment I had. That played into the Fae Contract fantasy quite well in my mind.

From my exhaustive journals:

Blue Fire. The gift of perfect obedience. A trigger I had worked with in our last meeting, based on a story from the Tammy Pierce books Daja and I each love. A finger to the firehead. A magical blue fire. Then the enchanted individual would awaken having completed a single command. Whether it be as simple as climb down a tower or something unthinkable.

We had placed the magical blue fire which could melt her mind away inside a blue bottle, a reference in itself to Ocarina of Time.

We had agreed to unbottle the fire and return it on the night of the Soiree and use it to get Daja all nice and dressed up for the event while I offered her “my heart”, knowing she would return it in time. Theoretically it could be used in mingle with another scene we had that weekend, though.

Daja wanted to break street date and get to enjoy the blue flame for the entire weekend. I told her I was willing to go ahead and do that for her, but only if she was certain she wanted it.

Now, Miss Dawn is a Fae. This has been true since the days she was simply an expression of gender euphoria in tabletop scenes and LARP. She was not going to accept a simple “I’m sure” as a method of consent.

“Please, Miss Dawn. Uncork the bottle.”

You must say it of your own volition three times. Uncoerced and unbound by a fractionated mind. Say it three times and I shall uncork the bottle and unleash the spell which effortlessly bewitches your mind and engulfs you in the flame of Pure Obedience. Knowing that once that spell takes hold and melts your mind away there will not be a single thing you will not do for me when I command you under its enchantment.

“Please, Miss Dawn. Uncork the bottle.”

I lowered myself and took her arm and kissed her fiercely. Looked her in the eyes and held her gaze. I reminded her that she would act without any memory of her actions, that she would be giving me complete control of her and doing so without a long thought was simply unwise.

“Please, Miss Dawn. Uncork the bottle.”

Utilizing a previously installed trigger I commanded her to kiss me and enjoyed the moment. My fingers laced around the bottle. If she were to ask me one more time then I would be bound by my Fae Contract to comply and control her.

Was this really? Truly? Deeply desired?

“Please, Miss Dawn…”

I gave her hair a tug and looked her in the eyes.

“Please uncork the bottle.”

As you wish, my love.

What else could a Fae say when bound by a contract? I followed the pre-negotiated scene, which had some lovely amnesia laden suggestions hidden within. Because I am a tricky Fae and if the airplane ride and the MMM scene had not already proven, Daja and I studied for this test and had written a dissertation on how to make these scenes work.

I am also editorializing a little bit because I have a broken brain that doesn’t remember things and imagines things between the gaps.

“Hand me the bottle, my dear.”

And that is it for the fantasies I listed on November 26th 2022.

Which means we need some new fantasies to treat like a checklist, I suppose?

But this post is running long. Anon, my sweet, be so kind as to send me another ask requesting my new list of unfulfilled fantasies. I shall work hard to fill the list with wonders and delights that shall become as fond as these memories are to us.

#dawn asks #hypno asks #hypnokink #scene stories #daja <3 #sleepyhead <3

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veryflirtytransportalate · 8 months ago

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< Previous > . . . < Next >

"Fortunate is he whose mind has the power to probe the causes of things and trample underfoot all terrors and inexorable fate." - Virgil... I'm told

I shrugged through the opening fields and ruins of the Glowing Sea! It was... pretty fine! I sometimes forget how utterly invincible I am with the power armor, but I also suited up a couple of people in hazmat suits to come with me and stocked up on RadAway and Rad-X. It was fun, actually - we got attacked by some weird rats that I didn't want to hurt but had to, then some feral ghouls which the entire Commonwealth community seems to deem a free space to go wild with the murder so woopie to that, and then we got to a crater full of those absolute weirdos in that cult. No, not the Brotherhood, and no, not the Enclave, and no, not the Institute, but the Adam ones. I at one point became violently ill after I spaced out standing and talking to one of them and didn't realize that my power armor wasn't doing a very good job dealing with the rads - next thing I know I'm on the floor, hyperventilating. It happens! You know how there's a culture of people stabbing each other with the Stims? I think... I think Dogmeat stabbed me to life.

Overall great trip. Terrible that this whole place is a noxious wasteland that tears through metal and PVC alike - if only some group of people with a massive collection of pre and post war technologies could come in and do some ecological work here. You know, how back in the day human beings would clean up the results of radioactive disasters? How that existed? Just spitballing here. Would be of tremendous material and political value and would profit the perpetrator massively, especially if the work force is rad resistant. Might be a good use for... maybe an endless supply of synthetic human beings or something but again just spitballing here.

(More ramblings and a picture below the cut.)

< Previous > . . . < Next >

youtube

No extra pics from this photo set, actually! Usually one or two get relegated to the below the cut spot, but not today! So here's Sizz'el in a nice green dress.

The Glowing Sea was new for me! Never went before, not even once. I don't know if it's obvious from my descriptions but I kind of hate Fallout 4 - I have a very grognard-esque old school centric view of the Fallout series, but I'm also open to the idea that Fallout 4, when you wash off the blood and sweat of the crunchatized developers, executes on the mechanical experience of the Fallout games with aplomb. Someone I listened to said there are no games that are Fallout-likes, and play like the original Fallout. I think FO4, mechanically, is exactly a FO2-like, but I don't have the space to argue that here.

Anyway, Glow-C. It was an interesting outdoor dungeon design. I only did the first leg of it, out to the Crater of Atom, but I thought it was a well considered experience: players explore the first part of the Sea and perhaps realize that the biome is dangerous enough that they're going to have to come up with a plan of attack. If they push hard enough out of spite, they have a halfway-ish, one third-ish checkpoint to stop at with the crater. There, they can learn where Virgil is more specifically, fast travel out to Sanctuary, and reconsider their options. Dump junk, repair armor, etc., and enter the truly grueling part of the dungeon fully prepared.

I did actually die a couple times because of the radiation at the crater: I (surprise) downloaded a mod to increase the radioactivity of the entire Glowing Sea by... 5x? 3x? Can't remember. I think it's this mod by CrimsonKnight77 (opens in new tab) but that only affects storms. I'll come back to this. Or not. It's a game.

Anyway I was standing talking to who's-her-face who tells you Virgil's exactly GPS coordinates, got up to get a snack. I come back to find everything rewound to the beginning of the conversation and a pop-up. Why did I load? What? I hit the pop-up. I talk to the lady. I'm thinking how to respond. Suddenly, dead. Power armor just flumps to the floor. I load. I'm looking around. I see the rads. I get it.

So yeah, that got me not once, but twice. Sneaky. Gonna be a pain if I ever go out to Lost Lookout or Lookout Point or whatever the DLC is called.

< Previous > . . . < Next >

#fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #fallout mods #reshade #fallout original character #screen archery #the glowing sea #Youtube

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redr0sewrites · 3 months ago

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ok heres a very very very detailed analysis on all of my character design choices i made on my human bill design for no reason except i sent this to my friend and she encouraged me to post it sooooo.... here we go

ok so this photo implies that either A) bill wears really long gloves and boots all the time B) his arms and legs changed color as he grew C) they changed color when he destroyed his dimension and accidentally gained cosmic power. i thought it would be cool to implement this fact by giving his human design vitiligo to show the fact that his skin is literally two different colors (i personally think the theory is B cuz when ford blew that hole into his hat (which is also black) it was a part of him wnd therefore skin so i think his skin just changed over time). i also added in the vitiligo on his face to represent the brick pattern thats seen on him. idk i genuinely felt like he should have some sort of face markings to represent that. i also wanted to make him verryyyy gender non comforming. in the book of bill it states that his gender is quite literally triangle, so i feel like he wouldn't really fall into the same gender norms as humans and would end up looking very androgynous simply bc he would not care about looking masculine or feminine and you cant misgender him anyway bc his gender is incomprehendable. i also didnt want to give him a lot of eurocentric features cuz ive seen so many human bill designs that are kinda copy n paste white twink and while it is a good design i wanted him to be more "him" or what he would like. i felt like giving him a sharper nose and jawline would help attribute to his character and also to the sharp angles of his triangular form. i genuinely just wanted him to look beautiful, but not in an average every day person conventional way, moreso in an ancient deity, model, once in a lifetime person type of way. i wanted him to look beautiful in the intimidating way not the cute way. the hair was honestly just for sillies and their wasn't a LOT of thought behind it- again, i went with the adrogynous themes and gave him sort of a scaramouche bowl cut mullet but a little more wolf cut-y. yellow is obviously his color, but since black is also so prevalent in his character design i wanted to keep that theme going and make his roots + the bottom black. the roots symbolize his hat, while the bottom symbolizes his arms and legs. finally, the blue streak was kind of me wanting to incorporate his powers into his character design, and i thought it would be cool if the blue part of his hair glowed when he used his powers too. also his eyes are blue for similar reasons, and also because his eyes turned blue when he offered a deal to gideon(? or someone else can't remember). the entire theory behind his color scheme is obviously sticking to his original one, but also incorporating more blues to clash with the yellows because he's a very conflicted character. he so desperately wants to come off as like this emotionless and chaotic entity when in reality he has weaknesses and feelings and regrets, and his biggest flaw is his own simultaneous ego and insecurity. on this is not a website dotcom (i think, im like 99% sure i saw a ss of this) his listed weakness is himself, along with his favorite thing being himself, which kind of conveys what i was trying to convey with his colors. i felt like a lot of clashing would fit his character and make him sort of "pop" if that makes sense. blue snd yellow are stark opposites the same way his personality is very oppositional to himself and it just felt right. i also included the scar he gained when stan beat him in his mind, and i made that a darker blue not to represent his powers, but to represent his loss and also to be a contrast to the orange i used to shade (the bright blue contrasts the yellow, the dark blue contrasts the orange) to kind of show his weird angstyness afte his loss and sooort of death. i didn't want the scar to be as bright bc obviously its not a source of his power or connected to that in any way, but it still serves as a permanent reminder. i ALSO stopped the outer lineart at his scar to make it look like he was "shattered," to show his crumbling and cracked mental state within the theraprism

some bill/billford sketches from when i was on the plane yesterday (including my human!bill design :)

tumblr butchered the quality :/

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l-asin · 4 years ago

Photo

Booker, lonely... need love....

#the old guard #booker #sebastian le livre #i remembered an original photo and someone was popped up in my mind #so i had to draw...sorry book

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daydreamingleclerc · 3 years ago

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instagram files | a year in the life

are we calling this my hiatus comeback? idk but i’m back i guess

this is different but kinda fun i think! i saw someone do it under the tom holland tag AGES ago but i can’t remember who they were so this is not an original idea on my behalf 💓💞💕💗 if you liked it please let me know and i will do more because tumblr has a ten image limit and these let me live out a fantasy ❤️

*pictures are NOT mine. credit to the original owners. all photos were found on pinterest/google images and instagram. i do not own any of this content.

***

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january 1st, 2021

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chelseafc looking good, mase!

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chunkz captions a bit bold for a sunday night

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january 10th, 2021

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yungchalobah bro, you’re punching so hard

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february 2nd, 2021

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february 17th, 2021

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liked by declanrice, jesselingard and others

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february 18th, 2021

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february 27th, 2021

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march 5th, 2021

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snifflesthemouse · 3 years ago

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Hello, to all you beautiful people! I sincerely hope this post finds you all happy, healthy, and blessed! I’ve got a little bit of time while riding in the car, so I decided to write this post.

I’ve mentioned before that I have my own theories, more so opinions, regarding the Duchess of Sussex and her father, Thomas Markle, Sr. (TM). While many empathize with TM, I’ve found myself questioning whether I’m in that category.

On the one hand, I do empathize with TM. When I look at TM, I see a parent who’s broken and misunderstood. A parent, whose only crime was loving their child too much. A parent, who’s not only getting up in age but also in a state of declining health. A person filled with regrets of what could’ve been, living with the constant fear the end will come sooner than any type of reconciliation will. I see my mother.

On the other hand, when I look at TM, I see someone completely different. I see a jack of all trades who knows how to make something special out of nothing special at all. I see a parent who taught their child all of their tricks, both directly and indirectly. A parent who gave all they could to their child, hoping to give them a life better than the life they were given. A parent who knew, that by investing in their child, they would later reap a bountiful yield from said investments. A person who knows how to charm and manipulate people into qui bono transactions, regardless of family or friendship. Someone who knows how to survive despite circumstances, even if that means burning the people that helped you up. I see my mother.

And while seeing my deceased mother’s characteristics in TM absolutely influences my stance regarding MM and TM, it is not the main reasons behind my suspicion of their relationship. No, those reasons come directly from the horses' mouths.

The truth is, I believe that MM and TM are not only cut from the same cloth, but they are also covertly operating in tandem with one another. Some areas of my belief need reconciled, and my thoughts on this are only opinions. But, when I consider what I know from what they’ve both said, and I consider that all with my own life experiences, it makes more sense that they’re working together. And that is why I struggle to truly empathize with TM. Let me explain.

First off, it’s important for you to keep in mind, that right around the same time MM was fostering her relationship with Prince Harry, MM had already employed PR tactics to “clean up her image". Remember that; remember there were professional image consultants being paid to manage MM's press coverage leading up to her wedding.

Also remember that, up until the Daily Mail busted TM out for staging the paparazzi shots, MM's official stance regarding TM as a father was overwhelmingly positive. Her Tig blog reinforces that MM not only loved her father, but she also credited him for many of her catchphrase concepts.

The Tig was MM's first real shot at establishing herself as a brand. The Tig was her baby, her brainchild backup plan for when her Suits career ended. In that space, she took every opportunity appropriate to praise her father. After all, he was the man behind “create your own box" and “bring your own table". He was the force behind “a face without freckles is like a night without stars.” Remember?

It speaks volumes that MM sang the praises of her wise and wonderful, yet tastefully progressive, father on The Tig. It says that Meghan originally planned for her father to be part of her “Meghan Markle of The Tig" brand and image. When you also consider that nobody from the PR teams did anything to cultivate or protect that image of a doting dad, it suggests MM decided her father needed a minimal role in her new era as “Meghan, The Duchess”.

Then came the paparazzi photos and the Daily Mail article busting old pops out. Whether MM had a hand in turning on the Photog to Samantha and TM, or whether TM got tired of not getting the right image in the press and acted independently, I am unsure. But, the letters between them make me think that this is all a ruse.

We all know that the People Magazine article was really a push from MM to TM to release the letter she so meticulously prepared. I mean come on now. We’ve all seen the released court documents by now. The emails between Jason Knauf and MM reveal just how meticulous MM was with writing a letter that otherwise should’ve been a personal correspondence never seen by public eyes. The level of energy and planning put into that letter tells me that it was always meant to be public. But why?

Many say it’s MM's way of justifying her ghosting behavior. MM says (in her emails to Knauf) that the letter was her way of making it look like she tried to stop her father’s “attacks on the Royal Family”. She said she couldn’t stand to see the pain her father was causing “H". That letter was her way of taking the pressure from “his family” off of her beloved. For me, though, I see a strategic move in a long con.

Let me break it down, step by step, to explain why I see a long con.

First, MM praises TM on The Tig. She sets him up as a vital contributor to who she is as a woman. Then, the DM dropped the news of the paparazzi setup involving TM. We hear conflicting info regarding communications between TM and MM and PH. But that’s not as important. What matters is TM was “cut off" from his daughter after his heart attack right before the wedding.

Now, if I’m MM, and I know that I’m not really feeling the BRF life, I’m going to be doing anything I can to cement my status and wealth. Especially the wealth. And we know that’s what she did, too. Because she already had open conversations with Oprah and Elton John’s husband about deals for content.

If I were her, I’d know what big ticket items would make the most money. I’d know what would be needed to build up hype or public interest surrounding those big ticket items, too. The first post-megxit interview. The first official introduction of the children. The major milestones linked to the BRF that could be milked to remind the world why they’re in our faces. But… one specific event would really be a cash cow.

Reunions and reconciliation interviews always captivate the masses. Especially in the US. What better way than to create an entire nexus of cash grabbing potential by fueling a rift between the besotted princess who didn’t belong and the very man who gave her that charm, her own father?

So, when MM was sitting in her Royal residence plotting her “Exit Stage Left", it would’ve been common sense to see the potential in a feud with “Daddy". Nobody in the 21st century uses written letters to argue long distance. The letters were the vehicle to make the feud real, and it became the vehicle to keeping the feud relevant.

I wholeheartedly believe the People Magazine article was a signal to TM from MM. I believe that article signaled TM because it was the first time the letter was ever made public. I believe she knew she could sue for privacy before she ever wrote the words. And I believe the intention was to create this rift narrative that could be used to cash in on the press while keeping relevant in the press.

Every time her father comes out to speak out and beg forgiveness, it keeps her in the press, too. The lawsuit wasn’t expected to go this way, but either way, it keeps them in the press. Every interview from TM reminds us all of MM and her ties to the BRF. It builds this animosity and creates this ongoing saga of drama that the media thrives from. While all this pressure and friction builds, so does their relevance and fame. Eventually, the time will come when the picking is ripe, and that plot line of Markle V Markle will climax.

That climax will play out in the press. I can’t even imagine the quotes for compensation for when that time comes. The Royal Reconciliation interviews could bank millions upon millions. Billions if they reveal the children at the Royal Reconciliation. Could you imagine the Prime Time Ratings the night the Royal Reconciliation airs?

I can hear the voice over now…

“For the last several years, the world has been taken on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. From broken hearts and betrayal to health scares and death threats, the world has watched the drama between Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex and her estranged father, Thomas Markle, Sr. play out in the media. No hope of reconciliation has ever been seen.

Until tonight...

Tune into the CBS Special this Sunday night, when Gayle King sits down with Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex and her father for the FIRST TIME since his daughter married a British Prince and second son of Diana. PRINCESS OF WALES.

But wait… you won’t believe it!

For the first time ever, the world will meet both Archie and Lili… at THE SAME TIME as Thomas Markle, SR. You don’t want to miss this historic moment!”

Then a few weeks later, Netflix will announce a show called “Royally Grandpa" where TM and MM star in a reality show or mini series showing their “journey as a family after reuniting”. I’d almost bet on it.

When TM replied to MM, he said in his letter that they should just suck it up and pose for a photo to quash the rift rumors. He told her that even if they have to fake it, they should come and do a press release together. He was giving her an out. Instead of taking the route literally everyone advised her to take, she chose her own path.

Now why would literally everyone but MM think that the best, most efficient way to quash the Markle Wedding drama was a reunion? The Knauf emails show that PC and the BRF were pressuring MM and PH to go see TM and put to rest the drama. But she chose to write that infamous letter. And even dear “Daddy" wrote back saying a get-together would be the best way to end the drama in the press.

But, no. Even when her own father told her exactly what he wanted to end the press coverage and interviews, she didn’t. Why? If she really wanted it all to stop as she claimed, why not do exactly what is needed to stop it? Why write a letter instead?

Because, ladies and gents, this was all a ruse to keep her relevant and eventually make her wealthy when it comes time. She knew what her father wanted, and the BRF told her what they wanted from her, too. Even with all that information, she still got it wrong and chose a letter.

A letter that could spin a lawsuit. A lawsuit that could reinforce the rift. A rift that could fuel the press and keep her in the news. News coverage that would keep her ex-royal life relevant, even remind people of her privilege and titles. Relevance and interest that could bank a multi million dollar deal for that special Royal Reconciliation.

So that’s what I think. Mainly because of their own words, but also because I see TM like I saw my mother. Manipulative people, you know, the people really good at conning, learn that behavior from someone when they’re children. Some are born naturals, but most of the time… the trait is a learned behavior. MM is who she is because of the parents she saw growing up. I know this personally.

Cons recognize cons. Just because one stops doing the bad things they used to do doesn’t mean they forget how bad things can be done by others. Like addiction, the behaviors don’t leave you when you are in recovery. Part of recovery is changing bad behaviors or learning how to use immortal traits for good causes. If you can use your skills to raise money for kids with cancer, do so safely. But even then that is risky behavior. Regardless, recognizing it when others pull the very cons you used to pull never stops.

I know who I am. I am not ashamed of my shortcomings. Secrets make us sick. Shame makes us sicker. Either way, I struggle with accepting TM and MM are really estranged. Doesn’t add up to me.

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path-of-my-childhood · 4 years ago

Text

Musicians On Musicians: Paul McCartney & Taylor Swift

By: Patrick Doyle for Rolling Stone Date: November 13th 2020

On songwriting secrets, making albums at home, and what they’ve learned during the pandemic.

Taylor Swift arrived early to Paul McCartney’s London office in October, “mask on, brimming with excitement.” “I mostly work from home these days,” she writes about that day, “and today feels like a rare school field trip that you actually want to go on.”

Swift showed up without a team, doing her own hair and makeup. In addition to being two of the most famous pop songwriters in the world, Swift and McCartney have spent the past year on similar journeys. McCartney, isolated at home in the U.K., recorded McCartney III. Like his first solo album, in 1970, he played nearly all of the instruments himself, resulting in some of his most wildly ambitious songs in a long time. Swift also took some new chances, writing over email with the National’s Aaron Dessner and recording the raw Folklore, which abandons arena pop entirely in favor of rich character songs. It’s the bestselling album of 2020.

Swift listened to McCartney III as she prepared for today’s conversation; McCartney delved into Folkore. Before the photo shoot, Swift caught up with his daughters Mary (who would be photographing them) and Stella (who designed Swift’s clothes; the two are close friends). “I’ve met Paul a few times, mostly onstage at parties, but we’ll get to that later,” Swift writes. “Soon he walks in with his wife, Nancy. They’re a sunny and playful pair, and I immediately feel like this will be a good day. During the shoot, Paul dances and takes almost none of it too seriously and sings along to Motown songs playing from the speakers. A few times Mary scolds, ‘Daaad, try to stand still!’ And it feels like a window into a pretty awesome family dynamic. We walk into his office for a chat, and after I make a nervous request, Paul is kind enough to handwrite my favorite lyric of his and sign it. He makes a joke about me selling it, and I laugh because it’s something I know I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. That’s around the time when we start talking about music.”

Taylor Swift: I think it’s important to note that if this year had gone the way that we thought it was going to go, you and I would have played Glastonbury this year, and instead, you and I both made albums in isolation.

Paul McCartney: Yeah!

Swift: And I remember thinking it would have been so much fun because the times that I’ve run into you, I correlate with being some of the most fun nights of my life. I was at a party with you, when everybody just started playing music. And it was Dave Grohl playing, and you...

McCartney: You were playing one of his songs, weren’t you?

Swift: Yes, I was playing his song called “Best of You,” but I was playing it on piano, and he didn’t recognize it until about halfway through. I just remember thinking, “Are you the catalyst for the most fun times ever?” Is it your willingness to get up and play music that makes everyone feel like this is a thing that can happen tonight?

McCartney: I mean, I think it’s a bit of everything, isn’t it? I’ll tell you who was very... Reese Witherspoon was like, “Are you going to sing?” I said “Oh, I don’t know.” She said, “You’ve got to, yeah!” She’s bossing me around. So I said, “Whoa,” so it’s a bit of that.

Swift: I love that person, because the party does not turn musical without that person.

McCartney: Yeah, that’s true.

Swift: If nobody says, “Can you guys play music?” we’re not going to invite ourselves up onstage at whatever living-room party it is.

McCartney: I seem to remember Woody Harrelson got on the piano, and he starts playing “Let It Be,” and I’m thinking, “I can do that better.” So I said, “Come on, move over, Woody.” So we’re both playing it. It was really nice... I love people like Dan Aykroyd, who’s just full of energy and he loves his music so much, but he’s not necessarily a musician, but he just wanders around the room, just saying, “You got to get up, got to get up, do some stuff.”

Swift: I listened to your new record. And I loved a lot of things about it, but it really did feel like kind of a flex to write, produce, and play every instrument on every track. To me, that’s like flexing a muscle and saying, “I can do all this on my own if I have to.”

McCartney: Well, I don’t think like that, I must admit. I just picked up some of these instruments over the years. We had a piano at home that my dad played, so I picked around on that. I wrote the melody to “When I’m 64” when I was, you know, a teenager.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: When the Beatles went to Hamburg, there were always drum kits knocking around, so when there was a quiet moment, I’d say, “Do you mind if I have a knock around?” So I was able to practice, you know, without practicing. That’s why I play right-handed. Guitar was just the first instrument I got. Guitar turned to bass; it also turned into ukulele, mandolin. Suddenly, it’s like, “Wow,” but it’s really only two or three instruments.

Swift: Well, I think that’s downplaying it a little bit. In my mind, it came with a visual of you being in the country, kind of absorbing the sort of do-it-yourself [quality] that has had to come with the quarantine and this pandemic. I found that I’ve adapted a do-it-yourself mentality to a lot of things in my career that I used to outsource. I’m just wondering what a day of recording in the pandemic looked like for you.

McCartney: Well, I’m very lucky because I have a studio that’s, like, 20 minutes away from where I live. We were in lockdown on a farm, a sheep farm with my daughter Mary and her four kids and her husband. So I had four of my grandkids, I had Mary, who’s a great cook, so I would just drive myself to the studio. And there were two other guys that could come in and we’d be very careful and distanced and everything: my engineer Steve, and then my equipment guy Keith. So the three of us made the record, and I just started off. I had to do a little bit of film music - I had to do an instrumental for a film thing - so I did that. And I just kept going, and that turned into the opening track on the album. I would just come in, say, “Oh, yeah, what are we gonna do?” [Then] have some sort of idea, and start doing it. Normally, I’d start with the instrument I wrote it on, either piano or guitar, and then probably add some drums and then a bit of bass till it started to sound like a record, and then just gradually layer it all up. It was fun.

Swift: That’s so cool.

McCartney: What about yours? You’re playing guitar and piano on yours.

Swift: Yeah, on some of it, but a lot of it was made with Aaron Dessner, who’s in a band called the National that I really love. And I had met him at a concert a year before, and I had a conversation with him, asking him how he writes. It’s my favorite thing to ask people who I’m a fan of. And he had an interesting answer. He said, “All the band members live in different parts of the world. So I make tracks. And I send them to our lead singer, Matt, and he writes the top line.” I just remember thinking, “That is really efficient.” And I kind of stored it in my brain as a future idea for a project. You know, how you have these ideas... “Maybe one day I’ll do this.” I always had in my head: “Maybe one day I’ll work with Aaron Dessner.”

So when lockdown happened, I was in L.A., and we kind of got stuck there. It’s not a terrible place to be stuck. We were there for four months maybe, and during that time, I sent an email to Aaron Dessner and I said, “Do you think you would want to work during this time? Because my brain is all scrambled, and I need to make something, even if we’re just kind of making songs that we don’t know what will happen...”

McCartney: Yeah, that was the thing. You could do stuff - you didn’t really worry it was going to turn into anything.

Swift: Yeah, and it turned out he had been writing instrumental tracks to keep from absolutely going crazy during the pandemic as well, so he sends me this file of probably 30 instrumentals, and the first one I opened ended up being a song called “Cardigan,” and it really happened rapid-fire like that. He’d send me a track; he’d make new tracks, add to the folder; I would write the entire top line for a song, and he wouldn’t know what the song would be about, what it was going to be called, where I was going to put the chorus. I had originally thought, “Maybe I’ll make an album in the next year, and put it out in January or something,” but it ended up being done and we put it out in July. And I just thought there are no rules anymore, because I used to put all these parameters on myself, like, “How will this song sound in a stadium? How will this song sound on radio?” If you take away all the parameters, what do you make? And I guess the answer is Folklore.

McCartney: And it’s more music for yourself than music that’s got to go do a job. My thing was similar to that: After having done this little bit of film music, I had a lot of stuff that I had been working on, but I’d said, “I’m just going home now,” and it’d be left half-finished. So I just started saying, “Well, what about that? I never finished that.” So we’d pull it out, and we said, “Oh, well, this could be good.” And because it didn’t have to amount to anything, I would say, “Ah, I really want to do tape loops. I don’t care if they fit on this song, I just want to do some.” So I go and make some tape loops, and put them in the song, just really trying to do stuff that I fancy.

I had no idea it would end up as an album; I may have been a bit less indulgent, but if a track was eight minutes long, to tell you the truth, what I thought was, “I’ll be taking it home tonight, Mary will be cooking, the grandkids will all be there running around, and someone, maybe Simon, Mary’s husband, is going to say, ‘What did you do today?’ And I’m going to go, ‘Oh,’ and then get my phone and play it for them.” So this became the ritual.

Swift: That’s the coziest thing I’ve ever heard.

McCartney: Well, it’s like eight minutes long, and I said, “I hate it when I’m playing someone something and it finishes after three minutes.” I kind of like that it just [continues] on.

Swift: You want to stay in the zone.

McCartney: It just keeps going on. I would just come home, “Well, what did you do today?” “Oh, well, I did this. I’m halfway through this,” or, “We finished this.”

Swift: I was wondering about the numerology element to McCartney III. McCartney I, II, and III have all come out on years with zeroes.

McCartney: Ends of decades.

Swift: Was that important?

McCartney: Yeah, well, this was being done in 2020, and I didn’t really think about it. I think everyone expected great things of 2020. “It’s gonna be great! Look at that number! 2020! Auspicious!” Then suddenly Covid hit, and it was like, “That’s gonna be auspicious all right, but maybe for the wrong reasons.” Someone said to me, “Well, you put out McCartney right after the Beatles broke up, and that was 1970, and then you did McCartney II in 1980.” And I said, “Oh, I’m going to release this in 2020 just for whatever you call it, the numerology...”

Swift: The numerology, the kind of look, the symbolism. I love numbers. Numbers kind of rule my whole world. The numbers 13... 89 is a big one. I have a few others that I find...

McCartney: Thirteen is lucky for some.

Swift: Yeah, it’s lucky for me. It’s my birthday. It’s all these weird coincidences of good things that have happened. Now, when I see it places, I look at it as a sign that things are going the way they’re supposed to. They may not be good now, they could be painful now, but things are on a track. I don’t know, I love the numerology.

McCartney: It’s spooky, Taylor. It’s very spooky. Now wait a minute: Where’d you get 89?

Swift: That’s when I was born, in 1989, and so I see it in different places and I just think it’s...

McCartney: No, it’s good. I like that, where certain things you attach yourself to, and you get a good feeling off them. I think that’s great.

Swift: Yeah, one of my favorite artists, Bon Iver, he has this thing with the number 22. But I was also wondering: You have always kind of seeked out a band or a communal atmosphere with like, you know, the Beatles and Wings, and then Egypt Station. I thought it was interesting when I realized you had made a record with no one else. I just wondered, did that feel natural?

McCartney: It’s one of the things I’ve done. Like with McCartney, because the Beatles had broken up, there was no alternative but to get a drum kit at home, get a guitar, get an amp, get a bass, and just make something for myself. So on that album, which I didn’t really expect to do very well, I don’t think it did. But people sort of say, “I like that. It was a very casual album.” It didn’t really have to mean anything. So I’ve done that, the play-everything-myself thing. And then I discovered synths and stuff, and sequencers, so I had a few of those at home. I just thought I’m going to play around with this and record it, so that became McCartney II. But it’s a thing I do. Certain people can do it. Stevie Wonder can do it. Stevie Winwood, I believe, has done it. So there are certain people quite like that.

When you’re working with someone else, you have to worry about their variances. Whereas your own variance, you kind of know it. It’s just something I’ve grown to like. Once you can do it, it becomes a little bit addictive. I actually made some records under the name the Fireman.

Swift: Love a pseudonym.

McCartney: Yeah, for the fun! But, you know, let’s face it, you crave fame and attention when you’re young. And I just remembered the other day, I was the guy in the Beatles that would write to journalists and say [speaks in a formal voice]: “We are a semiprofessional rock combo, and I’d think you’d like [us]... We’ve written over 100 songs (which was a lie), my friend John and I. If you mention us in your newspaper...” You know, I was always, like, craving the attention.

Swift: The hustle! That’s so great, though.

McCartney: Well, yeah, you need that.

Swift: Yeah, I think, when a pseudonym comes in is when you still have a love for making the work and you don’t want the work to become overshadowed by this thing that’s been built around you, based on what people know about you. And that’s when it’s really fun to create fake names and write under them.

McCartney: Do you ever do that?

Swift: Oh, yeah.

McCartney: Oh, yeah? Oh, well, we didn’t know that! Is that a widely known fact?

Swift: I think it is now, but it wasn’t. I wrote under the name Nils Sjöberg because those are two of the most popular names of Swedish males. I wrote this song called “This Is What You Came For” that Rihanna ended up singing. And nobody knew for a while. I remembered always hearing that when Prince wrote “Manic Monday,” they didn’t reveal it for a couple of months.

McCartney: Yeah, it also proves you can do something without the fame tag. I did something for Peter and Gordon; my girlfriend’s brother and his mate were in a band called Peter and Gordon. And I used to write under the name Bernard Webb.

Swift: [Laughs.] That’s a good one! I love it.

McCartney: As Americans call it, Ber-nard Webb. I did the Fireman thing. I worked with a producer, a guy called Youth, who’s this real cool dude. We got along great. He did a mix for me early on, and we got friendly. I would just go into the studio, and he would say, “Hey, what about this groove?” and he’d just made me have a little groove going. He’d say, “You ought to put some bass on it. Put some drums on it.” I’d just spend the whole day putting stuff on it. And we’d make these tracks, and nobody knew who Fireman was for a while. We must have sold all of 15 copies.

Swift: Thrilling, absolutely thrilling.

McCartney: And we didn’t mind, you know?

Swift: I think it’s so cool that you do projects that are just for you. Because I went with my family to see you in concert in 2010 or 2011, and the thing I took away from the show most was that it was the most selfless set list I had ever seen. It was completely geared toward what it would thrill us to hear. It had new stuff, but it had every hit we wanted to hear, every song we’d ever cried to, every song people had gotten married to, or been brokenhearted to. And I just remembered thinking, “I’ve got to remember that,” that you do that set list for your fans.

McCartney: You do that, do you?

Swift: I do now. I think that learning that lesson from you taught me at a really important stage in my career that if people want to hear “Love Story” and “Shake It Off,” and I’ve played them 300 million times, play them the 300-millionth-and-first time. I think there are times to be selfish in your career, and times to be selfless, and sometimes they line up.

McCartney: I always remembered going to concerts as a kid, completely before the Beatles, and I really hoped they would play the ones I loved. And if they didn’t, it was kind of disappointing. I had no money, and the family wasn’t wealthy. So this would be a big deal for me, to save up for months to afford the concert ticket.

Swift: Yeah, it feels like a bond. It feels like that person on the stage has given something, and it makes you as a crowd want to give even more back, in terms of applause, in terms of dedication. And I just remembered feeling that bond in the crowd, and thinking, “He’s up there playing these Beatles songs, my dad is crying, my mom is trying to figure out how to work her phone because her hands are shaking so much.” Because seeing the excitement course through not only me, but my family and the entire crowd in Nashville, it just was really special. I love learning lessons and not having to learn them the hard way. Like learning nice lessons I really value.

McCartney: Well, that’s great, and I’m glad that set you on that path. I understand people who don’t want to do that, and if you do, they’ll say, “Oh, it’s a jukebox show.” I hear what they’re saying. But I think it’s a bit of a cheat, because the people who come to our shows have spent a lot of money. We can afford to go to a couple of shows and it doesn’t make much difference. But a lot of ordinary working folks... it’s a big event in their life, and so I try and deliver. I also, like you say, try and put in a few weirdos.

Swift: That’s the best. I want to hear current things, too, to update me on where the artist is. I was wondering about lyrics, and where you were lyrically when you were making this record. Because when I was making Folklore, I went lyrically in a total direction of escapism and romanticism. And I wrote songs imagining I was, like, a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair [laughs]. I was completely...

McCartney: Was this “I want to give you a child”? Is that one of the lines?

Swift: Oh, that’s a song called “Peace.”

McCartney: “Peace,” I like that one.

Swift: “Peace” is actually more rooted in my personal life. I know you have done a really excellent job of this in your personal life: carving out a human life within a public life, and how scary that can be when you do fall in love and you meet someone, especially if you’ve met someone who has a very grounded, normal way of living. I, oftentimes, in my anxieties, can control how I am as a person and how normal I act and rationalize things, but I cannot control if there are 20 photographers outside in the bushes and what they do and if they follow our car and if they interrupt our lives. I can’t control if there’s going to be a fake weird headline about us in the news tomorrow.

McCartney: So how does that go? Does your partner sympathize with that and understand?

Swift: Oh, absolutely.

McCartney: They have to, don’t they?

Swift: But I think that in knowing him and being in the relationship I am in now, I have definitely made decisions that have made my life feel more like a real life and less like just a storyline to be commented on in tabloids. Whether that’s deciding where to live, who to hang out with, when to not take a picture - the idea of privacy feels so strange to try to explain, but it’s really just trying to find bits of normalcy. That’s what that song “Peace” is talking about. Like, would it be enough if I could never fully achieve the normalcy that we both crave? Stella always tells me that she had as normal a childhood as she could ever hope for under the circumstances.

McCartney: Yeah, it was very important to us to try and keep their feet on the ground amongst the craziness.

Swift: She went to a regular school...

McCartney: Yeah, she did.

Swift: And you would go trick-or-treating with them, wearing masks.

McCartney: All of them did, yeah. It was important, but it worked pretty well, because when they kind of reached adulthood, they would meet other kids who might have gone to private schools, who were a little less grounded.

And they could be the budding mothers to [kids]. I remember Mary had a friend, Orlando. Not Bloom. She used to really counsel him. And it’s ’cause she’d gone through that. Obviously, they got made fun of, my kids. They’d come in the classroom and somebody would sing, “Na na na na,” you know, one of the songs. And they’d have to handle that. They’d have to front it out.

Swift: Did that give you a lot of anxiety when you had kids, when you felt like all this pressure that’s been put on me is spilling over onto them, that they didn’t sign up for it? Was that hard for you?

McCartney: Yeah, a little bit, but it wasn’t like it is now. You know, we were just living a kind of semi-hippie life, where we withdrew from a lot of stuff. The kids would be doing all the ordinary things, and their school friends would be coming up to the house and having parties, and it was just great. I remember one lovely evening when it was Stella’s birthday, and she brought a bunch of school kids up. And, you know, they’d all ignore me. It happens very quickly. At first they’re like, “Oh, yeah, he’s like a famous guy,” and then it’s like [yawns]. I like that. I go in the other room and suddenly I hear this music going on. And one of the kids, his name was Luke, and he’s doing break dancing.

Swift: Ohhh!

McCartney: He was a really good break dancer, so all the kids are hanging out. That allowed them to be kind of normal with those kids. The other thing is, I don’t live fancy. I really don’t. Sometimes it’s a little bit of an embarrassment, if I’ve got someone coming to visit me, or who I know…

Swift: Cares about that stuff?

McCartney: Who’s got a nice big house, you know. Quincy Jones came to see me and I’m, like, making him a veggie burger or something. I’m doing some cooking. This was after I’d lost Linda, in between there. But the point I’m making is that I’m very consciously thinking, “Oh, God, Quincy’s got to be thinking, ‘What is this guy on? He hasn’t got big things going on. It’s not a fancy house at all. And we’re eating in the kitchen! He’s not even got the dining room going,’” you know?

Swift: I think that sounds like a perfect day.

McCartney: But that’s me. I’m awkward like that. That’s my kind of thing. Maybe I should have, like, a big stately home. Maybe I should get a staff. But I think I couldn’t do that. I’d be so embarrassed. I’d want to walk around dressed as I want to walk around, or naked, if I wanted to.

Swift: That can’t happen in Downton Abbey.

McCartney: [Laughs.] Exactly.

Swift: I remember what I wanted to know about, which is lyrics. Like, when you’re in this kind of strange, unparalleled time, and you’re making this record, are lyrics first? Or is it when you get a little melodic idea?

McCartney: It was a bit of both. As it kind of always is with me. There’s no fixed way. People used to ask me and John, “Well, who does the words, who does the music?” I used to say, “We both do both.” We used to say we don’t have a formula, and we don’t want one. Because the minute we get a formula, we should rip it up. I will sometimes, as I did with a couple of songs on this album, sit down at the piano and just start noodling around, and I’ll get a little idea and start to fill that out. So the lyrics - for me, it’s following a trail. I’ll start [sings “Find My Way,” a song from “McCartney III”]: “I can find my way. I know my left from right, da da da.” And I’ll just sort of fill it in. Like, we know this song, and I’m trying to remember the lyrics. Sometimes I’ll just be inspired by something. I had a little book which was all about the constellations and the stars and the orbits of Venus and...

Swift: Oh, I know that song - “The Kiss of Venus”?

McCartney: Yeah, “The Kiss of Venus.” And I just thought, “That’s a nice phrase.” So I was actually just taking phrases out of the book, harmonic sounds. And the book is talking about the maths of the universe, and how when things orbit around each other, and if you trace all the patterns, it becomes like a lotus flower.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: It’s very magical.

Swift: That is magical. I definitely relate to needing to find magical things in this very not-magical time, needing to read more books and learn to sew, and watch movies that take place hundreds of years ago. In a time where, if you look at the news, you just want to have a panic attack - I really relate to the idea that you are thinking about stars and constellations.

McCartney: Did you do that on Folklore?

Swift: Yes. I was reading so much more than I ever did, and watching so many more films.

McCartney: What stuff were you reading?

Swift: I was reading, you know, books like Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier, which I highly recommend, and books that dealt with times past, a world that doesn’t exist anymore. I was also using words I always wanted to use - kind of bigger, flowerier, prettier words, like “epiphany,” in songs. I always thought, “Well, that’ll never track on pop radio,” but when I was making this record, I thought, “What tracks? Nothing makes sense anymore. If there’s chaos everywhere, why don’t I just use the damn word I want to use in the song?”

McCartney: Exactly. So you’d see the word in a book and think, “I love that word”?

Swift: Yeah, I have favorite words, like “elegies” and “epiphany” and “divorcée,” and just words that I think sound beautiful, and I have lists and lists of them.

McCartney: How about “marzipan”?

Swift: Love “marzipan.”

McCartney: The other day, I was remembering when we wrote “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”: “kaleidoscope.”

Swift: “Kaleidoscope” is one of mine! I have a song on 1989, a song called “Welcome to New York,” that I put the word “kaleidoscope” in just because I’m obsessed with the word.

McCartney: I think a love of words is a great thing, particularly if you’re going to try to write a lyric, and for me, it’s like, “What is this going to say to that person?” I often feel like I’m writing to someone who is not doing so well. So I’m trying to write songs that might help. Not in a goody-goody, crusading kind of way, but just thinking there have been so many times in my life when I’ve heard a song and felt so much better. I think that’s the angle I want, that inspirational thing.

I remember once, a friend of mine from Liverpool, we were teenagers and we were going to a fairground. He was a schoolmate, and we had these jackets that had a little fleck in the material, which was the cool thing at the time.

Swift: We should have done matching jackets for this photo shoot.

McCartney: Find me a fleck, I’m in. But we went to the fair, and I just remember - this is what happens with songs - there was this girl at the fair. This is just a little Liverpool fair - it was in a place called Sefton Park - and there was this girl, who was so beautiful. She wasn’t a star. She was so beautiful. Everyone was following her, and it’s like, “Wow.” It’s like a magical scene, you know? But all this gave me a headache, so I ended up going back to his house - I didn’t normally get headaches. And we thought, “What can we do?” So we put on the Elvis song “All Shook Up.” By the end of that song, my headache had gone. I thought, you know, “That’s powerful.”

Swift: That really is powerful.

McCartney: I love that, when people stop me in the street and say, “Oh, I was going through an illness and I listened to a lot of your stuff, and I’m better now and it got me through,” or kids will say, “It got me through exams.” You know, they’re studying, they’re going crazy, but they put your music on. I’m sure it happens with a lot of your fans. It inspires them, you know?

Swift: Yeah, I definitely think about that as a goal. There’s so much stress everywhere you turn that I kind of wanted to make an album that felt sort of like a hug, or like your favorite sweater that makes you feel like you want to put it on.

McCartney: What, a “cardigan”?

Swift: Like a good cardigan, a good, worn-in cardigan. Or something that makes you reminisce on your childhood. I think sadness can be cozy. It can obviously be traumatic and stressful, too, but I kind of was trying to lean into sadness that feels like somehow enveloping in not such a scary way - like nostalgia and whimsy incorporated into a feeling like you’re not all right. Because I don’t think anybody was really feeling like they were in their prime this year. Isolation can mean escaping into your imagination in a way that’s kind of nice.

McCartney: I think a lot of people have found that. I would say to people, “I feel a bit guilty about saying I’m actually enjoying this quarantine thing,” and people go, “Yeah, I know, don’t say it to anyone.” A lot of people are really suffering.

Swift: Because there’s a lot in life that’s arbitrary. Completely and totally arbitrary. And [the quarantine] is really shining a light on that, and also a lot of things we have that we outsource that you can actually do yourself.

McCartney: I love that. This is why I said I live simply. That’s, like, at the core of it. With so many things, something goes wrong and you go, “Oh, I’ll get somebody to fix that.” And then it’s like, “No, let me have a look at it...”

Swift: Get a hammer and a nail.

McCartney: “Maybe I can put that picture up.” It’s not rocket science. The period after the Beatles, when we went to live in Scotland on a really - talk about dumpy - little farm. I mean, I see pictures of it now and I’m not ashamed, but I’m almost ashamed. Because it’s like, “God, nobody’s cleaned up around here.”

But it was really a relief. Because when I was with the Beatles, we’d formed Apple Records, and if I wanted a Christmas tree, someone would just buy it. And I thought, after a while, “No, you know what? I really would like to go and buy our Christmas tree. Because that’s what everyone does.” So you go down - “I’ll have that one” - and you carried it back. I mean, it’s little, but it’s huge at the same time.

I needed a table in Scotland and I was looking through a catalog and I thought, “I could make one. I did woodwork in school, so I know what a dovetail joint is.” So I just figured it out. I’m just sitting in the kitchen, and I’m whittling away at this wood and I made this little joint. There was no nail technology - it was glue. And I was scared to put it together. I said, “It’s not going to fit,” but one day, I got my woodwork glue and thought, “There’s no going back.” But it turned out to be a real nice little table I was very proud of. It was that sense of achievement.

The weird thing was, Stella went up to Scotland recently and I said, “Isn’t it there?” and she said, “No.” Anyway, I searched for it. Nobody remembered it. Somebody said, “Well, there’s a pile of wood in the corner of one of the barns, maybe that’s it. Maybe they used it for firewood.” I said, “No, it’s not firewood.” Anyway, we found it, and do you know how joyous that was for me? I was like, “You found my table?!” Somebody might say that’s a bit boring.

Swift: No, it’s cool!

McCartney: But it was a real sort of great thing for me to be able to do stuff for yourself. You were talking about sewing. I mean normally, in your position, you’ve got any amount of tailors.

Swift: Well, there’s been a bit of a baby boom recently; several of my friends have gotten pregnant.

McCartney: Oh, yeah, you’re at the age.

Swift: And I was just thinking, “I really want to spend time with my hands, making something for their children.” So I made this really cool flying-squirrel stuffed animal that I sent to one of my friends. I sent a teddy bear to another one, and I started making these little silk baby blankets with embroidery. It’s gotten pretty fancy. And I’ve been painting a lot.

McCartney: What do you paint? Watercolors?

Swift: Acrylic or oil. Whenever I do watercolor, all I paint is flowers. When I have oil, I really like to do landscapes. I always kind of return to painting a lonely little cottage on a hill.

McCartney: It’s a bit of a romantic dream. I agree with you, though, I think you’ve got to have dreams, particularly this year. You’ve got to have something to escape to. When you say “escapism,” it sounds like a dirty word, but this year, it definitely wasn’t. And in the books you’re reading, you’ve gone into that world. That’s, I think, a great thing. Then you come back out. I normally will read a lot before I go to bed. So I’ll come back out, then I’ll go to sleep, so I think it really is nice to have those dreams that can be fantasies or stuff you want to achieve.

Swift: You’re creating characters. This was the first album where I ever created characters, or wrote about the life of a real-life person. There’s a song called “The Last Great American Dynasty” that’s about this real-life heiress who lived just an absolutely chaotic, hectic...

McCartney: She’s a fantasy character?

Swift: She’s a real person. Who lived in the house that I live in.

McCartney: She’s a real person? I listened to that and I thought, “Who is this?”

Swift: Her name was Rebekah Harkness. And she lived in the house that I ended up buying in Rhode Island. That’s how I learned about her. But she was a woman who was very, very talked about, and everything she did was scandalous. I found a connection in that. But I also was thinking about how you write “Eleanor Rigby” and go into that whole story about what all these people in this town are doing and how their lives intersect, and I hadn’t really done that in a very long time with my music. It had always been so microscope personal.

McCartney: Yeah, ’cause you were writing breakup songs like they were going out of style.

Swift: I was, before my luck changed [laughs]. I still write breakup songs. I love a good breakup song. Because somewhere in the world, I always have a friend going through a breakup, and that will make me write one.

McCartney: Yeah, this goes back to this thing of me and John: When you’ve got a formula, break it. I don’t have a formula. It’s the mood I’m in. So I love the idea of writing a character. And, you know, trying to think, “What am I basing this on?” So “Eleanor Rigby” was based on old ladies I knew as a kid. For some reason or other, I got great relationships with a couple of local old ladies. I was thinking the other day, I don’t know how I met them, it wasn’t like they were family. I’d just run into them, and I’d do their shopping for them.

Swift: That’s amazing.

McCartney: It just felt good to me. I would sit and talk, and they’d have amazing stories. That’s what I liked. They would have stories from the wartime - because I was born actually in the war - and so these old ladies, they were participating in the war. This one lady I used to sort of just hang out with, she had a crystal radio that I found very magical. In the war, a lot of people made their own radios - you’d make them out of crystals [sings “The Twilight Zone” theme].

Swift: How did I not know this? That sounds like something I would have tried to learn about.

McCartney: It’s interesting, because there is a lot of parallels with the virus and lockdowns and wartime. It happened to everyone. Like, this isn’t HIV, or SARS, or Avian flu, which happened to others, generally. This has happened to everyone, all around the world. That’s the defining thing about this particular virus. And, you know, my parents... it happened to everyone in Britain, including the queen and Churchill. War happened. So they were all part of this thing, and they all had to figure out a way through it. So you figured out Folklore. I figured out McCartney III.

Swift: And a lot of people have been baking sourdough bread. Whatever gets you through!

McCartney: Some people used to make radios. And they’d take a crystal - we should look it up, but it actually is a crystal. I thought, “Oh, no, they just called it a crystal radio,” but it’s actually crystals like we know and love.

Swift: Wow.

McCartney: And somehow they get the radio waves - this crystal attracts them - they tune it in, and that’s how they used to get their news. Back to “Eleanor Rigby,” so I would think of her and think of what she’s doing and then just try to get lyrical, just try to bring poetry into it, words you love, just try to get images like “picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,” and Father McKenzie “is darning his socks in the night.” You know, he’s a religious man, so I could’ve said, you know, “preparing his Bible,” which would have been more obvious. But “darning his socks” kind of says more about him. So you get into this lovely fantasy. And that’s the magic of songs, you know. It’s a black hole, and then you start doing this process, and then there’s this beautiful little flower that you’ve just made. So it is very like embroidery, making something.

Swift: Making a table.

McCartney: Making a table.

Swift: Wow, it would’ve been so fun to play Glastonbury for the 50th anniversary together.

McCartney: It would’ve been great, wouldn’t it? And I was going to be asking you to play with me.

Swift: Were you going to invite me? I was hoping that you would. I was going to ask you.

McCartney: I would’ve done “Shake It Off.”

Swift: Oh, my God, that would have been amazing.

McCartney: I know it, it’s in C!

Swift: One thing I just find so cool about you is that you really do seem to have the joy of it, still, just no matter what. You seem to have the purest sense of joy of playing an instrument and making music, and that’s just the best, I think.

McCartney: Well, we’re just so lucky, aren’t we?

Swift: We’re really lucky.

McCartney: I don’t know if it ever happens to you, but with me, it’s like, “Oh, my god, I’ve ended up as a musician.”

Swift: Yeah, I can’t believe it’s my job.

McCartney: I must tell you a story I told Mary the other day, which is just one of my favorite little sort of Beatles stories. We were in a terrible, big blizzard, going from London to Liverpool, which we always did. We’d be working in London and then drive back in the van, just the four of us with our roadie, who would be driving. And this was a blizzard. You couldn’t see the road. At one point, it slid off and it went down an embankment. So it was “Ahhh,” a bunch of yelling. We ended up at the bottom. It didn’t flip, luckily, but so there we are, and then it’s like, “Oh, how are we going to get back up? We’re in a van. It’s snowing, and there’s no way.” We’re all standing around in a little circle, and thinking, “What are we going to do?” And one of us said, “Well, something will happen.” And I thought that was just the greatest. I love that, that’s a philosophy.

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: And it did. We sort of went up the bank, we thumbed a lift, we got the lorry driver to take us, and Mal, our roadie, sorted the van and everything. So that was kind of our career. And I suppose that’s like how I ended up being a musician and a songwriter: “Something will happen.”

Swift: That’s the best.

McCartney: It’s so stupid it’s brilliant. It’s great if you’re ever in that sort of panic attack: “Oh, my God,” or, “Ahhh, what am I going to do?”

Swift: “Something will happen.”

McCartney: All right then, thanks for doing this, and this was, you know, a lot of fun.

Swift: You’re the best. This was so awesome. Those were some quality stories!

#this just might be the longest post I have ever posted #I have so much work so I'll read and edit later #taylor swift #paul mccartney #Rolling Stone magazine #interview #folklore era

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bts-weverse-trans · 4 years ago

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201128 Weverse Magazine ‘BE’ Comeback Interview - Namjoon

RM: “I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.28

The story of BTS’ new album BE started on April 17, 2020 when group member RM announced its production on the BANGTANTV YouTube channel. In the seven months that followed until the album’s release, RM’s mind was full, his thoughts flowing in and out of his head.

How do you feel about the unique approach you took to making your new album, BE? RM: The other members were a ton of help to me. My lyrics made it on the album, but the music I composed didn’t, so I’m really thankful to the group for the music. How should I say this? I feel like everyone is doing a great job. There are so many parts in these songs that I’m indebted to them for. “Stay” was originally going to be the title song on Jung Kook’s mixtape, but everyone liked it so much, and they all agreed to put that on our album. That’s how much influence they had. I’m really happy my room idea was chosen to be the album photos. Since we’re spending a lot of time in our rooms because of COVID-19, we laid out the idea of each of us decorating a room in our own style. I can’t remember for sure (laughs) but I think I’m the one who came up with that. I made a comfortable room, one that’s modern and warm because that’s what I like.

There’s a painting in the middle, and symmetrically arranged figurines. RM: The figures are from my own collection. I wanted to show one of my paintings, but that didn’t pan out. But still, those are the things I hold most dear to me right now, so I let the room embody the things I wish I had, too.

It’s well known that you like art and frequent exhibitions, but how do you feel when you look at art in your home or another space where there are no people, like in the album art? RM: Someone said, “You don’t have to buy this painting; it’s yours so long as you’re looking at it.” That’s my favorite sound bite these days. What I most envied about painters was that, even after they died, their work would be hanging up somewhere, maybe even in another country, still defining that space. Musicians leave behind their songs and videos, too, but it’s only through fine art that viewers in the future are able to completely meet artists from the past. I’m envious that this is only possible for painters. These days I’m trying to find spaces where I can have more relaxed viewing experiences.

There’s a full experience involved, from the time you get ready to leave your house until the time you’re actually looking at artwork in the gallery. RM: That’s perfect to me. There’s art you can keep at home, and then there’s art that should always be viewed in museums.

What effect do you think that type of experience has on your music? You didn’t compose any of the songs but instead participated in writing the lyrics to all of the tracks. Did that experience affect your lyric writing in any way? RM: I think it’s helped me develop a way of thinking using all the senses. I used to be attuned to speech and focus on language and auditory textures, but now I can look at my thoughts from many different angles. That’s why I spend more time studying art now. I’m waiting for the day that it all comes to the surface, like when you paint the base on a canvas over and over so the colors pop. It’s hard to answer in one word if it has a direct influence on my work, but I think people who create music develop a way of seeing the world through their personal experience and their creative process. Painters naturally exhibit their art over a very long period of time. I think it gave me an eye for looking at the world in one long, continuous stroke. So now it’s become a little challenging for me to write lyrics these days. I’ve become more cautious.

Why is it so challenging? RM: I used to have so many ideas pouring out that it was hard to pluck one out. So I would stack them up like a Jenga tower and ponder over which one to remove. But now, it’s hard to even add a block to the stack. I’m not sure why but, when I look at these artists whose works span their entire lives, I sense that the rhythm of my creativity is slowing down more and more. That’s the source of my dilemma. I’m only 27 years old. I still need to wander around and get tripped up a little. But am I just trying to imitate what the fine artists are doing? Or maybe BTS experienced so much in the past seven years, that now it’s time for us to take a breather? I’ve got so many questions, I feel like my hair’s turning white. That’s why none of my songs are on the album. I wrote some, but they were too personal to use there. I don’t exactly like myself like this, but I have to see through to the end in this direction and find the answer.

Maybe for that reason, your rapping has shifted focus to the lyrics more so than trend or musicality. It emphasizes the feeling of the words over a particular format or beat. RM: Exactly. In—was it 2017? Pdogg was talking to Yoongi, Hobi and me about our style, and said, “Namjoon, it feels like you’re becoming a lyricist,” and it really stuck with me. I have a lot of thoughts lately when I watch Show Me the Money or listen to hip hop songs from the Billboard chart. My music started out all about my life as a rapper, so I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now.

So you’ve started to ask yourself who you are as a musician? RM: I listened to Lee So-ra’s seventh album again today. I keep changing my mind but, if I had to pick between her sixth and seventh album, I like her seventh a little more. And then I listen to the most popular songs on Billboard, and I feel kind of thrown off. Um … There’s something Whanki Kim said that’s been running around in my head lately: After moving to New York, he embraced the style of artists like Mark Rothko and Adolf Gottlieb, but then he said, “I’m Korean, and I can’t do anything not Korean. I can’t do anything apart from this, because I am an outsider.” And I keep thinking that way, too. That’s my main concern lately.

You can feel that on BE. As the members take on more prominent roles as songwriters and producers, characteristics of old Korean music—the kind of music you likely listened to in middle and high school—gradually entered your sound. But your music isn’t from that era, and it sounds like pop, but not quite. RM: The sound has to fit with the whole album so I couldn’t incorporate that feel into BTS songs, but the songs I’m listening to most lately have been Korean. Songs like P-Type’s “Don Quixote,” Dead’P’s “Spread My Wings,” Soul Company’s album The Bangerz. The impressions the songs from back then have left on me, the lyrics from back then and the lyrics from now, they’re different. So BE is both Korean and pop; it’s very unique, in my view.

I think that’s especially true for “Life Goes On.” It’s got a pop melody, but compared to “Dynamite,” it has a very different feel. It doesn’t slip deep into the sentimental, instead allowing the melody to flow naturally. RM: Exactly. The chorus is totally pop, and one of the writers was also American. But the song doesn’t really follow American music trends, weirdly. So I don’t know how “Life Goes On” is going to be received. It’s really calm, almost contemplative. So there’s lyrics, like, “Like an echo in the forest,” and, “Like an arrow in the blue sky.” The song kind of feels like that: It could just float off and disappear. It might even come off as bland next to “Dynamite.”

If nothing else, it seems the song will stick around for a long time. Maybe kids now will listen to it later on in the future. RM: I hope so. That’s the one thing I really hope for, people in the future, thinking back and saying, “Oh, right! Remember that one song?” That’s what my favorite artists and other people who leave a lasting impression on me have in common. One thing common among the songs that have affected me a lot, like Lee So-ra’s seventh album, is that the lyrics they utter in their voice along with the overall sound stick with me. I hope when people look back, my words uttered with the sound of my voice, echoes for a long time in an auditory or visual way, or even throughout their entire lives. But that’s the dilemma: We have all these bling-bling symbols of our success, but we’re not that kind of team.

And yet, BTS’s career path is even more “bling-bling” than ever. “Dynamite” was the top song on the Billboard Hot 100. RM: I was the first one to check our position (laughs) but I didn’t want to get too excited about it. I was scared of facing disappointment so I put the brakes on out of habit, and restrained myself. But on the other hand, I feel like I should relish this moment. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing; shouldn’t I enjoy myself a bit? But I disliked that sensation of only feeling elated so I tried to be as objective as possible. I was just one small part of everything that made this happen.

It reminds me of that part, “Running faster than that cloud of rain / Thought that would be enough / Guess I’m only human after all,” from “Life Goes On.” RM: “Only human” sounds so appropriate for me right now. One time, I saw a dark cloud over the N Seoul Tower while I was walking along the Han River. I was with a friend and we talked about where the border between where it’s raining and where it’s not might be, and suddenly, we came up with the idea to run and find that spot. But after running for 10 minutes, the cloud was even further away than it had been. At that moment, the puzzle pieces snapped into place. You think you can go faster than that dark cloud? No. That’s what I realized then. And I just like what Whanki Kim said, that maybe I can’t do anything not Korean, because that’s what I am. I used to work late and then stay up all night when things weren’t working out, sometimes walking from Samseong to Sinsa station, thinking everything through. But now, like the saying, I realize that maybe I can’t do more than what I am.

On Weverse, you said that you gained some muscle from working out. Could the change to your body improve your creativity in the long term? RM: I started to think I better change myself a little, physically or mentally. I’m talking about being steady. I used to bombard myself with challenges and worries and just get over them, but now I think it’s time to find that one sturdy thing and plant myself there. The best choice was working out, and I think it’s changing my behavior a lot. I’m hoping that, if I keep working out for a year or two, I’ll become a different person.

Music is your job, but also your life. Like you expressed in “Dis-ease,” how would you say you feel about your work? RM: This is my job and my calling and I feel a great sense of responsibility. I think I’m lucky and happy that I can solely worry about my creative process. And I feel very responsible to those people who put their trust in me, so I try not to cross any lines, judge myself honestly, and always be professional. Those are the responsibilities that come with the job—the things I have to do and the promises I won’t betray. But if I’m going to do it, I’m going to be happy while I do it. That’s not always going to be possible, but that’s generally how I feel.

Well then, how do you feel about BTS at the moment? RM: BTS is … Well, it’s really hard to tell. (laughs) When BTS started out, I thought, “I know everything there is to know about BTS,” but now it’s, “I don’t know a single thing about BTS.” In the past, I felt like I knew everything, and that anything was possible. Call it childish or ambitious. But if I were to ask myself, “What is BTS to me?” I would say, we’re just people who met each other because we were meant to. But it feels like the stars aligned and a startup company became a unicorn, with perfect timing and lots of smart people. Looking back, there were a lot of ironies and contradictions in this industry. I thought I figured them out one by one, and then finally understood the whole thing. But now I feel like I don’t know anything at all. Anyway, to sum up: My young, reckless twenties. The events of my twenties. There were a lot of contradictions, people, fame, and conflict all tangled together, but it was my choice and I got a lot out of it, so my twenties were an intense but also happy time.

And what about you, as one individual person? RM: I’m a real Korean person. (laughs) A person who wants to do something in Korea. I think millennials are charging into society stuck between the analog and digital generations, and what I chose is BTS. So I try to integrate myself into our generation, try to understand what people like me are thinking, and try to work hard to capture that feeling without being a burden on them. This might be another kind of irony itself, but this is who I am. I’m a 27-year-old Korean. That’s what I think.

#bangtan #namjoon #weverse #weverse magazine #comeback interview #be album #201128 #2020

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goth-girlfriend · 3 years ago

Note

Just wondering and no pressure here! Are you ever gonna finish the Endeavor fic? Love ur works bby and stay safe out there! <3

Yes yes yes 😤😭 Anything for you sweetheart and especially anything for Enji. Take care of yourself ❤️❤️

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“What?” I yawned out loud to myself pushing myself up. My arm was sore from sleeping on it, I looked around and blinked at the light that had made itself known. I tried to push to sit up being held down by a familiar weight. I yawned again, before rolling over under Enji’s arm. I pressed my back against his warm side resting on my arm that wasn’t sore. I pulled his arm around my waist to feel like I was being held in place.

“Ah, security.” I sighed using his shoulder and bicep as a pillow, “Not soft at all.” I snuggled against the firm muscle until I heard a throaty chuckle. His chest shook lightly and I looked up at him he was awake. His eyes lidded from sleep still fighting against consciousness, I watched a faint smile pull at the corners of his lips, I couldn’t fight the most likely idiotic looking grin that surfaced. I laughed and shook my head as quietly as I could. I turned in his arm and hugged his chest. I watched as he moved his free arm behind his head, his bicep bulged at the unintentional flexing.

“Good morning.” I smiled and let my head fall against his shoulder while I looked up at him. It felt perfect, this moment. The morning sun filtered by the beige curtains lighting the room in gold with a few thin slits of white sunlight breaking through. The white duvet stopping at waist, open sleeping shirt, messy hair, pressed into his side sighing content. The rumble of the AC filling the silence, soft breathing, its perfect. In this moment, in this place, there is no history, there is no future, its us in this moment. With nothing to ruin the moment I sighed and closed my eyes feeling the faint heat of his rising chest.

“Good morning.” He finally answered, voice deeper than usual, I felt him shuffle, before I felt his lips pressed onto the top of my head. I felt my eyes flutter involuntary, and my heart swelling. I smiled closing my eyes enjoying the closeness, perfect, this is perfect.

“DDAAAAAAADD!!” I blinked a few times remembering where we were, I watched as he groaned rubbing his face with his hand and sitting up leaving me behind.

“Yes, Fuyumi?” He called starting to stand up doing a few basic stretches.

”Y/N IS GONE DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING THIS MORNING MAYBE SHE LEFT TO GET BREAKFAST?!” She screamed through the door, I watched the door handle jiggle, thanking God I locked it last night.

“Yes, I heard someone moving this morning. It could have been (L/N), why don’t you go look around down stairs, I need to shower and get ready.” He yawned before he stood popping his back.

“Mmm...” there was a pause and some shuffling.

I heard Sho’s faint voice “Fuyumi, look y/n sent me message this morning saying she was going to a nearby convinience store to buy some things she had forgotten. She’ll be back soon.” I sighed thanking God once again that I had told Shoto my password all those weeks ago.

“Alright, DON’T MIND DAD!” She screamed before I heard them walk away, Great, now how am I supposed to leave? I looked around, “Does that window open?” I asked pointing to the window in the room. “It‘s a balcony.” Enji pulled back the curtains revealing an pretty good sized balcony with fancy railing. I was wearing sleeping shorts and a long sleeve shirt with some socks, I‘ll fly down, and just walk back in... but I went to the store.... so I need to come back with something. “Can I have ten dollars?” I smiled sheepishly looking at Enji.“

He sighed before turning to the dresser and pulled out a bill out of his wallet. I grinned and thanked him, “I’ll be back in, five or ten minutes.” I shrugged and opened the Balcony window. Taking eagle form, I dived down into an alley way barrel rolling and lading back on human feet. I walked out and stopped outside a tourist shop. The shop owner was placing out a box of mini hero figures, the same figures from that night we patrolled. These were a new release with the change to get Gold or Silver All Might, Endeavour or Hawks. I got excited and rushed in, I “went to the store”, but I never said what for. the packs were on sale, 2 for $5.00. And lucky for me, I had managed to get a $50. Each box comes with 12 lucky bags each bag has 3 mini figures, there are only 10 Pro hero’s currently released in this line. I have a ten percent chance of getting Endeavour, All Might or Hawks, if you add the 6 new figures to the line thats 16 characters in total. Meaning there are three possible Endeavor, All Might and Hawks,,, But, the chances of getting a special edition, would be 2 of 16 which should be 12.5 out of 100. If I multiply by three that raises the chance 37.5 of 100. So out of all 36 Figures that means I have to at least get 1 limited edition Per box, bu counting in these are the first boxes to pull in customers, they overload the limited ones to make it look easy so people will be convinced to buy them because it’s “easy” to find a limited figure... meaning... “ill give you $50 even for both boxes.”

I turned to look at the cashier guy who seemed unimpressed but nodded, “I usually sell boxes for $30 dollars each but I feel generous 25 each plus taxes.”

“How about $20 plus taxes.” I counter offered. He squinted at me before he made another offer, we went at this until we were back at my original offer. “Alright, this is my last offer,” he huffed and stared at me hard, “$50 dollars cash, no taxes, and IF you become a Pro Hero you do advertising free for my shop.”

I laughed and nodded, “Deal.” He packed the boxes and I paid him before we parted ways. By the time I made it back to the hotel Fuyumi rushed to me with a look of worry. “Where were yOU I WAS WORRIED?!”

I smiled, “I was in the middle of a very serious conversation about some very serious things.”

“A toy store, that bag says you were at a toy store.” Shoto said sounding very unimpressed.

I smiled and let out a sheepish laugh, “well...” I looked down and hid the bag behind me, “I never said I went to buy anything important.”

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“Ow......ow.......nooooo stop.” I whined feeling one more tug at my hair and finally it fell down.

“There, we’re done.” Fuyumi fluffed my hair a bit before smoothing it out again, “Now lets go, before Natsuo starts causing a fuss.” She ushered me to move and I did leading our way to the elevator.

“Alright,“ I sighed slouching a little... “....Wanna see something cool?” I asked standing back up, Fuyumi cocked a brow by smiled a little, “Alright, I do actually.”

I dug into my pocket and pulled out a gold endeavor figure, “Boom, its your dad.“ I took her hand and placed it in her palm, “You can have that, I have another one.” I smiled when she let out a slight laugh. “Thank you, I’ll keep him with my keys.” We stood in a comfortable silence until the doors opened and we started to move out I asked, “Soooo, what are we doing after this award ceremony?” I asked tilting my head in curiosity.”

“I don’t know, she said he lips pulling to the side in a displeased way, “They didn’t let me plan out this trip so its a surprise for the both of us.” My only answer was to nod while I smiled down at the ground, “Sounds Fun.”

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”Aren’t those kids from UA?” The voices of photographers were loud with there questions as flashes went of left and right, “Why are they with Pro Hero Endeavor?” “I don’t know but these kids could pull in the views!”

“Todoroki! A question if you Will!” “Hey Midoriya Over here!” “L/N! Can you pose for a few photos!” “Todoroki look over here!” Midoriya whats it like to learn from Pro Hero All Might??” “L/N! L/N! Are you affiliated with Todoroki or Midoriya?”

As much as I love getting my photo taken, I knew sticking around for pictures and questions in this scenario is probably the last thing I should do. So instead I stayed close to Natsuo almost sandwiched between him and Fuyumi. I stayed betwen them as we kept moving, Sho and Deku were behind us not rushing, Sho seemed unaffected and Deku was looking down red faced and embarrassed. It was kinda cute. I looked back ahead watching Enji ignore everyone moving forward with purpose and carrying himself with pride. I smiled watching him I know not everyone can see him or respect him as the number one hero but, to me, He can be so much more if only people would give him a chance. I know he’s not the most kind person in public, but with the right sidekick or partner that could change easy. When Hawks was with him those brief days, his like ability actually raised. So I know all it takes is someone pushing him to be more interactive with his fans, he knows now there are some that like him, bit i also understand why it’s so hard for him to accept it...

“Alright, were in, lets go find some seats.”

The ceremony went by slowly, I was bored listening to a bunch of speeches but at least made it look like I was paying attention. I couldn’t even sit by Enji because Fuyumi took my place, and then I managed to get stuck between Natsuo and Sho and they kept talking and we had to refrain from laughing to loud at a few things. Midoriya was so interested in everything that was happening and i started to pay attention when they actually started calling name, Sho and Natsuo stopped after Fuyumi told them to shut up. Which I appreciated now that things were getting interesting. I listened to the awards leaning forward more and more as more hero’s showed up collecting awards and moving on with speeches each with their own rounds of applause. I got this twisted feeling about Eniji going so I whispered to Sho who voiced the idea of us cheering for their dad and Fuyumi praised him for caring about their dad and he took the praise. So when Enji was called for an award of Achievement and a few other things the crowd applauded but how it normaly had so I stood up pulling Sho and Natsuo with me which caused Fuyumi and Midoriya to stand we clapped louder and cheered “For the new Number one Hero!” I screamed and then the five of us cheered more as others started to stand and clap louder. I looked at Fuyumi who smiled back and nodded. After the crowd calmed down and sat he gave a short speech, almost another thirty minutes of closing speech we finally got to leave.

“Finally! I’m free!” I cheered running straigh into Natsuo’s back as he stopped out of nowhere. “My face.” I groaned pushing away from him, it was in that moment I realized how big he actually was, “Wow, you’re actually tall.” I leaned to use his head to block the sun.

He looked back over his shoulder at me, “huh? Did you say something down there?” He... he just... he just bullied me for my height... “I-...” I look esta him and swallowed, “IM TELLING FUYUMI YOURE BULLYING ME!”

I watched his eyes widen and turned to rush to Fuyumi and he screamed, “wait...NO”

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“Natsuuoooooo?” I poked his cheek as he sat pouting arms crossed, “Nat...Suo? Nat... pssst hey Nat, you still mad?” I poked his cheek again and smiled watching him force back a smile. “Come one, you cant be mad.” I poked his cheek causing him to smile briefly before he forced it back again, so I quickly summoned a feather and poked his cheek distracting him before using it to tickle his other side causing him to laugh.

“Alright fine fine, I’m not mad anymore.” He wheezed as I pulled my feather away, plucking it from the air. “A hero’s work is never done.” I gave an exaggerated sigh and he a single laugh kinda like a scoff, “Some hero you are, you get innocent pedestrians hurt to save them.” he crossed his arms and snapped his head the other way, unamused I felt me brows go up, “Innocent? Pedestrian? You?” I paused when he gave me an offended look. “I don’t think so.”

“Natsuo-“ We turned to look at Shoto, the two of having been sitting outside on a stone bench after Fuyumi scolded him strongly and I pulled into it.

“Yes?” He asked standing up and popping his back.

“Our father, asked if you could head back with Fuyumi to the hotel to pick up her bag of clothes. She left it when she was rushing out. Well meet for lunch before we do anything else.” Shoto said leaning his head to the side slightly.

“Oh,” he looked at me and then over his shoulder at the doors we had both just sulked out of, “yeah, well take a Taxi. I’ll get Fuyumi and we’ll leave.” He nodded and turned to leave.

I moved to stand by Sho, “So?” I asked elbowing him slightly, “how was last night?” “Well, I could ask you the same.” He side eyed me, “Take your phone with you next time you jump out a window.” I didn’t miss the amusement in his eyes, “Right,” I nodded and he closed his eyes a small smile on his lips. “Now, where are we going for lunch?”

“Oh! I read about this American style fondue place! It’s supposed to be really good! So I kinda wanted to try it and I was going to suggest it but, it’s pricey so, eheh, ya know.” I shrugged and Shoto’s brief look of amusement came back, you want what Kaminari told me is a Glucose Guardian, someone who pays for what you want.” I choked, “Sugar daddy.”

“What?”

“What. Nothing, so, lunch? I’m hungry? Also I’m riding in front move.” I rushed past him jumping into the passenger seat before he followed after Deku had met him. I was buzzing in my seat and the took Enji’s hand the moment he was sat and started driving, I squeezed his hand staring out the window, watching the building and cars pass. It felt so nostalgic, but how could it be nostalgic?

“Where are we eating?” I turned to Enji at his question, before looking at Sho through the mirror, “There’s this place Y/n was talking about.” I felt a squeeze to my hand meeting Enji’s stare as he looked at me briefly before looking at the road, “Where is it?”

I smiled and used my free hand to grab my phone, “it’s not to far from here, we should be able to make it in ten minutes if traffic is good.” I clicked away typing the address, “Yup, go straight, take a right at the light, and it should be a large glass building on the corner! It’s a fondue place, more American style!” I tried to talk and explain while squeezing Enji’s hand at the excitement I was feeling. Upon getting to the restaurant we waited a while, having sent Fuyumi and Natsuo the address we waited at least half an hour until we got a call.

“Dad, I don’t think we’ll be able to do lunch today, a really bad wreck caused a traffic jam on this side of the city, it’s an estimated two hour wait until we can move, well find a place to eat once we get closer if you all want to go ahead and eat we’ll be fine.” Before he could answer Shoto spoke “Thank you for your sacrifice.”

“We should go then?” I questioned looking around the car.

“Yes.” Enji said turning the key and opening his door to get out.

After we all got out the car, we started our way towards the restaurant. I awed at it, we made it in met with a nice man, “Welcome to The Melting Hot Pot! How many will be in your party?”

We all looked up at Enji, “Four.” We all nodded, it felt as if we were judging him.

“Would you like a private room or to be seated in our public seating area.”

“Private.” He nodded and the host nodded, “You can follow me this way.”

“Will this be you’re first time dining with us?” We all slid into seats in the large luxurious looking booth, it’s was in a room with a sliding screen door for privacy.

“Yes it will.”

“Great! I’ll give you the crash course before you’re waiter comes to attend to your table.”

After about seven minutes and looking at a menu the Host left and we started to talk about what sounded good.

“Wisconsin cheddar cheese?” Shoto asked.

“Flaming turtle... sounds painful...” Midoriya was staring at the opposite side of the menu.

“Maybe... we should start with a salad? Before we start looking at the fondue, there’s.. Wisconsin Wedge... California... Caesar... and a house, so, what sounds good?”

We tried to talk it out but no luck, we ended up right where we started, until Midoriya looked at Enji, “Mr.Endeavor sir,” I held back a laugh.

He hummed staring at Deku, his face didn’t change making him seem angry or annoyed, “What?”

Midoriya flinched.

“Maybe you.... you have more experience with this than we do, do you have a-any... advice?”

Enji nodded, “Get a California Salad, you’re allowed two cheeses, well get the Wisconsin Cheddar and Quattro Formaggio, for entree you’ll get a classic plate that comes with Pork, shrimp, chicken and steak cooked in a Mojo style broth, and for two desserts you’ll get a flaming turtle and Yin & Yang mix.”

We all stared at him, “Have you been here before?” I asked interested.

“No,” he held up a rectangular piece of plastic lined paper, “It’s a recommended course.”

“That’s very convenient.” I mumbled and we all looked as our waiter slid the door open finally entering.

“Hello, sorry for being late, what can I bring you to drink.”

“A tea, please.” Shoto and Midoriya spoke at the same time.

“Alright, two sweet iced teas,” and for you, she turned to me, “A spirit free watermelon cooler.”

“Good choice, and for you sir?” She turned to Enji who was looking at the menu, “A Billionaire’s Coffee.” He didn’t even look at her.

“Alright,” she looked at us, “I’ll get your drinks and be right back to take your order.”

She left and we casually just sat there looking around at the decor.

“I like the low lights, it’s nice kinda cosy.” I talked out loud to no one, before I looked at Midoriya locking eyes contact, “perfect place for a date.”

He chocked on air and brought his arm to his face blushing stuttering out things I didn’t understand. I laughed a bit, enjoying the show before he calmed down when the waiter appeared.

“Alright, what are we getting?” She looked at us and all I did was look up at Enji, he sighed, “We’d like to try the Complete Fondue experience for four.” He tapped the plastic with his finger and she noted it, “in that exact order.”

She nodded again, “An exact copy of the full experience, now before I head out, does anyone want to add a lobster tail or any extra meats to their plates?”

“No,”

“No thank you.”

“No, I’m good.”

“No.”

“Alright then, I’ll be turning on the burners, they will get hot, please do not touch them.” She pulled out a small metal stand with a promotional flyer and placed it on the burners before she left.

“I’m excited.” I reached over under the table and took Enji’s hand and brought it back to my lap squeezing his bigger hand between mine.

His hand squeezed mine, I smiled up at him before looking down at his hand, callused, warm. Scars were present but hardly noticeable, I ran my thumb over his knuckles, losing myself in the patterns I began to draw, feeling myself fall into a feeling of nostalgia.

“Y/n,” I looked up at the sound, “Hm?” I hummed in response looking around.

“Are you fine?” Shoto asked his voice soft but his brows were furrowed.

“Yeah, just thinking about school and the internships.” I shrugged, “We’ve been through a lot with everything that’s happened, it’s hard to believe we’re just first year.”

“Hm.” Shoto nodded and I pulled a hand up and lates it palm up on the table.

“Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I see and the more we do, it kinda scares me,” I looked at a scar it ran from the side of my wrist to the back of my hand, it was a deep wound from my Internship, “But seeing everything also makes me realize,” I balled my fist up smiling, “There’s so much space for new hero’s to rise and it excites me knowing one day I’ll be out there fighting for a chance to be number one.”

“Ambitious.” I flinched at the waiters voice who slid the door closed as she entered, “You must be in a hero school then.”

“I, yes, I am.” I nodded and looked away.

“I’ve never heard of you, you must not be that well known. Everyone however would be able to notice our lovely new number one hero Endeavor.” She smiled and patted Enji who just gave her a side eye and she quickly pulled her hand away.

I let out a mix of a scoff and a laugh, “You must live under a rock, or be uncultured, I’m from UA, were our sports festival is streamed publicly almost everywhere throughout the prefecture and surrounding cities, not to mention I was in the news quite a few times with Endeavor and Pro Hero Hawks, I was on headlines and on front page covers of newspapers and magazines, if you can’t recognize me it really goes to show what kind of woman you are.” I made a face and she made a face back.

Before we started a stare down another person walked in, “Alright, here comes a hot pot, everyone be careful.”

As the second waiter was setting up the meal I couldn’t help but mumble to myself, “Bite me, it’s what rabid dogs do anyways.”

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After eating and Midoriya and I burning ourselves multiple times on hot cheese fondue we finished our desserts and started to head out.

We stepped out into the dark, the afternoon sun had set and the cities night life was crawling out into the streets, lights lit up outside patios, rooftops had flames lit lighting tables, tinted windows were lit up showing the chandeliers that hide during the day. Ladies in fancy dresses and men in suits and flashy attire. It was in that moment I realized how wrong our relationship is, I’m in UA, I’m only 16, sure the consent age is lower then that but, I, this is morally wrong in some eyes... I could ruin Enji’s career if anyone ever found out... I felt a sense of worry fill me. No one knew, I didn’t care before. So what scares me now?

“So! What are we doing tomorrow?” I looked at Enji and Shoto as we walked, Midoriya was unintentionally hidden by Shoto.

“It’s a surprise.” Shoto answered very bluntly and I squinted at him, “Very helpful.”

“How are Fuyumi and....” I paused the name leaving me and looked down, embarrassed, thinking, his name just couldn’t be Naruto because it’s pretty close to that anyways, “Natsuo! Heh! I remembered.”

“Fuyumi messaged me, they tried a curry at an Indian restaurant near the hotel, Natsuo also now holds the title for eating a plate of the spiciest curry in under an hour.” Shoto said flashing us his phone which had a very red smiling Natsuo holding a certificate and a $200 dollar check.

“That’s... impressive.” I was impressed, but it seemed like a painful thing.

I felt my phone buzz, I answered if, “Hello?”

“Hey y/n! It’s Fuyumi, I’d you don’t mind when you get to the hotel can you stop by the hotel shop and pick up something for indigestion or upset stomach, maybe heart burn?”

“Oh,” I smiled, “Yeah, I can do that, we’re on the way back about to get in the car, the streets are empty so we should be there soon, so, I’ll get it for you.”

“Thank you, sorry for the burden but I feel bad for leaving Natsuo while his stomach is hurting this much.”

“Don’t worry! I’m a hero, it’s what I do.” I smiled getting into the car as we reached it.

“Still, thank you y/n.” She sounds like she was smiling, I could feel it, in that moment how much she really cared for her family. It kinda warmed my heart in a way I can’t describe.

“Alright, see you then.” I ended the call and explained everything on the way over, Enji sighed and rubbed his forehead before pinching the bridge of his knows shaking his head. I smiled, noticing the edge of his lips twitch upwards a bit before he forced it down mumbling out Natsuo’s name and something I couldn’t hear.

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