#i remember for season 1 i thought the same thing about everything and actually put it in english audio

[machidielontheway]

i've found that for acting what makes it or break it for me is the acting in the voice. i think watching shows in my non-maternal language erases a bit of it : i just don't have the habit to hear when it verges from "when it's real".

but in french (i'm watching Lupin) i know why so many french shows i find not good / badly acted : because they don't fucking know how to act with their voice !!! it's sounds SO rehearsed or bland or fake like they're reading out loud and "giving it some characters" but it doesn't match 1:1 what they're acting with their body

[chefkids]

thoughts on this article: https://dnyuz.com/2024/06/29/the-bear-jeremy-allen-white-explains-why-carmy-daydreams-of-sydney/

Sorry but I refuse to believe that Carmy finds peace in Sydney because she's just such a wonderful coworker. His panic attack in Season 2 was about his relationship with Claire and his family, nothing at all work related. He was not thinking about "Wow Sydney has some serious cooking skills!" there. He thought of the first time her met her, and when she came back to him when he thought she was gone forever. He has also worked with the best chef's on this planet with far better skills than Sydney, many of whom were calming and supportive presence in his life.

In Season 3 the thing that sets him off is seeing an imagine of meeting Claire in his mind. Then he is reminded of his fight with Richie.

He tries to think of The French Laundry and then Noma to calm down. Then he tries to think of Nat at Marcus's mom's funeral.

And only after that when Sydney talks to him he calms down. He's always stressing about work, in that moment the trigger was Claire, not work, and the peace was Sydney. Not because she is helping him do his job or work, but because her presence brings him peace and pulls him away from what causes him anxiety, which is remembering Claire who is tied in his mind to so much family trauma.

You can't shoot down what was already written! Carmy took Claire to Sheridan Road and Post Office like UPS, those are both tied to Sydney. He made her Sydney's pasta that led to her coming to him. He had a far more intense and passionate moment with her under the table making promises of prioritizing her over his girlfriend, never letting her fail, promising to always be there for her, giving her the most thoughtful gift one could imagine. Far more than he has ever had with Claire.

So what he's trying to say is that they have this deep cosmic connection, intense passion, and she brings him peace and happiness and security but the only thing he could never possibly have is any form of physical attraction towards her? That Sydney can meet all of his emotional needs and work needs and share the same interests and goals and passions. But Claire will always win at the end of the day, in spite of the lack of peace she actually brings him and there being seemingly no actual shared interests between them, because he just wants to sleep with her? Like...

1. I don't buy that Carmy has absolutely no possible interest in Sydney in terms of physical attraction.

2. If that's genuinely the case, and this is all ending with her either leaving forever and Carmy giving up or staying as his calming sidekick while he's endgame Claire, it is basically putting Sydney in some sort of black woman savior trope for him whose purpose is to serve him and his story and his progress while remaining undesirable, while also simultaneously giving her nothing back because he can't uphold any promises to her cause he's too damn busy thinking of Claire.

If they wanted to keep them platonic they could have done so after Season 1 without constantly drawing comparisons between Sydney and Claire and making her everything he wants and needs except being ya know.... his white girlfriend.

[raayllum]

Anyway borrowing from the Rayllum relevant sections of my "arc 2 is about the pursuit of knowledge / knowledge as a burden" meta for s4 and s5 (minimized/condensed text is from previous meta) let's talk about S6

Season four in a lot of ways was the journey of

Mutual Love as Self Actualization: Part 1 — Uncertainty to Certainty (S4)

As previously noted, Callum starts out S4 at both a loss with the mirror, and still coping with the uncertainty and stagnation of his loss of Rayla. When Ezran reaffirms that Callum still loves her, all Callum can helplessly rely that he doesn’t “even know if she’s alive.” Things don’t really improve once Rayla shows up, either, even if we see the persistent thread of not knowing vs knowing being knit throughout their arc with one another.

When Ezran is trying to get Callum and Rayla to work together, he doesn’t tell them to set everything aside, or even harkens back to their good old days. He asserts their identities and says, “Don’t you remember who you are?” because to him — and evidently to Callum and Rayla, because it works — working together and helping each other has become a fundamental, core part of who they are as individuals. They are that interwoven with each other, and Rayla reflects that in 4x07 with, “Callum, you’re the 'destiny is a book you write yourself’ guy. No one can control you or make your choices for you” as well as what Callum offers up to her in 4x09 where we see the turning point in their prior uncertainty. Although they’ve both changed, they are fundamentally still the same people they were when they fell in love, and there is both comfort, sadness, and acceptance in that realization, where Callum says:

Mutual Love as Self Actualization: Part 2 — Certainty and Discovery (S5)

Upon reconciling once Callum has said what we knew all along — “I’m so glad you come back” — Callum and Rayla return to the castle, and their searches for knowledge become arguably more explicitly stated by the text. Their first scene together in 5x01 establishes that Callum wants to know the Ocean arcanum (“I thought it would be about controlling the tides or fighting the currents” thereby exerting control, which he desperately wants over himself post-S4) as well as Aaravos, whereas Rayla is seeking answers about her family: “If I can figure out how he put you into the cursed coins, maybe I can find a way to get you out.”

This is, of course, something we know she doesn’t trust Callum with yet, not wanting to burden him with her problems especially before she’s reached her own conclusion of what to do about it (to delay it for the good of the world) and we see that the certainty and forgiveness Callum found in 4x09 has more than carried over.

Opeli: Don’t you want to know what she was up to? Why she did all this?

And although very uncertain about opening up, Rayla still expresses certainty that she knows Callum could and can be there for her, if he wants to be — if he’s ready to be.

This is, after all, with both Amaya’s encouragement and Callum’s reassurance that 1) “You can tell me when you’re ready” and that 2) he does want to know from 5x01. Then, we see both their arcs in this way largely — or at least they would, in a perfect world — be resolved in many ways by their interaction later in 5x04:

Previously, we’ve mostly talked about knowledge, especially within the text of the show, as a positive thing. It is the foundational rock of a strong relationship, it can lead to positive self actualization, and it helps the heroes keep Aaravos from being unleashed. When you do not have enough knowledge or perceived understanding of someone (Claudia assumes Soren could never understand her, and Viren and Harrow’s relationship breakdown), your relationship accordingly deteriorates. When you share knowledge, and share experiences (Rayla to Callum about the coins, Soren to Elmer about abusive cycles), you can become stronger together.

But knowledge is not exclusively a good thing. It can also be harmful, or unwanted, or unwanted precisely because it’s harmful. It can bind you to deals or bonds you don’t really want, and once you know something, you cannot un-know it, whether about yourself or about others. And we see this most plainly in the story Archmage Akiyu shares about the prison ("I knew too much").

So if S4 is about beginning to navigate both in spite of and within uncertainty, S5 is about having the safety of that uncertainty stripped away, both in creating more of it, and in removing some of it. Namely, the Ocean arcanum.

He chased the Ocean arcanum because he thought, if Sky granted him potential and freedom, then Ocean would grant him control, but the truth was more complicated than that. While it did grant him control (the ability to break free from Finnegrin’s spell), it also granted him a rather hard truth he’d rather not know.

The first time he cites his poem about true tides and untold deaths, he is talking about his faith and trust in Rayla — the way he views her: “If she didn’t tell me, she has a good reason. […] I trust her. Unconditionally.”

The second time he recites the poem, it is about himself. The untold depths are within himself, are parts he is still trying to understand in full because they are uncomfortable truths. In many ways, Callum unlocking the Ocean arcanum is his version of Ezran’s 4x03 speech (see how we looped all the way back? 'Totally’ intentional I swear), that multiple things can be, and sort of have to be, true in order to gain new ground, even if there’s a part of you that wishes it could be simple.

Season six develops this theme, too, but it takes it and calls it Truth, and we see this reflected most notably in 6x06.

Mutual Love as Self Actualization: Part 3 — Certainty and Salvation (S6)

In season six, we see Callum build upon this certainty with Rayla by the way he remains emotionally open with her about his hopes and fears. After his 6x01 nightmare freaks him out, he runs right to her to receive support; when the guilt and fear gnaws at him in 6x03, he tells her the truth of what he did on Finnegrin's ship.

While the obvious facet of knowledge (truth) and salvation here is in 6x06, I also like to think it starts an episode earlier in 6x05. Callum wants to go along with the mission because he knows the quasar diamonds will be what they get in exchange whereas Rayla goes along with it because he's pushing for it (and well, helping people is always nice).

However, where Callum believes that the icy beast they seemingly have to slay is a monster, Rayla believes differently and hedges her bets on what she knows.

This is a great mini turning point in season six for a few reasons. For one, it merges the idea of truth and knowledge into one ("I know it's true") as well as emphasizing the concept of knowing something in your heart, which 6x06 will build on of "dark magic tears a hole in your spirit/heart that light can fill". It also clearly ties back to something that Callum knows he knows, which is that he trusts Rayla unconditionally (5x01). So he goes with it.

When Rayla does reach out to the behemoth, it's with more facets of knowledge: "I know you're in pain. I don't want to hurt you...", knowing the creature's name and the stories ("I know who you are"), and even in her lullaby:

(We'll come back to the lullaby for 6x06's relevancy as well). Once Rayla's kindness and compassion gets through, of her knowledge and seeing the truth of Esmeray's pain much like Ezran saw Zubeia's ("and the truth of you seeing that made it feel like less, like healing"), we return to how well Callum knows her and his knowledge about the trial ("You knew this was the reward"):

If I'd told you, you would've refused to go, because you never do anything for yourself.

To love someone is to know them, and to know them is (in these cases) to develop love for them. The same way that Rayla brings Runaan out of his grief and guilt induced darkness in 6x09 ("I'm your daughter and I love you") and recognizes the grief and guilt plaguing Esmeray, likewise, she represents and is Love to Callum.

He's gone from being uncertain about her survival, about expressing his love, all the way to looking to her for support and direction about the trials set before him:

Kosmo: Dark magic left a hole in you, but the Star-truth ritual can fill the darkness with light. [...] You must search your mind and heart for your one deep truth, the star within you. Then you must let that truth shine and fill the darkness. Callum: One deep truth, huh? Kosmo: Your deepest truth. [...] You must find the star within you, the one deep truth so bright it can fill the darkness.

As know, Callum's trial is still a struggle for him at first. But luckily Rayla's lullaby also foreshadowed the principle of looking inward rather than outward, too, and precisely what kind of answer and truth Callum is going to find.

Callum: I found my one truth.

His truth, his knowledge, his constant, his light... is love, his love, for Rayla and from Rayla. At the end of 6x06 in many ways, Callum is at his most self-actualized, freed from the taint of dark magic and paranoia about Aaravos' control... saved and allowed to become the best version of himself, a bright shining light. A star in his own right. Which is likewise why he expresses his truth before the episode is done. He did dark magic for her, but she's so much more than just darkness or desperation or sadness for him; she's light and hope and Love, too. She's his Constant, Deepest Truth. She's everything.

It's taken two and a half seasons, but he's ready to do more than just know it. He's ready to say it.

So he does.

[im-sleepdeprived]

Seasonal • Pt. 1

pairing: peter parker x reader

summary: inspired by the taylor swift song ‘peter’, you’ve known peter parker pretty much your whole life but after an incident one evening, you two become closer than ever

a/n: ahhhhh here is the long awaited ‘Peter’ inspired fic !!! (i changed the name obvs but you’ll get why i chose this one later) this is actually pretty slow (in my opinion, compared to what’s to come duh) but its cute and I really enjoyed writing it, i hope you guys enjoy reading. also TOTALLY feel free to tell me what you think and what you might like to see !! i always love some feedback

warnings: awkward teens lmfao (they’re such cutie pies), there’s some mention of injuries, but dw I made it funny, mostly building up for what’s to come later, fluff (for now lol) !!

masterlist, requests are open !!

There were few certainties in life. Tuesday followed Monday, Five plus five equals ten, and you had no shot in hell with Peter Parker. 

You’d known each other for most of your lives, going to the same schools, and growing up in the same neighborhoods, until eventually, sometime around the start of freshman year, he and his Aunt moved into your apartment building. 

You still remembered the excitement your little teen self had felt as you’d watched them move their things in. You remembered thinking his aunt looked like the sweetest woman in the world. And Peter…well he looked like the sweetestboy in your world. The boy of your dreams. 

Dreams you always kept to yourself of course. 

Dreams that suddenly, didn’t feel so far away, and for once in your life you felt like maybe, just maybe, you had the tiniest shot at having something with him. Something real. 

It all started one day after school. 

You’d had a long day. Longer than usual. 

Classes had been tough with exams coming up and you were stressed out from all the notes you had to make sure you had, to the homework that needed to be done, to the piles upon piles of books you needed to read, study, and memorize parts of. It was a lot. 

So, naturally, you weren’t really aware of your surroundings as you were walking home that evening. You’d been cramming in the library and you hadn’t realized how late it had gotten, but of course, that didn’t stop you from continuing your studying on the way home. With a book in hand, you made your way through the streets.

Of course, it was New York. So, of course, that wouldn’t fly. Faster than you could blink, someone had grabbed your bag and was running off. you stood there, mouth gaping. Fuck, your keys were in there and your parents weren’t home. How the hell were you going to-

“Here you go ma’am, sorry about him, he has daddy issues,” Spider-Man said to you with a wave of his hands. Spider-Man. You didn’t reply at first. 

“Y’know, you should be more of your surroundings,” he said gently this time. “Maybe put the book away for now? I don’t know, just a suggestion.” He absentmindedly rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged slightly. 

You’d know that voice anywhere. It was the voice you daydreamed about, the voice you heard across the hall, the voice you’d been hearing basically all your life. But that action, that little quirk, confirmed everything you were just thinking. 

“Peter?”

“WHAT?” The white eyes of his mask were blown wide. “No. Nuh-uh, I don’t even know anyone named Peter. Sounds like a douchey name if you ask me.”

You would’ve laughed if you weren’t so shocked. “Peter I know what you sound like,” your voice was soft so no one around you could hear. It was late and this particular street was pretty deserted but you figured you couldn’t be too careful. 

He was quiet for a moment before sighing and bringing both hands to rub at the face of his mask. He grumbled. “Ok fine, it is me. But Y/N you can’t tell anyone, I mean anyone, okay? Otherwise, this whole thing is ruined.”

You felt a pang in your chest. You knew you weren’t the best of friends or anything, but you’d known each other for a long time and you thought there was a certain respect that came with that. Of course you weren’t going to go around yelling out his secret. 

“I would never do that. Actually, I’m sorry I said anything, that was stupid. We can forget this ever happened. Thanks for the bag,” you held it up for emphasis, “I needed my keys.” You moved to walk past him but he grabbed your shoulder.

“Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to totally freak out on you it’s just…no one knows about this. And I don’t want them to know. It would complicate things.”

“Things like what? Like running around in a bright onesie and calling yourself a man when you’re barely a teenager?” You replied in a teasing tone, hoping he wouldn’t feel as bad that you figured him out so quick.

He laughed. “Among other things, yeah. What book are you reading anyway?” He asked, nodding to the book you still held in your hand and you wondered if he was trying to change the subject. 

You figured you’d let him. Holding up the book, you replied, “‘Biology: A Self-Teaching Guide’,” you smiled sarcastically. “It’s self-teaching because Mr. Harrington is shit at his job!”

Peter cackled. “I know exactly what you mean. You know, the other day he spent the last thirty minutes of class checking his fantasy football? Class is forty-five minutes!”

You shook your head, smiling slightly. “I wonder how he still has his job,” you mused. 

“Oh, that’s easy, no one is reporting him because no one minds. He lets every do as they  please so they all love him.”

“True.” You laughed. Some time since you’d started talking, you’d both started walking towards your building. 

“Are you walking me home now?” You held your breath. Obviously, he had every right to just swing away right then but…you hoped he didn’t.

“Well you obviously can’t be trusted to walk alone, honestly I really think that if I left right now, you’d open that book back up and walk into a lamppost.”

You threw your head back laughing. “Okay,” you held up both your hands in surrender, “fair enough.”

And while you’ve both known each other for a long time, you truly think that this walk was when you really clicked with Peter. He was funny, he was smart, and he was obviously the most selfless person you knew if he spent all his free time ridding New York’s streets of criminals without anyone giving him credit. 

When you reached your apartment building, you wished you hadn’t. You could’ve spent all night talking to him and youwere scared that once you walked through those doors things would go back to polite smiles and quiet ‘heys’. You didn’t want that. 

“Hey…if that ever happens again, and I’ll do my best to make sure it doesn’t,” he gestured to his suit, “but if it does and you lose your keys or something, you can always hang out at mine. If you want to of course.”

“You wanna hang out?” You asked confused

He seemed to have taken it the wrong way. “Oh! I didn’t mean to sound weird, I was just thinking-”

“Yes!” You blurted out, your face heating up. “I mean, yeah hanging out sounds cool. Maybe even…if I still have my keys?”

“Yeah, yeah that sounds great. Obviously I didn’t mean you had to be locked out to hang out but yeah…” He scratched the back of his neck again and you imagined his cheeks flaming up just like yours under his mask. 

“Cool,” you nodded. 

“Cool,” he nodded back. 

You two stared at each other for a while. 

“Well, I should…” You jutted your thumb at the door as your voice trailed off. At least he wanted to see you again. That meant something, right?

“Right. Yeah, of course. See ya later Y/N.” He waved and you returned it. 

“See you later Peter,” your hand flew up to your mouth. “Shit. Sorry, um, I’ll see you- I mean bye Spider-Man.” Idiot. 

You rushed to through the door, leaving a smiling Peter in your wake. 

You were psyched Peter wanted to hang out with you on more casual terms. It was all you’d dreamed of for as long as you could remember. You’re little crush on him dated back further than you could really remember, but you knew it started sometime back in kindergarten. So you were rightfully excited that things were finally progressing, you just weren’t expecting it to happen so soon.

Later that day you were sitting in your room when suddenly you heard a tap on your window. Peter, fully decked out in his Spider-Man suit, was perched on your fire escape. 

Your brows furrowed but you rushed over to let him in. “Um, hey? What’s up?”

“Oh nothing much, same old same old. You?” He said casually as if you’d known each other your whole lives. Well, you kinda had. But still.

You stared at him a bit before you heard a dripping noise. At first you thought it was rain. And then you realized it wasn’t raining, nor had it rained at all recently. You looked down to see blood dripping. From Peter. Blood was dripping from Peter onto your fire escape. Shit. 

“It’s okay. It’s not that bad honestly.” He said lightly, but you noticed the slight edge to his voice. It definitely was that bad. 

You wanted to freak out. You wanted to tell him to go to a hospital so he could get proper treatment but you had a feeling he wouldn’t listen. 

“Peter,” you said, your voice soft but urgent. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re the only one who knows. I wanted to see a familiar face right now and if I went to see anyone else it would take too much explaining,” he shuffled around on your fire escape, wincing as he did so. He finally settled, leaning his backagainst the railing and laying his feet in front of him. He ripped off his mask, “I’m sorry Y/N, I don’t wanna freak you out. This was just the first place I thought of and-”

“No no no. It’s okay! Better than you passing out in some alley somewhere.”

“Exactly, you get it!” 

You side-eyed him. “Y’know, I think you’re too enthusiastic for someone who looks like they had sex with a cheese grater.”

He chuckled. “Funny. You’re real funny, you know that. Sex with a cheese grater,” he mumbled, leaning his head back. He chuckled again. “That’s hilarious.”

“Okay….alright just…..” You worried your hands. You had less than no clue what to do. But you had to figure out something. Soon. Otherwise, you’d have a dead teenage boy on your fire escape and you really didn’t know how you would explain that to your parents, and you didn’t want to figure it out.

You held up your hands. “Wait here and I’ll be right back.”

“I can’t imagine where I might go right now, but alright.” You heard him mumble under his breath, his head lolling to one side. You would’ve sasses him right back if you were so worried. You had to admit, it was admirable how he still managed to cling to his humor even when he was so hurt. 

You ran to the shared bathroom in your apartment, making sure to keep quiet so as not to wake anyone. Things were already hard enough. 

You grabbed an old first aid kit (you’d always thought it was stupid and unnecessary to carry around but here it was, saving your ass) before making your way back to your room. You closed the door and locked it for good measure before crawling out of your window and sitting on your knees beside him. 

“Ok. I’m gonna need you to help me though, do you think you could do that?”

He nodded softly and you got to work. It was nerve-racking but you got through it. Peter helped a lot, explaining what needed mending, and what would be fine being left alone. “I heal faster.” He’d explained to you and you had no choice but to believe him. 

When you’d finished you went to the kitchen and poured both of you cups of lemonade. “You should probably be drinking water or tea or something but oh well.” You shrugged as you stepped out of your window again, handing him the cup and settling on the other side of the fire escape. 

“I prefer this.” He said as he took the cup from you. “Thanks.”

“No thank you,” you said in a serious voice. “For serving this city.” You placed your now empty hand on your heart and bowed your head in respect. 

“Shut up,” he said, but he was laughing. You laughed as well. “So how did the whole Spider-Man thing start? Last I remember you were just little Petey in the robotics club.”

“Still in the robotics club, but somewhere in the midst of that I got bit by a radioactive spider.” He went off, telling you the whole story and you listened with both ears, tuned into his every word. It was crazy to you that the boy across the hall, the boy you’d known since you were children, had been through all of this. Alone. Your heart broke a little for him at that moment and you were glad he finally had someone he could talk to about this, even if it was just you. 

“Wow.” You shook your head in disbelief after he’d finished. “Not really sure where you got the whole ‘I need to put on a suit and get out there!’ attitude after being bedridden from a spider bite for a whole day, but good for you!”

He let out a loud laugh. “Alright Ace, enough about me. Tell me something about you.”

“Ace?” You asked with a furrow in your brows. 

He shook his head smiling, “Think it suits you, don’t you?”

Your face lit on fire. You looked down at your hands, “Um, well there’s not really much. What do you wanna know?”

“Anything. What are you interested in, something you’ve never told anyone?”

You peered over the fire escape railing and looked up at the sky. “Stars.”

“Stars?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Stars. Constellations. They all have stories, they’re named after certain things. People used to use them as guides when they traveled! But it’s stupid, I mean,” you scoffed, “we live in New York. There’s no regular stars here, let alone constellations.”

He stared at you for a while and you stared feeling nervous. He probably thought you were weird for bringing that up, how fucking random to just start going off about stars, normals people are interested in sports, art—

He started nodding, “Tell you what, when I’m healed, which won't be long, we’re gonna go see some stars.”

Your brows furrowed together. “What?”

He chuckled at your expression, all he could think was how cute he thought you looked. “Yeah, you heard me. We’re gonna go see some stars. Consider it a thank you for helping me today.”

Your cheeks flushed. “You don’t need to thank me for anything Pete, I’d help you no matter what.”

Now it was his turn to flush. “Thank you,” he said in a sincere voice. “But fine. Just think of it as two friends stargazing together.” He grinned.

Friends. That sounded nice. “Wait I didn’t know you could drive?”

He grinned even wider before standing up. You followed his lead, making sure he didn’t hurt himself in any way. “Thanks for everything Ace, but I think that’s enough for now.”

He moved to jump off the balcony but you stopped him, “Wait! At least use the front door, everyone’s asleep.” 

He slipped his mask back on and quickly shook his head, “Thanks but May’s asleep and I don’t wanna risk it.”

You nodded. “Right. Well bye then, and if you need anything Peter, you know where to find me.”

“Ditto,” he said, moving to stand on the railing of your fire escape. He gave you a two-finger salute. “G’night Ace.”

“Goodnight Pete-” your hands flew up to your mouth and you had to hold back a scream as you watched him completelyfall backward off your fire escape. “What the fuck!” You whisper-shouted, moving to the railing just in time to see him swinging away. 

“Son of a bitch,” you whispered softly and you could’ve sworn you heard him laugh. 

“Peter there’s no way I’m doing that.”

“C’mon Ace, I do it all the time!”

“That’s not the same and you know it! Have you ever tried swinging around the whole city with someone else?”

He went quiet for a moment. “Well, not around the whole city per se, but…I’ve swung while holding someone!”

“How long?” You deadpanned. 

He looked down and mumbled something incoherent. 

“How. Long.” You repeated. 

“Like, around the block maybe?” He looked at you sheepishly. 

You scoffed, “Peter fucking Parker I can’t believe you're trying to get me to agree to letting you drop me from thousands of feet in the air!”

“Hey come on! If I wanted to kill you I wouldn’t ask for permission, I would just do it.”

You narrow your eyes at him and he raises both his hands. It’d been a week since the night on your fire escape and Peter was fully healed. He really did heal faster than average because when you’d asked him to see the wound, it had been completely gone. Not even a scar was left.

“Y’know, if you wanted me to take my shirt off Ace, you could’ve just asked.” He’d said with a boyish smirk. 

“You fucking wish dipshit.” You had shoved him away but you couldn’t help the little smile working its way onto your face. 

You’d spent time together after that night, walking to school together, Peter popping by after patrol if you were still awake to just hang out for a bit. It was great. Until now. 

Peter had decided it was time for him to make good on his promise to take you to see the stars and you were refusing. 

“Please Ace, let me do this.” He gave you a little pout making you bite your lip in consideration. He tried not to smile, he was winning and he knew it. 

Silence. And then, “Where are we even going?” Bingo. 

He didn’t try to hide his grin now. “You’ll see. I know a place, it’s perfect for something like this.” He approached you and his voice turned sincere. “And I promise I won’t drop you, trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

“How can I trust you when you just told me the furthest you’ve ever swung with someone was a block,” you grumbled, but you didn’t push him away when he moved to hold you. 

“Enough complaining,” he said as he wrapped an arm around your waist. “Arms around my neck Ace, hold tight.”

He suddenly pulled you in, clinging to you tighter than before and you had just started to think maybe this wasn’t so bad. But then he jumped. And you screamed. 

Your stomach fell and you kept thinking you’d hit the pavement, he’d swing too low, or maybe he’d accidentally run into a building he hadn’t noticed. But when none of those things happened it actually became sort of…fun. 

“I can’t believe I’m riding Spider-Man!” You screamed, thinking he wouldn’t hear you because of the wind but you were proven wrong when you heard him hollering with laughter. 

You smiled as you clung to him. You should have trusted him at the start although there were times when he would dip lower than normal and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought he was doing it on purpose because every time he did, you clutched him even tighter.

Soon, the ruckus of the city seemed to die down and you could hear the thwip of his webs clearer than before. It wasn’t long after that you were landing on a tall hill making you wonder just how fast he could get around with those webs. 

Peter set you down and you immediately missed being in his arms. But then you turned around. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered. You could see the entire New York skyline and it was stunning. This city really was beautiful, it wasn’t for everyone, but it would always own a special place in your heart. 

You heard Peter chuckle beside you before he placed his hands on your shoulders. “I know, but that’s not what we’re here for Ace.” He pulled you a bit, making your head lean back. And then you understood. 

“Oh my god,” you said, louder than before. The stars were glittering above you both, the sky like a sparkling black fabric shielding you both. “They’re real!”

Peter laughed again. “I know right?” 

You looked back at him. “Peter this is….I don’t even have words for how amazing this is. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

His heart melted at that moment. He gave you a smile so soft it reminded you of fluffy clouds and soft ice cream on a hot summer day. “You like it?” He asked almost as if he wasn’t expecting you to. 

You looked at him in disbelief. “Do I like it? Of course, I do! It's beautiful! How’d you find this place anyway?”

He shrugged, “Oh y’know, just found it while I was swinging along one day. But hey,” he said quickly, making you question if that was how he actually found this place. “Look I set up a place for us.”

You decided not to question him any further and you let him lead you through a few overgrown bushes until you reached a small clearing. There lay a small picnic blanket with snacks and drinks set up.

You look back at him. “Are you for real right now?”

His mouth falls open. “I’m sorry! I—I didn’t mean-”

You pulled him into a hug. “Thank you so much, Peter. I mean…wow, I just…wow.”

He held you even tighter. “You don’t need to thank me, honestly I’ve been waiting for forever to go on a date with you soreally thank you for even being here-”

You went slack in his arms and Peter had never wanted to beat himself up more than he did in that moment. You pulled away and looked up at him with questioning eyes, “Date?”

Peter blanched, you never knew someone could look so pale, yet be blushing so much at the same time. He was gaping like a fish, his mouth kept opening and closing as if words were supposed to be coming out, they just weren’t reaching your ears. 

“Because,” you continued, deciding you needed to step up and help him out a little, “a date sounds good. Really good. I’d just like to be aware of the fact that I’m on one.”

He looked at you with wide eyes. “Are you—are you sure? Cause I can just shut up and we can totally pretend that never happened.”

You laughed and shook your head. “I’m sure. If you are, of course.”

“Yes! I mean—” He scratched the back of his neck and sighed. “I’m sorry I just made this really weird didn’t I?”

You laughed again and gently placed your hands on his shoulder, making sure to look him dead in the eyes. “Peter,” you made sure he was listening. “S’not weird. At least, I don’t think it is. Okay, so we’re on a date! Love that for us. The onlything I would’ve changed is my outfit.” You looked down and pouted. “First time I’ve gone out with someone in my pajamas.”

“Well, I love it. I think you look beautiful.” He grinned. He seemed to have relaxed a little after your reassurances. 

You looked down to hide the blush forming on your cheeks. “Yeah yeah, save the flattery for the second date.”

“Will do.” He laughed and grabbed your hand. He led you to the picnic blanket and moved some things around. You realized he must’ve come here earlier to get things ready and your heart warmed at the thought. 

Peter set out the snacks and drinks and the two of 

“Here lay down,” he said to you after he’d cleared things out of your way. 

“God Parker, at least buy me dinner first.” You rolled your eyes dramatically but obeyed and laid flat on your back.  

“What do you think all that was?” He shot back with a grin. 

You shrugged as you settled yourself on the blanket and he moved to lay next to you. “More of a midnight snack.”

He laughed, “Noted.”

You turned your head towards him and nudged him a little with your elbow, getting him to look back. “So…what are we doing.”

He laughed again. “We’re stargazing Ace, that was kinda the whole point.”

“Oh, right, right.” You nodded and went quiet.

“What’re you thinking?” He asked. 

“Star stuff.”

“What do you mean ‘star stuff’?” He asked, voice full of poorly concealed laughter. 

“Like the fact that I don’t know shit about stars.” You admitted. 

He chuckled beside you before bringing his head right beside yours. “Okay see that really bright star with a bunch ofother stars crowding around it?” He pointed until you got it. 

When you nodded he said, “What does that tell you?”

“That it’s an extrovert?” You leaned back to look at him.

“No,” he shook his head smiling. “That’s Rigel. It’s a blue supergiant star in the constellation of Orion. And actually,” he shuffled a little closer. “See those three big stars all next to each other?”

You nodded, forgetting all the jokes and focusing on everything he was saying. 

“That’s Orion's belt,” he continued. “Each of those three stars is actually way bigger, and brighter than the sun.”

“Woah,” you looked at him wide-eyed. “Where’d you learn all this?”

“Oh y’know,” he waved a hand casually. 

You gaped. You propped yourself up on your elbows so you could look at him. “I absolutely do not know. First, I thought you were just Peter Parker. Then, I find out you’re also Spider-Man. And then, I find out you’re Peter Parker, Spider-Man, and also, extremely well-informed on star stuff!”

He laughed, There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me yet Ace.”

You nodded softly. “That’s true. We should change that.”

He looked deep into your eyes and you saw something like wonder in them. “Yeah?” He asked

“Mhm.” You poked him softly in the side. “Wanna know you, Peter Parker. All of you, from the dorky lego-obsessed-kid to the nerdy science genius who secretly fights crime.”

He grinned so wide and you swore it was brighter than any star in the galaxy. You were completely content with this being your view for the rest of the night. “Alright, come here,” he tugged you down making you squeal as he held you in his arms. 

“Hey, eyes on the sky Ace,” he said when he caught you staring.

You blushed and rolled your eyes, “Fine, whatever. I don’t wanna look at you anyway.” The complete opposite of what you were just thinking.

He smirked as if he knew too. “Sure thing babe. Now let me dazzle you with more star stuff.”

The ‘ride’ (if you could even call it that) back to your place was quiet and peaceful, and a part of you thought it was a tad bit longer than the way there

Peter landed softly on your fire escape but he didn’t let go of you just yet and you weren’t in a hurry to end the night. 

“So…we’re here.” Said Peter, his voice a bit muffled from the mask. You nodded and reached up, carefully working it off his head. 

“Thank you,” you said, hoping your voice conveyed the sincerity you felt. Everything about tonight was perfect and you hoped he felt the same. 

He smiled softly. “You already said that.”

You nodded. “Maybe. But it doesn’t hurt to say it again. I had an amazing time Peter.”

“Even though you were in your pajamas and you didn’t know it was a date? Well, not at first.” He gave you a questioning look, almost looking unsure. 

You grinned, “Especially because of those things. I don’t know,” you shrugged, “thinks it makes us unique.”

“And if wanted to do something that’s not so unique for the end of a first date?” He gulped. “Figured I kinda owed you something basic about tonight…unless you don’t want to?”

“Peter Parker, are you asking if you can kiss me?” You smiled up at him and he blushed all the way down to his neck. He mumbled something you couldn’t make out. 

“I’m sorry what was that?” You turned your head and leaned in dramatically and you heard him sigh. “Isaidifthatsokaywithyou.” He rushed out. 

You pulled away and stared up at him. “That’s more than okay with me actually.”

He didn’t waste a second. His hands that were resting lightly on your waist gripped you tighter and you grabbed his face, his mask that was in your hand falling to the floor. He captured your lips in an urgent kiss but it was somehow soft at the same time. It felt as if he’d just been waiting to get this chance and now he was savoring it and trying to memorize every part. 

You both pulled away breathlessly. His face was flushed and he looked so cute you had to lean in and give him a few softer pecks. He grinned so wide that you started to laugh. “Why’d you stop?” He asked. 

You laughed harder. “I can't kiss you when you're smiling so hard!”

“Ok ok fine I’ll stop!” He tried to keep a straight face but it didn’t last for 5 seconds before he was grinning again. He rubbed a hand over his face while you giggled at him. “Sorry if I’m super psyched I got to kiss you, I mean look at you.”

That got you to stop laughing and you felt your face start to heat up. You leaned over and landed a big smooch on hischeek. Peter turned pink. “Okay see, that was really great Ace but I really wanna kiss you.”

You smiled, “Then kiss me, bug boy.”

He started to lean in but you pulled back at the last minute, “Hey wait. Did we take longer on the way back than we took going? Or was that just me?”

“Oh that,” he nodded. “Air traffic.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Air traffic?”

Peter cleared his throat, “Look I’m the designated driver, or swinger, I know what’s going on. You don’t need to worry about it Ace, I’ve got it covered. Now I need your lips covering mine, right now.”

“Fine whatever,” you rolled your eyes with affection and leaned in. 

Things couldn’t be more perfect in your life. 

After you and Peter had made things official, he’d invited you over a few times to spend time with May, and you’d asked the same of him with your parents. Of course, your parents knew who Peter was, and May definitely knew who you were (she’d told you as much and you started to wonder if Peter’s crush might date back almost as far as yours. There was a chance) but it was different now that you two were together. 

“Is she gonna make you leave the door cracked?” You whispered as Peter led you by the hand through his apartment and to his bedroom. You two had just gotten back from school and you were going to work on your homework together. Homework which would mostly consist of the two of you making out on his bedroom floor. 

He scoffed. “No. She trusts us.”

“Mhm,” you pondered. “And that has nothing to do with the fact that you asked her to stop embarrassing you when I’m over?” You entered the room and Peter closed the door behind you, but not before he gave you a look. 

You shrugged and smirked a bit as you placed your bag on his floor and started pulling out your textbooks. “Did she say something to you?” He asked. 

Your smirk turned into a full-blown grin. “Y’know I’m actually starting to think she likes me more than you.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s started, amazing.”

“What’s started?”

“The two of you ganging up on me,” He grumbled which made you laugh out loud. You reached over and squished his face with one hand, your thumb on one cheek, and the rest of your fingers on the other. “You’re adorable when you’re grumpy.”

You felt him fighting off a smile under your fingers. “Adorable enough for a kiss?”

“You can always get a kiss from me, Petey.”

He gave you a serious look. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

You returned his seriousness with a solemn look of your own. “I hope you do.”

Just as he started to lean in, the door to his room burst open, making you jump away so fast you fell on your back. 

“Hey, kids!” You scrambled back up as May entered the room. “I just wanted to make sure you guys were…okay. Are you okay?”

Peter threw his hands up in exasperation, “May!” 

She held her hands out and quickly said, “I’m sorry! Sorry, but I also wanted to tell you I’m going out and I won’t be here. So be responsible.”

He rolled his eyes. “We’re just going to do some homework.”

She nodded, “Yeah okay, and I totally believe you!” She started inching towards the door. Placing a hand on the frame shesaid, “Pete, remember our talk.” Peter went red. But before he could stop her she went on, “Use protection.”

She flew out the door, leaving you wide-eyed and Peter as red as a tomato. It was quiet between you two for a moment before you decided on what to say. “Soooo….your aunt definitely thinks we’re fucking.”

Peter looked mortified. “Ace I am so sorry-”

“No, it’s okay! Fair assumption, I mean, we are teenagers so it's kinda of what we’re known for right now. Plus, she’s only looking out for us.”

“You’re not mad?” He asked worriedly.

“Why would I be mad Pete? She was actually super chill about it, my parents would’ve dragged you out of the apartment.” He laughed but there was something else on your mind. “Can I ask you something though?”

“Anything,” he answered quickly. 

You smiled, “Have you um—Have you ever…” You trailed off but you knew he understood what you were getting at.

‘OH! Well, no but yes?” You gave him a weird look. “So I mean like…I’ve done stuff but not all the stuff. Y’know?”

You nodded. “Have you…ever?” His voice was quiet as if he were afraid you’d shun him for even daring to ask. 

“Not all the stuff,” you answered simply. 

“Okay,” he looked down, unable to meet your eyes, and you weren’t quite sure what to say at the moment either.

“Do you think-” he still wasn’t looking at you as he tried to finish his sentence, “do you think we…we…Do you?”

“Yes. Probably.” That got him to look up.

“Really?”

“Well not right now obviously-”

“Oh of course not,” he cut you off quickly. “But like…eventually? Do you see yourself being with me like that? Trusting me enough?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Now it was your turn to avoid his gaze. “Do you? See yourself trusting me and…whatever.”

He laughed a little. “Yeah, I do.”

“Cool.” You nodded quickly and cleared your throat. “So I actually had a question about this science problem.” You held up one of the worksheets you were sent home with.

“Oh no, you’re not switching the subject that easily.” He gave you a knowing look.

“No,” you faked offense. “Can a girl not ask her genius boyfriend a science-related question?”

“No,” he said simply. “You still owe me a kiss.”

You rolled your eyes, “I think we’re forgetting what really matters here.”

“Me?” Peter suggested.

“Homework.”

Next thing you knew, he had tackled you and had you pinned you on the floor. 

“Wait! No stop!” You yelled when you felt his hands creeping up your sides. You’d made the mistake of telling Peter you’re ticklish and boy had he been using it against you. 

He grinned with triumph. He knew he’d won but that didn’t mean he wasn’t gonna milk it. “Are you gonna give me kisses?” He leaned over you, letting his nose brush yours as some of his longer curls fell onto your face. 

“I really like these,” you whispered as your hand moved up to play with them. Your tone was more sincere now, completely forgetting the game you were playing and completely focusing on Peter’s hair. It was getting a little longer than usual and you adored it. 

“Yeah? I’ve been meaning to get it cut but I haven’t had a chance. Between school and Spider-Man-”

“No! Don’t cut them please,” you begged, eyes suddenly wide in horror at the fact that he was even thinking of chopping off his beautiful curls. 

“Really? Didn’t know you liked them that much.” He gave you a boyish grin.

“I treasure them as if they were my own,” you said sincerely making him shake with laughter. “So you wouldn’t even be cutting your hair Petey, you’d be cutting our hair.”

He laughed again, “Fine you win! I won’t be cutting it anytime soon, but I’m gonna need you to hold up on your kissespromise.”

“Yay! I love you!” You leaned up to kiss him where he hovered over you but he pulled away. You pouted slightly, howdare he give you such a hard time about kisses and then not accept them?!

“You love me?” He asked quietly. You froze. Why did you have to say that? Sure you two had been together for a while now and you’d known each other for even longer but…what if he didn’t feel the same? What if you had just ruined everything?

“Um…” You tried to move out from under him but he kept his arms locked around you. You were stuck, there was nothing to do other than talk. “Look Pete, I don’t want you to feel weird-”

“But do you love me?” He insisted. 

You sighed and turned your head. You might not be able to get away but that didn’t mean you had to look him in the face while you embarrassed yourself. “Yes.”

“Good.” He leaned down until your noses were touching again, “Because I love you too.”

Your heart skipped a beat in your chest. “Really?”

He chuckled softly, “Think I’ve loved you for a lot longer than you’ve loved me, Ace.” He leaned down and closed the distance between you, finally getting that kiss he’d been after you for. 

“Now do a pose!” Peter yelled over as he squinted through his camera. 

You rolled your eyes, feeling shy all of a sudden. “Peter, we’re in public, can we please stop now?”

The two of you were taking an after-school stroll through Central Park. It was autumn now and the scenery was absolutely gorgeous and Peter had demanded to take pictures of you the whole time. School had started back up almost a week ago and already the two of you were facing the heat of your senior year.

“Oh come on,” he jogged back to you and threw an arm around your shoulder. “Gotta get used to me showing you off Ace,” he pressed kissed the side of your head. “This what it’s going to be like when we go to school together.”

“We already go to school together.” You smirked at him. 

He rolled his eyes dramatically. “You know what I mean Ace,” he squeezed your shoulder softly. “I mean when we go to Columbia.”

You looked up at him with a smile so wide there was no way you could hide it. “I know,” you said softly. “I can’t wait.”

“Me either.” He smiled back. 

The two of you had discussed schools and where you’d be going. You spent a lot of your time during summer going overthe pros and cons of different universities and settled on going to Columbia. Of course, you weren’t just going for each other, but that was definitely a perk. 

It was perfect, really. Peter was planning on majoring in biophysics (a major you’d told him you thought was created just for him, two of his best subjects combined) and they had the perfect courses for that, not to mention their photography classes. He’d done a ton of research on them already. It was a hobby of his you’d learned about shortly after the two of you had gotten together, and you had to admit, he was really good. And he was only getting better.

And you were planning on majoring in Journalism, with a minor in English. You and Peter had a joke where he’d be making the groundbreaking scientific discoveries and you would be writing the award-winning articles about it. 

“I know you’re gonna make me sound smart,” he’d said smugly. “And sexy.”

You’d laughed at him. “Peter, how am I supposed to make you sound sexy?”

“I don't know, but as an amazing writer, that’s for you to figure out Ace.”

“I’m not a journalist yet.”

He winked. “But you will be.”

You bit your lip at the memory. You had this small fear (or silly as Peter had put it when you’d voiced it to him) that you wouldn’t get into Columbia. You weren’t even worried about Peter, you were pretty sure he’d get into every school he’d enrolled in. The boy was a genius after all. 

“Hey,” he said softly. He stopped walking, pulling you to a stop as well. Pulling his camera strap over his head, he stood in front of you and grabbed both of your hands. You looked down. 

“Uh uh,” he shook his head and tsked as he moved one of his hands to hold your chin between the knuckle of his index finger and his thumb. “Look at me,” he said and gently pulled your head up. “I know what that look means.”

You shook your head a little. “Means nothing. What do you mean?”

He gave you a sad smile. “I don’t like when you think like that y’know. I don’t want you upsetting yourself.” You didn’t answer so he continued. “Fine. It’s just up to me to distract you then.” He pulled away to grab one of your hands, intertwine your fingers together, and start walking again. He started to swing them back and forth dramatically. 

You giggled, which made him smile. His plan was already working. “Oh, by the way, I’m taking you out tonight.”

“What?” You asked. You didn’t remember making any plans for tonight.

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m gonna pick you up and we’re going to our spot. I was thinking around 10.” Your ‘spot’. The place where Peter had taken you on your first date, where you hadn’t known it was a date at first and had shown up in your pajamas. The two of you had kept going back since that initial night. Most of your summer nights (and sometimes early mornings and even afternoons) were spent up there, gazing at the stars, and talking about your futures. That place had grown to mean so much to the both of you and it held the sentiment of more than one of your firsts together. 

“Are you sure you won’t be busy, y’know with Spider-Man or school or something?” You looked up at him questioningly. Of course, you wanted to spend time together but you didn’t want him worrying about cheering you up so much that he slacked on his own stuff. 

He slapped a hand on his chest and feigned offense. “I’m sorry, what is this I’m hearing? You don’t wanna hang out with your boyfriend Ace?”

“No of course it’s not that,” you laughed and shoved him lightly. “I just don’t want you feeling like you need to spend time with me when you have so many other responsibilities.”

Peter laughed and shook his head. “No way. You can’t seriously think like that Ace.” He gave you a side-eye and sighed. “Maybe you really aren’t smart enough to get into Columbia.”

“Peter!” You shrieked and slapped his shoulder while he hunched over with laughter. You couldn’t help it, you joined him. 

Once he’d calmed down he straightened himself back up and looked at you with such adoration in his eyes, you nearly melted. He grabbed one of your hands and brought the knuckles up to his lips. “You know I’m only joking Ace, you’redefinitely getting in. In fact, they’re probably getting your place ready as we speak.”

You threw your head back and laughed. “Pete I haven’t even applied.”

“Exactly! You’re so amazing, you don’t even have to apply, they totally want you.” He wiggled his brows suggestively making you snort. You shoved him forward to continue your walk. “Enough about school for now,” you looked at him. “You said we’re going out tonight?”

“Oh yeah,” he grinned at you and you saw the nerdy part of him he tends to be a little insecure about. You’d told him multiple times it was your favorite part. You absolutely loved it when he started ranting about something he loved. “So there’s some new-” He shook his head quickly. “Actually, I’ll keep it a surprise and tell you when we’re there.”

You gaped at him, about to demand he tell you right now what he was about to say but before you could get the words outhe was positioning you infant of a tree bursting with different shades of orange, red, and yellow. New York really was beautiful in the fall. 

“I need some more pictures for my portfolio,” he said as he backed up a few steps. “Also, I’m loving today’s outfit.” He winked at you. 

You looked down. You weren’t wearing anything special, just a sweater, a pair of soft, baggy jeans, and some Converse.You were pulling down your sleeves when you realized what he meant. It was his sweater. You grinned, “Fine. A few more, and then you’re done.” You waved a finger at him. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He muttered and snapped a few pics. He pulled the camera away for a moment. “Stop looking so grumpy Ace, c’mere.” He walked toward you and grabbed your hand. He started leading you onto the grass which was completely blanketed in colored leaves. “I need you to lay down.”

“Okay, this is getting ridiculous.” You held your hands up. 

“Wait, no. Hear me out, Ace. I need to share my artistic vision.” You rolled your eyes but that didn’t stop him. “I’m gonna have you lay down in the leaves, look how bright and pretty they are! You lay down, let your hair down and spread it out a bit, and smile!” He punctuated his sentence with his own smile. 

You stared at him for a bit before grumbling, “You are so lucky I love you.” Sighing, you moved to lie on the ground in front of him while he grinned above you holding his camera eagerly. “Y’know the only reason I’m so okay with this isbecause this is your sweater.”

“S’alright,” he casually waved a hand as he checked something on his camera screen. “You can have it, it’s yours now.”

“What?”

“Well it’s been on the ground of Central Park, I sure as hell don’t want it.”

You burst into laughter. You didn’t even realize he was taking photos until you opened your eyes to see his camera lens in your face. After a few more clicks and him instructing you on some different poses, he leaned back and held out a hand. You ignored him and pushed yourself onto your feet, dusting off your clothes.

When you looked back at him, he was looking at you with a hurt expression and you almost felt bad for rejecting his hand. “You said you don’t want anything that’s been on the ground of Central Park.” You joked. 

Next thing you knew he had you in a hug, holding you tight. “I’ll always want you, Ace.”

He pulled away, “No matter what dirty part of New York you just came out of.” He tried to kiss your cheek but you shoved him away. 

“Absolutely not!” You yelled and started running away from him. 

“Wait Ace, come back.” You could hear him behind you laughing, as he chased you. You knew logically, with his superpowers and all, he could absolutely outrun you if he felt like it. And it seemed like he felt like it. 

After about a minute of chasing you, he started gaining speed. Next thing you knew, he had picked you up and he was dragging back to the ground with him. 

“Peter let me go,” you tried to shove him away, but it was no use, the boy had an iron grip. 

“No. We’re gonna be gross together.” He rolled around a bit in his spot for emphasis. 

You laughed at him. “You are such a weirdo.”

He grinned at you and this time succeeded in kissing your cheek. “Maybe. But I’m your weirdo.”

You rolled your eyes. “Thank god for that, I don’t think anyone else could handle you.”

He kissed your lips this time. “I don’t want anyone to handle me. Just want you.”

“Good, 'cause you’re stuck with me.”

“So what’s the special thing you couldn’t tell me about until now?”

You were currently lying on your back, with Peter’s arm under your head as the both of you gazed at the sky. 

“Well, it’s nothing crazy, but there’s a new star I wanted to show you.” He replied, which made your brows furrow in confusion. “New star?” You asked. “How the hell can there be a new star?” You gasped, “Oh my god did Orion knock a girl up?”

Peter laughed beside you, “No. No, okay so, there are these things called seasonal constellations.”

“Alright,” you nodded as if you had any idea what he was getting at. You had learned a lot about astronomy (or star stuffas you two had taken to calling it) since your first night here with Peter, but he still had some things on you. 

“Basically, stars are always in the sky, right? But we can’t see them because of the Sun. If it weren’t for the Sun, everyone would be able to see all the stars, all the time. But because the Earth is always moving around the Sun, the Sun’s position on the celestial sphere changes.”

You give him a confused look and he laughs before explaining some more. “So the Sun is on one side of the sky during summer, okay? During that time certain stars are super vibrant at night. And then when it’s winter, it’s on the oppositeside of the sky, giving some other stars and constellations their time to shine, and during this time, you can’t see the summer constellations as much, or at all.”

“Oh, so the Sun is kind of their reverse-spotlight.” It was starting to click for you. 

“Yeah exactly! The darker the sky is the more they shine.”

“Hmm,” you considered his words for a moment. “I dunno the Sun kinda sounds like an attention whore to me.” Peter laughed out loud but that didn’t stop you. “I’m serious! Who does she think she is? Stealing everyone’s spotlight but never dimming her own!” 

“Ace we’ve talked about this, come on.” He gave you a pointed look and you huffed. “What did we say?”

“Personifying the stars does nothing but hurt my own feelings,” you grumbled. 

“Because they don’t have any.” He finished for you. 

“Whatever.” You shoved him softly but they only made him pull you in closer. “So tell me about this new star.”

“Alright so, do you see that?” He leaned his head closer to yours and pointed up toward a bright star you hadn’t reallynoticed before. When you nodded he continued. “That’s the brightest star in the constellation of Andromeda. Andromeda is an autumn constellation.”

“Wait I know that name, we learned about this story in English. She’s from that old Greek myth with Perseus and Poseidon.”

Peter nodded. “Her mom was bragging she was more gorgeous than the sea nymphs, who didn’t like that and snitched to Poseidon. When he got mad, her father asked Zeus for advice and Zeus said the only way to get Poseidon to back off would be to sacrifice his daughter.”

You finished. “And then Perseus saw her, immediately fell in love, slayed the beast, and saved her. Then they got married.” You made little jazz hands, “Hooray for happy endings.”

He laughed before saying, “Wait, wasn’t she engaged to her uncle?”

“Yup. Perseus killed him too.” Peter made a weird face which made you giggle. “All Greek myths are kinda…off like that.”

“That’s one way to put it,” he mumbled. “But yeah, that’s her constellation. And Perseus,” he shuffled around so he couldpoint to another cluster of stars. “He’s right over there.

“Is his a seasonal constellation too?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Perseus is an all-year-round constellation. You can see him whenever. There are certain timeshe shines a little brighter, but for the most part, he’s always there?”

“But she isn’t?” You asked, referring to Andromeda.

Peter shook his head again. 

“Wow. All that and they don’t even get to spend their eternity together.” You said in a soft voice. 

“What do you mean? I thought it was romantic?” Peter replied.

“It is, in it’s own way. I just mean, she’s only around for a few months every year. And look how far apart they are, to us it seems like nothing, but up there, they’re probably galaxies away from each other.”

“Okay,” he nodded beside you while he considered your words. “But think of it like this, she’s actually up there all year round, she’s only visible to us a few months a year.”

“That’s true.” You smiled. It was sweet of him when he listened to your little stories and added his own thoughts, not just brushing you off. Your little saying from before, however, he had made up and constantly reminded you of ever since one night went a little too far; Peter had told you that actually, not all the stars in the sky were alive, in fact, a lot of them were dead but we just didn’t know because their lights were still shining for us (cue a long conversation of him explaining light years and regular years and how they affect what we see in the sky). That had made you start sobbing, the first time you’d cried in front of him actually. 

In his defense, Peter had handled it quite well. After his initial shock, he comforted you and tried to cheer you up by telling you to think of it as their final act, one last ‘look at me’ before they extinguished. That hadn’t really cheered you up but you had tried for him, after all, he couldn’t have known giant gas balls in the sky would hurt your feelings so much. You hadn’t known either. 

“As for the distance between them,” he continued. “I’m sure they have something figured out, like a tin can telephone. Or FaceTime.”

You laughed and pushed out of his hold, maneuvering yourself so you were looking down on him. 

“Hey Ace,” he whispered with a large smile on his face. 

“Y’know something Peter Parker? I really really love you.”

His smile grew wider. “Yeah?”

You nodded, your face lit up with its own cheesy grin. “Yeah.”

“Tell me again.”

“I’ll tell you however many times you want.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

If only it were that easy.

read part two

‘seasonal’ taglist: @keira-kaz2y5

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: 7x4 and 7x5 stills in episode order???

When the two separate synopses were released for 7x4, I wondered how 9-1-1 was going to fit everything into the episode that was released via the BTS stills but then I realized they wouldn't be able to especially since the length of each one (without advertisements) is only 42 to 45 minutes. Also, it appears there will be three main storylines, i.e. Athena and Harry, Hen's life changing news and Buck being bothered and bewildered.

After considering all of the information that's been released, a few days ago, I figured the stills of Buck and Eddie in Buck’s loft, the ones of them talking in the firehouse gym and the one of Eddie and Bobby's conversation wouldn't be included in 7x4. Additionally, I remembered the way 3x5 "Rage" ended with Buck and Eddie still on the outs and they didn't reconcile until the end of 3x6 "Monsters" when Buck made Eddie talk to him. With OS recently commenting on someone's IG post about how the two pictures of Buck and Eddie in the loft are from 7x5, it added confirmation to my analysis.

Since I'm a visual person, I like to see things in their totality instead of in increments the way the BTS pics have been released. Therefore, I've put all the stills together in a way that IMO, could be how they'll play out during each episode and there's one picture of Buck by himself that was released but I believe it deals with something else. I've included it at the end because I'm going to do a separate post on it.

Before I delve into this, here's my UNPOPULAR OPINION. I ship Buddie and only Buddie but I have to admit, I'm not really excited about this storyline because IMO, the audience has seen it before in 3x5 and 3x6 when Eddie was temporarily partnered with Lena (post linked here). Sure, he didn't leave the 118 but Eddie did have a new work partner who Buck was clearly not happy about. Also, even though Eddie didn't tell Buck about her, it was evident by Buck's reaction, he was in fact jealous since he thought he was being replaced and it seemed to be part of the reason why he filed the lawsuit (not the only reason but part of it). Reminder, he was ok with being the Fire Marshall until he heard Lena call Eddie's name in 3x4 then once he saw her, he asked Bobby, "You replaced me?"

At this point, in six years, I hoped Buck and Eddie would be at a place in their partnership where they can actually discuss things like adults instead of Buck lashing out. Please don't misunderstand me because I get it, Buck's worried about being abandoned again so it's understandable and this time he doesn't have anyone to cling to. But if they would let him go back to therapy like he went on his own in season 4, maybe he could spend time working on himself and this storyline could have been avoided. Will I change my mind before Thursday... honestly, I'm not sure.

Back to the regularly schedule program...

7x4 "Buck, Bothered and Bewildered"

Based on the look on Buck's face in the stills from them at Air Rescue, IMO, it's likely this scene could happen first because he seems to be bothered and bewildered by how close Eddie and Tommy are. Hopefully there's a scene before this one that explains how they became fast friends but it's also possible it'll be another scenario where Eddie magically contacts Tommy or vice versa and they start hanging out but the audience won't see it the same way we didn't see how Eddie magically got M's phone number? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Full disclosure: I don't trust Tommy Kinard and I've already posted about my reasoning (linked here) and I may elaborate on it but I really don't want to because I'd rather not focus anymore of my attention on the character.

Buck's face in the stills below while he's at the firehouse, appear to be hopeful like he got his "Eddie" back but when he sees him walk away, he gets that sad look in his eyes like he's being left behind again. That's why IMO, it happens before the basketball court scene but after them being at Air Rescue.

I tried to put the pictures below in order but since there's no context for when some of them happen, I added them where I thought they should go. Also, since Buck's bag is still on his shoulder in the third picture with him holding the basketball, I figured it happens before they start playing. Maybe Chimney hands it to him and he looks at Eddie and Tommy like him and Chimney are going to win the game.

IMO, Buck will have a conversation with Maddie before the end of the episode and that's when JLH's leaked script will come into play. Also, I believe Chimney will be the one to tell Buck he's acting irrationally then he'll ask him if something else might be going on. Reminder, he's going to be on the court with them and he'll witness the event.

It appears 7x4 will end with them still upset with one another just like 3x5 ended with them not talking.

7x5 - "You don't know me"

I've already completed a post on the title of the episode (linked here) but I do believe multiple people will say, "You don't know me" throughout the episode, including Eddie possibly saying it to Tommy.

When the episode begins, Buck and Eddie still won't be communicating just like they weren't in 3x6. Also, since there aren't any stills that show Tommy and Eddie discussing an available job position at Air Rescue, the only information that was made available came from one of the promos that included Bobby telling Eddie, "I can't tell you how to feel about this job, only you can do that" so it appears Eddie's going to be presented with the option to leave the 118 again either at the end of 7x4 or the beginning of 7x5 but I think his conversation with Bobby will happen at the beginning of 7x5.

Now, ever since TM (showrunner) released the two pictures below in advance of season 7, they've always perplexed me and it's mainly due to the looks on their faces, more so Buck's because he doesn't look angry or frustrated, he just looks tired like he's retreating or giving up. Initially, I didn't speculate on the pictures because I had no idea what was going on and I'm still not sure but based on the things that have been released regarding the episodes, IMO, Buck will apologize just like he did in 3x6 followed by him telling Eddie that he'll have his back if he wants to leave the 118 and go to Air Rescue. Reminder, the last time Eddie left in 5x10, he told Buck in front of Hen and Ravi but the audience only caught a glimpse of Buck's reaction.

I believe the stills below will happen towards the end of the episode and it will be similar to their conversation that happened in the firehouse in 3x6 with a little bit of the 3x9 kitchen scene thrown in. My reasoning is because they're at Buck's loft and Buck will be sitting alone probably pondering what he should do next since it'll be a strong possibility (for him at least) that Eddie will leave and he'll have to find a new partner.

I think Eddie will say something similar to the things he said in 3x6, "I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again" but this time it'll be different and more along the lines of how they talked in 3x9 (related post linked here).

This is where their dynamic seems to change because unlike 3x9, Eddie's not leaned against the counter, he's actually touching Buck's shoulder and his waist the same way he did in 3x1 during Buck's surprise welcome back party but they're the only two present 👀.

When I saw the picture above, I had an immediate reaction to it because it reminded me of something the audience has seen before. I'm not going to include my thoughts on it in this post but I will do a separate one about it.

The point of this post is to illustrate with the BTS stills how the scenes in the next two episodes with Buck and Eddie could play out. Will they finally take the leap at the end of 7x5 and become a CANON couple or will the show continue to delay the inevitable? Only the showrunner, writers, producers, actors and actresses know the answer to that question. Hopefully, they will start their romantic relationship because it's been six years and there's no reason to keep delaying it.

[bugeater77]

Nandermo things u probably forgot about

not in any order(i wrote them whenever i remembered them)

(scroll down for images, the ones pictured are highlighted) - Nandor holding guillermo up to make him feel like he is flying multiple times (quite possibly nandermo hug)

During the simon the devious episode where nandor once again takes him flying, they hold hands (last image)

Nandor telling guillermo to stay by his side until he falls asleep in the curse episode, then going to grab his hand but stopping (5th Image)

"you'll probably have to take it in the waist and out the shoulders" - guillermo knowing Nandor's exact measurements

Nandor getting so frustrated while talking about the other vampires wanting to kill Guillermo that he kicks and destroys a box

"take a picture of me having fun and then send it to guillermo so he knows how much I do not miss him" - nandor

Guillermo DROPPING EVERYTHING ON THE GROUND when he hears about nandor's engagement

"it's not gonna last." -Guillermo SHIT EATING GRIN after realizing that gale and nandor are not gonna be together

Guillermo PUTTING HIS ARM AROUND NANDOR AFTER THE GAIL EPISODE he thought he had a chance :( (4th image)

Sean calling Guillermo Nandor's boyfriend and lazlo not questioning it not one bit

pulling guillermo back way before he was supposed to after trying to use him as bait for the sire

this was also while he was shaking his money maker if i might add

like the second he did it...

entire scene where Nandor tries to convince guillermo to come back from celeste

ENTIRE HOMOEROTIC FIGHT SCENE

might i mention that nandor obviously thinks guillermo fighting him is hot??!

Guillermo gripping nandor plushie after he leaves (3rd image)

Guillermo has silver lined seatbelts in his car, meaning he was planning to rescue nandor for a while

"traveling the whole world with my nand- master" - guillermo

ermmmmmm glitter portrait ?!!

Nandor wishing to be human the SAME AMOUNT that guillermo wishes to be a vampire, seeing him as an equal

"my furry little friend" - nandor

Marwa, who likes EVERYTHING nandor likes, kissing guillermo all over his face

The wwdits cast interview about nandermo, which to me feels like a deep extreme very canonization

Nandor's pure jealousy after finding out about guillermo becoming a vampire

Him waiting for SO LONG outside of panera bread

Going to guillermos house to look at his baby pictures

talking about his goth phase with his mom...

"if i'm lying, kill me now" - nandor

Nandor being so upset and holding guillermos body after thinking he was dead

Nandor grasping guillermos sweater

speaking out against the baron to keep guillermo safe, which if you watch season 1 again you'll see that he is TERRIFIED of the baron

so excited to talk about guillermo killing vampires.... wtf is wrong with u nandor but we're not gonna get into that

"I will fix"

PUTS ON GUILLERMOS CAPE

he is so excited to kill derek, not to turn guillermo human, but literally just to kill derek out of jealousy

Nandor's face while guillermo is talking about his love life(second image)

Guillermos face after Nandor turns Gail into a vampire (first image)

guillermo hammering the door as hard as possible to wake nandor for his super slumber.

duh nandor knowing every part of Guillermos thank you card

The entire last episode actually?

theres absolutely more but this is all i remember just from my brain

(new additions) In another cast interview, Kayvan Novak says “I think he’s coming to the realization that his type is Harvey Guillén flavored.” about nandors type

Nandor makes guillermo spin around in his wedding cape

Nandor says he got the idea of having a wedding ever since him and guillermo "watched the wedding planner on that rainy sunday together"

ok listen closely, the wedding planner is about a woman planning a wedding falling in love with the groom causing him to leave the bride

he did NOT CARE WHO HE WAS MARRYING. BUT HE KNEW HE WANTED GUILLERMO TO PLAN IT FROM DAY 1

[salamisatos]

late to the party?

I recently finished Xena's first season and it's the first time I'm rewatching it since I was a teen. And I'm just overwhelmed. I finished "Is there a doctor in the house?" last night and spent my whole day thinking about the episode and the season as a whole.

The thing is, I missed tv so much without even realizing it. Halfway through the season it hit me that we did used to have mid-season finales and the storyline would go a certain way to 1) give us a twist or 2) plant the seeds for the finale. What a joy, truly.

Anyways, from what I could remember the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle was never just implied but I thought they had only started to add more things in later seasons but it's so clear that this build up starts as soon as season 1. It was a very pleasant surprise, actually.

The start of Gabrielle's hero journey is breathtaking. I love a good "young and naive sidekick that tries to keep their heart pure even after witnessing the horrors of the world" trope. She starts like that and it's so painfully clear how much Xena wants to protect that and at the same time in later episodes we also see how much she respects Gabrielle's worldview. I also love that when she goes back home to figure herself out after freezing facing a dangerous situation it's 100% her choice. It was an amazing choice to put this moment right after she starts becoming more and more competent in battle, taking more care of herself because I feel like it was such a turning point for her. It's like in that moment she fully understood how high the stakes were and it's heartbreaking to see Xena come to the realization that she can't help Gabrielle with that. Ugh, I love it.

Speaking of Xena, I love how through the season we see her getting more and more fond of Gabrielle but really keeping her at arms length because she thinks she's not a good person. They are always doing things kind of separately, mostly Gabrielle staying behind and what not. I also love how this power trip and bloodlust she gets into feels almost like an addiction and it's such a painful struggle. She's trying so hard and Gabrielle is so ready to vouch for her, to absolve her of all her wrong doings, even us as audience feel so much in the way she's trying to do what's right and then bam they hit us with Callisto.

AND IT'S SO GOOD! like the literal personification of everything she did wrong. and they show us in such a nice way how much Xena understands and accepts that what she's doing is basically the bare minimum. She's not going to be absolved of anything, she's doing what's right because it's the right thing to do because she doesn't want that pain and suffering anymore and not because people will cheer and forgive her on the spot. She won't cheer and forgive herself on the spot.

It blows my mind how she's as caring as she's tough. I feel like often in media people still struggle to balance this line with the "strong female character" and here I felt it was done so naturally. In the last episode we see her using so many of her battle techniques but this time to help heal people. People she doesn't even know. We see her so practical, rationally teaching medicine as we know it to Hippocrates lol but then it all comes crashing down so painfully when Gabrielle gets injured. Like, that's her guide, her northern star, her partner and best friend. The scene where she's trying to get Gabrielle back is just so so so strong. She's like a cornered animal, no one is going to help her, she's at her most vulnerable and everything is so raw and desperate it truly took my breath away.

I don't think that's when she realized she really loved Gabrielle, I think she's known that for quite some time at this point but it was the first time she actually had to face what it would be like to really lose her and it was the worst thing that has ever happened to her.

Anyways I don't even know if I'm making sense, I just felt a lot of things and decided to let it out. I just love them so much it's crazy. And they love each other so much it's even crazier.

[cleabellanov]

Jet-Skiing through identity: A deep dive into Mobius M. Mobius (part 4)🛥️

"And I'm yours but you're not mine" (Say Don't Go)

That's Mobius in season 1, because from all we know, he was the one to fall first. A fall that, just like domino pieces, results in a beautiful union of...well, everything.

But now, in season 2, his love is finally reciprocated. He showed Loki something they hadn't seen in themselves. And not only he loved them, but proved to Loki why they're deserving of that love as well. And now that he is finally appreciated and seen by the last person he was expecting, he also gets the insight he never knew he was looking for. This is like always running from something right into the chasm, until someone takes your hand and makes you stop. Even if it means facing your fears.

Open first episode of season 2, when the entire Loki legion was on the verge of a heart attack waiting to see what will happen. (That's actually me, I think I'm not alone). Those were crazy times indeed. Now, to our Mobius: a relative present version of him, not the one that didn't recognize Loki. That was scary. His first line is:

<<Hey, everything you've been doing is wrong, and all your gods are dead. How are people gonna take that?>>

I interpret this as his own thoughts and feelings projected on the collective. It's true for them, but it's relatable to Mobius.

And after all, why would everyone at the TVA believe all this time? The same reason as why we do it: we want to: that's where it all starts. And for someone like Mobius, who didn't believe in himself, it was much more logical to believe in the time gods. Putting the blame on fate takes the burden off your shoulders. But no burden, no glory. Few of them had guts to admit. But even indirectly, Mobius did (and has been for a while).

Backing the argument that he cares about Loki, and that he fell first, his reaction to hearing his name from Casey is immaculate.

He immediately tries to figure out a way to locate him. He might take a more "slow, deliberate approach", but not when he knows people he cares about are in danger. Not when he can still help.

Then, to X-5's attempt to make him feel bad about his spot on the original timeline, he responds with a neutral approach, not letting such things get to him. He even goes to explaining why jet-skis are so cool. This is something that shows how passionate Mobius can be about the things he likes. I don't think he would do this if he wouldn't be provoked in some sort of way, because the total absence of interest from others can kill a spark pretty quick. But he doesn't let it go just because no one around him sees jet-skis as important as he does. I love him for it.

His pure care for Loki and the way he comforts them the best he can is also very important in this episode. Mobius does his best to calm Loki down, trying to see the situation from an outside point of view so it can be solved efficiently. He's there, he doesn't let Loki down, and we know he would never; "Okay, you wanted time to think, so let's think." - as in let's think together, you're not alone.

Also, when Loki rushes to find Sylvie so they can fix what is happening, Mobius slows him down. He knows Loki wouldn't take the time to take care of themselves, so he does it for him, knowing exactly how much to insist, and that the timeslipping can't be let out if control for a long while.

Another trait resulting from the episode is sort of a disapproval avoidance, from the convo with O.B. Mobius obviously had his memory wiped and doesn't remember him, but doesn't admit it: it could hurt this nice guy and make him look like a fool (it wouldn't, really. he didn't have to worry abt it).

Then, at the end of the episode, this care (LOVE!!!) he carries for Loki is once again is highlighted:

Because, even at the risk of losing his skin (and, jokes aside, losing his life), Mobius still waits over the limit for Loki to make it back. What was I saying about believing? Even if the gods of the TVA are dead, the God of Mischief isn't. And Mobius always believed in him.

[redundantharpoons]

Hacks S3 Finale Thoughts

spoilers, obv

The S3 finale continues to torment me.

The "Wouldn't you?" line is doing so much invisible work.

Let's look at some points of context:

We think back to Season 1 when Deb left Ava in the desert and basically told her she needs to put everything on the line if she wants to succeed.

We think about how Deb tells Ava she needs to be a shark, and Ava says she doesn't want to be a shark.

We can think about how Deb "pushed Ava away" in S2 to climb her own mountain, urging Ava to get what she is capable of.

In a way, we can see this all as Deb forcing Ava's hand, and in some ways giving her permission to do what she did. "Wouldn't you?" tells Deb exactly this. "This is what you told me to bring, so I'm bringing it."

But the thing is . . . I don't buy it, and I can't truly imagine Deb or Ava does, either. I can see in lots of other contexts Ava being willing to "be a shark" and put herself and her career before Deb and Deb's career and their situationship. But I don't think anyone see Ava's character and think she would in general, even to a stranger, blackmail a woman with a sexual indiscretion. Bringing shame on a woman for having sex? Airing a woman's sexual encounter to hurt that woman's career? Ava wouldn't do that to a stranger, let alone to Deb. And not just because of her fondness for Deb, but because she knows how much Deb regretted the encounter, how much shame she already feels abut it herself. And Ava knows it also had nothing to actually do with Deb getting the show. There is no way Ava would do this. It must be a bluff.

And the thing is, Deb has to know that. She's heard more of Ava's woke lectures than anyone else, she knows Ava wouldn't actually do this if she called her on it. So why didn't she call Ava's bluff?

She didn't want to. We know she wanted Ava as the head writer from the beginning, she wanted that for them both. But her meeting with whatshisface put fear back into her heart. Deb is such a hurt, scared character at times; Ava's always pushed her to be brave. Fuck the old material, fuck the Palmetto, go for what you want. And when Ava is there, Deb is brave. Deb can be brave, with Ava's support. But taken out of it, she remembers the hurt in her past, and she's so scared. We heard it in the frat guy's room.

She wants Ava as her head writer, but the fear paralyzes her and makes her second-guess the decision, makes her fear losing her dream. And so she returns to her old ways. A residency at the Palmetto and the same jokes every night-- if you do what worked before, it should work again, right? She forgets she can be brave with Ava there.

And so I think she knows that Ava is bluffing, but she can't "call her on it" because it will shatter the illusion that Ava is creating for her. Ava is doing this for her; she is giving Deb the opportunity to have no choice but to get what she wants. If she told Ava she would never do that (because they both know Ava wouldn't), Ava's threat wouldn't even have the illusory power. So she pretends Ava means it, and Ava pretends she means it, and they both get what they want: Each other, right where they want the other to be alongside them.

This must be the dynamic, in my eyes, and so it just leaves me saying: Where do they go from here?

They still have the dynamic of a blackmailer and the blackmailed, a re-envisioning of the plaintiff and the defendant in the S2 lawsuit. They can keep that up in some weird way. But would they? Does Ava worry that Deb thinks she's serious? That she would ever do something like that to Deb when of course she would never? But what if Deb doesn't realize she was bluffing, and saying the truth out loud shatters the delicate balance?

I feel that S4 will begin with this crazy mindfuck of 4D chess of who is going to acknowledge the bluff, and if so, do they then acknowledge that the reason for the bluff wasn't that Ava wanted the job but that Ava wanted Deb to get what she wanted and she was going to force her if she had to in order to get Deb past that crippling fear? Do they talk about how Ava isn't a shark because that's not what she needs to be for herself or for Deb? And that Deb needs Ava to not be a shark, because everyone else in Deb's life has tried to bite a chunk out of her or drag her under, and Ava simply protects her even at her own expense if necessary?

This woman dresses as shitty as she can to let DJ sell photos to TMZ so that she can fee "self-sufficient." She will damn well "let" Ava blackmail her too, and she'll say she's doing it for Ava's sake, to let Ava feel powerful or like a shark.

Was her feeling when she sat across the table from Ava one of pride that Ava was being a shark? Or was it the overwhelming feeling of being known and understood, seeing what Ava was doing and feeling so grateful that Ava, like no one else ever could, saw her fear and knew how to push her through it to get them both the ending they wanted.

My brain, it hurts. also they should kiss.

[maxarchive]

At today's media session ahead of the British Grand Prix, Max Verstappen spoke about his years with Red Bull where only a couple of victories per season was possible during the dominant era of Mercedes. The Dutchman was asked about the current situation his friend Lando Norris finds himself in. The British driver is clearly an extremely promising talent, but he hasn't had the opportunity to fight for victories over the last couple of seasons.

"Unfortunately that is also a bit how Formula 1 is. I mean if Lando would be in a race-winning car, he would win races, it's as simple as that."

The Red Bull driver emphasised that the trust in both the process and the team must be full and above all sincere to know that you are in the right place:

"Again, people can say 'we believe in it', but you really have to believe in it. You need to know and see that you are attracting the right people to make a winning team and really get everything into place, and I did trust our process around it. Of course sometimes you are a bit sceptical. A new engine partner, is this going to work out? Then you can see how determined they were to make it work. Of course sometimes I had my doubts, like 'is this actually going to work? I don't know'. Of course sometimes I had this thought maybe I should leave. At the same time in those years, I was developing a lot as a driver. You never forget who put you in F1 in the first place, you also have to be loyal to that I find. People always say the grass in greener on the other side, but most of the time it's not. I think it's very important to remember these things in situations like that."

F1 Grand Prix of Great Britain | Media Day July 06, 2023

[lovefrombegonia]

Just some rambling IWTV season 2 flashback to the dreadful ep of Lestat throwing Louis from the sky...

⚠️ SPOILER WARNING ⚠️

In the trial episode, when there was a flashback to what happened that night with Louis and Lestat...well...from what we know now, they beat each other. And when Louis just smashed Lestat's face on their coffin so hard, they fell to the opposite sides, I laughed so fucking hard. Like WTF 💀💀 I was actually reluctant to watching any flashback to that episode but I am glad that they didn't make it what I thought they did back then. Anyways, back at them vampire boyfriends having a meltdown while they give zero fucks about their terrified, traumatized daughter, I calmed down a bit,, it's getting serious...

Then Louis tried to get up, looked at Lestat's face, and started laughing while saying "look at your fucking face". Cut to Lestat's face--bruh I was laughing like a psychopath at the man's bloody face 😂😂 coz he did look fucking horrible like a bloody clown, mouth half open! Eyes all like this: 🩸👁️👄👁️🩸

This is extra weird to me when I think about how the same event but in season 1, from Claudia's POV was so fucking horrifying and triggering to me. I almost wanted to shut the show down. Oh lord, I feel like I just enjoy seeing Lestat get beat up sometimes. That's ok. He deserves some beating. Louis gotta put a leash on him with how fucking feral he gets.

One thing tho, this was also Louis's retellings, right? In season 1. So, why did he say the story in such a way that it looked like, Lestat was just beating the shit out of him. Louis wouldn't lie just to make Lestat look worse than he already is. I don't get it coz, regardless of whether Louis did beat Lestat back or not, what Lestat did after that, by dropping Louis from sky high...that reaction from Lestat was already horrible enough on its own. Nowhere near a proportional reaction to what Louis did or said to him. So, Louis just...wanted to keep Daniel in suspense or what LOL Or was that scene from s1 supposed to be from Claudia's diary POV? I don't remember now if it was flashback to Daniel reading the diary. And I don't wanna watch that episode again. Might be that it's simply the show keeping us on our toes. If so then idk what to feel about the show doing that. I also don't think Lestat's face looked as bloody in s1 during this happening. Probably a continuity error. Or...a memory manipulation by Armand? Louis didn't at all notice the different retellings of the same night tho, neither did Daniel. Or maybe Lestat did have a bloody face.

Introducing the memory manipulation and memory erasing power gives some new meanings to previous events. Definitely, makes things more interesting. I do hope the seasons ahead are just as good as season 2 was. Even new powers. Show us Magnus and Akasha too. Armand looked shooketh when Lestat almost whisper-said the name 👀

I know that Akasha has a movie called Queen of the Damned. She looks...majestic. The Lestat beside her tho, looks like budget Edward Cullen. The movie has low ratings too. Idk if I should watch it and potentially spoil the future seasons. Or just wait for the next season and then watch it. I have seen a little bit of this film tho, on television. She just sauntered down vaguely in a disco. Hard to forget her, in that sexy attire and just fucking amazing look over all. Hot af

I already know some minor spoilers about Lestat. Well, one spoiler. That Lestat had...Alabama mommy issues 😭😭 what is this wrong with this French dude. Louis and Claudia really got paired with the most unhinged vampire...

[IGNORE EVERYTHING I SAY. I FEEL LIKE SHIT. I KNOW NOTHING.]

[acklestarkism]

SUPERNATURAL FINALE : an honest, maybe sometimes controversial, take on tv's biggest disappointment of this decade.

DISCLAIMER : in this essay, i will give my opinion about 15x20 of the silly long-running show Supernatural (no kidding???) and i stand by the fact that i hate it, BUT i am not just going to trash talk my comfort show the entire time, and will try to bring into light the things that actually worked (ahem, yes, i will try to find some...) in this episode. i don't need any attacks on my opinion, you can disagree with the things i am going to say, but let's stay civil, right ? hope you enjoy it !

let's face it, no need to beat around the bush : Dean's death is THE worst thing that could've ever happened to us. 15 years of adoring, worshiping THE best character ever created on tv just for losing him ?? this way ?? feels (sorry but...) fucking disrepectful to me. and listen, i haven't seen that cursed episode again in six months, so don't mind me if my blurry memories are failing me... it still makes me so mad, that the episode starts on OUR beloved hero living a peaceful life, happy, kind of, finally free from god's (yeah, more like chuck) who's been through literal hell, faced a hundred deaths, just to end up on that stupid rebar. fuckin stupid quick, meaningless death of a HERO. i can't even think straight when it comes to this but what makes it EVEN WORST is the freakin comedic part of this episode. the pie in the face ??? when THE Dean Winchester is about to die ??? or Sam's fuckin hideous wig ??? the episode focuses on some POINTLESS hunt involving a fuckin vampire literally no soul remembered from season 1 (if you did remember without even looking it up and just happen to have this knowledge, i am sorry AND really impressed) ?? are you just kidding ?? your main character dies, and you just make it absolutely no big of a deal ? i could not. disrespectful, once again.

Dean isn't even the only one who's been failed on this finale because the same disrespect is put on Sam. i'm not bringing back the wig again (BUT THE WIG THO ??? i know the budget is low with covid and everything but come on ??) but the blurry wife is the icing on the cake. but where they failed Sam the most is the way in 15 years (okay this is not only finale related but i thought it deserved to be brought into light) they never EVER gave the man a real closure with Jess. they literally bring every character back from the dead, or at least give the boys an opportunity to say goodbye at some point but they never even cared giving Sam a proper closure from the most important relationship in his life. this, pals, makes me insanely angry. but at least, Sam gets to live and have an ordinary life until his last breathe.

Castiel isn't even really mentioned again ?? i mean, no need for a long thesis about this shame but he's been a fan favorite for YEARS and they just ???

i reached the part where i have to list the things that worked for me in this cursed episode. well. it gave us Dean x Miracle ? the man deserved to have a dog. and it was one of the cutest thing they ever did on this show. Miracle is somehow Dean's little sparkle of joy and hope after losing Cas. kudos (somehow, in a way, i don't know) to Dean's last speech to Sam, and their heartbreaking exchange. it really moved me, and made sense, it was in character. Dean dying on his feet was also appreciated (and those kudos go to Jensen, thank you buddy) but i will explain why in the next paragraph. anyway, i don't have anything more to add, and trust me i tried really hard!! oh, the photography was also decent, but it's one thing Supernatural always did well, so... not surprising.

i am NOT a supporter of Dean dying in the finale, and i am thankful to the wonderful talented writer in this fandom for their amazing fix-it fictions on the finale. this ground is covered, so i am leaving you with ao3 for all the ways the show could have ended WITHOUT Dean dying. my man deserved to be happy and free ans well. i am going to cover the ground of THE WRITERS REALLY WANT DEAN DYING. fine. i don't agree, but you do you baby. 15 years of the show, Dean Winchester was depicted as a HERO. the fanbase has been dedicated for FIFTEEN FUCKIN YEARS and being myself a 2006 Supernatural fan, this finale made me feel like it was a total loss of time. as i said before, i WORSHIPPED (and i still do) this character like i've never worshipped any other character. what he (and we) deserved for always sacrificing his own happiness and life was to die the hero he's always been. to die, i don't know, saving Sam one last time ? with a show with great biblical implication, didn't he deserve a great biblical tragedy ending ? something huge, epic ? and i know this could be controversial because they are no longer under the influence of god himself, but he could have been paralleled to Jesus somehow, just joining heaven next to Jack and Cas as his mission on earth was over. i don't know. just thinking about things.

what could've also been great would have been Dean's life flashing before his eyes as he was dying. glimpse of unseen good moments, memories, as a tribute to the character. once again, he deserved no less than to be praised for everything he did for his family, and for the world.

anyway. revival is now a thing all over social medias and it could both heal us, or destroy us. it raised a lot of concerns, the most important being will Cas' confession finally be aknowledge ? i sure hope it will for misha's perfect delivery of it, and his fight to allow his character to be himself fully. but i also hope this revival finds a way to "cancel" the mistake the writers made with this finally. it could make sense. it could be yet another illusion, trick, anything really and they could (just like us) pretend it never happened (spoiler alert : it really never happened) and i don't want my hopes too high. but it's possible.

thank you so much for your attention. i wanted to write an essay about the finale but i feel like i've been here and there talking nonsense. i've never really expressed my disappointment before, as it was something really personal to me, but i am glad i finally did. there could have been so much more things said. or said in a better way, but i tried my best :(

love y'all, spn family <3

[arc852]

1. Mirth

Definition: fun and enjoyment as shown by laughter

Summary: Tango invites Jimmy on for Hermitcraft's family and friends day to show off his projects and spend time with his Double Life soulmate.

G/t: Tango is his normal size, Jimmy is only a few inches tall

Word Count: 2771

AO3 Link

Welcome to the first day of the G/t July prompts! Like I said before, I'm super excited to be sharing these fics with you guys!

Now, something about this fic, I really liked the beginning but started losing interest in the middle of it, then ended up liking it again near the end. So, basically, I think this fic has a strong beginning and end but just an okay middle. But I am still proud of this one and overall, I think this is a good one to kick things off with! So I hope you guys enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Tango was up and ready in the early hours of the morning. He had barely gotten enough sleep beforehand though, too excited by what today meant. Today was one of the very few days non-members were allowed onto Hermitcraft. So any family, friends, or significant others were welcome and whitelisted for today only.

 Tango never really gave these days much thought before. He didn’t really have any family outside of Hermitcraft. So he never had anyone to meet him on days like today.

 But ever since Double Life, a certain tiny avian had met up with him on every possible day he could. Tango grinned just thinking about his soulmate, already planning on all the stuff they were going to do today. Of course, a tour will have to be first. This was the first family and friends day on season 10. He had so much to show him, he couldn’t wait.

 In fact, unable to sit around any longer, Tango put on his elytra and flew over to the world spawn, where everyone would be popping in when it was time. He landed, only to notice he wasn’t the first one there.

 “Oh, hey Joel!” Tango greeted one of the newest members of their little family. He unequipped his wings and walked over to where Joel was standing.

 Joel looked back at him and smiled. “Hey Tango!” He waved back, he looked just as excited as Tango felt. Maybe even more so. It only took Tango a moment to remember why Joel would be waiting here.

 “Waiting for Lizzie?” Tango asked, crossing his arms as he decided to wait next to Joel. Joel nodded, the smile not leaving his face.

 “Yep! I’ve seen her off and on, ya know, since I was doing SOS for a little while but…it’s different here on Hermitcraft. This’ll be her first time here on season 10 and I can’t wait to show her how far I’ve come already.” Joel explained, his eyes shining bright and determined. Tango couldn’t help but smile too.

 Joel had quickly proven, to all of them, that he was a hermit through and through. Not that he had anything to prove, of course. But the more time he spent on the server, the more he built, the more he interacted with everyone, it was obvious Joel had been meant to be here all along. And Tango couldn’t help but find himself excited for Joel to show that to Lizzie.

 “I’m sure she’s going to love everything you’ve done here.” Tango said and Joel smiled at him in thanks. “I’m actually feeling sort of the same way. I’m planning on this big tour to start off the day, even before we get to anything else.” Tango admitted with a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

 Joel tilted his head, his smile turning into a look of confusion. “By the way, who is it that you’re waiting for anyway?” Joel asked.

 It was Tango’s turn to be confused. “You don’t know?” 

 Joel raised an eyebrow. “This is my first season. Of course I don’t know.”

 Tango shook his head. “Sorry, sorry, I just thought it was obvious? I’m waiting for Jimmy.”

 Joel blinked, processing the name. And then his eyes went wide. “Wait, Jimmy?” He didn’t need to clarify which Jimmy. There was only one that the two of them knew. “But, why-oh. Double Life.” Joel answered his own question, remembering the season that had changed the way some people would see another forever. Like with him and Etho, for example.

 Tango nodded. “Yep. Double Life. I know the whole soulmate mechanic is long gone but…I don't know. I still feel this connection to him. And he feels the same. And…well, we get along really well. Jimmy has become one of my best friends too.” Tango admitted, a bit sheepishly. It was strange to think that without being paired up in Double Life, Tango and Jimmy might still be acquaintances at the most. Because at this point, Tango couldn’t imagine his life without Jimmy in it.

 Joel’s expression softened and he patted Tango on the back. “Yeah, the guy grows on you, that’s for sure.” Joel said, as one of Jimmy’s other best friends. “It’s kind of cute how excited you are to show him around.”

 Tango flushed a light red, turning his head away. “Heh, I’m just…you know, excited like you are.”

 Joel grinned. “I can see that. I’m sure Jimmy will love what you have to show him.” He said, repeating in a way what Tango had said to him earlier about Lizzie.

 “I hope so.” Tango was excited but still always a little nervous to show off what he’s done. But Jimmy had loved Decked Out 2 and, though not as impressive, he was sure Jimmy would love the factory he was working on as well.

 Suddenly, Xisuma touched down in front of them, a screen of code up in front of him as soon as he landed. “Ah, good! You two are here already.” He typed a few things. “It looks like you two are the only ones expecting a visitor today. All set?” Xisuma asked and with a nod from both Joel and Tango, Xisuma typed something else. “Here we go then.”

[LDShadowLady joined the game]

[SolidarityGaming joined the game]

 Tango watched as Lizzie and Jimmy finally popped in. Lizzie immediately ran over to Joel and they shared a quick hug and kiss. Though Tango was barely paying any attention to them, his focus was on the tiny avian hybrid. “Jimmy!”

 Jimmy looked up, a grin on his face. He fanned out his wings and took off, flying over and hovering in front of Tango. “Tango!”

 Tango held out his hand and Jimmy landed in it, folding his wings back in. The two couldn’t stop grinning at each other. 

 “Oh, get a room you two.” Joel said jokingly as he himself refused to let Lizzie go. Tango decided to throw it back.

 “You two first.” He said with a smirk. Lizzie laughed and Joel rolled his eyes. A small laugh came from his hand and suddenly Tango’s attention was back on Jimmy.

 “And we lost them again.” Joel said with a laugh and started gently tugging on Lizzie’s arm toward his base. “Come on Lizzie, I’ve got a lot to show you.”

 “Oh, I’m so excited!” Lizzie said with a large grin. They’re voices faded away, leaving Tango and Jimmy standing there alone. Xisuma had also taken off shortly before Joel and Lizzie had.

 “So, how have things been?” Tango asked as he started to walk back to his own base. He kept his hand held out in front of him, as Jimmy was still standing on top.

 “It’s been great! I was on SOS for a while, I think I told you about that?” Jimmy asked, trying to remember. Tango nodded.

 “Yeah, you did. And Joel talked about it a bit too. Heard you went out with a bang.” Tango grinned. Jimmy laughed sheepishly.

 “It was mostly Joel’s idea, honestly. But it was really cool. We took out ten people!” Jimmy exclaimed and Tango’s eyes widened.

 “Ten!? Dude, that’s amazing!” Tango praised and Jimmy’s feathers fluffed a bit at the praise. 

 “Heh, yeah. Of course, my series ended there. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way I don’t think.” Jimmy looked proud of himself and seemed to look back on his time on that server fondly, which Tango was happy about.

 “What about you?” Jimmy threw back. “How has season 10 been so far?”

 Tango hummed. “Amazing. Honestly, it’s been nice getting back into the swing of things.” Especially getting back into actually doing things other than working on Decked Out 2. Don’t get him wrong, he loved what he did, but it was nice to take a break from it. “I’ve actually been working on this factory, but we’ll get to that. I’ve got a whole tour planned for you!” Tango said with a grin and Jimmy couldn’t help but grin back.

 Finally, they arrived at his starter base. Jimmy’s eyes widened as he looked up at it and Tango noticed with a proud little smile of his own. “This here is my starter base.”

 “This is your starter base?!” Jimmy exclaimed and then flapped his wings and took off from Tango’s hand. Tango watched as he flew up and around it, getting a good look. “I seriously still can’t believe you said you weren’t a builder back in Double Life.” Jimmy said as he came back down, hovering in front of Tango again. After seeing Decked Out 2 and this, it was clear Tango’s building skills were very good.

 Tango waved off his praise. “I mean, I’m proud of it. But I’m still a redstoner at heart. There are still a ton of people out there better than I am at this kind of thing.”

 Jimmy crossed his arms, looking a bit annoyed at Tango’s belief. “Sure, you might not be the best. But you’re still really good! Don’t sell yourself short.” 

 Tango chuckled but was thankful for the praise. “Thanks. I’ll try not to.” 

 Jimmy nodded firmly and then went and settled down on Tango’s shoulder. The light but familiar weight was nice to Tango. “Now come on, I gotta see the inside!”

 Tango took him through the inside of his base, feeling proud when Jimmy only had nice things to say about it. He even ooh and aah’d which made Tango laugh. In fact, after not seeing each other for a while now, they were both very giggly with each other. Just happy to be together once again.

 Once Tango’s starter base tour was done, he moved on to his factory. “Now remember, I’m only really just getting started on it.” Tango prefaced and then showed him around.

 Jimmy was gobsmacked by the amount of redstone. “This is insane! You’re insane!” Tango just laughed at that, a little maniacally too, to add to the bit.

 “You never even saw the inner workings of Decked Out 2. Now that I would admit was a little insane.” Tango said.

 They continued on and after Tango finished showing him everything he had built, he went on to the rest of the server. Going from the shopping district, to magic mountain, to the neighborhood, and everywhere in between.

 By the time they had finished, the sun was just starting to set over the horizon.

 Tango looked up at the sky and let out a little sigh. “Welp, looks like we gotta start heading back to spawn.” He didn’t really want the day to end, knowing that meant Jimmy had to leave for another undisclosed amount of time. 

 Jimmy hummed, a little saddened by the thought as well. But then he got an idea and he stood up on Tango’s shoulder, keeping his balance by placing a hand on Tango’s neck. Tango frowned in confusion on what Jimmy was doing. “What are you-?”

 He was cut off. “I’ll race you back!” Jimmy suddenly exclaimed and then jumped off Tango’s shoulder and flew high up into the air and in the direction of spawn. Tango watched him go for a moment, trying to process what had just happened.

 “...H-Hey! No fair!” Tango laughed, jumping into action and panicking at the lead Jimmy already had. “I don’t even have my wings on!” Tango quickly equipped his elytra and used a rocket to take off toward Jimmy.

 For being so small, Jimmy sure was fast. Despite being a canary, he was more like a hummingbird in that regard. Zipping and zagging all over the place and sometimes hard to keep up with. Tango let a few more rockets go off in quick bursts and managed to catch up to the tiny avian. Tango hovered above Jimmy and Jimmy, noticing the shadow, looked up with a surprised expression.

 “Better pick up the pace tiny!” Tango yelled with a laugh over the rush of air and then let another rocket go off, sending him further than Jimmy.

 “Hey! No fair!” Jimmy repeated Tango’s words, also unable to keep from laughing. He flapped his wings even harder, pushing himself further to try and get ahead.

 Unfortunately, with Tango using so many rockets in such a short amount of time, Tango ran out and was steadily slowing down as he glided. Tango was hoping he would still have enough of a lead to win but then he saw a blur of yellow pass him by. Jimmy turned back with a grin. “See you at spawn!” He yelled and then took off even faster.

 Jimmy made it to spawn first, diving down and hovering above the ground. Joel, Lizzie, and Xisuma, who were already there and waiting for them, looked at Jimmy in surprise. “Yes! I won!” Jimmy exclaimed, a large grin on his face. 

 “Won what?” Lizzie asked, curious at how fast Jimmy had come in from the sky.

 “And where’s Tango?” Xisuma questioned, wondering where the other hermit was.

 Jimmy turned to the two of them. “Oh, Tango is-” He was cut off with a yelp as suddenly he was encompassed in two large hands that had come barreling toward him from above. Tango had used whatever momentum he had left and dive-bombed Jimmy, using his hands to trap the avian inside and also to protect him from the brunt of the collision. He didn’t want to actually hurt him after all.

 Tango skidded but managed to land on his feet with Jimmy safely cupped between his hands. “I’m here!” Tango answered, having at least heard the question. “Me and Jimmy here were just having a little race.”

 Tango opened his hands up so now Jimmy was sprawled over his cupped hands. The tiny avian gave him a deadpan expression but Tango could barely take it seriously with how frazzled Jimmy looked from the quick grab. Jimmy crossed his arms but couldn’t keep the small smile off his face, which told Tango everything was fine. 

 “I won though! Fair and square.” Jimmy said as he sat up and tried to fix his hair.

 Tango rolled his eyes and poked Jimmy on the chest. “Not sure about fair, pipsqueak.” Tango said. “Considering you had a good 30 second head start.”

 Jimmy huffed, pushing the finger away playfully. “Says the guy who used a stack of rockets all in a row.”

 They looked at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing.

 Joel, Lizzie, and Xisuma, who were still all watching, couldn’t help but smile at the sheer joy Jimmy and Tango seemed to be experiencing by just being with each other. It made Xisuma feel bad that he had to break that up, but he had to send them back to their own servers.

 Maybe, eventually, Jimmy and Lizzie could join them more permanently in a couple of seasons. He was sure Joel and Tango would stop at nothing to convince the others to let them join. And he can’t exactly see any of his hermits saying no either.

 He put away that thought for another time though, and cleared his throat to gain Tango and Jimmy’s attention. “Sorry to interrupt, but it’s time to send Lizzie and Jimmy back.” Xisuma said sadly.

 Tango and Jimmy let their laughter peter off and looked at each other at the reminder that it was time for Jimmy to leave. “I had a great time today.” Jimmy said, a smile on his face. He refused to be sad. They had been happy all day today and he refused to be sad for their last few moments.

 “So did I.” Tango said, his smile a bit softer as he gently cradled Jimmy in his hands. “Can’t wait to do it again soon.”

 Jimmy nodded and leaned into Tango’s touch for a moment, soaking it up, before standing and taking off to go stand over by Lizzie. Who had also said her last see you soons to Joel and was now standing away from him.

 “We’ll see you again soon. I’ll make sure to let you know when the next family and friends day is here on Hermitcraft.” Xisuma said as he opened up his code log.

 They nodded and then with one last wave, they were gone.

[LDShadowLady left the game]

[SolidarityGaming left the game]

 Tango was sad to see Jimmy go, but he couldn’t deny the amazing day the two of them had together. His comm dinged suddenly and Tango grabbed it from within his pocket and took a look at it.

SolidarityGaming whispers to you: Miss you already <3

 Tango grinned.

[nat-20s]

For the ask meme: pov?

POV — something that’s already happened, retold from another character’s perspective

MARTHA TIME BABEY!! this is set in season 3!! also this got longer than i was anticipating so uh readmore time <3

Martha knew about the (in her opinion, a bit on the nose) rosebush that resided splayed across The Doctor’s ribs, and how it didn’t used to have thorns wrapped around it. She obviously knew of and thought fondly about the caduceus snuggled to his clavicle that matched her own. (and oh, how she remembered that day, him and his confusing heartbeat and his eccentricities, including pulling down the collar of his shirt with an enthusiastic “This one is you, isn’t it!”.) She was even aware of the swirling vortex wrapped around his wrist that faded in and out, belonging to one Captain Jack Harkness. That one was..interesting, to say the least.

But The Doctor tended to stay rather bundled up. Logically speaking, it was entirely possible that he had several more marks that she would never bare witness to. She just kind of assumed otherwise, though. The Doctor hardly seemed the type to accumulate soul marks willy nilly, and even when he did, they didn’t seem like they would be all that private. Definitely not a soul mark on the upper thigh type bloke, by any means.

Then he had to go and get himself shot. Sure, she wasn’t an expert in xenobiology (yet- she had some plans), but generally speaking, large wound treatment was the same regardless of species. Step 1: get them into a position where you can accurately assess the wound, for the love of god, Doctor, stop being a baby, take off your shirt, and stay STILL. Step 2: Stop the bleeding. Luckily the shot through the shoulder had been from laser fire rather than a bullet, cauterizing the wound. Clearly meant to injure rather than kill, thank god. Step 3: If bleeding is under control, clean the wound. She didn’t have all the resources she’d like, but the Tardis did provide a fairly extensive first aid kit, including sterilizing wipes that The Doctor, uh, probably wouldn’t have a bad reaction to. Hopefully. Step 4: Make the open wound no longer open: aka bandage it up and threaten to put a cone on him if he starts messing with it.

The final step, which was really only in this specific case, was stop focusing on the wound and see a large dark spot out of the corner of her eye. Curious, and just a tad worried that there was some Other thing going on, Martha actually studies the blotch between his shoulder blades. It’s not a blotch, or a wound, or a rash, but rather the spitting image of a beetle. Oh, interesting. Clearly a soulmark, though the color is slightly faded, and she couldn’t think of who it might go to. Swallowing down just the ever so slightest twinge of jealousy over The Doctor being connected to yet another someone, she couldn’t help but ask, “So who’s this one then?”

She even threw in a slightly cheeky grin, because she genuinely was more curious than anything. Instead of direct response, of course, The Doctor only replied with a “Huh?”

“The beetle? Smack dab in the middle of your back? You know the one!”

With a scoff, The Doctor hastily puts his (first) shirt back on, and sucks in a breath through his teeth as he pulls on the brand new bandaging. “I most certainly do not know the one. I don’t have a mark on my back!”

Martha rolls her eyes at him. “Do you really not know? It’s not exactly subtle.”

The Doctor turns to face her, stares for a moment, then...sonics his own back. Apparently that does something for him, because as he squints down to the readout? he lets out a classic, “What?”

“I mean, it’s not that odd of a mark, is it? Almost terrestrial, for you.”

“No, that’s not. It’s not the mark itself, it’s, well, I don’t know who it belongs to.”

“Wait, I thought you had this sort of thing all, I dunno, cataloged out? Filed and color coded and everything.”

“Yeah, I mean, it could be her-”

Martha’s eyebrows raise and she covers up another of the littlest, ittiest, bittiest pang with a teasing, “Oh her? You’ve got a mystery woman out there? Or should I say another one?”

“No, no, no, not like that, just someone I ran into-”

“Yeah, right, someone you ‘just ran into’ is someone you have a soulmark with.”

He grimaces ever so slightly, at it’s not from that stupid shoulder of his. “Yeah, you’re right. Can’t be...Well, should be interesting to find out, anyway. Now, where were we? Trensalor, right?”

He’s dashing off to the Tardis console before she can respond, and she lets out a sigh. She knows full well this conversation isn’t getting anywhere any time soon, so might as well go with it. Privately, she hopes that whomever this mystery person is that is now written on The Doctor’s skin is decent. Maybe even someone she could get on with, ideally.

She hasn’t yet discovered the beetle wing on her back.

[lauranthalasah]

I believe Nate's arc is not that much about redemption, I believe it is about healing. He acted the way he did not because he is an evil person, he was hurt, always on the defensive, but there were reasons for that, probably more than the ones I can grasp, so he felt attacked and responded in kind. We know that the team, Will, Ted, meant no harm to him (at least in season 2),but we saw season 1, we saw Nate's reality for who knows how long, and when Ted came he didn't demand a stop of the bullying, like, I understand where he was coming from, but for the bullied person... it sucks, basically Ted put the team over the individual here. Listen, I adore Ted, but this was a shit move, I like it as part of the story, because it shows us that Ted isn't perfect, it shows us he has blind spots, blind spots that in season 2 covered Nate's actions. I also like it because it adds more reality to Nate's feelings, we know that Ted didn't have his back completely, so Nate is right to doubt him.

Now, of course, what Nate did/said in season 2 was not right, but it came from a place of hurt. What he said to Colin was wrong, but we do remember Colin was one of his bullies, probably for years, and I do not remember Colin actually apologizing to him (maybe he did... I really don't remember). The way Nate treated Will was the worst for me because Will truly didn't deserve it at all, but it came from the same hurt, feeling ridiculed and replaced. Then we have what he did and said to Ted, funny enough most of what he said to Ted shouldn't have been directed at him, I think it's more something that was meant for his own father, because Ted did treat him different than the previous year, but because he treated him more like an equal, something that Nate wasn't ready to see and/or internally accepted back then because he still was searching for paternal approval. What he did... by telling Trent about Ted's panic attacks, that was a low blow, but I think it is the public humiliation that Nate had to live with when being bullied all those years that moves him to do that, retaliation, the bullying did end with Ted's management, but not with Ted's direct actions.

Season 2 Nate hurt so bad for me, like at the end, when he screams at Ted and leaves... I think I felt mostly like Ted, sad. I know that in Ted's case there's a part of guilt too, but I think mostly it's sadness, Nate was hurting so bad, he was so lost, and he was backlashing at everything in an attempt to regain some control, and everything came from internal conflict. I, one hundred percent, understand why Ted forgives him immediately, I did too. What I love about Nate in season 3 is how bit by bit he claws his way back to his heart, how he learns to stand for himself, for what he believes, and starts liking the way he is, and taking risks. Now he is in a good place internally, now he has accepted himself, doesn't need external validation so much, accepts and laughs a bit about his own shortcomings, and it's finally realizing that not everyone is out to get him, and maybe, they weren't back then either. Because now he also understands his own values, and maybe... Other people did value him after all, and they weren't attacking him, maybe they weren't leaving him on the side, maybe they meant it when they called him "The Great" and "Wonder Kid", because maybe, just maybe, he is worth all of that. So now... now he can see that he acted wrongly to some people, because their intentions weren't what he thought they were, and now he can finally say "I'm sorry" and mean it.

I'm sure that there are a million things I'm missing, I've seen some people criticizing this arc and I don't meant the people who hate Nate or attacked Nick Mohammed, I mean the people that don't like the arc itself, I have to be honest, I don't even live in an English speaking country, so I'm sure there are aspects here that are controversial that I can't see simply because I lack the referential stand point for them. But it is not easy to understand those aspects through Tumblr, cause I've seen a post saying "only white people like Nate's arc" and immediately after I saw one of someone that identified themselves as having the same background as Nate saying they loved his arc... so I get REALLY confused! As someone that lives and is from a latin american country,  I love Nate's arc!

[littlebitsmile]

in flames [C.L.] | Chapter VI

Welcome back to another week's madness. Things are finally a bit more confrontational between Emma and Charles - but don't worry, this is only the start.

Enjoy the off-race-weekend and have a wonderful week, see you next Sunday xx

story: in flames driver: Charles Leclerc [C.L.] trope: #haterstolovers summary: Always working three times as hard as everyone else, Emma does not intend to blow her chance of driving among the best of the best in her very first season in Formula 1. Concentrating on first and foremost getting ahead of her brother, she does not even notice that there are some people even in her own team who think she does not deserve this spot and would rather see her fail. And one driver in particular seems to have a need of always reminding her of that.

────ʚ C H A P T E R VI ɞ────

"And it's lights out this weekend in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia!" I hear the presenter's voice from the TVs on the wall. I'm so angry that I storm through the pit lane into my driver's room without saying a word and slam the door behind me, paying little attention to "Bad luck, no worries, Emma!" from one of the mechanics in the garage.

After yesterday's qualifying, I had the opportunity to start from 5th place today. Everything felt the same as always - the lights went out and I put all my strength into the gas pedal. With my back against the seat, the wind against my visor and a smile on my lips, it was a dream start, the likes of which I have rarely achieved in Formula 2.

The feeling for the car came naturally and without much thought, I took off into the first corner, leaving Oscar Piastri and Sergio Perez behind me. For a brief moment, a warm feeling spread through my chest, after I had felt almost nothing but doubt from all sides in recent weeks. I accelerated perfectly out of the corner and was even able to briefly catch the outside of Charles Leclerc's red Ferrari at the braking point of the next corner. Maybe I wanted too much at that moment - to get one over on him after the conversation at Max's New Year's Eve party, to get back at him. But the feeling when I felt the brief contact on the front left tire and shortly afterward spun into the gravel and then slowed down and slid into the barrier is something I won't forget for a while.

"Are you okay, Emma?" Sarah asked over the team radio. I can't remember what I answered.

Now I'm sitting here with my helmet lying in the corner, my rider's suit still fully on and wrinkles of anger on my forehead. My eyes are still fixed on the screen. I watch as Charles confidently masters lap after lap and only drops one place.

"Frustrating, isn't it?" comes a voice out of nowhere. I look toward the door and see Carlos Sainz, dressed in a red polo shirt, limping towards me. I immediately get up, meet him, and move under his shoulder to support him. He laughs and moves with me toward the sofa, where he drops down and looks at me expectantly.

"Hm?" I say as my head bounces back and forth between him and the screen.

"Frustrating when you actually have everything within reach and then lose it all again - within a millisecond."

I look at him and for the first time, I notice how tired he is. I've known Carlos since he drove with Max at Toro Rosso in 2014, and some days I've actually wished he could put Max in his place. That hasn't always worked out well, but you have to have all the more respect for him when you see how hard he trains for his results. The biggest compliment is probably that my brother hasn't said a single bad word about Carlos and tends to speak positively about the still-Ferrari driver - especially in public.

My anger fades a little. When I think about what I want to say and how it might come across to him, only one word comes to mind to describe me: Crazy. I was on the outside and should have given Charles more space, wanted more than I could handle at that moment and ended up at the end of the gravel trap through no fault of my own.

"I know how it is in racing - everyone is their own best friend, but..."

"I didn't ask how you would rationally assess the situation, I asked if you were frustrated."

"Of course, I am! Of course, I'm frustrated," I admit and throw my arms in the air. My legs start to move up and down the room of their own accord. "I'm trying to put on a good performance and... I'm not saying that Charles is to blame for my elimination, but I imagine there was enough space to the left of him and he..."

"...kicked you out on purpose?" Carlos finishes my sentence. I look at him and consider whether I should nod. A short pause fills the room, leaving only the sound of engines from the race broadcast echoing from the TV. "You're frustrated, but you need to turn it off."

"That's so easy to say - but who am I telling?"

"Sometimes things happen that we can't help. And sometimes things happen that we should and do blame ourselves for, but blaming someone else for something helps us exactly zero."

"Since when are you so wise? Did they accidentally cut something during your appendectomy that's responsible for your impulsiveness?"

Carlos laughs, loudly, before letting out a short "ooh" of pain and reflexively pressing his hand against the side of his stomach. "Believe me, I'm certainly one of the people who knows the most about frustration. Whether Charles was responsible for the situation out there or not, if you blame him, you'll always stay distracted. Get over it and focus on yourself again."

"Is that what you're doing? Any news about 2025 yet?"

"No, and even if I did, I wouldn't be allowed to tell you."

"That frustrates me too, by the way - you're the only one who can hold a candle to Max, I know that better than anyone. And yet Mr. I-have-seven-world-championship-titles-and-wine-my-eighth-behind-and-Mr. I-belong-at-Ferrari-because-it-is-my-dream are more likely to get a seat than you? I wouldn't begrudge them if you can drive next to Max next year and you both win every race with a double Red Bull lead. My favorite thing would be if you were world champion and Max was only runner-up."

"I appreciate your words, but I don't think that's going to happen. Charles is a good driver and person, you've just caught him on the wrong foot the last few times - and your...differences with Lewis are just a result of you being biased. I promise. That will all go away after this year."

"You're too good for this world, Carlos. But the fact that I still have a bone to pick with that one..." I point my thumb towards the TV, "...not even you can prevent that."

I sit down next to him and rest my head on his shoulder. There was once a time when I dreamt of a moment like this, while I cut out photos of Carlos from magazines and stuck them together on a poster. Now he's like a big brother - the only person who knows Max better than me and can probably understand why I sometimes want to wring his neck.

A message appears on the TV informing us that the race incident has been analyzed by race control and that Charles will not be fined.

"Somehow I'm a little scared for him - he doesn't know you yet when you're really fired up."

"He'll learn about me soon enough, Carlos. Just wait."

-

"What do you think you're doing? Do you enjoy pushing other drivers? You could have left a bit more space!" I shout and charge towards Charles, who is throwing himself into the Ferrari crowd next to me to celebrate his third place. I stand behind the barrier, gathering all my strength and using every ounce of my lung capacity to ensure he can’t overhear me.

Charles turns in my direction, takes two steps towards me and smiles smugly at me: "I'm going to tell you something I wouldn't tell everyone: Fuck off. You're too aggressive in your driving, you think you can get away with anything. You may still be new, but there's no puppy protection here, you can remember that right away. If you want to drive like a pro, you'll have to live with the consequences, we all had to learn that." In the next moment he attempts to turn away and head to his first interview. Standing on the lowest metal bar of the barrier, I lean forward, grab him by the collar of his suit and pull him back towards me. I slide back down to the ground and have to turn my head upwards due to the difference in height.

"You could have spared two centimeters of space without sacrificing your podium place, you conceited snob. Do you think just because it says Ferrari on your back, you're the next Michael Schuhmacher?" My eyes are glowing. A few people turn in our direction and stop talking to each other so they can hear why there's noise here that has nothing to do with the celebrations.

"Do you think because you have Verstappen in your surname we'll all make way for you and give you a win? Oh, wait, you wouldn't win anyway because you've always been number two, right?" Charles steps up to the barrier and is only a few centimeters away from my face. He's taller than me, at least when I'm standing on the ground. I step back onto the first metal bar of the barrier, offering him at least minimal resistance. I swallow. Tears sting my eyes because the statement was more hurtful than I'd like to admit.

"Are you going to start crying now? Woman, we all have our own expectations about this sport and more so of ourselves and therefore, pressure. Everyone has been knocked out before because they drove too aggressively, and the risk therefore being too high. Max might be able to help you out here, but certainly not on the track. Learn to live with it and you might survive longer than a season." His words are quieter now. He looks frantically left and right, probably not wanting to be in the papers tomorrow. I briefly imagine the headlines, then shake my head and meet his gaze.

I take another breath, stand up straight and then look him deep in the eye before speaking with firm conviction: "I hope you remember exactly what I'm about to say, because I'm not going to repeat it again: as long as I'm part of this grid, you have to respect me as much as anyone else, whether you like it or not. And I swear to God, if you pull a stunt like that agin, Max will be the least of your worries." Then I stand back on the ground and take two steps back. Where I was just standing, the room immediately fills up with Red Bull mechanics, but Charles doesn't miss the opportunity to respond again.

"Wow, I’m shaking in my boots. Please, don't strain yourself, let it all out. But in the end, you'll still just be one thing: somebody who barks but doesn't bite." With that, he turns around and leaves me to the crowd of people standing outside cheering for the winners.

-

"I find myself back in Netflix's Drive to Survive recording room with the same interviewer who sat across from me last time. My flight leaves for Australia on Monday, two days from now, but thanks to the viral videos of Charles' and my argument, they naturally want my direct, unfiltered truth before my PR team strategizes and answers me accordingly.

"Emma! What happened out there? For a short time, it looked like you could make up two places on the first lap. Then there was an incident with Charles Leclerc on the second corner..." the interviewer begins. The additional lights blind me, just like the first time. I don't feel any less uncomfortable and I'm beginning to regret the direct confrontation. I want to race fast cars and compete in races, but I have no interest in adding more drama to a show that's as scripted and shallow as 'The Bachelor'.

"No comment on the incident. Race control looked at the incident and decided not to impose a penalty, I have to accept that," I say calmly. I almost congratulate myself for keeping my composure. Take that!

"Do you expect an apology from Charles Leclerc or Ferrari? After all, they ruined your race." The provocative line is not new to me. I can't even blame him, after all, they're just trying to make their series as exciting as possible. The stereotype is that women are emotional, but the truth is, everyone enjoys drama, regardless of gender.

"It always takes two to make an incident like this happen. I'm analyzing the raw data with my team and will adjust my behavior accordingly - a result like this is disappointing for Aston Martin and most of all for me. But we'll regroup and give our best shot in the next race." I am convinced of my words. I am fully aware that there was a collective murmur around the Aston Martin pit lane at the moment of retirement, along with a few comments that probably sounded a lot like "typical" and "natural". Nevertheless, we must all look forward and give ourselves a chance.

"After tenth place last week in Bahrain and a DNF here in Jeddah, what are the learnings for the next two weeks in preparation for Australia?"

I let a few seconds pass before answering. The first lesson is that I need to react faster to avoid situations like the one with Charles. "I plan to depart earlier than Fernando, giving me more time to acclimate and train."

At this moment, I notice a movement in the background. Everyone turns around before the interviewer thanks me for my statement, shakes my hand and can hardly wait to shoo me out of my chair. In passing, I notice that the crew greet Charles, who has apparently also been invited to make a short statement. All the attention is now on him, which I'm honestly glad about. I am allowed to exhale deeply without anyone noticing how tense I actually was. I stand up, put on my cap and march straight towards Charles. He looks at me wide-eyed as I hug him and wish him a good interview before I sneak out the door, giggling a little at the thought of the questions he's about to be asked. Sometimes revenge comes in a different form than you first expect."

────ʚ [Masterlist] [Chapter V] [Chapter VII (in progress)] ɞ────

Tags: @cmleitora @alliwantisadonut