#i recognize that im projecting a lot

[xwonderlandresidentx]

For me the idea of Zuko and Azula reconciling is very personal, because I grew up in a similar (albeit, far less severe) family situation, as the screw up scapegoat older sibling with the obviously favored golden child little brother who bullied me, and we were able to work things out, and became very close.

As a kid, the way things ended between Zuko and Azula was incredibly cathartic, but now as an adult, it's deeply saddening to me, and just... doesn't feel right.

Now, I think it's important to note that in the situation with my brother, he was the one who took the initiative to patch things up with me. He apologized, corrected his behavior, and never put any pressure on me to forgive him because he recognized that he was in the wrong (and that our parents spoiled him, and pitted us against each other). And in an Azula redemption scenario I absolutely believe that it should be the same way. It would not be Zuko's responsibility to try and work things out with and/or "fix" his sister, it should be all on her. Part of the reason I haven't read any Azula redemption fics in years is because so many of them don't make Azula really take responsibility, and have Zuko do all the emotional leg work, or blame him for their relationship being bad in the first place.

But, while the ending we got with them is narratively satisfying, and a victory in it's own right, to me personally it feels incomplete. Not just because I want Azula to be redeemed, but just as much, if not more so because I want Zuko to get what I got. He's outgrown his need for his family's validation, but he deserves it. He deserves an apology, and he deserves the relief, satisfaction, and joy of seeing Azula follow his example by putting in the work to grow.

it’s time for me to admit that i find a post-canon in which azula and zuko don’t reconcile just as (and maybe more) cathartic than what seems like a large fandom consensus that the only happy/cathartic ending is for them to be on good terms down the road. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[mvmnbnv]

okay but like when can we as a fandom start acknowledging vi's beauty as a whole? and no im not talking about just hypersexualizing her all the time and thinking its complementary. i feel like because she's masc a lot of people not only just sexualize her and dont really notice her for her beauty, but also never point it out... and also hardly ever allow her to be seen as desireable in the same way that a femme is considered desireable (good example being cait). like idk maybe its just me but like she's SUUUPER beautiful. like really. not just hot. and i think it deserves to be admired and looked at in the same way other girls' beauty is. she shouldnt be just the one chasing and persuing the femme girly while not getting any love for how pretty she is just bc she's masc

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Knitting is singlehandedly destroying my wrists, so I need to replace its role with another creative hobby. Please give me any suggestions you may have!

Requirements are:

-Can't destroy my wrists further, at least not as fast as knitting does

-Should be reasonably inexpensive and not too daunting to start

-Calming would be nice

-Textile arts are a plus :)

-Obscure is welcome

[ff2-soda-pop]

the first sonic movie is on and I'm just looking over at my mom like "hey you wanna hear my fan theories"

[orcelito]

Worst thing about having taken business classes is that I see people complain about bullshit companies are pulling and a part of my brain goes "Oh, that's an effective tactic for cost reduction" or something around those lines. And then the part of my brain that is Not a wannabe businessman is just like "Bro."

[elytrafemme]

strange 2day

[llycaons]

of all the continents I'm quizzing myself on, by far the hardest is oceania. I have. multiple mnemonics for that map. the easiest has actually been south america! asia hasnt been as difficult as I expected, it's just big. the caribbean region and southeastern europe also posed challenges, for different reasons. haven't done africa yet but it's next

[broke-on-books]

😍😍😍

[skitskatdacat63]

Love to go back to my desk once I've woken up and see whatever weird thing I was working on at like 5 am. This one I think is genuinely interesting but also would look so deranged to anyone else 😭 I was writing a color coded guide to how I group drivers in my head with examples with different grids(i.e. how the demographics change) and now I want to write one for all of the 2000-now grids. Completely normal behavior what are you talking about

[reitziluz]

hard to focus on working on ch5 because my thoughts keep escaping to the suzukis. mostly to shou. i had such a poor grasp on him back then. completely underutilized the side plot with him. (honestly underutilized all the kids.) i need to tweak my outline and give it more scenes, or add it to some weaker scenes.

rn tho. thinking about his mom, and the reason why touichirou married her as stated in the fan book. also about touichirou and his whole situation post canon. spiraling based on nothing but the specific word choice when he swore off on psychic powers. the word for taboo he uses is also used to mean (medical) contraindication. but tbh all this in the context of shou's mom, who is she as a person who is related to all that. how does she feel about it.

how would all that translate to the hanahaki au.

[rxmxa]

𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 ❤️‍🔥

my ideas + observations on what lilith aspects might look like in daily life <3

Lilith-Sun Aspects: Getting noticed right away by people especially when a group setting, being liked by people on the surface level but secretly they disapprove or frown at your actions when you turn around, men judging you, standing your ground at all costs, not knowing when to back down, being a natural leader, challenging societal norms with who you are and forms of self expression, walking into a meeting or class wearing a bold outfit and peoples heads turning but not a word is uttered, getting dress-coded at work or school, your boss or teachers feeling uncomfortable to say something to you, people feeling like you are being "messy" when you question the norms, not addressing rumors. knowing you're gonn stir things up when you are walking into rooms and not caring, being told to change, being told you're too much, men wanting to date you but then wishing you would be "easy to work with" or wanting to date you and then get mad when they can't dominate you, you thinking "what don't they fucking understand? I just don't want to be like them" being afraid of your individuality not being recognized that you go to extremes at some moments

Lilith-Moon aspects: the type of people to actually answer with the truth when you ask them how they're doing and then you're kind of shook because you thought they were gonna sugarcoat and be like "I'm fine" being painfully honest or blunt, talking about feelings considered taboo (like no one really likes to talk about how they are jealous or bitter or other shit like that, they just hide it or project it) but lilith-moon will say they're feeling that shit. this reminds of the song wildflower by billie eilish. this aspect is women talking shit about you, having trauma with you, women in your life judging you or pointing fingers at you for not falling into the "good girl" category. being told you're wrong for how you feel, feeling intense or moody and other people being able to pick up on it, other people seeing you as magnetic but also unpredictable and they can admire you for being real with them but it also might scare them, mom saying you are a wild child or just too much to deal with when you get "emotional", you wanting to yell "no im not fucking okay and im not gonna sit here and pretend I am"

Lilith-Venus aspects: men want you and see being with you as a challenge, they want to be with you to show off but then get mad when they cant change you, being called a "tease" or saying that you lead people on, men lying about you, spreading rumors about you, men saying they "talked to you" or dated you after texting you LMAOOO.. just fucking lying! being villanized for your beauty, your beauty feeling like its making you a target, women seeing you as competition, women spreading rumors about your beauty (oh she probably got this and this done or oh she shes only pretty because xyz), men in relationships looking at you and thinking you are manipulating them when you're not doing anything, feeling like anything venus related (beauty, art, relationships) in your life gets distorted, your relationships always feeling like a battlefield, being sensual + in tune with your femininity and then people expect you to tone it down, you might do something like wear red lipstick or heels or a nice dress and be told its too much but someone without this energy in their chart probs wouldnt get that reaction, you wondering "what's the difference between me and her? Why do they treat her like that and me like this?"

Lilith-Mercury aspects: being blunt, hurting someones feelings without meaning to, getting criticized for whatever you say, trying to be more "polite" but then it feels so exhausting, cursing a lot, cursing from a very young age and/or in professional settings, saying what other people refuse to say for the sake of being polite or because its a "superior" this is the person that in the meeting will the supervisor "In my opinion, this isnt a good idea and it isnt helpful to us", people talking shit behind your back, the person who dissects other peoples words down to the stutter, punctuation and fucking COMMA! How did they say it? What word did they say first? lilith-mercury will read between the lines and force you to say what you are refusing to say or putting in a passive aggressive manner, might refuse to engage with passive agressive people until they say it with their chest, "could you repeat that?" energy, "what did you mean by that?" energy knowing damn well what they meant, talking about politics at the dinner table during the family reunion, talking about sex in the break room at work, playing the devils advocate, reading smut, writing smut, loving dirty talk. trying to use their words for something good but people always making them feel like everything they say is just always wrong, pausing before they strike with their tongue, hating small talk, feeling uncomfy with small talk, people trauma dumping or ovesharing or vice versa, feeling suspcious of people that use pretty words with them, they wonder "What do they want from me? They're trying to get something from me...."

Lilith-Mars aspects: the first to get to moving and get shit down, getting easily annoyed at people that dont have the same drive, being angry at weak people or people that cant keep their word, "Are you gonna help or just fucking stand there?", being seen as abrassive, people avoiding you or shrinking back because of it, men wanting to compete with you, people feeling threatened by your ambition, the type to get nice things in life and people spread rumors that you had to xyz to get it, people thinking you're being confrontational or too angry when you address something face to face and up front, feeling out of control with your anger as a kid, people trying to push your buttons to try to get a reaction of you and then acting shocked when they do, fiercely independent in their routines, working out intensely, craving intensity in relationships, lines blurring between love and war "If I'm going to be the bad guy might as well get something out of it"

Lilith-Saturn aspects: a major dislike of authoritative figures, feeling resentful at being told what to do, wanting to do the opposite of what you do, "im not following this rule just because its always been followed", setting your own standards and expectations, "I prefer to find out for myself", questioning the system or cultural and societal norms and traditions that you find antiquated or unfair, people respecting you for your disciple but wishing you were easier to boss around, other people saying you're too cold or detached but you just dont wanna give them the chance to fuck you over, finding peace in the space between order and chaos and you perfecting that mix, wondering if life would be easier if you were "softer", choosing to form your own opinions on people, "thanks but I can decide for myself", feeling like you're held to expectations other people aren't

Lilith-Pluto aspects: not afraid to talk about the ugly shit in life, the taboo, trauma, control, power struggles, fear, jealousy because youve been familiar with it before, people being a little afraid of you, people saying youre too intense or even dangerous, people projecting onto you and getting mad or "disgusted" with you when you see right through them, being able to pick up on changes in peoples mannerisms, digging deeper in conversations, people suddenly confessing things to you, people not understanding why they feel drawn to your presence, people either approach it or go in the other direction, you come across as someone who has been through a lot but its only made you stronger, "im not afraid of the dark parts of life", going through something traumatic and years later thinking about it and coming to realization that you wouldn't change a thing, that it made you who you are, being okay with being seen as the villian in someones story

[medusagorgongirl1]

Wanna know what I want to see more of in the Timkon Fandom? Good boyfriend Tim. I'm not saying fics that are 'Kon going through shit, and Tim is just there to be the 'good boyfriend that you could replace with literally any fucking character'

Im talking about Tim recognizing his anti social, pushing away the people he loves tendencies and realizing that he cannot act that way to Kon. I want Tim to realize the way the Kon love, and that he needs to put effort into making Kon feel loved. Like a lot of people that ship these think that they could just get together and tgat would be it, but like they would both have to effort into maintaining the relationship, and making the other feel loved and wanted.

Like I want Tim to start showing Kon more casual affection. Like throwing in the occasional pet name, holding hands more often, being more tactile, etc. Because kon thrives off of being reminded that he is loved. But like Kon would be thrown for a fucking loop every time Tim does something like that, because he knows that Tim is doing it for him, and that makes it 10 times more important. But like also vice versa with Kon acknowledging that sometimes Tim will throw his entire being in a case or project, and that's just how he is. Like I want Kon to understand that Tim is obsessive, like that's just a part of him and sometimes he just needs a bit of space to finish something before he can be a regular human again

It just, it annoys me that a lot of people that ship them don't think that their contrasting personalities and behaviors would ever cause any issues in their relationship. Like I wanna see more domestic timkon, where they have to work for their shared happiness

[urfavlarry]

Hii! Could you do SBG characters x reader who lost their eyes/sight in a phantom dimension? I'm in the mood for some angst and that one would be quite intresting!

SBG group x gn!reader

warnings: slight gore, angst, gagging, thr0wing up

genre: angst, fluff at the end

A/N: i love this sm!! but im not sure if you want the group as a whole.. or separate ?? :,) I did the group as a whole hope that’s okay <33

｡ ⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚⋆⋆ ｡

╰┈➤ ⋆｡‧˚ʚ 🚍���� ɞ˚‧｡⋆

You weren’t expecting any of this to happen. One minute you were all fighting off a phantom that was about to get inside the house while the others ran off to search for the keys for the jeep, and then suddenly you were grabbed by your face by some phantom. You hit it in its ribcage making it thrash around, which got you here, to this moment right now.

Your eyes, or where they used to be stung, you saw nothing but darkness and heard movement around you. You sob, screaming in pain which alerted the others inside the house. Everyone quickly got out of the house with the keys in hand and froze when they saw the gruesome scene in front of them. Some gagged, some threw up but they quickly got you inside the jeep and sped to the graveyard. “Shit, Shit..” You say and hold onto someones arm. The person holds you close and another person holds your hand. “Shh.. everything will be okay..” You recognize the voice as Taylor and just sob, praying for this torturous night to be over. There was blood everywhere on your face, you were wondering how you didn’t pass out from the pain and blood loss already. There was a lot of yelling and commotion in the car which you couldn’t quite understand because of the buzzing noise in your head. You feel your head getting heavy, your consciousness slipping from your fingers. Everyone yells your name, trying to shake you awake but you feel your body fall onto someone, not remembering what happened after that.

You jolt awake, your whole body shaking and covered in sweat. Your head was pounding and it felt like you were getting shot in the head over and over again. The area around your eyes felt numb and tingly, which you chose to ignore and take a shower. You sob slightly, hoping that everything that happened was just a bad dream. You instantly get whipped out of your thought when you hear your bell ringing like crazy. You sigh, getting changed into some comfortable clothes and walk downstairs to open the door. You were alone, your parents going on buiseness trips for as long as you could remember. But that’s a story for another day.

You immediately get jumped by Taylor who pulled you into a bone crushing hug, the others joining in. You get hoisted up by Ashlyn as the others lay down on the large bean bag you have in your living room. Ben lays down first, you next to him with Aiden on top of you and buried his face into your chest. Ash and Taylor held onto your side, and Logan who got into the pit of cuddles last, closed rhe blinds and turned on his playlist on a low volume and joined in on the fun. He layed down on ben, your head resting on Logans stomach. You layed there looking at the ceiling, thinking about last nights events. “I should’ve been more careful.” You think to yourself and sigh, earning the attention of Aiden and Ash. “Hey sunshine, what’s wrong?” Aiden asks, oh and yes, he has been calling you sunshine ever since you were paired up to do the project for some unknown reason. “Yeah, is it about last night?” Ash asks and rubs circles around your waist with her thumb.

You shrug slightly not even knowing how you feel. Yes you were scared and angry about what happened, but you can’t imagine how they must’ve felt after seeing you in such a state. “I just.. I don’t know.. I feel like I could’ve done better. Now I’m going to be a burden every time you will want to make a plan.” Ash looks at you sympathetically, the whole conversation catching the interest of Tyler and Logan. Logan perks up; “Hey, you’re not a burden. The only thing you are is brave. I don’t think any of us would be as strong as you in your situation.” He says and Tyler nods along; “Yeah, we all admire you for your bravery, and don’t worry we will help you pull through, don’t you ever think we will leave you behind.” He says and you smile, getting a warm feeling in your stomach. Your eyes slowly flutter closed. With a yawn you say one last thing before falling asleep; “Thanks guys, I’m grateful to have you all.”

[thatdeadaquarius]

Have some more language brainrot for your brainrot

Writer reader getting kind of insecure that even if they write something nobody will understand it, so when Al haithem askes you if he can keep a draft or two just for analyzing, there's hesitant agreement but ultimately you tell him to please burn the documents once he's done. They're too awkward to look at now...

Only he doesn't burn them, in fact he ends up recruiting several people close to the creator with knowledge of olden speak to analyze them. A funeral parlor consultant well known for his historical knowledge, a 500 year old shrine maiden who owns and runs her own publishing house, and a bard who somehow butted his way in on the project. None of them could resist the opportunity to witness the creator's sacred scriptures with their own eyes.

Needless to say, the papers ended up being fought over and have been making their rounds around your acolytes. It started with Ei, who insisted that as an archon she also should see the creator's work with her own eyes. Then once Ningguang found out, she ordered they be handed over to a team of literary analysts in order to be properly handled and deciphered. Things got really messy quick, but have luckily come to a halt as none of the acolytes want the creator to know their random writings are being fought over.

Especially when it comes to the creator's sullen additute. Their acolytes first have to convince their holiness that their inability to read and understand the creator's writing shouldn't prevent you from doing what you love. In fact... could they convince you to write some more?

WRITER OR READER WITH TALENTS HAS MY WHOLE HEART LIKE-

On one hand, same 💀 id be terrified for my all time fav skrunklies to see my bs

But at the same time i rlly wanna show them goddamit- THANK U FOR THE BRAIN FOOD IM RUNNING LAPS AROUND MY HOUSE THINKING ABT THIS-

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them), Writer!Reader

Planet: Language Shenanigans

Orbit: Scenario

Stars: Alhaitham mostly, some of Kaveh, mentions of other Sumeru characters

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Insecure about craft/writing, anxious first pov (not serious),

& Trigger Warnings: Mild Negative self-talk, insecure perspective/reader “you”, possible anxiety depiction.

You were not a very confident writer.

This had been an avoidable feeling ever since you picked up a pen for the first time and were asked to write a story for school.

You were always anxious turning in essays, letting friends proofread them, anything that would expose your writing to more eyes, because you’d learned the hard way early on that as you get older and better at something, the stuff from the beginning… starts to look a lot different than you remember.

things you used to be proud of after having completed them in the moment, were something you struggled not to rip to shreds a year or two after you re-found it.

If it weren’t for other writers advising holding onto old work so you can see your progress over time, you’d have probably literally nothing older than one year on your ao3, wattpad, etc…

So when you had the fortunate luck (no it is not unfortunately, you are very happy to be here tbh) to fall headfirst into your video game you’ve been obsessed with lately,

You were not planning on showing them any of your writing.

Why would you, after all? You’ve got the weapons, the artifacts, everything they need to be more powerful. Why would you show them a silly little story you wrote? Fanfic or otherwise, not that theyll recognize any characters besides themselves, but still.

Alhaitham, bc ofc it was alhaitham, cocky, deviously aware bastard he is, caught you writing in your spare time first.

You’d gotten your hands on an old journal (if made you feel better than something completely new, a nice worn leather journal, sold at a secondhand shop from an old adventurer) and had started to write what you could remember about some of your ideas you’d had drafts for in your old world

After initially walking in on you writing in the House of Daena (it was the closest you could get to lofi girl, god u missed her lmao), you nearly jumped a foot in the air bc Haitham’s a nosy bitch and leaned over your shoulder and scared the absolute shit out of you, mans goes from asking politely, to begging you to let him read some of your writing over the course of 3 weeks (a month really)

Finally, after this 6 ft (about 180cm) man leans down one day (you’re sitting writing again), and gives you the most insanely good?? puppy dog eyes??? you’ve ever seen on a man???

you give in, revise a draft about 5 times in a row, lose sleep bc ur having a breakdown about alhaitham judging ur writing the night before you give him his copy-

and hand over a small short story for him to read. you specifically leave a little note not to judge you so hard for Haitham bc u werent used to people reading ur work/let alone someone as highly academic as him, ESPECIALLY since your speech is already so much more archaic than his/all of Teyvats-

His stupid green eyes with diamonds look into your soul (are they sparkling??) and he braces your shoulders after you give him his copy,

“Mine Greatest Guide, you hath deemed this one worthy of thy trust of your creations personally, I would be a fool to gaze upon it in jest. To take this work as anything less than a masterpiece in its infant stages.”

…you just leave him to it, and are nearly running out of there (u managed to be calm enough to just speedwalk),

and you make a point to not ask what he thought about it, or even bring it up at all

you’re kind of hoping he forgot tbh… and so nothing happens!

◇

Nothing happens… for 2 weeks after you gave Haitham a copy of your short story.

You still don’t know Alhaitham’s opinion when you see the advertisement, a sign saying something about, a new book? By YOU???

You nearly start a mob because the shopkeeper insisted you sign some copies, but you only signed a few before too many people overwhelmed you, and seeing it was that same draft- !! Oh god, you’d been agonizing over the spelling errors you’d missed when you gave it to Alhaitham, and now it’s just out there???

(luckily it seems the reviews are positive, but dammit you’ve been rereading ur story u gave him for days, and now ur positive it’s shit-)

You make a break for it, and are literally running (more like speed-walking after a while, since u got further away) thru Sumeru City:

you pass by the open patio of a restaurant, the scholars are heatedly discussing ur characterization-

you pass by Dehya, Candace, and Dunyazard, the merc is waving around a copy of ur book, the other two women look excited abt the conversation-

oh my god-

Nahida is relaxing in one of the many little gazebos thruout Sumeru, while Wanderer seems to be reading your story to her-

You fucking track down Alhaitham’s house like a bloodhound.

You are banging the infamous gay roommates’ front door, panting til ur throat burns raw.

“Yes, yes, alright, greetings to you too! I was simply visiting the Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham, tis why I’m here- Greatest Lord?!”

Kaveh is nearly jumps a foot in the air at the sight of you, but recovers, (you’re still not tho lmao)

and invites you in bc apparently, Alhaitham’s been meaning to talk to you about your draft you gave him!

Oh yeah, you’ve got some words to give Haitham after giving him that damn draft privately-

But when he sees you, the fucker just- smiles??

Like he’s done nothing wrong???

You’re about to tear into him when he speaks first to tell you the good news!

He grabs your hands at the table and gets down on one knee, ohhhh no.

Alhaitham is giving you those damn begging puppy dog eyes again.

“My Greatest Lord, Giver of Power, and Guide to All, your exquisite story has entranced all of Teyvat, might I please insist you write a sequel? It is an excellent literary piece to analyze… or perhaps, even better, share other stories you’ve written??”

…

….Motherfucker.

☆

Hello I’m alive! I just took a longer-than-usual break between posts from those last 2 mammoth pieces about gifts,

1: bc they were a lot to write in between writing other stuff like fanfics im already working on lol 2: I got busy with holidays and trying to apply to jobs!

Not that I’m still not doing that.. but you get what I mean!

Safe Travels Anon,

That being said, as you’ve probably noticed, I’ve made a kofi! so if you ever liked my writing (hot mess it is) and want to show me some love, feel free to leave a tip! :]

Iced coffee?? :0

💀♒

☆

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[sweettlovinnmclovin]

As long as I have you | N.C 🩵

Back story ; In this situation, you're caught in a blend of professional ambition and personal emotions, which is natural when dealing with the intricacies of relationships, especially in the same industry. You've clearly worked hard to get to this point in your career, and the role you're excited about is something you've put your heart and effort into. But now you're facing a delicate situation with your ex, Nicholas, and his new girlfriend, both of whom are involved in the same project.

2 weeks have passed and you have yet to receive a call from production

your phone rings and you immediately answer .

“ Congrats you made it , we start next week please get in contact with your costars Nicholas and Victoria to set up a date to go over the script and practice on your own times. Listen y/n it’s very important you guys get this down, my team will email each of you the script.”

“ yes of course , thank you so much “ you end the call.

You sighed and thought to yourself

here goes nothing you say as you scroll through your contacts list “ Nick” it’s been over a year since you last talked or even texted me but you keep in mind this is for “ work “.

You decided to text him just to play it safe

“Good afternoon Nicholas this is y/n , I’m reaching out to you and Victoria to discuss a time and date to go over the script and practice whenever you guys are free”.

“ Hey that’s great give me one sec let me ask my girl real quick “

“My girl “ ouch that hurts

“ yea no worries just get back to me when ever you can”

“ yeah I’ll text you , thank you for reaching out to Victoria and I we appreciate it”

You read the text over and over again “ my girl”

You lock your phone and get up and clean your place up and after take shower to freshen up.

As you are showering you can’t help but to overthink, you question if he loves her , how serious are they , does she know you guys have a past ?

you ignore these thoughts and step out the shower , you put on a casual outfit yet comfy, minimal

Makeup just enough to help you look presentable.

You get a notification from nick

“ hey turns out Victoria only has couple of lines she’s prefers to go over these lines by herself , if you have time today we can meet up and go over the script”

“ no worries , would you like to come over my place I can send you my address “

“ yeah that’s fine “

You send over your address and finish tidying up and light up a candle, you set your iPad on the couch to go over the script together.

15 minutes later Nicholas arrives to your house

“ welcome , come in “ you say as you open the door for him

he looks around your house , smiles when he recognizes your furniture and pictures frames

“ very welcoming and cozy , very familiar “ he says as he settles in , resting his iPad on your coffee table

You notice it’s the iPad you gifted him for Christmas , wow he still has the iPad I gifted him you thought to yourself.

“ thank you , you know me” you smile and sit down beside him

“ so let’s get into it , can we talk about how our characters seems to have a pretty good sex life literally scene after scene they going at it like rabbits “ he chuckles

“ yeah i was going to ask if that’s okay with Victoria you know with us acting out these scenes i mean after all it does involve a lot of sex scenes and kis-

“ she doesn’t know “ he blurts out

“ what do you mean didn’t she get emailed the scrip-“ how strange you thought to yourself how wouldn’t she know I mean she had to know when auditioning

“No that’s not what I mean , she doesn’t know we ever dated “ he interrupts

“ oh , you never brought it up “ you murmur

“ can we just stick to the script and get it over with “ his mood completely changed, his eyebrows furrow together and he’s no longer smiling nor making jokes about the scenes.

Shit did I make him upset you thought to yourself

“ Im sorry I didn’t know she wasn’t aware I won’t bring it up an-

“ no I’m sorry , I should be the one apologizing I’m sorry I didn’t mean to but let’s just forget about it can we do that please “

You stop questioning him , after all she’s seemed like she was professional and was an actor herself and would understand this was in the script right ?

You jump right into the script after hours and hours you start to actually act it out as much as you wanted to avoid the kissing scene it was pointless because you had to do it one way or another

“ okay so then in this scene you cut me off by kissing me”you motion both of your hands together as if they are making out “then we end up hooking up and then after the sex we are cud-"

“ I’m sorry I keep interrupting but is there a reason you are talking about the scene instead of acting it out “ he ask with a confused look on his face

“ I just thought we should wait until we are on set you know that way it’s not weird” you respond

“ I doubt it , I mean it can’t be less weird then right now , you are literally making your hands make out “ he chuckles

“ fine “

You say your lines and lean towards him closing any gap

“ nick this is where you lean and kiss me “

“ oh like this , he motions his hands mocking you “ and chuckles

You roll your eyes in response

“ okay okay fine no more playing around let’s be serious “ he says trying not to laugh

“ nick “

“ okay take it from the top , ready “

You start by saying your lines and he does the same , you lean forward closing the gap once again and he does the same

You can feel your face hot and flushed yet you do what the script says and grab the collar of his shirt and leaned in to kiss him , he kisses you back and groan into the kiss as you close your eyes you can’t help but start to remember the times you would have rough sex and how kinky he was but so were you.

You get the urge to clench his hair pulling it softly as he sucks your bottom lip. He grabs you and sits you on his lap, your legs wrapped around his waist .

you roll your hips against him and grind on top of him slowly as he caresses your back and drawing small circles with his finger tips on your lower back and slowly trying to remove your top, leaving you exposed.

You start to feel him get aroused and you pull away

“ we should stop “you sigh

“ we are just doing what the script says “ he groans and bury his face into your breast sucking them and flicking his tongue against your nipple and gripping on to your waist tightly

“ Nick please “ you whimper “

this wasn’t in the script but you couldn’t stop him it felt to good to stop now

“ I’ve missed you , I’ve missed this so much “ he whispers and continues to fondle your breast and leaving small love bites.

“ you missed me ? “ you tease by rolling your hips against him

“yes baby I missed you so much “ he groans

You can feel his cock getting hard and firm

You get off his lap and get in your knees

“ did you miss my pretty little mouth “ you murmur

“ you have no idea baby” he growls and you can hear his breath hitch when he says it

“ i missed this pretty dick too “ you groan and start to unzip you his jeans and remove his briefs down to his knees and you take his shaft begin to stroke it and flicking your tongue against his pink tip licking the pre cum off his cock before taking it all.

You stroke his shaft with one hand before using both hands and continue to suck , gripping with your mouth and using your tongue occasionally to tease him and taking his cock out and slapping it lightly on your tongue causing his cock to twitch, you knew he was close but just the sight of him almost at his peak made your pussy throb

“ f-uck baby I’m so close “ he moans

“ be a good boy and cum in my mouth” you growl , he does as you say and you swallow it

You missed his taste , his touch and how needy he can get and most of all how good he made you feel .

You get up and remove your jeans along with your thong leaving you exposed

You can see how this has an effect on him the moment you see his cock glistening, you lick the precum off once again and get on top

“ do you miss this pussy “ you groan

“ yes baby , can I please touch you “ he whimpers

“ no not ye-“

“ please I need to be inside of it , I miss it so much please let me show you how bad I’ve missed it” he says eagerly

“ I said not yet , don’t be needy “ you growl

“ I’m tired of the teasing “ he whines

You lower yourself and sink down on his cock making it easier to slip it in.

Once His cock is inside you both gasp and moan , your walls clench around his cock as you ride him slowly and picking up the pace once you adjusted to his size

“ I’ve missed this dick so much “ you cry

he holds your waist tight as you ride him and when you look up you kiss him and suck on his tongue , he groans each time you kiss him and moans Into your mouth when you pick up the pace , you feel yourself close and your walls clench to his cock tighter. You dig your nails into his back and continue to ride him faster and moaning into his ear , as you throw your head back and glaze over at him you see him biting his lip and he places a firm hand over your neck chocking you , you grab his other hand and place it on your cheek “ slap me “ he does as you say and you feel the sting and a rush of heat however this turned you on and you loved when he was rough with you .

You continue to moan louder until they sounded hoarse due to him choking you and you moaning loudly

“ I’m so close baby, can I cum “ you whine

“ let it go baby , cum all over me” he groans as he grabs your hips and starts move his hips fucking you back

You cream all over his cock but he continues to thrust himself into you harder and faster

“ babyy- I can’t take it, I’m gon-“ you cry as your breath gets heavier and more hitched and continue to moan louder with each thrust

At this point you are speechless and only moans coming out of you

“ what happened baby cat got your tongue “ he smirks

And picks up the pace making you cum all over his cock again but he doesn’t stop he continues to thrust harder and faster, this time you squirt

“ fuck you feel so good baby “

“ your so fucking wet”

“ best pussy I’ve had “ he growls and continues to praise you

You tumble over , chest heaving and he grabs your waist and started to leave wet kisses on your back , you can’t help but arch your back to his touch.

“ I can’t get enough of you “ he groans

You can’t help but bring up his gf and say

“ nick is she better than me ? “

“ does she make you feel this good “ he doesn’t answer at first so you grab his shaft and press your ass against him and start to throw it back , causing him to bury himself into you and dropping a kiss to your back, you get shivers and your eyes roll back .

As good as he made you feel rn you wanted to know

“ answer me Nick , does she make you feel this good “ you spat

He grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls it causing you to gasp and moan once he starts to thrust himself into you harder.

you felt him twitching inside as your pussy clenched on to his cock

He slaps your ass and puts his thumb over your anus and continues to spank you

You moan to his touch, you feel it sting yet it feels good.

“ I said best pussy I had didn’t I “ he growls

“Show me you love this pussy daddy “ you moan

He continues to thrust harder and faster and groaning “ who’s dick is it baby “ he growls ,

“ mine baby it’s all mine “ you cry out as he grabs your arms putting them behind you and causing you to moan louder and louder you press your head down and muffle your moans into the pillow unable to grip the sofa, you feel his cock twitch and know he’s close but he continues to thrust , slamming harder until he slows down his rhythm and reaches his peak and cums inside of you , he pulls out and watches his cum come out of your pussy and cleans you up after and kisses your cheek

“ I must confess y/n , Victoria and I been broken up for a week now, when you contacted me I wasn’t sure if you had someone and when we started to go over the script I could sense how nervous you were and were trying to avoid even touching me, I really do miss you and you don’t have to give me an answer now but I would like for us to try again”

“ why didn’t you tell me “ you blurt out

“ we just weren’t working out I realized I still had feelings for you and knowing you would have to work with me everyday I just knew the feelings I had for you were stronger and we’re gonna grow stronger each day , I love you y/n and I’m sorry for hurting you in the past I promise you if you let me, I will be better for you “ he says as he reached over your hand and kisses it repeated and even your wrist up to your arm and collarbone, cheek and till he’s close to your lips and gives you a peck

“Plus seeing you jealous made me realize you might feel the same way. “

You can’t help but to feel relived you’re glad he’s single and available, nobody cheated.

“ Nick I love you too , I don’t want to lose you again but if we are going to work on us again let’s take it’s slow”.

“ whatever you want baby as long as I have you “ he kisses you and deepens the kiss by sucking the tip of your tongue & the rest of the night you spend showing each other how much you loved each other , went over the script and made love again.

The end

P.S

I don’t think cheating is okay at all , also if the story is wack I’m so sowwyyyy okay it’s like my second time writing a smut 😔 but thank you for the love on my first smut I appreciate it

I was seeing the likes over thanksgiving and I was like

[stemcellee]

november 25 2024

i haven't really put a lot of words out there recently but i think i finally have something to get off my chest after thinking about it for a while...and to avoid spam it's under the cut D:

happy holidays to everyone though can't believe the season is already here!!!

med school is so hard!! i admit when i first got in, i was like "im not gonna let it get to me. i have amazing stress management skills and i'll handle everything so well!!" and then i fought a lot with dissapointment in myself when i was struggling with things i never imagined.

stuff i feel like i wasn't prepared for:

the constant worry about not doing enough. you see snippets of other people's lives when they are productive and it makes you feel like everyone is so much more productive than you

how hard it can be to compartmentalized. both ways!! when i'm relaxing ("relaxing") i'm planning how to somehow be productive while relaxing. when i'm working, im wishing so bad i had spent my relaxing time ACtually relaxing

attachment. this feels like such a personal problem but when i'm doing practice questions the clinical vignette is consistently similar to people in my life who have been affected by the pathologies i'm about to be tested on. a 70 year old woman with hypertension and diabetes...succumbs to decompensated heart failure. a 50 year old woman has bouts of angina...and suffers a massive MI. a 60 year old male is rushed to the hospital for chest pain...and dies of ventricular arrythmia an hour later. it's so scary thinking about how your parents and loved ones could be those patients!! it motivates me to make sure i learn these things for my future patients but it's sad carrying this around. i guess this is part of why i went to med school anyways...

how easy it is to forget about yourself. i will have days of highly productive focused studying/work but suddenly will get slapped with an unexpected migraine. i am getting a lot better about this but i have to remember that working out, eating well, etc are not wastes of time. i need to preserve myself most importantly becasue without me, i can't even do any of this!!

last thing. projection. i find myself making up problems sometimes that i think is a coping mechanism for projecting my own frustrations into something to blame. like studying is tough and i get frustrated that it doesn't come as easily to me sometimes, so i feel upset that things aren't how i expected them to be, like if i had more support id be happier/better at studying etc. while that's true, i recognize it's also a coping mechanism to place the blame externally...

anyways yeah there are a lot of things i've been thinking about in the thick of it all. med school is not what i expected it to be, and i really cannot blame others for not knowing what to expect either because truly you cannot anticipate how you will feel. thanks for reading it's been a min