#i really want online friends too
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PLEASE
REBLOG IF ITS OKAY TO TALK TO YOU.
Please.
#i’m so lonely lol#i really want online friends too#dms are always open#i hate irl people so much#online people are so much better
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one of my favorite (/sarcastic but not really cuz its like funny idk) things in fandoms is when people make ocs or self inserts or 'x readers' being shipped with characters, but the oc/sona/reader is literally just another character from the source material.. its like youre shipping the characters but didnt want to admit it, so you made a kinsona and branded it as something else..
and its NEVER subtle, actually its super blatant every time and im always shocked when nobody points it out..
i have seen uncountable saiki k x readers where the description is like:
"saiki meets someone whose thoughts he cant read for the first time, and even though he doesnt trust her at first, she keeps proving that she is kind and has good intentions!" you mean nendo? reader is girl nendo?
"this time, he meets a girl whose thoughts honestly match up with her spoken words almost perfectly for the first time!" hairo. youre shipping saiki with girl hairo.
"saiki meets someone whose thoughts are too fast and jumbled to re-" ITS AKECHI, THATS AKECHI, ITS LITERALLY AKECHI.
"saiki meets someone whose just as immune to teruhashi as he is for the first and only tim-" this is hairo again, awe bae you secretly LOVE haisai ?!?
"saiki sees his old childhood friend for the first time in years after an incident caused them to be apart and then they fall in lov-" WHY DID YOU EVEN WRITE THIS AND NOT CALL IT SAIKECHI.
its even funnier when they say its like that characters little sister, but the way they write it is still literally just the character, like their personality, dialogue, even their relationship, is the same..
not all of them fit this exactly, but the ones that take a boy character and turn them into a girl oc to ship them with a boy, it reminds of how in equestria girls they couldnt make applejack and rarity endgame so they gave them boyfriends who looked IDENTICAL to each other.. thats what youre creating, guys, youre creating heterosexual rarijack.
#these r all very specific examples because ive seen all of them#MAKE UR KINSONAS SHAMELESSLY IF UR GONNA DO THIS BRO OMG#STOP PRETENDING ITS LIKE AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER IF UR JUST GONNA COPY IT ALL#i love kinsonas i would love to see actual kinsonas even if u structure them as 'x oc/reader'#none of these words are in the bible#say this to any not chronically online person and watch them short circuit#saiki k x reader fics are almost always like 'and then y/n SHATTERS TERUHASHIS EGO AND HUMBLES HER SO GOOD' ur sick in the head#x readers where they want to be the only person he likes and hes an asshole to everyone else also suck but-#people thinking he genuinely hates his friends is a phenomenon not exclusive to x readers lol its just far too common#sorry that was a side note#theyre not all bad#i dont even think the ones im talking about in the post are really bad- its just kinda dumb and silly#do what u want queens#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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hi everyone 👋 just a heads up im going to be temporarily moving to a different blog for a bit (ive been a bit overstimulated in life lately and want something a bit more lowkey where i can just chill w a handfull of mutuals) so yeah mutuals feel free to ask for it but its empty rn lol
#generally speaking i feel as if i havent really been ''online'' lately so theres this weird disconnect i feel but like#i still wanna have fun w my online friends!!!! i just want a liiiittle break from feeling too many eyes on me methinks#like i am leaving a big party to go to a small hangout you understand what i mean. i will come back to the party too
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This isn’t the first time this isn’t the first time
My inability to initiate conversations even when I want to is like—I don’t even know anymore someone help
@signanothername oh hi there uhh
Ignore the ranting in tags :)
#when you really want to talk to someone#but won’t say anything#I don’t even know what to do with tumblr messages#it feels awkward to just like#idk words are hard#why I gotta be as shy as irl why can’t I get a different personality online >:(#tho I start ranting once I feel better aaa#wait I might be talking too much rn#uhhh#my artwork#digital art#ink sans#utmv#art#artwork#my art#undertale#wait I think it’s because I’d always start conversations#then I’d patiently wait like two months for a response#I had only one online friend and I didn’t feel like making anymore back then#also none of my irl friends liked Undertale enough to understand or follow along#so like I just repeated it all over#I remember ranting so much I filled out discord word count so much aaa#does this make sense??#digital illustration#artists on tumblr
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I’ll go into a social media exile for a bit, so idk when I’ll be back, but just picture me like this while I’m gone: working <3

#I hope to pass my exams and to have answers regarding my project when I’ll back#bye moots. I really like interacting with all of you :)) 💗#I’m leaving here Machia to look after my blog. bro better do a good job>:(#I’ve deleted the last stands of social from my phone and I’m currently blogging from my tablet(but soon it will be gone on here too).#bye Pinterest. bye YouTube#and bye tumblr for now(?)#even if I have already reduced both my online engagement and internet footprint in the past three years I always found myself attached to#the few socials that I have and until I’m not in full control I don’t want to have anything to do with any of them.#if anyone wants to ever chat I’m still on discord tho!#💗💗#ultimamente poi ho scoperto che esistono anche persone qui che condividono i miei interessi per la letteratura e l’antichità#ed è stata proprio una bella sorpresa perché non pensavo esistessero spazi online per condividere in modo divertente queste passioni#anche se da tempo cercavo un luogo del genere. dove poter semplicemente scherzare sugli uomini e donne vecchi come il mondo ai quali tengo#manco fossero mia sorella#I’m making such a scene (again)#there must be a reason as for why my friend call me drama queen constantly;)#ngl im honestly kinda excited to be totally out of touch with pop culture. idk#I just have this postive idea about it#( I have schedule a post for the 21st of September if I’m not back in time to post it lol)#byeee 🫶🫶🫶#my blog stuff
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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#feeling really lonely lately and idk why#i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol#but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol#cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people#so i convince myself that i'm better alone#and i am for the most part#but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair#like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude#were healthier than now#because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit#and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still#and i fully know I'M the problem#cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs#(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all#and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol#i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today#but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on#if only i could be a normal person... sigh#angel talks#personal
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my favourite part of block tales is them putting lore text with random npcs . like yeah these snowmen know you were from the future
also see: the necrobloxian talking about you being from the future
tldr i think the end of the game should/will be a split ending between staying in the past or returning to the future
#shoutout to one of the five total accountant jim fans for telling me to post this#also i really like how at first glance youd think this game is a “oh so retro” game meanwhile the lore is being sen back in time to go to t#good ol days of roblox . the good ol days when you were still a young kid who spent all day having fun online with your friends#the world is cruel but once you go back to your past you want to return back to the present because in the end it all seemed a lot better#ok im yapping too much im meant to be charging my phone TLDR i think this games gonna be especially interesting from here on out
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3 year old messages cannot be having me giggling out loud it is three am. Sighs. I think more than anything I just miss having the energy to text as many people as often as I used to. I miss late night conversations while barely awake and memorizing timezones and inside jokes and well okay maybe I do miss specific people. I miss the groupchats and servers and communities i was a part of... especially now when I feel such a lack of community around me.... :/
#like i have friends! but i dont really go to events or have a community to be a part of and i barely participate in events online. and its#like i want to and know i should i just try to do things and its so exhausting and i never do what i need to or have the energy#like i try to do events like artfight and other things ive signed up for but i cant physically get myself to do my part because its taking#all my strength to like. be alive and im not even doing that well. ive been kinda active in this one hsr server which has been very nice but#ive been unable to keep up with it lately so all progress has been lost and i feel like in such a big group i missed the jokes and stuff and#im too far behind to ever catch up. which isnt true but its tiring and hard and god. everythings so hard. does it ahve to be??#i miss who i was a few years ago and miss the people i was around and i feel like theyre better off without me but god. god .#i hope theyre doing well and happy and their parents are nicer to them and theyre succeeding in all the ways that ive been failing#.ares
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thank you so much for spreading comics love and (how to read them advice) advice!! helps to cope with how hard and/or expensive they are to get where i live while also motivating me enough to look for solutions or seize the opportunity if i do see one at some point <3
of course !!! what's a community if we ain't doin community things yk :]] ik comics can be kinda confusing or just. Overwhelming so if i can help in any way with pickin em up an readin em im glad to do so !!!!
ive only just started picking up comics again after maaaaybe just shy of a decade so it'll be a fun journey for all of us ^^
#snap chats#theres a lotta fun in the comics and a lotta fun to talk bout so i def wanna help people read them if i can !!!#you can def find a lot of runs online for free also ! i dont think theres one i /havent/ found honestly and its free easy to do#im lucky that my shop sells their stuff for a /lil/ cheaper than retail prices but it can get. pricey still 💀#although i def prefer physical theres def nothing wrong with going digital either ! def useful for when i needa grab pages real quick too#i read the 60's comics online and i prob will for most of the copper age as well unless Again theres some stuff i want physical#i just get physicals of issues i really like or ones that pique my interest while im out in the wild#like today i picked up first class Band of Brothers and Wonder Years cause i was just flippin through and found them interestin#CANNOT wait to read through those at some point .... after legion of x .... /after/ new mutants .....#christ i gave myself a lot to read BUT IM EXCITED and im excited to share whatever i find fun from those with yall :]#but yayaya !!!! happy readings my friends- however you do so :] !!!!
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you can now buy my little orufrey zine i made!
a 36 page, b&w a5 amateur zine made up of orufrey art i've drawn this year so far. alone is £6 + shipping and they can also come with a mini print add-on, a 4x6 photo print for £8.50 total.
the first 6 orders will come with a free official bromide :)
#i have 2 easthies 2 coco 1 tartah and 1 olruggio -#i don't really know how to gauge this or how many i'll sell or how quick or anything really so uh..assume you're just getting the zine..#but if you want this and you order asap then let me know in the notes if you'd like any of them or you'd not want a certain character haha#AND BEAR WITH MEEEEE this is the first time i've ever done something like this! it took kinda a lot of setup#but it seems bigcartel is pretty nice. we'll see how this goes lol#idk if that's even too much or too little for a zine but someone advised me that it's fine so...That's how it goes#it's all art that's online anyway haha but i'm like..disabled and stuff..it's a way to help me out & own my art @ the same time if u want..#this is my first ever time printing my own work so it's not like. professional quality#but this is how 'zines' are supposed to be after all!#international shipping btw! shipping won't be too much since it's less than 100g and same whether or not there's a print/bromide!#i think i can ship anywhere?????? the royal mail said so.....i hope that's true...#paypal or stripe is ok btw.. if this goes well i will make and sell more stuff...i like printing..#OH BRUSHBUG AND TASSELS NOT INCLUDED............they are my friends
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being needy and starved of all types of human interactions & relationships And having a generally unpleasant personality n being unattractive on top of that really doesnt mix well huh
#read: want friends but im weird#at least online im not like As scared to talk to ppl but irl.... bro#anyways these typa self deprecating ahh thoughts really seem to intensify after 10 pm it may be what pushes me to start sleeping on time#too tired to deal w crying every night yk🙅🏼🙅🏼#vent#this is embarrasing#everyday i break the record of just how pathetic a human being can be 💪🏼💪🏼🔥🔥🔥#anyways flick of the wrist by queen slaps HARD everyone should listen to it i yhink
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I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.
#delete later#I know I’m not a good friend#but i think it’s trauma related#and I know that’s not an excuse#but a reason#and I’m just… also tired of people leaving me#I don’t strike up conversations anymore cause I was the friend who always did so#I was always the one making the effort to be in other peoples lives#and it sucks. ya know.#and sometimes I say dumb things that then like….. makes people not want to be around me I fear#and like…. yeah…. that’s part of life#but I’m just so tired of being alone#I want friends. I want people to send post cards and letters too#and I wanna hang out with people#and I want them to tell me things I want them to tell me how they are feeling#like. online friends are great!!#don’t get me wrong!!#but I know I’m not a great online friend either.#and when I try to be I fear I come off as flirting. like sometimes I am. don’t get me wrong#but I wish I could just… go to a friends house and sit with them and hold their hand when they are having a bad day and have the same done#for me!!!#I am always giving…. I am always giving parts of myself to people who don’t give themselves back#I still know my ex-best friends favorite color but I doubt she knows what mine was when we where friends#if you read this far just…. ignore it oof.#it’s just a rant#sometimes I rant in a tumblr post cause reading rants back in old journals is. bad. for my mental health#my adhd just picks the emotions right back up and then I go through it again. so it’s best to tumblr rant#I’ve also been having complicated gender emotions again#I don’t hate the idea of being a woman/girl as much as I used to. and it’s throwing me off a bit#I mean it’s right on time really… I have a gender crisis almost every four years…
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3am doodles of some goofy little train faces :)
#trainrotting#ttte#ttte gordon#ttte thomas#I need to doodle Edward too#he’s my favorite tied with Gordon grahhhh#anyway these aren’t meant to be good they’re just meant for me to create literally anything#been in a massive creative rut for YEARS now so ykw any sort of art attempt is progress#even if it’s goofy trains#idc y’all it’s healing my inner screaming toddler#also if you know me irl you DON’T. ily but shoooooo this blog was meant to be anonymous 😭#I just want ONE place on the internet where irls don’t know me HAH#I get too self conscious about my media and things I think are funny when I have to see someone in person (or a close online friend)#and have to explain to them why I have a tumblr full of train art and ninjago memes#anyway. trains#Thomas the tank engine#Thomas the tank engine fanart#(sort of) (it’s not well done enough to really count but it’s definitely trying to be Gordon LOL)#also sorry for the low quality pics HAH I’m drawing with one lamp so not a ton of light#anyway i’m rambling
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Not to make “tag vent sunday” a thing but Idk how I can go from having a great string of days where I feel happy and confident to just. Randomly fucking dropping. And feeling like the actual worst.
#okay so here’s the thing#QB and I have been doing lil activities online lately#which helps him with his stuff he has going on and helps me to not feel fucking lonely all the time#bc i had another hangout friend but I Very Much Screwed That Up Tee-Bee-Aych#so I’ve been late to most hangouts. i constantly have little issues pop up where I’m so sure I’ll piss him off#friday night like an hour into the hangout I went ‘idk how to say this but like i recgonize I’m being quiet and if you want me to talk more#please lemme know’ and he told me that he was having some worries attached to that so we talked things out and it was fine#ITS ALWAYS FINE#AND SOMETIMES THAT IS WHAT PUTS ME ON EDGE OR MAKES ME START FUCKING CRYING (off call) WHICH IS EMBARRASSING TO ADMIT BUT LIKE#LOOK I LOVE THAT HE’S PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING. ONLY OTHER PERSON I KNOW WHO HAS THAT LEVEL OF CHILL IS MY ACTUAL PARTNER#BUT I’M SO FUCKING SURE THAT I WILL SCREW IT UP TERRIBLY. LIKE DISASTROUSLY.#SO LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? BECAUSE PART OF MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME TO JUST GHOST EVERYONE AND RUN AWAY#SO THAT I CAN AT LEAST CONTROL THE OUTCOME BUT LIKE#I REALLY WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH QB AND WB AND BB AND I’M STRUGGLING SO HARD WITH THIS#like lowkey the thought of screwing up in the same way I always have is literally painful and my chest is killing me I just—#god I fucking hate this shit#can I get the stardew heart ranking system please?? so I know exactly where I stand all the time???#I don’t necessarily trust people to tell me what I’m doing wrong until it’s too late
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HEY here is my Switch friend code for anyone who wants it! the only games i really play online are Splatoon and Mario Kart, but i’m trying to make an effort to be more accessible and open again so if anyone wants to add then feel free :)
#i had to change my name to Duck Twacy since i wanted that to be my name in Mario Kart but forgot you can’t have “’nicknames’ in it boo#but maybe Duck Twacy is more recognizable than Eliza. who knows. just feels funny without a Daffy icon! naked even!#and i really do aim to get back to all my asks and DMs THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE GUYS SERIOUSLY#i’ve been so buried by work (in a good way! because i love my work but i think i’ve neglected to take proper care of myself in favor of#constantly feeling i need to grind whether with work or reviews or anything) so i really am determined to detach a little and be more open#and indulgent and ALL THAT FUN STUFF#how does sharing my friend code tie into that? you tell me!#(ID ALSO OFFER TO PLAY ACNH ONLINE TOO but i have terminal restart my island itis so there’s really nothing to do… it’s been a chronic habi#since i first started playing the Animal Crossing series as a little kid whoops)#but it’s been one of my lifelong loves too
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