#i really shouldnt do it
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i guess the question is just what do i do now
#other than the obvious thing which wouldn’t be fair to my mom#whos the only person in the world that actually likes me i think#when did i go wrong#was it the “power” and responsibility#was it letting the word actually creep into my already horrendously annoying vocabulary??#all questions i shout into the void until my therapy session tomorrow#where i spend the whole time debating whether or not to tell my psych how badly i wanna walk into the ocean and never walk out#im just tired#why do i bother suffering so much if i cant make myself into a person anyone even wants around#its to bad i dont have deadly anaphylaxis reactions to anything#it'd make shit a lot easier#i guess i should finally play disco elysium#but the problem with that is I'll wanna talk to people about it afterwards#and im not cut out to talk to people#i really shouldnt do it#i thought I'd figured it oit but turns out i didnt
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Ok ok ok SO!
I think everyone has realized that Leola was autistic. It was heavily implied both through the flashback images and Aaravos' narration-
She lined up her toys, flapped her hands (it was also shown in the trial scene), seemed to be sensitive towards loud sounds (like the other startouch elves when they talked), and walked on her tiptoes. All of those are classic signs of autism.
But there's one thing I haven't seen anyone else bring up, and that's that her giving her human friends magic and breaking the "cosmic order" or whatever could also be because of her neurotype!
Autistic people tend to have very strict senses of morality and fairness, and will disregard rules if they don't fit their idea of right or wrong. Personal example here, I used to constantly do things I was told not to because I thought the rules in question were bogus.
It's not hard to guess that Leola would find the rules about humans not having magic to be unfair- after all, her and all the other elves, and even the animals around them are full of it! So in the mind of an autistic child, this would be incredibly unfair. And she had the power to "fix" the situation! So why wouldn't she?
Why wouldn't she try to help her friends? Because it would break the cosmic order? That's vague as hell and she was a KID!
And the startouch elves atomized her, for breaking a rule she probably only half understood and thought was stupid. Because she was autistic.
Had this thought and wanted to share, makes the whole thing even more tragic.
#tdp#the dragon prince#the dragon prince season 6#tdp spoilers#the dragon prince spoilers#tdp leola#tdp meta#this show really shouldnt be rated tv-y7 my god#tbh i would do the same damn thing in aaravos' position ngl
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I know several other people have redrawn that one official cloudtail & brightheart art but i wanted to take a crack at it. Hire me harpercollins.
[ID: a digital painting of Cloudtail and Brightheart from Warriors in a semi-realistic style. Cloudtail is a fluffy white cat with blue eyes, and Brightheart is a ginger-and-white cat with one blue eye and heavy scarring on the other side of her face, including an empty eyesocket, shredded ear, and part of her lip torn away to reveal her teeth. The cats are facing towards the viewer, looking happy, with Brightheart leaning her head into Cloudtail's muzzle. They are in a field of tall grass with mountains visible in the background and a tree with a few leaves looming over them. End ID]
Original below the cut for comparison
[ID: a painting similar to the first one, but Brightheart and Cloudtail are drawn in a more realistic style, lacking expression, and not leaning into each other. Brightheart has much less ginger on her pelt and her scarring is reduced to a few scratches on her eye. End ID]
#am i a cat artist now??? ok whatever theyre fun#Mainly i wanted to fix brights appearance and make them more affectionate bc they Are Mates like one of the healthiest canon couples#also i guess its kinda hard to tell but i wanted to imply bright is lying down instead of being much shorter than cloudtail for some reason#But um. i also dont really like the style of the new english official art lol. the smudge tool fur...#And cats are super expressive irl like a realistic style shouldnt prevent cat art from looking expressive?? Anyway.#warrior cats#warriors#wc#brightheart#cloudtail#brightcloud#cloudbright#art#2024#I drew this in one sitting why did i do that
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in the bathroom at the gay clubbbb
#a less edited version added for plausible deniability that its not a mirror selfie#bc i know astarion shouldnt be visible in the mirror. but the vision was too strong#anyways on the dancefloor shadowheart is doing those goth girl dances from tiktok#and astarion is doing the fork in the garbage disposal#they dont get any btw bc they get too drunk on tequila and end up throwing up outside and#astarion has to call wyll to pick them up. he does of course#at the same time laezel and karlach are getting into a bar brawl someplace else#and gale is going snork mimimi at home:)#i really like how the shading came out here. adding highlights really helps with 3d shapes#and the way ive shaded shadowhearts torso had me feeling like pygmalion ngl#bg3#baldurs gate#baldurs gate 3#shadowheart#astarion#astarion ancunin#bg3 modern au#i NEED to draw shad in more outfits
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Thanks.
Prev
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#comic#The 'Thanks' after all of that makes me so insane Im not even sure I can fully articulate why#I mean. He got what he wanted. Honesty. Thats what you wanted right Dev?#what else do you say to that#He's spent his whole life being sure he knew the answer. That deep DEEP down dale did love him#Have you ever seen that post thats like“I was bawling my eyes out and somebody told me to shut up and I was so taken aback I stopped crying#I think he was so stunned that he just stopped crying.#or like when you get so upset that your feelings turn themselves off to protect you#is that a normal thing that happens to people Erm. anyway#Sorry lol as someone born to parents who.. should not have had me. Writing dale basically admitting as much is actually really cathartic#He shouldnt have had Dev. He doesnt love him. He cant. Dev cant do anything to change it. Its just a fact.#Hes not 1:1 with my parents they tried their best ig but like. their best was still pretty awful child neglect LOL
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i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.
and that should be fine; but it's never fine.
i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.
for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.
we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.
i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.
restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.
#hobbies#writeblr#what stage of weirdness to write about hobbies on my hobby writing blog#although i know OBJECTIVELY i am a creative person#i often forget to label myself that bc i don't feel im an ARTISTIC person bc i don't do anything like that professionally#writing doesn't even feel like a hobby i think that surprises nobody for me to be like#it would be easier for me to stop . like. breathing.#which feels cheesy and trite but listen im running late for a meeting and all i really want to say is like#i couldn't even consider writing my hobby bc it makes my skin crawl bc it makes it sound like it's not important to me#bc we really devalue hobbies. like entirely.#it HAS to be a job. it must#also idk if this is clear but i personally get stuck in this space where i CANT create bc i am putting so much pressure on myself#to make it RIGHT#and im like ... idk i only have an hour#so probably shouldnt get involved in this thing
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Lil hater Leo in honor of me FINALLY getting out of bed. Idk what happened to me today but I couldn't get out bed for the longest time ;-;
Anyway just like me, Leo also managed to get out of bed. Now, I for the life of me couldn't figure out what I would want someone to say to me in this situation, so I went the silly route. Probably don't actually say this to someone, I genuinely don't know what I would have wanted someone to say if there were anyone for me to apologize too :/
Anyway here's a transcript:
Leo: I'm sorry...I was supposed to cook dinner, but I did nothing all day...
Yuichi: it's okay!
Yuichi: in the wise words of my great-great-great-grandfather...it just be like that!
Leo, thinking: idk why this is making me feel better
Leo: he did NOT say that
Yuichi: he did, I swear
Anyway I once again would not recommend actually saying this and I don't think Yuichi WOULD say this, but I couldn't think of what I would want someone to say so :/
#rottmnt#art#fanart#digital art#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt leo#comic#rottmnt fanfic#rottmnt comic#rottmnt art#lil hater#lil hater au#i feel like im gonna get hate for this cause yu shouldnt say that and yall are so right#but also genuinely this was me today and i would personally rather have someone say its okay and then change the subje t#but thats cause no one has ever really said ' its okay to not do anything all day' in my family :/#anyway lemme know if this needs trigger warnings pls#leosagi
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it really just strikes me how many americans are just.. selfish. how many simply dont care about anyone but themselves. sure trump will cause so so much harm to so so many people, but im not one of them, and he says he'll fix the one thing that does affect me, so of course ill vote for him. sure trump is really bad, but harris isnt perfect, so of course i just wont vote at all. trump and harris are the same, so of course ill vote third party
#us politics#us elections#'but the economy-' shut the fuck up about the economy u dont kno shit abut the economy#if trump does what hes promised to do i promise u the economy Will get worse#'but gaza-' i shouldnt have to fucking explain to u again how trump will be far worse for palestine than anything harris could do in office#its not even trump too. we might have a gop trifecta on our hands. a literal worse case scenario#i kno its not officially over. but its really not looking good
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How would you redesign Headmaster Magneto? Just out pf curiousity because while he served it didn’t feel like… Erik.
i have to keep it 100 i have no idea without just. rerunning his original design but with a palette swap LOL but we try around here
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#snap sketches#CAUSE LIIIKEE i want to keep SOMEE elements of the headmaster look obviously#i like its design intent. or how i see its design anyway idfk .... idk what im sayin im sleepy#just gotta. throw a few more things on there .... maybe... again i dont know 😔#the bigass M just makes me think of megaman gigamix i cant even lie#having/wanting to keep this as a one piece/leotard with that big ass m is probablyl whats stumping me if im so tbh#for some reason the lack of 'underwear' and helmet really is doing a lot for it Not feeling like magneto#the helmet i get Thats His Symbol ATP but the underwear ..... girl idk Strong Man or something like that#its just awkward because headmaster magneto is Supposed to be more tame or . 'domesticated' i guess vjALKE#not less powerful but he shouldnt be as intimidating/outwardly powerful if. that makes sense???#the first thought seeing him shouldnt be 'hes going to stomp me to death' it should be. Not That LKVJAEKj#BUT AT LEAAASSST in the back of the mind being likek 'he could probably stomp me to death'#SOME power but not to a threatening degree idfk what im saying my TUMMY IS RUMBLIGN AGAIN#what did i eat todasy. i ate like five hot pockets today thats what i ate. and some grapes#idk im tired. maybe ill try this again down the line#anyway enjoy if you can. saturday is upon us which means i can DOODLE AGAIN
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i know sebastian probably doesn't want his face covered for a whole movie but like if they ARE doing winter soldier stuff they SHOULD have him wear a cute little face covering thing ONCE. for ME
#FOR ME..........this is my list of requests in total#if we really truly are against all reason doing winter soldier bullshit i HUMBLY REQUEST#1) screechy theme noise 2) he covers the bottom half of his face one singular time For Me that's it. that's all#the hair's bad we can't fix that now and bucky shouldnt be here at all but with these two small additions i can attempt forgiveness#kayvswords
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Shame on everyone who has money but chose/is choosing to spend it donating to ao3 or some streaming service instead of saving someone’s life
#i dont know#i know i shouldnt really talk because i cant do anything with money#but i would if i could…#i mean#how can you be so heartless#i mean yes this applies to Palestine#but also for donating to Sudan the dr of Congo#there are so so many ways to spend your money in a better way#my posts
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They're Tired
Lineart available for download on my patreon if any of yall wanna colour them
KoFi || Patreon
#sad•leonart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise leo#rise leonardo#rise future leo#rise ruture leonardo#rottmnt leo#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt future leo#rottmnt future leonardo#damn. tumblr really killed the quality on this one#had lyrics and dialogue ideas but none of them stuck#also i fucking hate it#the second metal knee thing shouldnt be visilbe according to the foot position#but i only noticed after i completely finished#i do really love how the mask tails came out tho#if i get any weird comments on this i will fight#because that was a consistent thought throughout the whole fucking 6 hour process#i should stop venting in the tags slfjsldjfsd#vent art#technically#probably shoulda put a shadow under them#oh well
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#mahoutsukai no yome#mtnyedit#mahou tsukai no yome#the ancient magus bride#allanimanga#animangahive#anisource#dailyanime#animeedit#chise hatori#elias ainsworth#ruth mtny#joseph mtny#chika hatori#ahhhh man. i know this show is trynna make chise see that she shouldnt keep her pain to herself#but i just feel everything elias said so personally and i just#idk i do be like that too. can't really understand why i should burden others w my pain#nor assume my position in their lives (they have specified they love me#( i dont believe it)#anyway .............. i get you girl. mtny makes me cry TT#q
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pt 2 of memes that vaguely relate to the ambiguous nihilism theme essay and stuff except this one is a lot dumber
#something something nobody has actual proof of consciousness but that doesnt mean you should treat people like garbage something something#something something monika had no idea the rest of the club was sentient and therefore could do whatever she wanted even though she really#shouldnt because what if they were sentient and also why does something definitely existing even matter if she has proof of nothing in life#admittedly a lot of this is more shaky and unrelated than the other one but i also think this meme is really funny to me so im doing it too#also made this in like ten minutes idk why i decided to edit a crappy dye job to my pencil sketch but i need to get this out into the world#doki doki literature club#ddlc#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#tempestarttag
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the only--the ONLY!--thing I had on my to do list for today was work on any of the commissioned paintings that I need to get done. That was it!
So instead I've sculpted a bunch of clay leaves to make into a mobile, gave a kitten a bath, rearranged the sunroom and repotted a few plants, watered my tomatoes, got some eggs from the doves, read a book, did some laundry, made a book press, made a video about making a book press, bought a detail sander and halloween candy, taught Vice to do a double high five, accidentally melted my gardening gloves, went to the animal shelter, and forgot to eat for the entire day.
So I'm pleased to announce that all executives are functioning at 0% capacity, as per normal.
#time to make some spaghetti#im so close to getting the watercolor painting done#and I neeeeeeed to start my acrylic paintings#i have two personal project paintings that I want to do and two must-do commissions that I need to do#and no headway!#a very productive unproductive day#yesterday we went to my brothers house and were going to pull out the enormous overgrown bushes that were completely blocking#his front window#and instead we snapped both tow hooks on the front of the truck#which really goes to show you shouldnt underestimate a shrub
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this is not a comprehensive list
#in order from left to right (with explanations):#k on#(self explanatory. definition of moe.)#a place further than the universe#(theyre at least a little insane for going all the way to antarctica for funsies)#bocchi the rock#(good mix of insane and sweet. most of the insane parts come from bocchi herself)#nichijou#(literally so much happened all the time)#and asobi asobase#(they did do arson)#i haven't seen azumanga daioh or yuru camp and i never finished lucky star#but based on what i know abt the first two id put it... azumanga between bocchi and nichijou. and yuru camp with or after k on#and from what i remember abt lucky star its also just after k on#a bit quirkier but nothing ever really happens in it. as far as i watched. which is why i stopped watching LOL#but thats all assumptions and second hand knowledge so i figured i shouldnt actually include them unless i was SURE#i also thought abt putting asteroid in love in here too but that one is a bit more niche so i left it out#i also excluded any idol shows bc that feels like a different category. and would make this too long#sorry zombieland saga and love live....#i also excluded straight up yuri. this is more abt Hanging Out than romance. but some is allowed as long as its not the focal point#like kita in btr. shes very yuri but the show isnt about that#you could probably also put is the order a rabbit on here but idr much from that. i think i watched like 3 episodes umm 100 years ago#i also thought abt putting the highschool girls segments from daily lives of highschool boys here. but they arent in most of the show#tho theyd probably go between nichijou and asobi asobase. or maybe on par w nichijou#that one girl did almost kill the other two with a rock as im sure youve all seen
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