#i really really hate my grandma
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How come the most breathtaking beautiful pretty heavenly ethereal wonderful smart intelligent popular nice sweet caring girl ever told Teru they're engaged and he just :> while the ugliest mustiest loser freak insulted him and he looked like he has never been more in love I am sick of them
#terukane#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#toilet bound hanako kun#i am so not normal about them#tbhk#teru minamoto#akane aoi#aoi akane#i live for platonic teruaoi#terukane killed my grandma okay?!#i hate terukane#i want them dead#minamoto teru#crazy how a lesbian is gonna marry a gay man#aidairo really is giving us the gayest man alive and then try to convince us that he likes a girl#arranged marriage for the tax benefits trust#theyre just marrying platonically dw okay trust#tbhk 113
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#bad news that brings your whole week down kinda day#the kind of bad news you can’t bring up or else it’ll ruin everyone else’s mood kinda news#but I feel like I need to tell someone or it’s gonna tear me apart#my grandma is in the hospital and we don’t know how serious it is yet#it could be an easy fix or it could be bad we just don’t know#the waiting is the worst part when someone’s in the hospital#it always floors me#makes it hard to do anything#I’m praying it’s a fixable problem but we just don’t know yet#and I’m half a continent away so I can’t do anything#I just have to wait and I hate the waiting#I haven’t told any of my friends or classmates yet because I don’t wanna bring the whole room down#but it’s hard waiting for answers#it’s really hard#anyways sorry for rambling at you guys about my personal problems#I just needed to tell someone
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#everyone is empty#thinking about moving back in w my mom & great grammy even tho i don’t fucking want to#but my mom is the worst caregiver in existence & my grandma doesn’t really want her help cuz she’s always drunk#i’m just ready to explode & run the house my fucking way & tell me mother to stop acting like my grandmas savior#idc about her drinking but she can’t live rent fucking free & be fucking USELESS#i hate my mother#girlblogging#mentally fucked#bpd vent#depressing shit#anxi4ty#mentally tired#actually bipolar#bipolar disorder#ptsd#bipolar depression#tumblr girls#girlboss#bpd mood#this is what makes us girls#su1c1d3#su1c1d4l#stressed and tired#dark memes#depressing memes#bpd things
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I am so easily distracted by sad monster men with beautiful hair and claws and perhaps a large sword
#textpost#Hold one out in front of me like pspspspsp and you can get me to do tricks#Siegfried needs to be more fucked up he like drank evil dragon blood and you can't even tell#I can make him worse#I still don't know his lore outside of that lmao but I wanna get to it in the game and not just read it on the wiki#There was untranslated Japanese text on the wiki and they do fan translations on there#I had to close the tab I can't cheat on Guilty Gear sorry Granblue Fantasy gacha game#My grandma used to have an absolute unit of a Maine coon named Siegfried that hated everyone#and it's an uncommon enough name that I still associate it with that cat#We called him Ziggy lol#So when I see Siegfried Granblue I do think of Siegfried Cat pretty often#He was grey with tabby markings and had a huge poofy tail lol#The only time he ever let me pet him was when he got really old. Rest in peace you grumpy bastard [affectionate]....
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Hey so remember when I was watching 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' with my grandma? I'm pretty sure her favorite character is Lou-
#Oh and she also hates paper xD#don't get me wrong my grandma is overall a very sweet woman#But I guess she just doesn't really like the shit the main 3 be doing#she still likes the show!!#okay enough tag rambling#nick rps#rambles#rock paper scissors
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im just lookin thru my archive rn cuz ive been posting fairly actively since like. july. debating if i need to do another #mentalhealthbreak or nah….
its not that ive run outta post ideas or anything(cuz my brain never shuts tf up), its just been kinda hard lately to keep up with the community aspect i think. i dunno. maybe im getting a bit burnt out again too
this is kinda the longest ive ever held a fixation consistantly, but the fear of slipping back into the Nothing Era where i got nothing to keep my brain occupied has me hanging on ig. i feel like im not done yet either like waiiiitttttt ive still got piles of wipssssssss i gotta make gay people realllllllll sigh
im only human im a messed up human blablah it makes good practice for adderall at least(not that its really been working) i just dont wanna be in a state where it feels like a chore yknow? like im not an influencer im a gay lil tumblr.com blog ffs
another dramatic emotion filled sigh………im gonna be staying out in the middle of the canadian sticks(farmland n woods n a couple beaches nearby) this winter for awhile, so maybe i’ll be able to figure out how to get some good chill time. or go more insane. (likely get more insane)
#(pic is from marvel comics presents 97 btw)(nice logan design in that one)#on one hand i hate how my brain never stops talking. the whole psychosis thing doesnt really help with that either.#on the other..my adhd makes it so its hard to hold my attention long enough to distract myself#so i dont really got a choice#i dont really socialize that often either. theres people i dm back n forth with but im not really a talk first kinda guy#or reach out kinda guy in general. got that Whats The Point style depression#and its probably my autism too lol#apparently i wouldnt be entirely isolated where im gonna be staying tho. maybe.#cuz my grandma mentioned that one of the nearby farmers kids is around my age#(gonna be staying in a room at my grandmas place)#and he recently moved back in after having some struggles. we got that in common ig.#they got like 6 kids and hes the only one that didnt wanna be a farmer#it’d be a miracle if i ever interacted with the guy tho#one of his younger brothers walks the dogs near the house sometimes so i could try talking to him ig#kind of a bitch to try to find friends after highschool..#4 fuckin years after highschool……
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my grandmas racist friends were over for my niece’s birthday today and they were talking about trump and how they want him to win, and eventually the topic trickled down to mexicans. the lady said her ex husband was going around “dating a fucking mexican” to like, scandalize her or whatever, and my favorite aunt, bless her, said “there’s nothing wrong with mexicans” and she looked at me 😭
#misc.#i fucking hate trumpies#they all forget im also mexican all of the fucking time but she didn’t#my grandma said ‘we have a lot of half breeds here’ which is a conversation in itself really#i hate that i was raised by white people bc she will never ever ever understand what that’s like to sit there and endure that
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I just watched a clip of this elderly lady, she had white hair and everything, and she was talking about Harry Potter.
She said, I quote, "I worry about Harry Potter fans because they should be over that by now. You know, I mean it was 25 years ago, and it's for children."
And well, I'm pretty sure that 25 years ago, you should've been dead, but here we are.
#that was my default internal response lmao#this is a joke btw#I DONT MEAN ANY HARM!!!#joke#harry potter#hp fandom#you're too old for hating grandma just let it be smh#'i worry about hp fans' well im worry about the money for your funeral#im kidding#kinda#im being really mean to this woman but im sorry i cant help it#i havent even finished the series yet but im gonna defend the books with my life thanks#harry potter fandom
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I recreated the cover for remus's theme!
...with a couple little changes of course!
i'm REALLY happy with how this turned out!
i can't wait to hang it up on my wall when i get home TvT
just the line art:
they look better irl lol
#sanders sides#also i hate how virgil turned out#everyone else looks awesome though!#especially considering that this is much bigger than what i normally do#but my grandma gave me a big pad of paper and i'm gonna use it!#i really like the scale actually#doing bigger stuff is fun#so this and the one of vash are the two posters and they look so cool TvT#virgil sanders#logan sanders#patton sanders#roman sanders#sanders sides fanart#thomas sanders#remus sanders#patton and logan are my favorite here#i made roman disoriented because he was unconscious the whole episode lol#and remus has an eyepatch because i say so#he actually has the most fun design to mess around with i think#i think i know every line from that episode lol#it really helped me out a few years ago
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crying because why the fuck did i pick a three year course of latin i can barely string a sentence together in english and it's literally my first and basically only language
#('basically only' bc i did french for most of my life and spoke it with my grandma and great grandma as best as i could)#(and then quit it to do latin)#it's a three year course right#and i could choose to quit after the first year when i had four shitty teachers#(one never turned up. one was just a sub and knew nothing about the language. one was a math teacher who did it in school.#the last and best was an english teacher who did it in school and uni.)#anyways i was like “oh surely it wont be so bad with a good teacher and i can catch up”#so i didnt quit#and now i have to do latin for another year once this one is over#im crying i actually hate this#i dont hate latin but like#i really struggle with learning languages#and everyone in my course (12 ppl incl me) are super crazy smart#so no one asks non-intellectual questions#and at this point my façade of intelligence has been there too long and i cant ask for help more than i normally cant#i also have no friends or even people willing to say more than two words to me so uhhh#yeah not fun. at all.#except the war and blood and murder#that's fun
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sometimes I think that I don't have to be a christian. I can still believe in God or some other version of divinity and just choose a different religion. but unfortunately christianity is the one for me :/
#and what's funny! is that in no way was I raised christian#my father hates religion my mother's religion is conspiracy theories and nationalism#my grandma n.1 was an atheist#my grandma n.2 is the type of christian who wears a cross and that's it#so I really did do this to myself. no one forced me to#but here I am 👍#🫀
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Dude I’m still new to the test tumblr rp scene as @koebi-san but man- I’m sorry y’all gotta deal with that
Tbh I feel kind of bad. I know it probably doesn’t come off as that. Considering how much I went off on them, but I do.
And it’s not that I feel bad for revealing her as the terrible person she is. Because she deserves that and she obviously doesn’t care because I happen to know she is still using her accounts like nothing has happened. Even messaging some of the blogs of mods from the discord she was banned from to ask if she can roleplay with them - like they weren’t present and aren’t fully aware of the situation and who she is.
It’s more I feel bad that I’m causing drama in the twst rp community? Because I really do just want to have fun and rp Che’nya.
But this mod was really making it not fun for me and several others. If it was just me, I could have kept ignoring them, honestly. I didn’t interact with them enough for me to do all this.
Yes, I hated they were over-saturating the twst rp community with their blogs (them having 11 is absolutely ridiculous) but I could just leave it. Whatever. They weren’t making characters connected to Che’nya. But they were stressing out and hurting my friends.
And so I finally just… snapped.
And I’m hoping making such a big deal out of this - making such a loud noise, such a huge callout - will just make sure that this drama both starts and ENDS quickly.
I just want to go back to having fun with all of you roleplaying the mad eldritch horror, self-aware Cheshire Cat that gets his head stuck in teapots and bends reality to his will… but only sometimes because other times it’s funnier not to.
So, I’m hoping now that me and the others that joined in finally broke down and made the callout post about her, we can get back to that sooner rather than later.
But thank you for your kind words. It is what it is. It’s the internet! Toxic people are kind of par for the course.
I’m just happy that, for the most part? I’ve really only had great experiences on here as Che’nya. 💜
#I’ve blocked her multiple accounts too - though I know those aren’t her main just like this isn’t my main#so that can only go so far if she really wants to look me up since I only have the one rp blog#also me having the ONE rp blog is part of the reason why her having ELEVEN ticked me off so much#well that and the fact that she is so bad at them all#she roleplays basically all of them the same and then can’t keep track of them too#so you would have jack commenting as malleus and epel’s grandma commenting as malleus’s mom#it was a mess#I will say she managed to make Marja not a bitch as far as I know so HEY! look at that she DOES have other settings!#*sighs*#thank you for your well wishes though!#💜💜💜#I was expecting more hate for adding drama and so far people have been super supportive and I’m so thankful#the twst rp community is generally so great#twst rp#ar speaks#ar speaks ooc
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rage is a ✨way of life✨
#found out that i successfully angered someone by not showing up to work on saturday lmaoooooo#and im just like… gOOOOOOD. BE MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!#mans has no room to be mad anyway. it’s his fault i had to ot for 7 hours to cover his work for him in the first place soooooooo#a nd he’s getting demoted next year and im ahauxucjsjjsjsjsjxjdhss#in other news im kinda annoyed by my mother’s (unfortunate) pressuring of me to go to the upcoming family christmas gathering :(#like no way manssssss i haven’t seen the extended fam since my grandma’s funeral and i’d like to keep it that way thanks~~~~~~~~#and a c h r i s t m a s gathering of all places… m a n. im half expecting them to drag everyone to church to end off the gathering…#i wouldn’t put it past the hosting aunt to do that ngl. she had tricked me into attending a church service in the past and all…#like. man. there’s this local mall that has a similar name to said church service…#so ofc it’s normal to assume that said mall is what she was referring to when she said ‘let’s go to [insert name]!’ with no context right???#and uggshdhdjjsjsjdjs i don’t wanna be introduced to my cousins’ kids as ‘auntie [insert nickname i hate]’ bc that’s lame#and m a n. i definitely don’t wanna interact with my cousins’ kids. i either don’t know or can’t pronounce (or both) their names#i only remember the oldest one’s name (bc he has a stereotypical frat boy name) and the one who’s named after a ninja turtle#but none of the rest. i think some of them have names from my cousins’ spouses’ home countries? dk about the others though#i’m 80% sure one of the girls was named something like ‘triceratops’ but that doesn’t seem right…#being named after a dinosaur sounds cool though… or any prehistoric creature really#if i could choose my own name i’d like it to be ‘coelacanth’#just so i can say ‘i coelacan’t do it!!!!!’ if someone asked me to do something i don’t wanna do. the pun potentials are endless mans#huh. wow… i started this off with a mad coworker and ended it by turning into a coelacanth… how did we get here anyway…?#oh wells no one reads the tags anyway uehxudjdjdjsjsjss my secrets are ✨safe✨
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such a horrible day couldnt have ended any other way
#EVERYTHING that couldve gone wrong went wrong#but seeing my mom cry is always heartbreaking#my grandmas bday is tomorrow and she wanted to have a dinner but my uncle deliberately pushed to make it a lunch so i dont go#but his kids can go. of course#i honestly dont give a shit cuz theyre always doing stuff like this and if cared everytime i wouldve off'd myself years ago#but my moms was present for this and seeing them make this decision really triggered her#my grandmas favoritism for my shithead uncle has been a constant in her life and it breaks her heart seeing them deliberately exclude me#i hate them for this#im so so so so so so tired#thank god i have good friends because otherwise#it would be so hard to go on#i dont see my parents and brothers often anymore but theyre so good to me and im so grateful for that#im so sorry mom please dont feel bad for me
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I can't be depressed, I ate vegetables two days in a row
#my mental health is in shambles lol#I haven't left my house in 4 days#i slept in until 1pm today which I haven't done in a while#the earliest i fall asleep is 2am#im fucking exhausted#it's so fucking hard to get myself to do anything#my brain won't even let me watch the Olympics even though ive been looking forward to the skateboarding competition#this shit is annoying#and it's annoying because i was so confused why this bout of depression happened#but i just got my first normal period after stopping birth control and that shit always fucks me up mentally#and my grandma just fucking died#so yeah not that surprising lol#also my girlfriend is out of town and i was supposed to go with her and it didn't work out so im sure that's not helping my brain feel okay#its just so fucking annoying because i just want to be okay with everything and not break#at least it's not the 'my brain is telling me to kill myself at all hours of the day' type of depression#but this shit still sucks and i hate it#and i don't want to talk with my girlfriend about it because i don't want her worrying about me and i want her to enjoy her time away#and i dont want to talk to my mom about it because actually i dont really know why i dont want to talk to her about it#im gonna be going back to therapy soon so hopefully that shit helps but who knows#anyway brains sucks and grief is weird and hormones are dumb and i miss my girlfriend#but hey at least my brain is letting me eat vegetables again lol#personal
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Not Smokey stealing his girl and then telling him he's too dumb to run a gang. RIP Rusty James, your unibrow will always be iconic
#rusty james#smokey#patty#I just know Donna hates Smokey#nic cage#nicolas cage#Nicolas Coppola#Matt Dillon#rumble fish#mickey rourke#me in a nursing home: Mickey rourke used to be so hot#my grandchildren: yeah okay grandma#se hinton#queen of Tulsa#tulsa oklahoma#sounds terrible#Diane lane really was that bitch
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