#EVERYTHING that couldve gone wrong went wrong

[mxwhore]

such a horrible day couldnt have ended any other way

[al-luviec]

compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)

meh HoT gifs (3/?)

[guitar-anon]

im cooking i think

[vvideonasties]

i need a hug or ill go fucking crazy

[casual-socks]

HI IVE BEEN MASSIVELY HYPERFIXATED ON TMA FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND IVE SEEN MAYBE ONE (1) SINGULAR PERSON TALK ABOUT THIS and i am not even kidding when i say its been a passionate topic of conversation for that entire year. people know me for this. it comes up and my entire friend group SIGHS AUDIBLY because they know the 20 minute tangent i Will be taking

WHATTTTT IS GOING ON WITH GERARD KEAYS NAME. what. what???? okay i

youre telling me jonathan sims went to oxford college (relatively prestigious if my memory serves me correctly) for RESEARCH. for, to put it simply, READING. and he looks at the name gerard and goes Yeah looks like jared to me lets go with that!!! HELLO?? NO?? not even mentioning the fact that he is being what could easily be called possesed when reading these statements which leaves us with two options

1. the ENTIRETY OF ENGLAND CANNOT PRONOUNCE THE NAME GERARD.

2. jonathan sims is so monumentally stupid that he is somehow breaking this possesion for the 2 seconds it takes to say the name gerard (i love him i swear i will sound so so hateful for this entire post but its out of love)

and like??? its not even that EVERYONE is calling him jared? elias and gertrude have both called him gerard and thats just off the top of my head. i also think jon said it correctly ONEEEE SINGULAR TIME. Just the once.

now i feel it necessary to mention jared hopworth here as well. because why, why on gods green earth, would you name a character gerard. pronounce it jared. TURN AROUND AND GO. lets make another jared but this ones made out of meat and is sort of implied to not be too fond of gay people. Yeah he steals peoples bones. Yeah.

SO LIKE GERARD KEAY IS THE OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR JARED EXCEPT HES NOT JARED HIS NAME IS LITERALLY GERARD?? FUCK YOU SO MUCH

so okay. sure whatever this podcast is sooo british that a bunch of people are just completely failing to pronounce gerard. sure. whatever you say.

GERRY?????? HIS FUCKING NICKNAME IS GERRY???????????? NO!!!!

NO. no. LOOK ME IN MY EYES. LOOK AT THE NAME GERARD. GER-ARD. AND YOURE TELLING ME YOURE GONNA CALL HIM JARED. SND THEN YOURE GONNA CALL HIM GERRY WITH A G???? gerry with a g. that is utterly ridiculous i cannot even believe this that is monumentally frustrating i cannot even begin to describe to you all the anger i have experienced over this particular bit because why on earth would you take that particular extra step??? gerard -> gerry. sure. thin ice, but sure. jared -> jerry. sure! yeah! makes sense! GERARD -> JARED -> GERRY? you must be playing some sick joke jonny sims. seriously. you are a cruel and usual man

now this is when i start to wind down, but far from where i finish. lets take a moment to really pause and soak in his actual name here.

gerard.

that is so unfortunate already i mean really, gerard is such a…. a name…. i mean his mom skins people and puts them in books and the cruelest thing i think she ever couldve done is honest to god name her son gerard.

keay.

now dont get me wrong. theres nothing seriously wrong with spelling it keay on principle. but god, really? youre gonna shove all this gerard gerry jared business in front of me and tell me his last name is just key but gone the extra mile. really feels like the cherry on top of a shit cake.

now if you consider gerards character i truly feel as though thats the deepest disservice here. gerard keay is an incredible character whos short appearance is so memorable and charming, and despite his VERY little screen time he still has an intriguing and well fleshed out character. really, gerard keay is so excellent character wise. But, every time i think about him for any more than 5 minutes, almost this exact rant is being told to whoever is unfortunate enough to be near me at the time.

another thing i think also really adds to this is just the nature of gerard keay. everything you can say about that guy could be ended with “and everone calls him jared for some reason”. hes emo and everyone calls him jared for some reason. his hair dye job is so miserable that EVERYONE mentions it and everyone calls him jared for some reason. he has mommy issues and everyone calls him jared for some reason.

okay i need to wrap this up before i start just repeating WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY for thousands of words but heres a graph i made for my friends in october 2022 when i was going on about this in the middle of my spanish class 👍👍

[nordidia]

Do you think CJ and Raph ever talk about their experiences with PTSD/anxiety together or even share advice on coping? Or do you think Raph would rather not? Explain your reasoning in your essay below

(i typed an entire novel and then accidentally closed chrome and it deleted everything let me try doing this again i barely remember what i said ok so. also this is just me blabbering idk guys im not a rise writer im just some opinionated guy online and you can completely disagree with me and i dont say what goes or not ok? ok!)

i dont think raph would go to him with his issues but i think it'd defo get talked about through asking CJ about things and checking up on him etc. and i think CJ would give raph alot of insight and advice on how to deal with anxieties and traumas,, tho alot of their convos would just be one of them saying something vile and the other one going "oh. is that not normal?" and the first one looking at the latter like this

but all in all i think they'd definitely help eachother with dealing with stuff... i think especially raph will assist CJ in just taking the blow on how much there is to unpack... his entire life has been a big traumatic event, i imagine suddenly living a sustained life without having to fight for survival every day would be a lot for him to deal with, especially the confusion and grief over what he has lost (maybe what he has lost feels a bit like pointless grief to him now? which is a trauma in itself) and also grieving what he never had. as we know, grief is also things we shouldve had but never got, and i think all the hamatos would be really helpful in dealing with that.

tho CJ seems to be a bit of a hardass on stuff like this which is incredibly understandable when you've had to fight for everything with zero stability at all anywhere you went. i could see him confiding in raph about it, but not only him if im honest. but there is an undeniable security about raph i think that the characters i the show feel, and i think CJ would seek the stability and consistent reliability that raph provides.

i also like that CJ doesnt seem too scared about calling out people when they do wrong, i can defo see CJ bluntly telling raph that bad coping mechanisms is stupid and makes things worse and worries everyone around. (this is ofc hand in hand with the good ol' HC that raph bottles shit up/avoids talking abt things. personally i think he never shuts up and frequently rants about stuff and lets his family know whenever shit is up but he avoids going too deep so his family thinks he's being fully transparent when actually he's just not voicing the worst shit. this is so real to me no i do not need therapy shut u)

i definitely think raph would confide in CJ about the krang thing. CJ is the one who knows the most about it, i can see raph going to him to just get a bit more information about what was going on, and also a bit of relief hearing that it didnt go as bad as it couldve gone... CJ being experienced with krangification would absolutely soothe worries and make him feel less alone about knowing what he knows and having gone through something thats a step further than his brothers

IS THIS A GOOD ENOUGH ESSAY i have academic anxiety dont grade me please its 4am i have taken melatonin pills im on my last leg help m *ficking dies*

edit: GOODNIGHT LOL

[productofaritual]

YES I'VE SEEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS even if somehow after the reset c!discduo managed to be friendly for some time it's never going to work their personalities and goals are ALWAYS going to clash and c!Dream is just gonna go back to being the fucking manipulative ass he is

(TW: mentions of suicide, violence, it's dsmp, cmon)

Just thinking about how c!Tommy was leading c!Wil through exile and he was like "and this is where I tried to kill myself because of Dream"

And instead of Wilbur comforting him or saying something reassuring, his first reaction is to have an intense daydream about going to Pandora's and beating c!Dream to death over and over again

[sluttyminghao]

hi hi alicia! i've been loving ur works and congrats so much for 8k, you deserve all of it c: i was wondering if u could do a little nsfw hao drabble of him just being very sweet w u and vice versa? kinda like u have both been stressed out 4 a while and u take the time to unwind each other and :c yea i hope this makes sense ... just very comforting bc i have been having a bit of a bad few days ^^ so sorry if this has already been done, i checked ur mlists and i hope this is okay!

hi mika beloved! im so sorry this is so late but I hope u like <3

your head hangs low as you trudge through your apartment door, the weight of the day pressing against your shoulders tauntingly. everything that could've gone wrong, went wrong, and it somehow was all your fault even if it wasn't your department.

"baby! you're home- what's wrong?"

minghao's cheerful voice turns to one of concern upon seeing you on the verge of tears, and he immediately brings you in for a hug. he kisses the top of your head and you feel the stress begin melting away, even when he silently picks you up and carries you to the bedroom.

"everything that couldve gone wrong, went wrong, I'm so done with today."

the exhaustion lacing your voice has minghaos eyebrows knitting together, his arms lowering you to the bed gingerly while he undoes your shoes and places them on the floor. an idea sparks in his mind, and he quickly sets to work gathering what he needs.

you don't even move as minghao speeds around you looking for things, body curled into a ball. approximately 10 minutes later, you're still in the same position, to which you can hear minghao lightly sigh and come over to where you lay.

"let me help you undress, baby, i've got a bath running for you and I'll give you a massage."

you faintly smile as he undoes your top and slides it down your shoulders, before lifting you up and helping you undo your pants. he guides you to the bathroom and can only gasp at the setup he's produced in only minutes.

"hop in, i made sure the temperature was just right," he mumbles as he holds your waist while you step into the warmth of the tub. more stress melts away as you crouch into the water and let the bubbles seep over your tired body, eyes closing with relaxation.

minghao could stare at your body for hours, and it only made his cock twitch when he got a good view of your ass as you stepped into the bath. he tried to push the thoughts down as he grabbed the body oil and rubbed some into his palms, before letting them rest on your shoulders.

an unconscious moan slips past your lips as he works his hands over your skin, and it takes everything within minghao to not slide into the tub with you and fuck you. he again, pushes the thoughts down and lets his hands glide over your shoulders.

another moan. he can't stop himself this time.

"fuck, you sound so pretty, need to fuck you...let me strip off," he mutters, and your face morphs into one of excitement as his lean body joins yours and he presses his lips to yours, his hands resting just on your thigh.

"well, what are you waiting for then? fuck me, hao"

[madnesswithmadhu]

chat the madagascar/ahkj hyperfix is coming back so here are MY HOT, ULTIMATE TAKES🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 (also I might remember things wrong so pls correct me if I do!!)

AS MUCH AS LITTLE ME LOVED THE 3RD MADAGASCAR MOVIE, I JUST HATE IT LORE WISE. LIKE CHANEL DUBOIS WAS ICONIC THO BUT THEY COULDVE MADE HER LIKE A POACHER AND LET THEM STAY IN THE WILD LIKE... WHY DID THE CIRCUS HAVE TO BE BROUGHT IN??? AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE WHOLE LOVE INTEREST THING (THAT CHEETAH GIRL, FORGOR HER NAME SORRY, AND THAT BEAR WHO'S NAME WAS SONYA I THINK IDK THATS HOW UNREMEMARBLE THEY WERE TO ME) LIKE IN MY OPINION THAT CHEETAH GIRL WAS JUST THERE FOR ALEX BC "OOOH LOVE INTEREST" WHICH SUCKS TBH BC SHE COULDVE BEEN COOL, BUT THEY KINDA DID WITH HER WHAT THEY DID WITH CLOVER AT THE END OF AHKJ, PURELY EXISTING FOR MALE CHARACTERS.

SPEAKING OF RHE 3RD MOVIE (I HAVE IMMENSE BEEF WITH IT SORRY) WTF WAS THAT SCENE WHERE MAURICE SMILED WHEN RHEY ALL THOUGHT JULIEN DIED??? LIKE HUH?...WHAT ABOUT TRUE BROMANCE?... I, MAURICE??? LIKE HUH. AND IT WASNT EVEN ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS WHERE ITS LIKE THEY SMILE FIRST FROM SHOCK AND THEN FREAK OUT BC THE CREATOR **CONFIRMED** IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THAT MAURICE WAS HAPPY HE DIED LIKE NO???? THOSE TWO ARE LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE WHO BICKER BUT STILL LOVE EACHOTHER AND ARE JUST GRUMPY MOST OF THE TIME

I WISH WE COULDVE GOTTEN A MOVIE THAT FOCUSED ON THE LEMURS/MAYBE ANOTHER SERIES THATS ABOUT THE LEMUR TRIO RETURNING TO MADAGASCAR AND TRYING TO FIX EVERYTHING THAT WENT WRONG WHEN THEY WERE GONE, OR THEY COULD ACTUALLY EXPAND MORE ON THE WHOLE TRAVELLING CIRCUS IDEA WHICH COULD MAKE IT MORE INTERESTING

ALSO CLOVER IS A LESBIAN. SORRY NOT SORRY LIKE THE LEMUR TRIO LITERALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA MARRY A WOMAN, AND FOUND NO PROBLEM WITH IT, LIKE SHE DOESNT LIKE SAGE, SHE LIKES THE IDEA OF HIM BC SHE LOOKS LIKE THE GUY FROM HER NOVELS!!!!!! (Need someone to draw the lemur trio+maybe like Ted or whatever going to the mountain lemur kingdom and playing "good luck, babe!" From Chappel Roan to try and knock her out of the comphet. OR ILL DRAW IT MYSELF IDK)

WHY ARE WE OVERLOOKING MAURICE'S LORE?... LIKE SURE MORT'S LORE IS CWAZY BUT MAURICE IS LITERALLY LIKE A GOD TO A BUNCH OF SNAILS???? LIKE NO ONE HAS DEEPENED INTO THAT LORE AND IT MAKES ME SAD LOWKEY, NOT ONLY CUZ HES MY FAV AND HE IS TERIBBLY UNDERRATED SINCE PPL WANNA FOCUS ON KJ AND MORT MORE, BUT HE GENUINELY HAS LORE THAT IS SO INSANE, LIKE HE LOST BOTH HIS BIO PARENTS AND HIS ADOPTIVE PARENTS DUE TO FOOSSA'S; HE GOT BULLIED AS A KID; HE IS A IMMENSE PPL'S PLEASER; ETC ETC. LIKE HE'S SO COOL IM NOT BEING BIASED CUZ HES MY FAVE PLS

OVERALL: DREAMWORKS STOP MAKING FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY EXIST FOR MALE ONES AND MAKE GOOD SEQUELS/PREQUELS THAT DONT CONTRADICT ONE ANOTHER

THE MFS WHO MADE RHAT JULIEN ASSASIN JOKE IS DEAD TO ME TBH

PLS MAKE ANOTHER MADAGASCAR MEDIA SO THE FANDOM REVIVES

#SAVECLOVERFROMHERCOMPHET

PLS STOP IGNORING MAURICE, HE IS SILLY IN HIS OWN WAYS AND DOESNT HAVE TO HAVE A WEIRD KINK AROUND ANOTHER CHARACTER TO BE POPULAR, BC HE IS JUST AS OVER-THE-TOP AS THE OTHER CHARACTERS JUST IN HIS OWN WAY PLS😞😞

[mclwcc]

still in utter bafflement that people thought as piasco was unfolding that oscar’s decision to go mclaren, a team that was on the upward trajectory ever since 2018, over renault works team, a known disaster class since pre-historic times, was a dumb move. wym?? people at that time did not have all the info about how alpine absolutely fumbled 2 contracts, on top of otmar controlling the narrative, throwing around words like “loyalty”, it would have still been a better decision, because it gave oscar the opportunity to prove himself against a highly rated driver like lando, instead of pierre whose record is not perfect. hell, had everything that alpine lied about around oscar was correct, meaning that say he was ghosting them after promising to drive, it still was the correct decision 😭

hmm. im not actually sure if i agree w you, because i don't think the difference between renault and mclaren was actually that cut and dry. when daniel moved from renault to mclaren in 2020 ppl called it a sideways move, and for good reason. since id say 2019 at least, mclaren and renault had been in the upper midfield and in direct competition with each other. 2022, the year of the piasco, alpine beat mclaren in the wcc (mostly bc of daniel shitting the absolute bed, but still). the length of time since theyve been successful was kind of equivalent (renault's last wdc is 2006, mclaren's is 2008), and arguably renault hadnt recently had a period of such despairing backmarker incompetence as mclaren had circa 2017 (they're having it now tho, lol. oops). so to anyone looking alpine seemed like a reliable midfielder which had been floating around 5th place in the wcc since like 2017, while mclaren had had the epic highs and lows (of high school football) and was now looking as if it had clearly gotten the new regs all wrong.

THAT SAID. alpine is run by french people. so, you know, that's an important factor to consider

at the time, before learning abt the absolute legal / bureocratic incompetence that drove oscar away, i still objectively thought oscar had made a good choice – but thats bc im a big ol mclarenhead and also biased against alpine. i didn't trust the management of otmar szafnauer or the rest of alpine's higher-ups (rightfully so lol), and i knew enough about the things mclaren were saying to believe that we'd have a change in fortune long-term after the wind tunnel was finished. still like, when 2023 came along and mclaren were clearly backmarkers if not the slowest car on the grid, in retrospect i understand the ppl who made fun of oscar for turning down alpine's offer (and in such a dramatic fashion too, lol). im obviously laughing in all of their faces currently, but yk, i get it ig

also re: proving himself against lando, i think ur accidentally forgetting which frenchie was actually in the other alpine seat LMAO he wouldve gone against ocon, not gasly (i shudder to think of the gasly-to-mclaren alternate universe dear god). i rate ocon i think he's an alright driver but ig my question is more like, why would it be in the interest of a rookie to go against what couldve been a teammate-killer*? like look at alex - his reputation was hugely damaged when he went against max, then his stock HUGELY boosted when he was paired up with latifi and sargeant. north american loserboy pay drivers are necessary to the economy of the f1 paddock bc they make everyone going against them look sooooo good lmao. if anything oscar's reputation wouldve probably benefited more from going up against a race winner like ocon (or gasly if ur suggesting mclaren wouldve tried to get ocon instead, which wouldve been difficult but marginally more rewarding for them) (and less of a nightmare for me) who he couldve possibly actually convincingly beat.

all that considered like. fundamentally oscar DID make the right choice. and not just bc mclaren is a frontrunner big 3 now and alpine has barely gotten any points this year, bc f1 is a game of chance and u never know where any team will actually end up in next year's order. so even ignoring that, oscar made the right choice bc of what he himself has said time and time again - he enjoys and appreciates being wanted. alpine kept him in the attic like that dusty broken air mattress u only bring out when u've got one too many guests for the sleepover. meanwhile, mclaren broke daniel's contract and paid like 20mil partly just so they could secure oscar's seat before anyone else snatched him up. oscar had literally already signed the mcl contract before fernando announced his shock departure. he did not believe his alpine seat was secured or even available at all - there were talks of loaning him to williams or whatever and like out of everyone THATS a team that cant escape its reputation for perpetual floppage lmao. so fundamentally mclaren was in the right to try to secure his contract and oscar was in the right for trying to get out of being the understudy of an old man who doesnt ever seem to want to stop driving.

*i dont actually think lando is a teammate killer, even if he's obviously performing substantially better than oscar up until this point. i think hes unfortunately just a ricciardo-killer lol

[997]

not to ALWAYS be like the woe is me but ive been having the worst couple days like everything that couldve gone wrong went wrong and to finish it all off i might have to pay for a major construction thing for bursting a water pipe and i dont even know how much that will cost me yet and i just wanna cry

[insomnya777]

hi. saw uh

saw you were reblogging so OUABH stuff

Did you read it??? And if so, I need your thoughts lol

oh my god i literally binged the series in two days. loved it so so so much i have soooo many thoughts

spoilers ahead for the ouabh series!!!

first of all, i had actually absolutely loved apollo up until the third book/when he took eva's memories. even when he was under the archer curse, he had this like tortured vibe that all good fairytale heroes do, i was like oh my god i'm in love. but i had seen everyone talking about how much they hated him, i was like surely he can't be that bad right..... and then behold. he was That Bad. actually started gagging every time his chapters came up lololol

evangeline — oh. my. god. i loved her so, so much. i have to admit, i didn't like her too much in the starting few chapters (mostly because i was missing scarlett from caraval 💔) but she immediately grew on me. the hopeful romantic, always having faith, being so set on what she wanted (a happy ever after), writing letters to her future self.... loved her so much.

now, of course, i've got to talk about jacks. going into this book, i hated him. i read the caraval series, like, many years ago, and i was absolutely head over heels in love with legend when i did (which apparently not everyone did????) and i never got over what jacks did to tella. again, it's been many years, forgive me if i'm getting the details wrong, but the slowing down her heart, marrying her without telling her, AND the putting her under his spell was just wayyyy too much for me. but i'm not here to talk about caraval, i'm here to talk about jacks! so i went into the books absolutely hating his guts wanting him to keel over and die. but then, somehow, i loved him by halfway through the first book. i only started to like him more and more as time went on, and by the time eva and jacks got to the hollow for the first time, i was giggling + kicking my feet at every word he said hahahah. but seriously "you have no idea what i'm feeling right now" GOD! he is soooo!!!!! and then when he goes by archer in the third book, i bet he thought he was sooo slick with that. "don't be rude, the princess asked you a question" JESUSSSS!!!!!!!!! i'm losing my mind sorry. hate his guts (affectionately now)

don't worry i won't rant about jacks all day even though i very much want to. things i wish we got more of: first of all, jacks' and lala's backstory. i need the details on how they became fates, what their lives were like as humans, et cetera. it felt so rushed! i wouldn't mind more of chaos and lala either, they were surprisingly cute. i also wanted to see more of the valors in general!!!! that plotline couldve been so good, but it felt a little rushed to me. another thing i wanted to see was more of scarlett and tella! maybe this is just personal bias speaking, but i feel like they were just mentioned once in the first book and then forgotten completely. i can see why they might've been left out, so that it's seen as a separate series that people can read with/without caraval, but they could have had a very interesting role, especially when luc showed up and pretended to be king or whatever. which brings me to my next point, luc! i really wished we saw more of him. i kept waiting for him to show up in the third book while eva's memories were gone, but he never did. and what even was that pretending to be the heir to the throne plotline? i think it could've been a little more fleshed out.

i won't complain for too long, though. the underlying theme of all these complaints is just that i wish we got more. more jacks, more valors, more vampires, everything. the series could've easily been a book longer without it feeling like it was dragging on!

tldr; amazing series. absolutely loved it. highly recommend, i'd probably rate it 4.5 stars. i didn't talk much about the things that i loved about this book, because that would be wayyyyy way way too long, but there were so many moments and aspects that were sooo incredible and well thought out! cannot wait for the next book in the caraval universe :)

[daily-sapphic-song]

Im traveling rn and i listened to Your Name In The Sky by Kelly Quindlen and as someone who had a vagely similar experience the one year I went to catholic school, it almost made me cry haha. Its so real but it also feels like trauma incarnite. Its like almost everything that couldve gone wrong did go wrong. At least until like the last few chapters. Not sure how to feel about it, but it made me feel sad

[doebt]

Like literally EVERYTHING that couldve gone wrong today went wrong. ok not everything but a LOT. Like so much dude..

[regryrth]

#drdtdevappreciation

Im so proud of how you all as a fandom handled this so well 💙 I know things are still pretty shaky in places and no one can rlly say this problem is “solved” or “forgiven” unless DRDT Dev specifically says so (which I dont mean to say they should or have to comment on anything, I know they mentioned theyre nervous and now uncomfortable interacting which I understand and accept responsibility for) But it really makes me happy to see how for the most part We’re turning something bad into appreciation. So for the fandom here. I appreciate all of you.

Even the ones who mightve gone too far. Just like me u had good or at least non malicious intent. Which turned out bad but there are still ppl who respectfully understand where youre coming from. Maybe its not wanted- But I appreciate and care for you too. I dont know how youre handling this all, But if its anything like how I did, I hope you understand nothing is ur fault just like how people have said it’s not entirely mine and not DRDT Devs. Even if it wasnt the best thing u couldve said in the moment. I understand u didnt want to harass anyone. It was a mistake made cause it’s human to act emotionaly have opinions and want to be understood with that. That can make ppl say and post things online that get deserved back-lash like I did. And the things u say can seriously hurt people like I did. I cant say how anyone else feels with everything thats happened But if Im right about everything so far. Its okay. To me at least which I guess isnt much. Even If u dont feel real remorse- You feel u were justified- But just dont want to be lectured in paregraphs over and over. Thats ok to me too. No one has to be completely justified in how they feel and it would be hyppocritical of me to say u do. And you shouldnt have to be looked at as any worse then the rest of us for stating your mind. Ur a great DRDT fan and person too and no one should claim any different for anyone. So while no one can throw around the word “forgive” for an incident that isnt ours to forgive- I “understand” u.

On a lighter note- The people who defended DRDT Dev without harassing anyone. U all acted so maturely in response to everything I honestly envy u a little. Does maturity and not making mistakes like these come one by one for you? When I make mistakes like this I feel like something with no real sense of right or wrong- Then I mess up and ppl come out to tell me where I went wrong and the “right” thing to do- And I piece together all the life lessons and “right” responses little by little until I feel safe with myself. Like a kintsugi piece. And like the cake in chapter 1! Did u have to do the same? I wonder if everyone experiences this. But thats not so relevant to appreciating you- So thank you for seeing every side. Even mine. Thank you for taking this whole situation and turning it into something good for everyone. We should talk about stuff like this more- While I still wish I hadnt posted that confession Im happy with whats been made of it- Even if the damage was still done. Because disrespecting and dehumanizing creators like DRDT Dev who put themselfs through so much to make wonderful content for us is never ok and to sweep it under the rug Like nothing ever happened is even worse. I know I requested the original post be deleted But Im ok with it being up on other blogs and posts because its important to hold stuff like this accountable and talk about it. And u guys did just that which is why Im so proud and thankful for u. This isnt a Thanksgiving dinner But u all deserve to be appreciated for doing good things too and supporting DRDT Dev.

And that brings me to who I appreciate the most- DRDT Dev. Everyone has said it so perfectly already I cant think of how to say it myself. But theyre so strong for going through all this. With their health. And going through and finding things like what I said. And other things none of us know about because they work to prioritize us over themself. And yet they still dont give up. They still keep going even with everything. They dont have to do this. But they do anyways and we should all appreciate them so much for that. Because sometimes we forget they and there team are human- I forgot that too. Doing things like my confession and taking their work for granted and other things is never ok. Im so happy we can do something to share our appreciation for DRDT, DRDT Dev and their team. Bad things and arguments and DRDT Dev being hurt by me had to happen first. I wish it didnt and that fandoms would give this much love and support to their creators without some incident happening first. But Im happy what happened let us appreciate the dev for there work now. And even if the DRDT Dev doesnt create side content anymore because of this- Its alright. They shouldnt have to push themselves past their boundaries or limits for us cause they already do so much. Even if we dont know much about them- We know enough to say theyre a wonderful person and we all love their content and them so much.

I know a lot of ppl apologized on my behalf and I suppose I wrote a longer apology to DRDT Dev and the fandom. But Ill say again as the anon themself- I am deeply sorry DRDT Dev for what I and others have said and done. I hope that you are well. And that youre able to see our appreciation through these posts.

I love you all 💙

[imreallynotokaybutimtrying]

fuckkkkk i didn't need that (just text but like, vent again so whee)

ive like, got them as my fp (diagnosed bpd finally wooohooooo what a process) which doesn't help our relationship so like pls don't just 'man, they aren't good for you' or 'thats unfair' or 'stop being dramatic' ive got bpd. they dont fully get it yet. it's a process and im incapable of leaving them rn bc id likely kill myself for it

anyway. they just went to bed. after saying they were tired and goodnight on call to me in the middle of me rambling (which they said twice was okay to me after me being paranoid that i wasnt rly being that interesting or considerate) and ive been trying to distract myself from everything bc its literally painful for me and ive been trying to search for ways to just, not focus on being suicidal and wanting to self harm and everything. and i hate myself for everything point blank but. they just.. it was so sudden and abrupt? and so i completely shut down but then i got angry bc in the middle of me typing a message to explain for when they woke up, they messaged. it was like ten minutes after they said gn. and then act like 'well you seemed upset so i wanted to check' no fucking shit??? you interrupted someone with both adhd and bpd mid conversation to leave? with no indication of needing to prior? ofc im gonna take it personally??

so like, having that, and then just try to tell me to stay safe so im like. relapsing, not severely, in spite almost because i hate being told to stay safe after they just. go. they leave me to myself when it isn't really that late for them and how they used to be and then expect im gonna be okay when they leave while im then trying to explain what's wrong. like stop fucking confusing me you couldve just fucking gone to bed initially since that's what started it and doing it again just made it worse. and i feel so shitty. i feel like a terrible person, a monster, and i cant fix it. so here i am just.. doing the opposite of thriving and trying not to kill myself. but im great