#i really looked at a pilot episode and went 'yeah sure this works'

[lady-bess]

Just A Date - Agent Ortega

Part of the LadyBess Valentine's special! 8 Characters; 8 Dates 💜

Agent Ortega x GN!Reader Mature/18+ (Minors DNI Please✨) WC: 2.8k Notable Tags: Running Away, New Lives, SFW, Reader is a Whore, Sorry, Soft Ortega, Caring Ortega, Obscene Levels of Fluff, Forbidden Romance, Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Relationships, Reference to Drinking, References to Prostitution.

And last, but certainly not least, is our Pinkerton! Unlike Jack, Agent Ortega is a genuine cowboy (sorry, honey, but he’s a freaking Pinkerton!). And while his appearance in the Pedro Pascal Cinematic Universe was brief (i.e. a single pilot episode of The Sixth Gun), you best believe this author still managed to take a liking to him (and who is shocked?).

I’ve made it my own head canon that there is a link between Ortega and Jack before, but for now let’s go back to the basics! This one-shot will be based on the limited information we know, plus a bit of fan-canon!

Happy valentine’s, my lovelies, however it is you choose to spend it!

A/N: I was unsure about Ortega’s timeline and Valentine’s Day being something to mention, but I found in my research that by the 1850’s it was popular to send what we now know as Valentine’s cards! In 1856, the following was published to the New York Times;

"Our beaux and belles are satisfied with a few miserable lines, neatly written upon fine paper, or else they purchase a printed Valentine with verses ready-made, some of which are costly, and many of which are cheap and indecent.

"In any case, whether decent or indecent, they only please the silly and give the vicious an opportunity to develop their propensities, and place them, anonymously, before the comparatively virtuous. The custom with us has no useful feature, and the sooner it is abolished the better."

I just found it rather amusing, so thought I’d share with y’all!

Now, where were we? Ah, yes; off to Brimstone!

February 14th, 1889

Ortega opened the doors to The Silver Palace, Brimstone, hoping to find you here before it was too late. He didn’t approve of you working in a place like this, but times were tough out here in the West, and he could hardly fault you for doing what you had to in order to survive. That still didn’t mean he liked the thought of others having their way with you in exchange for a few measly cents. His job meant that he knew, intimately, the lives of the people in this town. And what he did know about the men and women who came your way was that they were often more of the unsavoury nature.

He wanted to protect you so badly, even though you were fiercely independent and insisted you didn’t need his help. That had always been your dynamic, though. He would pay you for your time, not your body, and somewhere along the way you’d gone and fallen in love. Your boss would forbid you from ever seeing Ortega again if they knew that the two of you were involved with each other beyond an exchange of services, so you kept things quiet.

But tonight, of all nights, he wanted to get to you first.

And, if this went to plan, you’d never have to work at The Silver Palace again.

He scanned the sea of faces that met him as he entered the establishment, eyes desperately searching for yours to meet his. A panic began to rise in his chest, a tightness, a despair, as for a moment he was met with nothing but vacant expressions from other patrons. People who were probably waiting around for someone like you to become available, so for ten minutes they could forget about their woeful existence and treat you like an object just so that they could feel like that had an ounce of power in this world.

But Ortega did have power. And tonight, he was using it.

“Fuck,” he hissed, sucking in his lip and biting down a little too hard as he searched for you, pushing past others who were drunk out of their own minds on moonshine, and other alcohol likely not made legally. Prohibition can get them later, he thought as he traversed through the crowd.

And then, cowering in the corner, there you sat. Surrounded by men and women, various hands trying to take off some of your clothing. One man pulled at the collar of your shirt while another undid your belt buckle. A woman sat on one of the men’s laps kept pouring you drinks, clearly hoping you’d sip enough that you’d lose all inhibitions and just let them have their way.

You looked terrified.

Ortega knew that it wouldn’t work simply asking you to go to a private room with him right now; he would have to either force these people off you or pull out the big guns to assert some form of authority. Fortunately, he came prepared.

“Excuse me?” he said, approaching the table entirely. Behind the fright in your eyes was a slight twinkle, like a glimmer of hope had found its way to the front of your mind, allowing you for a second to believe you were going to be okay.

“Yes, sir?” you spoke, timid as anything, even though you knew you were safe now with Ortega around.

“I hate to impose on such a…beautiful moment between y’all, but you, flower, owe me,” he said, voice dropping slightly so he appeared like a disgruntled customer. It was something the two of you had agreed he could do, especially if he ever found you in a situation that was difficult to get out of. There was nothing that would ruin the party quite like a patron who didn’t think they’d had their fill, and Ortega would use the act whenever he needed you out of a situation as quickly as possible.

“I-I’m so sorry sir, but as you can see I’m a little busy right now,” you said, playing your part as always.

“I thought you might say that,” Ortega began, before reaching into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small brown leather bag, dropping it to the table. The sound of clattering metal could be heard from inside the bag, indicating it was clearly filled to the brim with money. The eyes of everyone at the table widened, your own included.

“Brought you a little something so you might…prioritise me?” he said, then turned to the men and women sat around you, “I’m sure y’all can understand?”.

The people surrounding you scoffed, shaking their heads before finally getting their hands off you. Ortega smiled at you, reaching his hand out for you to take. Grasping it softly, you allowed him to tug you out from the booth, maintaining the act he had to put on.

“Take your coins, whore, and let’s be having you,” he sneered, and you had to fight back a slight chuckle. Ortega was never anything other than a gentleman with you, and even though your relationship had become physical recently, it was oh so more special in that you actually cared for one another. You grabbed the brown bag with your free hand and nodded at him, then let him tug you along by the hand to one of the private rooms in the back of the building.

He shoved open the door with his hand and dragged you inside. Him letting go of your hand sent you spinning slightly, and as you stabilised yourself he closed the door behind him, bolting it shut. You both breathed out a sigh of relief once the door was closed, and now it was just the two of you together within these four walls.

“I’m sorry, flower, I really do hate doin’ that,” he said, dashing over to you and grabbing you by the waist. “But I hate others being on ya’ even more,” he whispered, before planting a tender kiss on your lips.

You kissed him back fiercely, your hands grasping at his jacket and bunching the material in your fists as your whole body relaxed into his arms. It had only been a couple of weeks since you’d last been able to see each other, but every moment without him by your side was agonisingly painful. There was nobody you wanted in this world except for him – your very own Pinkerton.

“I missed you,” you said softly against his lips, there barely being any space between the two of you to talk. The rim of his bowler hat brushed against your forehead, and you could feel every metal buckle and button that was on his clothing. But after being apart, you couldn’t get closer if you tried.

“I missed you too, my flower,” he said, kissing your cheek as he slipped his arms around you for a tight embrace. “But you don’t gotta miss me no more. I’m taking you out of here,” he said.

You pulled back slightly from your hug to look deep into his coffee coloured eyes. He had a look of sincerity that you’d never before seen, so stern and serious that it borderline scared you. You whispered his name, his real name, while caressing his cheek.

“What are you tryna say?” you asked, speaking quietly so not to alert others in nearby rooms of whatever he was about to say. He smiled at you lovingly, his face softening under the hold of your delicate hands.

“I’m bein’ transferred, flower. I’ll be outta here by morning. And I’m taking you with me,” he said. He slid his hand to cover yours, grasping your fingers softly, and moving to kiss the palm of your hand. His eyes never left yours as he did, wanting to gauge your reaction.

“I- I can’t just leave. Honey, they’ll kill me if they catch me sneaking off. You know they got me bound under that damn contract,” you said, that familiar feeling of being trapped rising. There was nothing more that you wanted to do than to run away and leave Brimstone behind, but you’d heard horrors of other men and women before you trying just that, and paying the price.

“I know, I know,” he sighed, resting his forehead against yours. “But we gotta try, doll. If we don’t then I-,” he sniffled, “then I’ll never see you again,”.

“Ortega…you’d be risking everything. And all for me? A prost-,” you began, but he cut you off.

“No, stop!” he said, eyes watery and pleading, “Don’t call yourself that. You’re so much more, flower. I don’t wanna ever hear you call yourself that again, you understand? I’m freeing you from this Hell,” he said.

You nodded slowly, allowing your lips to gently slip across his, planting a soft kiss there. You breathed the same air as him for a moment, just standing in silence.

“Alright. I won’t say it. But tell me this, love, how are we getting out of here?” you asked. Ortega smiled, a slight grin even, and that mischevious glint in his eye returned.

“I got Agent Mercer outside waiting with a wagon filled with everything we’ll ever need, sweet thing. I hope ya don’t mind, but I also had him pick the lock on your place earlier, and anything valuable he’s packed up for us,” he said. “Darlin’, he’s outside this building now. All we gotta do is slip outta this window and run like Hell.”

Ortega explained every plan like he had a handle on everything, but in a way that was comforting. Right now you wanted to feel like someone did know what they were doing, even if the plan was just to run for your fucking lives. But Ortega trusted Mercer, and if he’d got him on board with the plan then you at least hoped that enough preparations had been made to make this a clean getaway.

Without realising it, you were already nodding along with his plan. Ortega grinned and scooped you up into his arms, lifting you into a hug and spinning you round for a second. You laughed, clinging to his body, and then let him put you down.

“Okay, well, if Mercer already has my valuables then there ain’t nothing in that dump of an apartment I care an iota about. I just need a cloak, and we’re out of here,” you said, heading over to the closet of the room he’d chosen. Normally the two of you went upstairs to a room you often frequented with other patrons, and as such had more clothes of your own in there, but today he’d chosen a ground floor room. Now it made sense why…

“You find something, flower, and I’ll get this window cracked open!” he said, dashing over to the weakest looking frame. The windows weren’t huge, but if he could pop the glass out the frame then you’d both be well on your way.

While he worked away, fiddling with the wooden frame with a couple of tools he’d stashed in his jacket pocket, you opened up the closet. A man’s black woollen shawl was hung up; not yours, you noticed, but it would certainly do you well in the cold weather you’d be travelling in. Ortega hadn’t said where you were going, truthfully you didn’t care, so long as it wasn’t here. But you felt it better safe than sorry, and threw the shawl on for some extra warmth.

With the shawl on, you quickly went through the other drawers. You knew you were basically helping yourself to other people’s possessions, but as you had no plans to ever return, you figured one act of selfishness to get away from a life of selling yourself for next to nothing was the least you were owed. Grabbing a small satchel, you filled it with extra supplies; underwear, predominantly, but also a small handgun that was tucked away in the bottom drawer (something that was stashed in each of the private rooms – just in case).

“How’s that window coming on?” you asked, turning round to see Ortega skilfully just about to set down the glass panel inside the building so not to create noise.

“She’s come along a treat, flower,” he said, setting the glass down and then looking up at you, “Now come on! Grab that money, and let’s go!” he said.

You did as he asked, throwing the satchel over your body and stashing the brown bag of coins he’d given you on the belt of your clothing, securing it in place. You took Ortega’s hand and let him pull you through the window once he’d dropped outside, and then you made a break for it. It would surely not be long before your boss noticed your prolonged absence, given that Ortega didn’t pay them for use of that room all night like he usually did. So, you booked it.

Hand in hand, the two of you barrelled away from The Silver Palace, heading out towards the edge of town where Mercer would be waiting for you. The night was beginning to set in, and with not many gas lamps erected yet there was very limited light. A few homes gave a slight glow out onto the street, but aside from that you both ran together in the dark. Darkness that, eventually, gave way to a few lamps aside a carriage.

It felt like all your birthdays came at once as soon as your eyes lay upon the wagon, two horses at the head of it, readily strung up. Mercer was waiting next to it, fastening down the last of a white sheet which covered all the belongings he’d packed in for you both.

Blood rushed around your body as your heart struggled to keep up with the adrenaline that was coursing through your veins. Ortega kept on dragging you with him, not wanting to risk anything going wrong.

“Ortega! You made it!” Mercer said once you were finally packed up. He tipped his hat towards you as the two of you stood and collected your breath.

“Is it all ready to go?” Ortega asked, and Mercer nodded.

“Yes, sir. All packed up and ready to go. Here, take this,” he said, pulling out a sheet of paper from the inside pocket of his jacket, “It’s a map to where your new place is. Your new lives,” he said, smiling over at you.

“Mercer, we can’t ever thank you enough,” Ortega said, “I wish you well, my friend”.

“Take care of yourself, agent. You too,” Mercer said, tipping his hat towards you.

“Come on, flower, let’s go,” he said, hopping onto one of the horses before reaching down to give you a hand up onto the other. You took his hand and let him help pull you up, before swinging your leg over onto the saddle.

“Alright, you settled?” he asked, and you nodded as you grabbed the reigns.

“Yes, my love. Shall we?” you said.

“Yes,” Ortega grinned, then chuckled, “Oh, flower?” he asked.

“What is it, honey?”.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you and Ortega set off, carriage in tow, and rode into the night towards your new lives.

For more from this series, check out the Just A Date Masterlist! For more works from me, here's my main Masterlist! ❤

LadyBess xox

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

Okay, Pinterest has irritated me, so here I go.

I keep seeing posts of people saying Alastor and Valentino are equally bad, and I’m here to say: yes, but actually no.

See, here’s the thing.

Valentino abuses his workers. He physically abuses Angel and acts like a pervert. He throws huge, violent tantrums when things don’t go his way—remember his hissy fit in “Radio Killed The Video Star”? Also…he licks up Charlie’s arm. Ew.

Valentino is a creep. So is Alastor. But Alastor is not the same kind of creep.

Here’s the thing with Alastor—we only see two of his underlings, Husk and Niffty. The other beings he summons seem to be his puppets. So, what did he force these two to do?

Husk is a bartender in a hotel now. Niffty didn’t even wait for orders, she just started cleaning everything.

Neither are being forced to have their bodies violated.

Hell, even in the pilot, people keep forgetting what Husk said. “You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze? Well, you can!”

From what Husk says in the first episode, the worst parts of his new job are listening to the others “bitch and moan”. And, well, it’s working at a hotel with, at most, six other people in it. It’s not the end of the world.

And, if everyone stopped looking for ways to make the show even more traumatic…you’d see that, at least on-screen, the most Alastor did to Husk was threaten him.

That whole scene was strange in its own way. Husk warns Alastor that Mimzy means trouble. Alastor tells him to calm tf down, he’s got it handled. Husk brings up his absence. Alastor tells him, again, not to worry. Husk gets pissed off because Alastor rubbed his head like you would a cat, and says he isn’t a pet. Alastor says “But you are, haha!” Then Husk brings up the leash Alastor is on.

If Husk has been working for Alastor as long as people think he has, then he should probably know that disrespect is a big no-no. Like, he could have chosen to not bring that specific thing up. Alastor wasn’t pissed until Husk said that. And even then…what did he do, really?

Sure, he had that villain speech. He threatened to tear Husk’s soul apart if he ever said that again. He brought out Husk’s chain and pulled him to the floor. He went mid-demon for a split second. He pointed his microphone at Husk.

But, other than the chain, Husk wasn’t physically hurt.

Angel’s breakdown took a whole episode and two musical numbers. Husk was perfectly fine and eating popcorn in, at most, ten minutes.

Because, as Alastor said in the pilot, “If I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so already.” Husk knows it’s an empty threat because he isn’t currently dead. His soul isn’t currently being torn apart. Yeah, he was shaking on the floor—but who wouldn’t when faced with that, no matter how safe you may or may not be?

So, yes. Alastor and Valentino are both horrible people. They’re both creeps. But, taking what we see on-screen…Alastor is a better Overlord, at least. Come on. Do you think Valentino would let his underlings put a crown of twigs and dead roaches on him?

And, as you all know, Alastor does have morals. No one knows what they are, but they’re there.

Side note: I feel like everyone’s forgetting what usually happens in a serial killer’s process. Yeah, Alastor did kill people, but he didn’t rape them before or after. So, he’s at least got the ‘not as much of a horrible person as you could have been’ award. And as for Hell…people are killing each other in Hell all the time. Duh. It’s Hell. Alastor is remarkable because he killed Overlords, not because he killed.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

What is your view of Aemond and Daemon?

Aemond is really fun. I love that he’s like such an over-the-top kind of anime character aesthetically but also all of the overlooked second son tropes.

It’s fun how strongly him having been picked on and ignored in childhood informs the false glass jaw ego he’s developed for himself in adulthood. And how he’s become overly cruel as a result. He always wants to get his own, he wants to prove himself. He’s so quick to try to crush anyone else underfoot if given any sort of advantage because he has such a tremendous chip on his shoulder and he needs to feel powerful to make up for his youth/how much no one cares for him now because he’s so annoying lol.

The entire scene where he stole a dragon— because he kept being picked on for not having one– and then immediately attacked the other kids because he finally had the upper hand and then lost an eye and went crying to his mom really exemplifies all of this! He really doesn’t know how to be normal. And in the present he’s still trying to constantly prove himself and to command respect while just being… kind of a fuck up.

I’ve said this before, but I did love him trying to just be kind of an asshole and scare Luke in the season one finale, talking up such a big game and demanding that Luke cut out his own eye. Then Luke leaves (normal reaction!) and then Aemond tries to scare him… upon dragon back and then shdhfhfd accidentally kills him and is like “oh fuck I accidentally started a war fuck fuck fuck.” Like that is such good character writing!

I was worried that season two was going to squander it tbh with the pilot just not doing anything with his feelings about that. But now that we have episode two, I nominally enjoy him pretending that he totes did it on purpose and was just out for blood. And then in episode two he’s crying in the lap of a prostitute in a brothel, while drinking milk, and telling her that he didn’t actually mean to do it 🥺🥺 but at least B&C means that Daemon considers him a threat and wants him dead. Like yayyy he was noticed 🥺🥺

Idk he’s just so embarrassing! It’s great!

As for Daemon, I started re-watching season one recently and it’s really interesting how little anyone respects him! He and Aemond are def similar while being kind of the inverse of each other in terms of what makes them tick. Daemon is similarly a volatile fuck up, but he seems to be more genuine of a wildcard whereas Aemond is consciously trying to look cool all the time. Daemon just kind of… does stuff, hoping to get some attention from his loved ones, and is bewildered when it’s perceived as some sort of big political move. He also just seems more genuinely loyal while always being perceived as a serpent. Like imo Aemond just is happy to overtly betray people. But Daemon is more untrustworthy because he’s fucking insane, rather than deliberate malice.

There is a consistent line in the show of people just fucking up or allowing things to happen and then that being perceived in a more dramatic way they never anticipated. A lot of people have complained about how a lot of the choices in the show are accidental, and I can agree that sometimes it does go a touch too far, but with a lot of these characters I think that’s a compelling choice— like Aemond! I think it works particularly well for Daemon too. On rewatch, it really stood out to me that after Aemma and her newborn die, there’s that point where Daemon’s out drinking and the crowd, somewhat pushed by Mysaria, start cheering that Daemon’s going to be the heir now that the kid’s dead, and he’s going to be the future king etc. Essentially celebrating the deaths.

And Daemon’s just drinking, barely listening and is half heartedly like “yeah, sure. fuck it” because the crowd is cheering. He doesn’t even seem particularly ambitious in that moment. So when Viserys is completely outraged and confronts him he seems kind of surprised that it’s something that comes up at all. I get the sense that he really wasn’t thinking about it!

Frankly, I think the late season one writing, in general, flags a little bit. Once we start getting time skips, there’s a little less continuity in terms of what these characters are doing and where they’re coming from. It’s just harder to follow their day to day priorities. I find Daemon particularly the most interesting early on, because he especially just drops off the map for a bit.

But in general, I think it’s really interesting how Daemon seems mostly motivated by just wanting attention and recognition. He wants the crown as a status symbol, but he doesn’t want to rule necessarily, like I doubt he has any strong policy opinions or any desire for administrative duties lol. But he wants to be treated like he’s someone of consequence, like it wouldn’t be a joke for him to rule.

I’m not really a Daemyra shipper. Shockingly, I guess, they’re just a bit too creepy for me. But the early Daemyra dynamic was the most interesting imo. I see people frequently say that he’s only ever been interested in her for the throne and I think that’s distinctly untrue!

Before they get married, his desire for her is framed as directly at odds with him wanting the crown actually. This is encapsulated by that moment where she shows up at Dragonstone and she’s literally like “I’m the thing that standing between you and the throne” and she’s right! He could literally just punt her off the bridge where they’re having that standoff, and Viserys would no longer have an heir. Would it be smart? No, it would be catastrophic! But he was obviously ready to throw down with Otto, who is literally there representing Viserys. It clearly wasn’t good sense holding him back.

He’s a character without much strategy, he’s just ready to do what the fuck ever, at any given moment, just to get people mad at him. He wants attention. I think it says something about Daemon, that he is so emotionally unregulated, and so immature, that he does have this continued bond with his 15-year-old niece. He’s grooming her for sure, but there’s this element of like shdgd that’s his buddy, you know? He emotionally relates to a 15-year-old, and then suddenly Rhaenyra’s grown up, but he’s the same. I think the last episode highlighted that very well when Rhaenyra says that she used to view him as a challenge as a child, but now she has too many challenges of her own. (If they lean more into their relationship fracturing and her disillusionment with him I might actually give a damn about them lol)

In season two, it’s so shocking he’s somewhat briefly the voice of reason. Frankly, he’s correct to point out that Rhaenyra should not be just randomly looking for her dead son alone and in enemy territory. And, sorry, he’s right, but she is shirking her duties while they’re in a civil war. I’m not really arguing about whether or not he’s like correct about everything now (Blood and Cheese was… a terrible fucking choice) but like it’s interesting that in his old fucking age he’s trying to rise to the occasion and strategize where he can. I honestly think that suggests that, while he has his own entitled feelings about power, and what he views more as his brother’s crown etc, he does love Rhaenyra and is trying to do right by her. But he’s just… such a perverse mess.

I also remember it was extremely controversial that he choked her at the end of season one, but I mean it’s in keeping with him as a person. He’s volatile, he’s awful. He killed his first wife with a rock, he barely mourned his second wife at all, like he was fucking Rhaenyra at the funeral. He’s just a terrible, terrible mess but that’s what makes him compelling.

[multiversefandomsrandomness]

Melissa O'Neil and Eric Winter never expected Lucy Chen and Tim Bradford to get together on The Rookie. When the ABC police procedural debuted in 2018, Chen and Bradford were paired up for the first time as rookie and training officer, respectively. And while they have both made strides professionally, a growing legion of fans began clamoring for them to become more than just colleagues — so much so that creator and showrunner Alexi Hawley pivoted to a slow-burn romance.

"When this all started, there were these hashtags, and it's funny because we, as actors, threw around #Tucy and #Chenford early on, but it was really us playing with the fact that we were partners," Winter told TV Guide in a joint interview with O'Neil. "The fans truly grabbed onto it from Day 1 and said, 'They're a couple! This needs to happen.' And we're like, 'How?! I'm so mean to her. I'm bossing her around. I'm a jerk all the time.' I don't think it really set in for us until they entertained it."

There have certainly been a few close calls for "Chenford" fans over the years — including a fake confession scene, where O'Neil and Winter were convinced that Hawley was ready to pull the trigger on their characters' relationship.

"At that point, [the chatter] was really happening online, and we thought for sure that maybe there was subtext," O'Neil recalled of shooting that scene. "We were asking [Hawley]: 'Is this a true confession that she's masking as a thing?' And he goes, 'No, it's not. This is a joke.' So I don't know when it clicked. But I was surprised because even at that point, it was not a thing."

The fans finally got their wish in Season 5 of The Rookie. Now heading into the show's sixth season, which premieres Feb. 20, Chen and Bradford's work-life balance will be put to the test — and fans definitely won't want to miss the milestone 100th episode.

In their first in-depth interview, which took place during the Television Critics Association press tour in Pasadena, O'Neil and Winter chatted about the evolution of Chenford, how they work together as scene partners, and Winter's unexpected love for TikTok.

Let's get one of the most important questions out of the way: Who do you think fell first?

Winter: I get asked this all the time. [To O'Neil] I'm sure you do, too.

O'Neil: I don't get asked this.

Winter: I always say Lucy.

OK, let's say Lucy fell first. Can you pinpoint a specific moment when you noticed a shift in this dynamic?

O'Neil: The first time Lucy ever played it — or that I intentionally played it as an actor — was definitely at that kiss moment. He was so cruel to her so many times that she was like, "I have nothing to do with this dude." And then there's that moment where there's physical intimacy, and then chemistry does what chemistry does, and now she's looking at him in a way that she didn't before. But there's always been love.

Winter: The only reason I say Lucy fell first is Tim has so many walls up, and he went through such a bad situation with his ex-wife. Tim had to let a lot more down to go: "I'm going to really let myself get to this place again with a partner and somebody I'm in the force with." I feel like that's my only justification, but I don't think either of us really know.

O'Neil: Yeah, there's not a point I can pinpoint from an actor perspective. And even when I think about all the times that Lucy was going out of her way to express her care, I really think that's just her character. The only time I thought it was a little weird — and I tried to fish around to be like, "Why is she behaving like this?" — was when she followed him. I think it was in the pilot or shortly after.

Winter: When I'm going to his ex-wife's?

O'Neil: Yeah, I show up, and I'm like, "What are you doing?!"

Winter: But I do think that was an early part when fans started to go, "There's something there. Why is she, as a rookie, going so far away out of her way to protect this guy who's such a jerk to her? What does she see in him that she might like?"

O'Neil: You know what's a fun tidbit? The first time that Chen and Bradford got into a fight — it was the first fight where she's saying that she's going out of her way to try to save him, and he's giving her shit for it, for suicidal ideation or something like that. She's like, "I was trying to protect you." [Richard T. Jones, who plays Wade] was like, "I saw right from that scene that you guys were going to be something." And we were like, "What are you talking about?" Richard's the original Chenford person!

When you play work partners who eventually become romantic partners, there's an important shift in physical and emotional intimacy that has to occur. Compared to last season, do you feel like there is a difference in the way you approach these "Chenford" scenes this season?

O'Neil: I'm super conscious of a lot of those choices, because personally, as a woman, I am very different with my romantic partner than I would ever be with a work person. So I've actually really enjoyed having the opportunity to play that difference. It's been really fun to figure out how to layer in that kind of intimacy in a work environment that's not obtuse and on the nose. But if you know what's going on between them, you're like, "Oh, that was cute, the way they looked at each other at work."

Winter: We've been very, very mindful of trying to be true to what it would be like to be them at work as a couple. Also, [we're considering] Tim's past, her past, and how that bleeds together. It's something we do take very seriously as far as trying to keep it as authentic as possible. As actors, I think the only way it's shifted is that we're more aware of it.

As characters, I think it's part of the fun of the storyline — the fact that it is awkward at times, or maybe we're trying to be a little bit affectionate out in public, but then we pull it back. We have to do our job, and we have to take our jobs seriously. [As Tim] I can't treat her differently. Even though she's my girlfriend, I'm a sergeant, and she's supposed to follow my command. There's a lot of things that you can play with.

After 100 episodes, you are certainly two of the only cast members I can think of who are still in a lot of the scenes together. What do you think you bring out in each other as scene partners? What do you think are the keys to fostering that sense of trust?

O'Neil: Eric and I are both dragons. This is our [Chinese zodiac] year. I am saying that because we learned that about each other on the pilot. We've always had a shorthand, and we're very open to collaborating. Or rather, I would say, Eric's very patient and gracious [laughs] with me when I'm like, "Hey, can I pitch you something?" But he's always down to workshop a scene, and I really appreciate that.

As their relationship has unfolded, we're navigating a lot of different things that require a certain degree of familiarity and intimacy — even just relationally. We recently shot a scene [in episode 606] that was super vulnerable, and I really feel like our friendship has facilitated the ability for those scenes to go deep in a way that's honest and true.

Winter: We both care a lot about the show and these characters. So we collaborate well together. She likes to pitch me a lot of ideas.

O'Neil: [Laughs.] He's so patient!

Winter: She wants to run my lines all the time before I've learned them. [O'Neil laughs.] I'm patient with that, because we learn lines very differently. But look, at the end of the day, we had a big scene this season with each other, and she said, "Hey, can I talk to my scene partner for a second? I want to talk to you about something." So that trust is important. But you're right. I didn't even think about what you just said, but it's true: We're the only two characters that have been together since Day 1.

O'Neil: Oh, wow.

Winter: [Alyssa Diaz's] Angela lost her rookie, [Nathan Fillion's] Nolan, as you know, has obviously moved on with different people, and [Afton Williamson's] Bishop is no longer here with us, so there's a lot of changes. Listen, we've been so fortunate that they're crafting such good strong characters for us that it hasn't ever gotten boring. I could sit in the shot with [O'Neil], and we're doing the pod car scenes, and every time we have a blast. It always feels fresh and new.

What new layers are you finding in your characters — both individually and as a couple — this season?

Winter: What we're gonna see, and what I like, is a lot of authenticity about a couple learning how to navigate these waters of growth in career and as a couple. I just know that in real life, in my own relationships, it's not always easy to navigate changes in careers and relationships. I'm not saying changes in respect to [Chen and Bradford's relationship specifically], but it could be a different position, like being detective, whatever it is. These are jumps in a job that can take a toll on a relationship, and given Tim's past with his ex wife, it's a lot. So I think it would have been a shame to not feel them go through those challenges and try to navigate that as a couple, because that's what you want. You want to see real couples have real problems and figure it out. Her being a detective is a tough thing for Tim to go through.

Tim diving more into his past is always an eye-opener for me to know why he is the way he is and the challenges he's always kept everybody away from. We're diving into a lot of that to understand more about him as a person, and [Lucy] is helping to bring out a lot of the best in Tim to help him navigate that.

O'Neil: This season, Lucy's going through a set of circumstances that we've never had the opportunity to see her go through. Even as the actor who's going through the paces with her, I'm doing things and feeling things that I have not explored prior. Half the time, I'm like, "How am I going to feel when I get there?" And I don't know, because I haven't even been in a lot of these situations myself. So [as an actor] you want to get squeezed in that way, and I've enjoyed it. In all transparency, I have also felt really vulnerable at times, because some of the stuff that we're touching [on] are things that I don't think I would ever elect to show my co-workers, let alone a bunch of human beings watching it at home.

What can you tease about the 100th episode?

Winter: We dance! We have a good dance with a nice little confessional of information. Tim opens up to her a bit during the dance.

I don't think we ever saw any of the other characters react to news of their relationship.

Winter: We've talked about that, actually.

O'Neil: Yeah, I do feel like that's a bit of a loss that they didn't do that.

Winter: And by the way, I don't think Tim knows about Nolan [previously secretly dating Lucy] either.

That was going to be my next question!

Winter: I think that would be an amazing episode. And I would love for that episode to come out!

O'Neil: I mean, I feel like it would have to be a flashback at this point.

Winter: Because I think there's so much gold to mine in that discomfort, just as a guy in my own life —

O'Neil: Wait, wait! With where they are now though, I feel like it would have to be a flashback. She must have told him by this point..

Winter: Nope.

O'Neil: [Looking slightly horrified but also unable to suppress her laugh.] Are you serious?

Winter: It's never easy for a guy to find out that he's dating someone that is his current friend or coworker's ex that he didn't know for all this time. I think that's the beauty of it. You didn't know how to tell me about it, and Nolan definitely is not going to tell me about it, and there's so much fun to have with that story. Just an episode of it would be so fun.

O'Neil: Yeah, that would be funny.

What are some of your favorite Chenford moments?

O'Neil: I love the false confession. I think it's hilarious, and we had a blast shooting it. I will never forget watching playback and watching his face respond. The way that he was responding made me laugh even harder. I thought that scene was just so well-executed. Anytime we're in the pod car, we're knobs, we always have so much fun, and it's fun for everybody else. It's a blast.

Winter: It's called Pod Car Karaoke when we're in the car. We're goofballs. We sing constantly.

O'Neil: So loud! The second they yell cut — and sometimes even when they've already yelled action, we're still listening to the radio lip syncing. It's bad.

Winter: There's been so many great, fun Chenford scenes. I loved saving her in the barrel.

O'Neil: That's a stunning moment.

Winter: That's a great scene. That was such a great episode for her, and I think it was just such a pivotal moment again for them and for the fans. Me giving her the ring back, which was one of her pitches.

O'Neil: That was a pitch! I pitched that!

Winter: She said, "If we could bring the ring back, it'd be such a cool thing because he found it out there." I don't want to get in trouble for that, but that was her idea.

O'Neil: We did that on the day though. I'm always pitching stuff!

Winter: And that was a great one!

Eric, you recently joined TikTok and have become a bit of an overnight sensation with fans. What made you want to join the platform now? And when will we get another Chenford TikTok?

O'Neil: This guy used all of us to make his TikTok huge. [Takes the phone recording the conversation off the table and puts it in his face.] Tell them why. This is the time to plug.

Winter: [My wife] Roselyn [Sánchez] pushed me to do TikTok, no question about it. I have never been [more] negative on a platform about my life. I was like, "Never will I join TikTok ever."

O'Neil: He thought it was cringe. [Puts phone down.]

Winter: I'm launching a rum in April, and I was like, "I want to be able to reach my fans and talk about things I'm doing." I feel like maybe it resonated because I was so anti-TikTok, and then my first TikTok was very much about me caving. What I've noticed that the fans respond to [is content that] is so opposite of Bradford. They're so confused by what they're seeing. A lot of them are going, "I don't know if I can look at Eric the same way anymore." They're seeing this goofball side of me, but on the show, I'm clearly not. On Instagram, I don't do any of that.

O'Neil: Instagram is his family Facebook page.

Winter: It's like, "Here is my life. These are my friends! This is what I do!" And then I'm just a weirdo on TikTok. But [Melissa] loves TikTok.

O'Neil: I had burner accounts. I wouldn't go public with it because he teased me so hard that I was like, "I don't have a TikTok."

Winter: Yeah, I would tease her. Jenna [Dewan] is obsessed with TikTok. And now I get a lot of credit for recruiting Mekia [Cox] and Alyssa.

O'Neil: You did recruit Mekia and Alyssa because they're in their mom era, and they were both like, "Why is Eric doing TikTok?!"

Winter: Because they knew I was so anti-TikTok! They were like, "There has to be a reason!" So I recruited them. [points at O'Neil] I didn't recruit her to the platform, but I did inspire her to start doing more and get back on. Inspire might be a big word, but I got her back on.

O'Neil: I haven't found the right audio yet to do a Chenford TikTok, and that's why we haven't done another one.

Winter: I'm trying to get Tru [Valentino] and Richard on. But I'm glad you're enjoying my alter-ego.

I would ask who is better at TikTok, but I think Eric is in the lead right now.

[Winter laughs maniacally.]

O'Neil: He is in the lead because he's just using everybody!

Winter: Did you see my latest one? Did you see my jail one?

Yes!

Winter: I'm actually proud of the jail one. I came up with the jail one myself. I found this [audio], and I was like, "I think I'm gonna do this, and it would be really funny with Alyssa because we're like besties on the show, and then she's telling me to calm down." I'm actually not just doing them. Sometimes, there's a thought process to what I'm putting out there. [Laughs.]

The Rookie Season 6 premieres Tuesday, Feb. 20 at 9/8c on ABC. Episodes stream the next day on Hulu.

[jokeroutsubs]

Joker Out Subs - Queue and A / 6.12.2023 Amsterdam

Hello and welcome to a very special episode of the JokerOutSubs podcast. On the 6th December I was fortunate enough to be able to travel to see Joker Out perform in Amsterdam, and while there, myself and another member of JokerOutSubs decided to interview fans in the queue outside the venue. The following is a compilation of some of our favourite responses, as well as a short interview with Mark Pirc, who works with Joker Out in creative and visual direction.

We hope you enjoy this episode of 'Queue and A'.

So, have you been to a Joker Out gig before or is this your first one?

Baby Boo: It's my first one. Baby Boo: I've been there yesterday, in Den Haag. Grace/JOS: Oh, how was it? Baby Boo: It was amazing! Grace/JOS: Are you looking forward to repeating it again tonight? Baby Boo: Yeah! Grace/JOS: And did you get here ok? Because I know the boys had a little bit of a tough time! Baby Boo: Oh well, um, my one and a half hour trip took me three hours, so… (all laugh) Grace/JOS: So you're glad to be here now! Baby Boo: Last night, and it was my first one. Grace/JOS: Oh you went to Den Haag! And how was it? Baby Boo: Ahh, I'm still emotionally and psychologically recovering! (All laugh). Grace/JOS: What, from the gig or from the journey here? Baby Boo: No, the gig, because you look forward to it for months and months and months, and then you have all these hopes but you don't think they'll happen, and then everything good happens. Grace/JOS: Oh, amazing! Baby Boo: And you know, I got a pick from Jan Grace/JOS: (gasps) Baby Boo: So I've already won. (All laugh) Grace/JOS: Maybe you get another one tonight, who knows? Baby Boo: Maybe! I'm going for Nace (laughter) but I already promised, if I got a Nace pic that I would give it to ---- here because she… Baby Boo: I'm a Nace girlie Grace/JOS: Nace girlie, yep! So, as I say, have you been to a gig before? Baby Boo: I've been. I also went yesterday, but I also went to Tavastia in Finland. Grace/JOS: OHHHH NO WAY?! You witnessed it, in all it's glory! Baby Boo: Yes, I went to the second one. I saw it being announced and I was like, you know what? Travelling to Finland it is! (Laughter). So I went, and I had the pleasure to see Kaarija also! (Laughter) I was at the second gig, so it was amazing. Grace/JOS: Oh incredible! Baby Boo: This is my twelfth gig. Grace/JOS: TWELFTH? Oh my God, which other ones have you been to? Baby Boo: Er, so I count the Eurovision pre-party in London, and then I did night two pre-show, live show night two, er…grand final (laughter), did both nights in Dublin, did the whole UK tour and then we saw them in Oslo as well. Grace/JOS: Oh my God, so committed! What about you? Baby Boo: I have a few less, I did both nights in Dublin and then in Oslo, and now I'm here! Baby Boo: Manchester and Glasgow, and Glasgow was the best one so far. I also went to Stockholm and Wroclaw Grace/JOS: Oh, amazing! Baby Boo: (continues) Den Haag yesterday…I can't even keep up, I've been to that many now! (All laugh). I'm losing count, and then I have the UK tour booked next year. Grace/JOS: Ohhh, I'll see you there! Baby Boo: Yes to two, as of yesterday. The first was in Vienna, the Halloween gig and the second one was yesterday. Grace/JOS: So you saw the pilot costumes? Baby Boo: I did! (All laugh) Grace/JOS: And how was that? Baby Boo: Oh that was an experience for sure! (Laughter) I'll just say, my sister was so jealous, but I sent her loads of videos so that was fine, but oh my God, it was an experience. Grace/JOS: Amazing, I'm very jealous.

So is there anything particularly that you're looking forward to seeing tonight, any particular songs you want to hear?

Baby Boo: Er, I'm really hoping because I've seen that they played it last night, the full setlist. Grace/JOS: Ohh, yeah yeah yeah, fingers crossed. Baby Boo: Proti Toku, because we missed out in Oslo (laughter), I'm so upset! Grace/JOS: We all want Proti Toku! Baby Boo: Omamljeno Telo, thats my bitch! Grace/JOS: YAAAAAAAS! (Laughter) Baby Boo: Yeah, I would love to hear the NGVOT, and especially Kris talking Dutch hopefully! Grace/JOS: Kris girlie, then? Baby Boo: Yeah definitely! (All laugh)

So, Bojan occassionally says both 'welcome' and 'Umazane misli' in different languages, so how would you say those phrases in your languages?

Baby Boo: So, welcome is obviously 'Willkommen', and the other one is 'schmutzige Gedanken'. (All laugh) Grace/JOS: That sounds sexy. Schmutzige Gedanken! Baby Boo: Yeah, they said that in Vienna as well. Grace/JOS: Oh did they? Yeah! Baby Boo: But really really well too, like without an accent, as if they were natives. Grace/JOS: Oh incredible! That's really nice! Grace/JOS: Now, see, you're from England so welcome is 'welcome'. Umazane misli, do you know the translation? Baby Boo: Sometimes they say 'dirty thoughts'… Grace/JOS: There you go! Baby Boo: But if they're trying to be posh, they say indecent no-…in-…indecent notions? (All laugh) Grace/JOS: I love that, 'if they're trying to be posh' Baby Boo: I can't even say it, because I can't try and be posh. (All laugh) Grace/JOS: And…welcome and Umazane misli? Baby Boo: Uh, welcome is 'witajcie', and Umazane misli, we can actually say 'umazane myśli' Grace/JOS: Oh, so really close then! Baby Boo: Yeah! But at the show, they said, I think, 'brudne myśli' Grace/JOS: So, did you say Iceland? Baby Boo: Icelandic would just be 'Velkominn'. Grace/JOS: Ok, and what about Umazane misli, or 'dirty thoughts'? Baby Boo: I don't know, that isn't in my… Grace/JOS: That's not in your vocabulary! (Laughs) Baby Boo: No! That's not in the family chat language (All laugh) that I know of my Icelandic that's still there, is not 'dirty thoughts' Grace/JOS: How do you say those two phrases in Dutch? Baby Boo: So, welcome would be 'Welkom' and… Grace/JOS: Thats nice and easy Baby Boo: Yeah, nice and easy! I think 'dirty thoughts', I would personally say it's difficult to translate but..I would say… (laughter) Grace/JOS: The blushing has begun… Baby Boo: Yes…um…'geile gedachten' (giggles) Baby Boo: Welcome in Welsh is 'croeso', and then, um- ugh, I'm not even going to pronounce it in Slovenian, I'm really sorry (all laugh) is 'meddyliau budr', something like that. Grace/JOS: We'll go with that, yeah! And what about Irish? Baby Boo: Ok so, for welcome you can say 'fáilte' or 'fáilte míle', that just means a thousand welcomes because we like to exaggerate shit (all laugh). And then for Umazane misli you say, 'smaointe salach'. Grace/JOS: Sm- smointe? Baby Boo: Smaointe salach Grace/JOS: Salach. Baby Boo: Yep!

So speaking of languages, most of Joker Out's songs to date are in Slovenian. How do you feel about that? Is that a plus for you or is it a minus?

Baby Boo: Yeah, I really love getting to experience music in other languages, and I love when the music just like, can, um, translate emotions, without having to understand every word of it. Grace/JOS: Thats such a cute answer, I love that! Baby Boo: Err, for me it's really nice to have, like, different language, because I enjoy learning new languages so it helps with learning new words as well Grace/JOS: Have you learned any Slovenian? Baby Boo: Well I'm still trying because there's not really…well, for me it's not really easy to get access to how to learn, so I'm still looking into that. Grace/JOS: Have you got the Memrize app yet? Baby Boo: No, I haven't Grace/JOS: There you go, so there's a reccommendation for all our listeners, the Memrize app has Slovenian on it. Baby Boo: Well, I don't really care, because I like music from every country. If I just like the vibe of the music it's OK for me, um, so, I listened to a lot of music before I knew how to speak English, and then I liked a lot of stuff too, so, it's pretty much the same for me. Grace/JOS: I love that answer, yeah, that's such a good point as well. Baby Boo: I really like that it's in a different language, because they're so much more expressive, because if you, like, choose New Wave and Novi Val, it just packs so much more of a punch. All: Yeah… Baby Boo: So I like it in their own language more. Baby Boo: I do want to say though, I'm not against them doing English the way some people are. Baby Boo: no, no, no! Grace/JOS: Sure! Baby Boo: Because I think they should do what they want to do, and not every song has to be this intense, poetic masterpiece, sometimes they can be fun and that's fine. Baby Boo: Um, for me, it feels quite freeing to listen to songs that aren't in your language, because you don't have to think about what it's about, or like, I dont know…there's some of their songs that sound really happy, like, um…ne… Grace/JOS: Ne govoriva več o tem? Baby Boo: Yeah that one! Um, it sounds happy but it's not, but if I want to listen to it and think that it's happy then I can. If I want to listen to it and think oh, this was like, a sad time for Kris, then I can also do that. I just think… Grace/JOS: So it's music for every mood! Baby Boo: Yeah! I just think music…you don't need to listen to music in your own language to like the music.

And, do you have a favourite meme or inside joke that's related to Joker Out?

Baby Boo: Oh no! Grace/JOS: Oh dear, what? (Laughs) Baby Boo: Soon! Grace/JOS: SOON! (All laugh) None of us ever want to hear that again, ok? Baby Boo: Honestly, the ones in the last couple days, if they hadn't been for a gig I was going to about them not getting there, they would have been funny to me, because all the just, the faces on random objects… Grace/JOS: Ohh, the ones they've been sharing on their stories, yeah yeah yeah! Baby Boo: I enjoy that, yeah. Grace/JOS: Yep, any from you? Baby Boo: Honestly it's still Kaarija related, I'm sorry (laughter) but it is the 'are you?' All: ARE YOU?! (Laughter) Baby Boo: I gave Bojan yesterday a bracelet that said 'are you?' in Slovenian Grace/JOS: Oh, amazing! And how is that said in Slovenian? Baby Boo: I didn't throw it, because I'm not a jerk who throws things at people (laughter), it's just 'si ti?' Grace/JOS: Oh yeah, of course, yeah, absolutely. Baby Boo: Favourite meme, favourite inside joke right? Turtle… Grace/JOS: TURTLEEE (laughter). Do you know what, we've had a couple of people say that today, that's a popular one! Baby Boo: Yeah, because like, what, like Nace just stops the interview for like a minute or two (laughter) just to like, passionately talk about turtles. Its like, that was like the moment that I was like, oh my God Nace. Grace/JOS: So do you have a favourite meme or inside joke that's related to the Joker Out fanbase? Something just popped into your head, I can see it in your eyes. Baby Boo: How fat Kris' arse is. (All laugh) No, I'm being deadly serious. It was the first thing I noticed when I was watching the Carpe Diem music video, I was like, he's got a really nice bum. That was the first thing I noticed, so, I love how it's ongoing. Grace/JOS: That is my favourite answer of the day so far! Go on then, what about you? Baby Boo: I've just been repeatedly saying 'slay pose!' Grace/JOS: Slay pose! Yes, love it!

So, can you describe your favourite member of Joker Out without saying their name or the instrument that they play?

Grace/JOS: You were born ready for this question! Baby Boo: Dresses in the colours of a badger, of the forest. (All laugh). Grace/JOS: Hunting colours! Baby Boo: Is feline! Is somewhere else even though he's onstage, he's not actually there. Grace/JOS: I love it. We all know who you're talking about. Baby Boo: We all know. Baby Boo: Um…ohh! It's a puppy in the form of…more of a lion. (All laugh) Grace/JOS: What?! Baby Boo: He's pretty intense but gorgeous. Grace/JOS: Ok… Baby Boo: Um…he's adorable definitely, and he has some very good vibes with another one of the band. (All laugh) Grace/JOS: Ok, ok! Baby Boo: And lots of tattoos. Grace/JOS: And lots of tattoos, alright, yep, ok. Baby Boo: Well, I have one but it's only related to the show yesterday. Grace/JOS: Oh, go on! Baby Boo: Sinterklaas! Grace/JOS: Sinterklaas, ok! (Laughs) Yeah, I think we can guess who that's about! Baby Boo: Big beautiful brown eyes, whatever you say handsome! Grace/JOS: (Laughs) Yeah! Baby Boo: My ones more like, smash (All laugh) but if I had to actually describe him, um, what was that thing they call him? A troubadour. Grace/JOS: A troubadour, oh yes OK, I think we all know who that is. Grace/JOS: A sunflower? Wait, hold on. Baby Boo: Like, he- he is a sunflower. If a sunflower was a person, it's him. Grace/JOS: Thats really sweet, what a nice way to describe someone! Baby Boo: I watched an interview the other day, back from the Eurovision days, where the interviewer showed them flags, right? And they had to sing the song that that country had sent that year, and my favourite member actually defended my flag, the Austrian flag. Because he was saying 'thats not the Austrian flag!' Grace/JOS: Oh yeah! That's not what it looks like! Baby Boo: The others were like yeah, it is, and he was like, no no no, it has a…it has a…now I don't know the word, it has a bird in the middle. (Laughter) That's my favourite member. Grace/JOS: That's such a nice one! Baby Boo: Can I add to that? So that same guy, I know exactly who you're talking about (laughter), I did a Manchester flag. It was an England flag and I'd written Manchester on it, everybody signed it in the queue. After the show he was like oh yeah, I seen your flag, I thought it was the Georgian flag, but he said to me 'did you come from Georgia?' And I said 'no' (all laugh) I drove two hours to come, and he was like 'oh! Is it not the Georgia flag?' and I said 'no, it's the England flag'. Then he said, 'oh, the Manchester flag!' (all laugh) and I said 'no, the England flag!' and then he looked at me, really puzzled, and he went; 'I didn't know England had a flag.' (All laugh)

And, could you tell us any positive stories or experiences that have come into your life due to being a part of this fan community?

Baby Boo: Well, I've made a lot of friends in this community. Yeah, you can see over there, none of those people I've met before (laughter) but for today they are my best friends now. Grace/JOS: Queue friends are the best kind of friends for sure. Baby Boo: Yeah, I think they help a lot with panic attacks and all that kind of stuff in your life, and new friends and all that kind of stuff. And my English is getting better. Grace/JOS: Oh amazing! Oh that's incredible! Baby Boo: Well, the show yesterday was really fun, I had a great time, um, I've been to many shows but the crowd was really nice here, and normally it's just everyone wanting to push in and here everyone was just chill, helping eachother, so it was a really great experience. Grace/JOS: Oh that's amazing! Baby Boo: I was planning on going to The Hague concert by myself, um, and then a message came from a girl on the page like, hey, does people want to go together? And then a group was formed, and this group is like, my closest friends right now, so I really love them. Grace/JOS: That's so nice! Baby Boo: She's one of them. Baby Boo: I met her in the group chat. Grace/JOS: I was gonna say, so group chat again for you? Baby Boo: Yep. Baby Boo: We met! We met first gig in Dublin, and then the next thing I know they announced the Nordic tour. We did try for Helsinki but obviously that was not going to happpen. Grace/JOS: Bloodbath. Baby Boo: Yeah! And then I was like, I bought these Oslo tickets, we're going to go see my best mate there, and she was like 'cool', and then here we are, and we've booked four more dates for the next tour as well. Grace/JOS: Oh, incredible! So the real Joker Out is the friendships you made along the way. (Laughter)

To be continued >>

Interviews by IG @GBoleyn123 Audio editing and design by IG @s_aaaraa Umazane misli clip from IG @ch4rlie.21

[vikenticomeshome]

You Duncebuckets! You've Captured Their Stunt Doubles!

Alright, I did not draw this myself. This was something I commissioned from a well known artist called Komori. You can see several examples of their work on Deviantart. They also have instructions on how to commission pieces for yourself. https://www.deviantart.com/commissionkomori

Most of my followers probably recognize this trio of characters from the long-running children's educational show, Cyberchase. It started out as a pilot in 1999, and it became a proper show in 2002. It's been on-and-off hiatus ever since, and it is still making new episodes roughly 25 years later.

Of course, these aren't our usual Cybersquad trio. No, it looks like Matt, Jackie and Inez couldn't make it to Cyberspace today. Maybe they got caught with their Sqwak pads and got detention. Maybe they slept through the Hacker Alert. Instead, Motherboard had to round up Slider, Creech, and Shari to substitute. Now, why are they dressed up as our regular trio? Maybe they thought the disguises would help them avoid The Hacker's wrath later. Matt, Jackie, and Inez can always go back to the real world after beating The Hacker, but these three have to keep living in the same Cyberspace as him. Still, this was short notice, so they didn't have much time to cobble together disguises. Of course, dunce-buckets being dunce-buckets, Buzz and Delete fell for it. Remember, they fell for this, too.

Of course, our trio of heroes isn't celebrating. The villains believe that they have secret information that will help defeat Motherboard once and for all. Since this is a TV Y7 show, the villains really only have one option for getting the information out. Mind you, I don't think Silder, Creech, or Shari actually have the information. In fact, I doubt that the real Matt, Jackie, and Inez have the information. Tickle-torturing the heroes is a common trope in children's shows. While there are tickling scenes in Cyberchase, they never did anything quite like this.

So, let's go through this picture, so that I can talk about all the little details that went into it.

Let's start at the left with Slider. Matt's outfit is pretty simple, though the green turtleneck and blue jeans are a bit outside of Slider's comfort zone. He definitely prefers his usual hoodie and shorts combo. Then again, he's probably wishing he was wearing the red-and-white sneakers right about now.

Of course, his skin-tone is nowhere near Matt's own, so this disguise has its limits. However, he did try to dye his hair. I'm sure he went to his dad, Coop, for help. I don't imagine either of them know much about dying hair though. They missed his roots by a mile. I'm not sure if he did his hair a bit more fluffy to get closer to Matt's hair-style, or if that's just a side-affect of his current predicament.

Now, while my prompt for Komori was very detailed, the hand posing was something I didn't cover. That was left up to the artist. I really like the posing on Slider. with his hand squeezed into fists and his body leaning back, it looks like he's trying to pull his hands out of the restraints. And his big feet get a big soft spinning brush to drive him crazy.

And now we get to Creech. I think I like her disguise the best. It was easy enough to get ahold of the pink long-sleeved shirt, the purple vest, and the glasses with the wonky frames. At this point, the Cybersquad are probably famous enough that their outfits are mass-produced for cosplay. However, as far as I'm aware, Creech's hair is just a solid shape without individual strands. Otherwise, the circuit board traces in her hair wouldn't make sense.

While she could attempt to dye her hair (or would it be painting?), she doesn't have a way to style it. So, she probably bought a Nezzie wig at the same shop where she got the clothes. Yeah, it doesn't really fit properly, and you can definitely see her green hair. Contrary to popular belief, Inez doesn't have antennae, so this disguise was doomed regardless. Still, this was the best she could do under the circumstances.

Creech's biggest fans in the audience are probably wondering about those marks on her hands and feet. One of Creech's big design motifs is that she has more cyborg elements than either Slider or Shari. Either of them could probably pass for Earthlies, but Creech has circuit-board traces visible on her stomach, on her back, and even in her hair. She also has rings around her elbow joints. Of course, when she's wearing Inez's outfit, all of these elements are lost. So, I had Komori add some non-canon elements. Creech gets circuit-board traces on the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet, as well as some rings around her toe joints. I thought about giving her rings on her finger-joints as well. However, I decided against it in the end. I thought it might clutter things up.

Nezzie's blue boots were probably a bit stifling, given Creech's appreciation of flip-slops. The villains were so courteous to let her feet breathe. And then they brought in the mechanical hands to tickle her brains out. You win some, and you lose some.

The hand-posing here was a great idea from Komori. I interpret it as Creech being overwhelmed and pleading with the villains using her experience as the Big Kahuna of Tikiville to negotiate the immediate release of herself and her friends.

And now, we get to Shari. On the plus side, she's getting just as much attention as Slider and Creech. That's also the down-side. She did an amazing job with her Jackie disguise though. She did a much better hair dye job than Slider, with her hair going from dark blue to black. She wasn't willing to drastically change her hair-style, however. While the stocks block the view of her whole outfit, we can see that she has Jackie's yellow sweater, Jackie's red necklace and earrings, and even Jackie's yellow scrunchie. She also managed to conjure up Jackie's unique choice of shoes. Her glasses would give her away pretty quickly, but she would have gotten captured even faster if she had been unable to see.

And now, Shari holds onto the stocks for dear life as those bristle brushes at her feet do what they do best.

The background of this picture was meant to follow the design language of the Grim Wreaker ship, since that is where they would be. We get the light purple walls, the blue-green pipes,and the blue and red-violet boxes.

I'm sure that these three will get out soon. Slider in particular has gotten himself out of more difficult jams than this one, and Coop may actually kill The Hacker over this. (Don't worry, he'll come back anyway. He always does.) I also doubt that you can just kidnap the Great Kahuna of Tikiville or Stumblesnore's favorite Frogsnorts student without retribution. But, of course, we're all waiting for the main Cybersquad to get off their asses, solve some math, and save their friends. And of course, the main trio owe them all big time for this. Even if the rescue attempt fell through, and Matt, Jackie, and Inez ended up sitting next to them, I guarantee that Buzz and Delete would screw up and open the stocks by mistake.

So, there you have it. This is an amazing picture. I gave alot of details to Komori, and they knocked it out of the park. I knew their cutesy style would work very well for these characters.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

for, ahem, no particular reason, i decided to catch up on brilliant minds today instead of watching… other things. so! have a random assortment of brilliant minds thoughts:

the “outed by my phone’s text-to-speech feature while driving a failing patient to the bronx for treatment while my also gay colleague stabs the patient in the eye with a needle i keep in my car” scene in ep 3 was… a lot. medical drama nonsense, yes, but also a lot of fun for me personally.

(i do think this means the show is setting nichols up as a potential romance for wolf, though i don’t have a good sense for whether they’re going to acknowledge that potential in the text soon vs take the slow burn/will they won’t they path. given oliver sacks’ real life ‘shyness’ i think i’d prefer the slow burn, but i’m up for either option.)*

i need me a gif of that classic zq eyebrow reaction, captioned with “🏳️‍🌈?”

*coming back to this comment after episode 6 and feeling vindicated. i love how self-aware wolf is. saying “i’m not available” and meaning he’s emotionally not in a place to date? not for a lack of interest in this “objectively good-looking guy,” but because he doesn’t want to put a near-stranger through his intimacy issues for a chance at physical intimacy. slow burn, slow burn, slow burn…!

had not noticed the “glory to god” line (in the pilot, when wolf accepts an intern’s offer of half a clonazepam) until i went gifset hunting, and i am a bit :/ about it. are we really taking a real life jewish man and fictionalizing him as christian? like, sure, you’ve also changed the man’s birth year and nation of origin, but those changes were for storytelling convenience. it’s not like zachary quinto is incapable of playing jewish characters.

and the recent flashback with his dad, off his meds, rambling about going out in the woods to protect wolf-the-messiah… yeah, i don’t know about this one, gang.

the flashbacks felt like they were being told out of chronological order the first few episodes, so the more recent ones being a very straightforward linear progression kinda bummed me out… it felt like much blunter storytelling. they also felt increasingly less related to the medical mystery of the week—which, aren’t they supposed to be flashbacks wolf is having during the episode? there should be a connection between the events and the memories—especially in the latest episode, but i acknowledge that a group pregnancy delusion was going to be hard to tie to a single man.

i like the interns quite a bit! the only one i’m still a little uncertain about is jacob (ex-jock); while i think they’re being intentional about him withholding his personal stuff, i still want to learn that personal stuff!! does he really think being a college football player with a death sentence would’ve been a better life than a long-lived doctor? what’s his context that could make that true??

dana (anxious tumblrina) is probably my favorite intern? she’s fun, she’s Very Online, what’s not to like? her panic attack in episode 6 was very well done—this show does a great job of filming to show the subjective perspective in such moments, and her response to the panic attack was even better. felt very real.

i want ericka (‘i’m the real quarterback’) to have more going on than the “i worked so hard for this/never got to have fun” thing. i’m hoping she’s just a private person, and that something more meaty will come up about her eventually.

van (anxious empath) is fine, but i would like for him to stop drawing focus. he’s the only white intern, giving him the potentially big “another neurologist with a neurological condition for wolf to bond with/care for” storyline makes me concerned for this show’s ability to center its characters of color.

also… i do not want intern love triangle. i am worried that either the writing team is trying to build one, or two different writers favor different intern romances and aren’t talking to each other before setting them up with emotional moments. :/ i’m just not into either option. the way both relationships have been written so far feels very much about the guys’ emotions towards ericka, and nothing from ericka herself.

(granted, we haven’t gotten much emotion from ericka in general, see my above comment about her, but even so… this is not a compelling way to introduce a romance. convince me that there is a mutual interest!)

in the “house md but kinder and more diverse” metaphor, carol’s somehow both the wilson “best friend in a different specialty” analog and the cuddy “antagonistic administrator” analog—though she shares the latter role with wolf’s mom. it’s interesting! i don’t know how successfully the show is handling that balance, it’s a bit of a wait-and-see thing right now.

(actually, wait, i may have overlooked this in the pilot: does this fictional hospital have a combined neuro & psych department? is carol wolf’s boss? i guess that would make more sense than a one-man neuro department—and the two specialties do share a medical board in the us…)

i want more of the wolf-carol friendship! i think the weight of their history is well written, their dialogue isn’t written in that clunky “spelling things out for the viewer” way that states things that are obvious to the characters but that are news to the viewers. it’s refreshing. i worry about the “spying for mom” thing, i don’t have a good sense for how seriously the show’s taking it or how much of a betrayal wolf will find it.

[kevin-sedai]

The comments on this reddit post are giving me hives https://www(dot)reddit(dot)com/r/television/comments/1756ksa/amazons_wheel_of_time_has_a_serious_dragon_reborn/ they're talking as if the books had everything figured out and were perfect from the start and as if they don't understand how tv works or even storytelling in general no the show isn't perfect but it's doing so many things right some of the stuff they're complaining about is insanity saying rafe hates the books is so stupid when he's demonstrated in so many interviews how much he loves them and has tried to follow their spirit and the characters arcs despite some impossible challenges

Yeah, it's really insane how people are just not going to bend that changes have to be made. It's 14 books and 8 episodes a season is going to warrant changes, some more creative than the others. I remember Rafe was actually annoyed because he wanted more episodes and a longer pilot, and he was denied both and told 8 episodes. I'm sure there were scenes that Rafe wanted in the show (RIP flicker flicker scene) but I think he took the route some other book readers are taking, which is that if it has the spirit of the story, then he's happy (and so am I!)

I reread EotW last fall and THG in the spring, and there were some things in both books that didn't hold up as the series went on. I can't remember specifically (I was reading the story and was like, "Wrong," lmao) but I'm pretty sure they related to channeling. Idk if anyone else would be able to find them, but I do remember that there were inconsistencies. RJ was writing a long series, so he was going to make changes, which weren't going to flow with the rest of the series.

Next part I'm going to write as a read more bc it's a spoiler, but it's an example of a change RJ made himself. If you didnt finish the series and don't want spoilers, don't continue, you have been warned.

The Dusty Wheel on Youtube confirmed that RJ's notes have it written that Taim was supposed to be Demandred the whole time. At the moment of Taim's intro, Lews in Rand's head was comparing Taim to Demandred (same nose, same hair, same height, etc.) Literally everytime Taim showed up in LoC, Lews would say, "I don't trust this dude you think is from this Age and Saldea(?), we better go kill Demandred!" I was convinced they were the same person, as did most people, until Taim and Demandred were given different scenes giving the same order to the Darkfriend Asha'man in book 9, which confirmed they were different people because Demandred would never lower himself to repeating an order. It was just done when he gave it.

My point of bringing this up, is that RJ looked like he was setting something up, only to change his mind. It's a "What was the point of the comparing the two if there's no big reveal they were the same in disguise" type of deal to me. It's not as big of an inconsistency, RJ still did a good job making him a separate character despite his original intentions, but it goes to show you that the books themselves have some things that started and were eventually dropped.

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Moments of Stupidity 13

Well, I guess I was misinformed or mistaken on when exactly the newest episode was gonna come out. Although I'm still making the post in early November and yeah, I'm certain the episode will still in this series of posts because, really, every single episode before it - excluding the pilot - have had stupid moments that progress the plot. If anything, the newest episode will be a shocker if it didn't have anything like that itself

Unhappy Campers -

Well... Moxxie's got a shit ton of stupid moments that pretty much carried at least a bulk of the plot so I should list them all before anyone else. So here goes

1) Moxxie made up pointless background stories for both himself and Millie. You two are on an assassination mission, not working as spies to gather information and shit. Even if you did need information, you didn't need to come up with too-complicated backstories for a simple hit

2) Moxxie completely ignores his wife's pointing out of the culprit. While he may have a point in that they shouldn't just assume shit, the culprit was so painfully fucking obvious that the guy should have been the first option they tried. Didn't Sherlock Holmes say in the book he comes from something about 'eliminating the obvious'? That means, by never investigating the most obvious thing about their case, it just makes Moxxie look even more inept at investigating if he covered all options except for the most obvious one

3) Moxxie just went up to a bunch of pre-teen girls, hijacked their conversation with bits of made-up info that just sounds so damn cringe as it goes on, and just expected that to work. It's like, even if he hadn't talked to a lot of teens before, especially while he was growing up, wouldn't he still see them around as he goes around town in any ring? Hear them talk? Could his upbringing really leave him so clueless that he would think that telling a bunch of teens who never met you before about periods would endear you to them? Even just spewing out stuff about yourself like it's trivia, does that really sound all that welcoming?

4) Moxxie decides to get so butthurt that a bunch of pre-teens don't like him that not only does he berate Millie for fitting in so effortlessly but also decides to care more about getting their approval than actually. Sure, throughout the week, he is watching through binoculars, no doubt trying to find the culprit, but he still lashed out at Millie because it still mattered more to him that he didn't get the kids' approval while his wife did. It was super damn obvious in the choice of words and how they were said so it was all so stupid, the kind of priorities Moxxie had. It never even occurred to Moxxie to use Millie's popularity to find answers. Seriously, if Moxxie couldn't get info, then why not Millie? Those kids would have told her anything she wanted to know

5) There was a little moment when Moxxie met up with Blitzo again. Blitzo says that he's trying to find his sister, kicks down the door, and yells out Barbie's name. Barbie yells Blitz's name back. Moxxie still asks is Blitzo knows her. And since there's fucking circus pictures of Blitzo and Barbie hung up in the office, then how the hell does Moxxie not have any inkling of Barbie's existence prior? Even without the pictures, and even though Barbie was disguised, the whole scene of Blitzo and Barbie meeting up with each other combined with Blitzo saying that he's looking for his sister makes it pretty damn obvious

Now a stupid moment that both Moxxie and Millie share together is that they don't try all that hard to keep up the charade that at least Moxxie thought was so important to maintain. It's even stupider for Moxxie because he's the one who made up the cover story that they're brother and sister. Yet Moxxie's complimenting Millie like he's attracted to her while they're on stage and still disguised as brother and sister. Then they fucking fuck on stage in front of cameras, because they decide that they're so horny that they simply shouldn't care where the fuck they are or who's watching to literally fuck around. Honestly, Blitzo might not even needed to try all that hard to watch Millie and Moxxie have sex since it's like that. No wonder Moxxie never found out until the episode Ozzie's that Blitzo has watched him and Millie do it a shit ton of times

Let's not leave Blitzo out of the equation, too. For the most part, he was a selfish jackass for creepily investigating the whereabouts of his sister who didn't want anything to do with him. The thing is, he apparently wanted to meet up with said sister so damn badly that he completely neglected a mission that came up. Blitzo had the fucking gall to chew Moxxie out for being so incompetent at this mission when it was thanks to Moxxie being incompetent that Blitzo even got to see his sister in the first place. Seriously, Blitzo might have just ran into a dead end or even gotten a hurt or dead sister because Moxxie had a braincell and didn't stop Millie from investigating the boathouse. Really, he's upset at Moxxie's ineptitude this episode but that's exactly what ended up doing him a solid this time. Besides, Blitzo also gave the mission to Moxxie to handle because he decided his company and the job a client came with didn't matter nearly as much as finding his sister so what place did Blitzo have to get on Moxxie's case for taking an entire damn week?

Even without all that, there's still the fact that Blitzo still acted like there was any remote chance in the end that Barbie was actually going to take him back. The asshole makes Barbie out to be the bitch for never contacting him, especially when she got of rehab - which is massively hypocritical given the fact that, in order to be shocked that Barbie checked out months ago, Blitzo had to go for that long without ever contacting his sister himself - accused Barbie of making Blitzo go through investigating and searching for her despite the fact it was entirely voluntary on his part, and never called off the hit that would leave Barbie without a job yet Blitzo still offered a chance to catch up like everything's going to be hunky-dory

Oh, and let's not forget a fucking huge-ass plot hole that makes Blitzo and also the rest of I.M.P. huge-ass idiots concerning the entire fucking premise of the series. At least, what was supposed to be the premise. I'm talking about the Asmodean Crystals. Apparently, those crystals are even better than the Grimoire in every possible way. Far more portable than the Grimoire, could easily avoid situations where you need to escape like in Truth Seekers because there'd be no spell to read or look at, and the crystals provide disguises that the Grimoire apparently doesn't - or maybe I.M.P. were too stupid to even think of trying and using spells from the book that would provide disguises. Yet no one in I.M.P. has a fucking crystal. No one even brings it up after Loona asked about disguises in Spring Broken. How the hell does anyone go for this long, almost halfway in season 2, without even thinking about getting a crystal? Millie might be one thing because she's someone living kind of isolated, at least not as crowded-looking as Pride or Greed seem to be, and she's never characterized as someone who goes out of her way to fixate on details. As long as things are fine, there's no need to think all that deeply. But what about Loona or Moxxie or Blitzo? Loona was the one who first brought up disguises so why the fuck wouldn't she also bring up the crystals at any point? She called the imps out for being so stupid to not have disguises, even if it was in worry for her own well-being, so why didn't Loona check with anyone about getting some damn crystals? Moxxie is the one most fixated on details and should have known about the different ways to go up to the surface. If not, he would have researched it; he seems like the type to do that. Blitzo is the one who's trying to start up his damn business. Even if he's a lazy ass who pushes his work onto others so that he doesn't have to do any heavy lifting for his company, you'd think that Blitzo would at least find some way to go up to the surface in the first place. He went to steal the Grimoire because he knew that was a way to do it. Did Blitzo really not look into more options than stealing a powerful book that a Geotia would definitely notice if it was missing? How the fuck did Blitzo think that mugging some cubi demons for their crystals would be too much work and/or be too dangerous than stealing the fucking Grimoire?

[eyebulb]

Hello, I am a pansexual enby and I'm here to explain to y'all that Truth Seekers (s1e6) made me attracted to the entire main cast of Helluva Boss. (Seriously this cast is sexy) First of all, I love all of them.. It's lovely to love the entire IMP group + Stolas since they're the focus of the show and I can't get bored of either of them taking the lead in the narrative. But Truth Seekers, being the highest ranked episode so far, really showed the best of everything. Amazing music, amazing humour, amazing action and animation.. aaand amazing character highlights. So! First up.. Moxxie. I love my little thespian nerd who's good with guns. I love his kind nature and insecurities. But it's SO SEXY to see him being a lil' shit. The interrogation scene was his moment for sure.. I will quote "I'm a Virgo" forever. Him and Blitz working together in the action later is also a fiine moment. Blitz... I'm ashamed to say that the Blitz moment that got me is incredibly cliché and normally not at all my kink.. But.. I can't fucking refuse him when he looks like that, double-wielding guns and rasping out "Who wants some quality time with Daddy?". Fuck I felt like Stolas there for a second. Millie. Look, Millie is ALWAYS sexy. Her being so sweet one moment and fucking feral the next is always a treat. But in this episode especially... my "ooh that's hawt" moment for her was her turning her giant axe into a human blender <3 Loona, kinda similar to Millie. This was the first time we properly saw her in a fight. And she introduced the scene by grabbing that chain thing with her teeth. Something about her going full wolf and mauling her enemies was incredibly hot, and I'm not even a furry. Also "die, motherfuckers!" Yes, for you.. anything. Lastly.. Stolas... Man... this perverted, nerdy lil dad. Who knew you had it in ya.. I liked Stolas from episode 1 (so glad they went in a different direction with him cus Pilot Stolas is not at all my kink) but more in a "sweet baby I wanna cuddle and protect you" kinda way.. and this episode made me feel like "nvm, I want you to cuddle and protect ME, pls.. some domination would be sweet" First of all.. fucking BADASS entrance. I kinda wish Stolas was a little less of a pacifist though cus seeing that giant bird maul some people would be....god. But everything from his dramatic possession thing, reanimating bodies to draw his sigil and summon himself into their world despite the fact that he could just portal, and then turning into that huge black and red monster while laughing was just.. soooo sexy. BUT THEN!! When he turns back into himself and he asks Blitz if he's okay.. and HE FUCKING CARESSES HIS FORHEAD I DIED! I've never felt like a more submissive bitch in my life. So yeah.. I was starting to feel like maybe I'm a lil closer to the ace side of things that I thought, but not in this show.. never in this show.. apparently.

[galactic-pirates]

You know what I am still stuck on how the time travel in the Timeless movie just does not make sense.

My understanding of it pre-movie was that if either Time Machine went back it created some kind of temporal tunnel. However much time they spent in the past, passed in the present. This ‘being out of time’ is what enabled them to keep their memories. I had thought though that memories was all it was. Because if they kept their original body then what happened to the body of the new timeline? Wouldn’t there be two of them?

Everytime they go back it’s to the past of the present timeline - not the past of their original timeline. So, I don’t know, pick a change - that female Sherlock Holmes. Because they changed things she became a leader of women’s suffrage. If they went back and saw her again a year or two later, it would be on this new path, not her original one.

So going back to give Flynn the journal and have it kickstart the whole thing makes zero sense. The journal that they gave him would contradict anything he knew about history - to him in their past it would already have been changed. Also it looked like the journal future Lucy handed over which makes it a lie. It talks of a future that they never lived (the relationship). Which makes it kind of a paradox in itself because how can they have this relic from a future that never was?

I always figured that the reason they returned to the bunker was that nothing they changed in the past, fundamentally altered the course of their lives. So they still got recruited for the mission. Surely though with such big changes like Jessica having been alive again, then that might not have been the case? Could they have ever returned from a trip and had Agent Christopher be “who the hell are you?” to one of them because they never got recruited? How would that even work as Agent Christopher would have remembered whomever they had recruited going on the trip, what would have happened to the ‘new guy’?

I’ve always been a little iffy on how the world changes / Agent Christopher remembers the new history, but somehow still knows where they have gone in time. I do struggle with how they still go when it wasn’t really them, it was the them in the world that they created as well.

They might have explained this in the opening episode? Some kind of temporal entanglement maybe? I’m just picturing the new version of them from the changed timeline, almost being piloted like zombies. They are jumping but don’t know why. They strap in and then when the machine jumps, all machines sort of combine/overlay/become one. Of course this doesn’t explain how a person can be scrubbed from existence. Like they wiped Amy out yeah? Well what if it had been Lucy? On returning to the present would she just fade like dust? Or would she - like the journal - somehow still exist as a relic out of time? Protected because she exists in the past, so she has to exist in the present.

That still does not explain how they never went to Chinatown. I do not understand how Rufus never went and is still alive, and yet somehow Carol and Nicholas are still dead. Or how if it never happened Jia bears marks of it on her body. As I said if they aren’t in the bodies of the new changed world, then why aren’t there two of them?

I told you I’m going to fry my brain. I woke up at 5am and started writing this post. It’s been bugging me all night. I could continue. There is so much that just does not make sense. It’s aggravating /sigh. But I will leave it there for now.

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppet Madness: The Muppet Valentine's Show and Muppets: Sex and Violence (Comission for Emma Fici)

Happy almost valentine's day all you happy muppets! Yes we've got a whole lotta love going into this week's reviews and it was weird not to include my faviorite troupe.. and once I found out the first pilot was valentine's theme, I asked to cover it this month and asked emma if she'd be intrested in using her patreon review to cover the other seemingly fitting pilot, Mupppets Sex and Violence So here we are: Jim had WANTED to do a muppet show since before even Seasame Street, but had hit roadblocks trying to get it out due to executives having the same low view of puppets as they presently do of animation, assumign i'ts only for kids and has no merits. And while my thoughts on that line of thinking are pretty clear

It didn't make it easier for Jim. It's why it took two pilots to even get to series and why I likely coudln't find a ton of background on either pilot. The most I got is the first was so succesful that they ordered a second special, and that lead to Lew Grade's series order and one of the greatest tv shows of all time.

I"m always curious about the early origins of something and just coming off covering the Wilkins Ads last week I went into this one with high expectations.. were they reached? Find out under the cut

The Muppet Valentine's Show:

I was shocked to find with these pilots that Jim Henson of all people had growing pains, especially at this stage in his career. It's reassuring, as it reminds me EVERY creator takes a while to get going, I know i did, but it's still weird to see something that's ALMOST the muppet show but feels just enough off to feel weird watching. The format is the show nailed down: a wraparound bit with a bunch of sketches and the majority of the sketches are fantastic: We get a great Kermit number with him singign froggy went a courtin to "miss mousY" and fighting her other suitor, a spectacular giant rat puppet, before both end up going to get beers since Miss Mousy runs off with some other dude. IT's a fun bit and one that would fit perfectly into the muppet show proper… and likely only didn't because while Miss Mousy showed up ocne she had to quitely retire aka run the fuck away from miss piggy if she valued her life.

We also get one starring my man thoggg! This.. this is Thogg

I forget his name often but always light up when I see him and it was wonderful seeing him get a bit focused on him, something i'm not sure Muppet Show proper ever did and Mia Farrow is wonderful as his partner. It's a shockingly romantic bit and nicely swee tfor the holiday.

Finally out of the bits I really liked we had a visit on Koozebane as kermit reports on two aliens doing the Galley-o-hoop-hoop, which involves coldiing into each other and exploding

Which is easily the highlight. I'ts not bad and worth a watch.. but what makes it often a slog is the wraparound which is a mess with the cast consiting of Wallay, George, Mildren and Brewster

Yeah none of these characters lasted.. George was the janitor for season 1 befor ebeing replaced, and Mildred and Brewster would have cameos but while Mildred has some personality, she sadly didn't stick around and the rest THANKFULLY didn't. Paticularlly wally who comes off very

Comared to the actually 70's and awesome electric mayhem. I think Jim quickly realized too cool for school just didn't remotely fit him , and those kinds of characters were better as punchilnes. it also has a script is being written as the episode happens gimmick which isn't terrrible but ultimately just dosen't fit the muppets zany stylings. The Muppets Valentine's show is.. fine and worth a watch if you like Muppets History, but not hugely recomendable as a whole. I would WHOLE HEARTDLY recommend the segements I mentioned though> All are worth a look.. their just not worth sitting through a bunch of characters who just didn't work at all to get there.

The Muppet Show Sex and Violence:

Are you ready for some SEX AND VIOLENCEEEEEEEE? Well too bad because the title's more a joke, as you likely expected. It's also still not qutie there yet and a bit of a harder watch than the valentine's day show. The core is better and the sketeches are good.. but it has one thing holding it back from feeling "like the muppet show but just a tad off": for some reason the sketches are all cut up and thus some like at the dance, a great wrestling bit and mor ehave their timing boggled by taking place throughout the show. It can be disoreninting to watch at times and Jim smartley went back to doing them one at a time and the better sketches don't do this at all.

That said while the presentation is boggled, there are a LOT of great ones: presidents trading banter as mount rushmore, at the dance, a hilariously tangly wrestling match, and the debtu sof the swedish chef, electric mayhem and statler and woldorf who are great as always.My tie for faviorites are return to beneath the planet of the pigs, which would later evolve into PIIIIGGGSSS INNNNNNN SPACCCCCEEEEEE, but here is a hilarious planet of the apes sendup, and theater of thigns where the pencils get a new ruler. It's a corny pun but I absoltuely love it. The sketches are all fantastic aside form birds and the bees which is just a bit of birds singing.. ti's just about half get cut up in a way that just wrecks the pacing. The muppet show sketches work so best because even the songs have a nice, fast pace for them, and thus unless a it is designed to be recurring, it dosen't work that way. Jim learned his lesson but it sadly mucks up some really great comedy.

The wraparound is better as it is cut up on purpose and is basically just host nigel, floyd and my boy sam the eagle meeting the seven deadly sins, all various great muppets. Ti's for a pagent that gets cut off by the credits, but ti's a bit that works for me.

What dosen't.. is Nigel himself who I frequently forget exists because he has no real personality. I mean.. Wally was hilariously tonedeaf, but he at least had a personality and cool dude shades> nigel is just there and thankfully this finally got jim to realize Kermit was the missing piece.

So Sex and Violence is both more and less like the muppet show.. but it was close enough. The pilots aren't great and I once again recommend the skits more than the whole.. but I will say they help illustrate why the muppet show is so special: it's all teh various parts coming together and when you see it with the core quartet mostly missing, no real center character wise.. you see WHY their so special. With just a few pieces their fine but it's as a whole they truly shine. Without Kermit's steady hand, Piggy's overdramatics, Fozzy's bad jokes or Gonzo's delightful weirdness, the show just isn't the same. You can have the muppets without these guys, as we'll hopefully see with Mayhem, they can do thier own things and sketches, but without them at the center of the madness it just dosen't feel the same. All the supporting cast was there but the heart of the muppets hadn't developed yet. And once it did we'd get something truly amazing. For now we just get some specials I honestly struggled to talk about for the last few days as ther'es not a ton to say other than "these just arne't great yet". But I appricate them for reminding me why me and emma do this and why the muppets matter. Their not just a bunch of sketches: their this weird family doing these sketches and you need that vibe for it to work. So how do I rank em? well let's see

Yeah it's.. sadly low. Valentine's mildly edges out Haunted Mansion, as it's three skits are enough to make it slightly better in my eyes, but sex and violence is so far the lowest ranked thing that's not a crime against nature as the choppy formatting just makes it hard to watch.

Next Month: FOLLOW THAT BIRD. FOR REAL THIS TIME. COME HELL OR HIGH FUCKING WATER PERSONAL ISSUES BE DAMMNED. We're actually doing this so I can finally get this giant childlike bird off my back. SEASAME STREET. NEXT MONTH.

[mrsbsmooth]

Scripts - S6 - Episode 11 (Part 1 of 2)

Rodeo challenge (excl. Bella's turn)

NARRATOR: I love girls’ choice recouplings! Or I did until I experienced one myself recently.

NARRATOR: Or an uncoupling might be more accurate... Ok, I admit it, I was dumped!

NARRATOR: But which boy is about to suffer a similar fate and which boy does {0} have her eyes on?

NARRATOR: Let’s find out!

Everyone digests the recoupling news, Roberto and {0} stare at you in shock.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Looks like the power’s in the girls’ hands now, boys!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Yeah, you boys better get your grafting boots on.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: Grafting boots aren’t my style.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: You’ve been wearing them since you got here.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: Charm and graft are two different animals. As are me and you.

{0}_SERIOUS: You got that right, pal.

{0}_SERIOUS: I guess we’ll get an answer to our question tonight, {1}.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I guess you will.

GRACE_HAPPY: You boys getting a bit jittery?

OZZY_FLIRTY: Nah, not sweating it too much.

Ozzy shoots you a subtle flirty smile. Grace seems to notice it.

OZZY_FLIRTY: I’m quietly confident it’ll work out at the recoupling.

LEWIE_HAPPY: It’s not very quiet when you announce it like that, mate.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: I meant Roberto and {0}. Are you boys pranging?

LEWIE_EMBARRASSED: I’m genuinely nervous. Feel like I’m in the tunnel before a cup final.

JAMAL_HAPPY: How did the last cup final go? Out of interest.

LEWIE_HAPPY: Eh, not great. We lost 4-0 and I got sent off.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: Well at least you’re used to going home early.

RYAN_EMBARRASSED: I’m more nervous than before a performance.

LEWIE_FLIRTY: You should never be nervous about your <i>performance</i>.

JAMAL_FLIRTY: Never overthink things in the bedroom. Passion and instinct, bro.

RYAN_HAPPY: I think we’re talking about different performances.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I never think of anything in the bedroom as a performance. It feels too… distant.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I like it to be more intimate than a ‘performance’.

JAMAL_HAPPY: I’ve got a few cheeky butterflies. Like before I compete in an event.

JAMAL_FLIRTY: Guess that means I’m catching some feels.

LEWIE_HAPPY: What happened in the last event you competed in?

JAMAL_HAPPY: Oh it went great actually.

JAMAL_HAPPY: Stacked it off a big rail set and ended up coming second to last.

ROBERTO_SERIOUS: At least you’re used to going home early.

{0}_IDLE: It’s cool, nerves make me perform better.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: In pilot school, we call that a C.A.C.A statement.

GRACE_SURPRISED: And what does that mean?

ROBERTO_HAPPY: Choose Another Career, Already.

Roberto keeps a straight face until he bursts out laughing.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: Things always work out for the best.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: Whether it’s in here or not, I’m sure we’ll all find love.

Roberto holds your gaze, giving you a confident smile.

BELLA_SURPRISED: You must get a bit nervy before you fly? I’d be a hot mess.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: You’re always a hot mess, Bella.

BELLA_HAPPY: You know me so well.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: When I’ve got the controls in my hands I’m cool as ice.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Well, your future’s in the girls’ hands now.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: True, true. But I’m feeling hopeful, put it that way.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m crossing both my fingers!

BELLA_SURPRISED: Both your fingers?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: My fingers on both hands. Ah, you know what I’m saying.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: You boys really are bricking it.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: {0}, are you picking up on their nervous energy?

I’m picking up your sexy energy, Roberto

PLAYER_FLIRTY: The only thing I’m picking up right now is your sexy energy, Roberto.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I can see why you’re feeling confident.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: Great to hear. Any man you choose would be lucky.

{0} being nervous is kind of cute

PLAYER_FLIRTY: {0} being a little bit nervous is cute. He understands what a find I am.

{0}_HAPPY: Exactly. The stakes are high. So much to lose.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Is that so?

{0}_FLIRTY: Yeah, you’re amazing, {1}.

You’ll find out who I’m picking up later

PLAYER_IDLE: I’m not gonna tell you what I think, boys.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Wait until the recoupling to see where my head’s at.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I love a girl who keeps me on my toes.

{0}_FLIRTY: Amelia, I’m more interested in what you’re saying.

{0}_FLIRTY: Anyone you’ve got your eye on for the recoupling?

AMELIA_FLIRTY: That’s for me to know.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Let’s just say I’m open to being grafted, boys.

{0}_FLIRTY: Good to know.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: I was talking to all the boys, {0}.

{0}_FLIRTY: Burn!

Bella’s phone pings.

BELLA_SURPRISED: I got a text!

LITEXT: Islanders, get ready to take part in ‘The Good, The Bad, and The Sexy’! It’s time to show off your moves. {0}RidingFlirty {1}BuckingBonko

JAMAL_HAPPY: Bucking Bonko? That’s sick!

OZZY_HAPPY: My moves are sick. Been waiting for an excuse to bust them out.

LEWIE_HAPPY: Mate, you bust them out every morning.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: You know what a physical challenge means, boys?

JAMAL_FLIRTY: Time to get a pump on real quick!

Roberto and Jamal sprint to the gym laughing, closely followed by the other boys.

BELLA_HAPPY: They’re hilarious.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Looks like they’re ready to get their graft on.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Ohhh I don’t know who to pick for the challenge. So many snacks.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Well, {0} clearly wants you to focus on him.

BELLA_FLIRTY: He’s been dropping game all morning.

AMELIA_EMBARRASSED: Unfortunately, his game is a bit cringe.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Icky?

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Ehh maybe a bit. He said he was all about Ivy and forgot her pronto.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: What about you, Bella? Who will you pick?

BELLA_IDLE: I think {0} would be a little miffed if I didn’t pick him.

BELLA_EMBARRASSED: But if I told you all there’s a spark there, I’d be lying.

GRACE_SERIOUS: Yikes. Sparks can come when you least expect them though.

GRACE_IDLE: Me and my ex were just mates until I saw him using chopsticks in a restaurant.

GRACE_HAPPY: Just clicked all of a sudden. I was like, ‘ahh I fancy you now’.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Maybe seeing {0} on a bucking bronco will give you the chopsticks feeling.

BELLA_HAPPY: Maybe. Thanks, gang, always enlightening.

{0} peels off from the boys and approaches.

{0}_FLIRTY: Grace, can I pull you for a quick chat?

GRACE_SURPRISED: Course you can.

Grace leads {0} over to the beanbags.

AMELIA_SURPRISED: I wonder if he’s grafting or just wants a chat?

BELLA_FLIRTY: We’ll ask Grace later. Something tells me this challenge is about to stir the pot.

You rush off with the girls to get ready. A nervous energy in the air about the upcoming challenge and looming recoupling.

PLAYER_HAPPY: This challenge is gonna be so much fun!

BELLA_HAPPY: I’ve always wanted to be a cowgirl.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: I might be taking the boys for a ride.

The girls laugh as Grace rushes into the dressing room.

GRACE_SURPRISED: Guess who just got his graft on?

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Guessing it might’ve been {0}.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: He said he wanted to get to know me better.

AMELIA_SURPRISED: Did Ozzy see?

GRACE_HAPPY: He couldn’t miss it. We were right by the gym.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: {0}’s making moves.

AMELIA_EMBARRASSED: Confirms he wasn’t that into Ivy after all.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Did you flirt back with him, Grace?

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: I kinda did a bit.

BELLA_SURPRISED: With Ozzy right there?

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: I guess I wanted him to hear and get a bit jel. Is that wrong?

You shouldn’t play games with him

PLAYER_ANGRY: You shouldn’t be using a boy to play games with Ozzy.

AMELIA_SURPRISED: She’s having fun, don’t ruin her buzz, {0}.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: I just don’t think you’d be too pleased if it was the other way round.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: You’re right. Guess I’m just feeling a bit confused with Ozzy is all.

It’s never wrong to flirt

PLAYER_FLIRTY: We all came here to flirt. Don’t feel bad because you and Ozzy are coupled up.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: I never feel bad for flirting. It’s got me in trouble a few times...

AMELIA_HAPPY: Quite a few times.

AMELIA_HAPPY: But it’s too much fun.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Agreed. Maybe Ozzy was taking notes. It might be a good thing for you both.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: Thanks, girls. I guess I’m just feeling a bit confused about Ozzy right now.

You don’t sound too secure with Ozzy

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: It sounds like you and Ozzy aren’t on solid ground.

AMELIA_SURPRISED: Alright, {0}!

PLAYER_IDLE: If she felt super secure with Ozzy would she be doing that?

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: You’re right, I guess I don’t feel that solid with him right now.

GRACE_SAD: I might just be overthinking things, but feels like I’ve got a few doubts.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: Or more like I think he’s got some doubts. Like he’s not 100 about me.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Why do you think that?

GRACE_SAD: Kinda feels like he might still be open to other options.

AMELIA_SURPRISED: What other options?

Grace glances in your direction and awkwardly avoids eye contact.

BELLA_SERIOUS: If he does, that’s on him. He should be gassed he’s with you.

GRACE_SAD: I just see his eyes wandering a bit sometimes. Like he’s not set.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Sounds like you need to find out where you stand.

Grace thinks for a few seconds.

GRACE_FLIRTY: I’m gonna give him a test in this challenge.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: How do you mean?

GRACE_FLIRTY: You’ll see soon. And his reaction will tell me a lot!

BELLA_FLIRTY: Well, that’s ambiguous. Whatever you got planned sounds like a great idea.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: I got a feeling this challenge is gonna go off.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: The boys will be falling over themselves to impress us.

BELLA_HAPPY: {0}, you already have the PERF outfit. Love that sexy cowgirl number.

GRACE_HAPPY: Urgh, I'm so jealous. That outfit is gonna stun everyone!

BELLA_HAPPY: Happy with your look?

I’ll do some touch ups

I’m good to go!

PLAYER_HAPPY: If I’m gonna be bucking broncos, I have to be wearing this.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Couldn’t agree more, honey.

GRACE_HAPPY: Love it!

BELLA_HAPPY: We’ve all got these cute hats, but let’s see if there’s something else...

BELLA_HAPPY: I found the perfect thing. It’s a cute cowgirl outfit! But there’s only one.

AMELIA_HAPPY: {0}, you would defo pull that off.

GRACE_HAPPY: Yeh, I need to see you in that! It’ll look stunning.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Ok, I’ll see what it looks like.

PLAYER_HAPPY: What do we think?

BELLA_HAPPY: I think I can’t think because that looks so hot!

AMELIA_HAPPY: Giddy up, sister! You look sooooo cute in that!

AMELIA_HAPPY: Are you gonna wear it, {0}?

*TRYOUTFIT* Yeehawww, I’m wearing this!

I’m going to see what else I’ve got

AMELIA_HAPPY: Shame, that cowgirl outfit looked unreal on you.

GRACE_IDLE: So many boys are competing for you right now.

GRACE_FLIRTY: With the recoupling coming up, maybe you want to go all out?

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Yeah, and see who goes all out for you?

BELLA_IDLE: She’s got a point, {0}. What do you want to do?

I want to try on that cowgirl outfit again!

BELLA_HAPPY: Ringa-ding ding.

GRACE_HAPPY: I’m always right with my first impression of an outfit.

GRACE_FLIRTY: And my first impression of that outfit was: YES.

AMELIA_IDLE: She’s right, {0}. All eyes will be on you in that outfit.

AMELIA_HAPPY: It also shows your fun side.

AMELIA_IDLE: Are you going to wear the spicy cowgirl outfit then?

*TRYOUTFIT* I have to wear it!

I’ll wear something else

I’ll check out the wardrobe once more

I’ll stick with what I’m wearing now

PLAYER_SERIOUS: I think I’ll just wear what I have on.

PLAYER_HAPPY: If I’m gonna be bucking broncos, I have to be wearing this.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Couldn’t agree more, honey.

GRACE_HAPPY: Love it! What are we waiting for? Let’s go!

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m feeling great in this!

GRACE_HAPPY: Love it!

PLAYER_IDLE: I’m feeling fine in this.

BELLA_HAPPY: This will be my first ever rodeo! I’m so excited.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Let’s go!

You sprint onto the challenge stage where a rodeo bull stands in the middle of a Western themed obstacle course.

RYAN_HAPPY: I’ve always loved westerns.

BELLA_HAPPY: I’ve always wanted a ride on one of them mechanical bull thingies.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: You look incredible in that outfit, {0}.

{0}_FLIRTY: You look more than incredible. I know who I’m trying to impress.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Thanks, boys.

Your phone pings. You read it out.

LITEXT: Islanders, you will take it in turns to ride the rodeo bull for as long as possible.

LITEXT: Then complete the obstacle course as sexily as you can before giving a sexy dance to an Islander of your choice. {0}BuckleUp {1}WildRide

PLAYER_HAPPY: Woop woop, let’s do this! Who’s up first?

ROBERTO_HAPPY: I think I can tame this beautiful, wild animal.

BELLA_HAPPY: But what about the bull?

ROBERTO_HAPPY: I’ll try to tame that too.

Roberto sprints to the bull and flings himself onto it with power and grace.

He grips its handle with one hand, and tips his hat to you with the other.

The bull starts to crank up, spinning around, rising and falling erratically. Roberto holds on with ease.

His bronzed abs glisten in the sunlight and his ripped arms flex as he tames the bull.

He makes eye contact with you as he makes it look effortless.

{0}_HAPPY: Focus on the bull, not showing off to the girls.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I can multitask. Watch. No hands!

He grips the bull between his bulging thighs and flexes both biceps above his head.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I call this the Portuguese squeeeeze!

The girls get a view of his defined back and bum as his legs vice around the spinning bull.

BELLA_FLIRTY: He might be boring hot, but he is hot!

AMELIA_FLIRTY: He is too much! That bod is something else.

The bull really cranks up but Roberto dominates it expertly.

GRACE_FLIRTY: You drooling too, {0}?

All the flutters

PLAYER_FLIRTY: That boy is a total snack. He’s giving me serious flutters!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Think the other boys are gonna struggle to top this.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: Hope you heard that, boys! Glad I’m catching your eye, {0}.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: Excited for your turn too.

BELLA_SURPRISED: How can he flirt and ride a bull like that?

ROBERTO_HAPPY: This ain’t my first rodeo!

Getting the ick quick

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: I’m getting the ick, girls. He’s being a bit extra, isn’t he?

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Extra hot!

BELLA_HAPPY: I take it you’re waiting for someone else’s turn then?

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: And who would that be?

I’ll be drooling over someone else

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m more excited to see one of the other boys.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I told you this challenge was going to be lit!

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: Which boy?

ROBERTO_HAPPY: Yeehaaaaaaa!

Roberto clings onto the bull as its movement ramps up into its big finale. He somersaults onto a crash mat. Everyone cheers.

Roberto sprints around the obstacle course, leaping over and sliding under obstacles with power, speed and finesse.

OZZY_SURPRISED: The man’s a machine!

He leaps over the finish line and slides to a stop in front of you. He locks eyes with you.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I’ll give a dance to {0}.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: She’s sexy, fun, and always makes me smile.

GRACE_HAPPY: Awwww.

ROBERTO_EMBARRASSED: I know I might’ve been extra then, but maybe my dancing will redeem me.

ROBERTO_EMBARRASSED: They say it’s all about the hips, right?

Roberto locks eyes with you, and looks almost bashful.

He starts to sway his hips, moving his body from side to side. He’s stiff and wooden.

{0}_HAPPY: You’re supposed to move your hips, pal.

OZZY_HAPPY: I’ll give you a few pointers later.

Roberto looks unphased by everyone’s reactions as he starts thrusting his hips and waving his arms around ridiculously.

Cheer him on

PLAYER_HAPPY: Woo! Come on, Roberto, you got this!

Roberto breaks into a huge grin as he clumsily gyrates and tries some body rolls.

Playfully banter him

PLAYER_HAPPY: You’re a bit stiff, Roberto. Might need more than a few pointers.

PLAYER_HAPPY: You definitely peaked on the rodeo.

ROBERTO_EMBARRASSED: I’m built for power and speed. Not rhythm… Except in the bedroom.

Roberto pirouettes, nearly loses his balance, but tries to style it out with some clumsy twerking.

He laughs, charming, boyish.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Aww, Roberto. You’re too cute.

ROBERTO_EMBARRASSED: I’m sorry, {0}, dancing is my Achilles heel.

OZZY_HAPPY: Only he could dance like that and compare himself to a Greek god.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: I hope my clumsy moves haven’t given you the ick, {0}?

Snog Roberto

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I still think you’re cute, Roberto. Rhythm or no rhythm.

You bring Roberto into you, getting on your tiptoes as you plant your lips on his.

As your lips touch, you feel Roberto’s powerful arms around your waist, pulling you in even closer.

You begin to kiss each other, both overcome by a sudden passion.

Finally, you both pull away. Roberto gives you a wink.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: How does he do it?

Dance with him

PLAYER_HAPPY: Bring it in, Roberto, I’ll show you some moves.

You take Roberto’s hands in yours and slow dance with him. Leading him and showing him a few basic steps.

He’s clumsy but improves a little. He smiles and looks deep into your eyes.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: Not how I pictured our first dance, but I’ll take it.

Move things on

PLAYER_IDLE: Let’s keep this challenge moving.

ROBERTO_SAD: Try to remember the rodeo, not the dancing.

ROBERTO_EMBARRASSED: You’re still thinking about the dancing, aren’t you?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Who’s up next?

{0}_HAPPY: I’ll follow that.

{0} bounds to the rodeo bull and hops onto it.

OZZY_HAPPY: Come on, {0}. You got this.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: We’ll see about that.

{0} jokily leans in and whispers to the rodeo bull.

LEWIE_HAPPY: Don’t make me look bad, yeah? Anyone got a sugar cube?

PLAYER_HAPPY: It’s a bull not a horse.

RYAN_HAPPY: Be gentle, kind animal.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: It sure ain’t gentle.

JAMAL_HAPPY: Let’s see what you got, you beast.

{0} clings onto the bull with one hand as it starts rotating and jerking up and down.

He is less effortless than Roberto and you see every muscle tensing as he grapples with it.

The bull rears up, nearly throwing him off, but he clings on.

{0}_FLIRTY: Nearly got me.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: It’s only just getting started.

{0}_FLIRTY: I got this. How am I doing, {1}?

Before you can answer the bull speeds up and flings him off onto the crash mats.

Everyone laughs.

ROBERTO_FLIRTY: We can’t all have stamina.

{0}_FLIRTY: It’s the rhythm that counts, right, {1}?

It’s all about the rhythm

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m with you, {0}, you need that rhythm!

OZZY_HAPPY: Yeah you do.

{0}_HAPPY: Well, get ready to see rhythm in action.

Stamina’s what it’s about

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m more interested in stamina to be honest.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: Woman after my own heart.

{0}_SERIOUS: Let’s see if I can change your mind with my moves.

Get on with the challenge

PLAYER_HAPPY: Less talk, more action!

{0}_FLIRTY: Your wish is my command.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You’re still talking!

{0} sprints into the obstacle course. He tries to leap over the first obstacle but clips his foot and tumbles onto the floor.

LEWIE_SURPRISED: Ref! Penalty.

LEWIE_EMBARRASSED: Sorry, force of habit.

{0}_HAPPY: Should be booked for that dive.

JAMAL_HAPPY: I’d have cleared that on my board.

LEWIE_HAPPY: Thought you’d be used to falling flat on your face.

JAMAL_HAPPY: Sounds like you on the pitch, bro.

RYAN_EMBARRASSED: Man, I always trip over the high notes.

LEWIE_HAPPY: Come on, Ryan. Back on your feet, fella.

RYAN_FLIRTY: I’m about brains over brawn anyway.

{0} clamours to his feet and rolls under a low bar before vaulting over a horse obstacle.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m getting warmed up now.

{0} gives you his flirtiest look as he gracefully spins round an obstacle showing off his ripped body.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Are you liking what you see, {0}?

{0} is turning it up

PLAYER_FLIRTY: {0} is really turning on the heat now!

{0}_FLIRTY: Back at ya, {1}. Pumped for your turn.

Luke warm at best

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: I was hoping for better. Room temperature moves at best.

AMELIA_EMBARRASSED: Maybe he’ll step it up in the dance?

PLAYER_IDLE: Here’s hoping.

I’m still thinking about Roberto

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m still thinking about how hot Roberto looked on that bull.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: He gave it a good riding for sure.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Maybe you’ll get to climb on him later.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: One serving of the Portuguese squeeze, please.

{0} speeds up as he clears the final few obstacles before taking your hand in his.

{0}_FLIRTY: {1}, I want to pick you for a dance for loads of reasons.

LEWIE_FLIRTY: I like you more each time we chat. You‘re proper girlfriend material.

LEWIE_HAPPY: And my nana would love you to bits.

RYAN_FLIRTY: It feels like we connect deeper with each chat we have.

RYAN_HAPPY: And I want to take that connection further right now.

JAMAL_FLIRTY: The spark I feel when you look into my eyes is unreal.

JAMAL_HAPPY: Our chats always take me by surprise and I think we could be wild together.

JAMAL_HAPPY: You kinda make me nervous sometimes. In all the best ways.

BELLA_HAPPY: Awwww, {0}, you’re actually the cutest.

AMELIA_HAPPY: You MUST be feeling it more after that cute bomb?

AMELIA_HAPPY: You MUST be feeling it more after that cute bomb?

Before you can reply, he tosses his hat in your direction and launches into some big moves. Amelia gasps.

BELLA_HAPPY: That’s how you do it, Roberto.

ROBERTO_EMBARRASSED: I’m making a mental note.

OZZY_HAPPY: Someone’s been learning my secret moves.

{0} dances back and forth in front of the girls, his hips shimmying with confidence and rhythm!

He playfully teases them before spinning to focus entirely on you.

He locks eyes with you as he dances tantalisingly close to you, giving you a close up view of his toned, glistening body.

He swivels around, inviting you to explore his torso with your hands as he gyrates.

Explore his torso

You allow your hands to explore his chest and he continues to shake his body expertly.

He turns to you, a huge grin on his face, as you run your hands down his tense pecs and across his defined abs.

He spins round and you come face to face, staring into each other’s eyes.

Snog him!

You hold his passionate gaze before leaning in to bring your lips urgently together.

Your bodies press tight into each other as the kiss intensifies.

A rush of adrenaline hits you and you feel yourself melt further into his arms as the kiss heats up.

You feel lost in the moment together, the challenge setting fading away until your lips finally part.

{0}_FLIRTY: That was intense! Wow. Just wow!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I know, right?

Hug him

You wrap your arms around his neck and he holds you in his arms.

His heavy breaths and his warm chest makes everything else fade away.

Cool it down

PLAYER_IDLE: I think it’s time for you to cool off and rejoin the boys.

{0}_HAPPY: I guess you’re right. Thanks for the dance.

Keep your hands to yourself

You keep your hands to yourself as his dance draws to a close.

{0} runs over to join the other cheering boys.

GRACE_FLIRTY: Right, boys, time to show you jokers how it’s done!

Grace leans in to the girls.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: Let’s give this man of mine a little test.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: What are you going to do?

Grace runs to the rodeo bull and straddles it reverse cowgirl style.

GRACE_FLIRTY: Like what you see, boys?

OZZY_HAPPY: You know it!

{0}_HAPPY: Looking great, cowgirl.

The bull cranks into action with Grace giggling as she clings on in her reverse cowgirl position.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Yaaaas! Get it!

GRACE_HAPPY: You made this look hard, {0}.

{0}_HAPPY: Just wanted to make you look even better.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Sure you did.

Grace whoops and cheers as she masterfully rides the erratically moving bull until it slows.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Grace-ful!

BELLA_HAPPY: Certainly not dis-grace-ful.

JAMAL_HAPPY: She <i>cowed</i> it! See what I did there?

LEWIE_HAPPY: Stick to the skateboarding, mate.

Grace flies around the obstacle course, engaging full sass and flirt mode. The boys can’t take their eyes off her.

You turn to Amelia and whisper.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: How do you think she’s going to test Ozzy?

AMELIA_FLIRTY: I think we’re about to find out.

Grace flicks her hair as she struts over to dance in front of the boys.

She takes Ozzy’s hand... before dropping it and walking to {0} instead.

OZZY_SURPRISED: What’s going on?

GRACE_FLIRTY: Mess with the bull, you get the horns, Ozzy.

Grace leans {0} against the bull and gives him a lap dance. Treating him to her spiciest moves!

{0}_FLIRTY: Yeeehaww.

She rhythmically moves her body inches away from him as the boys look on with wide eyes.

BELLA_HAPPY: She’s definitely getting {0} hot under the… cowboy hat!

Grace slowly leans in for a sultry peck on {0}’s lips, shooting Ozzy some serious side eye.

{0} goes bright red.

Grace struts her way back to the girls. {0} tries to catch your eye apologetically.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Looked like quite a ride, {1}.

OZZY_SERIOUS: Wish I hadn’t thrown away my ticket now.

Grace leans close to you, still out of breath from her scintillating dancing display.

GRACE_FLIRTY: I did say I was going to test Ozzy.

GRACE_EMBARRASSED: You didn’t mind me kissing {0} did you?

It was only a peck

PLAYER_HAPPY: It’s only a challenge, Grace. We’re cool.

GRACE_HAPPY: No point crying over a little peck.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: Didn’t look little to me!

I’d rather you hadn’t

PLAYER_SAD: Well, I’d rather you hadn’t if I’m being honest.

GRACE_SAD: I knew he wouldn’t be swayed because he’s so into you!

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Aww, that’s so thoughtful of you, Grace…

He’ll forget it when it’s my turn

PLAYER_FLIRTY: He’ll forgot all about it when I get up there.

GRACE_FLIRTY: Let’s see if you can back up all this talk, {0}!

BELLA_SERIOUS: Well, I’m sure Ozzy took the hint…

Ozzy sprints to the bull and bounds onto its back. His arm and chest muscles tense and shimmer under the sun.

OZZY_FLIRTY: About time someone brought some sauce to this ranch.

JAMAL_HAPPY: Man, I love ranch sauce.

Ozzy does a good job of holding on to the bucking bull as it twists and turns before finally getting thrown off onto the mat.

After a seamless obstacle course Ozzy approaches the girls, ready to give one a lap dance…

OZZY_FLIRTY: Normally, I charge for a private session...

OZZY_FLIRTY: But, {0}, it’s your lucky day.

GRACE_ANGRY: So much for taking the hint.

Ozzy picks you up and carries you over to the bull where he sits you down and begins a mouthwatering dance display.

His hips are electric as his muscular frame grinds and rides up and down your excited body. The boys look on feeling completely outshone.

{0}_HAPPY: He’s making us all look bad now.

GRACE_SERIOUS: Just himself.

Ozzy’s ridiculously sexy professional moves continue until his routine crescendos to a big finish.

He stares into your eyes, your lips inches apart.

As Grace’s eyes burn a hole in the back of your head, you feel Ozzy longing to kiss you…

*Snog him in front of everyone

You lean forward and passionately lock lips with Ozzy, holding his face in your hands.

The other Islanders whoop and cheer except for Grace.

His lips are soft and you sense his muscular body relax as he leans further into the kiss, savouring the moment.

Finally, you part and he smiles at you.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Thanks for the show, Ozzy.

OZZY_FLIRTY: Anytime.

GRACE_ANGRY: Moving on.

Ozzy notices Grace glaring at you both and takes an embarrassed step back before helping you to your feet.

{0}_HAPPY: Think you just checked into the dog house, mate.

OZZY_EMBARRASSED: It was only a challenge.

GRACE_SERIOUS: It was a dancing challenge, not a kissing challenge, babe.

Peck him on the cheek

You playfully lean forward and give Ozzy a teasing peck on the cheek. He blushes before helping you back to your feet.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Thanks for the show, Ozzy.

GRACE_ANGRY: Moving on.

Ozzy notices Grace glaring at you both and does the walk of shame back to the other boys.

Keep it platonic and return to the girls

You cut the moment short by playfully jumping back to your feet, Ozzy takes a step back.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Thanks for the dance!

OZZY_HAPPY: Anytime, {0}.

OZZY_HAPPY: It was fun. Glad you enjoyed it.

AMELIA_FLIRTY: We enjoyed watching, too.

GRACE_SERIOUS: Not all of us.

Grace looks stony faced as you return to the girls.

GRACE_SERIOUS: Good times.

BELLA_HAPPY: {0}, you’re up next!

BELLA_HAPPY: What’s your plan of attack?

I’m dominating that bull

PLAYER_SERIOUS: I am absolutely staying on that bull for longer than anyone else!

AMELIA_HAPPY: She’s always been the competitive one.

BELLA_HAPPY: This I have to see.

You limber up to the bull and do some light stretches to prepare yourself.

{0}_HAPPY: Go on, {1}, show us what you got.

You jump on, holding tightly to the handles as it begins to move around.

The pace quickly increases but you manage to stay on top as the group clap.

{0}_HAPPY: I’m jealous of that bull!

Everyone cheers and whoops as the bull enters its most frantic phase, jittering and bobbling you around until you finally fall onto the mat.

OZZY_HAPPY: Impressive!

GRACE_ANGRY: Make sure your eyes don’t pop out, Ozzy?

You waste no time in jumping back up and flying around the obstacle course in record time.

I’m here for fun not rodeo trophies

PLAYER_HAPPY: This is only a challenge, I’m going to have some fun.

You gallop up to the challenge area pretending to be riding a horse and spank the rear of the bull.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Yeehaw!

You jump onto the back of the bull as it begins gyrating around and tip your hat towards the others as they laugh and cheer.

JAMAL_HAPPY: You’re making it look easy, {0}.

PLAYER_HAPPY: That’s because it is.

In a sudden direction change you’re tossed off the bull and sent rolling onto the cushioned mat.

You jump up and bow to everyone, the group in fits of laughter.

PLAYER_HAPPY: As I said. Easy.

You jokingly wobble back to your feet before tackling the obstacle course as best you can, spending a lot of the time falling over.

I’m playing it super sexy

You saunter up to the bull in sexy catwalk strides before lifting one leg up and doing some saucy stretches.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Just a little warm up, boys. Don’t want to pull something.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Or someone… Or maybe I do!

The boys are stunned into an open mouthed silence as you seductively climb onto the bull, biting your lip as you go.

{0}_FLIRTY: Hot stuff.

As the bull begins spinning you keep your bum up and back arched in a playfully teasing position.

The bull begins to tilt up and down as you gyrate your hips with the movement, until eventually being thrown to the mat.

{0}_FLIRTY: I didn’t want that to end.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It’s just begun.

You sexily parade around the obstacle course, bending over and rolling around in a steamy display for all to see.

After the obstacle course you approach the group and decide who to give a sexy dance to...

Give a lapdance to {0}

You walk up and down the group watching their excited reactions before finally leading a delighted {0} by the hand to the bull area.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Come with me. I’ve got a few things I want to show you.

The group cheer and whoop.

You notice {0} out of the corner of your eye, shaking his head in annoyance as he stares out {1}.

Ozzy looks to the floor by his side, a little disappointed at having not been picked.

{0}_FLIRTY: What type of dance are you going to give?

Let me show you my sauciest moves

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Wouldn’t you like to know.

You playfully place your hand on {0}’s shoulder and guide him down to the floor where you begin a scintillating display of sexy moves.

Your hips ride up and down him as he struggles to decide where to look. An expression of saucy bliss all over his face.

{0}_FLIRTY: You know what you’re doing.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You don’t know the half of it.

You jump up and turn around, riding him in reverse cowgirl as you tease him with your best moves.

I’m keeping it fun and cool

PLAYER_HAPPY: I don’t want to be too try-hard. Let’s just have some fun.

{0}_HAPPY: Good idea. I saw {1} looking a bit sour. Best not to rub it in.

You playfully guide {0} down to the floor where you begin a fun lap dance routine.

You laugh as {0} and the others cheer you on.

{0}_FLIRTY: The best lap dance I’ve had.

With the lap dance over you lock eyes with {0} and despite the cheering Islanders behind you, for a moment you feel completely alone.

He leans forward, slowly...

Kiss him

You take his head in your hands and move in for a kiss.

His lips are warm and you can still feel his heart beating from your lap dance.

As the kiss intensifies he wraps his muscular arms around you and kisses your neck with a flurry of small pecks.

You come back to earth as the kiss ends and see him smiling back at you.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m here all summer. We should do that again some time.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

Return to the others

You smooth over the potentially steamy moment and jump back to your feet, pulling up {0} as you do.

BELLA_HAPPY: You owned that, {0}!

PLAYER_HAPPY: It was really good fun.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

Give a lapdance to {0}

You walk up and down the group watching their excited reactions before finally leading a delighted {0} by the hand to the bull area.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Come with me. I’ve got a few things I want to show you.

The group cheer and whoop.

You notice {0} out of the corner of your eye, shaking his head in annoyance as he stares out {1}.

Ozzy looks to the floor by his side, a little disappointed at having not been picked.

{0}_FLIRTY: What type of dance are you going to give?

Let me show you my sauciest moves

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Wouldn’t you like to know.

You playfully place your hand on {0}’s shoulder and guide him down to the floor where you begin a scintillating display of sexy moves.

Your hips ride up and down him as he struggles to decide where to look. An expression of saucy bliss all over his face.

{0}_FLIRTY: You know what you’re doing.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You don’t know the half of it.

You jump up and turn around, riding him in reverse cowgirl as you tease him with your best moves.

I’m keeping it fun and cool

PLAYER_HAPPY: I don’t want to be too try-hard. Let’s just have some fun.

{0}_HAPPY: Good idea. I saw {1} looking a bit sour. Best not to rub it in.

You playfully guide {0} down to the floor where you begin a fun lap dancing routine.

You stop every few moments and laugh as {0} and the others cheer you on.

{0}_FLIRTY: The best lap dance I’ve had.

With the lap dance over you lock eyes with {0} and despite the cheering Islanders behind you, for a moment you feel completely alone.

He leans forward, slowly...

Kiss him

You take his head in your hands and move in for a kiss.

His lips are warm and you can still feel his heart beating from your lap dance.

As the kiss intensifies he wraps his muscular arms around you and kisses your neck with a flurry of small pecks.

You come back to earth as the kiss ends and see him smiling back at you.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m here all summer. We should do that again some time.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

Return to the others

You smooth over the potentially steamy moment and jump back to your feet, pulling up {0} as you do.

BELLA_HAPPY: You owned that, {0}!

PLAYER_HAPPY: It was really good fun.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

Give a lapdance to {0}

You walk up and down the group watching their excited reactions before finally taking {0} by the hand and leading him to the bull area.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Come with me. I’ve got a few things I want to show you.

AMELIA_SURPRISED: Didn’t see that coming…

The group cheer and whoop as a blushing {0} takes your hand.

You notice {0} and {1} out of the corner of your eye, staring each other out in annoyance.

Ozzy looks to the floor by his side, a little disappointed at having not been picked.

{0}_FLIRTY: I really didn’t expect you to pick me…

{0}_FLIRTY: But I’m excited to see what you’ve got in store for me.

{0}_FLIRTY: What type of dance are you going for?

Let me show you my sauciest moves

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Wouldn’t you like to know.

You playfully place your hand on {0}’s shoulder and guide him down to the floor where you begin a scintillating display of sexy moves.

Your hips ride up and down him as he struggles to decide where to look. An expression of saucy bliss all over his face.

{0}_FLIRTY: You know what you’re doing.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You don’t know the half of it.

You jump up and turn around, riding him in reverse cowgirl as you tease him with your best moves.

I’m keeping it fun and cool

PLAYER_HAPPY: I don’t want to be too try-hard. Let’s just have some fun.

{0}_HAPPY: Good idea. I saw {1} looking a bit sour. Best not to rub it in.

You playfully guide {0} down to the floor where you begin a fun lap dancing routine.

You laugh as {0} and the others cheer you on.

{0}_FLIRTY: The best lap dance I’ve had in a long time.

With the lap dance over you lock eyes with {0} and despite the cheering Islanders behind you, for a moment you feel completely alone.

He leans forward, slowly...

Kiss him

You take his head in your hands and move in for a kiss.

His lips are warm and you can still feel his heart beating from your lap dance.

As the kiss intensifies he wraps his muscular arms around you and kisses your neck with a flurry of small pecks.

You come back to earth as the kiss ends and see him smiling back at you.

GRACE_SERIOUS: Don’t know how Ivy would feel about that, hun.

{0}_FLIRTY: It’s just a challenge. No hard feelings.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

Return to the others

You smooth over the potentially steamy moment and jump back to your feet, pulling up {0} as you do.

BELLA_HAPPY: You owned that, {0}!

PLAYER_HAPPY: It was really good fun.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

Give a lapdance to {0}

You walk up and down the group watching their excited reactions before finally taking {0} by the hand and leading him to the bull area.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Come with me. I’ve got a few things I want to show you.

BELLA_SURPRISED: Don’t take him far.

The surprised group cheer and whoop as a confused {0} takes your hand.

You notice {0} and {1} out of the corner of your eye, staring each other out in annoyance.

Ozzy looks to the floor by his side, a little disappointed at having not been picked.

{0}_FLIRTY: This was a bit of a surprise, {1}.

{0}_FLIRTY: What type of dance are you going for?

Let me show you my sauciest moves

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Wouldn’t you like to know.

You playfully place your hand on {0}’s shoulder and guide him down to the floor where you begin a scintillating display of sexy moves.

Your hips ride up and down him as he struggles to decide where to look. An expression of saucy bliss all over his face.

{0}_FLIRTY: You know what you’re doing.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You don’t know the half of it.

BELLA_SURPRISED: Erm. Alright. I guess?

BELLA_SURPRISED: I can’t be too upset when you look that good, to be honest.

You jump up and turn around, riding him in reverse cowgirl as you tease him with your best moves.

I’m keeping it fun and cool

PLAYER_HAPPY: I don’t want to be too try-hard. Let’s just have some fun.

{0}_HAPPY: Good idea. I saw {1} looking a bit sour. Best not to rub it in.

You playfully guide {0} down to the floor where you begin a fun lap dancing routine.

You stop every few moments and laugh as {0} and the others cheer you on.

BELLA_HAPPY: Aww you’re both having so much fun, I want a go.

{0}_FLIRTY: The best lap dance I’ve had in a long time.

With the lap dance over you lock eyes with {0}.

Despite the cheering Islanders behind you, for a moment you feel completely alone together.

He leans forward, slightly...

Kiss him

With a rush of adrenaline you take his head in your hands and move in for a kiss.

His lips are warm and you can still feel his heart beating from your lap dance.

You come back to earth as the kiss ends and see him smiling back at you.

BELLA_SURPRISED: Wow, that looked pretty real.

{0}_FLIRTY: It’s just a bit of fun. A challenge.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

Return to the others

You smooth over the potentially steamy moment and jump back to your feet, pulling up {0} as you do.

BELLA_HAPPY: You owned that, {0}!

PLAYER_HAPPY: It was really good fun.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

Give a lapdance to Ozzy

You walk up and down the group watching their excited reactions before finally leading Ozzy by the hand to the bull area.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Come with me. I’ve got a few things I want to show you.

GRACE_SURPRISED: I’m watching, babe.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: All eyes on me then.

The surprised group cheer and whoop, except Grace.

You notice {0} and {1} out of the corner of your eye, staring each other out in annoyance.

Ozzy leans into you and whispers.

OZZY_FLIRTY: After our moment on the terrace I hoped you’d pick me.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It’s been running through your mind has it?

OZZY_FLIRTY: On repeat.

Ozzy speaks softly so only you can hear.

OZZY_FLIRTY: I keep thinking about our chat earlier! Your flirt game was fire.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I could say the same about you.

OZZY_HAPPY: So, {0}, what type of dance are you going for?

Let me show you my sauciest moves

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Wouldn’t you like to know.

You playfully place your hand on Ozzy’s shoulder and guide him down to the floor where you begin a scintillating display of sexy moves.

Your hips ride up and down him as he struggles to decide where to look. An expression of saucy bliss all over his face.

The other Islanders are frozen in an awkward silence as Grace simmers at the sight of you dancing on Ozzy.

OZZY_FLIRTY: I feel like I should close my eyes… but I can’t.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You’d be missing out if you did that.

GRACE_SURPRISED: Erm. Not cool, guys. I’m here.

You jump up and turn around, riding him in reverse cowgirl with a sexy pout.

GRACE_ANGRY: Not cool.

I’m keeping it fun and cool

PLAYER_HAPPY: I don’t want to be too try-hard. Let’s just have some fun.

OZZY_HAPPY: Good idea. Think Grace might be getting pretty jel.

You playfully guide Ozzy down to the floor where you begin a fun lap dancing routine.

You stop every few moments and laugh as Ozzy and the others, except Grace, cheer you on.

GRACE_SERIOUS: Times up. Come on. Let’s call it a day.

With the dance over you lock eyes with Ozzy and despite the Islanders behind you, it seems like you’re completely alone together.

He leans forward, slightly...

Kiss him

With a rush of adrenaline you take his head in your hands and move in for a kiss.

His lips are warm and you can still feel his heart beating from your lap dance.

You come back to earth as the kiss ends and see him smiling back at you.

GRACE_ANGRY: You better not be about to come and stand next to me, Ozzy.

As an embarrassed looking Ozzy makes his way back to the other Islanders, the shocked boys give him a pat on the back.

Grace glares at you.

GRACE_SERIOUS: That was low.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: It’s a bit of fun, Grace. Don’t get all worked up.

BELLA_EMBARRASSED: Come on, girls. Let’s leave it for now.

Return to the others

You smooth over the potentially steamy moment and jump back to your feet, pulling up Ozzy as you do.

BELLA_HAPPY: You owned that, {0}!

PLAYER_HAPPY: It was really good fun.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

Give a lapdance to Bella

You walk up and down the group watching their excited reactions before finally taking Bella by the hand and leading her to the bull area.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Come with me. I’ve got a few things I want to show you.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I’m all yours.

{0}_SERIOUS: This is gonna be pretty hard to beat. Great.

The group cheers and whoops.

You notice {0} and {1} out of the corner of your eye, staring each other out in annoyance.

BELLA_HAPPY: This was a bit of a surprise, {0}.

BELLA_FLIRTY: Although maybe not after our chat the other day.

BELLA_FLIRTY: So, what type of moves are you throwing down?

Sit down and let me show you my sauciest moves

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Wouldn’t you like to know.

You playfully place your hand on Bella’s shoulder and guide her down to the floor where you begin a scintillating display of sexy moves.

Your hips ride up and down her as she struggles to decide where to look. An expression of saucy bliss all over her face.

BELLA_FLIRTY: You know what you’re doing.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You don’t know the half of it.

You jump up and turn around, riding her in reverse cowgirl as you tease her with even more of your best moves.

BELLA_FLIRTY: I need a breather after that.

It’s just a bit of fun, I’m playing it cool

PLAYER_HAPPY: I don’t want to be too try-hard. Let’s just have some fun.

BELLA_HAPPY: Sounds like my sort of vibe.

You playfully guide Bella down to the floor where you begin a fun lap dancing routine.

You laugh as Bella and the others cheer you on.

With the lap dance over you lock eyes with Bella and despite the cheering Islanders behind you.

For a moment you feel completely alone together.

Kiss her

With a rush of adrenaline you take her head in your hands and move in for a kiss.

Her lips are warm and full and you can still feel her heart beating from your lap dance.

You come back to earth as the kiss ends and see her smiling back at you.

{0}_HAPPY: No pressure, {1}...

BELLA_FLIRTY: That’s gonna be a tough one to beat.

Return to the others

You smooth over the potentially steamy moment and jump back to your feet, pulling up Bella as you do.

BELLA_HAPPY: You owned that, {0}!

PLAYER_HAPPY: It was really good fun.

{0}_HAPPY: I feel sorry for whoever has to follow that act.

NARRATOR: Up next was {0} who went all out to impress Amelia with his saucy dance routine…

NARRATOR: But I think the fact Amelia spent the whole time looking at a slow moving cloud suggests it wasn’t for her.

NARRATOR: Up next is Amelia who’s just about to choose a boy to give a lap dance to.

AMELIA_HAPPY: The boy I want to give a dance to is...

AMELIA_HAPPY: Roberto.

AMELIA_HAPPY: It’s about time someone taught you the dancing basics.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: I need all the help I can get.

{0}_SERIOUS: I guess I should have turned my moves up a notch to secure that dance.

OZZY_HAPPY: A singular notch? Maybe try a few hundred notches mate.

Everyone laughs as Amelia leans in and whispers in your ear.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Just a bit of fun, {0}. No toes will be stepped on. I promise.

PLAYER_IDLE: Ok.

Amelia leads Roberto to the bull and gives him a fun and very PG lap dance with a playful peck on the cheek to finish.

When they’re done, Roberto stands with a great grin on his face.

ROBERTO_HAPPY: I’ve learnt so many moves today.

JAMAL_HAPPY: Let’s see them then!

Roberto drops to the floor to recreate one of Amelia’s moves but his rhythm is still all over the place with stiff and wooden hips.

AMELIA_HAPPY: Ok, we may need a follow up lesson.

AMELIA_HAPPY: But that’s a definite improvement!

NARRATOR: Second to last was {0} who stayed on the bull for as long as my mates stay on the line when I call them.

NARRATOR: Eight seconds. Which is also the time it takes for them to say Get some better puns! They’re <i>pun</i>supportive!

NARRATOR: And despite his best efforts, his dance routine reduced Bella to an attack of the giggles! Reminds me of my love life.

[chibi-pix]

Chibi watches V3D 15

Time for an episode of Voltron: The Third Dimension!

Fifty billion inhabitants in the moon-cities!?!?! No thanks. That is way too people-y for me. Oh look, it’s Haggar. Bringing to life robot dinosaur things. I mean. It’s effective. “Yes, by all means, go away. Far away.” Yeah, I feel that on a daily basis with folks. I love the Voltron force, but dudes, I feel like I’m vibing with the space witch more.

Yeah sure, strike a black hole to mess with the gamma energy or whatever. That sounds safe. I get that it seemed to go well for the team, but still. It does not feel safe. Well, whatever. It worked.

I don’t trust Lotor with a white flag… Oh look, he wants to return Zarkon. Can’t he just keep him? “I’m in agreement with blue boy here.” Lotor, was that a reference to Lance’s uniform having been blue back in DotU? Or is he just colour blind and thinks red looks blue? Allura’s plea for Lotor to not attack the Troika moons because there are innocent folks and children there. Honey? Did you really expect him to reconsider at that? Sweetie, bless your heart.

Amalgamus really considering the destruction of the robot lions. Does he not remember the trial? It’s been pointed out that, more or less, Voltron doesn’t belong to the alliance or serve it. They serve the universe. Jeez. Someone scrap this calculator. Oh wow. This show actually says the word “massacre”?! A children’s show actually says that word?! I’m amazed.

“Will the alliance leaders decide to destroy the Voltron lions?” They have no right. Right? The lions aren’t theirs to do with as they please. And these people are dense, ready to make the sacrifice. Do they really think if the lions were destroyed that Lotor will just turn over a new leaf, be good, and no longer attack anyone? They have not seen many shows to think it’s a good idea. Bad guys NEVER play fair.

Pidge reminding Amalgamus that the lions don’t belong to him, but to Arus. Yeah! You tell him, Pidgey! Oh… Allura is ready to turn the lioons over. And Lance being pissed about things. It’s intriguing that Lance feels that they’re betraying the lions by turning them over to be destroyed. And you know what? He’s right. Honestly, I side with Lance on the matter big time.

Poor Red having to be towed. Almost seventeen minutes in, I really hope that even without her pilot, Red decides to act out, refusing to give up. C’mon, baby! Reflect your pilot! Follow his lead and not be down with this bullshit! “I keep thinking that somehow someone’s gonna stop it.” Hunk, babe. Lance is unaccounted for, with reasons, and the lions might be sentient? If Lance isn’t secretly in Red ready to cause trouble and be defiant, then I bet the lions are gonna make their opinions on the matter known. Oh, Lance wasn’t in Red at the moment. But he’s definitely fighting to defend her! Good job, Lance! Show that loyalty! Lance getting shot down, my draw dropped. And Lance is pissed with the others, calling them ex-friends.

Okay, watching the lions be wrecked and dismantled, I actually feel like I wanna cry. “What have I done?” I dunno, Allura. Maybe just betrayed the lions who were nothing but loyal and faithful to you guys and doomed the universe?

Oh. Voltron lights just shot off. Hoo boy… I wonder where they went.

Yeah, it’s no surprise that Lotor’s fleet is turning back around and not gonna be destroyed. Amalgamus should have seen this coming. He. Is. Flawed. Stupid calculator.

The team better find a way to make things up to Lance and then find out where those lion lights went and make it up to them and get them back. Otherwise? Bye bye Alliance HQ.

Okay, all in all? I'm intrigued. I may have a vague idea of what kinda happens in the next episode due to some clips shown in the past in a discord server, but, we'll see on the next time I watch an episode. Also, as much as I vibe with Haggar's little comments, I also vibe with Lance's wit and logic. The man holds the brain cell it seems. Good for him.

Anyway, that's it for the night. Until next time!

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DCCU Interlude: The Legion of Super-Heroes (Part Six)

Part VI: Starting the Story AKA The Pilot

So, with the set up of the last five goddamn essays done...now what? You probably won't be terribly surprised to hear that I'm not a writer by trade. A rambler, kinda, but not really a writer. But I'm also an avid watcher of television, especially superhero series. So, I have a general idea of what I'd like to see in this series. Not sure still whether it'd be animated or live-action, but I'm aiming for hour-long episodes (dependent upon streaming or ad-time) either way.

This post will be a basic layout of plots for a first season of this show, with the plan to set up a second season as well. As for what I'm using as a sort of basis, well...that's tricky. This is a series with a large ensemble cast, dramatic character-based storylines, and a literal universe of worldbuilding, meaning it should feel like a lived-in universe that the audience can get invested in. So, when I was thinking about the most beloved and successful television series of the past decade or so, I landed upon two answers. Two...extremely controversial answers.

Man, oh MAN, is The Flash the biggest disappointment of my life.

Look...The Flash was a really bad show...for the last 4 seasons. Seasons 4 and 5 were not horrible (not amazing, but not horrible), season 3 was pretty decent, and the first 2 seasons were honestly quite good! It has a large supporting cast, great antagonists, recurring dramatic storylines (for better or for worse; looking at you, Iris-Barry romance), and it was a superhero show based on a DC Comics character! So, good, right? Well, the first seasons are definitely good models to base this Legion series off of...but the series as a whole is a big fat warning sign, especially writing and plot-wise.

It's pretty obvious that the series creators didn't have a great plan for 9 seasons of this series, and even the first three seasons are more repetitive than you'd expect or want. I could talk about the massive wasted opportunities of this series for a LONG time (and I will, don't worry; might devote an essay to it, honestly), but it had a lot of problems. Also...yeah, the budget for this Legion series has to be higher, whether it be animated or live-action. I want the world to feel real and lived in, not to not be fueled by crossovers for that sensation.

And sure, there are much better superhero shows to use as a basis here, especially during the renaissance we're currently in. Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, WandaVision, Loki, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Ms. Marvel, Moon Knight, and She-Hulk are some of the recent best. And hey, let's not discount DC completely, either. Doom Patrol is pretty fantastic as comic-book adaptations go, as is Peacemaker, and I haven't really watched Titans past season 1, but I hear it got better as the series went on. Oh, and Stargirl and Superman and Lois! But using the Flash as a basis is...personal.

That said, I do think The Flash also works as a basis because of the wackier nature of the source material. For the messiness of the series, it's never been afraid to go to some crazy places, adapting storylines and characters from the comics with little hesitation...and sometimes little accuracy, but that's a different story as well (lookin' at you, Zoom). But OK, that's one inspiration. What's the other?

Game of Thrones' first season is, genuinely, some of the best television I've ever watched. The wide scope of that series, both dramatically and story-wise, is a great model for a Legion series. With the first season so eloquently showing the fall of House Stark from grace, foreshadowing the rise of Daenerys, and the various struggles within two battling houses. It combined political intrigue with medieval fantasy, and did so masterfully. It gave us memorable characters and storylines, which generated a faithful fanbase for a reason. Seriously, it was amazing television.

But both GoT and The Flash had their myriad issues, especially when it came to sticking the landing. Honestly, the former lasted as long as it did because it at least had the books to go off of. But once that material ran out, the series suffered heavily until the end. The Flash, on the other hand, took from its source material a lot, but never really had a good endgame in mind, and completely lost its focus by the end of the series.

So, looking at both series, the main lessons they have to give are:

Strong protagonists (e.g. Barry Allen or the Starks, Lannisters, and Danaerys)

Strong and memorable supporting cast (e.g. Team Flash, or...shit, so goddamn many)

Threatening and memorable antagonists (e.g. the excellent and unmatched Eobard Thawne, or...well, the Lannisters again, to be honest)

Character-based storylines (for protagonists, support, and antagonists alike)

An actual plan (The Flash had one until season 3, and GoT had one until the books ran out and they had to make shit up...badly)

I originally elaborated on this more, but this is all pretty basic stuff, when you think about it. I'm not exactly breaking ground here. I'm just pointing out where these shows succeeded or failed, and how.

So, with all of that said, it's time to talk about this prospective Legion series, huh? I'll be breaking it down by storyline, which are centered around the protagonist or protagonists involved. I've covered these guys in previous posts, as well as touching upon their storylines, so check those out for more information on individual characterization. OK, let's do this!

Prologue: Plans Unfold

On a dark planet, in some forgotten corner of the galaxy, a dark cult meets within stone catacombs. An obsidian spire stretches towards the depths of space, surrounded by a large and perfectly circular arena, in which the cult gathers. Runes cover the chamber, written in a language thought abandoned long ago. This is, of course, the home of the Dark Circle, the underground antagonists for the season. The robed cultists gather in this ancient place to foment their coming plans.

While the true nature and history of this place will be revealed by the end of the season, the seemingly ancient surroundings immediately set it up as a part of the endgame. Four of the cultists, egged on by the triumvirate of leaders, are sent out into the universe at large to seed their plans, as well as the season's conflict. They enter the obelisk, which acts as a beacon for Zeta Beams, which the Circle can aim and control. They send their emissaries to the next location: Luna, in 3038 CE.

Episode 1.01: Debut

The Moon, in this universe and timeline, is a large mining colony. It's here that one of the cultists arrives, to make their way incognito onto Earth, which will act as the true staging grounds for their plan. Their contact on Earth is a nomadic gang leader and criminal contact known as Cadis Thar-Ok, who will be a major player in this story. Also looking for Thar-Ok, and also on Luna, is Garth Ranzz, a farm boy from Winath here to search for his brother Mekt Ranzz, who was a part of Thar-Ok's gang when they wandered through Winath not too long ago. While the cultist heads towards Knighton, a neostate known for its (literally) underground criminal empire, Garth heads to Metropolis, the City of Hope. Here, he hopes to speak with the Science Police, and to find clues to his brother's location.

Also on this shuttle is a traveler attempting to escape her homeworld, and possibly find a temporary new one. This is Imra Ardeen, an outcast from the Moons of Saturn, specifically Titan. Escaping persecution from her people, and recruitment by the Titanian cult known as the Espers, Imra is attempting to remain hidden. In fact, she is dressed similarly to our cultists, but in brighter colored red robes, rather than the dark robes shed by the cultist. Wearing a circlet meant to mask and suppress her abilities, she is sleeping on the shuttle, and doesn't sense the danger of the cultist. However, she hopes to arrive in Metropolis to answer questions about herself by seeking out the Temple of Mars there.

A quick note about our passengers, in terms of casting. After some thought, Garth is remaining ginger and Caucasian, rather than the darker skin of the current comics. The reason for this is twofold. Firstly, there are way too many Black electrokinetics. Check out my second essay in this series for more about that, but it's ridiculous. Honestly, it's basically a stereotype at this point, and I'd rather not contribute to that. Secondly, though, there's a weird Ginger erasure happening in media, specifically when it comes to racebending characters. And while I'm very much an advocate for racebending, but even I have to admit that this is...really weird. So, yeah, let's keep one iconically Ginger character in this series, shall we?

But what about Imra? She's canonically a Caucasian blonde, but there's no canon reason for this choice. Honestly, as far as I'm concerned, Imra could be any race, and I actually sort of like the idea of a dark-skinned Imra with blonde hair. I tinkered with this idea previously, but I'm actually sort-of digging it now. Especially because...well, name a Black female true telepath in media. No cybernetic enhancement, no magic, just telepathy as a primary and innate power. Go on. I dare you. You can't. Now, that's a trend I'd be down to buck.

We'll get to our third member in a second, but I'll spoil now that I'm thinking AAPI for him. That's flexible, though, so throw whatever image you want in your personal headcanons. Now, back to the story!

Once the shuttle arrives, Imra and Garth depart, and we see their initial reactions to this beautiful and futuristic city. Imra is mostly nonplussed, but Garth is very much into it, before quickly being overwhelmed. We then change to our third major focus: Rokk Krinn, a citizen of Braal and locally notable athlete, here to speak with the United Planets on behalf of his impoverished world. He meets Marla Latham, assistant to his sponsor, R.J. Brande. Marla goes over details of Rokk's stay, then offers to take him to meet Brande, who's currently in his favorite place: the Hall of Heroes.

The Hall of Heroes , a relocated and restored Hall of Justice, is an attempt to revitalize one of the older districts in the city, specifically located next to the historic Steelworks building, which has fallen into disuse in recent centuries. The Hall was moved from Washington D.C., after a historical event known only as Godfall nearly destroyed it and the rest of the city. Housing a massive amount of historical artifacts, the Hall has been expanded upon and restored over the years, until becoming the predominant collection of artifacts from the First Age of Heroes.

As a major feature of the city, Garth and Imra are also headed here. Garth's journey led him to the Science Police, but he stopped at the museum after being turned away from the busy station. Imra, on the other hand, went towards the Temple of Mars, only to find that they had no solid connection with the one she sought, the legendary J'onn Jonzz. Instead, she came to the Hall of Heroes to find more information on him, so that she may herself be helped. And, of course, there's one more person headed here.

In Darkham, the crown city of Knighton, the cultist has found Cadis Thar-Ok, who contacts one of his men in Metropolis to assassinate R.J. Brande for the Dark Circle. The purpose of this is to eliminate a driving force for planets to join the United Planets, which increases order in the universe. Braal's membership is tenuous at best, hence Rokk's visit here. Were Brande or, even better, a Braalian celebrity to be assassinated, this would foment chaos in the UP, and further the goals of the Dark Circle.

As planned, Thar-Ok's assassin makes their way to the Hall, following Rokk and Marla inside. Here, the DC fanboys are fed with artifacts that we haven't seen yet in this fledgling DC Cinematic Universe, as well as hints of battles to come in future projects. It's one of those Easter egg-filled scenes that fans love to dissect for all they're worth. We also get a view of the museum through the eyes of our main characters, which gives us insight into their desires and characters.

Garth, for example, is focused on finding his brother, and meting out any needed justice (or vengeance) against Thar-Ok and his crew. His focus is, therefore, on crime-fighting, so he heads towards a controversial wing of the Hall: Batman's. Now most of the artifacts about the Dark Knight are actually in Knighton, which includes the place once known as Gotham City. Here, though, the Hall focuses on Batman's role as associated with the Justice League. As such, this is a slightly more sanitized version of the character, more akin to Bronze than Modern. Garth, therefore, is interested in the legend of the character, moreso than some of his darker realities. He doesn't want to be Batman. He does want to fight crime of the same caliber, however.

Imra, for her part, goes to the area devoted to Martian Manhunter, as well as the other Martian visitors and heroes that have visited Earth. We can get a look at Miss Martian here, as well as possibly even Jemm, Son of Saturn. However, unsurprisingly, this exhibit is somewhat sparse as well. Mars has reclaimed much of this exhibitry, and other pieces are found in other exhibits or museums. So here, Imra doesn't quite find the answers she's seeking. However, as she's realizing this, she also gets a sense that something is wrong. This drives her to head towards the most popular exhibit. Which, of course, focuses on...

Understand me. No hero is revered more in the 31st century than Superman. Period. There cannot be any doubt about this. The legacy of Superman has lived beyond the ages. However, because of this, there are a lot of misunderstandings about him as a person, outside of being a hero. Put it this way. You know Hercules, right? His labors, his history, that one little time he murdered his wife, you know? But, like...what was his favorite color? Favorite food? Was he a morning person, or a night owl? Do you really know anything about him personally? Hell, what was his actual name? Yeah, I see you nerds with your hands up in the front of the room. To the rest of you, though...did you know his name isn't Hercules? Or Heracles? It's Alcides. But people tend to forget that fact.

What I'm saying is, that while the knowledge that Superman was Clark Kent is technically public knowledge...nobody gives a single shit about the person he was. And so, this exhibit is to all the flash, pomp, and circumstance that is Superman's deeds and legends. We see his villains, his greatest fights, his triumphs. But what Rokk and Brande see, as they walk around this portion of the Hall, is the hope and love and inspiration he gives to everyone that sees him. And that is what brings them together. Superman is the centerpiece of this portion of the franchise, and we should see some of the stuff that he's going to get up to in the future of this DC Cinematic Universe.

Brande and Rokk meet, they have a conversation about Superman and the Hall, as well as the personal strife they've seen and suffered. It's the beginnings of an important conversation, but both are continually distracted by their surroundings. As they have their talk, Garth and Imra walk into the exhibit, sort of in the background. Maybe Garth's reaction to Superman (which should be notably in awe) is noticed by Brande as a part of their conversation. Imra should come here sensing something wrong, but pause in the visage of this figure of legend. Yeah, I'm hamming it the hell up, that's the point.

But of course, in the background, we should see the assassin enter, ready to take Brande out from the shadows. The dark thoughts and influence he's exuding start to overwhelm Imra, which gets the attention of a nearby Garth. She points out what's going on, just as the assassin is readying a weapon. Garth, acting on instinct, fires of a wild lightning bolt at the guy as he sees the weapon. This loud and bright burst of energy gets the attention of the entire Hall, causing them to panic. The Science Police are called, while Brande and Rokk are also made aware of the situation. Hectic action sequence takes place, and Rokk uses his better-honed abilities to disarm the assassin. Imra, unable to hold back her power at this point, uses it to paralyze the assassin as they flee, in an impressive-if-terrifying feat. An extremely haphazard, if effective, display, from all three.

The Science Police take their sweet time to show up, and question the trio in their actions, as well as speaking with Brande and Marla. We meet two members of the police in particular: Gigi Cusimano and Director Ryna Norg. The former is impressed by the action of this trio, while Norg is not a fan of vigilante justice. A common problem in a post-Justice League world, this is a major sticking point for her, so she acts to suppress it as best as possible. In fact, she's about to arrest Garth for damaging the museum, before Brande steps in.

I should stress, by the way, that Ryna is meant to come off as a hard-ass, but also as a great cop and decent person. A bit harder than someone like Commissioner Gordon, but with the same dedication to her job. While she'll be an antagonist, she's not a malicious one. After this misunderstanding, Garth tries to get her ear about his brother, only for her to brush him off and tell him to go through official channels. Not encouraging. When he insists, although he's already on her bad side, Norg agrees to get his info and send an officer to speak with him later. As for where he's staying, he has no answer to that...until Brande steps in and offers to put up him and Imra. Both accept.

Now, at this point, the episode is coming to a close. Other stuff has filled in this episode to extend it to the appropriate amount of time, whether that's flashbacks or extra scenes that I, as a non-writer, haven't come up with. But, at the end, as the trio are settling in and introducing themselves to each other, Brande begins to come up with an idea. And from this, we cut to our final scene.

Typical Science Police interrogation, where we get to see the inside of headquarters. Officers Ryna and the reptilian Howkun try to get information out of him, but he reveals nothing. His role was, of course, as a gun-for-hire that knows nothing about the larger operation. He only knows that he was sent money by someone who wanted Brande eliminated, but has no more information to give. After a while interviewing him, the two officers exit the room and report to a watching Ryna Norg.

Suddenly, the criminal starts to scream, as if being attacked by someone. And before the Police can gas the room or otherwise intervene, the man explodes into body parts, as if sliced apart cleanly by an unseen knife. The officers intervene, but too late to catch anyone. They quickly spread out on Ryna's orders, and the police station is locked down. As this happens, the body parts lie abandoned in the room, with the prisoners head on the table.

Said head then begins to look around, and his body parts start to move.

This man is hapless criminal Cory Belkin, AKA...nothing, actually. You may recognize a character like this from James Gunn's fun and crazy movie The Suicide Squad. In the film, he's known as "The Detachable Kid", or TDK, and he's meant to be a version of another character from Legion lore. Only problem it, he's about 1000 years too early. So, I'm changing two things. One, this is a racial ability for this alien species, from a planet I'm calling Zerpitz. And two, they have the ability to completely separate parts of their bodies, rather than just their limbs. Problem is, it'll take a bit for Cory to come back together.

Either way, Cory takes his time to escape from the poorly secured room, with the help of a device hidden within the vents by one of Thar-Ok's criminal allies. By the time the officers return, his body is gone. With an untraceable weapon and no criminal, the secrets of this crime will remain unsolved by the Science Police. Their first L of the series.

Oh, and yes, this person is absolutely related to Arm-Fall-Off-Boy, for anyone who was wondering. He'll show up later on.

As the cops scramble to figure out the next move, the body parts of Cory Belkin also scramble out of the station. While it takes a while, Cory manages to pull himself together (maybe sans a digit or three), and makes it to Knighton. He reconvenes there with Thar-Ok, who's flanked by other members of his gang. There are, in fact, multiple powered people in this group, many of whom are young, and all of whom faithfully serve Thar-Ok. He congratulates Cory on getting away from the Science Police, but also recognizes that it's only a matter of time before they figure out something's up. Which means that Cory is now a liability. And so, Thar-Ok sends Cory away with cheers at his back, and certain death at his front. A Dark Circle member follows him through the shadows of Darkham, and actually kills Cory Belkin.

Thar-Ok recieves a message that the ugly deed is done, and that a new mission will come soon. We also get confirmation that Thar-Ok, because he can't help himself, used his connections to commit a few robberies in NuMetropolis while the police were on lockdown from Cory's escape. He's somewhat intelligent, he's very brutal, and he knows how to take advantage of a situation. Thar-Ok is our first major boss for the season's first arc.

Well, that's the pilot! I really wanted to devote one full essay to this story launching point, but that won't be the case for the rest! As this essay series moves forward, I'll be putting episodes into bundles, summarizing overall story beats and storylines, as well as establishing characters and their development, if any. And, of course, I'm only covering the first season of this proposed series. After that? Eh, I have other essay series to finally write.

Next post, I'll be putting up the first major arc, in which the Legion is officially established, the other core members are introduced, and the first scuffles with Thar-Ok and his gang lead to the introduction of the next threat: the assassins. See you then!

Next: Birth of the Legion (1.02 - 1.05)

Index: Legion of Super-Heroes

[bugtownthepodcast]

EPISODE 1: PILOT- THE SEVENTH OF JUNE IS OUT NOW

Transcript for the episode under the cut

Click

Bug: Okay, Bug, you've got this. How does this thing work?

Multiple Clicks, clunking sounds etc.

Bug: Come on, you stupid thing, work! Why won't-

Bug: Oh. It's... already recording. Stupid. Let's try this again.

Click

Bug (in fake-cheerful voice): Hi everyone! My name is Bug Whitlock. My pronouns are they/them... I think. Today is my eighteenth birthday. Yay!

Bug (in their normal voice): God, that sounds awful.

Click

Bug: Hi, I'm Bug. Errr... as of today, I am eighteen. I have black hair and brown eyes. I moved into my new flat today, where I found this super-old tape recorder and decided to find out if it works, because why not. Also, journaling is supposedly good for your mental health or something, so... yeah.

A short pause

Bug: Man, this is stupid. I mean, it's not like anyone is going to hear this, so what's the point of it anyway. Just... talk into a recorder?

Bug: Ah, forget it.

Click

Click

Bug: Okay, so this might sound stupid, but I feel like I should finish this entry at least. So, what did I do today? I spent about six hours on the train ride here, then I got lost multiple times, since Pottersburgh is a pretty city, but also one that's quite difficult to navigate. I spent about five minutes just (chuckles) standing in front of my landlords apartment and contemplating all of my life choices leading up to this point, before I went in and got the key to this apartment. Then I started unpacking my stuff, before I found the recorder... Yeah, that's about it.

Short silence.

Bug: I have a bit of money saved up, but since I'll need groceries and stuff, I'll only be able to pay the rent for about... two months? So I, er, have to find a job fast, otherwise I'd have to go back. And we don't want that!

A small laugh that sounds more desperate than amused

Bug: Shit, this whole thing was a terrible decision. Maybe if I'd just stayed, I- it-

A short pause

Bug: Wait. What was that?

Distant voices

Bug: I thought the other flat was empty, but someone is yelling. I- I can't quite make it out, but something about... rats? And... about children.

The voices continue, before staying quiet.

Bug: It stopped. I should- I should probably go investigate to make sure that everyone's okay and stuff.

Short Silence.

Bug: But... what if it's just the tv? I don't know the situation and I don't wanna be intruding or annoying, I just moved in, I...

But if someone's in danger, and I do nothing-

Short pause

Bug: Wait here a minute.

They snort.

Bug: I'm talking to a recorder like it's a person. That's, like, super weird.

A short pause.

Bug: Wait a minute.

Click

Click

Bug (in a shaky voice): Okay, so... I went downstairs and knocked. I was kinda worried that I'd be intruding in some personal stuff, but nobody answered. So I knocked again, no answer. But then I noticed that the door wasn't locked and I opened it, looked inside and...

They gulp.

Bug: Nothing. It was dusty, like really dusty. Nobody has been there for at least ten years, and there was certainly no one there a few minutes ago, or there would've been footprints. I went through the whole apartment, it has the same layout as mine. Absolutely nothing, except for dust and dead flies. But I heard a voice just now, it's gotta be on the recording.

A shaky laugh

Bug: I mean, there's gotta be a rational explanation. It's just... not possible, right? Maybe I misheard and it's actually a noise that came from the next house. Or... maybe I fell asleep for a second. It's nothing. Probably.

A pause.

Bug: I'm just... scared. Because I mean- I need this to work. 'Cause if it doesn't, then all that secret planning, all that money I saved, then that would have been for nothing. And I would have to go back home. And I just...

A sob.

Bug: I thought that if I just got here everything would be okay, but it's not. I'm scared, and alone, and now I'm apparently hallucinating voices. That are talking about rats, of all things. Why am I even still talking into this thing? I am sitting on the floor and I am narrating my feelings into an old-timey recorder that doesn't even belong to me. Look at me, I'm Bug Whitlock and I'm unable to do anything without feeling sorry for myself , apparently.

A pause

Bug: Focus on the good things, Bug. I am in my new home. I have some money saved up, not much, but it's there. If everything went according to plan, my parents have no idea where I am right now. I am a legal adult who can make their own decisions. I am not at my parents house anymore. Deep breaths. Deep breaths, Bug.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

They sigh.

Bug: It's getting late, I should probably go to bed. This won't lead to anything.

Silence, then knocking.

Bug: Who the-

Rustling, then a click.

Click.

Bug: Okay, so... this dude just knocked. He said that his name was Jay and that he lived in the apartment above mine. He'd seen that I just moved in and wanted to bring me some risotto he made. He also had a really cool cane, it had birds and stuff all around.

Sniffling.

Bug: I'm actually kind of getting emotional over this right now. It's just... really nice, you know? I mean, he doesn't even know me. It just means a lot.

A short pause.

Bug: Also, this risotto smells, like, really good. I mean, yeah, you can't really tell, since this is a recording, but this snell is heavenly, it's like paradise for tastebuds. Man, Jay really knows how to make risotto. I owe him my life.

Short pause

Bug: Also, I just realized that I haven't eaten anything today. Errr, so... that's not good.

They laugh nervously.

Bug: I didn't really drink anything either. No wonder I'm such a wreck today.

A short pause

Bug: I'm going to eat the risotto now and then I'll go to sleep. I'll have to go grocery shopping tomorrow, since I don't have any food right now or furniture- I'm literally sleeping in a sleeping bag in the middle of my living room. But I hope to change that as soon as I'm earning a bit of money. Finding a job is... also on my to-do list, heh.

A short pause

Bug: Well, then, good night. I'll try to make another entry tomorrow. Bye!

Click

Click

Bug: Me again, half an hour later. I think I might've found something.

The sound of paper rustling

Bug: So, when I searched the empty apartment earlier, I found a piece of paper that was completely crumpled up. I didn't think it was important, but I took it with me anyway. I just looked at it, and it's a list of names, adresses and ages. All of them children. One is five years old, one is seven, one's ten... And then- here- the date of their dissappearance. The oldest one is about a year ago, and the newest one is... the twenty-first of june. In fourteen days. What does this mean? Is this... the calendar of a serial kidnapper?

A short pause

Bug: What did I get myself into?

Click