#i really liked this project from 2 years ago
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Thoughts on Jack's dream(MASSIVE main story spoilers ahead)
JACKS DREAM got me by the thROAT bc the more I analyze it the more angsty it feels and I alreadfy sobbed n cried and I must SCREAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM He's dreaming of the magift tournament but basically if..... if Leona's plan never took place....... If Leona actually WERE the hero Jack has idolized...... 😭
First I gotta take note dosodkgkfdgjdfkghfdjk hOW JACK YEARNS FOR HIS SENPAI'S PRAISE AND AFFECTION 🥺🥺truly the epitome of loyal, puppy-like behavior..... It doesn't take much for him to be happy… He yearns for the respect and acknowledgement of those he admires. He craves respect and recognition, but not only that—he genuinely wants to see those he admires thrive.
Seems to me that what Jack longs for most is a sense of belonging within a pack. He’s not just devoted to those he holds in high regard; he also desires to be cared for in return (This becomes even more apparent when he asks Ruggie to act as a mentor or older-brother figure in his dorm uniform vignette.) Jack's actions reflect his innate wolf nature—a being built for connection, loyalty, and mutual protection. No matter how much he tells himself or others how he prefers to handle things on his own… We can clearly see that Jack is happier when he’s part of a team, fighting alongside companions who’ve got his back. It’s the dynamic balance of trust: to protect and be protected, to rely on others and let them rely on him in return. It deeply resonates with the essence of wolves.
We often hear the phrase “lone wolf,” an expression of grudging admiration. A lone wolf is often viewed as a rugged individualist, uncompromising and independent, driven to forge his own path, unfettered by the sentimental need for companionship. In reality, few people would ever want to live this way—and, as it turns out, few wolves would either. Wolves, males and females alike, may go through periods alone, but they’re not interested in lives of solitude. A lone wolf is a wolf that is searching, and what it seeks is another wolf. Everything in a wolf’s nature tells it to belong to something greater than itself: a pack. Like us, wolves form friendships and maintain lifelong bonds. They succeed by cooperating, and they struggle when they’re alone. Like us, wolves need one another. (source)
Which is why the factual reality cuts so deeply.
After Ortho wakes Jack up (in oUTER SPACE DKJGDSDKFJGKJS that was so adventitious but so cool.....) and Jack falls down like a meteorite (ALSO SUPER COOL BUT WTF.....) Fake!Leona and Fake!Ruggie rush to his side, Leona softly reassures him, saying it’s a relief he’s uninjured and advising him not to be so reckless while Ruggie says ''You're a promising rookie. Our treasure.'' (I started crying here.)
Jack breaks into a bitter, despairing laugh as the truth crashes down on him. The sincerity and warmth his “upperclassmen” showed in that moment? It wasn’t real. It never actually happened. Jack recounts his excitement when he first joined Savanaclaw, eager to fight alongside the dormmates he admired so much. He talks about how he had watched Leona’s play three years ago—over and over again, captivated by it. He reveals the painful truth of discovering their wicked plan, the frustration of being unable to snap them out of it, and the overwhelming helplessness that consumed him.
I gotta say, I'm SO HAPPY that Jack's feelings on the events of book 2 were finally properly addressed now (cause let's be real, book 2 uhh... did kinda a shitty job at this 💀 Neither the narrative nor the fandom really took the time to explore the emotional impact it had on him, which is such a disservice to his character.)
Think about it from Jack’s perspective. He was obsessed with Leona's play 3 years ago, watching it over and over again. In his eyes, Leona was a hero, someone worth idolizing to the point of projecting an idealized image of him: an earnest, hardworking, honorable leader. When Jack finally had the chance to join Savanaclaw and be part of the dorm he had admired so deeply, what was his reality? Ostracization, bullying and even physical violence from some of his dorm mates (as shown in Leona's dorm uniform vignette) And worst of all? Jack was met with his idol’s true, treacherous side—dirty tactics, underhanded schemes, and a willingness to harm others to achieve his goals. When Jack tried to confront them about it, he wasn’t met with understanding or respect. Instead, he was called a “filthy traitor” and a “spoiled brat”—by the very person he admired most. It’s a complete dismantling of everything Jack believed in, everything he worked for.
It's a shame the game and manga did not give enough weight to Jack’s feelings, (the novel seems to do a better job at it though) but now it’s clear just how much this hurt him. It wasn’t just a setback; it was a deep, personal betrayal that shook him to his core.
He’s only a first-year. Beneath his gruff demeanor and physical strength, Jack is still a boy—pure-hearted, earnest, and full of hope. All he wanted was to stand beside those he respected most but what he got instead was disappointment, betrayal, and rejection. To idolize someone so deeply, only to have that image crushed in the most personal, gut-wrenching way........ Savanaclaw doesn't deserve him 💔
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,,,,okay forgive me to break the essay to talk about this but I'm going insane over the fact fake Ruggie ominously coos, ''Hey puppy-chan you're a good boy so come here.....'' UGHGHHHDSHNGDSHNDGSHHHnnnnhhHHHH HE IS BASICALLY SAVANACLAW'S UNOFFICIAL MASCOT,,,,,,, their loyal little puppy 🥺🥺🥺😭😭
fake ruggie and fake leona try to lure him in to sleep again, but Jack says he has no intention of fighting alongside fakes and defeats them 😌
And we get this utterly precious moment where Jack praises Yuu and Grim for having guts and persevering through everything and he PETS GRIM'S HEAD............ HE DIDN'T NEED TO COMFORT THEM BUT AWWAAHBBBAYYAWYWYHAWWABYWAWAYAA
I can't wait to see what role he'll play in Leona's dream 😌 Jack’s arc feels like it’s finally getting the weight it deserves… 🙏🙏🙏
#twisted wonderland#twst spoilers#twst book 7#jack howl#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#savanaclaw#shakes shaeskshakesshaks you IM LOSGIN MY MIND..........#JACK PETTED MY HEADD TOOOOOOO NOT JUST GRIMS!! *inhales copium*#THIS UPDATE WAS SO GOOD 🙏#thank you for giving me tiny itty crumbs......#unrelated but the moment when leona said ''you woke up.....poor thing'' uhh that was 😳😳😳incrediblhy..........ghghghrhgrrrrr hgoroh#you know at his breakdown i couldn't stop thinking of a line from phantom of the opera that fits him so much at that moment#“farewell my fallen idol and false friend. we had such hopes but now those hopes lay murdered”#jack and leonas relationship is so complex i love them so much :(((
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brief points from spare me your mercy press con interviews
disclaimer: with VERY limited thai comprehension skills and auto subs, here are the few points i picked up from two torjj interviews (one with director wo and screenwriter lux, one without them). if any kind fans would like to fansub interesting bits from the interview, i'd love to be tagged in (boop @recentadultburnout)
1. The TorJJ interview with Wo and Lux
youtube
it took them FIVE years to find the right cast for spare me your mercy. they bought the rights to the novel 5 years ago.
screenwriter lux says that it's less a matter of finding talented actors with capability to play the roles but rather finding the people with the right age, ability, same attitude, same passion to tell the story of euthanasia because it's a sensitive subject matter
director wo compliments saying that he met a lot of talented actors but it's by chance that they were able to get tor and jj who share the same passion in telling the story
tor jokes that it's not easy to get a compliment from director wo like that. tor says that the subject matter is what pulled him into doing this project and that if he's decided to do something, he's fully committed to it.
jj says he feels the same and hope that everyone follows the story because not just his and tor's characters but everyone else is great
tor says he had to do homework for his character too since dr. kan is not like the doctor we usually see at the hospital, but one that specialises in treating terminally ill patients.
jj says that he was nervouse since it's his first time working with screenwriter lux and director wo, first time leading a one31 original. he wants everyone to follow the story since his character wasan will face a lot of problems in the story.
jj says everyone already know his first work with tor is in family we trust and at the time they were still getting to know each other so there's a bit of tuning and adjusting to each other but coming into this work (spare me your mercy), it just flows and is already easy for him when paired up with tor since the chemistry comes easily.
(on the subject of a very experienced supporting cast ) director wo says it's like he didn't have to direct at all because it's really easy to work with these experienced older actors. he doesn't want to spoil anything but the supporting actors are really good.
screenwriter lux says that since the story being told is quite complex, it was established from the beginning that they would cast actors who have the capability of delivering difficult performances, even if they're not main roles
2. The TorJJ only interview
youtube
jj says the first challenge is that smym is a series that follows an ongoing investigation so it'll be interesting for viewers to follow what's going on with each timeline and each case
for tor it's the fact that its neo? suspense genre. at first he thought it wouldn't be that difficult but he's grateful to learn a lot from elder doctors for his role. so it's a new experience.
when asked about his character being the one taking care of terminally ill patients, tor says he thinks that's the secondary story because the main story is the suspense (investigation). tor thinks the beats of the suspense genre is hard for his style of acting
but you've done dramas like this before? tor says but he doesn't really encounter suspense (genre) very often. for suspense genre, it's like you know it in your heart but you can't say it at all (i'm guessing he's talking about his character). it's verrrry difficult for me.
jj jokes that it's because tor met him (re: tor got jj as a partner for this drama) that tor's good at it. "i'm just joking joking joking"
from tor perspective, dr. kan is a doctor that we don't get to meet very often, even for tor himself, he's also getting to know this character as he took on the role of dr. kan -> proceeds to talk about how his character doesn't really treat/cure patients but is more like a partner with them until they end their life peacefully
tor did a lot of research for this role, with real palliative doctors but he has to admit that even with his research he does draw a line and he can't interfere to research real terminally ill patients because it will involve with their family as well. so he did as much research as he could but to see things that will disturb the privacy of real families, he can't do that
tor says he can only make assumptions from what he's researched and he accepts criticism if ppl say "you can't understand fully like that", he admits he can't bc he can only do so much research without affecting real life people.
jj says that it's difficult for him as well (in the role of police officer) because when entering crime scene, there's a lot of details. and the timelines for the series is a bit confusing (maybe he's talking about non-linear narrative?). so wasan may not be done with one case yet we're already jumping into another plotline (ah maybe he's talking about there being many different ongoing plot threads) which makes it interesting to follow along
for jj's character, he says it's not difficult like tor's character because his character is a detective who doesn't have things to hide so the approach to their respective characters is not the same
jj says it's not just enough that each characters have their own self-conflicts but there's also conflicts between them as a couple.
who's the one playing with the other's heart? tor says "if you think jj's character or mine is playing with the other's heart then you're WRONG"
so no one is playing with the other's heart? no one is fooling the other? no one is using love to trick the other? tor "no, love isn't something to be played with. BUT… EVERYONE in this story will be playing/tricking on each other. everyone is playing the everyone else's heart in this series"
tor "you will be able to see it from the first episode, that our identities (he's probably referring to their sexualities?????) are already told/being shown"
jj "let's talk about the first scene, when we first met. i think everyone will be able to tell that there's "something" going on" 🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈????? "i hope everyone will follow the series, because if i reveal it then you won't be excited for it"
"oooh you're playing a couple. how do you level up?" jj jokes "are you excited? 😏i'm excited too ☺"
tor "this one i can spoil for you. the chemistry in our relationship will develop naturally and smoothly. very normally, very smoothly. i believe that if the actors could feel [the chemistry] the audience who watch it will be able to feel it as well"
"how complex/confusing is the series?" tor says "oooh do i have to count/quantify that? hmm, if you ask me if it's confusing or not, i'd say that it's not confusing but it's the overlapping events/plot threads that makes it confusing"
is there pressure to work/act in this? (i'm guessing the interviewer is implying abt starring in a bl series 🙄) jj says not much pressure on the acting aspect because they can communicate and it's easy between the two of them because they're already close with each other
are you prepared to face what will come next like the sns discussions or questions about this subject matter "euthanasia?" tor feels like they don't have to prepare for it because even though it is a sensitive subject, the series doesn't point to what's wrong/right idea about euthanasia. if you look more closely, it's more like a series that presents clashing beliefs on the subject matter of "euthanasia" to stimulate this discussion/debate in society. we can't control what ppl say on sns but what we're clear about is that the series does not intend to "teach" anyone anything. it's not like we're forcing ppl to debate this question. if you finish the series and have questions, then we can discuss. if you finish the series and just enjoy it for the investigation/ whodunit story, that's good as well.
jj was happy that the series was filmed in his hometown chiang mai and praises the production team for being very professional, arranging travelling and staying very convenient and comfortable.
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One tiny little very annoying thing about blogspot is that when I'm doing stuff with multiple tabs open I like to switch between them using the command & number keys, and I have to remember to not do that if I'm on the blogger tab because hitting those keys there will change the size of the font.
#irksome things#I really need to write blog posts more often#I still have sewing projects from like 2 years ago I haven't blogged about
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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GAH LONG POST..
xingqiu and chongyun have insanely good potential for angst my god. xingqiu in particular is so fun to think about in the context of chongyun. what do YOU know about chivalry boy
thinking about how he and hu tao kinda operate on similar notions of justice and all that shmick except hu tao is more strictly averse to disrupting the Natural Order (incredibly vague and generalized concept rn sorry) whilst xingqiu sets his principles more arbitrarily. chongyun's presence somehow foils a lot of his notable character traits. gestures hands vaguely in the air but sth sth hu tao would not approve of xq's moral infractions
perhaps im just reading too deep into this but shrugs ill admit something's changed in Me the last 2 years and coming back to xq and cy has me like. scratches head now hold on im not entirely sure if i even like the way xq treats cy. its kinda one of the main points of their dynamic- the whole.. pranking this oblivious guy who i really adore etc. but its deeper implications leave me a little unsatisfied and a little troubled (?).. in the long run i personally dont really see anything substantially appealing about their (leaning towards romantic in this context) relationship other than like ?? the tropes that mhy imposed upon them. they were created as a compatible Duo ykwim. they reference each other a lot in their lore and even in-game but.. idk maybe i just view them separately instead of a joint unit that anaylzing them individually revealed a lot of crevices and cracks in their ship that's built upon their mainstream appeal
but anyway i've thought a lot about them as a duo and is it nuts to say i like them as a romantic ship but if they were unrequited. i can see them working out but it necessitates a complete subversion and reconstruction of xingqiu (chara development basically LOL) on my part that i would totally invest myself in but im not entirely sure how to execute it
i like xingqiu a LOT as a flawed character. i wouldnt go as far as to say hes toxic, just very conflicted and insecure. hes a fun character to think about. re: the hu tao bit i mentioned above, i think they would have a really fun, witty, and transformative friendship
but anyway. yes i like xq and i still like xy. theyre just a bit more complicated now aha. im still capable of enjoying fluffy ship dynamics but lately ive been in a Character Study Mood ... mmm.. ive yet to organize my chongming thoughts
#tangy talks chongyun#tangy talks genshin#xingqiu#hu tao#chongyun#on my cf list i specifically wrote:#“ive destroyed whatever palate i had for them(xy) 2 years ago and developed a new one that's more sour” LOL#it's true rip i was going thru my old art it's really funny how much ive changed since then#i feel like i just.. developed different outlooks ..? aka me realizing i might be aro#ive been much more qpr inclined w my ships aha. im also in love with all my friends. i like projecting my values of love and intimacy into#my favorite characters eeep.. shoutout to the raven cycle#i think the only ships i have that r conforming and exhibit conventionally romantic attitudes are uhm.. my bard and shadowheart ..and ..#natasha and pierre from war and peace BAKFBAJG#idk though i dont really like labeling relationships and Love and whatnot. just using categorical terms for convenience#wow these tags are long as hell#sorry im just rambling here but. i want the best for chongyun okay#im not rly sure if anyone shares the Same vision for xy but welp i☝️ will die on this hill#i talked vaguely here my bad#that was on purpose though lest i. idk. link a pdf#as for chongming i need to marinate gaming in my head more#can anyone tell i take my ships seriously LMFAO mfs wont settle for surface level bonds. i WILL excavate their pysches#ignore typos sorry.. typing this in bed#tangy talks Vaguely#using that tag so ill remember to elaborate on these umbrella topics later
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Good god I really did start translating the Comic Anthology 2 years ago now, huh... Scanlating manga solo is so much work lol Shoutout to people that do these all the time for fun because I go mad after trying to OCR the 5th obscure borderline illegible handwritten kanji in a row in some of these
I'm going to finish the Character Designer article translation, and then I want to work on Interlude, and then I will do chapter 11 of the GGCA. Sol Badguy is in it, I actually have incentive this time
Btw @/magicalgirlfia picked up the Lightning the Argent translation so I've shoved that to the back, back burner of my to-do list
#textpost#I didn't really think about how much effort/time the wiki fork took away from doing other projects until I see something like#'posted 2 years ago' on Slave To The Grind over on Mangadex lol
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous
Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really
#it speaks#white woman moment#its really funny bc like. its very much a her to jfk song#(everyones favorite problematic short king)#but she looks at him with uhhh#like heres this kid(hes 28) standing on the precipice o what she had been all those years ago#but he KNOWS it she didnt know she thought she had mold poisoning from her shitty apartment until she died#and she is projecting so much onto him. which is part of why she doesn't respect him at all#'im a sucker just like you'#its also funny bc like. it is Too Late for Phoenix.also its scary that theyre hungry bc as far as she knows death avatars arent supposed 2 b#but also theyre the first one shes met. and Phoenix is kind of just scary in general.#but being around those two is like. almost flashbacky(jfk also reminds her alot of her ex aroun that age tho audreys dad was Worse)#(she never met him but heard enough stories about the guy and i mean. he fed her to the hunt on purpose.#i dont think jorges dad wanted what was going to happen to happen)#part of why she texted her so fast tbh. not that they hadnt talked at all since the divorce.#i thinj they talked. not alot bc mel WAS in europe and international data rates pre smartphone age oof ouch#and also like. they did irrevocably harm eachother physically and mentally but they do both careeeeee#tho. i do not think melissa wouldve ever dropped everything to go help audrey like audrey would and did for her.#(girl who runs away from her problems x girl who is a dog)#auuughhhhhh#she really is my chew toy.#i also think alot about her sky mafia years but those r fun and sexy little secrets for me#as much as i love Basil's motw campaign i do with it was easier to unentangle her from tma lore.#bc like. normal vampire works well but it loses so much of the flavor. various sea beasts keep the flavor but loose the morality.#for pathfinder if i were to redo her id go with storm oracle and then spec into kineticist. which does work Ok I Guess.#but like. even that its still not what i want#one scene that probably would've never happened in game but i thought ahout if we ever went back to the item storage or maybe a wierd thrift#shop or something was to like. have her come across a violin and pick it up and make it scream horribly. like. really concentrate on making#it make the worst noise imaginable. shes trying to reach that wonderful horrible music avatars mention alot in the earlier seasons#and then realizes everyone else Hates That So Much and jokingly play one of the devil's riffs from tdwdg. tbh i should finally draw that
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Not really a puppy update, but kind of one anyways:
Over the course of this year, our neighborhood has been increasingly unsafe. From very occasional incidents over the years we've been here, to multiple shootings and murders within a quarter mile of our house, just in the past couple months we're at 7-8 incidents. I even was outside about 20ft away from people shooting at each other in their cars (terrifying). Our county has had a couple city council sessions to try and address the violence. But, tbh, I just don't think I'm able to feel safe here. Which is to say, essentially, in the hopefully nearer-than-not future, we will be moving.
As much as I badly want Misty to have a sister and as disappointing as it is to have the ideal timeline disrupted, future miss felony probably exists at least a year, maybe even two, away. Unless some maybe maybes happen. On the brightside, a non-negotiable is a bigger yard/more land, so the pup(s) will be very happy with their zoom space.
#disappointment is such a difficult emotion for me#i really really wanted to get the second pup between misty turning 2 and 3. and now she's about to be 3 and the timing is just not great#focusing on the many many house projects we want to wrap up and the happy thought of a better#and more functional outdoor space for us all#the mosquitos are so bad here that we cant even spend time in the yard#so hopefully a year or so from now we'll be able to hang out outside with pups and they'll have room to run all out if they like#and the chickens will get a big coop upgrade too#anyways anyways#mostly just venting some lack of puppy sadness#also!!! at 1130ish AM a few days ago someone was driving around shooting at dogs outside!!! shocked more by that than everything else tbh#we are supervised backyard or straight into the car only until the police find whoever that is
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Hello! I'm loving Breaker Whiskey, it's so beautiful and it's also making me better at Morse Code, lol. I've got a question about episode 60, though, what's the music that's mixed into the morse and static? It sounds like a very old recording, and I love that sort of thing. Thank you for sharing your shows with us!
ahhhh this makes me so happy!! I LOVE that it's getting people into Morse Code, that thrills me.
(some spoilers below about episode 60 of @breakerwhiskey, including additional explanation from me that you may or may not want)
yes, the music mixed into episode 60 IS an old recording! it's a song played on a phonograph - I use a service called Splice to get a lot of the sounds I've put in a bunch of my shows, and there's a pack that's all sounds from vintage audio devices. there's a few of those sounds mixed into episode 60 - a phonograph song, the sounds of wax cylinders being played, and a recording of Thomas Edison explaining the phonograph - all of them distorted to be mostly unrecognizable.
the song file itself is just called 'phonograph song' - I think a bunch of audio engineers just recorded whatever they could off the vintage resources they had - but as far as I was able to glean from the lyrics (they're not that much clearer even undistorted) it's an 1860s confederate rallying song, which I thought would be just about the worst possible thing that you could hear played at random over a radio frequency. I wanted the sounds all together to be menacing, and Whiskey has talked a lot about the myth-making of America vs. the cruel reality, so it felt on theme.
that said, the phonograph sounds were chosen mainly for the literal quality of the sound - that tactile, fuzzy wax static - rather than any true story importance. there are story-relevant sounds mixed in there, but I'm not going to tell you what they are or what they mean!
#breaker whiskey#sorry that the song itself isn't something anyone would want to listen to!!!#but I did think it was interesting/would be absolutely bone chilling to hear in the middle of nowhere#not that whiskey necessarily was hearing the same transmission wE were all hearing#she was camping!#she may not have heard anything at all!!#I also think it's historically FASCINATING that#at the EARLIEST#that recording was made in the late 1870s/1880s#YEARS after the confederacy lost#and like........a bunch of guys got together and STILL decided to sing that song and record it#it really says a lot about a lot you know?#also that it was clearly preserved by SOMEONE#whereas of course a lot of wax cylinder recordings have been lost#though we do have quite a lot!!!#and more are being digitized all the time#but I try to avoid downloading sounds from - like - soundcloud and stuff#where I'm not sure what the licensing/source of it is#which is what's great about splice#I bought a bunch of credits for LWL music#and then had to use them up before 30 days were out#so I downloaded SO many random things#this was like....2 years ago now I guess#I have a bunch of random radio sounds#a lot of atmospheric music that I could use in future projects etc#ANYWAY#that's the story behind the song#lauren answers things
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I was distraught thinking about all the aran weight projects i suddenly wanted to knit but i dont usually keep aran yarn and I'm BANNED from buying more yarn and also I am bad at spinning anything above sport weight and it would take a while any ways……
except....
Except.....
I do have aran yarn.....aran rug yarn that is....
#the projects I wanna do are all vests.....so the scratchyness is a non issue.....#i have 2 giant cones the only problem is i got them many years ago from a shop that doesnt sell it anymore#and ive used it to make rugs obviously#but like. tiny rugs i use as coasters#so i have emailed the ppl who sell it hopefully they saved the info#ive sincw started spinning for rug yarn and i love it#but again its sport weight (and i double it) so it doesnt really work well with the commercial stuff#the cones are just taking a frankly massive amount of shelf space now#never seen a 2kg cone of yarn before or since lol#i hope they respond#since the yarns were gotten to be woven together they would also make an amazing jacket and vest set#if i have enough#knitting#yarn
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i know literally every woman enjoyer says this but andrea and lori got so much more hate than they deserved
#other#t talks#watching the walking dead#this is great for working on this bastard of a project#cause ive already seen everything in the first like 6 seasons i can just focus on the crochet#which i really have to focus on cause 1 the stitch count HAS to be right for the border#and 2 its an old project from like 2 years ago and by god. was my tension TIGHT.#i cant get into ANY of these stitches without a fight 😭#looking at past me like goddamn bitch loosen UPPPP i cant deal with thissss#fix your fucking gauge!! (we did in fact fix our gauge
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took a shower
is it weird that I want dick to have connections and like relationships outside of the hero community? idk what his current or past state is regarding this, It just makes me kinda happy thinking about him having regular people who live near him, maybe even kind neighbors. like I think im a fan of community and having one, and from what I know Blüdhaven is like Gotham but worse right? there's still just regular ass people living there they just happened to be born there or there was no where else to go, maybe they chose to go there, but they all live there together regardless and shit gets pretty rough. like, they definitely would have groups maybe like neighborhoods or apartment complexes where they look out for their own? idk I just think it would be something I cant describe it, for dick to become apart of the city in a civilian way where its concerned neighbors, getting invited to watch a game, being trusted to watch the kids on the block, people giving food and other things. is it weird?? is it too domestic to want him to have something like that?? like it would make hiding his night time activities harder maybe?? Because now there's people he lives in the same area as that dont know and they could see things. idk I might just be lonely a projecting again hfinsefeusouefn. it doesn't feel fully real when I imagine it, but it seems nice to just be apart of something like that. Because his other relationship are still kinda work related in a sense, and his family ones are confusing. Idk is this even anything at all?
#dick grayson#grem screams#like#I remember growing up in an apartment complex as a kid barely#it was awhile ago and for like 2 years#I might just be projecting a bit of misremembered child like rose tinted glasses with a mix of media consumption#I might also just really like the idea of him having somewhere to go if things go to shitin other parts of his life#idk man#like it wouldn't happen right away the integration into a community#it never is#I just think it would be cool from outsider pov of people getting to know just dick grayson#like yeah#he has weird bruises and sometimes he has a limp#but hes a real one and im bringing him some pie I made as a thank you
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(Long post, sorry y'all)
A little more than two years ago now, my grandmother passed away. She and my grandpa had moved down to my home town a few years before so we could take care of them. I brought them groceries once a week, helped them write checks, fixed tvs, and found lost things. I was really close with my grandma.
In addition to her hilarious personality and dry wit, one of my favorite things about her was that she was a painter and a crafter like me! She used to crochet, and I took her to the craft store a couple of times so she could get more yarn and books on crochet. But her arthritis and the shaking in her hands kept getting worse, so she eventually had to stop.
She kept her most recent project, a granny square blanket, safely packed away in a plastic bin. She told all of us she was going to finish it one day.
Her hands never got better, and when she got sick, and we found out it was cancer, she rapidly deteriorated.
After she passed, I went to work helping my mom clean out my grandparents apartment so we could move my grandpa in with her. In our frantic cleaning, I found that bin again:
DOZENS of granny squares, dozens of half used skeins. I asked my mom what she wanted me to do with it, and she said she didn't care. I set it aside and later took it home.
Maybe a month later, that tumblr post about the Loose Ends Project was going around. It felt like a sign--I was never going to learn to crochet in order to finish my grandmother's blanket. But they might be able to help!
So I filled out the interest form. They got back to me SUPER quick. And maybe 2 weeks later, I was paired with volunteer in my state (only 2 hours away!) and the box of yarn, granny squares, and my grandmother's crochet hook were in the mail. That was at the end of January this year.
Over the next couple of months, my "finisher" emailed me regular updates on her progress, and asked me questions on my preferences for how she constructed the final blanket.
At the end of August, the blanket was done!
I had always intended the blanket to be a gift for my mother. So I cleaned it up, put it in the only bag I had big enough to fit it, and drove to my mom's. I gave the blanket to her and she was gobsmacked. I explained to her all about Loose Ends, and how someone volunteered to finish the piece for us. She was speechless. (I was quite pleased with this, because I am not the best at giving gifts, so this was a pretty exciting reaction!)
She said that it was the most thoughtful gift she had ever been given. She said "your grandma would love this". To which I replied, "yeah, I know she really wanted to finish it a couple of years ago". But that was when my mom dropped the bomb of a century on me--she told me that my grandma had started making those granny squares OVER 30 YEARS AGO. She had started the blanket when my grandpa was staying in the hospital, but that was back when my mom was younger than I am now! My grandma had packed them all away, planning on finishing it, when my grandpa was sent home from the hospital. Then it went from house to house, from condo in Chicago to their apartment in my hometown. All that time and my grandma had wanted to finish it, but couldn't. First because she was busy, then because she forgot how to do it, then because of her arthritis, and then because of the cancer. My mom said she had given up on expecting my grandma to finish it.
She said I brought a piece of her childhood with her mom out of the past.
And really, all of this is to say, if you have seen or heard about the Loose Ends Project and have an uncompleted project or piece from a loved one who has passed away--these are your people. They were so kind and treated my project with such care. That box probably would have been found by my own grandkids one day if I hadn't heard about Loose Ends.
Five stars, absolutely worth it!
(From what I understand, you can sign up to volunteer too! If you have time to share, it might be worth checking out!)
#loose ends#the loose ends project#joy knits#text#long post#knit#knitting#crochet#crocheting#craft#crafting#diy#crochetblr#yarnblr#yarn#knitblr
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i know we’ve never talked but i saw your tags on the post about writing and i just wanted to say that even if you never finish anything, it’s admirable that you do anything with them at all, and that i hope one day you’ll be able to finish something and experience that joy :)
💜💜💜💜💜💜 ;-; thank you for these words!
I really hope to finish a story first draft by the end of the year, or soon after that. Even if its only a draft and that dumb annoying perfectionist voice pipes up and tries to insist it needs to be scrapped or rewritten or whatever annoying thought, im going to be so excited to have something done at least. A first draft i can point to and be like:wow, wooh! I am holding my own story in my hand and i can forget the plot and still pick it up and read it in a few years and how cool that is! How much it makes my chest ache with warmth!
But also, even if i finish no draft this year, i started at least! I wrote 100,000+ words of original stuff this year so at least the ideas are started, are somewhat put down, are pieces that exist now i can treasure and find later
Thank you again <3
#rant#replies#ask#sunriseverse#so like. a couple years ago i finished fanfic what makes monsters stop devouring#and that was the first time i ever finished a. writing a LONG story#b. finishing writing a story that took me 2 years to write so a long term project i had to sustain effort into#c. actually succeeded at fleshing out an outlined long plot into an outlined long form story#and after i finished writing wmmsd. i was like!!! well if i can finish this huge long ass fanfic.#then maybe i CAN write and finish my original stories#because ive plotted those fuckers and max length is maybe 180k for an original story ive got a plot for#(average length probably roughly 50k to 120k with mainly 90k word plots)#so if i can finish a 270k word multi year fanfic i can finish at least a first draft of a fucking oriignal story EVENTUALLY#but god. the perfectionism in my head is really skewering me :c#i have 30-40k of 4 stories done. and now im 1/3 thru them#abd my brains been screaming at full volume WHAT IF THE WRITING STYLE SUCKS#MAYBE YOU SHOULD REWRITE IN X OR Y OR Z STYLE INSTEAD#MAYBE YOU SHOULD THROW OUT ALL YOUR CURRENT PROGRESS AND RETRY FROM SCRATCH#and im fighting so hard to shut that voice up. even if j did scrap stuff... i can do it AFTER first draft is done#so i have the first draft to lean on IF i rewrite with a new style#but no perfectionist part of brain just wants to dump all current progress in trash and scrap it
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"Inspired by an innovative Chilean forest restoration effort, the English town of Lewes is enlisting the help of dog walkers to rewild a local nature reserve.
Heavily degraded by foot traffic, the project co-opts dogs’ tendency to run about in the woods to spread wildflower seed from saddlebags strapped to a harness around the dog’s abdomen.
The idea mimics the function that wolves once played in that part of England, roaming over vast distances getting grass and flower seeds stuck in their coat, only to fall off and germinate somewhere else.
This helter-skelter seed-spreading is actually how many plants evolved to reproduce, and it’s key to maintaining a biodiverse and native ecosystem.
“We’re really interested in rewilding processes, but they often involve reintroducing big herbivores like bison or wild horses,” said manager Dylan Walker from the Railway Land Wildlife Trust who organized the project back in 2019.
“In a smaller urban nature reserve it’s really hard to do those things. So, to replicate the effect that those animals have on the ecosystem we aimed to utilize the vast number of dog walkers that are visiting the nature reserve daily.”
The saddlebags are filled with a variety of perennial plant seeds mixed together with sand. This allows the seed to be spread for longer across larger distances, while also providing a helpful tracking sign to inform the Trust’s employees where dogs are walking.
THE REWILDING MOVEMENT IN ENGLAND…
Salmon Return to the Heart of UK for First Time in 100 Years After Dam Removal: ‘It’s very rewarding’
‘Give Nature Space and it Will Come Back’: Rewilding Returns Endangered Species to UK Coast
Farmer Combats Flooding by Returning Creeks to Nature: ‘Wildlife That Has Come is Phenomenal’
Finally Rid of Invasive Shrubs, Scientists Use Lichen to Regrow the Celtic Rainforest in Loch Lomond, Scotland
2 Beavers Named Hazel and Chompy Reintroduced to English County–the First Ones to Live Here in 400 Years
“I signed up because it sounded like such a good fit. I was asked to place a harness on my chocolate cocker spaniel called Bertie and he ran around spreading seeds like wolves used to do many years ago,” Cressida Murray, a dog walker who regularly uses the nature reserve, told The Guardian.
Wolves were persecuted to extinction in England as early as the reign of Henry VII, who reigned during the latter third of the 15th century.
“A community-based project like this not only helps engage and teach people about the ecological impacts of wildlife but also allows us to make our wildlife and environments richer in the process,” said Walker."
-via Good News Network, July 30, 2024
#rewilding#cocker spaniel#dogs#doggos#animals#england#uk#wolves#ecosystem#ecology#wildflowers#seeds#plants#hope#dog walking#nature reserve#good news
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