#i really like the lyrics i like it when they get more introspective i will be thinking about this for the next week at least

[seaofreverie]

Wait so this means we're going to have the most Sparks-filled Sparkstember there's ever been, right???

[stagkingswife]

What I've Done Instead of Shadow Work

This is going to be the last thing I say on the topic of shadow work, because, honestly I'm getting bored of the subject and would rather go back to talking about spirit work, or spells, or any of the many other subjects that I care a thousand times more about. Some folks seem to be hearing “I refuse to do any introspection” when I say "I have never and will never do shadow work". I have done lots of introspection, I've done therapy that follows evidence based practices, I just see no reason do try and guide myself through a method of therapy with little to no scientific evidence. But in case anyone's curious, or wants some tips, here's what I've done instead! Mindfulness exercises: I love mindfulness exercises that train you to think about your thoughts, but not judge them. Consistent mindfulness practice has really helped me become more aware of my internal thought processes, what I get hung up on, what I struggle with, what emotions I’m feeling and what caused them.

The Artist Way & Embrace Your Weird: These are both self help books for creative folks with a heavy emphasis on journaling and self expression. I found both of these helpful in different ways when I felt like I was struggling with creative burnout or felt like I was stuck in the daily grind of my day job.

Journaling: I keep multiple journals! One is a commonplace book that I fill up with on the spot thoughts, quotes, song lyrics, etc. just stuff I want to remember. The other I write in every morning when I first wake up, a continuation of the morning pages from the Artist’s Way, to just unpack and process whatever going on in my head.

Therapy: Actual real therapy with a licensed professional. I specifically see a pain psychologist because most of what we focus on is the impact my chronic pain has on my and developing healthy coping mechanisms for that.

I think what gets a bee in my bonnet the most about the few negative reactions I’ve gotten on this topic is that these folks seem most concerned about the trauma and “inner demons” aspects of shadow work. There’s always something about how dangerous or unhealthy it is for me or even those around me for me to have not delt with my trauma via shadow work. I don’t like that they presume to know my life and mental health history without having ever spoken to me. And I really don’t like the insistance that everyone has the same kind of trauma that needs to be healed in the same way.

[flusskatzen-blog]

Manchester Ritual thoughts!!! We were just behind the first row at the barrier in the centre!!! Spoilers under the cut

Perpetua is hot as FUCk and absolutely slaying. This guy is giving so much despite seeming a lil overwhelmed. He didn't stop smiling!!!! Honestly so fabulous and suave. Giving non-binary rizz if ever I saw it. Got a few lyrics wrong and dramatically hit his head and keeled over.

Rain was absolutely killing it on bass and the highlight for me was rAIN AND SWISS WEARING GHOULETTE HABITS which Rain flipped a few times like a moDEL

No Perpetua/Dew leg feel up during Mary on a Cross, which was nice that it's special between Copia and Dew

PAPA SAYING "TAKE IT AWAY DEW"

The stage layout was really nice and small, so the band were all pretty close together aside from Phantom and Dew going to the far ends at times to engage with the audience there. Rain kept standing on the steps by Mountain or fully in front of the drums playing to Mountain, in particular I noticed it seemed to be in slower or more romantic songs! 😭

Phantom during Year Zero, when all the ghouls are STILL and RESPECTFUL and intensely into their ritual decided to square up to Papa?!!!

I was copying Phantom's head tilt the entire ritual and made eye contact with him and Rain, and at a later point Phant blew a quick kiss in my direction and while I'm not sure if it was definitely at me, it made me very embarrassed and shy the rest of the Ritual. I guess this is what I get for staring at the Ghouls instead of Papa the majority of the show 😭🤣

Rain was stood by us during Majesty, so I tried to tell them that they're beautiful every time "all beauty lies within you" played

Also amazing that all the ghouls got individual moments and solos I think???

RAIN CHOKED DEWDROP DURING HIS LITTLE SHIT HEAD MOMENT 💀💀💀 F U C K

Aurora's vocals were gorgeous �� and she kept lifting up her wings and it was so elegant and lovely

Cirrus blew a kiss at Perpetua when walking past at the end of her keytar solo

Did I mention Swiss flipping everyone off during Kiss The Goat?? That made me laugh (and his dancing was delightful)

Loved seeing the black bass and Phant's new guitar!! So pretty 🥺 bet he got a fender to match Dew and a Jazzmaster to impress Swiss

Dothoml and monstrance clock were such shocks. He Is and Dathoml literally felt like religious experiences.

New songs were fucking incredible and it was surreal how quiet the audience was for them, I bet the band absolutely fucking loved it. Rare tour experience for them!

The new songs feel so much more personal and introspective than the previous ones, and I'll definitely have more detailed thoughts to post when the album drops.

Wish I could go to every show honestly. It was the best concert experience I've ever had.

Papa rose from the stage on a platform so he looked like he was levitating!!!

And Swiss was given a FUCKING COWBELL AND I TRANSCENDED I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY BROUGHT IT BACK

[crustyfloor]

The instrumentation of R7 is so cleverly immersive in the way it portrays Till's unstable emotions because by the end, Blink Gone is supposed to be petrifying and traumatic for Till. The repetitiveness of the lyrics and the many variations of "Blink gone" are like a mantra meant to drive you mad. The music is quite different from the genres we've heard before because it sets the emotional tone. Blink Gone sounds like mainstream party music (that much gives off a different tone that puts an invisible wall between audience and performer, though we have more of the advantage of seeing their emotions in more focus). That being said, Blink Gone's pacing is fast. It naturally allows this round to sound more like an actual competition. The concept and overall feel of Blink Gone is exhausting and quick (blink and you miss it kind of thing)

And I think that is meant to be portrayed in Till's gradual loss of will throughout the whole round, it looks very clear that he's running on adrenaline and ambition as he faces off against Luka, as opposed to R6, he's dropped the resignation and passivity, and is now probably fluctuating between fight or flight the whole time (Or in other words, Hyperarousal. Which you can identify a lot in his skittishness and his sporatic energy and his hyper vigilance and his eventual lack of response). I think it transitions that way because of Till's protective instinct after such a traumatic situation just hours ago, he doesn't do anything else than what comes naturally, and that is to fight (I think maybe there is a clearer notion behind that that we'll see in his introspection one day). Within his performance, he's actively assertive and firing back, that's what makes the coming scene with Till and Luka and their signature instruments so impactful because Till's skills have always been his advantage, but there is definitely something in the way Luka can do it all and interjects Till's performance with his violin, more smoothly and beautifully as opposed to Till's frantic playing, he makes his presence known and fights with Till for the spotlight, after this point you can see Till losing his wind and his energy comes back in brief strokes, his abrupt outburst of energy is impractical (entertaining most likely yes, but it gives a lot of insight into how he's handling the increasing pressure right now)

His stamina could be better because it can be, but Till didn't come into this round in the best state of mind anyway, it is why it's so easy for Luka to break him down

Ruler of my heart and BL gone have many similarities in this sense, in terms of immersion and showing the emotional volatility of Mizi, because this is Luka's technique, he intimidates his opponents, essentially exploiting their fearful adrenaline and whatever else he can bank on that he's observed from them in previous rounds perhaps, his displays easily steal the audience's attention and leaves his opponent fighting a losing game, essentially exploiting their emotional turmoil

The instrumental takes a low and slow turn in the scene where Luka gets close to Till and touches him so that we only know to focus on him while he sings and intentionally triggers Till, causing Till's shock to leave him momentarily shaken, what I really adore about that scene other than the lengths Vivinos went to to show his emotions-

(Like right here, color theory seems to be implemented to show you just how he feels in that moment, cold > warm > hot / freeze > shaken > assertion from the moment he's frozen in fear and right when he jumps back into action)

Alongside that, the way he sounds shaken as much as he is visibly afraid is so good, especially considering what we know he sees when he looks out into the crowd and realizes that everything is out of his control, and the threat of death is looming. That much is enough to prompt him to give himself the kick he needed to snap out of it and come back into action, though you can really see the way after this point, Till loses his energy, and his stage presence in quick succession, and again, (similar to Mizi in ROMH,) he is visibly panicking and desperately trying to get his wind back to no avail, Till's emotional fragility gives at the very moment he's so stressed his nose bleeds and he gives, the stage scene too circles back to what I said before about Blink gone having a suffocating and intimidating vibe, because hearing the crowd repeatedly sings different variations of " oh in a Blink gone forget everything and just enjoy" is like it's compelling Till to just give up at this point when faced with Luka who has the clear advantage, he'd be playing a losing game. (It's also so especially cruel that in this moment he's surrounded by trauma and he's facing it up-front, the fear in the moment froze him like the other instances, and the intensity of the moment is coupled by the way the crowd becomes more persuasive and has a pervasive influence on the way Till shuts down)

And the visual notes would've given the impression that this is where Till will inevitably lose, until instrumentally and visually the whole scene gives pause and redirects your attention and mood to a newfound energy, as soon as Mizi is introduced again, and the center of his vision focuses on her

In this way, you follow Till's train of thought as he sees Mizi and instantly snaps back into it, not the actual performance, but his state of mind is intensely focused on one singular thing, and that is getting to her. That is enough to get him back on his feet. It's also notable that this is one of those instances again where a character is singing to the listener, but they've actually stopped singing in real time on stage

The instrumentation captures the feeling of elation and hope in that moment in the drastic change of tone, (Save for Luka's utmost frustration/exasperations in his lines I love bl8m for showcasing that in his tone) it essentially sways you into thinking "oh, this is the part where he will be saved" because everything in that scene leads you to that perspective, even in the lyrics Till "sings" quite literally about him leaping for the moment, forgetting everything and not wanting to regret missing this chance to escape. Then he gets shot

If you think that sequence of events was rushed/fast-paced, I'd think that was the intention, given the repeated "blink, gone / the clock goes tik tok" because Till was racing against time, dragging himself to Mizi thinking she could save him was his leap of faith moment, and he went for it. And that's just so good to me, how it goes very literal beyond a listener's perspective, and the way the guitar sounds resoundingly low and ominous in the very end, giving off that sense of dread that Mizi feels, and the question of "what..."

[cowbell-ghuleh]

Skeleta thoughts.

Errr... I just kept writing with this and it turned into a long rambling essay... Idk if anyone is gonna read it but I wanted to get my thoughts down.

One of my vinyls arrived unexpectedly today. Wasn't as stressed out from work as I was expecting so I listened to it. And wow I have a lot to say.

I like it a lot overall, it's an utterly beautiful work of art. I don't think it quite replaces Prequelle as my favourite, but omg this thing is fascinating!

It's definitely a work of art that requires you to engage with it and think. It demands you give it all your attention to fully understand it and appreciate all the themes and layers in the music.

It also feels like an incredibly personal piece to Tobias, moreso than any other Ghost album, and I kinda feel privileged he's willing to share that much of himself with us. Considering he's said Impera burnt him out, I'm glad he was able to write Skeleta to recover without worrying about critics or creating a creatively bankrupt sequel to Imperia.

I'm Gonna need to sit with it, and listen to it, for a while more before really solidifying how I feel about it (that's kinda normal for me, didn't like twenties at first for example and now I love it). This is written after two listens to the album followed by listening to each song on loop.

Long essay below the cut, content warning contains a mention of Self Injury.

So to start off:

My vinyl...

I got the zoetrope version.

Unfortunately I can only see the pictures in focus at certain angles when it's spinning and even then I can't keep my eyes still long enough to see the animated effect. Idk if it's because I wear glasses, or if here's a trick to it I'm missing, or if you need a certain kind of record player. Still looks cool though!

I doubt I'm gonna ever play it again though... especially after my standard version arrives as I'm absolutely terrified of damaging it! Though I think I may have have a slightly miss pressed copy as I had problems with the B side.

The Music

This definitely does not sound like Copia or any previous Papa singing. It's distinctly Papa V, which I love. It's also wildly different from the previous Ghost albums, which in itself is a very Ghost thing to do. This era is entirely it's own thing and that's one of the reasons I love this band.

Some kinda silly / cheesy lyrics but this is the band that wrote Idol-latrine, "grabbing them all by the whoo-ha", " and "fecal trail across the land", so I don't really understand why people are complaining.

It's also a lot gentler / softer than Impera and other albums, there's no equivalent to Faith or Twenties or Mummy Dust here. Though given the more introspective nature of the album I'm not entirely sure if a more heavy/aggressive song would have fitted thematically.

A lot of the songs do kinda feel like they leave you hanging, lacking a proper conclusion, but that kinda works for an introspective emotional album. It feels like you're meant to sit with each song in silence for a bit to fully let their emotional weight land.

I have way more to say about the "new" songs as we've kinda discussed Satanised and Lachryma a lot by this point...

Peacefield

I can't be entirely analytical about this as it's one I heard first at my Rituals, particularly the Birmingham ritual, so it's forever tied to those joyful memories and feelings.

The perfect epilogue to Impera. As others have said it feels like emerging from the pain and trauma, breaking the cycle of empire, and moving on. The future may not be easy but there's hope and we can build something new.

It also sets up the new era, were traveling into dark waters, but we have each other.

As an introduction to Papa V it's also interesting, far less bombastic than Kaisarion, instead of a triumphant leader, we have someone taking your hand and leading you out of the fires and into the night.

Personally I really like this one, feels like the kind of 80s rock anthem that'd score the credits of a fantasy or sci-fi movie.

Though it did make me cry, Mainly due to emotion from the rituals

Lachryma

The one with the music video that had Tumblr frothing at the mouth because they saw a man singing XD

With themes or self deceit and possibly imposter syndrome it hints at the dark places we're going.

Needless to say I love this.

Satanized

We've all been Satanised at this point.

Classic Ghost themes including criticism of religion, and very obvious "satanic" lyrics.

So much fun live too! An absolute banger.

Guiding lights

Kinda flow breaking after front loading the more heavy and rock anthem-y songs. Not in a bad way though.

A train suddenly screeching to a halt followed by Papa yelling "Hey you! Pay attention now! This is where he journey gets dark."

You suddenly get far less filtered (? Idk what the right term is), Raw vocals from Papa. But as you get into the song it gets beautiful but also desolate, as usual with ghost there's layers to the song that you really don't pick up on during a first listen.

It definitely has the effect on you Tobias probably intended. As he's said it's about being unable to talk to a friend who's going down a dark path.

From a personal perspective the sudden break in the flow definitely feels like the horrible moment you realise you've lost someone (in my case a family member) to their own hate, and there's nothing you can say to pull them out of that well. The rest feels like you're almost grieving for a relationship (platonic) lost.

Though I like it thematically, I'm not quite sure if I like it or not musically. I'm not sure if I'd add it to my regular rotation of songs if that makes sense.

De Profundus Borealis

Starts bleak and mellow, building into a power rock style march.

(I can't make out the Whispers at the beginning no idea if anyone has managed to decipher them.)

I don't know if TF ever said what the song is about, and maybe I'm projecting my own mental health issues into it.

But I interpret it as being about Regret and Self Hatred. Anger at, and being unable to forgive, yourself. Being unable to process your own emotions. The voices in your head at 3am that stop you sleeping. How you keep it locked up and frozen but eventually it thaws and the damn breaks, and all that pent up emotion turns inwards and destroys everything within you. (In my case usually manifesting as an SH episode.)

God the ending though, so bleak. Just feels like an empty pit in your stomach. The feeling of nothingness that comes after an episode.

Took a couple of listens but musically it hits the spot for me, idk if they're ever going to play it live but I could hear those riffs killing it in person.

It feels kinda nostalgic in a way but I can't place what / which band / song it reminds me off.

Ctenograph

Unfortunately my first listen to this was kinda "spoiled" because I think my vinyl is slightly warped or scratched on the B side. Fresh out the box and it was skipping and popping a lot...

Yeah... I like this one a lot. Fucking crying again though.

The feeling of grief never really going away but it also in a way means the people you loved never really go away too. Hopeful and comforting on its own way.

"Wherever I go, you're always there, riding next to me."

Definitely had thoughts about my Grandad... He's been on my mind a lot after seeing War of the Worlds last week, he was a big fan and it's a show I planned on seeing with him years ago but we were never able to.

Missilia Amori

Again had problems with it first play...

Gives me the same abuser / stalker talking to their victim vibes as DatHomL... Definitely gives me the creeps... The narrator must possess the object of his lust/love and if they refuse him they must be destroyed.

Given TF has said it's about how love can turn to hate that makes sense to me.

Musically it's not quite my taste, I don't dislike it, but I feel like it's one I'm gonna skip quite often. Then again I might grow to like it a lot more in future...

Marks of the Evil one

Another one that didn't play properly first listen... Skipped / jumped a lot.

Don't really have much to say about this one. I'm not really sure how to interpret it, or what emotion/feeling it's about, or "who" the marks are. Definitely feels like a slight dig at satanic panic and how certain Christians (usually those with a profit motive) see the devil everywhere.

Again it's a song I think I'm gonna have to sit with... Not sure if I like it or not.

Umbra

Full disclosure, this is not a song I can be analytical about...

First time I heard it was at my first ever concert (I kinda missed Peacefield at the Manchester ritual), so it's forever associated with those feelings and the pure joy I felt there.

I fell in love with it immediately, had the chorus stuck in my head all week which has never happened to me on one single listen to a song before, and I am so happy to be able to listen to it again.

I do think the live version is slightly better, but that's kinda to be expected for Ghost.

Though I definitely get more creepy vibes from the album version, like it's more about unhinged lust rather than love, which coming after Missilia Amori makes, this song seem way less comforting.

I've said it before but this song gives me chills and joy and makes me cry all at the same time.

Excelsis

Raw vocals again. Like guiding lights it feels like a stopping point. A real punch to the gut after the joy of Umbra.

While, it didn't effect me like Life Eternal did when I first heard that song, I appreciate what TF was going for. And it might be another song I need to sit with some more to fully get it. It's really reminding me if a Beatles song, but I cannot for the life of me figure out which Beatles song it is... Maybe it's just the raw vocals reminding me somewhat of Lennon...

As a cap to the album I like how it feels like Papa V taking your hand again. It's the end but that's okay we all walk this path in the end.

And like others have commented it's a fascinating contrast with Life Eternal from a character perspective. You've got Copia longing for a life eternal never wanting this to end, while Perpetua accepts his time is limited and that's okay. (I have more comments on that on the concluding thoughts.)

And holy shit though that ending. So bleak. Just drop the floor out from under us Tobias... Again it's an interesting response to Peacefield, if Perpetua is our something to believe in, here he is admitting he's scared and vulnerable too, human like all of us... (Again not something I could ever see Copia doing.)

Concluding thoughts

It's such an interesting contrast to Impera. Impera all bombastic and grand, and Skeleta is reserved and introspective. They really do complement each other so well. They feel like they have the same DNA but but express it in such radically different ways. Again

I kinda love how that feeds into the twin theming of Copia and Perpetua. The brash, extroverted, and limelight loving Copia forced into a behind the scenes role, Vs the reserved, introverted Perpetua who has suddenly been thrust into the spotlight.

----

Thank you so much to anyone who read this... I don't get to talk about Ghost irl and I really wanted somewhere to talk about this beautiful album!

[violetdoestarot]

THEIR KARMA!

FOR THE BABES WONDERING WHAT THEIR KARMA IS 💋

PILE 1 - 2 - 3

PILE 1

THIS BITCHHHH!!! This was a past lover, someone you really thought was your soulmate. This person was a snake. In the beginning, they helped you become the best version of yourself. Was there in all corners and broke down your walls. But over time, this person made you doubt yourself. I see that the sword they gave you to empower yourself in the beginning was double-edged because when the time came, you’re gonna stab yourself with the same sword. Am I making sense right now? They broke your heart. Bad. You probably feel like you might not get over this person and pursue anything romantic for a while anymore. Omg, was there like a wandering eye situation over here? I keep getting that they just moved on quite quickly after breaking up with you. “While I was stuck picking up the pieces, he was stuck picking up her.” That lyric from Mr. Perfectly Fine by TS. That’s literally the whole situation. They led you on with sweet words and a promise of a long term connection. Was this a situationship or something similar where it did not fully feel like a relationship? In any case, their karma is that they will be the center of almost every bad rumor of the shitty thing they did. Their reputation is going down the drain. If they cheated on you, they’ll be cheated on in the future as well. Or if this is like a situation wherein the third party was aware of you, they’ll be cheated on by the same person. If you guys have mutual friends, they’ll side with you too and leave them. If anything legal is also involved, it will be more in your favor. Like they may lose money, property, or at least get into trouble with anything legally. Maybe there is a problem with their insurance. Their investments will get delayed too. Keep your head up! You’ll come out of this better than they will. 

PILE 2

Were you a rebound situationship? I get this feeling that this person only really desired you for your body and nothing else. There was some sort of conflict here with the heart and mind. And I get the feeling they also really fought you a lot, or you had to make them see reason multiple times. I’m getting that you knew of their intention and still went through. Maybe you saw something else, I don’t know. I see this person moving on from their previous relationship, wanting to move on quickly and you were there. There definitely was a mutual attraction here but I also see them using you for your body. Like they just viewed you as a conquest to add to their roster. You were kinda naive at this time, thinking that maybe it was fine. Yeah, they used you because they were bored. I also get the feeling that they used you as a therapist too. For some of you, they did this after hooking up and when y’all are lying in bed they just started ranting. This is weird. They view you as kind of a relief patch but at the same time a burden (don’t want another relationship). So they give mixed signals lmao. So their karma is running to problems with their dad or a paternal figure. Maybe issues with their body as well? Like you know that one trend online, “See who glows up and who glows down after the break up, it will tell you all about the relationship”, they may be on the glow down vibe. I also get the feeling that they’ll be defensive about their reputation and record? Like when they get called out on their immaturity, they’ll be defensive as fuck and claim that there’s no problem. The whole situation’s giving Casual by Chappell Roan. There we go, I was trying to remember a song lmao. They really will be forced to introspect. I would not be surprised if they tried talking to you after reflection to apologize? But they might come across as immature about it and saying the wrong things. 

PILE 3

This person was a mean girl. It’s giving mean girl energy. Maybe this is someone that’s really toxic in your family? Someone really immature. I have a feeling they stole money from you or like new opportunities regarding businesses or anything related to money. Yeah, this is a bitch (lol). I get the feeling that they are generally well-liked by the public or those who don’t know anything behind the scenes. Someone that’s like Regina George vibes. But they are a serial backstabber. I have a feeling this is someone in your close circle at a job or at school if not a family member. This thing that they stole from you, was something you worked hard for and was incredibly excited for. Maybe you were like a new person at this place as well. Oh, did they spread rumors about you? Maybe to someone you needed to prove yourself to? Because I think, to other people they kinda spread a rumor that you were lazy and careless so the opportunity went to them instead? But in reality, they are that lazy person. For some of you, this is a person you worked with in a team of 3 people and they just started talking shit about you to the other person. This is a money hungry person that’s addicted to fame. This project or concept that they stole from you will go to shit entirely because it isn’t theirs. I see them getting frustrated with the chaos of it all and the burden that they carry. They’ll feel like it isn’t going anywhere and they’re pissed off about it. They’ll also piss off the people they’re supposed to please. They might quit or leave to another place because things will go so wrong. Yeah, that’s their karma. They’ll be forced to pack up their things and leave. I see them being forced to go somewhere stricter where they’ll be under constant watch and it will feel stifling. In here, I see them being all “Damn, this is hard work” and feeling a semblance of guilt. I don’t think what they did to you was their first time stealing or taking credit if I’m being honest. If you have a lover, they’ll help you throughout this whole ordeal. If not, you’ll have another career option to choose from. You’ll feel like there’s no true winner to be honest. You might’ve liked watching them suffer for what they did to you but you still had to go through problems of your own so you kinda gave less and less of a shit as time went on? Still, I think you will be satisfied that they got their retribution though. I think you’ll come out of this knowing your boundaries now and speaking out on it, so that’s enough for you. 

[thekirammanjinx]

Let's talk, this got long, addressing continued ignorance and misunderstanding of caitlyn and vi:

"Am I the only one who hates caitvi" no you're not, there's plenty of people with the same ignorant misunderstandings and virtue signaling ideologies. The same people who will spout false information and project their opinions onto the media vs taking the information the media is giving them and actively interpreting it.(that's not to say you can't be indifferent to caitvi. But all the hater are literally so dense and spout the same nonsense.)

"Who you have oppressed for decades" first of all CAITLYN didn't oppressor anyone. So saying she oppressed them is ignorant and a blatant lie. Caitlyn did not have any control or contributions.

Speaking on oppressors; silco and the chembarons have actively been oppressing and beating down their own people. Making zaun a thousand times more unlivable than when piltover did with vander. The firelights came to be because of silco and shimmer. Now, caitlyn did not gas an ENTIRE city. She targeted those afformented groups who have contributed to a downfall and hostile environment in zaun.

(lest we forget the council literally wanted a full scale assault on the entirety of zaun to aquire jinx. So even if caitlyn had done nothing zaun was doomed either way. War was looming if she did not act, you literally cannot talk about this without mentioning it, so the amount of people who choose to exclude this information to skew their "critical analysis")

Caitlyn didn't suddenly become empathetic because of vi. We see her being gentle with the jaw guy after he gets shot by jinx, she listens to vi before they even become more, yes she's apprehensive at the start but to say she changed because vi? Were you watching with your eyes closed and the TV on mute?

Saying that "these are her people" about vi. These are not her people. She actively hated silco and those aligned with him. Also she never was a freedom fighter for zaun. Idk where you got that. She just wanted a better life for HER and her FAMILY. Not to mention a tactical force to get chembarons off the streets isn't an act of oppression. That's a military action of snuffing out a drug cartel who are actively oppressing and harming the people of zaun.

(why are yall so in defense of the chembarons? Like yall truly don't give af about the people of zaun. We literally hear ekko say how bad the chembarons and shimmer have made zaun???)

"If the show didn't paint them good" you must be stupid if you thought the show was presenting it as good. The show is telling the story, it's giving a visual, just because it's there doesn't mean it's good. Or bad. Yes the show presents it as the BETTER option but it still shows how it is not 100% a morally good thing. But again you'd have to watch the show to see that wouldn't you??

(And again why are yall fighting for your lives trying to justify the chembarons existing and treating zaun like their own drug playing grounds.)

And to even say you like ambessa but not caitlyn & vi just feels embarrassing and you definitely missed the mark. People truly miss ambessa role in the entire season/series and it shows.

(i enjoy ambessa as a character but it's wild to see people try and tear down cait and or vi while praising ambessa in the same sentence. But this goes back to "we can handle evil characters but not good characters that do morally gray/bad things--which some of yall really need to have some introspection)

"Doing the wrong thing for the right reasons" there's literally a song IN THE SHOW with lyrics adjacent to this. No not verbatim, but it's basically right there. I'm convinced this person has not actually watched the show. There's no way. There is NO way.

"I'm not done with arcane" then idk, stfu and finish the damn show, if you feel the *narrative* is painting these actions as good that's a you problem. You do not know how to interpret the media in front of you. Because that's literally not what's happening.

Giving a character motives and reasons isn't justifying their actions or painting them as good. It's giving them a fleshed out story with emotions and said motives. Putting reason behind the actions. Not to mention this show is all about showing how people are complex, but you want to target caitlyn and vi for what?

Jinx targeted caitlyn literally because she was jealous and wanted vi to choose her over caitlyn. She wanted vi to shoot caitlyn. Caitlyn had personally done nothing to jinx. Jinx then killed 3 councilors, unprovoked.

So we can see how "targeting" a group of people for the actions of 1 is bad when it comes to caitlyn and vi, but we cannot say the same for jinx, or silco, or the likes??

(caitlyn strategically targeted chembarons and the shimmer cartel. Something ekko and the firelights were trying to do in s1. But everyone forgets that. Explaining and understanding what caitlyn did does not mean writing off her actions. But some of yall need to learn not to vilify her for doing what other characters wanted to do in the first place. She simply had the resources and means to do it. If a different character did it yall would not be so up in arms)

[rxqueenxgirl]

YOUR LIFE AS A ROCKSTAR!

if you want a reading more in depth you can massage me on private or you can know more about my paid readings here!

take a deep breath and pick a pile!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝟏.

your position - you're the singer. maybe even the leader image of the band. your voice brings the powerful and dreamy part of the band, thing your songs are famous for.

your band - I'm seeing lots of cruelty and cold-hearted vibes. Your band-mates are very strict about business and this is the image they have for everyone. The public sees you more as coworkers than best friends.

your reputation - you seem to be in a constant hiatus, you don't do interviews, you're very isolated for a famous rockstar.

your band's reputation - it seems like your band is respected in the industry for the sad memory it holds, maybe the death of a member while the band was peaking. the band is a "classic one", everyone knows it, everybody listens to it and everybody knows about the tragedy it brings. or it has been around the culture as a band you listen when you're sad or depressed, like deftones, even though the band doesn't intend it.

type of music - I'm seeing lots of imagine dragons here, also queen. songs about developing character, about struggles but with a fun/strong sound. your public will me mostly males.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝟐.

your position - you started the band so you're considered the leader, you most likely play the drums but can also sing. you decided to start a band as an enterprise, you searched for talents with a futuristic vision.

your band - your bandmates have a good chemistry but just don't get along well, maybe because they're all so talented that the amount of spotlight they get is not what they really deserve. I'm seeing some jealously, some members are more famous than others and it affects the friendship. so there's no harmony off stage.

your reputation - you are seen as a king/queen lol. the current best in your genre, you have a sharp mind, know how to take what you need from the industry in order to get money and fame. you are famous even for people who don't know you or your band, they just know you have a successful reputation.

your band's reputation - the band's seen as the type of band you listen to when you're having an existential crisis. you have no haters at all, is like you're not on mainstream enough to cause a debate like that, also your fans are chill.

type of music - definitely indie rock, similar to radiohead and the smiths, with melancholic instrumental and depressing lyrics. the music brings lots of introspection and philosophical questions.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝟑.

your position - you don't have a fixed position, you might be a guitarrist, a bassist or a vocalist, it really depends at what pace the band is. and you're kind of the "underrated" member, you do the most yet don't get the attention you deserve, but I think it's because you don't have the same charisma as the other members.

your band - they hate you lol they envy you and they kicked you out, I'm sorry. nevertheless, the environment of they created was never good, they weren't good people anyways and as soon as you left the fans could tell the quality decayed. the band had this "chaotic" energy, which was actually just how mean they were.

your reputation - you are famous as a solo artist, and your suffering in the hands of your ex-bandmates still haunts your career. the media notices how you turned cold once you left and claim you seek revenge, now this is up to debate, but you're definitely turning things around and starting your own empire. you're viewed as a pioneer on the genre, if someone is new in this industry their dream is to collaborate with you. you might even be seen as crazy or bitter for not taking people's shit to your face, but you have lots of people who support you.

your band's reputation - regardless of all chaos your band is still legendary, it is the type of band that marked a generation. the band was ahead of its time and was definitely a culture reset. a niche/non-famous genre turned mainstream because of your band and the members are still revered for their work, as much as you are. people would wear the clothes style, copy the make-up and everything. I'm seeing your band did lots of artistic makeup.

type of music - EMO!!! (I kept thinking of my chemical romance as soon as I turned the first tarot card). it's leaning more towards pop emo or pop punk, but it's definitely full of energy and loud.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝟒

your position - you're the hot bassist, no discussion. compared to your bandmates you're the chill one, but good god!! people can't keep their chill around you because you're so attractive

your band - they're about that rock and roll life. sex, drugs and money all the way. you're buddies and have fun together, but the more fame you get the crazier this friendship gets, they start to be inconsequential.

your reputation - as I said, you're the chill one. and to both your bandmates and outsiders you look tired of that lifestyle. you're often portraited as the mature one, they think you're down to earth and the band's energy worns you out. they think you don't have confidence too. you look like you want to quit this mess.

your band's reputation - y'all don't have the best reputation among the media lol. so full of debts because of irresponsibility, no etiquette infront of cameras, no respect for whoever crosses your path, egoistic and everything. but you're famous regardless, even your fans alleged that but they don't really care. your band is seen as the crazy people that get attention wherever they go.

type of music - classic rock, hard rock, whatever it takes for you to get half-naked and smoke on stage. the songs are actually bangers and the members master their instruments so it's just pure rock and roll when they're performing, they don't follow the right chords and tabs they just improvise in the heat of the moment.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝟓.

your position - you're the singer. you don't play any instruments in the band, so you're dependent to that position. you're the frontman/frontwoman which is complicated because you're very shy and insecure (like hope sandoval or alex turner in the first years of band), but the public still adores you, you have a sweet unique voice (like hope sandoval or alex turner in the first years of band).

your band - it started as a garage band with your mates this got stuck as the energy of the band as a whole: just friends who like to play music and have fun together.

your reputation - the world sees you as dreamy, they think you have amazing ideas, your voice is so soft-spoken that whatever comes out of your mouth becomes cool. they think you're full of joy despite your timidness, you're their "favorite girl/boy" because you're cute, talented and mostly unproblematic.

your band's reputation - "started from the bottom and now we're here" is what people think of when the band's name is mentioned. the band had a simple start but after so many hardwork it got where it's today. also I'm seeing you pioneer a niche genre for being one of the firsts (and bc it is so niche it had like just other 5 artists around the scene).

type of music - I'm seeing grunge and beach rock, like some crazy combination or expecific sound like midwest emo. the lyrics are mostly abstract with no meaning displayed to the face, the instrumental is slow and made by pedals.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝟔.

your position - you are part of a duo, so you're singing and probably play all the instruments you need to get things done.

your band - the band is actually a project of big artists. they are famous being solo or as part of another band, but friendship brings them together occasionally. so the band is actually "a side project" (like boygenius and the last shadow muppets) that works so well it has more fame than most of the current scene.

your reputation - you're seen as apathetic and melancholic, maybe because of the type of music you bring to the table, maybe because of how you portrait yourself in public. people feel like you don't bring out a connection to them, like you lack charisma. they do respect you because you're no average artist, but you have been put inside the "sad girl/boy" archetype.

your band's reputation - lovebirds. that's it. they think you're in love with each other. there's an undeniable chemistry going on between you two on many ways: the way you perform together, the way your talents complete each other, the way you laugh at internal jokes on interviews...

type of music - synth punk or pop rock, something that stands out. the lyrics are not necessarily meaningful because the songs are the type to dance and headbang to. it's definitely the type of music everybody else listens to and becomes an instant classic.

[seasaltmemories]

Top AMVs of 2024 - 10-1

A more in-depth breakdown of what I am doing can be found here, as well as the past entries here. Today’s entries are as follows:

10. Maybe the Real Friends Were the Dungeons We Ate Along the Way by Moonpie AMVs

Audio: Friends by Flight of the Concords

Visuals: Dungeon Meshi

Considering our hobby is all about timing visuals with music, I am surprised that when it comes to comedy amvs, I don’t see many discussions about comedic timing. And well if you were wanting a cool breakdown of how the two work, I can’t really give it either, but Moonpie’s work here might be just as good teacher.

In comparison to other comedy amvs I have discussed, this one isn’t really going for big laugh out loud moments as opposed to a generally goofy and lighthearted atmosphere. But considering the breezy pace of the song, it really works to keep the jokes coming and the actual flow not to get bogged down as well. Reaction shots like at 0:51 and 1:24 do a lot to help sell punchlines/add to the humor without worrying about getting in the weeds of literal lyric sync, and overall by the end it is still able to sell you on the sweetness of the group’s friendship, all shenanigans aside. And while I don’t read/watch the series, it is really nice to get reminded that these guys like each other.

9: He’s a Zombie by TheLazyDaze

Audio: Good Grief by Bastille

Visuals: When Sato-kun Died

And here we get to the last summer mmv exchange vid, the gift I personally received. If you forgot this list wasn’t extremely biased, now is a good reminder, but even if Daze wasn’t editing with one of my “titular dead bf” mangas, there is a lot to love.

She’s always been an excellent mmv editor, but this vid in particular is packed with so many great details. The foot sliding into the panel at 0:23, the hand animation at 1:08, the undressing animation at 1:29. I could list more, but you’re probably just better off reading my original youtube comment.

Funny enough I wasn’t a big fan of this song before this vid (although I generally like Bastille). But in the end it is such a great match for the series blend of slice of life and drama. There’s lingering sadness over the fact that he really *is* a zombie, but more time is spent showing what will be missed and enjoying the good memories they do have.

8. The Amazon by PieandBeer (CW: Gore & Nudity)

Audio: Brazil by Declan Mckenna

Visuals: Devilman Crybaby

The first time I watched this vid, I was certain it wasn’t going to work. The breezy guitars are tonally far from what I associate with Devilman Crybaby; however as I got past the instrumental opening, I found the visual rhythm of the vid too intentional not to get into. The vid was less dissonant than I anticipated, but instead contained a surprising amount of resonance.

This might be one of the more obtuse vids on this list. Even with knowledge of the source material and a full read-through of the lyrics on Genius, it is hard to summarize this vid down to one pithy sentence. As disillusioned as the lyrics are and and as intense as the violence is on screen, whenever we cut back to just the two leads, their tenderness is so sweet it hurts. It feels like a bit of a ink blot test where how you interpret it has more to do with what you bring to it, and for me it just invokes this feeling where you know the relationship with someone is done, yet you can’t help but keep reaching out to them. If you like your vids moody and introspective like me, I think there is a lot to enjoy unpacking here.

7. DO YOU WANT TO FUCK A GOOSE OR NOT? by keiichiface

Audio: My Brother My Brother and Me

Visuals: Princess Tutu, Lucky Star

Listen I ship the dude and the “goose” of Princess Tutu so I was gonna be a fan regardless but keiichiface went above and beyond to elevate the audio. Just combining the two sources already adds a lot. By going literal with a talk show totally outside the world of this man and his love affair with a water fowl, there is a expressive lip sync and that meta element to play with. And even when she is working with Princess Tutu footage itself, keiichiface keeps finding creative things to do. I especially love when the concept art gets brought hastily masked in for some ultra specific lyric sync. The rough edges only add to the charm, giving it a quirky vibe without detaching from the more impressive technical elements.

All types of art deserved to be celebrated. Even if there’s isn’t a lot meaningful or deep I can extrapolate about goosefucking in particular, there’s no denying that when it comes to shitposts, keiichiface is a master of the craft.

6. Our Neighborhood Has Changed by Obsidian Zero

Audio: Souvenir by The Midnight

Visuals: Kimba the White Lion

As much I love my sad stories, I am rarely the type to cry over something fictional. So out of all the vids I expected to work past my defenses, I didn’t expect it to be a Kimba vid. Still Obsidian Zero finds incredible emotional material by soundtracking a story of pouching and ecological destruction with nostalgic yearning for a past that cannot be returned to.

There’s a specific element of powerlessness this amv taps into that is really palpable. Similar to ctrl alt delete, we end on a moment of denied catharsis. It’s not a matter of mourning and moving on from one death or loss, but grief by a thousand paper cuts and loneliness that’s much more difficult to process. Add that in with great moments like Kimba swimming to the opening guitar riffs and or the impeccable gun sync, and you got a little lion that leaves a large impact.

5. Catch and Release by BecauseImBored1

Audio: Houdini by Dua Lipa

Visuals: Saint Tail

This is the platonic ideal of a lot of what I look for in amvs tbh. I will always love it when an editor takes a song I might have heard but not given much thought to, pairs it with a combo that, in retrospect, feels like it was made for, and then wraps up the entire package with tight flow and clever sync. The trick is more difficult to pull off then I make it sound, but BecauseImBored is honestly a pro at this exact thing.

If I had to describe this vid in one word I’d go with “bouncy.” There’s a lot of attention given to the specific vocal inflections of Dua Lipa’s voice for a lot of fun moments of sync. And thanks to that tight control of the vid’s flow from scene to scene, it is easy to get swept up in the excitement and miss some of the subtle overlays and masked transitions BecauseImBored1 has under her sleeve. All in all, just every shot of this is delightfully paced to the point you’re left satisified by the end of the vid and yet are still itching to press replay again.

4. AND YOU CAN’T COME by Troubleclef (CW: Sexual Grooming)

Audio: Harder to Kill by Carter Vail

Visuals: Chainsaw man

Juggling multiple tones in a video is a tricky task. Most songs aren’t full stories and are more snapshots of one idea. And even when you get in the 5 minute + range, that is still not that much time in the grand scheme of things to establish set up, payoff and then repeat the process all over again when you pivot to a new topic.

1:33-1:46 alone is an amazing sequence, condensing a lot of harsh and heavy storytelling down to just enough implication to make out what it is happening in between shots. I consider it to be this vid’s best part but what makes it such an effective bridge is what it is sandwiched between. The first half of the vid is light-hearted and boyish, concerned just as much with heartbreak as it is food and fun. But even after the turn, we’re still left with this grasping incomplete understanding of the situation. As Denji whirls around from building to building and we cut between grasping hands and looming eyes, it feels as if he is trying to put the pieces together, but can only get so far. The final section of the song, where the vid gets its title from is equally childish, but it fully captures this inability to fully process the horrors you are currently going through, even as you are feeling the full effects of it.

3. The Keeper by Elixir

Audio: The Keeper by Kai Wachi

Visuals: Jujutsu Kaisen

I had a friend who was curious why more vids didn’t use rap. And while I had my personal theories from my corner about how much was due to only looking in certain corners of the community and how much was other facts, this vid is probably the best argument for what the rest of us might be missing out on.

Going back to my “sum up a vid into one word” challenge, the one I would use here is intense. Not only does Elixir lean into the horror-influenced elements of JJK, but the song itself is full of all sorts of unnerving musical motifs that adds to the oppressive atmosphere. By the end of my first viewing, I had to take a deep breath just to release all he tension that had been building up. However even on a less visceral rewatch, there are so many great moments. Elixir uses a lot of fun internal sync for the standout sounds like the drill noise or screams. I love the focus on close-combat when the flow switches up at 1:36.

Overall the vid is like a great horror movie. Even when you know what jump-scares are coming, everything is set-up and executed so well you can appreciate them on both an emotional and intellectual level.

2: Disco Expansion: Infinite Rizz by Ileia

Audio: Feels Like by Outasight

Visuals: Jujutsu Kaisen

And now for something completely different. To steal a joke from someone much funnier than me.

This vid dropped early in the year, but after seeing it I was already convinced this was gonna be one of my faves for 2024. Ileia’s flow is consistently slick and engaging, no matter the genre or subject matter, but centering a vid around Gojo’s new and invented disco powers gave her a lot more opportunities to get flashy with her tech work. All the overlays are great, my fave being the sound wave lengths at 0:28 and 0:31, but the transitions at 1:22 and 1:28 are no slouches either.

In contrast to The Keeper, here the horror elements are used cheekily. Some of the scene selection feels handpicked to cause physic damage to fans of the series, but even without context, it is hard to miss the punchline of heads rolling perfectly on beat. My fave moment has to be when Toji comes up and starts to sing along/fight. It just encapsulates how this vid keeps the perfect amount of goofy energy going without sacrificing a lick of its explosive momentum.

1: Velodrome by sandelwoodbox

Audio: Veldrome by Dessa

Visuals: Silo

My love for amvs and art as a whole tends to come from a love for character and narrative, the idea of narrowing a focus down to something direct and intentional. Even when I know there is no way for an outsider to get what is going on, I always strive to at least include some level of internal logic and progression for myself. Which is why I find myself to a certain degree to be even more drawn to vids that go in the opposite direction, that not only embrace that wider broad focus, but still maintain thematic cohesion.

More than any one character, Velodrome profiles an entire alternative society. While familiar faces pop up several times, no one voice or perspective stands out. Instead the lives of scientists, blue collar laborers, and children all weave together to paint a picture of place as beautiful as it is horrifying. The stairs that boys and girls slide down are the same stairs men fall to their death (a striking motif that syncs with nature fall of the singer’s inflection.) Most dystopian art focus on their attention on the injustice, the evil that consumes a place, but sandelwoodbox takes the time to show that a deeply wrong world can be one that still contains so much joy. And furthermore this fact only heightens why the injustice is so perverse in the first place. Even under amidst suffering, people continue to live, fight, and love. The editing carries that same restless energy, never truly coming to a still until the final shot.

As much as I love art, I don’t like acting like my tastes have to mean something. But if I have to wrap this up with a bow, Velodrome embodies both the sum of any work’s parts and the parts itself deserve equal love and attention.

~

Thanks for sticking around through my list and going on this new venture with me. A playlist containing all this vids, from number 1 to my honorable mentions can be found here. Looking forward to another year of great amvs!

[brujawrites]

✧ ˚ · . 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 — 

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: "𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞," | masterlist | next chapter

contains: suguru x female reader, shoko ieri, college au, modern setting, college!suguru, english major!suguru, pining, slow burn, inspired by lana del rey lyrics, 18+ ONLY MDNI

synopsis: meet reader! see how suguru and reader's paths have crossed before and why we're especially excited to see him in class this final semester. chapter 1 of a series so there's alot of background being set up!! ao3 - kofi - playlist - pinterest

"sometimes I feel like i've got a war in my mind, I wanna get off but I keep riding the ride, I never really noticed that I had to decide to play someone's game, or live my own life -- and now I do. I wanna move out of the black, into the blue,"

— "Get Free", Lana Del Rey

Suguru Geto was so cool to you. He just exudes an air of captivating mystery, a quality that draws you in. You found a reflection of yourself in him — the curious, introspective soul that found joy in dissecting and analyzing literature and movies for the sheer pleasure of finding a deeper meaning in art. This was a stark contrast to the persona you currently inhabited. Ever since you got everything you thought you wanted by joining the sorority, there’s this “hot girl” facade you’ve been keeping up. You had to, at least you tell yourself that. Being Vice President of the sorority, the hair and nail appointments every couple weeks, the packed schedule every single week, consumed by obligations at work, for the sorority, date functions, or mixers with fraternities — it was everything you thought you wanted. 

The past two years had been hard in an unconventional way. You were suddenly best friends with over 60 girls, learning about what it meant to be a ‘sister’, navigating your academic life, new found social life, & trying to not fail miserably. 

Meeting Suguru in Spanish class two years ago may have actually been around the time things started to get overwhelming. The sight of him walking into the bustling lecture hall remains etched in your memory. His raven black hair gracefully framed his cheekbones, a striking contrast to his fatigued expression. He calmly looked around the room for a potential seat when his gaze suddenly met yours, his velvety dark eyes sending what felt like a jolt of electricity through you. Immediately, you looked away, intimidated by such abrupt intimacy. As the moment drifted away, you couldn’t help but steal more glances, mesmerized by the effortless allure of his hair half-tied, and admiring the contrast between his hair and the crisp white of his band tee. Your hungry eyes lingered on the sight of his strong, lightly tanned forearm, the muscles flexing as he set his bag on the ground in front of his feet. 

A small smirk played on your lips as the facts informed the fiction, aligning your romanticized narrative with reality — you liked him. You wanted him… right? It seemed like a recurring pattern, a new infatuation added to your roster each semester, you were starting to hate how your mind went to those places when looking at complete strangers. He settled into his seat a few rows ahead, to your right. The rest of the hour-long class went by as your attention wavered from the professor's lecture to the constant pings of the pledge class' group chat on your laptop, all while thoughts of this enigmatic boy swirled through your mind. What was it about him? Obviously, his looks played a role — he was undeniably attractive! But there was an unspoken allure about him that resonated with you. Something remarkably genuine.

He was attractive, but not like the frat boys you had started to learn — those confident, almost arrogantly charming boys supported by the rowdy group of self identified brothers. Suguru stood apart in that way, his demeanor stoic, shrouded in enigma. You, on the other hand, were no different than those frat boys. Donning your Greek letters, surrounded by sisters at parties or on campus, you exuded a confidence that was empowering. But when you’re all alone, face to face with a cute guy, maintaining prolonged eye contact feels like you’re in over your head. 

A twinge of disappointment grew inside you as the realization set in; you haven’t changed. You hadn’t felt the profound shift you had envisioned when justifying your sorority membership to friends back home. College was supposed to be a fresh start, a chance to compensate for feeling like a loser in high school. Encountering someone like Suguru served to remind your of your discomfort within your own skin, in your clothes. Despite this, you pressed on, going through the motions because you thought that was what would make you happy. You thought it was what you wanted. 

That concern quickly snowballed into a full-fledged personal identity crisis, intensifying by the time you were twenty-one. Everyone your age experienced that overwhelming anxiety about the trajectory life seemed to be going in, right? You were pretty aware that these insecurities stemmed from your less than wonderful experiences in grade school. The desire to be accepted, to belong, felt deceptively straightforward but in reality, it was complex. Seeking validation through association of status started to overshadow authentic connections, a realization that took two years to hit. Stepping down from the exhaustive responsibilities of the exec board of your sorority, a position that took way too much time and stress, you now craved a final semester dedicated to your genuine pleasure. No more putting on a facade, no more living for appearances. 

So, when you trudged through the cold, grey January air to your senior seminar to find three or four other students, you immediately slipped into your unnatural facade, feigning interest in your phone screen instead of others around you that actually held your interest. So much for not living up to appearances, you thought silently to yourself when he walked in. 

Suguru Geto. The name alone sent a jolt through you, so seeing him walk into the room sent a surge of excitement swiftly followed by a pang of panic. Today, he looked impeccable. His hair effortlessly framing his features, a brown flannel that accentuated out the deep hues in his eyes, paired with a white crewneck & off-white khakis. Simple, but something about it brought on a flush of warmth over your body. As he moved closer to your side of the classroom, the facade threatened to crumble. Buried in your phone, pretending to text your roommate, Utahime, just trying to avoid the prospect of awkward eye contact or embarrass yourself by speaking to him. 

Your attention is lifted from the screen when the desk in front of you starts to shift. Suguru stood before you, unfastening his backpack, meeting your gaze. You silently hoped your flushed cheeks weren’t betraying your emotions as you offered the boy a friendly grin. After all, the two of you knew each other. A soft smile grew on his lips before he turned away, settling into his seat before class.

Yeah, you think to yourself, recalling that you and Suguru had crossed paths before, that it wasn't a fantasy you made up. Last Spring you took that boring poetry theory class together. That professor was super strict & everyone in the class realized it at the same time when he revealed the daunting project: reconstructing a Wikipedia page for an ancient poem. You got a B for the midterm, Suguru got a D and was shocked to see your grade so much higher than his. “Everyone got a super low score,” you remember him rationalizing, a touch of defeat in his tone. There was nothing you could really say back to him thanks to the slight intimidation that comes from talking to someone so effortlessly cool. Handsome, even. 

“Yeah, I’m not entirely sure how I managed that score either. I didn’t really know what I was doing.” You admitted, not intending to mislead, but also recognizing you had no actual insight to give.

“I’m gonna call Shoko and see what she got. See ya later,” he waved before strolling over to the bike rack, phone already at his ear with Shoko on the dial. You tentatively wave back, feeling a peculiar sensation settling in your stomach. You noticed Shoko and Suguru in class together, but they’re dynamic never struck you as particularly flirtatious. They were definitely close though. It was funny for you to think back to the immense crush you had on him the spring semester one year before, only for fall semester to roll by — out of sight, out of mind. And then, there you were a year later.

The digital clock on the wall hit 9:30 right as the professor entered, exchanging morning greetings before setting up the projector. The first class of your last semester is starting now, causing a subtle flutter in your stomach. It was surreal that just four years ago you got lost in this exact building during orientation week. You had experienced a myriad of changes within yourself since starting university. Why did you feel such shame about it? Because it’s not you, you quietly reasoned to yourself. As Suguru adjusted in his seat in front of you, his hair and big shoulders encroaching on your desk space, the subtle whiff of his black-cherry scented cologne served as a gentle reminder of your conundrum. 

Okay, so you’re into him.

This time, you silently told yourself, you’re actually going to do more to get to know him. Usually, your interest in men gravitates towards fraternity-affiliated boys, but after two years of mingling with them, nothing felt truly authentic, worthwhile, or genuine. Reflecting on the time an upperclassman in another sorority was gushing about her parents meeting through Greek life at a mixer — you could barely mask your dismay at the notion of finding a lifelong partner within that circle. Gradually, you learned to adapt to navigate those environments with copious amounts of alcohol among other substances. They served as a mask, veiling the disdain some of those young men would bring out in your expression. Their thoughtlessness with their dicks and carelessness with their words often left you repulsed and disheartened..

“Alright,” the disappointment in your professor’s voice snapped your attention back to the room. “Well, you were expected to have had that reading done for today’s discussion. Given that only two of you have actually taken the initiative of checking their emails before class, we’ll need to end early. Check your email for Thursday’s assignment as I’ll be sending it out briefly.” The sound of zipping bags and shuffling papers filled the room as the Professor’s words trailed off, students preparing to leave. Both you and Suguru remained seated, attentive. Hot, you thought. A man with respect for women speaking. “Thursday’s discussion will cover today’s missed discussion along with the planned agenda for our second meeting. See you then.”

She nodded briefly in your direction, and a faint warmth spread across your cheeks from the unexpected attention. Only two of you completed the reading? That caught your curiosity, and it seemed Suguru shared that sentiment. Pivoting in his seat to face you, his grin returning with your flush. “Hey,” his voice, smooth and gentle, made the corners of your mouth instinctively curve upwards. 

“Hi,” you replied with a playful smirk, casually tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Did you do the reading?” Suguru’s voice lowered, his gaze discreetly scanning a few classmates nearby. You responded with a nod and a soft giggle. 

“Did you?” You teased back, your own voice barely above a whisper. You felt like jelly when he rewarded you with a chuckle. Oh man, you thought silently.

“Yeah, I did. It’s just... none of it really made sense. Wondering if you might have some notes or something you could share,” he admitted as you both gathered your belongings, preparing to leave. You suddenly felt self conscious about your outfit, conscious of his attention. You and Suguru were unintentionally matched with your puffy, white turtleneck and shades of brown from your plaid mini skirt complementing his flannel. The leather knee high riding boots didn’t exactly match his black Converse in style, but certainly in color — you just worried it was too… girly. You hoped he wouldn’t write you off for your affiliation to Greek life. 

“Um, I did read it, but I have a bit of a weird approach... Do you have a class next or are you free for a bit?” the words spilled out before you could second guess yourself. Yes, keep going, you urged yourself silently as you led the conversation with Suguru into the hall. He can’t make assumptions without knowing you, you reminded yourself. He nodded agreeably, indicating he had some time to spare, then suggested grabbing a table at the coffee shop near campus. As you exited the building together, you decided it was time to let him see the real you. 

[oceansarepink]

I wouldn't blame anyone for finding Look My Way too Stolas-sympathetic and weepy but honestly I think on the whole it's way better than most of the songs he gets in the show

and that's because it actually has a narrative arc to it. Stolas reflects on his life, realizes he is the problem between him and Blitzo, actually shows some empathy for the armor Blitzo has developed as a result of being impoverished, then decides on an action: making amends for making Blitzo a means to an end. and it retains his original classist character by having the impish plaything line that the show whitewashed over

it still has the same problem anything Stolas related does in that it's hard to care about his repeated pleas for Blitzo to look his way, but it's a far more concise view of him as a character and crucially he actually shows some ability to self reflect in it and then take action based on his conclusions

ParanoidDJ released the original after ep6 but honestly it would fit perfectly in the show after ep7, where Stolas comes back in from the party. instead of getting drunk, maybe he stops and makes himself think about where things went wrong

instead the songs he has in the show are

Stolas Sings - immediately implies Blitzo lied to him, so no self reflection or introspection. It's set up he'll go to get a crystal but that isn't referenced in the lyrics, it's just a split second freeze frame when he chucks his book into view of the camera which is bad storytelling. It's all self focused self pity - he's the victim and that's that. no sign of care for what he's done to Blitzo or Via unlike Look My Way.

All 2 U - a breakup reflection where he does no self reflection or introspection. blames Blitzo for stuff he did (let him get too close/go on too long/fell too far). all self focused self pity - he's the victim and that's that

duet number - does say he maybe did something wrong, but it only counts if Blitzo didn't actually want him (then when Blitzo confirms that, he proceeds to...show no self reflection or introspection - just he's the victim and that's that, you get the idea)

the show numbers not only fail to move the plot forward, they don't move Stolas' character forward at all. Look My Way really sticks out as one of his numbers because it's basically the only one where he does explicitly say 'I'm in the wrong and need to fix things' where in the show it's always 'maybe I did something wrong, maybe, but you hurt me so you're more wrong and I'm putting off doing any self reflection on what my issues are until Tuesday - when I'll put it off again'.

he's far more proactive in LMW too - he doesn't sound like he'll just give up on making amends at the first failure. meanwhile Show Stolas has done only two proactive things when it comes to Blitzo onscreen: making the deal and breaking the deal. both things were done for his own benefit and he's now back to being passive and expecting Blitzo to be the one to come crawling back to court him even though Blitzo has every reason to think he moved on with the succubus dude to spite him in particular

This moment here

It wasn’t him feeling some guilt/remorse for how obnoxious and forceful he behaved, or sympathy for Blitzs unhappiness. He is thinking “Aww….he doesn’t love me, that makes me so sad. Poor me. I deserve love. I just want a lover.”

Well anon, the simple explanation LMW stolas is so different…..is, Vivienne/Sam Haft didn’t write that. They both do think stolas is the more innocent and more victimised party. That’s why before Full Moons confrontation, stolas has sung not one, not two but three sad ballads about his soft boy romantic feelings. And it’s why stolas’ personality was changed drastically between his nasty truth seekers self to his Ozzies bleeding heart self. To make you forget his 1-6 self ever happened and pity him.

While blitz was only allowed to smirk and make sex jokes in a verse of stolas’ third sad song. With the intent of making him look like the “real” pervert with a cold black heart. His verse in when I see him was intended by Sam to set up “that your first instinct is that it’s always (gasp) about sex (closes eyes solemnly)” line. Stolas is allowed to have an inner monologue, desires, worries, regrets and hopes. Blitz is only allowed say “fuck” “penis” and “im traumatised”** with an asterisk saying that makes him an asshole and not “baby” stolas’ fault. Spoken to you in apology tour dialogue delivered by the lovely: Vivienne Mayday aka Verosika Medrano.

Viv didn’t write look my way, and disagrees with the narrative.

She hates Octavia for not being more grateful to her father and thinks stolas deserves to be free from being her parent. So took his line about her out of the song. Twitter emboldened her to go through with this belief. So she took her line out of LMW.

She hates blitz for disliking upper classes, implies he’s “just like a supremacist” against princes for it. I think this also came from Twitter. You are NOT allowed to point out the racism of stolas or you’ll be branded a striker sympathiser.

She agrees with stolas fans that the real reason blitz doesn’t trust stolas’ gifts with no catch is nothing to do with stolas’ previous exploitative transactional actions….it is….because of his own mean imp father? Because Cash taught him love is transaction. A very convenient excuse Viv absorbed again, from Twitter and YouTube.

Cuz….it was cash. Not the sexual extorter who held his job over his head. That’s his soulmate cause owls only mate once via eye contact and die of broken hearts if they can’t have their mate forever. His 25 year long lust for someone he only knew as a child isn’t weird at all wdym. In fact all the bad stuff is Blitzs fault.

She absorbed all of this nonsense from Twitter takes, specifically the stolas stans, because she thinks putting fandom talking points into canon is a safe bet. The actual story is out the window, there isn’t one.

See how letting the stolas fandom twitter write your story for you makes for a biased fucked up victim blaming story that coddles a sexual abuser with “involuntarily celibate” arguments?

When she makes stolas reflect and take accountability, the reaction she wants you to have is “Poor baby stolas blames himself which shows what a good little boy he is! Even though nothing is ever his fault!” She just wanted to make money off of someone else’s work.

[inkedbydave]

MY HEADCANONS ON THE TDA CHARACTER'S MUSIC TASTE :3

Part I - Julian, Emma, Ty, Kit, Dru and Livvy

(comment if you want to see me do a part II or one with characters from TMI cuz I'm not sure I will do it by myself if no one's interested in it, i just had to get these out of my head)

Julian Blackthorn: I think Julian would gravitate toward grunge and nu-metal because of their raw emotion and intensity. He’s constantly under pressure and carries a lot of emotional weight, so bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Alice in Chains would resonate with his introspection and struggles. He’d also appreciate the angsty energy of Linkin Park and the chaotic rebellion of Sex Pistols(this one is basically canon with that one official drawing from SoBH).

Some examples: Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden, Alive by Pearl Jam, In The End by Linkin Park, No Feelings by Sex Pistols

Emma Carstairs: Emma would absolutely be into The Neighbourhood and Mitski, both of which balance emotional depth with moody, atmospheric vibes. Her complex emotions and fiery personality would also resonate with Lana Del Rey and Arctic Monkeys, blending longing with intensity. For her more energetic side, she might love Halsey or Wolf Alice, both of whom bring fierce energy and emotional vulnerability. But she also loves the heavier genres that Julian listens to, it's just that she never listens to it by herself but she absolutely sings along with Julian

Some examples: Your Best American Girl by Mitski, Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood, Ribs by Lorde, When We're High by LP

Ty Blackthorn: Okay it's canon that he likes classical music but hear me out on this one: Ty would appreciate intricate, atmospheric and melodic music that aligns with his analytical and introspective nature. In my opinion he would absolutely love bands like Radiohead, Modern Baseball and The Front bottoms. Probably Sufjan Steven and Elliott Smith too. On darker days maybe something like Nine Inch Nails (I'm sorry about this one, but i can honestly imagine that and I won't elaborate) Dare of me to say that but he would probably grow to love midwest emo and indie rock after Kit introduces him to more genres.

Some examples: Hurt by Nine Inch Nails, No Surprises by Radiohead, Be Nice to Me by The Front Bottoms, Say Yes by Elliot Smith

Kit Herondale: I think he is into all kinds of music. But i just know he is a HUGE Troye Sivan stan (his absolute faves are "Bloom" and "Angel Baby" and "FOOLS" would be his anthem probably). So from gay pop and Taylor Swift to classic rock like Fleetwood Mac or Queen basically anything. He’d love emotional, atmospheric tracks from artists like Frank Ocean, Phoebe Bridgers, and SZA, alongside high-energy hits from Dua Lipa or The Weeknd. He’d even dip into lo-fi hip-hop or experimental indie on his more introspective days. Also it was him who introduced Ty to Radiohead and American Football and there was no stopping the other boy from there.

Some examples: White Ferrari by Frank Ocean, Somebody Else by The 1975, Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift, Starboy by the Weeknd

Livvy Blackthorn: She's such a pop girly. I just know Livvy would definitely vibe with Taylor Swift, especially her more storytelling-focused and emotional eras like Red and Folklore. She’d also adore pop artists like Chappell Roan and Lorde for their relatable and heartfelt lyrics. Livvy’s love of life (i'm not crying, you're crying) and curiosity about the world would make her lean toward empowering and introspective pop.

Some examples: Never Really Over by Katy Perry, My Kink Is Karma by Chappell Roan, Youngblood by 5 Seconds of Summers, Colors by Halsey

Dru Blackthorn: Dru would fully embrace goth and emo subcultures. She’d be obsessed with Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Birthday Massacre, and maybe some newer acts like Pale Waves. Probably also bands like My Chemical Romance or Evanescence. For her horror-loving side, industrial metal like Rammstein or Marilyn Manson would appeal to her aesthetic.

Some examples: Spellbound by Siouxise and the Banshees, Cry Little Sister by Gerard McMahon, Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division, Dead Can Dance by The Host of Seraphim, Helena by My Chemical Romance

pls hype me up i went way out of my comfort zone to make this, i never ever listen to pop music or music outside my comfort genres which are grunge, goth, punk and emo (it probably shows *sigh*) and i had to listen to rap, industrial, pop and anything else you can imagine for DAYS to have a general idea on the most popular artists in that field.

On the bright side i discovered that i actually vibe with Troye Sivan's older music, it speaks to my love sick gay little soul

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG SUB] Bojan Cvjetićanin on Radio Sova (13.11.2024).

In this interview, Bojan talks about the new album ‘Souvenir Pop' and answers some questions fans asked.

Transcript, translation and subtitles by IG marija_rocen, @moonlvster and IG irenalemajic, proofread by IG GBoleyn123.

Full video and transcript below the cut👇

Host: Dear listeners, it's 8:30 p.m., you're listening to Radio Sova, a student-run show on Radio Rijeka. As we announced earlier, on the phone with us today is Bojan Cvjetićanin, the frontman of the popular Slovenian band Joker Out. Bojan, good evening and welcome.

Bojan: Good evening, thank you.

This week is a big week for Joker Out, in a little over 48 hours your new third studio album 'Souvenir Pop' comes out. I bet you're excited, but are you nervous about how your fans, and also the general public, will react to the album?

I have to admit that I am, I'm a little nervous. When you're releasing an album, I think it feels like the first time. So, even though it's our third one, let's say it's the first one this year and I'm nervous to the max.

The album is called 'Souvenir Pop'. Why that name and what does it represent?

You know, this year and a half since Eurovision ended has been really, like, interesting, to say the least. And a lot of things happened to us, a lot of new people, a lot of new places, feelings. So all of those things we brought home instead of fridge magnets, let's say, those are our souvenirs. So we said that 'Souvenir Pop' is kind of the name that best encompasses everything that happened in that period.

One of the songs on your newest album is 'Carpe Diem', the song with which you represented Slovenia at Eurovision in 2023 and the song which, you could say, opened a lot of doors for you. Your popularity has expanded from our region to Europe, but also to the entire world, which was confirmed by many sold out concerts around Europe. How much did the fact that you spent almost the entire last year and the start of this year on tour influence the creative process of creating the new album? How different was it to write and record 'Souvenir Pop' from 'Umazane misli' and 'Demoni'

Quite different. We had limited time in the studio for the first time and it was very clear in that period we had to finish the album and in that period I was writing, more or less. It was also interesting to me to think introspectively about how, in a certain period, I have to put all my thoughts into songs because I'm honestly quite a lazy author, so I don't create much throughout the year, so, to create more or less everything in that certain period while we were in the studio, was a bit hectic and tiring, but in the end I'm very satisfied with everything that happened.

What does it look like when you're in the studio? That is, what does your creative process look like? When you write the lyrics, how do you balance between personal experiences and universal ones? Do you think about what the audience will say and how the audience will experience a certain song or do you write entirely from your point of view regardless of everything else?

When it comes to writing songs, I write more or less entirely introspectively or retrospectively if I see that I’m trying to find myself in the story of someone else I know and whose feelings I want to take on and write about in a song. As for the creative process, it really depends on the song, some songs come about when I come up with the lyrics and the melody, some songs come out of a jam, from the band’s improvisation. So, there's a lot of playing, a lot of playing and it more or less looks like a playground, where everyone takes their own rakes and trucks and then we go on some kind of a trip, and try to get somewhere.

All artists draw inspiration from other artists. Is there maybe a musician or a book, a movie or a work of art that shaped you as an artist?

There are certainly quite a few musicians, I was more or less a big fan of bands from the former Yugoslavia. So, let's say, I was shaped a lot by them, I listened to a lot of Slovenian music. And as for international artists, we listened to the Beatles, Arctic Monkeys, ABBA a lot, so I think that as a band they are our mutual idols. And from our region, Indexi, Bijelo dugme, and a lot of pop, Zdravko Čolić, Toše Proeski… I mean, everything, everything, everything.

How important is experimenting in music to you, is there any musical risk you wanted to take, but you didn't have the courage or opportunity yet?

I think we experiment a lot as far as our band is concerned, at least within what we can do and what we know. I would certainly like to go down some other musical paths, but I believe that there will be some time for that as well. I don't know, right now I have a trumpet in front of me, so maybe the next album will be a trumpet solo, if my trumpet teacher allows me.

It's time for a short musical break, we will listen to the song 'Bluza.' Bojan, for everyone who hasn't heard 'Bluza' before, maybe it's best for you to introduce it?

'Bluza' is… well, 'Bluza' is lost, found and lost love in just one moment. I wrote it with a story about a kafana¹, where, let's say, I saw something that could exist, but never did, so it's for all found and lost loves in one moment that's 'Bluza'. Radio Rijeka.

¹Kafana is a distinct type of local bistro, common in some former Yugoslav countries, which primarily serves alcoholic beverages and coffee, and often also light snacks.

That was 'Bluza' by Joker Out, their frontman has joined us over the phone. Your new album comes out this Friday, and all your fans will have the chance to hear it on your album release tour, during which you’ll be performing all over the Balkans, but also beyond, so on the 3rd of December you're coming to Croatia as well, precisely, to Zagreb. How did you decide where to present your new album?

Well, you know, we spent a year and a half playing exclusively around Europe, more or less, and we weren’t present that much in the Balkans. We truly see the Balkan region as a concert at home, so at the end of the year, and for this album, we decided we wanted to feel like we're at home, which is why we have chosen those main cities, let's say, which are closest to us for this first round. I think the choice was very logical and very quick.

What can your fans who have decided to be a part of the album release tour expect? Will you perform some of your old songs or are these concerts meant exclusively for 'Souvenir Pop'?

No, of course, we'll play songs from all three albums, but we'll probably play the whole of 'Souvenir Pop' only on this tour, which means all ten songs, because later, when we make setlists, I doubt we’ll end up putting all ten songs on the same one. So, if people want to hear it from start to finish, this is their chance.

Last year you also had a fantastic concert in Rijeka which made a strong impression on the audience. How do you remember your first concert in Rijeka, and do you plan to perform here again sometime soon?

The concert in Rijeka was awesome, because many of our musical colleagues, who are a bit older than us, talked about Rijeka as sort of, how can I say this, concert treasure for musicians, because the audience is always really cool, and it truly was like that. The concert was awesome, and later in the backstage, we were joined by the members of the band… Oh, what's their name, "šč², mama šč, mama šč kupila traktora…"

²'Mama ŠČ!' is the song of the punk-rock band Let 3 from Rijeka. They represented Croatia at Eurovision in 2023. The English translation would be: "Šč, mom šč, mom šč, mom bought a tractor".

Let 3.

Let 3, Let 3, Let 3! So, we met for the first time after Eurovision, and it was really great.

So, you agree with everyone who says that our audience in Rijeka is completely different from others?

It is! I'd say that it has a bit of a punk vibe, I really like that. Aside from being in Rijeka last year, you also travelled, as you mentioned, all around Europe after your big success at Eurovision. Joker Out went on a grand tour and you certainly felt a huge growth in popularity. What did the transition from one intense experience to another one look like? What was the most challenging, and what was the most exciting thing when it comes to facing such a large and suddenly expanded audience?

Well, the biggest challenge was absolutely transportation. Even though we have a great crew and an excellent tour manager who organised everything, we were travelling last winter and it happened to us that four flights were cancelled during one night, so finding alternative options - buses, trains, and so on, that was really chaotic, because we had to make it on time for all our concerts. You know how it is - one night you're playing in Germany, the next in Poland and you have to show up, you simply have to, we were ready to run if necessary. But in the end everything went well.

I hope that you won't have similar problems on this tour.

We marathon runners³ will run the final lap maybe.

³'Maratonci trče počasni krug' - The Marathon Family (lit. Marathon Runners Do a Lap of Honour) is a 1982 Yugoslav black comedy film and it is regarded as one of the classics of Yugoslav Serbian cinematography. The story takes place in a small Serbian town in 1935, and focuses on the Topalović family, consisting of six generations of undertakers with a dark secret.

Let's go for another musical break, we'll listen to the song 'Stephanie'.

That was ‘Stephanie’ by Joker Out, whose frontman has joined us over the phone. In this part of the interview, Bojan, we have questions for you which your fans asked us on Instagram. I want to thank everyone who asked their questions. There were over 60 questions, and there was a wide variety of them and they were all great, but unfortunately I can't ask them all, so I chose some of them. I also apologise for any mispronounced usernames. Bojan, are you ready?

I'm ready.

@/talvikoira asked: What song was the last to be completed in the new album and why?

'Mesto duhov' ('City of Ghosts'). Because it was originally written in English, it was called 'Wembury Mews' and I decided to write it in Slovenian because I had that story ready about the city of ghosts I returned to after the tour, so that was the last one.

@/milapongrats asks: What's your favourite album you've made so far?

My favorite album is definitely 'Souvenir Pop'.

@/anačepelkina asked: Did you ever have a creative burnout? If yes, then how did you overcome it?

Well, I think I feel some kind of creative burnout quite often but I wouldn't say it's exactly a burnout, but let's just say I feel a little empty. But honestly, then I just talk to people who are close to me, with people who inspire me, and very quickly things fall back into place.

@/trickme asks: What kind of books do you read? What are the last three books you read?

Well, I honestly like reading all sorts of books, but the last thing I read was 'Kafka on the Shore' by Murakami. Then, I don't know what it's called, but in Slovenian it's 'Tuleči mlinar' ('The Howling Miller') by Arto Paasilinna, a Finnish author. And… How to…', I have no idea, something, How to Mend Your Mind,' or something like that.

@/GBoleyn123 asked: Do you like the interview/promo part of being a musician? What makes for a good interview?

I mean, I love doing interviews. The only part of interviews that I don't like is if I have to do them before singing, because I have to talk a lot and it exhausts me. For example, at Eurovision it was a terribly difficult part, because we had at least 40 interviews a day, and all the pressure is on you to sing your song as well as you can, so, yeah, it can sometimes be a bit tiring for a vocalist. And what makes a good interview? I don't know, good energy of the interviewer and good questions.

I hope this is one of those interviews.

Of course.

@/sara_gicevski asks: What is the most important promise or goal you made/set for yourself?

Huh! Well, I think that honestly I haven't really thought much about that and I don't promise myself many things, but I believe that once I promised myself that I would do what I believe in, that I wouldn’t create things I’m not 100% sure of and which aren’t 100% me, so there it is.

Finally, Bojan, what would you say to everyone who still doesn't have a ticket for your concert in Zagreb?

Well, to everyone who doesn't have a ticket for our concert in Zagreb I’d like to say that on the 3rd of December, December, right?

That's right.

On the 3rd of December we’re playing at Tvornica Kulture, we were there last year and it was phenomenal. We’re preparing our third album. It will be wonderful for us, so why shouldn't it be wonderful for you too, because it's more beautiful when we have a wonderful time together.

Bojan, thank you for the time you set aside for Radio Sova and we wish you good luck and a lot of success on Friday.

You as well, thank you very much.

[haus-of-wu]

MARK - The Firstfruit Album Review

The way this album has been such a long time coming and is so intentionally full of Mark's identity as an artist and an individual - let's dive in below the cut!

tldr; this album really is just. a gold mine. and just. so raw/personal in a way that i haven't experienced in a while. 1000 pts for mark lee asdfl;kajs

Toronto's Window

The way this was part of some earlier teaser video and I just assumed it was only for the concept trailer

Love the autobiographical narration and the acoustic introspective vibes

Really just sets the tone for the whole album <3

Also the shout-out to his parents :)

1999

God the opening strings on this are so good and I wish we had more of them

Suave, and just. Wonderful that the whole point of this song was to like, really cement Mark's brand for himself as a person and as a soloist.

Love the way the lyrics balance out using the English and Korean versions of (19)99 in a way that flows so naturally

Flight to NYC

The New Yorker in me was sniped by the NYC concept shoot, I am not immune (highly considering buying that version of the album :^) aha)

Lol at the bound for Newark flight announcement

Oh okay this is some dirty synth

there's also a JFK airport reference (laughs in LGA is left out bc nobody flies to seoul from LGA so it makes sense)

very much an album-specific transition song to move us to the next like. chunk of the album, but an interesting vibe nonetheless

Righteous

Oh wow is this the "i'm on two teams, deal with it" song

So NCT hip hop branded, so naturally it fits him

"2 bands that i represent" is really just echoing "2 baddies" a bit

Fraktsiya

ngl it took a while for this song to hit for me when it first came out. but now i get it.

the b&w vibes of the MV are niceee

this really is the fuck the haters track. finally looked up what fraktsiya meant and like. yeah. truly the "i'm on multiple units and i get lines bc i'm capable, fuck your nonsense"

ya know what. good for him. having this back to back with righteous makes so much sense

Raincouver

truly an homage to a nostalgic past time

love the bouncy piano here

oh, we love a good horn

has like. early mid 2010s vibes. which makes sense bc he's singing about middle school and he would've been that age during that time

Loser

Oh okay, guitar go off !! But also this melody sounds very familiar...

??? Interesting at why we chose to convert "I don't want to lose her/ya" to "I don't want a loser"

This feels like another one of those weird "sexy in the air"/"sex is in the air" intentional mispronunciations/lyric writings

But also maybe Mark is saying he himself is the loser bc the girl got away and he doesn't want himself?? anyways.

Watching TV

feat Crush ?? (singing "crush on you") oooooh

This wub wub is a futuristic vibe, this is a nice chic instrumental

The criminal references are kind of a nice setup into +82 pressin'

+82 Pressin'

Listen I was obsessed about this song and the MV concept from the beginning. SM hasn't done a super stylized movie concept in a while, and i'm in LOVE

The way I know everyone is going crazy over the lore in this MV

But the song itself. Is just such a fun beat. This has been on my repeats for quite a bit

brrum pum pum, drummer fiction, rhythm holic, we are here for it

Such a fun collab btwn these two, truly !!!

Given the other tracks in this album, having Haechan, the other member straddling two NCT units, do this with him, just makes soooo much sense

200

ah yes the spidermark MV from a while back

this fits so well with the other introspective tracks (toronto's window, raincouver), even if genre wise it's a little bit everywhere

it really does somehow encapsulate the spiderverse soundtrack sound/vibe though. like. insane

Journey Mercies

"is there a special place you want to go to?" "wherever you are"

ok damn we're hitting hard in the first few seconds of this

"i want you to hear me call your name" right before "i just want to hear you call my name" :') okay damn

Mark really fits the pensive yearning genre really well. Specifically the rainy day, moody type yearning. Which I've never really thought about for him before. but like. one of my favorite vibes

oooh the spoken rap in the middle, yes

"my life is in pieces, but you could always put it back together with your fragments" ????

mark the lyricist you are. what the actual FUCK

I honestly think this track is the hidden sniper for me. Like straight into my soul in a way that hurts so good

Mom's Interlude

Wow the home video / old tape recorder vibes that this conversation with his mom gives (on top of such a nice piano BGM)

god these album interludes for transitions are just CRAZY

ending it with "what did you eat for lunch today", like THE ultimate asian mom-ism. did you eat yet. are you healthy.

brb wailing

Too Much

"i'm so glad you love me" what a way to open a song

this is the thank you parents song that's gonna kill me inside isn't it

Oh the rap verse came out of nowhere wtf hi mark

Mark keeps sniping me with these emotional whiplash tracks. Dude please.

[daisyjonesgf]

I think Daisy seeing how Billy takes care of muse when Daisy has gotten her too high is interesting ngl

i love them all sm, and I definitely think it makes daisy a little more introspective about the situation and she understands it a little bit more.

like billy has no reservations about sticking his hands down your throat to help you throw up when you've had too much, helping you drink water, tilting your head back to help you swallow it. he knows how much you can handle and he gets you back on the track of what you're usually taking because daisy always manages to make the 3 lines you might take scattered throughout the day, 3 lines one right after the other with a bottle of champagne and a couple of beers right after and a joint.

when he's drugged up and so are you it's a completely different story, but when he's not high out of his mind he makes sure you're well taken care of and anything you say actually makes him think and feel guilty because it's so much more vulnerable.

"daisy, what the hell did you do?" he's got his hands on your face, looking at how insanely dilated your pupils have gotten.

"well, I don't know, we just kept going. it didn't feel like that big of a deal!"

"you're so irresponsible, daisy!"

"wanna sit down." the moment you say it he's helping you inside, had you on the couch.

"how much did you take, baby?"

"not enough, I said I wanted to go home. why are you here?"

"she didn't take you home and I'm glad she didn't-"

"daisy, I wanna go home." you rather unsuccessfully try to stand and billy's got you when you stumble.

"what is going on?" before daisy can chime in to answer billy, you have. because you're crying, daisy knows it's just you crying for the 100th time.

"I just want to go home, I'm sick of this. I just want to be loved, why don't you love me?"

there's a silence, a painful silence where billy is thinking, "we need to get you to throw some of this up."

and you're just crying harder because it proves something to you and daisy is just watching the chaos unfold. "I'm so stupid, just call me a taxi, I shouldn't be here."

"no, you're not gonna be alone." and you don't know know why you let him take you to the bathroom, why you let him help you throw up, why you let him get you a cup to wash out your mouth, or sit there on the bathroom floor with him. "I do love you, I just hate that you try to see me, all of me." Words whispered on the bathroom tiles before he's cleaning you up, convincing you to lay down and sleep it off, holding you until you feel somewhat better.

it doesn't really stop daisy from getting you high in the future, just a little less high, or from getting on billy's case, but she knows more why you're so stuck to each other.

sitting on rooftops with daisy drinking bottles and bottles of champagne and smoking a joint, she's scribbling down random lyrical ideas she gets from things you say. but you're losing it, she's got you thinking too much about billy, you're angry, sad, just riled up. and so when billy walks into this your time bomb is done ticking.

"daisy, what the hell!" he can already tell from scattered bottles that you've got to be drunk out of your mind.

"you're not her keeper, billy, an adult woman can handle herself. because that is what she is, isn't it?" daisy can't help herself but make digs about how everyone seems to glaze over how young you are, an adult, but not nearly as much as they are.

you're standing up, facing him, you've suddenly gained all the confidence to ask him things that you wouldn't usually dare to. "billy, what are we?"

"what? what are you talking about?" he's shaking his head and daisy is happily taking another hit off the joint. "you're my girl, you know that-"

"what does that even mean, billy? what does it mean to be your girl? label it, say it's something or maybe it means nothing to you at all, but I just wanna know where I stand. to understand who you want me to be because I have no fucking clue." and you're pushing back tears, slightly slurring your words, but they ring clear in billy's ears like the reckoning.

his hand runs through his hair, shaking his head, sighing, completely exasperated. "i-i don't know."

in the background daisy is scoffing, taking a drink, laughing slightly, "well, isn't that just a great response, you don't know."

you've spoken up before billy can shoot back, "I'm not asking to get married, I just want to know what I am to you or just what I'm not. because somedays I'm just some pair of tits that you're sick of doing lines on, another stupid fucking groupie-" your voice chokes, "and others it's like you'd hand the goddamn stars for me, your muse, your inspiration. and I don't even know what to expect, ever."

he can't think of a single thing to say that doesn't make him feel small, that express the complexities of how he's feeling. "you're drunk."

and it actually hurts him to see the way you just stare at him, letting the tears well in your eyes, "yeah." then you're laughing, grabbing the bottle from daisy to take another drink. "just go, billy, find someone much more entertaining then me. tracy has better tits anyways and they say she gives really good head-"

"I do know that-"he's taking a deep breath, swallowing, it feels like a lot to say this, "that I always want you around, near me, with me, when you're gone, it breaks me. and that I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling. look, I'm-" another deep sigh, "I'm sorry. let's just get you sobered up."

and him saying sorry must be good enough for you even if daisy knows she wouldn't have taken just that, but you're putting the bottle down, letting him get closer, "oh my god, I think I'm gonna be sick"

and she watches him nurse you through the next mornings hangover, the way he's mastered the hangover cure that helps you, the way he plays with your hair, the way he kisses your forehead, and how comforted you see by it.

yeah these are just some of my thoughts so far about it for my pookies

[cringearenachamp]

The Trial By Fire Debacle, Part I

(this party sucks... i'm bout 2 ditch)

If Steve didn't want to come back to Journey after Street Talk, he EXTREMELY didn't want to come back to Journey after For the Love of Strange Medicine. Both of his solo albums were about making steps forward on his own and trying to find his own independence, and each of those experiences were cut short for various reasons, many of which were outside of his control.

In this circumstance, though, it's at least partially Steve's fault: not leaving the band cleanly the first time around meant that he was still tied to them and to their label, and thus both still had a certain amount of leverage over him. He wasn't fully free-- that sword of damocles was always dangling over his head. The first time he tried to release a solo album in 1988 or 89-- Against The Wall-- was shelved because of that leverage (honestly though FTLOSM is SO much better). Why didn't he just leave the band? Pride, for one obvious reason. Maybe a little bit of denial, too-- he wasn't in the best head state at the time, and he might've been thinking in far more short-term ways without thinking of any long-term ramifications, simply because he was in panic mode. Avoidance, shame. There might have been financial reasons to remain tied to the band, too, though: he had to take care of his dying mother while working on the Raised on Radio album, and then other relatives of his passed away as well. There might have been various things in his life, including that, that made having some kind of income more desirable despite the money he already made with the band. Who knows really, though!

Anyway(~~~), as mentioned, the record label Steve had a contract with was the same record label that Journey was signed to. That label knew they'd make more money with a Journey album and a reunion-- band reunions were popular at the time, and the Eagles one was perfect boomer bait (my parents went to one of those shows lol)-- than they would with a Steve Perry solo album. In the end, he was able to release that album, but all promotion of it was tied to agreeing to do a Journey album next. (A mutual also mentioned that the song Anyway off of FTLOSM, his sort of apology song to the band, might have been a label ~requested~ addition, which makes things even spicier... still seemed pretty honest and introspective in execution, though, regardless of how much he was made to write it)

Steve had been able to start to figure himself out and grow at the cost of avoiding all his past stuff with Journey. Now he had to face all of it. To make matters worse, he had performed through a bout of walking pneumonia on what would turn out to be the final dates of his solo tour that seemed to noticeably weaken his voice. Or, at least, it hadn't fully recovered by the time he had to get in the studio with Journey. The last time he had to perform with the band when his voice wasn't in prime condition was 1991, during a memorial concert for tour promoter Bill Graham. In a 2018 interview he called it (paraphrased) one of the worst experiences in his career.

Apparently this was something of an impulsive decision on his part-- a lot of his appearances with the band have been like that (his first exit from the band also seemed impulsive, at least in execution). His voice was definitely rougher than usual-- at times it was a bit reminiscent of Rod Stewart-- and he forgot the lyrics to one of the verses of Faithfully (and all the lyrics were taped on Jon's keyboard). It was also tuned down, and this is apparently something Neal hates to do. He was also kinda trying to hype everybody up but it was a memorial concert and everybody was probably blazed out of their minds anyway because the Grateful Dead had played before them, lol. The body language between everybody seemed really awkward and stiff. Steve used to really enjoy connecting musically with Neal: that was probably something that didn't happen here. And that seemed to hurt a lot. To outside ears and eyes this didn't seem *that* bad, even if it wasn't ideal. But Steve was already a perfectionist, so he probably saw this as multiple kinds of disaster-- made worse by having to do it all in front of Herbie and Pat Morrow (friend of Herbie's and road crew bigwig), his Nemeses within the band basically-- so it wouldn't be a surprise if he was catastrophizing a bit. Fast forward to the Trial By Fire sessions, and all that shit was probably in the back of Steve's mind.

His voice was noticeably weaker and raspier even than on his last solo album, but I don't think it detracts from anything. He's always been good with working with what he has, even if he himself is highly critical of it. The music was... well, in my opinion, it was a mix. There was a TON of songs, though. I'd argue a bit bloated, but at the same time, I understand the context: it was the first album by them in ten years, and they wanted to give the fans (and the label...) as much as they could. Message of Love has that darkness motif again: "I walk alone in the dark/without you/and deep in the shadows I run/without you". The very next part, too: "And here I stand/the king of fools/now love's here/where are you?" That, to me, is like, "yeah, I'm a fucking idiot for how I handled all this and I feel like an idiot. But I missed you, did you miss me?" Even if this was something forced by label bullshit and his own mistakes, he still missed Neal, at least, and he wanted to make it work for him.

(he probably had this shit taped up to his various engineering console doohickeys)

A lot of the songs on the album, including Message of Love but also Forever in Blue and If He Should Break Your Heart, deal with unrequited yearning for someone already in a relationship. Can't Tame The Lion references both Don't Stop Believing ("one night in Detroit, I swear I saw you, standing there") and Stone in Love ("one summer of dreams, down by the river"). There's also a part where he sings about "the embers of reckless years", and, well, Steve feels a certain way about a certain guitarist's recklessness. This song in and of itself is something of a love song to Neal's playing, and it ends, appropriately, on a solo from him.

One More is an interesting, sort of abstract one. Lots of religious imagery but it doesn't necessarily seem happily-religious-- it's an angry song, and the imagery sort of apocalyptic (which matches the album cover, a bit). There's a demo Steve sung on before FTLOSM called 'Lost Angels', which also has religious motifs but in a similar sort of uneasy or even critical vein that hints at a belief in god but a distrust in or outright dislike of religious authority (in later interviews, he says he considers himself agnostic, basically). At first I wondered if this added extra layers to his dislike/distrust of Jon Cain, but Cain wasn't actually super religious at this point, so I think it was more like both of them were working through some things and eventually arrived at VERY different conclusions (Lost Angels is a VERY important text in itself, though, so that'll be its own post...!).

Then there's the big hit.... When You Love A Woman. Yawn. It smells like Jon Cain in here all of a sudden. Not my thing! So of course this is the one that exploded and was nominated for a Grammy and all that. There's a sad irony to it, as well, if so much of Steve's life in the early 90s was about self-actualization and exploring himself and there he is, stuck back in the place that had stifled that self-actualization, singing ballads about women (not that he hasn't loved women in his life-- more that a particular expression of it is there as a harder-set expectation again). Then again... something for the lesbians! Ha.

So musically it isn't perfect or at least isn't 100% my thing, but I still found a lot interesting on here, and it's very clear from the lyrics that Steve really wanted to make Neal happy and felt a lot of angst over being good enough for him/the band (and even more than that, he really wanted Neal to see him). The fact that Neal agreed to move on without Herbie must have given Steve a lot of hope that things could work out and that Neal would understand his side of things; he definitely thought Herbie was *THE* problem. And he was one *of* the problem*s*! Of course... things are never as simple as you'd like.

And of course this couldn't be a single post! There's so much drama around this time, and some of that will be talked about later...!

*UPDATE*

-i have to keep it 100 with the 'it smells like jon cain' joke for the ballad: steve can be JUST as much of a sappy cornball lmao

-the steve-trying/exploring-christianity-again angle was something i didn't know when i first wrote this and the other TBF essay and that makes certain lyrics extra ambiguous because if there's one thing i know about christian rock dorks it's that they love singing about jesus like he's their boyfriend. like having it be about neal is cute but it could just as well be about the literal jesus fucking christ. lol