#i really hope tumblr does the thing where it immediately does a read more- if not I will add one

[trashcatsnark]

🩺 🎤 🚙 for the sweet hot mess girl Aiden ❤️

Oh hot mess is definitely a word for her, thank you so much for the ask!!!

Vik

Vik has adopted this child and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Emyr, who? Vik is this girl's father. I think things were definitely a little clumsy at first- Vik's a good guy through and through, but he's also wise and knows not everyone in NC or anywhere for that matter can be trusted. Jackie comes walking in with a complete stranger like he's showing off a new puppy dog.

Aidan was also very nervous at first- she doesn't like doctors at all, given her experiences with the clan doctors. She just doesn't trust them.

First time he tried to install anything in her- she kicked him in the balls admist a panic attack. A lot of apologies and some gentle sedation later, he was able to do a proper scan and that's when Vik first started feeling this kind of paternal instinct. An untreated autoimmune disease, scar tissue from unneeded surgeries, barely treated or badly treated wounds- a life time of medical neglect. His heart broke. Slowly, they got more comfortable as doctor and patient- Vik won her over by being well Vik. Made it clear he'd never do something she didn't agree to, kept her informed with every exam, scan, or procedure that he could. Even started keeping candy in the clinic for her after she made a joke about getting some for being a good patient.

The big shift though I think came when Aidan started asking him for boxing training and tips on building muscle mass, shit like that. Vik asked her why she was suddenly so concerned, her size never got in the way of her merc work, and Aidan admitted she was worried about bieng able to bring Jackie back home if he got hurt. That's when Vik had a "oh, this is my daughter" moment, the full dad instincts came out and he showed her ways to use leverage to lift up people bigger than her.

Aidan isn't sure she deserves Vik's brand of paternal affection- but damn if she doesn't love having it.

Kerry

Well- she was introduced to him ass first which left an impression. His first impression being, "Why does my bouncer have some girl's ass dangling over his shoulder?" Then he just figured she was some general fangirl, asking for an autograph- and frankly the only reason she got it was her puppy dog eyes. Then she was weird about it, parroting words of his dead best friend/ex and he didn't really know what to make of that- the brief weird encounter with an even weirder fan reminding him of those old times, reminding him of Johnny, and what Kerry and Samurai were back in the day versus what Kerry is in 2077.

Then she broke into her house, but also it was Johnny- and life just got weirder from there.

For Aidan, it's odd too. Because from Johnny's memories and as the relic's effects grow stronger- she feels like she knows Kerry. But she knows she doesn't and she knows logically those memories are skewed. It feels like an old friend treating you like a stranger. Because there is this part of her that she buries going- no no, Kerry, we know each other, we played together, we fucked around, we grew up together, we-

And she knows that's not real, that Johnny, but that still is in the back of her mind. Trying to remember she's meeting him for the first time not the millionth. It also makes his sort of initial- coldness, roughness- a little more difficult to stomach. She knows, or at least thinks she knows, he only cares about Johnny at the jump once they break into his place but between having those memories and the fact she's still in a pretty fragile place during those times- it's difficult to feel like someone would be happier if she just... faded away and let Johnny have the reigns.

Of course- Kerry doesn't fucking know any of that, by that point he's just caught in having Johnny back and relieving his old days and Aidan kinda becomes just the vehicle for that. Not that he doesn't like her, I think he's kinda curious about her just because from the way Johnny talked- he suspects something is uh, going on there. He won't lie, the idea that Johnny spent part of his afterlife balls deep in a twenty year old generally pisses him off- because of fucking course that bastard would.

And that curiosity and interest starts to grow a bit more as they get closer. He starts asking for her help and Aidan has to fully embrace and accept that yes, Kerry is just as bad as Johnny- she thought he was the responsible one, but now they're threatening a J-Pop band.

Kerry starts to see Aidan I think both in her similarities to Johnny, what he was kind of initially looking for- a reckless asshole who'll fuck shit up, but also those differences- that she is kinder, softer- so much so she managed to round out some of Johnny's rough edges. Reminds him of old times but with a softer touch.

And Aidan sees and kind of finds in him, someone who by all measures should feel like he's proven himself, should feel accomplished. He became the star he sought out to become, he's rich, he's a legend- but he doesn't seem very happy with. Still stunted emotionally and struggling. Happiest when they were drinking coffee in a cheap cafe and laughing as a yacht burned. One of many reminders that just 'making it' doesn't mean you'll be happy.

Overall, she likes Kerry a lot and he likes her- they feel more familiar to each other than they have any right too. She patronizes him a bit and he can be a little too self-involved but they find each other comforting.

He's also really curious about how Aidan and Johnny fuck, because he's knows they're fucking- he knows it, but how the hell does that work??? He's a visual learner, please demonstrate.

Panam

Aidan was immediately attracted to Panam- immediate like little superficial crush. Nothing deep, but Aidan had that instant- oh if we weren't working together, I would have already propositioned you and been rejected by now!

Interestingly enough, that also weirdly jumpstarts her relationship with Johnny. Which is a whole thing.

Whereas conversely, Panam is very supicious of Aidan at first- a merc who doesn't even (at least initially) show her face, her proper name, or use her voice??? She's already been burned by Nash and while she doesn't have a lot of options, she can't say she isn't wary.

What's not helping here and is a big kind of looming elephant in the room of their dynamic though- Aidan's a fucking raffen shiv. Abandoned her clan, sure, but family means everything for nomads. Panam of course does not know this, does not even know Aidan is a nomad. So, she's bitching about shiv's being cockroaches without a soul while Aidan's slowly sinking into the seat.

Then things start to shift. Aidan goes along with getting Nash, even if she was bratty about to start- even specifically kicking him down to let Panam get the killing blow. Which, truthfully meant a lot to her. That Aidan saw that's what she needed and didn't judge, didn't condemn, just- here he is, do what you need to.

Then everything gets wild, Scorpion and a lot of other Aldecaldo's died. Aidan blames herself and does not fathom how Panam or Mitch can not blame her. And that guilt, mixed with the guilt of knowing she's lying about her origins, along with them growing closer with every call Panam makes for help- really does start to make Aidan see Panam differently in vein of- 'this is someone I care about that I've hurt and I don't want to even dare think of hurting her anymore, I'm already lying, I may need to pull back, just so no wires get crossed'

Meanwhile, Panam is starting to feel like she can trust Aidan more and more. And also, the sort of constant teasing from the vets and her growing connection to the merc is starting to make her go- Wait, wamen?! And maybe she's not as straight as she thought she was, but maybe that's just her misinterpreting, and maybe she's just being silly, and god Aidan makes her overthink shit more- which means her signals are confusing as fuck for Aidan who is trying to pull away, but also was told Panam is straight, but also Panam's throwing her feet in her lap and getting cozy by a fireplace- what in the bi tarnation?!

Overall, Panam likes having someone around who's so fucking reliable and loyal to a fault. So rare she finds someone outside of family who gives without taking, who helps without expectation. And Aidan likes how not only headstrong and passionate Panam is, but truthfully- Panam, the Aldecaldos- they make her think of what she always wanted as a kid. A real nomad family, one that loved and laughed, and cared for each other.

Then eventually the truth will come out. Panam learns everything about the kind of family Aidan comes from. And it feels like Nash- but so much fucking worse. And just like she always does- she acts on impulse, like she was scare of doing with Aidan, but she can't help it and just like Aidan feared the other shoe dropped and everythings gone to shit. Caught between being mad that Panam paints her with that same brush but knowing it would happen. And just like Panam feared, she acted on her feelings and she fucked things up. The two separating for a while, breaking off their friendship, both hurt.

But don't worry- something will bring them back together.

[penelopeswifey]

ACCIDENTALLY YOURS!

CHAPTER 3 — WEIRDO!

a/n: so.. hey.. happy new year.. merry christmas... happy halloween. I'm SORRY FOR SAYING ID UPDATE MORE THEN LEAVING AND NEVER COMING BACK. I really forgot about Tumblr after a few days ☹️☹️ but HERE I hope you all had a good 2024 and a even better 2025!!

You just sat on your chair, contemplating life while deciding if you even wanted to live it

This is so humiliating.

Just when you thought your day couldn't get worse, you got a notification from someone you would rather die than talk to.

There is no fucking way.

Y/N stared at their phone screen, frozen.

" Funny how you kept whining about how overrated I was, wanna talk about those stories you've made? "

No. No. No.

The words burned into your brain as you read them over and over again. Scaramouche. THE Scaramouche.. The idol you dragged through the mud on countless streams and tweets. The same idol who was, apparently, now aware of your other identity.. the anonymous fanfiction writer who had single-handedly written half the internet’s “Scaramouche x Reader” content. The same person who shitted on him so much time!

You dropped your phone onto the desk and buried your face in your hands. Nope. This isn’t real. This is all a dream. It can’t be real. Why would it be real? There’s no way this is real. But when you peeked through your fingers, the message was still there, on the phone like it demanded your attention.

“Why.. why is this happening to me?” you whispered to yourself. Your brain was screaming at you to respond, but also screaming at you to jump out of your window where you could die or move to the countryside and become a farmer. But your fingers refused to move. What could you even say?

" Haha, just a prank, broski! " No, too weird. Who the hell says that.

" That wasn't me!.. " Yeah, because your whole stream was definitely ai generated.

No, none of this would work.

Maybe you could ignore it. Pretend you didn’t see the message. But what if he posted about it? What if he already had? But, he couldn't right?! He's an idol.. but just out of paranoia, you frantically opened Twitter, scanning his feed. Nothing. Yet.

Dropping your phone back onto the desk, you screamed into your hands begging to be taken out. But you were going through that crisis, your phone buzzed again. Another message.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” you muttered as you grabbed their phone.

Please don't be him again.

" I have to say, you’ve got quite the imagination. Because some of those scenarios? Bold. "

Your soul left your body. He read them. He actually read them. How many? Which ones? Did he see the one where he- no. nope, nope, nope. don't you dare think about that.

Your thumbs hovered over the keyboard, shaking. After a deep breath, you typed something anything- to atleast be able to solve this issue!

“ I can explain? 😁.. "

The response was immediate.

"Oh, please do. I'm very interested. "

You let out a strangled noise somewhere between a groan and a scream. Why did he have to be so smug about this?! This was his fault!, with his stupid face and his stupid voice and his stupid way of being the perfect material to write about! This is all his fault he knows damn well how he's acting In front of the camera does he expect no one to be taking one for the team and writing about him?!

“Look,” you typed, trying to sound calm, “it’s not like I’m the only one who writes this stuff. You just happened to find mine. "

His reply came in less than ten seconds.

“ Not hard to find when you've basically written half of the internet's fanfiction about me. "

You nearly chucked your phone across the room. Yes, death is definitely a better option, where's the nearest window? You couldn't even think straight before you typed back and sent

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” you shot back

“ Oh, absolutely. This is the best thing I’ve seen all week. Do you always write such... intense stuff, or was it just for me? "

There's no coming back from that. You groaned, slamming your head onto the desk. There was no way you were living this down. Ever.

Driven by emotions instead of rationality, you texted back.

“I hate you.”

Another buzz.

“Doesn’t seem like it, judging by what you've written about me. "

You let out a soundless scream, shoving your chair back and pacing around the room, making laps as you ran around the house. Your heart was racing, your face felt like it was on fire.. out of embarrassment of course, NOT because you're interacting with THE scaramouche- the same one who in your fics did- yeah, stop.

Ignoring the continuous buzz of notifications erupting from your phone, you finally sat down from running laps and thought to yourself, knowing you just pulled yourself in a hole you sure as hell won't be escaping anytime soon.

He wasn't going to let this go, was he?

—

ACCIDENTALLY YOURS!

SYPNOSIS: You, a well-known streamer, have always kept your two hobbies separate. By day, you entertain thousands with your snarky commentary, but by night, you secretly write. fanfiction about your favorite idol, Balladeer. It was a guilty pleasure—until a late-night stream led to a slip of the tongue and exposed your secret to the world!

In a single moment of poor judgment and a misclick, which by the way was totally not your fault!.. I think.. clips and memes about you spread like wildfire! It was embarrassing enough for everyone to know about your fanfiction, but it spiraled down even further when they discovered you were writing about the very idol you  constantly claimed was overrated.

Just as you wallowed in self-pity, a notification pings on your phone. A familiar username and a blue checkmark.

Shit.

accidentally yours masterlist: chapter 4 —

-

taglist

@kaeuri @kazumiku @kyouzki @skyoverkill1 @flowzel @lalalaloveallmydays @sketcheeee @vi0let-writes @kunikuzushis-darling @js-a-silly-little-guy @simonisferal @jayzioxx @naevis-callingae @vxmp-loml @dxrling-xing  @suzueuieeeee @kinanahan @help-whatdoimakemyusername @khisuko @dearanemo @heusalettle @v4lerixxq @catorkitty @khsuvy @reivelmin

[gloster]

FAVORITE FANFICS OF 2024

2024 is/will/already over....and dear gosh, this year really kicked my butt. Drained me dry. Did a number on me mentally, emotionally, and even my wallet took too many hits. But I live to see another day & enter another year.

As always, the things helped me get through this year was friends both fandom & IRL, good movies, good shows, good music from familiar favs with new albums to KPOP, and of course FANFICS.

Every year fanfic writers both familiar & new to me blow me away with their talent, their writing, their brilliance. And every year I always do this traditional post to give them their flowers. Hence, the reason for this sweet lil' post of mine.

This is a little Tumblr tradition I've been doing now for a whooping 6 years & I look forward to it every time. It's my own favorite of fanfic rec lists. I did ones for 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, & 2023 if you're interested.

Without further ado, here are my favs.

1). however wild by @sayesayes & @noxarcanaart (steddie)

Summary: Prince Steve has always been told to stay out of the forest. And he does… when he’s awake.

This story 🖤this story🖤 this story 🖤this story 🖤 This beautiful, beautiful, incredibly addicting dark jewel is the reason why I was sucked into the steddie fandom- the amazingness that is this story, the beautiful fanart done by @noxarcanaart, & my bestie @dreamydrarry who was determined to pull me into the steddie ship b/c she needed a friend to gush with.

Fun fact. I saved this story on my marked for later for my friend @dreamydrarry b/c this story sounded right up her alley. However, I was too intrigued, particularly thanks to the key word: fae. I love fae. That's one of my magical creatures to read about in fantasy, so whenever I see it mentioned in a story, I have to read. For this one, I decided to read it. And I've never been the same again.

This story was just a masterpiece. A pure masterpiece from beginning to end, living rent-free in my head where I keep thinking about it, Prince Steve being so gentle & brave, fae-Eddie being wicked one second and so devoted the next.

I purposefully delayed my reading because I didn't want it to end. And once I finished, I immediately hopped on to see what other steddie stories @sayesayes had.

Honorable mentions:

genius loci

Flight Risk

locust year

(there is) thunder in our hearts

girlskin

too good to be true

daddy talk series

2). you might have some bruises (and a few scars) by @newtonsheffield (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: Matrimony- Gentleman, 27, seeking eligible lady. Respectable income made from farming livestock and barley in Aubrey, Kent. Gentleman lives with, and provides for six younger siblings and is seeking a wife who would tend to their care and education first and foremost. Family is very important and as such would be willing to provide a living for the lady’s family should this be required. Please send responses through Mrs M Williams, Aubrey village. -Mr A E Bridgerton

OR

Dear Mr Bridgerton, I hope this letter finds both you and your family well as I know the end of Winter tends to lend itself to small children finding themselves unwell. I am writing with regards to the advertisement I noted in the newspaper this past Sunday. I am six and twenty and reside in Somerset, where I grew up, with my mother.

OR

Anthony is a handsome farmer in need of a mother for his younger siblings and no time for courting

OR

The marriage of convenience AU no one needed

Once upon a time, I used to despise marriage being used as a trope in stories from arranged marriages to marriages of convenience. As usual- fanfics came along and completely changed my mind. This story is an example of that. This story also made me more open-minded to farming and farmers in stories, which I never thought of before until I stumbled across this story.

@newtonsheffieldis that writer, especially for the kathony/kanthony fandom, feeding us well with the content and love the damn show refuses to give our favs.

Just when I think I can't love Kate & Anthony anymore, this story deepened my love 100000x fold.

Honorable mentions:

Cupboards

(I feel) the lavender haze creeping up on me

3). I know I've kissed you before (Can I try again) by @transmascsteveharrington (steddie)

Summary: “Still not graduated, Harrington?”

It’s something Eddie would have said teasingly when they were teens. Steve would have smacked him on the shoulder, affectionately calling him an asshole before being pulled into an apologetic kiss. But they are not teenagers anymore and Eddie’s voice lacks any of the warmth that used to be reserved for Steve. Now, it’s just loaded with resentment, which, yeah, is a fair reaction.

“I…eh…work here now,” Steve says lamely and points at his office door. “Guidance counselor.”

or: 14 years after his first big heartbreak, Steve's life is relatively stable. It's been two years since the tragic incident that led to him becoming Dustin's guardian, both of them slowly healing. He is doing amazing at his job and his social life is great. Of course, that's when a person from Steve's past has to come and shake everything up.

OH. MY. GOSH. THIS STORY-THIS STORY-THIS STORY-THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best way I can describe this story is the famous Lady Gaga meme: talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it.

Second chance romance is incredibly hard to do, which many try (particularly published authors) and very few can pull off. This story did it well where my heart was lifted, speared, crushed, sewed-up, & melted in an orderly fashion.

4). Living The Unknown Dream by @blushweddinggowns (steddie)

Summary: “How are you feeling?” Steve asked, all wide-eyed and caring.

Eddie gaped at him, fully aware that his entire face must be red. He was trying to form words, he really was, but Steve single handedly put the brakes on that.

Why was Steve Harrington holding his hand? Why was Steve Harrington calling him baby ?

Why did he kiss him, like it was the most natural thing in the world?

Only fanfic writers. Only fanfic writers can take tropes that usually don't tend to stick and turn them into brilliant stories. Amnesia trope is one I've grown to loathe after getting burnt- and incredibly frustrated by it- too many times in other stories. But with this one, I was too intrigued and oh how I fell. Oh how I was proven wrong. And I'm so happy for it.

Yet another story that just deepened my love for a ship that I already carried such deep love for, but then this story came along and it increased 1000000000x.

5). The Yellow Tulips of Texas by @folklauerate (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: Kate runs into a store to get out of the rain, and runs right into a southern gentleman.

(or Texas!Anthony and New Yorker!Kate fall in love)

“You should go,” He says, drawl somehow even stronger now, or is she imagining it? “Most beautiful place on God’s green earth.”

She snorts.

“You laugh now, but just you wait,” He says. “You’ll see, one day.”

“What makes you so sure I’ll go to Texas?”

She has a feeling she knows why he’s so sure, but she asks anyway.

He grins at her.

“A man just knows these things, honey.”

For y'all who didn't think you couldn't be anymore thirsty for Mr. Anthony Bridgerton/ Jonathon Bailey, BEHOLD *presents story in full gusto*. Be Prepared. This story will make you perch for him because 🥵🥵🥵

I do not care for age gap romances. I really don't. Most of what I read usually rub me the wrong way, but the way this one was done, I was greatly impressed. Partially because of their ages where Kate is in her mid-20s & Anthony in his 40s, which isn't too bad. Partially because the writer just knows their stuff and makes magic.

It's because of this story I started hunting for more age-gap romances.

Honorable mentions:

lost in your current like a priceless wine

The MILF in 2B

6). Come Away with Me by FloralUmbrella (kathony/kanthony)

Summary: Anthony and Kate whisk away on their honeymoon. An exploration into the world of intimacy and marriage ensues.

If you are like me, you weren't that particularly impressed with season 3 of Bridgerton for a number of reasons. Including the very very limited scenes of kathony/kanthony, and lack of attention they were given both on-and-off screen.

It's time like this when fanfic writers come through & deliver the content we so desperately need. This story gives us the honeymoon period we were denied in the show, where we see our fav just fall deeper and deeper in love while also learning more about each other.

7). When You Kiss Me (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by @femmequixotic (drarry)

Summary: A drag fairytale of New York in which Draco wears red lipstick and Potter can’t get enough.

An oldie but such a good good goodie. Listen I will always advocate for older fanfics and giving them a chance because you can find some good treasures.

Nothing is more better than going to a story you've been saving forever and it ending up being so much better than expected. Confident Draco in drag, trying to bury the ghosts of his past. Harry stumbling across his club and needing an escape. It's so so so so good.

8). The Librarian by library_fireplace (drarry)

Summary: Draco Malfoy is a reference librarian at a small branch of Britain's wizarding public library system. Harry Potter needs help finding the romance section.

~*~

“Malfoy,” Potter said, slowly. “When did you read The Dragon Tamer?”

Draco felt himself turning pink, and then red. He hadn’t meant to give himself away quite that much, but he also knew that Potter suspected him of following his reading history. He had been found out for his snooping. “I —“ he stuttered embarrassingly, and wanted to melt away into the floor behind the desk. “A few weeks ago, now.”

“And how many romances had you read before that?” Potter pressed, now smirking again, knowingly this time, leaning forward with his arms crossed on the desk. Draco felt himself break out in a shiver that he hoped wouldn’t turn into a sweat.

“Er… None, I’m afraid,” he found himself admitting, even though he had really meant to lie.

“Draco,” Potter smiled. “Did you read it just because I had read it?”

Draco scoffed audibly, but very unconvincingly. “No!”

“I think you did.”

Books have the power to bring people together, even helping old rivals find common ground- and more- within the wonders that lay in their pages. Including some good old smutty smutty.

It's a tale as old as time. Stuffy librarian who believes in "fine literature" A hardcore, shameless romance reader who loves their smut and isn't afraid to show it. This story already was promising featuring Draco as a librarian who has a perfect system for organizing his books. But having Harry be a romance reader whose big stack intrigues Draco into reading, having him fall hard...it's PRICELESS.

9). blood is an aphrodisiac by @cuips-not-cute (steddie)

Summary: There’s a few things Eddie notices when he wakes up.

One, he bites his tongue. It hurts. Of course. The weird thing, though, is he doesn’t taste blood. But he knows he bit it hard and it’s throbbing behind his teeth. He tastes something, and his mouth feels wet but there’s no metallic flavor (metal. He likes metal. He’s remembering). It’s smoother. More earthy.

Two. He’s alone. Completely. No Dustin. Or Robin or Nancy or Steve or anyone.

Three. He’s sore. His whole body aches, his skin is thrumming with it. His neck especially, and his sides like where Steve was bitten, too.

Four. He’s got to blink a couple times to realize this one. Let his eyes adjust from the pitch black of being closed to the dim blue haze of the Upside Down. Yeah, that’s what he realizes. He’s still there.

Five. He’s fuckin’ starving.

In which Eddie wakes up with sharp teeth, Steve has a thing for tongue piercings, and it takes a while for them to figure out what all of that means.

I'm convinced this story was the starter behind the vampire/kas!Eddie fanart I be seeing. Like everytime I see vampire Eddie, I think of this story and the biggest smile spread across my face.

I binged this story. I read it in one sitting-and immediately wanted to go back to the beginning to read all over again. This story felt like one of those urban fantasies, where it's modern day, vampires exist, but they're integrated into modern world. Also despite the fangs and the blood thrist, vampirism has very little to do with the plot and is a stepping stone for these two getting together.

I just how Steve wasn't at all shy about his attraction and just want with it. Meanwhile Eddie is just like 😨🤯😶 I LOVE IT.

Honorable mention:

he could be brave

blinking red light

10). The Stutter and The Freak series by @lexirosewrites (steddie)

Summary: The Hellfire Club can collectively pinpoint the exact day that the formerly ruthless dungeon master known as Eddie “The Freak” Munson became soft. Mostly because it was the same day that Steve “The Stutter” Harrington started school at Hawkins High and became an unofficial member of HFC.

If there's another fanfic writer whose profile I've been devouring, it would be @lexirosewrites. And each one, I get more and more hooked. They have so many stories that I really adored, including the first honorable mentioned that tied with this one for top fav. But there's something about this one that gets me every time.

This one, Steve is such a sweet baby boy who deserved to be protected and Eddie immediately is like, BET, I accept that challenge. Quickly Steve is taken under Dustin's wing, taken into the Hellfire Club, and immediately captures Eddie's heart.

It's a comfort read.

Honorable mentions:

my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

Silver

Bandaids for the Heart

And now for the Honorable Mentions that were insanely good but due to time & length, couldn’t go into full depth:

Love You Like A Love Song series by eyesofshinigami (steddie; omegaverse steddie w/alpha Steve & omega Eddie, dissolving and switching norms in the ABO on its head, being so sappily in love)

awake for ever in a sweet unrest: california trail steddie by hesjustlikemefr (steddie; California trail, mid-1800s, alpha Eddie x omega Steve, mpreg, age gap w/older Eddie)

Nice & Quiet by nobetterlove (steddie; hard of hearing Steve, Steve slowly losing his hearing, Eddie & the gang helping him all the way)

you're mine, class president by orphan account (tododeku; based on the anime maid sama ft. flirtious shouto x shy izuku, peppered with so much cuteness)

For the Love of Football by olddarkmachine (sheith; football player shiro x loner-keith set in a 4-part college AU that's so much fun)

Hic sunt dracones by @just-my-latest-hyperfixation (steddie; fated mates w/dragon Eddie & prince Steve, delivered with such beautiful devotion and possessiveness that I gobbled up)

There you have it, folks. The fanfics that live rent-free in my head. The fanfics that helped make this year bearable. Done by the amazing writers who deserve all the praise, love, kudos, comments, and more. And whom I definitely will be checking out their future stuff in the future.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

I want you to know I respect your opinion and at the end of the day you can do whatever you want on your own page, which I love all the art you do. Your White Diamond AU is so remarkable I've added it to my own headcanon idea of Steven meeting his alternate selves.

With that said, why are you responding to posts or asks that talk about blatant shattering of other gems? Real SU fans don't immediately go "death to the enemy." Real SU fans understand that SU is about love, acceptance, second chances, and pacifism. I'll admit, there have been more idiots in the fandom since the show's end, but in my humble opinion, it's best to not give any of them attention, even if they are annoying.

Sorry if I sound rude, I just didn't get responding to that one ANONYMOUS comment.

It's not rude at all! And it's a great question! One I understand the reasoning of.

But I have my own reasoning for doing the things I do.

Mainly, I think that while ignoring SOME behaviors is definitely good.... talking about OTHER behaviors actively is the fastest and healthiest way to immunize the greater community against them.

Let me explain.

I've been in this fandom a long time now, and I agree with you - there's a solid possibility, a real chance that whoever sent that message is just a passing non-fan who decided to be weirdly edgy in my inbox. No big deal. It happens.

But in my experience, the SU fandom is.... wide and varied. There are people of all ages, and many opinions. It would be easier, of course, if the only 'true fans' were those who perfectly understood the show's themes. But to me, that veers dangerously close to a No True Scotsman type of thinking. The reality is that many different people watch SU. And while many of them do inherently agree with the message and understand the nuance, many more just watch the show because... they like the surface level graphics and cool fights and interesting worldbuilding. In fact, many of the show's fans are edgy teens (sorry edgy teens) who are in a life-stage where violence and being strong and cool and decisive in a morally black and white manner is the only way they can possibly imagine solving any problem. And... that's kinda the opposite of what SU teaches! But that's also the point. SU teaches those things on purpose.

And yeah, I can absolutely just ignore this part of the population. But ignoring a behavior does not actually make it go away 100% of the time. If a child in a supermarket comes up to you and starts smacking you with a wooden spoon from Aisle 4, then... sure... you can ignore them and see if their parent comes to get them, or they go away, especially if it's a very small child and they're not hurting you a lot.

But that's not the only option. You can ALSO opt to teach them - and any other spoon-wielding children watching - what COULD happen if they are crude or cruel to a stranger in public. Namely, you can snap 'stop it' and at the very least glare at that child. This is a lesson that will arguably teach them more about the interaction than a complete lack of reaction would.

Now, I'm not saying people who send me asks are all children and I'm doling out some moral lessons here. This is just a metaphor.

I'm simply a person in a social space (tumblr) who is driving my own blog. And while I DO ignore a very large part of cruel/rude asks I get (trust me, I do ignore many!) I sometimes also just post a reply to show what ELSE could happen if you say a borderline silly and arguably tonally inappropriate ask to a person. You could get replied to! In a sarcastic or snappy manner!

And maybe - just maybe - the other people reading my blog can learn something from the experience, and think 'ah, so doing it like THAT will maybe make people kinda annoyed, now I know and will not do that'.

I cannot deny that overall I agree with you, though. I don't think that these types of messages deserve attention on the regular. But I'd hope that my replies to these things are not really... regular. I ignore probably... 80% of these sort of things? I guess maybe it just feels like a lot less, since, well. The public ones are 100% of the ones you get to see!

[1d1195]

Traditional XI

You can read the rest of Traditional here.

Thank you so much for the love and support on this story. She and Harry have definitely turned into one of my favorite couples I've had the pleasure of writing about. As an aside, I will be posting a long overdue "how my taglist works" (because I a tumblr-elder and don't know what I'm doing anymore). But for those of you that have been tagged throughout the series, please check out the message at the bottom.

This is the final part (not including the extras I have lined up.) There's a bit of angst and a good bit of fluff. It follows part ten immediately and I also continued with marking the days/time because I think it made it a bit easier to follow.

Truly, really, thank you so much. Part 1-11 is 67k words and I’ve enjoyed typing each one. I hope you continue to enjoy reading. Without further ado:

--

“She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

Harry felt his entire body freeze over with a new fear that Niall mistakenly unlocked. It truly felt like his body was made of ice. He grabbed at his phone anxiously calling the apartment complex’s main line. He had to suffer through prompts before he could finally talk to a person. He asked if it looked as if anyone was moving stuff from his apartment (although he would have given it to her at this point).

Monday

“I’ll kill him,” Louis shouted, almost proudly as he entered the apartment. She shook her head and just burst into tears as she told him about all the things Harry did. While he was prepared to murder him, Louis’ heart softened with each task Harry completed to make sure his best friend was cared for. It was everything he ever hoped for the girl he thought of as one of his own sisters. He wouldn’t kill Harry. He couldn’t...not if he did all that for her.

Eleanor combed her fingers through her hair while the poor girl cried in her lap. Louis was frowning, glancing at Eleanor every so often as she spoke. “Babe,” Louis whispered when she finished her story.

She sniffled. “I don’t know why I did that,” she croaked. “That was so stupid, who does that? You should have seen the look on his face. He’s never going to forgive me.”

“Of course, he will,” Eleanor said easily shaking her head. Her voice was so solid, like she had already talked to Harry about it and knew with every fiber of her being. Louis crouched beside her wiping the tears out of her eyes as comfortingly as he could. “Harry loves you, darling,” Eleanor reminded her.

“Why was I so mean?” She choked on another sob. “I’d hate me. I was so heartless.”

“You were overwhelmed, love,” Eleanor promised. “That was a lot to take in, all in one day. But he meant the best and brightest for you. You have to believe that. Harry has never done anything but try to make sure you’re taken care of.”

She took in a shaking breath as more tears poured out of her; she was so unhappy with how she handled the whole day. Maybe she was overwhelmed. That would at least have made some sense. There was so much to be overwhelmed about. Everything she had been bottling up. All of which was threatening to burst because it just had to be one of those weeks where it all just piled and piled until it all crumbled down.

“Babe,” Louis whispered trying to stop the tears from falling but failing because they kept coming faster than he could swipe her cheeks. “C’mon.”

“I know you all went to the funeral for my dad,” she sniffled. She may as well have wallowed in the hurt a bit more. They needed to know she knew. “I know they had one...I saw it in the online obituary.”

They were silent for a minute. Louis didn’t move his eyes from hers for a moment. He pressed his lips together in a thin line. So of course, she knew she was right. They did hide it from her.

However, Louis wasn’t going to forget that she let them hide it. He stared at Eleanor for a moment; having some silent conversation that only the two of them could have. The entire time she continued crying. Eleanor gave her a comforting squeeze as best she could with her sprawled across her lap.

“I think you’re scared,” Eleanor whispered without addressing her comment about the services.

“El,” Louis’ voice wasn’t a whisper like it had been directed at the sobbing girl. His tone wasn’t gentle. It was like he was warning her not to continue.

“Scared of what?” She sniffed because she may have heard the warning in Louis’ voice, but she was already miserable. It couldn’t be worse than what she felt.

“Tell her, Louis. Tell her,” Eleanor begged. She turned her attention back to her best friend.

Louis reminded her so much of her brother, she wondered if he would have been as wise as Louis was if he were still around. Even for the goofball he made himself out to be, Louis was nearly sagely at his age. He was the one she went to for advice. The one she asked for help when she needed to get Harry a birthday gift. If she was stuck in the middle of nowhere, she was pretty sure she would still call Louis first. He was her best friend because he always knew what to say to her and even if it was hard to hear he always told her the hard truths.

She could see on his face that it was going to hurt to lay whatever he was about to say in front of her if only because she was already so heartbroken. “Being cared for,” he bit the inside of his lip, but he didn’t break his gaze with her. “You think it’s a death sentence,” he told her. His tone was soothing, even though the words were not. “Because when your brother came to get you, he tragically died. Don’t think I’m forgetting that. But then, your parents stopped caring for you...so it was like...you associated the two,” he explained. “And then, you didn’t tell me. So, in your mind, caring for you is a death sentence for those that love you.”

She was speechless. Her sniffles slowed, which allowed her to sit in the upright position, but Eleanor still had her arm wrapped around her shoulders. She swallowed as she listened to him speak without hiccupping on her breath. “Do you really think we wouldn’t have let you live with us?” Eleanor asked softly from beside her. “The only one that thought you needed to get your own space was you...and don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you got Harry out of the deal, but you could have lived with us for forever,” she smiled gently at her.

She stared at the two of them and Louis looked at her tear-stained face with a frown. “Love,” he said so gently. “You have spent so long building up walls making sure you take care of everyone in your life because the last time you stopped taking care of someone else and had fun of your own, something horrible and tragic happened,” She looked away from him, sniffling uncontrollably. “But it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. No matter how many times your mum says it was...no matter how many times you sit next to his gravestone and feel guilty for it. He would have gone and got you and he would have turned that steering wheel to protect you over, and over, and over again,” she couldn’t look at Louis when he talked about it. It was his best friend, and she just took him away forever...all for a party. “I would have done it for you, babe,” he promised. She hated the idea of that too so much that she let out another whimpering sob. “Now, so would Harry,” he told her, and the pang of anxiety at the mere idea Harry would fatally hurt for her rippled all through her body she felt sick at the idea...it hurt all the way to her toes and made her fingertips feel numb.

But Louis pressed on making it hurt even more but with every intention of making it better. “You can’t keep your guard up forever. You can’t stop people from taking care of you because you miss him and worry about the consequences of them taking care of you,” he said. “We all take that risk for someone we love,” he brushed the tears off her cheeks once more as they were finally slowing to a pace he could keep up with. She refused to look at him. But Louis wouldn’t accept that. “Babe,” he said turning her chin back to him. “Let someone else take care of you. Let Harry do it. You’ve done it for long enough.”

*

Tuesday

Niall found Harry throwing the lamp on his desk against the wall of his office so hard he was surprised the wall didn’t shatter. But the lamp certainly did. Nearly splintered into a hundred pieces. He flopped into his desk chair and hung his head practically between his knees.

“Christ, the two of you today,” he grumbled hoping to find Harry in better shape than his typically better mood intern. Obviously, that would not be the case. “What’s wrong?” He asked, closing the door.

Harry ran a hand over his face. He wanted to cry but he was at work, and he shouldn’t have. “She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

His gaze snapped up to Niall and he mouthed the word whoa. If Niall said it out loud, he didn’t hear it. He was shocked by the redness of Harry’s eyes, the withdrawn look. He knew it was bad when she could hardly keep track of what she was doing this morning. It was worse than when her coffee spilled all over her things a few months ago.

But seeing his best friend so distressed…

Harry felt his entire body freeze over with a new fear that Niall mistakenly unlocked. It truly felt like his body was made of ice. He grabbed at his phone anxiously calling the apartment complex’s main line. He had to suffer through prompts before he could finally talk to a person. He asked if it looked as if anyone was moving stuff from his apartment (although he would have given it to her at this point).

He was awarded the slightest bit of relief to hear the word “no” at the other end. It washed over him as he rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, alright. Thanks,” he mumbled hanging up. He sat in his chair, and he glanced at Niall balling his hands into fists. “She gave back all the money,” he mumbled.

Niall did the easy and quick calculations in his head regarding the last eight or so months. “Whoa.”

Harry told him all about the reference calls, the graduation ceremony, and the lawyers’ meeting with her mum, and the good news. He told Niall how he paid for her student loans and kept all of it hidden from her. Harry tried to hide the tears in his eyes, but Niall knew they were there in his voice as he listened.

“Harry...you gotta just talk to her.”

“M’pretty sure she hates me.”

“That’s a load of shit, alright,” Niall said knowingly. “She loves you.” Harry felt his heart hoping a bit by way of fluttering against his ribs. He shook his head. He didn’t want to hope because she looked betrayed, and it was all his fault. Niall shook his head. “She’s all snively and you’re all angry. You two are quite the pair. You could have a show.”

He wanted to throw something at Niall, but he was too exhausted to hold his head up, let alone hold anything worth throwing—and he wouldn’t really throw something at his best friend. So, he sat there, devastated that she gave him the money back. It worried him to the core. It seemed his new fear of her leaving that apartment was going to be real, sooner rather than later.

And if she left Styles Incorporated…

“She said that you needed this today,” Niall shrugged and put a folder on Harry’s desk in front of him. He winced knowing she was still helping even when she was upset with him. “Tragic that I have to play messenger,” he shook his head. “I hope you talk to her.”

But Harry didn’t want to press. It was obvious he pressed too much and now he had to wait for her to forgive him.

Maybe.

*

Wednesday

She didn’t come to work.

There was nothing else to say.

There was nothing he could think about except that she didn’t come to work.

He didn’t get to see her. All day and an entire near-sleepless night. He impulsively shopped for items scheduled to be delivered the following day. Items he didn’t need but he needed to get for her...even if she never set foot in his house again.

There was nothing else he could think about.

*

Thursday

Niall brought his tea to him that afternoon.

So, a new nightmare plagued him, and he continued to think of nothing else but the distance she was putting between them.

*

Friday

For the second time in his life, and moreover, the second time within a year, Harry left work early. Niall was insistent. He was agitated beyond belief, his one meeting he was completely distracted that Niall did most of the talking. Harry’s company was substantial, but surely, she couldn’t avoid him on the entire floor.

But she did. She managed somehow to avoid him even when he kept going in and out of Niall’s office and thereby walking through her little space. But she wasn’t there a single of the seven or so times he walked through. At one point he walked in for the sake of walking in. Niall was on the phone with a client. Harry just shook his head and left before even registering the fact Niall was there.

It was after the meeting that Niall encouraged him to leave for the day. “I don’t need to,” he snapped at his friend. “Jus’ get on with it,” he muttered.

Niall sighed, blew a long breath out his mouth. He packed his belongings from off the table and patted Harry on the back. “Meeting’s over, Harry,” he said and left him alone in the conference room.

He knew he was in tough shape but not even realizing the meeting was over seemed bad even for the way he was feeling. Rubbing the back of his head, he headed once more to Niall’s office. This time he wasn’t surprised she wasn’t there. Harry apologized to Niall quickly, returned to gather his stuff from his office, and left for home.

*

“Harry went home, so you don’t have to keep hiding,” Niall rolled his eyes as she tentatively tiptoed into her office. He didn’t look up, so he didn’t see the way she nearly dropped all of the papers in her arms at Niall’s sudden (accurate) accusation that she was hiding.

She bit her lip and put the papers on her desk. Niall didn’t look up as she walked toward his desk. “I yelled at him,” she whispered.

“Good, he probably deserved it,” Niall said simply. “People don’t yell at him enough. Think because he’s CEO, he’s without a flaw,” he shrugged. “He’s not, I’ve never seen him finish one document on his own because he never remembers how to fill it out. The man can’t multiply to save his life—I always do the tip at the restaurant. He has a terrible signature on contracts. It’s embarrassing to sign my name next to his. Also, he has a terrible handicap even though he’s been golfing for at least seven or so years now,” he said as if that should be the reason that she could yell at him. He looked up and smiled at her because it was an attempt to make her laugh but didn’t seem to do the trick.

“He’s also really cranky when he doesn’t see you at night now,” this was much softer said. His voice quiet as he further explained this. “And he bothers me. Called me at one in the morning last night asking if I wanted a porch swing. Do you know he has an online shopping problem? It’s worst when he's upset. He panic-ordered three sets of dishware when you got burned,” he continued. Her heart fluttered at the mention of a porch swing. It shot through her like a bolt of electricity. That was because of her. She knew it. But Niall’s attempt still got him not even a smirk. “You should probably go after him,” he smiled at her sadly once more. “You need to talk to him.”

She shook her head. “He won’t forgive me.”

Niall rolled his eyes again. “Would you forgive him if this whole crazy scenario was reversed?”

She looked at her feet because she wouldn’t even need to forgive him. It would be a non-issue. “I see why Harry made you his sous-chef around here,” she muttered...because yes, of course she would. Probably before he even tried to apologize, at that.

“I knew there was a reason,” he winked at her. “Have a lovely weekend, darling,” he said going back to the documents on his desk.

“Are you sure?” She whispered after a moment.

“He loves you. I promise.”

“But all the other interns...the...companions. I’d be no different falling all over him.”

“He fell for you long before you did,” he told her simply.

She swallowed, blushing at the notion. Her stomach flipped with hope. “Do you know he went to the funeral?” She whispered.

Niall frowned because he didn’t know that, but he did know that had to hurt her. He looked back up to meet her gaze and he smiled gently at her. “Another reason you should yell at him.”

“You’re a really good friend, Niall,” she rolled her eyes.

“Can’t wait to be one of your best friends, love,” he winked.

She took one more deep breath, hurried over to Niall’s desk. She kissed his cheek as he worked. He smiled. “Sorry I’m taking your job,” she whispered to him.

He threw his head back a bit and laughed. “I’d like to see you try,” but he didn’t mind, really. It would be worth it to have her around.

*

The driver was waiting at the edge of the cemetery. She took her wedges off so she wouldn’t get them covered in dirt as she sat cross-legged on the ground. She fiddled with the flowers—Eleanor probably planted them. Or maybe even her mom. She was surprised because there weren’t as many weeds pushing through the ground as there should have been—especially when she took notice of the other stones nearby. “I think you’d really like him,” she whispered. Of course, there was no response. “Louis likes him,” she told him. “So...there’s that,” she shrugged. “And he has a porch swing,” she added. “We’re not even together and he still didn’t cheat on me, so he beat the last guy, y’know?” she smirked sadly. “I wish you could’ve met him...”

She paused, looking around the grounds for a moment before she continued. “If you look, you can see a car over there, yeah? That poor man has to follow me everywhere because Harry doesn’t want me to get stuck without a ride in inclement weather or something,” she whispered, smiled sadly. “I’m so in love with him, I swear I can feel it in the atoms of my heart,” her eyes watered. “I gave him all the money back. I want him to know that I’m not...I don’t want money. I just want him,” she told him. “I know you would probably hate the idea of me being in love with anyone...but at least I waited until college...poor El stuck with Louis for the rest of her life,” she sighed as if it really were a tragedy. But it wasn’t. She loved Eleanor and Louis so much.

“Niall said he’s really bad at golf though, so you could still make fun of him about something,” she let out a watery laugh. “I miss you...so much,” she whispered. “I hope Dad is happy again,” she glanced over at the nearby plot of land. “He missed you,” she sniffled. “We all miss you,” her voice cracked. “Okay...I’m gonna go grovel for forgiveness, now,” she said. “I’ll see you soon,” she kissed two of her fingers and pressed them over his name before getting off the ground, brushing the dirt off, and headed for the car.

“Are you alright, Miss?” He asked with the utmost concern. He was opening the door for her as she approached.

She nodded, sniffling, and wiping her eyes. “For now,” she sighed. “Can you bring me to Harry’s?” She asked.

*

Harry didn’t want to answer the door. But whoever was on the other side knocked, then rang the doorbell. Knocked again. Doorbell again. Persistent.

If it was Niall coming to console him, he was going to kill him, simple as that. “For fucks sake,” he grumbled marching to the door in an angry fit. “Niall, y’made me leave early, and I did. What d’you want?” He snapped loud enough to hear through the door before ripping it out of the way.

She flinched at his harsh tone. Her eyes were puffy and red. She looked so defeated as she turned her gaze to the ground. His heart hammered against his ribs in total shock that she was there. Left him utterly speechless. “I know this is stupid...” she started. “I’m sorry. It’s not enough because you deserve so much more than sorry. It’s never going to be enough, but I am so... very sorry. I was...” she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I was. What I said was so hurtful and so untrue. You have to believe that,” she was staring at her feet while she spoke. “Harry,” her voice cracked, and she was so worried it wasn’t enough. He didn’t make any noise and she was certain if he didn’t forgive her, she would die in that spot. “I know you didn’t mean anything by what you did other than to help me. But I don’t accept help very well... in case it wasn’t obvious. Especially when it comes to something like...my career or my...past,” she explained. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you; I shouldn’t have said such awful things and I would time travel back to that moment and slap myself for even thinking about speaking to you like that. It was horrible,” she shook her head. “I’ll beg every day for as long as you want if you’ll forgive me,” she whispered. “I am—”

Harry pulled her into his arms suddenly, one arm around her waist, the other snaking up her back to hold the back of her head. He clutched her against him as tightly as he could without hurting her or inhibiting her breathing. “You were already forgiven,” he murmured breathing deeply into her hair. He kissed the side of her face. She released a long breath and buried her face against the side of his neck.

“You shouldn’t give in so easily,” she sniffled clinging back to him like he was a buoy. Of course, he kept her afloat.

“I’ll yell at you later if that’ll make you feel better.”

She nodded. “It really would.”

He smiled, kissed the side of her head again. Harry wouldn’t yell at her if his life depended on it. “I jus’ want t’take care of you,” he promised. “That’s it.”

“I know, you told me that first day you messaged me.” He smirked thinking about how a year ago, she wasn’t in his mind at all. He didn’t even know she existed. Now, he thought about spending one second without her beside him and it seemed like full-blown torture. “Louis said I take care of everyone else because the last time someone cared about me, they died,” she said bluntly. “Seven years of therapy and Louis was the only one who said it,” she muttered. Harry was glad she was tucked below his chin because he couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. It was incredible she could make a joke in even the saddest of circumstances. She took a shivering, heaving breath. Harry tried to pull back so he could see her, but she squeezed him in place. Like she didn’t want to say it while looking at him. He nodded in encouragement for her to continue. “People will know if you hire me. You’d literally be making a position for me. And so… I thought if I got a job elsewhere... we could…” she swallowed the lump in her throat. She tucked her face deeper in his shoulder. “I…uh...”

He pulled back this time and didn’t stop when she tried to hold him in place. He pressed his hand to the side of her face and rubbed his thumb over her cheek. “Thought we could be a real couple?” He asked softly.

Her cheeks turned red as ever and she nodded. “Yes,” she whispered.

He didn’t pause for even half a second. He didn’t want her to make her feel embarrassed or worried about anything regarding their future. “Kitten, m’so in love with you, I don’t care if we tell the entire world. I don’t care if everyone knows or if no one knows. All that matters t’me is that I love you so much.”

Her eyes watered and her heart melted. She didn’t know how to tell him she loved him so much it hurt but he said it so beautifully and without a care. She didn’t know how to articulate it as perfectly as he did. “They should really put a warning on that site about how you may accidentally find your soul mate.”

He managed to smile this time for just a mere moment as she spoke; his heart skipped beats waiting for her to say she loved him back. While she didn’t say it exactly as he thought she would (but when did she ever do what he expected?), it was exactly what he wanted her to say and meant just as much if not even more.

Then he kissed her so deeply he thought he might bruise her lips. But if he did, he thought she might not even mind.

*

Harry lifted her legs, so they were wrapped around his hips. He carried her all the way to the kitchen, pausing only to kick the door closed. He settled her on the counter and started looking for some medicine. He didn’t ask if her head hurt because the redness in her eyes told him it was aching.

“You have t’take the money back,” Harry said leaning down to take her shoes off as she swallowed the medicine. He tossed them toward the TV room. “I shattered a lamp over it,” he stood back up and kissed her again on the forehead.

 “Niall told me,” she smirked at him. He stood between her knees.

“Can’t have any secrets with him,” Harry muttered.

She giggled and Harry pressed his lips to hers again then pulled back so he could hold her face between his hands. He smiled at her with a shake of his head. “God, you’re beautiful,” he mumbled.

“Mm... the bloodshot eyes? The tired dark circles? The gray skin? That does it for you?”

“M-hmm,” he pressed his nose along the side of her face inhaling the mixture of her hair and soap. He didn’t cater to her insults to herself. “Take the money back,” he mumbled into her ear and pressed a series of kisses down the length of her neck. She shook her head trying to ignore the dizziness she felt from his lips on her skin. “Please kitten,” he was begging. Objectively, it was adorable. But she couldn’t accept it.

“Baby, you can’t pay me a salary, pay my student loans, and let me live here all—”

“You’re going t’live here?” He pulled back from her neck suddenly with a sparkle in his eyes that made it look like he was a little kid. Like it was Christmas, and he was getting the sled he asked for.

Her face was definitely not gray at that moment. She was completely blushing almost beyond recognition at her mistaken words. She shook her head quickly, trying to backtrack (uselessly). “No! I meant the apartment! I didn’t say that—”

“Please, please, please,” he now for sure, full-on begged. “Please live here, kitten.”

Her heart fluttered and she bit her lip trying to recover from how much she had revealed by accident. “Well...what am I supposed to do with all my great IKEA furniture?” She asked.

He rolled his eyes and pressed his face back into her neck. She wrapped her arms and legs around him clinging to him. “Throw it out, of course.”

“You’re so mean.”

He nodded against her and sighed, so happy she was there. So happy she was all his. “The meanest,” he assented. “Please live here,” he mumbled kissing the curve where her shoulder and neck met.

“You do have a porch swing,” she amended verbally but as if she were weighing the consideration in her head. His lips on her skin had such an effect on her it was hard to stand her ground or concentrate on joking around with him about the idea. “Speaking of��Niall told me you asked if he wanted one. Are you getting a new one or someth—what’s that?” She asked, glancing out the window as she spoke. She pushed him away immediately, rushing outside. She stood on his porch in total shock staring at his newest purchase before she turned back to him with a curious expression.

He followed behind her and stood in the doorway. “You said you would sleep out here if you could,” he shrugged. “I thought I’d make it possible...in case you ever came back.”

Where her favorite porch swing used to hang, was now a spacious, gorgeous, porch bed with so many pillows, so many blankets, and it nearly looked comfier than her lovely mattress back at the apartment. Her eyes watered and she swallowed so hard because she knew she had said that nearly three months ago in passing. And he remembered. So even when she wasn’t speaking to him, it was enough that he did something for her without knowing if she’d really be back. “You are something else, Harry.”

“Wait till y’see my new canopy bed,” he smirked feeling his cheeks warm at her compliment. Her heart nearly stopped because the canopy was mentioned almost nine months ago and the idea that he remembered anything from nine months ago was...well it was very Harry and very perfect.

“Baby, I love you and your impulse shopping so very much,” she whispered unable to look away from that beautiful reminder of how much he adored her. It made her feel so light that he cared for her so much. Now that he did, it was hard to imagine not feeling like this ever again.

Harry had other ideas though. He twisted her so quickly, her breath caught in her throat. He turned her back to face him and not the new bed. One arm wrapped around her waist, and he brought his other hand to her cheek in the one instant that she couldn’t even stumble because Harry had such a tight hold on her. He smiled at her, as if he was just told he won the lottery. Truly, he felt like he did. “Say it again,” he mumbled pressing his forehead to hers, his lips almost brushing hers as he spoke. She smiled shyly, the heat coming from her cheek warmed Harry’s hand.

“Say what? I love you?” She asked looping her arms loosely around his neck. He nodded silently and kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you,” she grinned so cutely Harry thought he would burst.

“Again,” he mumbled smiling as he carefully squeezed around her waist to lift her just so her toes hovered above the ground. She giggled.

“I love you.”

He kissed her left cheek. “More,” he inched toward the new outdoor bed.

“I love you,” she whispered, giggling more at his sweet request as he kissed her right cheek.

“Again,” he repeated.

“I love you, so, so much Harry Styles,” she whispered, holding his face between her hands, and Harry laid her back on the bed and kissed her again, fully on the lips with no intention of leaving that space for the rest of the weekend. Or until she asked to go see the canopy bed.

Whatever she wanted.

--

taglist: @tpwkstiles @matildasatellite @jessitpwk @jerseygirlinca @stylesfever @tiredinwinter @ameerakane20 @kimmi-kat @avasversion @youcouldstartacult @likeapplejuicenpeach @manrocket-mo @golden-hoax @harryssky1 @michellekstyles @soachibstel1 @morklee02 @loving-hazz @harrysflorencex @cherrycolas-things @emma34501 @wish-upon-a-star-1310 @foreverxholland @daphnesutton @narry-heart

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :) When I do the extras/check-in blurbs I will tag you in those as well (unless you don't want to be, just lmk) Thank you all so much for being part of this nice little taglist for me, it's very special to me 💕

[gallus-rising]

mp100 horror fic recs 👻🎃

For a while now I've been thinking about mp100's amazing horror potential and how it really doesn't get enough attention. SO! For the spooky season why don't you settle down with a nice scary story ;D

All of these fics are complete and have no shipping. I've only linked 1 fic per author so this list doesn't get bloated, but all of these wonderful authors have other fics just waiting for you to read them ❤ Some definitely freaked me out more than others, but I'm not gonna give any particular ratings since "scary" is so subjective. All fics are properly tagged and you know your own limits better than I do.

Also feel free to add on your own recs!! My general reading preferences and parameters when making this list is only a small sampling, so please share any and all of your favs ❤ Hope you enjoy!

If you see an "N/A" instead of a Tumblr UN that means there wasn't one linked in either the fics' notes or author's bio. If you know the author or are the author yourself feel free to let me know so I can edit the post :] And now in no particular order I present:

The Immeasurable Dark: @tinkertoysdamn Immediately breaking my own "no ships" rule just this once because I can't resist a good House of Leaves inspired story! If you've read HoL is you know what's up. If not expect a fucked-up house and impossibly large spaces, funky text formatting and footnotes, maybe a minotaur. Ship featured is background established serirei.

a pilgrimage: @tooomuchtofu Divine Tree arc bad ending. Told from the PoV of an unnamed worshiper on their first visit to "the capital" aka an overgrown Seasoning City. Uses second person pov wonderfully to build the dread.

And Who Is Killing Me?: @sammisafetypin Koyama beats the shit outta Mob a little harder than in canon, hospitalizing him and delaying the 7th Division rescue arc by [TIME NOT FOUND]. The Awakening Lab kids are so minor I tend to forget they even exist, but oh my god does this author make you care about them! This fic is written with great suddenly swapping PoVs that keep you feeling off kilter without making you lose track of the story. It's the longest fic on this list by far but 100% worth every second of it. A real gut punch.

Adoration: (N/A) The Divine Tree takes a particular interest in Reigen. I don't think I've ever seen anyone properly touch on how creepy the Psycho Helm constructs themselves are like this fic has. God, those things freak me out so much. Features "shipping" in the sense of a sentient broccoli becoming fixated on a guy. Keep in mind that the Psycho Helms look like Mob if you think that'll squick you out, but for me personally it added to the horror.

Similarities: (N/A) Reigen receives a fucked up email. Ends on the sillier side, but BOY is that email fucked up!

The Water Ran Clean: @bandtrees A Mogami-mentors-Mob AU and a damn fine one at that. Love the sort of fragmented style it's written in, and the exploration of Mogami's fucked up moral code is great. There's some Choice viscerally described imagery here 👌👌 Features a drawing of Mob covered in blood just in case that freaks you out; but worry, it's not his :]

An Outlier Among a Sea of Common Denominators: @hebezunet A rewrite of the early Divine Tree arc that asks the question we've all been too scared to consider: What if the brainwashing was like cordyceps? In particular I want to highlight the opening scene where after eating the broccoli powder cookies Teru has to physically rip florets out of his body to resist being brainwashed. Very gnarly stuff.

Prison Surveillance: (N/A) Touichirou was a very bad boss so Hatori pulls a The Ring to torment him in Psychic Supermax Prison. Was written pre-season 3 so Hatori doesn't work for the government.

Stairs: (N/A) Reigen and Mob have a job in the woods. There are some stairs. Inspired by an r/nosleep story which the author links to if you'd like to check that out as well.

Fight, Flight, or Fraud: @cowardlybean So everyone's got a really specific supernatural fear, right? Something that could absolutely never happen in real life but when you see it in media it freaks you the fuck out? Mine is someone I know being killed and replaced by an evil doppelganger and I'm the only one who knows. I've not seen anything since The Magnus Archives that's properly captured that fear like this fic, which is some of the highest praise I can bestow.

In Quicksand: @ghoststrawberries Reigen catches a nasty cold and by that I mean he gets possessed. Very fun the way Reigen's train of thought and feeling shifts around as the evil spirit tries to influence him while he's unconsciously resisting it. The scene where the gang realizes Reigen's been possessed is a real "OOOOOH, SHIT!!!" moment, but I won't spoil ;D

Playing Human: (N/A) Espers and psychic powers might not be real but spirits are. Poor baby Mob is a ghost possessing his own dead body. Features Dimple as the bad guy.

Mithridatism: If I may be so self-indulgent to list one of my own fics here :3 Absorbing evil spirits while still alive was actively killing Mogami and I wanted to dig into that! Features my Signature™ (lol) "HEY, DON'T EAT THAT!!" style of body horror.

[purple-plum-petals]

Hi! I love reading your works and I have a little request if you don't mind for a Jade x Reader.

I really just want a short where the reader is making their Halloween costume (a mushroom fairy) and surprises Jade with it. It'd be even cuter if the mushroom that the reader got inspiration from also happened to be a favorite of Jade's.

⊱ A Tailor-Made Coshroom ⊰ || Jade Leech X Reader

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮        Character(s): Jade Leech, Floyd Leech, Azul Ashengrotto, Grim (Twisted Wonderland)        Reader Type: Human, Ramshackle Prefect (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) – Reader is mentioned to be shorter than Floyd and Jade.        Warning(s): Brief Mentions of Blood, but Besides That, Nothing! I also always use the Japanese TWST Terms (Dorm Leader instead of Housewarden, Madols instead of Thaumarks, etc.) in my writing.        Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Attempt at Comedy, Romantic or Platonic Relationship (It Can Technically be Read as Either since Nothing is Stated Directly, but it Does Lean More on the Romantic Side of Things)        Word Count: ~1,900 words        Request: “Hi! I love reading your works and I have a little request if you don't mind for a Jade x Reader. I really just want a short where the reader is making their Halloween costume (a mushroom fairy) and surprises Jade with it. It'd be even cuter if the mushroom that the reader got inspiration from also happened to be a favorite of Jade's.”        Author’s Note: I’m overjoyed to hear you enjoy my works; thank you so much for reading! This ask has been sitting in my inbox for quite some time but, since spooky-season is right around the corner, I thought now would be the perfect time for me to post this. I’ve been lacking a lot of motivation when it comes to writing as of late, but I’m hoping I can pump out at least one request every week from now on until my inbox is cleared out. I actually started my Master’s program, so hopefully I’ll have time to be able to write for enjoyment rather than just for academics. 😅 I hope this is alright; I have to admit, I’m a bit rusty haha. (Also, just a PSA, the ending is supposed to be cute I swear – it’s just Jade acting a little more childish like Floyd and was not intended to be creepy! I didn’t want this to get too long since it was supposed to be a shorter piece, but I had no idea where to end it. 😔) Also, yes, the title is a pun on costume/mushroom – yes, I couldn’t think of another title.

→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated!  ♡ ╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Halloween was inching closer and closer by the day and you didn’t have much more time to complete your costume. So, as soon as you were finished with class for the day, you immediately returned to Ramshackle, cooping yourself up in your room until it was time to make you and Grim dinner. You had been working non-stop on your costume for the past week or so, powering through the many times you’ve pricked your finger with your accursed sewing needle. You couldn’t even count the numerous occasions that Grim or the ghosts had to help bandage your hands up after all your slip-ups at this point.

You had come up with an idea nearly a month ago and wanted to make it a reality with your own two hands – this year for Halloween, you would be a mushroom fairy! You had thought the idea was pretty cute, plus it was a simple enough costume to make considering all the DIY videos you could find on the internet. While it most certainly wouldn’t be unique by any means, hopefully your classmates would be able to appreciate the work you had put into it.

Your costume was based on the Fly Agaric mushroom, also known as Amanita Muscaria, simply because it was an iconic mushroom with its recognizable red-and-white-dotted cap. It was also one of your upperclassmen’s favorite species of mushroom, but that wasn’t the reason why you chose it – it was just a coincidence, you swear.

Right now, you were currently finishing up your mushroom cap, sewing on a few final details into the red fabric considering Halloween was now only two days away at this point. You were certainly excited to be able to show off your costume to your friends, and you were hoping you’d get a genuine reaction out of the previously-mentioned upperclassman. After about another twenty minutes, you had completed adding all of the small white beads to your hat. With a wide smile, you held your costume out in front of you. It was finally ready, and you couldn’t wait to see what everyone thought of it at the party.

Before you knew it, it was finally Halloween and – after weeks of hard work and bloody fingertips – you were finally able to wear your costume! You already had gotten quite a few compliments from some of your friends, but you had a specific upperclassman in mind you knew would absolutely love what you were wearing. You were currently scanning the room to see if you could find him, trying to spot his signature teal hair among the large body of students. It shouldn’t be too hard to find him considering how tall he was, but you ended up finding his brother before you could him.

“Hey Floyd! Happy Halloween!” You said with a smile, making your way over to one of the school’s biggest menaces. Floyd’s face seemed to light up when he saw you, a bright yet somewhat intimidating grin spreading across his features.

His sharp teeth were at full display as he made his way over to you, waving as he said in a sing-song tone, “Shrimpy~, there you a–!” However, once he seemed to register your costume, his smile immediately faded as he questioned with a slight scowl, “…What are you wearing?”

“I’m a mushroom fairy! Pretty cute, right?” You told him in return, pride filling your chest as you gestured towards your outfit.

“Ew, no – mushrooms are gross.” Floyd said with a grimace, looking almost disappointed with you.

“What? No they’re not! They’re absolutely adorable!” You told him in return, placing your hands on your hips as you stood your ground.

“Ugh – you’ve been hangin’ out with Jade too much. He’s a bad influence on you.” Floyd said, coming over and placing his arm on your shoulder as he leaned into you with his taller form. He had the habit of using you like an armrest every now and again, a habit that he had picked up months ago at this point.

“Arguably, I think you’re a worse influence.” You said with a slight huff, trying to keep yourself balanced considering you had a giant leaning against you. You moved the hat on your head out of the way so you could glance up at Floyd, asking him, “Where is your brother, by the way? I’ve been looking all over for him.”

“Last time I saw him, he was with Azul by the food table.” Floyd said, glancing down at you in return. However, once your eyes met, a wide smirk began growing on his face. As he poked your cheek slightly with his index finger, he asked teasingly, “Why, you wanna show him your adorable costume? Ehehehe, you’re getting bold, Shrimpy.”

“You know what? I think I’m done with this conversation.” You bluntly stated, quickly removing yourself from under his weight as Floyd laughed out loud at your slightly flushed face; you didn’t get why he liked teasing you so much. He didn’t seem fazed by it at all by your sudden movement either, immediately returning to his usual posture as though he hadn’t been putting all of his weight on you just mere moments ago.

“Good luck~ – I’m rooting for you!” Floyd said with a shit-eating grin, waving to you as you left that conversation before he could embarrass you any further.

You weaved in and out of the sea of your classmates, looking for the food table since that was the only lead you had to go off of. You knew you probably had all night to show your costume to Jade who was arguably the person who would appreciate it the most, but a part of you just wanted to show him now. Thankfully, as the snack table came into view, you saw both Jade and Azul who seemed to be talking with one another. Azul was drinking what seemed to be fruit punch, a slight scowl on his face as he glared down at the cup in his hand, while Jade seemed absolutely delighted by his companion’s utter look of distaste.

“Note to self,” You thought, “Don’t try the punch.”

Now was the perfect opportunity for a scare, though, so you tried to make yourself as small as possible which was honestly quite difficult given the size of your hat. You slowly closed in on Azul and Jade, the former seeming to notice your presence but deciding not to say anything as you snuck up beside Jade, jumping up slightly as you exclaimed, “Boo!”

“Ah, Prefect, it’s nice to see y–…” Jade said with a smile as he turned slightly to look at you, his words tapering off as soon as you two made eye contact.

You grinned up at both of them, saying happily, “Happy Halloween you two!”

“Yes, happy Halloween to you as well.” Azul said, throwing his cup of punch into a nearby trash can as he asked you with a slight smirk, “Not going to say ‘trick or treat’ to me again this year, hmm?”

“Nope – I think I learned my lesson from last year… but, if you happen to have any treats you’d like to give out, I’ll happily take some!” You said with a smile, watching as Azul pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. Jade was still looking at you, not having said anything besides his unfinished greeting.

One of Azul’s brows rose in question as he asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at you as if you had grown a second head, “Since when did I become someone who just gives out things?”

“Since we became friends, duh – friends do nice things for friends, no strings attached!” You told him honestly; after all, you considered the three most terrifying influential members of the Octavinelle dorm to be your friends. While you definitely did not have the best start with any of them, you really didn’t have a lot of good first impressions (or experiences) with any of your friends at NRC. Somehow throughout the past year, though, you had grown to be quite close with the octo-trio.

He seemed to think for a moment, glancing over at Jade before smiling and muttering slightly, “Hmm… I have an idea of something nice I could do for both of you, then.” He then suddenly began to walk away, waving slightly as he departed as he spoke, “I’ll talk to you later if we run into each other again – have fun, Prefect.”

“Oh, uh… you too?” You managed to say, waving to him as well despite how confused you were at the whole situation. Why did he just leave? How exactly was ditching in the middle of your conversation doing something nice?? You know, sometimes Azul was just as much an enigma as the twins were.

“Well, that was kind of weird…” You muttered to yourself before returning all of your attention to Jade, smiling up at him as you gestured towards your attire, “So, what do you think about my costume Jade? Believe it or not, I even managed to make it all by myself.”

He had been watching Azul’s retreating form with a slight frown on his face as he muttered under his breath, “…He’s going to make me repay him for this, isn’t he?”

“Hmm? What was that, Jade?” You asked, not having quite heard what he had said. Between the noisiness of the party and the height difference between the two of you, it was difficult to hear anyone if they weren’t speaking louder than usual.

Jade just looked down at you, his smile returning full-force as he said, “Oh, it’s nothing you have to worry about.”

Before you could even ask him what that meant by that, Jade reached forward to hold the ruffles that lined the bottom of your hat in between his fingers as he inspected it, telling you with a slight hint of interest in his voice, “Your costume is quite impressive; you did a very good job, you know.” He paused for a moment to ask you, looking down at your form with his mismatched eyes, “Say, what made you decide to pick the Fly Agaric mushroom, hmm?”

“I mean, probably it’s an iconic mushroom, you know? Like, I’m pretty sure everyone knows what this one looks like even if they don’t know its name.” You told him, taking a moment to think about whether you wanted to admit the second part out loud. Well, you might as well be completely honest with him – after all, he could very easily get the truth out of you if he wanted to, “Plus… isn’t it one of your favorite mushrooms? I just thought you’d appreciate it, is all.”

Jade’s face was unsettlingly blank for a long time before an arguably terrifying smirk grew across his face as he lightly pinched one of your cheeks in between his fingers, “My, you’re too cute, Prefect. I could just eat you up right now.”

“Really Jade? Now isn’t the time to joke around like that… I mean, you are joking, right?” You asked, glancing up at him; however, Jade said nothing in return, the grin on his face only widening. You could feel your blood run cold as you asked him, a nervous smile on your face as you said, “…Do I at least get a head-start?”

He seemed to think for a moment, standing up straight before telling you with a smile, “Go ahead – I’ll be a little more courteous to you than my brother usually is. Now, let’s have some fun, hm?”

[hegoeshardasfuck]

dirty mind

wordcount: 0.7K

tags: sexting, unresolved sexual tension

synopsis: as much he's a good Weapon, he's also a bother sometimes

authors note: written for day 2 of kinktober! might be late to port some of them onto tumblr, but i hope ya'll enjoy!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59395495

Soul should know better than to reach for his phone as he waits for Death to declare his mission, but it's just so boring being a Death Scythe. He doesn't really ever get wielded by Death anyways, just lounges about. No wonder Spirit ended up spending so much time at Chupa Cabra's.

There's nothing to do except sit and wait.

And bother Maka.

He grins as he takes his leave with a dumb excuse of heading off for a walk. Death doesn't care enough to stop him, he never really used Soul anyways. He much preferred his twin pistols even now.

Soul meanders aimlessly until he finds a hidden little corner he's known of for years now. He drops down on the ground and opens up his phone before texting Maka "hey," with a slutty amount of y's.

yeah soul?

mmmmmmmnothing

bullshit

i just cant wait to get home

?

its sooo boring working for DTK these days, death scythe is not a good job

things were better when your hands were on me 24/7

im flattered

at least we still live together, no? god i cannot imagine living apart

itd be awful

yeah you got plans tonight? the usual

nothing?

nada zilch im free if youre free

someones eager

what do you have in mind? the usual actually wait are you teaching rn?

nope kids are all off on missions

okay great the usual being me fucking you hard

how hard?

stars

what happens if i fuck you? what then? you and i both know theres a strap under the bed, one that you looove to ride on

i doubt you could make me see stars

then gimme more to work with make this conversation something to read back on when youre on the job

alright alright well to start off our night i think i'd eat you out strip you down, piece by piece hold your thighs, one in each hand and work my way up i'd bite

how much?

bloody amounts

hot

now, i'd bite alllllll the way up your thighs not stopping for even a second, not even if you gripped my head by then i'd already be deep in your cunt fingers and tongue, one hand on your ass

so we're seated?

im on the ground

like the dog you are

you know i'd bark for you any day of the week

and you're on the edge of the bed my hands are in your hair pulling you closer

right right, im mashed up against you in the pussy having a great time leaving no scraps behind absolutely eating

soul.

getting off track sorry queen where was i......... right im in the pussy you cum once

im a little bit worn clawing into your scalp

i dont mind it at all when i can finally back away to breath i wipe down my lips then im back on you slowly pushing you down to the bed

slowly?

hastily i am hastily pushing you to the bed not slamming you, but im not going slow this definitely isnt our first time

definitely not

so youre down, laid out before me so pretty and i immediately start kissing on you lips, neck, chest, all of it nothing new but i should touch back on old territory

mhm

one hand on the mattress one hand on your leg usually you do the work ride me peg me fuck me itll be different tonight though

oh? you really think so?

i know it i'll take you so slow its agonizing missionary style too youll be begging before you know it if you thought i was a tease before im beyond unbearable now every single inch of your skin is gonna be mine only my hands will truly know it my lips as well i could go for a few rounds as many as you like no time for breaks in between creampied thoroughly by the end of it all i think thats where i'd call it a day lick you clean, make sure you're perfect we could sleep afterwards or watch a movie

you better hold true to this tonight

we'll see if DTK gets a mission for me might be too worn out if he does

youre a fucking tease

and you love it

i know

[gothsuguru]

omg I'm the anon who was talking about "black is the colour" ur so cute omds 😭😭 but no fr i felt like crying when I read it for the first time its genuinely so beautiful if that fic was a person I'd propose there and then. also YES I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANY RECOMMENDATIONS FOR FANFICS PLEASE FEED ME O FANFICALICIOUS ONE 🙏🙏🙏 also O M F G IM SO EXCITED FOR A PREMONITION OF LOVE DONTTTT GET ME STARTED IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET U DONT UNDERSTAND u are a really amazing writer yk like srsly those thoughts swirling in ur brain its like woah

WAHHHHHH I LOVE YOU SM ANON PLEASE KNOW IF THAT FIC WAS A PERSON THEY WOULD ACCEPT YOUR PROPOSAL IMMEDIATELY!!!!! <333 MWAH! AND OMG THANK YOU SM I HOPE I CAN WRITE IT WELL (i have soooooo many ideas and please… sniffles… you’re so sweet i swear the self confidence boost you gave me… it’s too dangerous friend 🙂‍↕️🩷) ALSO I’M ASSUMING FOR FIC RECS YOU MEANT FLUFF ONES BUT LET ME KNOW IF YOU EVER WANT ME TO DO OTHER RECS!

there’s are just a few fics that i love so much and truly all of these people are such amazing writers <333 i’ll put a couple down below — in no particular order! :D

“tuesdays” by my beloved io <3 — MY FAVORITE SATORU FIC AND POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE FLUFF FIC IN GENERAL OF ALL TIME RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH no one understands how much peculiar!satoru means to me… this is my favorite rendition of satoru EVER. there’s just something about how io dove into a facet of satoru’s personality that i never really thought about — aka his peculiarities — that just GENUINELY made my brain short-circuit in the best way possible. it was about his awkwardness, seriousness, silliness, & inability to read certain social cues/situations that made me really enamored honestly 😭 also reader was SO real and so fun and was there for satoru in terms of his personal growth! ALSO the story premise was just so unique in GENERAL omfg it was the first fic where i maxed out 30 tags like i didn’t know tumblr had tag limits until i read io’s fic and i just had so much more to say too 😭 WE WEREN’T MOOTS YET WHEN I READ IT BUT TRUST IF WE WERE I WOULD’VE RB’D W 10 PAGES MLA FORMAT ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY!!!!! BC I’M REAL LIKE THAT!!!!!! i wish i could read this fic all over again omfg io’s love for satoru and her writing prowess shines through massively in this fic <3 (i also love “strawberry fields” it’s another one of my FAVS NDNDNDJDJ satoru going on reddit and being clowned for date ideas by sukuna will always make me giggle like one thing about sukie… he’ll pray on a bad bitch’s downfall…) ok sorry this one got so long i’m just the Biggest Proponent of “tuesdays” it holds a very dear place in my heart :3

“two is never a crowd” by @mossmotif — ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAV SATORU FICS EVERRRRRRRR i can’t explain to you how much moss’ writing affects me………. okay i Can and Will . MOSS’ WRITING IS ONE OF A KIND I HAVE NOTHING TO COMPARE IT TO BC IT’S SUCH IN A LEAGUE OF ITS OWN!!!!! i think it’s the way that they have 1) the most interesting concepts & character dynamics first and foremost that gets me bc how does one even think of a stablehand!reader? and how is it that it fits so UNBELIEVABLY perfectly with a royal!gojo??? i remember reading the fic for the first time and i was just in awe of how it felt like i was THERE which leads me to point 2) the way moss uses settings to invoke emotion is insane……… from the blood and dark clearings and metal of knight!suguru to the purgatory of youth of suguru & reader and how they connect with sharing fruit to the quaint yet vast green openness of the fields where stablehand!reader works with their horses which then invites satoru in bc the reader just holds a Steadiness and Calmness that infiltrates everyone around them………… all of it is just delicious. JUST YUMMY. (also vamp!suguru? very cunty very sexy i need him CARNALLY.) also for moss… if you’ve ever read a fic of theirs you’re just gonna Understand how insane it is that he’ll just drop the most life-changing quote/paragraph and then go about the story like . Can I Get My Inhaler For A Second I Can’t Breathe……… i HEAVILY implore you to read any moss fic you can because you will get grittiness in one, nostalgia in another, fluff in one, and eroticism in another . just truly and honestly a league of their own when it comes to fic writing <333 this is an i love moss stan account idgaf

“weeping, carved open hearts” by @teddybeartoji — ONE OF MY FAV TOJI FICS EVER RAHHHHHHHHH this one is more hurt/comfort WHICH IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TYPES OF FICS!!!!! i hold toji so close to my heart and mickey writes him so GENUINELY and so three-dimensionally — she makes him feel like a REAL person in the world with all his faults and insecurities and above all else — his LOVE! it’s like mickey plucks the beauty of the mundanity of real life such as a tree in a storm or a shampoo bottle or even a simple emotion like sadness and CURATES it into something so profoundly beautiful… genuinely he left me in shock & awe with how STUNNING this fic was and how REAL the emotions were from both reader & toji, it was like i was a fly on the wall just watching a true & genuine conversation play out! out of all the tags i have ever written on a fic, i’m most proud of the tags i left on mickey’s fic bc i think it’s the first time where i didn’t just regurgitate information and actually took in what was written by the author & made my own inferences and basically Used My Brain while also waxing poetic about mickey’s writing & the fic :3 ALSO YOU HAVE TO READ “I HUNGER TO COMMIT THE ACT OF TOUCH” . ALL PARTS YOU NEED TO READ ALL PARTS SO FAR AND GET YOUR LIFE CHANGED!!!!! the action the blood the yearning the eroticism the KNIGHTS. moaned loud as FUCK that’s my bad

“where you lead me, i’ll follow” by @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat — THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PROSE AND LIFE-CHANGING WRITING YOU WILL EVER READ! i remember reading this fic and being in complete and utter awe because it never once felt like i was READING something, it was like i was LIVING it! the conversations on that rooftop played out like a movie in my head and that’s genuinely the greatest compliment i could ever give — i felt like i was privy to a conversation that was so intimate between two people (suguru & reader) and i felt so CONNECTED to the writing and the emotions invoked through the writing! ari has such a beautiful way of showing the power of adoration/devotion within friendships/relationships and they just have such a strong GRASP on the characterizations of suguru depending on the vibes of the fic they’re creating. this fic especially talked about genuine feelings that people in their late teens/early twenties go through and idk i just felt so much better after reading it :’) all of ari’s writing invokes something in anyone who reads it, they truly have THE midas touch! <3 also i could add so many more fics underneath the fluff/sfw category but i highly recommend going through their masterlist and finding out for yourself how consistently amazing, thought-provoking, & gorgeously atmospheric their writing is! <333 definitely my favorite suguru writer on the planet 🫡 like genuinely just go through their entire MASTERLIST it’s ALL hits 🙂‍↕️

“metanoia” by @storiesoflilies — RAHHHHHHH okay for metanoia……….. if you have EVER read a lily fic you will KNOW how stunning her writing is. like you can’t help but just be so INVESTED especially because her love for toji shines through every word, you see the way reader talks about toji and fall in love with him AS you’re reading!!!! i think her grasp on his character is second to none in this fic especially for a younger toji — he’s shy & awkward & rough around the edges but at the end of the day, i think all he wants is love and reader is there to give it to him and vice versa :’) the beautiful ways that lily interspersed physics and romance………. when i tell you my JAW dropped. the quotes in this fic will have your mind reeling from how insanely good it is omfg… and YES the ending is a cliffhanger BUT she’s coming out with “hiraeth” soon and i was lucky enough to read it in advance and let me tell you………. you are in for a TREAT! ALSO PLEASE READ “CRIMSON REVERIE” IT’S REALLY AMAZING AND SO GORGEOUS <333 i love greek myth and then intersperse that with lily’s prose??? YAWPPPPPP

“i want to kiss you” by @arminsumi — okay i wanted to add this bc it is my favorite fic series of all time and i’ll tell you why… the absolute LOVE and ADORATION that satoru & suguru have for reader is astounding and the idea of a blossoming friendship between people from different cultures is so fucking precious… i genuinely have never read a fic w this premise/concept before and it is truly SO unbelievably beautiful :’) op does a WONDERFUL job of creating a soft, HUMAN atmosphere/friendship -> relationship between reader & satosugu :’) i can’t WAIT to read the next chapter hehe i truly recommend this fic series with every fiber of my being <333

[allastoredeer]

I just found some Hazbin Hotel leaks, pre-being pick up by A24 and, do you know we could have had an episode where Charlie meets all the Deadly Sins? We were absolutely robbed of a pretty good filler episodes before the big finale with heaven.

Here's link to the leaks: https://imgur.com/a/nCorcZq

In case the link doesn't work, you can also look at this tumblr post: https://www.tumblr.com/hellaverse-critical-confessions/727383242254204928/hello-the-pre-a24-leaks-anon-again-heres-link?source=share

I really hope they use some of this old concepts on the next season cause they seem quite funny and interesting. Those ideas could help flush the characters out a bit more and the worldbuilding. What do you think?

Me writing notes while reading the leaks:

OOOH HOO WE GOT SOME WONDERFUL CHARACTER INSIGHTS! Especially with Husk!

“Angel and Charlie drag Husk out to a carnival show to show him the not-so-sleazy side of life. This proves difficult with Husk being raised to know nothing but crime and no experience with innocent fun.”

Husk has no experience with innocent fun. He only knows the sleazy side of life T.T Also he has mob connections 👀That is good to know. I find that so, so interesting. It explains it grim outlook on life. Why he's hardly every smiling or having fun. I think one of the first times we actually see him smile is after fighting those shark demons with Angel Dust in "Masquerade."

Now that I'm thinking about it, he smiles a lot more after that. Or, at least from what I remember. I might need to rewatch the show (for the dozenth time, LMAO). But, that kind also goes to show how much this guy needs friends. Good relationships. Connections outside of crime, which is all he's known all his life.

I WANT HUSK TO HAVE PURE, DUMB FUN AND TO LAUGH AND SMILE AND IM SOBBING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

Also love delving more into Vaggie too. How she's incredible responsible, but controlling. After reading through a few of the episode description about her, my personal headcanon/take is that she still has a bit of that "angels are superior" mindset in the way that when she challenges Maxine, she's quickly reminded of her own limits when she's defeated "very easily." It's like what Carmilla was saying in the show. The angels are arrogant in their fighting. They leave themselves open, they're brash, and uncoordinated because they're not used to fighting demons who can actually fight back.

As far as we've seen, all of their victims are regular demons. None of the Overlords. Well, except Carmilla that one time, and she'd taken down the Exorcists with relative ease because she knows how to fight, and she's powerful. Given that this is the first time an Exorcist has been killed, and the first time we hear about an Overlord being attacked during the Extermination, I assume not a lot of Exorcists come face to face with the Overlords.

So, this kind of brash arrogance still lingering in Vaggie, who see's a demon talking down to her and automatically challenges them to a fight, only to lose immediately. Then her falling back into her insecurities that if she's not able to protect/fight for something/someone, than she's useless (which is ANOTHER thing she's learned from her time as an Exorcist angel--if she's unable to fight for the cause, what use does she have?). It's like this double-edged sword, and I'm rahhhhhh I'm gnawing on it.

ALSO ALSO, getting not only one annual event held in Hell, but TWO! "Hells Weapons Exo," (which I like to think Vox co-hosts with Carmilla, as she is a weapons manufacturer, and Vox is the guy to go to if you're looking to sell/buy something. Also, Vox HAS to have a showmanship side of him. Like, a legitimate showy, entertainer side--which I also like to think is what brought him and Alastor together before their, uh, falling out.)

Their second event being "Challenge Day" where lower tiered demons can challenge higher tiered demons for control over souls? I interpreted this in two ways, 1) challenging a higher tiered demon for the souls they already own, or 2) challenging the person who owns your soul as a way to get it back - both of which I really like. It actually fits really well with some of the world-building I've been doing for the last few days, so I am eating it up.

ALSO THE FACT THAT THERE'S A ROYAL BALL HELD AFTER "CHALLENGE DAY." My RadioApple brain LATCHED onto that so quickly. Imagine Lucifer taking Alastor to the royal ball as his date T.T I wanna see them all dressed up fancy, and I want them to dance, and dsofslknjljblkjbj FUUUUUUCK

Thank you SO Much for sending me this! I am soaking up these lore pieces like a sponge.

It also mentions Angel and Charlie taking Husk to a carnival show, which makes me wonder if there are places like carnivals open in Pentagram City, or if it's similar to the traveling circus thing Blitz grew up in. Like, do hellborn demons who doing travelling circus/carnivals just go through all the rings, one-by-one, including the Pride Ring? That way the Sinners get to get in on it too? AH! I just love thinking about it.

Thank you thank you I am feasting so much right now.

(THIS ALSO MAKES ME SO UPSET ABOUT STUDIOS LIMITING SERIES DOWN TO 8-10 EPISODES A SEASON, WE COULD'VE GOTTEN SO MUCH CONTENT AND WORLD BUILDING IF THEY'D GIVEN VIVZIE AND HER TEAM A PROPER SEASON TO BUILD IT ALL UP AND GRRRRRRRR)

Oh, also, I just realized I didn't answer your original question about the Sins, GOD I wish we got that. I want to see Charlie interacting with all the Sins so badly. Though, I suppose with Amazon not really owning Hazbin Hotel, where all the Sin's have been showing up, I wonder if they'd be able to do an episode like at all.

I don't know. Things to think about.

But to sum up! Thank you so much for this! I know this answer kind of went on long LOL, but you have given me so much brain food and I am eternally grateful 🙏

[1moreff-creator]

Matching the DRDT Characters with their Roman Numeral Quote (LGI MV)

So, I immediately fell in love with newest Literature Girl Insane MV, and I have to drop everything I’m doing just so I can talk about it. Although there is so much to discuss I don’t even know where to begin, one thing which immediately caught my eye was the crosswords which flashes on the screen for a moment.

As many have figured out, it’s made up of the names of everyone in the cast, plus Mai Akasaki, minus David. As the footnote on “Now” says, it’s better to use full names instead of nicknames (such as Julia instead of J) and to exclude the protagonist of the MV.

Here’s the solution by raspbeyes, who I believe may have been the first person to upload it to Tumblr.

However, what’s really interesting is that, by the nature of a crosswords, it connects all characters with a Roman numeral. And these Roman numerals show up throughout the video, attached to different sentences. That way, you can connect the characters to these sentences. And so, you get some pretty interesting stuff. With that in mind, I went through and collected all the Roman numerals (it’s not very difficult, apart from one exception), and I wanted to share my thoughts on them.

Now, the numbers don’t actually show up chronologically for the most part, and the only real logic they seem to follow is “they show up after the crossword flashed on screen”. I’ve decided to list them in the order of the actual number instead of the chronological order, as I don’t find the latter to be very important (apart from one case).

That said, I will actually start by number two, since number one is a bit of a special case. You’ll see. For now:

II - Rose ~ Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum

We have some latin to kick things off! “Ego cogito ergo sum” is the ever famous “I think therefore I am” philosophy, but in latin! This phrase (from what I understand) claims that the only thing we can be truly and absolutely sure exists, is our own reasoning and consciousness. This fits Rose decently well, as she’s established her photographic memory causes her trouble separating what’s real, what’s a memory, what’s a dream, etc. Even more so, it sorta fits with the song “Cartoons” from the now vanished character playlist, which some theories placed as Rose’s.

However, there is also the addition of “turbatus” to the saying. Turbatus, from a quick Google search, means something like “disturbed”. Thus, the full meaning is something like “I think, therefore I am disturbed”. This fits Rose even better, considering her scene with Teruko and Nico in the dress-up room. Don’t think I have to go too far in explaining this one.

III - Charles ~ If you doubt brittle things are broken

So, is this about his dead brother he doesn’t remember? As in, “if you doubt your memories, as they’re brittle, they’ll break? Or is this talking about the relationships between the cast? “Distrust will lead to our collapse”, sorta fits the talk he had with Teruko early in chapter 2.

However, I actually lean more towards the brother thing, because of the blue, long quote which is flipped upside down on top of the image.

“And now here’s my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”

So, here’s where the Roman numerals become sorta weird. Does this count as part of Charles’ quote or not? I assume it’s at least related, especially seeing some of the other stuff we’ll see in the background.

Now, to the actual quote. I recognize it as a quote from the fox in “The Little Prince”, a book which if you have not read, you should honestly read. It’s a surprisingly sweet book to attach to Charles, but I can honestly see him blushing while talking about it, so it fits.

The quote itself is simple to understand; the material things in the world are not as important as our feelings, relationships, hopes, dreams, all that which can only be seen with the heart. This could be talking about the group’s relationships like I mentioned, but I lean more on thinking it’s referring to the memories of our loved ones, aka, Charles’ memories of his brother. Yes, the fact the quote starts by talking about secrets influences this interpretation.

IV - Arei ~ Right now, why do you cry?

Not much to talk about here. Arei’s the victim of this chapter, that’s why she cries. You can read into it a bit more and claim it has to do with Arei’s bullying of other people (“why are you crying, you wimp?” is something which could conceivably come out of her mouth), or more optimistically, it’s talking about how Arei used to only cry crocodile tears, but as she’s grown more empathetic, she now cries for her friends. Or some sappy shit like that.

Yeah, it’s still probably just about being the CH 2 victim.

V - Ace ~ Right now, why do you go insane? [flipped]

I’m not gonna lie, I kinda laughed a bit when I checked which character this one belonged to. Yeah, it’s pretty fitting, Ace is always going off for the most inane stuff.

More interesting is perhaps the background quote, “a cat has 9 additional lives”. Considering we’re talking about one of two people who’ve survived murder attempts so far, it makes sense, though I wonder if it’s going to come into play again later.

… Also, this just confirms in my mind the song from the playlist which belonged to Ace was “Yesman”. Undead, undead! and all that. I swear I’ll make a post about it eventually, I’m just more focused on this at the moment.

VI - Arturo ~ mind exercise 1 2 3 4

… Uh, well, as a surgeon, he do be exercising that mind though? Or something like that. Yeah, frankly I got nothing. This is just another moment where we Arturo enjoyers gotta take the L.

(Yes, I did just come out as an Arturo enjoyer-)

VII - J ~ Do it like that, let’s live together!

Another one I have no answer for. Like, what do you want me to say, this implies J’s the mastermind? Because it sort of does, seeing as she’s telling everyone to live together. But I really don’t see anything too interesting in the main quote.

However, the background quote may be more noteworthy. Anything in brackets is covered by something else but can be guessed with context.

“The Moral La[w] causes the people to be in com[plete accord] with their ruler, so that they wi[ll f]ollo[w] [him] regard[less of] their lives, undis[mayed] by any danger”

Had to look this one up. J’s quote is from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War” of all goddamn things. The Moral Law the quote is talking about is, from basic research in Google, some sort of unity of purpose; the idea that if the followers and the rules have the same interests, their side will have an advantage in war.

… What?

Yeah, this one’s a bit odd too. For now, my best answer is that it may have to do more with Mariabella than J herself. If you see Mariabella as a sort of leader, and her fans as the followers, it could be talking about how the combined pressure of Mariabella and the media overwhelm J, the “other side” of the “war”.

But if you’re really into the mastermind J idea, you can read it as “she’s the leader of the killing game, with the followers being the people at home that have the same purpose of wanting to see despair and keep the show running by watching”. But I really doubt we’d be getting this sort of mastermind allusions in an MV from chapter 2 of all things.

If anyone has better ideas on this quote or any other, I’d love to hear them.

VIII - Nico ~ even if i try to think, idk!

Another one I can’t talk too much about. My best guess as to what this means is “Nico tries to think about social cues, but doesn’t get it”. Relatable, but also nothing new. Maybe I’m missing something big, but it’s what I got for now.

IX - Levi ~ look, aside from the usual, give me that medicine

Disclaimer, the words don’t actually appear in that order in the MV, but this phrase makes a lot more sense than “look aside from that the usual medicine give me”.

I really don’t know what this means. I mean, I can guess Levi might take some medicine? Whit did say some people took prescriptions apparently. But I really don’t quite understand why this is the first time we’ve had his character associated with medicine.

EDIT: The last few paragraphs about Levi are dead wrong, I’m just leaving by them up so you can laugh at how stupid I was. Here’s a correction with a better analysis.

The background quote doesn’t make it much better. It’s just talking about the orbit of a thing, something something representative trajectory… something something Jupiter… something something 1930…

Oh shit, it’s about the discovery of Pluto! That’s what Google seems to think when I put those keywords in, anyways. Well, as fun an astronomy tale as that one is, I actually have no idea what it means for Levi’s character. I guess it’s something we’ll see in the future.

… Or maybe, crazy idea. You know how Pluto was first thought to be a “planet” but then got reclassified as”dwarf planet”? Maybe this means my theory is right: Levi will get “discovered” as the blackened of the second trial, but then “reclassified” as an accomplice when they find out Eden is actually-

Alright, I’ll stop. I’m joking, obviously… (unless?)

X - Min ~ Democratic-ly

Wait, hold on a second, you may say. That is an X, but it doesn’t really look like the rest of roman numerals font-wise. There are plenty of times X’s appear in the video aside from here, such as… well, the blank death portrait that’s always in the background.

And yes. To my joy, Min got given a bit of special treatment, since the roman numeral for ten, being an X and all, can be seen all throughout the video. However, there is one reason I believe this is absolutely Min’s X.

You see that tiny little 10 next to the X? That’s a footnote. And footnote number 10 is “The Roman numeral for 10 is X”. Of course, the reason we’re reminded of it here is because that X isn’t just a bunch of blood, it’s a Roman numeral.

Of course, Min gets the biggest numeral because she is just that much of a girlboss.

Anyways, numeral oddity aside, it’s pretty obvious why this is Min’s. The background text is just the description of the rules of a class trial, a trial where the outcome is decided democratically, and the reason Min died. This scene is directly followed by more references to class trials, which although they have some interesting implications for the MV as a whole, only help to solidify Min’s connection to her line.

As for other footnotes, footnote seventeen on the word “democratic-ly” is just an objective fact (“Not a real word. Can’t be found on any dictionary”), though the fact “democratically” is spelt wrong could be a reference to Min’s execution, where she was forced to get a lot of things wrong before dying.

Final note is footnote 12, on the class trial definition, which talks about majority rule and how, because it’s the fairest way to make decisions in a group, “murderers never complained when we voted for them to die”. There are implications here about the fact Teruko also received votes in the first trial, but for Min, there isn’t anything new here.

And yes, Min got three footnotes. As she should.

XI - Mai ~ God is dead

Honestly, I guessed who got this line before even checking the crossword. It just fits what we know of Mai too much. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s enough to know she would get a line as dramatic as this. If you want a proper interpretation, Mai is sometimes treated like a god by the others considering the secret quotes, but now she’s dead or gone or something.

Of course, that’s the literal meaning of that phrase. When you look at it through the lens of Nietzsche (and Wikipedia to make sure I didn’t fuck up anything), the phrase “God is dead” refers to the idea that as christianity became increasingly non-universal, the ethical and sociocultural elements of society which had been built on it would be questioned and revised. So, “growing lack of faith causes shifts in the status quo”, or something like that. It’s something which, again, may fit Mai from what we know of her backstory. Someone everyone had unquestioned faith on, who did something which had consequences, so maybe that caused a breakdown of that original faith, or something? Anything involving this character is always extremely speculative, but I frankly think the more literal interpretation works better in this context.

In any case, this phrase is about as cryptic and dramatic as everything involving Mai, so it fits.

XII - Eden ~ ???: But you’re in my way, aren’t you?

… Alright, Eden, I know I believe you to be the CH 2 killer and all that, but you gotta at least try to defend yourself against the allegations! The hell is this?

In case anyone was wondering, I think she’s the killer who wants to get out to meet back up with the girl she kissed (who I’m starting to get convinced is Mai but I’m not ready for that conversation), so this line reads like something she’d say to Arei in that theory. However, it’d be kind of a weird thing to put in the MV before the chapter ends, and besides, there’s an interpretation I like more.

You see how there’s a triple question question mark there? There’s a chance someone is saying this to Eden. I’ll actually get back to this later, because I have to talk about XVI before I cover my theory on this. Apologies.

CW for XIII: Suicide

XIII - Teruko ~ or

… He. Alright, out of context, this is kinda funny. But if you let the MV play, it’s “… or not to be?”, from “To be or not to be?” Shakespeare and all that. That said, the video does, in fact, only keep the number on screen while it says “or”, so I choose to notate Teruko’s quote as just that. Also, as raspbeyes noted in their original post, the number thirteen is considered unlucky, so Teruko.

With that, I have to talk about how insanely dark it is to cut that phrase off at the “…or not to be” section. For anyone who hasn’t read this speech from Hamlet (which I hadn’t either, btw, had to look it up), the phrase “to be or not to be” is actually about suicidal ideation, with the word ‘be’ serving as a synonym for ‘live’. Therefore, cutting the phrase off at just this section leaves behind only suicide as the option.

It had already been implied Teruko has attempted suicide before (see: her telling Arei that failed hangings hurt a lot), and that her luck is the only thing keeping her alive. This just seems to imply it’s a much more present issue than we believed.

Then there’s the background text. From my research, the one on the left is a quote from “Murder on the Orient Express” and the one across the bottom is from “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”.

“Murder on the Orient Express” is easy to tie in, as it’s literally a murder mystery novel. Uh, spoilers for the novel, I guess, but it ends with the main detective, Poirot, concluding that the murderer was either no one in the train or everyone there. That sort of ties into Teruko’s hidden quote of “It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all”, I guess? For the line itself, it seems to be about a character hatefully looking at the detective. You can take Poirot to be Teruko because she’s decent at class trials (as opposed to everyone else being horrible at them), and the person looking at her to be… any blackened, or anyone, or David, take a pick.

“The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” is a bit weirder. It’s a short story about Omelas, an utopia which is the perfect life for everyone there, except for a young child who is forced to live in mysery for the sake of the others. The quote in the video expresses this pretty succinctly. I guess it’s talking about class trials? How the happiness of everyone hinges on one person being very unhappy? Teruko’s the protag, so it makes sense she gets a line like this. There could be other interpretations, but I think that’s the most straightforward one.

XIV - Veronika ~ Things like substance of the arts

I mean, it fits. Veronika’s talent is artistic in nature. It seems a bit… non-dramatic for Veronika? But I guess there’s nothing wrong here.

… Well, there may be, but I’ll get there in a moment.

XV - Whit ~ Remaining ignorant, isn’t that “happiness”?

(Trust me, that’s the order the words show up on screen)

This one’s also easy. Whit’s secret is “Your mother is dead. You omit this truth”. This, combined with his behavior in the killing game, characterizes Whit as someone who prefers to ignore tragedy rather than process it, remaining “ignorant” in a way. The footnote attached, 15, just talks about the phrase “ignorance is bliss”, which is pretty much what the quote is.

…

The problem is the background text.

Thinking Time: “Subtract 4 due to tetraphobia”

That’s the phrase in the background, which appears as both Veronika’s and Whit’s lines are there. This is noteworthy because this is the only time in the MV that two different Roman numerals appear on screen at the same time. The phrase is also attached to footnote 4, which defines tetraphobia:

“The practice of avoiding the number four; it is most common in Eastern Asia. This superstition arises from the fact that the number 4 can be read similar to the word ‘death’ in several languages”

This connection is further implied because the character with the Roman numeral IV is Arei, who died this chapter. There is special attention brought over and over again to the number four, and this phrase asks us to “subtract” it.

And of course, this phrase chooses to appear when two “characters” are on screen, to make sure we can’t figure it out definitively.

Let’s start with Veronika: If you substract four from fourteen you get ten (astounding maths, I know). That connects her to Min and “democratic-ly”… which is the part of the MV most related to class trials and the killing game. Because if there’s a way to look like the mastermind, you bet Veronika’s hopping right on that train!

Other than being “Veronika playing mastermind footsies” for the fiftieth time, and the fact she sorta enjoys class trials, I don’t see any other connection between her and Min’s section, so.

I should address, too, you can remove 4 from 14 in a more literal way, and end up with 1 (doing it with Roman numerals just gets you ten again). This would connect her to Xander, whose line I’ve yet to cover, but trust me on this, I don’t think it connects to Veronika.

However, that’s for the line itself. Veronika might actually have a connection to Xander himself, because of their lines about Mai. Xander’s is “she couldn’t stand to do nothing” and Veronika’s is “a girl who didn’t foresee the consequences”. These are the only lines which allude to whatever big thing Mai may have done. If Xander and Veronika have a connection, it is likely through Mai.

And then there’s Whit, who is also on-screen at the time. Or, well, his Roman numeral is.

Alright, Whit. Veronika’s being super suspicious, so the tetraphobia line has a good chance of being about her. All you gotta do is be normal about this “subtract four” thing, alright? Good.

When you subtract 4 from Whit’s 15, you get 11, which is Mai’s “God is dead”-

For fuck’s sake.

He really just can’t dodge these mastermind allegations, can he? Anyways, if this is about him, he killed Mai, or something, and thus is likely the mastermind.

I’m joking- well, kinda. There are other interpretations, like maybe he… was the first to lose faith in her, in the Nietzsche interpretation of Mai’s line? I don’t know, but the murder is the more straightforward answer for this, if you ask me.

The problem, of course, is that there’s no way to tell which character the “subtract four” thing applies to. Well, the use of the word “tetraphobia” feels more Veronika leaning, what with phobias being related with horror and psychology, but to counterbalance, the line only appears when Whit’s numeral shows up, so it’s even again.

Anyways, back to the last numeral in sequence.

XVI: Hu ~ ???: Go and cry

Alright, you don’t have to be so mean-

In all seriousness, I believe this relates to Hu’s reaction to David’s reveal. And possibly her secret if it’s the one Veronika has.

However, what’s interesting about this line is that it seems to be a direct quote from a character, because of the triple question mark at the beginning. And this is where my theory comes in.

I believe triple question marks is David. This would fit perfectly with this line, as it’s totally something David would say post-magical girl transformation. And with him being the protagonist of the MV, it makes sense for him to be involved.

And that takes me back to XII. If you remember, I said I would talk about Eden’s line a bit more after talking about XVI.

Well, it’s pretty simple, really. Eden’s line comes right after Hu’s in the video, so it’s reasonable to assume ??? is the same person for both of them. In other words, I believe it’s David who tells Eden “but you’re in my way, aren’t you?” This still implies Eden’s the CH2 blackened, by the way. As in, “you’re getting in my way because now I need to figure out a murder”, or something like that. There really isn’t any other thing it could be referring to. Unless it’s like, “you’re getting in my way because you’re so nice you’re preventing murders from happening” or “you’re getting in my way of manipulating Arei by befriending her”, but the first one is too abstract and the second one doesn’t work since David didn’t know about their friendship until after Arei died. So don’t go thinking I’m giving up on that theory. It just changes the context a bit.

-

And with that, we’ve successfully gone through the sixteen numbers. Except, wait! Don’t think I forgot about the funny British boy!

Well, to be frank with you, there is a reason why I chose to save Xander for last. And that is… I didn’t want to start the list with disappointment.

I - Xander ~ Inconclusive

See, the problem is that Xander runs into much the same issue as Min, but without a footnote to help solve the problem. The Roman numeral for 1 is just “I”, so any time the word I appears, Xander’s Roman numeral appears.

Now, maybe you think this is stupid. Obviously any time “I” appears as an actual word, it’s not meant to be Xander’s numeral! We just need to look for the time it’s not a part of the lyrics or a phrase in the text!

This is obviously the most intuitive solution, and it does arrive at… an answer. So, I present, the First Possibility.

First Possibility

I - Xander ~ (the world of abnormal sentiment dances)

Now, at first glance, this works! You have the numeral next to a phrase, and there’s nothing else it could be!

Except, the problem is that that only extends to the screenshot. In this part of the video, the same phrase is on the screen for a good few seconds, but the “I” disappears and gets replaced by several numbers, then the “&” symbol, more numbers, and what seems to be a “=“ sign, maybe? But could be II sideways. Don’t know, looks like code, not my expertise.

The issue here is that this would be the only time a character’s phrase lingers longer than their numeral. This is pretty inconsistent with the other phrases we’ve seen, which is what gets me to hesitate and wonder if that “I” is actually made to be part of the code and not the crossword thing.

That, combined with the line itself. Because what does “the world of abnormal sentiment dances” have to do with Xander? I looked it up, but it’s not the name of a book or anything. Maybe I’m missing something, but I really don’t think this is related to Xander in any way.

So, I looked for other possibilities. The problem is that, like I said, all other possibilities are part of lyrics or phrases, not a standalone numeral.

And yet, there is one which stands out to me as a good candidate. This has a high chance of being wrong, but I’ll bring it up anyways because I think it’s cool.

Second Possibility

I - Xander ~ I hate the things that I love, and I love the things that I hate

… Well, I know it’s hard to read it in that clusterfuck, but that is what the red text says.

This line has a bit more to do with Xander, or at least, David’s feelings towards Xander. We know he probably did like him based on some scenes from the MV, but he’s sad about his death. He hates him for leaving, but his heart loves him anyways. That could be read as romantic or platonic… hesitant on the platonic-

That said, the problem is explaining why I believe this is the Xander line. And that comes down to the background text.

… Yes, that background text.

You see, in the MV, it slowly fills out in a way which lets you read it somewhat. I’ll tell you what each part of the text means, but if you want visuals, I’ll ask you go to the video.

What first appears is white text on top and the right. The white text on top is Big Clue #1, as it’s a definition of electrocution. You know, that thing Xander died from.

The text on the right, meanwhile, seems to be an excerpt from “Alice in Wonderland”. The specific passage seems to feature Alice lamenting how much “pleasenter” [sic] things were “back home”. And well, for everyone but Teruko, their homes were likelier “pleasenter” than the killing game. However, in this context, it could be an analogy to David missing the past, when Xander was still alive.

Then, more white text appears on the bottom as yellow text appears under the white text on top. The bottom text is, again, more talk of electrocution, but the yellow text is a bit more complex. This is the line (from Google, exact wording may vary):

“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world...”

Another “The Little Prince” quote, another straight banger (I love that book). Imma need the hornier of you to not focus too much on the “taming” wording and focus on the important part. This one speaks of the beautiful simplicity of relationships; everyone is “just some dude” until you meet them and establish a relationship, and then, they become unique.

This is an especially wonderful quote for Xander and David’s relationship. David truly wanted nothing more than to be “a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes” instead of the idol Xander saw him as. He wanted a genuine relationship with him, where they were not just each other’s idols, but something bigger; each other’s boyfriends :D

Alright, sappy stuff aside, this quote is related to Xander, that’s what you need to know.

Then there’s the big pink text. It says “note: can’t read”. Yeah, fair.

But before that note appears, some cyan text begins sprawling out. It’s not a quote from anything as far as I can tell, so here’s a transcript:

“…man crushed by reality puts on a s[how]…

…[of end]urance. If that’s beyond your

[com]prehension, dear reader, then you a[nd]…

[I’ll n]ever understand each other. Life’s…

[short?] so we might as well make it…

[count?] real life is a realm th…”

So, yeah, I’m sort of guessing half the words here, and I can’t even tell what the last line is, but I think we can get the gist from this. Reading this with the context that Xander’s probably connected, it’s easy to figure out. David was crushed by reality when Xander died, and he put on a show of endurance after that. The insult to the reader is a bit uncalled for, but I don’t particularly care, it fits David.

So, with the idea that this little breakdown is related to Xander, it’s safe to say the line “I hate the things that I love, and I love the things that I hate” (not a quote from anywhere I could find btw) is linked with Xander as well.

And, well. There are other references to Xander, but they’re never paired with an “I”. And there are other instances of the word “I”, but never in relation to Xander, at least not as much as this little breakdown.

This clusterfuck of text also forms directly after the crosswords shows up. And while most of these aren’t in chronological order, number II through V do. Wouldn’t it make sense for I to appear right after the crosswords and make I through V in chronological order?

In any case, I believe this is a decent alternative to the “world of abnormal sentiment dances”, whatever that means.

Conclusion

This was really fun! I am satiated for now, the content drop was awesome, I loved it a lot. There’s so much more I want to talk about in this MV, but this was priority number one in my mind.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! If you made it this far, you deserve your own Roman numeral, all for yourself! Take care!

[literaila]

Heyy so I've readed your fanfic A Typical Family and I can't stop re reading it because, well, let's just say that the manga is not at it's finest (Prettysureyouknowwhatimean.) and your fanfic is doing a great job helping me with my mental stability caused by Gege Akutami 😀 so thank you!

I love everything, I sure as hell needed that fluff. But one of the things I like the most is actually y/n's past, I like that you didn't went into details about what happened to her and it was just mentioned like two or three times. I like that a lot because it makes the character more intriguing and you give the reader the posibility of being as creative as possible when it comes to her past, I atleast came up with a few ideas of how she used to live.

But after Chapter 29 I couldn't help myself but wonder what really happened to y/n with her family during her youth. In details. Because I felt that there was A LOT going on-

So yeah, that's why I searched for you in tumblr, fell in love with you after scrolling down your account for a bit (which means hours) and decided to ask you if you could specify more about her past? What happened to her? How was her daily life living in a place where she was missunderstood by her own parents? How did her parents treated her? Did she always felt lonely? Is that why she's so insecure when she became a mother? I REALLY am intrigued.

Thanks again for everything and let's hope to find that annoying cat's hideout 😄🔪

(idoindeedunderstandexactlywhatyoumean)

ah. my dear reader.

she started as just an archetype of sorts, i suppose. like a person in my head but not enough of a person to interfere with the story in any particular way

the focus was abandonment issues so that satoru/suguru leaving could actually have some purpose.

but as i’m sure everyone is well aware—i don’t do simplicity, and i wholeheartedly believe that each and every character (in any media) should be a little… messed up? hurt? battling their own demons??

i think about things in the ways that it’ll improve or harm a story. and satoru leaving reader after being left by everyone else—that’s what i latched on to originally

(actually originally originally it was just a one-shot of megumi calling reader mom and being upset about it… ah how things change)

so i continued with that idea and im not sure when exactly i decided that her parents were awful, but they were. it made it easier for her to avoid talking to satoru about any issues, and easier to understand why she would care so much about these kids and them growing up with (no offense to gojo) a child for a father.

and at the beginning you can tell (or maybe only i can idk) that she is less self conscious about herself, and more worried about the kids. how are they going to react to this? how can a recently graduated person become a mother in under an hour? so it’s not that she’s insecure because she didn’t have a good childhood—that’s just how she is. too thoughtful, a bit anxious.

(mostly just to tie in satoru and readers relationship because i figured they’d need some balancing somewhere)

but then as the characters become more of their own, i needed more from her character. why does she care about these kids so much beyond just having morals? why do they trust her almost immediately?

and this began in the part where she’s consoling tsumiki—because i wanted to give baby a moment sorry not sorry. suddenly she missed her estranged parents and understood how sad miki felt. how much losing your mother matters.

but i’ve always made it fairly clear that tsumiki is just trusting. so easy one there.

but with megumi—reader is more worried that satoru is going to raise him under his wing. and obviously, that’s a horrible decision. satoru is barely a normal teenager to reader so… yeah she doesn’t trust him with megumi. who is obviously impressionable and easy to persuade.

plus the boy is rough for a six year old—needs a gentler hand than some people (ahem, satoru) can give him.

but unlike tsumiki, megumi was going to take time. so instead of a moment they have lots of little things—like the fact that she can read his emotions even when he’s trying to close them off, or that she watches him interact with both tsumiki and satoru very differently.

their trust is built on silence—but once megumi can depend on someone there’s really no going back.

and none of this has anything to do with reader necessarily—but her foundation is made from the two children, and satoru.

and then i had to push some more on the two of them. because—they are in love (they don’t say it ever, but it’s obvious), but they need a reason to hide it.

for satoru it’s because he has been raised to be the most important thing, and to not really trust anyone. and when suguru leaves he realizes that no matter what no one will understand him—he’ll always be a level ahead, a step too high.

so for reader it has to be different. some echoes of pain. and as soon as i realized how scared she was for megumi—i had to give her a reason to be scared. i imagine that she’s always been terrified of jujutsu, not because it’s difficult or because there was some nasty curses, but because it essentially ruined her life.

i imagine her parents to be average, run of the mill people. i think she depended on them when she was very young, and was naturally trusting (like tsumiki) as a child. she’s the type to believe that her parents are the best people in the world.

but once a little girl begins to see things that aren’t there—to scream and hide in closets, or cry while being dragged into the kitchen—things shift.

i don’t think it was bad at first, but when her cursed technique manifested, her parents understood that she was something other.

outwardly, they provided everything a child needs. food, home, clothes, education. but they refused to listen to her when something was wrong, they would leave the room when she entered—because she carried that negative presence with her.

so, i think to reader, they treated her like she was the curse.

and when yaga shows up, rattling about jujutsu high and these strange things that only the two of them would be able to understand, there was no returning back into the child her parents had loved.

she was different. too different for them to understand—or want to even try to.

i doubt they gave her a choice in going to school. if they could get her out of their house, get her curse out of there—they were going to.

(not to mention that there’s no reason for her to stay at home—not with two people who couldn’t care less about her).

so she was essentially sent away at fifteen and (like reader says) they were gone not too long after that.

(i think both the first and second years found out about this because yaga was trying to be nice and tell them not to push and accidentally revealed too much information. also he’s a gossip oops).

with the type of childhood she had—bad but not awful, nothing to run from—it makes it hard for her to connect with other people. and reader truly does believe she is the curse because that’s all she’s been taught.

but everyone at jujutsu high can understand, even if it’s the smallest amount. going there changes her life, simply put.

with at least five other people there to understand the things that she does—the burden is divided equally among all of them. she doesn’t have to hold it all alone.

so she connects with suguru, begins to realize she was just a child and not a problem. she learns how to control her cursed technique and is no longer scared that she’s doomed to forever push people away.

and she makes friends. friends make all the difference in the world, obviously.

plus, there’s satoru and he’s a burden of his own.

but at least she gets to choose it this time, no matter how difficult he makes it.

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

A Corduroy Tragedy

So...I was reading a tumblr post focused on Wendy (and the Wendip ship, which...I still don't care for, honestly. I mostly read it for the Wendy lore) and I came across something interesting.

And its from the Lost Legends comic. Like Journal 3, it too has hidden messages and I wanted to get mine so I can verify what was said in the post.

I don't have it immediately available at the moment (I left it in my mom's room and she's asleep, so I don't want to disturb her), but according to the post, the message had something to do with Wendy's mother.

And it's that she isn't die at some point, like many of us probably assumed (under the assumption that not everyone is privy to this).

The message hinted that she's trapped in another dimension. Sort of like Ford, but not really. Like, I don't think she's dimension hopping. She's trapped in one place. Perhaps this could give the idea that there are random portals/rifts than can appear and disappear.

And Wendy's mother accidentally encountered one and vanished without a trace. As for when...hard to say. Obviously, it was some time after the birth of Wendy's youngest brother, Gus.

We also don't know the ages of the Corduroy bros (except for being less than 15, since Wendy's the oldest child) and Marcus having facial hair surprisingly wouldn't help in this case because it could be a Corduroy thing, sort like how Wendy's height is a Corduroy trait.

Still, I'll take the facial hair for consideration just to make things easy. Of course, facial hair starts appearing during puberty, usually at the age of 13~16 (though some sources say 11~15 for facial hair growing at the corners).

So, I'd make the guessimate that Marcus (the oldest brother) is probably either 14 or 13 years old. The middle brother, Kevin, I'd say could be 3 years younger (11 or 10), and the youngest brother, Gus, is maybe 8.

I personally headcanon that Wendy lost her mother at around the same age as Dipper and Mabel. That headcanon remains true even with this new knowledge. Maybe Mrs. Corduroy went looking for something or went for a walk in the woods and fell through a random rift.

She gets reported missing and despite an extensive search, she was never found. It made no sense to the locals. Mrs. Corduroy knew the woods like the back of her hand, she couldn't've gotten lost. I can kinda see this as a reference to 411 cases.

And, perhaps, an incredible role model to Wendy.

Because...with a family like the Corduroys, I highly doubt that Mama Corduroy was a pansy. No, she was a down-to-earth and strong-willed woman with a sharp wit. She was an inspiration.

And now, she is gone. Vanished without a trace. It left the family devastated and Wendy in a bad headspace. There is a scene with Manly Dan's vehicle where there is a yellow ribbon sticker attached to the back...yeah.

To this day, Wendy still holds out hope that her mom will come back. And when she does, ask why. Even so, she knows that she's gonna have to move on.

This is...somehow more tragic than just having Mrs. Corduroy die in an accident. Because, at least with that, there is confirmation. There is a body. There isn't uncertainty. But, the idea that Mrs. Corduroy just...vanished?

It has a special type of hold...one that will linger for a long time.

Whelp, more angst fodder! Have at it!

...It's 11 pm and I should be asleep, but instead, I wrote this!

Yaaaay...

I am suffering a bit and I am taking y'all down with me.

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

Do you know Parents Trap? It's a pretty old movie about two twin sisters separated by their divorced parents. One lives with her father in Napa on a vineyard, and one lives with her designer mother in London. They meet unexpectedly at camp at the age of 12 and decide to switch places, impersonating the other to meet the other parent and force them to get back together. There's a funny scene where one girl has to have her hair cut and her ears pierced because of this plan, which immediately makes me imagine Spider having to cut his hair and Hunter being terrified when Spider informs him that he has to have his ears pierced. I wonder how this would work in Blood Brothers (if Hunter and Spider were twins, who would take which child and who would be the first to realize something was wrong?)

lol I hope when you say old movie your talking about the one from the sixties and not the Lindsey Lohan one from 1998 because I’m almost two years older then that movie. 😭 (don’t worry though I legitimately find this funny)

So yeah I grew up on that movie. I think I got this idea off of tumblr years ago, I’m not really sure, but it was pointing out how insane in concept the Parent trap is. Like how is a parent going to choose one of there kids over the other and then just act like that kid never existed. Absolutely wild. And then the girls switching places instead of just calling their parents out? Matching crazy to crazy.

So my idea for why Quaritch and Paz split in the first place. Obviously they met and fell in love during the war. They had two kids, though in this concept I’m going to say the boys aren’t twins. They’re two years apart like in Blood Brothers. Being at home alone with the kids and a little postpartum depressed Paz starts thinking about everything she did during the war and regrets it deeply. She wants to make amends by going back to Pandora to help the Na’vi however she can. She floats this idea past her husband and he just laughs at her. The need to right her wrongs is so strong that Paz decides to take both the kids and leave. What she didn’t expect was that her husband would come home early on the day of her escape. Spider was already in his car seat but Hunter hadn’t been strapped in yet. Quaritch takes the baby away and the two get into a massive fight that escalates more and more until Quaritch is telling Paz she’s gone crazy and he threatening to put her away. Paz in a panic manages to get in the car and drive away. It cleves her heart in two but she vows to get her youngest back one day.

Quaritch is equally devastated to lose his wife and oldest son. In the following days weeks and months both parents try to fight in court from across the globe to get their other child back but nothing ever comes of it. Spider is raised in Pandora by his mom. Paz works with the late Dr.Augustine’s team as their pilot. Hunter is raised by his dad as a military brat but the kid has no interest in any of it. He likes to read, stay inside, build models and play chess. Quaritch does his best with him but Hunter makes him feel like a moron. He thinks the kid could use a summer outside, hiking, canoeing, doing archery. So he sends him to summer camp.

Spider has already been sent to that summer camp a few years in a row. His friends Kiri, Lo’ak, and Neteyam split their time between to u.s and Pandora so really he just goes to have an excuse to hang out with his friends more. You know the story from their Spider and Hunter get into shenanigans and arguments until the camp counselors force them to stay in a cabin together to work out their differences. They start opening up to each other, one thing leads to another and they realize they’re brothers. They think on what to do. Now I’m of two minds about this. One they just straight up face time their parents. They are side by side, looking so much like each other that it’s unmistakable that they are brothers. Spider calls his mom and she goes pale at the sight of her youngest son. Spider is just like, “hey mom what the fuck?!” Hunter calls dad and is a little nicer. After his dad greats him Hunter wordlessly turns the phone so his brother is in frame then says, “I think you forgot to tell me about something.” Both parents would be getting on the first available plane to try and get to the camp before the other so they could just straight up take their other kid leading to then reconnecting and their kids forcing them to have a calm conversation with each other.

The other idea is still kind of the Parent Trap just without them trying to look like the other. The boys just straight up switch the pictures in their passports and the name tags on their duffel bags. Once they get to the airport they part ways Hunter going to Pandora and Spider to Washington D. C. Quaritch is waiting at the airport, worriedly looking around for Hunter. Instead his heart completely stops when a tall teen built like tank with a wild mane of chest length curls braided with beads approaches him with a mischievous grin on his face. He knows instantly that’s his Miles jr. Spider dramatically drops his bag at his dad’s feet, holding his arms out wide, “hi there dad.”

The boy is being sarcastic but Quaritch is so happy to see him after all this time that he pulls his son into a tight hug. Spider is stunned. From everything his mom told him he expected his dad to be an emotionless military drone. This? Tucked under the man’s chin, being held like a life line and in public no less? It stuns him so much that he just hugs him back.

Hunter was nervous as hell to meet his mom. He steps off the plane and she’s just right there. She’s only surprised for a moment before she’s all over him, hugging him tight, peppering his cheeks and the top of his head with kisses. She’s crying and it makes Hunter cry too. Not that his dad doesn’t give him affection but this is different. This is his mom.

The boys explain everything. They want a chance to get to know their other parent for the remainder of summer. Then before they have to go back to school the four of them will meet up at a hotel to figure things out. Quaritch and Paz agree. They’re both just so happy to make up for lost time.

Spider wants to make things hard for Quaritch since he knows his dad is a bad guy. His dad tries to buy him new clothes because Spider is wearing “rags”. it’s hot as hell so around the house he dresses like he would in the jungle. If they go out he doesn’t really want all the attention on him so he wears shorts and cropped t shirts. Quaritch hates it. But when Spider gets his new clothes he just destroys them.

His dad makes little comments about his hair like “wouldn’t you be more comfortable without that mane of yours.” Spider’s just like “nope.” He spends even more time putting it in intricate styles because he knows it annoys Quaritch.

Spider tries to embarrasses his dad in front of his friends, he acts like a “savage” in public, he finds every way he can to torment his father. And it somehow makes Quaritch love him more. He knows the boy is just acting out because he thinks his dad is bad. Why wouldn’t he when he grew up in Pandora. So he enjoys doing nice things for his kid to try and change that perception.

Spider calls his dads cooking flavorless, unseasoned white people shit. Quaritch lets him pick a restaurant to go to instead, even if it’s over an hour away (which Spider totally does to test his dad’s patience.)

Quaritch invites Spider to go to work with him and Spider accepts but dresses in his loin cloth and accessorizes to Eywa. Quaritch just proudly pats him on the back in front of his colleagues and says, “look at this kid of mine! 16 years old and he’s stronger then most marines!” Spider actually blushes and later changes into some gym clothes.

Spider makes a scene climbing the displays at the mall. Quaritch takes off work for a week so they can go on a camping trip. He’s grinning ear to ear watching his son shimmy up a tree with all the grace of a monkey. Spider would be embarrassed as hell if his dad said it out loud but Quaritch thinks it’s really cute. They bond a lot on the camping trip. It’s everything both of them ever imagined doing with their father/son. On the last night they’re star gazing, content in the silence when Spider asks, “dad? Do you ever regret what you did in the war?”

“Would you feel better about me if i did?”

“Yeah I would actually.”

Quaritch sighs, “I tell myself I was just following orders. That I did what I thought was best for our country…”

“But….”

Quaritch takes a deep breath, “no buts. That’s how I get through the day.”

“By shoving it down and not thinking about it.” Spider mumbles. Quaritch hears him but chooses to ignore him. The conversation does give Spider a sliver of hope that maybe his dad can change.

Meanwhile Hunter is having a time. He’s shy and prefers being indoors so he clings to his mom and never wants to leave the labs. Paz is super patient with him though. She’ll hold both his hands and ask gently, “why don’t you want to go outside sweetheart?”

“Because it’s a jungle! There’s wild animals and poisonous bugs and it’s hot and humid and I just don’t want to!”

“Your brother and I have lived here for years and we’ve been okay. Plus where going to the village. It’s perfectly safe there…”

“But all the people. Won’t they hate me?”

“Why would they hate you?”

“Because of what dad did…”

“What your dad and me did has nothing to do with you. Just be kind. Everyone will love you.” It’s the gentle reassurance Hunter has always needed. He’s still incredibly nervous when they reach the village.

Mo’at is the first to approach him smiling warmly. “Welcome to our village. I hope you are not as wild as your brother.”

Hunter actually laughs a little, “not by a long shot.”

“Good. Come I will show you around.” Hunter is in awe as they walk around. The warriors are cool of course but Hunter is mesmerized by the crafts people. Weavers creating gorgeous brightly colored, intricately designed textiles. Potters painstakingly making beautiful ceramics works. Wood carvers perfectly carving the jungles wild life. Paz sees him watching and encourages him to ask to join. Hunter’s extremely hesitant. It takes days of his mother’s gentle coaxing but eventually he does. Crafting actually helps Hunter open up. After a few weeks he’s almost a different kid, happily running around with other children, excitedly racing up to his mom to show her the garment he wove himself or the jewelry he strung together with beads he made. Every day he’s eager to get to the village, practically pushing Paz out the door.

I still do like the idea of the boys assimilating a little bit and the makeovers you mentioned from the movie I think are a great way to bond with their parent.

Quaritch has a poker night every once in a while. Spider has never played before but he’s a quick study and soon he’s dominating the game. They’ve played a few rounds and Spider is feeling overconfident. Everyone but his dad has folded. They both go all in. Then to make it more interesting Spider proposes a bet. Quaritch laughs, “what do you even want?”

“I don’t know. You can reconcile with mom? Move closer to Pandora so we can at least see each other more often? Apologize to the Omaticaya?”

“Alright, alright. And what do you have that I’d want?”

Spider’s hand is so good that he doesn’t think twice about saying, “you can cut my hair. However you like.”

Quaritch chuckles, “okay kid deal.” He lays down his hand. And it’s the ultimate winning hand. Spider’s stomach drops. He lost.

His dad’s team is laughing and hollering behind him. They excitedly start setting everything up, Mansk grabbing the kitchen chair, Lyle raiding the bathroom for a pair of clippers, jokingly reveing it close to Spider’s head. Spider just goes into himself, so sure that Quaritch is about to give him a buzz cut.

Quaritch on the other hand sees how utterly devastated his son already looks and takes pity on him. When his son had been cocky and made the bet in the first place he had totally planned on giving the kid a buzz cut. But seeing his face - he just can’t do that to him. He’s not going to do nothing. They did make a bet after all and you reap what you sow. He cuts Spider’s hair to his shoulders. His team boos around them wanting more of a show.

Spider is stunned in the best way. He can most definitely live with this. It’s the same length as Lo’ak and Neteyam’s. He can still style it in braids, it feels ridiculously healthy and while he hates to admit it, he is more comfortable. It’s so light, making the summer heat much more bearable. But more importantly Spider’s so happy to see his dad put his wants above what he thinks is socially appropriate. After that Spider starts to wear the “nice” clothes Quaritch buys for him but he does still customize them, embroidering them with symbols and patterns unique to the Omaticaya.

Hunter silently longs to pierce his ears. He really likes the look on the villagers and he’s even already made some ear rings for himself but he’s terrified of the pain and blood. Paz can see right through her son though and says, “sweetheart, do you want to pierce your ears?”

Hunter denies it but his mom takes his hands saying gently, “it’s okay if you do. It really doesn’t hurt and there’s hardly any blood. You’ll be just fine. I promise. But if you really don’t want to I’ll drop it.”

“No i.. I do. I want to.”

Paz smiles gently, “ok then. Let’s do it.” Hunter lays in his mom’s lap. She lovingly strokes his hair while Mo’at readies the needle. When Mo’at approaches Hunter’s panic starts to flair and he starts to squirm. His mom starts to hum a song, steadying him with her hands. And it works wonders. Looking up at his mom Hunter feels incredibly safe, like nothing bad could ever happen to him again. His ears are pierced quickly and nearly painlessly. Hunter wonders why we so scared in the first place.

As the summer draws to a close both parents try to cram in as much as they can. Quaritch teaches Spider how to drive. Paz teaches Hunter how to dance, something the boy was incredibly awkward at first until his mom got him to loosen up. As they dance Hunter can’t help but ask, “mom? Do you still love dad?”

Paz might of well has been slapped, “that’s….complicated sweetheart.”

“Why?”

Paz really doesn’t want to explain all the pain behind their last meeting or the worse pain that comes from thinking about everything they had before that and everything they could have had after if things had been different. Her son isn’t her therapist and she’s not about to burden him with any of that. “It’s been a long time,” she settles on, “we had a good life together and I love him for that time. I love him for giving me you and your brother.”

“But now?”

Paz just smiles sadly, “now it’s been a long time.” Hunter drops it after that.

A few days before their due to meet with Paz and Hunter, Quaritch throws a party for Spider. Low key he’s terrified he’ll never get to see his eldest ever again. So they’re having a bonfire, Quaritch’s entire team is there, they’re playing music and just having a good time when Quaritch asks Spider, “do you want to try a beer?” Of course he says yes. One beer leads to another, then another, and then his dad is giving him his first shot of whiskey too. Father and son are drunk off their asses, cuddled up by the fire when Spider asks, “do you still love mom?”

Quaritch is so trashed he doesn’t even think about his answer, “yeah I do.”

“Then why don’t you fight for her,” he slurs.

Quaritch shrugs, “she left me. She made it pretty clear how she feels.”

“You haven’t even talked to her in years!”

“And she hasn’t tried to talk to me either!”

“So you’re both being stupid.” Quaritch just stews in his annoyance. “Come on! Don’t you miss her? Don’t you want us all to be a family?”

“Well of course I do.”

“Then swallow your pride and fix things with mom!”

So that’s playing in Quaritch’s head as they walk into the hotel. Paz is nervous as hell too. They haven’t seen each other face to face since the day she left and that was messy to say the least. All other communication about a custody agreements (or lack of since they never agreed on anything) went through their lawyers. The tension is cut when they all come into view and the kids immediately run to their other parents. Quaritch scoops Hunter right up and hugs him close. “Jesus what have they been feedin’ y’a kid!” Hunter is noticeably taller and put on some muscle. His hair grew longer, nearly as long as his brother’s. When Quaritch tucks the curly strands behind his ears he notices they’ve been pierced. He doesn’t approve but chooses to bite his tongue. Hunter’s not just physically different. There’s a confidence and energy in his eyes that’s never been there before. He’d hate to dampen that by making a negative comment on something Hunter clearly liked.

Spider and Paz are similar though Spider is so much bigger than his mom that he picks her up for a hug. They both intentionally squeeze each other as hard as they can. When they break apart Paz takes him in, touching the ends of his hair in amazement, “did hell freeze over?!”

Spider just laughs, “lost a bet.”

“To who?”

“To dad.”

Paz’s eyes go wide, “and you still have hair!? Paz is legitimately impressed. She had worried about her eldest for sure, knowing that him and his father would butt heads. And when someone fell out of line for Quaritch he put them in their place. But her son looked so happy. He wouldn’t act this way unless he’d had a really good time with his dad.

The boys share a room at the hotel while Paz and Quaritch have their own. They’re all going to have a family dinner that night but in the meantime Spider and Hunter are swapping notes. Dad still loves mom. Mom’s feelings are complicated. If they could just get them talking maybe they had a chance at reconciling. And if they could create a romantic date to reignite that spark between them then maybe they could be a family again. So they start scheming. They ask for a private dinning room which the hotel concierge surprisingly gives them (he lives for the drama, is typically board as hell, and saw an opportunity for shit to get messy) Spider is FaceTiming Kiri as they set up the room because, “I don’t how to be romantic! This shit is gross to me!”

“What makes you think I know!”

“Ah, all the shitty rom-coms you make me watch at sleepovers.”

“Don’t act like you don’t love roasting them with me.” Spider just nods in shameless agreement. In the end the room is beautiful, decked out in flowers and candles. Quaritch’s eyebrows raise in surprise when he sees it but says nothing. Paz stops in her tracks looking around in awe before taking her seat. The boys side eye each other, glowing with pride. The dinner starts off smooth. Spider and Hunter are manly recapping their summers. Their parents are happy to listen to them, occasionally interjecting with a joke or a correction to the story. It all feels so nice. “I need to go to the bathroom,” Spider says abruptly, rising from his seat.

Hunter, catching what his brother is doing, hurriedly follows after him saying, “me too!” They run out leaving their parents completely alone. There’s no where for the boys to hide so they go back to their room.

The atmosphere turns incredibly awkward between Paz and Quaritch. “You look really good,” Quaritch says.

“Thanks,” Paz says, not looking at him, taking a deep drink from her wine glass.

Quaritch sighs. “I’m so sorry.”

Paz nearly chokes, “what?”

“I said I’m sorry. For not takin’ y’a seriously when you said you wanted to make up for what we did in the war. For all the things I said to y’a during that fight. For keeping Hunter from you…”

“I said some pretty terrible things to you too. And I kept Spider from you.”

Quaritch takes a deep breath. He wants to say more. Tell her despite it all he still loves her. Beg her to just come home. But he doesn’t. In stead he asks, “can we just come up with a custody agreement? I’d rather have both my boys for half the year than have one all the time and never see the other at all.”

Paz nods. If she’s disappointed then she doesn’t allow herself to feel it. “Agreed. I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually. If I stay in Pandora then there’s no way we could share them on a weekly basis…”

“You could always come home,” Quaritch blurts out, immediately turning red.

Paz’s breath catches for a moment. She chooses to ignore his comment and the way he’s looking at her so desperately. “I’ve been home schooling Spider but I don’t think I can give him or Hunter the education they need. So I think it’d be best for both of them if they stayed with you during the school year…”

Quaritch is shocked. He’s getting the better end of the deal for sure and he’s thrilled but at the same time can’t stand seeing Paz so upset even though she’s trying to hide it. “During their breaks I’ll take’em right from school to the airport. I won’t waste a second. You’ll have them all Christmas and Spring break and summer. And you’re always welcome to visit! It’s still your home…”

Paz feels like she might cry from the storm of emotions brewing inside her, “thank you,” she says softly, her voice breaking slightly. They eat in complete silence after that.

The next day they tell the boys the new arrangement. Neither of them are happy but Spider is the most upset. “I don’t want to live in America with dad! I want to stay with you and go back home!”

“But you liked living with your dad over the summer…”

“That doesn’t mean I want to stay with him!” Quaritch is definitely hurt by that but chooses to not say anything.

“Sweetheart it’s not fair to keep you from your dad. He loves you just as much as I do and he deserves to spend time with you..”

“He doesn’t deserve anything from me! What about what I deserve! Don’t I deserve to live where I want. Or pick which parent I want to live with!”

“Baby I just want what’s best for you. The school Hunter goes to is amazing. You’ll get a better education and have so many more opportunities in the future because of it.”

“I don’t care!”

“Stop yelling at your mother,” Quaritch commands. “You don’t think this is hard for her! She loves you both more than anything! I know she’d rather keep you both here with her but she’s sending y’a off with me instead because that’s what’s best for y’a. So shut your mouth right now and be good because you will be going home with me Miles. There’s an easy way of doing that and a hard way. You will not like the hard way.” Spider scowls at the ground angry at his father but feeling guilty for how he treated his mom.

When they go to the airport it’s a long sad goodbye. Hunter clings to him mom not wanting to lose her again after just getting her back. Spider is angry at having to go. His dad is still prepared to drag him onto the plane kicking and screaming. His mom strokes his hair, gives him hugs and kisses, a soft sad smile on her face. She promises to call all the time and assures him that everything will be okay.

It’s when the plane takes off that Paz breaks down, sobbing without a care for who sees her as she watches her boys be taken from her. On the plane itself Hunter is staring dead eyed out the window. His dad is rubbing his back to comfort him but it’s no use. When Quaritch tries to do the same for Spider his son flinches away from him hissing, “don’t touch me!” Quaritch drops it and lets the boy simmer in his rage. It’s after they’ve been cruising for a while that Quaritch starts hearing soft sniffles from his eldest. When he looks at him Spider is pointedly looking away but there are tears in his eyes. Quaritch doesn’t try to comfort him with words. He pulls Spider into his side and presses the boy’s head onto his shoulder. Spider doesn’t fight it. He’s to upset over losing his entire way of life. He starts bawling. His dad hugs him tight, petting his hair, wiping his face. Hunter starts crying seeing his brother cry and Quaritch tucks him into his other side, holding them both close the entire way home.

Once they settle in at home Spider is openly hostile to his dad. He picks fights with him every chance he gets. When his dad tries to show him a little bit of affection, like smoothing out Spider’s bed head in the morning, or giving him a pat on the back, Spider flinches away from him hissing and glaring like an abused cat. He’s no better at school either. Spider was relieved to find out the private school he’d be going to was the same one the Sully’s attended. He got pissed again when his placement exam put him three semesters behind where he should be. His teachers and dad all come up with a game plan to get him on track but that basically ment he’d be working on his gen eds with no room in his schedule for any extra curriculars like art or music and he’d have make up work to do over every vacation. So needless to say Spider acts out to try and get himself expelled. He’s in detention almost every day because of it. His principal has the counselor test him for behavioral issues and lo and behold he has A.D.H.D. Spider’s pissed about that too because now his teachers are willing to help him even more. No amount of acting out gets him detention after that, just a trip to the school counselor. Nothing short of assaulting another kid could get him kicked out now.

Him and his dad are constantly fighting. Quaritch tries to stay patient but firm. It doesn’t really work though because when Spider starts yelling, Quaritch’s voice starts getting louder and louder. Poor Hunter is stuck in the middle, hiding in his room with his ears covered trying to block out all the screaming, wishing his mom was there.

The boys FaceTime with their mom every day after dinner. It’s two in the morning her time but she stays up for them. They’re nothing but happy smiles and excited conversations when they’re on the phone together. Then the moment they hang up they all go back to being sad and bitter. Paz is a wreck outside of those phone calls. She’s definitely depressed. She doesn’t want to eat, can’t sleep but doesn’t want to get out of bed either. Her work suffers and everyone around her begs her to get help. The only bright spots in her day are her calls with her kids and the texts Quaritch sends to her. He takes pictures of the boys all the time - when they’re eating breakfast with their eyes half open, doing homework at the kitchen table, playing video games or watching tv together. He gives her constant updates on their day to day and always asks how she’s doing. If she needs anything, if he can do better with communicating to her. That old spark of love slowly starts to flicker again.

Meanwhile Spider and Hunter make quite a few changes to Quaritch’s house. They paint the walls one weekend when Quaritch is on a business trip turning the once beige house into an explosion of rich blues, burnt oranges and forest greens. Hunter, having learned crafting from the Na’vi, weaves brightly patterned blankets and pillows to decorate. He takes pottery at school bringing home a bunch of ceramics pieces that he proudly displays all over the house. Spider steals money from his dad to buy a bunch of house plants and start up what was once Paz’s garden in there backyard. Quaritch was pissed as hell, grounded Spider for a month for stealing his money, and made him do every chore around the house until he’d “paid back” what he had taken. The boys love working in the garden though. It makes them feel closer to their mom and Eywa. It’s the only time they really feel content and it makes Quaritch smile watching them.

It’s mid October when Paz calls Quaritch. He picks up before the first ring is done sounding. Paz hesitates for a moment and then says surprisingly timid, “I was thinking about visiting this weekend. If that’s okay…”

“Of course it is,” Quaritch rushes to say, “you’re welcome to stay as long as y’a like. I’ll take off work and pick y’a up from the airport.”

Paz doesn’t know why she feels so relieved to hear him say that. He had already assured her that she was always welcome. “Thank you. Don’t tell the boys I’m coming though. I want to surprise them.”

That Friday the boys walk out of school to their dad’s typical pickup spot. Only to stop short in surprise when they see both of their parents waiting outside the car for them. “Mom!” They both shout in excitement as they run into her arms. In that moment Paz is the happiest she’s been in months. Quaritch takes them all out to a nice restaurant and then an arcade. They have an absolute blast and for a moment Paz and Quaritch forget the rift between them.

Quaritch was more than willing to give up his room to Paz but she declines, taking the guest room instead. The boys are so excited to show their mom their garden and all their artwork. They stay close to her as much as possible, dreading the day she’ll leave again. Quaritch is quietly savoring it all too. His son’s are so much happier with their mother there. Hunter is so much more energetic, happily running around the house after his brother, showing off his latest creation to his parents, helping with cooking and cleaning wherever he can. Spider is much more relaxed. He doesn’t pick fights with his dad anymore. He’ll let his dad show him affection, even enjoys it now. He works hard in school and never acts out.

Paz was always an active, inquisitive person. She goes with Quaritch to drop the boys off at school, then rides with him to works so she can take his car during the day. She likes to go to the park for a walk or the library to check out books she finds interesting or dvds she thinks her family will like. She’ll go on little adventures like going to small local shops that look interesting to her or driving somewhere random just to explore. She’s always back in time to pick up Quaritch from work, then the boys from school. At night she loves making dinner with her sons and helping them with their homework. They’ll all watch some tv together before heading off to bed. Paz and Quaritch always linger for a little bit waiting for the other to say something other than goodnight. They never do.

A weekend visit turns into a week trip, then a multi week trip and soon it’s been a full month. Paz has no desire to leave. Quaritch throws another bonfire one weekend for no other reason then he wants to before winter fully takes hold. The boys happily play fight with each other. Paz is wrapped up in a blanket watching them with a smile. Quaritch is right by her side, itching to hold her. He’s scared to say anything that might drive her away but he’s still pining for her hard. “This is really nice,” he says.

“It is,” Paz says dreamily

“I think we’ll have the best Thanksgiving and Christmas we’ve ever had this year.”

Paz is shocked thinking about how much time she’s already been here and how fast it’s all gone by. But still she wants to stay, “I think we will too.”

Quaritch’s heart is racing. Tentatively he puts an arm around her. Slowly Paz sinks onto his chest. They say absolutely nothing to each other. And then Spider looks over at them. “Dad still loves you,” he yells to his mom.

“Miles!”

“He told me when we were drunk!”

Paz laughs, “you let our 16 year old drink?”

Quaritch shrugs, “I was worried I’d never see him again. I wanted to have his first beer with him.” Paz is smiling at him with soft eyes.

“Just kiss,” Hunter yells.

“Alright parties over,” Quaritch says getting up to heard his boys into the house, “time to go to bed.”

Once the boys are gone the adults finally talk. “Spider wasn’t lying. I do still love you.”

“I….i still love you too..”

“But?”

“But we need to work on some things. Couples counseling for starters and maybe…”

“You want me to try to make up for what I did in the war.”

“There’s no making up for the things we’ve done. We can’t bring back the lives we took or restore the land we destroyed.”

“So what’s the point?”

“The point is that it’s the right thing to do. To try and be better. You’ve always wanted to be the hero. The brave military commander doing what’s best for your country. But all that’s a lie. No hero would ever do the things we’ve done. So for once fight for yourself. Save your soul Miles. Be the real hero our boys will actually look up to.”

Quaritch thinks about it for a long time before finally saying, “I’ll try. For our family, I’ll try.” Tentatively Paz kisses him. It’s a small innocent kiss as if testing whether the spark is really still there. And it is. They go from that kiss to desperately making out, to spending the night together.

Too bad for them Spider catches them coming out of the same room the next morning. “So,” he asks with a wry knowing smile, “how’d you sleep last night?”

“Go get your brother. We’re having a family meeting,” Quaritch says.

“Why? Are you having another kid after last night?”

“Go get your brother!” Spider runs off cackling.

So yeah I think you can pretty much see how’d it wrap up from there. Paz and Quaritch work on their relationship, Quaritch works to be a better man and they all live happily ever after. I honestly got really carried away with this one for some reason. I just kept getting ideas and couldn’t help myself. I really hope you enjoyed it though! 💞

Edit, if you want some bonus content from this au you can check out this post where I wrote some additional thoughts and better explained ideas I couldn’t find the words for in this post.

[cookinguptales]

So... Dante's Inferno. I promised my second post would be a deep dive into the parallels and allusions being made to Dante in s2 of Malevolent. In other words, I'm going to finally make my case for you.

I think it's a pretty good one! But I guess whether you agree with me is up to you.

I'll preface this by saying that the last time I read the Inferno cover-to-cover was about fifteen years ago. I did some skimming to reacquaint myself while relistening to this season, but I didn't do a deep dive. So let's just call this an inexhaustive list, okay? I'm sure there are more examples than I'm going to throw out in this post, but I figured that I'm writing a tumblr meta not a dissertation, so it would be okay if I didn't have every single potential allusion.

I'll also say that any quotes I make are from the Mandelbaum translation just because it's by far the easiest to understand. I'm not going to be doing citations or anything (again, not a dissertation) but if you want to know any of my sources, just drop me a line and I'll be happy to drop the canto.

(cw: discussions of suicide, violence, and general Christianity)

As I said before, I believe that the Dreamlands, as Arthur Lester experienced them, were a manifestation of Dante's Dis that The King in Yellow used specifically to give Arthur a path towards penitence and salvation, hoping that he would eventually allow himself some sort of "divine forgiveness."

In other words, the KIY forced Arthur to face the punishments of the last four circles of Dante's Inferno in the hopes that it would cause Arthur to let go of his guilt, and therefore his attachment, to Faroe. And then, of course, he could make his move.

(In plainer English, sometimes a person who is dreaming wishes that they were dreaming, not knowing that they already are. Like that, Dante wanted to be forgiven for his actions not realizing that he already was. Dreamlands, penitence, guilt, etc. It's a whole thing.)

I'm going to try to stay on track in this post because there's a lot to cover. I'm going to talk about some of these concepts and themes a lot more in-depth later, but for now I just wanna lay out some very surface-level observations.

Dis is a gated section of Dante's Hell that includes circles 6-9 -- in other words, the circles dedicated to punishing the heretics, the violent, the fraudulent, and the traitors.

We should probably technically start with 6 and make our way down, but the ordering gets a little fuzzy as we go, so I'm going to structure this a little differently.

This is my meta so frankly I'm going to do what I like here. I'm just going to talk about these in the order I find them most compelling.

The first part of s2 that really made me sit up and take notice was the living forest that Arthur and John pass through near the beginning of the Dreamlands. Dante's forest of souls in the seventh circle is one of the most famous and lingering images of the entire poem, so it immediately caught my attention.

I'm going to be dedicating an entire post just to this forest, so I won't go into too much detail here, but there is a forest in the seventh circle where the trees are black and gnarled, like the ones in the Dreamlands, and like the ones in the Dreamlands, they were watered with blood.

These are the bodies of souls who committed suicide, and Dante is told that when the end times come and Hell is emptied out, when all of the other souls are reunited with their bodies, these souls, in punishment for taking their physical bodies for granted, will be forced to carry their own corpses hanging from their branches.

These trees can speak and bleed, and -- I mean, there's a lot to say about themes of suicide and self-sacrifice in s2. There's even more to say about this concept of protecting your physical body, not giving it up, and not allowing yourself to be separated from it. And then what does it mean when John and Arthur sacrifice a piece of themselves to this living wood in the end...?

Those are questions for a later post. But the parallels between the Dreamlands forest and that in the Inferno seem clear -- and that's before the winged monsters come. Yes, that happens in the Inferno, too, and they're Harpies.

(*looks into the camera like Kermit the Frog*)

There is also depiction of dismemberment in this section of Inferno, which is another pretty crucial similarity to Malevolent.

Ugh, I did get bogged down in some details. Let's be brief with the rest of 7.

Other key punishments found in the seventh circle of Hell and also the Dreamlands: a sea of red sand in a desert that is so hot that it constantly burns you, a vast ravine, an incredibly painful storm, and various red bodies of water surrounded by black rocks. Different water does different things, but none of it's really good. It's probably good that John and Arthur didn't go in the red or purple lakes.

(Perhaps more of a stretch, when Dante and Virgil are taken to the next circle of Hell, it's via a huge serpentine creature that can sting people. It's not exactly the same as the snake in the boat... but well. It is a serpent and a boat is a method of conveyance.)

Circle 8 -- fraud. Circle 8 is comprised of these things called "malebolge", and I've seen a lot of different translations of that word. The male- part is easy -- it's the same one that we see in "malevolent". Evil. The -bolge part I've seen translated as pouches, ditches, trenches, and... well, pits.

There is this really, really, really long part of the poem where they go around to all the pits to see all the different kinds of punishment for fraud. I'm not going to be exhaustive here, nor do I think that all of it lines up quite as 1:1 as it did in circle 7. Some of these things I'm about to point out I think are stretches but others I think are pretty clear.

The two main parallels to circle 8 that I see in Malevolent are the giant pit that they fall into (where they encounter the creature that's being fed) and the smaller prison pits that they're later trapped in by the KIY.

Let's talk about the cave system first. When Dante and Virgil first enter Dis (and in other parts going forward) they struggle with a lot of uneven, gravelly terrain that Dante occasionally falls on. (Created by earthquakes that happened because of Jesus, but that's not important.) That does seem to correspond to the gravelly ground that gave way beneath Arthur and John to send them into the vast blackness that has quite a bit in common with a few of the malebolge. One malebolge is an endless black void that Dante eventually realizes is filled with black pitch. (See: the endless darkness of the pit.) Another is filled with stench and refuse, like the rotting remnants of the creature's dinners. Another involves heads being wrenched from their place and turned around in their sockets, reminiscent of Arthur's dislocated arm.

Other malebolge seem to align with later experiences, like when they are in the ritual halls and in the prison pits themselves. There are two malebolge that seem to speak to Arthur's concern that John will either be separated from him or take over his body: one pit contains dragon-like snakes that bite the punished sinners, then slowly transform into the sinner as the sinner becomes the snake; the other pit involves people being quite literally cleaved in two.

(From the part where the dragons become one with the sinners, then take their bodies. Sounds familiar!)

A third malebolge contains sinners who are being tortured with incessant thirst, like Lorick the cana.

So I do think that the actual contents of these evil pits come up fairly often throughout Arthur's travails, but I think the much bigger issue, and the one that maps more clearly onto Arthur's time in the Dreamlands, is the concept of pits designed to punish prisoners in the first place. The description of the malebolge (circular pits surrounded by a huge wall that encircles all of them) is similar to that of the prison pits (many circular pits that are encircled by a huge wall) and, like the sinners bound to their malebolge, John and Arthur are being tortured in their prison pit as well.

Even more interesting, I think, is a particular sinner that can be found later in the 9th circle. (Forgive me for jumping ahead a bit, but you'll see in a moment why I'm doing it.) There's a man named Ugolino that Dante encounters in the lake of ice who is frozen to another man -- and Ugolino is eating that man's head. Why? Because in life, that man held Ugolino and his children prisoner and purposefully starved them.

Now -- this next part is argued over by both translators and scholars (one of the translators I consulted for this had a whole diatribe about this in the middle of his translation, lmao) but what I'm about to say does seem to be an accepted interpretation of the text. I even checked Sparknotes and it's the only interpretation they give, so I assume that regardless of what Dante intended, this is a common modern understanding of the scene.

Ugolino, after his children had died (arguably due to his own actions), was forced to consume their flesh.

(Some scholars say he just starved to death, but again, even Sparknotes is a big proponent of the cannibalism theory. lmao)

So... we have a story about a prisoner being denied food specifically to demoralize him and force him to feed on the flesh of his fellow prisoners. That sounds familiar. :')

(And "Faust", of course, is an allusion to another literary figure who dealt with the devil...)

I think that regardless of how well the specific punishments of the pits fit Arthur's journey (I'd say... so-so, depending on the punishment), the concept of punishment pits in general is strongly associated with the Dreamlands, and what happened to Arthur in those pits is uh. Let's just say that Dante did it first.

Now... before I go onto the ninth circle, one of the clearest, most obvious, and in some ways most fascinating allusions to Dante, I'll quickly backtrack to the sixth circle of Hell, heresy.

Heresy is a complicated thing in a universe that contains both Christianity and a lot of other gods, and I think it's certainly dealt with in s2, but maybe in not quite the same ways...

The description of the sixth circle of Hell is pretty quick and pretty sparse. Essentially, it's a vast plain of open tombs that are surrounded by fire. They're made of stone and the people inside them are supposed to be dead, but they are unable to rest, instead being roasted alive inside of their tombs.

I puzzled over this one for a while, and I think it's still entirely possible that it was meant to be skipped altogether in Malevolent. But. There is a part at the very beginning of s2 that never quite seemed to tie into the rest of the narrative, and I wonder if, in a way, it was meant to be one of these stone tombs.

A stone building, like the stone tombs indicated by Dante. Roofs of red iron, like the stone heated to "glowing heat" that Dante likened to hot iron...

A large hole in the ground. Perhaps a stack of firewood...

Inhabitants thought to be "departed" but clearly still very much still here...

I don't know. Could be an allusion to the fiery tombs of the living dead. Hard to say.

It's hard to know where he was going with this portion, honestly. I get the impression that something might have been headed off by an audience decision here, so idk where it would have gone if it had found its logical conclusion. The souls in the sixth circle can see the future (but not the present), so it could have been something pretty cool.

Ah, well. Hard to know.

I'll get back to more solid ground. The ninth circle.

The ninth circle of Hell, home of traitors (including Satan himself), is one of the most well-known parts of the poem. At the bottom of Hell is, quite infamously, a frozen lake of ice.

I mentioned poor Ugolino before, but there are other prisoners of the ice who are also very interesting.

One in particular, Branca d’Oria, seems thematically important. This was kind of a weird addition to Dante's Hell. See, Branca d’Oria was a real-live person who was still alive when this was written. How is a living person in Hell? Well, Dante asked him that in the poem, too.

According to The Inferno, Branca d’Oria's crime (the murder of his father-in-law) was so terrible that his soul was taken down to Hell while he was still alive, and his soul was replaced with a devil who took control of his body.

(If you think that a simple murder doesn't seem worse than all the other stuff in Hell, I guess... this is kind of Dante being a true crime girlie...?)

Regardless of Dante's writing choices, I think you can see why this one caught my eye. Once Arthur and John get to the lake of ice, their imminent confrontation with the KIY has them both wondering if just that will happen to Arthur. Will a devil (John) take control of his body and cast his soul out?

There are a lot of passages of Dante that are concerned with the attachment of the soul to the body, so I'll probably do an entire post on that. Lot of stuff about whether souls can be severed from their mortal form, whether they can be replaced by other spirits, etc.

Kayne specifically brings up this question (as does the KIY) in the lake of ice, which brings me to the other really fascinating part of the ninth circle.

Caina.

(Yes, named for that Cain.)

Caina is the portion of the lake of ice that is reserved specifically for people who have killed family members. It's part of the realm of traitors, not murderers, and is considered particularly heinous. Dante finds two brothers who are being punished by being quite literally frozen together.

(Again, two souls, one body, one whole, there's a vibe here.)

I talked a little bit about Kayne before... I don't think he's bound to this part of the Inferno, or even an organic part of it, but I do think that he's consciously playing along with it. After all, he chose to meet Arthur and John in the frozen lake. He chose to call himself Kayne. It's not his real name. That seems pretty clear. But it's what he chose to call himself.

He lured Arthur in with the music box symbolizing his dead daughter. He dirtied it with blood. He purposefully leaned into Arthur's guilt about "murdering" his daughter. And he called himself Kayne.

Feels pointed to me.

And I do think Kayne very certainly belongs in the ring reserved for traitors. lmao. I cannot imagine that he's not fucking the two of them over somehow.

Side note, I'd also say that the description of amphitheater-like rooms feels like an allusion to the Inferno right there. Its circles are shaped like an amphitheater with the lake of ice right in the center!

And just to be clear, it points both up and down. When they get to Satan and fly past him, the same shape is going out the other way. (Through the earth's core.)

The final really big allusion to Dante is not an allusion to the Inferno at all, but to Purgatorio/Paradiso. I am speaking, of course, of the garden.

A garden that his followers can't enter... A garden where things are presumably safe... A garden where Arthur finally comes to true understanding...

I mean. It's Eden, right? Of course it's Eden.

And Arthur, in his own way, is partaking of the fruit.

Eden is actually where Purgatorio ends and Paradiso begins, in Dante's travels. There's... a lot to be said here, about "Earthly Paradise", as it's called in Dante, and how it's a symbol of regaining innocence, its connections with Beatrice, etc. But I'll leave that for another post.

The reason why it's important here, though, is that it symbolizes an escape from Hell. It's what Dante found after going through all the punishments of Hell, after meeting Satan, after regaining his metaphorical innocence. It's what the KIY was dangling in front of Arthur as escape, both from the Dreamlands and his own guilt.

The fact that it was used to manipulate, to hurt, to fake Arthur out, is actually such an interesting twist on the source material. I kind of love it.

(I'll also just say real quick that I believe that the selenine (while existing as a cure-all in other Lovecraft literature) is actually a parallel to the waters of Lethe, which can also be found in Dante's Earthly Paradise. This is water that makes you forget your past and all past sins so you can become purified and continue on to heaven! Or get your ass snatched by the King in Yellow! I'll talk about this more later!)

And then... y'know, there's Daniel.

I have a lot to say about Daniel in the future, but for now... I think this is what it all kind of boils down to.

Like yes... on a surface level, there are a lot of Dantean punishments in this book. Yes, Arthur starts rambling about the Minotaur, who guards the seventh circle of Hell. Yes, there are tons of little asides and allusions to the cosmology of this universe.

But I think this here is the key. This whole dream is about judgment from a god that Arthur no longer believes in and absolution that will never come.

Arthur is, quite frankly, out of options. He's been clinging to this guilt and shame for a very long time now, and he sees no real possibility for forgiveness from God or anyone. Only punishment.

So... the KIY gives him God's punishment. But do the tortures of the Inferno really make Arthur come to terms with his own guilt? Not in the way the KIY wants, obviously, but... I mean, I do think there is some growth there. I just don't think it came from the torture.

Arthur wanted to be tortured. He thinks he deserves to be tortured. To be punished. That comes up... many times throughout the podcast. But it isn't punishment that helps him come to terms with his own actions, that help him come to live quietly with his guilt.

It's love.

And Dante's Inferno, at its heart, is about love. According to Dante, the deepest depths of Hell are frozen because ice is the lack of warmth, and a lack of warmth is the lack of love.

Because here's what Dante's Commedia is about, from beginning to end. Dante is having a crisis of faith and his lost love, his dear deceased Beatrice, orchestrates this journey (and eventually becomes his guide) from her place in heaven and saves his soul on earth -- through her love.

I'll talk about this more later, I swear I will, but for now... The KIY gave Arthur the Hell he thought he deserved because he wanted Arthur to find grace through penitence. The King wanted Arthur to give up his past so he could steal his future.

But what Arthur actually gleaned from this awful experience is perhaps closer to what Dante actually intended his message to be. That closing yourself off from others, that hurting others, that betraying others, these are all the worst sins. In the end, it's a violation of human connection that will damn you.

And the only real way to salvation is through love.

I feel like in some ways this is the largest allusion of all, opaque as it is. This is what the entire poem is about. Not just gawking at punishments but finding growth through love.

It's about learning that shame can't fix you, y'know? Love and support are an awful lot more effective if you truly wish to change.

And that, my friends, is Dante's Divine Comedy. :')

[rebelrebelwrites]

Fic Friday! ❤️ Rebel’s Weekly Fic Recs

As always, this week's recs are...

As always, please mind the tags on any recommended story for your own personal preferences.

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The Classic You’ve Heard Of But Somehow Haven’t Read Yet: Of Desire and Despair by WildHarlow

What you need to know going in:

Mmm, another classic post-S1 fic where Sauron visits Galadriel in her dreams in an attempt to tempt her to reconsider his offer... with unflinching desperation, desire, and a semblance of honesty that scorches. Scintillating and spine-tingling in its gut-clenching conclusion, this is a quick, sinful read that you’ll want to return to over and over again.

Complete, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Twitter and AO3.

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The AU You Need to Immerse Yourself In Because, Well, Wow: Though the Gods and the Years Relent, Shall Be by @demonscantgothere

What you need to know going in:

Hnnnnggg, this fic. 😍 Another beautiful contribution to this fandom from @demonscantgothere, this sweet, steamy fic also offers a really unique premise: after the end of all things, Eru remakes the world, and in that world in Valinor, a young Galadriel meets a Maia named Mairon. In this world, Mairon does not become corrupted, and he and Galadriel have the chance to fall for each other without the obstacles they would’ve had otherwise. Don’t get me wrong, I love the tragedy of this ship, but the hope and the pure softness of this story is breathtaking and such a balm for the soul. ❤️

Complete, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

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The Complete But Never Forgotten Masterpiece: Queen Takes King by @coraleethroughthelookingglass

What you need to know going in:

10 years after she says yes to Sauron’s proposal, Galadriel reflects on the decision—and the dominance she wields over her Dark Lord—in the world where shadows lie where they both reign as equals. I love me a Dark Galadriel fic, and this one doesn’t disappoint! This two-shot delivers delicious smut and a delightfully devoted Dark Lord and his Queen. 🔥

Complete, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

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The WIP That Will Wreck You (In the Best Way): The Trials of Mairon by @jackpotgirl

What you need to know going in:

This is another fic I got into in the earlier days of the fandom, and I need to catch up on the latest update, but what a binge-read! If you’re somehow unfamiliar, this story sees Galadriel after the events of LOTR in Valinor, and at the bid of the Valar, she must put Sauron through three trials to prove that he’s worthy of redemption. After two failed attempts, they’re both thrust back to the events of S1 of RoP…. But this time, Galadriel knows who Halbrand is. The two push and pull at one another on a tremulous path of redemption, but the trials aren’t limited to Mairon. 👀 Binge-worthy, indeed!

WIP, Explicit

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Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

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The Can't Stop Consuming No Matter What Time It Is Fic: but i thought you might by @bad-surprise

What you need to know going in:

This. Fic! (Listen I realize I start all of these with an exclamation but I don’t know what to tell you, my feelings are my feelings and you guys are the ones doing this to me so… 😂) I binged the heck out of this story this week and got caught up this morning, and I knew immediately I’d be adding it to this week’s list. In this modern AU, Galadriel and Halbrand have a tumultuous, on-and-off-again romance throughout high school/college and as adults, marked by crippling anxiety, religious trauma, and a struggle to communicate… but a fierce (and often unspoken), love for each other that leads to them continuing to fight for happiness. It’s beautiful, dark, and achingly good.

WIP, Explicit

Read the story.

Follow the author on Tumblr and AO3.

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🤩🤩🤩

Me at all these fics:

Don’t see your story on this list yet? Keyword: yet. Please don’t fret! I can only recommend so many each week, but I am always looking for more stuff to read, share, and generally shower with love, so please feel free to reply with your own fics or your personal faves. I have plenty more to recommend… ❤️

Until next week!