#i really hate academic writing
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Here we go. Only a 4-day week this week because I've got an assignment to write that I'm spending the weekend doing. Honestly, I'd rather be teaching. I hate academic writing.
#post#cairfrey teaches#teaching#teacher life#i really hate academic writing#especially referencing#at the end of this PGCE my reference will forever be#just trust me bro
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Unfortunately all chatgpt is good for is interview/job application stuff which I think says a lot about the hiring process as a whole
#wrenfea.exe#as an actual artifical intelligence? no its horrible bc it really ISNT one#its a writing synthesizer it generates writing based on data searches and boundaries from training#thats what a neural network is its a very convoluted input-output sequence#it has no capacity to understand the meaning behind what it generates#it is simply generating the specific things that the user is looking for#the job interview process has become so robotic and automized that ai fits in perfectly#but employers HATE that people are turning to chatgpt for cover letters and interview answers#so it was fair for them to use filtering programs to accept/deny applications before it got in front of an actual human being#and its ok for them to use ai and pre-written formats to make job announcements descriptions and interview questions#but god forbid we are forced to use those exact same tools to get a humans attention so we can get a job and not starve#pushing aside the whole copyright debate on chatgpt and the environmental impact of its power usage btw#im soley analyzing how its become commonly utilized on both sides#by interviewer and interviewed#the mechanization of the whole process is now on both sides#it just seems very inhuman..#its also how some people have figured out how to somehow become employed multiple times by the same company due to lack of human oversight#and how automated theyve made their hiring process#probably should have made these tags into a separate reblog oops#also disclaimer do not cut and paste right into your application materials bc chatgpt often just lies#also many places now can tell you used chatgpt due to how similar its answers are#i only use it to make a template and see how things can be phrased to be more professional and buzzwordy#id never use it for something actually creative#and dear god do not write academic essays with it#i tried using it to supplement my own cover letter template but it was too robotic even for a cover letter#it is very good at accessing and summarizing publically available information#thats all it does not make sure the information is true or good
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Looking for academic articles on JSTOR be like:
What you WANT to search: "Representations of Sexuality in 19th century France"
What JSTOR, for some unfathomable reasons, puts in the FIRST PAGE of results: "The Inherent Homophobia Of Agricultural Machineries Used in Sixteenth-century Indonesia"
JSTOR, What the fuck, man?
#academic aesthetic#academia#academic writing#light academia#dark academia#university#essay#essay writing#chaotic academic aesthetic#dark academic aesthetic#jstor#i hate you#really#tumblr
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#starting to feel Real Anxious about my final assignments im so fucking stupidjfkddi#naurr cuz i feel it it my stomach this is NOT looking good i dont know how im gonna make everything but i just know that i gotta find a way#djdkdkdj this is NOT LOOKING GOOD I REPEAT I THINK im gonna get into an anxious episode which means im gonna feel like im about to have a#heart attack during the entire time im awake and im not gonna be able to sleep bc of it#nxnxxjdj this is great!!! and tem what's funnier is that i set myself up cuz i HAD time i HAD TIME i just didn't have the will#whats tem omg but anyways i feeeel it i feel it im gonna start feeling so bad tomorrow#ughim so fuckiggndn stupid#need to write an 8 page internship report due Thursday#a two page final assignment for history class due Wednesday#a group thingie due friday... i dont know if im gonna have the brains to write all of this during three days cuz tomorrow i wont have time#i have classes during the afternoon and night and i need to make a presentation for this other final assignment due tomorrow night so the#morning is gonna be about doing that lmfao im so cooked cuz i dont really have an easy time writing i hate writing specially academically s#like i hope i die i hope i get ran over or something#jfkskd came back to jot down that i also have a portfolio to turn in on friday lmfaooo
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what if i applied to a masters course. just. for funsies.
#sigh#i feel nauseous thinking about The Future again#i miss being a student#i’m not very good at it but i miss it#if i did it part time it might be better?#idk i think i just miss being in a community#and also learning i miss learning#i miss writing academically#as much as i also hated writing papers i really miss how proud i felt when they were done#i also just generally miss academic settings i felt like i fit in there#i feel a little bit like crying maybe this is what i need to do maybe this is what i should do
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*said with increasing distress, eyes blodshot and an empty mug in hand* you guys remember writing right????? you guys remember posting fic and publishing things and talking to editors about potential projects right???? you guys remember being creative in your creative jobs and not just rereading old work and having a panic attack over the time wasted over curating hyperspecific character playlists that you get mad about five minutes later right????? i'm not insane right????? creative block is normal even if it lasts for months right???? i haven't written a fic in YEARS but it's ok i'm ok i have to finish TWO original pieces for next week that I haven't even started but it'll probably be fineeeee I'm totally not being a complete and raving lunatic about it it's probably gonna be okay <3 yay <3
#AND I STILL HAVEN'T APPLIED FOR MY NEW SHOW IN THEATRES ?1!!!!???? AJAAGAGAHAHAHFGH#BABYGIRL I CAN BE DRY IN WAYS YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE FOR PROJECTS THAT ARE ALREADY EVEN PLANNED OUT#the words just won't come out idk#ok so i attended one of the most prestigious universities in the country re: my field of expertise and carefully improved in my craft#just to go into a creative field and be an unemployed fuckhead who won't even write#i mean I am ALSO an academic that is very much true as well. but you don't really earn money from that either now do you#especially not in humanities#anyway. i need to go wash some dishes#it'll be fine probably i just need to lock tf in#it sucks being the one in the relationship that has no job no money no prospects and is already a burden to their parents#like literally they're being very nasty about it and like i know they care about me and stuff but they are very much. not supportive#it doesn't mean they're openly hating on it tbh i think they've given up on trying to disagree with my life choices and atp they just judge#when i'm not there. but evidently i find out anyway because of course i do#tbh won't complain about the lack of open support though like it's cool you disapprove of my relationship and my work and my life overall#ok rant over i'm big now. i'm an adult#ACTUALLY should i write a paper on disco elysium maybe that'd cheer me up. DON'T ask me how de is cheerful it isn't#my brain just works in mysterious ways#also gonna write an essay on my relationship with god. and get it published. probably gonna quote dostoievski a couple times as well. maybe#who give a fuck anymore man people these days can write ANYTHING. i love being alive in a world where printing is a thing. also computers#personal
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Why must October be marred with a week of exams the week of Halloween
#Omfg I hate when things pile up#I have back to back exams that don’t seem to ever stop#In history we have three consecutive tests#And every other class decided to have an exam too#I like writing but atp I’m pumping out an essay every week it’s insane#We have a geosystems test next week and we’re not even done learning the material#One of the history exams is from a complete unit ago! I’m trying to refresh my memory but it’s hard#All of that on top of work and extracurriculars just#God#It’s just so overwhelming#Multiple profs have been like don’t let this be the class you procrastinate studying for#Well what the fuck else am I supposed to do I have to prioritize stfu#Believe it or not your 101 class is not my most pressing issue#It is not the crown jewel of my academic empire#I have straight A’s and I don’t want to lose it I need to make up for that one class I got a c in#I can’t get it off of my transcript even though it’s a fucking elective#That I don’t even need#Do I even want [identifying info] does anyone really give a shit#These tags were brought to you by my 8pm class please thank your sponsor WXYZ community college#If you are a confused mutual I promise this makes sense I’m not misleading anyone
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This essay's gonna rip
#yes it's no longer a Post it's an Essay. i really like nonfiction writing but haven't had a lot of space to do it in a non-academic context#so i'm dipping my toe into it with this stupid show. it's gonna be good i promise i might even post it on like a real website#even though i hate objectivism and am bringing up to criticize it i want to make sure i'm not misrepresenting it#from the half-baked memories i have of reading ayn rand when i was in ninth grade#open mick night
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sometimes i think of that one quote. a quote, was it? i'm certain it was a post, really, perhaps here or elsewhere—but it was something about how we are a medley of all the people we have ever met, and how we come to carry a little piece of everyone that comes in and out of our life, whether to stay or merely in passing. we bear a mirror shard of memory from each person we have ever loved, hated, called a friend, so on.
and i remembered something.
when i was younger (i'm not so old so as to be saying that, but it's true that i was younger then), and i was all over roleplaying with people online and meeting new names—in what were probably not the best spaces, i found out later on—i had a thing i would ask. nothing much, really, a harmless question yet one that for one reason or another i would find myself bringing up under the pretense of getting to know someone a little better, but still a question.
it was about their favourite song, i think. that, or maybe a song they perceive to be about themselves, but maybe it was more of the former.
either way, i'd gotten a plethora of answers, the songs of which i could not remember the titles of but could still remember in vague recollections, and in the off and rare chance i still come across the artists who performed those songs i still think of those now-nameless people i had once called friend.
hey. i still carry a piece of you. to one: i hope you're doing well; to another, i hope that you finished college. the other shapeless—i hope you found a promotion at work. another: i hope love worked out well for you.
i'd left a lot of people walking forward, or perhaps inevitably it was them whose paths divulged from mine, but hey, i still think of you. i know you liked this thing, and i know you were really fond of this one anime. and i don't really think i have the heart to think negative in any sense of these ghosts from years passed, but i still remember.
i hope you're taking care. i hope you're well. i still remember.
#🌑 chuca rambles#oh i teared up a bit writing this#took a bit of a break to write this because i've had one of my classmates rec me two artists this academic year#and i ended up really liking them#she has good taste in music! but the thought of music being rec'd to me#seeing the kinds of songs that this person or one another person likes#it says a lot about them#i just. argh#i've thought about it time and time again and i just have so much love#it drives me nuts#of course i'm still very much capable of hate and anger—i've hurt many people that way as anyone might have in their lives#but when i think about love and the intensity of it#it just sweeps over me like a tide#wow#yeah#ahsndlakhn#OK BACK TO WRITING FINALS SHIT ✍️✍️✍️
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I think more college students should try doing essays and projects on blue collar labor issues, if for no other reason than to highlight just how under represented blue collar issues are in the academic spaces
#I've done research on all kinds of weird little topics that are hard to find sources on#but the topics I consistently have the most trouble finding academic research on are blue collar labor issues#stuff like safety education for commercial fisherman#which the U.S government actually has LOTS of data on#but I once had to argue a professor into letting me write about it because I could not find a signal academic paper on the subject anywhere#or military wives and involuntary volunteer work - something that ANY military wife will tell you happens all the time#but academic research just doesn't exist about it#I've seen more academic research about aromantic identity than blue collar labor issues for christ sake#academics really hate blue collar industries in a way that's just crazy to me
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one of those fifty things was a classist af post about how fanfic writers can't actually write for shit, yes all of them apparently bc they aren't educated in proper literary devices or whatever.
are you fucking hearing yourself
#idk man but seeing that after writing fic for 11 years in a language that's not my native one & evolving ON MY ABSOLUTE OWN and then-#-going as far as to study literature now that i have the chance & finally gain enough confidence in my skills to start working on-#-my own original work after years of daydreaming about it just to read THAT from a posh spoiled bitch really fuckin' felt like a kick to the#-balls that i do not possess#like fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU#among other things like being fully purposefully deadnamed AGAIN today after yesterday's family fiasco#and getting swamped by fifty fuckin academic tasks left and right#AND a constant bombardment of imagss of mulilated children in posts with notes full of zionists excusing said massacre#and then THIS fuckin post abt fic writers or whatever#i cant take it seriously im at my fuckin limit but Unironically I'm about to start crying out of sheer anger and fury#i dont like feeling so angry. i hate it and it makes me feel like a monster but i cant DO this shit anymore#it's only Tuesday and i have less than 1% drive left for the week what the fuck#tw vent#maybe delete later idk
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Academia is so left-wing until you actually have to read research papers and then it’s just 20 different papers on why colonization was okay
#I swear to god I read a paper that said the Koreans should’ve thanked the Japanese#and another on why settler colonization was actually beneficial for North Africans#several others I should say#and it’s always like ‘these Africans were so eager to help their new rulers so many of them joined the military and showed theirpatriotism!’#and then you figure out by painfully piecing things together that no. actually. it’s just that the colonizers controlled the economy & jobs.#none of those Africans really had any choice at all— the only way to make money & keep their families alive was through military service#serving for a country you hate to help them suppress other groups just like you. and then the world asks for your *gratefulness*#like no! colonization is fucking bad!!!!#to delete later#was gonna write a fic to vent my emotions but I have neither the time nor the skills required for what I want to do#might try anyways but unlikely#academic discussion: slavery is the last stage and end goal of capitalism and the very principles of American society perpetuate racism#academic research: :( black people have it so easy whites are soooo overhated :( :( :(#also featured here: me vs the character count limit on tags
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Former gifted child, aka I'm an only child and always have had good grades, so now my mum is convinced I can get into doctoral studies with no publications or conferences under my belt, and I am very much fully aware that it is Not Possible. I can never live up to whatever image of me she's got in her head! That person never existed!! This is no longer grade school!! Whoop whoop!!
#I fucking hate it here lol#what would I even write a doctorate about man I don't really have academic interests#I hope some kind old bookbinder accepts me as his apprentice and I can just sew and glue shit together all day long for a paycheck#anyways back to thinking about making plushies
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Idk like we all have baggage that we bring with us when we view media. For example, my biggest pet peeve is when people put words in my mouth. Which means that when Sam does his armchair psychology thing on Dean or when he accuses Dean of not trusting him/thinking he's evil/whatever other negative thought Sam has about himself and Dean's expression clearly shows that Dean doesn't think that and he thinks that Sam is being ridiculous, I kind of want to bash Sam's head in. But, like, that's my own shit, and I would never go on tumblr and write a ten page essay claiming that Sam is a gaslighting narcissist who tries to abusively police Dean's emotions. And I wonder what sort of experience and mindset would lead to someone doing so.
#like everyone has their own lens but i think there is a point when it stops being a perspective and starts becoming disingenuous#bc you can sense a pretty clear agenda in some of those posts#not to say that you can't write things that are just rants about characters you hate but i'm specifically talking about the ones that try#to present themselves as academic or claim their perspective is neutral when it obviously isn't#idk i'm thinking too much about this#when it's fiction and whatever it's not that deep#i really should spend more time thinking about the show and less time analyzing the weirdos that i block
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Also I am finding I may have chosen the wrong music degree to study :')
#Composition is hell on earth holy shit#Tbf it's not really what I'm passionate about so that does factor in#But I do quite like ethnomusicology. music studies and music analysis (minus actually looking at sheet music and analysing that)#Those are really fun to do and despite the absolute slog that is academic readings. They're really interesting#If I didn't hate traditional academics with my every fibre. I would consider going back to uni to major in like ethnomusicology#Specifically maybe specialising in music in Asia#But I know that I won't be going back to uni once I'm done with this#Though at least I know gave qualification to write music on a professional level. Just don't actually ask me about what I learned :'D#eunice rambles
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once again academically challenged by my academically challenging degree
#screaming and crying#dramatically throwing myself onto my bed to wallow#this is actually a lie I’m not really academically challenged? I just have to find sources and write a short introduction to a procedure#it’s just a boring one I don’t care for lmao#I’m sure you can do very cool science with it! it sounds neat#but in a way where I’m like 👍🏼 ok that’s cool please do not elaborate further#unfortunately I am the mf who has to elaborate#but i did find an in-depth paper about it that I’m going to use as one of my only sources bc this is a poster and l Hate it#like. to be salty for a sec. I know like the very bare bones of the procedure from the introductory lecture#HOWEVER the lecturer was so bad at her job that the two (2) methods she provided detail on are jumbled up in my head#bc the lectures sucked ass. originally I thought it was bc I was popping 600mg ibuprofen and having to fight to keep my eyes open#but no. not only was I not the only one fighting Morpheus it also happened when I went down to 400mg#everything in me is fighting every bit of knowledge that might fight it’s way into my system#someone please save me#damn I wish I was a chatgpt mf. unfortunately I do need to actually practice English academic writing#instead of the usual mess of words that spills out of me unprompted online
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