#i really dont want to deal with people either

[softness-and-shattering]

Creating strawmen, projecting strawmen onto people, they get justifiably upset, you feel vindicated because look they are being awful to you like you said, everyone sinks into their trauma and defensiveness and lashes out, we go in circles and circles of hurting each other instead of protecting ourselves and each other.

It doesnt matter who has it worse. We all have it bad. We're all targeted by the same people and the same ideologies. We're all hurt in similar but varying ways.

Ive seen a significant uptick recently of this "trans men are basically cis men and experience no oppression whatsoever" strawman. Its got to stop. It doesnt make other trans people more valid or more real or more safe to make these claims you have no evidence for. What are you trying to achieve? Because all youre doing is picking a fight and hurting people and getting hurt yourself. Is that what you want from your life? Getting bloodied and weakened in a pointless brawl while the wolves are scratching at the door? Because we really need to work out how to fight the wolves before they batter down the door.

You want respect, decency, a measure of safety? We can have each others backs. But only if you stop stabbing us there. We have much bigger fights to fight than who is the most oppressed tranny. And if we succeed there wont be an answer because we will achieve freedom and safety and and justice. Please just take a breath and look at what we have in common for a minute, instead of imagining all the ways we can hurt each other. Look at what we all have to fight for.

We arent cis men. We dont have male privilege. We dont have the confidence of a cis guy who's never been told no, we're unlearning a lifetime of being told to sit down and shut up and wait our turn and look pretty. We have also navigated complicated relationships with womanhood and femininity and stereotypes and expectations and disappointment. We are also navigating complex relationships with manhood and masculinity and patriarchal expectations and demands and how to build a sense of self that doesnt revolve around asshole dudebro traits like degrading women and bullying other men to prove how manly we are, and acting allergic to emotions. We've all experienced those assholes as women and we sure dont want to become them. We're not transitioning for safety same as you arent, we're trans because its who we are. We always have been and often still are subject to misogyny. Theres no safety pass out of the patriarchy and we tend not be very patriarchal asshole wealthy manly men so we dont have power or status around those types either.

We share so many struggles and so many vulnerabilities and we're so busy fighting each other over nothing of substance just whos worst hurt! And if you dont want to or cant be an activist thats fine we can just be allies. Aquaintances if not friends. Maybe even friends. We're all just people. And Im so so tired of this stupid division every fucking day trying desperately for anyone to see how much we are hurting. I see you. I want us to stop fighting so that we all have one less source of pain. And nonbinary people you are absolutely included as are intersex people as is everyone queer or adjacent. We're all weirdos and we're all punished for it. We all hurt really badly. We all feel and are in some ways invisible. Can we please put down the weapons so that we can rest and heal, and then draw up a game plan of some kind, and then start dealing with the wolves whoever can so we can all be properly safe. Including you. You dont have to be specially oppressed to deserve safety and respect, that comes free with being human. Theres nothing to prove. I believe you.

Like so sorry but after spending 80% of my childhood being sexually harassed (for being seen as a girl) and being sexually harassed (for being trans) and being plain ol' harassed (for being a freak) and being sexually harassed again (for being a freak), I just think you're being maliciously ignorant if you try to claim trans men... don't face misogyny? Or just, violence in general, or even violence specific to us.

This is no longer a debate for me, y'all are just... wrong. On purpose.

[halitis]

Any thoughts on Roy and Hal?

How they would interact with eachother in Roy's Speedy era?

Hal becoming Roys 2nd Parent?

DO I HAVE THOUGHTS

BOY OH BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. ALWAYS. my two faves :DDD

hal is really quite good with kids! probably one of the best in the league i'd argue. it's because he treats them like independent people with thoughts and feelings. while roy loved that at first, it ended up causing some light strife between the two when ollie started going off travelling. because he HAD enough independence, he didn't want more. he wanted someone there.

while hal and roy are close now, they weren't really close before the events of 'snowbirds dont fly'. hal thought roy was a good kid, with a lot of love in his heart (although, sure a bit rebellious but thats to be expected). hal helping roy out like that, helping to save his life, it really put a foothold into their relationship. hal started to realise what roy needed, was different to what he himself needed as a kid and adjusts accordingly. roy loves it and that hal is willing to put in the work for him.

i, personally, don't see hal as roy's parent. i don't think roy needs or wants another parent, he had brave bow and he has ollie and dinah. that isn't to say they aren't family! i just don't think they have a strict label on what they are to each other, they are just family. if anything though, i'd label them either as cousins or hal as his uncle. (this isn't to say i am judging or whatever if you view hal as roy's father! i do incredibly understand why and i do see the potential).

[continued under the read more]

they Bicker a LOT... but it is how roy shows love. hal was concerned at first because during his speedy era, sure roy would tease but he would never argue with him. it took a bit to realise "oh he's just growing up" (hal went through a brief crisis over that one). now you can find them having pedantic arguments over nothing, and if someone interrupts or tries to stop them; they are just like "???? we weren't fighting ????"

hal and roy ended up bonding over sports, hal would take him out to baseball games because it was An Iconic Part of American Culture and he cannot BELIEVE ollie deprived his son of this (roy could not have given less of a fuck), but he ended up getting really into it. to this day they will call each other just to talk about the teams on for each season. sometimes they will go months without talking, only to message out of the blue going "did you SEE that angels game. what the fuck was that!!?"

hal helped out with lian a bit when she was a baby, he's used to dealing with kids and would babysit her when roy just needed a break. now however, lian doesn't really know him that much. roy wants to try and keep her life as stable as possible and hal isn't around enough for roy to trust him to stay a presence... hal adores lian though, roy will silently send through photos and videos and what not and hal will always compliment her. it's so tragic, and hal really hates it but at the same time he does understand. he would probably do the same in roy's position afterall.

roy looked up to hal so much as a speedy, like that is his dad's cool best friend who has seen SPACE and his entire thing is being FEARLESS omg omg. cue hal being smug about this to ollie, that his son thinks hal is cooler than him. ollie is quick to disabuse this notion to roy, with many mortifying videos of the green lantern. roy never looks at hal the same way again.

hal and roy bond over their complicated relationships with carol and jade, it's a lot of sighing and gossiping. it's not a competition, but roy somehow always wins (hal takes a guilty joy in thinking 'at least i'm not roy'). i think they should get to have a girls night. as a treat. let them do each others hair and watch movies and gossip about girls!

i had more to say abt them, but it's 3am and i am so Bone Tired..... hope this fits what u were looking for op! thanks for the ask MWAAAH!

[jatlokgwo]

can you have hpd and also internalized that you shouldnt have/arent worth attention and not have a spesific attention person and not want to spam text people is that possible

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

@seahorses-of-gold here's part 2 tumblr won't post it all at once

21) youll smell different but the body odor really isnt that bad as long as you shower and wear deodorant. perfume or cologne if you want. the reason people say it's bad is because the average person going through male puberty is a cisgender teen boy and they are not known for exemplary hygiene practices 22) if you are a tense person and cannot relax your muscles then shots are probably not for you. i switched to gel around month 3 because i couldn't loosen my leg muscles up enough to make shots not painful 23) best way to get full dosage of gel is to administer it in the proper site, rub in lightly with a silicone spatula (use the ones made from 1 piece not the ones you can separate into 2 pieces), and then rub it in fully with your fingers. the amount that doesnt get on you is minimal 24) get a new silicone spatula specifically for this and wash with soap and water and dry before each use. they air dry fast btw 25) dont shower until 4-5 hours after applying 26) month 5 is about when puberty facial hair began. it will be there but it's gonna be like what a 15 year old boy is so it's up to you what to do with that 27) months 6-10 are when i got the most useful changes. around month 6 i began passing very, very regularly and by month 8 i passed perfectly as a cis guy. im not the most masculine guy in the universe so definitely a gay one but a male nonetheless 28) the men's bathroom isnt that bad as long as you pass decently well. just go in and get your shit done (literally if you have to) then wash your hands leave. men dont talk in the bathroom btw 29) most cis guys dont care if you never use the urinals. a lot of them dont anymore either it's more fun to slack off on your phone in a stall 30) there's a lot of strength increases during this time and they can be fun yet difficult to deal with because you dont know how to use your body yet. i kept grabbing things too hard for a few weeks, many drinks in plastic cups were spilled 31) if your goal is to pass (as was mine) you can absolutely try to make it happen faster however there's no way to know exactly when this will happen. my goal was for it to be within 1-2 years but it clearly was faster 32) if someone who passes fast pretends they're better than you or they did something "better than you" don't listen! they can give you advice yet you will never be the same person and that's ok. do things at your own pace and be patient 33) one piece of advice im very comfortable giving is that a deep voice goes a long way for passing. of course the low and slow dosage works wonders and another tip i have is to speak on the lowest register you can comfortably handle each morning. then speak regularly for the rest of the day 34) you cant make squeaky guinea pig noises anymore :( 35) you can be stealth if you want to there's no need to tell everyone everything. 36) months 8-12 felt like figuring myself out again. i was comfortable in my transition, looked and sounded like a cis guy, and ready to be weird again. this was absolutely the most fun time for me even if there werent huge changes in terms of transitioning 37) it took around month 12 for me to notice how well i actually pass. i did say that other people noticed around month 6ish yet it took me much, much longer. 38) i talk a lot about passing here because that was very important to me but if that isnt your goal it's ok!! your transition is individual to you. 39) dont let go of everything feminine that you've ever liked to force yourself to be more "manly" you'll just be sad and bored. unless you really wanna be a super macho man then go for it. i have pink highlights, i love jewelry, i love cooking, i love embroidery, i love glitter and fluffy animals. these things make life fun and id love them even if I were cis

would anyone appreciate a list of what i've learnt on my first year of T? there were so many unexpected things that no one told me about and I think it could help a few people!

[bmpmp3]

everyone on earth probably has a hypothetical farming sim in their mind's eye that they daydream about on occasion because of the unfortunate situation that despite there being like a thousand farming games released every minute only like 4 of them are any good. and i think this is fun, i think its good to keep the imagination alive. if i made a farming sim i would bring back rival marriages from the old friends of mineral town. i want to steal someones wife.

[hiddenintheveil]

staring at my sibling with my big neurospicy eyes like please ask my about the gods system in this fic series ive devoted myself to binding. please ask me about the Zones culture or how i think kobra and scrap fire would interact if their timelines crossed in any concievable way. please ask why i said "but they got better" after mentioning a crew that died. pleaseeeeee ask me to define my terms when i spout a bunch of lingo you dont know-- i can see the incomprehension on your face-- im just doing it to pique your curiosity :( and theyre just like let me tell you about the worldbuilding ive done for this dnd compaign i want to run / am running / ran / am playing in / warhammer thingymajig / other ttrpg saying :D

[slutdge]

ill just be minding my business and then remember how fucked the experience i had with cps was and just how fucked cps is in general and actively harms the children its supposed to be there to help and get so mad i dig a hole into my skin with my nails so deep it starts drawing blood

[cetoddle]

i love when i mention something about how i quite literally do not have a single friend and whoever is like oh yeah me too :) except my several best friends and my loving significant other who treats me well. okay are you just stupid ??

[cs-eg]

its actually okay 2 not get ppl expensive things 4 Christmas if u literally just do not have money its actually okay 2 not get ppl expensive things 4 Christmas if u literally just do not have money its actually okay 2 not get ppl expensive things 4 Christmas if u literally just do not have money

[kangpingyu]

why is gif making becoming a lost art in fandom spaces

[worldofgoo]

sorry if ive made this exact post before i love metablogging when i have nothing else to say. funny that i gave myself permission to talk and express myself on my main account yet i continue to basically only talk in my personal blog rambling hole, i think i realized a while back that mostly its just my friends that care about my posts/interact with me so posting where theyre concentrated is i guess more efficient and less embarrassing

[dimonds456]

Out.

My home is beautiful It's very bright in rows Sunlight filters through pride Paints the streets rainbow

My home is up north Where winter winds blow Where snowmen greet each other yearly Raised from death by the snow

My home has many freedoms I can say what I want about power I can buy death machines Or I can buy houses in an hour

My home is where I belong Where red blue and white stripes fly So doesn't it cut deeply To find out everything was a lie?

My home is ugly Forests fall to rolls of concrete Red runs rivers down the sidewalk As yellow badges yell for "peace"

My home is suffocating Two winters with no snow The dead are gone with no return And no one cares at all

I'm shackled to the dirt To work "full time" at 26 hours Rent and bills and disabilities curse me And I fall farther and farther each month

I want out of this place I want to pack my bags My home is a disgrace And constantly it nags

"We the people," we learned in school The same place we were taught of glory All while this same country builds destruction Makes enemies out of the dead and gorey

I need to stay and fight This isn't right The rope's too tight I want to take flight Run run run away to somewhere else To see the stars and still get to work To wave my flag without fear of death To proudly say that I love my home Without a thousand disclaimers for you to scroll

But wouldn't that be calling for arms, to say that? We haven't come to that yet, right?

We have to fight, but in what way? We have to win, someday We have to be strong, while most are weak We have to begin, to seek To thrive in a new world where we can say "Stop the bloodshed!" and it goes away We have to get there We have to make there We have to build there We have to create it somewhere We have to We have to We have to We have to We have to We have to We have to We have to We have to

WE HAVE TO-

i want to rest. but i shouldn't. i want to eat. I haven't the cash. i want to sing. but my voice goes to helping. i want to be. but there's no greater cost than existing.

especially in a world not built for you.

[famewolf]

i will genuinely never understand my dad!!! and i feel guilty for being confused and angered by him!!!! i don't know what he wants and i doubt i ever will

i guess he's known that he's had cancer for over a month now but never told me. and i dont know if it's because he wanted me to reach out/pay attention to him, as he's done in the past or if he just didn't think to, or if it's some other third mysterious reason that i can't think up

we aren't close since he was rarely in my life but i feel like that's something you tell your kid.

and the only reason i found out is because i went to go check and see why he hadn't replied to my message about asking if he wanted to hang out for the thousandth time without getting a response

[unnonexistence]

idk if there's anything in stories i get more petty about than poorly-written "main character shows up to a new place and meets everyone" character introduction scenes

[monstriiss]

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